murderkillmagazine

[murderkillmagazine]

our father, who art in chicago,

[murderkillmagazine]

ok funs over back to business

[murderkillmagazine]

the sad thing about the episode where squidward teaches an art class is that spongebob receives greater recognition despite having no creative vision. his work is technically impressive, but his otherwise powerful imagination fails him, and thus he churns out derivative slop. the thomas kincaid of the sea.

[murderkillmagazine]

[murderkillmagazine]

she carrot on my cake until i cream cheese frosting

[murderkillmagazine]

Vulcan teen on Vulcan [tiktok] saying "I have just lost track of my father in the grocery store." The camera turns to show the viewers the grocery store in which almost every single older middle-aged man has a bowlcut and long robes. Camera turns back to show the teen's face which is expressionless and yet communicates all it needs to.

[murderkillmagazine]

using google keyboard alchemy to create the most miserable emojis possible

[murderkillmagazine]

slow and painful death to my enemies!

quick and merciful death to my friends!

standard type of death to everyone else

[murderkillmagazine]

i dont care if mondays rife,tuesday qednesday full of strife, thursday fuck my baka life, its friday im in sucks

[murderkillmagazine]

Today my professor picked up a garter snake, said “Ow!” five times as it bit him, set it back down, and said, “Okay. That’s one defense mechanism snakes have.”

[murderkillmagazine]

I want to [remembers that suicide jokes only further damage my mental health] fuck you like an animal

[murderkillmagazine]

I want to [remembers that suicide jokes only further damage my mental health] fuck you like an animal

[murderkillmagazine]

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

[murderkillmagazine]

I mean.

[murderkillmagazine]

Not that there's anything wrong with having something wrong with you

[murderkillmagazine]

conclave pr team inconsolable rn. if this happened 2 months ago they would have had that oscar in the bag

[murderkillmagazine]

You don't like New Yawk? 🗽? Bada Bing?