#genshin crack fic

[the-white-void]

Scriptor De Re

~Synopsis: The Traveler is known for their grand accomplishment throughout Teyvat, but who pulls the strings behind the scenes.

~Note: The concept of reader is similar to how Veliona is with Seele (both characters from Honkai impact 3rd).

The Traveler roams around Teyvat to find the end of their journey with the help of a floating child who calls herself Paimon. They have gained strength and power from their journey, more so than the normal adventurer. Could it be because they are a descender? Or do the elements react differently with them? Or maybe... something... or someone else helping them, not seen under the normal eye.

This world is but a game to you, no? Everything is under your will. You just need to follow to the end you made. Guide what you had started from beginning to end. Fill the sad void in your heart.

There are often times when passers-by see the Traveler mumbling questions and statements to themselves and seem to receive an answer in return. Some people thought they had a special communication device while others thought they went nuts from stress. Although, what the traveller sees would either give them a guided path or the nightmare that would consume their world.

"[name]? Do you think these 'stats' on the brooch would help me" the traveller mutters while holding a flower brooch from the Maiden's Beloved set.

"No no, your kit isn't built for healing; it has decent stats for a Barbara, so you might wanna give it to her" the distorted voice responded with a sigh.

"What makes it good for her specifically?" the blonde whispers questionably and waits for their voice to answer.

"Barbara scales off her healing from health, which the Maiden's set gives, and the substats there increase her health stats even more" the voice mumbles tiredly.

"[name], you sound tired, do you need some rest?" they stood as the distorted voice groans "Yeah, I am; imma just take quick power nap, you do what you want while I'm at that" it said as the feeling of power slowly fades, then the traveller finds a place to eat.

"I can't believe they added a new interact mode" you muttered to yourself as you allow the soft sheets and pillows to cuddle you while you drift to sleep.

You were woken by the sounds of bustling streets, not that of cars honking at each other, but rolling carts and yells and chatter from people using some terms you weren't very familiar with "what the heck's going on?" you thought to yourself while picking yourself up from the ground next to the traveller... THE TRAVELLER?!! You turn to see the Traveller snoring in the bed with Paimon drooling next to them "so. I'm in Genshin now... I dunno if that's a good thing" you mutter.

The sound of muffled mumbling tickled the ears of the traveller to rise from their bed to find a figure at the edge of their bed muttering indecipherable words, with a voice they're quite familiar with.

The sound of muffled mumbling tickled the ears of the traveller to rise from their bed to find a figure at the edge of their bed muttering indecipherable words, with a voice they're quite familiar with "[name]?" they mumble while drool drips down their face as they see a figure mimicking the body of a human.

While they try to register the person in front of them as the figure steps away looking as shocked as they were. Paimon wakes up from the smell of food cooking from the window "Traveller, you cooking something tasty?~ WHO IS THAT!!?" She yells in surprise at the messy figure at the end of the bed.

"You see it too?" The reveller questioned the small Paimon as he thought only they could see the figure.

"Wait! I can explain. Not really. But I'm not here for trouble." You try to defend yourself with your hands up as your voice begins to distort.

I'm not done with this.

[rockingbytheseaside]

✦ You are found guilty

(Neuvillette sentences you for your horrible crimes. That's it. sfw)

“It saddens me to announce this… But you leave me with no choice. I shall render the final verdict.” 

The Iudex of Fontaine stood before you, tall and regal with his imposing gaze of impartiality. With a solemn clearing of his throat, he prepared to deliver the ultimate decision. “In light of the evidence provided, and the gravity of your actions, I shall announce the final judgment.”

“N-no… Your honor, Please,” - you whispered, shaking your head in disbelief at what will come. Your hands came clasping together, a silent plea for mercy.

“According to the judgment of Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale…”

“I beg you, d-don’t.”

“... The court finds the defendant guilty.” 

The court fell silent, as the words of the Chief Justice echoed throughout the hall. The silent witnesses of your case were immobile, and no one was here to defend your sins. You clenched your fists, your gaze searching Neuvillette’s despairing one. 

“But monsieur, I am telling you, I am innocent. Look, I have a child!”

Another silence bestowed upon the room. Neuvillette cleared his throat and in the same eloquent tone of formality interjected. Although it took him a great deal not to break out of character - “My dear. For the last time, a four-foot Otter plushie cannot constitute adequate evidence of being a child.” 

You sulked. Had this been a true courthouse, the onlookers would have shaken their heads in disbelief at your feeble attempt to feign innocence. But there were no living spectators in this courthouse. In fact, you and your beloved were not even in the Opera Epiclese. In reality, it was the sanctuary of your home, and the so-called eyewitnesses were your countless pillows or plushies that blocked Neuvillette from hugging you at night when you monopolized the bed with them.

“After careful and thorough consideration, the court has determined that you shall be sentenced to... “ - Neuvillette paused for the dramatics. “An eternity of cuddles and kisses provided by the Iudex himself.”

“Have mercy on me, Neuvi. I used the Otter plushie as a pillow and fell asleep once, it’s not like I forgot to give you a goodnight kiss on purpose, honey.” 

But of course, your beloved would not let such deeds go unpunished. That’s how your life was with him, along with the endless ‘legal jokes’. Neuvillette's professional life demanded impartiality and severity in accordance with the law, but at home, in the comfort of your arms, all formality dissipated. For his sanity, he relished returning home where his need to physically bury his face onto your chest was systematic. All you need to do is either caress his silver hair, embrace him in bed, or give him a loving kiss - it doesn’t matter, he is already a puddle of a dragon in your arms.

However, dare to forget your nightly cuddles and it will rain heavily outside out of the blue.  

“I am afraid the decision is final, dear. No chance of parole, either.” - He sat beside you, arms warped around your form to envelop your face in much-needed kisses. He peppers gentle pecks on your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, anything to reach the quota of the skipped smooches you neglected him. 

“Aw, man. Not even on good behavior?”

“Absolutely not. The court renounces your plushie rights for the upcoming nights.”

It appears that if one yearned for a large Otter to embrace, they may have had one right by their side all along.

[totallynotcoffeeturtle]

Head Spinner

Masterlist

(From the 6th to 30th April, I am having a mini 100 follower milestone event!)

Tags: fluff, crack Summary: Wanderer has quite a unique trait that you can't help but notice

Sometimes, just sometimes, and you swear you are not the only one to notice this, but Wanderer is capable of turning his head way more than any human should be able to. And you understand, he has already told you that he is a puppet when you confessed to him (probably to scare you away), but your mind still can’t help but wonder if his head would actually spin when slapped with enough force. You are very sure he would get angry if you ask, though. However, fortune comes to those who are patient and you are one of them. On your usual date in the outskirts of Sumeru city, an anemo slime rushes at Wanderer while he is trying to explain to you the hierarchy of Inazuma (and how to topple it legally, like you are going to do that). You try to warn him but the slime attacks faster than your words and bounces right at his head- And it spins like a pinwheel meeting strong wind. You ward off the enemy quickly but still can’t help but laugh by the end. Wanderer has to stop the spinning manually with a grimace while you lose it on the ground. He grumbles annoyedly and kicks at your trembling figure on the ground, “Oi, don’t laugh at other people’s struggles, idiot.” You just wipe away a fake tear as you sit up on the ground and immediately show off the ring on your middle finger, “But I’m your idiot~!”

A/N: crack fic borne from (maybe) popular demand and my inability to think at midnight <333

Taglist: @amyminhminh @w4llwoo (if you want to be tagged, just say 'tag me' or smth like that~)

[asmoslverboy]

A moment of curiosity: Dottore. (male!reader) (also, not very serious of a fic.)

"So, you're basically saying that you killed a previous lover?" You ask him, furrowing your eyebrows. You weren't as scared as you were amazed. Intrigued, perhaps? I mean, not only did he manage to make a woman fall in love with him whlist his reputation was below the rocks— he also took her out on a date and killed her. And on top of that, he made it look like wild animals committed all those unspeakable crimes to her.

Dottore simply looks at you, his head cocked to the side, his lip curled as if he was two steps away from inviting you in his bed. "It is wonderful, is it not? I must admit, it was not one of my easiest feats back in the day, nor one of the most... rational ones, however, the reactions I recieved— nay, the situation received— were quite the satisfactory ones."

"So what you're telling me is that you were an impulsive, little attention seeker?"

"That's not quite what i–" Dottore stopped mid sentence, suddenly the correspondence of your words hitting him like a bunch of bricks that were caught up in a hurricane.

"This is not– there is no need to dwell on my past acts, my darling boy. They are not relevant to the current me in any shape, way, or form." He cleared his throat. "And she wasn't my lover, moreso just someone who happened to experience college crushes through my image."

With that, you sat on his lap, as you often did. "Would you have killed me, too, if I was in her place?" You were unserious in that matter, obviously, though Dottore seemed to take your question in the unintended sense.

"Entirely depends on how you'd have been in her place. If you were to simply act like her, with the only difference being your appearance; then I'm afraid the outcome would have been no different. However, if you were one who crushed on me in my days at the Akademiya, and you approached said crush as you did in our actual past, I'm certain that we'd have ended up in a similar position as we are now"

Does this man ever take breaths as speaks?

"Besides, my little prince, how would it be possible that you took her place, in order for that to—..."

Perhaps you should have never asked. Unfortunately for you, and for any passing by his office, he would not stop yapping about the scientific possibilities of the scenario you suggested.

[ukiyoq34]

texts with genshin gang

I’m not doing that whole text pic thing cus I’m lazy but I wanted to do this cus man some people make these guys get so out of character when it comes to this typa stuff

synopsis; asking them for the homework/copy their homework / reader has no pronouns or any specific gender/ can be seen either platonic or romantic whatever you feel like/ paring Xiao, scara, Kazuha, heizou, Tartaglia, and Lyney

-Scara/wanderer

“Bro I need your help”

*read*

“??? bro help”

*read*

“answer i know ur ass is there”

“tf you want now”

“I need help with hw”

“no”

“boy 💀”

*read*

-Heizou

“bro can you help me real quick?”

“sure”

“i didn’t do the homework I need help”

“u sure you need help or do you just wanna copy?”

“is copy and option”

“nah😂”

“Js Help me dawg 😭🙏”

“Lmao get on call and I’ll help you”

“thanks dawg 😘”

“smh wish that kiss was real😒”

“GET OUT!!🤬🗣️”

-Xiao

“Xiao”

“yeah”

“can I copy your homework please🙏🙏🙏”

“I’ll help you but I won’t let you copy”

“WHY?? PLEASE BRO I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THAT 😭😭”

“you have a lot of time I know you do”

“😒😒😒”

“it’s easy dw”

“do I get a kiss if I finish it”

“No??”

“just say you want me dead💔💔”

“😐”

-Childe/Tartaglia

“bro can you send me the hw”

“girl.. WHAT??”

“WDYM WHAT?? DID U NOT DO IT?? 😭”

“I HAD PRACTICE IM THE LAST PERSON YOUSHOULD BE ASKING 😭😭”

“oh my GOD”

“girl don’t give me that attitude 😒😒”

“who is this DIVA”

-Kazuha

“Kazuhakazuhakauzhakauhzhshajakuh”

“yes??”

“did you do the homework”

“yes I did”

“can I PLEASE PLEASE copy your work”

“did you procrastinate it again?”

“yes😓😓”

“alright but try not to make this a habit okay?”

“I know I’m sorry 😢😢 but thanks 🙏🙏🙏🙏”

“Np👍”

-Lyney

“Lyneyyyyyyyyy yayyayag”

“Yeah??”

“Did you do the r homework???”

“yes I did do you need to copy”

“YES 😭🙏”

“here 😘😘”

*attatchment 4 images* “You’re a real one THANK YOU🙏🙏”

“Love you too 😘🤑”

“Love the confidence you have!! Keep it up!”

“☹️”

[wanderingconstellations]

"I miss writing." You muttered, looking at your laptop that's resting on your desk. God, you wanted to write so bad, but you don't feel like it either. Whenever you sat down and— get ready to write, nothing comes in mind. It's like whenever you decide to write, your thoughts simply just dissolves and disappears like air.

You groaned in frustration as you struggled to come up with a single idea. None pops up. You don't feel the motivation, it doesn't feel the same. You feel exhausted just by taking a seat in your chair. Unbelievable, right?

"Why don't you just write then?" A voice from behind brings you back to Earth, a familiar voice that always sends butterflies into your stomach. You turned to look at the man, eyes staring directly back at his own. God, you sometimes forget how handsome this man could be.

"What do you know? I can't just write without a plot!" You utter, clicking your tongue in annoyance. Really, you can't. It just doesn't feel right. Without plot, how are your readers going to understand your writings?

Ah, stupid question.

They wouldn't understand without an explanation of what's going on, obviously.

"You think too much. Probably why your brain is all fried."

His words made you groan in response. He's can be such a sarcastic bitch, but he wasn't wrong. You probably overthink too much. Like your followers, requests, studies and how people think of you. Pathetic, really.

"You're right, I guess."

"You guess?" He asks, raising brow. Internally, the way he's looking at you is making you sigh dreamily. "Let me help. I'm not as skilled as you, but I might as well spare ideas." He continues as a sly smirk grows on his lips.

"wait. WAIT. WHAT'S WITH THAT SMIRK ON YOUR FACE?!"

—— SCARAMOUCHE, KAEYA, WRIOTHESLEY, cyno, kaveh, CHILDE, ayato, SAMPO, jing yuan + ANY OF YOUR FAVES 🫶

------

Continue the end with your imagination 🤭

I tried, and decided to end it here. I haven't written in such a long time, sad really. Thank you for my friend for lending me her laptop to use. Mine was accidentally spilled with coffee (sadly). Accidents happen though. It's fine. Hopefully I can get back writing more <3

[makuzume]

Ey- I saw how much Angst you have in this crib. So I'm here to request a Crack request, It's time for you to finally got out from the darkness ✨✨✨

Can I request Neuvilette, Tighnari, Zhongli and Cyno With an S/o that doesn't like vegetables, but don't like to waste food, so they would just pick it off and put it on the character plate/or give it to them.

Totally not talking about me whenever my family eat out I give the veggie to my mom lol

Also You can write this in Headcanons, no need to make it super long, this is just crack fun request idea :))

Genshin Men with an S/O That Doesn't Like Vegetables

🔅characters: Tighnari, Neuvilette, Cyno, Zhongli, Wanderer

🔅content: gn!reader; implied relationship; light

🔅a/n: I've lived too long in the darkness to remove the angst from my blood but I appreciate it chuu <3 Also, it was physically impossible for me to not write this in paragraphs but this was the best I could do to shorten them ;)

[Genshin Masterlist]

🔅Tighnari🔅

"No y/n. It's important to have a well balanced diet in your meal plan." Tighnari said with an eyebrow raised, watching you intensely stare at the plate in front of you.

You lightly poke at the small pile of vegetables that have been left untouched ever since it was served; The small shreds of leaves, string beans, carrots, brocoli, and squash already forming an unpleasant taste in your mind, causing you to form a displeased expression on your face.

Looking at Tighnari, you put on your biggest pout, hoping that he would take pity on you this time. "...I ate my mashed potatoes...??" You tried to defend yourself.

"That may be a vegetable, but that's more on carbs. That doesn't count. You barely even touched the stir-fry I made."

You could only whine, further vocalizing your disagreement. Tighnari looked at you in silence, his expression clearly unphased at your protests.

For a quick moment, you surprised him when he saw you scooping some vegetables on your fork. His eyes widened slightly, feeling a bit proud of you.

He kept quiet, afraid to make any distractions and make you suddenly change your mind from taking a bite.

But his moment of relief quickly turned into immediate disappointment as soon as he saw you place it down on his plate instead.

He sighed heavily.

Tighnari's plate was already completely empty, but it looked like he had no intentions on leaving the dinner table anytime soon. "y/n, we're not leaving until you finish your food." he softly scolded, just like how a parent would when they made their child eat their vegetables. But even Collei, who is a also a child, never had any trouble finishing whatever meal she was served, opposed to you who refused to even try your veggies.

"People in the city aren't as fortunate to be able to taste such rich vitamins with these vegetables from the forest, which are the freshests within Sumeru, might I add. Many people would have finished their plate by now if they were you."

You did feel a little bad, he cooked it afterall. But he was already well aware that you weren't one to eat vegetables in the first place, so a part of you felt like you had the right to object.

"But-" you started, but you were cut off before you could even finish.

"No 'buts.' Have a taste, I tried to make it taste a bit more savory since I know you're not much of a fan of vegetables." he said, crossing his arms with a strict, but patient look "You can do it. It's just a few bites."

Just seeing the way Tighnari kept his gaze so fixated on you, it felt like there was no turning back now. You didn't dare to even try to run away, knowing this will cause an ear full of lectures for you in the near future.

Reluctantly, you pick up your fork and poke whichever looked like the smallest piece.

You take one final look at Tighnari, hoping he changed his mind and let you off the hook this time. "Go on, y/n. Have a bite"

You sighed in defeat, accepting the fate which Tighnari had set on you.

Taking a bite, you were prepared for a bitter tasting flavor to greet your tongue, but surprisingly, the longer you chewed, you slowly pick up a savory kind of taste, just like how Tighnari mentioned.

It surprisingly tasted good, like the beef you just ate in your dish, but munching on the texture of the vegetables still made a bit of a strange sensation in your mouth. Overall though, it was not as bad as you thought.

"It's kind of tasty... It doesn't taste like plant and twigs like I thought."

He raised an eyebrow once more "Of course it is. You're not eating uncooked vegetables, y/n. That's how vegetables are supposed to taste like when seasoned well enough."

Tighnari watched you slowly eat all that was leff of your plate, smiling at you once you finished. "See, was that so hard?"

You smiled back at him, feeling rather proud of your little accomplishment. "Can we have steak for dinner?" Immediately, you requested as if would be the reward you gain from eating just a cup of vegetables.

Tighnari smiled. "Tonight, we're having braised artichokes with tomato coulis."

You expressed your stubborness one more, whining in denial.

He could only chuckle as he stood up, taking both your plates with him, shaking his head endearingly.

...

🔅Neuvilette🔅

"...Is there a problem...? You've barely touched your side dish." Neuvilette said, his eyebrows slightly scrunched up with concern. "Are the vegetables they served you not appetizing...?"

The both of you were already near done with your meal, yet the bowl of vegetables beside your plate remained unnoticed. You looked up at him and gently shook your head "Oh, no, it's nothing. It's just that I don't really like eating veggies all that much in general."

Rather than seeing him have a more relieved expression, the small pout on his lips remained. "My apologies... I did not know that. I ordered it on behalf of you afterall... Please, feel free to order another side dish that you'd like. Or perhaps a dessert that you're interested in trying."

Neuvilette said with a slightly panicked tone. His soft and worried nature was something you wouldn't have had expected the first time you met him. It was rather endearing seeing someone as intimidating as the Iudex of Fontaine act so gentle in front of you.

Seeing his worried expression, you couldn't help but find it adorable how he got overly worked up over a side dish.

You chuckle softly "Neuvy, relax... It's okay. It's not a big deal." you smile warmly to reassure him.

You reach for the small serving of greens and place it down in front of him. "Here, you can eat it if you want, I won't finish it."

Neuvilette looked at you, still a bit uncertain. "Well, alright... If you insist... Are you sure you won't mind?"

You nod, smiling. "Yup."

He carefully grabbed the small bowl of vegetables in front of him, his concerned expression from earlier already begadn to fade.

Suddenly, an idea comes to your mind. "You know what...? Some dessert right now actually sounds kind of nice, now that you mentioned it." Raising your hand up in the air, you politely called over one of the server's attention. Soon, ohe came over to your table with a pen and paper in hand, ready for your order.

"I'll have a slice of chocolate cake for dessert, and he'll have... a cup of shaved ice. And please make sure you use fresh water instead of tap water... Oh- with a spoon of sweet syrup on top too...?" You look at him with a smile, waiting for some form of confirmation from Neuvilette regarding his dessert. The waiter could only take down notes with a mildly confused reaction from the unsual request.

He nodded slowly, a gentle exhale escaping his soft lips which formed a warm smile. "You know me very well, my little ocean pearl."

...

🔅Cyno🔅

Looking up from the meal in front of him, Cyno saw you casually place down a spoon full of veggies onto his plate.

He slightly furrowed his brows. "y/n, why are you giving me your vegetables..?" Cyno asked, mildy confused as you continued give him a few more scoops of the salad.

"I don't want it... so... you can have it..!"

He stopped his chewing, processing the chrrent situation at hand. "But... I don't want to eat it either... It was just a part of the dish I ordered. I was actually going to give it to you as well..."

You paused in the middle of handing him another batch of greens... realizing the tension that had now formed in the atmosphere.

Both of you stared at each other in silence.

Looking over to his plate, you noticed how everything else had been nearly finished... all except his vegetables.

"But it would be a waste to just leave it.. don't you think...?" You tried to persuade him, to which he replied "... which is exactly why you should eat your serving instead of giving it to me."

You put down your utensils, realizing the current issue: both of you didn't want to eat the salad.

"But... I don't eat vegetables at all... I know you eat them sometimes..!" You protested lightly, feeling a little reluctant to waste the few shreds of cabbages and carrots.

"True." Cyno responded. "But this salad in particular is rather tasteless. I can't taste anything since they didn't add any other sauce to it... Also, I don't wish for it to go to waste either... They gave us rather a pretty big portion...."

You both looked at each other, a bit dumbfounded on the best possible solution. You were thinking of a good compromise where the two parties involved in this dilema could leave the restaurant peacefully.

Cyno closed his eyes, also devising a good plan to solve the crisis-... just like how he planned various strategies during missions for his work as the General Mahamatra.

"Since both of us don't want to eat it... " Cyno started, his voice turning serious.

You lean forward, eager to listen to his suggestion.

"...Why don't we duel for it? Loser eats the vegetables."

"....."

"....."

(Narrator: ....)

"...I AM NOT PLAYING TCG AGAINST YOU!" You objected, immediately placing both your hands on the table. "No way am I going to win against YOU."

He takes a deep sigh as his offer got rejected, becoming completely clueless once more. "Well, I'm all out of options."

"Really? That's your best AND only idea..?" You sigh with a raised eyebrow, wondering how this man in front of you is the same man who is known to be one of the smartest and strongest men among the soldiers of Sumeru. "Let's just get it packed up and ask Tighnari to make stir fry salad."

Cyno thinks for a moment, his head low and his hand resting on his chin. "Hm... that's actually a good plan... At least Tighnari would be able to put some actual flavor to it."

You smile, playfully rolling your eyes at him.

...

🔅Zhongli🔅

"Hm..." Zhongli hummed curiously, watching you from across the table as you took another bite from your plate. "...You do not like the vegetables in your dish?"

You paused, a bit embarassed that he noticed. "Yeah... I'm not really that fond of eating them..."

You sigh.

After putting down the fork onto the table, you look up at him, assuming that you were about to hear more about the benefits of a 'healthy meal plan' from Zhongli and what not. You rest your arms onto the table and listen intently.

"Eating vegetables is good for you. They are also quite delectable when seasoned right... I believe that it is good to give it a chance to prove itself to you...? You should try it, my dearest." He said with his signature enthusiastic but gentle voice.

After making a small chuckle, you gave him a nod of acknowledgement. "I know I know... But still, I just really don't like eating them, that's all." You shrugged casually.

"I see..." Zhongli started "Then you can transfer them onto my plate, if you'd like. It would be best to not waste such perfectly good food like so."

You smiled, a bit relieved to hear him be so willing as to take the veggies off of your hands.

You eagerly picked up your fork once more, scooping them up and gently placing it in Zhongli's plate several times until all the vegetables in your dish have completely disappeared.

He pokes at one of the slices of squash and eats it, and instantly, his face brightens up. "Mh. It tastes delicious."

"Oh, really?" you responded. "It's good that you like it then."

Zhongli takes another bite. "Hmm, yes. Perfectly well seasoned indeed... We should order a platter the next time we return with our fellow friends."

For a moment, you went silent, your eyes slightly squinting at the realization. "...You're not trying to convince me to taste of the vegetables... are you..?"

Zhongli closesd his eyes as he eats another piece, unable to give you a response. His smile shined brightly as he continued to chew on the slices of colorful cubes, acting as if he were too focused on his meal to have paid attention to his surroundings.

You sigh, aware of his intentions. "...ugh... fine..." You said in defeat.

"I'll taste it...."

He opened his eyes, suddenly being able to hear you now. "Ah, you are interested to take a bite, I see?"

You could only smile as Zhongli glady pokes a small piece of brocoli for you and carefully brought it over to your mouth. "Just this one, okay??"

He chuckled handsomely softly. "Here, have a taste, my dearest. I'm sure you will find it delicious."

...

🔅Wanderer🔅

His eyes remained closed, enjoying gentle blow of the breeze as it hit his porcelain skin.

The two of you sat on a log which faced a view of the tall forest trees, having a nice little picnic as you enjoyed the clear sunny sky above.

Nahida had recently got interested in cooking with a few scholars she made friends with, so whenever she practicesd making a new dish, she always packed two lunch boxes for the two of you to eat during your dates.

"...And just what do you think you're doing?" Wanderer said with an eyebrow slightly raised, his one eye opening to get a good look at you from his peripheral vision.

Busted.

You were caught red handed as you were in the middle of transfering some of the seasoned brocoli onto his empty box. "...I'm kind of full.." you quietly defended.

He scoffed softly. "You lie very well." With his arms crossed, he turned his head towards you, observing your reactions. "You also mentioned that you wanted to get some waffles after lunch too."

With your head hanging low, you slowly put the brocoli back in your lunch box. "..fine... I didn't wanna eat the brocoli... okay..?" You confessed shyly.

He sighed calmly, and you sensed a short lecture was ahead of you.

"Lesser Lord Kusanali had personally cooked this for us. Though I don't mind eating the vegetables for you on other occasions, but she made this for you." he softly scolded.

Though his actions and words sounded rather harsh, his tone was gentle. From how you knew him, even though there was always a hint of sarcasm and mild irritation in his voice, you knew it still came from a place of tenderness.

You lowered your head in shame. You did feel guilty since Nahida did put in the effort to cook it for you. She also seemed rather excited whenever she prepare the snacks for you whenever the two of you would set out for a date.

"Now. Go ahead, finish your meal. Unless you want me to spoon feed it to you like a baby." He said with a slightly strict but soft tone.

You look up at him, a smile slowly forming on your lips. "Well... I technically AM your baby... right, baby?" You teased jokingly, hoping to have a bit of a light and playful moment with him.

His reaction was rather shocked. He was taken aback from the new pet name, especially since it was one he didn't see himself being called such a term apart from the other sweet names you've already been using.

His lips tightly closed and his eyebrows scrunched up, turning his head to face the forest once more, visibly affected by your choice of words. "...Trying to flirt with me- It isn't going to work. You shouldn't waste perfectly good food." Wanderer said, his voice mildly irritated but his eyes expressed embarassment.

Playfully, you hung your head in defeat, finally giving in. "Alright, but only if you still feed it to me. I'll finish all of if if you do that..., deal?"

He closed his eyes and took a deep sigh. "Fine..." and finally turned his head again to face you. "If that's what makes you finish it."

...

[Back to Genshin Masterlist]

a/n: It's back to writing for Genshin aaaaaa🗣️ ‼️I missed this <3 thank archons this has finally graduated from my drafts >:'D FEW MORE DRAFTS LET'S GOOO CHAT

Credits to @makuzume on Tumblr || Do not steal, translate, modify, reupload my works on any platform.

[vi0let-writes]

Alright then, may I request Cyno, Xiao and AlHaitham. S/o pranking them, you know that one period prank girlfriend do on their boyfriend?, telling them to go by her some pads with wings. To see what they actually get for her (like would they actually understand the assignment or actually got her pads with Chiken wings thinking that's what s/o meant) or even told them to buy non-existent feminine products for example "help me buy the Super Jumbo Tampons with Wings✨✨✨" that kind of stuff. This is just crack request, wanting to trick these innocent stoic guys hehe~ 😈😈😈 this can be a modern au if you want

The dividers I used are here

thank you SM for the request!!!! This is such a silly idea! There is a screenshot of the messages for each one, and then a written part below, so make sure you don’t miss that!

characters: Alathiam, Cyno, Xiao

includes: Crack, fluff

Alhathiam

“I’m home” Alhathiams voice sounds as he walked through the front door. He made his way into the living room, where you sat on the couch, reading a book. You looked up, seeing your boyfriend with a shopping bag in one hand, and a takeout box in the other.

“oh! Did you get me food too? You’re so sweet!” You cheered happily. He rose his eyebrows confused.

“yeah, the wings you wanted?” He confirmed, his face obviously filled with confusion. You paused for a moment, before realizing that he misinterpreted the request, you then started crackling out in laughter.

“y-you.. thought I mean.. HAhAhaHa! Chicken wings?!” You wheezed out.

“what..?”

“let me see the pads you got.” He nodded, handing you the package over. “Baby, look, here on the package, it says ‘winged’ that’s what I meant” you giggled, taking one out and showing him. “Here, these flaps wrap around to keep them in place.” He looked utterly embarrassed.

“yeah.. I knew that.. I- I.. uh just wanted food..” he tried to play it off.

“it’s okay! I’ll go get these put away and then we can cuddle and eat these!” Alhathiam nodded, ears still red.

Xiao

“Love” a voice suddenly appeared behind you, causing you to jump.

“Xiao! Hi” you sighed out. He fell into your arms, face hiding away from you.

“I’ve failed you..” he grumbled out. “I couldn’t find the feminin product you requested.” You laughed, feeling kinda bad.

“it’s okay sweetie, I was just joking with you! Now I feel bad…” you ran your hands gently through his hair.

“what.. why? I went to 5 different places,people staring at me rummaging through things, and being sad for a silly prank? You have no respect for the Adepti..” he huffed, letting go of you and crossing his arms.

“no Xiao! I’m sorry.. come here, we can cuddle.” You apologized. He just rolled his eyes.

“fine.. only for a bit. I’m a busty person.”

Cyno

Cyno trudged through the front door, and to you in a hurry, 3 bags in his hands. When he came bursting through your bedroom door, your eyes widened in concern.

“Cy, what?” You questioned.

“I’m sorry, I took so long because I went to like 10 places trying to find the ones you mentioned; but I couldn’t… so I just got a bunch of them, you could stack them!” He reasoned, putting the bags down on the bed, revealing MANY boxes of pads. Your eyes widened again in surprise, before you laughed.

“Cy, you don’t stack them for one, also I was pranking you..” your smile was wide. He was quite for a second.

“oh.. haha, darling, I left work! For a prank?!” He sighed. ”what? You could have said that you were working!” A frown appeared on your face.

“hmm, it’s okay, but what do we do with all of these?” He motioned to the pads.

“I’ll use those eventually.” You bummed out a response. “Why don’t we play TCG to make up for it” Cyno pondered your proposal.

”I suppose I could take the rest of the day off”

Hope this was good!

you can leave requests in the “ask me anything”

my list of fandoms is pinned in my blog.

[heartsforscara]

“call me back?”

in the wanderer’s eyes, you are amicable, beautiful, and soft with a backbone. he loves you with his whole heart, albeit not the kind of love people fantasize about. love is not fluffy and all giddy emotions or warm hearts to him. love is painful. love is eating him alive.

in his opinion, he is none of those. he is rotten at heart, his is ugly, with scratches on his porcelain like skin spiraling upwards on his limbs, and he is so rude that his words pierce. he fears he will sully you, terrified he is but an impurity in your life who will taint you.

he refuses to let that happen. so no, he cannot give in, cannot admit to you that his pining over you has been brutally murdering him, your soft words skewering him again and again, annoyingly creating a hole in his heart only a certain someone can fill. he will swallow the words he wishes to say every single time, the three words he had practised in the mirror countless times compressed into nothing but ashes to rise from the dust the text time.

and the excruciating process has repeated once twice, three times. a science experiment should be repeated 3 times to ensure reliability, they say. is he so incompetent that he still cannot arrive at a conclusion even after the 3 repetitions?

he cannot fathom why he can’t let go of you. he knows fully well why he likes you— your perfects make up a whole list. but he is the villain. he is trying to change. he should at least not be so ridiculously selfish as to try to keep you all for himself. he breathes.

to him, you remain sui generis even in a crowd. their voices form a cacophony of ignorant fools babbling their incompetent minds away. your voice is what he describes as “grating” or “downright suffocating”, but the opposite is true, and he plays your voice on repeat in your head.

his reticent nature is one you know all too well, and yet you can tell how he truly feels. you notice his fleeting glances at you from across the room, his longing gaze not escaping you. you had wanted to express your feelings countless times, but you remind yourself; he is healing. you will wait.

but alas, a little push never hurt anyone. he is wont to your teasing nature, so when you call him, he does not think too much of it.

“kiyoshi! hi!”

Kiyoshi. the name you had bestowed upon him. it had brought him unbridled joy and confusion when he had first heard it, and to this day it still does. kiyoshi, ironically, means pure and soundless.

pure.

why would someone ever think he was pure? after all the things he’s done, all the lying, the killings, the crimes-

he breaks his train of thought.

“… [name]. hey. what’s going on?” his voice had an underlying tone of worry— he was always far too cautious for his own good.

“nothing. just wanted to ask you something.”

a pause, and none of you spoke, leaving an awkward silence.

“hello? are you… not going to ask the question?”

“ah. well, I need to hang up now. sorry. I texted you the question. and im not accepting a text response!”

“huh?”

“BYE!”

——-

he stares at your text, incredulous. “Will you call me back tomorrow?”

shit. he’s falling far too deep into this rabbit hole, isn’t he?

——

the next day, he calls you. “hello?”

“oh! hey! I assume your answer is a yes?”

“No. my answer is no.” his voice has an edge to it, as if expressing his defiance.

he can hear chortles of laughter from your side. “kiyoshi, you’re so funny!”

he dismisses the comment, ignoring how his cheeks burn at the comment. not the good kind of burn- the kind of burn that leaves him gasping, needing more.

“shut up. anyways. why go through this wild goose chase? you called me just to ask me to call you? that’s stupid. get to the point, [name].”

you stifle a giggle. “I just wanted to hear your voice, kiyoshi. I can’t see you everyday, so I just wanted to let you know that your voice is really pretty. I’ll ask you another question on text today. remember to reply, only through calls!”

you hang up on him leaving him aching. if he had a heart, it would have squeezed itself so tight it would be left with nothingness. what gives you the right to make his chest clench, to make his knees buckle, to give him hopes of a rose-tinted future?

grumbling, he opens the text.

“will you call me back?”

[the-white-void]

Unbounded by the Trivial

You are an imposter but you don’t really care about anything anymore so you just let it be, it’s not like if you try hard enough you could change it.

You had a normal life and whatever happened you just let it be, “it is what it is” was your motto in life, so if there’s anything you don’t have control over, you wouldn’t go out of your way to change it.

And so after your mind was blown off you woke up in genshin impact and let your holy luck deal with what kind of situation you would end up in.

Oh lo and behold the Knights have swarmed you with weapons and blockaded your surroundings “Welp, I ain’t surviving this shit” you thought in your mind, the acting grandmaster marched through the crowd of knights while you simply stayed on the ground looking at everyone’s feet “you have committed high treason for impersonation of the divine one” her voice boomed across the field “you imprisoned until the gods of the nation’s decide what to do with you” as she readied her blade preparing for an attempt of your escape “ok” was all yet happened, you a criminal with unknown punishment simply just letting it happen?

The blade still in hand in belief that you were bluffing, you stood up with hands upfront “So what are you waiting for?” This move stunned the crowd as the Knight in front of you cuffed your hands with a puzzled face.

Taken to the dungeons of Mondstat you just waited while trying to chat with the guards and entertain yourself with their reactions, some were repellent against you, some were hesitant to reply, and some even turned into a therapy session.

It didn’t take long for the true creator to know of your arrival and then immediately start planning how they will greet their precious baby in their palace.

The archons rarely meet one another and especially all 7 of them in the same room and here they are because of you. It all started awkwardly since no one knew how to start this off, after some time the silence was broken by Zhongli “So it seems we all agree that something needs to be done with the imposter” he said looking suspiciously at the Tsaritsa “If you all agree?” he questioned, all of them nodded in agreement “so then what would you like to suggest then?” the dendro archon asked the other gods, the anemo archon quickly jumped up “a simple public execution would suffice their grace won’t it?” the green bard suggested but some were hesitant.

Therefore the hydro archon proposed a vote, those who wish for the undertaking of the imposter were to raise their right hand, and those who opposed were to raise their left. 4 raised their right hand, Zhongli, Venti, Ei, and Murata all agreed to punish the imposter by taking their life, and 2 presented their left hand in a debate against the option which was from the dendro and hydro archon, many were shocked by the god of justice going against the idea.

“Why would you of all people go against this?” Ei stood up and asked her in disbelief “Well serving unjust justice is no different than committing a crime and based on what I’ve heard they don’t seem to be doing anything wrong” she stated as the Tsaritsa cut her off “Your reasoning lacks evidence, as you said you’ve only heard it” her tone cold and stern sticking a nerve on the hydro archon “that’s funny coming from someone who chose no side and that is exactly why I wish to see for my self who this imposter really is if you’d allow me barbatoes” to which he approved.

The Divine overseer of teyvat ignored all their duties and continuously daydreamed about how their reunion would go as they decorated their place on all your desires with a joyous smile.

A few days pass until the God of Justice arrived in the city of freedom where the imposter was held imprisoned. Upon entering faint voices were heard from where they were supposed to be detained but when she arrived expecting a violent prisoner but saw a knight shedding tears at a figure behind bars gently patting their head and mouthing words she could not decipher.

The knight saw the high figure then quickly wiped their tears and greeted them with their voice croaking “Your majesty, welcome to Mondstat, the imposter is held here” They gestured to your cell while you were limped on the bars looking at the god before you “so are you here to kill me?” this question was unexpected from someone with the face the deity that sees all “no but I am here for answers, specifically from you” she glowered at you “although I am against just killing you for no apparent reason other than looking like them I do have to know your intentions. Now tell” as she motions the guards to leave

You sigh and tell them what you know including some hints about your world.

“So you tell me you are from another world where this world is implemented as a game where everything is recorded as a story for people all over your world���

“Yep”

“I see… am I any good?”

“huh?”

“You did say all of teyvat became a game in your world so what did you think of me?”

“I don’t know, you weren’t in it yet”

A disappointed sigh left her lips while you were confused. “As much as what you have told me does seem farfetched, how do you expect me to believe this?” your expression was all drained from thinking about what you’ve been doing with your life “Believe what you want to believe, it ain’t really my problem”

“Aren’t you a little too pessimistic?”

“It’s from experience and from that I just gave up on controlling things that are out of control”

The hydro archon stood up to leave the saddening aura of the room “You are one weak soul aren’t you” she said before she left “I am… and pathetic”

Out of the dungeon waiting for the god of justice were the other six archons waiting for what was information about the imposter.

“What did you find out about them?” the god of freedom taunted “Nothing? I bet they wouldn’t even talk to you”

“They looked lost and defeated, but what they said is unbelievable… but possible”

“Sympathy from you? They must be lucky?” the war wretched god teased

“Well, what did they say?” the wisdom-thirsty deity asked

“That is not necessary, 4 to 2 when we decided if they are to be executed for the public and for their grace” the former geo archon imposed on the group.

Not long when the execution day had come when your head was locked in a guillotine, you were shaking no your body was but you just stayed still as your tears ran down your face.

After decorating their palace and planning how you two will be with each other and replaying all these scenarios in their head they finally descend upon the lands of teyvat but it was quiet… and silent and they finally realized that they have not checked up on the people for some time and saw what was to happen, nothing but rage was all they could feel as they dashed through the wind to find you

Your head was cut but you did not die, you were wide awake while looking at your headless body, it did not have muscles or bones, it was like a tip bucked with golden blood being spilt across the floor, you tried to stand up and so did your body and it worked like it was normal.

Many were horrified by the blood they had spilt, divine blood, but you simply picked up your head and lifted it above your head

“Holy smokes dude, this cut is insane, shoutout to my barber daug”

Then the earth began to rumble and the winds and thunders covered the sky before the Divine Deity you’ve heard of appears before you, several thoughts came swirling down your head until you dropped then the creator’s face turned to worry as they trembled from the sound of your head clashing with the ground, it didn’t take long for your head blood to run out where you fainted.

You woke up in the arms of the creator snuggling you close to their arms humming a lullaby you are unfamiliar with “Oh, you’re awake, are feeling any better? Do you need me to get something?” Their words going through one ear out the other “Are you that god they talkin' about?” “Yes but no need for such formalities my dear child” their tone giving off the feeling ling clouds “So you are like my parent now?” “I always have been” You were beyond confused but you’ll ask about it later.

“Ok, but what happened to uh.. the hydro archon?” You were curious about her since that day “She’s imprisoned like the others” “but she didn’t do anything” “Oh, I see very well then I’ll get her”.

She was released shortly after and she thanked you for your generosity but you simply wish for a chat every now and then, the Tsaritsa was also released since she was merely listening for information

[yiiofsh]

✦ . DATING ZHONGLI . ₊ ⊹

⌗ synopsis experiences with zhongli as your boyfriend

› content crack, gn!reader, headcannons

notes .ᐟ this was made as a joke for my friend ^_^

BF! ZHONGLI who makes u massgae his old ass back every night, saying that you're getting the wrong spot every five seconds of changing to his desired spot

"ah.. yes, just right there." he spoke out for the ten hundredth time. "wait, no.. move a little to the left." he said, though he said the opposite just a minute before. "(name).. why can't you get the spot right? it's not that hard. now move a little more down." these were the same sentences he would spillevery massage night.

BF! ZHONGLI who makes you help crack his granny ass back, because how could he move around and spend time outside with a stiff and uncomfortable back?

BF! ZHONGLI who gives an akward smile while explaining how he coincidentally forgot to bring his money on your fifth date even though at your last date he said he'll pay for the next one.

"yea.. sorry, that's on me. i forgot my wallet again." zhongli said with a guilty expression, bringing his hand up to his head. while scratching his head trying not to look guilty, he secretly hopes you pay for the food. while slighting peaking from his closed eyes, he saw you reaching out to the payment terminal and inserting your card inside. he was secretly cheering inside, thinking about more excuses to use for his next dates with you.

BF! ZHONGLI who likes drinking tea with you while sitting on the balcony, watching the sunset with you. while sipping the hot liquid he thinks about how he could milk more money out of tartaglia.

› @yiiofsh

[oh-allie]

shakespeare and swooning

alhaitham x g/n reader

synopsis; you read one shakespeare play and now you want to impress your "buddy" alhaitham with your newfound knowledge !! what could go wrong?

fluff, g/n reader, TOTAL CRACKFIC, OOC alhaitham, SWEARING, kind of a modern au ???? i mention "ringing tighnari" but that could just be imagined as using the akasha terminal !!!! didnt write this with a modern au in mind

warning ‼️ PLEASE dont expect this to be accurate, if youre a big classic literature fan then dont attack me for not being a NERD ☹️ just imagine a poser using their fancy words (because they think its cool)

you know how libraries are supposed to be a place of study and tranquility? no the fuck you don't, or at least you don't care, because running through the house of daena with shakespeares, "romeo and juliet," in your hands is NOT very tranquil.

multiple poor akademiya students look at you, PISSED OFF because your shoes are going clu-clonk on the marble floors, which wouldn't be an issue if you weren't scurrying through the library.

is that kaveh ?? he's giving you the same look he gives alhaitham every day ..

... but this is IMPORTANT !! you're on a MISSION right now !! you just finished reading the first act of "romeo and juliet," and you're convinced your brain has expanded tenfold in size.

you're now rushing to your good pal haitham to share your knowledge! how kind and gracious!

you're stopped before his house, you've known him for long enough and gotten close enough for him to let you come in whenever. you know kaveh isn't home, and haitham would never purposefully work overtime, so you're certain you can get his attention and show off in peace.

why are you so adamant about showing off to alhaitham? is it REALLY showing off, or are you trying to, heehee, impress him?? its too late to be flustered at this thought because you already unlocked the door with the spare key kaveh leaves behind one of haithams ugly ass decorative plants and you've taken off your shoes and oh god hes right there and the sunlight from the door is lighting up his face in that way that only happens to him and hes looking at you with a suprised, slightly annoyed, but incredibly fond look and oh no what was your plan again?

"greetings, alhaitham! ☝️🤓" you say, finding a surge of confidence remembering the story you read.

"... hey. what are you doing here?" his response is quick but before you respond he continues, "did you just say greetings?"

"indubidibdibdly! hath you be surprised?" you pretentious hipster. you think youre SO cool, but unfortunately your little crush doesn't seem very impressed either.

"okay, what are you doing? you're being weird." he's not even looking at you, and he's back in his chair before you can rush over and sit on the couch. "is something wrong? should i get tighnari to give you a checkup?"

you'd be touched by the care of the suggestion if he wasn't so cheeky in his tone.

"wha, what, no?! no what the hell- stop ringing tighnari."

"are thou o'er wrought with admiration?" you grin, somehow still under the impression that you sound cool.

he gives an eyebrow raise to that. not bothering to mark his place in his book, he stands up.

"i lie testy in why you act so unpregnant, my dear."

"what"

HUH ? what did bro just say ? testy ???? unpregnant ?? MY DEAR ??? backtrack again, UN-WHAT ??

"be still my beating heart, thou hast taken mine with absolute cunning." is he making fun of you i genuinely can't tell ... its like hes speaking in moon runes right now.

"haitham, heheh, WHAT are you DOING ??" you can't help but laugh at his funny little words, magic man. even if you're clueless to what he just said to you.

"whatever doth thou mean?" he's totally making fun of you !! after ALL your effort to impress him too?

"well, usually i do all the ranting and you sit pretty and listen, so it's weird that you're talking so much, especially like THAT?" fym sit pretty ....

"when words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain." that sounds familiar, but you can't think about it longer before he continues, "shall i compare thee to a summers day?"

"ALRIGHT, i recognize that one, dummy." you laugh, "were you really not impressed by me?" you whisper, the rush of embarrassment you shouldve felt in that library is finally catching up with you.

he stares at you for a second. you just wish you could find out what hes thinking up there, if you could even understand it.

and then he lets you into his mind, with a simple "i love you." as if alhaitham, renowned scribe of the akademiya, top student, couldn't find the words to describe how he felt for you.

or maybe that was what he felt for you. he loved you.

"... you called me unpregnant."

a/n; i read romeo and juliet like... 3 years ago.... so.. uam... 😇😇 totally accurate! hope this crackfic style of writing isnt too niche so this doesnt flop because EMBARRASSING....... do people even like al haitham anymore like guys lets go back to the good old days before the FRENCH came in..... (this is just me projecting cause i havent played genshin in a while and i still lovelove sumeru)

[jays-bookmarks]

Wenuts (Cyno + Tighnari & reader)

A crack oneshot I wrote inspired by the 3.6 special program in which I learned how to pronounce "wenut"

Summary: You have a conversation about the dangers of the desert with Cyno and Tighnari. Words: 332 Warnings: reader makes a Cyno-level joke

“It’s important to have a proper guide if you’re traveling through the desert,” Cyno said. “On top of the harsh environment and weather that can change in an instant, there are all manner of creatures that would seek to harm you. Wenuts are particularly troublesome to avoid…”

“…Weigh… newts?” You furrowed your brow, repeating the unfamiliar word back at Cyno.

Tighnari jumped in to explain.

“Wenuts are a serpentine organism that make their homes in tunnels under the desert,” he said. “Due to its subterranean nature, it’s incredibly sensitive to vibrations. A brooding wenut is highly aggressive and will attack indiscriminately if you are near a clutch of its eggs. Since a fully grown wenut can control a large territory, and eggs are often buried in the sand, it’s difficult to tell where you might be in danger.”

As Tighnari spoke, your mind was still occupied with the pronunciation of the word. You nodded at the end of Tighnari’s explanation, even though you weren’t paying attention.

“Newts are pretty light, though,” you said. “You’d need a really sensitive scale to weigh them properly.”

There was a moment of silence as Tighnari and Cyno processed your words. A grin made its way to your face as you saw the realization dawn on both of them. Cyno nodded at you in approval, while Tighnari simply groaned.

“You’re learning well. That was good,” Cyno said.

“Did you seriously pretend not to know what a wenut was just to make that joke?” Tighnari asked, exasperation clear in his voice.

“No! This was the first time I’d heard the word!” you said. “Come on, don’t tell me you don’t think it sounds kinda weird. How do you spell it, anyway?”

With another exasperated sigh, Tighnari spelled out the word out for you. You traced the letters in the air as he did, mouthing it to yourself.

“Wee-nut?” you said after you finished writing out the word.

“You’re just doing this on purpose, now.” Tighnari’s tail was twitching in annoyance even as Cyno let out a chuckle beside him.

[steamyconcepts-minorsdni]

So I’ve been having brain rot about chiscara wedding and I think it’s so funny how you could logic every archon into showing up to that event.

Nahida: She’s going either way. Im pretty sure she’s decided that they’re best friends/family whether Scara likes it or not. (He does)

Raiden: I mean, his mom. Duh. Yes I know she wouldn’t remember him and I know he hates her but what if they ended up meeting again and she does remember him and explains herself and they make up because I said so.

Zhongli: I do ship Zhongchi at the same time, so boyfriend/bestie gets an invite.

Furina: Childe definitely invites Wriothesley because he wants to be friends with (fight) him. And given that Childe is responsible for single handedly keeping Fontaine from becoming Atlantis for MONTHS, Neuvillette would end up insisting he go too even if it’s just to drop off a wedding gift, and because I think it’d be funny, dragging Furina along with him.

Venti: Zhongli’s plus one because they’re husbands.

The Tsaritsa: One of her harbingers is getting married why not show up.

And then it’s completely tense and awkward for everyone involved 👍

[makelemonade]

Happy Birthday!

Relations: Ayato, Albedo, Alhaitham, Aether, Childe, Cyno, Scaramouche/Wanderer x Gender Neutral Reader (separate obv )

Warnings: uhm slight angst, swearing, too much fluff ew (aw), forgetting abt ur birthday (literally all of them do)

support me on kofi!! link is on master list (pinned post)

Ayato:

-I’ll be so fucking supercalfraglicious rn, that man won’t even be able to spend it with you.

-Yoimiya and Ayaka def bet 10$ he forgets acc

-but because I’m SUCH a sucker for angst to fluff

-In the morning, he won’t even know what day it is. He’ll be to tired to comprehend anything. He’s not a morning person in the slightest

-He does wake up before you though due to the work, so you’ll still be asleep while he greats ready and gives ur forehead a lil smooch before he heads out to do any tasks or duties

-you’ll wake up upset to see NO GIFT LIKE WTF

-richest man in Inazuma CANT even get u anything ?!

-maybe he left it for thoma so he can give it to you when you wake up!!

-when you go eat breakfast, ur eyes light up to see thoma holding a gift but slightly dim when it’s none other than his and not your beloveds.

-nonetheless your happy you got a gift !!

-it’ll be a few hours and STILL no gift. Thoma tells you with a sad dog pout face that Ayato did forget

-so you actually spend the day with him!!! thoma >>>>>

-your back in the evening, signs of daylight all gone as night was to hit

-when ur back you fully come to terms Ayato did forget about your birthday because he didn’t even wish you a happy bday :)

-you walk past him sitting on the bed with a few bags of stuff you liked that Thoma bought as another gift and Ayato looked at you confused

“Who bought you all of that?” He asked, sitting up and setting a few work files down on the bed.

“Thoma.” You answered, not even sparing him a glance.

“Confusion grew more along with a tinge of jealousy. “What was the occasion?”

“My birthday.”

-I’m telling u rn any type of emotion DROPS

-he lowkey might start crying

-hell ask u to sit on the bed and apologize for everything and like just kiss u all over and if ur still mad he’ll understand but like god knows you can’t stay mad at him

-he acc takes u on a shopping spree the next day and tasks Thoma with inviting all of your friends so when you get back to the estate, it’s none other than a surprise party!!

Albedo

-HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAY A BIRTHDAY IS

-thankfully you explained it to him a few weeks before your birthday and even if he isnt human, he’d like to partake in it

-but he’s never done this before so he has to seek out Kaeya for them

-he went to Klee first but decided It wasn’t best to give you a bomb for your birthday

-Kaeya tells him all type of gift ideas and Albedo acc saves up a bunch of his money to buy you all your favourite stuff

-he’s so cute

-he tries to bake a cake

-key word tried

-his cake became demolished like alchemy couldn’t even fix it

-it was adorable though and you thanked him for everything. he forgot about work the whole day just for you :)

Alhaitham

-i cant decide if he forgets or is just too busy to spend it with you

-I think he’ll forget to call off work on the day of your birthday and won’t be able to spend it with you

-like he remembers your birthday but his slow ass just couldn’t remember to call off work

-he does have a present ready for you though! and a long message he sent to your Akasha while he was at work

-he actually did come home early just for you

-insert him twirling you around omfjwknfkwjdjwdjjed

-so if u decide to go out, he’ll take you to a very fancy and expensive restaurant and give u ur gift there

-if u decide to stay in he’ll bake a cake from scratch with you (those cute movie scenes where there’s like flour on both of ur faces)

-and then end the night watching a movie and falling asleep or birthday fuck, ur choice

Aether

-THIS MAN DOES NOT FORGET

-he’s just too busy he can’t spend the whole day with you

-BUT he takes you on commissions with him!!

-big mistake

-so u end up getting hurt and he has to take you to the nearest like hospital or whatever they have in that world

-he’ll probably just cry out of guilt because it’s ur birthday and part of his gift was that you practically almost die

-memorable birthday in my opinion

-birthday scar !!!

-he gives paimon a bunch of mora so she can go buy food and you both end up spending your birthday in the hospital

-hey at least he’s with you !!

-he acc crawls in the hospital bed beside you and your both just cuddling

-paimon is in the corner btw making sure y’all don’t do shit if ykyk

-once ur all better, he makes sure to take you out to dinner and get you an even better gift <3

Childe

-he forgets.

-not changing my mind.

-like I feel like ekaterina will have to remind him

“How is Y/N’a birthday so far?”

-insert jaw drop, shock face, eyes wide

-he will BURST out the bank and run straight to your shared home

-now you’ll be sad but like ur choice if u wanna cry or be mad

-if ur crying on the bed he’ll sit beside you and start kissing u all over ur face and saying he’s sorry and sorry all over again while whispering endearments

-if ur mad he’ll let himself be a punching bag

-he ENCOURAGES u to slap him but you only punch him playfully

-he’ll take you out and get you the most EXPENSIVE jewelry like literal fucking diamonds

-if u even want u can spend it with Zhongli too

-he just wants to make sure you have the best day just minus the fact he literally forgot

-he’ll take u in a trio to Snezhnaya or anywhere in the world just for you to forgive him

Cyno

-ladies and gents and my non-binary friends….

-he doesn’t forget!!!

-he acc has it all planned out- where you wanna celebrate is your decision

-if you wanna adventure around? Go for it! He’ll be with you and protect you from any monsters

-you wanna stay in? he’ll buy every movie you love and you’ll do a movie spree

-u wanna party ? Even on short notice he’ll Invite everyone hours before and youll all be having fun in the bazaar

-nonetheless he just wants you to have fun- it’s your day after all

-he has a lot of money, he just didn’t know what to get you, so if there’s any free time he’ll let you go around and buy whatever you want

-at the end of the day he’ll cuddle up to you and omg HE’LL LIKE whisper the happy birthday song to you as you drift off to sleep and idk why but that’s so cute to me

Scaramouche/Wanderer

-guys I’m just gonna say Scaramouche cuz for this he’s still working for Fatui but he is very ooc and soft (wanderer personality kinda)

-so sorry friends but the man literally doesn’t even know it’s your birthday month

-I think Childe will remind him by asking how your bday day is so far and Scaramouche will be like fuck

-Childe will def kaugh at him for forgetting but out of kindness he’ll tell Scaramouche what to do

-Scaramouche will race home and he’ll kiss u and shit hug u and apologize while saying he’ll do anything to make it up to you

-ANYTHING.

-you guys are in Snezhnaya and there’s not much to do but you decide to go ice skating !!

-you’ll have to teach him cuz he can’t skate for life

-he’ll encourage you to just take his mora or card or wtv and buy whatever you want cuz like

-he’s loaded

-you just decide to go buy some food aka hot chocolate to warm up. Maybe some snacks if you wanna watch movies that night

-he does buy you a cake though so when your home he can light it up

-he’ll sing the bday song while hugging you from behind and when it comes to your age he’ll blow out the candles with you then kiss u on the cheek

-UGH

[akiraruru]

Would you love me if I was a lamp?!

Included: multiple

Content warning/s: none

A/n: I HATE math, our math exam only allows us to answer for 1 HOUR MF DIDNT EVEM LET ME FINISH IT I DIDNT EVEN GET TO SOLVE THAT LAST 2 PROBLEMS BCS OF IT. Anyway new layout, not using the genre thingy anymore

I would love you no matter what you are, dear.

ZHONGLI, Diluc (?), THOMA, KAZUHA

I can't find myself loving a lamp.

Tighnari, AL HAITHAM

No.

AL HAITHAM, Diluc, wanderer/scaramouche (?)

Why would you ask that? Is it because you're in-lamped with me? (Get it in-lamped, inloved? Yeah no that was bad)

CYNO, Venti

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