#genshin crack fic

[the-white-void]

Scriptor De Re

~Synopsis: The Traveler is known for their grand accomplishment throughout Teyvat, but who pulls the strings behind the scenes.

~Note: The concept of reader is similar to how Veliona is with Seele (both characters from Honkai impact 3rd).

The Traveler roams around Teyvat to find the end of their journey with the help of a floating child who calls herself Paimon. They have gained strength and power from their journey, more so than the normal adventurer. Could it be because they are a descender? Or do the elements react differently with them? Or maybe... something... or someone else helping them, not seen under the normal eye.

This world is but a game to you, no? Everything is under your will. You just need to follow to the end you made. Guide what you had started from beginning to end. Fill the sad void in your heart.

There are often times when passers-by see the Traveler mumbling questions and statements to themselves and seem to receive an answer in return. Some people thought they had a special communication device while others thought they went nuts from stress. Although, what the traveller sees would either give them a guided path or the nightmare that would consume their world.

"[name]? Do you think these 'stats' on the brooch would help me" the traveller mutters while holding a flower brooch from the Maiden's Beloved set.

"No no, your kit isn't built for healing; it has decent stats for a Barbara, so you might wanna give it to her" the distorted voice responded with a sigh.

"What makes it good for her specifically?" the blonde whispers questionably and waits for their voice to answer.

"Barbara scales off her healing from health, which the Maiden's set gives, and the substats there increase her health stats even more" the voice mumbles tiredly.

"[name], you sound tired, do you need some rest?" they stood as the distorted voice groans "Yeah, I am; imma just take quick power nap, you do what you want while I'm at that" it said as the feeling of power slowly fades, then the traveller finds a place to eat.

"I can't believe they added a new interact mode" you muttered to yourself as you allow the soft sheets and pillows to cuddle you while you drift to sleep.

You were woken by the sounds of bustling streets, not that of cars honking at each other, but rolling carts and yells and chatter from people using some terms you weren't very familiar with "what the heck's going on?" you thought to yourself while picking yourself up from the ground next to the traveller... THE TRAVELLER?!! You turn to see the Traveller snoring in the bed with Paimon drooling next to them "so. I'm in Genshin now... I dunno if that's a good thing" you mutter.

The sound of muffled mumbling tickled the ears of the traveller to rise from their bed to find a figure at the edge of their bed muttering indecipherable words, with a voice they're quite familiar with.

The sound of muffled mumbling tickled the ears of the traveller to rise from their bed to find a figure at the edge of their bed muttering indecipherable words, with a voice they're quite familiar with "[name]?" they mumble while drool drips down their face as they see a figure mimicking the body of a human.

While they try to register the person in front of them as the figure steps away looking as shocked as they were. Paimon wakes up from the smell of food cooking from the window "Traveller, you cooking something tasty?~ WHO IS THAT!!?" She yells in surprise at the messy figure at the end of the bed.

"You see it too?" The reveller questioned the small Paimon as he thought only they could see the figure.

"Wait! I can explain. Not really. But I'm not here for trouble." You try to defend yourself with your hands up as your voice begins to distort.

I'm not done with this.

[driftawayomnichord]

Genshin characters react to you sleeping on the floor (_ _).｡o○

This is just pure fluff, teeth rotting, sleep deprived fluff with some crack. No need for warnings other than the fact this isn’t proof read (-_-)zzz (Kaeya, Diluc, Wriothesley, Zhongli)

*THUD*

Kaeya

Chilly, it’s a bit too chilly for spring. A little ironic Kaeya can’t handle the cold, but there he is shifting in his sleep trying to get warm under to covers. Reaching over to the other side of the bed to get his personal heater to warm him up, he notices that his hand doesn’t reach his lover’s body. In fact he doesn’t feel anything, not even your pillow. Still exhausted and half asleep he calls out for you but no answer.

Standing up and rubbing his eyes he gets up thinking you must’ve went downstairs for some reason. Heading down the stairs he feels sleepy but determined to get you upstairs he continues walking still freezing. Getting to the kitchen he looks around and…

“Why did i come here…” Kaeya asked himself out loud and stayed there, in complete darkness not moving whatsoever. Two minutes of standing still, staring at the wall he gives up trying to remember why he got down and started heading back to his bedroom.

Walking through the door of the shared room he then finally notices. You’re not in bed.

“Must be downstairs getting water…” he thought and laid down.

…

“I was JUST in the kitchen!” He suddenly understood the meaning of the visit to the kitchen. But where are you?? He suddenly jumped from the bed and shouted your name, now slightly concerned.

“Huh- what? Where?” You jump up from the ground…from the other side of the bed, still clutching one of your pillows you brought down when you slid off the bed and hit the ground. Somehow not waking up.

Kaeya looked towards the source of the sound, puzzled for a moment, blue eyes staring down at you, head barely visible from the disheveled bed sheets.

“How…how long have you been there?” He asked, voice raspy from just waking up for the second time.

“I have no idea..” you said looking around yourself on the floor.

“You scared me for a moment there…don’t do that again.”

“You think i fell on purpose or what??”

(( _ _ ))..zzzZZ

Diluc

Having a not so pleasant dream about dealing with drunkards in Angel Share, Diluc woke up from a sudden loud Thud sound.

Jolting up he looked around the dark room, at first not noticing anything until he looked over to the other side of the bed, not seeing you there…? In his half asleep brain the only logical explanation that popped up is a fatui attack. And they must’ve taken you away as revenge. At least that’s what he thought in that very moment.

Jumping out of the bed he summoned his claymore and prepared to head out of the bedroom to look for you and end fatui lives. He very carefully opened the door to his room as to not alert the nonexistent enemy, and poked his head out to scan his surroundings. Not noticing or hearing any other sound he headed down the staircase as silent as he can be.

Oddly enough to him, he didn’t see a single soul anywhere in the winery. He decided to walk up to the door and check the lock, thinking they must’ve headed out, when suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Turning around he ignited his great sword and pointed it at-…you?

“Whoa…ok- me snoring sometimes isn’t reason enough to end me is it?”

“I- i thought…the fatui- wait where did you come from? You weren’t in bed. Are you ok?? Did they hurt you?!” He was looking at you, still unable to connect the dots but obviously concerned for your wellbeing. Unusual for the great master Diluc to be seen in such state.

“Actually, i fell.”

“Fell…?”

“I was on the floor, heard a noice and saw you being…weird. Also, the fatui were here?” You say now slightly worried.

“Let’s go back to bed, i will explain tomorrow.”

“So you won’t point swords at me anymore?” That comment earned a side-eye.

(( _ _ ))..zzzZZ

Wriothesley

On the rare occasions Wriothesley is able to get out the Fortress of Meropede and visit you he would always sleepover. A part of that experience is you not being able to settle down in bed and just twist and turn like a raccoon stuck in a trash can. But Wriothesley is fine with that, finds it slightly funny even.

On this particular night it’s no different, after 40 minutes of not being able to find a good spot to sleep in bed you decide that perhaps the bed itself is the issue. So the only obvious solution is plopping on top of the Duke and using him as a mattress.

After 30 minutes of complete silence, both of you finally drifted off to sleep when very slowly you start sliding off him to the side of the floor, dragging both him, the bed sheets and a pillow along. And no one noticed until mid air you wake up, but alas too late to save yourselves.

Thud

“You’re…crushing me-“

Wriothesley shifts a bit, not exactly realising what happened, somehow doesn’t wake up- until he feels a slap on his arm.

“aIR- OFF OF ME!” You whisper yell at him.

“Oh, my apologies.” He gets up from you and stands up still a little confused. You stand up as well and dust yourself off, rubbing your head thanks to you hitting it on the night stand on the way down.

“You ok there?” Asked the Duke jokingly, grabbing your hand away from the spot you’ve been rubbing in an attempt to soothe it a bit and checking it.

“I don’t know which is worse…the concussion or getting crushed by a full Clockwork Meka. I might not make it after this.” You exclaim dramatically, putting your hand up on your head as if you’d faint any second now.

“Oh, but of course, we should take care of your life threatening injuries as fast as we can. Shall i call for Sigewinne to assist?” He joked with you, now completely awake. “Or maybe even start preparations for your funeral?”

(( _ _ ))..zzzZZ

Zhongli

Sometimes even a king sized bed isn’t enough for some, a great example - the dead geo archon, who when in a half human half adeptus form takes up almost the whole damn bed.

Especially that damn tail. Don’t get me wrong, you love it, it’s very fluffy and warm, but you swear it has a mind of its own. It sometimes just decides that it should push you off the bed, and the past 2 weeks that has happened…Every. Single. Night.

You’ve debated with yourself if you should just tell Morax that in his sleep he his tail attempts to end you on a monthly basis. But he seemed so comfortable in this form you decided against it and that maybe enduring the attitude of his tail is bearable.

So after a long day you finally head off to bed, not because you really need it as a god, it simply helps calm your nerves. Finally you drifted off to dreamland, where people can’t bother you at least for the time being. At least that’s what you hoped.

Upon Zhongli’s return home he starts to look for you and after a moment he spots you in the corner of his eye, you were taking a nap. He heads towards your shared bed, picks up a blanket and drapes it over your sleeping form. Staring at you for a moment before he decides on joining you in your nap time.

2 hours later you wake up from the impact of hitting the floor…and that was your last straw.

Zhongli as well wakes up from the sudden THUMP sound and notices you on the ground- absolutely fuming.

“IN OUR 3400 YEARS TOGETHER I’VE NEVER HAD THE URGE TO THROW YOU IN THE SEA SO BADLY I SWEAR!”

“What are you talking about-“ Zhongli gapes at you, shaken from your tone.

“THAT.” You point towards his tail. “That THING has been pushing me off the bed for decades. Actually that’s an understatement- CENTURIES! I will move to the desert i cannot stand this anymore!”

Zhongli finally realises why you’ve always preferred being on the opposite side of his tail. All this time together he has been the reason you cannot properly rest, which leads for guilt to wash over him.

“I truly apologise, I shall do my best from now on to refrain from bothering you with my tail and I promise to you that I am going to make up for this. You know i would never disturb you in your sleep on purpose, right?” He began apologising and explaining himself. Getting up from the bed he headed towards you and enveloped his arms and tail around you.

“Ugh…I cannot stay mad at you. But if this happens one more time you will sleep in Guili Plains from then on out.” You say without a single hint of joking in your tone.

*Gulp*

First ever one-shot, also first post here ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶ Should I make another part?

[rockingbytheseaside]

✦ You are found guilty

(Neuvillette sentences you for your horrible crimes. That's it. sfw)

“It saddens me to announce this… But you leave me with no choice. I shall render the final verdict.” 

The Iudex of Fontaine stood before you, tall and regal with his imposing gaze of impartiality. With a solemn clearing of his throat, he prepared to deliver the ultimate decision. “In light of the evidence provided, and the gravity of your actions, I shall announce the final judgment.”

“N-no… Your honor, Please,” - you whispered, shaking your head in disbelief at what will come. Your hands came clasping together, a silent plea for mercy.

“According to the judgment of Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale…”

“I beg you, d-don’t.”

“... The court finds the defendant guilty.” 

The court fell silent, as the words of the Chief Justice echoed throughout the hall. The silent witnesses of your case were immobile, and no one was here to defend your sins. You clenched your fists, your gaze searching Neuvillette’s despairing one. 

“But monsieur, I am telling you, I am innocent. Look, I have a child!”

Another silence bestowed upon the room. Neuvillette cleared his throat and in the same eloquent tone of formality interjected. Although it took him a great deal not to break out of character - “My dear. For the last time, a four-foot Otter plushie cannot constitute adequate evidence of being a child.” 

You sulked. Had this been a true courthouse, the onlookers would have shaken their heads in disbelief at your feeble attempt to feign innocence. But there were no living spectators in this courthouse. In fact, you and your beloved were not even in the Opera Epiclese. In reality, it was the sanctuary of your home, and the so-called eyewitnesses were your countless pillows or plushies that blocked Neuvillette from hugging you at night when you monopolized the bed with them.

“After careful and thorough consideration, the court has determined that you shall be sentenced to... “ - Neuvillette paused for the dramatics. “An eternity of cuddles and kisses provided by the Iudex himself.”

“Have mercy on me, Neuvi. I used the Otter plushie as a pillow and fell asleep once, it’s not like I forgot to give you a goodnight kiss on purpose, honey.” 

But of course, your beloved would not let such deeds go unpunished. That’s how your life was with him, along with the endless ‘legal jokes’. Neuvillette's professional life demanded impartiality and severity in accordance with the law, but at home, in the comfort of your arms, all formality dissipated. For his sanity, he relished returning home where his need to physically bury his face onto your chest was systematic. All you need to do is either caress his silver hair, embrace him in bed, or give him a loving kiss - it doesn’t matter, he is already a puddle of a dragon in your arms.

However, dare to forget your nightly cuddles and it will rain heavily outside out of the blue.  

“I am afraid the decision is final, dear. No chance of parole, either.” - He sat beside you, arms warped around your form to envelop your face in much-needed kisses. He peppers gentle pecks on your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, anything to reach the quota of the skipped smooches you neglected him. 

“Aw, man. Not even on good behavior?”

“Absolutely not. The court renounces your plushie rights for the upcoming nights.”

It appears that if one yearned for a large Otter to embrace, they may have had one right by their side all along.

[water-to-drink]

Diluc In Snezhnaya (Sagau edition)

(Characters): Diluc, Tsarita, & Sandrone

(Synopsis): Snezhnaya just released but you’re not taking Diluc out of your team

(Tags/Warnings): Foul language, painfully short, crack fic, reader’s unhinged, not beta read, (if I missed anything lmk)

(Word Count): 200

(A/n): If this do good then I might make a part 2

Rapid footsteps echo throughout the hall of the palace before stoping

“Your majesty, they’re here! They just entered the city walls.”

A low ranking Fatui agent bursted through the door of the grand meeting hall of the palace

“Who’s here?” The Tsarita asked

“Their Grace and Diluc Ragnvindr…” The agent said

The Tsarita and her harbingers walk towards the window that overlooked the city just to see a familiar redhead climbing a building

“Imma take ya eggs, thanks.” They all heard you say and continued to watch you in curiosity. “What that bitch the Tsarita gonna do?!” You began your rant. “If she’s really that pressed about me being here, then she can say it to my face!!” You yelled out making the people nearby look either horrified or confused. “And don’t bring the Fatui, don’t bring the harbingers, and don’t bring out Pierro! I want that blonde bitch to come out here and say it to me and everybody here!”

“I think we should leave them be…” Sandrone cautioned as she watched you and the man set fire to a wooden crate

“Just doing some cleaning for you!” You said

[totallynotcoffeeturtle]

Head Spinner

Masterlist

(From the 6th to 30th April, I am having a mini 100 follower milestone event!)

Tags: fluff, crack Summary: Wanderer has quite a unique trait that you can't help but notice

Sometimes, just sometimes, and you swear you are not the only one to notice this, but Wanderer is capable of turning his head way more than any human should be able to. And you understand, he has already told you that he is a puppet when you confessed to him (probably to scare you away), but your mind still can’t help but wonder if his head would actually spin when slapped with enough force. You are very sure he would get angry if you ask, though. However, fortune comes to those who are patient and you are one of them. On your usual date in the outskirts of Sumeru city, an anemo slime rushes at Wanderer while he is trying to explain to you the hierarchy of Inazuma (and how to topple it legally, like you are going to do that). You try to warn him but the slime attacks faster than your words and bounces right at his head- And it spins like a pinwheel meeting strong wind. You ward off the enemy quickly but still can’t help but laugh by the end. Wanderer has to stop the spinning manually with a grimace while you lose it on the ground. He grumbles annoyedly and kicks at your trembling figure on the ground, “Oi, don’t laugh at other people’s struggles, idiot.” You just wipe away a fake tear as you sit up on the ground and immediately show off the ring on your middle finger, “But I’m your idiot~!”

A/N: crack fic borne from (maybe) popular demand and my inability to think at midnight <333

Taglist: @amyminhminh @w4llwoo (if you want to be tagged, just say 'tag me' or smth like that~)

[asmoslverboy]

A moment of curiosity: Dottore. (male!reader) (also, not very serious of a fic.)

"So, you're basically saying that you killed a previous lover?" You ask him, furrowing your eyebrows. You weren't as scared as you were amazed. Intrigued, perhaps? I mean, not only did he manage to make a woman fall in love with him whlist his reputation was below the rocks— he also took her out on a date and killed her. And on top of that, he made it look like wild animals committed all those unspeakable crimes to her.

Dottore simply looks at you, his head cocked to the side, his lip curled as if he was two steps away from inviting you in his bed. "It is wonderful, is it not? I must admit, it was not one of my easiest feats back in the day, nor one of the most... rational ones, however, the reactions I recieved— nay, the situation received— were quite the satisfactory ones."

"So what you're telling me is that you were an impulsive, little attention seeker?"

"That's not quite what i–" Dottore stopped mid sentence, suddenly the correspondence of your words hitting him like a bunch of bricks that were caught up in a hurricane.

"This is not– there is no need to dwell on my past acts, my darling boy. They are not relevant to the current me in any shape, way, or form." He cleared his throat. "And she wasn't my lover, moreso just someone who happened to experience college crushes through my image."

With that, you sat on his lap, as you often did. "Would you have killed me, too, if I was in her place?" You were unserious in that matter, obviously, though Dottore seemed to take your question in the unintended sense.

"Entirely depends on how you'd have been in her place. If you were to simply act like her, with the only difference being your appearance; then I'm afraid the outcome would have been no different. However, if you were one who crushed on me in my days at the Akademiya, and you approached said crush as you did in our actual past, I'm certain that we'd have ended up in a similar position as we are now"

Does this man ever take breaths as speaks?

"Besides, my little prince, how would it be possible that you took her place, in order for that to—..."

Perhaps you should have never asked. Unfortunately for you, and for any passing by his office, he would not stop yapping about the scientific possibilities of the scenario you suggested.

[ukiyoq34]

texts with genshin gang

I’m not doing that whole text pic thing cus I’m lazy but I wanted to do this cus man some people make these guys get so out of character when it comes to this typa stuff

synopsis; asking them for the homework/copy their homework / reader has no pronouns or any specific gender/ can be seen either platonic or romantic whatever you feel like/ paring Xiao, scara, Kazuha, heizou, Tartaglia, and Lyney

-Scara/wanderer

“Bro I need your help”

*read*

“??? bro help”

*read*

“answer i know ur ass is there”

“tf you want now”

“I need help with hw”

“no”

“boy 💀”

*read*

-Heizou

“bro can you help me real quick?”

“sure”

“i didn’t do the homework I need help”

“u sure you need help or do you just wanna copy?”

“is copy and option”

“nah😂”

“Js Help me dawg 😭🙏”

“Lmao get on call and I’ll help you”

“thanks dawg 😘”

“smh wish that kiss was real😒”

“GET OUT!!🤬🗣️”

-Xiao

“Xiao”

“yeah”

“can I copy your homework please🙏🙏🙏”

“I’ll help you but I won’t let you copy”

“WHY?? PLEASE BRO I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THAT 😭😭”

“you have a lot of time I know you do”

“😒😒😒”

“it’s easy dw”

“do I get a kiss if I finish it”

“No??”

“just say you want me dead💔💔”

“😐”

-Childe/Tartaglia

“bro can you send me the hw”

“girl.. WHAT??”

“WDYM WHAT?? DID U NOT DO IT?? 😭”

“I HAD PRACTICE IM THE LAST PERSON YOUSHOULD BE ASKING 😭😭”

“oh my GOD”

“girl don’t give me that attitude 😒😒”

“who is this DIVA”

-Kazuha

“Kazuhakazuhakauzhakauhzhshajakuh”

“yes??”

“did you do the homework”

“yes I did”

“can I PLEASE PLEASE copy your work”

“did you procrastinate it again?”

“yes😓😓”

“alright but try not to make this a habit okay?”

“I know I’m sorry 😢😢 but thanks 🙏🙏🙏🙏”

“Np👍”

-Lyney

“Lyneyyyyyyyyy yayyayag”

“Yeah??”

“Did you do the r homework???”

“yes I did do you need to copy”

“YES 😭🙏”

“here 😘😘”

*attatchment 4 images* “You’re a real one THANK YOU🙏🙏”

“Love you too 😘🤑”

“Love the confidence you have!! Keep it up!”

“☹️”

[wanderingconstellations]

"I miss writing." You muttered, looking at your laptop that's resting on your desk. God, you wanted to write so bad, but you don't feel like it either. Whenever you sat down and— get ready to write, nothing comes in mind. It's like whenever you decide to write, your thoughts simply just dissolves and disappears like air.

You groaned in frustration as you struggled to come up with a single idea. None pops up. You don't feel the motivation, it doesn't feel the same. You feel exhausted just by taking a seat in your chair. Unbelievable, right?

"Why don't you just write then?" A voice from behind brings you back to Earth, a familiar voice that always sends butterflies into your stomach. You turned to look at the man, eyes staring directly back at his own. God, you sometimes forget how handsome this man could be.

"What do you know? I can't just write without a plot!" You utter, clicking your tongue in annoyance. Really, you can't. It just doesn't feel right. Without plot, how are your readers going to understand your writings?

Ah, stupid question.

They wouldn't understand without an explanation of what's going on, obviously.

"You think too much. Probably why your brain is all fried."

His words made you groan in response. He's can be such a sarcastic bitch, but he wasn't wrong. You probably overthink too much. Like your followers, requests, studies and how people think of you. Pathetic, really.

"You're right, I guess."

"You guess?" He asks, raising brow. Internally, the way he's looking at you is making you sigh dreamily. "Let me help. I'm not as skilled as you, but I might as well spare ideas." He continues as a sly smirk grows on his lips.

"wait. WAIT. WHAT'S WITH THAT SMIRK ON YOUR FACE?!"

—— SCARAMOUCHE, KAEYA, WRIOTHESLEY, cyno, kaveh, CHILDE, ayato, SAMPO, jing yuan + ANY OF YOUR FAVES 🫶

------

Continue the end with your imagination 🤭

I tried, and decided to end it here. I haven't written in such a long time, sad really. Thank you for my friend for lending me her laptop to use. Mine was accidentally spilled with coffee (sadly). Accidents happen though. It's fine. Hopefully I can get back writing more <3

[vi0let-writes]

Alright then, may I request Cyno, Xiao and AlHaitham. S/o pranking them, you know that one period prank girlfriend do on their boyfriend?, telling them to go by her some pads with wings. To see what they actually get for her (like would they actually understand the assignment or actually got her pads with Chiken wings thinking that's what s/o meant) or even told them to buy non-existent feminine products for example "help me buy the Super Jumbo Tampons with Wings✨✨✨" that kind of stuff. This is just crack request, wanting to trick these innocent stoic guys hehe~ 😈😈😈 this can be a modern au if you want

The dividers I used are here

thank you SM for the request!!!! This is such a silly idea! There is a screenshot of the messages for each one, and then a written part below, so make sure you don’t miss that!

characters: Alathiam, Cyno, Xiao

includes: Crack, fluff

Alhathiam

“I’m home” Alhathiams voice sounds as he walked through the front door. He made his way into the living room, where you sat on the couch, reading a book. You looked up, seeing your boyfriend with a shopping bag in one hand, and a takeout box in the other.

“oh! Did you get me food too? You’re so sweet!” You cheered happily. He rose his eyebrows confused.

“yeah, the wings you wanted?” He confirmed, his face obviously filled with confusion. You paused for a moment, before realizing that he misinterpreted the request, you then started crackling out in laughter.

“y-you.. thought I mean.. HAhAhaHa! Chicken wings?!” You wheezed out.

“what..?”

“let me see the pads you got.” He nodded, handing you the package over. “Baby, look, here on the package, it says ‘winged’ that’s what I meant” you giggled, taking one out and showing him. “Here, these flaps wrap around to keep them in place.” He looked utterly embarrassed.

“yeah.. I knew that.. I- I.. uh just wanted food..” he tried to play it off.

“it’s okay! I’ll go get these put away and then we can cuddle and eat these!” Alhathiam nodded, ears still red.

Xiao

“Love” a voice suddenly appeared behind you, causing you to jump.

“Xiao! Hi” you sighed out. He fell into your arms, face hiding away from you.

“I’ve failed you..” he grumbled out. “I couldn’t find the feminin product you requested.” You laughed, feeling kinda bad.

“it’s okay sweetie, I was just joking with you! Now I feel bad…” you ran your hands gently through his hair.

“what.. why? I went to 5 different places,people staring at me rummaging through things, and being sad for a silly prank? You have no respect for the Adepti..” he huffed, letting go of you and crossing his arms.

“no Xiao! I’m sorry.. come here, we can cuddle.” You apologized. He just rolled his eyes.

“fine.. only for a bit. I’m a busty person.”

Cyno

Cyno trudged through the front door, and to you in a hurry, 3 bags in his hands. When he came bursting through your bedroom door, your eyes widened in concern.

“Cy, what?” You questioned.

“I’m sorry, I took so long because I went to like 10 places trying to find the ones you mentioned; but I couldn’t… so I just got a bunch of them, you could stack them!” He reasoned, putting the bags down on the bed, revealing MANY boxes of pads. Your eyes widened again in surprise, before you laughed.

“Cy, you don’t stack them for one, also I was pranking you..” your smile was wide. He was quite for a second.

“oh.. haha, darling, I left work! For a prank?!” He sighed. ”what? You could have said that you were working!” A frown appeared on your face.

“hmm, it’s okay, but what do we do with all of these?” He motioned to the pads.

“I’ll use those eventually.” You bummed out a response. “Why don’t we play TCG to make up for it” Cyno pondered your proposal.

”I suppose I could take the rest of the day off”

Hope this was good!

you can leave requests in the “ask me anything”

my list of fandoms is pinned in my blog.

[the-white-void]

Unbounded by the Trivial

You are an imposter but you don’t really care about anything anymore so you just let it be, it’s not like if you try hard enough you could change it.

You had a normal life and whatever happened you just let it be, “it is what it is” was your motto in life, so if there’s anything you don’t have control over, you wouldn’t go out of your way to change it.

And so after your mind was blown off you woke up in genshin impact and let your holy luck deal with what kind of situation you would end up in.

Oh lo and behold the Knights have swarmed you with weapons and blockaded your surroundings “Welp, I ain’t surviving this shit” you thought in your mind, the acting grandmaster marched through the crowd of knights while you simply stayed on the ground looking at everyone’s feet “you have committed high treason for impersonation of the divine one” her voice boomed across the field “you imprisoned until the gods of the nation’s decide what to do with you” as she readied her blade preparing for an attempt of your escape “ok” was all yet happened, you a criminal with unknown punishment simply just letting it happen?

The blade still in hand in belief that you were bluffing, you stood up with hands upfront “So what are you waiting for?” This move stunned the crowd as the Knight in front of you cuffed your hands with a puzzled face.

Taken to the dungeons of Mondstat you just waited while trying to chat with the guards and entertain yourself with their reactions, some were repellent against you, some were hesitant to reply, and some even turned into a therapy session.

It didn’t take long for the true creator to know of your arrival and then immediately start planning how they will greet their precious baby in their palace.

The archons rarely meet one another and especially all 7 of them in the same room and here they are because of you. It all started awkwardly since no one knew how to start this off, after some time the silence was broken by Zhongli “So it seems we all agree that something needs to be done with the imposter” he said looking suspiciously at the Tsaritsa “If you all agree?” he questioned, all of them nodded in agreement “so then what would you like to suggest then?” the dendro archon asked the other gods, the anemo archon quickly jumped up “a simple public execution would suffice their grace won’t it?” the green bard suggested but some were hesitant.

Therefore the hydro archon proposed a vote, those who wish for the undertaking of the imposter were to raise their right hand, and those who opposed were to raise their left. 4 raised their right hand, Zhongli, Venti, Ei, and Murata all agreed to punish the imposter by taking their life, and 2 presented their left hand in a debate against the option which was from the dendro and hydro archon, many were shocked by the god of justice going against the idea.

“Why would you of all people go against this?” Ei stood up and asked her in disbelief “Well serving unjust justice is no different than committing a crime and based on what I’ve heard they don’t seem to be doing anything wrong” she stated as the Tsaritsa cut her off “Your reasoning lacks evidence, as you said you’ve only heard it” her tone cold and stern sticking a nerve on the hydro archon “that’s funny coming from someone who chose no side and that is exactly why I wish to see for my self who this imposter really is if you’d allow me barbatoes” to which he approved.

The Divine overseer of teyvat ignored all their duties and continuously daydreamed about how their reunion would go as they decorated their place on all your desires with a joyous smile.

A few days pass until the God of Justice arrived in the city of freedom where the imposter was held imprisoned. Upon entering faint voices were heard from where they were supposed to be detained but when she arrived expecting a violent prisoner but saw a knight shedding tears at a figure behind bars gently patting their head and mouthing words she could not decipher.

The knight saw the high figure then quickly wiped their tears and greeted them with their voice croaking “Your majesty, welcome to Mondstat, the imposter is held here” They gestured to your cell while you were limped on the bars looking at the god before you “so are you here to kill me?” this question was unexpected from someone with the face the deity that sees all “no but I am here for answers, specifically from you” she glowered at you “although I am against just killing you for no apparent reason other than looking like them I do have to know your intentions. Now tell” as she motions the guards to leave

You sigh and tell them what you know including some hints about your world.

“So you tell me you are from another world where this world is implemented as a game where everything is recorded as a story for people all over your world”

“Yep”

“I see… am I any good?”

“huh?”

“You did say all of teyvat became a game in your world so what did you think of me?”

“I don’t know, you weren’t in it yet”

A disappointed sigh left her lips while you were confused. “As much as what you have told me does seem farfetched, how do you expect me to believe this?” your expression was all drained from thinking about what you’ve been doing with your life “Believe what you want to believe, it ain’t really my problem”

“Aren’t you a little too pessimistic?”

“It’s from experience and from that I just gave up on controlling things that are out of control”

The hydro archon stood up to leave the saddening aura of the room “You are one weak soul aren’t you” she said before she left “I am… and pathetic”

Out of the dungeon waiting for the god of justice were the other six archons waiting for what was information about the imposter.

“What did you find out about them?” the god of freedom taunted “Nothing? I bet they wouldn’t even talk to you”

“They looked lost and defeated, but what they said is unbelievable… but possible”

“Sympathy from you? They must be lucky?” the war wretched god teased

“Well, what did they say?” the wisdom-thirsty deity asked

“That is not necessary, 4 to 2 when we decided if they are to be executed for the public and for their grace” the former geo archon imposed on the group.

Not long when the execution day had come when your head was locked in a guillotine, you were shaking no your body was but you just stayed still as your tears ran down your face.

After decorating their palace and planning how you two will be with each other and replaying all these scenarios in their head they finally descend upon the lands of teyvat but it was quiet… and silent and they finally realized that they have not checked up on the people for some time and saw what was to happen, nothing but rage was all they could feel as they dashed through the wind to find you

Your head was cut but you did not die, you were wide awake while looking at your headless body, it did not have muscles or bones, it was like a tip bucked with golden blood being spilt across the floor, you tried to stand up and so did your body and it worked like it was normal.

Many were horrified by the blood they had spilt, divine blood, but you simply picked up your head and lifted it above your head

“Holy smokes dude, this cut is insane, shoutout to my barber daug”

Then the earth began to rumble and the winds and thunders covered the sky before the Divine Deity you’ve heard of appears before you, several thoughts came swirling down your head until you dropped then the creator’s face turned to worry as they trembled from the sound of your head clashing with the ground, it didn’t take long for your head blood to run out where you fainted.

You woke up in the arms of the creator snuggling you close to their arms humming a lullaby you are unfamiliar with “Oh, you’re awake, are feeling any better? Do you need me to get something?” Their words going through one ear out the other “Are you that god they talkin' about?” “Yes but no need for such formalities my dear child” their tone giving off the feeling ling clouds “So you are like my parent now?” “I always have been” You were beyond confused but you’ll ask about it later.

“Ok, but what happened to uh.. the hydro archon?” You were curious about her since��that day “She’s imprisoned like the others” “but she didn’t do anything” “Oh, I see very well then I’ll get her”.

She was released shortly after and she thanked you for your generosity but you simply wish for a chat every now and then, the Tsaritsa was also released since she was merely listening for information

[heartsforscara]

“call me back?”

in the wanderer’s eyes, you are amicable, beautiful, and soft with a backbone. he loves you with his whole heart, albeit not the kind of love people fantasize about. love is not fluffy and all giddy emotions or warm hearts to him. love is painful. love is eating him alive.

in his opinion, he is none of those. he is rotten at heart, his is ugly, with scratches on his porcelain like skin spiraling upwards on his limbs, and he is so rude that his words pierce. he fears he will sully you, terrified he is but an impurity in your life who will taint you.

he refuses to let that happen. so no, he cannot give in, cannot admit to you that his pining over you has been brutally murdering him, your soft words skewering him again and again, annoyingly creating a hole in his heart only a certain someone can fill. he will swallow the words he wishes to say every single time, the three words he had practised in the mirror countless times compressed into nothing but ashes to rise from the dust the text time.

and the excruciating process has repeated once twice, three times. a science experiment should be repeated 3 times to ensure reliability, they say. is he so incompetent that he still cannot arrive at a conclusion even after the 3 repetitions?

he cannot fathom why he can’t let go of you. he knows fully well why he likes you— your perfects make up a whole list. but he is the villain. he is trying to change. he should at least not be so ridiculously selfish as to try to keep you all for himself. he breathes.

to him, you remain sui generis even in a crowd. their voices form a cacophony of ignorant fools babbling their incompetent minds away. your voice is what he describes as “grating” or “downright suffocating”, but the opposite is true, and he plays your voice on repeat in your head.

his reticent nature is one you know all too well, and yet you can tell how he truly feels. you notice his fleeting glances at you from across the room, his longing gaze not escaping you. you had wanted to express your feelings countless times, but you remind yourself; he is healing. you will wait.

but alas, a little push never hurt anyone. he is wont to your teasing nature, so when you call him, he does not think too much of it.

“kiyoshi! hi!”

Kiyoshi. the name you had bestowed upon him. it had brought him unbridled joy and confusion when he had first heard it, and to this day it still does. kiyoshi, ironically, means pure and soundless.

pure.

why would someone ever think he was pure? after all the things he’s done, all the lying, the killings, the crimes-

he breaks his train of thought.

“… [name]. hey. what’s going on?” his voice had an underlying tone of worry— he was always far too cautious for his own good.

“nothing. just wanted to ask you something.”

a pause, and none of you spoke, leaving an awkward silence.

“hello? are you… not going to ask the question?”

“ah. well, I need to hang up now. sorry. I texted you the question. and im not accepting a text response!”

“huh?”

“BYE!”

——-

he stares at your text, incredulous. “Will you call me back tomorrow?”

shit. he’s falling far too deep into this rabbit hole, isn’t he?

——

the next day, he calls you. “hello?”

“oh! hey! I assume your answer is a yes?”

“No. my answer is no.” his voice has an edge to it, as if expressing his defiance.

he can hear chortles of laughter from your side. “kiyoshi, you’re so funny!”

he dismisses the comment, ignoring how his cheeks burn at the comment. not the good kind of burn- the kind of burn that leaves him gasping, needing more.

“shut up. anyways. why go through this wild goose chase? you called me just to ask me to call you? that’s stupid. get to the point, [name].”

you stifle a giggle. “I just wanted to hear your voice, kiyoshi. I can’t see you everyday, so I just wanted to let you know that your voice is really pretty. I’ll ask you another question on text today. remember to reply, only through calls!”

you hang up on him leaving him aching. if he had a heart, it would have squeezed itself so tight it would be left with nothingness. what gives you the right to make his chest clench, to make his knees buckle, to give him hopes of a rose-tinted future?

grumbling, he opens the text.

“will you call me back?”

[driftawayomnichord]

Genshin characters react to you sleeping on the floor - Part 2

Warning: not proof read; this is pure fluff and crack; (featuring Pantalone; Alhaitham; +Bonus: Jing Yuan)

*THUD*

Pantalone

Dealing with idiotic aristocracy is incredibly exhausting, sadly for Pantalone, that is a part of his everyday routine. Every day he goes into his office and has to stand their behaviour. So his favourite thing do to after a long day of work is to go back home and complain and gossip about said aristocrats. Usually be prefers to do that in bed, in your dark cozy room.

Today was no different, the moment he got home he rushed to find you and let all the built up frustration go. And so he did, at dinner, while getting ready for bed, in bed…he was particularly annoyed today it seems.

And after some time the pair naturally drifted off to sleep. That was until two hours later Pantalone woke up to get some water and after he had his drink he turned around with the intention to hug you.

Where are you.

He stood up and called for you - nothing. Went to check the bathroom - nothing. Living room - nothing. Dining room - nothing. The study - nothing. He went through every single room in that house to find absolutely nothing. Asked every servant if they have seen you - nothing.

He was left standing there, just completely puzzled as to what happened to you. And the first idea that came to his mind is one of his biggest fears. Maybe you never really loved him, were only using him for money and you were cheating on him.

While he wanted to avoid thinking about that possibility it just couldn’t escape his mind. He ordered some of the guards to go look for you around the city and decided to head to his bedroom.

Walking in he went towards the window, closer to your side of the bed when he suddenly hit his foot on-…something.

“Ouch- damn it.” Your voice rang.

He looked down and saw you…on the floor…glaring at him.

“Why did you hit me? What’s wrong with you?” You asked him annoyed. “I was sleeping.”

“You were…here.”

“It’s the middle of the night, of course I’m here, sleeping. Or at least was…”

“Why are you on the floor…” he questioned.

“I’m what-…why am I on the floor?”

He simply chuckled, picked you up, plopping you on your bed and laying down next to you. He shouldn’t have worried.

(( _ _ ))..zzzZZ

Alhaitham

Both of you were preparing to go to bed, brushing your teeth, hair, putting on some moisturiser (that you definitely don’t force Alhaitham to do). You were talking about your plans for tomorrow, or more like you complaining that you don’t want to bother tomorrow.

“After you are done with your presentation we will head out on a walk.” He suggested and headed out of the bathroom into the bedroom to finally relax his body, expecting you to follow him. But you didn’t?

“Are you coming?” He shouted.

You poked your head from the hallway into the bedroom and looked at him nervously. “I forgot about the presentation, you go ahead and sleep and I will join you later.” You told him and ran to the living room to prepare your presentation.

The next morning Alhaitham woke up and noticed that you never really went to bed. So he headed out into the living room to see if you fell asleep there but you weren’t on the couch. He could see documents and papers stacked on the table and the couch but you weren’t there.

He looked for you in the rest of the rooms and still nothing. So he had no other choice but to ask his roommate if h e had seen you.

“Kaveh, have you seen [Name] today or last night?” Alhaitham shouted through the door.

Kaveh opened it and looked at the scribe a little confused.

“Yeah, last night around 4 in the morning. They were in the living room writing something. Why?”

“Well, they are nowhere to be seen.”

“What- let me check.” Said Kaveh, not believing that you would just disappear.

He walked into the living room scanning it when he heard Alhaitham speak up from behind him.

“Do you really believe that I would just miss them?”

That’s when Kaveh’s eyes focused on something - you…on the floor under the table.

“Yes, I believe.” Kaveh replied, pointing at your direction.

Alhaitham walked up to you and called out for you, but you didn’t bulge. So he sighted and picked you up, carrying you into your shared room and plopping you in bed.

(( _ _ ))..zzzZZ

Bonus: Jing Yuan

After working the whole day, not having time to even lift his head up, Jing Yuan loves to just lay in bed under the warm covers with pillows all over the place, hugging his lover.

While there is nothing in the universe that can make him even consider skipping cuddle times, there is one thing that can make you. The scorching heat. It’s warm, and you can’t stand it.

So when you go into bed that night you know that you will have to fight your way into freedom. But he just kept dragging you over to him again and again.

“It’s hot as hell in here I cannot handle the heat, just let me gooo…” you keep on trying to fight him off of you.

“Relax a little and you will cool down.” He whined, just wanting to sleep already.

“Let me go! You are like a heater!” You complain as you try to crawl out of his grasp, but to no avail.

He just grumbled and buried his face into your hair. You stopped moving for a moment and sighed. That’s when you pulled the ultimate move - the tornado. You started spinning in the direction opposite of him and in the process pulling a bit of his hair causing him to let go.

Which wasn’t exactly calculated in your plan…you straight up rolled off the bed and onto poor mimi who was sleeping on the floor right next to the bed.

She jumped and looked at you as if prepared to attack until she recognised your face in the dark and calmed down.

Meanwhile Jing Yuan crawled over and peeked his head to see what happened and started laughing at you.

“Very funny, yes, ha ha. Mimi almost bit my head off.” You said sarcastically.

“Are you really going to blame me for this?”

I felt like another part was needed, but idk if I should continue with this series or start another one. I do know that us fatui fans have been starved of fanfics so maybe I should add even more of them?

And yes we did have a special guest in this one ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

[yiiofsh]

✦ . DATING ZHONGLI . ₊ ⊹

⌗ synopsis experiences with zhongli as your boyfriend

› content crack, gn!reader, headcannons

notes .ᐟ this was made as a joke for my friend ^_^

BF! ZHONGLI who makes u massgae his old ass back every night, saying that you're getting the wrong spot every five seconds of changing to his desired spot

"ah.. yes, just right there." he spoke out for the ten hundredth time. "wait, no.. move a little to the left." he said, though he said the opposite just a minute before. "(name).. why can't you get the spot right? it's not that hard. now move a little more down." these were the same sentences he would spillevery massage night.

BF! ZHONGLI who makes you help crack his granny ass back, because how could he move around and spend time outside with a stiff and uncomfortable back?

BF! ZHONGLI who gives an akward smile while explaining how he coincidentally forgot to bring his money on your fifth date even though at your last date he said he'll pay for the next one.

"yea.. sorry, that's on me. i forgot my wallet again." zhongli said with a guilty expression, bringing his hand up to his head. while scratching his head trying not to look guilty, he secretly hopes you pay for the food. while slighting peaking from his closed eyes, he saw you reaching out to the payment terminal and inserting your card inside. he was secretly cheering inside, thinking about more excuses to use for his next dates with you.

BF! ZHONGLI who likes drinking tea with you while sitting on the balcony, watching the sunset with you. while sipping the hot liquid he thinks about how he could milk more money out of tartaglia.

› @yiiofsh

[oh-allie]

shakespeare and swooning

alhaitham x g/n reader

synopsis; you read one shakespeare play and now you want to impress your "buddy" alhaitham with your newfound knowledge !! what could go wrong?

fluff, g/n reader, TOTAL CRACKFIC, OOC alhaitham, SWEARING, kind of a modern au ???? i mention "ringing tighnari" but that could just be imagined as using the akasha terminal !!!! didnt write this with a modern au in mind

warning ‼️ PLEASE dont expect this to be accurate, if youre a big classic literature fan then dont attack me for not being a NERD ☹️ just imagine a poser using their fancy words (because they think its cool)

you know how libraries are supposed to be a place of study and tranquility? no the fuck you don't, or at least you don't care, because running through the house of daena with shakespeares, "romeo and juliet," in your hands is NOT very tranquil.

multiple poor akademiya students look at you, PISSED OFF because your shoes are going clu-clonk on the marble floors, which wouldn't be an issue if you weren't scurrying through the library.

is that kaveh ?? he's giving you the same look he gives alhaitham every day ..

... but this is IMPORTANT !! you're on a MISSION right now !! you just finished reading the first act of "romeo and juliet," and you're convinced your brain has expanded tenfold in size.

you're now rushing to your good pal haitham to share your knowledge! how kind and gracious!

you're stopped before his house, you've known him for long enough and gotten close enough for him to let you come in whenever. you know kaveh isn't home, and haitham would never purposefully work overtime, so you're certain you can get his attention and show off in peace.

why are you so adamant about showing off to alhaitham? is it REALLY showing off, or are you trying to, heehee, impress him?? its too late to be flustered at this thought because you already unlocked the door with the spare key kaveh leaves behind one of haithams ugly ass decorative plants and you've taken off your shoes and oh god hes right there and the sunlight from the door is lighting up his face in that way that only happens to him and hes looking at you with a suprised, slightly annoyed, but incredibly fond look and oh no what was your plan again?

"greetings, alhaitham! ☝️🤓" you say, finding a surge of confidence remembering the story you read.

"... hey. what are you doing here?" his response is quick but before you respond he continues, "did you just say greetings?"

"indubidibdibdly! hath you be surprised?" you pretentious hipster. you think youre SO cool, but unfortunately your little crush doesn't seem very impressed either.

"okay, what are you doing? you're being weird." he's not even looking at you, and he's back in his chair before you can rush over and sit on the couch. "is something wrong? should i get tighnari to give you a checkup?"

you'd be touched by the care of the suggestion if he wasn't so cheeky in his tone.

"wha, what, no?! no what the hell- stop ringing tighnari."

"are thou o'er wrought with admiration?" you grin, somehow still under the impression that you sound cool.

he gives an eyebrow raise to that. not bothering to mark his place in his book, he stands up.

"i lie testy in why you act so unpregnant, my dear."

"what"

HUH ? what did bro just say ? testy ???? unpregnant ?? MY DEAR ??? backtrack again, UN-WHAT ??

"be still my beating heart, thou hast taken mine with absolute cunning." is he making fun of you i genuinely can't tell ... its like hes speaking in moon runes right now.

"haitham, heheh, WHAT are you DOING ??" you can't help but laugh at his funny little words, magic man. even if you're clueless to what he just said to you.

"whatever doth thou mean?" he's totally making fun of you !! after ALL your effort to impress him too?

"well, usually i do all the ranting and you sit pretty and listen, so it's weird that you're talking so much, especially like THAT?" fym sit pretty ....

"when words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain." that sounds familiar, but you can't think about it longer before he continues, "shall i compare thee to a summers day?"

"ALRIGHT, i recognize that one, dummy." you laugh, "were you really not impressed by me?" you whisper, the rush of embarrassment you shouldve felt in that library is finally catching up with you.

he stares at you for a second. you just wish you could find out what hes thinking up there, if you could even understand it.

and then he lets you into his mind, with a simple "i love you." as if alhaitham, renowned scribe of the akademiya, top student, couldn't find the words to describe how he felt for you.

or maybe that was what he felt for you. he loved you.

"... you called me unpregnant."

a/n; i read romeo and juliet like... 3 years ago.... so.. uam... 😇😇 totally accurate! hope this crackfic style of writing isnt too niche so this doesnt flop because EMBARRASSING....... do people even like al haitham anymore like guys lets go back to the good old days before the FRENCH came in..... (this is just me projecting cause i havent played genshin in a while and i still lovelove sumeru)

[steamyconcepts-minorsdni]

So I’ve been having brain rot about chiscara wedding and I think it’s so funny how you could logic every archon into showing up to that event.

Nahida: She’s going either way. Im pretty sure she’s decided that they’re best friends/family whether Scara likes it or not. (He does)

Raiden: I mean, his mom. Duh. Yes I know she wouldn’t remember him and I know he hates her but what if they ended up meeting again and she does remember him and explains herself and they make up because I said so.

Zhongli: I do ship Zhongchi at the same time, so boyfriend/bestie gets an invite.

Furina: Childe definitely invites Wriothesley because he wants to be friends with (fight) him. And given that Childe is responsible for single handedly keeping Fontaine from becoming Atlantis for MONTHS, Neuvillette would end up insisting he go too even if it’s just to drop off a wedding gift, and because I think it’d be funny, dragging Furina along with him.

Venti: Zhongli’s plus one because they’re husbands.

The Tsaritsa: One of her harbingers is getting married why not show up.

And then it’s completely tense and awkward for everyone involved 👍

[akiraruru]

Would you love me if I was a lamp?!

Included: multiple

Content warning/s: none

A/n: I HATE math, our math exam only allows us to answer for 1 HOUR MF DIDNT EVEM LET ME FINISH IT I DIDNT EVEN GET TO SOLVE THAT LAST 2 PROBLEMS BCS OF IT. Anyway new layout, not using the genre thingy anymore

I would love you no matter what you are, dear.

ZHONGLI, Diluc (?), THOMA, KAZUHA

I can't find myself loving a lamp.

Tighnari, AL HAITHAM

No.

AL HAITHAM, Diluc, wanderer/scaramouche (?)

Why would you ask that? Is it because you're in-lamped with me? (Get it in-lamped, inloved? Yeah no that was bad)

CYNO, Venti

Likes, follows, reblogs, and any kind of feedback is appreciated!