#genre:angst without a happy ending
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I don't fucking care...(Zen x fem! reader)
AN:I was listening to idfc by blackbear and thought about writing an angst fic,i love breakup songs omg(i wrote this at 3 in the morning jesus)
Summary:You were supposed to go on a date with your boyfriend Zen,but he isn´t answering your calls or texts,he was supposed to pick you up,but little did you know that going to his house to check if everything was fine would end up in a breakup
Genre:Angst
TW:Cheating,swearing
Word count:547
Listen to the song here!
-Why...just why...what did I do wrong...I-
Tears rolled down your eyes,you've been like this for 20 minutes already,crying in the darkness of your room,you were supposed to spend the night with your boyfriend Zen,going to a restaurant,going to a small night walk,one of the million walks that you had went to with him,a 2 year relationship to the trash,because he found another girl...
You found him cheating on you when you went to his apartment,he wasn't answering your calls or messages and he was supposed to be at your door at 9pm,little did you know that the door was going to be unlocked,just to see him with another girl,you inmediately left running,you could hear Zen saying "Y/N wait I can explain it!",you didn't cared,with or without explanations,it still hurt...
All the walks,all the kisses,the cuddles,the happy moments,the sad moments,the parties of the RFA,everything was now garbage and you had to forget about it
-I gave him everything I had,and even more than that,because he deserved it,and this is what I get back...I hate him...
Your cries just got louder,you didn't cared if anyone heard you,this was horrible enough to care about other people.You could feel your eyes getting irritated for all the crying,you even got some red spots on your cheeks from it
-Why Zen why did you do this to me...why?!
You heard a gentle knock on your door,you knew who it was
-What do you want...
+Y/N open the door please,I need to talk to you
...
+I know you're there,please I just- wanna talk things out
-I don't have nothing to talk with you and your stupid cheating ass
+Y/N please,just open the door...
You got up from your bed,you were tired,mentally and phisically,and this wasn't helping,you stood in front of the door without opening it
-Why don't you leave Zen...you're just making things-worse
You couldn't help but cry again
+Because I don't wanna lose you,please...
-If you didn't wanted to lose me you wouldn't have done what you did,you have no excuse,leave me alone...please
+Y/N there is an explanation,just listen to me
-I don't fucking care about your explanations Zen...I don't fucking care about what we had,what I did for you,how far I went just to see you happy,the amount of time that I spent on you now is wasted...
Your tears started to interrupt your words,it was hard speaking now
-Everything,everything I fucking did for you,and this is what I get back,it was all a lie,I don't even want to know for how much time this shit has been going on because It'll only make it worse for me,just leave me alone,I beg you...
+But...Y/N please,I do love you
-And you did it again,you lied to me,what other lies did you told me?That I was pretty,good at what I did?What else?...
+No,no,stop saying that,let me speak,I can actually explain it just-
-I don't fucking care anymore Zen,say and do whatever you want,because I don't care or believe you anymore,my feelings for you were a mistake,and they were real,that´s the worst part...
+Y/N....I'm sorry...
That's the last thing you heard before collapsing onto the floor,all those years,wasted,just because he didn't actually loved you,but someone else.You could hear Zen slowly leaving your door,nothing else was said,the only thing that you could hear now was yourself crying,thinking about those memories,those beautiful and fake memories,who cares now...
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These Bloody Hands (This Tender Heart) by Paycheckgurl (Gwen&John | Complete | 802 | T)
John Hart has a chance encounter. It begins with a gun to his head.
#mod recs#mod:daniela#title:t#author:paycheckgurl#platform:ao3#wordcount:500to1k#status:complete#rating:teen#genre:angst#genre:angst without a happy ending#ship:gwen&john#character:gwen cooper#character:john hart#canon:coe
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Xiao realizing he has feelings for a mortal
Type:Headcanons
Genre:Angst,Secret feelings
Warning:Mild Angst,Mention of Death,Sad themes
A.N:At first i wanted to write a fluffy story but it turned angsty haha,like always reader is always gender neutral unless specified!
At first will curse himself for even developing these feelings,he knows very well the outcome of this and always stayed away from mortals to avoid getting attached,he’s the one who always preached this but found himself falling in love with a mortal ironically.
He may appear distant to you when he first find out how he felt about you,and may have been in the deny for quite a while before realizing his feelings tbh,but over time he’ll pretend in front of you everything is fine,even if he’s not the type of guy to shoot his love for you, he’ll still keep an eye on you from afar you won’t even notice it.
Doesn’t know how to deal with these feelings because he never developed feelings for anyone before due to avoiding forming bonds with non adepts,so he’ll definitely need to put a finger on it and it’s not like he can ask others adepts about the matters.
Xiao will wants to be your protector in the shadows at least as long as you live,he already know the two of you will sadly not be together forever,but as long you’re alive he’ll vow to himself to protect you from harm so you can live your best life,you won’t know about it but it’s what he’ll be doing to keep you safe,a vow of protection and selfless love.
The man does have emotions regardless of his past as Yaksha he’s just used to repressing them,he just wants your happiness he’d probably will encourage you to find yourself a lover,but deep will not wants to see you with another he may appear cold and apathetic,but this man have feelings too he just want the best for you even if it hurts him.
Definitely will not wants to confess,he doesn’t want to take away your time and get a relationship that will make him way too much attached to you that will only drive him crazy when he’ll be left all alone without you,and it could damage you in some way since you’d never get to see him age,grow old with him or till death do both of you appart he also though about it,but perhaps you could find a way…
(Ending open to interpretation in the last phrase maybe I’ll do a writing for it less angsty-)
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Queen || Park Seonghwa(Ateez)
Pairing : Seonghwa x Reader (fem.)
Word count: 2k+
Warnings: Mentions of war , cuss words , A single kiss.
Genre:Angst , fluff, Goryeo AU , Royal AU.
Description : Serving the nation was Crown Prince Seonghwa’s second most top priority. You were the first.
A/N: This one is an old drabble too but it’s one of my best ones. I haven’t been able to write much since my college already started but I will write a new imagine/drabble asap.
Enjoy!
The warrior of Goryeo ,the future king, the pride of his father, the most gorgeous man to ever have been born, Seonghwa was everything an ideal crown prince could be. The tales of his bravery were known by the young and the old and the stories of his loyalty were performed as poems and songs. He was the most perfect man in the entire nation and the people truly believed so with all their hearts.
But little did the people know what actually hides behind his calm demeanor and loving smile.
"What do you mean you are getting me married?" Seonghwa has a stern look on his face, trying to remain calm as his father tells him -commands him - to do the one thing he could never do. His heart crushes in his chest but he tries to maintain a composed form in front of his discipline obsessed father.
"You heard me the first time, Crown Prince . You will be getting married to the Princess of a minor kingdom soon. " he asserts his decision by looking at the prince with angry, burning eyes.
Seonghwa has a heart of gold, they say. A heart so strong and so precious, no one could ever reach that point of greatness in one lifetime. But maybe they were wrong. Maybe his heart was not gold ,but glass ; frail and easily breakable.
That night, after his father practically forces him into an alliance he didn't even desire, Crown Prince Seonghwa walks to the one place in the entire nation that makes him feel safe and at home. And no,that is not his luxurious , comfortable palace complex.
Miss y/n's house is a few minutes away from the main royal complex so it has always been easier for Seonghwa to be able to sneak out without getting caught by guards or his own family members. Out of the million times he's ever been to her small,two roomed house, he's probably only ever been close to getting caught just once.
"Y/n, its me " he knocks softly at her door, trying to hold his tears in as his father's words still remain carved in his mind.
As soon as the door opens, he practically pulls her into his arms, finding comfort in that one person more than anyone else. She puts her head on his chest and nuzzles into the embrace, finding the similar comfort that he does in her.
"What's wrong ?" She asks, not being able to ignore the tear stains on his cheeks and the tremble in his voice.
He strokes her long ,black hair ,trying to gain courage to say anything at all. How could he tell her that all those dreams of living together might never come true, that he will be sharing his bed with another woman now, that he will have to father children of a woman he didn't love.
"Father is getting me married to a princess." he wishes he could have stopped those words before they reached her ears, despite the physical impossibility of that desire, but there's nothing he could do anymore. The damage has already been done .
Y/n's heart drops in the deepest pits of her stomach , a feeling of anger , bitterness and betrayal washes over her as she process the information just provided to her. But she forces a smile, for Seonghwa 's sake.
"It's alright, your majesty. " she places a kiss on his head, fighting away tears that were so dangerously waiting to fall from her eyes. For Seonghwa , she reminds herself.
He looks up at her with bewilderment clear in his eyes. "Are you saying I should listen to him? "
Y/n bite her lips ,trying to form proper sentences in her head. How does one tell the man they love to let everything go ? Let them go?
She didn't want to do it, of course. If she could , she would have made him run away from that horrendous royal palace and keep him with her in her small hut where they could live a peaceful life but she couldn't.
He's royal blood and she is just a commoner who washes clothes for a living. She's not a match for him, no matter how much both of them pretended it weren't true.
"He's the king. You cannot say no to a royal command. " she whispers. She takes in deep breaths to make sure that his scent is embedded in her mind for centuries to come. The way that his arms feel warm around her and the smooth texture of his voice, she wants to remember everything.
"I will give up everything and come to you, y/n. Just say the word and I'll leave everything. " he says, taking her face in his hands. His fingertips press softly against her cheeks, the pressure sending shivers through her body.
"And then what? You leave and then what? Are you ready to give up all those luxuries and privileges to live a normal life where we have to work really hard to earn some money? " she speaks in a small voice as her shaky hands remove his from her face. "Will you turn your back on the citizens of our country that love you so much ?"
Seonghwa's hands fall to his sides , as if they lost all their sense of movement and purpose. The tears flowing down his cheeks refuse to stop anytime soon .
"Go, Seonghwa . Please. The country needs you. More than me. " she says , finally letting her own tears flow too.
"I will never be able to love her. Not as much as I love you, not nearly as much you." he sobs, his hands yet again finding their way to her waist, pulling her into his chest.
Putting a hand on his chest , y/n stops his actions, although it only feels like twisting a knife further into her own wounds.
"Go."
As he walks away that night, she watches his back from a small gap through the window, trying to remember as many details about this man as her mind could afford to store. She wants to remember him. She wants to remember the only man who loved her so unconditionally.
The grief finally crashes into her , her whole body being taken over by ugly sobs, with her eyes still on Seonghwa 's back, his black hair shining under the moonlight and his sword swinging with every movement of his body.
For Seonghwa , she reminds herself , For Seonghwa , I will never love again.
"You have to stop bringing things like this for me, your highness. It makes me feel guilty." Y/n says , running her hand over the beautiful, brand new silk blanket sitting on her lap. Mingi smiles, rolling his eyes playfully at her. "Hey, this is not from me. It's from Brother Seonghwa ."
Nodding her head with slight disappointment on her face, she tries hard not to acknowledge the name even though it as if makes her body erupt into flames. It's been months since they last saw each other and although she doesn't say it out loud , her mind is pre occupied with Seonghwa’s thoughts more often than she'd like. But then again, It's not easy forgetting the man you so dearly loved.
"How's he doing?" Those words come out even before she could process it , spilling out of her mouth like water out of a jug.
"He's doing fine .Doesn't talk much ,rarely sleeps. I don't see him that much either." Mingi says
He's as miserable as she is, she realizes and even though it is horrible , she feels a slight giddiness at that thought.
"And the crown princess? "
"Do you really want to know, y/n?" Mingi replies with a slight chuckle.
No, she didn't really want to know about how much time the good-for-nothing princess is spending with her Seonghwa but she asked it anyway , just for the sake of it.
"No." She admits.
Mingi sighs, running his hand over the soft blanket laid on her lap. "They're not married yet you know . If you say it, I'll make some arrangements so you two could run off to a faraway place. He says he doesn't want the throne anyway. He honestly doesn't want anything that isn't you anymore. "
Y/n feels her heart beat increase at his words but her face remains neutral , trying not to lose her composure in front of Seonghwa's brother.
"I would never be able to keep him as happy as the princess might, though I hate to admit it. He's grown up in those palaces with thousands of servants and expensive clothes and luxurious cuisines. If he chooses me, he'll lose all of that. He'll lose his home , he'll lose the love of his countrymen, your highness. Why can't you of all people understand that? "
"No, I do understand, y/n. But I don't like seeing my brother like that. I and second prince Hongjoong have had to see him in such a miserable condition these past few months, not knowing what to do ," He says "No medicine for this illness ,right? " He adds, pointing a finger to the left side of his chest ; his heart.
"No, there isn't " she replies, but the "I wish there was " is silent.
"Are you out of your mind, Seonghwa ? Father will chop our heads off and have them displayed at the front gate of the palace!" Hongjoong is angry but he knows he's not exaggerating. Their excuse of a father might actually end up doing that if any of his children bring dishonor to the family.
"I agree. " Mingi agrees. Seonghwa paces to and fro in his room , the groom's clothes on his bed long forgotten. He runs a frustrated hand through his hair , hissing at himself for not being able to come up with a solid decision. He has to do something and he knows for a fact that he cannot marry the princess waiting for him in the king's court.
"I can't marry her. I will not marry her. "He keeps mumbling to himself under his breath as his brothers watch him helplessly.
The door of the room flies open without a warning and the three boys look at their father ,his majesty, the king of Goreyo entering the room with a horrified expression.
"The wench ran away." he says with a shaking breath, humiliation clear in his eyes. "The princess ran away with her lover to a far away place. I will wage a war on that kingdom! I will destroy them for this insult they've spat on our faces."
Seonghwa 's mind goes blank for a second , wondering if the words leaving his father's mouth were true or just a manifestation of his own imagination.
"Father, it's okay. I think everything happens for a reason. " Hongjoong speaks up , deciding to take one for the team. He trembles under his father's gaze but he swallows the fear. The universe knows he'd do anything for his brothers. Anything.
Mingi looks at Seonghwa ,as if signaling him to say something or do something instead of staring at the king like a statue. "Uh.. yes, yes, father. I don't think she'd have made a very good queen anyway so why waste our time fighting against such people? Let it go. Karma will get back to them."
He's speaking nonsense at this point but he doesn't care. He only wishes to see y/n as soon as possible.
"Fine, if you say so. Anyway I meant to ask you if you have a bride in mind. I can't cancel the whole wedding for a stupid girl ; you're getting married anyway, bring whoever you want, a common girl ,a noblewoman ,whatever. I just don't want my name to have a black stain on it because the crown prince's wedding got cancelled under my reign. "The king puts his hand on Seonghwa ‘s shoulder.
"Yes. Yes. I have someone in mind, father. I'll get her right away. " If you think he sprinted right out the door ,running off towards y/n's house without letting the king respond to his words, then you're absolutely right.
The knocks on her door seem oddly familiar ,too familiar to be true yet, without a second thought she opens it, although she wasn't actually expecting him to there.
" Seonghwa ! Did you run away from the wedding?" She cries, as he leans against her door and pants heavily.
"No." he gulps . " No. She ran away. Father wants me to marry whoever I want. Says he just wants to save his image."
Speechless. That is what she is as she watches him enter the small hut, his chest still heaving from the run and the sweat still fresh on his forehand. "I'm going to ask you this one last time, Y/n." he walks up to her ,trapping her by pinning her against the wall with his hands on either side of her head. "Will you marry me and become my Queen? Will you please do me this one favour? "
Y/n stares at him for a good five seconds, tears streaming down her face as she rests her hand on Seonghwa’s chest, the heartbeat from his chest matching hers.
When he raises an eyebrow demanding an answer, she doesn't reply but instead pulls his mouth down to meet hers.
And that's all the answer he'll ever need.
#ultkpop#kafenetwork#starryktown#writekpop#ateez atiny#ateez fluff#ateez smut#ateez angst#kpop bands#kpop fluff#kpop angst#kpop ff#kpop smut#ateez au#ateez kpop#ateez x reader#ateez seonghwa#park seonghwa#ateez seonghwa au#ateez fanfic#ateez park seonghwa#ateez seonghwa ff#ateez seonghwa imagine#ateez reactions#kpop bias#kpop icons#kpop#kpop scenarios
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BTS DRABBLE
Anon Request: Strong and independent reader breaks down.
A/N: I am so so sorry this has taken me so long. I have had some personal stuff going on that completely drained my energy and will to write. But hopefully I can get back on track, and thank you so much for sticking with me! It means the world. <3
Tags: BTS, BTS Drabble, Bangtan Boys, Bangtan Seonyendan, Bulletproof Boy Scouts, Beyond the Scene, Anon Request, Anon Ask, Fluff, Angst, Seokjin x you, Yoongi x you, Hoseok x you, Namjoon x you, Jimin x you, Taehyung x you, Jungkook x you
Genre:Angst, Fluff
Warnings: Mild and brief mentions of death (Yoongi and Namjoon)
Title: Not Alone
KIM SEOKJIN
“Jagi?”
You hear the door to the bathroom open, the sound just barely audible over the running water of the shower, a chill breeze infiltrating the steamy, humid room as your boyfriend slips inside, shutting the door behind him.
“Jagi. You in here?” Jin repeats, and you hear his soft footsteps pad across the tile in your direction, and you instinctively shrink into yourself, arms wrapped around your knees, pulled tight against your chest.
The shower curtain is pulled back a hint, and Jin’s face appears in the crack, his eyes widening slightly as he sees you-sitting forlornly on the bottom of the tub, curled in on yourself, face probably blotchy and swollen from crying, eyes rimmed in red.
He’s never seen you cry, not like this.
“Hey, what happened?” He asks softly after collecting himself, crouching down at the edge of the tub, as the hot water of the shower continues to beat down on the crown of your head, his hand reaching out to trail along the bare, wet skin of your arm, fingers cool against your heat flush.
You shake your head violently, biting your bottom lip between your teeth, before you say, voice hoarse from crying, “I don’t know. It just all became too much all of a sudden.” You sniff, wiping your nose with the back of your hand, as he watches you with a soft look of concern. “Work, and my classes, and dance practices.”
“Jagi.” Jin’s fingers still on your skin, and his gaze meets yours, eyes dark and serious. “If it’s too much, you can drop some things.” You open your mouth, but he holds up his hand to stop your protests as he says sternly, “ And lightening your schedule does not mean you’re any less independent or capable. No one is going to judge you.”
You consider his words for a moment, and then finally nod, swiping at your eyes once more, before you manage to whisper, “okay.”
“Good.” Jin nods and then a wide smile cracks across his face as his gaze drifts over your naked body. “By the way, how long have you been in here? You’re starting to look like a prune.”
You laugh slightly, a little of the weight lifting off of your chest. “At least an hour.”
“Well.” Jin stands from his crouched position, already reaching to shuck his t-shirt off his broad shoulders and over his head with another grin in your direction. “If you can stand a little while more, I’ll join you.”
MIN YOONGI
“It’s pretty right?”
You glance over to Yoongi at his whispered words, as he takes off one of the overly large headphones from his ears, his long fingers still adjusting some of the recording levels as his eyes meet your own.
You nod, removing your own headphones, as you offer him a small smile before saying softly, “It’s really good, Yoongs. And IU’s voice is incredible.”
“I told you.” He grunts in response, already putting his headphones back on to monitor the sound coming from the recording studio.
Your eyes flicker to the woman standing behind the thick glass, eyes closed as she sings the words to the song, emotion in every lyric, her hands carefully cupped around the large microphone, dark hair pulled up from her neck in a bun on top of her head, curled tendrils black against her flawless skin, the large sweatshirt she wears dwarfing her small frame.
IU is the country’s princess, the country’s baby girl, and Yoongi had been so excited when he told you they were working to produce and release a song together. You were happy for him. And he hadn’t lied, when he told you IU’s voice was like listening to an angel.
You just hadn’t expected them to write a song about this.
A song about all the loss the three of you had experienced at the hands of the industry.
IU pauses in her singing, calling something to Yoongi through the glass, and he takes off his headphones, giving her a thumbs up.
You take the opportunity, the break, to stand from your chair, and when your boyfriend gives you a slightly quizzical look, you can barely speak around the lump in your throat as you force a smile and murmur, “I’m gonna get some air.”
You leave the studio in a hurry, and when you reach the silence and emptiness of the hallway beyond, you feel the first tear leak from the corner of your eye, and stuffing a fist into your mouth to keep quiet, you lean back against the wall, the tears now dripping down your cheeks in an endless torrent.
You stay like that, silently grieving, your heart aching in your chest, until the sound of the studio door opening makes you start upward, reaching up to swipe hurriedly at your eyes, as Yoongi emerges in the hallway, head swiveling until he catches sight of you.
“Hey, what are you….” He pauses mid sentence, and his steps falter toward you, as a slight look of shock crosses his features at your obviously blotched and reddened skin. You don’t think he has ever seen you cry before. “Are you crying?” He asks, stepping toward you, his voice softening, as he takes your hands in his.
“No.” You stutter out, wiping again at your wet cheeks, before you drop the act and nod your head miserably. “Okay, yes.”
“Is everything okay, baby?” Yoongi murmurs, eyebrow raised as he watches you expectantly, waiting for your answer.
You blush, averting your gaze from his, not sure if it’s because you’re not used to his concerned side, or because you’re ashamed of crying in front of him, at the studio no less, for the first time.
“I just….that song…” You choke out, and his fingers squeeze yours, giving you the strength to meet his gaze once again and go on as you take a deep breath. “I miss Jonghyun, Yoongi.”
You seem to have caught him off guard judging by his sudden silence, but it only lasts a moment, before he is pulling you to him, surprising you once again, as he crushes you against his body, your face buried in his chest.
“I know, baby. I miss him too. That’s why I wrote this song. It was the only outlet for my emotion that would do it all justice.” His voice is soft, but hard, and quietly fervent, and you can feel him quiver slightly beneath you at his words.
You sniff, another moment of silence falling between you, and then you say, voice muffled by the fabric of his hoodie, “It is a really good song though.”
He chuckles, the sound rumbling through his chest, and his hand goes up to stroke your hair, before he gently kisses the top of your head. “Good. I’m glad you like it.”
JUNG HOSEOK
You bite your lip, as you angrily chop the veggies, the knife flashing as you move almost without thinking, your mind elsewhere, as you reach to turn down the heat on the kimchi stew that is bubbling on the stove.
Hobi, seasoning and readying the pork belly at the counter opposite you, is whistling something meaningless, his tone happy and perky, as he beats his own knife to the beat on the cutting board beneath his hands.
It has been ten minutes since either of you has said anything, the only sound filling the kitchen the sounds of chopping and stirring and that damn persistent whistling, and as you slide the cut up vegetables carefully into the boiling stew, you can’t handle it anymore.
Slamming the empty cutting board down onto the counter, you whirl on your heel, Hobi stopping midwhistle to glance over at you, as you exclaim with annoyance, “How are you so damn happy all the freaking time, Jung Hoseok?!”
He stares at you for a moment, your chest heaving with angry breaths, and setting down his knife and pushing aside the pork belly, he steps toward you, asking gently, “Okay. What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” You almost shriek in return, waving the knife in his direction. “You whistle all the time, and the world sucks mostly, and people suck mostly, and here I am, a very emotional person, stuck with the one person in the world who seems to never experience anything other than absolute euphoria that he’s alive!”
You end your impassioned speech breathing harder than is necessary, glaring blankly at your boyfriend as he takes careful steps toward you from across the kitchen, hands held out in front of him as if he is making a peace offering with a dangerous and riled wild animal.
“Okay, jagi. First off,” Hobi says calmly, reaching your side and pushing your arm down, so that the knife is held several inches above the counter. “Let’s put the knife down.”
You breathe out hard, and it takes a moment for your unwillingly clenched fingers to finally loosen enough to drop the large cutting knife to the counter with a dull clang.
“Okay, good.” Hobi offers you a careful smile, as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you to him, stiff in his arms, as he forces you to bury your face in the front of his shirt. “Now. Tell me what’s really wrong.”
You just breathe for a moment, arms stiff at your sides, as his fingers trail up and down your back in a calming matter, and when you think you can speak again without yelling, you mutter out begrudgingly, “My mom’s coming to visit this weekend.”
“Ah.” Hobi lets out a sigh of understanding, before pushing you back from him to glance down at you with a slightly amused smile lighting up his features. “See. That makes more sense now.”
“You know she’ll just come here and nitpick every aspect of my life, Hobi.” You whine out, as he reaches around you to turn down the stew, almost bubbling over the top of the pot at your lack of attention. You wave your hands dramatically to accentuate your next words, raising your voice and making it nasally to sound more like your mother, “‘(Y/N), you work too much. (Y/N), you should change your hair, it’s been the same since eighth grade. (Y/N), when are you going to give me grandchildren?’”
Hobi laughs at your impression, and you shoot him a glare, as he once again hugs you to him, your face burying into the material of his t-shirt, that smells like dinner, and sweat, and his natural musk. “Come on, jagi. It won’t be that bad.”
“That’s what you think.” You mutter sourly under your breath, and he laughs again.
“Look, if it’ll make you feel better,” Hobi pushes you away, back to your job of cutting up vegetables for dinner, as he heads back to his own station, shooting you a sly look over his shoulder as he does so. “I’ll whistle a different tune.”
“God, no.” you groan out, waving the knife once again in his direction as you resume your chopping. “Just no more whistling please.”
KIM NAMJOON
“Doctor, there’s nothing more you can do.”
The nurse’s words jolt you from your trance, and stepping back from the bedside, you strip off your gloves, as your assistants hurry to cover up the patient, and you numbly announce, “Time of death, 18:04.”
Leaving the room behind you, you swallow around the lump in your throat and straighten your shoulders, ignoring the aching of your heart as you move to finish the rest of your shift.
Because this is a place of professionalism at all times, even if your heart is breaking.
********
“Hey, Dr. Kim. How was your shift?”
You step through the door to the apartment and Namjoon’s bright voice rings out from where he is sitting at the table, notebook open before him, pens and pencils strewn about, no doubt working on lyrics for something new, his eyes flashing with a smile as he looks up to greet you.
You open your mouth to respond, and instantly burst into tears.
You hide behind your hands as you sob, and your husband is obviously caught off guard judging by the silence that fills the room for a moment, before you hear the chair scoot back, and his large, warm hands are taking your upper arms, as he leads you blindly toward the sofa.
“Oh no, baby. What happened?” He asks softly, barely heard above the sounds of your own grief, as he pulls you down to sit beside him on the soft couch cushions, his arms instinctively going around you.
“Mrs. Chen….she….” You choke out around your tears, vision blurry, as you glance over at him, but the words can’t seem to finish leaving your throat, as you start to sob harder, hiccuping to catch your breath.
Thankfully, Namjoon seems to understand what you’re trying to say, and pulling you to him, he cradles your body against his own, reaching up to brush your hair off your forehead where it is stuck with salt water, as he murmurs quietly, “Oh, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You did absolutely everything you could.”
“But she was getting better.” You cry out miserably, taking in a deep breath to try to calm down, as you reach up to wipe some very unattractive snot from your face. “I don’t understand, Namjoon. She was fine yesterday.”
He is quiet for a moment, no doubt thinking things over seriously and methodically like he always does, and then his voice is low as he replies, “Some things just happen, baby. And there’s nothing anyone can do to slow or stop them. Not even you.” He pushes a finger under your chin to make you meet his gaze, and offers you a soft smile. “Mrs. Chen isn’t upset with you.”
“I know, I just…” You sniffle, wiping away some stray tears. “This is why I told myself not to become emotionally involved or friends with my patients. Because it’s just too hard.”
“Hey.” Namjoon’s voice is serious, and he waits for you to meet his stern gaze before continuing. “Mrs. Chen didn’t have any family. She needed you-in more ways than one.”
You ponder his words, finally nodding and sniffling again, before Namjoon leans over to press a kiss against your damp cheek. “Now, let’s get you out of these work clothes, and I’ll warm you up some dinner.”
PARK JIMIN
“Ow! Dammit!”
Jimin pops his head in from the adjoining bathroom at your cry, eyebrows high on his forehead as he asks with concern, “Baby girl? You okay out here?”
“I stubbed my toe on the corner of the bed.” You say harshly, as you collapse onto the edge of the mattress, hot tears suddenly filling your eyes, as you breathe hard and long to try and control the sudden wave of emotions.
“That can’t be all.” Your boyfriend says, fully entering the room now, looking amazingly handsome in a custom tuxedo, as he adjusts his tie, looking at you sceptically.
“That’s not all.” You huff out with annoyance, whether you’re annoyed with the throbbing in your toe, or the way you emotionally reacted to it, you’re still unsure. “The bigger problem is this boob pinching, waist cinching, horror dress that I cannot breathe in.”
Jimin leans against the doorframe, watching you with slight amusement in his eyes, as you motion to the long evening gown adorning your body, a “one and only custom masterpiece” according to the boys’ stylists. He chuckles lightly, sweeping silver hair from his forehead, as he crosses the room and crouches down in front of you to take one of your high heels from your fumbling fingers, guiding it easily onto your foot and fastening the straps as he glances up at you. “Come on. You’re this upset over a dress?”
Damn it. He knows you too well. He can probably see the way your chin is quivering slightly, and the way you’re trying too hard to hold back the hot tears from falling from the corners of your eyes, ruining your perfect makeup.
Finally, as he moves to the other foot, you sigh, and rolling your eyes, you look away from him as you complain, voice suddenly choking a little in your throat, “No. It’s not the dress. It’s the awards show.” You feel him pause, his fingers resting on the top of you foot, skin warm and rings cold, and you try not to look down at him, as you swallow hard and continue, “I don’t want to spend another Saturday night sitting beside all those idols-beautiful and perfect and clearly out of my league. It makes me feel inferior and stupid.”
“Baby girl.” Jimin says on a tolerant sigh, and you finally glance over at him, as he stands from his crouched position, sitting beside you on the bed as one of his arms slips around your waist to pull you against his hip. “We’ve talked about this. And I know it doesn’t make you feel better,” He hurries to say, offering you a wide grin as his finger comes up to your lips to stop you from interrupting, “But I only have eyes for you.”
“You’re a hell of a liar, Park Jimin.” You mumble out grumpily around his finger, and he laughs, dropping his hand from your face, only to replace it, momentarily, quickly and sweetly, with his lips on your own, before he pulls back and offers you a hand.
“Now come on. I want everyone to see how beautiful you look tonight.”
KIM TAEHYUNG
“Jagi. Psssst! Jagi!”
You shoot a glare in your boyfriend’s direction, as for the second time in as many minutes, he drags your attention away from the movie playing on the screen, his elbow digging into your side, as he looks at you, wide eyes shiny and dark in the reflection from the large movie screen of the theater.
“Kim Taehyung, I swear….” You growl out in a whisper, glancing at the couples around you, hoping they aren’t being as distracted by him as you are.
One movie. In peace. One quiet date night.
“Pass me the popcorn.” Taehyung whispers loudly, motioning with his hand to the container sitting beside you in the empty seat. He’s clearly unfazed by the threat you hadn’t finished just moments before, nor by the sharp glare you give him once more as you pass him the almost empty carton of popcorn, as he flashes you a boxy grin, settling back into his seat once more, arm thrown around your shoulders, as he stuffs handfuls of popcorn into his mouth, now solely focused back on the movie.
Sighing, you roll your eyes and take a sip of your drink, before you lean your head begrudgingly on his shoulder, once again zeroing in on what’s happening on the screen before you.
This movie is really sad, you realize, as the main protagonist, a burly, good looking man, breaks down and starts to weep on screen as he learns the news of his fiancee’s death.
Wait. It’s really sad.
Oh no. Please no.
You turn your head from Taehyung, careful not to jostle him with your movement, and reach for a napkin, the misting of your eyes catching you completely off guard, as you bite your lip and wipe hurriedly at the offending tears, trying desperately to claw their way out past your eyelids.
Shit. You never cry. Why now?
“Hey, jagi.” Taehyung turns to you, and you swear under your breath, trying to wipe at your face in an inconspicuous way. What a terrible time for him to pick to ask you for something else.
Now he was really going to notice. Or maybe he wouldn’t. You could only hope.
“Hmmm?” you hum out in response to his inquiry, stuffing the slightly damp napkin down in between the seats in a vague attempt at hiding what you were just doing, as you glance over at him, hoping your eyes are no longer wet.
Taehyung stares at you for a moment, and dread fills your stomach, as suddenly, popcorn forgotten, he turns to you, face stretching into a knowing grin, as he asks in a stage whisper, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Holy shit, jagi. Were you crying? Over a movie?!”
“No! I wasn’t!” You say defensively, sticking your tongue out at him, as he begins to chuckle quietly, and a few shushing noises are heard from behind you. “Shut up, Tae.” You hiss out between your teeth, waving apologetically to the angry looking people a few rows back, before you slap a hand over your still chortling boyfriend’s mouth. “You’re gonna get us kicked out!”
He waves his hands at you, and you reluctantly let his mouth go, as he reaches up to wipe at the tears of mirth gathering in his dark eyes, before he lets out a long breath, lips still curled upward, and says softly, “I honestly didn’t know you were capable of crying. I legitimately thought you were a robot the whole time we’ve been dating. But apparently,” He waves his hand at the closing scenes of the movie playing on the screen, and starts to laugh hysterically again, no longer able to keep quiet as he crows, “This movie is all it takes!”
Tackling him in his seat, you cover his mouth once again, as the rest of the popcorn spills, and dragging him behind you out of the movie theater, his laughter still echoing, you curse yourself for ever crying at a movie around Kim Taehyung.
JEON JUNGKOOK
“Hey, (Y/N)!”
You glance up as the familiar voice calls your name, putting away your phone as you see BamBam and Yugyeom appear in the doorway of the dressing room, looking rather dapper in matching black and blue tuxedos, hair gelled back and faces heavy with makeup, lips pulled back over white teeth as they grin excitedly at you.
“Bam! Gyeom!” You squeal, pushing up from your armchair and dodging around all of the boys’ stuff to throw your arms around the two taller men, careful not to mess up their crafted styling as you look up at them. “I didn’t think you guys would be here tonight!”
“We got roped into performing after your boyfriend.” Yugyeom teases, reaching out to flick your cheek playfully, as BamBam spins you around in a circle while he hugs you, leaving you slightly breathless and laughing.
“You look beautiful, baby.” The older boy says, eyeing your dress and shoes and pinned back hair with a critical eye, as he raises his brow at you in a teasing manner. “Kookie is lucky.”
“Ahhhh. You guys look good too.” You wink, reaching out to straighten BamBam’s lapel, before you smooth down some crinkled fabric on Yugyeom’s pocket.
“Speaking of the Golden Maknae,” Yugyeom says, glancing around the empty room behind you with a quizzical look. “Where is JK?”
“Yah.” You wave your hand at them, rolling your eyes as you hear the announcement from the auditorium for people to begin taking their seats. “He had to go talk to some other idols or something.”
“And he left you here alone?” BamBam says in mock disgust, before he offers you his arm. “Come on. We won’t do you dirty. Let us escort you to your seat, my lady.”
You laugh as Yugyeom bows deeply from the waist and offers you his elbow as well, and sandwiched between the two boys, you let them lead you down the hall and toward the auditorium.
As you walk, you keep an eye out for Jungkook, and catching sight of the back of his head around one of the corners, talking to someone you can’t see, you release BamBam and Yugyeom, offering them both thankful smiles as you motion toward your missing boyfriend, “There he is guys. I’d better go drag him in with me so he’s not late.” They laugh and you wave them off. “Good luck out there! Fighting!”
You walk quietly, determined to sneak up on the unsuspected Jungkook and scare him like he always does to you, but as you get closer, you recognize the low, feminine lilt of who he is talking to, and you stop in your tracks, catching a glimpse of IU’s long flowing, shimmering dress, as she bobs her head and laughs at something Jungkook has just said.
Suddenly, watching them converse so easily and so naturally, and knowing how much of a fan of hers Jungkook is, the butterflies in your stomach turn to waves of dread.
“Okay. Well, have a good performance, Noona. Fighting.” Jungkook says, bowing deeply as Yugyeom had done to you moments before, as IU rests her hand on his forearms and says something you can’t hear, before turning and gliding off in the direction of the auditorium.
You watch Jungkook watch her go, the dread growing by the moment, and when he turns and catches sight of you, you can’t force yourself to return his smile as he bounds over to you, taking your hands in his as he presses a careful kiss to your cheek, before saying brightly, “Jagi, there you are! Ready to go in?”
You nod mutely, allowing your fingers to find their slot within in his own, but you can’t resist asking, as Jungkook pulls you toward the auditorium, “Kook, do you like IU-noona?”
“Of course I do.” Jungkook throws you a confused glance over his shoulder, not seeming to grasp what you’re getting at. “I’ve been a fan of hers since I was a kid. She’s super talented.”
“And gorgeous, and an idol, and clearly a fan of yours as well.” You say back before you can stop yourself, and you suddenly feel a sharp lump in your throat, as tears threaten behind your eyelids.
Pulling to a stop behind him, Jungkook turns when you stop moving forward, brow raised, but expression turning to worry as he catches sight of the first of the tears leaking down your face, ruining your carefully applied makeup.
“Hey, jagi. What’s wrong?” He asks, stepping toward you, hands fluttering helplessly at his sides, as if he wants to comfort you, but he’s not quite sure how, or even what he’s done to make you this upset.
“I’m not good enough for you, Jungkook.” You stumble over your words, reaching up to carefully brush some more tears away, as the roar of the crowd from the auditorium reaches your ears. “You should be with someone like IU-noona. That’s what you deserve.”
Jungkook still seems unsure of how to react to your pitiful breakdown, but suddenly, he steals his shoulders, and stepping forward, surprises you when he takes your own shoulders firmly in his hands, and shakes you gently, his voice firm, when he says lowly, “That’s stupid.”
“What?” You ask in shock, as your eyes raise to his unbidden, and the sudden hardness and determination there catches you off guard.
Jungkook is never this serious.
“I said that’s stupid.” He repeats, digging his fingers into your bare shoulders. “I like IU-noona, I respect her. But I love you, (Y/N).”
The dread is gone as suddenly as it came with his words, and sniffling, you reach up to wipe your nose with the back of your hand, as you ask shakily, “You do?”
“Yes.” His eyes go soft again, and his bunny smile emerges as his lips reveal his teeth. “Now come on. The hyungs will kill me if we’re late.”
#bts#bangtan#bangtan boys#bangtan seonyandan#bulletproofboyscouts#bulletproof boy scouts#beyond the scene#magicshopnet#bts imagines#bts text#bts text post#bts reactions#bts scenarios#fluff#angst#anon request#anon ask#bts drabble#my asks#my requests#husband au#boyfriend au#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts fanfiction#kim seokjin#min yoongi#seokjin#jin
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but you love me, right?
(cheater!banri x reader)
genre:angst all the way bro
warning:none really, a bit of swearing? not a lot though.
summary:you were out shopping with friends, smiling, laughing and happy, not until you saw your boyfriend having his lips all over another woman who was clearly not you.
a/n: i'm new to this writing stuff so if it's a bit cringy please bear with it. i'll take criticisms tho, i wanna get better
...
it was a year and a few months since you started to date banri. a few months ever since that confession underneath the cherry blossom tree. as cliché as it is, you decided to confess to him underneath that pink tree behind the school building. you believed in that stupid school rumor that if you confessed in that place and your love decides to accept your feelings, you will love each other for the rest of your life. but if that was true, why were you seeing 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨? he accepted your feelings underneath that damned tree so why is your vision blurring out as you watch your lover, 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 banri showering another girl with his kisses and affection. a girl who wasn't you. you stood there, frozen, not knowing what to do. he hasn't seen you yet so it would be nice to just turn around, run, forget about it, act like you didn't see anything and continue with your life with banri. he didn't act cold whenever he was with you, he never showed signs of falling out of love, there was no way he'll leave you, 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩? you tried to run away, but you can't. you broke down infront of your friends who were
were shopping with you, you couldn't help but cry in pure lament. people started whispering around you as your friends tried to lift you up but a familiar voice echoed through your ears in your horror
“𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆? 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴? 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲?” banri's hand tried to hold your head up, you slapped it away. the person infront of you had his eyes widen, he knew it. he knew that you saw them. his heart broke into a million pieces when you stood up on your own, still shaking. you lifter your head, glaring at him with your tear filled eyes with pure hatred, no words were said but the fact that you were looking at him with that expression, that expression of shame, disappointment, hate and sadness, it hit him through his chest like a knife stabbed through his chest. he tried to hold you in his embrace repeating the word ‘sorry’ over and over again but unfortunately for him, your friends shoved him away from you. and as you were pulled away from the one you once called the love of your life, you gave him one last gaze and he's in there, in another woman's embrace. as if you didn't mean anything to him at all. you choked in your own tears, “𝙢𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙞 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣'𝙩, 𝙢𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙡. 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙖𝙢 𝙞 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙬𝙖𝙮?” you muttered to yourself. after arriving to one of the comfort rooms of the mall, one of your friends handed you a box of tissues, where did she get those? welp frick frack it, who cares? you need them tissues so you snatched it from her and tried to force a teasing smile, trying to act like yourself but to no avail. she sighed but smiled back
“𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘁, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝘂𝗴𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲.” you playfully slapped her arm and thanked her for the tissues. you started wiping everywhere. you were an absolute mess. you never felt so insecure. you look so ugly and you felt so... disgusting. images of that girl with banri flooded your mind. she was beautiful, maybe even smoking hot, she had pouty lips, long eyelashes, thin waist and everything. and you? what do you have? a great personality. is that enough? no, definitely it's not, especially for men like banri. you stared at yourself in the mirror, tears blurring your vision once again.
“𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙗𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡? 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝?...” you whispered, enough for only you to hear. suddenly as you were deep in your envy hole, your phone started to ring. you knew this ringtone, it was the cuppy cake song. the one you always sang for banri whenever he wanted to sleep while using your lap as his pillow after their rehearsals and practices in the mankai company. you remembered how masumi was whining at izumi that he wanted to do whatever you and banri were doing together infront of them. while reminiscing, you didn't notice how your hand was snaking in your purse to get your phone. you answered the call without thinking and was greeted by a screaming banri, not the playful scream she was used to. but an angry scream, no— not angry. he was furious.
“𝘄𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗡𝗢𝗪?!!” you flinched at his tone. you gulped and clenched your fist, weren't you the one who was supposed to be angry? you were the one who was cheated on, not him. so what was he acting like that for?
“𝙬𝙃𝙔 𝘼𝙍𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙎𝘾𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝘼𝙏 𝙈𝙀?! 𝙄'𝙈 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙊𝙉𝙀 𝙒𝙃𝙊'𝙎 𝙎𝙐𝙋𝙋𝙊𝙎𝙀𝘿 𝙏𝙊 𝙎𝙉𝘼𝙋 𝙊𝙐𝙏! 𝙄....” your voiced cracked, tears started falling again. you felt helpless, trapped like you fell in a void with nobody to be your hero. a pregnant silence passed. you had so many things to say. you wanted to know why he thought it was cool to date two girls at once. why he was kissing another girl other than you even though he promised that you were the only one for him, even buying you promise rings. but no words left your lips.
“𝗟𝗼𝗼𝗸... 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝗲, 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗹, 𝗶𝗺 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆... 𝗶 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻. 𝗶 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗶 𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗿—” you chuckled bitterly at his weak attempt of an apology.
“𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚. 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙖 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚. 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩 𝙢𝙚? 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞'𝙙 𝙜𝙤 𝙬𝙃𝙤𝙊 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙, 𝙞 𝙖𝙢 𝙨𝙤 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮.” you heard his gasp from the other line, he has never heard your sassy side before. you had always been his sweet angel, his fluffball. he was left speechless.
“𝗶'𝗺 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆, 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗹. 𝗶 𝗱𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗶 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀...” was the only thing he could say.
“𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁? 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲. 𝗶'𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗮 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗻, 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲. 𝗶 𝗯𝗲𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂” his voice was cracking, he was definitely crying, it made you feel like crying too. it made you think for a second, to forget what you saw and continue to love him but as you were thinking about it the picture of him kissing that girl in that shop hit you. no... you can't continue like this. you can't be happy like this.
“𝙞𝙢 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙧𝙞, 𝙞 𝙙𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪... 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙞 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪” you cried, you could almost hear your heart shattering, hearing your own words and banri's soft cries from the phone.
“𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆— 𝗻𝗼 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲. 𝗶 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗲𝗿. 𝗶 𝗱𝗼𝗻𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿, 𝗶 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗬𝗢𝗨. 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿? 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝘄𝗼, 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁? 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂? 𝗶'𝗺 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘂𝗽 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶'𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗺. 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆'𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲— 𝗹𝗲𝘁'𝘀 𝗴𝗼 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀. 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝗼𝗳 𝘂𝘀, 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗵?” he was stammering, you wanted to tell him that you were in the second floor's bathroom, just infront of that candy story you loved so much but you knew what your friends would do to him once he tries to get near you. they would murder him with words and push him away. if he doesn't listen they'll go on combat mode and you never really liked violence.
“𝙞 𝙒𝘼𝙎 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙬𝙤. 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞'𝙢 𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙬. 𝙞'𝙢 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙧𝙞, 𝙞 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬. 𝙞'𝙢 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮” and with that you ended the call, blocked him and went to one of your friends’ car as they drove you home. banri was still in the mall, eyes reddened as he bawled his eyes out after that conversation with you. he was hopelessly looking for you until yuki and kazunari spotted him and forced him to come back home and call it a day. he tried to go to your own apartment, basically kicking off the door, thankfully one of the old ladies who lived somewhere near your apartment spotted him and asked him to leave. you never left your home and never touched your phone which was bombarded with messages from people from the mankai company, asking if you were okay. you felt somewhat soft knowing that they have warmed up to you as you were always visiting and helping them whenever you could. you helped them cook once when omi was doing a late night photoshoot, tsuzuru visited home and everyone else wanted something else than izumi's famous curry. you lent a hand to tzusuru when he was writing a script for the winter troupe and it ended up bomb. you remembered how proud and how bright banri's smile as he kept repeating ‘that's my girlfriend's work. ofcourse it's perfect’, tears left your eyes as you punched yourself internally.
“𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙞𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙮? 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙞𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙡?”
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Red strings
Pairing:Bernadetta x reader
Gender of reader:male
Word count:1004
Genre:angst,fluff
Warnings:slight angst,huge spoilers,abusive family mention,war and death (It’s 3H so yeah)
Plot summary:Bernadetta and Y/N were friends who secretly liked each other before the war on the monastery.Byleth has sided with Dimitri in and didn’t recruit Bernadetta in this AU.They have tasked the reader to take over an imperial fortress being guarded by Bernadetta while he works on attacking another fortress with another group of soldiers.
A/N:For those of you who can stand angst but only with happy endings (that’s me, ha) don’t worry, there is a good ending. By the way while the reader is male (I wrote this for a friend who selfships with Bernadetta), I refer to Byleth as ‘they’ so you can choose if it’s M or F Byleth, depending on who you see canon or whatever. And one last thing, because Byleth sided with Dimitri, Edelgard is well, written as ‘being in the wrong’ here. It’s for narrative purposes!Nothing against Edelgard fans, and I’m actually working on an Edelgard fic so she will be written as ‘being in the right’ there!
Bernadetta looked at the army coming towards them at the top of the tower, struggling not to break into tears. No, she couldn’t cry, not now. Edelgard had trusted he with the defense of the tower and she wasn’t planning on failing her. Ever since their professor had returned from the dead and joined the ranks of Dimitri, the empire had been driven back harshly. She knew this was probably suicide and this tower would be taken over, but she wasn’t going down without a fight.
“A-a-lright everyone!” she said turning to her soldiers. God damn it, she still found it hard to talk to others, let alone command an army. “I h-h-hope everyone is ready for this!Drive them back!”
A loud cheer was heard in the crowd, but that didn’t help her mood at all. She hated war. Was this all truly worth it?She felt stupid for thinking it but couldn’t they just all sit down and...talk it out?Was all this innocent blood being spilled the best way? Well, there was no turning back now...Not even if she had to face her former classmates.
Eventually, the enemy arrived, commanded by no other than Y/N. Oh god, did it have to be him?Did Byleth have to send him in specific?Bernadetta’s heart broke right there and then. Truth is, even after all these years and being in opposite sides, she couldn’t get over the feelings she had always had for him. Truth is...if she was to die, she would at least get to see him one last time. Truly bittersweet.
What she didn’t know is that he felt the same way about her and well, about everything. Perhaps...just perhaps he could spare her and convince her to leave Edelgard. The empress...her heart was on the right place. Rhea was a wolf in sheep’s clothing and the way crests controlled society was unfair, but this wasn’t the way to go about it. To just outright destroy the church and declare war on everyone?Not only that, she had endangered the whole monastery when she had decided to strike a bargain with those who slither in the dark. Bernadetta wasn’t oblivious to all of this and knew Edelgard wasn’t a villain, but wasn’t exactly the good guy either. Yet...this is what destiny had chosen for her. She had been born in the empire and as such has no other choice but to fight for them. How cruel life could be.
They both had to force themselves to cast those thoughts aside as the battle began. There was no room for them now. As expected, the imperial forces were no match and were constantly driven back, now almost cornered against the stone of their own fortress they had sworn to protect for Edelgard. Soon, there were barely any left. They refused to surrender though, fighting for their side until their very last breath.
The purple haired archer was left alone, back against the walls of the tower with nobody left to fight for her. This was it...huh?This is how it all ended. In an uncontested defeat, by the hand of the ones she used to be able to call friends.
‘Oh Bernie, you always knew you weren’t really cut out for this…’ she thought to herself, tears finally falling through her pale cheeks as she closed her eyes, just waiting to be executed. But the enemy arrow, blade or spell never came.
“Bernadetta” a familiar voice called out in a warm tone.
The woman opened her eyes to see Y/N standing in front of her, holding out his hand.
“It doesn’t have to end like this. Our professor told me to give you a chance if you surrendered, Varley.” he said. ‘Please say yes’ he hoped in silence. He wouldn’t be able to bring himself to slay her.
Bernadetta almost didn’t believe it. Was she dead and this was merely a heaven created by the goddess, who turned out to exist after all? No, no it wasn’t. Life was really giving her a second chance to be with the one she loved and the side she wanted to aid. Oh by the goddess…
“H-h-how could I refuse?” she managed to speak up, a smile slowly forming on her face.
~*~
It was finally over, the war against the empire. With Dimitri as king and Byleth as archbishop, a future with a fair church and a great ruler was assured, and things were looking bright for everyone, especially for a certain couple of individuals.
Spending time with Y/N had greatly helped Bernadetta with her confidence, and he was one of the few that she could trust and were allowed to enter her room. Quite the development, honestly. She planned to take it even further, confessing her feelings. She had waited for far too long. With the war and her abusive, strict father out of the way, she was free to do as she pleased. And well, her heart wanted him. She...had never felt this way before about anyone, and even with her shyness, she couldn’t hold back any longer.
The two were walking through some fancy gardens, talking about whatever. Her heart sped up by the second in anticipation and she felt a heavy weight in her chest. She had to let it out, but she was so so nervous!She almost felt like she was about to faint at any second now. Better do it now, get it over with.
“Y-Y/N, hey!” she said, her face getting all red already
“Yeah?” he said, turning to her
“I-I-I like you a lot!” she said, handing him a flower.
He was surprised to say the least. He hadn’t expected her to be the one to confess first, and had been planning to say it himself soon…
“What?Really?!” he said and he couldn’t help but hug her, embracing her in his arms at last.
“Y-yeah, really!” she said, smiling.
As it turns out, destiny isn’t always cruel.
#bernadetta von varley#bernadetta x reader#bernadetta von varley x reader#fe3#fe3h x reader#fire emblem#fire emblem x reader#three houses spoilers#fire emblem three houses x reader#fe fic#fe fics#fire emblem fic#fire emblem fics#bernadetta 3h#3h bernadetta
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Hi my Tumblr Peeps😃I'm in a writing mood again. I was gonna sleep,but I couldn't sleep,so I figured I'd write while I wait to sleep. This fanfic will be different from every fanfic I've written for atleast a few reasons. *Note: This fanfic contains one or more spoilers,so if you don't want to see any spoilers until after "The Paranormal Liberation War Arc", scroll along for now until that arc is over.* Anyways this time I'm gonna write about non other than My Hero Academia's very own Midnight.
I Wish I Was Here When You Needed Me, Especially Here(Nemuri Kayama,aka,Midnight x Any Gender Reader)
Genre:Angst
You had someone very, special to you. Her name was Nemuri Kayama,but the hero name she goes by is Midnight. in first sight you knew she was very special. She was like nobody else you had ever known or even met.
Whenever you and Midnight don't have any pro hero duties, you and Midnight hang out at places (she and/or you like),even the park. However when you and Midnight get a pro hero mission together you get very excited. You always look forward to being around Midnight, weather it's hanging out with eachother whenever neither you or Midnight have or having pro hero missions together and you always had a blast.
Then one night you were in a city far away from Midnight,as you were looking for gifts that Midnight might love to surprise her with. You found some gifts that Midnight would adore very much. You even found her favorite flowers and a ring she might like. As you were in a long line to get the last item you planned on getting her your cellphone rings. You picked up your cellphone and you hear Midnight's voice.
"(Any Gender Reader Name).Come quick!This is important!We have a job for you!", Midnight shouted. You remembered that everytime you were in the middle of something, she calls and she wants something,weather it's to mop the UA floors,take out the trash, come to spend the night with her,or when she's having headaches and you dropped whatever you were doing just to do something she asks, because she knows you couldn't say no, you thought. Then you decided you wanna get your shopping done first and nothing will stop you this time.
So you answered,"I couldn't this time, Midnight.I appreciate the call and you asking,but whatever you're asking, I can't do this time, and I have a busy schedule right now. Sorry.".Then Midnight tried telling you it's important and its an emergency and that you are needed for this dangerous mission. You then madesure she takes a no for an answer this time as you said in a cheery voice,"I'm sorry I can't this time. You will thank me later bye.",then you hung up on her and she was frustrated with you.
She meant what she was trying to tell you and at the time she was fighting in "The Paranormal Liberation War". When she got frustrated with you, because you failed to realize what she's been trying to tell and hanging up on her afterwards,so she gave up on asking you for help and fight in this war without you, wondering why you told her no like you did and hung up on her. "(Any Gender Reader Name), why didn't you listen what I tried to tell you",she said to herself under her breath, while still frustrated with you,as she went into battle in "The Paranormal Liberation War".
Hours later, you've finally managed to cash out to get the the last item out of all of the items you planned on surprising her with.You were so excited to get her all this stuff you planned on surprising her with, failing to realize what,Midnight tried to tell you and what was happening after she tried to warn you about.You finally left the store in glee and you rode the bus leaving the city far away from,Midnight.You were so happy you got the stuff for her at the time.
More and more hours went by after "The Paranormal Liberation War" ended and you were finally at the UA building looking for Midnight to surprise her with all this stuff you got for her. Then you saw one of the UA students, Eijiro Kirishima.He looks very down, so you went to see why he looks so sad.
You then asked,"What's wrong, Kirishima? Why so sad?".Then he muttered as he sobbed,"Midnight's... Midnight's dead.". You were shocked as you silently gasped. You dropped everything you wanted to surprise Midnight with,then you dropped you your knees. Afterwards you asked in tears,"How's this possible. Why did she die.",then you kept sobbing as Kirishima explained the best as he could about her death. "And she told me she tried telling it's an emergency and this is an important mission you needed to be part of and we needed you and this other stuff.", Kirishima continued.
When you heard what Kirishima said you then realized you weren't here when she needed you for this war. "So this is what she meant by it. Not only I had failed to realize what Midnight has been trying to tell me,but I have also failed to protect her, to be here for her especially when she needed me, and I basically failed Midnight in general",you thought as you sobbed,"Now she's dead because of me not being here",as you started to break down.".You began to realize what she's been trying to tell you when it's too late. All you felt was guilt and blamed only yourself for Midnight's death.
Days later when no one was at at the cemetery,you went there to go to Midnight's grave not only to put the stuff you wanted to surprise her with at her grave,but you also wanted to apologise for what happened that night of war. You've set everything you got for her, including the ring you got for her and the flowers you bought for her. Then you stood back up and started to talk.
You then said your last words to Midnight "This is the stuff I got for you, while I was out of town far away from UA. I actually wanted to surprise you with all this stuff you might like. I even got you flowers. And this ring I got for you. I wanted to surprise you with all of this, also because I wanted to marry you someday. So this is what you tried to tell me. So if I would have known what trying to surprise you costed me, I would have never went to the city far away from here that day.",you began to sob,"I'm so sorry for not listening to you and not realizing what you were trying to actually tell me and now you died, all because of me and not realizing what you were trying to tell me and now I won't be able to live with myself for this whole thing." Then you continued as you started to break down,"I wish I didn't leave town to go far away from you and I wish I had listened to you. I don't know if sorry will cut it,however from now on I will never make that mistake ever again. Good bye, Midnight my love, and I love you dearly and I will always love you.". After you've calmed down from breaking down you left the cemetery with nothing,but guilt, sorry, and self-blame over Midnight's death.
The End
*Note for those who read the manga or don't mind spoilers I wanted to write about Midnight as a tribute for her. For those who waited until after "The Paranormal Liberation War Arc" I will tell you the same thing. To all the other fans of My Hero Academia I will say the same thing. So to anyone, especially to my Tumblr Peeps who have read this fanfic thank you for reading this and I hope you enjoy this fanfic.RIP Midnight🌹You are (or will be)missed dearly🌹
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Now 2~Gdragon Pt.30
Genre:Angst/SMUT
Rated:NSFW
Pairing: GD X Reader
wordcount:7,138
Masterlist
DISCLAIMER!:remember this is just an edit of an original book called after by anna todd i do not own this book!
Y/N POV
Nine days. Nine days have gone by without a single word from Jiyong. I didn’t think it was possible for me to go a single day without speaking to him, let alone nine. It feels like one hundred, honestly, though each hour does hurt microscopically less than the prior one. It hasn’t been easy, not even close to that. Ken made a call to Mr. Vance asking that I be allowed to take the rest of the week off, which only meant missing one day anyway.
I know I’m the one who left, the one who walked away, but it kills me that he hasn’t even tried to get in touch with me. I have always given more in the relationship, and this was his chance to show me how he truly feels. I guess in a way he’s showing me—it’s just that what he feels is the opposite of what I had desperately wanted. Needed.
I know that Jiyong loves me, I do. However, I also know that if he loves me as much as I thought he did, he would have made it a point to show me by now. He said he wasn’t going to let this go, but he did. He let it go, and he let me go. The part that scares me the most is that the first week I was walking around completely lost. I was lost without Jiyong. Lost without his witty comments. Lost without his crude remarks. Lost without his assurance and his confidence. Lost without the way he’d sometimes draw circles on my hand while holding it between his, the way he’d kiss me for no reason and smile at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. I don’t want to be lost without him; I want to be strong. I want my days and nights to be just the same whether I’m alone or not. I’m beginning to suspect I may always be alone, as dramatic as the thought seems; I wasn’t happy with Noah, yet Jiyong and I didn’t work. Maybe I’m like my mother in that way. Maybe I’m better off alone.
I didn’t want it to be over this way, so cut-and-dried. I wanted to talk about everything, I wanted him to answer my calls so we could come to some sort of agreement. I just needed space, I needed a break from him to show him that I’m not his doormat. It backfired on me because he obviously doesn’t care as much as I thought he did. Maybe this was his plan all along: get me to break up with him. I’ve known a few girls who go that route when leaving their boyfriends.
During the first day I did expect a call, text, or hell, I really expected Jiyong to come bursting through the door screaming at the top of his lungs and causing a scene while his family and I sat in the dining room in silence, no one quite sure what to say to me. When that didn’t happen, I lost it. Not crying-in-the-corner, feeling-sorry-for-myself lost it. I mean I lost myself. Every second I lived in anticipation of Jiyong coming back to grovel for my forgiveness. I almost gave in that day. I almost went back to the apartment. I was ready to tell him to hell with marriage, I don’t care if he lies to me every day and doesn’t respect me, as long as he never leaves me. Thankfully, I snapped out of that and salvaged some respect for myself.
Day three was the worst. Day three was when the realization really began to hit me. Day three was when I finally spoke after three days of near silence, having only muttered a simple yes or no to Taeyang or Karen during their awkward attempts to engage me in conversation. The only sounds that actually came out were a strangled sob and a choppy explanation through tears of why my life would be better, easier, without him that even I didn’t believe. Day three was when I finally looked in the mirror at my dirty and bruised face, my eyes swollen to the point of barely opening. Day three was when I fell to the floor, finally praying to God to make the pain disappear. No one can handle this pain, I told Him. Not even me. Day three I called him, I couldn’t help myself. I told myself that if he answers we would work it out and both come to a compromise, apologizing profusely and promising to never leave each other again. Instead, I got his voicemail after two rings, proving that he rejected the call.
Day four, I slipped and called him again. This time he had the courtesy to let it ring to voicemail instead of pressing ignore. Day four was when I realized how much more I actually care for him than he does me. Day four was when I spent the entire day in bed reliving the few times he actually told me how he felt about me. I began to realize that most of our relationship and how I portrayed his feelings for me in my mind was just that . . . in my mind. I began to realize that while I was thinking we could do this, we could make this work forever, he wasn’t thinking about me at all.
That was the day I decide to join the ranks of normal teenagers and had Taeyang show me how to download music onto my phone. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. Over one hundred songs were added, and headphones were put in my ears and barely removed for almost twenty-four hours. The music helps a lot. To hear about other people’s pain reminds me that I’m not the only one to suffer in life. I’m not the only one who loved someone who didn’t love them enough to fight for them.
Day five was when I finally showered and attempted to go to class. I went to yoga, hoping that I could handle the memories it would evoke. I felt strange walking around in a sea of cheery college students. I used all the energy I had in hoping that I wouldn’t run into Jiyong on campus. I was past the stage of wanting him to call. I managed to drink half of my coffee that morning, and Taeyang told me that the color was coming back into my cheeks. No one seemed to notice me, and that was exactly what I wanted. Professor Soto assigned us to write down our biggest fears when it comes to life and how they relate to faith and God. “Are you afraid to die?” he asked us. Aren’t I already dead? I answered silently.
Day six was a Tuesday. I began to speak in sentences, broken sentences that usually didn’t relate to the subject at hand, but no one had the heart to call me out on it. I returned to Vance. Kimberly couldn’t meet my eyes for the first part of the day, but she finally attempted to have a conversation, which I couldn’t bring myself to participate in. She mentioned a dinner, and I reminded myself to ask her again when I can think straight. The day was spent staring at the first page of a manuscript that, no matter how many times I read and reread it, wouldn’t soak in. I ate that day, more than just the rice or a banana I had in the days before. Karen made a ham—I only noticed because it reminded me that she made one for the dinner Jiyong and I had here in the beginning. The images from that night, the picture of him sitting next to me and holding my hand under the table, sent me back into my tragic state, making me spend the night in the bathroom vomiting up the small bit of food I had consumed.
As day seven dragged on I began to imagine what would happen if I didn’t have to feel this pain anymore. What if I just disappeared? The thought terrified me—not because of my death, but because my mind was capable of going to such a dark place. That thought snapped me out of my downward spiral and brought me to the closest thing to reality my mind can handle. I changed my shirt and vowed to never step foot in Jiyong’s bedroom again, no matter what happened. I began to look up apartments that I could afford close to Vance, and online classes at SCU. I enjoy academics too much to close myself off and take online classes, so I ultimately decided against it, but I found a few apartments to look into.
Day eight I smiled, briefly, but everyone noticed. Day eight was the first morning that I grabbed my usual donut and coffee when I arrived at Vance. I kept it down and even went back for more. I saw Trevor, who told me I looked beautiful despite my wrinkled clothes and hollow eyes. Day eight was the shift, day eight was the first day that only half of my time was spent wishing that things had gone differently between Jiyong and me. I heard Ken and Karen discussing Jiyong’s birthday in a few days, and I was surprised to only feel a slight burn in my chest at the sound of his name.
Day nine is today.
“I’ll be downstairs!” Taeyang calls through the door of “my” bedroom.
No one has even mentioned me leaving, or where I would go if I did. I’m grateful for it, but at the same time I know my presence will eventually be a burden. Taeyang keeps assuring me that I can stay as long as I need to, and Karen reminds me how much she enjoys my company multiple times a day. But at the end of the day, they’re Jiyong’s family. I want to make a move forward, decide where I should go and where I should live, and I’m no longer afraid.
I cannot, and refuse to, spend another day crying over a dishonest boy with tattoos who doesn’t love me anymore.
When I see Taeyang downstairs, he’s taking a large bite of a bagel; a dab of cream cheese rests in the corner of his mouth and his tongue darts out to retrieve it. “Morning.” He smiles, his cheek full and eyes wide.
“Morning,” I repeat and pour a glass of water.
He continues to stare at me while I sip my water. “What?” I finally ask him.
“You . . . well . . . you look great,” he says.
“Thank you. I decided to shower and come back from the dead,” I joke, and he smiles slowly as if he’s unsure about my mental state. “Really, it’s fine,” I assure him, and he takes another bite of his bagel, finishing it.
I decide to put one in the toaster for myself and try not to notice Taeyang staring at me like I’m an animal in a zoo.
“I’m ready whenever you are,” I tell him after finishing my breakfast.
“ Y/N , you look so gorgeous today!” Karen exclaims when she enters the kitchen.
“Thank you.” I smile at her.
Today’s the first day that I’ve taken the time to get ready, really ready and presentable. The last eight days I have gone far away from my usual neat appearance. Today I feel like myself. My new self. My “After Jiyong” self. Day nine is my day.
“That dress is flattering.” Karen compliments me again.
The yellow dress that Trish got me for Christmas fits well and it’s very casual. I’m not going to make the same mistake as last time and attempt to wear heels to classes, so my Toms it is. Half of my hair is pinned back, with a few loose curls tapering over my face. My makeup is subtle, but I think it suits me well. My eyes burned slightly as I dragged the brown liner underneath my eye . . . makeup surely wasn’t on my list of priorities during my downward spiral.
“Thank you so much.” I smile again.
“Have a great day.” Karen smiles, clearly surprised but very pleased at my return to the real world.
This must be what it’s like to have a caring mother, someone to send you off to school with kind and encouraging words. Someone unlike my mother.
My mother . . . I have dodged all calls from her, and thankfully so. She was the last person I wanted to speak to, but now that I can breathe without wanting to rip my heart from my chest, I actually want to call her.
“Oh, Y/N , will you be riding with us to Christian’s house on Sunday?” Karen asks just as I reach the door.
“Sunday?”
“The dinner they’re having to celebrate their move to Seattle?” she tells me as if I should know this already. “Kimberly said she told you about it? If you don’t want to go, I know they’ll understand,” she assures me.
“No, no. I want to go. I’ll ride with you.” I smile. I am ready for this. I can be in public, in a social setting, without cracking. My subconscious is mute for the first time in nine days, and I thank her before following Taeyang outside.
The weather mirrors my mood, sunny and somewhat warm for the end of January. “Are you going on Sunday?” I ask him once we get in the car.
“No, I’m leaving tonight, remember?” he replies.
“What?”
He looks at me with a wrinkled brow. “I’m going to New York for the weekend. Dakota is moving into her apartment there. I told you a few days ago.”
“I’m so sorry, I should’ve paid more attention to you instead of making it all about me,” I tell him. I can’t believe how selfish I’ve been to not even pay attention to him telling me about Dakota’s move to New York.
“No, it’s okay. I only briefly mentioned it, anyway. I didn’t want to rub it in your face when you were . . . well, you know.”
“A zombie?” I finish for him.
“Yes, a very scary zombie,” he jokes, and I smile for the fifth time in nine days. It feels nice.
“When will you be back?” I ask Taeyang .
“Monday morning. I’ll miss Religion, but I’ll be there right after.”
“Wow, that’s exciting. New York will be incredible.” I would love to escape, to get out of here for a while.
“I was worried about going and leaving you here,” he tells me, and guilt fills me.
“Don’t be! You already do way too much for me; it’s time I do things for myself. I don’t want you to ever think about not doing something for yourself because of me. I’m so sorry that I made you feel that way,” I tell him.
“It’s not your fault, it’s his,” he reminds me, and I nod.
My headphones go back into my ears, and Taeyang smiles.
IN RELIGION, PROFESSOR SOTO chooses the subject of pain. For a moment I swear he’s done it on my behalf, to torture me, but when I begin to write about how pain can cause people to turn to or away from their faith and God, I’m thankful for this torture. My entry ends up being filled with thoughts about how pain can change you, how pain can make you much stronger, and in the end you don’t need faith as much. You need yourself. You need to be strong and not allow pain to push you or pull you into anything.
I end up going back to the coffeehouse before yoga to acquire more energy. On my way back to yoga I pass the environmental studies building and my mind goes to Seungri. I wonder if he’s in there now. I assume he is, but I don’t have a clue about his schedule.
Before I can overthink it, I go inside. I have a little time before my class begins, and it’s less than a five-minute walk from here.
I look around the large lobby of the building. Just like I might have expected, large trees fill most of the massive space. Sticking to the theme, the ceiling is mostly skylights, giving the illusion that it’s almost nonexistent.
“ Y/N ?”
I turn, and indeed, there is Seungri, wearing a lab coat and thick safety goggles on top of his head that push his hair back.
“Hey . . .” I say.
He smiles. “What are you doing in here? Did you change your major?”
I adore the way his tongue hides behind his teeth when he smiles, I always have. “I was looking for you, actually.”
“You were?” He seems astounded.
Jiyong POV
Nine days.
Nine days have gone by without speaking to Y/N . I didn’t think it was possible for me to go a single day without speaking to her, let alone nine fucking days. It feels like one thousand, and each hour is more painful than the last.
When she left the apartment that night, I waited and waited to hear her footsteps rush through the door, and I waited for her voice to begin screaming at me. It didn’t come. I sat on the floor waiting and waiting. It never came. She never came.
I finished the beer in my fridge and smashed the evidence against the wall. The next morning when I woke up and she was still gone, I packed my shit. I got on a plane to get the fuck out of Seoul. If she was going to come back, it would have been that night. I needed to get out of there and get some space. With alcohol on my breath and stains on my white T-shirt, I left for the airport. I didn’t call my mum before I got there; it’s not like she had anything going on anyway.
If Y/N calls me before I get on the flight, I’ll turn around. But if not, then too bad, I kept thinking. She had her chance to come back to me. She does every other time, no matter what I do, so why is this time so different? It’s not like I did anything, really; I lied to her, but it was a small-ass lie and she overreacted.
If anyone should be pissed off, it’s me. She brought Seungrito my fucking house. On top of that, Taeyang comes barging in like the fucking Hulk and slams me into the wall? What the actual fuck.
This whole situation is utterly fucked up and it’s not my fault. Well, maybe it is, but she can come crawling back to me, not the other way around. I love her, but I’m not making the first move.
Day one was spent mostly on the airplane sleeping off my hangover. I got many dirty looks from snobby-ass flight attendants and assholes in business suits, but I could give a fuck less. They don’t mean shit to me. I took a cab to my mum’s and nearly choked the driver. Who charges that much for a fucking ten-mile cab ride?
My mum was shocked and happy to see me. She cried for a few minutes, but thankfully she stopped when Mike appeared. Apparently the two of them have begun to move her things into his house, and she plans on selling hers. I don’t give a shit about that house, so it’s no skin off my back. That place is full of shit memories with my drunk asshole of a dad.
It’s nice to be able to think these things without Y/N’s influence. I would feel slightly guilty being rude to my mum and her boyfriend if Y/N were here with me.
So thank God she isn’t.
Day two was exhausting as shit. I spent the entire afternoon listening to my mum talk about her plans for the summer and dodged her questions about why I’m home. I kept telling her if I wanted to talk about it I would. I came here for some goddamn peace, and all I get is more annoyance. I ended up at the pub down the street by eight. A pretty brunette with the same color eyes as Y/N smiled at me and offered me a drink that night. I declined somewhat politely, my kindness only coming out because of the color of her eyes. The longer I stared at them, the more I realized they weren’t the same as Y/N ’s. They were dull and held no life behind them. Y/N’s eyes are the most intriguing shade of gray that appears blue at first glance, until you really look at them. They’re nice, as far as eyes go. Why the fuck am I sitting at a pub thinking about eyeballs? Fuck.
I saw the disappointment in my mum’s eyes when I stumbled through the door after two in the morning, but I did my best to ignore it, mumbling a shit apology before forcing my way up the stairs.
Day three was when it started. Small thoughts of Y/N kept sneaking in at the most random times. While watching my mum hand-wash the dishes, I thought of Y/N loading the dishwasher constantly, making sure there was never a single dirty dish lying in the sink.
“We’re going to the fair today. Would you like to come?” my mum asked.
“No.”
“Please, Jiyong , you’re here visiting, and you’ve barely spoken to me or spent any time with me.”
“No, Mum.” I dismiss her.
“I know why you’re here,” she said softly.
I slammed my cup down on the table and stormed out of the kitchen.
I knew she would catch on that I was running, hiding really, from reality. I’m not sure what type of reality there is without Y/N , but I’m not ready to deal with the shit, so why does she have to pester me about it? If Y/N doesn’t want to be with me, then to hell with her. I don’t need her—I am better off alone, the way I had planned to be all along.
Seconds later my phone rang, but I ignored the call as soon as I saw her name. Why did she call me? To tell me she hates me or she needs her name off the lease, I was sure.
Goddammit, Jiyong, why did you do that? I kept asking myself. I didn’t have a good enough answer.
Day four began the worst way possible.
“ Jiyong , go upstairs!” she’s begging. No, not this again. One of the men slaps her across her face and she looks at the staircase; her eyes meet mine and I scream. Y/N .
“ Jiyong! Wake up, Jiyong ! Please wake up!” my mum screamed and shook me awake.
“Where is she? Where’s Y/N ?” I choked, sweat soaking my skin.
“She isn’t here, Jiyong .”
“But they . . .” It took me a moment to collect my thoughts and realize it was only a nightmare. The same nightmare I’ve had my entire life, only this time it was so much worse. My mother’s face was replaced with Y/N’s.
“Shhh . . . it’s okay. It was only a dream.” My mum cried and tried to hug me, but I gently pushed her arms back.
“No, I’m fine,” I assured her and told her to leave me alone.
I lay awake for the rest of the night trying to get the image out of my head, but I couldn’t.
Day four continued just as it started. My mum ignored me all day, which I thought I would want but it turned out I was sort of . . . lonely. I began to miss Y/N. I kept finding myself looking next to me to talk to her, to wait for her to say something that was sure to make me smile. I wanted to call her, my finger traced over that green button over one hundred times, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I can’t give her what she wants, and that isn’t going to be good enough for her. It’s better this way. I spent the afternoon looking up how much it would cost me to move my shit back here to England. This is where I’m going to end up anyway, so I might as well get it over with.
We would never work, Y/N and me. I always knew we wouldn’t last. We couldn’t. It wasn’t possible for us to be together always. She’s too damn good for me and I know it. Everyone knows it. I see the way people turn to stare at us everywhere we go, and I know they’re wondering why that beautiful girl is with me.
I had been staring at my phone while downing a half bottle of whiskey for hours before I turned off the light and fell asleep. I thought I heard the buzzing of my phone on the nightstand, but I was too drunk to sit up and answer. The nightmare came again; this time Y/N’s nightgown was soaked in blood and she cried for me to go away, to leave her there on that couch.
Day five I woke up to a flashing red light on my phone indicating that yet again I’d missed her call, only this time it wasn’t intentional. Day five was when I stared at her name on the screen before looking at picture after picture of her. When did I take so many? I hadn’t realized how many pictures I had snapped without her paying any mind.
While looking through the pictures, I kept remembering the way her voice sounds. I never liked American accents—they bore me and they’re annoying—but Y/N’s voice is perfect. Her accent is perfect, and I could listen to her speak all day, every single day. Will I ever hear her voice again?
This one’s my favorite, I thought at least ten times while looking through the photos. I finally settled on a picture of her lying on her stomach on the bed, her legs crossed in the air and her hair down, tucked behind her ear. She had her chin resting on one of her hands and her lips slightly parted as she took in the words in front of her on the screen of her e-reader. I snapped the picture the moment she caught me staring, the exact moment that a smile, the most beautiful smile, appeared on her face. She looked so happy to be looking at me in this picture. Does . . . well, did she always look at me that way?
That day, day five, was when the weight appeared on my chest. A constant reminder of what I’d done, and most likely lost. I should have called her that day while staring at her pictures. Did she stare at my pictures? She only has one to this day, and ironically I found myself wishing I’d have allowed her to take more. Day five was when I threw my phone against the wall in hopes of smashing it, but only cracked the screen. Day five was when I desperately wished she would call me. If she called me, then it would be okay, everything would be okay. We’d both apologize and I’d go home. If she was the one to call me, then I wouldn’t feel guilty for coming back into her life. I wondered if she was feeling the same way I was. Was every day getting harder for her? Did every second without me make it harder for her to breathe?
I began to lose my appetite that day. I just wasn’t hungry. I missed her cooking, even the simple meals that she would make for me. Hell, I missed watching her eat. I missed every goddamn thing about that infuriating girl with kind eyes. Day five was when I finally broke down. I cried like a bitch and didn’t even feel bad about it. I cried and cried. I couldn’t stop. I tried desperately, but she wouldn’t leave my mind. She wouldn’t leave me alone; she kept appearing, she kept saying she loved me, and she kept hugging me, and when I realized it was my imagination, I cried again.
Day six I woke with swollen and bloodshot eyes. I couldn’t believe the way I’d broken down the previous night. The weight on my chest had magnified, and I could barely see straight. Why was I such a fuckup? Why did I continue to treat her like shit? She’s the first person who has ever been able to see me, inside of me, the real me, and I treated her like shit. I blamed her for everything, when in reality it was me. It was always me—even when I didn’t seem to be doing anything wrong, I was. I was rude to her when she tried to talk to me about things. I yelled at her when she called me out on my bullshit. And I lied to her repeatedly. She has forgiven me for everything, always. I could always count on that, and maybe that’s why I treated her the way I did, because I knew I could. I smashed my phone under my boot on day six. I went half the day without eating. My mum offered me oatmeal, but when I tried to force myself to eat it, it nearly came back up. I hadn’t showered since day three, and I was a fucking wreck. I tried to listen as my mum told me the few things she needed me to get from the store, but I couldn’t hear her. All I could think of was Y/N and her need to go to Conner’s at least five days a week.
Y/N once told me I ruined her. Now, as I sit here trying to focus, trying to just catch my breath, I know that she was wrong. She ruined me. She got inside me and fucked me up. I had spent years building those walls—my entire life, really—and here she came in and tore them down, leaving me with nothing but rubble.
“Did you hear me, Jiyong ? I made a small list in case you didn’t,” my mum said, handing me the frilly piece of stationery.
“Yes.” My voice was barely audible.
“Are you sure you’re okay to go?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m good.” I stood up and tucked the list into my dirty jeans.
“I heard you last night, Jiyong , if you want to—”
“Don’t, Mum. Please don’t.” I nearly choked on my words. My mouth was so dry and my throat was aching.
“Okay.” Her eyes were full of sadness as I walked out of the house to head to the store just down the road.
The list only consisted of a few items, yet I couldn’t remember any of them without digging the damn paper out of my pocket. I managed to corral the few things: bread, jam, coffee beans, and some fruit. Looking at all the food in the store made my empty stomach turn. I took an apple for myself and began to force myself to eat it. It tasted like cardboard, and I could feel the small pieces hitting the pit of my stomach as I paid the elderly woman at the cash register.
I walked outside and it began to snow. The snow made me think of her, too. Everything made me think of her. My head was aching with a headache that refused to go away. I rubbed my fingers over my temples with my free hand and crossed the street.
“ Jiyong ? Kwon Jiyong?” a voice called from the other side of the street. No. It couldn’t be.
“Is that you?” she asked again.
Natalie.
This couldn’t be happening, I kept thinking as she walked toward me with her hands full of shopping bags.
“Erm . . . hey,” was all I could say, my mind frantic, my palms already beginning to sweat.
“I thought you moved?” she asked.
Her eyes were bright, not lifeless like I remembered as she cried and begged for me to let her stay at my house when she had nowhere to go.
“I did . . . I’m only visiting,” I told her, and she set her bags on the sidewalk.
“Well, that’s good.” She smiled.
How could she be smiling at me after what I had done to her?
“Uh . . . yeah. How are you?” I forced myself to ask the girl whose life I ruined.
“I’m good, really good,” she chirped and ran her hands over her swollen belly.
Swollen belly? Oh God. No, wait . . . the time line didn’t add up. Holy shit, that scared me for a second.
“You’re pregnant?” I asked, hoping that she was so I hadn’t just insulted her.
“Yeah, six months along. And engaged!” She smiled again, holding her small hand up to show me a gold ring on her finger.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, it’s funny how things work out, isn’t it?” She tucked her brown hair behind her ear and looked into my eyes, which were circled with blue rings from lack of sleep.
Her voice was so sweet that it made me feel a thousand times worse. I couldn’t stop picturing her face as she caught all of us watching her on the small screen. She’d screamed, literally screamed, and ran from the room. I didn’t follow her, of course. I just laughed at her, laughed at her humiliation and her pain.
“I’m really sorry,” I blurted. It was strange, weird, and necessary. I expected her to call me names, to tell me how fucked up of a person I am, to punch me, even.
What I didn’t expect was for her to wrap her arms around me and tell me she forgave me.
“How can you forgive me? I was so fucked up. I ruined your life,” I said; my eyes were burning.
“No, you didn’t. Well, you did at first, but in a way, it all worked out in the end,” she said, and I nearly vomited on her green sweater.
“What?”
“After you . . . well, you know . . . I had nowhere to go, so I found a church, a new church since mine exiled me, and that’s where I met Elijah.” Her face instantly lit up at the mention of his name.
“And now here we are nearly three years later, engaged and expecting. Everything happens for a reason, I guess? Sounds cheesy, huh?” She giggled.
The sound reminded me that she was always such a sweet girl. I just hadn’t given a shit; her kindness made it easier to prey on her.
“I suppose it does, but I’m really glad you found someone. I’ve been thinking about you lately . . . you know . . . what I did, and I felt like shit about it. I know you’re happy now, but that doesn’t excuse what I did to you. It wasn’t until Y/N that I—” I cut myself off.
A little smile tweaked her lips. “ Y/N ?”
I nearly passed out from the pain. “She’s, um . . . well . . . she’s . . .” I stutter.
“She’s what? Your wife?” Natalie’s words cut straight to the core as her eyes searched my fingers for a band.
“No, she was . . . she was my girlfriend.”
“Oh. So you date now?” she half teased; she could sense my pain, I was sure.
“No . . . well, only her.”
“I see. And now she’s not your girlfriend anymore?”
“Nope.” I brought my fingers to my lip ring.
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope things work out for you, the way they have for me,” she said.
“Thank you. Congratulations on the engagement and . . . baby,” I said uncomfortably.
“Thank you! We expect to marry this summer.”
“So soon?”
“Well, we’ve been engaged for two years.” She laughed.
“Wow.”
“It was fast, soon after we met,” Natalie explained.
I felt like an asshole as soon as the words left my mouth, but I asked: “Aren’t you too young?”
But she just smiled. “I’m nearly twenty-one, and it doesn’t make sense to wait. I’ve been fortunate enough to find the person I want to spend my life with at a young age—why waste any more time when he’s right in front of me asking that I do just that. I’m honored that he wants to make me his wife; there’s no greater expression of love than that.” As she explained, I could hear Y/N’s voice saying the words instead.
“I guess you’re right,” I told her and she smiled.
“Oh, there he is! I have to go—I’m freezing and pregnant, not a good combination.” She laughed before picking her bags up off the sidewalk and greeting a man in a sweater vest and khakis. His smile when seeing his pregnant fiancée was so bright that I swore it lit up that dreary day in England.
Day seven was long. Every day has been long. I kept thinking of Natalie and her forgiveness; it couldn’t have come at a better time. Sure, I looked like hell and she knew it, but she was happy and in love. Pregnant, at that. I didn’t ruin her life the way I thought I had.
And I thank God for that.
I spent the whole day in bed. I couldn’t even bring myself to open the damned blinds. My mum and Mike were out all day, so I was left alone to sulk in my misery. Each day got worse. I constantly thought about what she was doing, who she was with. Was she crying? Was she lonely? Had she returned to our apartment to find me? Why hadn’t she called me again?
This isn’t the pain I had read about in novels. This pain isn’t just in my mind, this pain isn’t physical. This is a soul-aching pain, something that is ripping me apart from the inside out, and I don’t think I can survive it. No one could.
This must be how Y/N feels when I hurt her. I can’t imagine her fragile body withstanding this type of pain, but clearly she’s stronger than she appears. She has to be to put up with me. Her mum once told me that if I really cared about her I would leave her alone; I would hurt her anyway, she said.
She was right. I should have left her alone then. I should have left her alone from that first day she walked into that dorm room. I promised myself that I would rather die than hurt her again . . . this is what this is. This is dying, this is worse than dying. It hurts worse. It has to.
I spent day eight drinking, the entire day. I couldn’t stop. With each drink I prayed that her face would leave my mind, but it wouldn’t. It couldn’t.
You have to get your shit together, Jiyong . You have to. I have to. I really do.
“ Jiyong . . .” Y/N ’s voice sends chills down my spine.
“Babe . . .” she says.
When I look up at her, she’s sitting on my mum’s couch with a smile on her face and a book in her lap.
“Come here, please,” she whines as the door opens and a group of men step inside. No.
“There she is,” says the short man who torments my dreams each night.
“ Jiyong ?” Y/N begins to cry.
“Get away from her,” I warn them as they close in on her. They don’t seem to hear me.
Her nightgown is ripped off as she’s thrown to the floor. Wrinkled and dirt-stained hands travel up her thighs as she whimpers my name.
“Please . . . Jiyong , help me.” She looks to me, but I’m frozen.
I am immobile and unable to help her. I am forced to watch as they beat her and violate her until she’s lying on the floor silent and bloodied.
My mum didn’t wake me, no one did. I had to finish it, all of it, and when I woke up my reality was worse than any nightmare.
DAY NINE is today.
“Did you hear about Christian Vance moving to Seattle?” my mum asks me as I push the cereal around the bowl in front of me.
“Yeah.”
“That’s exciting, isn’t it? A new branch in Seattle.”
“I suppose it is.”
“He’s having a dinner party on Sunday. He thought you’d be there.”
“How do you know?” I ask her.
“He told me, we talk from time to time.” She looks away and refills her coffee mug.
“What for?”
“Because we can—now eat your cereal.” She scolds me like a child, but I don’t have the energy to come up with a snappy remark.
“I don’t want to go,” I tell her and force the spoon to my mouth.
“You may not see him again for a while.”
“So? I barely see him now anyway.”
She looks as if she has something else to say, but she keeps quiet.
“Have you got any aspirin?” I ask, and she nods before disappearing to retrieve some.
I don’t want to go to a stupid fucking dinner party celebrating Christian and Kimberly leaving for Seattle. I’m tired of everyone always talking about Seattle, and I know Y/N will be there. The pain at the idea of seeing her tackles me and nearly knocks me out of the chair. I have to stay away from her, I owe it to her. If I can stay here for a few more days, weeks even, we can both move on. She’ll find someone like Natalie’s fiancé, someone much better for her than me.
“I still think you should go,” my mum says again as I swallow the aspirin, knowing they won’t help.
“I can’t go, Mum . . . even if I wanted to. I would have to leave first thing in the morning and I’m not ready to leave.”
“You mean you aren’t ready to face what you left,” she says.
I can’t hold it in any longer. I bury my face in my hands as I let the pain take over, I let it drown me. I welcome it, and hope it kills me.
“ Jiyong . . .” My mum’s voice is quiet and comforting as she hugs me and I shake in her arms.
#gdragon#gdragon bigbang#bigbang gdragon#gdragon scenarios#gdradon#bigbang seungri#bigbang#top bigbang#t.o.p bigbang#bigbang fanfiction#bigbang smut#T.O.P#big bang T.O.P#bigbang t.o.p#kpop scenarios#kpop scenario#kpop smut#G Dragon#g dragon scenarios#Kang Daesung#g dragon bigbang#taeyang bigbang#VIP until whenever#Kwon Jiyong#kwon ji yong#kwon leader#kpop king#bigbang angst#kpop angst#kpop fluff
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Unhappy Marriage Pt 2~Yongguk Angst
*GIF is not mine credits to the owners.*
Okay I know I’m super duper late with this one, but college has been very stressful lately. But I’m really really sorry I didn’t get this out to you guys sooner! I hope you enjoy it!
Genre:Angst
Words:1.3k
You and Yongguk were planning your wedding.
It had been about six months since that night you saw him with another woman. You weren't sure if you wanted to go through with the wedding, but your mother kept hounding you to get married because she didn't want to miss your big day because she was getting to "old" now.
So you went through with the engagement, and now you two are planning your wedding that's happening in a week. You two were just finishing up on some things, some final touches if you would say.
After the meeting, you two headed back to the car in silence. Both of you haven't been talking to each other very much, and truth be told it sadden you. You loved this man, but you knew he didn't love you back.
As you pulled up to your mansion, that was way to big for just two people, two body guards came to the car. Did you forget to mention that Yongguk was part of the mafia? Yes? Well he is, and any normal fiancee would be terrified. You grew up in it though, so you were used to it.
You stepped out of the car and headed towards the house, not bothering to wait for Yongguk or Himchan your personal body guard.
You opened the front door and immediately belined it to your room.
You just wanted to be alone. You couldn't get the words that Yongguk had told the wedding planner when she asked if you two had any kids.
"Kids?" He laughed "No, No, No. We don't have any, we don't plan on having any either."
The words he had said hit your heart like a knife. It hurt so much to hear him say that he didn't want to have kids with you.
You sighed and slipped out of your clothes to put some more comfortable ones on.
You laid down in bed rethinking everything. How were you going to marry a man who clearly didn't love you.
Yes you loved him more than anything, but there was only so much hurt you could handle.
You sighed and turned onto your side to stare out the window. 'I have to go through with this. His family and my family are expecting us to get married. I can't let them all down.' You thought as you bit your lip.
So here you were walking down the aisle towards Yongguk two months later.
The wedding ceremony went smoothly, and you were now at the after party celebrating with everyone.
Truth be told, you were happy to get out of the uncomfortable wedding dress you were previously in. You could finally breathe comfortably.
The party was being held in your mansion of a house. You were currently upstairs in the bedroom changing into some more comfortable but classy clothes.
You slipped into some black tights with a nice beige blouse. You were never much of a shirt girl. You preferred being comfortable.
As you were about to leave the room you ran into Yongguk. You smiled softly at him. He gave you a curt nod and a fake smile.
Your heart sank a little. 'You have to remember nothing will change just because you're married now.' You scolded yourself as you may your way around Yongguk.
As you were about to leave you felt a hand gently grab your wrist. You turned and looked up at him with hopeful eyes.
"Are you going to wear that downstairs?" He asked you softly. "We have some really important people down there, maybe future buyers, I want to impress them."
You scoffed and ripped your arm out of his hold. "Yes Yongguk, I'm going to wear this. I'm sorry you're so embarrassed of your wife." You told him as you walked out of the room.
You didn't know how your marriage was going to last at this point.
Somehow though, you guys had lasted two years. The first year you guys were married, you tried to make the marriage work as best as you could by asking him how his day was, or what he would like to have for dinner. You soon stopped after all he would give you were short answers, or just walk away from you completely.
Now all you guys talk about is work related things. Even then it's nothing to intimate. You would just tell him how things went with buyers and he would tell you how the shipments went. That would be the end of your conversations.
The two of you would head your seperate ways to each of your rooms.
As you laid in your bed, you heard a woman's voice enter Yongguk's room. You tightly closed your eyes and turned onto your side.
You sighed and opened the drawer of your side table and pulled out your earphones and plugged them into your phone.
You didn't want to hear what you knew was about to happen in his room. You quickly put them into your ears and turned on your music.
Putting the music on full blast you closed your eyes to try and stop the tears that were threatening to fall down your cheeks.
You curled into yourself to try and give yourself some comfort. Tonight was going to be another long night.
As you laid there for hours, seeing no end to what they were doing you decided that you didn't want to stay anymore.
You quickly got out of your bed and grabbed some shoes putting them on. You slammed your bedroom door hoping he heard.
As you made your way down the stairs you suddenly stopped. Himchan was sitting in the other room watching tv.
You sighed. If he saw you leave he would immediately follow you. You just wanted to be alone. You didn't want anyone around especially a body guard.
Himchan was a great friend to you an all but he was Yongguk's friend and colleage first.
You bit your lip as you very quietly made your way to the garage. Grabbing whatever keys that were on the hook, you made a break for it.
Running to the car you quickly got in just in time for Himchan to make it to the door.
His eyes widened as he saw you. "Y/N! What are you doing? You know you shouldn't go anywhere without someone with you!" He yelled.
You ignored what he said and turned the car on. Locking the doors in the process so he couldn't get in.
Yongguk must've heard all the commotion because he came running down the the garage in his silk robe eyes wide.
His eyes widened even more when he saw you. "Y/N? What are you doing? It's late. Come back inside it's not safe to leave by yourself."
You rolled your eyes as you smiled rudely at him. As you waved goodbye.
You backed out of the garage and drove down the driveway, with both guys still running after the car.
You knew you were going to be in trouble when you returned, but you just coudln't stay in that house anymore.
You didn't want to listen to your husband having sex with some other woman. It drove you crazy that he would never care about you the way you care for him.
You drove for hours. Just driving. You didn't care where you ended up as long as it was far away from him.
You pulled over to the road and cried. The tears just wouldn't stop. You lifted your head off the steering wheel and stared out the window at the stars.
More tears fell as you realized that your marriage with Yongguk was broken, and you weren't sure if you could fix it. You weren't sure if you wanted to fix it anymore.
Maybe you just wanted out. Out of this broken and unhappy marriage
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Targeted Love ( New Ending)
Genre:angst, slight romance, violence (TRIGGER WARNING)
“(Y/N), I’m glad you’re here, I’ve got another job for you.”
Being a killer was not what you wanted to be when you were younger. In fact, as a child you hated killing and would always cry whenever your father would make you watch violent movies. At age 12 your father started to teach you how to use guns and how to make the perfect shot every time. At age 16 your father, despite your protests, signed you up to become a official killer for a mafia organization. The day you got your first assignment is one you will never forget. You were assigned to kill a blabber mouth who planned to reveal secrets to another group. He was also under suspicion of being a spy. You had of course refused the job. There isn’t a day that goes by that you don’t wish you had gone. If you had, maybe your father would still be alive today. Something snapped in you that day. You stopped caring about other people, and all your cold heart could feel was the need to kill and avenge your father.
“Let me guess…another spy?” You drawled and rolled your eyes. ‘It’s the same thing everyday a spy or someone who hasn’t paid back their loans…this job is starting to become boring.’ Your boss clicked his tongue in irritation.
“No, it’s not another spy.” He says and places his hands on top of his desk. You sigh and fall back onto the black leather couch you are so accustomed to.
“So then another deadbeat who hasn’t paid back their loans?…How boring…” You say with a small bitter laugh. Suddenly your boss slams his fists on the desk. You sit up quickly, startled by the sudden loud noise.
“(Y/N), I’m so tired of your smart ass mouth! Don’t forget that you can be killed just as easily as anyone else.” He warns with a stern voice. You sigh in defeat and look down.
“Yes I know, I apologize for my rudeness. What is my job?” You ask quietly,knowing that you are already on thin ice for the way you acted.
“Do you remember the man who killed your father?” He asks as he picks up a file and starts flipping through it.
“He’s dead.” You mumble quietly and clenched your fists tightly. Your boss chuckles lightly and nods
“You did quite a number on him for it to be your first kill.” He says in amusement as he reads through the contents of the file.
“six stab wounds to throat, three broken ribs, two broken limbs…wow…and a gouged out eye?” Your boss raises his eyebrow in surprise.
“Stop!…enough! That has nothing to do with this.” You say and rub your temples harshly. Just remembering that man makes your blood boil.
“actually it does…because your next target is…his brother.”
You are so ready for this. To kill the brother of the man who killed your father. You hope he’s watching what you’re about to do from hell.
“Hey you. Stop. What’s your business here?” You are stopped by a guard at the giant metal fence that borders the large estate. This might be a little harder than you thought. You smiled brightly and subtly tapped your left boot with the toe of your right to make sure your gun was safely secured.
“I’m here for a job.” You say as confidently as you could. The guards exchange looks of suspicion.
“I don’t remember hearing about a new recruit…do you?” The guard asks his partner. You roll your eyes mentally. ‘This is taking too long…’ While the guards are talking, you slowly reach down to your boot, keeping your eyes on the guards to make sure you’re not caught. ‘Got it….now to get rid of these two..’ You think and carefully pull out the gun, being extra careful not to draw attention to yourself.
“wait didn’t the boss say that he was expecting someone?” The other guard shrugged a little. Neither guard was paying you any mind. All you had to do was switch on the silencer.
“Wait I think I recognize her..” The guard suddenly says and gasps
“Shit get your gun she’s a member of the mafia!” Both guards reach for their guns, but it’s too late. You already had your silencer on and your gun pointed at their heads.
“You guys are so slow…but this will be fast.”You say and before they can so much as blink, you pull the trigger twice. Both guards fall to the ground with a bullet hole in their heads.
“Perfect shot every time.” You mumble and step over the guards dead bodies without so much as a glance at the lifeless corpses. ‘Two down a lot more to go’ You had a limited amount of bullets so it was best not to shoot every guard that you saw,instead you snuck around the estate as quietly as you could. Your boss told you that the man you were after was the head of the organization so he would be on the top floor. You looked up the grand staircase in front of you and took a hesitant step forward. There was no one in sight, so it was safe. Or so you thought. All of a sudden you felt someone grab your shoulder, your grip tightened on your gun that was safely tucked into the front of your pants, hidden by your shirt.
“Hey why are you dressed like that?” You froze. It was a woman’s voice, a maid? You slowly turned around and looked at the woman, she was definitely a maid, maybe a few years older than you. She didn’t seem like a threat…no reason to kill her.
“Um….I’m sorry?” You question and give her a small hesitant smile. The woman shakes her head in disappointment and lightly grabs your arm.
“If the boss sees you dressed like this, he won’t be happy…come on let’s get you dressed up.” You stop and pull your arm out of her grasp.
“dressed up?…I don’t think..” the woman waves you off and starts to pull you again. ‘Shit if she tries to make me change she’ll find my gun…I guess I have to.’
“I’m sorry about this.” You say and pull out your gun, the woman opens her mouth to scream but you’re too quick. In one swift motion you knock her out with the barrel of your gun. There was no reason to shoot her. ‘But if she wakes up… ‘ You bit your lip in worry. You didn’t want to kill the poor girl..but you couldn’t risk her waking up and screaming. You exhaled quietly and looked around, and that’s when you spotted it,a closet. ‘Perfect! I can hide her in there…’ Without a second thought you dragged the unconscious woman into the closet. Luckily for you the closet seemed to be a utility closet filled with all sorts of useful stuff, duct tape and rope was the most essential. After making sure the maid wouldn’t cause any problems, you quickly ran up the stairs. You are so ready for this. To kill the brother of the man who killed your father. You hope he’s watching what you’re about to do from hell.
“Hey you. Stop. What’s your business here?” You are stopped by a guard at the giant metal fence that borders the large estate. This might be a little harder than you thought. You smiled brightly and subtly tapped your left boot with the toe of your right to make sure your gun was safely secured.
“I’m here for a job.” You say as confidently as you could. The guards exchange looks of suspicion.
“I don’t remember hearing about a new recruit…do you?” The guard asks his partner. You roll your eyes mentally. ‘This is taking too long…’ While the guards are talking, you slowly reach down to your boot, keeping your eyes on the guards to make sure you’re not caught. ‘Got it….now to get rid of these two..’ You think and carefully pull out the gun, being extra careful not to draw attention to yourself.
“wait didn’t the boss say that he was expecting someone?” The other guard shrugged a little. Neither guard was paying you any mind. All you had to do was switch on the silencer.
“Wait I think I recognize her..” The guard suddenly says and gasps
“Shit get your gun she’s a member of the mafia!” Both guards reach for their guns, but it’s too late. You already had your silencer on and your gun pointed at their heads.
“You guys are so slow…but this will be fast.”You say and before they can so much as blink, you pull the trigger twice. Both guards fall to the ground with a bullet hole in their heads.
“Perfect shot every time.” You mumble and step over the guards dead bodies without so much as a glance at the lifeless corpses. ‘Two down a lot more to go’ You had a limited amount of bullets so it was best not to shoot every guard that you saw,instead you snuck around the estate as quietly as you could. Your boss told you that the man you were after was the head of the organization so he would be on the top floor. You looked up the grand staircase in front of you and took a hesitant step forward. There was no one in sight, so it was safe. Or so you thought. All of a sudden you felt someone grab your shoulder, your grip tightened on your gun that was safely tucked into the front of your pants, hidden by your shirt.
“Hey why are you dressed like that?” You froze. It was a woman’s voice, a maid? You slowly turned around and looked at the woman, she was definitely a maid, maybe a few years older than you. She didn’t seem like a threat…no reason to kill her.
“Um….I’m sorry?” You question and give her a small hesitant smile. The woman shakes her head in disappointment and lightly grabs your arm.
“If the boss sees you dressed like this, he won’t be happy…come on let’s get you dressed up.” You stop and pull your arm out of her grasp.
“dressed up?…I don’t think..” the woman waves you off and starts to pull you again. ‘Shit if she tries to make me change she’ll find my gun…I guess I have to.’
“I’m sorry about this.” You say and pull out your gun, the woman opens her mouth to scream but you’re too quick. In one swift motion you knock her out with the barrel of your gun. There was no reason to shoot her. ‘But if she wakes up… ‘ You bit your lip in worry. You didn’t want to kill the poor girl..but you couldn’t risk her waking up and screaming. You exhaled quietly and looked around, and that’s when you spotted it,a closet. ‘Perfect! I can hide her in there…’ Without a second thought you dragged the unconscious woman into the closet. Luckily for you the closet seemed to be a utility closet filled with all sorts of useful stuff, duct tape and rope was the most essential. After making sure the maid wouldn’t cause any problems, you quickly ran up the stairs.
It wasn’t long until you approached two large wooden doors. ‘This must be the boss’s room…how cliche…’ You thought and knocked on the door before hiding your gun behind your back. As soon as the man opened the door you planned to shoot him point blank in the head. That was your plan,it seemed simple enough. But what you didn’t plan for was his warm disarming smile that made your heart skip a beat.
“Oh, are you the girl?” He asked in a voice as smooth as velvet. ‘ You smile nervously and stuff your gun into the back of your pants as subtly as possible.
“u-um yes?…” You say cautiously and bring your hands in front of you, as to not look suspicious. The man chuckles and moves away from the doorway to let you in. You hesitantly walk in and pull your shirt down over your gun. You expected to see something similar to what your boss had in his room. A large desk piled up with files, possibly a leather couch and an array of guns on the wall. You definitely did not expect it to be so…homey. It had a large book shelf and instead of files on the desk there was thin laptop, and the couch was not leather but some type of fine white velvet. You hesitantly ran your finger over it.
“Woah it’s really soft…” you mumbled quietly.
“Isn’t it? My father bought it while he was abroad.” The man, no, your target said from behind you, almost making you jump out of your skin. You gripped the back of the couch tightly as your heart started to pound hard in your chest.
‘Shit, why is my heart beating like that?…adrenaline? Yeah,he’s close to my gun,it has to be that…How do I get my gun if he…’ Before you could finish your thought, the man pulled away.
“Why don’t you make yourself comfortable, I’ll go pour us some wine.” The man says and starts walking away,but pauses a few feet away from you.
“Oh by the way I’m Jin.” He says and continues walking into the kitchen. After making sure he was gone, you pulled out your gun and plopped down on the couch.
‘Like I care who you are…To me you’re just the brother of the man who murdered my father.’ You think bitterly and stuff your gun into the couch cushion. ‘Why not get some free wine out of this?’ You think to yourself with a small smile. A moment later Jin comes out out with two glasses of wine.
“You know,I don’t usually do this for the women I bring here.” He says as he gives you your glass and then sits down on the couch next to you. You raise your eyebrow and look at him through your wine glass. You find it funny how his face contorts each time you slosh the wine around the cup.
“So what’s so special about me then?” You say with a teasing voice. Jin smirks and places his wine glass on the coffee table in front you.
“Well it’s not everyday that I have to pay for my women..” He says and drapes an arm over your shoulder,pulling you closer to him.
‘PAY!? Oh hell no he thinks I’m a….prostitute!?’ You stare at him blankly causing him to chuckle.
“What? Do you not like to talk to your customers for very long?” His arm that was draped over your shoulder slides down to rest on your thigh. You can feel the warmth of his hands, even through your jeans. You have never been in a situation like this,for the first time in your life you’re scared, your training never taught you how to deal with something like this, your mind goes completely blank.
“Then I guess we should skip to the main thing huh?” Jin says and his hand moves further up your thigh as he leans forward.
‘W-what do I do!?’ That’s the only thing you can think while you watch his face get closer,and closer. You find your eyes closing before you can stop them and you feel his hand cup for cheek softly. He is so close now that you can feel his warm breath on your lips. Is your first kiss really going to be with a guy you have to kill?
That thought snaps you out of your trance and you slowly start to reach behind you and start blindly feeling around for your gun.
“You shouldn’t do this…” Jin whispers softly and pulls away,but you can still feel his hand cupping your cheek. You slowly open your eyes and pull your hand back into your lap.
“W-what?” You ask not even realizing that you were crying until your voice cracked. ‘Why am I crying?…’ Jin gently wipes your tears away with his thumb.
“Don’t cry…I’m not going to do anything. I knew you were different then most.” He says softly. You were so surprised by the sudden change of attitude that your glass slipped from your hand and crashed to the floor. You felt a burning sensation throughout your body. This guy…who was your target…but, he was so nice…how could you kill him? He thought you were a prostitute yet, he treated you like a actual person and he didn’t do anything to you. Why had you even been assigned to kill him? What bad could he have possibly done?
“Oh no you’re bleeding!” Jin said and jumped up off the couch. ‘’Am I bleeding?..’ You were so deep in thought you didn’t even realize it .
“hang on I’ll go get band aids!” Jin exclaimed and ran off into another room. You assumed it was a bathroom. Slowly, you lifted your hand to your face.
“Holy shit!” you exclaim when you see the bloody gash across your palm.
‘I really did cut it…damn I need to get out of here so I can treat it properly…’ You think as you exam the cut. Your eyes catch the reflection of the glass Jin was drinking from. That’s when you remember that you have a small easily dissolvable capulet with poison inside in your pocket.
‘I’ll just poison him then I can get it treated.’ You slowly pull the capulet out of your pocket,keeping a watchful eye for Jin.
‘Okay now all I have to do is drop it in…’ Your hand is over the cup,now all you have to do is open your hand. It seems easy enough…Only…Your hand won’t open. ‘Why can’t I do it?…’ Jin will be back soon, you have to hurry. You take your other hand and try to pry your fist open forcefully.
‘He’s my target…I…I have to do this!’ With those thoughts reverberating in your mind you manage to pry your hand open and drop the pill into Jin’s drink. You watch the pill sink down to bottom of the cup with mixed feelings of dread and accomplishment. A white powder bursts out of the capulet and the wine bubbles slightly before settling down. By the time Jin comes back with medical supplies,there is no evidence of the pill ever being there. Only you know.
“Sorry it took so long, it’s been awhile since I’ve used these.” He says with a small smile and sits down on the couch next to you.
“No…it’s okay..” You mumble quietly. Jin takes your hand gently without hesitation. He carefully turns your hand over to get a better look at your cut.
“I didn’t realise it was this bad…I’m sorry but this might hurt a little..” He says and pulls a small can of disinfectant out of the first aid kit in his lap. He looks up at you and his eyes catch your own before continuing.
“Are you ready?” He asks after he shakes the bottle and positions the sprayer over your cut. You nod slowly,your eyes never leaving his. Jin’s grip on your hand tightens slightly,and Jin starts to spray your cut. Boy was he right, it hurt like hell.
“Oh my god!” You exclaim in pain and try to pull your hand out of Jins grip. Just when you think you can’t take anymore Jin stops spraying. You breathe in a sigh of relief and allow your eyes to close for a moment. You hear Jin open up the first aid kit and feel him gently press gauze against your open wound,surprisingly it didn’t hurt. Jin chuckles lightly as he wraps some medical tape around your hand.
“I bet you’re surprised how well the disinfectant worked huh?” He says and gently pats your hand before placing it in your lap carefully. You almost missed his hands almost. ‘Don’t forget (Y/N) he is your enemy,your target.’
“This disinfectant is very..special and is specifically for my use only.” He said quietly. You opened your eyes as you heard this,seeing the look in his eyes you wished you hadn’t. Never in your life has anyone looked at you with such a gentle expression. Now that you think about it, no one has ever looked at you as more than just a killing machine. This man thinks you’re a prostitute and is willing to look past it all…how could you kill someone like this?
‘I won’t do it…I can’t kill him…’
“Why did you let me use it then?” You say quietly and look down. Jin looks at you for a moment and then looks away. You watch him from underneath your eyelashes,if you didn’t know any better you would think he was blushing.
“I wonder…” He says and suddenly stands up.
“It’s getting a little hot in here…want to go for a walk?” He asks and holds his hand out. you take it without hesitation.
“Wow…this is beautiful!” You exclaim when Jin guides through a secret passage that leads up to the roof,there you find the most beautiful garden you had ever seen.
“Thank you, it was my brothers before he died, I’ve been looking after it ever since.” Jin looks down and smiles sadly. You suddenly are overwhelmed with guilt from listening to Jin talk about his brother.
‘I killed his brother…I have no right to like him…What am I doing?’ You look over at Jin, who still has your hand grasped tight in his. Jin looking over at you curiously.
“Are you okay? It seems like something is bothering you.” He asks and slowly let’s go of your hand.
“Are you uncomfortable being here with me?” He asks sounding like someone who’s been rejected. Your eyes widen and you grab his hand tightly with both of yours.
“No it’s not that! I’m just…confused…” The words slipped from your mouth and your voice cracks before you could stop it. You didn’t mean to let your true feelings come out, it just…happened.
‘Oh don’t cry again (Y/N)…You are better than that…’’ For a girl who never cries you sure were crying a lot in front of Jin. There was just something about him that made you so…weak… You hated it. No matter how hard you tried to hold them back, the tears still fell. You looked down to hide your face.
“You’re crying….” Jin says softly and gently pull your chin up,so he can see your face. You avert your eyes away from his gentle gaze, it hurts you too much.
“Quit…” He mumbles, just barely above a whisper. Your eyes widen for a second, thinking that your cover was blown.
‘Oh yeah…he thinks I’m a prostitute..’ You take a deep breath, and pull out of his grasp to keep him from somehow sensing the lie you were about to tell.
“It’s not that easy…my pimp he’ll-”
“Pimp? Do you mean your boss?” He says and grabs your wrist gently. You swallow nervously and try to pull out of his grip. It may be gentle,but its firm,you can’t pull out of it.
“Um..I guess my pimp could be considered my boss…” You mumble quietly and try to no avail to once again pull out of his grip. Jin shakes his head and gives your wrist a slight tug, pulling you closer.
“No, boss as in” He places his other hand on your shoulder so you are facing him with only a few inches separating your bodies.
“The person who instructed you to kill me.” He says these words lightly,as if he were talking about the weather. His grip was so tight, you couldn’t move.
“My pimp would never hire me to kill you!” You exclaim and take a small step back,of course Jin steps with you. Jin let’s go of your wrist to place that hand on your other shoulder.
“Will. you. stop!” He suddenly yells and shakes you once for each word. Even though his voice and actions seem violent, you aren’t scared. Something inside is telling you he won’t hurt you.
“I saw you put the pill in my drink! I’ve seen my two dead guards outside!” He screams while slowly walking you backwards towards what looks like a shed.
“I didn’t do anything! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” You exclaimed trying to convince yourself more than him. You were now standing in the opening of the shed.
“Did you really think you could sneak in here without being found out? Do you not know who I am?” Jin says and reaches into his jacket pocket.
‘He’s acting different…maybe I should be scared?…’ You think that yet, you aren’t scared. Well you weren't….until he backed you up all the way into the shed and slid the door closed behind him.
“What are you doing? W-why did you close the door?” You say and put both hands on his chest to push him away. He doesn’t budge, and as he lets go of your shoulders, you fly backwards and land hard on the floor. You look up at Jin, and he is pulling something out of his jacket. It’s exactly what you thought it would be. A gun. Your eyes widen in fear and you try to get up. Pain shoots through your ankle and you immediately regret it.
“P-please don’t!” You scream in horror and try to shield yourself from the inevitable
Jin points the gun at you and places his finger on the trigger.
“This what happens to trespassers!” He yells and starts to pull the trigger. You squeeze your eyes shut and wait for the pain. The gun goes off with a loud band that shakes you to the core.
‘Am I…dead?’ You slowly open your eyes and look down at your body. No bullet holes in sight. Then you look up at Jin and see that his gun is pointed up and he is staring at with that same gentle smile,making your heart skip a beat. Before you could say a word there was a knock on the door and Jin put his finger to his lips. Signaling for you to be quiet. A moment later there was a deep voice from the other side of the door.
“Mr. Kim are you okay!?” The voice asked urgently. Jin swiftly turned on his heel and walked over to the door of the shed. You watched with curiosity, your heart still pounding in your chest, as Jin opened the door just enough to peek his head through.
“Everything is fine, the problem has been taken care of.” He says in a very authoritative voice. There is a sigh of relief from the man on the other end of the door.
“that’s good to hear.We did some research and found something I think you might want to hear.” The man said, his dropping an octave lower. As if the news he was about to give was unsettling.
“Is that so? Let me hear it.” He says and the man clears his throat. You faintly hear the distinct sound of paper rustling. ‘Don’t tell me….did he get my file!?’ This was bad. Really bad. He can’t find out what you did! You looked around for a quick escape, but all you saw was the walls of the shed, there were no crack or holes. You couldn’t escape.
“Her real name is (Y/N) (L/N).” The man replied in the same low cautious tone.
“What?” You heard Jin laugh nervously.
“No that’s not possible…s-she was arrested!” Jin stammers. The disbelief and hurt in his voice breaks your heart.
“apparently her organization bailed her out…it seems she was sent here to kill you…” silence filled the shed as Jin’s hand tightened around the door of the handle.
“You mean the person who is in the shed…is my…brother’s killer?…” He said slowly and you could have sworn you heard his voice break slightly.
“Yes sir. So it looks like your brother finally got justice, isn’t that great?” There are more paper rustling sounds, like the man is folding up the papers.
“Yeah….it is…thanks for letting me know..” Jin sounds like he has gone numb and his grip has loosened on the door.
“Do you want me to clean it up?” The door starts to slide open, but Jin stops it with his foot from the inside.
“No, it’s okay…I want to be alone.” He mumbles and the guard let’s out a sound of agreement and you hear the sound of footsteps walking away. After making sure he is gone Jin closes the door and slowly turns around.
“Jin I-” You start to say but he won’t even look at you.
“I can’t believe it….” He mumbles and clenches his fists. You stand up, ignoring the pain shooting through your ankle and walk over to him.
“Stay away from me.” He says coldly and takes a step back. Your heart constricts painfully at his harsh words.
“I-I…” You mumble, what can you say? I’m sorry I killed your brother? What will that do? Jin turns his back on you and starts to walk to the shed door.
“Jin please wait!” You grab his arm desperately.
“Don’t touch me!” He screams and turns around,before you can blink you are pinned to the wall. You stare at him with wide frightened eyes. Jin looked different. Almost, scary. His grip was so tight that it was painful. The Jin who you had come to like(maybe even love.) Was gone. This new Jin, you were scared of him.
“Did he cry?….Did he not beg you to stop?…” Jin asks quietly,his face hidden by his blonde hair. You reach out your hand to touch him but pull it back quickly.
“I…I don’t remember…” You mumble sadly. Your vision went black when you saw him, the next thing you knew you were covered in blood and Jins brothers mangled body was under you. At the time you felt numb. Now you are feeling that again, only this time it’s not from shock. It’s guilt. Jin picks up his head so you can see face. His eyes are rimmed red and you can see the faintest trace of a tear line on his cheek.
“You don’t remember?…don’t remember…” Jin kept repeating these words to himself over and over again like a mantra. You knew what was going to happen next. You knew exactly what he was feeling,you knew you were in danger. He was about to explode and will end up doing something he’ll regret when he calms down. If only there was some way to calm him down.
‘I’ve got it!’ Before he could so much as blink you put both hands on his cheek and pulled him down to you. When his lips touched yours it was like a fire had been ignited within you. Jin grunted in surprise but didn’t make a move to pull away, in fact he deepened the kiss by biting your lip softly. You let out a needy sound and pushed yourself against him. You wanted more of him. Jin released your hands and brought his down to your waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and pushed your tongue in between his lips. As soon as your tongue felt the warmth of his mouth Jin pushed you away.
“Stop it….why are playing with my emotions like this?” He says softly and takes a step back. At least you were able to calm him down. Even if just a little bit.
“I’m not…I really like you…” You say and watch as a look of pure agony flashes in Jin’s eyes. You bite your lip in frustration. Hurting him is not your intentions,but you’re hurting as well.
“(Y/N)…” Jin sighs and runs a hand over his face.
“I care alot for you.” Jin says causing you to look at him with hopeful eyes.
“But. I can never be with the person who took my brother away from me.” Jin says and takes another step back. Wait, where was his gun? Did he drop or did he… Your eyes widen when Jin suddenly reaches into his jacket pocket.
‘He’s gonna shoot me for real!?…I can’t die…’ What were you thinking? You could never be in a relationship with a target…You guessed it was time to end this. With a heavy heart you pulled out a small knife that was hidden in your pocket. Jin was looking down with sad eyes while he fished around in his pocket.
‘Why did it have to end this way..’ With that last thought a tear slipped down your cheek. You started to inch closer.
“Here it is. I want you to have this-ah!” Jin’s sentence was cut short and he let out a low guttural sound as you plunged your dagger into his gut. You looked up at Jin with teary eyes. What you saw in his hand made your heart break. It was a flower, a beautiful white flower. It wasn’t a gun.
“Why?…” Jin whispers and you pull the dagger out of him. He shrieks in pain and falls to his knees.
“I-I’m sorry! Jin I’m so sorry!…I…I thought…” You stammer and try to put pressure on the wound. The blood is coming so fast.
“P-please stay with me!…” You cry out and press on the wound with all your might. The bleeding won’t stop. No matter how hard you press. Jin is on his back now and you are over him trying so hard to save him.
“(Y/N)…” You look at him when you hear your name spoken weakly. His eyes are barely open and his breathing is shallow,but despite this…he’s smiling.
“Don’t look so at peace! D-don’t die!…please…not from this…” You look down unable to look at his peaceful expression anymore.
“P-please…don’t die because of me….I’ll never forgive myself…” You lean your forehead on his chest and sniffle softly. Jin lifts his hand up and gently runs his hands through your hair.
“It’s okay….it’s just…a flesh wound...” He breathes out shakily.
“A flesh wound!?….you’re bleeding so much!” You sob and clutch onto his shirt. Jin gasps for air above you. You look up at him once again. His hand that was in your hair is now gently caressing your cheek.
“You have to go…my guards will be here soon to check on me.” He says and lets out another shaky breath and his eyes closed for a moment before opening again. You shake your head and cradle his face in your hands.
“I don’t care! I can’t leave you like this.” You say with a small hiccup. You can hear foot steps coming up the stairs that lead to the roof.
“Go...” He whispers and weakly pushes you away. You know he’s right. If his guards find you here they will mostly shoot first and ask questions later. What should you do? You know in your heart that if you leave him and he dies, you will never forgive yourself. You look down at Jin again, his eyes are barely open. If he doesn’t get help soon...You’ll lose him.
“I won’t leave you to die..” You whisper and gently brush your lips against his forehead. With those last words you stood up and began walking to the door. You could feel Jin’s eyes on you as you opened the door. If you had been looking at him, you would have noticed that what you did next caused his eyes to nearly triple in size.
“Help! Someone help! He’s hurt! Call an ambulance!” You screamed at the top of your lungs into the crisp air. The once calm foot steps turned to frantic pounding against the pavement.
“Don’t….Run.” Jin just barely whispers loud enough for you to hear. You ignore him and continue you screaming for help until, you finally come face to face with a guard.
“Don’t move!” The guard says and points his gun level with your chest. You put your hands on top of your head and look directly into the eyes of the guard, tears still running down your face.
“Please go help him! He’ll die!” You say frantic and take a step towards the guard.
“D-don’t move! I’ll shoot!” The guard shouts and places his finger on the trigger. You take one more step and drop to your knees in surrender.
“I won’t do anything I promise. Don’t worry about me. Please go help him..” You say forcing your voice to be calm. You put your head on the ground and place your hands on top your head. The guard eyes you cautiously and slowly takes a step forward, his gun never leaving it’s aim at you. Eventually after making sure you won’t try anything he makes his way into the shed. You lift your head up, and after making sure you won’t be seen, you stand up. The rooftop wasn’t very far from the ground, at least not with your training. You behind you one more and check the to see if the ground was clear. It was. In one swift motion you jump off the roof and onto the ground. standing up and brushing off your pants, you look up at the roof. There are many guards and even paramedics there. Your heart aches at the thought that you did this. It was all your fault. You look out into the woods with teary and take out your phone before quickly disappearing into the darkness.
“How did it go (Y/N)?”
“I failed. Also, I quit.”
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My Poor Friend (Five Times She Was Loved) by misswinterhill (winterhill) ( General | Complete | 995 | T )
#mod recs#mod:daniela#title:m#author:misswinterhill (winterhill)#platform:ao3#wordcount:500to1k#rating:teen#status:complete#genre:episode codas#genre:outsider pov#genre:angst without a happy ending#canon:meat
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Purge by AVAAntares ( JackNorton | Complete | 2016 | T )
“When was the first time you killed someone you loved, Jack? It’s been a while, but you have done it, haven’t you? Yes, I thought so. I recognized the look. I’ve done it myself. Once.” Norton Folgate had his orders, but he never intended this. (An alternate perspective for Jack's flashback from Torchwood: Outbreak)
#mod recs#mod:daniela#title:p#author:avaantares#wordcount:1kto5k#rating:teen#platform:ao3#status:complete#genre:angst#genre:angst without a happy ending#genre:characterstudy#character:jack harkness#character:norton folgate#ship:jackother#canon:outbreak#historical:1950s#backstory:jack harkness#heavy themes:canon compliant death#chartropes:temp char death jack harkness
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this earth is empty without you (but the grave is not) by violetmessages (Gwen&Ianto, JackIanto, GwenRhys | 1036 | G)
Ianto Jones' funeral happens on a perfectly sunny day. Gwen hates every minute of it.
#title:t#author:violetmessages#platform:ao3#status:complete#wordcount:1kto5k#rating:gen#character:gwen cooper#character:rhys williams#character:ianto jones#ship:gwen&ianto#ship:gwenrhys#ship:jackianto#character:rhiannon davies#genre:angst#genre:angst without a happy ending#heavythemes:character death#heavy themes:canon compliant death#canon:coe#hw:grief#mod recs#mod:alyssa
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Tin Box by JolinarJackson (JackIanto | complete | 1,100 | T)
Jack had a tin box in his quarters, dented and old. In it, there were pictures and drawings. People he'd loved.
#title:t#author:jolinarjackson#rating:teen#wordcount:1kto5k#character:jack harkness#character:gwen cooper#character:ianto jones#character:owen harper#character:toshiko sato#character:rhys williams#ship:jackianto#genre:angst without a happy ending#genre:angst#genre:friendship#heavy themes:canon compliant death#heavy themes:character death#hw:grief#mod recs#mod:alyssa#platform:fanfiction.net
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a blip in time (we had forever) by someawkwardprose ( jackianto | complete | 2845 | M)
Jack visits, sometimes. It's how Ianto knows he's going to die.
#mod:violet#title:a#author:someawkwardprose#rating:mature#status:complete#ship:jackianto#platform:ao3#wordcount:1Kto5K#genre:angst#genre:angst without a happy ending#character:jack harkness#character:ianto jones
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