#generational trauma pog

[noodeldidoodel]

A never ending conflict

Like a never ending story 

just keeps going on 

An endless worry 

A useless line drawn 

Just Imagination 

Always our fault 

Anyone has a dictation 

Like our destiny is assault 

A never ending pushing guilt 

A person can be everything 

Look what we build 

 all crashes down 

Along a word which meaning is long forgotten 

 the blood that soaks our hands 

conceive the things we haven't  even done 

Your destiny is leading our path to become 

you may blame 

but  we must bear

[7-ferrets-in-a-coat]

Came to see Clownpeirce eventually bcs hes a silly guy abd i like jesters and all, Stayed for the critique of society and sistematic opression and the doomed yaoi,,

Edit: WHAT THE FUCK . IT HAD NO RIGHTS BEING THIS FIRE AUUGH

I love how the secret civilization.was hinted qith the chainmail boots in the vault

Am i reading too much into it or is there a slight theme of generation trauma besides the other themes

Evbo's master friend and Evbo have such a peculiar [/pos] friendship my god... listen the doomed yaoi is pog and all but also idk AUUGH

Will i ever be able to draw a design that satisgirs me for Clown's mask???

THIS WAS INSANE WHAT THE FUCK IM NOT GNNA BE NORMAL EVER AGAINNNNN

Wish i could draw digitally right nouw AUUGHHH,

[modelbus]

YOOOO MODDLEE

yeah I did it again.

(Help I have a problem of disappearing into thin air)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PART THREE OF CUT CHAOS SHEBSJNSUH

you said you would write 500 chapters.. but like obviously exaggerating..? (Kiddinggg)

tho a few more couldn’t hurt..

juuuust saying if you ever feel like it I will eventually see it and it will eventually make my week. <3333

BUT THATS NOT WHY WE ARE HERE! (I’m sorry my requests are always so long and dramatic bro I just brain like that)

Actual request:

ok so like I knowww cut chaos started from rumours but like rumours are an easy way to start plot lines k? (Also I use she pronouns out of habit but they is pog too)

the friends in question: Tommyinnit (duh), Wilbur (moosic boi), Ranboo (generation loss trauma guy), Possibly Slimecicle?? I know he’s not someone you do requests for normally buttt if you’re okay with it that would be POG, or if slime is a no, tubbo!

SO a few months ago Y/N started working on an SMP with some minimal custom mods, some fancy texture packs, maybe some data packs, and its like this BIGGG project, BUT its not public and its taking a lot of her time, so she can only really do a few streams and most of the time because her schedule is so full its hard to work out streams with friends so, she is alone. with the internet being the internet people started to think something was up, some annoyed viewers made a few rumours and people kept making things up and escalating things until people were saying she did all sorts of horrible things to “lose all her friends” but one of the most popular theories was that she was emotionally abusing them (??? Internet wildin ig) she ignored them while mostly finishing the stuff for the smp, but decided to address it in a very- y/n way. Getting four friends to come to her house and hide slightly off camera while she made a purposefully bad apology video only for them to jump out at the end and her to stand up and be like “YALL REALLY THOUGHT I WAS SOME MASTER MANIPULATOR?! I’M JUST A FUNKY LITTLE CHAOTIC MINECRAFT GOBLIN N’ I’VE BEEN WORKING ON AN SMP THIS WHOLE TIME!! ITS GONNA BE SUPER COOL AND THESE FOUR PLUS ALOOOOT MORE PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE THERE I’M POSTING THE CREATORS SOON AND ITS LAUNCHING IN A MONTH!, SO STOP ASSUMING I’M A BAD PERSON AND GET PUMPED BITCHES!” something along those lines, maybe at the end a little peek at what people are responding with. (Obviously no pressure, but like id be cool) (thanks for considering deity of the busses and models.)

HOW WE LIKING THE SILLIES?!?

P.S I’m not always an angst gremlin (just most of the time..) - ✨🌌🌙 Annon

I DO BE LIKING THE SILLIES (and thank you for elevating me to the level of deity, my ego has been inflated)

Pairing: Cc! Wilbur, Tommy, Ranboo, Charlie Slimecicle x Gn!Reader (platonic)

Roaring Rumors

Life was all about sacrifices.

Or, that’s what you keep telling yourself when you’re up at 1AM working on your server. Putting together an SMP is harder than it sounds; texture packs, data packs, comparability, world-building, even the (seemingly) simply act of contacting people to play on it. For the amount of time you spent on your computer, your hands might as well be part of your keyboard.

Sleep wasn’t the only thing you sacrificed. Streaming, even just fun ones with your friends, had quickly became rare. Although you loved to hop on a call while coding still, your online presence had severely receded.

You just keep telling yourself that sacrifices are necessary. That the payoff would be worth it.

And it really would be, but you just had to get there first. Which was proving harder than you had thought.

At the very least, you still had your friends. Wilbur sitting silently on call with you while you work, Tommy dragging you out of your room, Ranboo always willing to get excited over your progress. Every day you woke up with a text from your groupchat—typically Charlie—just filling you in on the latest internet trend by a meme.

Today, your news comes from Wilbur and Tommy.

“I think they’re canceling you.” Wilbur says casually while you’re in the midst of detailing the hunger bar for a texture pack.

“Ooh, you’re a wrong’un!” Tommy yells in the background of Wilbur’s side of the call.

The three of you had been idly chatting while each doing your own thing. Wilbur and Tommy were engaged in some Twitter competition, as far as you know.

“Canceling me for what?” You ask, deciding to ignore Tommy’s shouting.

“Existing, I think.” Wilbur answers.

“So the normal.”

“The normal.”

Although the conversation stops there, you can’t help yourself. Later, during one of the few hours you dedicate to getting sleep to stay alive, you pull open Twitter on your phone. Your last tweet was nearly two weeks ago, so it’s been a minute.

But you just want to make sure nothing horrible happened while you were busy. You’re a content creator, this is normal. Definitely. You definitely aren’t just justifying this so you can do it.

You swipe through tweets, heading to trending and searching your name. Tweets load, making your mouth run dry. Wilbur wasn’t joking.

All you can do is scroll, reading as the messages get wilder and wilder. From people saying they were missing you to theories on why nobody was streaming you. Each one seemed considerably more implausible, and before you know it you’re glaring at your screen like it’s to fault.

Some thought you had grown apart.

Some thought you had a falling out.

And, apparently, a lot thought you were emotionally abusing them. Or, depending on the tweet, manipulating them.

Quite honestly, you didn’t even know how they got the idea. The long threads of explanations did nothing but send you into a spiral, biting your bottom lip so hard that it bleeds.

You were so close to finishing the SMP. It needed just a few things, then you'd be able to start scheduling to get it up and running. You didn't have the time nor mental capacity to deal with whatever the fuck is going on right now.

Is it a good choice? Maybe not. But do you still ignore the accusations? Hell yes.

-

By the time you get even closer to finishing the preparations for your SMP, you've come up with the perfect plan to address the (quite stupid) rumors. It'll be a two-in-one; you address the rumors and announce the SMP at the same time.

"How long do I have to lay on this floor?" Tommy asks, stretched out behind your chair.

"Nobody asked you to lay on the floor." Wilbur points out, standing next to your computer. Charlie, on the other side, laughs.

"Yeah man, you wanted to be down there."

"Besides, I'm doing great down here!" Ranboo chimes in.

You roll your eyes, grinning. "I'm about to start stream, so it won't be for much longer. Just wait for my cue, yeah?"

Tommy grumbles, but shuts up. You take that as your chance to start the stream, switching it off your waiting screen and waving to the camera. Your chosen stream title has brought in a bit more than your usual casual steam view number, "Talking about some serious stuff," leading people to believe there will be drama. And if it's drama they want, it's drama you'll give.

"Hello, hello!" You smile, leaning back. "So I've decided to talk about some things. Namely, the Twitter shit. I am so sorry for everything, and I mean that. A lot. Sincerely. There's meaning in it."

Tommy snorts, and from the corner of your eye you catch Wilbur kick him to shut him up.

"What am I sorry about?" You ask rhetorically, acting like you read it off of chat. "Oh, you know. People have been saying all types of stuff. The things about me manipulating my friends?" There's a pause while you let that sink in. "So, I'm sorry."

It's a purposefully shitty apology, but you sigh and act like its heartfelt for a few moments, nodding towards chat. Their messages are mostly confused, especially because it isn't one emote-only.

"Sorry you guys are so gullible!" You shout, and Tommy practically tackles you.

Wilbur's the one to fix your chair, Ranboo and Charlie appearing next to you within moments.

"You guys really thought this one could manipulate me? The master?" Charlie asks the stream, pointing at you.

"Yeah!" Tommy shouts, way too energetic for someone who complained five minutes ago about being on the floor. "We're the master manipulators! Get fooled!"

"I, for one, haven't manipulated anyone-" Ranboo starts, but Tommy slaps a hand over his mouth and nods empathetically.

"Yeah, I don't know what you guys were thinking, but I've just been playing fucking Minecraft for the past few months nonstop." You laugh.

"Nonstop. It's a problem." Wilbur nods.

"It is not a problem!" Pause. "Anyways, I made an SMP! And that's where I've been! Not because I've been manipulating my friends or some shit, stop being dumbasses."

"It'll be super cool!" Ranboo adds in helpfully.

"These four-"

"That's us!" Charlie points around at himself, Wilbur, Tommy, and Ranboo.

"-will be on it, plus a lot more. It'll be posting those people soon! As in, check your Twitter obsessively guys! The SMP will be in about a month, too, so get fucking excited! I want to see some hype!"

"WOO!" Tommy screams, making everyone cringe at having their eardrums ruptured.

"So that's all I wanted to talk about I think. Anything to add, guys?" You glance around at the four surrounding you with a grin.

"One thing." Charlie nods, leaning in really close. "I have a secret. This SMP, it's actually-" He hits your end stream button mid-sentence. "And that's how you keep 'em interested."

-

Ycgmaenthusist NEW SMP NEW SMP NEW SMP NEW SMP

Mammalianeighingreflecenthusiest We are dumb as fuck aren’t we

Poabsenthusiest i will RIOT IN THE STREETS if any of yall be mean to MY STREAMER -> Cmwylenthusist FR I GOT TWO FISTS AND A CAUSE

[cyber-skeletons]

Hi again!!

For Megatron: 🎶, 🦾, 🧸(or whatever you consider the equivalent of his childhood)

For Soundwave(gasp!! Twist!!): 👻,🖕,🏳️‍⚧️,😭

Thanks!!!!!!!!!

Megatron:

🎶 A headcanon about music

When Megatron finally allows himself to enjoy human music, he finds himself especially fond of music that involves the human voice as an instrument, as well as more traditional string and percussion instruments because they're the most alien from the heavy electric and industrial tones of Cybertron. I think he'd be especially fond of Heilung and The HU. Earthspark Megatron especially loves this song:

🦾 A disability headcanon

Megatron suffers from fibromyalgia, triggered from trauma. He's been to every Decepticon medic about his chronic pain, which can flare up so bad it becomes debilitating, only for all of them to respond that there's nothing wrong with his frame. All his readings and tests come back normal, his joints are well-oiled, his pain sensors aren't malfunctioning. Several pieces of medical equipment (and at least one medic) have been destroyed as a result. His healthcare team has him on a cocktail of painkillers throughout the war.

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood

Given that Megs was constructed cold and never got to have a childhood, I headcanon that he age regresses. This utterly mortifies him and he viciously conditions himself to only allow himself to regress in privacy. This is in large part due to Terminus teaching him that if the foreman or even other miners saw him acting like a sparkling he'd be thrown in the smelter. Orion made him feel like he was finally safe enough to regress around someone, but then they have their falling out and the war started and nowhere and no one was safe again. Only Soundwave knows, and he discreetly covers for Megatron just like Terminus did. (Optimus resolves to take Megatron's secret to the grave)

Soundwave (pog):

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

The unknown. Not knowing exactly what's happened, is happening, and will happen fries his nerves like nothing else. Knowledge is his power, his weapon, his shield. To be deprived of his senses would be the worst thing that could happen to him.

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

Soundwave has a very cold, quiet, dangerous anger. His silence is deafening when he's angry, his stare sharp enough to cut. God forbid you make Soundwave angry, because you will lose something. If you're lucky, you'll lose a part of your body, maybe even your life. If you're unlucky... you'll lose what you treasure most.

🏳️‍⚧️ A gender headcanon

Soundwave is genderfluid between agender, voidgender, and wavegender. He's also fond of neopronouns.

😭 A headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them.

Oooooooooof. The worst thing that's happened to Soundwave... can I cheat and say it's my fic Who Did This To You? If not, then it's probably when he was cast out from his home and functionalist society in general as a pariah and outcast.

[dmbakura]

Tell me more about your neurodivergent Vergil headcanons? 👀 If you want to, I mean.

these are just my own views ofc but to me he feels very autistic, almost to a comical extent (i dont believe it was intentional on capcom's part at all but idk) and the portrayal of his trauma/ptsd is one of my absolute favourites in media. i think he's just so sensitively handled and with so much nuance, which is shocking for a high action series like this.

just, the fuckin... the fuckin concentration gauge. weaponized sensory disorder. he literally cant function and gets debuffed if he isn't exerting complete control over his actions/starts taking in unwanted stimuli. his playstyle rewards precision, repetition and patience. he just like me fr

his general social mannerisms and the way he carries the yamato, dare i say stimming with the yamato, feel very much to me like someone who NEEDS order- which is a good contrast to dante (who i see adhd hcs for which is also pog) and definitely part of why vergil gets so fucking pissed at him.

onto the V side of things, there's that special interest in poetry, again weaponizing a sensory comfort/hobby as a game mechanic which is just. SO fucking cool to me. he powers up by reading poetry. i also love his complete inconsistency with tactile sensations. in the VoV manga, V constantly gets covered head to toe in demon gunk without it bothering him, but when he goes to eat a burger he has no idea how to without getting sauce on his fingers, which he cannot STAND. griffon even calls him out on this and V says he doesn't know why but he just hates that feeling in particular. again, just like me fr

about his trauma... man just the entirety of dmc5 + VoV being about vergil's literal deconstruction and journey back to himself, reclaiming the entirety of his identity, even the parts he found undesirable, is just so powerful to me. it's more lowkey in dmc5 itself, but in VoV there are very clear moments of V experiencing flashbacks/panic attacks/etc and the manga takes a more direct approach with his mental state. it's handled really well and never feels like it infantilizes or demonizes him in any way

eugh this got long enough im cutting it off here lol

[cutiecorner]

Hehehe static shock brainrot go brrrr. I have waaay more thpughts about this than i thought, so this'll be part one! Most of it it setup, I'll star ☆ where the fluffy headcanons start! Also, trigger warning for the discussion of death.

Virgil regresses first because. You know. trauma.

I think he's been inclined to regress his whole life but it started to happen involuntarily after his mom passed away, especially late at night after he had dreams about her.

He didn't really know what it was until his dad brought it up in relation to one of the teens he was working with. He mentioned o Virgil they needed to be handled with care because they regress involuntarily due to trauma, and Virgil was like Whoops I Do That

He still didn't tell his dad, at first he felt really embarrassed about it. He tried as hard as he could to repress and avoid it, but it would come back stronger

After spending more time around the kid, he got used to it and decided maybe it wasn't so bad.

So he at least didn't try to fight it any more, now that he knew what it was. He wasn't super active about it though. It only happened at night, so the most he'd do about it was sleep with his favorite beanie baby dog, Pluto, or maybe ask to sleep in his dad's room if he felt really bad.

The first time it happened during the day was at the beginning of high school, when Francis started to bully him. Francis was a really intense bully, and Virgil had never been beat up before. He had a went back home and just couldn't stop crying, he felt so scared.

That's when Richie came in

It wasn't out of the ordinary for Richie to just go up to Virgil's room whenever he felt like it, they were just like that. It was especially expected when Virgil didn't meet up with him after school as usually.

When he got in Virgil was curled up around his dog plush, crying a lot. He had been beat up pretty bad and everything hurt.

Richie rushed to help him, getting him first aid and ice packs and trying to calm him down. It did work a little, though he was still crying, he felt a little better with Richie there

Until he realized... Richie was there

This was not something he intended to share with anyone, not even Richie. What would he think? That he's a total weirdo? Who would wanna hang around a teenager who still acts like a toddler? Counterintuitively, the thought only made him cry more.

Richie didn't notice anything weird, not the crying, not even Pluto, I mean, who wouldn't want to curl up and cry after getting roughed up?

After Virgil calmed down enough, Richie went to go tell Mr. Hawkins. Virgil wasn't opposed, his dad always made him feel safe.

After Mr. Hawkins helped Virgil, he pulled Richie aside to explain why Virgil was so scared.

Virgil tried to interject, that this wasn't Richie's problem, but Richie wanted to know. All he wanted to do was help his best friend, he didn't care what the circumstance was. Plus, Mr. Hawkins insisted it was a trauma response, nothing to be ashamed of.

Richie took the news really well. He reassured Virgil he didn't think any less of him and they were best friends no matter what.

Richie was actually the one who brought up they may be able to turn it into a fun thing. If you feel like a kid, why not act like a kid? There's tons of fun stuff they got 'too old for' to dig up.

☆ Rich really stepped up to help Virgil feel better about regression. He took him to the arcade, the museum, the aquarium - anything to make Virgil smile.

Virgil goes from 3-8 age wise

He looooves video games. He's usually pretty good at them, but he gets a little clumsy when regressed. Richie let's him win on purpose and helps him with all the tough levels

Virgil also loves tinkering! Any kind of building toys, he's all over it - especially legos. He can build so much cool stuff with legos, he's one of those guys who has shelves dedicated to his Lego creations.

Just generally, the Hawkins have a treasure trove of 90s/early 2000s nostalgia. Nerf guns, bayblades, whatever pogs are, they even have an easy bake oven.

Virgil’s dad is very supportive, and very happy Richie is so keen to take care of him. He always makes time for Virgil when he needs him.

Virgil loves to watch cartoons, Richie loves them too. They go crazy for Spongebob

Sharon doesn't fully understand what's going on with Virgil, but she doesn't mind going big sister mode sometimes. He's always her baby brother, after all.

They call him little vee or vee-vee :]

[macrotiis]

- 29 y/o aries ♈️

- gender-neutral testosterone beast, I'm trans 💉(2016) & post-op (2023) TME & perisex.

- xe/xem/xyrs, he/him or she/her.

- @rainbowmancer-gwen is my fox gf 💙

- Aus/NZ Pakeha (white)

- 18 +, no minors pls, this is not a NSFW heavy blog tho.

- #noid is for images without descriptions or functional alt text.

No DNI, I just block. I usually block bigots, rude ppl, pointless discourse, harry potter fans, proshippers (some "antis" too, idk this whole thing is dumb to me), & sometimes ppl who just annoy me. I'm here for a good time, I'm not here to argue & I don't appriciate ppl trying to start shit. (Letting me know of I'm rbing someone shitty is appriciated.)

Please HARD BLOCK me if you don't want me to follow you. I'll assume tumblr is fucking up & re-follow if I'm softblocked coz that happens a lot, please just properly block me.

I'm Blitz, I'm a commie anarchist furry from down-under & my tagging system is a mess. (More info under the cut)

I love animals, hairless cats & australian wildlife are my faves. Blue & purple are my fave colors. I like loud electronic & alt music; Punk, Metal, Nu-Metal, New-Wave, Ska, Drum n Bass, Industrial, Breakcore, ect.

I draw a lot, it's like my number 1 thing, art blog is @staticblitz.

I'm not a huge fandom person, but I have a Crash Bandicoot blog @n-trance, Crash Bandicoot is my number 2 thing.

I love science fiction, fantasy & horror, stuff like; Crash Bandicoot, Spyro the Dragon, Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Star Trek, Invader Zim, Doctor Who, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Dorohedoro, Berserk, Digimon Furries & table top role-playing games.

I'm a weird kind of aroace bisexual queer, I'm a transsexual in the sense that I'm trans, I take hormones (testosterone) & am post-op (hysterectomy); I believe being trans is different for everyone & hate truscum/transmeds. I also don't like transandrophobia/transmisandry truthers, listen to trans women & learn about transmisogyny without getting defensive. I promise you, there is space for us in the framework of discussions about transmisogyny already. PLEASE don't take posts I make about *MY* experiences as someone transmasc adjacent & get mad thinking I'm generalizing the whole trans man/transmasc community. I am one guy (system) & cannot speak for the entire community & I don't try to!

I am kink & sex positive, I sometimes do sexwork & I talk about it sometimes. That said I do have boundaries & I do think you ought to be responsible for what you post & where (ie; tag that shit & keep it away from kids). I cant prevent it, but would prefer DDLG or ABDL blogs not follow or interact with me (it's fine if you use a non-kink related blog instead. I don't judge you, I just have trauma surrounding this). Thanks 💖

Proshippers are weird, not keen on antis either but equating finding your pedo/incest fanfic a bit gross to police violence is actually nonsensical, end of discussion.

I think Marxism is pretty pog, I'm by no means an expert but I am very politically active where I live. I grew up poor with my 2 siblings & my single disabled mum, we are ex-Jehovahs Witnesses (yes thats important). This has shaped a lot of my world view, I align myself with the marginalised & working class people of the world. I am heavily critical of capitalism, liberalism, nationalism & imperialism. If you have a problem with commies or anarchists, you probably won't like me. I hate fascists & I hate cops. I love my community tho & working together with anyone who wants to work toward a better world.

I am moderately able-bodied, but have mental disabilities. I don't wanna share all but I have autism, C-PTSD & chronic fatigue among many other things. I am a system, I hate syscourse, endo systems are welcome here, ableists demanding medical history are not.

I will tag for any trigger if you ask me, I already tag a large amount of things for both categorization & moderation.

Do not send me donation posts, thanks.

This is my fursona, draw xem if you want I would love that :3

[theminecraftbox]

ELABORATE ON THE CARDS

/dsmp /rp

(Based on this!)

“There’s—there’s nothing to elaborate on,” grumbles Dream. “I just think card games are dumb! What, am I not allowed to have opinions now?”

Techno, unruffled, shrugs. “Sure, man. Don’t see why you had to throw my whole deck in the lava, though. I spent ages drawing the queens, bro, ages.”

“They were stick figures! With triangles for dresses!”

“You’re forgettin’ the painstaking effort I put into the crowns.”

“Which were also triangles!”

“No, they were sets of three triangles,” Techno replies serenely. “It was a labor of love.”

“Whatever,” scoffs Dream, and he crosses his arms and turns away again, drawing his knees up to his chest and hunching his shoulders.

Techno isn’t the best at reading social cues, but he’d like to think he knows his roommate’s tells pretty well at this point—well enough, at least, to pick up on when Dream’s planning to retreat into his own head.

“Look, man,” says Techno, “not twisting your arm here or anythin’, but—I mean, I’m about to design my next tour de force. Are there other games you, uh, think are dumb? For absolutely normal and mundane reasons that are unrelated to any hypothetical trauma or traumas. Hypothetically.”

Dream picks his head up to glare at him, which Techno is totally willing to take as a win.

“What,” he snipes, “are you the—the games police now? Gonna interrogate me about all the, the—anything I don’t like?”

Techno wrinkles his nose. “Actually, and I don’t know if you know this, but I’m pretty anti-police. It’s kind of a whole thing with me, Dream. It’s kind of a whole thing.”

Dream makes a noise that Techno generously decides is a laugh. He buries his face again.

Techno takes a deep breath. “Bro, I’m not gonna, like, use it against you. You can tell me if you want, it’s fine.”

“Just tell me, it’s fiiiine,” Dream mocks. He stares at Techno venomously. “You sound like Sam.”

“That’s very hurtful,” Techno says mildly. “I’m hurt. Nay. Wounded.”

Dream stares at him a second longer. Sometimes, Techno thinks, dealing with Dream is like dealing with an injured cat: as liable to scratch as to accept help; as liable to run as to scratch. All Techno can do is extend the offer and see if it will be accepted.

“Dice,” Dream says, after a long moment. His hand traces absently at a ringed series of scars on his elbow. “I, I don’t—I don’t want to play dice. And no—no betting.”

“Pog, pog,” says Techno. He flips his book open to a fresh page. “How do you feel about… Scrabble?”

Dream groans loudly, dramatically throwing his head back against the chest. “Oh my god. You know how I feel about Scrabble! You know what—I take it back, I take it back, I want to play cards!”

Techno hides a grin.

[bonesandthebees]

hey this is the same anon from earlier

yeah i get the anxiety thing but honestly? i really do wanna hear both of them! the cyberpunk au sounds super cool and angsty crimeboys is always welcome /lh /gen

storie pog *makes grabby hands*

awww thank you!! Well I posted some snippets of the modern au, it’s actually another dip into cosmic horror but no so much the horror part? More just like general cosmic weirdness. Estranged crimeboys, childhood trauma, oldest brother Phil instead of dad Phil, techno is just like 🧍‍♂️ the whole time, I won’t say in the text it’s in Oklahoma but it’s in Oklahoma, etc etc

Here’s two snippets from cyberpunk au :)

[mmmmalo]

3 potential etymologies for Diemen Xicali

1. We use the Russian X, which makes something like an English H sound, and general r/l ambivalence to turn Xicali into Hickory. Following a hunch, we find that a Russian word for smoke is дым (~diem), telling us that the hotdog troll's name approximates HICKORY SMOKED (ie sausage)

2. We use X's capacity as a modern esh and mumble our vowels to turn Xicali into Shekeli (шекели), the plural of Shekel. This would reframe Diemen's intense, paranoid wiener scrupulosity as a veiled riff on the Greedy Jew bogeyman, in line with the general antisemitic flavoring of Alternia. He will not relinquish his pound of flesh, you might say.

A tertiary contributor to this meme complex is Laika, who is the "heavenly frankfurter" par excellence, passing on as she did in orbit*: Diemen's hotdog fixation could be read as an absurd variation on Joey's love of dogs. Her accumulation of dog memorabilia (Pa's not the only one with hoarding tendencies) and her dream of becoming a veterinarian (in order to preserve dogs!), when regarded as a fixation induced by trauma, contribute to the Red Scare atmosphere via Laika. With Diemen, the traumatic dog death is crushing his meat with Alternia's deadliest ass (later you crush a baby in the same manner), and the solution is... embarking on a journey to replace it. Joey likewise seeks to replace a dead battery (connected to dogs and infants via pogs and Roxy), so that's another structural repetition... I'm unsure what Joey's equivalent of the frozen meat locker would be, though

* Laika is said to have died of either overheating from a malfunctioning AC unit (Diemen Xicali means Hickory Smoked, the dog was overly hot) or suffocation (Diemen chokes to death on a bad route, and has trouble breathing in the sewers before finding meat heaven)... I thought we were recovering the lost Laika from a sort of dead dog repository, but it also kind of feels like MSPA reader is a reaper (one letter apart...) guiding Laika across the stinky river styx into dog heaven??

I do not feel like indulging the Laika-as-phallus angle implied by the saucy weiner puns at present, this is confusing enough without keeping track of competing bodily analogies... well except for,

3. I briefly considerd "DIE, MEN" but couldn't locate enough misandry to justify it -- unless Diemen's vaguely offputting nature were serving to illustrate the subjective experience of good old fashioned Penis Hating, in which case play ball. Boys are icky!

[void-selfships-archive]

Ok I just FINALLY finished bojack horseman after taking a very long break from it cuz it was not good for my depression BUT!!! I was strong enough to finish it and I’ve followed this blog for years and I know you self ship with bojack but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a post explaining how you fit into that world?? Like, what’s your role, how did you and bojack meet, how does your story grow along with the others? AND!! Woooo, “the view from halfway down” episode was. Wow. How would you/your s/i (idk which one you use) react to all that? Are YOU maybe the one bojack calls instead of Diane? Do you/your s/i have their own “view from halfway down” episode? Sorry if this is a lot but I’m back into this show now and I’d love to know your role in the whole thing. :)

SOBBING CRYING SHAKING RN HOLY SHIT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW EXCITED I GOT SEEING THIS FJEJCJEJXJS

Also i get having to take breaks with this show bc if you aren't doing well it will NOT be good for you fjekwjcje I'm on my 4th (5th?) Rewatch rn after like a year (it's a comfort show) [ALSO VIEW FROM HALFWAY DOWN POG??? <- (my top favorite episode)]

BUT ALSO IM. SO GLAD YOU ASKED BC I HAVE SO MUCH LORE FOR THIS MFCKER AND IM TOO NERVOUS TO TALK ABT IT WITHOUT BEING PROMTED !!!

I'm gonna put everything under the cut for SPOILER REASONS but also PLEASE read the tags just in case!!! We're talking abt the mfckin CANON timeline I have for my self insert shits depressing as hell (also I hope I generally explained everything fjejcjdh bad at doing that smtimes)

I'm almost glad I'm not talking abt the Childhood friends au bc its SO softcore like wheres the angst bestie? But also damn. Why all the angst in the canon tl? Chill OUT /lh

Generally the canon tl follows the show pretty accurately, aside from the fact that IM there and a few things r obviously different

I met him in a bar during the 90s! It was one of those "Oh we're both actors! Pog." And we basically drank together and trauma-bonded. They quickly become good friends (It was funny, considering the first thing we said to eachother was "oh you look familiar" and "YOU'RE THAT GUY FROM THAT SHOW I WATCH!" Truly the start of a wonderful friendship.)

And, I basically stayed around him. The Whole Time- through Herb getting fired and both of our shows ending and various depressive episodes (on both ends), parent funerals and hallowern parties and benders and awful horrible shows that definitely should never be mentioned nor have been put on air.

And weird one night stands with eachother that never get brought up the next day (or at all for that matter) just to keep things from being weird.

So I've known him for awhile, and I've stuck around for awhile, basically a ride or die friend (with a tiny little crush that I'm not acknowledging) that's my role, the Yearning Best Friend- so cringe but it works out in the end.

I think, major event wise, everything still happened the same. It's right until S4 when things are, a little different? (Not by much though)

When he heads to his old family summer home he invites me to come with (I also didn't think itd be smart to leave him alone) and through that entire trip he told me about Horsin Around and his family and at a point a drunken rant abt New Mexico that neither of us remembered in the morning. (It was a bonding trip, definitely the start of Feelings too) we start dating in the middle of that season (specifically when we all got trapped underground, you confess a lot when you think you're going to die)

So naturally, S5 is different too, he's not dating Gina in that season, but everything still happens the same otherwise. (Of course I knew something was off the whole time, you don't stay friends with someone for several years and NOT notice when something's off, motherfucker wouldnt *talk* to me though, and when he did it was to tell me someone was trying to sabotage the show and of course you cant have two paranoid mfers under the same roof, they just end up fueling eachother until it's too late and something horrible happens)

And something horrible happened, and Diane told me about what she thought happened in New Mexico, and I'm thinking "I feel like I've heard this story before." And then Bojack tells me what happened in New Mexico and then he choked his co-star and hes going to rehab and everything is obviously too much and I tell him I can't visit of course, because theres a lot of information i need to process, but I'll still write and I'll still text and watch over the house while he's gone since I practically live there at this point but I cant see him rn.

And I didn't! Until he got out of rehab, of course and it was back to "Bojack and Jackson against the world!" And "Let's move! Go somewhere different get a change of scenery!" And we did. He got that job at the university and I! Stayed with him, ever the loyal boyfriend. (Until in getting calls from a reporter and suddenly we're trying to figure out what shitty thing he did before the reporter calls and Oh. It's about Sarah Lynn and Oh!! Thus is certainly new information I wasn't told about! Fuck.)

After the interview- the second one- it was...complicated. I didn't want to leave but i also recognized that i needed to. For now, to let him deal with the aftermath of his mistakes because if he came to me- and he did- he'd be looking for reassurances I couldn't give him. We got into a really bad argument, it was moreso implied that we weren't dating anymore, neither of us said it but we both walked away and that was the last time we spoke.

It's so funny that you asked abt The View From Halfway Down because I was literally just thinking about that episode the other day and if he would've called me and not Diane and honestly! Yea. He did! Tho he called me. Twice that day, once before, after he left Angela's house, and again before he got back in the pool- I picked up the first time but he was pretty much incomprehensible and I couldn't pick up the second time so when I called back and he didn't answer I was. Quick to panic. (I was right for being worried too, all things considered)

And then he went to jail. And we didn't see eachother again until PC's wedding (bonded a lot with her, during that break up period. It was hard y'know? But she got it. Also I was Helping Babysit with Todd, she was rlly making me rethink my opinion on adopting a kid)

We didn't start dating right away tho, but we did start hanging out again? So that was a bonus!

[rotomgender-moved]

Hello N likers. Here are my headcanons and also the canon in my fanfictions. I know this character better then gamefreak i prommie /j

-Starting this off with his Mess Of A Gender Identity! He uses They/He/It pronouns, probably has scooped up some xenogenders overtime and does not care about gendered words aside from pronouns. My Lady? Pog! Mx.? Yeah! Brother? Yep yep! He just sticks himseld under Nonbinary or Multigender, sometimes will specifically refer to himself as Berrygender or Applegender

-Aroflux, but not super into the idea of relationships even if he's had squishes(it'd much prefer to pursue a QPR, he doesnt like the idea of a romantic relationship) and asexual. Just goes under the Aroace label for simplicity's sake. You may look, platonically and making over exaggerated jokes w my N posts lol

-Oh My God They Have a Southern Accent. Once they get more and more used to being able to talk in a more comfortable way, it definitely shows off more. (Throwing in y'alls and aints and all that). But un general still talks like a cryptid in the woods

-He can and will win against someone in a fist fight. He's physically strong from working with larger pokemon and 6'8.

-Once he is more settled in Unova, he ends up volunteering and eventually working at a Kindergarten as a teachers aide!

-Vegetarian

-He can understand pokemon through a psychic link, while he is human. He's got some weird shit going on and may or may not have minor Psychic-Type esq abilities. Including Telekinesis.

-His favorite pokemon is Dwebble

-He stole Ghetsis' Hydreigon and helped it recover from its trauma, its name is now Belle and its N's child at this point

-He Cannot Stand Prof. Juniper. Not even because she's a professor anymore, they just do not like her vibes.

-Same with Hugh. But he's perfectly fine w/ Nate and Hugh dating. Even if he takes the role of "if you hurt my brother they will find your eyes in kanto and your legs in galar"

-He eventually cuts his hair into a bob, mostly because he has a hard time taking care of it otherwise due to. He never has needed to, be it a grunt who knew how to do it for him or he just. Would neglect caring for his hair.

-I think he and Guzma would get along really well, finally a friend that isn't a sibling in spirit :].

-He would also adopt the orphans w daddy issues lmao. Mfer collects siblings.

-He stims mainly via chewing. That's what the necklace is, it's chewelry. He also rocks on his feet, whistles, "popcat"s and fidget w his pokeballs

-All his pokemon are in Healballs!

[trashno0dle]

Hi, can we just talk about how amazing cc!Tommy's acting was today?

I've seen some people putting him down for how erratic he was acting when holy fucking shit guys did you fail to remember he was stuck in prison with his abuser for a week, was promptly beaten to death by said abuser and spent god knows how long in the afterlife with Wilbur, which clearly didn't help his mental state - and was later brought back to life and forced to spend yet more time with Dream in prison until Sam let him out.

And you think his acting was bad for that?

C!Tommy is very clearly traumatized af and death certainly didn't help that. Some people think it's stupid that he's fearful of taking fall damage? He was beaten to death at the hands of Dream, he was hurt so much and he doesn't want to be hurt ever again.

“Stop it I'm on half a heart!”

“I wanna remain on full hearts at all times.”

I think cc!Tommy's acting was spectacular this stream, he portrayed his characters trauma in such a deep way it was incredible. And since being revived he's scared, confused, still threatened by the mere presence of Dream and terrified of any and all weapons that can cause damage to him because he doesn't want to be hurt again.

This can mean both physically and emotionally but more physically than anything from what we've seen.

And same goes for c!Tommy lashing out at people. He had every right to. Man's fucking died and no one seems to believe or acknowledge what he actually went through, even if he was willing to explain in the first place.

So yeah, fuck you and your “tommy's bad at acting” and “he's overdoing it” he's presenting the trauma within his character very well on my opinion, and if you're throwing hate on him because you think he's “overselling the trauma” then you clearly don't know enough about his character or trauma itself in general.

TLDR: Tommy's acting was pog, the Tommy haters are just salty because he can act better than them.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, I'm gonna go cry now 👍

[modgirlyreposts-revamped]

pog ok shadow songs + short explanations

cooler than me - lyndi wadsworth: this is that rock cover of cooler than me i sent a while back. i explained already why i think this sums up shadow and sonic's dynamic and his feelings toward sonic.

custer - slipknot: the opening lines referring to both death by guns and being reminded of a person's beauty scream shadow's feelings regarding the life and death of his best friend maria who was shot and killed. figthing hell and fear because you understand it hits really well with him, too. other than that it's a lot of general anger and cynicism, which, even when shadow has developed as a character not only over the course of games like adventure 2 but also past that intense edgelord characterization shadow the hedgehog 2005 gave him, is still pretty fitting. even if he's not cruel or anything outright, he's still bitter with a short temper and angry at a lot of things.

dead memories- slipknot: the entire song is about losing the past and the pain of remembering. granted, the lyrics aren't anything near a 1:1 comparison, but i mean, the theme fits him really well.

chop suey - system of a down: i love this song. the vague, slippery grasp on a heavy theme of death i think fits shadow well too, as death is a recurring factor in his story.

wake me up when september ends - green day: the entire song is about mourning, which again, the trauma he suffered when maria died is a big factor in his character.

born with horns - machine gun kelly: shadow as a character has a lot of turmoil. as shown in one ending of shth 2005, he has a lot of regret for the damage and pain he's caused, directly or inadvertently. he stays away from making friends after maria died. he was made and repeatedly attempted to be used as a weapon. through two different games, in essence, shadow was stuck on the same feeling and the same traumatic event again and again. ("how much time can i waste constantly feeling the same thing?") plus the entire ending refrain really just sums up shadow's character arc and his isolated nature and experiences.

lonely - machine gun kelly: i mean, come on. maybe the lyrics aren't anywhere near a 1:1 comparison, just like dead memories, but the theme of loss and mourning?? the way it's presented? it fits him really well. shadow lost so much. plus the recurring theme of "i'd trade it all for you," i know it's metaphorical and it's a common feeling when you lose a loved one (yeah, i'd know that personally /lh) but shadow's motive for trying to destroy the earth was driven by vengeance and mourning over maria's death.

nothing inside - machine gun kelly: no explanation. the lyrics don't fit, the theme is wrong, but i hear it and i'm like yeah, that's shad, mainly because of the chorus.

rocket man - elton john: now we get into the stuff that's gonna warrant an ummm wtf but, the mix of lyrics about space and themes of feeling lost? "i think it's gonna be a long, long time 'till touchdown brings me 'round again to find- i'm not the man they think i am at home, i'm a rocket man" first of all. space. shadow was created in space. he lived on the space colony with maria. a "long, long time", shadow being sealed away for 50 years in cryostasis, but for some reason it's really his story in sa2 ending with him falling to earth from space that makes this one hit for me? like, i know he survived, but still.

space oddity - david bowie: wish i could say i wasn't too stupid to know what this song is actually about. i just kind of hear an astronaut dying in space when a mission goes wrong, accepting it in the last moments ("tell my wife i love her very much") and no one can reach him, and it probably represents something but i have no media comprehension. anyways death in space.

ok these are all too depressing what about teenagers by mcr because it's so funny to me that shadow is literally my age and he's out here like THAT

Love the MGK songs in here, my propaganda has worked- /j

Also the fact that I'm older than a fUCKING SONIC CHARACTER SCARES ME-

[gphaunting]

Tw bruises and mention of death

I made new c!tommy and c!niki designs and I’m rlly happy with them :] I want to explain some stuff ab their designs so here we go-

Tommy:

Hoodie/gloves- due to his new aversion to touch, he probably would want to cover as much of himself as possible and in something thicker than his usual tshirt- which I’d imagine he’s still wearing under the hoodie bc mans whole thing is his attachment to sentimental items so it makes sense hed keep his classic shirt on him

Hair: gave him white streaks from ✨trauma✨ and the stress of being revived—plus i cant resist the excuse to give a character white hair. His hair is also more messy

Face: new bruises, lip scar, eyebags from ya know going bye bye and I’m still not over how brutal that was

Pants: might add patches to the pants to make them his old pants if not tho it just means dude got a change of clothes for once-not rlly important

Shoes- i wanted them to match his skin more

Niki: generally just wanted her design to look more survivalist bc her current arc is ab figuring herself out on her own-which is very pog btw-and i based it off her current skin. Also gave her the wilbur cape bc thats so cool. I’ll make a more finished version of this at some point, rn tho it was rlly just practice to get better at drawing her:]

[sunlitmcgee]

A Simple Thanks

Typing this up the day before my graduation so it isn’t too rushed. It’s long, but if you’ve followed me from AO3 or just chill on my blog in general, feel free to glance under the cut and to witness my sappy rambles.

 So...me, huh? Most of you know me. Most of you probably only know me through my various endnote rants on my AO3 works. You know my thoughts on the block people, mainly. As well as perhaps very vague details about my traumas and how they’ve influenced my views of the block people story, specifically c!Tommy and all he represents. I have always tried to be vague in those rambles. For privacy reasons, mainly. But also just coz I know that I don’t owe you guys anything more than what’s written in my silly little fics and the triggers in the notes on the top.

 But, as I’m sure a few of you have noticed, I am actually gonna be graduating from high school soon. Tomorrow, to be precise! Crazy, ain’t it? Bet at least a few of you are surprised to know that the guy behind those feelsy fluffy stories is barely an Adult TM.

Or maybe you aren’t surprised. IDK.

Adult. I am an adult. I was not an adult when I first started on my fics. When I started on Heal What Has Been Hurt, I was still not yet an adult. I have become an adult over the course of me writing the story, as well as others like it, but even still, I am only just now taking that government-mandated right of passage into proper independant adulthood. I ain’t a kid anymore! And boy, that’s fucking terrifying.

I’ve grown a lot, since I found the Dream SMP.

I’ve learned a lot about myself. About my traumas. About my past relationships. Both through the canon source material, and through the hours and hours and hours spent tip tapping away on my phone or keyboard as I poured a bit of my soul out into a Google Doc and sent it off for the world to see.

I haven’t been shy about how bitter I am towards DSMP canon. You all know my thoughts. CCs cut the shit and treat the abuse plotline with respect, c!emerald duo die in a hole, c!beeduo be nice to the boyo again or so help me I’mma disown yo asses, etc, etc...

But...despite all of that...I am genuinely so happy that I discovered this story. That I met these characters. That I got to see them, know them, watch them struggle and fall utterly in love with everything they had to say. C!Benchtrio are my darlings forever. And no amount of horrible writing can ever take that away from me. And no amount of horrible writing will ever stop me from loving them enough to write them over and over in my own stories, whether it be in something long running like HWHBH, or shorter one shots where I just get to have them there As I Fell In Love With Them, and hopefully in such a way to where you all can still Be In Love With Them, regardless of canon or ccs being stupid.

I’m glad I am in this fandom. I am never going to leave. I am never going to stop writing, for myself firstly, and for all you lovely people secondly. 

Even if I get busy with adult things.

Even if I get worn out and need to take breaks.

Even if I cry about lore every time I think of it to the point where I get a headache, I will NEVER give up on the DSMP as a whole. Nor will I stop writing for it. Nor will I stop loving what it meant before the ccs gave up.

And it’s gonna sound cheesy, i know. But were it not for all of your kind words of support, I doubt I’d ever have stuck with this story for as long as I have, nor that I would’ve ever come to love making stories of my own like I did long before my own exile.

And for that, I simple say, “Thank you. For being quite pog.”

But yeah. That’s all. I’mma go stand in a football field in a stupid robe now. Wish me luck, yall! :D