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thornedrose44 · 4 years ago

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Ends of the Earth (Part 2)

Part One or read on AO3

“Lena?”

That was her first word, unsurprisingly, when she woke up after fending off the Children of the Earth. It was the only word she would ever speak as she drifted in and out of consciousness following her exposure to kryptonite over the course of three weeks. That in-and-out existence consisted of little more than fragmented memories of disjointed conversations and dodged questions overshadowed by the ever-present pain of her body healing itself after being pushed past its limits.

“Hey, hey, there… how are you feeling?” Alex soothed coming slowly into view as Kara’s eyes adjusted to the bright lights of the sunlamps for maybe the second or was it third… or maybe even fifth time...

“Thirsty…” Kara croaked out through dry lips. “And… pain…” Kara admitted, everything aching in a way it never had before.

“Here.” A straw was gently pressed against her lips, and she felt blissful water coat her mouth and throat. Kara was pretty sure it was the greatest drink of water she had ever had.

“Lena? Where’s Lena?” Kara repeated, her voice stronger now.

“Just rest for now, okay?” Alex requested, plumping the pillows behind Kara before ducking her head and fiddling with the machine at the side of the bed to increase Kara’s dose of analgesic which was effective at rapidly lulling the kryptonian back to dreamless, painless sleep.

The day eventually came where Kara was awake longer than a couple of minutes, where the ache was more of a residual hum than anything else and Kara’s mind was sharp enough to push for answers instead of being deterred by Alex and Eliza’s methods of dodging.

When the day came and Kara was given the truth, she would reflect back fleetingly on those three weeks of constant pain and recovery where she had little grasp of her own reality and wish, wish with everything she had, to go back to that state of being. Because this… the pain Kara felt on that day when she was presented with her new reality obliterated every other pain she had ever experienced, rendering them little more than stubbed toes in comparison.

“The portal wasn’t stable… you know that the power stabilisers weren’t in place yet; it required active management to prevent it going critical.”

“She stayed behind… she kept the portal open so that we… Kara, I’m so sorry...”

“It was unstable, it's… it’s very likely the portal exploded and… It would have been quick...”

“She said… she said… to tell you to be happy… Kara, she also… she also said something about looking forward to a sunset... Kara?”

“Kara? Say something, please…”

“Kara?”

She stopped then. It was as if she ceased to exist.

How could she exist when she no longer had a heart in her chest?

Here she was on a whole new planet, and Kara couldn’t find the strength to get up and go see it.

She lived in her mind, going relentlessly over her memories of Lena, lost to a past she would do anything to change with absolutely no interest in building a future.

She would do things differently if she could. (So many things.)

Kara sometimes wondered if she counted - her regrets versus the choices she would make again - which way the scales would tip…

There was a reason she never counted.

Kara knew that she was rather young to have so many regrets, so much weight on her shoulders and experiences that would scar her for the rest of her life.

But, if she had to pick… if someone came to her and said there was one thing in her life she could change… it would be Lena.

The problem, however, was that she didn’t know what specific choice or moment to change… there were too many options. So many of her snap decisions and cowardly actions had inflicted wounds on the youngest Luthor that would haunt Kara far worse than any of her own trauma could ever hope to.

She’d seen the story play out differently thanks to Mxyzptlk - but she doubted those versions, especially now after seeing how the future was more liquid than solid, able to change, fluctuate and bend around your fingers with only the smallest shift. Mxyzptlk had shown her some potential outcomes of different choices but that didn’t make them the only outcomes.

The obvious history rewrite would be to have told Lena her true identity far earlier but if Kara was honest with herself as she tried to be in all matters related to Lena - because Kara refused to sully a single memory or thought she had of Lena with falsehoods - telling Lena about Supergirl wasn’t what Kara thought about most whilst she laid there in bed rejecting her new reality.

Her daydreams and fantasies didn’t centre around Supergirl.

Kara refused to boil everything between her and Lena down to Lena’s relationship with only a single strand of her identity. It was Kara Zor-El and Lena that mattered, everything else was just decoration atop that foundation.

The change Kara would enact, if given the chance, could have taken place at any time, during any one of her interactions with Lena.

If Kara could do everything again… she would make sure that this time around she told Lena that she loved her. (Explicitly stated it rather than hint around it with pretty words.)

Truly and deeply loved her.

That Kara’s heart hadn’t been beating correctly in her chest, didn’t know what its actual purpose was other than to pump blood through her veins, until she met Lena. That there were parts of herself that only Lena could access, parts of herself that only Lena would ever see.

She knew that declaring her love for Lena during their very first meeting would be too soon, too intense but she should have at least realised what the fluttering of her heart really meant, instead of presuming it was anxiety about meeting a Luthor. She should have known what was really happening and acted on it as her friendship with Lena blossomed, instead of assuming the butterflies in her stomach were nerves about lying. She should have seen Lena’s early romantic gestures (flowers and galas with potstickers) for what they really were, rather than running towards a man, that whilst good and kind, didn’t make her heart swell as it struggled to comprehend everything Lena made her feel.

By the time Kara actually realised what her heart had been screaming and begging for her to understand, she was trapped and tied up around a web of lies so thick and all consuming that she didn’t know how to get out from under them.

But then, inevitably, came the truth, (far, far, far too late) and the subsequent loss of Lena.

That hurt.

It wounded Kara in a way she’d never been wounded before. And with any injury you’d never experienced, Kara - likewise - didn't know how to treat it. Didn’t realise how she poked and prodded at it merely made it bleed even more fervently. She then tried to erase it, rid herself of the organ (her heart) in its entirety - the ‘villain’ serving as a scalpel designed to free herself of the wound that refused to heal.

When her heart returned to her, it was beaten, withdrawn, and Kara didn’t know how to accept it back, how to fit it back inside of her chest.

It was awkward between her and Lena now. In a way it had never been before.

It was Kelly that put it all into perspective, helped Kara see the damage wrought on her heart, helped slot it back into place, though it now had jagged edges that kept catching and digging with every movement. It was Kelly that explained abuse victims, how they sadly returned to their abusers, how Lena had done just that after finding out that her attempt at escape had merely led her back to the same pain the Luthors had inflicted over and over again. Lena’s second escape, second show of strength was incredible and should be admired, not punished.

Kara and the Superfriends had hung their heads in shame.

Brainy was the first to bridge the gap, him and Lena having always shared an understanding that no one else could touch. Two souls, told to fear themselves but constantly striving to prove themselves worthy.

Kara would hover nearby, struggling with the desire to reach out but the guilt of harm already inflicted keeping her away and then… then…

It was the end of the world and Kara told herself that everything else could wait.

That they could wait.

It never should have been soon, or later, or almost…

It should have been now…

This moment, right now!

Why did they keep fucking waiting?

All it did was result in missed opportunity after missed opportunity until there were no more ‘soon’s to come, and there would be no more ‘now’s to seize… all that was left was too late.

Too fucking late.

There were some memories that stood out more than others, the ones where they planned their future, the ones where Lena had bared herself to Kara in a way that made Kara feel so privileged, the ones where they had been so, so, so close to crossing that final gap between them and formally gifting each other their hearts wrapped lovingly and addressed solely to one another. It was those memories that Kara played on endless repeat as Alex shook her, screamed for her to come back, to snap out of her catatonic shell…

“On the coast.” Lena had replied when Kara had asked where she wanted to live when they arrived at their new home.

“I didn’t think you liked the beach?” Kara murmured, shuffling closer and closer until Lena’s back was pressed right against Kara’s front, Kara’s arms moving to wrap around Lena’s middle, just wanting to hold her close as she continued to work tirelessly.

“I didn’t say beach…” Lena hummed, glancing back over her shoulder with a teasing twinkle in her green eyes that had Kara bending her head down to bury her nose in long black hair that smelled of citrus - the generic shampoo that had been given out to everyone in the bunker. “I lived on the coast in Ireland…” Lena revealed, after a beat, her voice turning soft and sombre as it always did when she spoke of her mother and her life before the Luthors, causing Kara’s arms to gently squeeze Lena closer. “There were shingle beaches and cliffs… I just liked being able to hear the sound of the ocean. The waves hitting the shore… it was comforting.”

“Then a house on the coast you shall have.” Kara promised sincerely.

Lena laughed at that, “Oh, really? Are you going to build one for me?”

“No...” Kara replied, placing a quick kiss to the side of Lena’s head, “I’m going to build one for the both of us.” Lena stilled in her arms, her fingers moving away from the keyboard she had been typing on so that she could lay them over the top of Kara’s hands.

“Do you really want that?” Lena asked, quiet and disbelieving.

“Look at us, at this moment.” Kara requested, fingers flexing so that they interlaced with Lena’s easily. “I just want to be wherever you are.”

“Me too.” Lena replied, turning her head so that she could rest her forehead against Kara’s jaw, both of their eyes fluttering closed as they relished those rare few minutes that they could actually give solely to each other.

“It’s too much, sometimes…” Lena muttered, her hands shaking, after another long day, as she tried and failed to undo the buttons of her shirt so that she could finally slip into bed and sleep for a mere handful of hours before duty required her blood, sweat and tears all over again.

“I know.” Kara soothed, moving to kneel in front of Lena so that her own hands could reach out and gently take over the task. Kara’s fingers moved slowly, undoing each button with as much care as possible, her blue eyes politely averted as pale skin steadily became more and more visible.

“It shouldn’t be me.” Lena whispered into the stillness, green eyes boring into blue as Kara tucked her fingers underneath the shoulders of Lena’s crisp white shirt to push it off and down her arms. “I get that they need my mind and my intelligence, I get that, I do… but they are looking at me to…” Lena trailed off, gaze going distant.

“To?” Kara prompted, folding the shirt with precise movements before retrieving her soft Midvale High School shirt that Lena had taken to sleeping in, holding it up for Lena to push her arms tiredly through.

“Inspire…” Lena huffed as she pushed her head through the neck-hole. “Me. The most cynical person alive.”

“That’s not true.” Kara asserted earning her a disbelieving eyebrow raise that had her shaking her head ruefully. “Okay, it’s somewhat true.” Kara admitted earning her a giggle of amusement that warmed Kara’s heart as she shifted to lay down on her side of the cot, opening her arms for Lena to fall into.

“But it's not a bad thing. Not by a long shot.” Kara insisted seriously. “If it wasn’t for you, we would still be trying to fix the sun and billions of lives would have been lost whilst we accepted that we had to find another way. You’re not a cynic, though. I’ve watched you encounter stumbling block after stumbling block and you still…” Kara’s eyes roved over Lena’s fatigued, yet ever beautiful face, with wonder in her eyes. “Keep going… keep searching for a solution. A cynic wouldn’t do that. Couldn’t do that. You keep yourself grounded but you keep your eyes skywards. You inspire but you don’t lie. That’s what they did on Krypton, they liked sweet lies more than the harsh truth. You’re a balance of both.”

“Such tender words.” Lena remarked as a solitary index finger moved to tap affectionately against Kara’s lips.

“True words.” Kara corrected, puckering her lips to press something resembling a kiss to Lena’s finger, “If I was still leading... we would still be on the surface, my blind hope damning us all…”

Lena shook her head at that, harsh and firm, her hand moving to fully cup Kara’s face, “You’re wrong. So wrong.”

“How so?”

“Firstly, that’s not what it is…” Lena explained, her legs tangling with Kara’s as Kara pulled the blanket over the both of them, “blind hope...”

“What is it, then?”

Lena pursed her lips thoughtfully as the hand on Kara’s cheek moved to comb through blonde hair, “Faith.”

“Faith?” Kara repeated, signature crease appearing between her brows at the term.

“Yes and it's a beautiful thing.” Lena breathed reverently, “It's probably the best thing about you.”

“I thought that was my blue eyes and handsome good looks.” Kara smirked, knowing if she leant into the moment they had created (sincere and loving), she wouldn’t be able to wait anymore… that soon wasn’t going to cut it.

“That’s second and third place, respectively.” Lena shot back immediately, fingers stilling for only a second before continuing their endless movement through Kara’s hair.

“It’s still blind.” Kara said, returning to the topic, now more confident that she could rein in her desire for the time being. “Just as likely to lead to a miracle as it would off a cliff.”

“Maybe.” Lena agreed, “But faith, in the face of insurmountable odds, is when the impossible happens.” Lena countered as she settled further into Kara’s warm embrace, cold nose pressed against a spot just underneath Kara’s jaw. “I would have given up if it wasn’t for you, a long time ago.”

“I’m glad my ability to make the perfect coffee has paid off in some way.” Kara joked.

“Don’t do that. Don’t minimise yourself.” Lena said, tone hard and serious, making Kara tense for a fleeting moment. “The only reason I keep going after each stumbling block is because of you. Because you believe that I can do it.” Lena revealed, her voice rising an octave to keep back the sting of tears. “Your unshakeable faith in me, gives me the strength to make the impossible happen. Don’t you dare ridicule it. Because I need it, Kara.” Lena declared, lifting her head so that Kara could see the watery sheen magnifying vibrant green eyes. “I need you to have faith in me because most days it's the only thing keeping me going.”

Kara sat up for the first time then, head ringing with the memory of Lena’s words.

Lena is alive and she is waiting.

Kara just had to have faith. And if there was one thing that Kara had more faith in than anything else in the universe, it was Lena.

Lena is alive and she is waiting.

Kara whispered the mantra to herself over and over again as she staggered to her feet. Repeated it endlessly until it tattooed itself onto the walls of the empty chasm where her heart should be.

Lena is alive and she is waiting.

The words fuelled her faith and her faith fuelled the words like an endless repeating cycle as she walked out of her room and got to work.

“Lena is alive and she’s waiting.” Kara declared to Brainy, who blinked at her rapidly in surprise at the statement and her unexpected appearance after being unresponsive for over a month.

“How can you be sure?” Brainy questioned, choosing to ignore the multitude of questions related to Kara’s sudden revival.

“I can’t, but I am.” Kara replied, falling into the chair opposite humanity’s new chief scientist. “How do we save her?”

Brainy pursed his lips and remained silent for a long time, clearly trying to decide if he should push back against Kara’s assertion before nodding once in acceptance. “Short answer, I don’t know.” Brainy answered honestly. “Long answer, another transmat portal.”

“Okay, then let’s build one.” Kara demanded, banging a clenched fist against an open palm.

“If only it was that easy.” Brainy laughed drily, shaking his head in resignation.

Kara’s jaw clenched in determination, “Tell me what the problems are.”

“Kara, I don’t think-” Brainy started softly, beginning the gentle deterrence and refusal that Kara was now intimately familiar with, having come straight from meeting the leaders of humanity (which had now formed an official government - The Terran Coalition).

“Now, Brainy.” Kara ordered coldly, her expression darkening.

Brainy flinched in shock at the tone and command, but recovered quickly, getting to his feet to write on a nearby whiteboard. The first word he wrote in big block capitals was ‘MATERIALS’.

“Firstly, we don’t have the materials to construct another transmat portal. We depleted our supply of a number of rare elements and compounds that were present on Earth but we don’t know if they are here on Terra Nova. If they’re not, we would need to fully re-design the portal from the ground up to take into consideration the impact of substitutions.”

“Which brings us onto the next issue.” Brainy continued, adding another word just below the first one, ‘KNOWLEDGE’. “Lena knew the portals better than anyone, the rest of us understood the particular portal design that we used and different parts of the underlying theory but it was only Lena that truly understood the full picture. I, and the scientists that worked closely with Lena, have now been allocated to separate projects.” Brainy explained, gesturing around the lab they were currently sat in that had only one or two familiar faces that Kara recognised from all the time she spent at Lena’s side. “Projects to ensure we can safely make Terra Nova our home, projects that serve the whole of humanity.” Brainy grimaced as he stated a truth Kara was acutely aware of from her lengthy discussion with the Coalition that had resulted in neither her nor them walking away happy. “The leaders won’t allow time and resources to be pulled away to work on this. They just won’t. But let’s say you can create an entirely new portal from scratch with only a shoe-string budget and support… you then reach the biggest issue… One that even Lena never got around to solving.”

“What?” Kara prompted, blue eyes narrowing at this.

“Precision.” Brainy wrote it out in big, block letters adding it to the list. “For the portals we used, we were just aiming for a planet, even just the general vicinity of space around the planet. We didn’t have to ensure the portals adjusted to remain in a fixed location on the other side, we just had to make them not overlap. We shot the transports through and then let them finish off the journey. To get back to Lena and save her… you would need absolute precision. You would need to open it up within the bunker. You would need it to adjust to remain in that location, which would massively increase the amount of energy required to open it. Opening it anywhere else could put you and anyone that goes through in massive danger and there would be no way to get to Lena without putting her in danger either.” Brainy hung his head, capping his marker pen and moved forward to squeeze Kara’s shoulder comfortingly, “I’m sorry, Kara. But even if-”

“Materials. Knowledge. Precision.” Kara repeated firmly, gaze fixed with steely determination on the words scrawled across the board. Three words stopping her from getting Lena back. Three herculean tasks that Kara was ready to dedicate herself to mind, body and soul.

Lena had told her once that she could make Kara an expert in ten years.

Kara intended to prove that wrong - she would do it quicker than that, she had to.

Whilst she might not have Lena to teach her, she did have one hell of an incentive.

Terra Nova was without a doubt a beautiful planet. Lush forests, snow peaked mountains, tropical jungles and enticing black-sand beaches. It lacked a desert but the majority of people weren't too disappointed to find that particular biome missing.

The first city of Terra Nova was named after humanity's saviour, as it should be. The Coalition had approached Kara about it, wise enough to know that any slight, accidental or otherwise, against the (presumed deceased) youngest Luthor would provoke the retired hero. They were originally planning something like Luthorton but Kara had shot that down, point blank telling them that if they wanted to honour Lena it should be Lena's name that was remembered and not the family that had betrayed her.

Lenacity (pronounced like tenacity) would forever be known as the first city of Terra Nova, to forever serve as a beacon of hope to humanity. There was even a statue in Lena's honour erected in the very centre of the city.

Not that Kara had ever seen it, nor did she attend the dedication ceremony; she barely even read the announcement proclaiming the city's name.

Humanity built itself a new home, creating infrastructure and cities. Rebuilding themselves anew and making this planet truly theirs in a far more sustainable manner than on Earth - they now knew the pitfalls of industrialization and the Coalition made sure to avoid them this time around with scientists like Briany serving as their guide.

Kara, though, only had a vague awareness of the world being built up around her. She moved from her bed in the makeshift hospital to a back-room in Brainy’s lab to, eventually, her own lab inside Lenacity University - the Coalition arranging her a workspace and position as a thank you for her service during the end of the Earth.

Kara had a purpose, a purpose driven by seven words that Kara would mutter under her breath whenever her head began to ache as she struggled her way through textbooks and theorems…

Lena is alive and she is waiting.

Kara's life revolved around this one goal to the exclusion of all else. She barely ate and she only slept when her mind simply could not go on.

She was weaker here, on Terra Nova. And not just in the figurative sense (her soul and mind torn asunder at the loss of her heart). She still had her powers but they weren’t the same as they were on Earth. The atmosphere and Sun on Terra Nova was different to Earth so it wasn’t completely unexpected.

She was still stronger than a human being, could still lift a car but not a bus.

She was faster than a human being, but not faster than a bullet.

Her hearing was still enhanced; she could hear the heartbeats of people in the room but it took considerable concentration now, and anything more than a street away was near impossible.

Heat vision was still there but attenuated; she could still heat up a coffee after it had gone cold but she wasn’t going to be destroying a space-ship anytime soon.

Flight was the biggest loss. It was still there but it was tiring now. It used to be easy, seamless but flying a considerable distance was like running a half-marathon after only minimal prep.

There were other effects of her powers being diminished, her golden complexion and hair lost their sun-kissed experience - hair turning a darker blonde and skin slightly paler.

Whilst Kara never did anything physically demanding, nothing of interest on this planet to prompt her to move, at least in those early years (later years spent seeking the exact right materials for her plans exposed her to a number of wondrous sights that had little impact on the hero focused on her singular task), she was not taking care of herself.

She now understood what Lena went through during those two years, why it was so hard to get her to stop and just take care of herself.

Stopping to eat, sleep or relax in anyway required justification. Justifying time that could be spent helping someone else - saving someone else - on an activity that felt selfish.

It was probably something Kara should have experienced more of during her time as Supergirl, but she had never struggled to put distance between herself and that role. Had never really hesitated to accept invitations to karaoke and sister nights. It was different now, though, now Kara was no longer justifying the time delay to some unknown randomer who may or may not need saving… now she was justifying it to Lena.

Lena, who was trapped in a bleak bunker all alone.

Lena, who probably thought no one was coming to save her.

The weight fell off Kara, her muscles steadily eaten away, dark bags under her eyes becoming a permanent feature and her hair hastily cut short and jagged to minimise the care she had to give it.

The only thing that saved Kara from the damage she was slowly inflicting on herself was Alex.

That first year, Alex kept her distance - accepting Kara’s casual dismissals without push-back and her usual assertiveness. It wasn’t just Kara that had been changed by their permanent departure from Earth. The fire in Alex’s eyes had dimmed, her assertiveness tempered and her overall demeanour more quiet and withdrawn. Kara sympathised (distantly), knowing what it was like to leave her home behind but feeling that Kelly, Eliza and the other Superfriends would be a much more effective support system compared to anything Kara could offer at that time.

Alex would stop by every now and again, hands clasped behind her back, hovering timidly in the doorway, making her various pleas, “Kara, you need to eat.”

“I can’t right now, why don’t you go have lunch with Kelly?” That was Kara’s go to rejection, figuring it would at least encourage Alex to live her life, she deserved to. No point dragging Alex down with her.

Alex would nod once and hesitantly walk away, popping back up a week later with a plate of food in her hands that she would place in a rare empty space on Kara’s desk

“Hey-”, Alex would begin, seeking to break through Kara’s focus.

“Not now.” Kara would reply simply, no sharpness or venom to it, just a simple refusal.

Kara couldn’t be what Alex needed. She had no heart in her chest and she didn’t want to expose Alex to the coldness that now resided in the space it once occupied.

Kara had to get Lena back. Once she got Lena back, she could be herself again. Could feel and support like she always did before.

“Alex, just… leave me alone.” Kara requested before Alex even had a chance to say a word.

It was a year of this. Kara retreating further and further into herself and her work; Alex on the outside, uncertain of how to reach her. Tentative and nervous when her relationship with Kara had been the one she was most certain of.

“I’m sorry.”

The apology was new and managed to get Kara to cast a curious glance over her shoulder to see Alex, head dropped, red hair forming a barrier to her expression and hands curled into painful fists at her sides as she trembled in the doorway.

“Alex, I don’t really have time for this-” Kara began, already turning away when...

“I know you blame me…” Alex whispered, her voice cracking in a way that Kara had never heard before.

That jerked Kara back, brought her momentarily back to her own body, out of her half-life existence as she turned back round to actually look at her sister for the first time in… months. She looked distraught. Brown eyes broken and crying, lips bitten and raw, her complexion pale and her entire being exuding exhaustion.

“Blame you? Blame you for what?” Kara questioned in total confusion, moving towards her sister without conscious thought.

“For Lena.” Alex gasped, wrapping her arms tightly around own body protectively, “I… I failed her and I failed you.”

Kara’s jaw dropped, her stomach sinking like lead through the floor as the realisation punched her squarely in the gut. Alex hadn’t been grieving for Earth, she had been punishing herself. Punishing herself for Lena and by extension what Kara had turned into.

“Alex… no… I don’t…” Kara stammered, reaching out with shy fingers that had forgotten what it was like to make contact with another being. “Is that what you think?”

“You can barely look at me.” Alex cried, cringing in shame and guilt… and that…

It’s awful to admit, but it was the first time Kara felt something other than hollow. After a year of deadened emotion, Kara remembered how to feel. Felt the barrier she had unknowingly crafted around herself cracking open just a slither. Just enough for her to remember her sister. Her solid ground and most trusted ally. The person who she could always depend on.

“I can barely look at myself.” Alex continued, unaware how her own breakdown was reviving her sister back from her empty shell. “You love her so much and I... I couldn’t save her for you. You’ve lost so much and I now understand a fraction of that, just a tiny fraction and… I should have saved her. She was my friend, too. And she… she didn’t even… she gave so much and I couldn’t…”

“Alex, oh Rao, no… no… no…” Kara murmured, finally stepping forward to wrap her arms around her sister that she had been hurting without realising. Everytime she had pushed Alex away in a bid to shield her from her emptiness, she had merely been reinforcing to Alex the misconception that she was to blame. “Come here. It wasn’t your fault, okay? It was mine. I left her side…”

“No! Kara!” Alex rejected loudly, even as her arms wrapped tightly around Kara in return. “No. You left her side because of me. Because I asked for Supergirl-”

“How long have you been carrying this?” Kara asked sadly, “How long?”

“Since we went through the portal.” Alex admitted, burying her face into Kara’s shoulder.

“Is that why… you thought I hated you?” Kara whispered as the sheer awfulness of it all threatened to overwhelm her.

“I would, if I was you…” Alex murmured.

“No, Alex never…” Kara refuted, not believing Alex’s statement in the slightest. She pulled back from the hug (the first hug Kara had since landing on Terra Nova), and wiped the tears off her sister’s cheeks with a brush of her thumb. “I love you, I just I… didn’t think… I didn’t think I could help you… I didn’t think I could give you what you needed…” Kara revealed, shaking her head dismally at her continued failures.

“I didn’t want you to give me anything… I just wanted my sister…” Alex confessed, causing the walls where Kara’s heart should be to clench reliving the phantom pain of being broken. “I’m sorry, too. You needed me as well.” Alex said softly, her gaze taking in Kara’s appearance.

“I’ve been busy,” Kara muttered, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot under the scrutiny.

“Kara, you’re not doing well.” Alex stated bluntly.

Kara knew that she had let certain things slide about herself but they were meaningless in the grand scheme of things. “I need to do this. Lena is alive and she’s waiting.”

“Kara-” Alex began gently.

“Don’t! Don’t tell me I’m wrong!” Kara demanded, stepping back and lifting her chin in defiance. “If you’re not going to help me, fine. But don’t say she’s dead. At least not to my face.”

“I wasn’t.” Alex replied, jaw dropping in shock at Kara’s sudden emotional shift which instead of scaring Alex away only made her brown eyes sharpen with even deeper concern. “I wasn’t, Kara. But you need to look after yourself.”

Kara’s gaze dropped to the floor, frowning harshly but holding her tongue, not wanting to inflict any further hurt on her sister.

“Listen… okay, listen to me.” Alex pleaded. It was her turn now to reach out to Kara, hands rubbing up and down Kara’s biceps to provide comfort, to bridge the gap between them. “You want to save Lena, right? How do you expect to do that if you’re not looking after yourself? You need to eat and sleep. You need to be at your best because that’s what she deserves.” Kara’s head tilted to the side at that, listening attentively. “You need to take time for yourself because… because when you save Lena… you should give her something strong and stable to lean onto, because she’ll need that. You need to look after yourself and your life so that when it's time... you can look after Lena.” Alex bent down catching clouded over blue eyes, deep in thought. “Okay?”

Kara didn’t reply for a long time, her mind whirring with this new perspective. She glanced at her hands that were trembling, remembered how Lena’s hands had shook under the insurmountable pressure and strain thrown on her. Lena deserved steady hands. Someone who didn’t swing from one emotional extreme to another. Someone who was ready for their heart to be returned.

“Okay… for Lena.” Kara breathed out.

Alex smiled at her, warm and tremulous, “Okay… Let’s get you something to eat.”

Kara became an oddity, something people whispered about with those pitiful gazes, like there was something wrong with her that could never be made right. She was a mascot, a joke, a piece of gossip shared and exaggerated, a tall tale told to children to warn them of the dangers of not letting go.

The students at the university would creep to the edge of her lab to get a glimpse of her like it was a rite of passage. Every citizen knew her story. Knew Kara Danvers and Supergirl were one and the same, Kara Zor-El. Knew of the love she held for their Saviour, Lena Luthor. Knew that her sacrifice had destroyed Supergirl and left behind a changed woman that spent her days chasing fairytales.

The kind ones called her eccentric, felt she had more than earned her time away from the spotlight and didn’t judge her for not donning her cape again - Terra Nova didn’t need superheroes anyway.

The cruel ones, who had never suffered hardship or had suffered far too much of it (it was always one extreme or the other) called her delusional and callous for leaving humanity to rebuild on their own without their red-blue hero.

She was no longer Supergirl. No longer Kara Danvers either. To everyone else, she was merely known as a woman trying to get back to Earth to save a ghost. A cautionary tale of a woman who had lost herself believing in something that was impossible.

The Tinman brought to life, seeking his heart that Dorothy had taken back to Kansas with her.

She left her lab now, after that first year of sheer self-destruction, understanding that in her pursuit of a ghost she couldn’t allow herself to become one either, because if Lena was there, waiting and Kara did manage to bring her home, then Kara wanted to have a home ready for her. She wanted to be ready for her.

So Kara leant into the support of her friends, ensured she was there for them, listened to them and gave them time and consideration. In turn, they didn’t pull her away from her work, planned around her experiments and happily came and sat in her lab, filling the air with conversation whilst Kara’s hands worked on pieces of equipment.

Kara’s years went by divided into three sectors, each uneven fraction dedicated to the tasks identified by Brainy at the very start. It took Kara two and a half years to get her knowledge to a decent enough level to truly comprehend the underpinning science and workings of the transmat portal technology. The largest chunk was next, five years on materials.

Whilst Kara’s knowledge had reached a basic level that meant she could stand shoulder to shoulder with Lena’s previous team; re-designing the portal to account for materials no longer accessible required Kara to become an expert and pioneer. No longer memorising the work of others but forging her own path.

Thankfully, her life wasn’t solely anchored by her scientific pursuits, in no small part due to Alex and the Superfriends.

The years were also hallmarked by Kara’s loved ones own lives and their achievements.

Alex and Kelly were married during that second year post arrival on Terra Nova. Alex had been delaying the event until her and Kara were back on the same page. Kara stood as Alex’s maid of honour, the couple were wed on a black sand beach that was as close to Midvale-esque as they were ever going to get.

Following the wedding, Alex, after spending a couple of years providing tactical support to the Coalition, decided to return to medicine in a research-based capacity. The change provided a simpler routine that was more conducive to building a family and Alex (after the loss of her home planet) wanted to feel like she was putting something positive into the world and not just removing the negatives.

The third year saw Brainy and Nia’s engagement. Yet again, Kara stood as maid of honour, for Nia this time - Brainy chose to stand alone, everyone knowing that it would have been Lena standing by his side in that moment and that any substitution would not have measured up to his best friend.

The fourth year was when Alex finally approached Kara about her living situation. There were plenty of houses now, people having settled into their own communities, having staked their claim on their own piece of land. Kara was rich, Lena having left her considerable wealth to Kara that had been translated into the Terra Novan Currency (TNC) - no one was going to deny the saviour their fortune. The Coalition had repeatedly made it clear that Kara would be granted approval for a residence more or less anywhere she pleased. She had yet to take them up on the offer.

She was happy with the small, barely used apartment near the university that she only visited whenever Alex came to inform her she was well overdue a shower.

“You need a home, Kara.” Alex had insisted, putting her foot down when Kara had yet again hosted sister’s night in her lab, having still not furnished her flat with anything resembling a couch. Kara had grumbled and groaned until Alex had pulled out her trump card. “Lena needs a home. When you bring her back, are you really going to make her crash in your lab?”

Kara applied for a piece of land near the coast, an hour’s journey from the city (only a twenty-five minute flight). Building a house there on the cliff where you could hear the water crashing against the rocks became a bonding activity amongst the Superfriends, an activity to bring them all together and away from their demanding jobs. It was the only time Kara felt something close to happiness… contentment. Sitting there on a bench, listening to the waves around a bonfire, sipping a beer with Alex, Kelly, Brainy and Nia (they were occasionally joined by Barry and Iris) talking about everything and nothing.

Lena was a topic that could only be approached when they could tell Kara was settled and hopeful, it was never something to talk about when Kara started to grow morose and restless. They all spoke about the sights they wanted to show Lena, all the stories they would tell her.

They would talk about what Lena might be upto in the bunker, how with all this time she had probably become fluent in nearly every language, mastered the violin, built herself a robot dog, finally got around to watching crappy reality television (that she had promised she would never watch). The suggestions were only ever light and happy. They were all aware that if Lena was alive down there, shut off from the light without hope of being saved, the psychological damage would be severe.

That was the other thing… if…

Kara knew it was only her that truly believed Lena was still alive. Alex was the next most convinced purely because Kara needed her to believe. Brainy and Nia were doubtful but too kind to openly declare their doubts. Kelly played her cards close to her chest, it was hard to tell what she actually believed when it came to Lena’s fate. Her main concern, without a doubt, was Kara’s mental health.

Kara had put all of herself into saving Lena. The only thing keeping her going was saving the youngest Luthor, the only thing that could make Kara look after herself was by linking it to Lena in some way.

Kara knew it wasn’t healthy, knew that if Lena wasn’t alive… she would most likely return to that catatonic state. It was just… she had lost so much… so, so, so much… and losing Lena was just the straw (entire barn of hay) that broke the camel’s back.

It was Kelly that picked Kara up once a week and frog-marched her to see a psychiatrist who was attempting to get Kara to steadily start living for herself and not just for Lena. It was in vain but Kara took onboard the lessons as much as she could.

By the end of the fifth year, Kara’s house (built for her and Lena) was complete. Kara forced herself to fly back there every night, wanting the place to feel warm and lived in and a home.

By the sixth year, Kelly was pregnant and Kara was set to be an aunt any day now.

“I’ll be there, I promise.” Kara reassured her sister for the fourth time. Alex was on speakerphone providing company from afar as Kara ran an experiment with some of the new materials she had recently collected to assess their suitability. They were having a distanced sister’s night, what with Alex wanting to stay at home to look after Kelly, who was set to go into labour any day now. Alex’s nervousness was manifesting itself in her over-preparedness, regularly checking that the route to the hospital was free of traffic every fifteen minutes, that their to-go bag was prepped and that Kara wasn’t running off anywhere on another materials expedition anytime soon.

“Thanks, Kara.” Alex breathed in relief.

“Have you decided on a name yet?” Kara questioned.

“No,” Alex sighed defeatedly, “we keep going back and forth. I think we'll know when we meet her, you know? At least I hope so.”

“I’m sure you will.” Kara reassured, peering through a microscope, nimble fingers adjusting the magnification.

“Hey…” Alex said slowly, her tone shy and awkward enough that it earned Kara’s full attention.

“What?”

“Did you and Lena ever…” Alex began softly, her voice trailing off as if the rest of the sentence wasn’t necessary. Kara stayed quiet, eyeing the phone warily, waiting her sister out. She heard the inhale of breath her sister took as if to suck in courage as well as air for what she was about to say next, “Did you and Lena ever talk about kids?”

Kara pursed her lips, and crossed her arms, gaze dropping to the floor, “Lena and I weren’t together.”

“I know…” Alex murmured back, there was a beat, before a whisper, “but did you?”

Kara swallowed thickly, blinking rapidly to dispel the tears and ease the phantom pain in her chest, “Yeah… yeah, we did.”

“Ugh… another five minutes.” Kara grumbled, pulling Lena, who was attempting to get up out of their small cot, closer into her body.

“See, I knew your chirpy morning personality was a lie.” Lena chuckled, and Kara’s slumbering heart ached at how exhausted she sounded before the day had even begun.

“You caught me.” Kara whispered, smiling as she nuzzled into Lena’s back. “Sleep is glorious and there is nothing that should interrupt it.”

Kara didn’t need to look at the youngest Luthor’s face to know she was rolling her eyes. “And here I thought you wanted children at some point in the future...”

“Children that respect the sanctity of a good night’s sleep.” Kara replied, letting out a sleepy huff that caused Lena to shiver.

“Good luck with that.” Lena teased, her hands moving to cover Kara’s that were wrapped around her waist. “Your children will be blue-eyed devils.”

“Luke and Lori.” Kara yawned without thinking.

“Hmm?”

“The blue-eyed devils.” Kara explained.

“You’ve already picked out the names?” Lena asked quietly, mildly surprised.

“Not hard, limited options.”

“How so?” Lena laughed, twisting round so that they were nose to nose.

Kara’s closed eyes fluttered upon feeling Lena’s warm breath against her face, she hid her reaction to it with a helpless shrug, “Had to both start with L.”

“L?” Lena scoffed, “Why would they-”

Lena’s voice cut out, realising the answer without needing to ask the question.

Kara opened one eye, catching sight of the shocked, awestruck expression on Lena’s face. “It’s tradition, isn’t it?” Kara murmured shyly.

“Yeah… yeah, it is.” Lena breathed, a tentative smile lighting up her face as she reached out to tuck a lock of golden hair behind Kara’s ear. “I like the names Lori and Luke.”

“You do?” Kara beamed, blue eyes opening fully and twinkling.

“Yeah, they’re the perfect names for our little blue-eyed devils.”

“I can do it.” Kara announced, landing hard and panting heavily causing her group of friends who were gathered around the bonfire outside Kara’s home to jump to their feet.

“Kara, what-” Alex began, holding little Amelia closer to her chest as the toddler reached out with grabby hands for her favourite aunt.

Kara ignored everyone and marched right up to Brainy, declaring wide-eyed and frantic, “I solved all three problems. I can save her.”

Brainy’s expression went slack, his eyes darting around the group which had fallen conspicuously silent. “Kara, I…” He began nervously.

“I know none of you believe me.” Kara said bluntly, finally pointing out the large elephant that was always in attendance whenever Kara interacted with them. “I know that.” Kara sighed, looking around her loved ones with a sad, understanding smile. “I especially know you’re afraid of what happens when that portal opens and I find out that Lena-” Kara shook her head - she had held onto her faith for over nine years now, she was not going to forsake it when she was in the final stretch. “I’m going, regardless. I can have the portal built in a month…” Kara revealed before looking back at Brainy pleadingly, “two weeks if you help me. I know you don’t believe me and I’m not going to ask you to. But I am going to ask you to help me.” Kara’s shoulders caved forwards, as she wrung her hands together on the precipice of actually begging. “Please, please help me…”

Brainy blinked once, let out a shuddering breath and then, “Okay…”

“We’ll all help…” Alex announced stepping forward to squeeze Kara’s shoulder.

“Is that-” Kara started to ask as Brainy stepped forward holding out a familiar red and blue outfit Kara hadn’t laid eyes on for years, hadn’t worn for even longer.

The portal was ready, they were just waiting for the Coalition to divert the required power supply they needed. The Coalition had originally refused to give Kara the increased power she required since they, and the rest of humanity, fully believed Lena to be dead and that Kara’s obsession could only result in disaster - Brainy and Eliza had been the ones to convince them, leveraging their positions as Chief Scientist and Chief Medical Officer to gain their agreement.

“I figured… it was a special occasion.” Brainy murmured, smiling wanely at her.

He and the rest of the Superfriends, including Eliza, had taken two weeks of holiday from their respective jobs so that they could help in whatever they could to get the portal active.

“Thanks, Brainy.” Kara replied sincerely, accepting the familiar outfit and going to get changed.

It didn’t fit as well as it used to.

She was thinner so it hung off in places, and the dark shadows to her face made the colours just that little bit less vibrant than Kara remembered them being. She was glad to be wearing it though. It was what she had worn the last day she had seen Lena over nine years ago. It felt right that she should be wearing it nine years later when they finally reunited.

“You have to promise me something.” Alex said as she stepped up to stand by Kara’s side as Brainy checked over the final calibrations Kara had made, before they turned the portal on. “If she’s… gone… you still need to come back, okay?” Alex demanded; Kara stared at her sister’s profile to see that her expression had hardened in an attempt to hold back a wave of emotion but the tremble to her bottom lip belied how futile the fight was. “I need my sister. I need you. So… no matter what you find… you come back and we’ll figure out the next step together.” Alex glanced over at Kara revealing watery brown eyes. “Promise me. I need you to say it.”

Kara hesitated for a long moment but the thought of inflicting the pain she had experienced after losing Lena on Alex… on little Amelia, gave her the strength to nod once, firm and sure. “I promise, no matter what I’ll come back through.”

“Okay,” Alex breathed out a shuddering breath before pulling Kara into a tight hug and muttering, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Kara replied, wrapping her arms tightly around her sister and knowing that in an hour or so, she would be different.

She would either have her heart back or know, without a doubt, that it had been lost forever.

When she stepped through the portal, a metal wire connecting her to her lab in Terra Nova, she waved once at her family and friends. None of them waved back, all just nodded mournfully.

They were all convinced that Kara would find nothing good on the other side. Convinced that they would lose this tinman version of Kara to something far worse.

They didn’t wave because... who waves at a funeral?

Kara, though, gripped tighter onto her faith.

Lena is alive and she is waiting.

And now… now… she was literally mere steps away.

Absence supposedly makes the heart grow fonder, but that wasn’t true in Kara’s case. Her heart had been in stasis, countless lightyears away. Her love was paused. Ready to unfurl and grow the second her heart was returned to her.

“Okay, I got the angle slightly wrong…” Kara admitted with a wince, nowhere near as invincible as she used to be - kryptonite no longer required to inflict damage that a particularly powerful gun or explosion could do.

“You fell face first, didn’t you?” Alex’s voice sassed over the comms line as Kara let out a pained groan.

“Yep, face planted…” Kara lifted her head, disappointed to find herself staring down a dim corridor. She had forgotten how cold the concrete walls of the bunker were after all this time (the bunker had always been warm to Kara, mostly because of how close she always stood to Lena). It was then that Kara noticed the tiny marks carved into the concrete wall; they filled nearly all of the available wall space and ran down the length of the corridor.

“You know you can fly, right?” Alex reminded her, trying far too hard to keep their conversation light, to keep Kara light...

“I know I can fly but I wasn’t thinking about flying and didn’t react in time…” Kara huffed struggling to her knees; turning her head to see if the marks continued down the other side of the corridor, “and-”

The rest of her sentence died right there, turning to ash as she saw a figure at the other end of the corridor watching her.

“Kara, is everything okay? What’s happening?”

Kara knew the scenes in medical dramas where they shocked someone back to life were unrealistic and played for drama more than for accuracy, but… it was the closest description Kara could think of to explain what she went through in that moment.

Her heart was thrown back into her chest and shocked to life.

Lena was standing in front of her.

Lena was alive and she had been waiting.

She looked… looked like a miracle to Kara.

She was even paler now, no regular exposure to sunlight to keep a healthy complexion but other than that… she looked good. She was thinner but not in the same way as Kara. Her curves had receded to be replaced by muscles, her dark hair was still long but tied back in a practical ponytail, white hairs dotted here and there like stylish highlights rather than markers of growing old.

Her green eyes, however, were dimmed and her fingers kept tapping away awkwardly and uncoordinated in a blatant display of a nervous tic. She was wearing a heavily faded Midvale High School shirt, doc martens, worn-out jeans with a heavy duty belt from which various random tools and pieces of machinery were clipped to.

“You’re here… You’re really here…” Kara breathed out, her blue eyes drinking in the sight of Lena shifting shyly from foot to foot as she stroked the smooth metal surface of a piece of machinery standing as sentinel by her side for comfort.

“Lena?! She’s alive!”

Kara barely even registered the exclamation from her ear piece, her full focus entirely on the woman before her.

“Kara.” Lena murmured and oh, Rao… if hearing her name fall from Lena’s lips wasn’t the single greatest sound in the universe.

“Lena, you’re here…” Kara whispered totally awestruck, getting to her feet and taking slow, careful steps towards Lena, her fingers instinctively reaching out for the raven-haired woman.

“I don’t under-... this isn’t real… you’re not real… you can’t be real…” Lena stammered, shuffling backwards and away from Kara.

Kara couldn’t help the gasp of pain, her heart so close to being fully returned only to back away from her. It wasn’t even Lena putting space between them after so, so, so long apart… it was the fear and confusion in those green eyes that Kara had dreamt about every night that inflicted the true hurt.

The gasp of pain also came with the realisation that Lena wasn’t quite the same, that being alone and isolated had left its indelible mark… That Kara hadn’t saved all of her and that Lena hadn’t believed Kara would save her… and that… that broke Kara.

“Did I answer the knock? Is this a dream? Milo analyse the surroundings and conditions.” Lena ordered, dropping her gaze to her tablet as she tapped frantically against the screen, mumbling her every thought out loud. “Hallucination, most likely… potential causes… sleep deprivation? Unlikely, I have a set sleep schedule. Radioactivity has finally penetrated the bunker and has caused a multitude of health problems. Possible, though I take regular readings of-”

“Lena! Please, stop…” Kara cried, collapsing to her knees in front of Lena. “I’m here, okay? I’m really here!”

“No! No!” Lena shouted in return, “This isn’t real! Because… because… You’re meant to be married! You’re meant to be happy! You’re not meant to be here…” Lena’s breaths came out sharp and panicky, so obviously overwhelmed and Kara just wanted to soothe her.

If it was nine years ago Kara would know exactly how to do that. Back then Lena needed a grounding touch, needed to feel like she wasn’t alone, that someone was there to hold her and support her through it…

But would this Lena want that?

Would Lena jerk away from her touch?

Barbed wire had curled around Kara’s heart making her wary of getting too close until she had tenderly uncoiled every piece of twisted metal that had been threaded through it.

Here’s the thing though… The barbed wire hurt Kara to touch but Lena, her heart, was living with it, had endured the wire being inserted and had learnt to survive its constant barbs, now here Kara was disturbing it all. Anything Kara did would inevitably hurt Lena in some small way - confusion, panic and uncertainty - the very least she could do is hold Lena closer, if that's what she wanted, and share the pain.

Kara’s fingers reached out, and made gentle contact. It was the softest that Kara had ever touched anything, because this… Lena… deserved everything to be soft and tender and beautiful….

She wanted to pull Lena’s hands away from her face but she didn’t want to force Lena in any way, she just wanted her to know that Kara was really there and was not going anywhere.

Thankfully, miraculously… Lena leaned into her rather than away and Kara was gifted the scent of citrus with a hint of oil as Lena rested her forehead on Kara’s shoulder, accepting Kara’s support.

Her Lena was definitely still there and the barbed wire was not as copious as Kara had initially feared.

“Lena, how could I be happy without you?” Kara whispered, her fingers moving ever so carefully from Lena’s biceps, round to her back… so tenderly wrapping Lena up in her arms, finally, finally able to breathe after years of holding her breath. “Let me take you home, please, please Lena… let me take you away from here, please…” Kara begged, pressing featherlight lips against Lena’s forehead. “Let’s go see that sunset, yeah?”

Lena pulled away and before Kara had a chance to feel hurt about the distance, the kryptonian felt calloused, wonderful palms cupping her face and wiping away the tears that Kara hadn’t even realised she was shedding until Lena’s thumbs wiped them away. “You still want to? Even after all this time?”

Kara barely resisted the urge to laugh at the sheer preposterousness of the question.

“It’s all I’ve thought about.” Kara confessed and she felt her face ache with the size of the smile trying to take over her face.

And if Kara thought that seeing Lena, being reunited with her heart, couldn’t get any better she was about to be proven totally wrong because green eyes dipped down and honed in with intent. For the first time in nearly a decade Kara’s stomach swooped with that heady mixture of arousal and nerves that only Lena could evoke.

Kara breathed in sharply and leaned forward when-

“Sha-la-la-la-la-la, music play, do what the music say, you wanna kiss the girl.” Kara’s head whipped around to see a… a… robot dog singing????

Kara’s eyebrows shot up as the greyhound-shaped piece of metal with glowing green LED eyes, banged its tail excitedly on the floor as it moved its shiny head from Lena to Kara and back again.

“Thanks, Milo.” Lena chuckled wetly; Kara had forgotten what Lena’s throaty laugh sounded like and she could feel her whole body lighten up after hearing it that she had to will herself not to start hovering off the floor. “I have a robot dog, now.” Lena explained needlessly, cheeks turning an embarrassed pink that made Kara truly have faith that everything would be okay between them regardless of whatever came next.

“I can see that.” Kara replied with a laugh, her hand reaching out to brush through Lena’s dark hair, as she asked her voice brimming with hope, “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, yeah, I am…” Lena admitted with a fervent nod of her head before pressing a delicate kiss to Kara’s cheek. “I want to see that sunset.”

#supercorp #supercorp fanfic #ends of the earth #end of the world AU #posting this now because i've nearly finished the other parts of this story #yes i said other parts #i may have got carried away

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readyplayerhobi · 5 years ago

Text

Flower | 19

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, slight angst

; Word Count: 5k

; Warnings: Brief mentions of depression, anxiety

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: A chapter that’s a little bit more fluffier :D thank you for the love and as usual, please send me comments or feedback so I can see you’re enjoying it still! :D We’re almost halfway through!

; Flower Masterpost

“Ooh, look at that house.” Hoseok murmurs, almost to himself given how quiet his voice had gone. Pausing from your walk, you turn around and see that he’s stopped a feet away, his camera being held up to his eye as he looks through the viewfinder. There’s a few moments where he shifts around, trying to find the best angle and lighting before you hear the click of the shutter.

He’s not even looking at you as he begins walking again, instead his eyes are focused on the LCD screen on the back of his camera. Leaning against him a little when he finally reaches you, you peer around at what he’d just taken a photo of and smile in amusement.

After all of the bad stuff that had happened recently, you’d found yourself needing to do something to distract yourself. The antidepressants no longer gave you any major side effects and you thought that they were working, though it was probably too early to say yes or no for definite. But you also wanted to thank Hoseok for being so sweet and reliable.

As such, you’d asked Chungha if her family might let you use their beach house for the weekend. It was one of those big, rambling wooden beach houses that always looked so pretty, its yard bumping up against soft white sand and an endless expanse of beautiful blue ocean as far as the eye could see.

The town it was in was equally picturesque, one of those places that looks like it’s been transplanted from some old European place with plenty of old style charm and warmth. Chungha’s house had apparently been in her family for generations; some long ago ancestor had built it themselves when they’d arrived and since then, her family had moved on and it had become more of a holiday home.

You’d been there once during college when Chungha had invited Soyeon and you for spring break. It had been a great time and you’d just known that Hoseok would love it all, particularly for his photography.

So you’d told him to make sure he wasn’t doing anything this weekend and to bring his camera before driving out here. He’d been excited enough to know that you were both spending a weekend at the beach, apparently he loved the ocean, but when he actually saw the town as you were driving through and then the house he’d been thoroughly charmed by it all.

That had been yesterday, the both of you getting to see the town just as the sun was setting in the winter hours and so today, Saturday, was the first time you were getting to show him it all properly. The house he’d just taken a picture of was on one of the little side streets and it looked adorably quaint, its wooden front painted a delicate shell white with baby pink window frames and a soft yellow door.

Flower boxes full of what must be winter blooming flowers and plants were hung from the windows while planters of small, ornate bushes framed the door. The awnings along the roof were also wood but had been intricately carved, giving it the impression of some kind of fairytale house.

The photos that Hoseok had taken looked pretty enough, but you knew that he’d do some magical editing later and they’d look beautiful. You could already see how the contrasting colours would look perfect against the greenery surrounding the building and you couldn’t help the smile that spread over your face as Hoseok made little noises as he walked.

He did that a lot when he was happy, and you didn’t know if he knew he did it. You weren’t going to tell him though, because you didn’t want him to get embarrassed about it and stop doing them. It made you happy to hear his vocalisation of his own emotions, and you needed some happiness lately.

Wrapping your arm around his, you pressed against him until he veered slightly off course. Looking up, he checks that he’s not about to walk off the road before looking down at you with a grin, letting his camera drop to hang by the strap around his neck and withdrawing his arm from your grasp before placing it around your waist contentedly.

“This place is great, my photos are gonna look awesome.” He commented, his tone already distracted as he spotted something new in the distance that had attracted his attention. Smiling, you simply lay your head against his shoulder and just…enjoy his presence. You’d been well aware of his love for photography and had watched over the last few months as he’d done some casual stuff around the place you lived in alongside taking your photos for your Instagram.

But this was the first time you were truly seeing the raw passion he had for it. The way his eyes lit up when he got a good shot or how bright his smile became when he saw something that he knew would look perfect on camera.

“Why didn’t you do photography professionally? Your photos are great and you obviously love it, you’ve got a good eye.” You ask, looking up at him as he evidently decides that he’s not going to take another photo.

For a few seconds, he doesn’t respond but you can tell by the way he purses his lips slightly and his dimples come to life that he’s thinking about the answer for you. Eventually, thought he just shrugs.

“Because I was young and dumb? I liked photography when I was a teenager but it was never my number one thing. And then I went to college and finally learnt to handle my emotions better. By that point…I just wanted something stable in my life. As much as I love photography, I know that it’s not really a hugely stable job and I might never make it. I wasn’t ready to risk myself when I’d finally gotten my life on track again.” He sounds a little bit wistful but it vanishes as he shrugs lightly.

“It’s fine, I love my job now and I love computers. I get to enjoy photography as a hobby, which is all I want to be honest. I’d be worried that if I turned my hobby into my job then I wouldn’t love it anymore, you know?” Nodding, you hum gently as you ponder on his question intently.

Hoseok is only two years older than you, and sometimes it feels like he’s got his whole life sorted out already. Like he’s a real adult and you’re just a pretend adult. The thought makes you laugh to yourself, shaking your head as Hoseok gives you a querying look.

He’d probably think the same thing if you told him. What was being an adult anyway? You still called your dad for the simplest of things after all.

Smiling to yourself, you huddle further into Hoseok’s warmth and take the opportunity to simply chat lightly with him. Next weekend, you would be going to his parents for the first time. And if he’d been nervous to meet your parents, then you were terrified to meet his.

Hoseok’s family was pretty well off compared to yours and he’d never really wanted for anything. The fact that they’d lost a daughter made that all seem pointless in comparison really, but it made you feel a little sick thinking about it. You were dating their only child now, the only child they had left out of what had been two.

He’d never said anything but nice things about them but you knew that parents were always god in their children’s eyes. Especially if they had no negative emotions or feelings towards them. And Hoseok adored his mom, you knew that. But that just made it all the more worse.

You’d read more than enough subreddits to have realised that there was a special category of mom and that was the moms of sons. Some seemed to be fine, but some seemed to act like a girlfriend was taking their place in their son’s life. There were plenty of horrifying stories out there of women treating their sons girlfriend or wife horrifically bad and the son being unable to see it because of how much he loved her.

While you doubted Hoseok’s mom was like that, and for that you didn’t really think Hoseok would react happily if his parents were mean, it was still a worry. You’d never met a guy’s parents before. So that was all rushing through your mind as well. Yet another reason you’d opted to spend this weekend just enjoying each other’s company.

Taking a breath, you let you a small ‘ooh’ as you realised that you smell something delicious. Looking to the side, your eyes widen as you see a café with its door swinging shut, sending a waft of delightful smells your way. The delicious looking array of baked goods and sweets in the shop front make it even more enticing and you purse your lips as your mouth waters.

Pausing, you let go of him to step closer, focusing intently on a delicious red velvet cake that was topped with decadent buttercream frosting. You don’t even realise you’re making a face at the cake until you hear Hoseok’s chuckle and the sound of a shutter once more.

Looking at him with wide eyes, you sigh affectionately as you see him pulling his camera down with a grin. Turning it around he shows you see the image that he’d just taken and you smile at how he’d focused on your face, the background soft and pretty as you stared intently into the café front.

You always hated having your photograph taken, until Jung Hoseok had started taking them. As long as he was the one behind the camera, you knew that he wouldn’t make you look ugly or anything.

“Do you want one?” He asks, gesturing to the display. Humming lightly, you chew on your lip before nodding with a smile. This was a weekend of doing stuff to make you happy, which obviously meant that you had to treat yourself.

The answering grin on Hoseok’s face tells you that he probably knows that, but he doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he gestures for you to go inside the dual café and shop. It’s nice and warm inside, making you realise just how brisk and chilly it had been outside and you unwrap your scarf from around your neck.

“Go sit down, I’ll get your stuff.” Hoseok says, leaning forward and kissing your forehead quickly before handing you his camera and backpack. You take both from him without complaint, wanting to tell him that you’ll pay but you know there’s no way he’s letting that happen right now.

You’d learnt to pick your fights with Hoseok, or arguments rather. Particularly as you hated arguing and all of that so you tried your hardest to not argue at all. And this wasn’t something worth the time or effort.

The café isn’t that busy so you make sure to grab a table a little further inside. It’s only knee high but the dark red couch that accompanies it looks far too comfy to give up, particularly given the abundance of soft, multi-patterned cushions.

Carefully placing Hoseok’s camera on the table and his backpack on the floor, you add your own bag before sinking down into the blissfully squishy couch. The cushions practically envelop you and you can’t help but smile as you almost fall backwards, resting against the equally soft back.

Yeah, this was a good spot. And it let you people watch in the whole café along with a perfect view of the street outside.

Hoseok came over with a tray in his hands and you take a moment to peruse him, enjoying the little triangle his lips have turned into as he concentrates on not dropping anything. It makes him look adorably cute, which is at complete odds with the rest of his look.

His one concession to being in this pretty town today had been that he was wearing a white shirt, just a hint of the outline of his tattoo whenever he moved a certain way. But that was it though. Otherwise, he definitely didn’t look like he belonged in this place.

Grey distressed jeans with holes ripped into the knees met his new pair of black Dr Martens, a present he’d bought himself after a particularly hard week. An equally dark leather jacket was slung casually over his shoulders, the silver points on it highlighted by the silver necklaces he wore and the new hoops in his ears and the ring in his lip.

As usual, he looked incredibly handsome and the perfect picture of grunge and rock. But he really didn’t fit this overly…dainty town and you almost wanted to laugh at how out of place his fashion was, even in this café. He must be used to it by now, particularly given he was dating you but it still amused you anyway.

“What are you laughing at?” Eyes widening, you realise that you must’ve been smiling or something at him because he had a decidedly amused look on his face as he places the tray on the table. A big slice of red velvet cake is placed in front of you alongside a fork while he puts a fancy looking sandwich down in front of himself before sitting.

He’s got you a tall glass of water, flavoured with some real strawberries that makes you ‘ooh’ in delight while he takes a sip of whatever tea he’d bought. Peering over at his plate, you give him a raised brow and he smiles.

“Pastrami, Swiss cheese, mayo, tomato and lettuce.” He grins and you make another noise, watching intently as he takes a bite. A spot of mayo stays on the corner of his lips and you reach over, wiping it away with one of the paper napkins he’d brought too.

“Good?” You ask, curious as you eye the thickly stacked sandwich questioningly. Pausing, Hoseok looks at you before nodding and making a sigh so quiet that you almost didn’t hear it. But then he offers it to you, gesturing for you to take a bite and you grin happily.

The flavours burst in your mouth, combining together beautifully and you let out the tiniest moan of contentment at just how delicious they all are. You’re surprised Hoseok doesn’t mind the mayonnaise given he’s not a fan of it, but you suppose it’s just like people liking tuna mayo and not mayonnaise.

The next fifteen minutes are spent with the both of you slowly eating the sandwich, one bite at a time and you can’t help but hum happily with how…content you feel with everything right now. It’s a very bizarre concept to you and you’re sure it’s the antidepressants, working properly like they’re supposed to.

Maybe it’s just a placebo effect, but you can’t find it in yourself to care.

“God this place is so nice.” Hoseok sighs once he’s finished, slumping on the couch and resting his hands over his stomach. You poke it gently and giggle as he overly exaggerates a pout before reaching forward for the plate of cake. Take a large section, you eat it slowly and make an appreciative noise before glancing back at your boyfriend.

“This is so good, holy shit.” You whisper, eyes widening as he laughs loudly at your reaction. His mouth is engaged pretty quickly though as you feed him a piece of the cake, watching as he contemplates for a second before nodding agreement with you.

Wriggling in your seat, you continue to eat the cake with sole minded focus while Hoseok just watches you for a moment. That is, until he reaches for his camera, popping the lens off and changing it for you knew was better for closer shots. Sure enough, just like you’d suspected, he lifts the camera up and raises a brow at you, asking the question silently.

With a mouth full of cake, you don’t answer verbally but instead nod a little shyly as you swallow as quickly as possible. It just makes him snort though, lifting the camera to his face and angling it exactly how he wanted. You’re not entirely sure what he wants you to do but you can’t help but look down at the plate, fork cutting into the soft cake as you try not to feel too embarrassed about him photographing you in a place where other people are probably looking.

Outside it felt fine, but it felt very personal in here with the dimmer lighting and such.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Hoseok says, his voice soft as he checks over the image and you feel so many emotions at once that you’re not sure what you’re actually feeling. Embarrassed? Pleased? Shy? Happy? He’s the only man who’s ever called you beautiful outside of your dad.

So you deflect it with sarcasm, because that’s how you dealt with things that made you feel shy. A terrible coping mechanism, you know, but it has got you through life so far.

“Has that sandwich turned you sappy? Or was it the cake?” From the way Hoseok’s lips twist, you can tell that he wants to laugh but instead he just continues to flick through the photos he’s taken over the day. It’s one of the things you like best about him, that he never lets your awkwardness interrupt.

“Can I take one of us?” He asks, his voice gentle as he poses the question to you. You loved that about him, that he’d learnt to always ask if he could take a photograph of you both together. Nodding, you lean into his body and smile at the camera as he holds it out in front of you both. There’s a moment of nothing before he clicks the button a few times.

Placing the now empty plate down, you lean back on the couch and let out a deep sigh, belly full and your mind happy. There would have been a time when you’d have been ashamed of your body after eating, not wanting Hoseok to see anything that he might find ugly. But you’d learnt by now that he wasn’t like that, and he didn’t even notice that kind of stuff.

So you let yourself just relax fully against the cushions, moving your hand to rest on his thigh and simply enjoying the contact while he looks at the selfies. He shows them to you and you can’t help but feel a flutter in your stomach at how happy you both look, your eyes bright with sweet smiles on both your faces. You’d also discovered that you liked having your photo taken with him.

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence after that, the sounds taken up instead by the gentle music flowing through the speakers, the quiet chatter of other customers and the clinking of cutlery on plates. It all feels very…domestic and you have one of those moments where you realise how strange this all is for you.

If you’d been told a year ago that you’d be sat here, on a weekend break to a little beach town with your boyfriend of nine months after suffering a breakdown and finally reaching out for help, you’d have laughed in their face. Being on antidepressants might have been believable sure, but a boyfriend? That’s been with you for nine months?

No, you would’ve never believed that.

And yet here he was, in all his outrageously attractive glory with his calm and reassuring presence. For you. Because of you.

Hoseok smiles at something on his camera and you can’t help the smile in response, a bubble of emotion rising inside you as you watch the way his eyes almost glitter, the skin beneath them swelling in that way they do when he’s happy and the shape of his eyes becoming those sweet little half moons that he always got when he was feeling particularly joyful. It was a mix of happiness, fondness and something else, something much deeper.

“You have such pretty eyes.” You whisper without meaning to, practically purring with delight as those eyes get even smaller as his cheeks rise from the size of the grin he’s sporting. There’s just a hint of pink on them now and you coo at him, carefully taking his camera and putting it into the shooting mode.

Lifting it up to your eye, you wonder if the camera will ever be able to get across just how much you care for this man. Just how much you adore him and will treasure him for as long as you are able to have him. You’re not sure, but you want to try at least.

His face comes into focus in the tiny viewfinder and you watch in enjoyment as he gets a slightly bashful look on his face, your compliment evidently still being consumed. But you don’t let him off that easy and instead decide to lay it on a little thicker.

“Such pretty eyes and a beautiful nose. You’re so handsome, I swear. It’s not fair. Even your smile is like a heart!” The pink starts to stain deeper, his ears slowly turning too while he bites at his lip, the silver ring catching the light perfectly and you snap away happily.

He lets you take photos with the camera until finally he reaches out, gesturing for it. You give it back to him happily, content that he went along with you long enough that you got some pretty pictures of him. Leaning back against his arm, you rest your head on his shoulder and watch as he flicks through the pictures.

“I want those pictures. Just so you know.” You state, letting him know that he’s going to have to edit them for you and he can’t just delete them. He doesn’t argue back, just nodding before pressing a kiss to your forehead affectionately.

The sea here during summer is a beautiful blue that shimmers like a jewel, but at the moment it’s duller. A coldness rolls in from afar, the waves harsher with the oncoming winter and you shiver inside your coat, wrapping your arms around your waist.

After leaving the café, Hoseok and you had walked around the town some more. He’d taken a few more pictures of things he thought were interesting before you’d asked if you could take some photographs too. That has resulted in him giving you a quick tutorial in how to use his camera in depth. You had a brief experience with it obviously, but actually doing anything more than just simply clicking wasn’t something you had experience with.

It had been fun though. Not only had you enjoyed taking the photos themselves, along with the process of trying to decide what would make a good shot, but you’d enjoyed interacting with Hoseok about something he was passionate about. You felt like he’d done a lot of the heavy lifting in your relationship so far, and you wanted to try and show more of an interest in what made him happy.

And he seemed to quite enjoy teaching you different shooting techniques. It wasn’t ever going to be your thing, but you’d decided that you would be more than happy to go along with him whenever he got the creative urge.

Now though, you were both walking along the beach back to the house. It perhaps wasn’t as nice of a walk as it could have been given the chilly temperatures, but it gave you the perfect opportunity to get closer to Hoseok.

Leaning into him as you both trudge against the shifting sand beneath your feet, you can’t help but smile as the wind blows the familiar smell of Hoseok to you. You’d always thought that he smelled good and the thought runs through your mind even now, thankful that he was someone who actually took care of himself.

There had been far too many guys in college who had thought that hygiene was just a word they couldn’t spell properly.

Neither of you says anything, too happy and content in the familiar silence between you both and you’re thankful for that too. It had always been hard to find people with whom silence was just a comfortable experience and not an anxiety inducing event where you mentally scrambled for a topic to talk about.

With Hoseok though, you didn’t feel that need to talk and he didn’t bother with any small talk either. Instead, you both just enjoyed the world around you and the simple company of each other.

You don’t notice that he’s fallen behind you once more, too concentrated on not falling over in the sand as you spy the house in the distance. It’s only when you go to reach out for his hand, hoping to curl your fingers together inside the pocket of his coat and find nothing but air that you realise.

Turning around, a particularly harsh and severe wind cuts through you, causing you to wrap your arms around yourself even tighter as you shiver while you stagger slightly from the force. Looking back at Hoseok with wide eyes, you can’t help but laugh when you see how red his cheeks have gone from the windchill. His camera is being slowly lowered and you can see that even his fingers are red too.

Reaching up, you cup his cheeks and coo gently at how cold they feel against your hands, thumbs stroking the slight stubble growing from his lack of shaving this morning. Grinning, you eye his nose in amusement, the elegant tip now pink from the cold sea breeze.

Pushing up onto your tiptoes, you press your lips to said nose affectionately. It’s gentle and quick, but you bite your lip as you see the happy look in his brown eyes.

“Cold nose.” You tease him lightly, moving one hand to press the tip of your forefinger against it. He lets you for a few seconds before moving his head just enough to allow him to kiss your finger instead, his gaze warm against the chilly conditions.

“I love you.” Hoseok says it so casually that you don’t even really register what he’s just said at first. Instead, you’re still just smiling at him with a look of pure girlish happiness on your face from how sweet he looks and the adorable reaction he’d had to your kiss.

And then it does. Those syllables become words in your head and those words gain meaning, causing you to jolt back from him slightly as you comprehend them.

Your eyes must be astonishingly wide right now, your jaw dropped open at some point and in the back of your mind, you note how cold your teeth feel against the wind. But that’s not what you can focus on.

Hoseok loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he’s told you this.

No one had ever told you that they loved you outside of friends and family. A swirl of emotions forms a vortex in your stomach and you’re not sure whether you want to cry, shout, dance for joy or throw up. It wasn’t really a big deal, people said it to each other all the time, right?

“I don’t expect you to say it, and I’ve held back until I felt you might be able to accept it a little better. But I really do. And I hope me telling you can make you as happy as I feel telling you.” Now he’s cupping your face, the palms of his hands so hot against your cheeks.

And he’s smiling, lips spreading and his white teeth showing as the gesture gets wider and bigger with dual amusement and happiness. For a few seconds, you simply gawp at him, unable to form words before you look away, shyness you haven’t felt in months with him rising to the fore.

“Even after…everything?” You don’t need anyone to pull apart what you’ve just said as you understand it better than anyone. After the breakdown and crippling depression, the side effects of the antidepressants, the long time it’s taken for him to get anywhere with you in terms of a relationship. You were happy with how everything had gone with him, but you knew that there would be many men who would be frustrated.

“Yep. And I don’t want to make a big thing out of this, okay? It’s just how I feel. I don’t want to overwhelm you or have expectations on you. The sun is hot, space is big, this wind is really cold and I love you. That’s all. Now, I think maybe we should head back to the house, call for takeout and then spend the rest of the night cuddled up. Sounds good?” Just like he’d said, he doesn’t ponder on what he’d said.

And you understand him instinctively, because you would be the same way. He evidently doesn’t want to analyse his words, maybe because he just doesn’t want to or maybe because he didn’t want to make you overthink.

But you can’t deny the fizzing happiness that zaps through your veins as you smile at him brightly, the emotion beating out everything else you’re feeling to be the most prominent. He loves you.

“Netflix and chill?” You ask, your voice a tiny bit hoarse and a little shy, but Hoseok takes your words with a grin of relief as he nods.

Tangling your fingers together, he begins to walk back down the beach while you keep pace beside him. “Thought you’d never ask.”

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thegoldenreport · 4 years ago

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MIND BENT

Pretending to be someone else is easy, especially when you’ve been doing it your whole life. Amber-Eye 098 is an top tier imitation artist from the Southern Moon district, who has almost twelve years of experience under her belt in deceiving the general public for fun.

She recently sat down with Golden Report executives to share one such experience - how she managed to infiltrate Jatty’s Candy Cave and impersonate the titular owner, while remaining undetected for three months.

If the name of “Jatty’s Candy Cave” doesn’t ring a bell for you or stir up a primordial urge to vomit, we highly recommend an appointment with your local re-education services to rectify the issue. But in the mean time, we’ll ask you a very simple question, what’s really in their candy?

Or to put it in a different way...

Are you meant to be seeing the buzzing, glitching, oozing shadow that stands in the corner of your room at all times?

…

AE098: Whenever I approach a new character, I choose to look first at their environment. Their people. You can tell a lot about how a person is supposed to act just by looking at their people.

Jatty’s Candy Cave, for example, is housed in a very elaborate sewer system underneath the inner city of West Logos. Jatty doesn’t voluntarily share this information, but somehow makes sure her customers spread it like the plague. She wants to be known far and wide, yet continues to stay hidden. Chosen isolation perhaps as a method of retaining control? A walking contradiction nonetheless.

Sending several camera flies into the underground system confirmed she didn’t work alone. A personal assistant named Rael followed her every beck and call. Visuals showed him to be a funny little man who changed his aesthetic and vocal inflection on the daily. Though tended to favor anything revolving around a space or astronaut theme. It was a good thing I wasn’t stealing his identity.

Jatty, on the other hand, donned an a-line purple skirt, skin tight black turtle neck, dark green combat boots (which just so happened to be the same shade as her nefarious chemical ingredient, zeroX), and a pair of velvet back gloves that extended her fingers into claws.

Unlike Rael, she wore this suit on the regular and showed no signs of switching it up. Which of course made things ridiculously convenient for my costumes associate. She does such a sublime job at matching garments down to the very fabric and shade. I had nothing but confidence in her work.

I remember spending long evenings in her sewing shop, top floor of the special ops building. Trying on the boots and pacing around the floor. Feeling out the walk of, shall we say...a potential murderer? An ill advised chemistry enthusiast? Mad science extraordinaire? I wouldn’t know for sure until I became her.

Everything is a performance. Everyone has a good side. Everyone loves to act for the camera that isn’t even there. You may be wondering why we even go through the trouble of full body espionage if we already send in a hundred camera flies to wire tap the place. To that I say again, everything is a performance. The name of the game is not just tearing down the curtain, but walking backstage. The one place a camera refuses to go.

Further audiovisual input revealed her voice to be low and musky, like she constantly had to be clearing her throat (of her own toxins, perhaps?). We had vocal modifier pills that could mimic this effect. And her walk was always brisk in comparison to the slower moving factory workers. She was a being in motion, a blur that could not stop for more than a few moments at a time. And it wasn’t just an urgency to it, but a nervousness, a real fear. I was excited to discover more.

In the days leading up to my deployment, special operatives performed what we like to call a body snatch. Methodically extracted in such a way that Jatty would not even think to deny leaving with us. We offered an opportunity, intentionally vague, but sweet enough to seal the deal. Or that’s how it started.

In reality, we slipped a sleeping agent into her water glass, while discussing terms in the late hours of the evening. I’m not entirely sure where they took her, but by that point, I was ready.

MEETINGS

This is the word I would use to describe my first month in character. I remember the night I slipped into her office chair, torn faux leather at a cherry red mahogany desk. I remember the stickiness of said office chair. I remember pouring through her journals, her agenda books, her middle school science books. She was a being on the move, constantly meeting with someone. But for what?

One such meeting that stook out to me was with a blue deer handler, and only in my second week of deployment. I had read about this particular blue deer. And the sweet nectarine like flavor of it’s blood. Our conversation was brief, speaking about his latest harvest for the factory. He had come across a surplus, could give more this month than before. I was immediately suspicious. Could this blood contain the hallucinogenic properties I had heard about?

Unfortunately, the answer was no. Can confirm. I tried it myself.

It was however the main component of almost all their candy’s flavor profile. But I couldn’t have cared less about the flavor.

CHEMICALS

My second month felt the most comfortable. No one had yet raised a suspicious eye towards me, save for a few factory workers who I quickly disposed of, as per my training. I had gotten used to the endless walking. Learning to digest informative material while on the go. Like all those mad scribbles in her middle school science textbook. Keeping all conversations either short or long depending on what the situation called for.

I had internalized every type of candy we made in the Cave. The pipes hissed. The air smelled like swamp water. The work room was a mental prison of blood, sweat, and flickering lights. It was here that I learned the ingredients. That I tasted the fruit for the first time. Although I was pretty good at pretending I had done it many times.

She must have built up a tolerance to the drugs they use if she does this on the regular.

The candy I tried was called Vox. A lime green sucker that slowly turns into goo as it melts in your mouth. The color is deceptive. One might expect it to taste like an apple or even a lime. It tasted like salted butter.

This particular candy among many others contained a key ingredient known as zeroX: an opaque, thick, dark green almost black liquid at room temperature. Meant to be highly addictive. Meant to simulate an adrenaline rush. Meant to make the whole body shiver. The eyes dilate. The palms sweat. You feel like an imposter in your own skin. You believe that the voices on the radio are talking directly to you. The paranoia crawls deep into your brain, filling the space behind your eyes.

But you don’t hallucinate.

Can confirm, as I locked myself in the chief office and rode out it’s side effects on the wave of a panic attack.

SECRETS

In the middle of month 3, we received a mysterious package from a tall man in a black trench coat. My assistant Rael brought it to me at my desk, during one of the few times I had felt comfortable sitting down. He seemed to know exactly what it was. And assumed I also knew.

It was a black box, no seams or openings, no buttons or lights or switches. The only thing of note was a silver etching of an eye marked out with an X. It was a symbol that made me shudder. I had seen it all over the textbook. I had seen it plastered on every police car and above every government building. It’s a symbol you should all know. That was the first secret.

Our own leaders were in on it. Turning a blind eye.

That was the beginning of the crack in my facade. That little pause. That miniscule choke before my answer. I noticed a glimmer of something in Rael’s eyes. Confusion. Doubt. Suspicion. Patrons not trained in this artform might miss a cue like that, but I knew I had to begin my extraction.

A week later, I exposed my taste to zeroC. One of two chemicals they used as zeroX was designated for hard candy and zeroC for soft. Only five percent of their production contained soft candy. They don’t talk about zeroC. They mix it under tables or in dark corners of the room where the light doesn’t touch them. Which leads to the second secret.

The black box was zeroC, ground up like powder to be mixed with the syrup.

I had been reading about this less popular ingredient written upside down between the lines of Jatty’s incredibly weathered textbook. Similar to the effects of LSD or DMT, but extremely more potent and infinitely more long lasting. Made with the same blood of that fantastical blue deer.

I was fearing the inevitable. My weekly tasting of the newest batch. I could not fake it. All the workers lined up to stare at me at I sat before their production table and consumed their poison. There are some things you simply cannot fake before that many eyes.

I felt the sweet juice explode in my mouth as the candy’s skin broke between my teeth. I swallowed with all the confidence of returning to my office to take a shot of my emergency counteractive medicine.

I immediately started to cry. A side effect I was not expecting. The emotion swallowed me as they all stared. Some perplexed. Some, dare I say, satisfied? I stumbled through the hallways. Rael chasing after me with a clipboard. I didn’t turn to look at him. Escaped to my office, shut the door, and locked it. Which brings me to the third and final secret.

I had been fooling no one. They knew.

Sitting behind the cherry stained mahogany desk was the real Jatty, holding the shattered remains of the syringe, which contained my antidote. Ice blue eyes magnified by the chemicals coursing through my body. Her glare pierced through my skull. I don’t know if she escaped, if I was set up, or if my extraction was on short notice. My supervisors have neglected to tell me.

But as I was there with knees buckled and tunnel vision, I saw the black shadow of a hand appear on her shoulder and she whispered.

Don’t forget this. You people have no control.

I blacked out after that. My supervisors came to collect me after some time. I felt their arms wrapped around me as they dragged me out, slipping in and out of consciousness. Unable to process the shocking and also very strange things I was hearing.

Something about not keeping the deal. Something about craving orange juice. Another thing about an early return. And another thing about wombats in space.

I was in recovery for three weeks afterwards while our physicians on hand constructed an antidote. The hallucinations have stopped, but the paranoia is still palpable. They offered me a mind wipe pill, asked me if I wanted to forget.

I told them it was impossible.

#the golden report #issue two #unreality #paranoia #drugs #original #storytelling #hallucination #delusion #let me ask you this #is this the kind of exposure you wanted?#jatty's candy cave

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travllingbunny · 5 years ago

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Clarke Griffin’s memories and images in her mindspace

In this post I will list all the drawings from Clarke's mindspace seen in season 6 of The 100 (in episodes 6x06, 6x07 and 6x10) that we have been able to spot - most of which (over 90 of them! Yes, this is gonna be a long post) we've been able to identify, with image comparisons to scenes from the show.

First, credit where credit is due: this idea first came from @ofnailbatsandaxefives who identified many of the drawings and made a bunch of side to side comparisons last year after 6x07 aired in this post.

I later tried to identify the rest of the drawings, with the help of a few people here and on Twitter (rewatching the show also helped), but this resulted in an endless number of reblogs. Episode 6x10 Matryoshka also had more drawings that weren't in 6x07 Nevermind, some images were misindentified, and I decided to redo all the images with better resolution screencaps.

Big thanks to everyone who helped in identifying some of the trickier images (many of them are on Twitter and I don’t know if they have Tumblr profiles), especially (Twitter handles) SheiGarche (who identified several of these and corrected some of my mistakes), Lovestory813, BellarkeMood, taunadora, becki_travels, fabiana_vec, indreamswake, KindZouzou and my Tumblr mutual @jeanie205 (I’m sorry if I forgot anyone).

See also my earlier post about Sets, props and costumes in 6x07 Nevermind.

As a BONUS in addition to the images on Clarke’s memory wall, I’ll also go over audio flashbacks heard at the end of 6x06, in 6x07 and 6x10 - as a mix of voices representing Clarke’s jumbled memories. Many of them can be heard and identified in the episodes, but special thanks to (Twitter user) klarksbell for removing the background sounds from the scenes so some of the background voices could be heard clearer.

(In a follow-up post. I’ll go over Clarke's drawings from her Shallow Valley home in season 5, which we also saw in the mindspace version of her Shallow Valley home in her happy place; and those we saw in season 5, many of which overlap as the set was re-used for 6x07. I’ve also noticed that the art department used many of these drawings for the drawings representing Clarke’s memories on her mindspace wall.)

Before I start listing the moments from Clarke’s memory wall - her mindspace version of the actual cell in Skybox she used to be locked in on the Ark - let’s compare the two different versions of this wall. The first one was seen in the very last scene of 6x06 Memento Mori - where we first learned Clarke was still alive (yeah, yeah, of course no one really bought it that she was dead ;) but it was still such a Hell yeah moment) and in 6x07 Nevermind.

But when we saw Clarke in her mindspace again in 6x10 Matryoshka, the walls were different: there were at least 3 new images that weren’t seen in 6x07, and many other images were moved around and placed in different ways. Which does make sense, as Clarke’s mindspace was reacting to her states of mind, so we should probably assume it was always changing, with different memories being more or less prominent at any given time.

And finally here are the identified images with side-by-side comparisons. Some were obvious and taken straight from the scenes (I've been told there's a software for that), others are a bit less straightforward (and several of them were also seen as Clarke's drawings in season 5).

I'm going to do them chronologically, not by episode but by when those things happened in Clarke's life.

Starting with the image of Clarke and Wells as children on the Ark (confirmed by Jason Rothenberg on Twitter). The closest thing in the show is the video of them Jaha watched in 1x12.

The next one was tricky as it's not a scene from the show either. It was first misidentified as Clarke watching what ALIE showed her in 3x16, nuclear plants melting on Earth, but that scene is shown in another drawing. It shows a young girl watching the Earth from the Ark. We've decided that this is young Clarke on the Ark. I used the Octavia flashback scene from 1x06 for comparison to show this is a window on the Ark and a view from there (not because it's the same scene - which it can't be,as this wouldn’t be Clarke’s memory). But the girl looks younger and is touching the window as if yearning for Earth.

Flashbacks in 1x03, a year before the Pilot: Abby and Jake during the happy times; Jake when Clarke overheard him tell Abby that Ark was dying and he'd go public with it; Wells when Clarke told him about it.

1x01 - there are more images from the Pilot than from any other episode.

The first scene of the show - the image on the floor in the mindspace version of Clarke's cell in Skybox is the same image she drew on the floor of her actual cell.

This portrait of Abby seems to represent the next scene where Abby told Clarke she was being sent to Earth. When the camera zoomed on it in 6x06, we heard the dialogue from that scene over it ("Clarke, I love you so much!" - "Mom?")

When the camera zoomed on this pic of Wells on the dropship in 6x07, we heard Wells' voice saying "Welcome back" as he did in that scene.

I've been told that the inscription from the Ark we see below is a Chinese proverb that means, more or less, "A friend in need is a friend indeed".

"We're back bitches!" twice - the second is from Clarke's POV. The first one was one of the drawings Josephine touched and we (and Josephine) heard an audio flashback of it and this, uh, memorable line.

Mount Weather - the first time Clarke saw it, after landing.

I spot the same image among Clarke's drawings we saw in her Shallow Valley home in season 5, though it was really tiny in the background.

More scenes from the Pilot:

1x03

It's a pity that the plan to have Eli Goree guest star in 6x07 didn't work out, but at least we had many Wells images and even in the voice memories - I clearly heard Clarke telling him "How can you forgive me?"/"I blamed you because my father's dead and it's my mother's fault."

1x04 Finn with one of the pencils from the shelter he found, trying to impress Clarke.

1x05 Brief time of Clarke being happy and infatuated, right before Raven arrived and her heart got broken for the first time.

There was a bit of disagreement about this Bellamy image (or images). It shows up as a part of the drawing of him torturing Lincoln in the scene from 1x07 on one of the walls, but it also appears on its own on the ceiling:

@SheiGarche believes that, since this appears as a part of the Lincoln torture scene, the Bellamy image must be from that episode. However, while the rest of the scene 100% matches the 1x07 scene, Bellamy's image doesn't match - in posture or expression - anything from that episode. On the other hand, especially when you look at the Bellamy image on its own, as it is on the ceiling, it looks most like a drawing based on the scene from 1x02 - "I heard you have a gun''...

I think that the ceiling drawing represents season 1 Bellamy in general, and was drawn based on the 1x02 scene. OTOH, the art department made the 1x07 image from the 1x07 scene but couldn't get a good Bellamy angle so they edited in that same Bellamy image in. You decide.

https://youtu.be/Cj37TWjBwvE?t=59

A Raven portrait, which is probably not about any particular scene (some images just represent certain characters), but it most closely matches this love-triangle moment from 1x08.

The same portrait was seen as one of Clarke's drawings in season 5.

1x09 - negotiations with Anya and the Grounders on the bridge. Also the first time Clarke has ever seen horses in real life.

1x13

Probably some of the Grounder warriors who got burned in the Ring of Fire, but this scene clearly indicated that Clarke was thinking about closing the door on Finn and Bellamy and that they may have been burned.

2x01

This image gave us so much trouble, until it turned out it was just a random woman from Mount Weather who yelled "CONTAINMENT BREACH!" when Clarke entered the mess hall dragging Maya and saw all the people sitting there.

Another one of character portraits that are probably not important for any particular scene or moment. But going by Miller's hair and facial hair, it can only be season 2 Miller at the time he and Clarke were both in MW (this is from 2x02).

Ending of 2x02:

2x03 - Escape from Mount Weather

2x04 Anya after Clarke beat the crap out of her and managed to win their fight. "You fought well".

Now a few more character portraits. This image of Raven with a brace doesn't 100% fit a scene from the show, but it looks a lot like this promo pic of her - except for her red jacket, which she wore in 2x05 when Clarke first saw her with a leg brace.

Since Jaha has a beard and hair, it can only be from season 2 or 3, which limits it to 2x07 or 3x16, the only times he and Clarke were in the same place. I used 2x07 image of non-chipped Jaha, when he came to Camp him and argued for Arkers leaving, pitting him against Clarke,as this would’ve meant abandoning her friends to their fate in MW.

Portrait of Indra - also probably not about any particular scene, but it looks like their first meeting in 2x07. It was also among Clarke's drawings in season 5.

2x08 This image is one of the few that were not seen on the memory wall in 6x07, but appeared in 6x10. Maybe it's because the ALIE projection said in 6x07 her most painful memories were not on the wall - and the scene of Clarke killing Finn was only seen represented in her dark place by the pole and knife. Maybe she was able to process some of those memories better by 6x10?

2x09 Raven holding Finn’s dead body

This profile of Lexa is probably not from any particular scene, but a general image of the warrior leader/ally Lexa from S2. I used the scene of her making a speech in 2x15, but there were scenes in 2x09 (like when she told Clarke that Love is weakness) that looked similar.

2x10 Well, an attack by giant mutant gorilla would be pretty memorable to anyone.

2x11 I previously thought this image of people in radiation suits (also seen among Clarke's drawings in S5) was from 4x12/13, but looking more closely, now I think these are Mount Weather Ground unit guards - specifically, are Emerson and the other Mountain Man who tried to assassinate Clarke in 2x11. The outfits, helmets, guns are the closest match.

2x12 Clarke's guilt over letting the MW missile drop on the people in Tondc was referenced not just in 6x07 when her projection of Octavia called her out on writing her off there, but also in 6x10:

Josephine: I wasn't always like this.

Clarke: I know the feeling. I mean, look around you.

*Josephine looks at this big image on the wall*

2x15 - breaching the Mount Weather door

I'm about 95% sure that this picture of Lexa is her betrayal in 2x15.

2x16:

"Together" - "Together"

3x01 The most important character in the show! LOL

...seriously though, this little bunny (? who looks more like a squirrel in the drawing?) that Clarke used as a bait to catch a panther, stands for the 3 months Clarke spent in wilderness.

The only image of Niylah on the wall. It's the scene when she lied to protect Clarke when Roan and a bounty hunter came looking for her.

Another character portrait not related to a specific scene, and another one that was seen as one of Clarke's drawings hanging in her Shallow Valley home in S5. Going by the hair and beard, it's seasons 3-4 Kane, so I used the scene of his and Abby's meeting with Clarke in 3x03.

3x04

3x07 - there are 3 images of Lexa from this episode

Lexa smiling during the talk in which she asked Clarke to stay - this is the most prominent of the images of Lexa (one of the images that appear multiple times on the wall + had a flashback). Seems these softer moments are larger in Clarke's mind than warrior/leader Lexa.

The second most prominent image of Lexa (one of the pictures the camera zoomed in on in 6x06, when we also heard the dialogue among the audio memories - "Can we talk about something else?" - "We don't have to talk at all").

and Lexa right after she was shot by Titus.

3x11 What turned out to be the most important of all Clarke's memories, as it contained info on the neural mesh and how Raven was freed from ALIE and that Clarke has to remove from the wall and hide from Josephine.

3x13 Luna, refusing the Flame

3x15 When Clarke didn't break and give ALIE the password and it almost cost her her mother's life. This drawing was previously misidentified as Murphy being hanged in S1 - some thought there were two hanging scenes, but there's just one and it's clearly indoors.

3x16 - there are several scenes from the City of Light. Including the image of the COL itself. You can see even see the tiny figures of Lexa and the people she's fighting.

What ALIE showed Clarke: the Earth, full of nuclear plants melting, telling her about the upcoming Praimfaya.

Clarke pulling the kill switch and destroying COL

One of the first things Clarke saw after returning from the City of Light was Murphy is one of his most heroic moments - pumping Ontari's heart so Clarke could take the Flame.

4x01

This one seems a bit random: it's a moment when Indra came and hugged Kane while Octavia, Clarke, Bellamy and Abby were already there in the Grounder shrine - but I think it's important as the scene when they all discussed what to do in the situation and Clarke told them all about Praimfaya.

Roan, after agreeing to an alliance because of Praimfaya, giving a public speech in Polis to say that 'an attack against the 13th clan is an attack on all of us'.

The drawing of Arkadia is another one that was hanging in Clarke's Shallow Valley home in season 5 - and was also seen in the mindspace version of that home in 6x07. I used a scene from 4x03.

4x04 There are 3 scenes from this episode, and all of them have to do with Jasper. The first two are two of Jasper's pranks: "floating" Jaha, and the prank Jasper pulled on Clarke. But the mood of the latter got ruined because he had already found the List before Clarke came in. (Josephine touched this drawing briefly in 6x07 and we heard the audio flashback: (Monty: "Clarke, wait..." - Clarke: "Really?" )

And what happened right after, in the same scene, when Jasper started telling everyone present about the List. (Jasper's angry comments can also be heard clearly among the mix of voices at the beginning of 6x07 - more about that later)

The portrait of Emori is probably from 4x07, when they had their first major interaction. It was also one of Clarke's drawings that could be glimpsed in the background in S5.

Skip the next one if you don't want to see an image of a person dying a gruesome and painful death in a radiation chamber.

4x08 The unfortunate Grounder thief from the Rock Line clan whose name we never learned, at the moment of his death.

4x10 Octavia in the Conclave - more of a symbolic representation (with the sigils around her). This was a very prominent drawing in Clarke's sketchbook that we saw a couple of times in season 5.

4x11 Another one of the 3 images that weren't seen in 6x07 but were in the second version of the memory wall, in 6x10 - Clarke pointing a gun at Bellamy to stop him from opening the bunker door, before she broke down and cried. The drawing even shows Clarke’s hand with a gun.

4x12 the rocket in Becca's lab

4x13 Clarke being left behind in Praimfaya and watching her friends leave while she was aligning the satellite dish so they could get to the Ring and survive.

This was also another prominent drawing from Clarke's sketchbook we saw in season 5.

There's another scene from 4x13, but that one happens 6 years later, so I'll come back to it later...

5x01 Post-Praimfaya

Polis was Clarke's destination after she left Becca's lab - trying and failing to open the door of the bunker after the temple had collapsed on it. Then realizing she'll be alone for at least 5 years.

Then she went to Arkadia, where she only found "ghosts" - the chest with Maya's music player, Jasper's goggles and his letter to Monty (as we saw in the flashback in Clarke's "dark place", where the chest played an important role).

The bird that kind of tried to eat Clarke (?), showed Clarke where Eden was, and then got thanked, shot and eaten by Clarke.

Shallow Valley

This image is both a memory of 6 year old Madi (not the moment they met, but when Clarke was drawing her while she was fishing), of Clarke drawing her and of the drawing she made and gave Madi to make friends with her.

Madi and Clarke, but some 6 years later. This image was prominent of at the beginning of 6x07 when we saw a flashback of it when Clarke touched it ("I'm sorry they left without you" - "If I was with them, I never would've met you").

4x13 - 2199 days after Praimfaya: Gagarin transport ship, the moment when Clarke saw it clearly and realized it wasn't the ship she was hoping for ("Never mind, I see you"), but one to be afraid of.

5x03 - Makes snse that images of Diyoza, Shaw and McCreary are all from the episode where they captured and tortured Clarke.

5x04

Bellamy reuniting with Clarke.

Coming out of the bunker.

5x06 - Madi watching Octavia practice.

5x09 - There were quite a few changes between the memory wall in 6x07 and 6x10, and the most obvious one was seen right after Clarke woke up in her mindspace - the big image of Bellamy when Octavia arrested him and right before Clarke left him at her mercy in Polis.

5x12 - This is one of the rare drawings that doesn’t fully represent a memory correctly as Clarke saw it. But it makes sense to me that Clarke remembers it this way - seeing Madi in pain when she zapped the shock collar to stop her from leaving and going to war. But in fact, the screenshot shows Madi shocked that Clarke put a shock collar on her. Clarke closed her eyes and had her back turned to Madi, because she couldn’t watch it when she actually zapped the shock collar, and only heard her scream.

This was another drawing Josephine touched and had a flashback of (we heard Madi screaming and Clarke saying “I won’t let you die in this war”), commenting "Child abuse dressed up as protection!"

5x13 - Clarke pulling the lever to close the door of the Gagarin ship, after waiting until the last moment for Bellamy to come in, closing the door after Bellamy, Monty, Emori and Murphy were inside and the missiles were already hitting the Earth.

One last image. It's clearly Madi, and with the horizontal placement of the drawing, I thought it was Clarke putting Madi in cryo. But it turns out the same image - only vertical - was one of her drawings she had in Shallow Valley in season 5... so, I don't know.

There are other images that we couldn't link to anything specific or weren't sure. Mostly locations, objects and nature images. 1) A forest? 2) Waterfall/rocky shore? 3) Rubble?)

If anyone identifies any of them or notice other images or anything else, I’ll be editing and reblogging this post.

BONUS - audio memories

ending scene of 6x06

vimeo

Lines I can hear:

over the image of Abby: Abby and Clarke in 1x01: "Clarke, I love you so much!" - "Mom?"

"I'm scared"? - this line can be heard clearly but I don’t know who it is. It sounds like a child, but I don’t thin Madi or Charlotte ever said it.

Finn in 1x01 when they see the deer: "No animals, eh?"

Madi in 5x11: "I love you, Clarke" (the entire line was “...but we’re on the wrong side of this war”

Clarke to Wells in 1x03, after learning the truth: "How can you forgive me?"

Madi to Clarke in 5x01, during the scene by the fire: "I'm sorry they left without you."

Bellamy trying to convince Clarke not to leave in 2x16 “You don’t have to do this alone”.

Clarke to Madi in 5x12, as she puts a shock collar on her: "I will not let you die in this war!"

over the image of Lexa in bed with Clarke - Lexa and Clarke in 3x07: "Can we talk about something else?” - We don't have to talk at all."

over the image of Bellamy: Bellamy to Lincoln in 1x07: "You're gonna give us the antidote or you're gonna wish you had". Other lines whispered in the background:

Bellamy in 2x16: "(If you want forgiveness) I'll give that to you"

Bellamy during his reunion with Clarke in 5x04: "Clarke, you saved us all."

"This is how we get to peace" (sounds like Bellamy but Clarke was the one who actually said it in 5x08)

Bellamy in 1x07: "Who we are and who we have to be to survive are two different things."

opening scene of 6x07

vimeo

Clarke to Wells in 1x03: “I blamed you because my father’s dead and it’s my mother’s fault” (heard while Clarke is looking at the wall with the image of her parents, among others)

(over the image of Wells) Bellamy: “Who else knows about this?” (in 1x04, when Clarke realized one of the Delinquents had killed Wells)

(also over the image of Wells) Wells: “Welcome back!” (1x01)

(over the image of Roan & Lexa fighting in 3x04: “It’s always something with you!” – Roan to Clarke in 4x01

we also hear Lexa’s and Roan’s grunts during their fight

(over the two images of Madi) Madi (5x11): “I love you, Clarke”

Madi screaming when Clarke zaps the shock collar in 5x12

Two angry lines by Jasper are overlapping as the camera slides from Lexa to Bellamy:

as we see Lexa in focus: “Truth hurts” - Jasper in 3x11, after ALIE!Raven blamed her for the deaths of Jake, Wells, Finn & Lexa

as we see Bellamy in focus: “I found your list. I guess we know who really matters to you” (Jasper in 4x04)

Madi in 5x12: “I’m not a child anymore, Clarke. I’m the Commander, and my people are dying”

(ETA) Jasper yelling “We are Apogee!” and Clarke, Octavia, Monty and Finn yelling happily with him, just before he gets speared in the Pilot

Clarke in 3x11: “I let her get to me.”

the flashback to Madi and Clarke by the fire in 5x01 “I’m sorry they left without you” - “If I was with them, I never would have met you”

more of Jasper’s ranting in 3x11: “I was going to save everyone!” (talking about his plans in 2x16 to kill Cage)

flashback to the Pilot, as we see the drawing on the floor: “Prisoner 319, face the wall!” Some of the lower volume lines in the background, which can only be identified after the background noise was removed:

Bellamy to Clarke in 3x11, after ALIE!Raven had made her lost it: “I’ll let her beat me up for a while.”

ALIE-controlled Raven yelling “Let me go!” in 3x11, when she’s trying to find out the location and help ALIE, and everyone grabs her and subdues her

Octavia in 2x16: “I know where my loyalties lie!”

Bellamy in 5x09, when he brought Madi to see Clarke in her cell: “Clarke, this isn’t goodbye”.

I also hear someone yelling "Octavia!", and mentions of Jasper’s and Jaha’s names.

Josephine and Clarke in 6x07

vimeo

Josephine touching images and we hear flashbacks of scenes from 1x01 (”We’re back, bitches!), 5x12 (Madi screaming when Clarke puts a shock collar and Clarke saying “I won’t let you die in this war”) and 4x04 (”Clarke, wait...” - “Really?” when Clarke got covered in foam as Jasper pranked her). There are many other whispered lines I don't recognize.

In 6x10, however, everything was mixed up - Clarke's and Josephine's memories were all mashed up, because the boundaries between their minds were disappearing - so it’s pretty much impossible to make out anything. But Clarke’s memories are probably the same mix as in 6x07, because I can still hear Wells saying "Welcome back".

vimeo

If anyone notices something I did not, please tell - I will edit this post with any new info!

#the 100 #clarke's mind space #clarke's memories #clarke griffin #the 100 6x07 #nevermind #the 100 season 6 #the 100 6x10 #matryoshka

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destieltropecollection · 6 years ago

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Destiel Trope Collection 2019 Day 12: Enemies To Lovers

Mine | @dean-cas-in-the-impala Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5095 Main Tags and Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Romance, First time, Demon Dean, Angel Cas, Enemies to Lovers Summary: With his grace bound and wings injured, Castiel stumbles into a bar full of demons. Someone saves him from inevitable death, but at what cost?

Coffee Spills and Subway Sandwiches | @asexualcas Rating: General Word Count: 2710 Main Tags and Warnings: No Warnings Apply, College AU Summary: Castiel hates the cold. But not as much as he hates Dean Winchester. When Dean spills scalding coffee on Cas’s new bee shirt, that does nothing to help his dislike for the man. Spending an afternoon hellbent on inconveniencing him? That just might.

Scars | @lemonsorbae Rating: Explicit Word Count: 147565 Main Tags and Warnings: Hate at First Sight, Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Domestic, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, From Sex to Love, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Drinking, Underage Drinking, Drug Use Summary: Dean Winchester doesn’t answer to anybody about anything. Not about his ever changing hair color or tattoos, not his music, and definitely not about all the fucks he definitely doesn’t give. Of course, then he meets pretentious, skinny jean wearing, ugly sweater buying Castiel Edlund who’s hardest lot in life is probably alphabetizing inventory at his uncle’s record store, and suddenly Dean has to answer for everything. Castiel, on the other hand, had long since accepted his fate as an anti-social, directionless, and misunderstood soul, with his cat, Meg, and a bottle of whiskey being the only company he needed. But then fate threw him Dean, the abrasive, infuriating punk who wears guyliner, and walks around like the chip on his shoulder is something to be proud of, and Castiel’s carefully constructed life was turned ass over teakettle. After a heated exchange upon first meeting, a mutual loathing afterwards, and the glaring opposites in their lives, neither of them sees the point of mixing oil and water. Which would be all good and well, except neither of them seems to be able to stay away from the other.

The Difference Between a Pirate and a Gentleman | @pimentogirl Rating: Explicit Word Count: 67739 Main Tags and Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, mentions of slavery, pining, slowburn Summary: The Righteous Man, feared pirate captain of The Black Impala, scourge of the Caribbean, is rapidly climbing the chart of The Royal Navy’s Most Wanted list. Although, it’s hard to get the message out: Woodcut wanted posters mysteriously disappear from the noticeboards as fast as they are posted, to be secreted in diaries and scrapbooks, and tales of his daring do are so popular in the taverns and brothels throughout the region, he’s rapidly becoming a folk hero. Lieutenant Castiel James Milton on the other hand is relatively unknown, but well-regarded by the crew of HMS Swallow. They should be sworn enemies, of course, but then being an anglo-french aristocrat born in Tortuga to parents who should never have been together in the first place, Castiel has never been very good at ‘should’, despite his best efforts to do his ‘duty’ to his domineering grandfather, the Earl of Northumberland. By the time his real enemy catches up with Dean, it’s pretty obvious to everyone that there’s very little difference between a pirate and a gentleman…

don’t go breaking my heart | @breathingdestiel Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2485 Main Tags and Warnings: au, past friends with benefits, misunderstandings Summary: Dean absolutely hates Castiel Novak. He’ll do whatever it takes to stop that asshole from getting the promotion.

The Galaxy’s Most Wanted | @saltnhalo Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10160 Main Tags and Warnings: Space pirates, enemies to lovers, sci-fi Summary: Dean had been the one always up to mischief, running around with his father’s broken laser pistol and constantly getting into places he shouldn’t have been. Sam, in comparison, always seemed to be the smart, studious one – until he reprogrammed the AI in their neighbours’ house to play ‘Happy Birthday’ at the loudest possible volume while keeping all the doors and windows firmly locked. It had taken two experts seven hours to undo the coding that Sam had managed to integrate into the house’s programming. So, yes. They had been exceptional even from the beginning. And when John Winchester crossed one too many people, his sons inherited his beloved ship, and took to the cosmos doing what they knew best: stealing. And they were damn good at it too. Almost unrivalled, across their own galaxy and even those neighbouring. Almost.

Shot Through The Heart | @peanutbutterjelly-pie Rating: Explicit Word Count: 156327 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, UST, Slow Build Summary: As a hunter Dean finds himself more often than not relying on the help of the Men of Letters. Most of the time that’s not much of a problem - if it wasn’t for Castiel, the smartass bookworm with the piercing blue eyes, the messy hair and the rude attitude. Yeah, he’s been an annoying thorn in Dean’s side since day one - and nothing will ever change that! Seriously NOTHING!!

Dean Winchester is Not Afraid of Ghosts | @DesiraeLovesDestiel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 481000 Main Tags and Warnings: photographer Dean/Medium Castiel, paranormal AU, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, smut, fluff, angst, humor Summary: When photographer Dean Winchester is not capturing momentous occasions like weddings and graduations with his Nikon, he is moonlighting as the cameraman for the South Shore Paranormal; a ghost hunting series on YouTube, headed by his brother Sam, and Sam’s best friend Gabriel. Despite his brother’s adamance, Dean Winchester does not believe in ghosts. And no one is going to change his mind. Certainly not a scam artist like Castiel Novak. Castiel is a self-proclaimed medium… and Gabriel’s brother. When a member of the SSP team has to leave the crew, Castiel is the replacement, much to Dean’s dismay. But the more they work together, the more Dean is drawn to Castiel, the man stirring up protective instincts usually only reserved for family. What happens when Dean realizes that Castiel is not the fake he always thought he was, but instead, a generous soul that Dean is rapidly falling in love with?

Just A Gigolo | @sheinthatfandom Rating: No Rating Word Count: 1658 Main Tags and Warnings: escort au, escort service, escort dean, escort cas, mentioned clients, switch Dean, implied sex acts Summary: Dean Winchester is the one of the top escorts of his company and uses his charms and personality to steal clients from his friendly rival. Castiel is the top escort of his company and is known for being high class and able to network with politicians and many powerful men. So stealing Dean’s clients is just a bit of fun for him, especially when he gets to rub it in. But what will happen when Castiel decides to see for himself what the draw is to being with Dean?

Classroom Conflict | @galaxystiel Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5616 Main Tags and Warnings: AU, Human!Castiel, Professor!Castiel, Professor!Dean, university, enemies to lovers, 5+1, Summary: Five times Literature Professor Castiel Novak and Physics Professor Dean Winchester clashed, and one time they didn’t.

You Shook Me | @braezenkitty Rating: Mature Word Count: 12317 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Dean Plays Guitar, Singer Castiel, Singer Dean, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Frottage, Implied/Referenced Homophobia Summary: The Salty Demons are set to compete in a battle of the bands, but when their lead singer drops out at the last minute, they need someone to fill in. Bass guitarist Meg brings in her friend Cas to audition and Sam thinks he’s a good fit, but Dean is worried he’s too punk. With the competition looming though, they don’t have much choice, and Castiel is the best option they have. Dean has to come to terms with the new lead singer and the attraction he feels towards him before he ends up sabotaging the band’s chance at winning the competition.

For This Night and All Nights to Come | @thursdays-fallen-angel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 14554 Main Tags and Warnings: Game of Thrones Fusion Summary: Back in the southern castle Castiel once called home, cold was used to describe a bath that had sat too long and was no longer steaming, or a room with a draft. It was cold if one had to put on a tunic with sleeves to go riding. North of the Wall, cold takes on a whole new meaning. Here, cold means frozen rations and endless snow, frostbitten limbs and stolen breaths. Cold is steel biting at your throat in a wordless threat. Cold is when the dead rise again.

The Age-long Rivalry Between Pilots and Engineers | @cas-lost-grace Rating: Mature Word Count: 7786 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Roommates, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Aliens, Spaceships, Engineer Castiel, Pilot Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Space Battles, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD Summary: Living on a space station isn’t easy. Especially when you share your quarters with someone like Castiel Novak.

Hot Men, Unmasked | @castielrisingabove Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 43195 Main Tags and Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, DC Comics, Nightwing, Red Hood, AU, implied past Meg/Cas Summary: Castiel’s a superhero who just wants to make his big break. When he stumbles upon an attractive anti-hero, he’s left with a choice: turn him in, or work together to solve a crime bigger than both of them.

It’s Affection | @funnywings Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7711 Main Tags and Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Angst with a Happy Ending, AU, Enemies to Lovers Summary: After getting catfished by a federal agent, Dean is angry at the world and the world is angry right back at him. When one of Sam’s friends from Oxford comes to stay at Mary’s house, he’s determined to be as unpleasant as possible to the newcomer. However, being pissed at the world can only get you so far, and Dean finds in Castiel someone he can confide in truths he rarely likes to admit to himself.

Enemies Closer | @almaasi Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5291 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Teacher Castiel, Openly Gay Castiel, Student Counsellor Dean Winchester, Openly Bisexual Dean, Nerd Dean Winchester, Middle School, Vandalism, A.V. Club | Audio-Visual Club, Children, Doctor Who References, First Dates, One Shot Summary: A “You caught me keying the wrong car in our middle-school parking lot, but when you found out my motivation you wanted to help me… except now we’re both complicit in the same crime, and we have the power to end each other’s teaching careers – and as they say, keep your friends close but your enemies closer – sooooo is a nerdy date at your after-school A.V. club close enough for you?” AU

Drop Anchor | @almaasi Rating: Explicit Word Count: 42124 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternate Universe, Historical, Romance, Fluff, No Angst, Pirate Castiel, Sailor Dean, Domestic, Settling Down, Desert Island, Hate to Love, Grumpy Castiel, Dominant Castiel, Gardener Castiel, Bi-Curious Dean, Bottom Dean, Shipwreck, Storms, Sharing a Bed, Masturbation, Touch-Starved, Hammock Sex, Cuddling, Tickling, Rimming, Virgin Dean, Epistolary Summary: AU. A sailor and an enemy pirate are marooned on an island together, and while awaiting rescue they accidentally achieve domestic bliss. Or: Dean Winchester is lieutenant of the Royal Trading Ship Echelon. On a pleasantly sunny but particularly catastrophic day, he is marooned on an island somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with only one man for company. That man is Castiel, captain of the black-sailed Leviathan: a pirate, no less. Given the circumstances under which they are stranded, rescue seems unlikely, and it could be aeons before a ship even comes by. The two of them may as well make the most of their own private island, personal differences be damned.

We’re the New Romantics | @almaasi Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 8138 Main Tags and Warnings: Alternative Universe - High School, Summer Camp, Hate to Love, Bullying, Dean Has a Crush on Castiel, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Friendship, Smart Dean, Fanboy Dean, Smart Castiel, Hipster Castiel, Punk Castiel, Pierced Castiel, Fanboy Castiel, Aromantic Castiel, Smart Charlie, Star Trek References, Holding Hands, Cuddling, First Kiss, Long-Distance Relationship Summary: “He’s so pretentious.” “Who is?” “Castiel.” Dean sneered as he said the name. “Look at him. He only brought one bag, and it’s tiny. And orange.” “Maybe he doesn’t like carrying a lot of stuff,” Charlie said, shouldering her own rainbow-coloured weekender bag, leading Dean out of the crowd and towards the picnic benches. “Gifted-and-Talented Summer Camp is only four days. A change of clothes and a toothbrush, that’s all most people need.” “What about when he sleeps? Doesn’t he at least need a pair of jammies? And that freaking nose ring. Seriously, he looks like a bull. I wonder if anyone’s ever told him.”

The Law of Fire (WIP) | @katekarnage7 Rating: Explicit Word Count: 42624 Main Tags and Warnings: Western AU, Mentions of Child Abuse, Torture, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Main Character Death. Summary: When Castiel was young there was a fire, a fire which caused much pain and grief for many, however, there was one shining light, one good thing that came from it; Castiel’s adopted little sister, Anna, who had been orphaned by the very same mysterious fire. A year went by, it was relatively happy for the Novaks, but just like all good things, it had to end… It ended when Castiel’s mother died, sending his father into a downward spiral, which left Castiel alone to take care of Anna. Eventually, they were found and raised by the Sheriff of a small town in Kansas. Years later Anna and Castiel would learn that the fire that took so much from both of them wasn’t an accident, it was arson, and that the man who had done it has a bounty on his head, a man by the name of Dean Winchester. They start their mission to track down this man who ruined their lives and the lives of many others, however, when they finally catch up to him, they learn that when it comes to Dean Winchester, there may be more than meets the eye.

Close Up and Personal | @sternchencas Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 19358 Main Tags and Warnings: paparazzi!Dean, celebrity!Cas, Cas with cats Summary: To help his brother Sam to pay for law school, Dean Winchester works as a paparazzi. His current target, award-winning author Jimmy Novak, is so camera shy that most people don’t even know what he looks like, unlike Dean, who finds out when he literally runs into the man. When Jimmy confronts him about ruining his life, Dean tries to change his ways, and in a sudden turn of events, he gets to unravel the secret that is Jimmy Novak, or better, Castiel.

one thousand and ninety-four days ‘verse (Series) | @envydean Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8096 Main Tags and Warnings: Prison AU, inmate!dean, Inmate!castiel, Rough Sex, Mild Pain Kink, Come Marking, dubcon but mostly con, bottom!dean, top!cas, sassy!cas Summary: In which Dean and Cas are in prison. “Get in your bed.” “Make me.” He teases. Dean smirks, standing up and facing the man. Before Dean can even blink, the man is out of his bed and shoving Dean up against the wall with a deadly quietness.

#destiel #writersofdestiel #destielfanficnet #deancasfanficnet #supernatural #fanfic #destielfanfic #destiel trope collection #tropes #enemies to lovers #2019

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marginalgloss · 5 years ago

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the red telephone

The thing about Control is that I don’t think I’ve ever played a game where I’ve felt such a vast difference between a game’s artistic and technical quality and its total lack of thematic and narrative depth.

There is a good case for saying that this oughtn’t to be a problem. It’s long been the case that if a video game is entertaining enough, any further ‘depth’ (by the standards established by other media) is unnecessary. This is why we don’t much care if the story isn’t good in Doom. The sense of being there and doing the thing is enough. But Doom isn’t drawing on influences bigger than itself. Clearly it’s been influenced by a variety of things — from Dungeons and Dragons to heavy metal album covers and Evil Dead and everything in between — but Doom is not referential, and it’s not reverential. Doom is complete unto itself. Control is not complete.

Horror films and ghost stories and weird fiction are best when they are about things. Think about The Turn of the Screw and The Thing and Twin Peaks and Candyman, to pick a few examples off the top of my head. They work not just because what we see and hear and read is mysterious. They are compelling because they have intriguing characters and thematic resonance. The Babadook is not just a story about a monster from a book for children. Night of the Living Dead isn’t just about, you know, the living dead. By comparison I find it hard to say that Control is about anything, but it presents itself as adjacent to this kind of work. It is a magnificent exercise in style which trades in empty symbols. It wraps itself in tropes from weird fiction in the hope of absorbing meaning by osmosis.

It feels like a wasted opportunity, because the setup is not without interest. You play as Jesse Faden, a woman supposedly beginning her first day on the job at the Federal Bureau of Control, a mysterious government organisation that deals in high-level paranormal affairs. The FBC is a feast of architectural and environmental detail: a vast Brutalist office complex with an interior that seems to be stranded in time somewhere around the mid-1980s. Everything is concrete and glass and reel-to-reel machines and terminal workstations. It’s frequently stunning.

Unfortunately most of the staff are missing because Jesse’s visit to their headquarters coincides with a massive invasion by the Hiss, a paranormal force which has taken over the building. The Hiss is a sort of ambient infection that turns people into mindless spirit-drones, chanting in an endless Babel. (Conveniently, most of those drones are present as angry men with guns. There are also zombies, and flying zombies, for variety.)

There is, obviously, more to Jesse than meets the eye. She spends a lot of time talking to someone nobody else can see. But there isn’t that much more to her. Like every other character in the game she is a monotone. There is no reason to believe she has any existence outside the plot devised for her here. Similarly, the other characters you meet exist only as the lines they speak to you. It works only when the effect is entirely, deliberately flat: the most compelling person in the game is Ahti, the janitor with a sing-song voice and a near-indecipherable Finnish accent. He is nothing but what he is — he has no past, no future. He has all the answers, if only you knew what questions to ask.

Control is undeniably stylish. The interiors are striking, vast, spacious. Even on the smallest scale the game has a great eye for little comic interactions via systemised physics. You can shoot individual holes in a boardroom table and watch the thing splinter apart into individual fragments. You can shoot a rolodex and watch all the little cards whirl around in a spiral. If a projector is showing a film you can pick the whole thing up and the film will reveal itself as an actual dynamic projection by spiralling and spinning madly across the nearest walls. (Speaking of film, the video sequences with live actors are great fun, and this being a Remedy game, there’s a fantastic show-within-a-show to be found on hidden monitors around the FBC.) And all of this before I mention the sound design — the music, which is full of concrète mechanical shrieks and groans — and the endless sinister chanting which fills the lofty corridors and hallways of this place, The Oldest House.

All of this is very, very good. And most of the time it’s quite fun to play. I mean, you can pick up a photocopier and fling it at enemies. It’s never not fun when almost anything can be used as a projectile. And then you get the ability to fly! At its best the combat in Control feels messy and chaotic — in a good way — but in a way that has little to do with typical video game gunplay. Staying behind cover doesn’t work because the only way to regain health is to pick up little nuggets dropped by fallen enemies, so most of the time you have to use your powers to be incredibly aggressive. The result is that often you feel like the end-of-level boss — a kind of monster — throwing yourself into conflict with a team of moderately stupid players who think they’re supposed to be playing a cover shooter circa 2005.

That you are given a gun at all seems odd. The gun feels like a compromise. The gimmick of a single modular pistol that can shape-change into a handful of other weapons is neat, but those weapons are just uninteresting variations on the same old themes: handgun, shotgun, machine gun, sniper, rocket launcher. The powers are more interesting and powerful. But of course the gun has to be there; can you imagine them having to go out and sell this game without a gun in it? What would Jesse be holding on the front cover?

A gun is an equaliser. It evens the odds between the weak and the strong. But if you’re already strong it doesn’t feel worthwhile. You’re clearly so much more powerful than everyone else you meet in Control that after a while you begin to wonder why the game is also frequently quite hard. The omission of any difficulty settings is notable in a game of this type; it suggests that the developers were committed to their vision in the way that might recall Dark Souls. In fact the hub-like structure of the game is pretty clearly influenced by From Software’s games, and though it’s nowhere near as challenging, it seems to be reaching towards the same kind of thing.

It’s a game which demands you take it seriously as a crafted object. But then it has all these other elements cribbed from elsewhere — the generic level-based enemies with numbers that fly off them when shot, and the light peppering of timed/semi-randomised side activities, both of which made me think of Destiny. So there’s games-as-service stuff wedged in here too, and it doesn’t sit at all comfortably with this supposedly mysterious, compelling world that you’re supposed to want to explore.

This isn’t a horror game. There are one or two enemies with the potential to induce jump scares, but given that you can always respond with overwhelming force, it’s never really unsettling. But it’s clearly been inspired by horror. A source often mentioned as an inspiration for Control is the internet horror stories associated with the SCP Foundation wiki. From there the game borrows the idea that unlikely everyday objects can become sources of immense cosmic power — hence we see items like a rubber duck, a refrigerator, a pink flamingo, a coffee thermos imprisoned behind glass as if they were Hannibal Lecter. A pull-cord light switch becomes an inter-dimensional portal to an otherworldly motel. The great part about this is that these little stories can be told effectively in isolation; it’s always interesting to come across another object in the game and to discover what it does. (The fridge is especially unpleasant.)

But experiencing this kind of thing in the context of an action game is entirely different to stumbling it on it online. SCP Foundation is pretty well established now, but still, there’s a certain thrill in stumbling across something written there in plain text, titled with only a number. When those stories are good, they can be really good. Given the relative lack of context, and the absence of any graphical set-dressing, there’s room for your imagination to do the heavy lifting.

In Control these fine little stories are competing for attention with all the other crazy colourful stuff going on in the background. You read a note and you move on to the next thing. You crash through a pack of enemies and the numbers fly off them. There’s never a sense of the little story fitting into an overall pattern. That lack of a pattern can be forgiven in the context of a wiki. In Control, these stories start to feel irrelevant when you never come across an enemy you can’t shoot in the face. In a different format, or a different type of game, this kind of rootless narrative might be more compelling.

But what is this game about? There’s a sister and brother. A sinister government agency. Memories, nostalgia. A slide projector. It’s all so difficult to summarise. When I think about the game all these words seem to float around in my head, loosely linked, but not in a way that suggests any kind of coherence. The game always seems to be reaching towards some kind of meaning but it only ever feels hollow. It feels flat. Yet all the elements that are good about Control must be made to refer back to these hollow, flat signifiers. Sometimes the flatness works for the game, but mostly it doesn’t.

Today, it’s hard to see that anyone could see the point in establishing a website like SCP Foundation if it didn’t already exist. Viral media is not what it was in the first decade of the 2000s. Written posts that circulate on social media have a shorter half-life than ever. It’s almost impossible for any piece of writing over a few hundreds words to go viral in ways that go beyond labels like ‘shocking’, ‘controversial’, ‘important’, etc. ‘Haunting’ and ‘uncanny’ don’t quite cut it. This kind of thing doesn’t edge into public spaces in the way it used to via email inboxes, or message boards, or blogs.

Perhaps the weird stuff is still out there. Perhaps we only got better at blocking it out. With the arrival of any new viral content, today’s audience is mostly consumed by questions of authenticity, moral quality, and accuracy. If you think this creepy story might be ‘real’, you’re a mug. If you promote it you might be a dangerous kind of idiot. And that’s fair: there are a lot of dangerous idiots out there. Yet there’s something to be said for an attitude of persistent acceptance when it comes to the consumption of weird stuff on the internet. I know I become gluttonous when I come upon such things. I want to say: yes, it’s all true, every word. I’ve always known it’s all true.

#gaming #control

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thatfriendlyecho · 5 years ago

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Sanders Sides AU: Modern Kingdom of Imagineria

Finally I make one of these! My 8 month writer’s block has finally diminished for now and I’ve decided to make an AU I’ve been working on for about a year (among other things).

This is a Modern Fantasy AU, where technology and real life bullshit exists alongside magic. As all good Sanders Sides AUs go, there will be ships. If you want a non-ship esque AU, leave now because there is a whole lotta LAMP.

Anyway, let’s get right into the character descriptions!

Roman Olivers (Dragon-Hybrid, 16)

Roman was born in Manchester, and even after moving to the modern Kingdom of Imagineria at the age of six, he still has a slight English accent.

Roman and his twin brother, Remus, were adopted after their mother was found dead curled around her children in the Endless Forest, just on the outskirts of Manchester. Their adoptive parents, a pair of now ex-dragon hunters, found the twins and took them in as their own.

They moved a few years later, after their mother’s scent vanished and they could leave without the twins remembering her anymore.

Roman’s mother was a fully-grown ruby-scaled dragon (presumably the last of her kind, according to his parents), and he has visible scales of his own on his shoulders, back of his hands, cheeks, neck and forehead.

He is not a full dragon, and he and his brother are half-human. (Or dragonborn, for all of you D&D buffs. Except that he’s mostly human in appearance)

Roman is insecure about his dragon heritage, and as such he grew a slight hatred for dragons. He has often stated that he would slay dragons that ever even set foot near his family.

He doesn’t have wings, but instead has a scaly tail that sprouts from his lower back.

He trips people sometimes, but don’t tell his mother.

All in all, he has serious body dysphoria.

He’s overly protective of his loved ones.

He’s been suspended twice, once because someone made fun of Remus right in front of him, and another time because someone was bullying Virgil.

Roman can create small flames from his mouth, though those have mostly been by accident. This usually occurs when he laughs too hard.

Roman and Virgil didn’t get along for a very, very long time. He eventually started catching feelings for him when he showed up to his front step on his birthday with a woven blanket that he still has not washed to this day.

Roman met Patton and Logan at a library, where Logan snapped at him for flirting with Patton while he was working.

He sings Disney songs on the regular as a coping mechanism.

He’s currently a sophomore in high school that works as his neighbor's babysitter.

Patton Hazir (Harpy, 16)

Patton was born in the Endless Forest, and when he left it for the first time, he appeared in Imagineria.

Patton’s name is actually completely different, but he doesn’t go by it because it’s too complicated to pronounce.

His nickname was Pat because that was the only part of his name that Logan could pronounce. The last name was a random sound he made after stubbing his toe, which kills his friends to this day.

Harpies become independent of their parents after ten years old, and as such don’t have the obligation to return home every night. Since he wanted to go to school, though most harpies don’t want a modern education, he still lives with him.

His parents are very sweet, and naturally they don’t mind.

Patton looks mostly normal, as harpies disguise themselves to present normally to the human eye. The things that seriously stand out about Patton is the fact that he has no ears, he has a few small feathers in his arms that he can’t conceal, and he has talons for feet.

When Patton is in his true form, he has eagle-like feathers sprouting from his arms in varying shades of soft blue. His waist down morphs into the bottom half of some large eagle, tail feathers and all. His torso and head remain as is.

As time progressed, harpies became more docile, and are now not such predatory monsters. They are still extremely territorial and it is unwise to cross a flock, but they are actually very friendly in comparison to a century ago.

Patton is the prime example of the kindest harpies to ever exist in the history of...ever.

He literally smiles at the sun when he wakes up what kind of-

Many people, especially those who are much older, still regard him with a watchful eye.

Patton thinks basically everything is cute. You could show him an imp and he’d pinch its cheek. (He's done this before and he regretted it immediately after)

The biggest challenge for him was Virgil, who we’ll get to in a moment.

They have some really cute moments together.

He can sing, though he’s really shy about it so it rarely ever happens.

His voice sounds enough like music that nobody complains (often).

Patton also has an insane love for sugar cookies, and whenever he’s stressed, he stress-bakes.

Since he doesn’t have a “modern home” in the forest, he usually shows up at Roman's or Virgil's house with a bunch of cookie ingredients.

He has a tendency to steal food, and can’t go into a grocery store without being closely watched.

He received a joke book from Logan on his birthday, and he regrets it. You cannot say anything without him making a pun.

He’s currently a sophomore in high school, and he assists the librarian at the Public Imaginative Library. He doesn’t get paid, and simply loves helping out. That’s how he met Logan.

Logan (Dryad, 14)

Logan was born in the Endless Forest without true parents, being as he is a tree nymph, or a dryad.

Logan was sorely misguided after he was birthed from Mother Earth, and as such he became very curious very, very quickly.

Mere minutes after being born, he wandered to a riverside and was almost killed by a hungry, stranded mermaid.

Luckily he morphed into a tree right at the bank of the river right before she could fatally injure him.

He has a bite mark on his side, which has healed into a scar from the mermaid attack.

Logan was not born naturally smart, and was in fact very naive at birth. He was curious, and never thought of the consequences of his actions until he left the forest and entered Imagineria.

When Logan left the forest, he hid in public parks, where he changed into his tree form for extended amounts of time.

Logan is a dryad, meaning that in Imagineria, if he wished to pursue an education, he could enroll for school on his own. When he learned how to read (he was 3), he became addicted to knowledge, and enrolled himself.

He skipped a grade, which is why he's so young.

The first word that he learned was "falsehood", and he found it very useful after he became friends with Patton, Roman, and Virgil. It is now his favorite word, and he gets very happy when he reads it somewhere.

The library became his home away from home, which is where he met Patton.

Logan is really book smart, NOT street/survival smart. He knows how to transform into a tree when faced with danger, but he doesn't know how to fight per sey.

Logan's appearance is humanoid in nature (no pun intended), and he has the palest skin tone of all the others. There's a slight green tone to his skin, and he sometimes grows small blue flowers that appear in his hair. He also has pointed ears and long claws that he can retract.

He can see well enough, but after meeting Patton, he grew envious of his glasses and made his own out of branches. Don't tell Patton that.

Logan gave himself his name. He doesn't have a last name because he finds it unnecessary.

Logan is a full-blown vegan, and the others need to take this into account whenever they eat together. He doesn't eat often, but he loves fruit and berries.

He's currently a junior in high school.

Virgil Anansi (Arachne, 14)

Virgil was born with the Curse of Arachne, as his family were a mischievous bunch of practicing witches and wizards. This basically means that they angered the ancient spider spirit and she cursed each generation's first born with the Curse.

Virgil was homeschooled until he was of high school age. He's extremely anti-social and insecure because of it.

Much like Roman, Virgil has body dysphoria, though not as badly due to his family.

The Anansi family is a pretty wild and close family, though they experiment with questionable black magic often. They were shunned from society after crossing Arachne.

Had it not been for his curse, Virgil would be classified as an Anansi Witch.

Virgil has three little sisters (triplets), a baby brother, two really weird fathers, a feral uncle who lives in the basement, a grandmother that drinks enough alcohol to poison a large pony, and a familiar for each of them. That makes 9 people and 9 familiars living together.

Virgil's familiar is ironically a spider, a palm-sized tarantula named Kisa.

Virgil had never felt different until he grew up and had to go to school. He was never bullied physically until he showed vulnerability in public.

Virgil's bangs only cover a little bit of his forehead, where three extra pairs of eyes are. They're a pupiless, orchid purple (as Logan dubbed them), and he can't make them vanish like his extra limbs and abdomen. He has fangs, but they're pretty small and elongate when he's hunting. On his back there is a "tattoo" of three purple diamonds.

Often times, when Virgil is being sulky, he makes spider silk blankets and scarves in his room while he listens to classical music.

Depending on what kind of music he listens to effects the sturdiness of his webs. Classical isn't his favorite genre of music, but he can't exactly listen to My Chemical Romance while trying to make an intricate design.

Virgil is an absolute sass master, and normally wins verbal arguments. (You can probably guess who he argues with the most.)

He convinced Patton to sing with him in the school talent show, and they sang Lovely Night from La La Land.

Virgil and Logan are the youngest of their friend group, though often times they feel like they're the ones reeling the oldest ones in.

Virgil's the youngest, and he's treated like the group's baby more often than not.

He and Patton were not super close at first because the harpy was afraid of spiders, and Roman hated his guts for reasons he still won't confess to. He had a hard time making friends with Logan because he was just as awkward if not worse.

He and Patton got really close after an incident caused Patton to break his arm, and Virgil nursed him back to health with potions and a whole lotta cuddling. It was cute.

Virgil met Roman first, which was the worst first impression he had ever given off. Especially since he immediately thereafter had a gay panic.

Virgil is a freshman in highschool, and eventually creates a job in which he creates spider silk blankets and sells them online.

These are the main four's character descriptions, but I can go into depth character appearances, character stories, the modern Kingdom of Imagineria, the Endless Forest, etc. I'm planning on writing the main plotline on AO3, but I haven't decided yet.

I guess I'll have to see. Mkay byee~

#sanders sides au #sanders sides #alternate universe #au #fantasy #modern fantasy au #lamp #modern kingdom of Imagineria #what even #this took so long

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newmoneytrash · 5 years ago

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Death Stranding

I had to write about Death Stranding to get this not very good game out of my head and soul

(this has spoilers I guess but honestly who cares)

I was going to wait to play Death Stranding, if I ever even played it at all. I had barely seen any trailers outside of the first couple. I remember seeing them and thinking “this isn’t going to be the crazy, weird experience everyone thinks it’s going to be”. I didn’t think that I knew better than anyone else, or that the people who were excited were stupid to feel that way. I just felt like I could see what it was and knew that, having played the majority of Kojima’s work, that this probably wasn’t going to be the experience that people thought it was going to be.

And I was comfortable with my disinterest, content to know that this thing existed, that I was fine with it existing away from me. But then a week before release when the review embargo lifted and people started posting their impressions and experiences and reviews my interest was piqued in a way that no trailer or announcement had interested me before. It wasn’t the glowing and fawning reviews that drew me to the game, the people who played and loved the game. It was, weirdly, the negative ones that changed me from not having any interest in playing Death Stranding to going to the store on the Friday morning it was released and standing in the rain waiting too long for an Uber so I could get home as fast as possible to start playing.

The reason the negative reviews drew me to the game so much is not because they were negative, it’s not that I was taking some joy in getting to play something that I thought was going to be bad and now I had an opportunity to be vindicated by seeing for myself that it is bad. It was the things that they were negative about that sounded so interesting. The idea that a group of people would spend so much time and effort and money in creating a large premier video game experience where the main crux seemed to be tedium is an inherently fascinating concept.

The kind of elevator pitch descriptor that interested me the most (that was used by people both derisively and positively) was that it was a post-apocalyptic truck simulator. Travelling a dead or dying world as a UPS driver. Mad Max meets King of Queens (that’s a comparison that I made and I’m too proud of it not to use it). What if a development team who made one of the great action games on the last decade (Metal Gear Solid V might be a terribly lacking narrative experience with some frustrating mission design, but the core gameplay is extremely good) and funnelled all of that energy into something intentionally boring and monotonous?

Not only did that help reset my expectations of what this would be, it made me feel excitement for something that I had previously thought I wouldn’t be able to feel excitement or anticipation for.

I spent 40 hours with it over the course of a week. That might not sound like a lot of time in video game speak, but I don’t remember the last time I spent that much time with a game over such a short period of time. Over the first weekend I had it I played for just over 20 hours. Twenty hours. I don’t know if I’ve ever been that focused on a game in my life. But still when I reflect on my time with it, and especially when I try to recall those initial 20 hours which were far and away the most fun I had with the game, I feel nothing. It’s like static, like someone has gone back and just erased that time from my memory.

That’s maybe not entirely fair. I remember general things, just not specific gameplay moments.

I remember the gameplay loop. It’s less a truck simulator game and more of a hiking game, at least initially. And this was appealing to me. You’re slowly traversing across these barren, empty environments delivering packages to and from outposts and shelters. You’re packing a huge amount of garbage on your back and climbing up mountains and down cliffs and wading through rivers. You’re given ropes and ladders to try and ease your journey, and later you’re able to build greater structures like bridges and towers to help you more easily navigate the environment and scout your path ahead. Eventually you’re given access to motorbikes and trucks that can both help and hinder your deliveries, depending on the paths you take and forge. You even get a chance to help rebuild an actual honest to goodness highway, creating it piece by piece by providing an increasing amount of materials to each section. Maybe the greatest accomplishment I felt playing this game was spending a few hours creating large sections of the highway and then getting to just fly down it on a motorbike. It really did feel like I hate created something big, that I not only radically changed the world by creating this, but that I had bettered it.

And there’s there community aspect of the game. Having others donate materials to your structures as well as seeing structures others have built and abandoned vehicles and packages in your world is all really neat and interesting. Everything positive I have to say about this game is wrapped up in these systems, because there is a lot of the game that feels like you’re on a genuine journey. Taking a package over the peak of a snow capped mountain for the first time can feel like a legitimate achievement, it was rewarding just walking from one place to the next. Seeing a bridge helpfully placed in a frustrating location made me feel real gratitude toward that person, and receiving feedback that other people were using and liking things that I had built made me feel good, as if I was paying forward the help that I had received.

For a long time I didn’t even think there would be combat in the game but it gradually increases as you go along and, while it’s never good, it’s still serviceable and easy enough to never really get in the way. The shooting and melee combat feels off, and I might have had a better time if it wasn’t there at all, but a few boss encounters and combat vignettes were interesting and would occasionally help when the monotony of just delivering packages started to grow.

But after 20 hours of this nothing really stood out to me, there’s no one gameplay moment that will stay with me. I won’t reflect on this game and think “wow, remember that one journey I took by following the coastline?” It’s all just a long, sustained blur.

And it’s not that I don’t remember the story or the characters either. Those are all easy to recall. The story is especially easy to recall because, over 40 hours, it’s just basically telling you one thing over and over and over. It’s hard not to recall it, because there is only one thing to recall.

The thing that I was worried about before the game came out was that the story was just going to be a huge mess. Kojima’s games are always functionally good to great, that’s never really been an issue I’ve had with his work, it’s always been the stories he tries to tell and how he tries to tell them. From the first Metal Gear Solid through to The Phantom Pain there are always misgivings I’ve had with character representation, general themes, and just the delivery of that narrative. I know this isn’t a unique position to have regarding his work (sexism and his consistently awful portrayal of women is a pretty famous issue he has, even among his biggest fans), but beyond that I just never felt that anything he was doing was particularly special. They were different and almost always interesting, but a lot of people would like to tell you that Kojima was doing masterful video game storytelling that no one else was capable, that he was single-handedly raising the medium of video games to something as artistically valid and viable as cinema or art. But, to me, he was never doing that. He was making fun and compelling video games, but they were inconsistent and messy and overly verbose and self-righteous.

So my concern was that, now that he was the head of an independent studio that for all intents and purposes answered to no one, he would let that his storytelling get further away from him. In an attempt to prove his level of creativity, maybe to even prove his worth, he was going to put all of his ideas on the table and the result was going to be an indecipherable mess. When they would release a trailer of a naked Norman Reedus on a beach holding a baby attached to him with an artificial umbilical cord, or Guillermo Del Toro standing in a sewer holding a baby in a jar while Mads Mikkelsen is covered in black tar leading a bunch of skeleton soldiers a lot of people responding with a variant of “wow Kojima is going to make something crazy, this is going to blow my mind”. But all I saw was a giant red flag.

So when I finally experienced the story of Death Stranding I was kind of taken aback. Not by how crazy or nonsensical it is, but by kind of how… boring and one note it is? There isn’t really any room for interpretation in this story. It’s all very, very literal. It tells you how and why things are happening, and if you missed the exposition the first time don’t worry! Here is another twenty minute info dump reiterating the same boring, one note narrative over and over.

The game just tricks you into thinking it’s being more creative than it is because it’s filled with endless jargon. There is timefall, void outs, BTs, BBs, Beaches, repatriates, chiral energy, and extinction entities. Ha and ka. But it’s all in service of creating a world and a narrative that ultimately says nothing, and spends dozens of hours painfully and slowly telling you nothing. It’s borderline torturous.

There is also some high school art level social commentary on social media. Likes are a huge commodity in this world, with people becoming addicted to the feeling you get when they receive one. And instead of having a smart phone or whatever you have Cuff Links, which is a literal pair of handcuffs that, when strapped to your wrist, functions as a way to communicate with people through the Codec or email. Because our phones are a prison, right guys? Pretty deep. In Kojima’s world we truly do live in a society.

But it’s not just the small stuff like that that’s so literal, every part of the game is literal. You’re Sam Porter Bridges, a porter who has a contract with the organisations Bridges, created by someone named Bridget, to create bridges with people across America (both figuratively and literally) to create a network across the continent that will bridge everyone together. Every metaphor and theme in the game is so painfully literal that the game never gives you the opportunity to interpret anything else. The only time there are moments in the game when you don’t know what is happening is when characters start talking about things that you could have no way of knowing about as if you did know about them, but even then these moments of mystery are immediately undone because they always immediately explain the thing that you missed. You will have a cryptic conversation with someone about something you have had no opportunity to deduce or discover on your own, but it never matters because it’s followed up a few minutes later with a flashback or exposition that lays everything out on the table.

Instead of Kojima creating something nonsensical and imaginative and impossible to follow, he managed to make the world’s most shallow metaphor about really nothing in particular. When he said that the game was inspired by Donald Trump and Brexit he meant that it was inspired by the division that these things caused between people and how we need to create Bridges to reconnect with people.

That’s it, that’s the game. That is its message. And it’s not interestingly presented, there’s nothing more to it than that.

One of the podcast conversations I listened to before released (that was largely critical of the game) that drew me toward playing it ended with one of the people saying “It is a game that I think everyone should experience, but not one that I could ever recommend” which is a perfect way of articulating how I feel. It’s a unique experience that does things that a game of its size has never really done before. I don’t think there’s merit in being different for differences’ sake, but this isn’t that. The gameplay is considered and deliberate and purposeful, but that doesn’t mean that it’s fun and it doesn’t negate the parts that are tedious and tiring. Just because you make something boring and annoying on purpose that doesn’t make it good.

If you had asked me six months ago if I think I would like Death Stranding I would have said no. I probably would have qualified it by saying I hope that I was wrong, that I would like it to be good, but that I was probably more likely to hate it.

I didn’t love it, and I don’t like it. I don’t even hate it, but in a weird way I wish that I could. Because then at least I would feel something toward it. Instead Death Stranding leaves me feeling something much, much worse.

It makes me feel nothing.

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dj-yukio · 6 years ago

Text

Regular Day

Part 2 of Faction 63: HUNT

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19102432/chapters/45631711#workskin

By the time the boss gets to the table, it’s evident to all present to the meeting that she did not have a good night. The boss’ yellow eyes seem to lack lustre, her hair is in a frenzy in comparison to her usually neat hairstyle, and she’s still in pyjamas, with one slipper on, the other barefooted. To add to that observation, it seemed as though that Kurotsuno herself hadn’t even noticed that she looks like a mess in the morning, but no one mentions the wardrobe malfunction as she sits down at the head of the table and reaches out for the list that is in the hands of their communications manager, Met.

Of course no one mentions it. This is how their boss looks like almost everyday.

“Mm... let’s see...” Her eyes squint as she reads the contents of the list. Once she seems to gets the general idea, she rattles off the commands. “Met, the phones, take down the orders and compile them. Get their address this time, we don’t want a repeat of last time. Bis, Reina, body management as usual. Expect a large quantity because someone ordered fifty human sets today. I’ll be meeting with RIDE to discuss the transportation. And Hanten, I need you to work overtime again.”

“Again?” The snark in Hanten’s voice isn’t lost on Kurotsuno, who proceeds to glare at her. “What for?”

Of all the people in the room, it was said that only Hanten was capable of rivalling Kurotsuno’s authority. Despite being the right hand of their boss, they might as well have been on the same level of influence in their faction. That was evident in how the boss and right hand stared at each other before Kurotsuno eventually backed down and pushed her fingers against her temples.

“Firstly, I need you to deliver the goods here, all fifty of them. As per normal. Secondly, I need you to accompany me to F35. It’s going to be a long day whether we like it or not.”

A grunt of dissatisfaction, but Kurotsuno would gladly take that over more complaints. Honestly, she doesn’t even blame her for those complaints. The week has been busy, more so on Hanten’s side as she needs to do her job with no witnesses. It’s not easy trying to catch every single one and lug them around, which actually makes her job harder than most would expect. Come to think of it, the last time she managed to do her job quickly was thanks to the fact that she found out a few apartments were hosting sleepovers, but even that resulted in someone falling out of the window and attracting attention, and Hanten barely managed to take all the corpses before more people were to storm the building. In contrast, she had been having an endless number of meetings, with the occasional battle of wills and mindsets, to which her right hand still has to drag herself out to accompany her even if she’s not participating in the dialogue.

A voice pulls her out of her thoughts. “But anyway, why the sudden spike?” All eyes turned to Bis who folded her arms in response. “I mean, fifty in a day is a bit excessive. That’s a load of sets to deal with. Who ordered them?”

Met shuffled the papers in her hands before tapping at something on the folder. “Another world, actually! Ooh, I haven’t gotten someone from there onto my show before, but I heard that they were real upset when the peace treaty got signed.”

“I thought they banned-bannedthis because they wanted peace?” Bis looks understandably confused, after all, it’s not in the hands of the youth to understand what goes on in the minds of odd adults. “What’s with all the rule breaking? It’s not just two worlds with the issue, it’s almost all of them.”

Silence follows. Definitely, at the back of most of their minds, they know the answer. The whole thing was a facade, and the people in power don’t exactly want to give up on having those customs, and those not in positions refuse to let go of historical baggages.

It’s Reina that lifts the atmosphere back up. “Regardless, if they never had this issue, we wouldn’t be here profiting from it.” Then a thought strikes her, and a frown forms. “Actually, why is human meat banned? Our faction... we deal with angels, demons and other species, but mainly humans. Aren’t only the gods and devils in charge of all this?”

“Oh! The leader in Mogeko Castle changed, and they human, so... yeah.” Met gives a weak shrug in response before looking at the two demons. “Think it was that girl we saw the other time, Yonaka, was it-“

Kurotsuno slams the documents down, the otehr hand rubbing her eyes.

“Enough. We’ve already discussed the basics of our duties, so let’s get on with it. Maybe we can rest early. Maybe. End of meeting.”

“Shouldn’t it be ‘meeting adjo-‘“

“Meeting end. Now move, before it’s not just the meetings that end.”

Met nods quickly before scampering off, and the two yokai follow behind. The grumpy demon yawns before getting up, picking up her jacket which she had set on the chair prior to the meeting before heading to the door when a hand grabs onto her arm.

“Hanten, while you’re out, I need a coffee, preferably before the meeting.”

She blinks, before a small grin appears on her face. “A coffee? Sure you don’t want tea or chocolate or something else?”

Kurotsuno pinches her nose before glaring at her best friend for knowing her too damn well. “Whatever. The usual.”

She can almost taste the air of cockiness when Hanten shrugs. “Ah, the usual. Got it. Would you like me to repeat the order to make sure I get it right?”

“...no.”

——————————

Information is vital, especially regarding news of how hard law enforcement intends to crackdown on the underworld. It’s almost like a currency, and no one knows that better than Met.

That’s why she enjoys being a DJ. It’s like killing two birds with one stone, being able to occasionally get outsider information from her listeners as well as host her own show to keep a facade up. It wouldn’t do for people to one day question how her friends and her sustain themselves. Questioning would lead to rumours, rumours would lead to investigations, investigations would eventually uncover lie after lie that they could possibly throw out, and that wouldn’t do for them.

But regardless, she’s not heading to her studio to host her show. Instead, she heads to a bar, a small business that is run by another faction’s member, specifically faction 44. INFO, as inconspicuous as its name is, truly deserves that number for its symbolism of ‘double death’. Pretty accurate since the dirt they had could ruin some people’s lives, she thinks.

Luckily, they don’t have much blackmail material against them, if they have at all, but that’s not important anyway. The bar’s relatively empty, and she waves to the bartender who has a piece of paper stuck to his face. She has always been curious why he would do that, but then again, the topic was somehow always avoided in their casual conversations.

“Hey Maekami!” Within seconds, she’s beside him, poking his tail. It’s fascinating, she thinks, what with how they move and function depending on the differences in their shapes. Demons are fascinating in that aspect. “Got anything new for me?”

He gently pushes her away before moving closer to the storage room. “Please refrain from touching my tail, miss Met. And yes, there are a few letters and magazines. Would you like a drink?”

“Yep. Jus’ spill all the tea!”

Even though his face is hidden behind a piece of paper, from how he stands there and seemingly stares at her is telling enough to know that he’s confused. Then he regains his composure before shaking his head. “It would be a waste of a drink to do that. Would you rather spill water instead?”

Evidently her meaning flew over his head, but before she could correct him, a large stack of magazines appeared before her. Or at least, that was what it looked like from afar. To most, it would have looked like the bartender just gave a weeks worth of porno to a teenage girl that had been left behind by the more perverted customers, but to those in the know, most of the content in the magazines had been edited to contain other non-pornography related passages, the only thing remaining being the photos.

Not that Met minded. It was better to have pictures of ladies in compromising positions with the text beside them than to have to read all the information on plain paper in a folder. Besides, the more decent demons wouldn’t even look her way if they thought it was porn.

Her phone started buzzing halfway through that thought, and she fished it out of her pocket to look as a barrage of notifications started coming in from unknown numbers.

Another day of work again.

——————————

Bis sighed for almost the hundredth time as she plunged her dagger into the cold skin protecting the precious organs they need to harvest. It doesn’t help that the basement is freezing, meant to keep the goods as fresh as they can be for transportation, but then again the young yokai is used to death, and she’s experienced with dealing with the unnatural chills that occur while she prepares them.

It’s better to think of the humans that she cuts up as a lower species, not even worth her time to give them a small funeral. Even if she’d wanted to, she doesn’t think that it’d be good for her name to dig a hole and pour symbolic sticks and stones into it, not with a ghost who continuously mistakes her as a dog. Not that it really matters at the end of the day, although Bis would fight to the end of her life to argue about the distinction.

The delicate organs sit on the table now, its host now almost completely hollowed out. Almost like clockwork, she picks each one up and places them into separate containers, transparent for all to see aside from the opaque labels. Intestines, kidneys and stomach are some of the few she just throws in without questioning. The blackened heart and destroyed lungs make her pause to think for a bit before she tosses them into their jars as well. It’s none of her business to deal with separating them. If she did that for all of their victims, it would take much longer to fill up the orders. That’s why they have a morgue filled with corpses that are slowly mummifying from the cold, and that’s why she deals with them as fast as she can in order of those killed less recently than others first.

Bis can almost see her breath as she breaths out, but she holds on for a while more as she starts to cut off the goods’ limbs. They’re brittle, but it makes them even easier to break off, and before she knows it, she’s managed to toss them into a bag before she finally runs up the stairs to the warm house.

It’s a welcome feeling of warmth, and Reina barely glances at her before holding out some drink towards her, which she accepts gratefully before sipping it.

——————————

It was by luck that there were people trekking a mountainous path.

It was with greater luck that she found a tour bus travelling up the same mountain.

Hanten grinned as she watched the bus fall off the cliff, crashing into the forest below. Not that she had much of a hand in it, apart from her breaking off the mountain and dropping it on them. There would be survivors, she guessed, but she figured she would give them a head start to run whilst she cleared up the bloody mess she had accidentally made. It really wasn’t her intention, but the way they had screamed once she twisted their companions head off really excited her that she couldn’t help but up the stakes and break off their legs from their bodies one by one.

Once that was taken care of, she flew down, landing behind a tree before emerging to the group of humans who had pulled themselves out of the crash site as she had expected. Her horns and tail were already out of sight, hidden away once she had suppressed her power, but once they started to notice her, her eyes darted around and she started counting.

“Hey! Girl! Oh god, you’re covered with blood! Are you alright?”

There had been five on the mountain, and she had gotten thirty during the night and the early morning. Now there was about ten to twelve, and there was bound to be more in the bus. All in all, this would have to be the last act the demon needed to put on for the day. She pretended to be light headed, and watched as the crowd made their way towards her and surrounded her, trying to help the ‘badly injured’ girl.

“It’s okay, we’ve got a first- first aid kit, and there’s an ambulance coming, so- so just hold on, kid.

Of course, they’d thought she was one of them. Once they couldn’t see any differences, there was no reason to suspect the blood covered girl was bloody for any other reason other than from the accident. What she was doing now was getting as many people as she could around her so that she didn’t have to waste too much energy. And at last, she heard a signal.

“Eh? There’s... there’s no injury? But... how?”

Everybody around them who heard went silent and moved closer to the paramedic and her, wondering what was going on. All the sitting ducks were coming closer to observe this strange miracle. Humans. Always so trusting and helpful in times of crises.

Hanten grinned.

With one swing of her arm, the sword she had summoned sliced through the crowd. They didn’t even get to scream before being swallowed by her shadow, leaving a large pool of blood behind. She dipped her finger into it before swiping it on her clothes. Now wasn’t a good time to get a snack, not when she had more important matters to attend to. No matter how tired she was. She had been at this for the whole day, with only sheer luck getting her through the quota required.

Looking back at the mess, she figured that it was a good thing that this place was quite secluded. It wouldn’t do for her to be discovered by unwanted parties, especially if she didn’t want to get nagged by Kurotsuno.

Speaking of Kurotsuno...

She looked up, trying to figure out how much time she had left before the meeting. The sun was already at the horizon, colouring the skies a bright orange, and a low grumble escaped her.

She really ought to have set an alarm.

The meeting was in the evening. In less than thirty minutes. If she was fast, she could make it back to the mansion in at best fifteen minutes. But since she still had to get the damned coffee, which no doubt had a long line waiting, probably twenty minutes if she rushed.

Hanten huffed. Forget the nagging, she was going to get scolded.

——————————

It was sort of boring having to repeatedly go through folder after folder.

Sort the folders. Read the folders’ content. Deal with said content. Attend to issues in the faction. Account for everything.

Kurotsuno huffed as she tried to think of how to formally address each of the more important letters. As much as it sounded like an easy job, it was anything but. Maintaining formalities and a low profile was much more difficult than even she would have expected. If they, they being her mostly, messed up at one part, it was difficult to guarantee that some of those opposing them wouldn’t take the opportunity to destroy them.

Regardless, the more she focused on her work, the faster time seemed to pass, which was a pleasant surprise when she looked up and noticed that it was already afternoon. Close to 6, even. Almost time for the meeting.

And she waited.

Slowly, the clock’s short hand pointed at 6 fully.

Kurotsuno clenched her fist. Where was that idiot? This wasn’t the first time that she was late. Did she not care about punctuality?

The clock ticked on, and she sighed before she pulled out her phone. No point in stressing over such a trivial thing. Sure, Hanten was always late for these events. Slacking off no doubt, but she would always make it back in the nick of time. That was at least something, if not the only thing, that was almost guaranteed.

But she was so giving her a piece of mind once they came back from this meeting—

The door creaked as it swung open.

“Coffee’s here.”

Kurotsuno looked up from her phone as her second in command brushed past her to place the iced drink on the table, looking worse for wear. Her clothes were entirely stained with blood, not to mention how disheveled she looked after having been out for most of the day.

And she came back just ten minutes before the arranged meeting time.

“You’re late. Very. Late.”

“Are you going to say something else?”

“...just hurry up and change. I’ll settle this issue with you later.”

Plus she stank of sweat. Disgusting. If she was anyone other than her right hand, she would have stabbed them for just daring to enter her study in such a state. Instead, Kurotsuno sighed as she reached out into one of her drawers to pull out a towel along with a set of spare clothing and threw it, hitting Hanten square in the face as she noticed the projectile a little too late. She had planned for such an issue a while ago, storing some clothing to save time since there was nothing she could do that would force the demon before her to clean up faster anyway, so she might as well just calm down and wait——

The cup of iced drink looked drastically different from what she had been expecting. “You didn’t get my usual order? What’s this?”

She received a glare which disappeared once Hanten pulled off her shirt, to which Kurotsuno responded by turning away. “I was in a rush. It’s just a regular mocha. Extra sweet.”

That made sense, and she poked the second bag that had been next to her drink. It looked like cans, four in total, though she couldn’t quite make out what sort of contents they held. “And what’s that?”

“What’s what?”

“The bag next to the the coffee. What are those cans?”

A pause. “Energy drinks.”

“Four cans?”

“Watch me.”

“Are you that tire—“

The cans clinked against each other before she heard a hiss, and Kurotsuno took that as the signal that she could look back. As she had expected, Hanten was now chugging one of said energy drinks, looking much more presentable in a suit compared to the sweat drenched shirt she had been wearing previously that was now on the floor.

Kurotsuno sighed before reaching out to pull Hanten along.

“Let’s go, you oaf.”

“Mmm-Ack!”

Now that they were ready, she stepped out of the study, drink in one hand and Hanten’s tie in the other, leading her right hand out of the room to go for the meeting thankfully not too far away. They would be late, but at least it wouldn’t be too late as she had been expecting.

Then her phone buzzed.

A message from Reina who was accounting for their stock.

“Also, you’re four short. Work on it later.”

A loud indignant cry followed.

Such was a day of work in their faction.

#obsolete dream #kurotsuno #hanten (mogeko)#met (mogeko)#bis (obsolete dream)#reina (obsolete dream)#Mafia AU #mogeko

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aros001 · 3 years ago

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Read through light novel vol. 4. Random thoughts.

I don't think I've ever seen an adaptation/source material relationship quite like that between Goblin Slayer's anime and light novels.

Episodes 1-4: most of vol. 1. Episode 5: mix of vol. 1 and beginning of vol. 4. Episodes 6-9: Entirety of vol. 2. Episodes 10-12: Rest of vol. 1. It certainly wasn't a bad season but it's funny to see the books adapted in such an almost random order. Closest I've ever had to this was Rising of the Shield Hero, which adapted vols. 1-5, the beginning of 6, and then at the end a little bit from vol. 10.

“There are people who use a torch instead of a lantern, because it doubles as a weapon.”

Guild Girl mentioned with a smile that rats and insects both despised fire.

“What kind of adventurer would do something like that?”

Goblin Slayer: "You've got something on your face."

Goblin: "GORB?"

[Stabs goblin in face with burning torch]

Goblin Slayer: "It was pain!"

That second chapter really suckered me in at first into thinking it was a flashback, but I suppose that was the idea. It's like when Batman saves a family from an alley mugging. It's a classic way of showing the hero keeping what happened to them from happening to anyone else. Goblin Slayer is making a difference, even if he doesn't always feel like he is because of how endless the world's number of goblins seems to be.

As much as Spearman could stand to take the hint that Guild Girl is not into him, I do really like that Spearman isn't at all a bad dude. Again, he has a spear but he's not a Motoyasu. He's not hitting on every attractive woman he meets or treating his party as an excuse to build a harem for himself. Witch feels like his trusted ally and equal before anything else, not just someone he's trying to impress because she's got big bizongas. Admittedly I'm not entirely sure what his relationship with her is. The implication is that she maybe likes him romantically (seeing Guild Girl as a romantic rival and all) and they talk about going on "dates" but it's hard to tell how serious either is being about that.

The chapter with the goblin sentry guard was kind of interesting for me, because part of the way into reading it I realized I had read it before...the manga version. I'm stumbled upon the chapter by accident through a Pintrest link of one of the pages where Goblin Slayer is carrying poor spear girl (Spearwoman?) out of the cave. At the time I'd thought it was a fan-comic, not because it was badly drawn but because the goblins had a different design. Between that and this chapter, I think the manga's was harder to get through, but for a different reason than the anime could be. The anime had audio, so the screams from Fighter and Priestess when the champion bit her arm were what left me really shaken up (Fighter especially because, while I wasn't seeing it, I knew what was happening). With the manga, how much of Spearwoman's body was shown off, the positions she was in, and the angles of the camera made it feel uncomfortably like a porn comic. I don't have a problem with fanservice in and of itself. This volume and previous ones have plenty of fanservicey artwork. But there's a time and a place for it. Cow Girl and Priestess trying on battle bikinis and High Elf Archer waking up in the nude? It's pervy but still harmless. A woman being violently raped should not be used to titillate the audience and I'm so glad the light novels have had the good taste (so far) to not do anything like that with its illustrations. Even High Elf Archer, when her clothes were torn away by the goblins in Water Town, she escapes non-violated and we get the art of her helping Goblin Slayer walk, but she's not drawn at all in a sexual way despite being half-naked.

But back to the actual volume, I really liked showing things from the goblin guard's perspective. The goblin happy with the spear he stole...at first. But then wondering if the belt would have been better and then hating the goblin who got the belt instead of his "stupid" spear, with said goblin likely thinking the same about him, just the other way around. Again, they're not mindless monsters. They're incredibly selfish and self-centered, each one believing he is the best and thus that he is the one entitled to everything. It also serves as another reminder that goblins are no victim of racial circumstances. Yes, there are no females of their race and thus they have to force themselves on others in order to procreate...but they seem like they would probably be doing that regardless. When their victim fights back, they hurt her more as punishment and to break her. And when their victim doesn't fight back, allowing themselves to be violated so that hopefully it won't hurt anymore (yeah, there's a lot in this chapter that's hard to get through but that especially with how unfortunately real that mentality feels), the goblins hurt them even more, taking it as an excuse to go as far as they can with them.

These aren't mindless monsters that have to rape to survive. They like the pain and suffering they cause others.

Which is where he comes in; to stab them, impale them, light them on fire, and kick them in the d*ck before stabbing them again.

Hm? Cow Girl thought suspiciously, but an explanation was soon forthcoming.

“Today is...a bit of a rough day for it...”

“Sure.” Cow Girl gave a strained smile and nodded. It was something every woman had to deal with.

You know...I've read through three other fantasy LN series in full thus far. Overlord, Konosuba, and Rising of the Shield. And I'm pretty sure out of all of them (and even out of the majority of other series I've read/watched), Goblin Slayer is the only one I've seen that even acknowledges girls having their periods. I get that it's like watching a character go to the bathroom; it's not usually relevant to the story and you can just assume it's happening off-screen. But it still just sat with me for a moment and I went "...Huh. Yeah, that would be a problem for them, wouldn't it?"

Also, these two are just adorable together. I like that they're friends. They don't pass the Bechdel test (though High Elf Archer and Guild Girl surprisingly do) but their bonding was still great to read.

“I have no interest in magical swords, but I do have a ring.”

“Oh yeah?”

“It allows underwater breathing,” Goblin Slayer said briefly. “Even if the goblins stole it, it would do no harm.”

“What would they even want it for? Wait a second—you just assume it’ll get stolen?”

Spearman was pressing on his temples, but the steel helmet nodded and said, “Of course. It wouldn’t fit on a goblin finger.”

After Cow Girl and Priestess trying on the battle bikinis I was already laughing at the idea of a Goblin Slayer beach episode. Now I really want to see that. Everyone's on the beach showing off their summer bodies and swimwear while he's still in his full armor. They're all playing volleyball and building sandcastles and he's slowly turning the ocean red as he's just murdering goblin sharks all day.

All seriousness through, I do love this consistency with Goblin Slayer's character and methods. We've seen tons of goblins throughout this story and the only ones that maybe would have benefited from underwater breathing would have been the ones on the boats in the sewers of Water Town. Otherwise, yeah, it'd be useless to a basic nest and they'd have almost no way of finding out what it can even do, so they wouldn't even move elsewhere to take advantage of such magic. Plus he has apparently destroyed nests by flooding them before, so it makes sense he'd want to prepare himself for just in case he ever got caught up in the water.

Also, Goblin Slayer, Heavy Warrior, and Spearman were a really fun team to see work together. I love the sense of respect the three share and that Goblin Slayer never has any problem acknowledging how much better they are than him when it comes to things like leadership, charisma, enthusiasm, or just certain general abilities. If there is a little bit of competitiveness it's still very friendly and never becomes a pissing contest between the three. Heavy Warrior and Spearman don't exist just to make Goblin Slayer look good by comparison. In fact, they're very good at what they do. It's just what they do isn't murdering the ever-loving sh*t out of goblins, thus why they're not the ones we're following the story through.

“I picked up the spear,” he said. “The shaft is broken, but the point remains.”

"You are hurt and broken right now. But you can recover. You can be okay again."

This is probably just me looking way too deep into things but I like to believe Goblin Slayer said those words because of his party's, and especially Priestess', influence on him. I'm sure he's saved many women from goblins in the past but before Priestess I think he just saved their lives, sent them off to the temple, and then just kept moving on without looking back, thinking about nothing other than killing more goblins. After all his and Priestess' time together, and her making it clear he played no small part in helping her keep moving after the tragedy of her first party, maybe he's now wondering if there's more he can do to help these women recover, even if it's just a few kind words to help them hold onto their sanity after what they've been through. Spearwoman was so attached to that spear that hearing that it's still intact enough to be fixed maybe helped her believe she could be too.

“Isn’t it?” She stuck out her delightfully average chest, as proud as if she had grown it herself. “And you know what? The person who brought it was someone you saved recently.”

“...Was it, now?”

“Uh-huh!” Guild Girl let her eyes drift to the corn with an expression that bespoke relief. It was rare that adventurers or mercenaries found themselves with a second chance when they had failed once. “It’s great, huh?”

Does that imply it was Spearwoman? I'm hoping so. It'd be nice if someone who was used by the goblins (hopefully NEVER one of the girls in the main cast) did still manage to go back to being an adventurer again and wasn't just left permanently defeated. Honestly, it'd be cool if either her or Fighter or someone like I'm describing came back and adventured with GS's crew for a bit. Goblin Slayer witnessed what they do and it almost happened to Priestess and High Elf Archer but we don't have anyone yet who was raped by the goblins and yet is still fighting. Sword Maiden is about the closest but her very understandable trauma and duties as the Sword Maiden keep her away.

God count: Earth Mother, Supreme God, Deity of the Basin, Krome

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/GoblinSlayer/comments/fu0b1w/read_through_light_novel_vol_4_random_thoughts/

#goblin slayer #random thoughts #reddit repost

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williskhan--com · 3 years ago

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sweetinfires-blog · 7 years ago

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Demons [I]

Pairing: BTS x You (3 POV)

Genre: Demons!AU, Angst, Implied Smut (throughout series)

Word Count: 3,714

Summary: What happens when three Angels voluntarily taint their feathers to bask in sins? They may have just found themselves embodying the epitome of exactly that: The 7 Deadly Sins. Anger colliding with Pride, Lust enchanting Sloth, Gluttony overtaken with Greed. And Envy controlling all. Would these sins be able to carry out their tasks, or will they fall endlessly into the sweetness of evil?

Link: [1][2]

Rated: M (language)

Excerpt: Hearing the screams was amazing. F**k. I know we should be panicking like the other, but I looked at the other two, they had wicked smiles on their faces. Soojung’s little rescue attempt was fake. Just like the rest of the act.

"Well if it isn't Satan’s little bitches?" The most annoying voice to exist called out. I slowly turned around, along with Minji and Soojung. I was met face to face with Jeon Jungkook. He was walking up to us accompanied by Jung Hoseok and Kim Taehyung. His arrogant little smirk fueled my annoyance with every step he took. He stopped directly in front of me, hands in his pocket, looking as arrogant as always. "Is someone still upset over the fact that the big guy had to bring in three sweet girls to do the job you big 'strong' boys couldn't?" Soojung pouted, teasing him. She knew how to push them to their limit. "Ya! You li-" Jungkook started, but was cut short by a deep, velvety voice coming from the darkness at the end of the hall. "Please, shut the fuck up." Suddenly, Namjoon, our leader, emerged from the dark shadows. "You guys fight like children. Stop. We will being working together soon, and for it to work out everyone needs to get along," he reported, scowling at us as well as inspecting us head to toe. Kim Namjoon. The leader. Envy. One of the Seven Deadly Sins. We complete the rest. My name is Sana, and I am Anger. Minji is Sloth, and Soojung is Gluttony. We are the only three girls that are allowed carry the burden .. I mean honor .. of being Deadly Sins. We were the angels that fell from heaven. Wings that were once pure white tainted black and bloodstained. The other three sins were taken up by the other three; Jungkook as Pride, Taehyung as Lust, and Hoseok as Greed. All three were once ordinary mortals; all three did something that condemned them to Damnation. The reasonings for their sins are the reason they are here in Hell. No one knows their full stories, only that they all came at different periods of time. Namjoon had been here the longest. He is practically Satan’s son. He has never confirmed nor denied it. With his good looks, seductive eyes, and smooth voice, you wouldn't be able to say otherwise. Especially that devilish smirk accompanied by such illegal dimples. That evil smirk, that draws you to him. Namjoon stared at us one last time before nodding to signal our dismissal. Minji started to make her way to her room, giving us that 'hurry up and follow me nooooow' look. We followed behind her, not knowing what her intentions were. "Ahh, and like dogs, they travel in a pack," Jungkook laughed mockingly. Furiously, I turned back around and walked up to him, stopping with our faces inches apart. "Listen here, take all your shit and shove it back up your ass. I am so tired of you, and I can't wait until you get kicked out." I spat, staring deeply into his chocolate eyes. He yawned, looking down at me unfazed. "Oh Sana~ Unlike you,” Jungkook started as he brought out one hand from his pocket to land on my head. “I will never get kicked out of my place." He smirked while ruffling my hair. He was referring to heaven wasn't he. Before I could say anything else, Soojung took over. "Heaven couldn't handle us. God was done with us. Oh well. Who cares. Goodbye." She grabbed my arm, dragging me away. Jungkook leaned over, whispering something to Taehyung, while still keeping his eyes on me. I turned around, following Soojung and kept thinking of a way to get back at his conceited ass. Soojung POV Gluttony Fucking hell. She's always getting into trouble because of that boy. Jungkook loves to make her mad; it's his go-to thing. Like it’s planned. Just like Hoseok is always doing stupid shit to me. He likes to toss things at me or my general direction while making annoying little side comments, with his smug smile, bothering the hell out of me. I hate him. He's so irritating, but also undeniably attractive. I don't think I've ever seen him wear anything but a slim fit black suit. His gigantic black wings look great. I mean, all our wings look great, but his are the only ones that are pure black. With the red lights of hell illuminating off his pitch black feathers, they just stand out so much. “Let's get back to reality shall we?” Minji stated after observing me lost in thought.

Sana and I had made it back to Minji’s room, sitting down in different parts of her room. Minji was already in the center of her bed, laying out papers. Sana sat on the floor, criss crossing her legs, looking up at us. I sat on a chair that was near the end of the bed, looking over all the papers. "Okay, so we have to make a visit to earth soon, because there's a big festival going on. I feel like we could get away with a lot during it." Minji explained sending a wink indicating to mischief we would create. "Ohhh! Festival! " Sana exclaimed. She was the youngest, she loved shit like this. I'm only a year older than her, but she still acts like a child in comparison. Minji was the oldest out of the girls, always coming up with the plans. Her plans have never failed us once. I love how she thinks. "Okay! So.. we go up and go separate ways. Sana you go to where all the rides are at, Soojung -" "I'm going to the food stands, and you can't stop me." I interjected. I could feel my eyes widening from the thought of all the food and snacks in the human realm. Minji smiled, nodding in agreement. "Of course. I'm going to all the game stalls to check out everything. We meet back up maybe 4 hours after we arrive. How does that sound?" I nodded, and Sana gave a thumbs up. I got up and made my way to Sana helping her up the floor. "We’ll leave 3 days later at like 6pm sharp. That's when the sun starts to go down," Minji said. "Alright, bet." I responded. "Uh guys? What about the whole wings and horns thing?" Sana tilted her head, giving us a concerned look. Minji POV Sloth Damn, she's right. The wings can be easily hidden under our clothes or absorbed within our backs. The horns on the other hand... "I'll do some research; See if there are any potions or something to give us some humane features," I told her. "Sloth!? Doing research!? " Soojung gasped. "Bitch, I come up with all the plans. Shut up," I glared. "Yes ma'am," she sighed. She walked out of the room, Sana following right after. Before exiting the room, Sana turned around and waved with her big smile. I smiled back at her, waiting for her to fully exit. I got off the bed, made my way out the room and towards the library of our residence. It's like an endless mansion but only contains one floor. A shit ton of rooms, bathrooms, offices and random little places that are hard to find sometimes.

I reached the big doors of the library and pulled them open, hearing them close shut after I had entered. I went to the alchemy section of the library, searching for the right book containing certain potions or spells to transform us. After and hour of searching, I let out a groan of frustration from lack of research. "What's wrong with you?" I jumped, startled by the sudden voice. I turned around to find Taehyung right in front of me invading my personal space. "Just looking for something," I muttered as I tried to get away past him. "Let me help you." He followed closely behind me, and I could feel his eyes linger over me.

"I know every corner of this place." "No thanks," I rejected as I walked over to the sorcery part of the library containing books written by witches, wizards, and warlocks. I found a book that looked reliable, grabbed it and walked away. "Minji..." Tae softly whispered behind me as he neared my right ear. I know this is a game. All three of those boys are always play games with us. I'm so tired of them half the time, but working and cooperating with them is something I'm required to do. I shrugged off his attempt and walked out of the library, making my way back to my room to start researching through the book. "Hair..healing..human potion!" I muttered to myself as I flipped through the pages. YES! I found it! I think?

It requires so many thing, and now I'm really too lazy to even get up and start. Ugh. I'll send Soojung to go get everything later. I was feeling pretty tired, and even though you could never tell when it was day or night down here your body could feel it. I got ready for bed putting everything away, and then went under my sheets passing out almost immediately. Sana POV Anger It was the day of the festival! I've never been so excited for something. I know Minji and Soojung had been up to something these past two days, but they didn't ask for help so I didn't interfere with anything. Instead, I wandered around hell sometimes hanging out with Joon and helping him with his stuff.

Namjoon was a mysterious person. He never really talked to us much, but when you were alone with him he would tell you a lot more than you'd expect. I would sometime see Jungkook in the corner of my eyes, watching us, as he hung out with his guys. I never understood Jungkook. He's either the biggest asshole ever, or secretly sweet when we are alone. I didn't like it. I was currently in my room, look by for an outfit for tonight. I was still wearing my normal clothes with slits in the back for the huge ass wings. I started to pull stuff out, when suddenly Minji called out my name. I skipped into her room, smiling at her. "Yes?" I asked. "Come here! I have something for us! We're just waiting for Soojung now," she replied. She pulled out a pot full of a weird black liquid. It smelled kind of gross, but Minji knows what she's doing. After a few, Soojung walked in, looking mad. "What's up?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. "Freaking Hoseok. I swear to god, he's the most annoying little shit I have ever met. I'm just trying to get my stuff done and he doesn't let me do it! And like he does it just to make Jungkook and Taehyung laugh which makes me even more infuriated. Like fuck him!" She ranted. "That's what you've wanted to do since day one." Minji smirked. Oh. Gross. "Bitch." Soojung muttered. "Anyways, why were we called into your room?" "Ah yes, drink this." She handed us both a cup. Wait, when did she pour this? Ew, it's the liquid. "Whyyyyyy? It smells gross." I whined. "Just do it Sana!" Minji ordered. I gave a stank face, covered my nose, and chugged it down. "THIS IS SO GROSS!" Soogung yelled. I agreed by moaning in disgust. "Okay yes, but look in the mirror." Minji said. Soojung and I gave each other the side eyes, walked over to the mirror and dropped our cups. Our horns, wings, and anything demon related was gone. We looked human. "MINJI WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! I LOOK WEIRD!" Soojung cried out. "I look like a person. An actual human. Wow...." I whispered. "Alright, go get changed, we leave in about 30 minutes. " Minji said. I walked straight back to my room, and continued to look for an outfit. I took out ripped black jeans, a loose white V-neck, a leather jacket and boots. With my hair in a ponytail, I walked out to the main hall, waiting for the other two. I was so distracted by my nails, I didn't notice someone walk up to me. "Why do you look like that....?" A deep voice asked. I looked up, seeing Taehyung. I mentally cursed myself out, not knowing how to explain this. "Oh uh.... so like Minji decided to mess around with potions today, yeah and like uh.... she gave us each a different one and now I look human and yeah, that's it!" I smiled, trying to convince him, just like I was trying to convince myself that that was a good lie. "Okay, cool. That explains why she was in the library a few days back. Well, I'll talk to you later little Sana. Bye." And with that, he walked away. I stood still there, waiting for a few more minute, when Soojung walked out looking like a snack. She was wearing a red tank top, black shorts, a grey cardigan, and heeled black leather ankle boots. Her short hair was let loose and damn. She looked great. "Are you checking me out?" She gasped, mockingly. "Might as well do something Hoseok doesn't. " I winked. "F you." She spat. I laughed, looking at her annoyed face. Then Minji walked out, looking super hot. She had her long red flannel on, paired with her black skirt that was mid thigh length. she also wore a baseball cap and almost the exact same shoes as Soojung. Alright, both my friends are hot. Wow. Soojung / Gluttony Wow, we all looked great. We were now making one way to the portal, trying to avoid Namjoon, the other guys, and the big guy himself. We had successfully reached it, and one by one, walked through it. The cool breeze hit my skin, making goosebumps raise. Did the potion actually make us more human than just our appearance? Hm... Sana ran ahead, overly hyper. Minji stayed next to me, checking out the scenery. "Okay, first things first, does everyone have their little dark fairy?" Minji asked. Sana had calmed down, standing next to me now. "Yes! Miran is right here!" She said, holding her palm out to show us. The little fairy shook her head at her owner's actions. "Sebastian's right here." I said, pointing at my shoulder, where a little fairy was at. "Alright good, i have Jae in my pocket, because he's sleeping." Minji added. Of course he's sleeping. Sloth. "Okay, split up!!" Minji smiled. Sana ran off toward the rides, about to do whatever she pleases. Minji walked to the games and random stands. I went to my one true love, food. I went straight to the funnel cakes, and walked up to the window. "How can I help you young lady?" The worker smiled. I looked them straight in their eyes, into their souls. Two word in my mind FUNNEL CAKE. The blank expressions on their faces told me everything, they were under my control. The person went and put everything on the funnel cake, and then handed it to me. No need to pay or anything. As I sat, enjoying my funnel cake, I was rudely interrupted by someone. "Are you all alone?" He asked. "Yes, why do you care?" I replied. " just making sure I won't piss off a boyfriend." He winked. "I'm Min Yoongi. He introduced himself. "Soojung." I continued to eat, trying to ignore this very attractive stranger. "When you're done, wanna go hit some rides with me or something?" He asked. "Uh... maybe." I replied. "Uh maybe? No. I need a yes or no." He's so damn confident. "No. You do as I say." I said, challenging his dominance. "No. It's my way or no way at all." He stood in front of me, his nice figure towering over me. I can't let him win, but I also can't use my powers. I stood up, glaring at him. "Listen Min Yoongi, we do what I say, or you can go find some other victim to annoy." I growled. With one deep breath, he gave in. No one can dominate me. I started to walk away, happily with my funnel cake. I looked behind me, seeing Yoongi following me, I smiled at him. He glared. Lovely. Minji / Sloth All these games look so boring. While other ones required too much work. What was I to do? I walked up to a game where you throw balls to knock down cups. I saw a cute couple there. The boyfriend was trying to win something for his love. He threw the ball. Knocked the first one down. Then the next. Finally, his last turn. I smirked, watching the ball fly to hit the last. With the flick of my finger, the ball was off course and completely missed. "YOU LOSE!" The stand guy laughed. The girlfriend looked disappointed, while the boyfriend yelled at the guy that it was a rip off. Laughing, I walked away. I saw a stand that was selling cute little thing. I went to see the little stuff, admiring the work humans have put into these things. After a few minutes, I heard yelling. And not just any yelling. I looked up and saw Miran flying my way. "Sana. She's yelling at someone and is looking for things to throw." Miran said. "Shit." I put down what I was looking at and ran after the little fairy. Someone had to piss her off. Out of everyone here, they pissed off Sana. "WHAT THE F-!" I heard. "Jae! Go get Soojung!" I commanded him. He flew off, as I went to go see the commotion. I arrive to see Sana, being held back by two guys. She looked like she was about to kill someone. A few feet away, there was a girl who was giving her a smug, prideful look. I knew Sana was stronger than the guys. She wasn't using her full Force because she knew better than to expose us. Her eyes had a red tint to them, nothing too noticeable. Soojung finally showed up, and we both went running up to Sana. "What happened!?" I yelled. Sana realized she had caused a huge scene. She was still very mad, but her body had relaxed. She looked at me, her tinted red eyes looking into my 'soul'. "I was just walking around, and this guy," she points to the guy on her right, "starts to talk to me. Meet Jin. This is his friend Jimin." She points at the guy on her left. They had finally let go of her, seeing she was calm. "So Jin and Jimin are just striking up a conversation when this bitch," she point at the girl who I saw earlier, "decided she didn't like that. I don't even know who she is. So I had walked past here, with there two, when suddenly I'm on the fucking ground! And she stood above me, about to pour whatever she has in that cup on me. But Jin grabbed me and pulled me up, and Jimin stood in between us and told her to fuck off and then I just, I lost it." She was referring to her sin. Soojung was off in the corner, talking to some guy, I hadn't noticed him until now. I turned my attention back to Sana, shaking my head, disappointedly. "Sana... you can't have outburst like this! Especially not in public!" I got onto her. She shrank back, her normal eye color coming back. "You know what would happen if they found out!?" My voice showed a hint of anger. "Minji I'm sorry! It just happened!" She apologized. Soojung had walked up to us, the guy she was with was now with the two that were with Sana. "Sana. She was so jealous of you. She has a crush on the tall guy with black hair." Soojung explained. "Who? Jin?" Sana asked. "Yes. He's friends with Yoongi, the guy I was with. Yoongi explained that she has been trying to get with him for years now and he won't give her the time of day. So when she saw he was all over you, which you will explain later, she got jealous and tried to show Jin that no one but her was good enough for him." Soojung explained. So it was a jealousy thing. This girl was driving by envy. Namjoons specialty. Does that mean he knows? No he couldn't. We've gone weeks without seeing him sometimes. "Okay, we'll discuss this once we get home." I signed, "just enjoy the rides for now." Soojung and Sana nodded, then the three guys walked up to us. "Y'all wanna get on the zipper." One of them asked. "Oh this is Jimin." Sana reminded us. "The zipper?" I asked. "That one." The one I think called Jin said, as he pointed at the ride. "No thanks." I said. Sana and Soojung also declined. The guys smiled as us , got in line, and waited for their turn. "They're cute." Soojung smiled. "Very." Sana nodded. "Yeah.... but they're mortals." I moaned. Then I saw them get on the ride. They were strapped in, two of them together, the other with a stranger. The ride started. "I would never go on that." Soojung said. "Same." Sana and I agreed. We watched. And then, it happened. All hell broke loose. The ride malfunctioned. The bolts were coming loose, the ride was falling apart. "THE GUYS!" Soojung yelled. She was about to run for the ride, but I help her back. "Soojung... we’re sins. There's nothing we can do about it ." I whispered. Hearing the screams was amazing. Fuck. I know we should be panicking like the other, but I looked at the other two, they had wicked smiles on their faces. Soojung’s little rescue attempt was fake. Just like the rest of the act. The electrical fuse had exploded as the bolts come loose. It was now catching on fire. The pleasure I was getting out of watching this. I love it. I missed this. "I'm actually gonna miss those guys." Sana signed. She was trying to hide the look of pleasure we all felt. "It's not like we could keep them." Soojung replied. The screams were dying down. The people were dying. "What the fuck are you three doing here?" Aw Shit. We got caught.

[Part 2]

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