#generally a key for norms parents for me is:

[llumimoon]

WIP WEDNESDAYYY !!!!! uhmmmm take some wingfic angst JWBECWHAHAA sorry Norm <33

[youremyheaven]

Krittika: The Tarzan Complex & Survival Strategies

TW: murder, rape, genocide, euthanasia, death, violence, misogyny

This is part 2 of my ongoing Krittika series. This research was commissioned by the wonderful, angelic and patient, @rscelestia-blog . Being commissioned to do nakshatra research by you guys makes me feel like I'm a renaissance artist and you guys are my Medici family ✨🥺🫶💛 I'm so grateful for it.

For this post, I wanted to look into how this nakshatra often manifests in men. Whenever I talk about how naks manifest irl, I am talking about a tendency not a rule. Astrology is not a perfect science and it is very much possible that someone could have these placements and not behave this way. Also there are hundreds of different tendencies for each nak, since every astrologer is a mere human being with limited knowledge, what they derive from their studies is perhaps only a handful of such possibilities. Therefore every nakshatra has vast room for interpretation.

All that said, I have often thought that Krittika men were a bit unrefined and mannerless for a long time. I think this broadly applies to Solar men in general because they're a "guy's guy". However, this observation was further cemented by an ask that I received a long time ago where an anon pointed out how many actors who have played Tarzan or Tarzan like characters have Krittika nakshatra.

I will be making a separate post about the 'feral child' trope and how its most acutely manifest in a different planetary type but for this post I want to focus on the 'uncivilized' nature of Krittika/Solar men.

I had mentioned in my previous Krittika post about how since Krittika nak follows Bharani where creation takes place, Krittika is about survival.

In fact, the theory of 'survival of the fittest' was put forward by another Solar man aka Charles Darwin, Uttarashadha Moon

The term was originally coined by Herbert Spencer, Ketu in Uttaraphalguni after reading Origin of the Species

 Alfred Russel Wallace, whose own theory about the mechanics of evolution was almost identical to Darwin's, had a Solar stellium (Mercury & Venus in Uttarashadha and Jupiter in Krittika)

In Nazi Germany, they appropriated Darwin's "survival of the fittest" to eradicate anybody who wasn't Aryan or 'fit'. One of the key proponents of the same was an officer named Alfred Rosenberg, Uttarashadha Sun who was hanged to death after the war. He helped advance involuntary euthanasia to eliminate mentally ill and disabled individuals.

Now, lets go into Tarzan.

Tarzan is from an aristocratic British family and after losing his parents, he is adopted by the leader of the ape tribe, among whom he is raised. He later experiences civilization, rejects it and returns to the wild.

Many actors who have played Tarzan have either Solar influence or Venusian influence. In the 2 dozen actors who have played this character, the majority are Venusian tbh but I'll explore that more on a separate post about Venusian men. I think its interesting how different aspects of this character fit these two planetary types.

Here are some men who have played Tarzan

Johnny Weissmuller, Mercury and Venus in Krittika

He played Tarzan in 12 films and Jungle Jim in another dozen films and its TV adaptations as well.

Bruce Bennett, Krittika Sun (unrelated but i find this pic so funny lmao)

Tony Goldwyn- Krittika Sun and Venus (atmakaraka)

He voiced Tarzan in the 90s film

Tarzan has always been played by other Solar natives like:

Wolf Larson- Uttaraphalguni Moon

Alexander Skarsgaard- Uttaraphalguni Stellium

Now when we think of Tarzan, what do we most associate with him? He is a man who was raised in the jungle by apes since he was a baby, so he is "uncivilized" and by most standards "lacking manners", he is wild, messy, uncouth, improper and defies all kinds of social norms. We usually associate "mannerlessness" with belonging to perhaps a lower class in society but here is where Krittika and Solar men surprise us. They behave this way despite all that they have. They could be from immensely privileged backgrounds and still act like jungle freaks.

They lack social charisma, grace or "politeness". Tarzan is very independent because he was raised in the jungle where he had to learn how to fend for himself. Similarly, Solar individuals also tend to be very socially independent which means they're often not the best at interacting on a group level. In order to be sociable, you have to emotionally connect with others, Tarzan's early life is not something anybody else can connect to, even if he adopts a more "civilized" behaviour, he's still going to stand out because of how he's lived his life. Even if they're welcomed into and accepted by society, Solar individuals struggle to relate to and emotionally connect to them.

Sun naks are generally known for being a bit emotion-less but in Krittika this manifests in a very "each for himself/herself" mentality that ISNT self-serving. I would say Krittika natives are the least selfish and most service oriented of all the 3 Sun nakshatras. They know that its a dog eat dog world, so they almost have a tendency to be the one who does all the brunt work so that their loved ones can be spared of it?

I'll mention some examples of "mannerless" Krittika men now:

Howard Stern, Uttarashada Sun Krittika Rising

This guy straight up is so RUDE and crass and vulgar with ALL of his guests????

Here is him talking to Matthew McConaughey about his father dying and Matt is no better in this clip either but like wtf?? who talks like that???

Lowkey Solar individuals LOVE to gossip and start shit between people.

Here is a compilation of him being creepy and disgusting to women on his show.

Dana Plato, the actress, committed suicide a day after appearing on his show in 1999. The humiliation she endured is said to have been her breaking point. Her son committed suicide on the 11th anniversary of her death.

When I tell you Solar men are emotionally abusive, either by being avoidant and ignoring you or by being condescending, patronising, openly mocking you and treating you like shit, BELIEVE ME.

Jordan Peterson- Krittika Rising

I dont know if I need to explain why Jordan is a mannerless misogynistic asshole.

Here are some remarks made by Kate Manne, a feminist expert, who critiqued Jordan's work:

"There’s an interesting moment in the book where Peterson talks about resentment as a “revelatory” emotion that can mean one of two things. One, you feel it because you’re immature, in which case you just need to buck up. Two, you feel resentment because you really are being oppressed or taken advantage of somehow. Your resentment shows you that something needs to change or that you need to assert yourself in relation to other people.

But there is clearly a third possibility. People often feel resentful because they appear, based on historically entrenched social norms, to be getting a bad bargain, when what’s actually happening is that others are getting a somewhat fairer deal. When you’re accustomed to unjust privilege, equality feels like oppression, as the saying goes." (link to the whole article)

This is such a classic example of the way Solar individuals think. They don't really think in terms of privilege, justice, fairness etc??? They just think you can work hard enough to erase all the other socio-economic-political barriers that make things harder for others?? This is of course until they've had first hand experience of difficulties of this sort lmao but they are naturally not wired to think too much, they're very simple minded, like Tarzan, that's why Sun is the most Yang of energies. Its a very action-goal oriented line of thought. They are almost incapable of thinking in abstract or trying to see things within the context and subtext in which it has occurred.

This is also why they are often very academically gifted. Naturally intelligent people struggle the most in school because their brains are not wired to endure the structure and mechanical system of learning that our education system enforces. Intelligence by definition necessitates that the person possessing it is capable of thinking unconventionally and that means finding the school environment really limiting or restrictive bc schools fr be killing the joy of learning.

Solar individuals thrive within these systems because they seldom, if ever, question the system itself, they just learn their material and write the exam. They do not think "unconventionally" or beyond the binary in any way. They accept what they learn to be true and they are more focused on working within the system to climb its ranks. If this is the system we're in, they want to be THE BEST in it and they will master all of its rules to work with it to beat it??

This is why all Solar naks are at the very top of the caste hierarchy, Krittika is a Brahmin nak whereas Uttaraphalguni & Uttarashadha are both Kshatriya naks

Solar individuals are lowkey one of the least empathetic types. I dont mean this to be harsh but they're not very emotionally intelligent and its really hard for them to read a room or intuitively pick up on how someone's feeling/what's on their mind. You reallyyyy need to spell things out for them. It does not come to them naturally to understand how others think or to put themselves in the shoes of others because for Solar individuals everything is kind of a competition and when its a battle of survival, you dont stop to think how your opponents are feeling? this is not to say that they're in "survival mode",, Solars are too unbothered to be in fight or flight 24/7, its just the Tarzan mindset tbh. If you're an animal in the jungle, the jungle is your home, you understand how it operates, how you must hunt or starve, you know what your odds are, you cant be here feeling too empathetic towards other creatures knowing full well that you have to hunt them down and eat them or otherwise starve yourself to death. Animals are comfortable, secure and chill in their habitat but they also understand the stakes so they're always survival minded? Because it truly is each for his/her own out there.

Mark Wahlberg- Krittika Stellium (Mercury, Venus AK and Saturn)

Wahlberg is an A class asshole. In the 80s he assaulted two elderly Vietnamese men and a group of black children all the while hurling racist abuses at them.

Here is a clip from one of his movies:

I know its a film but this is for real how Solar men view the world. They see everything as a "conquest". (Tarzan mentality)

The simple minded Tarzan mentality is also why in the books and movies, Tarzan is unable to cope with civilization and returns to the jungle. The author said it's because Tarzan saw the world as too corrupt which is perhaps true but it's also because having lived in a jungle where the ruled are pretty simple and standard, being a member of society means adhering to many unspoken ruled and conventions. Solar individuals find it THE hardest to do so and when they're actual being true to themselves, they act like apes of the Howard Stern school.

Salvador Dali, Krittika Stellium (Sun, Mercury & Mars)

To make matters worse, he was UBP Moon (the influence of multiple malefic planets makes one more prone to being an asshole) and I have extensively covered his wrongdoings in my post about Saturnian men

However, for now I want to focus on how Dali was a Nazi sympathizer,

He was also obsessed with Hitler in a perverse way and apparently had homoerotic fantasies of him lmao??

He was once quoted as saying:

"I often dreamed of Hitler as a woman. His flesh, which I had imagined whiter than white, ravished me… There was no reason for me to stop telling one and all that to me Hitler embodied the perfect image of the great masochist who would unleash a world war solely for the pleasure of losing and burying himself beneath the rubble of an empire; the gratuitous action par excellence that should indeed have warranted the admiration of the Surrealists."

He was a big old fascist who also supported the Spanish dictator Franco which made Picasso stop talking to him for the rest of his life.

In 1975, when General Franco executed many people, hundreds and thousands of fascists gathered in support of Franco, chanting his name and making fascists salutes. When the world condemned this appalling act, Dali praised Franco and called him the “greatest hero of Spain.”

George Orwell, a strong critic of the fascist rule in Spain, despised Dali and wrote —

“During the Spanish Civil War, he astutely avoids taking sides and makes a trip to Italy. He feels himself more and more drawn towards the aristocracy, frequents smart salons, finds himself wealthy patrons, and is photographed with the plump Vicomte de Noailles, whom he describes as his ‘Maecenas.’”

Salvador Dali was nicknamed ávida dollars (“eager for dollars”) by his former surrealist friends for selling his consciousness and idealism for money and fame.

Average Solar behaviour

When I talk about Tarzan mentality, I'm referring to how lions dont feel remorse at the thought of killing deers. Its not in their nature to feel remorse. The hierarchy of the eco system is such that lions are predators and its their job to hunt. They are by biological design, carnivores. Its a bit sickening to think of how like animals, who have no choice but to be brutal to survive, Solar individuals often have this ruthless ambition to do absolutely anything to get ahead in life. The world we live in, is a capitalist, patriarchal world and the people who thrive in it are ones who are willing to overlook or dont see the faults in the system at all.

The ones who sit at the very top of the pyramid did not get there by being compassionate angels. 3/4 Brahmin caste naks are "ugra" or violent nakshatras, Krittika is the exception, as it is a "mishra" nakshatra (mishra means "mixed"). The ones at the very top are the most brutal and fierce. There is no other way to get to the top in this world.

Carrie Fisher, Krittika Moon

The singer James Blunt (Shatabhisha stellium) who was besties with Carrie, wrote in his memoir:

“I was closer to Carrie than almost anyone else in the world, except my wife. She told me which girlfriends weren’t suitable, was the first person I told when I met my wife, and we chose engagement rings for her together.

She also knew where every unmarked grave of mine lay and where every guilt stemmed from. She was complicit too. When I arrived home one morning with a love bite on my neck, and my girlfriend of the moment about to arrive, Carrie grabbed her 16-year-old daughter and gave her a love bite as well.

Then Carrie summoned me over, offering her own neck, and told me to give her a love bite. When the girlfriend arrived, we all had love bites.

There was also an issue with drugs. Carrie had long been open about her addiction, but at some point it was obvious enough to be of concern.

I stood many times at the foot of her bed at 3am listening to the laboured breathing of someone sounding close to death on heavy medication. Not long before she died, I asked her to be godmother to my son, telling her that I wanted her to take care of herself so that he might know her when he grew up.

Charlie, her best friend, confronted her more directly and told her she needed to quit drugs, but was ostracised by her as a result. I took a different approach and did them with her, pretending to myself that I would guide her to redemption one day – just not today.

The lies we tell ourselves are the ­hardest to forgive. As a result, her ­daughter Billie blames me in part for her death, and no longer speaks to me. They buried Carrie’s ashes in a giant ceramic Prozac pill. You can see a picture of it on the CD disc of my first album. There are only two of them in the world, and the other one is my most treasured possession.”

Krittika being a "mishra" or mixed nak means that its just as capable of being tender as it is of being destructive. There are only 2 mishra naks. The other one is Vishaka.

Carrie took James in before he had even made his debut and he lived with her and recorded the songs of his first album in her house. They had a long lasting friendship, all of this points to the kind, nurturing, almost maternal nature of Krittika but the other behaviour he mentioned, including the love bite giving lmao?? Krittika is a Solar nak and they wouldnt be who they are if they weren't competitive for no reason lol and ostracizing people who mean well??? Solarcore AF

I assure you trying to give advice to a Solar is pointless because like the Sun, they too are blinded by their own light, they see nothing, they comprehend nothing except their own projections. Plato's allegory of the cave was about Solars, I swear lmao. The truth can be very very obvious to absolutely everybody else but a Solar WILL NOT SEE IT

They embody this meme:

They're very low on emotional intelligence tbh. You could tell a Solar that someone almost murdered you and they'd be like "oh he's not very nice, is he?" 😭😭😭 I think it's also part of their simple minded Tarzan thinking. They take everything at face value and are straightforward to a fault. They just don't know or understand how crooked people can be.

I have Krittika Moon friend who is dating a Hasta Moon man (Solar x Lunar couples 🤧) and he was disgusting to me IN FRONT OF HER and he's been nasty af to many other women we all know and she wasn't his girlfriend at the time. But even after she knew all of this, she went on to date him and now they've been together for over a year lmao 🤮���🤮

They do not see the faults with themselves or with people they love. They live in a bubble of delulu and completely believe that all that glitters IS GOLD. They can be soooo naive, its insane. Theyre naive girls in bad bitch packaging.

Solar individuals struggle more than any other type to understand that things are not always black and white and that real life is veryyy complicated because people are complicated. In the jungle, such abstractions do not exist, things are very black and white, you can easily arrive at solutions by thinking in a very binary way. Sun nakshatras are focused on survival and this mentality warps their mindset from perceiving things in a more complex and nuanced way.

I want to emphasize once more that survival mentality is NOT being in flight/fight mode,, its more so about operating from a place of maximum efficiency and cutting out all the unnecessary bullshit. But being in survival mode is not living. We are not animals and there is more to life than just...surviving.. and thriving..

Solar individuals are the type for whom every kind of experience is a status symbol of some sort. Be it being desired, succeeding at school/work, making x amount of money, they dgaf about "enjoying" things, they are absolutely not the "stop to smell the roses" type, they want to be like the people who they envy or look up to, they want all those markers of success. Ask them about their motivations and you'll seldom hear of an emotional one.

They're mostly driven by a need to do well in life just because. We live in a world where money is king, and where certain things are conventional indicators of success and even if they have absolutely no desire for a certain kind of house, or car or brand or relationship, they do not want to be perceived as someone who is incapable of having it???? so they work hard to get it?? They get it for show, basically.

There is a reason why the ONLY nak without a yoni consort is a Solar nakshatra (Uttarashada). The height of Solar energy is such that its truly each for his/her own, no partners whatsoever.

Jack London, Uttarashadha Sun

He wrote books like a The Call of the Wild and numerous other adventure stories which are all about surviving in the wild by yourself lol

Its funny how literally the themes of certain naks and planetary influences are made manifest

 Richard Gadd- Krittika Sun and Venus

He is the star and maker of Baby Reindeer, which, if you really think about it, is a survival story. You have got to ask yourself is someone subject you to brutal stalking of the kind Gadd was subject to, would you spend YEARS of your career performing and reliving it? There could be many reasons why he chose to do so and many have found it highly problematic how a man whose privacy was so brutally invaded for so long would do so little to properly hide the identities of the real people he's talking about (his stalker was found out by netizens and she's been receiving death threats etc).

I feel like it points to the nature of the Sun. They will have the last word always and even when they're losing, they'll drag you down with them. But beyond that, I feel like it points to the ambition and tenacity of Krittika and their sheer will power.

Pitbull, Uttarashadha Sun, Krittika Moon & Rising

His life story is extremely Solar

The "American dream" tbh is a very Yang one and a very Solar one

He was born in USA to immigrant parents.His family has a history of fighting against the Castro regime in Cuba. When he was three, he could recite the works of Cuban national hero and poet José Martí in Spanish. He learned English by watching Sesame Street as a child. His father was largely absent from his childhood; his parents separated when he was young, and he was raised mostly by his mother, later stating: "my mom is my father and my mother." He briefly stayed with a foster family in Roswell, Georgia. His parents struggled with substance abuse; as a teenager, he was also involved with drug use and dealing, which eventually led to him getting kicked out of the family house.

Divorce, war, natural calamities, destruction of any kind is veryyy common for people born under Krittika, Ardra, Uttarashadha, Jyeshta, Ashlesha nakshatras.

Pitbull's parents were separated, they fled Cuba, he was kicked out and was literally left to fend for himself.

He said he chose his stage name of Pitbull because the dogs "bite to lock. The dog is too stupid to lose. And they're outlawed in Dade County. They're basically everything that I am. It's been a constant fight". Literally so Solarcoded??

I'll end this post here, I have more posts to come about Krittika and Solar naks so stay tuned. I hope this was insightful

I am sooooo sorry that I have been soooo slow with my uploads lately,, I just have a lot on my plate atm 😭😭😭I am going to try my best to be more consistent cause I want to finish this series asap as I have several other pending posts to make UGHH

[vampiristar]

Arcane Analysis: Mel’s Path to Self-Discovery

(arcane act III spoilers)

You know what? I’m just going to start with it: Mel was never truly in love with Jayce, and this is a key-aspect of her character as much as Jayce didn’t love her too. Sure, they cared for each other, but did either of them really feel love? True love? No.

Mel confided in Jayce about the immense expectations she faced as a Medarda. Her entire life was dedicated to gaining her mother’s approval, leaving no room to act for herself. Everything about her life was calculated, including her relationship with Jayce. To her, it was a perfect match—he was a rising star in Piltover, someone who fit the image she needed to maintain. She said it herself in act III when Jayce confronted her, he was a investment.

Then— the awakening of her powers. It’s a turning point for her. A moment where she begins to break free from those expectations and starts to find herself. It’s about independence, self-discovery, and stepping away from a life dictated by her mother.

Mel loves her mother, but she had to break away from her in the end because Ambessa was holding her back. Her mother saw her as a weakness, and in some ways, Mel’s attachment to her became her greatest obstacle to personal growth.

I love their relationship—Ambessa represents tradition and power, while Mel embodies a modern, forward-thinking approach. They loved each other deeply, but they never truly understood one another. This is about the generational gap between a parent and a child. And as a POC, damn I feel that.

Anyway. We know Mel was exiled for Noxus so, in a way, she managed to be far away from her family’s traditions… but the weight of social norms still clings to her. Mel had always lived within the norms in Piltover, always followed the expectations placed upon her—even when she didn’t fully realize it. She has to fit. She is a Medarda, she must represent her clan and show to others her greatness, that she's not a mere outsider.

Then, suddenly, she discovers that she was never truly part of those norms. She wasn’t what the world—or even she herself—thought she was. She, Mel Medarda, is an illegitimate child AND a mage. And now, she’s left to navigate this entirely new understanding of herself and her place in the world. It’s both terrifying and beautiful.

Personally, I kinda like to think of Mel as a queer Black woman seeking her individuality. The pressure to do everything to be socially acceptable is something that Black women deeply understand, but it’s also a struggle familiar to queer people. Mel embodies both experiences so powerfully.

It’s such a compelling narrative. I really hope we get to see more of her in the next project because her journey has so much potential. Watching her grow, break free, and fully embrace her true self would be nothing short of incredible. She will break generational curses, trust me 💫

[wingdingery]

for the ask game. i'm absolutely obsessed with this passage from mutually assured and would love to hear more abou it <3

Nowadays, at least. There was a time, long ago, when that wasn’t true—when Dick was just as welcome in Bruce’s bed as he was his own.

And that’s the problem with them, isn’t it?

“Remember when I was little?” Dick says. “I had so many nightmares. I probably spent most of that first year sleeping in here with you.”

“Dick,” Bruce says, and it’s half-warning, half-shame.

“You should’ve stopped me,” Dick says softly. Never mind the fact that Dick should have been old enough to know better at the time—at all the times. That he should know better now.

He just can’t help but think about if, ten years from now, Damian tried to kiss him—

“I tried,” Bruce says.

“Right,” Dick says. “That’s why you fucked me in the same bed you used to sing me to sleep in. Because you tried.”

“I told you time and time again that it was inappropriate—”

“You saying it doesn’t matter if we still do it.”

“Did you want me to stop you?”

“I don’t,” Dick says, and Bruce’s gaze sharpens on him at the present tense. “But that doesn’t mean we should have.”

“No,” Bruce murmurs, watching him intently, “we shouldn’t have.”

“Especially,” Dick says, “if you can’t commit.”

Bruce reaches out, capturing Dick’s chin between his fist and his thumb. “I can commit.”

“Then prove it.”

For the dvd commentary ask game – thanks for the ask! :) Putting my rambling under the cut – I hope that this touches on some of the things you were interested in! ❤

First, some context: mutually assured was written as a gift for last year’s BDSE. I picked it up as a post-deadline pinch hit, so since I didn’t have much time, I just chose the prompt that called to me the most (Bruce & Dick's relationship evolving through the years) and ran with it.

I ended up writing it in three evenings, so I didn’t think too much about it then—this is probably my first time really reflecting on it. This is an interesting passage because the true conversation happening relies so much on nuance, and even Bruce doesn’t fully catch on until near the end of it. Now that I’ve written it all out, I wonder .

Nowadays, at least. There was a time, long ago, when that wasn’t true—when Dick was just as welcome in Bruce’s bed as he was his own.

I was thinking of the classic Golden Age panels of Dick and Bruce sharing a bed when I wrote this. There wasn’t anything wrong with that per se—in general, it’s fine for parents to share a bed with their kids. But Bruce and Dick both are and aren’t father and son, so is it okay for them or not?

That was a key part of the tension driving this fic—in isolation, both Bruce and Dick would be fine with the progression of their relationship, but in reality, they’re very aware of what it should look like according to societal norms. And while Dick is happy to break norms together, Bruce feels neverending guilt and shame about it—and about the fact that, as the older one, he assumes more responsibility over keeping it proper.

And that’s the problem with them, isn’t it?

“That” actually refers to their entire history together—the fact that, to them, “once upon a time, a long time ago” was still a time they knew each other. Dick has wondered if the fact that they were part of the beginning of each other’s stories means they’ve always been doomed not to be part of each other’s endings.

“Remember when I was little?” Dick says. “I had so many nightmares. I probably spent most of that first year sleeping in here with you.”

“Dick,” Bruce says, and it’s half-warning, half-shame.

“You should’ve stopped me,” Dick says softly. Never mind the fact that Dick should have been old enough to know better at the time—at all the times. That he should know better now.

Dick is doublespeaking a bit here. On the surface, he’s talking about sleeping together and the inappropriateness of it—but again, there wasn’t anything actually wrong with them doing that, and Dick knows it. He’s actually shifted to talking about their situationship as a whole, which is made a bit clearer in the next line:

He just can’t help but think about if, ten years from now, Damian tried to kiss him—

Dick has a better frame of reference for Bruce’s conflicted feelings towards him now. But it doesn’t change Dick’s feelings towards Bruce, or what he wants.

So when he says, “You should’ve stopped me,” he really means, “I know I shouldn’t have pushed you, but I just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be, and I thought making you acknowledge this thing between us would help, but I was wrong. Stop giving in only to push me away for it. Stop making me hope there’s still a chance for us to be Us again if you know for a fact that there isn’t."

Of course, this is a lot of information to attempt to convey via doublespeak, so Bruce does not entirely get it at this point.

“I tried,” Bruce says.

“Right,” Dick says. “That’s why you fucked me in the same bed you used to sing me to sleep in. Because you tried.”

Here, too, Dick isn’t really upset about what they did, but he’s honing in on the source of Bruce’s shame and throwing it in his face because he’s frustrated by Bruce’s weak answer, and he’s learned throughout the fic (and throughout the years) that the way to get to Bruce’s honest feelings is to get an emotional rise out of him.

(Also, up to you how good of a singer Bruce is. If you have canonical awareness of Bruce’s singing abilities, please let me know.)

“I told you time and time again that it was inappropriate—”

“You saying it doesn’t matter if we still do it.”

“Did you want me to stop you?”

While Dick hasn’t (outwardly) been saying anything Bruce doesn’t already know, the one thing that’s kept Bruce from completely having a crisis of guilt over everything is the fact that he knew Dick wanted it. It would shake Bruce’s entire world if Dick were to say that he truly regrets everything that happened between them. So Bruce has been on edge and mildly terrified this entire conversation, because he doesn’t know if that’s what Dick is trying to tell him.

“I don’t,” Dick says, and Bruce’s gaze sharpens on him at the present tense. “But that doesn’t mean we should have.”

“No,” Bruce murmurs, watching him intently, “we shouldn’t have.”

This moment marks the shift in the conversation.

Again, Dick is saying, “I’ll never stop wanting you, but that doesn’t mean you have to give in,” and this time, Bruce catches the double meaning. He gets that when Dick talks about how things should be, it’s not from his own perspective—that he’s saying he understands that’s how things should be for their relationship to be neat and tidy and societally acceptable, but it isn’t how Dick wants things to be.

So when Bruce mirrors his language and says, “we shouldn’t have,” it’s them getting on the same page for the first time this conversation. They’ve established the basic facts of the case: (1) They are both well aware their relationship is not appropriate by general societal standards. (2) Dick does not and will not care about that.

Here and the next line, I put dialogue tags in the middle of sentences instead of between them to slow the conversation down, and to invoke the feeling of a silent room and words hanging in the air. This is the moment of truth.

“Especially,” Dick says, “if you can’t commit.”

Now that they’re finally talking about the same thing, Dick presents his argument: He doesn’t have a problem with being seen as wrong, as long as Bruce is actually beside him for it. No more stepping closer just to push Dick away. Either Bruce lets go of his inhibitions and gives himself wholly and fully, or they end this forever, because it hasn’t been good for either of them to keep fighting their internal battles alone. Bruce has to decide whether to hang on or to let go, because he can’t have it both ways.

Bruce reaches out, capturing Dick’s chin between his fist and his thumb. “I can commit.”

And Bruce is, of course, unwilling to ever let Dick go.

“Then prove it.”

This is the declaration of faith that Dick needs: that Bruce can express his want without shame, and that Bruce can stay by his side afterward without guilt.

Besides, promises should be sealed with a kiss, yes? …and perhaps a little more. ;)

[thebirdandhersong]

Okay so this year I watched a total of six dramas (seven if I manage to finish Run On before the new year, which might sound unlikely, but let's be for real: I have no plans, no friends living nearby, and no willpower to do anything drastically festive)! and these are some of the things I learned about writing from Love Next Door, Lovely Runner, Brewing Romance, Twinkling Watermelon, Knight Flower, and Summer Strike:

You don't need to reveal everything at the same time. The fondness Korean scriptwriters have for nonlinear storytelling (or the careful omitting of information for future revelatory purposes) is so interesting to me, and the way they reveal information you didn't realise they didn't tell you, especially in Lovely Runner, Twinkling Watermelon, and Summer Strike, makes the experience SO much fun.

Value of shared laughter. This is true especially in Brewing Romance, Knight Flower, and Summer Strike, where laughter is a key piece in the development of romantic relationships. What can I say? It gets me every time.

A good story creates expectations for the person listening to the story. If you set it up well, the reader/watcher will have a vague idea of what's to come that starts to form in their mind, and what you do with those expectations is then up to your own creativity. But the worst thing you can do for your narrative setup to go absolutely nowhere (see: Love Next Door and the complete lack of emotional depth and complexity in the relationship in the last few episodes. The setup for this relationship was so promising and it turned out rather flat at the end. The second leads became so much more interesting, but that also fell a bit flat in the end due to the writing. In a similar vein, you can take a look at Lovely Runner, which almost hits the biggest emotional beat in the story perfectly. You know that the truth about the time travelling WILL come out at some point, but the amount of time given to the reveal is so short and not as weighty as it should have been, compared to all the weight of the time travelling and the choices that build throughout the story. ALSO! You KNOW that Eungyeol is going to develop an even stronger bond with his parents in Twinkling Watermelon, both in the past and in the future. The fun of it is seeing how that comes about).

When you're writing historical fiction, societal norms (especially courtly manners, laws, curfews, and limitations) actually provide you an opportunity to play around and get creative. Knight Flower is set in the Joseon dynasty, and the writers do SUCH a good job exploring neo-Confucian ideas about women's role in society. Yeohwa's whole Robin Hood thing develops BECAUSE it is so restrictive for her as a widow, and the story gets to explore certain social situations in depth because those social norms are being observed by the characters (it's like having worldbuilding rules in a fantasy story). If you honour the structure you're working with, you can come up with quite a lot of plot points and scenarios that otherwise might not hold the same kind of weight.

The importance of inter-generational mentorship (i.e. Yeoreum and Bom's grandma in Summer Strike, Yongju and her grandma + Yongju and her old boss + Minju and the old ladies + in Brewing Love, the music store owner and Eungyeol in Twinkling Watermelon, etc.), which is a relationship that is deeply under-appreciated in individualistic cultures, and systems of honour according to age and experience. In my country, the communal part of life is and is treated as an integral part of society, and is even deeply embedded in the language. You would, in fact, call someone Mr. Manager or Ms. Librarian or Mrs. Teacher or Mr. Dentist. And you would, generally, treat those older than you with respect and deference, and consider those younger than you your duty to care for and teach. Tangentially, this is really lacking in the church right now and it bothers me very deeply that people simply don't care about bringing up the next generation and actually having a HAND in that, i.e. taking time to do that, making sacrifices for that, being inconvenienced in that, etc..... it is a rather detached approach that does no one any good whatsoever.

The importance of those quiet moments when you're sharing silence with someone. Summer Strike does this particularly well.

The importance of acknowledging and learning about the past so that you can navigate the present wisely. This shows up well in Love Next Door when Seokryu's past illness is revealed (and then the abrupt tone shift from that moment forward simply ruins the effect, in my opinion, but anyways) and in Summer Strike (at least in the first three quarters of the story). And it's practically the whole point of Twinkling Watermelon -- Eungyeol's main purpose becomes learning the past and changing the narrative. Anyway, side-eyeing Brewing Romance again for Yongju's complete lack of interest in Minju's past. That bothers me greatly. (She's willing to fantasize about what high school would've been like if Minju were there with her, but not willing to ask and hear him out about what ACTUALLY happened? Anyway.)

[nie7027]

Hot take here but...

Like I know this is Tumblr. This is the autism site.

So of course I knew everyone would side with Laios on this and empathize more with him but its driving me insane how everybodys saying Toshiro was completely on the wrong here and he should have communicated better and talked about his grievances with Laios WHEN THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS IS THEY WERE BOTH ON WRONG HERE.

LIKE THERES A REASON CHILCHUCK BRINGS UP HOW LAIOS SHOULD WORK ON HIS SOCIAL SKILLS A COUPLE OF EPISODES AGO/JUST BEFORE THIS HAPPENS?

like I know most of you don't like it but social cues ARE a part of society culture. Social cues ARE a form of communication.

In fact they were made to facilitate communication.

They were made so everytime Alice and Bob annoy each other they don't have to go and have a heart to heart when a simple gesture can have the same effect.

In fact sometimes better because sometimes addressing something with words makes it come out stronger/ruder than it is.

And sometimes just like you have problems understanding social cues some people have problems speaking, finding the way to words their thoughts/feelings correctly.

Specially among strangers where you don't know the others personality or how they could react to your words.

That's where social cues, that are general rules the majority of people have agreed on, work. To facilitate convivence.

And yeah there's an argument to be said about how you are supposed to know them if they are unspoken rules and the thing is YOU LEARN THEM THROUGH SOCIAL INTERACTION, through living in a society.

Just like gender norms and the like you don't learn them in school during a boring lecture where a professor lists them on the board. You learn them through interaction and repetition, throught observing your peers. Just like learning to talk and walk and other stuff. Heck, your parents and other adults around are supposed to ease you into it.

And yes, it's not a perfect system. But nothing is.

The saying 'communication is the key' doesn't refer to just talking.

Social cues and other non spoken gestures are also another form of communicating. Equally as valid as all the others

There's beauty in talking and openly expressing your love to someone. Or your grievances.

But there's also beauty in grabbing someones arm or the you picking up your friend is uncomfortable due to the turnup of their mouth or the way they stand.

One isn't superior to other. They are supposed to complement each other

Laios and Toshiros mistakes were relying completely in one or the other instead a compromising and finding a middle point.

Toshiro should have expressed his annoyance at Laios.

And Laios should have picked better Toshiros signs of discomfort.

(All of this isn't even taking into account how they come from different cultures and shock it comes with it because others have talked better about it and I wanted to focus on this. On how even if they have from the same background Laios should have also been a fault.

Hell not only social cues even talking is affected by ones cultural background. What for me is normal could come out as rude for someone in Japan)

[runin-reads]

Trans James Potter headcanons

This is just me brain dumping for my current prongsfoot WIP where James is a stealth trans guy and how this would affect the way he navigates relationships and his place in society. I try to base my writing on canon text so let me know if anything is inconsistent with the books

Not much would change. I see Sirius as someone who genuinely doesn’t care for a guys physical traits when it comes to falling in love. He’s perceptive and can see past a persons facade in seconds. He sees James as just another guy and falls for him because of his character— anatomy be damned. So wrt to their relationship they’d still be obsessed with each other and fit into that ‘two bodies one soul’ narrative

Nothing is off limits between them so I imagine Sirius would be very involved in James’ transition. He helps him do his T shots and he’s always the first person to notice and be told when James goes through a certain change

James would be the type to identify as a guy his entire life. It’s established in the books that his parents were very doting and wealthy, so even though they’re elderly I think they would accept James as their son and he’d have the support available to transition early on. James would be such a different person if his parents didn’t spoil him as a child, so I want to keep that aspect of his upbringing no matter what.

the way he would view his trans-ness would differ greatly from the current generation. I imagine there would be a huge dissonance between him and the label “trans” because he’s seen himself as a guy for as long as he can remember.

His idea of masculinity would be very hetero-normative given the time period he was raised in. His parents were happily married his entire life and I think their relationship would influence how he imagines his own future to be like. He wants to be a father to a child and a husband to a wife, and he subconsciously decides that that is the way a man should be.

In Snape's Worst Memory it’s implied that James cared a lot about what others think. While he and Sirius are antagonising Snape James kept looking back to see if the girls (namely Lily) were watching. I think being trans would only heighten this urge to be cool and popular. He’d love the attention he got from girls because it affirms his masculinity and he’d put a lot of effort into maintaining his image

I’ve already written about how prongsfoot (james/sirius) is queer coded. To add to that, there are two possible ways by which James deals with his not-so-platonic feelings for Sirius. One, he accepts these feelings much more easily than he would have in canon because he’s already trans so what’s a little more queerness. Two, he denies these feelings, preferring to stick to the hetero-normative standards set by his parents and society. (Both possibilities are based on my own experiences as a trans guy so trust me, trans people can still experience internalised homophobia)

On a more lighthearted note he’s the type of guy to try to put a permanent sticking charm on his packer/STP device lol. Key word: try. Sirius would talk him out of it but he would at some point find a way to use magic to keep his packer from falling out in the changing rooms etc.

His confidence would only grow once T starts taking effect on his body. He'd probably brag about his bottom growth to Sirius which, unbeknownst to James, ends up flustering Sirius a LOT

He doesn't bind because even though puberty blockers weren't used back in the 60s/70s, let's just say Monty and Effie found a magical alternative like a potion for example

idk if the wizarding world has its own equivalent of gender affirming care and I highly doubt JKR ever wrote about it, so I'll go off on a limb and say James uses both muggle and wizarding methods to transition depending on what's more convenient for the plot of my fic

NSFW

If j/s did fool around I think James would be pretty bossy in bed lmao and he'd be very adamant that Sirius should avoid 'female' terms for his body and stick to words like 'cock' or 'front hole'

It would take a long time for James to be open to intercourse so uh they'd get very creative in the meantime

not an expert on magic but James would definitely find a way to like charm his packer so that it gets erect and he can continue living in stealth.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: The Other Side of Disappearing by Kate Clayborn

4.25/5. Releases 3/26/24.

Vibes: true crime podcasts (critical), soft hero/hard heroine, complicated families, and dropping those defenses even when it's hard

Heat Index: 6/10

Ten years ago, Jess and Tegan's mother disappeared--with her con artist boyfriend Lynton Baltimore, made famous by a popular podcast. Now, the podcast's creator is on their doorstep with her protegee, Adam. They want to find Lynton; and Jess and Tegan could be their key. The last thing Jess wants to do after raising her sister on her own is go down this rabbit hole. But if Tegan is going, so is she; and as they unravel their mother's secrets, Jess finds herself more exposed than she's ever been before... and, even more horrifyingly, opening up to Adam (and his massive shoulders, perfect for crying into).

I was a little worried by the premise of this book. Don't get me wrong, it's a great idea--but was it going to be women's fiction? The answer: nope! This is a great example of how to write a book that has a big plot, and has well-developed characters beyond the two leads... while still being a romance. That's something that used to be way more of a norm, but I've noticed lately that it seems to have become all or nothing. You're either all focus on the leads, no plot and paper-thin supporting characters, or the romance gets crumpled up and it's women's fiction. (Which is fine! Women's fiction is fine! It's just generally not my thing.)

Trust Kate Clayborn to give you all the feelings about EVERYONE involved, along with a thought-provoking and twisty-turny concept, while never sacrificing the strength of the love story. I was so invested in Adam, a truly good dude who isn't without his own sore spots, slowly worming his way into Jess's heart. And Jess is simply a great heroine--wounded and tough and a bit angry but also desperately holding it together for the sister she's raised. I loved watching them fall in love. In fact, this is probably my favorite Kate Clayborn book so far.

Quick Takes:

--I am very vocal about finding a lot of good guy heroes boring, and that is because "good" often seems to translate into "perfect" or "completely toothless". Adam is a great example of how to write a good guy hero correctly. Kate Clayborn generally knows how to write about good people who aren't perfect and are compelling.

Here, Adam is essentially a gentle giant with great intentions in the long term... Who still compromises his morals initially. (Not for long! and I would say that she could've pushed him to compromise those morals for a bit longer, but I get it.) And he doesn't always handle everything perfectly, and he's not always smooth, and he's interesting and hot and kind of the boyfriend I feel is ideal without being PERFECT.

Also: his ears go pink when he's embarrassed, and he is definitely a bit embarrassed about his Bigness. Like, he's always bumping into shit because he's so Big, and that's embarrassing, you guys!!! This is. So important to me.

--I'm so into the Eldest Daughter Syndrome Stuff, as an eldest daughter. Jess and Tegan's relationship is so great, sitting in that space between parent and sibling, and at a really awkward point (as Tegan just turned eighteen). I found Jess deeply relatable, and her prickliness makes perfect sense... while still getting in her way.

Honestly, Jess's character growth is the type of thing I don't think heroines are allowed to do enough? It's introspective and difficult, and I absolutely loved where we ended up.

--There's a supporting character, original podcast creator/Adam's mentor Salem, who went in some really different directions. I kind of loved having a character who was like... not malevolent, but not wholly good, too? Who was selfish, and not an ideal parent, and a LADY?

In general, the commentary on true crime fandom stuff and podcasting is so good. I think we've definitely reached this point where true crime podcasts have really dipped heavily into exploitation. Of course there are good ones! But let us be real. I loved the way that she confronted this being both a story and Jess and Tegan's lives. And, in addition, how knowing that early on conflicts with Adam's sense of morality.

--As a random note... I've noticed recently that a lot of romance novels, even those by people I so love, have parents do some really shitty stuff, and then shove in this reconciliation with their kids at the end. I think this has to do with the need for an HEA. But like. You can have an HEA that involves acknowledging that your parent is shitty and doesn't deserve forgiveness. Trust.

All I'll say is that I really loved how Clayborn handled the parent stuff in this book.

The Sex:

Kate Clayborn always leans more towards the romantic than the explicit in her sex scenes, though they are open door. There are a few scenes in this book, and they're reeeeally sensual. I loved the way she wrote the dialogue during sex scenes, and like, the sexiness of Jess and Adam sneaking around on this road trip with her teenage sister right there. Ooh, it was hot.

Insightful, romantic, and challenging in some ways, The Other Side of Disappearing really impressed me. I already liked Kate Clayborn, and this only made me more excited about her future work.

Thanks to NetGalley and Kensington for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[marinaslibrary]

Throughts on Downton Abbey since I've just finished season one (hopefully this will end up being a long thread filled with my throughts each season)

(apologies for any typos as this is a long post and English isn't my first language so they are to be most certainly expected)

1. Mary

I love Mary as a character. She's the perfect representation of a woman being bolder than the socially acceptable norm without however crossing the line between "bold" and "unrealistic for her time period". She is a proud character, proud to the point of making foolish mistakes something I much appreciate. It takes nerves to make your female main character do things that may make her unlikable to some viewers, and downton abbey still dares to do just that for the sake of a well fleshed out character development. Her interactions with Matthew as she comes to appreciate him as a person with spirit that matches hers is so very intriguing. *Spoilers*The fact that she falls for him after he helped her sister is such a key point to her character and so is her reaction to losing him.

2. Sybil

Not as much on that front as both Edith and especially her have been on the background for most of the season. Very refreshing to see HER being the political character opposed to Mary, as she is seen to be such a sweet and caring person with something akeen to childlike wonder and naivety regarding the way she navigates new situations.

3. Edith

I particularly adore the fact that Edith while making choices that absolutely make her unlikable to the viewers she never takes the "this character is evil. We will not give them very solid motivations to act that way, just believe that they hate the fmc, want her ruination and they are 100% the bad guy". No. She has reasoning behind each action and she plots and schemes in a way only a woman of her position in society could: behind the scenes through flirtation. Her parents role for her as a the "single maiden who will take care of us in our old age" is a fate worse than death to her and thus makes her envious of Mary. Her character is most likely to get a redemption I will be happy for.

4. Thomas and O'brien

Ah yes. More villains that are fleshed out. I'm absolutely certain Thomas will get a redemption since the war announcement will change everything. As for O'Brien I'm not so sure - what happened with Cora is most likely something that will make her character harder to redeem. Whichever is the case their duo switches between being hilarious and making me wish to punch them.

5. Matthew

I'd love to see more interactions between him and Mary but so far they match to the T the "so different yet so similar " trope. Both are stuck in their ways, bold, and highly emotional and their differences can be attributed to the different backgrounds they come from. Matthew is a noble character however when his nobleness mixes with prejudice he ends up appearing stuck up and snobbish - a fault he quickly corrects in S1. Just like Mary he plays his cards close to his chest till he takes liking to someone's character. Highly intellectual, passionate and proud as it's shown in the last episode. So excited to see more of him

6. General observations about the family

Mr Roberts and Cora are also such an interesting driving force both in the way Downton operates and as characters themselves. A great example of parents trying to do their best with some mistakes occuring along the way. Especially in the case of Coras contradicting character qualities between prioritizing being a good mother above all else (see : the way she helped Mary no questions asked) and her prejudice against mr. Bates a disabled man. Edith and them will most certainly have an angry confrontation later on. Much that has been said about Cora can be said about the Dowager. She is a proud, powerful woman and she knows it however by no means is she an evil character (as can be seen in the rose festival) and she'd throw away all her morals and honour in order to protect her family. She's HILARIOUS as well :)

7. General observations about the help

At first I wasnt sure about Mr. Bates and Anna as a romantic duo but now I quite like them! Still though I'd like to see more platonic relationships between men and women despite the difficulty of such a thing occuring at the era. Daisy despite being quite naive which makes it understandable as to why some viewers would dislike her is one of my favourite characters. When you consider her level of education and young age it makes so much sense why she's so easy to manipulate. William I unfortunately don't care too much for. Yes he is a good character undoubtedly, however compared to the others, his stereotypically noble and self sacrificing while yearning for the woman who wants the "bad guy" arc is not as captivating of a storyline. Mr Carson is one of my favourite characters no questions asked, if anything happens to him I'll be devestated I LOVE HIM. Same but in a lesser degree about miss Hughes. Miss Patterson is also such a hilarious and comforting character she has made her way into my heart:)

Overall impressions:

I love the show. I love how it doesn't just focus on the family as I expected but every member of the house gets a storyline. On top of all the aesthetics, the settings, the props are so beautiful and realistic it's breathtaking. I cannot WAIT to watch next season :)

[thistleandthorn-rpg]

Congrats M on your new character, Jude Anderson. Please send in his blog within 48 hours!

Name/Alias: M

Preferred pronoun: She/They

Age (Must be 20+): 37

Timezone/Country: PST -8 ( US )

RP Experience: Overall experience, 20 years, give or take. I started on forums but moved over to Tumblr around 2010. I ran a few groups myself, including one that was Glee set in Riverdale. However, I haven’t been in an actual Tumblr group since 2019. I’ve stuck mainly to Discord groups since 2020

Activity Level: During the day due to my job; about a 4 or 5 but I tend to be more active in the evenings which could range from a 7 to 10

Have You Been in this RP Before (and who did you play): I haven’t.

IC INFORMATION:

Name: Jude Anderson

Designation (Dom, Switch, sub): sub

Age: 25

Birthdate : July 7th

Faceclaim: Darren Criss

Orientation: Panromantic/Homosexual

Kinks: Romance. Praise kink. Height differences. Voyeurism. Exhibitionism. Breath play. Choking. Bondage. Shabari. Sensory play. Impact play. Marking/Bruises/Biting/Scratching. Hair pulling. Rough treatment. Edging. Control and denial. Body worship. Voice kink. Daddy!kink. Power dynamics. CNC. ( There might be more I’m missing but just run something by me and we can talk about it since I’m open to most things )

Anti-Kinks: Scat. Sounding. Vore. Humiliation. Degradation. Age play that involved infantilization. Anything that results in permanent injury or scarring unless previously discussed

Key Points:

Exceptionally ambitious. Left for a few years to follow his dreams of being a Broadway star. Will sometimes put those dreams and ambitions above or in front of other essential things. Can come off as selfish.

Empathetic and loyal. Always trying to himself in someone else’s shoes and connect with them on an emotional level. However, it’s not always a good thing as it can leave him too invested in someone. Blind him to red flags or wound him on emotional levels when he feels slighted.

Outspoken. When he sees an injustice or feels there is a prejudice even if it’s against the norm or what others expect of him, he will often speak out of place and call it out. This can also manifest in some general brattiness but he will never be purposefully disrespectful.

Insecure and people pleaser. While he tries to project an outward exterior of confidence and security in knowing who he is, often times he can become deeply insecure over seemingly unimportant things. Always feeling like he needs to be the best at everything in order to be liked and loved.

BIO 

( TW: HOMOPHOBIA/BULLYING/VIOLENCE/SERIOUS INJURY/TOXIC RELATIONSHIP/STALKING/KIDNAPPING )

Being raised in the Anderson family meant that appearance was everything. The perfect nuclear family, always presenting their best faces forward. Never even a hair out of place. Which was exception hard with Jude’s hair that never seemed to cooperate and needed to be plastered down into submission. It seemed his older brother Cooper never had a problem being perfect at everything, tall, blue eyes and a smile that could bring the world to their knees. Most importantly, a Dominant. The pride and joy of the Anderson father. Everything that Jude was expected to live up to and always compared to. Sometimes it could be suffocating trying to rise to those expectations but it also helped motivate him to be a better version of himself than he was yesterday. Everything he did was an attempt to move out of that powerful shadow. Including allowing his dad to teach him anything and everything there was about cars and engines or playing all the sports he knew his parents would approve of if just to have them at his games and feel their pride for just a few moments.

The first time Jude realized he wasn’t exactly like the other guys on his team was in the 7th grade. During a time when all kids are going through puberty and discovering who they really are; Jude found himself with lingering gazes on, not on girls but rather other boys. When his friends talked about wanting to kiss or date the girls in their class, he found himself daydreaming about the cute boy from Social Studies. It took a while and some carefully worded questions, afraid that he was broken in some way, to an older mentor that he was able to conclude that he was gay. Jude being Jude meant that once he reached that epiphany, there was no way of keeping quiet about it. 

However, in hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have been as impulsive and rash as coming out to his entire school in one big show by confessing to the boy he had a crush on through song. That moment was when he lost a lot of the people he once considered his friends and the bullying started. Every day, without repose, he couldn’t escape the hateful words, alienation, or shoves in the hallways. Being smaller than the average boy, made Jude an even bigger target, often finding himself stuffed into small places or knocked down by guys twice his size. 

It seemed like there was no ending in sight and it all climaxed the night Jude went to a school dance with a friend, the only other out gay guy at their school. That night a bunch of his former teammates jumped them in the parking lot, beating both boys within inches of their lives. That incident landed Jude in the hospital for months and by the time he was released, he refused to go back to that school. Instead, he begged his parents to enroll him in a private school, where he felt much safer. Though safer was for a long time a relative word as it took a long for him to get over the PTSD from the attack. If it hadn’t been for a new friend he made, that pulled out more of Jude’s inner personality and confidence, he probably wouldn’t have survived it.

For a while, it seemed like life was going exactly how Jude wanted. But, the thing about life is, that it never goes according to plan. 

He was Jude’s first boyfriend. His very first boyfriend. 

While Jude had always given off an aura of experience, maturity, and knowing more than he did; truth be told, he was clueless. It had been the first time someone made him feel like the center of the universe. As though he were the sun and everything they had spent their whole life searching for. And in his youthful hopeless romanticism, he missed all the red flags and signs of danger. He didn’t notice how his life started revolving solely around him or when he started becoming more controlling and demanding. One day Jude, a social butterfly extrovert,  looked around and found himself isolated and alone. Systematically his boyfriend had removed everyone else from his life. A lot of them out of jealousy, accusing Jude of wanting to cheat on him or that they were people who wanted to break them up. Jude lost contact with a lot of close friends and people he cared about or who cared about him. Including his own twin brother and his Dom who had been a close friend.

Day after day, it seemed like they were fighting more than they were communicating. When Jude felt like enough was enough, he tried to end things. While he had tried to break up with him, his boyfriend refused to accept it. Which resulted in Jude being stalked, threatened and then one day he woke up tied up, being held captive. His ex kept ranting about how he wasn’t going to allow Jude to throw him away or allow him to be claimed by anyone else. For a week, Jude endured it all. Every indignity. Every abuse. He did everything he could to survive and appease his ex until finding his opportunity to escape. It wasn’t easy but once he was able to get free of the bondages, Jude ran like hell and never looked back. 

He kept running until he found himself in a new state altogether.

It took a while for Jude to rebuild his life, though he didn’t tell anyone about that incident. Mostly out of shame and embarrassment, but also because he was afraid of seeing pity in their eyes. As far as anyone knew, he left to chase his dreams. The selfish part of him dropping everyone and everything to go after that coveted spotlight. Which, he did find, eventually. It took a lot of hard work. Dragging himself from open audition to open audition, pounding the pavement, networking, and working in the ensemble or chorus before landing himself a starring role. Finally, Jude saw his name on the marquee and the posters originating a leading role. But… with that role came fame and publicity, his face and name everywhere. It didn’t take long before his ex found him. And even though Jude had put all of that behind him, working through it all with therapy, there was still some residual fear. As soon as his run and time on the stage ended, again he once again was running. This time, however, it wasn’t to somewhere new but home. Back to where he knew he’d have some safety.

BIO QUESTIONS (Please answer the following questions as the character. They are meant to be short answers, so please more than one-word answers):

What are your feelings about the mark you have received? 

At first… It was a little hard to accept. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t have any delusions that I would be a Dom but I had always assumed that when the time came;  I would be at the very least a Switch. After all, I didn’t fit the stereotypes of what a sub was supposed to be. I’m not meek, or complacent, nor do I let people push me around or try to make me feel less than. I’ve always been very extroverted and athletic, excelling at everything I did. However… after a while, I realized that all of that was just internalized prejudices. It was all assumptions I made based on what other people had always told me what a sub was supposed to be and not what they actually were. There is so much diversity and variety in sub because no two people are alike. While I wish we lived in a world where we weren’t stuck with labels on us, I’ve come to accept my mark and even connect with it in a way that makes me love it and myself more. And I guess, yes, I do have more submissive tendencies in me and enjoy the idea of being claimed by someone that I can spend my life making happy. A lot more than I realized.

How do your feelings on the system compare to your parents’ feelings on it?

Ah. Well, that’s a bit tough. My parents have an old-fashioned way of viewing the world. They like to believe in going with the status quo. While I agree on some level with some of the systems, I also believe in progress. In order to survive things need to evolve and keep progressing forward or else everything will be lost. 

Where do you see yourself after you graduate?  

Ideally with someone that I can spend the rest of my life growing with. Someone who respects me and the vision I have for my future and will work with me to build a future together

How do you feel about authority?

While it should be respected, it shouldn’t be followed blindly and never questioned. There are rules and order for a reason. It keeps people safe and protected but when it starts to be abused and used as a tool to control people or discriminate against people; then it’s time for a change.

WRITING SAMPLE (Only for first characters. Does not have to be in character. Feel free to copy/paste a former passage):

It felt like their town was in a pressure cooker, heat slowly rising and everything ready to blow until there was nothing left. Every week it felt like there was something worse happening. A killer on the loose, trailer parks burning down and that was on top of the normal navigating drama between friends and relationships. So, finding a minor escape in a place not very many people would think of to find him and with someone who was — 

Abs… Shirtless… Roman… Holy cow… 

Of course, he had expected to find the Serpent relaxing after a long day but he hadn’t prepared himself for the possibility of seeing Roman like this – pants that had to have been put on in a hurry were hanging low enough that Jude could see the curve of his hips, the deep-set v-line, tanned muscles toned and hard from construction and – no he wasn’t staring! 

At least that’s what Jude was telling himself as he forced his gaze to focus on Rome’s face, not that was much of a distraction either. It reminded him why helping his friend choose clothes for a date had been so hard… not hard but difficult. Yes, it was difficult because they had a tension between them that they both ignored because as people who had feelings for other people, it wouldn’t be right. Even though lately Jude was feeling more lonely in a relationship than he did out of one… However, he loved Dare with his whole heart so he could endure anything. Even if his body was not on the same page at this moment. 

A hand came up and rubbed the back of his neck, as Jude went inside the trailer, letting the door close behind him. “Yeah… I know… I just–” What did he want? If he were single, he’d probably be here to kiss Roman and tangle up some sheets but that wasn’t why he came, right? “Needed a friendly face and someone who is in a weird place like me. Who understands…” Pulling off his hoodie, the t-shirt underneath sticking to it, Jude had opted to be a lot more casual than usual tonight – even his hair wasn’t as gelled down as normal. “I figured you could use someone like that too…”

[unpluggedfinancial]

Legacy Beyond Wealth

What kind of world are we building for the next generation? Are we teaching them to chase fleeting rewards, or to think about the lasting impact of their choices? Bitcoin is more than a revolutionary technology or a decentralized form of money; it’s a movement that carries with it the potential to reshape our cultural values. At its core, Bitcoin promotes long-term thinking, personal responsibility, and sustainable living—values that have the power to create a meaningful legacy for future generations.

As someone who has embraced Bitcoin and its philosophy, I find inspiration in the idea of leaving behind more than financial wealth. For me, the journey is deeply personal, tied to the example I want to set for my daughter. But these lessons extend far beyond family. They represent an opportunity for humanity to reconsider its priorities and embrace a better future.

The Problem with Fiat Culture

The fiat monetary system—with its endless printing of money and inflationary policies—has fostered a culture of short-term thinking. Under this system, wealth loses value over time, encouraging people to spend rather than save. This “spend-it-before-it-loses-value” mindset spills over into every aspect of life, promoting consumerism, instant gratification, and a lack of accountability.

Beyond financial consequences, this culture influences societal norms. It devalues patience and discipline while rewarding reckless behavior. Governments and institutions set the tone by overextending resources, often prioritizing short-term fixes over sustainable solutions. This is the world we risk passing on to the next generation: one where fleeting rewards are prioritized over enduring principles.

Bitcoin as a Cultural Reset

Bitcoin stands in stark contrast to the fiat system. Its foundational principles—fixed supply, proof of work, and decentralization—offer a blueprint for a cultural reset. Here’s how Bitcoin’s philosophy aligns with values that can positively shape the future:

Long-Term Thinking: Bitcoin’s limited supply and deflationary nature encourage saving rather than spending. It rewards those who plan for the future and cultivate patience. This is a profound shift from the fiat-induced urgency to consume immediately.

Personal Responsibility: Owning Bitcoin requires individuals to take full custody of their wealth. There’s no bank to call if you lose your private keys, and no third party to rely on for recovery. This emphasis on self-reliance cultivates accountability and encourages individuals to educate themselves and make informed decisions.

Sustainability: Despite criticisms of its energy usage, Bitcoin has increasingly aligned itself with renewable energy. Many miners now operate using excess or stranded energy sources, making Bitcoin mining a driver of innovation in sustainable practices. Compared to the inefficiencies of fiat systems, Bitcoin represents a leaner, more efficient alternative.

Generational Impact

Teaching Future Generations: Adopting Bitcoin isn’t just about investing in digital assets; it’s about instilling a mindset. Teaching children and young adults about Bitcoin can inspire values like discipline, independence, and critical thinking. These qualities are essential for navigating an increasingly uncertain world.

Family Legacies: Bitcoin offers a new kind of inheritance. Unlike fiat, which is subject to inflation and mismanagement, Bitcoin’s value is preserved over time. Parents who pass on Bitcoin to their children aren’t just giving them money—they’re passing on lessons about responsibility, foresight, and the importance of building a secure future.

Around the world, Bitcoiners are already shaping this legacy. Families are using Bitcoin as a tool to educate their children about financial sovereignty, showing them how to operate in a world where trust isn’t outsourced to institutions but built on transparency and code.

Beyond Financial Wealth

Bitcoin’s impact goes far beyond money. It’s a catalyst for reimagining the societal norms we pass down. A world built on Bitcoin could emphasize fairness, equity, and transparency, shifting the cultural narrative from exploitation to empowerment.

For example, Bitcoin’s trustless system challenges the need for centralized authorities to mediate human relationships. This creates opportunities for communities to collaborate and thrive independently of government intervention. It’s a vision of empowerment that can redefine the way people approach everything from finance to personal growth.

Conclusion: A Call to Action

What will your legacy be? Will it be rooted in the fleeting promises of fiat, or in the enduring values that Bitcoin represents? Embracing Bitcoin is about more than financial gain; it’s about participating in a movement to build a fairer, more sustainable world.

The choices we make today—to invest in principles like long-term thinking, personal responsibility, and sustainability—will shape the world we leave behind. For me, Bitcoin isn’t just an asset; it’s a way to teach my daughter, and others, how to live with purpose and build a future worth fighting for.

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[party-gilmore]

absolutely wild learning about my austistic leanings later in life because like

my parents just thought i was “eccentric” and found me rather entertaining, weirdness and all (plus their own probably undiagnosed AuDHD making their benchmark for normal skewed anyway) and my mon specifically was always so “mever change for anyone just be you” from a very young age so i just…

never experienced the concept of masking i guess?

Not as masking, I mean.

i would read accounts from autistic people talking about their experiences and struggles and pressure to conform and masking and the mental effects thereof and i would feel empathy because i “went through similar issues” but i th

i thought i was just being bullied for being Weird. just in general. like kids do. that this was a case of “well this sounds a lot like what i go through, but im not actually autistic so it probably isnt my place to join the conversation.”

it just never clicked that, “um. hi. these are the exact same behaviors you do. and there were moments in your life that almost led you to masking. because thats what it would’ve been. masking. but your dumb ass thought it wouldve just been ‘changing how you act and who you are in order to be bullied less’ which okay TECHNICALLY yes that is an accurate if watered down description of masking too, but.

Then you refused to on principle, because bullying is bad and fuck you and got angry about it to the point of overcompensating and INCREASING your Behaviors (tm) until you completely skipped over one of the key experiences that wouldve helped you identify with other people on the spectrum later in life.”

I just rolled through life like a steamroller of righteous, spiteful confidence that my preferences and actions were nobody’s business but my own and vice versa unless they clearly and directly affected others - so much so that I never actually set any kind of benchmark pattern for the way (NT) people around me act.

So I never had a benchmark for masking.

like im going back through all my memories of friendships that soured because i took everything at face value instead of trying to read deeper into cues. because I would always just say what i wanted people to know, straight up. like if i wanted attention i would ask for it if i wanted them to know i was hurt i would tell them. That made so much sense to me i assumed that was the norm. Because clearly. Thats logical. and obvious. So certainly other people are doing the same.

I got blinsided a LOT by the games my school friends and later some early adult friends played, yeah, but AGAIN (see: steamroller of self confidence) I simply assumed that was THEIR problem, not mine, and just… grieved the friendship and hoped for their sake they’d eventually sort their shit out 🤣

I literally thought they were the ones having difficulty with social contracts and cues and relationships.

Then over the past couple years the more I see accounts from other people in the AuDHD spectrum, like “yeah neurotypicals actually [thing i had been assuming was just an asshole trait for years without questioning it], heres what they really mean and a good script for responding” and “its funny how i [exact behavior i did for years] and no one realized i was austistic till later” im like… 🙃

And the last kicker was the post about food touching with the tag response “sometimes masking your autistic traits ends up more autistic than the unmasked trait” and my gut reactions were, in order:

…why would you bother to mask that, why is the way you eat anyone elses business?

i mean i guess it would ease up the pressure a bit, i got bullied for that too, i can see how maybe you wouldnt want to have to put… up with…

…

oHHHH SHIT IS THAT WHAT IT WOULDVE BEEN. IF I HADNT BEEN SO ANGRY ABOUT BEING ASKED TO CHANGE. IT WOULDVE BEEN MASKING. IF I’D KNOWN WHAT THAT WAS. THIS WHOLE TIME.

its just… its just been a series of months of me shaking my head and realizing my entire life has been that meme like “Am I having difficulties connecting socially??? No, it is everyone else who is wrong.”

🤣 girl help

[wanderinglotus7]

I appreciated reading this book. Another book about feminism, yet with a Black perspective. Not only a Black perspective, but from a voice of someone who identifies as a Fat Black Queer Woman. I don’t necessarily identify myself in that way, but I loved how this author spoke true on how she navigates in this world. Speaking the truth in acknowledging and embodying our intersectionality. Who knew there is such a thing called Trap feminism. If trap feminism means I can be me without giving 2 f**ks of what others think of me…sign me up!

I am a Christian Black Feminist Demisexual Woman who is intelligent, independent, compassionate, and adventurous who is also a counselor, a storyteller, an advocate, a prayer warrior, and a bookworm who loves her music and probably the realest person you’ll ever meet.

HERE ARE MY TAKEAWAYS:

“Generally speaking, Black people do have a higher tolerance for body fat on feminine bodies than other groups do. But thick and fat are not the same thing. White beauty norms will always find themselves a seat at the table, even ours, and that includes vicious fat phobia.”

“For those of us who are most marginalized, beauty actually becomes a tool that can be used to defend ourselves against racism, sexism, transphobia, classism, etc.”

“Multiple studies have concluded that Black women and girls have higher rates of self-esteem and confidence than other female groups. Confidence is waiting on the other side of choosing to keep it real with yourself, choosing to heal some shit, choosing to humble yourself.”

“Maintaining your standards means saying no to people, places, and things that don’t serve you.”

“Economic mobility is a bit of a myth in that it’s often dangled in front of Black folks as the key to a better life, but without context, nuance, or a blueprint.”

“Our bodies are heavily surveilled and our behaviors unfairly policed out of fear that we will misuse our sexuality. We’re expected to protect ourselves from abusers, and it’s us who are held accountable when we are abused. We’re denied the right to innocence before we’re old enough to know what it means.”

“Our own internalized anti-Blackness has led us to believe that Black excellence comes only in the form of heterosexual marriage, kids, and wealth building. Because our survival as Black folks in Westernized culture often depends on our ability and willingness to succeed under these moral codes, we’ve embraced those heteronormative, binary rules and incorrectly processed them as part of some natural order.”

“ The reasons and methods used to shame Black women for their choices in sex, dating, and relationships are endless. Black women can no longer afford to be martyrs, healers, parents, or scapegoats in our relationships. I’M NOT A THERAPIST, A BUSINESS MENTOR, A LIFE COACH, OR A CRISIS MANAGER. I AM NOT TAKING ON ANY OF THOSE ROLES TO DATE SOMEONE. I WANT A LOVER, NOT A JOB.”

“Friendship is how you get really good practice in empathy, healthy conflict resolution, and to build and be in community. It’s how you learn to appreciate community so that you’re not headed into your other relationships expecting one person to be your everything.”

[sowthetide]

I saw the words If, Joffrey and Girl, in your previous ask and immidietly thought of And bless the daughter but fuck the family by dwellingondreams on ao32 that I read recently. And it was CRAZY GOOD??! The Joanna-Cersei interactions goes so hard. Especially with the whole younger more beautiful queen thing taking all she holds dear thing I just know internally Cersei’s probaly like ‘That’s Oomf but I low-key hate her 😭😭’

And I have yet to find a good genderbend Jon fic myself 1) Most of them are not my taste writing wise and 2) Those that I think ARE well written have Jon like you said act like a feisty she-dragon-wolf hot maiden who is hot or she’s just an object of desires for the men around her and by around her I mean any living man in Planetos ( i once remember reading a story where 14 years old girl!Jon was getting married to Oberyn and girl!Jon was thinking about how she didn’t need to shave because she had found or made a salve that dissolved all her body hair?? FORVER!!! and I was like ???? Then I continued reading of course ) And I have nothing against exploring incest in fiction ESPECIALLY in asoiaf like bear found on bear island…. But the girl!Jon/Robb thing doesn’t really hit because I think gay incest will always be better than straight incest,,,,Exemples : Aegon and Orys. Aenys and Maegor. Aemon and Baelon. Rhaena and Baela. The maiden vault girlies during the later years #keepingitlegal. Aemon The Dragonknight and Aeg-[GUNSHOT]. Umm what was i talking about again??

I totally agree that for a genderbend to stick the character should still have at least trace of what their original gender counterpart has like why is Fem!Jon not sulking , throwing little tantrums, being conflicted and feeling guilty every waking hour of the day :( like please make her a little bit emo please please please-

For ME! for a genderbend story to HIT, the character getting bended must have a 1) An Interesting and Very Fucked connection to BOTH parents that the gender thing can only worsen and 2) Also a Also Very Fucked Not Good Kinda Bad What’s Wrong With You relation to their gender and patriarchal norms in Westeros. Again, it’s asoiaf so it doesn’t really narrow it down that much( Mommy/ Daddy issues + not seeing women as people? That’s every bitch like ??) but I’m going on the basis that u understand my vision of like : Jon = decent/good. Theon,Joffrey,Maegor = GO CRAZY GO STUPID€/&/@1@

(Also genderbends only work on way for me because why would I turn a woman 🥰 into a man 😐)

Just read "And bless the daughter but fuck the family" and uhhh... 😵‍💫 Okay okay okay. Perfectly insane genderbend. Give it a read, y'all (and tbh all of dwellordreams' fics go crazy, so check 'em out!)

Warning: mean opinions incoming. I'm a nice person usually I swear, I just also enjoy hating sometimes. Firstly, I agree that most Jon genderbends blow ass. Oftentimes, "Jon" just seems like a female author self-insert for someone who thinks Sansa is too girly/lame. Which I wouldn't generally have a problem with (we're all just here for a good time, and one man's unbearable cringe is another man's life-changing magnum opus), but it makes it hard to find genderbends that do interesting things with the actual character, rather than just inventing a female OC and calling it Jon.

"i once remember reading a story where 14 years old girl!Jon was getting married to Oberyn and girl!Jon was thinking about how she didn’t need to shave because she had found or made a salve that dissolved all her body hair?? FORVER!!! and I was like ????"

Oh my god lmaoooo. Beyond the ridiculousness of that, modern values in ASOIAF fics is more than a pet peeve to me, it's like a... man-eating tiger peeve. For instance, I quite like "Adjust For The Wind", as it's what inspired me to write Sow the Tide, but it also has a bizarre bit about women shaving their legs & genitals. Like:

Southern ladies are expected to remove all hair from between their legs.

&

“If you decide to groom between your legs using a razor or a knife, practice on your legs first. You can also use walnut oil, or bandages soaked in ammonia in a pinch.” Theon frowned. “I… see,” he parroted Mordane’s words. “And what do I use to keep myself clean… um, down there?”

Like literally what the fuck are you talking about lmao. To say that this took me out of the fic would be an understatement. I was so bothered by this that I tried to find actual published sources, but there didn't seem to be any particularly strong answers (besides that shaved genitals were more common among prostitutes). Also, for anyone reading, you do NOT need to clean inside your vagina, and your vulva (outside your vagina) should only be cleaned with warm water and a gentle soap if necessary. A strange place for me to make this point, but I'm making it.

I also tried a Jon genderbend fic recently, except fem!Jon had purple eyes and didn't look like Ned at all??? Despite that being a critical aspect of Jon's appearance??? I was just so completely flabbergasted because this author changed almost everything about Jon's appearance and personality, but somehow it's still supposedly Jon??? Like that's literally just an OC. Worse, of all things to keep, they stuck with Jon's canon age of 14 in a fic based around a romance with a 22-year-old man (Willas Tyrell). Maybe it's just because I'm 22 myself, but my immediate reaction was literally: "hm. I think Willas should be beaten to death." Like the fic itself felt tantamount to character assassination of Willas 😭 I was even bitching about this (wildly popular) fic on Discord:

I just hope to god the fic writer was a teenager, otherwise it seems like they just took GRRM's creepy handling of young characters like Dany at face value. Westeros obviously has different values, but it's concerning when the author themself seems to buy into those pedophilic standards.

GAY INCEST WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN STRAIGHT INCEST!!!!!!!!! 🗣️

lmaooooo. Also: "genderbends only work on way for me because why would I turn a woman 🥰 into a man 😐" <- REAL SHIT!!!!!!! You had me cracking up with that one.

Also also: "Aemon The Dragonknight and Aegon" SAY THAT!!!!!!!

Seriously. Let fem!Jon be a sulky, prickly, angry, kind, self-important little emo. Let fem!Theon be an ambitious, vain, insecure, proud, also self-important little bitch. A complicated relationship with one's parents is a plus, and a complicated relationship with Gender is a MUST! Bonus points if they're a crazy bitch in canon (Theon, Joffrey, Maegor, as you point out)!!! I've currently been thinking about fem!Maegor ngl... 👀

Anyway, thank you for dropping in. I'm probably gonna end up making a fun haterism server with goddcoward and some other homies, in addition to the more chill Quen sever. If that comes to fruition, join us in the silly complaint circle!

[vmures]

Today's musings are on the complex and fascinating bonds between humans and how those are viewed in various cultures. In particular, I want to talk about found family and my personal experiences regarding the topic.

First, I want to set the stage as to what larger cultural norms are at play for me personally. I'm a US American, generally raised in the South (though there were childhood years spent in the Southwest and Inland Northwest as well) who has, as an adult, largely lived in New England and the Mid-Atlantic regions of the US.

My bio family is...well the politest terms would probably be "a dumpster fire of generational trauma, dysfunction, and toxicity." Those relationships are complex and fraught with issues for the most part. I was fortunate to mostly patch things up with my dad before he passed and after he sobered up and acknowledged a majority of his fuckups as a dad. I still talk with my bio brother, and we love each other, but we're not particularly close these days. I haven't talked with my bio mom for twenty years. The only other person from my bio family that I'm close to is a second cousin who is only a year older than me and who was a dear friend to me growing up. Always felt more like a sibling than a cousin, to be honest.

Despite the lack of supportive and healthy relationships with my bio family, I have a wonderful found family that I've been a part of for more than twenty years. And the thing about familial relationships (found or bio) is that they are layered and complex, and sometimes it's easier to use shorthand to refer to relationships rather than a whole long ass story on how you are connected or, in the case of bio family, disconnected.

My found family is largely made up of a group of women and their partners, plus some of our extended friends. Most are in the same age range, with some variation. And we all consider each other family. For the core group, we tend to refer to each other as sisters, because that is the easiest way to explain our relationship to others. One couple tends to get referred to as the parental units of the group though we do not call them mom and dad.

One of the key reasons we end up using familial terminology to refer to each other is cultural expectations. These folks are my next of kin. They are the ones who will visit me in the hospital should something happen. It's a hell of a lot easier and quicker to say "sister" when visiting someone at the hospital, especially if someone is in critical care and only family is allowed. It was also easier when one of us had to go pick up one of the kids from school or something to be listed as their Aunt. People understand those relationship terms and it's shorthand to help you get through social situations without having to give a longwinded explanation of your relationship that makes you feel like the guy from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia with his conspiracy board.

Is this the case with all found families? No. Found families, like bio families, come in a wide variety of configurations. But I bet in certain situations, people do use shorthand just to bypass the cultural bullshit or restrictions that come into play (e.g. visiting someone in ICU). But I wanted to share my experiences and thoughts. Because I am getting a bit tired of some of the "stop using family terms for found family" dialogue. It feels a bit like a slap in the face and someone telling me that my lived experience isn't valid or real.

Like all such discourse, it is nuanced. I agree that people shouldn't police others' interpretations of things (i.e. tell someone they can't ship someone because they are siblings in a found family). But that is a different issue. One more related to people being unable to see that their interpretation doesn't supersede anyone else's--that there is no one true way to see anything. It's all filtered through our own experiences and views.

Human relationships are complex and varied across the board, and languages don't always have words to express those connections fully. English is fairly limited when it comes to words describing relationships. Add in that certain cultures, in my case US American culture, often favor some relationships more than others, and you have a bit of a mess that can make describing your loved ones and family challenging. It would be lovely if we could all keep that in mind when discussing these things. There are many ways to live your life and many types of families, found or otherwise. Maybe someone's experience is beyond your ken, but that doesn't mean it's less valid or real.

[bllsbailey]

Presidents Day Is a Fraud!

Today is Presidents Day. It shouldn’t be.

It’s yet another example of Washington politicians screwing around with important, organic commemorations that celebrate key national figures in our country’s history for superficial contemporary priorities.

Most recently, in 1968 a Democrat Senate, a Democrat House, and a Democrat president eliminated the national celebration of George Washington’s birthday on Feb. 22. The first president was dead, so he couldn’t object.  

Pretty much everyone knows by now that Democrats think they can declare people’s genders simply by recognizing them with signs and executive orders. As he has with many silly things already, President Trump officially eliminated any confusion by officially declaring our government now recognizes only the two biological sexes, male and female.

I’ve grown increasingly suspicious over the years that this persistent federal holiday re-engineering by Democrats was the precursor of DEI. They seem to believe government can order or do anything according to their transient social-engineering bucket lists.

You know, that nothing American is exceptional; it simply can’t be, you understand. That no one is special above others, not even if they work extra for it. Just by being alive, we’re all contributing equally, and equally mediocre is good enough. Anyone who's ever held a real job knows not all work equally hard.

The Declaration of Independence declares everyone is born equal and that everyone has certain inalienable rights, including "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Everyone can chase their own happiness. Go for it! But you get no guaranteed outcomes, not even plastic trophies from China just for showing up.

Our government even got away with changing the birth dates of historical figures, which tarnishes the long-lived tradition of celebrating heroes. It dumps everyone into an amorphous blah.

Without George Washington there would be no United States. He was the key element in a magical alignment of people, events, places, and history that spawned an exceptional, enduring experiment in self-governance that will mark its own 250th birthday next year.

Washington had no children, but he became the father of a new country. He organized, held together, inspired, and commanded a ragtag army in the Revolutionary War to defeat the world’s most powerful military. 

And then to get things started right, he reluctantly served two terms by acclamation as the first commander in chief, setting important norms and standards for that office. No. 1 also wisely kept the new country out of foreign entanglements.

News Flash! George Washington was not born today, on Feb. 17. No president was. He was born on Feb. 22, 1732, in Virginia just in time for his historical calling. He reportedly paid little attention to his birthday. No bouncy tent, no clowns and balloon tricks.

But in 1789, a grateful new nation began celebrating Feb. 22 as a government holiday in Washington, along with July 4th. In 1879, that became the official national holiday.

After that date millions of schoolchildren, including me, from scores of generations, including mine, got the day off after class projects learning about his life, accomplishments, crossing the Delaware River, favorite food (bread in warm milk), powdered white wigs, and inability to tell a lie.

If Feb. 22 came on a weekend, tough luck for no classes, but we still did the learning beforehand. And reminded our parents of the important day at dinner that evening.

The same was true for No. 16, Abraham Lincoln, who was born on Feb. 12, 1809, the first president born outside the 13 original colonies (Ky).

Lincoln had little school learning growing up in Indiana and Illinois. But he had an abundance of common sense, worked hard on the home farm, was self-educated, and walked many country miles to return a library book. Only recently did I learn he was an accomplished amateur wrestler in the militia and at county fairs.

I remember one crayoned diorama in seventh grade about his life that covered three whole blackboards, which were actually black in those days. 

We did not learn much about the president’s four sons. I suspect because three of them died as children. That and the Civil War would explain their father’s sad face shortly before his murder in 1865 (on the right above).

I remember reading out loud with classmates the 272 words of the Gettysburg Address(I had to look up what "four score" was)and thinking there must have been more to the speech for something so famous.

As someone who’s written many speeches, mainly for others, I shall forever marvel at the eloquence and economy of the words Lincoln himself wrote.

For many decades then, we separately honored the two greatest presidents -- the one who made the country and the one who kept it a country.

That all seemed appropriate and provided regular reasons like the Pledge of Allegiance each morning to think about things beyond the school room that were important as citizens.

But that all ended in 1968. 

That’s when Congress turned the third Monday in February into Presidents Day. 

Who cares about actual history if you can wrangle another three-day weekend by ignoring it.

The invention of "Presidents Day" from whole cloth has sapped most of the meaning from its observance. Smartly, a few states, mainly Midwestern, still mark Feb. 12.

Now, more than ever, Americans bitterly divided over passing modern issues could use genuine and enduring historic role models to share beliefs in and unite around, beyond just mega-rich pro athletes or celebrities who change spouses like jewelry.

Plus, let’s be honest. In the real world, every player does not deserve a trophy and every president does not deserve a holiday. Some U.S. presidents were good, others adequate. And some were real turkeys. 

So, the historic days and teaching tools marking our two greatest leaders in 249 years were perversely turned into a time for stores to combat dreary winter sales by providing incredible deals on mattresses and pillows.

That’s not worth a holiday either.

Memorial Day originally was called Decoration Day. That’s because even before the Civil War ended, beginning in the South and moving North, mothers on both sides began decorating the graves of the fallen from both sides. President Lincoln proclaimed that annual honor as May 30, which would be a Friday this year.

Once again, in 1968 the urge to change the news from the Vietnam War infected Congress. Members noticed we’ve had numerous wars since the 1860s. So, Decoration Day was changed to Memorial Day to honor all the fallen. That’s fine.

But in reality, that was simply cover for changing the date to the last Monday in May because -- you guessed it -- three-day weekend. This year a May 30th Memorial Day would fall on a Friday; instead, it’s Monday the 26th.

It would be hard to change the date of Armistice Day. That was when World War I ended at precisely 11 a.m. on Nov. 11th in 1918. It was supposed to be the war to end all wars. 

It wasn’t. 

An estimated nine million troops died in that conflict, seven million civilians, and eight million horses, mules, and donkeys. The biggest killer was artillery fire, second was poison gas; 2,738 men made it through the war only to die during the last morning’s unnecessary bombardments.

Britain’s Imperial War Museum has constructed a haunting sound-ranging audio recording of the last minute of fighting from the American front on the Moselle River, using primitive battlefield microphones deployed to trace artillery fire.

Since it was not the last war, Armistice Day was renamed Veterans’ Day.

Thanksgiving is another holiday government officials have tinkered with. The Pilgrims had the first Thanksgiving the fall of 1621, sometime between Sept. 21 and Nov. 9. Three days of eating and drinking, so exact memories after were a little foggy.

President Lincoln set Thanksgiving Day nationally as the last Thursday in November, which is where it stood for decades. 

Then in 1931, another Democrat, President Franklin Roosevelt, changed it to the third Thursday. He felt the need to lengthen the holiday-shopping season.

Eight years later, Congress restored the holiday to Lincoln’s choice.