#generally a key for norms parents for me is:

[vampiristar]

Arcane Analysis: Mel’s Path to Self-Discovery

(arcane act III spoilers)

You know what? I’m just going to start with it: Mel was never truly in love with Jayce, and this is a key-aspect of her character as much as Jayce didn’t love her too. Sure, they cared for each other, but did either of them really feel love? True love? No.

Mel confided in Jayce about the immense expectations she faced as a Medarda. Her entire life was dedicated to gaining her mother’s approval, leaving no room to act for herself. Everything about her life was calculated, including her relationship with Jayce. To her, it was a perfect match—he was a rising star in Piltover, someone who fit the image she needed to maintain. She said it herself in act III when Jayce confronted her, he was a investment.

Then— the awakening of her powers. It’s a turning point for her. A moment where she begins to break free from those expectations and starts to find herself. It’s about independence, self-discovery, and stepping away from a life dictated by her mother.

Mel loves her mother, but she had to break away from her in the end because Ambessa was holding her back. Her mother saw her as a weakness, and in some ways, Mel’s attachment to her became her greatest obstacle to personal growth.

I love their relationship—Ambessa represents tradition and power, while Mel embodies a modern, forward-thinking approach. They loved each other deeply, but they never truly understood one another. This is about the generational gap between a parent and a child. And as a POC, damn I feel that.

Anyway. We know Mel was exiled for Noxus so, in a way, she managed to be far away from her family’s traditions… but the weight of social norms still clings to her. Mel had always lived within the norms in Piltover, always followed the expectations placed upon her—even when she didn’t fully realize it. She has to fit. She is a Medarda, she must represent her clan and show to others her greatness, that she's not a mere outsider.

Then, suddenly, she discovers that she was never truly part of those norms. She wasn’t what the world—or even she herself—thought she was. She, Mel Medarda, is an illegitimate child AND a mage. And now, she’s left to navigate this entirely new understanding of herself and her place in the world. It’s both terrifying and beautiful.

Personally, I kinda like to think of Mel as a queer Black woman seeking her individuality. The pressure to do everything to be socially acceptable is something that Black women deeply understand, but it’s also a struggle familiar to queer people. Mel embodies both experiences so powerfully.

It’s such a compelling narrative. I really hope we get to see more of her in the next project because her journey has so much potential. Watching her grow, break free, and fully embrace her true self would be nothing short of incredible. She will break generational curses, trust me 💫

[llumimoon]

WIP WEDNESDAYYY !!!!! uhmmmm take some wingfic angst JWBECWHAHAA sorry Norm <33

[youremyheaven]

Krittika: The Tarzan Complex & Survival Strategies

TW: murder, rape, genocide, euthanasia, death, violence, misogyny

This is part 2 of my ongoing Krittika series. This research was commissioned by the wonderful, angelic and patient, @rscelestia-blog . Being commissioned to do nakshatra research by you guys makes me feel like I'm a renaissance artist and you guys are my Medici family ✨🥺🫶💛 I'm so grateful for it.

For this post, I wanted to look into how this nakshatra often manifests in men. Whenever I talk about how naks manifest irl, I am talking about a tendency not a rule. Astrology is not a perfect science and it is very much possible that someone could have these placements and not behave this way. Also there are hundreds of different tendencies for each nak, since every astrologer is a mere human being with limited knowledge, what they derive from their studies is perhaps only a handful of such possibilities. Therefore every nakshatra has vast room for interpretation.

All that said, I have often thought that Krittika men were a bit unrefined and mannerless for a long time. I think this broadly applies to Solar men in general because they're a "guy's guy". However, this observation was further cemented by an ask that I received a long time ago where an anon pointed out how many actors who have played Tarzan or Tarzan like characters have Krittika nakshatra.

I will be making a separate post about the 'feral child' trope and how its most acutely manifest in a different planetary type but for this post I want to focus on the 'uncivilized' nature of Krittika/Solar men.

I had mentioned in my previous Krittika post about how since Krittika nak follows Bharani where creation takes place, Krittika is about survival.

In fact, the theory of 'survival of the fittest' was put forward by another Solar man aka Charles Darwin, Uttarashadha Moon

The term was originally coined by Herbert Spencer, Ketu in Uttaraphalguni after reading Origin of the Species

 Alfred Russel Wallace, whose own theory about the mechanics of evolution was almost identical to Darwin's, had a Solar stellium (Mercury & Venus in Uttarashadha and Jupiter in Krittika)

In Nazi Germany, they appropriated Darwin's "survival of the fittest" to eradicate anybody who wasn't Aryan or 'fit'. One of the key proponents of the same was an officer named Alfred Rosenberg, Uttarashadha Sun who was hanged to death after the war. He helped advance involuntary euthanasia to eliminate mentally ill and disabled individuals.

Now, lets go into Tarzan.

Tarzan is from an aristocratic British family and after losing his parents, he is adopted by the leader of the ape tribe, among whom he is raised. He later experiences civilization, rejects it and returns to the wild.

Many actors who have played Tarzan have either Solar influence or Venusian influence. In the 2 dozen actors who have played this character, the majority are Venusian tbh but I'll explore that more on a separate post about Venusian men. I think its interesting how different aspects of this character fit these two planetary types.

Here are some men who have played Tarzan

Johnny Weissmuller, Mercury and Venus in Krittika

He played Tarzan in 12 films and Jungle Jim in another dozen films and its TV adaptations as well.

Bruce Bennett, Krittika Sun (unrelated but i find this pic so funny lmao)

Tony Goldwyn- Krittika Sun and Venus (atmakaraka)

He voiced Tarzan in the 90s film

Tarzan has always been played by other Solar natives like:

Wolf Larson- Uttaraphalguni Moon

Alexander Skarsgaard- Uttaraphalguni Stellium

Now when we think of Tarzan, what do we most associate with him? He is a man who was raised in the jungle by apes since he was a baby, so he is "uncivilized" and by most standards "lacking manners", he is wild, messy, uncouth, improper and defies all kinds of social norms. We usually associate "mannerlessness" with belonging to perhaps a lower class in society but here is where Krittika and Solar men surprise us. They behave this way despite all that they have. They could be from immensely privileged backgrounds and still act like jungle freaks.

They lack social charisma, grace or "politeness". Tarzan is very independent because he was raised in the jungle where he had to learn how to fend for himself. Similarly, Solar individuals also tend to be very socially independent which means they're often not the best at interacting on a group level. In order to be sociable, you have to emotionally connect with others, Tarzan's early life is not something anybody else can connect to, even if he adopts a more "civilized" behaviour, he's still going to stand out because of how he's lived his life. Even if they're welcomed into and accepted by society, Solar individuals struggle to relate to and emotionally connect to them.

Sun naks are generally known for being a bit emotion-less but in Krittika this manifests in a very "each for himself/herself" mentality that ISNT self-serving. I would say Krittika natives are the least selfish and most service oriented of all the 3 Sun nakshatras. They know that its a dog eat dog world, so they almost have a tendency to be the one who does all the brunt work so that their loved ones can be spared of it?

I'll mention some examples of "mannerless" Krittika men now:

Howard Stern, Uttarashada Sun Krittika Rising

This guy straight up is so RUDE and crass and vulgar with ALL of his guests????

Here is him talking to Matthew McConaughey about his father dying and Matt is no better in this clip either but like wtf?? who talks like that???

Lowkey Solar individuals LOVE to gossip and start shit between people.

Here is a compilation of him being creepy and disgusting to women on his show.

Dana Plato, the actress, committed suicide a day after appearing on his show in 1999. The humiliation she endured is said to have been her breaking point. Her son committed suicide on the 11th anniversary of her death.

When I tell you Solar men are emotionally abusive, either by being avoidant and ignoring you or by being condescending, patronising, openly mocking you and treating you like shit, BELIEVE ME.

Jordan Peterson- Krittika Rising

I dont know if I need to explain why Jordan is a mannerless misogynistic asshole.

Here are some remarks made by Kate Manne, a feminist expert, who critiqued Jordan's work:

"There’s an interesting moment in the book where Peterson talks about resentment as a “revelatory” emotion that can mean one of two things. One, you feel it because you’re immature, in which case you just need to buck up. Two, you feel resentment because you really are being oppressed or taken advantage of somehow. Your resentment shows you that something needs to change or that you need to assert yourself in relation to other people.

But there is clearly a third possibility. People often feel resentful because they appear, based on historically entrenched social norms, to be getting a bad bargain, when what’s actually happening is that others are getting a somewhat fairer deal. When you’re accustomed to unjust privilege, equality feels like oppression, as the saying goes." (link to the whole article)

This is such a classic example of the way Solar individuals think. They don't really think in terms of privilege, justice, fairness etc??? They just think you can work hard enough to erase all the other socio-economic-political barriers that make things harder for others?? This is of course until they've had first hand experience of difficulties of this sort lmao but they are naturally not wired to think too much, they're very simple minded, like Tarzan, that's why Sun is the most Yang of energies. Its a very action-goal oriented line of thought. They are almost incapable of thinking in abstract or trying to see things within the context and subtext in which it has occurred.

This is also why they are often very academically gifted. Naturally intelligent people struggle the most in school because their brains are not wired to endure the structure and mechanical system of learning that our education system enforces. Intelligence by definition necessitates that the person possessing it is capable of thinking unconventionally and that means finding the school environment really limiting or restrictive bc schools fr be killing the joy of learning.

Solar individuals thrive within these systems because they seldom, if ever, question the system itself, they just learn their material and write the exam. They do not think "unconventionally" or beyond the binary in any way. They accept what they learn to be true and they are more focused on working within the system to climb its ranks. If this is the system we're in, they want to be THE BEST in it and they will master all of its rules to work with it to beat it??

This is why all Solar naks are at the very top of the caste hierarchy, Krittika is a Brahmin nak whereas Uttaraphalguni & Uttarashadha are both Kshatriya naks

Solar individuals are lowkey one of the least empathetic types. I dont mean this to be harsh but they're not very emotionally intelligent and its really hard for them to read a room or intuitively pick up on how someone's feeling/what's on their mind. You reallyyyy need to spell things out for them. It does not come to them naturally to understand how others think or to put themselves in the shoes of others because for Solar individuals everything is kind of a competition and when its a battle of survival, you dont stop to think how your opponents are feeling? this is not to say that they're in "survival mode",, Solars are too unbothered to be in fight or flight 24/7, its just the Tarzan mindset tbh. If you're an animal in the jungle, the jungle is your home, you understand how it operates, how you must hunt or starve, you know what your odds are, you cant be here feeling too empathetic towards other creatures knowing full well that you have to hunt them down and eat them or otherwise starve yourself to death. Animals are comfortable, secure and chill in their habitat but they also understand the stakes so they're always survival minded? Because it truly is each for his/her own out there.

Mark Wahlberg- Krittika Stellium (Mercury, Venus AK and Saturn)

Wahlberg is an A class asshole. In the 80s he assaulted two elderly Vietnamese men and a group of black children all the while hurling racist abuses at them.

Here is a clip from one of his movies:

I know its a film but this is for real how Solar men view the world. They see everything as a "conquest". (Tarzan mentality)

The simple minded Tarzan mentality is also why in the books and movies, Tarzan is unable to cope with civilization and returns to the jungle. The author said it's because Tarzan saw the world as too corrupt which is perhaps true but it's also because having lived in a jungle where the ruled are pretty simple and standard, being a member of society means adhering to many unspoken ruled and conventions. Solar individuals find it THE hardest to do so and when they're actual being true to themselves, they act like apes of the Howard Stern school.

Salvador Dali, Krittika Stellium (Sun, Mercury & Mars)

To make matters worse, he was UBP Moon (the influence of multiple malefic planets makes one more prone to being an asshole) and I have extensively covered his wrongdoings in my post about Saturnian men

However, for now I want to focus on how Dali was a Nazi sympathizer,

He was also obsessed with Hitler in a perverse way and apparently had homoerotic fantasies of him lmao??

He was once quoted as saying:

"I often dreamed of Hitler as a woman. His flesh, which I had imagined whiter than white, ravished me… There was no reason for me to stop telling one and all that to me Hitler embodied the perfect image of the great masochist who would unleash a world war solely for the pleasure of losing and burying himself beneath the rubble of an empire; the gratuitous action par excellence that should indeed have warranted the admiration of the Surrealists."

He was a big old fascist who also supported the Spanish dictator Franco which made Picasso stop talking to him for the rest of his life.

In 1975, when General Franco executed many people, hundreds and thousands of fascists gathered in support of Franco, chanting his name and making fascists salutes. When the world condemned this appalling act, Dali praised Franco and called him the “greatest hero of Spain.”

George Orwell, a strong critic of the fascist rule in Spain, despised Dali and wrote —

“During the Spanish Civil War, he astutely avoids taking sides and makes a trip to Italy. He feels himself more and more drawn towards the aristocracy, frequents smart salons, finds himself wealthy patrons, and is photographed with the plump Vicomte de Noailles, whom he describes as his ‘Maecenas.’”

Salvador Dali was nicknamed ávida dollars (“eager for dollars”) by his former surrealist friends for selling his consciousness and idealism for money and fame.

Average Solar behaviour

When I talk about Tarzan mentality, I'm referring to how lions dont feel remorse at the thought of killing deers. Its not in their nature to feel remorse. The hierarchy of the eco system is such that lions are predators and its their job to hunt. They are by biological design, carnivores. Its a bit sickening to think of how like animals, who have no choice but to be brutal to survive, Solar individuals often have this ruthless ambition to do absolutely anything to get ahead in life. The world we live in, is a capitalist, patriarchal world and the people who thrive in it are ones who are willing to overlook or dont see the faults in the system at all.

The ones who sit at the very top of the pyramid did not get there by being compassionate angels. 3/4 Brahmin caste naks are "ugra" or violent nakshatras, Krittika is the exception, as it is a "mishra" nakshatra (mishra means "mixed"). The ones at the very top are the most brutal and fierce. There is no other way to get to the top in this world.

Carrie Fisher, Krittika Moon

The singer James Blunt (Shatabhisha stellium) who was besties with Carrie, wrote in his memoir:

“I was closer to Carrie than almost anyone else in the world, except my wife. She told me which girlfriends weren’t suitable, was the first person I told when I met my wife, and we chose engagement rings for her together.

She also knew where every unmarked grave of mine lay and where every guilt stemmed from. She was complicit too. When I arrived home one morning with a love bite on my neck, and my girlfriend of the moment about to arrive, Carrie grabbed her 16-year-old daughter and gave her a love bite as well.

Then Carrie summoned me over, offering her own neck, and told me to give her a love bite. When the girlfriend arrived, we all had love bites.

There was also an issue with drugs. Carrie had long been open about her addiction, but at some point it was obvious enough to be of concern.

I stood many times at the foot of her bed at 3am listening to the laboured breathing of someone sounding close to death on heavy medication. Not long before she died, I asked her to be godmother to my son, telling her that I wanted her to take care of herself so that he might know her when he grew up.

Charlie, her best friend, confronted her more directly and told her she needed to quit drugs, but was ostracised by her as a result. I took a different approach and did them with her, pretending to myself that I would guide her to redemption one day – just not today.

The lies we tell ourselves are the ­hardest to forgive. As a result, her ­daughter Billie blames me in part for her death, and no longer speaks to me. They buried Carrie’s ashes in a giant ceramic Prozac pill. You can see a picture of it on the CD disc of my first album. There are only two of them in the world, and the other one is my most treasured possession.”

Krittika being a "mishra" or mixed nak means that its just as capable of being tender as it is of being destructive. There are only 2 mishra naks. The other one is Vishaka.

Carrie took James in before he had even made his debut and he lived with her and recorded the songs of his first album in her house. They had a long lasting friendship, all of this points to the kind, nurturing, almost maternal nature of Krittika but the other behaviour he mentioned, including the love bite giving lmao?? Krittika is a Solar nak and they wouldnt be who they are if they weren't competitive for no reason lol and ostracizing people who mean well??? Solarcore AF

I assure you trying to give advice to a Solar is pointless because like the Sun, they too are blinded by their own light, they see nothing, they comprehend nothing except their own projections. Plato's allegory of the cave was about Solars, I swear lmao. The truth can be very very obvious to absolutely everybody else but a Solar WILL NOT SEE IT

They embody this meme:

They're very low on emotional intelligence tbh. You could tell a Solar that someone almost murdered you and they'd be like "oh he's not very nice, is he?" 😭😭😭 I think it's also part of their simple minded Tarzan thinking. They take everything at face value and are straightforward to a fault. They just don't know or understand how crooked people can be.

I have Krittika Moon friend who is dating a Hasta Moon man (Solar x Lunar couples 🤧) and he was disgusting to me IN FRONT OF HER and he's been nasty af to many other women we all know and she wasn't his girlfriend at the time. But even after she knew all of this, she went on to date him and now they've been together for over a year lmao 🤮🤢🤮

They do not see the faults with themselves or with people they love. They live in a bubble of delulu and completely believe that all that glitters IS GOLD. They can be soooo naive, its insane. Theyre naive girls in bad bitch packaging.

Solar individuals struggle more than any other type to understand that things are not always black and white and that real life is veryyy complicated because people are complicated. In the jungle, such abstractions do not exist, things are very black and white, you can easily arrive at solutions by thinking in a very binary way. Sun nakshatras are focused on survival and this mentality warps their mindset from perceiving things in a more complex and nuanced way.

I want to emphasize once more that survival mentality is NOT being in flight/fight mode,, its more so about operating from a place of maximum efficiency and cutting out all the unnecessary bullshit. But being in survival mode is not living. We are not animals and there is more to life than just...surviving.. and thriving..

Solar individuals are the type for whom every kind of experience is a status symbol of some sort. Be it being desired, succeeding at school/work, making x amount of money, they dgaf about "enjoying" things, they are absolutely not the "stop to smell the roses" type, they want to be like the people who they envy or look up to, they want all those markers of success. Ask them about their motivations and you'll seldom hear of an emotional one.

They're mostly driven by a need to do well in life just because. We live in a world where money is king, and where certain things are conventional indicators of success and even if they have absolutely no desire for a certain kind of house, or car or brand or relationship, they do not want to be perceived as someone who is incapable of having it???? so they work hard to get it?? They get it for show, basically.

There is a reason why the ONLY nak without a yoni consort is a Solar nakshatra (Uttarashada). The height of Solar energy is such that its truly each for his/her own, no partners whatsoever.

Jack London, Uttarashadha Sun

He wrote books like a The Call of the Wild and numerous other adventure stories which are all about surviving in the wild by yourself lol

Its funny how literally the themes of certain naks and planetary influences are made manifest

 Richard Gadd- Krittika Sun and Venus

He is the star and maker of Baby Reindeer, which, if you really think about it, is a survival story. You have got to ask yourself is someone subject you to brutal stalking of the kind Gadd was subject to, would you spend YEARS of your career performing and reliving it? There could be many reasons why he chose to do so and many have found it highly problematic how a man whose privacy was so brutally invaded for so long would do so little to properly hide the identities of the real people he's talking about (his stalker was found out by netizens and she's been receiving death threats etc).

I feel like it points to the nature of the Sun. They will have the last word always and even when they're losing, they'll drag you down with them. But beyond that, I feel like it points to the ambition and tenacity of Krittika and their sheer will power.

Pitbull, Uttarashadha Sun, Krittika Moon & Rising

His life story is extremely Solar

The "American dream" tbh is a very Yang one and a very Solar one

He was born in USA to immigrant parents.His family has a history of fighting against the Castro regime in Cuba. When he was three, he could recite the works of Cuban national hero and poet José Martí in Spanish. He learned English by watching Sesame Street as a child. His father was largely absent from his childhood; his parents separated when he was young, and he was raised mostly by his mother, later stating: "my mom is my father and my mother." He briefly stayed with a foster family in Roswell, Georgia. His parents struggled with substance abuse; as a teenager, he was also involved with drug use and dealing, which eventually led to him getting kicked out of the family house.

Divorce, war, natural calamities, destruction of any kind is veryyy common for people born under Krittika, Ardra, Uttarashadha, Jyeshta, Ashlesha nakshatras.

Pitbull's parents were separated, they fled Cuba, he was kicked out and was literally left to fend for himself.

He said he chose his stage name of Pitbull because the dogs "bite to lock. The dog is too stupid to lose. And they're outlawed in Dade County. They're basically everything that I am. It's been a constant fight". Literally so Solarcoded??

I'll end this post here, I have more posts to come about Krittika and Solar naks so stay tuned. I hope this was insightful

I am sooooo sorry that I have been soooo slow with my uploads lately,, I just have a lot on my plate atm 😭😭😭I am going to try my best to be more consistent cause I want to finish this series asap as I have several other pending posts to make UGHH

[nie7027]

Hot take here but...

Like I know this is Tumblr. This is the autism site.

So of course I knew everyone would side with Laios on this and empathize more with him but its driving me insane how everybodys saying Toshiro was completely on the wrong here and he should have communicated better and talked about his grievances with Laios WHEN THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS IS THEY WERE BOTH ON WRONG HERE.

LIKE THERES A REASON CHILCHUCK BRINGS UP HOW LAIOS SHOULD WORK ON HIS SOCIAL SKILLS A COUPLE OF EPISODES AGO/JUST BEFORE THIS HAPPENS?

like I know most of you don't like it but social cues ARE a part of society culture. Social cues ARE a form of communication.

In fact they were made to facilitate communication.

They were made so everytime Alice and Bob annoy each other they don't have to go and have a heart to heart when a simple gesture can have the same effect.

In fact sometimes better because sometimes addressing something with words makes it come out stronger/ruder than it is.

And sometimes just like you have problems understanding social cues some people have problems speaking, finding the way to words their thoughts/feelings correctly.

Specially among strangers where you don't know the others personality or how they could react to your words.

That's where social cues, that are general rules the majority of people have agreed on, work. To facilitate convivence.

And yeah there's an argument to be said about how you are supposed to know them if they are unspoken rules and the thing is YOU LEARN THEM THROUGH SOCIAL INTERACTION, through living in a society.

Just like gender norms and the like you don't learn them in school during a boring lecture where a professor lists them on the board. You learn them through interaction and repetition, throught observing your peers. Just like learning to talk and walk and other stuff. Heck, your parents and other adults around are supposed to ease you into it.

And yes, it's not a perfect system. But nothing is.

The saying 'communication is the key' doesn't refer to just talking.

Social cues and other non spoken gestures are also another form of communicating. Equally as valid as all the others

There's beauty in talking and openly expressing your love to someone. Or your grievances.

But there's also beauty in grabbing someones arm or the you picking up your friend is uncomfortable due to the turnup of their mouth or the way they stand.

One isn't superior to other. They are supposed to complement each other

Laios and Toshiros mistakes were relying completely in one or the other instead a compromising and finding a middle point.

Toshiro should have expressed his annoyance at Laios.

And Laios should have picked better Toshiros signs of discomfort.

(All of this isn't even taking into account how they come from different cultures and shock it comes with it because others have talked better about it and I wanted to focus on this. On how even if they have from the same background Laios should have also been a fault.

Hell not only social cues even talking is affected by ones cultural background. What for me is normal could come out as rude for someone in Japan)

[runin-reads]

Trans James Potter headcanons

This is just me brain dumping for my current prongsfoot WIP where James is a stealth trans guy and how this would affect the way he navigates relationships and his place in society. I try to base my writing on canon text so let me know if anything is inconsistent with the books

Not much would change. I see Sirius as someone who genuinely doesn’t care for a guys physical traits when it comes to falling in love. He’s perceptive and can see past a persons facade in seconds. He sees James as just another guy and falls for him because of his character— anatomy be damned. So wrt to their relationship they’d still be obsessed with each other and fit into that ‘two bodies one soul’ narrative

Nothing is off limits between them so I imagine Sirius would be very involved in James’ transition. He helps him do his T shots and he’s always the first person to notice and be told when James goes through a certain change

James would be the type to identify as a guy his entire life. It’s established in the books that his parents were very doting and wealthy, so even though they’re elderly I think they would accept James as their son and he’d have the support available to transition early on. James would be such a different person if his parents didn’t spoil him as a child, so I want to keep that aspect of his upbringing no matter what.

the way he would view his trans-ness would differ greatly from the current generation. I imagine there would be a huge dissonance between him and the label “trans” because he’s seen himself as a guy for as long as he can remember.

His idea of masculinity would be very hetero-normative given the time period he was raised in. His parents were happily married his entire life and I think their relationship would influence how he imagines his own future to be like. He wants to be a father to a child and a husband to a wife, and he subconsciously decides that that is the way a man should be.

In Snape's Worst Memory it’s implied that James cared a lot about what others think. While he and Sirius are antagonising Snape James kept looking back to see if the girls (namely Lily) were watching. I think being trans would only heighten this urge to be cool and popular. He’d love the attention he got from girls because it affirms his masculinity and he’d put a lot of effort into maintaining his image

I’ve already written about how prongsfoot (james/sirius) is queer coded. To add to that, there are two possible ways by which James deals with his not-so-platonic feelings for Sirius. One, he accepts these feelings much more easily than he would have in canon because he’s already trans so what’s a little more queerness. Two, he denies these feelings, preferring to stick to the hetero-normative standards set by his parents and society. (Both possibilities are based on my own experiences as a trans guy so trust me, trans people can still experience internalised homophobia)

On a more lighthearted note he’s the type of guy to try to put a permanent sticking charm on his packer/STP device lol. Key word: try. Sirius would talk him out of it but he would at some point find a way to use magic to keep his packer from falling out in the changing rooms etc.

His confidence would only grow once T starts taking effect on his body. He'd probably brag about his bottom growth to Sirius which, unbeknownst to James, ends up flustering Sirius a LOT

He doesn't bind because even though puberty blockers weren't used back in the 60s/70s, let's just say Monty and Effie found a magical alternative like a potion for example

idk if the wizarding world has its own equivalent of gender affirming care and I highly doubt JKR ever wrote about it, so I'll go off on a limb and say James uses both muggle and wizarding methods to transition depending on what's more convenient for the plot of my fic

NSFW

If j/s did fool around I think James would be pretty bossy in bed lmao and he'd be very adamant that Sirius should avoid 'female' terms for his body and stick to words like 'cock' or 'front hole'

It would take a long time for James to be open to intercourse so uh they'd get very creative in the meantime

not an expert on magic but James would definitely find a way to like charm his packer so that it gets erect and he can continue living in stealth.

[party-gilmore]

absolutely wild learning about my austistic leanings later in life because like

my parents just thought i was “eccentric” and found me rather entertaining, weirdness and all (plus their own probably undiagnosed AuDHD making their benchmark for normal skewed anyway) and my mon specifically was always so “mever change for anyone just be you” from a very young age so i just…

never experienced the concept of masking i guess?

Not as masking, I mean.

i would read accounts from autistic people talking about their experiences and struggles and pressure to conform and masking and the mental effects thereof and i would feel empathy because i “went through similar issues” but i th

i thought i was just being bullied for being Weird. just in general. like kids do. that this was a case of “well this sounds a lot like what i go through, but im not actually autistic so it probably isnt my place to join the conversation.”

it just never clicked that, “um. hi. these are the exact same behaviors you do. and there were moments in your life that almost led you to masking. because thats what it would’ve been. masking. but your dumb ass thought it wouldve just been ‘changing how you act and who you are in order to be bullied less’ which okay TECHNICALLY yes that is an accurate if watered down description of masking too, but.

Then you refused to on principle, because bullying is bad and fuck you and got angry about it to the point of overcompensating and INCREASING your Behaviors (tm) until you completely skipped over one of the key experiences that wouldve helped you identify with other people on the spectrum later in life.”

I just rolled through life like a steamroller of righteous, spiteful confidence that my preferences and actions were nobody’s business but my own and vice versa unless they clearly and directly affected others - so much so that I never actually set any kind of benchmark pattern for the way (NT) people around me act.

So I never had a benchmark for masking.

like im going back through all my memories of friendships that soured because i took everything at face value instead of trying to read deeper into cues. because I would always just say what i wanted people to know, straight up. like if i wanted attention i would ask for it if i wanted them to know i was hurt i would tell them. That made so much sense to me i assumed that was the norm. Because clearly. Thats logical. and obvious. So certainly other people are doing the same.

I got blinsided a LOT by the games my school friends and later some early adult friends played, yeah, but AGAIN (see: steamroller of self confidence) I simply assumed that was THEIR problem, not mine, and just… grieved the friendship and hoped for their sake they’d eventually sort their shit out 🤣

I literally thought they were the ones having difficulty with social contracts and cues and relationships.

Then over the past couple years the more I see accounts from other people in the AuDHD spectrum, like “yeah neurotypicals actually [thing i had been assuming was just an asshole trait for years without questioning it], heres what they really mean and a good script for responding” and “its funny how i [exact behavior i did for years] and no one realized i was austistic till later” im like… 🙃

And the last kicker was the post about food touching with the tag response “sometimes masking your autistic traits ends up more autistic than the unmasked trait” and my gut reactions were, in order:

…why would you bother to mask that, why is the way you eat anyone elses business?

i mean i guess it would ease up the pressure a bit, i got bullied for that too, i can see how maybe you wouldnt want to have to put… up with…

…

oHHHH SHIT IS THAT WHAT IT WOULDVE BEEN. IF I HADNT BEEN SO ANGRY ABOUT BEING ASKED TO CHANGE. IT WOULDVE BEEN MASKING. IF I’D KNOWN WHAT THAT WAS. THIS WHOLE TIME.

its just… its just been a series of months of me shaking my head and realizing my entire life has been that meme like “Am I having difficulties connecting socially??? No, it is everyone else who is wrong.”

🤣 girl help

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: The Other Side of Disappearing by Kate Clayborn

4.25/5. Releases 3/26/24.

Vibes: true crime podcasts (critical), soft hero/hard heroine, complicated families, and dropping those defenses even when it's hard

Heat Index: 6/10

Ten years ago, Jess and Tegan's mother disappeared--with her con artist boyfriend Lynton Baltimore, made famous by a popular podcast. Now, the podcast's creator is on their doorstep with her protegee, Adam. They want to find Lynton; and Jess and Tegan could be their key. The last thing Jess wants to do after raising her sister on her own is go down this rabbit hole. But if Tegan is going, so is she; and as they unravel their mother's secrets, Jess finds herself more exposed than she's ever been before... and, even more horrifyingly, opening up to Adam (and his massive shoulders, perfect for crying into).

I was a little worried by the premise of this book. Don't get me wrong, it's a great idea--but was it going to be women's fiction? The answer: nope! This is a great example of how to write a book that has a big plot, and has well-developed characters beyond the two leads... while still being a romance. That's something that used to be way more of a norm, but I've noticed lately that it seems to have become all or nothing. You're either all focus on the leads, no plot and paper-thin supporting characters, or the romance gets crumpled up and it's women's fiction. (Which is fine! Women's fiction is fine! It's just generally not my thing.)

Trust Kate Clayborn to give you all the feelings about EVERYONE involved, along with a thought-provoking and twisty-turny concept, while never sacrificing the strength of the love story. I was so invested in Adam, a truly good dude who isn't without his own sore spots, slowly worming his way into Jess's heart. And Jess is simply a great heroine--wounded and tough and a bit angry but also desperately holding it together for the sister she's raised. I loved watching them fall in love. In fact, this is probably my favorite Kate Clayborn book so far.

Quick Takes:

--I am very vocal about finding a lot of good guy heroes boring, and that is because "good" often seems to translate into "perfect" or "completely toothless". Adam is a great example of how to write a good guy hero correctly. Kate Clayborn generally knows how to write about good people who aren't perfect and are compelling.

Here, Adam is essentially a gentle giant with great intentions in the long term... Who still compromises his morals initially. (Not for long! and I would say that she could've pushed him to compromise those morals for a bit longer, but I get it.) And he doesn't always handle everything perfectly, and he's not always smooth, and he's interesting and hot and kind of the boyfriend I feel is ideal without being PERFECT.

Also: his ears go pink when he's embarrassed, and he is definitely a bit embarrassed about his Bigness. Like, he's always bumping into shit because he's so Big, and that's embarrassing, you guys!!! This is. So important to me.

--I'm so into the Eldest Daughter Syndrome Stuff, as an eldest daughter. Jess and Tegan's relationship is so great, sitting in that space between parent and sibling, and at a really awkward point (as Tegan just turned eighteen). I found Jess deeply relatable, and her prickliness makes perfect sense... while still getting in her way.

Honestly, Jess's character growth is the type of thing I don't think heroines are allowed to do enough? It's introspective and difficult, and I absolutely loved where we ended up.

--There's a supporting character, original podcast creator/Adam's mentor Salem, who went in some really different directions. I kind of loved having a character who was like... not malevolent, but not wholly good, too? Who was selfish, and not an ideal parent, and a LADY?

In general, the commentary on true crime fandom stuff and podcasting is so good. I think we've definitely reached this point where true crime podcasts have really dipped heavily into exploitation. Of course there are good ones! But let us be real. I loved the way that she confronted this being both a story and Jess and Tegan's lives. And, in addition, how knowing that early on conflicts with Adam's sense of morality.

--As a random note... I've noticed recently that a lot of romance novels, even those by people I so love, have parents do some really shitty stuff, and then shove in this reconciliation with their kids at the end. I think this has to do with the need for an HEA. But like. You can have an HEA that involves acknowledging that your parent is shitty and doesn't deserve forgiveness. Trust.

All I'll say is that I really loved how Clayborn handled the parent stuff in this book.

The Sex:

Kate Clayborn always leans more towards the romantic than the explicit in her sex scenes, though they are open door. There are a few scenes in this book, and they're reeeeally sensual. I loved the way she wrote the dialogue during sex scenes, and like, the sexiness of Jess and Adam sneaking around on this road trip with her teenage sister right there. Ooh, it was hot.

Insightful, romantic, and challenging in some ways, The Other Side of Disappearing really impressed me. I already liked Kate Clayborn, and this only made me more excited about her future work.

Thanks to NetGalley and Kensington for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[head-empty-just-sigma]

hhhhhhmhmmhmmnnnnmmh Buddy Daddies is making me Think Thoughts and Feel Feelings

but i’m not gonna be doing any analyzing of the show or plot itself since 1. i know absolutely nothing about Japanese family/culture/norms/society in general and there’s plenty of amazing posts that talk about that already and 2. the show doesn’t really keep things hidden like a series like bsd does, so there’s not much to theorize about. so i’m not going to go searching for things that don’t exist in the story

however, what i am going to do is over analyze and look for things that probably don’t exist in the songs in the OP and the ED of the anime. yep. my brainrot is that bad

listen episode 7 did something to me okay

i think both songs symbolize Rei and Kazuki in their own ways, especially the OP since i think it encompasses both of them from the first to second verse of the song. the ED is where it really gets interesting, since for now it only really symbolizes one of them

🔺spoiler warning for episodes 1, 3, 6 and 7 and also basically the entire premise of both Kazuki and Rei's characters lol🔻

also long post warning. like, really really long post. i pulled out all the stops in my analyzing for this thing

The opening - SHOCK! by Ayase

fun fact Ayase is the vocaloid producer for the duo YOASOBI

So for this song I’m taking both the translated lyrics provided by Crunchyroll subtitles and the translation on the Miraikyun website I found while digging for reliable translation sources (I found… almost none for this song tbh). But I’ll include screenshots from the OP mostly for the first verse of the song that’s actually used for the opening of the anime.

So at first this song came off as lighthearted to me because the music itself is pretty upbeat and pop-ish, and while yes it is both of those things, the lyrics definitely tell another story of their own. The overarching theme is essentially the contemplation of what love is and what it means, and how the person singing isn’t able to understand love when they see it. They also don’t know what’s going on in another person’s head (who is potentially experiencing said love that the singer doesn’t understand). Immediately this makes me think of Rei’s character, in a couple of ways.

In his character PV it explicitly says that he’s someone who “doesn’t know love”, specifically using the character 愛 (ai) which is used for a more general type of love (could be family or other long-term relationships) and doesn’t necessarily have romantic connotations. This is a perfect example of how Rei, as a person, doesn’t understand the concept of “love” in general. It’s foreign to him, and it’s pretty obvious after episode 3 that he wasn’t raised as a normal child by his parents, he was raised to be a hitman by his father who wanted Rei to only refer to him as his “boss”. I don’t think I need to explain how much that would mess up someone’s perception of love in any sense of the word, and the anime actually does it for us by showing Rei as unfit for taking on a proper parental role in the makeshift family in the first few episodes. Hell, even in the beginning of episode 7 he seemed more like another kid in the house instead of Miri’s caretaker. He’s not used to being responsible for another human being, and it shows, but it’s because he genuinely has no idea about any of it since he doesn’t have any parental figure to base his standard of being a ‘parent’ off of. Kazuki is arguably the same in that regard, but he’s much more mature as a parent compared to Rei because he knows what it’s like to not have any parents or caretakers at all, and he wants to make sure Miri has good parental figures in her life so she doesn’t go through the same thing.

The lyrics in the first half of the song and the lyrics in the chorus can absolutely be used to symbolize Rei’s character here.

Rei does want to be a part of the family here, we solidified that in ep3 when he declared that he was Miri’s Papa. That was a key piece of character development for him, since before this we don’t see them interacting during the episodes as much as Kazuki and Miri do. So the lyrics about ‘wanting love’ is symbolic of him admitting to wanting to be a part of the family. The part about the city being ‘madly in love and excited’ is just how he sees things, since he was taught to never smile or really express any emotions for that matter, so everyone else is automatically more expressive than him. He stays home a lot to play video games nonstop and chain smokes through all-nighters when Kazuki isn’t there, and he also tries to go home before ultimately being dragged outside by Kazuki. The next few lines could symbolize how Miri entering his life turned everything he was used to upside down, and his perception of life is slowly being torn down by Miri as he learns what it means to love and be loved in a parental way. The chorus just further drives in the fact that he truly has no idea what ‘love’ is, literally saying ‘How the heck should I know?’, but also that he doesn’t entirely understand Kazuki and why he’s so adamant on being a good parent. The ‘I don’t know what’s going on in your head’ line is perfectly fitting for ep6 when Rei was questioning a lot of the things coming out of Kazuki’s mouth (same. ‘our genes’ bro what). He’s also dragged through shenanigans time and time again by Kazuki and despite his complaining, he goes along with it anyway. The line about being unfairly friendly could be towards Miri or Kazuki, since sunshine Miri accepted Rei as he is and she loves her Papa no matter how emotionally dead he is, but also because Kazuki is probably the only real friend Rei has (which is something I’m sure will be explored in a future episode. Hopefully). The last one is directed at Miri, since Miri is also able to drag Rei into playing with her and doing other things despite his reluctance (just look at ep3). However, he still very much acts like an irresponsible child and more like Miri's sibling that Kazuki also has to take care of, so he has a long way to go before he's any sort of model parent…

Kazuki on the other hand is 100% symbolized in the second verse of the song.

I will die on this hill because there’s literally no counter argument after ep7, where we are explicitly shown that Kazuki is clinging on to his past to his own detriment. He’s scared of changing because he’s scared of forgetting Yuzuko if he’s fulfilled by something else (his family). He also calls himself pathetic in ep7, connecting the line about laughing ‘at my pitiful self’. This part of the song truly captures how Kazuki feels on the inside for the first 6 episode and the majority of ep7. The chorus could be a bit different in regards to 'it's not fair that you're so friendly', since that could be directed at Karin because she wants Kazuki to be able to move on and be happy with what he has since she believes that that's what Yuzuko would've wanted.

The ending lyrics symbolize that changing and looking towards the unpredictable future is okay, but oh my god did the ending hit like a freight train after episode 7. Just. Just holy emotional damage. Oh. My god.

The ending - My Plan by DURDN

I was able to find a translation that was basically the same as the Crunchyroll one on Genius Lyrics to reference the second verse yipee but I also included screenshots from the ED itself of course

I cannot get over how impactful this song became as the ED, especially at the end of episode 7. It’s basically an entire episode dedicated to Kazuki’s backstory, which we were shown glimpses of back in ep1 for crying out loud. And oh my lord it did not disappoint, that’s for sure. Emotional damage for everyone. So much character development in one single episode. I just--it's just great. That's all I can say.

I love this image and it lives in my head rent free. Sleeping Rei is always 10/10

The song has a theme of accepting the future and that things are going to change, but that it’s okay because there will always be something consistent there, like a home to come back to every day. It also has a lot of references to love, like the 'I softly whisper a lullaby' and 'let's try to share our love together', which is symbolic of Kazuki as a father. It doesn't really have any romantic connotations at all, it's just wholesomeness. Plus 'I chased after you as you ran barefoot' is reminiscent of the few seconds in the OP where we actually see Kazuki running past other people going the opposite direction, and then following behind Miri with Rei at his side.

Also episode 7 really brings out the last 5 lines, from 'and it'll shine down on our sadness' to 'when the future is unpredictable'. That scene where Karin told Kazuki that he should move on and be happy with what he has because that's what Yukuzo would've wanted, and then the rain stops so the sun can come out and shines on Kazuki's new outlook on the future and accepting change... It's so fucking beautiful and symbolic. Not to mention it's taking place where he and Yuzuko first met, where she was his proverbial ray of hope when he was wounded in the rain, now the rain stops and Kazuki is able to see hope in his future with his new family. I just cannot express how impressive that is from a storytelling standpoint, and it's all literally just using the changing of the weather.

Also the line of 'maybe one day, you'll surpass me' could be referencing how Kazuki wants Miri to be able to have the things he never did: a family, stability, and that familial love. Kazuki is painfully self-aware that he became a hitman (and a malewife) because he grew up with no parents and had to fend for himself his whole life. He wants to make sure Miri never has to go through any of that, and have more opportunities that he never did when she gets older.

The ending song doesn't really fit Rei as a character, even in the part not used in the ED. The second verse is still very much relating to Kazuki and Miri's interactions day-to-day and him enjoying raising Miri, and knowing he'll be endeared by everything she does no matter how old she gets (like any other parent, I assume. idk I'm a Rei kinnie). But we know that Miri is changing Rei slowly, from ep3 when he begins to see what being a Papa means to ep7 when he learns that sometimes taking care of another human being can make you feel powerless in the face of a 'crisis'. Most other times we only really see him being a real parent to Miri when he's dragged into it by Kazuki, but ep7 showed him going from irresponsible second child of the household to going to Kyu-chan in a panic because Miri is sick and he has no idea what to do as a parent. Hopefully we get to see this built upon further in the coming episodes, even if we don't get to explore his backstory as much as we have Kazuki's this season.

[marinaslibrary]

Throughts on Downton Abbey since I've just finished season one (hopefully this will end up being a long thread filled with my throughts each season)

(apologies for any typos as this is a long post and English isn't my first language so they are to be most certainly expected)

1. Mary

I love Mary as a character. She's the perfect representation of a woman being bolder than the socially acceptable norm without however crossing the line between "bold" and "unrealistic for her time period". She is a proud character, proud to the point of making foolish mistakes something I much appreciate. It takes nerves to make your female main character do things that may make her unlikable to some viewers, and downton abbey still dares to do just that for the sake of a well fleshed out character development. Her interactions with Matthew as she comes to appreciate him as a person with spirit that matches hers is so very intriguing. *Spoilers*The fact that she falls for him after he helped her sister is such a key point to her character and so is her reaction to losing him.

2. Sybil

Not as much on that front as both Edith and especially her have been on the background for most of the season. Very refreshing to see HER being the political character opposed to Mary, as she is seen to be such a sweet and caring person with something akeen to childlike wonder and naivety regarding the way she navigates new situations.

3. Edith

I particularly adore the fact that Edith while making choices that absolutely make her unlikable to the viewers she never takes the "this character is evil. We will not give them very solid motivations to act that way, just believe that they hate the fmc, want her ruination and they are 100% the bad guy". No. She has reasoning behind each action and she plots and schemes in a way only a woman of her position in society could: behind the scenes through flirtation. Her parents role for her as a the "single maiden who will take care of us in our old age" is a fate worse than death to her and thus makes her envious of Mary. Her character is most likely to get a redemption I will be happy for.

4. Thomas and O'brien

Ah yes. More villains that are fleshed out. I'm absolutely certain Thomas will get a redemption since the war announcement will change everything. As for O'Brien I'm not so sure - what happened with Cora is most likely something that will make her character harder to redeem. Whichever is the case their duo switches between being hilarious and making me wish to punch them.

5. Matthew

I'd love to see more interactions between him and Mary but so far they match to the T the "so different yet so similar " trope. Both are stuck in their ways, bold, and highly emotional and their differences can be attributed to the different backgrounds they come from. Matthew is a noble character however when his nobleness mixes with prejudice he ends up appearing stuck up and snobbish - a fault he quickly corrects in S1. Just like Mary he plays his cards close to his chest till he takes liking to someone's character. Highly intellectual, passionate and proud as it's shown in the last episode. So excited to see more of him

6. General observations about the family

Mr Roberts and Cora are also such an interesting driving force both in the way Downton operates and as characters themselves. A great example of parents trying to do their best with some mistakes occuring along the way. Especially in the case of Coras contradicting character qualities between prioritizing being a good mother above all else (see : the way she helped Mary no questions asked) and her prejudice against mr. Bates a disabled man. Edith and them will most certainly have an angry confrontation later on. Much that has been said about Cora can be said about the Dowager. She is a proud, powerful woman and she knows it however by no means is she an evil character (as can be seen in the rose festival) and she'd throw away all her morals and honour in order to protect her family. She's HILARIOUS as well :)

7. General observations about the help

At first I wasnt sure about Mr. Bates and Anna as a romantic duo but now I quite like them! Still though I'd like to see more platonic relationships between men and women despite the difficulty of such a thing occuring at the era. Daisy despite being quite naive which makes it understandable as to why some viewers would dislike her is one of my favourite characters. When you consider her level of education and young age it makes so much sense why she's so easy to manipulate. William I unfortunately don't care too much for. Yes he is a good character undoubtedly, however compared to the others, his stereotypically noble and self sacrificing while yearning for the woman who wants the "bad guy" arc is not as captivating of a storyline. Mr Carson is one of my favourite characters no questions asked, if anything happens to him I'll be devestated I LOVE HIM. Same but in a lesser degree about miss Hughes. Miss Patterson is also such a hilarious and comforting character she has made her way into my heart:)

Overall impressions:

I love the show. I love how it doesn't just focus on the family as I expected but every member of the house gets a storyline. On top of all the aesthetics, the settings, the props are so beautiful and realistic it's breathtaking. I cannot WAIT to watch next season :)

[wanderinglotus7]

I appreciated reading this book. Another book about feminism, yet with a Black perspective. Not only a Black perspective, but from a voice of someone who identifies as a Fat Black Queer Woman. I don’t necessarily identify myself in that way, but I loved how this author spoke true on how she navigates in this world. Speaking the truth in acknowledging and embodying our intersectionality. Who knew there is such a thing called Trap feminism. If trap feminism means I can be me without giving 2 f**ks of what others think of me…sign me up!

I am a Christian Black Feminist Demisexual Woman who is intelligent, independent, compassionate, and adventurous who is also a counselor, a storyteller, an advocate, a prayer warrior, and a bookworm who loves her music and probably the realest person you’ll ever meet.

HERE ARE MY TAKEAWAYS:

“Generally speaking, Black people do have a higher tolerance for body fat on feminine bodies than other groups do. But thick and fat are not the same thing. White beauty norms will always find themselves a seat at the table, even ours, and that includes vicious fat phobia.”

“For those of us who are most marginalized, beauty actually becomes a tool that can be used to defend ourselves against racism, sexism, transphobia, classism, etc.”

“Multiple studies have concluded that Black women and girls have higher rates of self-esteem and confidence than other female groups. Confidence is waiting on the other side of choosing to keep it real with yourself, choosing to heal some shit, choosing to humble yourself.”

“Maintaining your standards means saying no to people, places, and things that don’t serve you.”

“Economic mobility is a bit of a myth in that it’s often dangled in front of Black folks as the key to a better life, but without context, nuance, or a blueprint.”

“Our bodies are heavily surveilled and our behaviors unfairly policed out of fear that we will misuse our sexuality. We’re expected to protect ourselves from abusers, and it’s us who are held accountable when we are abused. We’re denied the right to innocence before we’re old enough to know what it means.”

“Our own internalized anti-Blackness has led us to believe that Black excellence comes only in the form of heterosexual marriage, kids, and wealth building. Because our survival as Black folks in Westernized culture often depends on our ability and willingness to succeed under these moral codes, we’ve embraced those heteronormative, binary rules and incorrectly processed them as part of some natural order.”

“ The reasons and methods used to shame Black women for their choices in sex, dating, and relationships are endless. Black women can no longer afford to be martyrs, healers, parents, or scapegoats in our relationships. I’M NOT A THERAPIST, A BUSINESS MENTOR, A LIFE COACH, OR A CRISIS MANAGER. I AM NOT TAKING ON ANY OF THOSE ROLES TO DATE SOMEONE. I WANT A LOVER, NOT A JOB.”

“Friendship is how you get really good practice in empathy, healthy conflict resolution, and to build and be in community. It’s how you learn to appreciate community so that you’re not headed into your other relationships expecting one person to be your everything.”

[sowthetide]

I saw the words If, Joffrey and Girl, in your previous ask and immidietly thought of And bless the daughter but fuck the family by dwellingondreams on ao32 that I read recently. And it was CRAZY GOOD??! The Joanna-Cersei interactions goes so hard. Especially with the whole younger more beautiful queen thing taking all she holds dear thing I just know internally Cersei’s probaly like ‘That’s Oomf but I low-key hate her 😭😭’

And I have yet to find a good genderbend Jon fic myself 1) Most of them are not my taste writing wise and 2) Those that I think ARE well written have Jon like you said act like a feisty she-dragon-wolf hot maiden who is hot or she’s just an object of desires for the men around her and by around her I mean any living man in Planetos ( i once remember reading a story where 14 years old girl!Jon was getting married to Oberyn and girl!Jon was thinking about how she didn’t need to shave because she had found or made a salve that dissolved all her body hair?? FORVER!!! and I was like ???? Then I continued reading of course ) And I have nothing against exploring incest in fiction ESPECIALLY in asoiaf like bear found on bear island…. But the girl!Jon/Robb thing doesn’t really hit because I think gay incest will always be better than straight incest,,,,Exemples : Aegon and Orys. Aenys and Maegor. Aemon and Baelon. Rhaena and Baela. The maiden vault girlies during the later years #keepingitlegal. Aemon The Dragonknight and Aeg-[GUNSHOT]. Umm what was i talking about again??

I totally agree that for a genderbend to stick the character should still have at least trace of what their original gender counterpart has like why is Fem!Jon not sulking , throwing little tantrums, being conflicted and feeling guilty every waking hour of the day :( like please make her a little bit emo please please please-

For ME! for a genderbend story to HIT, the character getting bended must have a 1) An Interesting and Very Fucked connection to BOTH parents that the gender thing can only worsen and 2) Also a Also Very Fucked Not Good Kinda Bad What’s Wrong With You relation to their gender and patriarchal norms in Westeros. Again, it’s asoiaf so it doesn’t really narrow it down that much( Mommy/ Daddy issues + not seeing women as people? That’s every bitch like ??) but I’m going on the basis that u understand my vision of like : Jon = decent/good. Theon,Joffrey,Maegor = GO CRAZY GO STUPID€/&/@1@

(Also genderbends only work on way for me because why would I turn a woman 🥰 into a man 😐)

Just read "And bless the daughter but fuck the family" and uhhh... 😵‍💫 Okay okay okay. Perfectly insane genderbend. Give it a read, y'all (and tbh all of dwellordreams' fics go crazy, so check 'em out!)

Warning: mean opinions incoming. I'm a nice person usually I swear, I just also enjoy hating sometimes. Firstly, I agree that most Jon genderbends blow ass. Oftentimes, "Jon" just seems like a female author self-insert for someone who thinks Sansa is too girly/lame. Which I wouldn't generally have a problem with (we're all just here for a good time, and one man's unbearable cringe is another man's life-changing magnum opus), but it makes it hard to find genderbends that do interesting things with the actual character, rather than just inventing a female OC and calling it Jon.

"i once remember reading a story where 14 years old girl!Jon was getting married to Oberyn and girl!Jon was thinking about how she didn’t need to shave because she had found or made a salve that dissolved all her body hair?? FORVER!!! and I was like ????"

Oh my god lmaoooo. Beyond the ridiculousness of that, modern values in ASOIAF fics is more than a pet peeve to me, it's like a... man-eating tiger peeve. For instance, I quite like "Adjust For The Wind", as it's what inspired me to write Sow the Tide, but it also has a bizarre bit about women shaving their legs & genitals. Like:

Southern ladies are expected to remove all hair from between their legs.

&

“If you decide to groom between your legs using a razor or a knife, practice on your legs first. You can also use walnut oil, or bandages soaked in ammonia in a pinch.” Theon frowned. “I… see,” he parroted Mordane’s words. “And what do I use to keep myself clean… um, down there?”

Like literally what the fuck are you talking about lmao. To say that this took me out of the fic would be an understatement. I was so bothered by this that I tried to find actual published sources, but there didn't seem to be any particularly strong answers (besides that shaved genitals were more common among prostitutes). Also, for anyone reading, you do NOT need to clean inside your vagina, and your vulva (outside your vagina) should only be cleaned with warm water and a gentle soap if necessary. A strange place for me to make this point, but I'm making it.

I also tried a Jon genderbend fic recently, except fem!Jon had purple eyes and didn't look like Ned at all??? Despite that being a critical aspect of Jon's appearance??? I was just so completely flabbergasted because this author changed almost everything about Jon's appearance and personality, but somehow it's still supposedly Jon??? Like that's literally just an OC. Worse, of all things to keep, they stuck with Jon's canon age of 14 in a fic based around a romance with a 22-year-old man (Willas Tyrell). Maybe it's just because I'm 22 myself, but my immediate reaction was literally: "hm. I think Willas should be beaten to death." Like the fic itself felt tantamount to character assassination of Willas 😭 I was even bitching about this (wildly popular) fic on Discord:

I just hope to god the fic writer was a teenager, otherwise it seems like they just took GRRM's creepy handling of young characters like Dany at face value. Westeros obviously has different values, but it's concerning when the author themself seems to buy into those pedophilic standards.

GAY INCEST WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN STRAIGHT INCEST!!!!!!!!! 🗣️

lmaooooo. Also: "genderbends only work on way for me because why would I turn a woman 🥰 into a man 😐" <- REAL SHIT!!!!!!! You had me cracking up with that one.

Also also: "Aemon The Dragonknight and Aegon" SAY THAT!!!!!!!

Seriously. Let fem!Jon be a sulky, prickly, angry, kind, self-important little emo. Let fem!Theon be an ambitious, vain, insecure, proud, also self-important little bitch. A complicated relationship with one's parents is a plus, and a complicated relationship with Gender is a MUST! Bonus points if they're a crazy bitch in canon (Theon, Joffrey, Maegor, as you point out)!!! I've currently been thinking about fem!Maegor ngl... 👀

Anyway, thank you for dropping in. I'm probably gonna end up making a fun haterism server with goddcoward and some other homies, in addition to the more chill Quen sever. If that comes to fruition, join us in the silly complaint circle!

[vmures]

Today's musings are on the complex and fascinating bonds between humans and how those are viewed in various cultures. In particular, I want to talk about found family and my personal experiences regarding the topic.

First, I want to set the stage as to what larger cultural norms are at play for me personally. I'm a US American, generally raised in the South (though there were childhood years spent in the Southwest and Inland Northwest as well) who has, as an adult, largely lived in New England and the Mid-Atlantic regions of the US.

My bio family is...well the politest terms would probably be "a dumpster fire of generational trauma, dysfunction, and toxicity." Those relationships are complex and fraught with issues for the most part. I was fortunate to mostly patch things up with my dad before he passed and after he sobered up and acknowledged a majority of his fuckups as a dad. I still talk with my bio brother, and we love each other, but we're not particularly close these days. I haven't talked with my bio mom for twenty years. The only other person from my bio family that I'm close to is a second cousin who is only a year older than me and who was a dear friend to me growing up. Always felt more like a sibling than a cousin, to be honest.

Despite the lack of supportive and healthy relationships with my bio family, I have a wonderful found family that I've been a part of for more than twenty years. And the thing about familial relationships (found or bio) is that they are layered and complex, and sometimes it's easier to use shorthand to refer to relationships rather than a whole long ass story on how you are connected or, in the case of bio family, disconnected.

My found family is largely made up of a group of women and their partners, plus some of our extended friends. Most are in the same age range, with some variation. And we all consider each other family. For the core group, we tend to refer to each other as sisters, because that is the easiest way to explain our relationship to others. One couple tends to get referred to as the parental units of the group though we do not call them mom and dad.

One of the key reasons we end up using familial terminology to refer to each other is cultural expectations. These folks are my next of kin. They are the ones who will visit me in the hospital should something happen. It's a hell of a lot easier and quicker to say "sister" when visiting someone at the hospital, especially if someone is in critical care and only family is allowed. It was also easier when one of us had to go pick up one of the kids from school or something to be listed as their Aunt. People understand those relationship terms and it's shorthand to help you get through social situations without having to give a longwinded explanation of your relationship that makes you feel like the guy from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia with his conspiracy board.

Is this the case with all found families? No. Found families, like bio families, come in a wide variety of configurations. But I bet in certain situations, people do use shorthand just to bypass the cultural bullshit or restrictions that come into play (e.g. visiting someone in ICU). But I wanted to share my experiences and thoughts. Because I am getting a bit tired of some of the "stop using family terms for found family" dialogue. It feels a bit like a slap in the face and someone telling me that my lived experience isn't valid or real.

Like all such discourse, it is nuanced. I agree that people shouldn't police others' interpretations of things (i.e. tell someone they can't ship someone because they are siblings in a found family). But that is a different issue. One more related to people being unable to see that their interpretation doesn't supersede anyone else's--that there is no one true way to see anything. It's all filtered through our own experiences and views.

Human relationships are complex and varied across the board, and languages don't always have words to express those connections fully. English is fairly limited when it comes to words describing relationships. Add in that certain cultures, in my case US American culture, often favor some relationships more than others, and you have a bit of a mess that can make describing your loved ones and family challenging. It would be lovely if we could all keep that in mind when discussing these things. There are many ways to live your life and many types of families, found or otherwise. Maybe someone's experience is beyond your ken, but that doesn't mean it's less valid or real.

[jimkleban]

10 Goals for 2023

9 years of foolishly posting my annual personal goals. A look back at 2022 is here: https://at.tumblr.com/jimkleban/my-2022-in-review/muu9t9hu9fkh

Themes for 2023

The world is changing quickly with polarization, evolving norms, war in Europe, inflation, tech layoffs, and a looming recession. These are also very exciting times especially with what has been made possible by advances in generative AI. This year finds me happy to pour my heart into my work and looking forward to explore more of the world. 

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” -Ferris Bueller

10 Goals for 2023

1) Crush it as Head of AI at Supernormal

A new year finds me in a new role running AI at a startup called Supernormal. Supernormal is an AI-powered meeting assistant that automatically gives you detailed notes after your meeting. The generative AI space is on fire for now, and for a product like this it's a race to win. I'm excited for this role as a career step. It's a good fit for my background and skills, the team is great, and I'm finding in really fun to work at a startup. My goal for 2023 is to hire an AI team and deliver a great product.

2) Follow the muse with Infeather.

We are born to create. What we make are expressions of ourselves and sometimes in creating there is a sense of something calling us forward. A muse, if you allow it to be. Over the last year I've been building an AI-powered reader called Infeather. By crawling twitter and other sources it finds high quality articles for people to read on followed topics. My dream is for this project is to grow it further into something people can use day-to-day. The recommendations can expand beyond linked articles to include videos, forum threads, and posts. The goal this year is to keep going, following the muse, and make the reader better and grow the number of users.

3) Live abroad with the family.

In 2019, Elizabeth and I took the girls (7 and 4) on a year of travel where we stayed in Bali and Australia. We want to do something like this again before our kids grow up. I'm not sure if the timing for traveling again is right this year given our work, health, and family commitments, but ideally we'd set up somewhere in a new country sometime this year. We would find schools for the girls, work remotely, and spend our free time exploring. 

4) Respark the romance with Elizabeth.

My wife Elizabeth and I have known each other for more than twenty years, and we have been married for over thirteen. It's not always easy to find good, quality time for one another given our full time jobs and parenting duties. And yet, it's the relationships that matter most in life. My goal this year is to do ten amazing things together with my partner.

5) Develop the art of long term friendships.

One of the key predictors of long term happiness through life apparently is the presence of long term relationships. It can be hard to prioritize friendship when you a busy life with family and work takes up time and energy. Yet, it pays off in the end. I think there is a real art in making friends, and maybe it's mostly a matter of making oneself available. I want this year to be one for friendships, new and old.

6) Build 3 new AI apps as experiments.

I'm intrigued by what is possible with AI and it's never been easier to wire ideas up quickly. This year I have the goal to write three new (mini) apps. The ones I have in mind at the start of the year are a spoken language practice chat bot (using Whisper) for my attempt at learning French, a personal health assistant that helps build positive habits, and an oracle/therapy bot that helps you  reflect about what is happening in your life.

7) Get a couple of home improvement projects done.

Out of all of the things that I like to do, spending on home improvement is not one of them. As such, the house is in a bit of disrepair and there are a couple of things we want to make better. The goal is to land at least two of these house projects (even if it's just scheduling and coordinating contractor work) before we go abroad. This could be new upstairs bathroom fixture, a shed in backyard, and repairing the deck. I think these things can be fun and rewarding.

8) Get into the mountains.

The best part of the Pacific Northwest is probably the nearby mountain ranges with the Cascades  and the Olympics. These are wonderful places to explore and spending time in the mountains is also a great way to stay in shape, get tough. I try to have a physical goal each year, and this year I'll be working on adding strength exercises to my routine, but I think an even better goal will be to spend more substantial times in the mountains - getting out on a day trip at least twice a month.

9) Give up added sugar and fast food.

Health matters more as you grow older and I don't think you can keep bouncing back from treating your body poorly. This includes the diet. I've been blessed with a fast metabolism and I'm physically active, so I haven't had a reason to avoid eating poor food. I've done well in the past with giving up alcohol, but at times the cravings have just transferred to donuts and cheeseburgers. I feel much better when I don't eat these things. The goal this year is to give up added sugar, save for the occasional shared desert, and stop ordering fast food.

10) Break the phone addiction.

The iPhone was released in 2007 and changed the world. Like television, we both benefit and suffer from the adoption of the omnipresent computer in our pocket. The device and its apps are designed to be addictive, fueling profit, in ways television never was able to be. On the other hand, we also gain from having these tools. We own our phones and how we use them, not the opposite way around. The goal for 2023 is to change how I use mobile phone, through a mixture of behaviors, settings, and apps so I can demonstrably claim my phone serves me.

Closing

2023 has energy, legs to it. I feel happy, empowered. A lot is going to change quickly, so buckle up and take the ride. Here’s to what comes. 

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

I’m curious though if the cropped/I cropped were the other way round, and all the highly visible positions and people on stage were white men and the majority of the behind-the-scenes crew were women/people of color, would that be better? Obviously the ideal scenario is diversity in all sectors but for me personally there would be more of a concern if the higher-paid, more recognizable employees were all white, as the implication might feel like women & people of color belong out of sight. That’s probably because that’s how my own workplace is though, where white men get promoted and there’s a high turnover rate among the lower ranks who tend to be minorities. I’m a black woman raised by white parents, for the record, so again my pov might be skewed.

That's a really important question anon. I don't think your perspective is skewed at all - or at least everyone's is. And dynamics of employment are super complicated - so no one person's experiences are going to are going to be enough - it's why it's important to listen to a wide range of experiences and also people who have had an opportunity to synthesise experiences.

And key to understanding the range of workplaces that exist is understanding that 'visible' is a different category from either wealth or power. In a lot of workplaces they're going to be the same. They certainly are in mine (and it sounds like in yours) the highest paid and most externally visible people are those in leadership positions. In those circumstances, visibility will correlate with the norms of organisations in capitalist societies - which is white men (or the men from the dominant ethnic group in non-white societies - all my examples from now on are going to assume we're in a country with a big enough white population for white people to dominate, but obviously that's not the case everywhere) get promoted and the further down an organisation you go the more people there are who aren't white men.

But in some places visibility doesn't exist in this way. Retail is actually really interesting as a site of segregation - and is an example where you get something like the opposite of what you're talking about. Within retail you have shop staff, where visibility is part of the job, and also distribution workers - warehouse people and drivers. There are certainly examples of retail operations where who was allowed to work on the shopfloor and who was allowed to work in distribution roles are very different. In general, in those cases what you'd have is segregated employment in parts of the organisation - where marginalised people are hired for some jobs and not for others. The jobs might not pay that differently, but some will be visible and others won't. But then on top of those roles you'd have the actual powerful roles in the organisation that were well paid and they'd be limited to white men.

Entertainment is another area where visibility doesn't necessarily equate to power. The other important things to understand about a tour is that musicians who are not part of the act aren't paid more than the rest of the crew. You say "higher-paid, more recognizable employees" - but musicians aren't higher paid than other parts of the touring company - everyone will be well-paid, but the band aren't on a different scale f. It's like retail in that sense - in that being visible doesn't mean you're being paid more (and unlike acting - lead actors do have pay structures that are on par with writers and directors - and more than other crew members).

In addition, we know who the higher paid people are when it comes to a popstar - it's the people who get a cut. For tour the people who are going to get a cut are Harry, his managers, and the people who wrote the songs. When thinking about Harry's business more broadly it's worth also including producers, who won't get a cut on the performance, but are making good money more widely. Almost everyone who has ever had any of those roles on Harry's teams are white men. You've got Amy Allen with a couple of writing credits, and Jeff Bhasker who worked with Harry on his first album. That's it - everyone else who is making really good money from Harry is a white man. And that's Harry's choice - Harry has chosen to discriminate in the roles with money and power.

And so to answer your question - if an organisation is segregated in most of its employment, desegregated in specific areas and also segregated in positions of power and real money - I don't think it matters if the desegregated part is visible or not. To come back to the retail example - what's really depressing is that there isn't that much difference between Harry's musical business (all put together in hte last 7 years) and a 1960s British department store that let black people work behind the scenes, but not out front. You have many segregated areas, a few desegregated ones, and a tight hand on who is allowed in positions of power.

That's why in fan discussions I have always concentrated on just two metrics - the first is the workforce as a whole, and the second is people with the most money and power. It doesn't matter where the small number of jobs that are open to non-white men are - if the vast majority of the work and all the positions of power are reserved for white men.

[stardust-dragon8]

Anthropomorphic Klefki Lore/Worldbuilding! (Part 1)

Since I made the anthropomorphic Pokemon post earlier this year, I have been thinking about worldbuilding, but didn't know how to present it. But now the creative bug bit me and I have way too many ideas about Klefki, so much so that I decided to cut this post in three parts.

Part 2

Enjoy!

Ceremonial Keys

The keys that Klefki hold on their heads are only decorative. In the past, many Klefki communities had turned the acquisition of said keys into a significant celebration, known as key-giving. The standing of an individual can be determined by how many keys they obtained, and what kind of keys they collected over their lifetimes. Each community had different milestones worthy of a key and different designs for each key.

Key of Beginnings: Often the simplest design of all of the ceremonial keys, but no less significant, as it's an official acknowledgment that the bearer has finally reached the age where they could get a job - and more keys.

Key of the Warrior: Battling is one of the more popular career paths one can take (but not the most popular for Klefki). Unlike many other species, their magic doesn't lend well to all-out offense (I'm thinking that unlike regular Pokemon, that have defined moves, anthro Pokemon have general magic that is influenced by their species). Instead, they specialize in locking down opponents (figuratively and literally) until they can get a clean hit in, or otherwise are able to do something they want, like running away from certain defeat. Because of their tactics, Klefki can be frustrating for those who are used to more conventional fights.

Key of Service: Klefki communities are very tight-knit, and a lot of them encourage it's members to give back in various ways. From providing food and shelter, to cleaning up waste, all the way to leadership - if a Klefki spend a significant amount of their adulthood helping out, they will get this key.

Key of Metallurgy: This key is given to Klefki that work with metal in any capacity. Mining, purifying, blacksmithing and other branches of metalworking (including creating keys, ceremonial or not), studying their properties, and many others will qualify a Klefki to be able to obtain this key. Interestingly, since like their Pokémon counterparts, Klefki consume the minerals associated with metals, chefs who make metal meals are also considered to be metalworkers.

Key of the Entertainer: Entertainment in Klefki communities cover theater, dance, music, and other forms of storytelling. They especially love talking about the accomplishments of themselves or their families, with some embellishment sprinkled in for flavor (like the bard regaling the time they suplexed 1001 Feraligatr in one night while they were stuck in a swamp - take that story with a grain of salt).

Key of Legend: A key with only a few owners across the species. Unfortunately, what records of how it's obtained and who had one in their possession has been lost to the ravages of time. All that scholars have is that the key is given to those who performed a great feat, and even that is a theory.

In the present day, where seeing a multitude of different species in one place is the norm, Klefki still do key-giving, in a downplayed sense; instead of whole communities, a parent would pass down their keys to their children. These keys have a long history of being passed down through a family for generations, and are often distinct enough that one can tell which keys belong to which family. And sometimes, individuals would make their own keys to stand out from their peers, adding even more variety in the mix.

As a bonus, here's a few more Key of Beginnings designs.

[spikeinthepunch]

i always like talkin about mid 2000s design and clothing trends, as i have written a lot about frutiger metro as a key aesthetic for me as i grew up, and its lack of recognition as a 2000s design period outside of y2k futurism. my own fashion right now leans more on scene/emo but its not what i was able to wear, as a kid my mom would Not let me look like that. and now that im older i have been looking back more at fashion in attempts to dress in a nostalgic way- whether its clothes i did or didnt wear

i especially started thinking about fashion outside of 2000s scene, emo, goth, and rave when i just finished watching breaking bad and i think its predictable im talking about jesse here when i think about 2000s fashion lol. but i saw it all the time-- i saw the kinds of clothes girls were wearing and what the boys were wearing, that werent sub cultures like punk or scene. and thats the main thing i wanted to think about too, i wanted to think about what was the casual/norm overall. the most common trend, the clothes you saw most often in clothing stores

and when i started to think about it, one thing that hit me was Brands. not shirts for shows or bands, but brands of Things. i most recall clothing brands putting their own name on things, or brands associated with them doing so-- this *really* applied to clothing brands that associated with something else.... most frequently skateboarding or other sports.. i most recall when i think of clothes with names on them are Vans, Old Navy, Active, Affliction, Justice and Val Surf.

i actually find the masc line of Brand clothing to be most interesting because it cements pop culture and trends so clearly. skateboarding. sports. thats where so many brand names popped up and its what made people start to pay attention to the brands and not simply the clothing store (id its a sport brand and not like. old navy). its not like this has gone away- it still exists but i think feels different due to the changes of trends, and also the way people get clothes now too online. but i think it was a big boom at the time to see it because it wasnt really something people thought about.

the actual appearance of the clothes though is fun to see because it was part of whatever masc aesthetic seemed to exist right then. idk what aesthetic labels that ridiculous wikia would call it, but its a good ol mix of everything that is cool to boys/defined boy aesthetic. cars, sports, skulls, grungy imagery and textures etc. some of the design shapes remind me of 'tribal' design from around that time, or even crazy metal band logos lol (and hey, that was popular too. i imagine thats why that design look was popular in general).

the Cool fashion of the 2000s that i witnessed i and my brother (we're twins) were not allowed to indulge in. or we partially did what my mom considered okay. a lot of the stuff that looked cool was associated with teens, and for boys i saw that it was often associated even more with ~rowdy teens~. skateboarders had a representation in media or being rebellious and authority hating (sometimes druggies). and in general there was media that kind of encouraged this behavior (rebellious teen and all. i feel this started mid 90s). it is interesting looking back and seeing how those impressions (media + fashion) affected certain people's views on people who looked like that. it happens today still of course, but growing up it seemed very very aggressive to judge. popular trends spread really fast, faster than ever due to tv and the internet. the need to control media consumption got real big too because of that. loads of parents would see anything on tv or the web and not welcome the trend no matter what.

didnt mean to get off topic there. but i think even some of the most casual and common clothing trends of the youth in the early 2000s still have an interesting history that some may not really know unless they grew up and saw it develop. i may not have been allowed to wear certain clothes but i know how this went down because of that. i had the parent who thought baggy pants looked stupid, thought spaghetti strap tanks and short shorts were slutty, thought torn jeans made no sense, thought dyed hair was ugly, etc etc. but a lot of these things were basically the most common fashion to have too. and of course, now that i am independent and an adult i look back at all these kinds of clothes i didnt get to wear, and now i can. and i can do so with the ability to reflect on their conception too.