#geez what tf did i write this so long for?

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 438 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

God. It’s like every week, I get even more tired than the previous week. What has my life come to? I feel so dead inside.

Anyways, wooooo new chapter is here. Let’s goooooooo!!!

“DiD yOu JuSt HiT a CoP ?” Yeah mf. Call it “injustice” or a “crime”, IDC. Daniel gon beat yo ass GTA style. 😤

It’s ok Daniel, go get him!!!

*h e a v y s i g h*

. . .

PLEASE. EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND WHILE I… “TAKE CARE OF SOME BUSINESS”.

*stays in the bathroom for about 30 min*

I'M KIDDING... not really.

BRUH EVEN DANIEL IS NAKED? AROUND GUN??? This is dangerous. 😭😭😭

OHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYY GAAAAAAAHHHHHDDDD.... SIRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! THE WET HAIR THOOOOOO. 😩😩🤤🤤🤤🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

I def know what I want for Christmas this year... 👀

Santa would definitely kill me in my sleep...

N S F W M E M E W A R N I N G !!!

(If you don't wanna see the inappropriate meme, just scroll past it.)

God, my 😺 been quivering... What? I bet those of you who read Rendezvous would agree that you want him too. I'M LOOKING AT YOU!! READERS WHO'VE READ THOSE CHAPTERS ACTING LIKE YOU HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT, SMH. 👁👁 Don't lie.

Man, this is giving me mad inspiration to write again. Who knew that some steamy shower panels would bring me back to continue writing for that story? How ironic. 😅

YESSSSSS GUN BBG, MAN WHORE, DADDYYYYYYY. 🥰

DAAAAAAAAMMMNNNNN DANIEL, BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE FANCY FIGHTING SPINS!!! Also, "I'm gonna get punished severely when I get back." 🧐 Is Gun gonna make you give him 🧠 or nah? Like what?

BRUHHHHHHHHHH. DANIEL NOOOOOOOOOO!!! 😭😭😭

AWWWW BABY, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT. JUST CONTINUE TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL!!! 🥺🥺

Awwwww shit... Is this where I think this is going...? 😭

Hey Alexa, play "Lose Yourself" by Eminem.

OMG WAIT. HE DOESN'T LOOK THAT DIFFERENT FROM WHEN HE WENT CRAZY MODE IN HIS OTHER BODY!!! :O God, it's like the same demon possessed Daniel or something.

OK DANIELLLLL!!! I SEE YOUUUUUU, KING!!!! 😩😩👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

AYO, IS THAT JAKE'S OLDER BROTHER??? 👀 HOW TF JAMES LEE KNEW ABOUT HIM AND NOT EVEN HIS OWN BROTHER, JAKE KIM KNEW ABOUT HIM UNTIL TOM LEE MENTIONED HIM??? 💀💀💀💀

Geez, I'm starting to feel bad for Jichang. Like, ok Daniel, I get it. Your fight with Jichang started because you're trying to find out more about Jinyoung and all that, but... y'all can't just... talk it out? 😅 "Civilized folks" style? No? Ok.

Oh crap... that's not good. 😬

B R U H. THESE PANELS GAVE ME MAD GOOSEBUMPS. SHIIIIIT. I HOPE DANIEL'S HOMIES ARRIVE!!!! 😖

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I KNEW ITTTTTTT!!! I TOLD Y'ALL WTF. 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I EVEN KNEW IT IN THE LAST REVIEW HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I GOT PSYCHIC POWERS. 🔮

SEE???? I CONCLUDED THIS LAST WEEK WITH MY OWN WORDS, BRUH. CALL ME A... G E N I U S. ✨ (Actually don't. I'm still a dumbass.)

"Thanks. I almost died just now." 💀💀💀💀 Idk why I thought that line from Hudson was funny to me LMFAOOO. Just caught me off guard because I mostly see him being so serious all the time. Also, Jichang... don't underestimate Daniel lol. It'll be your downfall if you do.

I stg. Almost every chapter, Daniel always gets even more attractive. 😍😍

I always see people comment on how Daniel is turning more into Gun due to how he has improved in fighting as the story progresses. HOWEVER, I've never heard Daniel becoming James Lee before and I find that concept very interesting. I'm not sure if PTJ is leading Daniel towards that path of him becoming the new "James Lee", since he is a self-righteous character who seeks truth.

Even though I find this moment to be very cool, I worry that Daniel might create more enemies for himself and I hope he doesn't kill anyone then spiral into long-term guilt like James Lee.

God, I still can't get over the GUN SHOWER PANELS. AHHHHHHHHH!!! HIM... NAKED??? I MEAN, COME ON MAN. HE LITERALLY IS EXPENSIVE ALCOHOL WHO REALLY AGED SO GOOD. SO TASTY. SO DELICIOUS. SO SCRUMPT-DIDDLY-UMPTIOUUUSSSSS!!! CALL ME A CONNOISSEUR, BUT HE CAN BE THE YAMATO TO MY HENNESSY, WITH HIS HIGH PRICED SEXY ASS. 🤤🤤🖤🖤🖤🖤

If any one mentions him in the shower, yk Imma be "showering" down there. 💦

ALSO, WE NEED MORE SHOWER FAN SERVICE PTJ. KEEP 'EM COMING!!!

The correct answer is "Both".

They'd be amazing Calvin Klein models.

Anyways, BYE- 🏃🏽‍♀️

[communitypoolswimlessons]

last July I decided to record my thoughts on the miraculous ladybug movie

, here you go

(prepare for the most massive text block of your life)

Why is the lighting so harsh all the time????Marinette's speaking v singing voice is soooo. Different

AND WHY DID GABRIEL HAVE LONG HAIR AT ONE POINT BURN IT

And also? Why do they have a ginormous portrait of them in MOURNING CLOTHES.

careless whisper playing as chat takes ladybug's hand is the most correct ever

Also, Adrian is me coded fr

Chat is chaos incarnate

WHY TF DOES CHAT LEAP AWAY LIKE THAT

Adrian get your life together why does a girl make you smile this much you JUST met her

stHAP WHY DID THEY MAKE ADRIAN SO BBGGabriel????? Singing?????

STOP it right now (his whole villain song is sendingggggg meede)

You know what I love how Marinette loves her dad

Marinette's emo song goes hard

I know this is, like, a show about magical powers and whatnot but I really like how they show the destruction of the fight and how, even while helping, damage is done

DONT THINK I DIDNT SEE LUKA I DID I WAS CHEERING HIM ON IN ANY SCENE HE WAS IN

HEATHENS. ABSOLUTE HEATHENS. WHY MUST THEY BITE THEIR ICE CREAM

The banter as they fight is killing me oh my god

And before people ask who I ship in the weird love square, it's just the two of them with the banter ladybug and chat noir have.

IDK WHY IT GOT SO COMPLICATED BUT IT DID AND IM CONFUSED. they are LITERALLY the same people, different fonts.

*breath has been stolen from my body* THE WALL OTS LITERALLY FANFICTION WRITING ITSELF

Also, /gen, how old are they? Because I know in the series they're like 14-15, but in the movie the animation really does make them look younger idk. I think it's around the same?

GEEZE when Marinette claps back she does so brilliantly

$$$picture of dead spider, could have been spiderman$$$

If a) chat noir gets akumatized or b) they don't end up together I will riot I have seen both happen and I have already suffered!!!! I've paid my dues!!!

IM SORRY THE WHOLE HAND THING WHERE IT SHOWS THE PROGRESSION THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE I HAVE DIED DEAD OH MY GOODNESS I HAVE PASSED AWAY /VPOS

Chat is so goofy frOH MY GOD NO NOT THE DOIBLE DUMP SHUT UP AND SHOW YOUR SECRET IDENTITY ALREADY

Also the earbuds?? As a symbol for Adrian's mental state??? Pretty smart ngl

There's only half an hour left Marinette needs to stop singing and get this fixed!!!

Why is hawkmoth like that???? He went from some silly goofy villain with a dark past to me angst machine who only cares about joining his wife like, yes that's his motive in the series but it's much more sane? I guess?

NOOOOO CARLESS WHISPER IS HIS RINGTONE?????

adrian oh my god stop being angsty AND DO YOUR JOB

Plagg has my whole heart fr

Sad we didn't get to see a slow transformation for chat tho

the suspense oh my god stop it

THEYRE TOO YOUNG FOR THIS YOUR HONOR GET YOUR GRIMY LITTLE HANDS AWAY FROM MY BABIES

damn got them with the force

OH MY GOD THIS MAN KNOWS THAT THEY ARE CHILDREN AND DOES. NOT. CARE. LIKE SIR???

what the heck oh my god OH MY GOD THE REVEAL ITS TIME

literally only half of the mask is gone when he recognizes adrian this man needs to spend more time with his child.

If hawkmoth has a redemption arc I will be waiting in line to punch him. Take a number I will gladly do so. Just lemme at him.

How does his cat ears stay on?

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THE REVEAL

why is the wife not in her glass case she's gonna decompose!!!!

[gyuswhore]

Get tf ready im writing my own mika appreciation fic down here:

First of all THE JUN AND READER LOVEHATE BANTER IS CHEFS KISS 

Also love how even while reader is so upset she finds it within herself to tell him she’s proud even though he’s leaving HURTS SO GOOD 

HAO REMEMBERING THE CUTE DETAILS ON HER JEANS GOD ME WHEN and the recurring pink jacket kfjnakejfnkeajr

THE INFINITY SIGN THE FUCKING INFINITY SIGN MIKA I SEE YOU 

The brushes the touches the little innocent stuff IMKFVSKJNFGVSJIGF

‘it’s a little piece of you that Minghao is sharing with the world’ NOW WHY DID THAT HAVE ME BURYING FACE IN A PILLOW 

The argument before hao left I FELT IT IN MY SOUL shes so hurt hes confused its madness and then he LEAVES AND THE AIR IS LEFT HANGING TO MARINATE KSFVSFVM

Her feelings have been harboring for os long and you can FEEL it when she explodes bc oh my god it had me tearing up for my own distant brother (that i dont have lmao)

Also the pop showing up like an emotional crutch everywhere love the detail

YIREN BEING THE BEST BESTIE EVER WHERE DO I FIND A YIREN

The awkward car ride when jun and hao come back is so ofvjsofjgvsitgirbnrsigb like yes the angst the tension the unspoken misery

THE FIGHT™ i love how involved jun is like its not just reader and hao and their relationship like jun is in the mix heavily and he’s a major part of the readers story AND haos story together. Like that fight was enough brother sister bickering aspect and enough serious adult conversation with adult emotions and irritances like they’re growing. 

THE KISS THE FUCKING KISS IT HAPPENED OVER A POP AND THEN THE EMOTIONS SO MANY FUCKING  E M O T I O N S 

Also reader going that far to apologize we love to see healthy self awareness 

ALSO the apology to jun where everything just comes spilling out after and juns the wingman along w the members SAUR FUCKING CUTE THAT WAS SO CUTE TO READ AKFJVMKEFV 

Idk why but reader admitting she was jealous of BOTH hao and jun is so funny to me like real but how confusing must that be

AND THE LETTER. THE FUCKING LETTER. Im gonna sob reader is so me making him swear to read it when shes not around LMAO

JUN APPEARING DURING SEXYTIME I LOVE THAT 

AND THE OTHER FUCKING LETTER????? THEY GAVE  E A C H  O T H E R  LETTERS/??????? excus e me while i cry sob scream shriek 

AND HE TOLD HER NOT TO READ IT IN FRONT OF HIM HAO YOU FUCKING CUTIE IM GONNA EAT YOU SKFNVSIFNVW

“P.S. I love you.” IM KAFMVJAF okokokokokokokokokokokokok its fine im fine im so okay im so fine imefnvenv

OK LEMME BREAK DOWN MY FAVOURITE BITS:

The infinity sign i ofnvwienvwioevwt idk why i love it so much it basically means his signature symbol that defines him as an artist came to be when he was WITH HER so he basically carries a part of her with him whenever hes known with that 8 infinity sign GOING TO CRY ACTUALLY 

The tiny lil innocent touching and brushes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFKMAFMAFHAhaahahAHFJAFHAR im okay they sseem SO FUCKING INTIMATE LIKE IJAFNERIGN JUST FUCK EACH OTHER ALREADY GEEZ

Somehting about jun being such a constant in this and not a side character for the sake of the trope like he’s part of readers life and her decisions and her feelings and a PART OF THE STORY than excess piece of information and i LOVE how jun as her brother is her first concern when alot of these things happen despite liking hao like girlie has priorities set in this regard which is hard to find in fics like this honestly (i mean it helps that jun isnt an asshole brother but you get me) also i dont have a brother of my own and so i kinda felt like. Oh. this is what i want my relationship to be like witha a brother too. Like i always read them as they fucking hate each other and the second friends get involved it all goes to shit and so it was so nice to read in this context ykyk

Personally people who bond over food are just so aofekfakjfnakejf like idk i love it so much like YES lets share this cupcake i made with love while we talk to each othe about whatever this cupcake holds a ground for our conversation and our bond and thats FUCJING BEAUTIFUL 

Speaking of bonds I LOVE how reader and hao actually have things in common to bond over and it isnt just plain attraction like the radiohead the pop the cupcake (jun lol) like its like. Idk i just like how it it feels like they’re friends that trust each other before they’re anything else  

the letter — x. minghao x reader

i hope one word, one letter, will laugh and cry with you (the letter / ateez)

description. in which you’re jun's little sister and have been pining for a man so close yet so out of reach for ages. now, years later, when you see minghao all grown up, famous, and still making your heart flutter, you're not so sure what to do about your not-so-little crush.

genres. smut (18+), slowburn, fluff, angst, childhood f2l tags. idol!au, alcohol consumption & underage drinking, lots of arguments, oral (f receiving), Lots of pent up emotions oops, miscommunication, sorta hot headed reader, minghao is minghao and that is a warning enough fic playlist. w/c. 26.3k a/n. i had so so so much fun writing this! huge thanks to @gyuswhore bc em literally helped me through every step of the way & sat through me planning & switching around the events of the story a bajillion times, and thank u to @honeyhypen who read over this for me ^-^ now this is a weeeeeeee bit long and if ur here for the smut uhh idk what to tell u it's at the end but i highly suggest reading the fic first bc i think it makes it like 349784 times better >_< if u like this, pls comment & reblog, it'd mean the world to me hehe!

ENVELOPE

To: Xu Minghao

“Why are you in my room?” Jun huffs, turning around to look up at you as you stand by his door. In front of him is a massive, yet unfinished LEGO replica of Hogwarts. You frown, glancing at his friend who lays on his bed with a phone up to his face.

He’s Jun’s new friend, and you’ve heard your brother talk about him but this is your first time really seeing Minghao in the flesh. Shaggy hair hangs loose over his dark eyes as he peeks over his phone and glances at Jun, as if to silently ask who you are.

“Dad says dinner is ready,” you tell him, feeling a little timid under the gaze of the new boy. He’s only two years older than you, but the only interaction you get with high schoolers is your brother, so you’re feeling shy. He’s a very nice looking boy, you think to yourself, but try hard not to stare as Minghao uncrosses his legs and sits up on your brother's bed.

Jun’s eyes soften when he notices you standing awkwardly, standing up and pointing at you as he says your name. “My sister—two years younger,” he explains.

“One point five, actually,” you correct him with a roll of your eyes, feeling more comfortable now that Jun is initiating something. Your brother laughs at you and ruffles your hair while Minghao stands up behind him.

“Ya-da, ya-da. You’re still two grades below, so it doesn’t really make a difference. Anyways, this is Minghao,” he says, pointing at his friend behind him who throws you a small smile and wave.

“I know,” you blurt out before you even have a chance to think, heat flushing to your face after you realize what you said and see Minghao give you a funny look. “I-I mean because Jun talks about you a lot,” you clarify, clearing your throat. “Y’know, he doesn’t have a lot of friends so when—”

Jun clamps a hand over your mouth and gently drags you out of the room as Minghao follows behind closely with silent laughter. “That’s enough from you. Watch it, or I’m never letting you talk to my friends again.”

“Friends? I think you mean friend,” you retort, looking back at Minghao who watches the two of you amusedly. “Are you sure you want to be friends with someone so mean to his sist—”

Jun flicks your forehead and you push his chest. “Shut up already! If you scare away all my friends, all I’ll have left is you, and you’ll just have to put up with me all day!”

“You’re right about that,” you say with a heavy sigh as you all make your way to the dinner table where your father has set out a meal for the three of you. Putting your hands up in defeat as you sit down at your spot at the middle end of the table, you glance at Minghao who takes a seat with Jun sitting between the two of you. “I guess I’ll back off for now.”

Jun scoffs. “You better.” The three of you laugh together.

Yiren rummages through your closet, and you frown deeply. “Hey! You better clean that up,” you warn, rolling off of your bed and onto the floor, lazily standing up.

“I’m helping you pick out a nice outfit! You said Minghao is coming ri—” You scramble to your feet to slap a hand over Yiren’s mouth, eyes wide.

“Shut up! My brother’s room is right there—he might hear you!”

Yiren rolls her eyes, nudging your hand off her mouth with a huff. “Oh my god, don’t tell me you haven’t told him yet.”

“What?” you narrow your eyes at her, grabbing one of your bras that she threw onto the ground and stuffing it back into your closet. “You thought I was going to tell Jun that I have a crush on his best friend?” you half whisper, half yell.

“Uh, why wouldn’t you? You’re seriously missing out on your chance to have him help you get with Minghao.”

You scoff, looking down at all the clothes strewn across the floor. “Have you met my brother? He would flip if I even mentioned being with a guy, let alone that guy being two years older and his friend.”

“You don’t know that,” Yiren retorts, throwing herself onto your bed leaving you to clean up the mess she made.

“Yes I do. This is how I can tell you don’t have any brothers …”

“Well if you never make a move on Minghao, how are you ever going to get him? You gotta start somewhere, and maybe your brother is the first nut you gotta crack to get there.”

“If you haven’t noticed, I haven’t exactly planned on making any moves,” you mumble, reaching down to pick up a cute pink jacket you haven’t seen in a while.

“Uh, why not?” Yiren piques, sitting upright on your mattress.

“Excuse me, have you looked at Minghao?” you groan, slumping against your wall with the jacket in your hands. “He’s so … cool, and popular, and handsome,” you gush, and Yiren makes a disgusted face.

“Uh, no, sorry I don’t fawn over your future husband, so I don’t really look at Minghao but—”

“And he’s going to be a senior! Why would a senior ever go for—” you look down and gesture at yourself, “—me.”

“You’re seriously downgrading yourself—you know you’re a catch.”

“Yeah, not for someone like him,” you snort, flopping down onto your bed next to her. “It’s whatever, it’s a stupid crush anyways.”

“Yeah,” Yiren says flatly. “You’ve only been crushing on him for like three years—hey! Don’t hit me!”

“Then stop saying this stuff,” you groan, throwing a pillow onto her head.

“Okay fine, I’ll stop. So are you going to wear that?” she asks, pointing at the jacket you left at the foot of your bed.

“Yeah, I think I will. It’s cute right?”

“Mhm … bet Minghao will totally like it and—”

“Yiren, shut up,” you giggle, pushing her again as you roll off the bed. “Okay, so the pink jacket and these jeans?” you ask, picking one pair off the ground and holding it up for her to see.

“Mm, no,” she says while shaking her head, standing up to join you as she looks at all of the clothes she threw across the floor. “Let’s see …” she hums to herself.

“Yiren,” you say with a laugh, “I think you’re putting more thought into this than me.”

“Well I can’t just let my best friend be single and lonely for the rest of her life! If all you do is sit around and listen to Radiohead, you’re going to end up being sixty-five and alone in some cottage in the woods.”

“Hey! That actually seems pretty peaceful,” you try to object, but Yiren narrows her eyes in your direction.

“Okay well,” she drawls out, putting her hands on your shoulders so you’re right in front of her, “Imagine being sixty-five and living in a cute cottage in the woods with Minghao. Sounds better, doesn’t it?” You can’t help the giddy grin that makes its way onto your face when Yiren says that, and she punches your shoulder lightly when she notices. “See, you do want that! So just listen to me, okay?”

“Okay, okay, fine! Just tell me which jeans to wear.”

She looks down, picking through the denim before pulling out a light blue one with little flowers embroidered on the pockets. “Look, this is cute. It’ll match with the jacket.”

You nod along, not questioning her because as far as you know, Yiren’s fashionable instinct stretches much further than yours and whatever she says about this must be true. As you change from your pajamas  into your new, curated outfit, Yiren sits back on the bed and grins widely.

“Looks perfect on you. Minghao will love it.”

“You think?” you pique, looking at her with bright, beaming eyes.

She winks at you and you jump up and down on the balls of your feet at the excitement. “I want at least 25% of whatever you get from your wedding gifts. You both will owe me big time.”

“I’ll believe it when it happens … Anyways, you ready to go? Let’s wait downstairs and get some pop while we wait for Minghao to come,” you suggest, Yiren agreeing with a nod as she bounces behind you. Jun, it seems, is still in his room waiting for his friend, so you stick your head through his door. “We’re going down to snack a little. Wanna come?”

Your brother shrugs, pushing himself off his swiveling chair to join you. “You know if we still have those cupcakes? The ones you made last week?”

“I think we have a few left. Why? You liked them?” you exclaim happily, turning around to face Jun as the three of you settle in the kitchen. You reach for a box you kept on the island, popping off the lid to show him.

Jun grins and pulls one out and you offer one to Yiren who stands beside you. “‘course I like them,” he says with his mouth stuffed with cake and cream.

Yiren, shooting a look of disgust his way, says, “Ew! Please don’t chew and talk, that’s gross.” Jun rolls his eyes at her as Yiren stuffs her own face with the cupcake, sighing as she digs in.

“Whatever,” Jun grumbles after swallowing it down. “They taste really good, you should make them more.”

Yiren nods, tapping your shoulder, “Agreed. Send me the recipe too,” voice muffled as she continues to munch down on the cupcake.

“Didn’t you just tell me not to eat with my mouth full?” Jun mutters, crossing his hands over his chest. You laugh at the banter and suddenly you hear the doorbell ring, ears perking up. “That’s probably Minghao—I’ll get the door.”

As your brother makes his way down to the foyer, you turn to look at Yiren. “I would give you the recipe but I don’t want to be the reason your house burns down. Seriously, remember the last time you tried baking and—”

“Oh my god, is the recipe what you’re thinking about right now? Minghao is just about to come—offer him a cupcake! Show him your amazing baking skills and show him what a good housewife you can be!”

You give your best friend a look of bewilderment. “What the hell Yiren,” you groan, slapping your hand on your face, trying to hold back your chuckles. “Okay, I’ll give it to him but only because I want him to be impressed. Not because I want to submit myself to misogyny for the sake of a man.”

“Okay fine but—look!” she exclaims in a hushed whisper. “He’s here!” You immediately straighten your back and smile when Jun walks back into the kitchen with Minghao. He’s wearing some loose jeans and a black hoodie, his hair longer than before.

He says your name when he sees you, throwing up a wave and a smile. Minghao then glances at Yiren with a blank stare, pursing his lips together. Yiren chuckles nervously and clicks her tongue while pointing at herself. “Yiren.”

“Ah. Hi Yiren,” he says politely.

“You guys want some pop?” Jun offers when he opens up the fridge. Yiren, Minghao, and you nod happily and respectively call out your choices.

“Sprite!”

“Cola!”

“Cola!”

Jun juts his lip out in a pout when he turns back to the three of you. “I wanted Cola too, but there’s only two left.” You’re about to furrow your brows and tell him that it’s okay, you don’t really want any, but Minghao speaks up before you.

“She can have the Cola, I don’t mind,” he says casually, grabbing one can from Jun and handing it to you with soft eyes. “Here.”

“Are you sure? I don’t really care for the difference between Sprite and Cola and—”

Minghao chuckles and shakes his head, and you think you might just pass out when your palm brushes against his knuckles when he eases the cold can into your hand. “Seriously, it’s fine,” he tells you. You glance at Jun and Yiren who are busy opening their own cans, turning your attention back to Minghao.

“Thank you … Uh, do you want a cupcake? I made some a while ago and we still have some left,” you offer, holding up the box to him.

“It’s the last one. Are you sure?”

“How the tables have turned,” you laugh, and Minghao cracks a bright smile at that and holy crap, if you weren’t so busy trying to keep your composure, you’d be freaking out over how handsome he looks when he smiles. “‘course you can have it. I’ve had plenty of them,” you admit sheepishly as he reaches for the cupcake and brings up to his mouth.

“Holy shit. I don’t blame you for eating a lot—if I had these in my house they’d be gone in like an hour.”

“Right!” Yiren agrees, and you can’t help but chew on your bottom lip when you smile from the praise.

“Guess this is just a sign for you to make more, huh,” Jun says, walking to stand next to you to lean on your shoulder.

“Uh-uh! You gotta reimburse me somehow,” you protest, looking up at your brother with a firm expression.

“Please make more, they’re really good. I’ll buy you boba if you make more,” Minghao chimes, and it’s safe to say you don’t expect it from the way you cough on your own saliva. Yiren laughs at your reaction, and Jun only looks at you weirdly when you nod in agreement.

“Oh, so you’ll make cupcakes when he asks but not for your dear older brother?”

You roll your eyes, saying, “He offered to buy me boba! You know I can’t turn that down.”

Jun huffs in faux irritation, digging his hand into his pocket to fish out his keys. “Ya-da, ya-da. Anyways, would anyone other than my super fake, mean, evil sister like to go to karaoke now?” he asks playfully. All it takes is one glare and pulling on his hair for a few seconds to have him shouting out apologies as the four of you make your way to the car garage.

The ride to the karaoke place is short with Jun in the front and Minghao sitting in the passenger seat next to him. You and Yiren pile into the back, and the three of you scroll through your phones to decide what songs to sing later while Jun drives.

“I get to sing Creep, right?” you ask excitedly, bouncing up and down in your seat.

“How’d I know you were going to bring up Radiohead,” Jun mutters, pressing his head back into the head rest when he stops at a red light, while Minghao turns in his seat to look back at you with wide eyes.

“You like Radiohead?” he asks with a small smile.

The corners of your lips are lifted and your face brightens when you nod vigorously. “Yeah I do!”

“I think ‘like’ would be an understatement. I’m like 99% sure Thom Yorke lives in her skin or something because what she has for Radiohead is a lot more than just ‘like,’” Yiren says.

“No way, I love Radiohead,” Minghao tells you. Holy shit. So Minghao is attractive and nice and smart and pretty much perfect at everything and he enjoys Radiohead? You might go insane.

“Really?” Your eyes are wide with your jaw hanging open, leaning forward in your seat.

You hear Jun groan from the driver’s seat, and both you and Minghao shoot him a dirty look. “I forgot both of you are obsessed with Radiohead. Seriously, could either of you get more emo?”

“If you weren’t driving right now, I’d strangle you,” Minghao says bluntly before looking back at you. “Anyways, what’s your favorite song?”

“Junnie, please, can you put on Creep now? You know I’ve been waiting forever,” you plead, holding your hand out to the microphone that’s in your brother’s hand. The room is dark and lit up with red and blue LEDs across the border, making the room glow purple.

“But I want to sing another round of Taylor Swift!” he protests, pointing at the big screen in front of you while clutching the microphone close to his chest. You scoff, poking his side. “You know I’m not ticklish, so that doesn’t work.”

“You’re not ticklish? How?” Yiren exclaims, looking at Jun with wide eyes.

You turn to squint at her. “He’s weird. I thought we already established this.”

“Hey!” Jun whines. “See this is why you won’t be getting to sing Creep tonight.”

“Jun!” you cry out, and you’re about to pull out a string of complaints and curses, but then Minghao is stepping in, pointing at you.

“Put on Creep. She’s been asking for a while and I want to sing it too,” he says. Jun is quiet for a moment before sighing and handing you the microphone which leads you to puffing up your chest and smiling proudly.

“Thanks,” you chirp gleefully, as Minghao holds his own microphone up to his lips.

When he smiles at you, it’s kind and sincere in such a way that it has your heart swelling under your pretty pink jacket. Minghao coolly points at Yiren who sits by the control tablet. “Creep. Hit it.”

The air inside your house is warm as you skip down the hall and down the stairs. When the bell rang the first time, you thought it was just some package but when you hear it ring twice, you think otherwise.

When you peek through the little peep-hole, you jump up and down on the balls of your feet, a mix of excitement and nerves pools at your stomach. You open the door and Minghao shuffles in front of you at the doorstep. You haven’t seen him in a few weeks, and his hair looks shorter. “Did you cut your hair?” you ask the seventeen year old as you move to the side so he can step in.

“Yeah, it was getting in my eyes too much,” he tells you with a nod, a small puff of vapor coming from his lips. It’s cold, and you hear him inhale a breath of relief when you close the door behind him. “Thought the door was never gonna open. I was freezing my ass off,” he says, unwinding the brown scarf from his neck.

“‘m sorry,” you reply sheepishly as he takes off his shoes, following you through the foyer. “Jun didn’t tell me you were coming so I was in my room. He’s still out with my dad, but he’ll be back soon.”

“That’s fine.” Minghao shrugs off his puffer jacket, placing it on the coat rack while you make your way to the kitchen.

“Do you want a drink? It’s cold outside, so I can make some hot chocolate. Jun got the nice kind from the cafe down the street.”

“That’d be great, thanks,” he says, sitting down at one of the stools in front of the kitchen island as you take out some milk and hot chocolate powder. It’s silent, and you chew your lip while thinking about how this is the first time in a really long time that you and Minghao have been alone together.

Nearing the end of his twelfth year in high school and just like the first time you met him, he’s as enticing as ever. Dancing competitions with Jun, left and right, smart and respectful with the teachers, popular among the students—you're lucky you get to talk to someone as cool as him, even if it is only on the account that you’re his best friend’s little sister.

“How’s high school?” he asks casually as you boil some milk over the stove.

“It’s alright … English is still hard as ever,” you admit, dropping the powder into the frothing milk.

Minghao chuckles softly when you turn around to face him, and a small smile makes its way onto your lips. “Yeah, it was never my strong suit either. You still friends with … what’s her name? Sorry, I’m not good with names—the girl who lost her voice at karaoke when she came with us?”

“Yiren?” you giggle softly, recalling the memory. “Yeah. Still friends, still as loud as ever,” you say with a sigh, mixing the milk as it turns light brown. “How are things with you? Jun’s been telling me the dance practices you guys have is pretty intense. He always looks like he could eat a horse when he comes home.”

“That’s good to hear, and yeah, it’s all going good. It is pretty tiring, but it’s a lot of fun,” Minghao replies, stretching his arms behind his back as you pour out the hot chocolate into two mugs, bringing it over. “Thanks,” he murmurs, grabbing from your hand sitting down at your regular spot, one extra chair seated between the two of you as always.

Arm’s length, you think for a moment, before shaking yourself of the thought. “I’m sure the practice is paying off though—seems like Jun is always talking about some new kinda competition or something.”

“Mhm,” Minghao hums, taking a sip of the hot cacao. “This is really good, thank you,” he says with a soft smile, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel some sort of giddiness erupt in your stomach. “I think … I think we can really take it somewhere—our dancing.”

It’s a sparing thought that Minghao and Jun’s dreams are far beyond yours, and you have a bit of a difficult time trying to understand what he means by somewhere and if that somewhere includes you or not.

“You’re going to Korea?” your eyebrows furrow as you glance between Jun and your parents.

“Nothing’s finalized yet—” your mother says, but when Jun’s eyes flicker between you and the ground, you already know that this is set in stone.

“Yes it is.” Your voice is small when the words come out. “You—” you take a deep breath, “—you’re going.”

“Not now, of course,” your dad says, patting your back as he stands up, your mother following suit. “Talk for a few minutes, yeah?” he says as both your parents walk out. When your whole family walked into your room ten minutes earlier to tell you they had big news, you weren’t sure what you were expecting, but it certainly was not this.

And now you’re sitting with your brother on one end of your bed while you’re curled up against your pillows on the other, unable to meet his gaze.

“When are you going?” you ask quietly, finally breaking the silence.

“August.”

“That’s in a month and a half,” your shoulders deflate as you say it. “How long?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.” You bury your face in your hands in hopes that it’ll muffle your cries. It doesn’t.

Jun scoots over to you quickly when he sees your shoulders shake, one arm going around your back to pull you close to his body, but you still can’t bring yourself to look at him. “How are you going to do it?” you blubber as your brother pats your back. “You can’t just go to a whole different country alone and—”

“I won’t be alone. Minghao is coming with me,” Jun tells you quickly. Now that brings your head up. You don’t care that your nose is snotty and that your hair is all over the place and that your face burns, you just need to see the look on Jun’s face to see that he isn’t messing with you.

The way his own eyes are glossy gives you your answer. “Y-you both got accepted into tha-that company?”

Jun nods. “We applied together.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were applying? I-I would’ve understood. You could have given me more time to process this and—” You look down at your hands, “Fuck,” you mutter to yourself, not finding the words in your throat.

“We didn’t even know if we would get accepted. Me and Minghao promised each other that we’d only follow through with it if both of us got in and we didn’t think that there’d be a high chance of that because it’s so competitive … I only told Mom and Dad because until we got the acceptances, I really didn’t think it was going to actually happen.” You gulp at his words, trying to let it all sink in.

“I think … I think I just need to go on a walk. Take a breather, y’know,” you mutter under your breath as you stand up. Just as you're about to walk away, you stop yourself, looking back at Jun who stares down at his hands. You don’t think twice before wrapping your arms around his shoulders and hugging him tightly. “I’m really proud of you,” you say quietly before rushing out of your room and down the stairs.

You shove your feet into some slippers in the foyer, rushing out onto the street soon after. You aren’t sure what you’re doing or where you’re headed, but you continue to trudge along the sidewalk until you’re walking down the main road.

The summer air is hot and stuffy, and you wonder if you feel so suffocated because of the sun’s onslaught or because of thoughts that run through your head. It’s surrounding you, breathing it in, it fills your lungs, courses through your veins, rushes to your brain—you don’t know what it is, but it’s uncomfortable and has you dizzy and your vision foggy.

You lean against a thick lamppost next to you, hands on your knees as you knit your eyebrows together as sweat beads down your forehead. What the fuck, you think as you breathe in through your nose.

You hear your own name bounce around in your head, and the sound only grows louder and louder until you’re muttering under your breath, telling yourself to shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. And there are tears in your eyes but you furiously wipe them away because while you don’t mind crying, you do mind crying if you don’t know why.

And fuck, there’s that voice again, your name echoing over and over again until it’s growing lowder and ringing in your ears. You think you might start crying again until the voice sounds familiar and you’re whipping your head up and standing straight when you see a car pull up to the curb next to you.

“Fuck my life,” you mumble to yourself when you see Minghao in the driver’s seat of the car. He rolls down the window and god, he looks so pretty with his hair back and upper body fit into a loose yellow shirt.

“Hey, what are you doing?” he asks you, brows pinched into a concerned expression as he looks at you, face flushed and sheen from sweat.

“I—” You’re about to smile at him and let the giddiness of having your crush talk to you take over, but then the words get caught in your throat when you remember the whole reason you’re out here. “—I’m just going on a walk.”

“In this heat?” He raises a brow at you. “Where to? Let me give you a ride. You don’t look too well.”

“Nowhere really,” you say with a shrug. “Actually, I might just head back home,” you rush out, turning on your heel to walk in the other direction so Minghao can’t pry any further, but he stops you.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he calls out, and you don’t have the willpower to ignore him. “Let me drive you home then. Seriously, you don’t look well—like you look like you’re ‘bout to pass out and shit—so just get in the car, please?” He says the last part with some sort of beggary etched onto his face and you just can’t deny him. Not now, not ever.

Pulling the door open, your limbs feel heavy as you climb into the car, air much cooler and fresher than outside. Leaning your head against the headrest, you let your eyes flutter shut as Minghao starts the car.

“Are you seriously okay? You look—”

“Sick, I know. I look sick,” your grumble, eyes still shut. You wonder if you should tell him Jun just told you everything.

“I’m sorry,” and you can tell from the way his voice doesn’t waver that he means it.

“Jun told me about Korea.”

“Oh.” Yeah, very big oh. “Just now?” You nod. “Is that why you were out here?” You nod again, finally opening your eyes.

“Hey, this isn’t the way to my house.”

Minghao keeps his eyes on the road. “C’mon, let’s get some pop,” he says, ignoring your statement and driving into the parking lot of a convenience store. He unbuckles his seatbelt and hops out his end, not saying a word, and you figure that you have no other choice but to follow.

Any other situation and you’d be grinning about spending some time alone with Minghao, but after hearing Jun tell you that he’s going to be traveling hundreds of miles and flying over borders within the next two months has your stomach churning in a way you don’t like.

You don’t know if you want to spend all the hours of the day with Jun and Minghao, or if you want to crawl up in your bed and pretend they don’t exist so it’ll hurt less when they’re gone. You feel stupid for thinking like this—you know it’s going to hurt either way.

You’re lost in your own thoughts as you walk into the store after Minghao, only snapped back into the present when he says something to you. “Hey, those are your jeans that you wore when we first did karaoke right?’

You blink once and then twice before looking down at your pants. They were those same jeans. “Yeah, how’d you know?” you ask him incredulously, and Minghao chuckles as he reaches into the cooler and pulls out a pink popsicle.

“I remember the flowers and how they matched your pink jacket. It was cute,” he says casually, and you hope he doesn’t catch onto the way your fingers twiddle together nervously and you avert your gaze. “Anyways, you like Cola right?” he clarifies when reaching into the drink fridge near the cooler. You nod shyly, thanking him quietly when he hands you a can.

As you make your way to the cash register, you fish around in your pockets for a few moments hoping you’ll dig up a dollar bill or something but then Minghao’s hand is on your wrist and he shakes his head with a smile.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll cover it.” He turns back so quickly you don’t have time to protest because he’s already sticking his card into the machine, throwing the cashier a thumbs up and walking out the store without a word.

“I could’ve paid for myself, y’know,” you grumble, following behind Minghao, watching to see where he’s headed. You think he’s going to get back into his car, but instead he plops down on the street curb, sitting on the ground. You just look at him for a few moments, contemplating what to do for a few moments before joining his side.

“Yeah, but I wanted to pay for it.”

The sun is bright and it beads down on you relentlessly, but you don’t complain. You both sit in silence as you both tend to your snacks—Minghao tries to lap up his popsicle quickly now that you’re out in the heat and you try to drink as much of your Cola as you can before it grows lukewarm. The air grows thick between you.

You can’t find the right words to say. You suppose there aren’t any right words or any wrong words, and that you can say just about anything right now and it wouldn’t matter.

Glancing at Minghao who takes a lick of his pink popsicle, you feel that uneasy feeling swarm inside of your chest.

You could kiss him right now. You could press your mouth against his sticky lips and lap at the sugar against his tongue. You could hold his face and run your fingers through his hair and cradle the nape of his neck. You could do anything right now and it wouldn’t matter.

Minghao, after all, was leaving.

But you’re scared and Minghao is mature and his dreams are big and he’s brave.

Your eyes linger on his plush lips for no longer than a second before you shamefully look down at the Cola in your hands, suddenly feeling sick to your stomach.

“You’ll remember this place, right? Like—if you get big and famous and stuff, you two won’t forget, right?” you resort to asking. You say ‘this place,’ but really, you mean ‘me.’ You don’t want to be forgotten.

Minghao watches you with his eyes clouded with something you can’t really make out. “Of course we won’t. We’ll remember forever.” Absentmindedly, you trace figure-eights into the top of your can of pop, and Minghao catches the motion.

Using his own finger, he traces the figure of the number eight over the cement of the curb. “See. Like infinity, y’know?”

You purse your lips together and nod, your mind going dizzy. “Can we … can we go?” you mumble softly, gripping the can in your hand. “I think the heat kinda got to me.” It’s not entirely a lie.

Minghao doesn’t question you, polishing off his popsicle and tossing it into the trash before unlocking the door so you can take the silent ride home.

Jun and Minghao flew out two months ago. You went with your family and Minghao’s family to bid goodbyes. It’s not like you wouldn’t see them again—give or take a few months and Jun would be back at home, but he’d have to leave again. And again. And again.

It’s sad, you think, as you slump against Yiren on some random person’s couch. You miss them so much, but when you think about Jun and Minghao, all you can see is the hard work they’ve put into going where they’re headed.

You feel selfish as you bring a cup up to your lips. You feel pathetic and lame and if you weren’t already drunk, you’d be wallowing in self pity as well. The alcohol tastes just as bitter as your feelings, and while you wince when you gulp it down, you don’t hesitate to let some more run down your throat.

Yiren watches you worriedly when you clutch her arm and shut your eyes tight. “I miss them,” you whisper, and she doesn’t know if you’re talking to her or to yourself. She strokes your hair and coos to you about taking you to lie down somewhere.

Your head spins as she helps you stand, letting the cup fall to the ground, not bothering to pick it up. Yiren pulls you into an empty bedroom and sits you on the bed. “Drink this,” she instructs, handing you a bottle of water.

“Yiren, I miss them,” you repeat yourself.

“I know, I know you do. Do you want to go home? I’ll drive you and—”

“No, you go have fun. I just need to sit down for a sec,” you tell her, letting your back fall onto the mattress. Yiren gives you a warning look, but you shoo her off. “Trust me, I’ll be fine. I’ll call you if I need anything.” She looks like she wants to protest, but you both know you’re on a one track mind right now.

“Please don’t do anything stupid,” Yiren begs as she walks away and closes the door behind her. You’re still dizzy, but not nearly as bad as before. Sitting up, you glance around the room. It’s simple—probably a guest room in whoever’s house this is. Also probably why the door was unlocked in the first place.

You feel you might pass out until your eyes land on an open notebook on a table in the corner of the room. You don’t think twice before standing up and ripping a sheet out, scrambling for a pen.

DEAR MINGHAO

I’m drunk right now. I miss you and I miss Jun. I hope when you guys come back again, we can go to that karaoke place again and sing to Radiohead. I’ve expanded my taste you know—my favorite song is Fake Plastic Trees now, and I even got a record player just so I could play the vinyl for it. Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.

When you come back, we should really go there again. Yiren’s been getting really tired of me singing Creep every time, so I need a new duo partner. And she’s leaving too, so there’s that.

I really want to kiss you right now, but you’re in Korea.

I miss Jun a lot too. I think I hate you for it. He’s my brother but somehow you get to see him more and talk to him more and be with him more. Sometimes I call him and it’s for less than five minutes and I hear your voice in the background and I don’t know if I want to listen to you speak forever or strangle you so you can never talk again. I get that Jun is busy, and that you’re busy, but you guys get to be busy together.

Yiren told me she’s probably going to go to college out of the country next year. I’m going to miss her like hell. I think I already miss her, and so I drag her to karaoke with me so she won’t ever forget about me and Radiohead and how garbage I am at singing Creep.

Jun says he’s going to come visit home in two months, and that you might come along. I didn’t know home was a place you only visit, but I guess being an idol changes you. I probably sound super bitter right now. I’m not. Maybe I’m upset that you guys are gone, but I really am happy for you.Jun is happy, and you’re happy, and I’m so happy you have each other.

It’s hard to focus on your exam—halfway through your degree and you still get the jitters every time you step into the testing hall. It’s probably the nerves. And the caffeine. And the fact that you’ll be seeing your brother and Minghao in three hours.

It’s mainly the third that has your leg bouncing up and down on the balls of your feet as you jot down your answers. The exam takes longer than you’d like to finish, but as soon as you’ve finished the final question, you’re bolting out of the large room and toward the parking lot.

Connecting your phone to your car, you call Jun as you back out of the parking spot. “Hey, you guys at the airport?” you ask when you hear him pick up.

“Yeah, we’re just getting out right now but there’s kind of a crowd so it might take a while to just get to the car.”

“I forgot you guys are, like, famous,” you mutter jokingly. “Where’re you headed first? Minghao’s place first?”

“Yeah probably. He’s gonna see his parents and stuff first and then I’ll go to Mom and Dad’s house, so you can just come there.”

“Okay … we’re still good for our dinner plans, right?”

“Yeah, actually I was wondering if Minghao could tag along,” Jun says, and you can hear some muffled shouting from the other side.

“Oh okay, yeah su—”

“Hey, look, there’s a lot of people here and I can’t hear much so just text me your response and I’ll get to you in a second,” Jun tells you quickly as the shouting grows louder. He hangs up soon after and you sigh heavily as you start driving to your parents house.

The ride is quiet but you’re happy to be met with gleeful parents when you get to their place. You’re all a bit spirited at the prospect of Jun coming home, so when you hear the old ringing of the door bell, you’re bolting to the door and swinging it open, jumping into his arms.

“What happened to ‘hi,’ ‘hello,’ ‘how are you?’” Jun teases as he hugs you close, awkwardly trying to shuffle into the house. You poke your tongue out at him when you finally unwind your arms from around him.

“Hi. Hello. How are you? You seem obnoxious, as always,” you shoot back, and Jun only grins, pinching your cheek tightly.

“Oh how I missed my little insane sister,” he says before moving onto your parents, enveloping them in hugs as you all begin to settle down in the living room. The four of you spend a few hours catching up with Jun before he excuses himself to freshen up so he can get ready for your plans for the evening.

When he comes back all ready, you’re pulling out your keys from your purse and waving bye to your parents, promising them you’ll stop by the next morning as you and your brother make your way to the door.

“See you later!” Jun calls out before closing the front door behind him and following you to your car. Minghao’s house is close by, no more than a five minute drive, and it’s quiet as you take the familiar roads through the town to get there.

“Should we go in?” you ask when you park in Minghao’s driveway. “You haven’t seen his parents in a while, have you?”

“Oh yeah, you’re right. C’mon, let’s go.” You both slip out of the car and make your way to the front door. Minghao’s mother opens the door and you spend a few minutes exchanging greetings and catching up before Minghao is stepping out, clad in some black jeans and a grey hoodie.

He smiles when he sees you, pulling you into a hug, giving you a chance to feel the slightly damp hair against your cheek and the woody smell that always reminds you of him. “Hey, how’s it been?” he asks when he pulls away.

“I-I’m good,” you say shyly.

“Let’s talk more in the car, yeah?” Jun suggests, turning back to Minghao’s parents to give them a hug before you all wave your goodbyes and get into your car.

“Where’re we headed?” Jun asks, as you back out of the driveway. Jun sits in the passenger seat while Minghao slips into the back.

“It’s this new place—opened just a few months ago so I doubt you’d have gone there yet,” you tell him as you start driving.

“Is it the place next to the cafe?” Minghao asks you, and you nod excitedly.

“Yeah … how’d you know?”

“My mom told me about it, and said I should try it out. I guess now’s my chance, huh.”

“Yeah! It’s really good, I hope you both like it,” you say, reaching over to the AUX controls to flick on one of your playlists. “Okay guys … are you ready?” you warn, watching Minghao’s eyes brighten through the mirror.

“Oh my god, don’t tell me you guys are going to sign Creep again—” Jun starts to groan, but you reach over and press a finger over his lips to shut him up.

“Quiet,” Minghao hisses to his friend, scooting forward in his seat so you’re in his view, placing his hands under your headrest. His fingers brush against the back of your neck and you’re scared you might crash the car from the way his touch makes you shiver. Fuck, more than half a damn decade and you still can’t fight it off. “Turn it up,” he instructs from behind, and you can only grin as you reach over and pump up the volume.

The deep rumble of snare and guitar echoes through the car as the song starts and you already feel your heart begin to swell in your chest. So when the first lines of, ‘when you were here before,’ leave your lips, you aren’t sure if you feel your heart mending itself, or if it’s salt being poured on the wound.

Because from behind you is Minghao’s voice, so deep and velvety and angelic it has you almost in a trance. He’s been good at singing, always, but now his voice sounds … mature, and developed and … and you love it.

You think back to the first time you sang Creep with him, and the lyrics already have you reminiscing when you both sing, ‘couldn’t look you in the eye,’ because goddammit you still struggle to look at Minghao for too long because you’re scared you’ll get lost.

And when it gets to the part before the bass is blaring in your ears, Minghao and you are singing, ‘I wish I was special, you’re so fuckin’ special,’ at the top of your lungs and you can’t help but let the irony sink in.

Now you’re pretty sure when Thom wrote Creep, he didn’t mean it to be about your love life, especially not the non-existent one between you and your brother’s best friend, but Thom is speaking to you right now, and you wonder if Minghao can hear the way you’re singing from your heart. How you’re singing for him.

When the song comes to an end, Minghao’s fingers brush over the nape of your neck one last time before he retreats back into his seat. You try to not mull on the feeling any longer, shaking your head of all of those thoughts when you near the restaurant.

“Here it is!” you chirp, parking the car on the curb. The three of you shuffle out of the car casually, making your way to the entrance.

“Looks nice,” Minghao comments as he opens the door for you and Jun. Your brother hops in merrily and you and Minghao both share a soft smile as you go inside too, your body nearly jerking when you feel his hand on the small of your back as he follows behind you.

His touch is warm and gentle and—fuck, does he know what he’s doing to you right now?

You’re more relieved than anything when he finally lets his arm drop, the three of you making your way to the table you booked. You were scared that if Minghao stayed close any longer, he’d be able to feel your heart beating through your chest.

You guys sit down at the table, Jun next to you while Minghao settles across the two of you. “So how’s your classes going?” he asks you as you look through the menu. “Jun said you had an exam today, right?”

“Yeah, it was my final one,” you tell him with a sigh of relief. “It was stressful preparing for it but it went better than I thought.”

“Good to hear,” Minghao says as a waiter comes along to pick up on your orders. After he leaves, Jun turns to you.

“What’s Yiren up to?” Jun asks you curiously. “Haven’t seen that girl in ages.”

“She’s, uh, she’s good,” you reply. “I haven’t seen her in a while either … she went off to college in Korea, remember?”

Minghao chuckles, “Seems like everyone’s going there, huh? Maybe you should pull up too.”

You scrunch up your face and shake your head while you take a sip of water. “I think I like this place too much to leave. Plus, who’s going to take care of our old folks if I leave too?” you tease, nudging your brother in the side.

“Mom and Dad can take care of themselves just fine,” Jun shrugs, ruffling your hair as the waiter brings along some food.

“Looks good,” Minghao says, holding up some chopsticks as you all look down at the sizzling dishes in front of you.

“It is! See?” you say pointedly, looking up at Jun. “Imagine I moved to Korea—I wouldn’t be able to eat this.” Your brother only rolls his eyes and Minghao and you laugh together while you dig in.

As you work through your meal and catch each other up on your lives, Minghao eventually leans back in his seat and sighs heavily. “I’m really craving something sweet right now.”

“I’d say we should pick up some pastries from the cafe next door but they closed two hours ago,” you say sadly.

“Oh shit, I forgot about that place. They made the best chocolate buns ever,” Jun mutters to himself, polishing off his plate.

“Let’s go to the cafe tomorrow evening, yeah?” Minghao suggests as he takes a sip of water. At the suggestion, you chew at your lip.

“Uh, I don’t think I can go then,” you say, hoping they won’t pry any further.

Of course, your brother doesn’t allow you a second of peace. “Why not? Your last exam was today, right?”

“Yeah, but I have stuff to do,” you reply nonchalantly. Jun scoffs and tugs your ear, causing you to whine. “What was that for?!”

“You didn’t clear your schedule out for me? I thought you missed me! You know I have to leave in like a week,” he complains, and you and Minghao share an amused look as you nudge Jun on the side.

“Relax, you can have me in the morning and afternoon and everything … I just have to go somewhere for the evening.”

“You’re being really ominous about this, you know,” Jun retorts, crossing his arms over his chest. “Where’re you going?”

You chew on your tongue, contemplating if this is the right moment to bring it up, or if you should even tell Jun and Minghao this at all. “I just have to see someone.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Jun groans. “You’re literally asking me to pry. Tell me who—a boyfriend?” You chuckle nervously, eyes flickering between Minghao and your brother, shaking your head.

“No—not a boyfriend,” you say dryly, scoffing at the irony. “Remember Renjun? I told you about him when I was in freshman year.”

“Vaguely. Remind me who he is again?”

“He’s just a guy, and he has some of my stuff I need to pick up.” Both Minghao and Jun cock an eyebrow at you after that. “What?” you huff, leaning back in your seat.

“An ex?” Minghao asks and your face burns.

“I—yeah,” you say casually. “An ex.”

Jun frowns deeply. “I didn’t know you and Renjun ever dated. I didn’t even know you ever had a boyfriend,” he says, voice evidently upset that he was left out of this.

“It wasn’t that serious,” you pat his shoulder as to soften the blow. “Plus it happened when you were on tour—we hardly talked then.”

“Still! You could’ve told me!” You bite back a, ‘But could I really?’ because this isn’t the time or place for that.

“It’s whatever. I just need to pick up some stuff I left at his place and—”

“So it ended pretty recently then?” Minghao piques, and your eyebrows furrow, slightly annoyed by both of their belated interest in your love life.

“What, no! It’s been months and—wait, I don’t see how that’s any of your guys’ business,” you huff and Minghao backs off a little, but Jun still stays curiously leaning in.

“Whatever. You’ll be available to come with us to the lake on Friday though, right?” Jun asks, pulling out his phone and holding it up to your face to show you a picture of a lake house. “I booked a place to stay the night and all.”

“Of course I’m going to come—I’ve been looking forward to it!”

“Good,” Jun says gruffly, still somewhat glaring at you.

You give him a funny look. “What?”

“I’m still mad you never told me—you’re supposed to tell me this stuff! How else am I supposed to know that you’re doing fine on your own and actually growing up.”

“Oh my god, Jun, I’m an adult! Did you think I would never have boyfriends?”

“No! At least not without telling me!”

You chuckle and Minghao follows in suit, enjoying the little sibling bicker. “Okay fine. I’m sure I’ll be telling you every detail of my love life when it gets resurrected.”

Minghao snorts at your use of words, and you revel in the way the sound makes you feel. Fuck it, it’s been more than half a decade and you still get butterflies—you can’t fight away the feeling, so you might as well wallow in it.

You wonder what Jun would think about this—your love life being pulled and shaken by his own best friend. Oh well, some secrets are best kept hidden anyways.

“Here’s your stuff,” Renjun says softly, handing you a paper bag that’s stuffed with a wide array of your belongings.

“Thank you. Is my pink jacket in there? I’ve been looking for it for a while and I didn’t know if I left it at yours,” you ask timidly, holding the paper bag close to your chest.

He scratches the back of his head as he steps back, nodding. “Uh, yeah I think it’s at the bottom.” You peer down at the contents of your back, and give a half smile when you see the pink cloth peeking out from underneath.

“Thanks for taking care of my stuff. I know you’ve basically moved out and all.”

“No worries. Do you, uh, need a ride home or anything? It’s pretty cold.”

You purse your lips at the offer, but shake your head. “It’s fine …” There’s an awkward silence and you quickly wonder if you should say anything more. Renjun looks awfully … apologetic right now and you feel there’s some more you can say. “How’s your new place? Have you seen it?”

“Yeah, I flew up there a few weeks back to get some of my main stuff shipped. A nice apartment, way bigger than whatever I had here,” he says with an awkward chuckle. You appreciate the effort.

Nodding, you tighten your grip on the bag. “That’s good to hear. I hope it all goes well with you. I … I think I’ll be taking my leave now. My brother’s back in town so …”

“Oh yeah, I heard from Jianing. Hope you’re having a good time—I know you haven’t seen him in ages.”

“Thank you. Anyways, I’m gonna get going now. Thanks again,” you say as you step back, throwing out a small wave.

A half-hearted, “See you,” leaves Renjun’s lips as you turn on your heel and start walking back to the bus station. There’s no promise of seeing Renjun later, or ever again, and something cold sinks in your stomach at the thought.

The thought that this all could’ve been avoided if Renjun hadn’t gotten that stupid job offer hundreds of miles away. If he didn’t decide to pack his bags and fly away just like Jun, like Yiren, like Minghao. Renjun was leaving, just like everyone else.

You clutch the paper bag close to your chest as you make your way to the bus stop, one hand fumbling in the pocket of your jacket as you search for your wallet and within seconds you’re a frantic mess. “Shit,” you mutter under your breath. “Shit, shit, shit!” you cry out when you drop your bag and pat frantically over your pockets to try and feel for your wallet.

Your digging into every crook of the coat and there’s a growing feeling of dread that washes over you once you realize that you lost your fucking wallet. Hands clenched at your side, you feel hot tears well up in your lash line as you stare down at the ground, letting in the shitty events of today sink in.

You don’t even know why you’re crying now. It’s hardly even cries, really, you’re downright sobbing as you plop down on the curb of the empty street, fumbling with your phone as you pull up Jun’s contact. Pressing the phone to your ear, you shut your eyes tight in an attempt to calm down your breath, but when you hear the line go dead you cry even harder, realizing that Jun is probably napping right now.

“Fuck my life,” you complain to yourself, letting your head hang low as you scroll through your phone. You aren’t even sure what compels you to click on him but before you know it you’re on speaker as you hear the buzzing of the phone as you wait for Minghao to pick up.

One ring. Maybe he’s busy.

Two rings. He might be looking for his phone.

Three rings. He probably won’t pick up.

Four rings, and you’re about to hang up but then it stops. “Minghao?”

Minghao’s voice is cool and calm when he says your name. “Do you—”

“I need your help,” you say so quietly you aren’t sure if he’ll be able to hear it. And then Minghao hears it: your soft pants and shaky breath and something about the sound has him squeezing his phone tightly.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m—” No, I feel like shit and I’m freezing my ass off and it’s so cold and I need you to help me. “Can you pick me up? I lost my wallet which has my bus card. I’m sorry, I know it’s a little late and you’re probably busy but—”

“Send me your location.”

Minghao is pulling up in his black car within twenty minutes and by then you’ve had enough time to wipe the tears from your face and piece together yourself to look presentable. Rolling down the windows as you wave over to his car, you hear the doors click and you’re roughly yanking on the door and throwing your stuff and yourself in.

Minghao raises a brow at your ruckus, asking once again, “Are you okay?” When you only sigh heavily, buckling yourself up, you hope Minghao will just leave it alone. You’d rather not talk about the stupid breakdown you just had in front of your childhood crush.

Minghao clearly doesn’t get the message, so when he starts the engine again, he murmurs, “Have you been crying?” You purse your lips together tightly as if the question itself as the tears bubbling up to the surface once again. “Did meeting with Renjun not go well?” You’re surprised he remembers his name—Minghao was never great with names. “Can you say something? I’m worried.”

“Sorry,” you say softly, letting your shoulder drop down, and from the corner of your vision you see Minghao watching you carefully. “I-I just got overwhelmed. And it was cold. Really cold. And then—” You take a shaky breath. “—and I lost my fucking wallet on top of it and it’s all so shitty and—”

His hand is on your shoulder and you hardly realize that Minghao has pulled over and parked so he can turn to face you. You’re crying again and you don’t even know how this fucking happened, all you know is that there’s so much going on in your head and Minghao is right there, he’s so close but then again, he’s so far.

“Hey, hey calm down for a sec’,” he says calmly, gripping your arm firmly. “Breathe slowly, and tell me what happened.”

You inhale sharply through your nose and scrunch your face up as you bury your head in your hands. In your right mind, you wouldn’t even think about telling Minghao about what’s on your mind but it’s been a really terrible past hour and you can’t control yourself.

“Renjun’s leaving. Didn’t want to do long distance and so he’s gone and—fuck, I don’t even blame him but why’d he have to leave,” you ramble, tears streaming down your flushed cheeks as Minghao pats your back gently.

“Did he say something to you when you met with him?” he asked, tone laced with concern. “I’m sorry, I’m just—are you o—okay please don’t cry.”

You don’t know why, but Minghao telling you to cry only makes the tears fall faster. “And Yiren—” you hiccup, “Yiren left too, I haven’t seen her in months and Jun a-a-and you—you’ve all been gone.” You don’t realize when Minghao grabs both your shoulders and forces you to face him completely.

“Slow down, please. No one’s left you, we’re all going to be here for you, you know that. Did Renjun say something which made you think like this?” he asks, the grip on your shaking shoulders growing tighter as you desperately try to steady yourself.

“N-no, but you’re not here. I hardly ever get to see my own brother and Yiren and you and Renjun and everything is so shitty I just—” you cry out and suddenly you stumble forward in the seat and before you know it Minghao’s arms are around you.

It’s not like you haven’t hugged him before but this is the first time you’re blubbering into his shoulder about your feelings, and if you weren’t so sad, you’d be fucking appalled. His warm hand is on your back, rubbing up and down slowly until you’ve finally found the conscience to actually breathe and realize just what’s going on.

Slowly, you pull away from Minghao’s hold, furiously wiping away at your face to dry yourself, looking down at your lap bashfully. “I am so sorry, what the fuck, I-I don’t know what came over me,” you blurt out when Minghao drops his hands from your shoulder. You miss the warmth, but you’re quite very embarrassed with yourself and don’t have the will to chase after his touch.

“Please don’t apologize,” Minghao replies softly, watching you with wide eyes. “That … was a lot and—”

“I’m sorry, look, I was just having a shitty day and it all piled up and you just—I don’t know I guess, let’s just pretend this never happened,” you beg with him. Minghao’s face looks like he wants to say more, but you really can’t tell with the way his eyes are clouded.

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me.”

You gulp at the irony. No, you really can’t. You can’t tell Minghao anything, really, because even after crying and sobbing and wailing in his car he still looks at you with so much care and it has these stupid fucking butterflies erupting in your stomach like you’re fifiteen with a massive crush on your brother’s best friend.

“Can you just please drive me to my place?” you ask, looking up at him with pleading eyes. “I think I just really need to sleep.”

You can tell Minghao still has questions, but you don’t seem too willing to answer them so he doesn’t say anything when he nods and turns back to the road. The ride is silent, and when he finally parks he pats your shoulder.

You look out the window and furrow your eyebrows. “This isn’t my apartment complex …” you tell him, confused as you see a convenience store in front of you. The same one.

“C’mon, I know you love pop,” he says casually, unbuckling his seatbelt leaving you with no other choice to follow behind him. There’s an odd sense of deja vu that envelopes over you, shoving your pockets into your jacket shyly.

“Remember the last time we were here?” Minghao asks with a chuckle as you guys walk into the store.

“Don’t remind me,” you murmur. “That was a shitty day.”

Minghao gives you a nervous smile as he pulls out a can from the fridge and hands it to you, grabbing his own bottle as well. “Yeah, but Cola made it better, right?”

“I guess it did. Cola always makes things better,” you admit. “Hey, fuck you,” you say jokingly when Minghao pulls out his wallet. “You should’ve taken me here another time when I actually had my wallet—I need to pay you back for that day!” you whine with a pout. “Now I’m in debt to you twice! You’ve bought me two Colas!”

Minghao rolls his eyes playfully as he pays for the drinks. “Yeah well things are different now, and I’m pretty sure my wallet doesn’t care about the cost of two Colas.”

“Is Mr. Big and Famous too good for my money now?” you huff when you step back outside, opening your Cola. “I will pay you back, no matter how stupidly rich you get.”

“I’ll have to hold you to that,” Minghao laughs as you slip back into his car. The air is lighter as he drives you back to your place for real this time, and the lingering feeling of pop on your tongue is sweet and fun.

“Thank you for the ride. And the Cola,” you add when he’s in front of your building.

“You remember what I said?”

You nod as you step out of the car, picking up your brown bag. “Thank you so much for this. I’m sorry again.”

“Stop apologizing. Is there … is there anything else I can do? You want another Cola perhaps?”

“Very funny, but I don’t think I want to be jumping off the walls tonight …” you answer, closing the door but still peering through the open window. You think for a second as you chew your lip, nodding when you come up with something. “But do me a favor … don’t tell Jun.”

Jun takes you out to the lake house he booked three mornings after you met with Renjun and sobbed to Minghao in his car. It’s a refreshing turn of events, if you’re being honest, and you’re eager to sink into a relaxing weekend after a stressful exam season.

Your brother drives the three hours on the way with the promise of you driving on the way home hung over your head. When you reach the house—a medium sized cabin perched right by the lake and surrounded by trees and mountains—you’re greeted with the sight of Minghao sitting in his car and scrolling on his phone.

As you and Jun pile out of the car and grab your bags, Minghao comes out too, walking toward you with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Thought you guys would never come. If you were gonna be late you should’ve just given me the keys to this place,” he says with a huff.

“Don’t blame me,” Jun shrugs, locking the car after you’ve both taken out your stuff, walking up to the cabin’s entrance. “She’s the one who wanted to stop and buy some pop.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t want it either,” you retort, reaching into your tote bag to hand Minghao a can of Cola. “Here,” you offer with a smile which he returns gleefully.

“Okay actually, totally valid reason,” Minghao says, flicking open the can before taking a sip.

“Hey! Don’t be on her side,” Jun whines as he opens up the cabin. Minghao and you chuckle together, your heart warming at the sound as you three start to load your things into the house. Minghao doesn’t say anything about that night when he picked you up, and for that much you’re grateful. This much, you can manage.

By the time you all have settled your things into your respective rooms it’s noon and the sun pummels down with admirable strength. As you stick your head out of your room, you catch Jun making his way down the hallway toward the bathroom.

“You going for a swim?” you ask, gesturing down to your swimsuit that you’ve already eagerly put on.

“Nah, I’m gonna go later. I need to take a call right now,” he says with a sigh and you nod, about to retreat back to your room before Minghao walks out of his own room.

“I’ll go if you’re going,” Minghao tells you casually, and you don’t waste a second to nod. “Give me five so I can get changed and then we can go out.”

You jump down the hall excitedly after he closes the door behind him, making your way to the backyard porch which leads into a deck over the lake. As you place your towel on one of the chairs outside, you hear the sliding door open.

Minghao walks out shirtless, lower half only covered with his swim trunks as he runs a hand through his shaggy hair, shaking his head lightly as he makes his way towards you, placing his towel next to yours. “Thanks for waiting … shit, it’s hot as hell,” he murmurs, and you’re thankful that you’re facing away from him right now—you aren’t sure you’d be able to handle the proximity and the sight of his bare upper body.

“Yeah,” you agree, finally straightening your back and putting some distance between the two of you when you start walking towards the edge of the deck. “The water’s so clear,” you think out loud, looking down at the blue lake in front of you.

“It’s really pretty … you want a picture?” Minghao suggests, walking up behind you.

“I would, but I left my phone inside.”

“Let’s just take it on my phone,” he says casually, holding up his phone in front of you, waving at you to step back a little so he can take a picture. “A candid one would look pretty with this view—like you’re looking out at the lake and stuff,” he begins to say, placing a smooth hand on your shoulder so he can manually turn you around so that you’re facing away from him.

When he lets his hand drop, it brushes over the curve of your hip and you have to bite down on your lip to stop the pathetic whimper that threatens to escape your lips. Luckily, Minghao can’t see the pained expression that makes its way onto your face as he steps back holding up his phone.

“Okay ready …” he calls out from further behind. “Three … two … one!” You hear a faint tapping sound as you still, letting Minghao take the pictures as you wait patiently. It takes a few moments, and you’re about to ask him how much longer he’s going to go at it before you hear the sound of something being dropped, and then a few rattling thuds.

“Minghao, what—” you begin to question as you slowly turn on your heel but by then it’s too late. “WHAT THE F—”

Your scream is cut off short when Minghao runs forward and lunges at you, one arm wrapping itself around your waist as he jumps into the water, bringing you down with him. The cool water of the lake hits your body and the wind gets punched out of your lungs as you feel your limbs entangle with his. Instinctevely, your arms tighten around one of his as your eyes press closed tightly as you feel your warm body start to level with the temperature around you.

And so even as your legs kick around for a few panicked moments, you begin to feel oddly at peace when your head finally reaches the surface of the water, Minghao’s hand still steady over your hips as you gasp for air.

“You’re a bitch for that,” you say, a few choked giggles escaping your lips as you do. Minghao finally unwinds his arm from yours, and while you miss the contact, his body is still dangerously close to yours, and you figure that that is already more than you can manage.

Minghao smiles gleefully, pushing his face so close that it’s right up in front of you. “Mm maybe, but it was really funny. Got it on video too.”

“What?!” you screech, swimming backward so quickly that you hit  your head on the wooden platform of the deck. “Crap!” you exclaim, hand immediately flying up to press against the throbbing crown of your head. Minghao’s eyes widen with concern as he wades his way towards you, tall enough to still have his feet touch the lake bottom unlike you.

“Shit, I’m sorry, are you okay?” he asks worriedly, his own hand coming up to feel the back of your head. His eyes are big and brown as he looks down at you, and for this moment, you forget about the dull ache and bask in the way the sun hits his skin so perfectly he glows.

“I’m fine!” you squeak quickly, letting your hand drop so you can tread in the water lightly, slowly moving a safe distance away from the deck.

“A-are you sure?” he probes, making his way to you, and you have a moment to admire him from afar—the way his hair is matted against his forehead and water drops gather at his lashes, making his eyes look prettier than ever.

You chuckle at the way his lips are pursed together apologetically, and you splash some water at him to lighten the mood. “Yes, Minghao, I’m great. I hardly hit myself.” Minghao’s face looks uneasy, and you laugh again.

It takes a few more minutes of you trying to convince him that you’re totally fine before he finally lets it go. Eventually, you find yourself on a big inflated duck-shaped floaty, laying down with your face up and eyes closed. You lose track of time, enjoying the white noise of Minghao splashing around in the water around you, drifting off into a hazy state until you hear a loud yell and feel yourself being flipped over and off your floaty.

“Jun!” you whine, rubbing your eyes as you furiously push hair off your face when you resurface, glaring at both Jun and Minghao laugh side by side. “You guys have to stop doing this to me,” you groan, eyes finally adjusting to its normal state.

“What are you talking about?” Jun asks innocently as you make your way over to the two of them, not bothering to turn your duck floatie back up right. “It was just an accident I fell on you—hey!” he yells out when you lunge at him. Minghao steps back quickly as you and Jun waddle and fight in the water, splashing water at each other while you try and get your revenge.

“Okay! Okay! I’m sorry,” Jun admits with a pout. “You didn’t do this to Minghao after he dunked you in the water,” he complains as you release him.

You narrow your eyes. “How do you know about that?”

“He sent me the video.”

“Minghao!” you exclaim, turning to the boy who is now treading around a meter in front of you. He only shrugs and grins cheekily.

“It was really funny,” Jun tells you with a laugh. “I might just post it on my story.”

“Oh my god, don’t you dare.”

Jun only shakes his head and starts slowly swimming further into the lake. “Don’t worry—I wouldn’t do that. Minghao can’t have any dating rumors, now can he?”

You chew on your lip, not responding. Minghao doesn’t say anything either, only chuckling along with your brother as he follows after him. You aren’t sure what to say to that, and the comment leaves some uneasy feeling hanging in your stomach.

Fuck, maybe you did hit your head hard.

You three spend a good few hours out in the lake until it’s evening. It’s a slow day and you start to realize just how much you missed spending time with your brother and Minghao like this—it isn’t often they get the opportunity to do things like this, so you’re grateful that they decided to share some of their few days of peace with you.

The second day is even hotter than the first, and you wake from your sleep early in the morning when the sky is still blooming with purple and orange hues. Crawling out from your bed, you make your way downstairs. If it was just you and your brother, you wouldn’t be so mindful about keeping your noise levels down because god knows that Jun can sleep through just about anything, but, Minghao is with you guys now, and you’d hate to sour his experience even just a little by accidentally waking him up for being too loud.

So you can imagine your surprise when you walk into the kitchen to see Minghao already leaning against the counter as he scrolls through his phone. He hasn’t noticed you and you contemplate leaving it like that for a few moments.

He’s wearing a tight fit, black, sleeveless top that shows off the curve of his shoulders and lets the sparkle of his silver chain glint under the morning light. Minghao is attractive—you and the millions of people in his comments know that—and you feel an odd sense of pride well up in your stomach that you’re one of the few people who get to see him like this.

With his hair messy and brushing over his eyes, legs crossed over each other as he presses his body weight against the kitchen island, bare skin glowing from the natural light, he’s beautiful.

Your face heats up when you realize you’ve just been staring at him, so you quickly clear your throat. “Good morning,” you chirp, walking into the kitchen so he can finally see you.

Minghao looks up from his phone, tucking it into the pocket of his sweatpants to greet you with a smile. “Hey, I didn’t know you were up. How’s your head doing?” he asks shyly, walking over to casually run his hand over that same spot on the crown of your head.

It’s an oddly intimate gesture, and if you didn’t know any better, your heart might have given out from the way he was touching you. Still, you know he’s just checking to see if it’s swollen, but your heart flutters anyways.

“I-it’s fine,” you reply, opening the fridge to pull out some orange juice as his hand drops. “I didn’t know you were an early riser. Jun always sleeps in whenever he gets the chance.”

“Yeah, well that’s why he’s paged as a literal cat by everyone,” Minghao says with a chuckle as you place a jug on the counter. “Do you want some tea? I’m just boiling the water now so I can add some more if you want.”

“Sure, that’ll be nice.” You pour yourself some orange juice. “Do you want to eat something? I brought some cupcakes to have for breakfast,” you offer, reaching into one of the bags you didn’t unpack to pull out a box.

“Are they those cupcakes?”

“Yup—the one and only!” you exclaim, opening the lid to show him. Minghao grins, pulling two out.

“God, I missed these. Y’know, Jun actually gave your recipe to Mingyu too, but he just doesn’t make them the same,” Minghao tells you, and your eyes light up.

“Really? Poor Mingyu,” you say with a sigh.

“If you ever end up visiting us in Korea, you should really make some,” Minghao suggests as he goes to take care of the boiling water, dropping some tea leaves into it before moving the water into a pot. Then, pulling out two small cups and plates, he says, “Me and Jun have told the others about how good you make them, but they really need to try them.”

“I’d love to,” you say with a grin, giddy with the way Minghao is boosting your ego. As he pours out the tea into two mugs, you put the cupcakes on the small plates, looking out to the glass sliding door which leads to the porch by the lake. “You want to eat outside? The sky looks really beautiful now, and the weather looks like it’s nice too.”

Minghao nods, holding up the two mugs while you grab the plates and follow him outside and onto the little shaded porch where you sit by two of the chairs and the small, knee level coffee table. The sky is still deep in its changing colors, and you pull out your phone to take some pictures.

“Can you take some pictures of me? For my WeVerse and Instagram and stuff?” he asks when you’re done, holding out his phone in your direction.

“Yeah, of course.” Leaning back after you grab his phone, you position yourself as Minghao poses. “Lean back a little more so the background can—yeah, perfect …” You take a few photos, and Minghao nods happily when you show him.

“Can you take some more candid ones?”

“Sure, let’s switch spots. I think it’ll look nicer if it looks like you’re looking out to the lake from here,” you suggest, getting up from your seat. Minghao complies without protest and you spend a few more minutes taking some pictures before finally handing him the phone. “You like them?”

“Hell yeah I do,” he says, looking through his phone. “You’re great at this,” he compliments sincerely.

“I’m used to taking the kinda pictures you guys like now … Jun has trained me well,” you joke, sitting back in the seat and reaching for your own cup of tea. It’s quiet for a few moments as you both relax and watch the sky grow brighter by the minute.

Jun wakes up an hour later, trudging out his room with groggy eyes as you poke fun of him. The morning is slow for a short while after that before Minghao is reminding you all that you need to start heading back home. The two of them are leaving for Korea in two days, after all, and that leaves them with only today and tomorrow to completely bask in themselves and the rest of their family, so you pack your things and end your stay at the cabin before the clock hits noon.

That night, after you drive yourself and Jun home and you retreat to the comfort of your apartment, you flop down onto your couch and pull out your phone. You’re met with a few notifications from WeVerse and Instagram, casually scrolling through the apps when your eyes catch a few familiar pictures.

It’s on Instagram and you recognize the bright orange of the rising sky that sits behind Minghao who is smiling into the camera. The next picture is a candid one of him looking at the lake while he drinks some tea, and the third is a picture of the cupcake you made.

You grin at the picture—the rest of the world won’t know it, but you definitely do—it’s a little piece of you that Minghao is sharing with the world. Though, you aren’t sure if he put as much thought into it as you are right now.

Brushing it off as Minghao just wanting to share a pretty picture of a nice looking cupcake, you purse your lips together only for them to be parted when you read his caption.

i’m a weirdo

Scrolling through the comments, you come across people saying, many among the following:

ur not a weirdo >:c fellow radiohead fanatic i see is the8 a certified creep? o: i didn’t know minghao liked radiohead … another reason to stan!

As you ignore the increased palpitating of your heart at the idea that Minghao quoted a line from, in your opinion, “your guys’ song.” you sit and think for a moment about what to do. You consider just liking the post and scrolling past it before a funny thought crosses your mind, and so you start typing into the comments.

i wonder who took these pics lol

No one’s going to see it. Minghao is definitely not going to see it, but you giggle to yourself anyways. You’re about to put your phone down when you get a notification of a reply to your comment. Curious, you open it up, and see that it’s just a random person.

imagine it’s his gf

You laugh to yourself. You wish.

The last day or two with Jun goes as they always do when he’s here—slow, but all that you need. He spends his time at your parents house and you stop by for lunch and dinner the day after you both return from the lake house.

The afternoon, you both went down to the cafe and stocked up on chocolate buns—Jun’s request—and spent the rest of your time until evening going over your plans for the rest of the summer. You enjoy this part, always. Not Jun leaving—of course not—but spending these tame moments with him.

It makes you wonder what things would have been like if he never left. Maybe he’d move out for university someplace else, but you’d get to see him more, probably. Get to hang out with him every weekend, instead of every two months.

You shake yourself off the thought as you drive to your parents house. Having Jun around more often would be nice, but there isn’t any point in dreaming about the impossible.

As you pull up to the driveway and park your car, you notice Minghao standing out by the front door with his suitcase and a bag. “Hey, looking for Jun?”

“Well, yeah. Of course I wanna say bye to you both before you go … is the van here yet?”

“Nah, it’s still taking some time but Jun is on the other side of the house to see if the car is gonna come from that side,” he explains.

“I’m gonna miss you guys … you know when you’re both going to come next?” you ask, voice softer than you anticipated.

“I really don’t know—I’m sorry. You know how things are.”

“Yeah,” you mumble, shoulders deflating as you look down at the ground..

“I know—it’s not … it's not easy for Jun, either, I can tell. It isn’t easy for any of us to leave.” When Minghao finishes speaking you only nod, and as your eyes meet,you feel like there’s something he wants to say. “Hey,” he murmurs quietly.

A heavy hand is placed on your shoulder, and you feel you might as well sink to the ground and let the earth swallow you up. “If you’re going to talk about—”

“Hear me out, yeah?” Minghao cuts you off, and when you open your mouth in protest, he continues. “Don’t …” he inhales deeply before saying, “Don’t take what I’m about to say the wrong way, okay?”

You cross your arms over your chest. “That really depends on what you’re going to say.”

“Okay, just … just listen. Jun, and me, and Yiren, and Renjun—” God, why is he bringing this up? “—we aren’t trying to hurt you.”

“Of course I know that.” Your eyebrows knit together and Minghao sighs at your reaction, letting his hand fall from your shoulder. You miss the touch, but your mind is a little too preoccupied with trying to decipher Minghao’s words to dwell on it.

“I’m just saying … you shouldn’t try to depend on anyone.” You open your mouth and then close it, trying to figure out how the hell he expects you to respond to this.

“What d’you mean?”

“Well I mean,” he huffs before continuing, shoving his hands in his pockets, “you obviously have been … upset about people leaving you and you can’t expect everyone to stick around forever.”

“If you’re talking about Renjun, he was my boyfriend. I think it’s okay for me to expect someone who I’m dating to ‘stick around,’ even though it might not be forever.”

“I guess, but it’s not just Renjun, right? Jun … Yiren … me …” he voice trails off.

“I basically spent my whole middle and high school years around you and Yiren, and Jun is literally my brother. Do you think me wanting the people I quite literally grew up around to be here for me is being ‘dependant?’”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I mean we were all going to grow up eventually? Look, don’t take this the wrong way and—”

“Excuse me?” you blurt out harshly, taking a step back, scoffing before you continue. “I wouldn’t be taking this the wrong way if you obviously didn’t mean it the wrong way. You basically just said I’m not independent.”

Minghao frowns at your reaction before responding, “I didn’t say that. I just said you shouldn’t depend on anyone.”

“Which implies that I am depending on people unnecessarily!”

Minghao adjusts his backpack straps as he says, “I mean you did cry for quite a while about how people are leaving you. I just don’t want you to get more hurt by being dependent on others.”

“Thanks for the concern,” you shoot sarcastically, “but I’m not dependent on anyone. I was upset that night because all the people closest to me have moved away and if you ask any normal person, I’m pretty sure they’d agree that that’s a valid reason to cry a little. So sorry if that was too much for you.” You say the last part with disgust laced on your tongue, and you watch Minghao’s face grow increasingly sour as you go on.

“Okay, now you’re just twisting my words,” Minghao huffs, glancing around to make sure that no one is close by.

“What the hell Minghao,” you scoff, clenching your fists at your side. You don’t want to be the person to jump down his throat, but you can’t help but feel like you’re being talked down to. “Why—why are you acting like I’m still a little kid. I’m more than Jun’s little sister, you do know that right?”

“Oh my god, seriously?” Minghao retorts, eyebrows rising in a mix of disbelief and irritation. “You think that’s what this is about? For fuck’s sake I’m just looking out for you.”

“Exactly!” you exclaim, pointing an accusing finger at him. “There’s no reason for that! Like I said, I’m not some little girl anymore and I’ve been looking out for myself for years. You just happened to catch me in a moment where I let myself be sad about it which, again, is a totally valid thing to be sad about.”

“I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Well congratulations! You were unsuccessful,” you mumble out, feeling an ugly knot build up in your throat. “I trusted you,” you say softly, and Minghao looks at you with eyes so apologetic you almost think about forgiving him. “That night after I saw Renjun—I-I trusted you,” you add more harshly this time. “And I cried to you even though we haven’t properly spoken in fuck knows how long and you take all that and make me out to seem like some sort of defenseless kid—”

“Can you stop—you’re putting words into my mouth. I never said you were defenseless or not independent or anything like that—I don’t even know why you think I would think of you like that because you know that’s not true.”

“Minghao, I don’t know if you’ve realized but it’s been years since we've talked properly. Just because—” You take a deep breath before continuing your bitter words. “—just because you get to live your stupidly amazing life with my brother by your side doesn’t mean that you know me and that I know you, because clearly we don’t know each other at all!”

“I’m sorry?” he says exasperatedly. “Sorry I care about you or whatever, even though things have changed.”

You scowl, and in your right mind you wouldn’t let your next words slip out of your mouth. “Well don’t. I’ve been fine without your sympathy so far, I’m pretty sure I can go on a bit longer.”

Minghao is about to respond, you can tell from the way his hands fiddle at his sides, but then there’s a buzzing and you reach into your pocket to pull out your phone. “Hey Jun,” you say, answering the call without meeting Minghao’s gaze. “… Yeah, he’s with me, we’re just waiting for the car … okay I’ll tell him.”

Tucking the device back into your pocket, you look at Minghao. “Jun is asking for you on the other side of the house. You should go,” you say flatly and you can tell from the look on his face that he wants to say more, but holds back.

Grabbing his suitcase, he tears his eyes from you and doesn’t look back after saying, “See you,” walking away and around the corner of the street. There’s that similar chill that takes over your body when Minghao says the same words Renjun said just a few nights before, and you silently wonder if this is history repeating itself.

“So,” Yiren says as she plops down onto your couch, kicking her feet up onto your coffee table. “How’d meeting with Renjun go? He give you your shit back?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” you grumble as you walk over and nudge her legs to get her to put them down. “And you can’t just flop down and sit! Put your suitcase away so it’s not in the middle of the room,” you order, trying to be stern as Yiren sticks her tongue out at you.

“So bossy—your best friend is visiting your cute little abode and you can’t help her out with her stuff?” Yiren juts out her bottom lip into a pout as you sit next to her and wrap your arms around her waist, sinking into the couch. “Okay what’s going on. You’re being extra snappish …” she asks a bit more seriously, pulling away from your hold to get a better look at you. “Was it Renjun? Did he say something before he left?”

“No!” you say quickly, looking away bashfully, leaning back against the arm rest. You fucking wish you were in this sour mood because of Renjun because you could manage that. Renjun is gone, and it would hurt but you’d get over it.

You aren’t sure how long it’ll take to get over Minghao, if you ever do at all.

“Are you lying to me? You know I can tell when you’re not telling the truth.”

“I am telling the truth.” Just not all of it, you think to yourself.

Yiren sighs loudly, sitting up straight and facing you completely. “You are so bad at this. C’mon tell me—what’d he say? Or was it not Renjun—Jun? Which Jun was it? Did you and Jun fight?”

“I—”

“Like that one time two years ago and you didn’t talk to each other until he came back a month later and—”

You cringe at the memory, slapping a hand over her mouth. “Yiren don’t bring that up. I hated that.”

“Okay sorry,” she says sheepishly. “But seriously—what was it? Renjun? Jun? Which one? Or wait—Min—oh my gosh, don’t tell me it was Minghao!” When you take more than a second to respond, Yiren gasps. “Oh god, it was Minghao.”

She stands up quickly, looking down at your figure on the couch. Before you can say anything, she turns on her heel and walks towards your kitchen. “Hey, where are you going!” you call out to her, sitting upright.

Yiren doesn’t respond, only reaching into the fridge and pulling out two cans of pop. Walking back, she sits down in front of you and hands you a Cola, opening her own Sprite herself. “C’mon, you need to tell me about this. The pop is just here for emotional support.”

You narrow your eyes at her. You thought you were dealing with the effects of your argument with Minghao perfectly fine, but as you look down at the cold can in front of you, an uneasy feeling bubbles up in your stomach. Taking a deep breath, you set the can down on your coffee table, leaving it unopened.

Yiren gapes at you with wide eyes. “You’re not going to have it?” Neck hanging low, you shake your head, and you hear her gasp quietly. “Oh my gosh, you just turned down a Cola,” she mutters, grabbing a pillow and pushing it in your direction. “Okay now you need to tell me what’s going on.” She pauses, shuffling closer, adding softly, “It’s okay, you can cry.”

And just like that, the dam breaks and stray tears fall from your lashes as you clutch the pillow close to your chest, blubbering your mind away to your best friend.

“I don’t even get it—I thought I was over him?” you question aloud. “Like when I was with Renjun I was happy and I didn’t think about Minghao because Renjun was great and he was so nice but he just—” you choke back a sob and Yiren pats your back.

“But he left,” she murmurs softly and you want to cry harder because Yiren left too, but then you remind yourself of what Minghao said. Taking a deep breath, your wipe your face of your tears and although your lips still quiver, you start to speak.

“It’s okay,” you mutter, because it isn't like you haven’t cried over this before. “I just—I guess I haven’t really tried hard enough.”

“Tried to … what exactly?”

You huff, throwing your back onto the couch as you look up at the ceiling. “You know: get over him.”

Yiren chuckles a little, and even through your sniffles, you laugh with her. “What are you saying—you gonna fuck around now?”

“Maybe not fuck around,” you say, crossing your legs. “More like … have some fun.”

“So basically fuck around.”

“Yiren!”

“Oh c’mon—you need me to set you up with someone? My sister knows a lot of—”

You nudge her playfully. “What happened to ‘Ms. I Want Half of the Proceeds from your Wedding with Minghao?’”

“First of all,” Yiren waves a finger at you pointedly, “I only asked for 25%, but if you two can come back from this, I will be asking for at least 50% because I have been rooting for you two since day one.”

“Aren’t you the one who’s trying to set me up with other guys?”

“That’s only because you come first to me. Your relationship with Minghao—”

“The nonexistent one,” you correct and Yiren glares at you.

“Okay fine. Your nonexistent relationship with Minghao comes second. I want to see you happy. If you get to be happy with Minghao that’s just an added plus because, you know, 50% of all the gifts and—”

“You’re getting 25% max.”

“Don’t worry. There’s still time for plenty of negotiation and—”

“Yiren!”

You don’t live up to Yiren’s expectations—in her words, she wanted you to have a hot girl summer, but you couldn’t be bothered to go through with it. Well, sort of.

The next two months go along as your summers usually do. You take up a job near your apartment, working through the morning and afternoon, spending your evenings at home or occasionally out with Jianing.

Jianing doesn’t know much about anything when it comes to your (nonexistent) relationship with Minghao, and you figure she doesn’t need to. When you need a distraction, all it takes is a quick message asking her to accompany you for whatever endeavors you have going on for the night and she’s on board.

It’s a slow summer, but you don’t really mind. Not burdened with the stress of your classes and with Jun and Minghao gone for the next two months for their own performances and promotions, you have time to focus on yourself.

Occasional parties, indulging in hobbies, daily walks in the mornings, late nights of binge watching TV shows, outings with Jianing—it’s all a part of a simple routine that you’ve curated to do one thing, and one thing only: relax.

It’s only near the end of the summer, around three weeks before your classes are set to resume, that Jun calls you to let you know he’s coming home with Minghao. He seems pretty casual about it, and you’re reminded about how Minghao probably didn’t mention anything about your argument to your brother, which you’re thankful for.

It’s a passing thought that you’ll have to figure out how you want to act when you finally face him again. Whatever. That’s a problem for another time. Right now, you relax.

That problem for another time seems to have become a problem for now. Jun came home two days ago and things were alright—no run-ins to Minghao and you spend time with your brother like you usually do whenever he returns: with bickering and meals.

It’s only on the third day that things become a little … a little iffy. Your brother texts you in the evening to get ready quickly because he’s stopping by with Minghao for dinner at his place, and it’s all happening so quickly that you don’t have time to come up with an excuse.

So here you are, throwing on your sacred pink jacket because it’s the first thing in your vision, some old jeans, and waiting outside your apartment building much less enthusiastically than you’d like. It’s only a matter of minutes before your phone buzzes with a text from Jun letting you know he’s here and you see Minghao’s car pulling up in front of you.

Making your way to the back door where you usually sit with the two of them, you furrow your brows seeing Jun sitting in your usual spot.

“Sit in the front,” Jun orders when you go to open the back door, “I wanna lay down.” You shrug, making your way to the passenger seat as Jun settles into the back, resting his head on the window while kicking his legs up onto the other two seats.

“Hi,” you say quietly to Minghao who nods and speaks his own quick greeting, averting his attention to the wheel in front of him without much more than that.

“Please,” he huffs, watching Jun through the rear view mirror, “don’t put your shoes on the seats. I just had the car cleaned.” Jun clicks his tongue and kicks his shoes off, continuing to lay back in the seat as Minghao starts the car. The ride is silent as he drives toward the restaurant, both you and Jun on your phones while Minghao has his eyes trained on the road.

Once he parks in front of the place, you watch from the corner of your vision to see Minghao unbuckling his seatbelt before your brother speaks up.

“You guys can wait here, I’m gonna grab the food,” Jun says, slipping in his shoes and making his way to the restaurant, leaving you and Minghao in thickening silence. His hands are resting on his thighs and you press your head on the window, looking out as you try to focus on anything but this.

“Uh,” Minghao clears his throat, and you silently brace yourself for what he might say. “Nice jacket.”

Oh.

Glancing down at what you’re wearing, you twiddle with the hem of the familiar pink jacket. You wonder if this is Minghao’s way of holding out a figurative olive branch, and then you think harder about if you’re willing to accept it. “Thanks,” you reply, matting a hand over your hair before turning your attention to Jun who’s walking towards your car now.

Slipping into the back seat, he shakes the plastic bag in the air as he buckles himself in. “Takeout secured. Let’s go back to your place now,” Jun says, tapping on Minghao’s shoulder from behind. There’s an odd tension in the air, and you don’t doubt that Jun feels it, although he keeps his mouth shut about it.

No one says a word until Minghao is parking in his driveway and unlocking the front door. You follow behind the two of them, Jun grabbing the food as you enter Minghao’s house.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Jun asks, putting the takeout bag on the coffee table of the living room as you all begin to settle down.

You shrug off your coat as you say, “Uh, I have to go back to my place and go out for the afternoon and evening with Jianing. Me and her have this little monthly date day thing, and we’re going to the city.”

“Wha-a-a-t,” Jun drawls out, a frown etched onto his face. You narrow your eyes at him, shrugging.

“What? It’s not like you’re leaving right after tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but I’m not here for long. I wanted to do something tomorrow, since I might be doing stuff after that!” Jun whines, pointing at Minghao. “We might be going to this cool store and take some pictures and stuff.”

You huff, slightly annoyed as you flop down on a couch. “Okay well can’t you do that tomorrow then? I already have plans.”

Jun pouts, and if he wasn’t so on your nerves right now, you would poke some fun at him. “Why-y-y? You knew I was coming this week!”

“Well it’s not like I can clear my schedule for you. If you wanted to do something you should’ve told me earlier!”

“I let you know last week I was coming down!”

“Jun,” you say with a half laugh, noticing the way Minghao’s eyes have been flickering back and forth between you two through the whole conversation, “one week is not enough time to change some plans. I’ve been meeting with Jianing consistently at this time of month for over a year!”

“But still—”

“It’s not like if I showed up to Korea whenever the time’s convenient for me, you’d drop everything you’re doing to spend time with me!” you exclaim.

Jun’s fists ball at his side before he says, “That’s because my job is important and—”

“The stuff I do in my life might not seem important to you but it is very much important to me. Sorry I’ve made commitments to other people before I even knew you were coming, but I don’t know why you’d expect me to drop all my plans just for you. It’s not even like we aren’t going to see each other afterwards too.”

“Well I’d only hope that’s the case—I only ever see you once every few months so sorry for wanting to take some of your time.”

“Guys—” Minghao starts to say, standing between the two of you but when both you and Jun glare at him, he steps back.

“Do you think your time is worth more than mine or something?” you scoff at Jun, ignoring Minghao.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’m sorry, what exactly did you mean it like then?” you hiss.

Jun sucks in a breath between clenched teeth and runs a hand through his hair. “You know what I meant. Things are just—they’re different. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Right yeah. I won’t understand because I don’t have all these girls throwing themselves at me, making me think I’m entitled to everyone’s damn time.” Maybe you crossed a line with that one, but you’re too angry to care now. Hot tears well up in your lash line, threatening to fall any moment now.

“You were the one who was being a brat when you found out I was going to go to Korea in the first place!” Jun exclaims. “Fucking hell, why are you making such a big deal out of me wanting to spend some time with you now?”

Your face screws up into some kind of ugly frown at the words, and you clench your fists as your side. “A brat?” you repeat. “A brat? Is that seriously what you think of me?

“Well you did make a pretty damn big scene about me leaving, so yeah, maybe I do feel entitled to some of your time seeing that you were the one who was desperate for it in the first place.”

“Desperate? Are you kidding me—desperate? I was sixteen and you dumped the fact that you were moving away in like less than two months on me —of course I was upset but desperate? Well fuck you too I guess.” You punctuate the last word by turning on your heel, grabbing your coat off and marching past Minghao and over to the door.

You don’t hear Jun say anything after you do, and for that you are grateful because you don’t think you’ll be able to handle hearing his voice again. Walking out the foyer past the door, you stomp your way to your car, forcefully yanking the driver’s seat open and plopping yourself down with a heavy thud.

Without a word, you press your forehead against the steering and scream a loud and painful, “FUCK!” You can’t even remember a damn thing you or Jun said but all that throttles in your head is the word brat and you feel you might just pull the steering wheel off your stupid car and tear just about everything else apart too.

The prospect is pretty tempting, actually, and in your red, you continue to hit your head, albeit gently, against the wheel as you mutter incoherent curses to yourself. The thud of your skull against the smooth letter rings in your ears until it becomes all that you can hear, so loud that it almost drowns out the knocking sound that comes from outside.

“Holy shit!” you gasp, when you see Minghao from the corner of your vision, standing outside your car with his lips pressed into the thin line. Rolling down your windows, you grimace. “You fucking scared me so bad. Please never creep up on me like that again.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “Don’t fucking storm out like that again then,” Minghao says, and your eyes widen slightly when you hear his voice. It’s harder, firmer, more serious than you’ve ever heard before.

“What are you—”

“You can’t drive when it’s night and you’re sobbing—”

“I am not sobbing,” you fruitlessly choke out, wiping some tears off your cheek as you straighten your back and glare at him.

“Look I get you’re mad at Jun and all but can you please calm down and talk to me so—”

You let out a humorless laugh as you begin to roll your windows back up. “Don’t even get me started on you.”

Minghao clicks his tongue as he sticks a hand into your window to stop it from going up any further, looking sideways for a second before turning back to you. “Okay well I don’t want you to drive yourself home like this. It’s not safe.”

“I am not staying here tonight.”

“Then let me drive you home,” Minghao suggests and you open up to object but no words come out. “You agree? C’mon, step out.” You let out nothing more than a huff as you open the door, slipping out quickly and shuffling to the other side where you sit with your arms crossed over your chest, bottom lip jutting out into a pout.

Minghao has already taken your spot, hands on the same steering wheel that you were planning on smashing with your head just minutes ago. He’s quiet for a few moments as he backs out of the driveway and starts driving down the street, the car echoing nothing but your soft sniffles that haven’t seemed to stop.

When Minghao opens his mouth again, you’re bracing yourself for a round of chiding, but all that comes out is a one-word question. “Pop?” He takes your silence as a confirmation, and soon enough Minghao is pulling up to that same convenience store. “Do you want me to get it for you?” he asks after he’s parked in front of the convenience store.

You purse your lips together, finally letting yourself turn to look at him. You really want to be mad at him but when you catch the way his fingers are shoved into his pockets, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip as he awaits your answer, you start to realize that Minghao might be just as apprehensive about this as you are.

“It’s fine,” you mutter, unbuckling your seatbelt so you can get out, Minghao following you quickly.

You’re the first to walk in this time, grabbing a Cola for yourself before looking at Minghao with a raised brow. When he nods, you toss him another can and he makes his way to the cash register. He’s about to pull out his wallet when you’re brushing past him and getting there first, holding up your card to the machine proudly.

“Just because I don’t want to be in any more debt to you,” you murmur, handing Minghao a can after you’ve paid for them both. You lead the way, walking out of the door and slotting yourself into the passenger seat of your car and Minghao gets into the seat next to you, turning on the engine.

You’re still quiet when he starts driving towards your apartment building, and you think that this is the perfect chance for you to drown in the silence. Maybe if you pretend you’re alone, you’ll be able to forget about all the thoughts running through your mind.

Pressing your eyes shut, you slump down into your seat and just as you’re about to let your mind drift into the silence, you hear a familiar rattle of the snare and guitar bridge and your eyes snap open, staring at Minghao directly. He faces forward, eyes trained on the road as he pulls closer to the curb in front of your complex, sighing deeply when the car starts to slow down.

“What are you trying to do Minghao?” you finally say weakly, burying your face in your hands. “You—you’re playing Creep and you took me to get Cola and all you were supposed to do was take me home so—”

“Can I not try to make you feel better? I don’t want you to be upset, so I’m sorry if I’m trying to do the things I know you enjoy,” Minghao responds with a heavy breath, parking in front of your building just like that night he did when he picked you up from the bus stop after you met with Renjun.

The deep strumming of guitar and vibrations of the bass bounce off the walls of your car, and you slip into your seat as the words of the song sink in.‘What the hell am I doing here?’ Glancing up at Minghao, your vision grows blurry. “Minghao …” your voice is quiet and strained when you call for him, and in that moment, you know.

All those years ago when you wanted to kiss him and hold him and pull him close, but you didn’t because you were scared. When you wanted to let your tongues collide and tug at his hair, but you didn’t because you had so much to lose.

You still have so much to lose, but you’re not scared anymore.

And it seems Minghao isn’t either.

Tonight, you get to taste the lingering drops of Cola on his tongue. You get to feel his arms fumbling over the armrest, slipping around your waist and yanking you onto his lap. You get to hold his neck and let your fingers sit in his hair. You get to indulge.

Minghao’s mouth is hot against yours, tongue lapping at your bottom lip when you take a sacred moment to breathe on top of him before your eyes are fluttering back shut and your lips mold into one once again. He hugs you so close you don’t know how you can still breathe, don’t know how your bones don’t melt into each other in this burning moment.

Your lips work fervently to slide against each other in a wet, calculated mess that has you whimpering into Minghao’s mouth when one of his hands cups your jaw. His thumb is soft against your cheekbone when he tilts your head to the side so that your noses brush against either and his lips delve deeper into the caverns of your mouth.

You don’t know how long you two go at it, fingers grappling at whatever skin you can, Minghao’s hand brushing under your shirt and stroking the plush of your hips. And when you feel like you can’t breathe anymore because your heart is so full, you pull away, letting the thin string of saliva connect your shiny lips.

Your brain is foggy and you and Minghao simply sit in the comfortable silence. Well, almost comfortable silence.

You shouldn’t try to depend on anyone.

“W-wait,” you stutter when Minghao leans forward in hopes to catch your lips in another fleeting kiss. “Oh my god,” you mutter to yourself, pushing his shoulders back against the seat as you try to shuffle off his lap.

Minghao holds your waist tightly, but you break free of the grasp. “What are you doi—hey, wait a sec!”

“You said you’re trying to make me feel better but you just did exactly the opposite,” you scoff, slipping on your coat as you push the car door open.

“What are you talking abo—” You cut him off by slamming the door, and Minghao quickly grabs your keys and follows after you. “Slow down.”

You whip around to face him, tears streaming down your face for what feels nth time tonight. “Look, you left like two months ago spewing all this stuff about how I should be independent but the second you come back you act like you’re trying so hard to make me feel better and stuff and then—” You take a deep breath, “—then we makeout and you—fuck I don’t know, I don’t know what you expect from me! Do you just expect me to forget about this and not get upset when you leave again?” you choke out. “Just keep my keys and drive yourself back to your place. I’ll pick up my car later,” you mutter.

“Can you stop doing this? It’s just like what happened last time, and I don’t want to have to leave if you’re—if we’re not okay.”

“What ‘we?’ Weren’t you the one who told me to not expect anyone to stay? I’m not going to do this ‘we’ and ‘us’ thing with someone who is just going to leave all over again. I’m not going to expect you to stay.”

“Look, I just don’t want this to be hanging over your head when I’m gone.”

Ironic, you think to yourself. You want to tell Minghao that he’s been hanging over your head ever since you met him all those years ago, but you bite back the words.

“Minghao,” you say, your voice strained and tired, “I’m already exhausted and my brain isn’t working so can you please just give me my space.”

And if Minghao is one thing, it’s not pushy, and you know that this is all it takes to get him to back off. Though, you don’t miss the way his face falls as he steps back quietly.

“See you,” he mutters through gritted teeth as he turns on his heel, and you can’t tell if you’re relieved or bothered by the way he leaves so silently.

You don’t see Minghao or Jun after that night. They’rewere  supposed to leave for Korea in the next four days, and so you spend those four days lodged up in your apartment, not leaving unless absolutely necessary—you’re scared that you might run into one of them, as pathetic as that sounds.

Jun doesn’t text you and you don’t text him. It’s a bit abnormal, you two communicate at least once every two days, if not more. It’s a bit of an unspoken rule, but now that you’re both hot-headed and very much not in the right mind, you figure some rules are meant to be broken.

It’s two days after Jun and Minghao were scheduled to leave, the only confirmation that you got that they actually did leave being the group picture at the airport your father sent to the family group chat.

Jianing comes to your apartment when you finally call her over, quickly picking up on your sullen state.

“I don’t get it,” she says with a shrug after you explain to her everything that happened between you and Jun and Minghao.

“Well yeah, I guess you don’t, but this has been going on for a while,” you reply begrudgingly, sinking into your couch as she stares at you blankly from your armchair.

“Just—I dunno—talk to them?”

You give her a funny look. “How?” you groan, throwing your head back. “They won’t be back for like a month at least, and I don’t want to call them.”

“I forget they’re famous sometimes” Jianing mutters, rolling her eyes, and you laugh at the comment.

“You and me both,” you say, straightening your back.

“But still, I don’t get it. I mean just visit them?” she suggests casually.

“I can’t just fly up to Korea unannounced!” you exclaim, bewildered.

Jianing rolls her eyes at you and you frown. “Why not? I mean you just said this might go on for a while if you don’t talk to them so I don’t get it. Just go see them.”

YOURS TRULY

you: chan i need ur help [8:13 AM] chan: this is ur first time texting me in three months [8:15 AM] chan: so i am going to assume this is pretty important [8:15 AM] you: i’m at incheon airport [8:16 AM] chan: what [8:17 AM] you: what [8:17 AM] chan: jun didn’t say anything about u coming??! [8:19 AM] you: DON’T TELL HIM [8:19 AM] chan: what … [8:20 AM] you: i’m surprising him [8:20 AM] chan: ????? [8:21 AM] chan: who knows [8:21 AM] you: um you do [8:21 AM] chan: thank u [8:22 AM] chan: so what do u need [8:22 AM] you: can u pick me up [8:23 AM] chan: i don’t have a choice do i [8:24 AM] you: nope :3 [8:24 AM]

When black SUV stops in front of you by the curb at the airport, you smile brightly, waving at the driver as the windows begin to roll down. You’re about to chirp a quick, “Hi Chan!” but the words get caught in your throat when you see who’s driving.

“Jeonghan?” you ask confusedly. He waves at you from the front seat, and Chan sticks his head in from the back to look at you through the window.

“I’m sorry!” he exclaims, opening the door to help you pull in your suitcase and get situated into the back seat. “Look, I tried to leave without anyone noticing but they saw me so I told them I was going to the gym, but he said he wanted to come and —” Chan glares at the man in the passenger seat, “— I don’t even know why since he hasn’t gone to the gym in ages—”

“Watch it Chan!” Jeonghan calls out from the front as the cat starts to move, pulling an eye roll out of the boy sitting next to you.

“Whatever. Basically, I had no choice but to bring him along and tell them I was actually picking you up.”

“You guys didn’t tell Jun, did you?” you ask worriedly.

“I—no,” Jeonghan says. “And even if we tried, he won’t be awake for another hour or whatever. That’s besides the point anyways—Chan is terrible at lying.”

“You caught me off guard! I wasn’t expecting to see anyone this morning, so I didn’t have any excuses prepared …” Chan huffs, sinking into his seat as you glance back and forth between them nervously.

“Thank you for trying anyways,” you say sincerely, adjusting in your seat. “I know this was all really sudden but I didn’t plan anything out and I kinda ended up here before I could even process anything,” you add.

“Hey, Minghao was telling us about these really good cupcakes you make—if you have time, can you bake them for us?” Chan asks, out of the blue.

You give him a funny look and then smile. “Sure, if I have the time. I’d like to—they told me Mingyu tries to make them for you guys.”

“Yeah! That would—”

“Thank you, but I’m going to assume that you are here for a reason other than making us your infamous cupcakes,” Jeonghan says, merging onto the freeway.

“As much as I’d love for that to be why I’m here, you’re right,” you mutter, resting your head against the headrest.

“Is everything alright?” Jeonghan asks.

As you’re about to respond, Chan chimes in. “This is about Jun, isn’t it?”

“Ai—Channie, don’t jump to conclusions,” Jeonghan reprimands but Chan shakes his head, holding his hand up as he turns to you with wide eyes.

“No, no, I’m not assuming anything. I’m right, aren’t I?” Partly. Chan continues. “Well it’s just—I can kinda tell. He’s being a little snappier. Jeonghan wouldn’t know but—“

Jeonghan gives Chan a warning look through the rear view mirror. “What do you mean I wouldn’t know?”

“Hannie, just listen to me. So me and Soonyoung and Minghao and Jun have been practicing at night right—for that next performance—and you know that Jun has a bit of a temper, especially in the night, but I don’t know—it’s just been different recently.”

You stifle a scoff when Chan mentions Jun having a short temper, looking out the window hoping no one heard. Jun does have a bit of a fiery streak, but the truth is that you’re just as sporadic as him.

Fire meets fire. Huh, wonder what that makes. More fire, probably. That’s what got you here, isn’t it? Unfortunately.

“Has, uh,” you pause wondering if you should ask this, but curiosity does kill the cat, after all. “Has Minghao seemed … off?”

Jeonghan narrows his eyes at you. “What’s Minghao got to do with this? Did something happen with him too?” Curse that emotionally intelligent man.

Chan eyes flicker between the ground and you. “It’s hard to tell when Minghao is upset. He seems normal even when he’s upset so I can’t really tell … why though?”

“Just—just a lot of stuff. I think I need to see them both. Separately.”

Jeonghan nods, pursing his lips together before responding, “Do you need our help?”

Jeonghan takes you to his apartment first so you have a moment to drop your suitcase off somewhere, and you get to say hi to Seungkwan who you’re pretty sure didn’t even recognize you in his drowsy state.

“Where’re we going?” you ask when you get back outside of the building heading towards the car.

“C’mon, let’s walk,” Chan says, pulling you away from the car.

“Jun’s apartment building is just down the street here,” Jeonghan explains. “He should be sleeping right now, so just wake him up.”

“Are you kidding me? He might kill me!” you complain with a frown.

Chan huffs, “Well you did come here unannounced and without a plan, so you don’t have much of a choice anyways.”

You chew on your lip as you fruitlessly try to come up with an answer, sighing in defeat when you come up with nothing.

“Exactly,” Jeonghan concludes, stopping in front of a building that’s built similar to his. “Anyways, his suite number is 345 on the third floor. You should know the code to his apartment right?”

You nod, but then shake your head. “I know it, but I think I’ll just knock until he wakes up. He might actually kill me if someone shows up inside his home unannounced.”

Chan laughs at that when the two of you lead you to the elevator of this new building. “That, he might.”

“So encouraging,” you mutter, sticking your tongue out at them as the elevator door opens. “Anyways, thank you for helping me, really. I’ll make cupcakes if I make it out of this alive,” you promise while you step in.

“You better!” Jeonghan calls out as the doors slide shut and the elevator begins to take you up.

It’s now, when you’re alone, that it all begins to sink in. You’re in Korea. You’re about to see Jun. You might die—okay maybe you’re being a little dramatic, but you aren’t sure what to do with yourself so your mind is jumping towards the worst possible scenario as you reach the third floor and make your way to his apartment.

You stand in front of room 345 for a few moments once you arrive, not even sure if you’ll manage to go through with this. What the fuck are you even going to say?

(Un?)fortunately, you have a tendency to not think before you act, and before you have a second of thought your knuckles are rapping against the door. It’s silent for a moment and you wonder if you should go again.

Taking a deep breath, you continue knocking on the door at a steady rate before you hear soft footsteps growing louder in volume until they stop at the door. You hold your breath and let your hand fall, fisting it at your sides in anticipation.

When you see the door crack open, a wave of relief washes over you. But when you see Jun’s blank face as he looks down on you, a new sense of uneasiness takes over.

“What are you doing in my apartment?” Ah, how nostalgic.

“So cold. You aren’t going to let me in?”

Jun rolls his eyes, and you grow more anxious because you can’t tell if he’s being playful or not. He steps to the side though, and you quickly slip through the door so he can close and lock it behind you.

“What are you doing here?” he reiterates and you feel your tongue go dry.

“Uh, Chan told me that you’re being—well—how do I put this?” you mutter to yourself, rocking back and forth on your feet.

“Difficult?” Jun guesses, bitterness laced in the word and you cringe at the tone.

“I guess.”

“I don’t think you came all the way to Korea just because Chan told you I was being difficult.”

“I, uh, I talked to Jianing about it when she visited and … I guess I felt I should come see you.”

“So if Jianing didn’t talk to you about this, then you just wouldn’t have talked about it?” Jun asks harshly and you glare at him.

“Well it’s not like you would’ve come talk to me about it either,” you retort, and Jun goes quiet at them. “And Jianing didn’t make this decision for me, by the way, I made it all by myself.”

“Okay well you’re here now. What is it?” An uncomfortable silence sits between you two. “If you only came here to just stand there and stare off into space then—”

“Jun, please shut your mouth for like one minute,” you mutter, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I-I wanted to apologize. That night I … I was on edge.” Jun watches you intently as you finally meet his gaze. “There was a lot running through my mind and I was just—just fucking annoyed at everything and I took everything you said the worst way.”

A feeling of worry climbs up your throat—you and Jun don’t often apologize, at least not like this. Apologies usually come in the form of figurative olive trees—you buy him a LEGO set, he buys you a gift card to your favorite cafe, or something among that. Then again, this isn’t your usual argument with Jun, and maybe sometimes resorting to more traditional methods are most effective.

Jun sighs softly, not looking at you, and you grow worried that he’s even more angry than you anticipated. You brace yourself for his next possible words. “I … I did say some mean stuff too. I’m sorry—I just—I have a shitty temper. You know that. Chan probably told you that too.” Jun is silent for a second before continuing. “Is … is everything okay?”

The question isn’t quite what you’re expecting and you press your lips together tightly because you want to cry. You want to let the tears stream down your cheeks and tell Jun that you have no idea but also the perfect idea of what you’re doing and it’s all jumbled up mess in your head.

“I guess—I mean, I hate fighting with you,” you admit. “But, that’s why I came here and we didn’t say goodbye the last time and I know that was partly my fault but also I missed you.”

“But are you okay?”

“Jun—”

“Because I know you’re stubborn—it really is annoying sometimes but I’m not one to complain,” he adds with a huff, “and I know you’re a little weird—”

You both laugh and you point a finger at him, “Watch it—you and me both.”

“Whatever,” he says lightly before turning to a more serious tone. “But I never thought we’d fight again like that one time two years ago and—”

“Why does everyone keep bringing that up!? Yiren said that too,” you sigh.

“To make a point. Which, by the way, is me going back to asking you if everything’s okay. I just … I know that you’re a little crazy but I never thought that you’d fly over here for something that we could probably sort out over the phone. Not that I’m not glad to see you here, I mean, I am, I’m just … worried.”

“I kissed Minghao,” you blurt out, immediately slapping a hand over your mouth after you do.

“What?!” Jun’s eyes go wide for a moment before he relaxes a little. “Is that what’s been up with you?”

“What do you mean ‘up with me?’”

“Moody. Cranky. Like you’re in high school again.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You chew on your lip as you try to read Jun’s expression. He doesn’t seem mad nor happy nor confused, and you’re running out of emotions to label him under.

“I knew you liked him in high school, you know. Thin walls, plus Yiren is loud as hell.”

“Ugh, I always told her to keep it down! She didn’t believe me!”

“Doesn’t matter now. What you or him do isn’t much of my business anyways,” Jun mutters, awkwardly stuffing his hands in the pockets of his hoodies. “I mean I guess it is, if it makes you all upset and not okay like this,” he continues.

You can tell he’s encouraging you to explain more, and you press your eyes together trying to figure what and what not you should say. “Has Minghao … has he seemed different?”

“I mean not really, but also it’s hard to tell with him because—” Your whole finger droops and Jun quickly places a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, what is this about? Did something happen? You know you can tell me.”

“It’s a lot,” you confess. “I don’t know, I-I came here to talk to the both of you but I haven’t even thought about what to say to him. I kind of booked my tickets last night.”

“Last night?!”Jun exclaims. “Are you stupid or what?”

“Maybe I am!” you murmur, slapping your palm against your forehead. Jun looks down at your pained expression and frowns.

“You’re not going to tell me what happened, are you?”

“What happened to, ‘I don’t care what you guys do it isn’t my business?’”

“Well it is my business if you’re upset! I’m the only person who’s allowed to be a bitch to you.”

“Well ditto to you too!” You follow with a sigh. “I think I just need to talk to him.”

“He’s at the gym right now. Do you want to get coffee instead?”

“Hogging me all to yourself? I know you missed me but don’t you think this is a little unfair—I’d like to at least say hi to the others first. Or maybe have some time to sleep. I kind of got here at like seven in the morning.”

“Be grateful! I’m actually looking out for you, because they’ll literally hound you, plus I want to make up for not spending time with you last time I visited.”

You grin at the words, rolling your eyes playfully. “Fine. But you’re paying.”

“When do I not pay for you?”

“Loads of times!”

“That’s because you insist on paying for yourself.”

“Irrelevant!” you exclaim triumphantly, waving a fist in the air before Jun locks his arm around your neck and traps you in a headlock. Good times.

“We have afternoon practice, then recording in the studio in the evening, but we should be done by like eight,” Jun explains, taking a picture of the coffee in front of him.

“Must you take a picture of everything?” you sigh, taking a sip of your own drink. Jun rolls his eyes, flicking your knee from under the table.

“I am a celebrity. I kinda need to keep records of everything I do.”

“Okay well I’m your sister and I kinda need you to help me talk to Minghao.”

“Just like—I dunno—find him and talk to him. Can’t be that hard.”

“You—ugh, you’re just like Jianing,” you groan. “No help!”

“Okay fine, fine. What do you want me to do? Corner him? Lock him into a closet and keep him there so you can talk to him? Force him to—”

“Junnie what the hell,” you mutter, slapping a hand to your forehead. “I think I’m just going to have to ask Jeonghan and Chan for help again because—”

“Okay no. I’ll help. What do you need me to do?”

“Have you been listening to me? Tell me when and where I can talk to him!”

“Well I already suggested the closet but you turned that down so—”

“Jun.”

“We can try the meeting room? He’s there a lot and it’s usually empty in the evenings. He responds to emails and shit there, I don’t know, so you won’t be interrupting much.”

“You sure it’ll work?”

Jun cocks an eyebrow up. “You don’t trust me?” You kick him under the table and he winces. “Okay yes, yes, it’ll work so would you stop kicking—hey! I said stop kicking!”

“We have afternoon practice, then recording in the studio in the evening, but we should be done by like eight,” Jun explains, taking a picture of the coffee in front of him.

“Must you take a picture of everything?” you sigh, taking a sip of your own drink. Jun rolls his eyes, flicking your knee from under the table.

“I am a celebrity. I kinda need to keep records of everything I do.”

“Okay well I’m your sister and I kinda need you to help me talk to Minghao.”

“Just like—I dunno—find him and talk to him. Can’t be that hard.”

“You—ugh, you’re just like Jianing,” you groan. “No help!”

“Okay fine, fine. What do you want me to do? Corner him? Lock him into a closet and keep him there so you can talk to him? Force him to—”

“Junnie what the hell,” you mutter, slapping a hand to your forehead. “I think I’m just going to have to ask Jeonghan and Chan for help again because—”

“Okay no. I’ll help. What do you need me to do?”

“Have you been listening to me? Tell me when and where I can talk to him!”

“Well I already suggested the closet but you turned that down so—”

“Jun.”

“We can try the meeting room? He’s there a lot and it’s usually empty in the evenings. He responds to emails and shit there, I don’t know, so you won’t be interrupting much.”

“You sure it’ll work?”

Jun cocks an eyebrow up. “You don’t trust me?” You kick him under the table and he winces. “Okay yes, yes, it’ll work so would you stop kicking—hey! I said stop kicking!”

You twiddle your thumbs nervously behind your back as you wait in the elevator with Jeonghan. Jun had to take care of something with one of the other members, so he sent you off with the older boy to take you to the meeting room.

“He’ll be there, don’t worry,” Jeonghan tells you as he pats your shoulder lightly. “I just checked his location and I’m positive he’s there right now.”

“Thanks,” you say with a sigh, shifting your weight from leg to leg, “but I’m more worried about what I’m going to say. I think you already know but I planned like zero percent of this.”

“It’s becoming increasingly evident, unfortunately,” Jeonghan admits when the elevator dings and the door opens onto a floor full of rooms. “You’ll figure it out, I’m sure, seeing as you’re just like Jun.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jeonghan chuckles and leads you to a door a few steps down the hallway, pointing to it. “Don’t worry about it. He’ll be in there. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be down on floor three making some ramen,” he says cheerily, waving at you before retreating to elevatory before you have even a moment to protest.

So now you’re left with nothing but yourself and yet another door. This time, instead of knocking your life away, your hand is pressed against the knob as you debate whether or not you should turn it or not.

Once again, your body acts without your mind and you’re quietly opening the door and poking your head through the crack. Inside is Minghao with headphones over his ears, sitting at the end of a long table with his head crooked down as he scrolls through his lap top.

He doesn’t hear you, but you aren’t sure if it’s for the better or the worse. In some ways, you still have a chance to run, but in others, you’ll have to call out to him if you want him to notice you. Gulping, you realize that you’ve been too scared for too long and so you clear your throat.

“Minghao,” you call out.

It only takes a second for his eyes to shoot up, hands flying to his headphones to take them off as he takes in the sight of you in front of him. You’re at opposite ends of the room right now, and you nervously shut the door behind you as you finally meet his gaze.

“What are you doing here?”

“I—” You inhale sharply. “—I don’t know. I just think we both needed to talk.”

You can see him visibly gulp as he stands up, and looks away as if trying to figure out what he should do with himself.

“Shit,” he mutters under his breath, dread washing over you.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out, face burning. “I know I just showed up like this without warning and I know that’s not fair so if you don’t want to talk you know I totally get it and—” you start to blabber so fast you hardly notice him walking over and down the length of the table, “—I just really wanted to see you and talk to you but I couldn’t do it over the phone because—”

“Slow down,” Minghao says firmly, now standing in front of you as he gazes down with wide eyes. “Is everything okay? When did you come here—wait, did you come here just to talk to me?”

“Well yeah. And Jun.”

“Are you okay?” Minghao asks softly. “This doesn’t seem like you.”

You wince at the familiar words but shake it off. “I know, I just had so much to say and I’m sorry because you were right, and when you said you didn’t want this hanging over my head I was angry and I thought I could ignore this and ignore you but I was wrong and just really needed to sort things out. And the night you picked me up after Renjun and all—I know you told me to not depend anyone or anything—and I know I’m not listening to you right now and I don’t want you to be disappointed but—”

“Stop,” Minghao says, holding a hand up. “Disappointed? I—please don’t think that. The stuff I said that night was …” he sighs before continuing. “You were so upset that night because you didn’t have us around and I felt so bad but also, there wasn’t anything I could do about that.”

“I …” your eyebrows knit together as you try to find the right words. “… I know that. I didn’t mean to make it feel like you had to change anything, or that it was your fault.”

“I know and—”

“Wait, please hear me out. I don’t want to ever make you think that I blame you or Jun for leaving—I-I’m so happy for you guys you don’t understand. I was just … I was bitter,” you admit. “And I was jealous of you because you get to be around my own brother more than me and … I guess I was also jealous of Jun because he gets to be around you so often too.”

You finish your confession by burying your face in your hands, face heating up as you can only imagine the look on his face. He says your name softly, and you peek up at him through the gap between your fingers.

“Hey, no, I get it. I mean, I guess I don’t exactly understand how you’re feeling but I don’t blame you either.”

“I wrote you a letter,” you blurt out, a hand digging into your pocket as it toys around with the folded paper inside. Minghao raises a brow, and you pull it out and hold it in front of him. “Right after you guys left,” you explain as he takes the paper from your hand, carefully unfolding it. “Don’t open it now! That’s … embarrassing. Just read it when I’m not here or something because I might just die out of humiliation.”

When Minghao chuckles, you feel some of the tension in your shoulders dissolve. “Noted,” he murmurs, tucking it into the pocket of his sweats before turning his attention back to you with a more serious expression which has your stomach tying up in knots.

“You know how my job is. I can’t promise how often I’ll be home and when I’ll be able to make time and I know that people leaving hurt you so much and … I guess I just didn’t want to give you hope that I would be able to give you a ‘normal’ relationship, because I can’t, even though I want to. I think when I told you all that, I just—fuck—I hoped that you’d be able to focus on someone better for you.”

You want to cry and tell him that you don’t want someone ‘better,’ but choose to save those words for a different time. “T-then why’d you kiss me that night?” you ask quietly.

“I—” Minghao pauses, looking down as he searches for what he’s about to say. “I only have so much self control.”

You chew on your lip, debating if you should frown or grin at his statement. “So you—you wanted to kiss me?” Minghao responds in a heartbeat.

“Of course I did,” and then he clears his throat, “I wanted to for a while. I still do.”

Chuckling nervously, you start to say, “I don’t kn—”

The air is successfully sucked from your lungs when Minghao slides his hand around your neck, angling your jaw up with his gentle thumb. You think you might just go dizzy from the way he’s touching you until his warm mouth presses against yours, and this is the moment you feel every last muscle in your body let go.

He kisses you softer than the first time, his tongue running against your bottom lip for only a moment before you let your hand grip at his torso instinctively. “Sorry,” Minghao murmurs sheepishly when he breaks away. “Told you. Only so much self control.”

“I-I won’t complain,” you admit quickly, and though you let your hand drop to your side, Minghao keeps his where it is: cradling your cheek. He’s quiet for a moment before whispering again, and the words make your face burn and your heart fly around in circles.

“Can I kiss you again?”

“M-Ming—hao,” you whine, hands fisting the linen beneath you. A string of slick connects his mouth to your glistening folds, tethering him down to you even as he lifts his face. His eyes stare down at the slobbering mess between your legs, ignoring your soft chanting of his name before diving back down to close his mouth around your clit.

“Tastes so good,” he groans into you, hot breath fanning down on your folds as he licks fat stripes up and down into your cunt. One of his large hands reaches up and you instinctively guide it so that he can grasp one of your tits, squeezing tightly as your back arches into him.

“Fuck—Hao!” you cry out, when he peels his mouth away from you again. He looks up at you with heavy lidded eyes and a shiny wet chin and bright grin. “Was s’close … s’close,” you whimper, as he presses kisses on the inside of your thighs, licking and nipping at the soft flesh.

“I know baby, I know, but I wanna cum with you,” Minghao murmurs against your skin before crawling up onto his arms and over you. Your eyes flutter shut as he presses his lips against yours, sliding his tongue against yours fiercely.

Moaning at the taste of yourself, you wind your arms around his neck to pull his burning body flush against yours, grinding upwards in a determined mess to make sure the remnants of your almost-orgasm don’t ebb away.

You feel his hard length prodding against the inside of your thigh as Minghao shifts above you, adjusting his hands so they’re resting by your head when he finally pulls away, panting. Black hair sticking to his sweat-slick forehead, cheeks flushed, lips swollen—you don’t think you’ll ever get used to seeing Minghao like this.

You gasp loudly when you feel his cock brush against your already sensitive folds, burying your face into the crook of his neck as he runs one hand up and down your body. “Spread your legs a little,” he mutters, tapping at your knee so that you raise your thighs so he can settle better between you.

You’re about to egg him on and tell him to speed it up but then Minghao is punching the air out of your lungs in one ruthless thrust, forcing his fat cock into you in one go.

You’re in such a haze right now, you almost forget that you’ll have to face your brother and parents in less than an hour. Minghao and Jun were, after all, going back to Korea today, but your pre-orgasmic state pushes away the nasty thought of having to say goodbye to your boyfriend and brother so soon after having them to yourself.

It wasn’t easy, of course—the first few months after you came back home from Korea with the title of being Minghao’s girlfriend hanging above your head. It was what he’d been most worried about, when he first asked you to make things official the night before you left.

“I know what I’m doing Minghao, trust me.”

And trust you, he did. He trusted you when you were kids, when he was just your brother’s best friend, when you called him (almost) every night, and he trusts you now, as he’s ramming his cock into you.

Gripping onto his back tightly, you lodge your bottom lip between your teeth as you feel the rough drag of Minghao’s cock against your walls when he pulls his hips back halfway before pounding himself back in.

“God, fuck—I’m gonna miss this so much,” he grunts, punctuating his last word with an especially harsh thrust that has your body lurching against the sheets.

“M-me too,” you gasp, forcing your eyes open so you can watch the way his neck is strained and eyes are dilated as Minghao looks down at you.

“Yeah?” Minghao chuckles between heavy breaths, using one hand to cup your jaw while the other goes down to pinch at your clit. The touch against your sensitive nub as your mouth goes wide as you whine into Minghao’s mouth, lips swallowing up your loud moans while he kisses you.

Tongue and teeth meet in a clashing mess as you struggle to hold onto your last bit of sanity, his rough movements against your clit now turning to more a sharp and calculated circular motion that has you clenching around his cock.

“Minghao, fuck—” Your curse is cut off by the obnoxious ringing of your phone from the nightstand. Minghao groans, stilling his movements while his cock is pressed balls deep inside of you as he reaches over and grabs it.

“Just hang up,” you instruct but Minghao sighs, holding it up to show you the caller ID. Rolling your eyes, you grab the phone and hold it up to ear as you try and calm down your erratic breaths.

“Jun, I’m kind of busy—”

“I don’t care. Just make sure you guys come in like the next hour,” Jun says into the phone before pausing. “Why are you breathing like—ew. Gross. Forget I ever called. Well, don’t forget what I said, but you get the point. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to vomit now.”

Your phone beeps before the call cuts and you throw it to the side, clutching Minghao’s face to smash his lips on yours. “You heard him,” you mumble into his lips. “We don’t have a lot of time …”

Minghao sighs heavily, pressing his forehead to yours when you pull your lips away and glance down at the wet mess where his cock slams into your cunt. You feel your orgasm creep up on you again, tickling your stomach and spreading through your bones as you begin to squirm beneath him.

“Fuck, I’m close,” you moan, starting to lift your hips weakly to meet his thrusts while Minghao presses wet kisses to your collarbone. Your skin feels like it’s on fire and every snap of his hips is sending you closer and closer to the edge until you feel his cock twitch inside of you, triggering the storm to clock in on you. “‘m cumming—fuck, Hao, feels s’good. Feel s‘full,” you mewl when his eyes finally meet yours and you let go.

Your limbs convulse in a haphazard mess as a long awaited orgasm racks through your body, the waves of pleasure only heightening when you feel Minghao’s thick spurts of cum shoot through your swollen cunt. He weakly thrusts into you for a few final moments until you’re both in a buzzing, overstimulated haze, his body going limp when he finally collapses on top of you.

“Do you think we have time for another—” Minghao begins to ask, lifting his head to look at you when you lightly smack a hand over his head.

“Minghao, this is our third round,” you groan when he slips out of you, rolling off of you so you have room to cool down.

“And? I’m not going to see you for at least another month,” he whines, squeezing your cheek from the side.

Pressing a kiss to the side of his cheek, you murmur, “I wish we could but you heard Jun. We need to shower, still …”

Minghao rolls his eyes, propping himself up on his arms, eyes flickering between you and the shower before smirking. “So … are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“You horndog,” you scoff, sitting up straight as Minghao gets up from the bed. He turns to you, an eyebrow raised.

“So is that a yes or a no?”

Giggling, you kick the covers off and follow after him. “Only if you’re quick with it.”

Minghao grabs your arm, yanking you close to him as you stumble into the bathroom. “I love you,” he murmurs, your tits pressing close to his chest.

“I love y—” The words melt on your tongue before they can be heard, Minghao’s mouth engulfing your breath.

You’ll really have to apologize to Jun for being late.

“You have everything? Your tickets?” you ask as you lean against the doorframe. You’re both standing outside your parents house right now, waiting for Jun to finish his last bit of packing (why he was so insistent on you two coming quickly when even he wasn’t ready is still a mystery to you) so you can call over the van to take them to the airport.

Minghao shrugs at you, pulling out his wallet to look through the pockets to double check. As he’s shuffling through them, a familiar piece of paper sticks out and grabs your attention. “You keep my letter in your wallet?”

Minghao nods, seemingly unbothered by your surprise. “Yeah. Where else would I keep it?”

“Well, I don’t know but—”

“It’s a cute letter!” Minghao reasons. “And I like having it with me. Like a little good luck charm.”

You press a kiss to his cheek when he says that, but continue to say, “I don’t get what’s so cute about me getting drunk and writing to you.”

“Okay that part, I don’t like. Seriously. Underage drinking is not cool,” Minghao mutters. “But the rest of the letter is pretty nice I guess,” he teases, tucking his wallet back into his pocket.

“Pretty nice?” you scoff, trying to snatch the wallet back from him to grab your letter. He swipes it away too quickly though, and you’re left pawing at his chest to try and get it back. “You don’t deserve that letter! I put my heart and soul into it!”

“Heart and soul? I think you mean you poured five shots of vodka into it.” You frown deeply, and Minghao relaxes his shoulders. “Okay I’m sorry—you know I love the letter.”

“Do I?” you huff stubbornly, looking at the ground.

Minghao traces a hand down your face and tilts your chin upwards. “C’mon look at me,” he murmurs, and you begrudgingly meet his gaze. “I love the letter.” He pecks you on the lips. ��Do you believe me now?”

“You might have to kiss me one more time for that.”

Minghao grins and presses his lips on yours again, a little harder this time. “Good now?”

“Yes—you got lucky.”

“Okay good … but just for extra measures, I have something that might sweeten the deal,” Minghao tells you, pulling a folded paper out of his pocket and handing it to you. Carefully, you take it and unravel it, glancing over the words.

There’s a lot—like a lot—and Minghao’s face flushes as you skim over the paragraphs he wrote, slapping a hand over the paper. “Okay don’t read it in front of me!” he whines, and you beam because history has a tendency to repeat itself.

“Fine, fine,” you sigh, looking down at it one more time when your eyes catch a little note at the bottom.

Pursing your lips, you glance up and find Minghao watching you with wide eyes and a bright smile, and you can’t help but fling yourself into his arms. Your heart swells when you feel him wrap his hands around you rightly pulling him close as the words cast their imprint into your mind.

You’re happy. So, so, so happy.

Yours truly, Xu Minghao (weirdo)

P.S. I love you.

a/n. okay wow i can't believe this is done ... genuinely put so much into this fic i hope u all enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! i definitely might be writing more about these two bc i loved them so much😭 i had like 2 more ideas for a smut in mind but decided not to add them but if you'd be interested in reading them, i might post them as a oneshot/bonus, so lmk what you're interested in! please reblog if u did, and let me know ur thoughts—it would mean a lot to me :3

tags. @synthetickitsune @ixayjun @leejihoonownsmyheart @dahliatopia @gyuswhore @hoeforcheol @5xiang @hajimelvr @miriamxsworld @blinkjunhui @lixiel0ver @josefines-things @mimisxs @ming-h0e @kawennote09 @bbyjjunie @junhui-recs @ichorjeon (strikethrough could not be tagged)

[paper-cloud]

i. the crushing weight of what happens next

part of "(there will be a) tomorrow"

fandom: prospect (2018) characters: ezra, cee rating: T words count: ~3K context: post-canon general warnings/tags: see series masterlist warnings/tags for this chapter: ezra's pov. angst. not graphic descriptions of wounds, blood and amputated limbs. mentions of minor characters' death. (probably very) inaccurate but anyways vague descriptions of medical treatments and post-anesthesia symptoms. taglist: @ravensmutty @buttercup--bee @thegreenkid (again, thank you all for your interest and encouragement! :3) @krissology @ezrasarm @bonktime (please forgive my nerve, i won't tag you in the next chapters unless you'll explicitly ask me to! just thought about someone else who might be interested and you guys are AMAZINGLY talented and inspiring "prospect"/ezra writers. it's not my intention to waste precious moments of your time! 🤡

[SERIES MASTERLIST] [MAIN MASTERLIST]

He'd have thought it was almost ironic – opening his eyes to the light only to see nothing. To feel pain.

He'd have laughed about it, most likely. A bit later, he'd have acknowledged it was a reasonably fair compromise; for him and any other wretch that'd ever dared play dice with darkness and miraculously made it out alive.

And in the very end he'd come to laugh at himself, too.

He knows the drill. Someone who trades their own life with the contract of the highest bidder doesn't see the universe in black and white, let alone is in a position to draw the hypothetical line between the two of them.

Must be an even more wicked universe than he's ever cared about, then.

At least, that's where the struggle of opening his eyes made him stumble upon; when a blade of light thrust through that hint of a gap he'd pushed himself to create in the middle, resonating through the dark coils of unconsciousness like a harsh, unforgiving bell.

A skilled mariner over silky rivers of natural redundancy and rapids of professional edges, Ezra is a man who can appreciate a sharp wit when he recognizes one.

That was too much even for him.

Floundering in between a blinding whiteness and a black hole that wasn't even completely black, but permeated by a thick, suffocating haze that filled every ghost haunting his mind with its stench. With the color of diabolically lush leaves.

Forest— spores— poison— death.

It hadn't been enough to let him dangle in apnea above a roaring vortex of lifeless emerald; take him away from the grey flow whose elusiveness he'd come to appreciate more than he'd ever hated to endure its chaos— from the bubble built on the routine series of one last jobs that, in the end, never really were.

There'd been a moment when, from the higher parts of the room, his pupils tumbled down, tripping over a patch of green discreetly lurking in a corner.

He almost threw up.

It had taken him a while to clear out the misty grit clotted in his corneas— focus on white walls, light wood paneling... a harmless seedling in a pot.

He'd breathed heavily, deeply. He sure hadn't got much relief from it. Still, he'd been able to hear its sound, louder than he'd ever heard it before, the musical, cooling mesh of oxygen particles in and out of his lungs almost begging his fingers to be touched.

Oxygen.

Fresh air.

Had he been less sore – less convinced it was just the residual effects of anesthesia pulling pranks on him –, he would have burst out laughing. Even more so if some poor soul of the medical staff nearby would have called for reinforcements from the other side of the space station before storming into his room.

He'd be laughing now, too. The best he can manage is sitting on his bed, leaning his back on the headboard – which is what he's struggling to do right now— and well, sometimes the room lighting still slightly bothers him. Of course, with all the painkillers and antibiotics they've given him, he wouldn't feel like the wound on his stomach is swallowing the entire arsenal of stitches and bandages.

He just wouldn't like her to get the wrong idea.

He blinks several times, like a man who no longer trusts his eyes. How can he, when they're burning like that, in such a different fire from the one from days before – damp and flickering? For reasons he can imagine, she seems to be faltering. Totally beyond his comprehension, he could swear she's smiling at him. Something inside his ribcage creaks oddly, while the curve of his chest arches upward.

"Birdie."

It's just a huff of breath, weak and hoarse, yet scratches his throat all the same, in a way that its walls feel studded with rock spurs. Actually, Ezra doesn't remember talking since they left the Green behind – which, being him, is saying something – and it's like an eternity has passed since their pod docked up there.

The nurse who let her into his room has just left and Cee sinks her hands into the pockets of her sweatpants. She's still smiling— just the faded shadow of a smile, now that he takes a better look at her.

"How's your wound?"

It sounds a lot less plain than he expected.

She hasn't moved towards him any further, and for now she's not showing any hints at wanting to. In her irises, Ezra recognizes thumping stars and cerulean clouds, all clustered in the black circle cut by the large porthole next to his bed. All before catching the thin mist veiling them. As if she did want to reach those stars, let herself get carried away by those streams of bluish dust, but she had no idea how or what to do there.

He looks down, the borders of the bandages over his abdomen slightly raised under his black short-sleeved tee. He clears his throat.

"S'healin' nicely", he says, with a deliberate lightheartedness that costs him a sharp, bizarre inflection in his voice. He closes his eyes soon after, tilting his head condescendingly. "That's how the nurse feels about it, anyway... S'not like I can feel much more right now."

This reminds him of those vacuous moments between brief, chaotic waking states and delirious dreams. When he'd managed to reconnect some essential key points scattered around in the talks of surgeons and nurses; the weariness he felt from simply gathering he was on a space station due to enter the orbit of Mesos in three cycles and something standard hours. All while his only solid reference point – the only indisputable proof he was still alive – was the sequence of beeps chirped by the medical monitor perched nearby. Constant, not monotonous. Friendly, even. Sometimes, he actually comes to miss it.

"A trust fall to the extreme, I'd guess", he snorts, a sly laugh as weak and heavy as the words trudging out of his mouth. As the whole rest of him.

Whatever answer she's considering, Cee freezes it in a quick purse of her lips – maybe a nod, but for his own good he'd rather be doubtful. Then she starts looking around.

There's a chair under the board firmly anchored to the opposite wall – probably a desk or something he's never needed to test, whatsoever. She grabs it and puts it next to his bed. She sits down, bringing her legs to her chest, squeezing them in her arms.

Waiting for what, Ezra has no idea, and he's afraid she doesn't have any, either.

He doesn't speak, though, nor does he encourage her to do the same. Her pearly gaze roams steadily but unhurriedly from him to somewhere beyond him, her nose buried in the gap between her knees. He studies her carefully, two purple crescents above her cheeks, a few hair strands swinging down her face without her wiping them out. The nights she's slept through haven't been any more peaceful than his.

Trust, he recalls in the meantime.

It sure brings an odd taste to his mouth. Something close to sweaty spacesuits, grimy paths and gone-off ration bars. A single word for two human beings forced to share the same air filter for days; that, and the image of a dead body left to rot miles behind and the desperate commitment not to end up in the same way.

His gaze just happens to trip over his right side, taking in the deflated sleeve over the emptiness that saved his life. When he lifts it back to the girl, meeting her eyes just before they can flutter away, he realizes they were both looking at the same spot. And he realizes something else— something he's already understood, yet not quite.

There is no tube binding them now.

"Why d'you do it?", he mumbles a split second later, almost like somehow the thread of his question has immediately knotted to the one of his previous thought.

He huffs. He shouldn't even have asked her, in all honesty. Seeing her like this, at least he should have put it in another way, danced around it, it's not like he’s never been good at stalling, after all—

"Comin' back", Ezra says instead, and when he swallows, he mainly does it to send his heart back down his throat. If he'd died without being given the last chance to be this straightforward on this matter, he would have probably kicked his ass all the way to the other side. 

This time, Cee doesn't avoid his gaze. He shouldn't be surprised by how collected she looks, given the calmness she handled his infected arm with and then told him about when she used to slip into Jata Bhalu carcasses. But he can't help it when he thinks she can't be much older now than what she was then.

He watches her breathing in, wobbling her pupils here and there, seemingly considering his words. She's not afraid, not any more than what she seemed to be when she walked into his room. Maybe she's just better than him at playing pretend – but this, he can't tell whether it's more of a good than a bad thing. Especially for her.

One thing he can tell is that she's not the same girl who pointed a trembling gun at him before running away into the woods. He knows she's not afraid.

He knows...

So is it the hunter's instinct he has to blame if he feels she is?

"Guess I've seen too much death on that forsaken moon to just... turn my back on one I can help– one I can do something about."

If he was standing in front of an entire mountain crumbling down into the ocean, he wouldn't hear its sound. ‘Wouldn't even be the worst he deserves. She did hesitate before adding the last few words, but Ezra refuses to believe she did that because she was afraid of hurting him. He may be a wretch, but not a fool.

Kevva, for a man who's always managed to untwist himself from far tougher situations with the tangles of his tongue alone, he's sure having a deal of trouble – and he wishes he could put all the blame on his current physical condition.

There is no word he doesn't have to weigh carefully now, to prevent it from taking too sharp edges once out of his lips. He may float around it forever. But once he's let her go without saying anything, he'll hardly find the courage to look within himself again, more than after any other job that hardened his hands with calluses and tarnished his eyes with blood.

He doesn't know for sure. In fact, everything he was sure to know – about the turning direction of the universe and the one of the wheels in his head – has already collapsed in front of him, tracing a flaming tail. An unforgiving meteor following a trajectory far beyond his grasp.

He just knows silence scares him, in a way that a wrong word will never do again. It terrifies him. More than as a talkative person, as a castaway on a hostile moon for too many cycles to keep their count – with the only company of a mute. Silence is green; the green of the most poisonous pollen, lethal in his brain just like toxic spores enveloped in his lungs. The green of snake scales ready to stand and scratch his flesh until liquid crimson pours out of it.

And at the end of the day, this is the only fucking thing he can tell himself to know without having his guts churning and chest heaving a beat later.

"Stop looking at me like that."

It's more of an exhausted prayer than an annoyed remark. Ezra blinks, stunned by the sudden return from the shapeless stream of his thoughts.

"Like what?"

"Like you're looking for the words to thank me", Cee settles back into her chair and this time she lets one leg touch the floor, "Tell me you owe me, and you– you're sorry about what you did."

Ezra sniffles. "Would it be bad?" 

"No, it—". She closes her eyes for a moment, clenching her jaw. "Just no good", she breathes out, calmer.

And the discordant note in those words conjures up ghosts not yet vague enough for Ezra to be able to tolerate them without something twinging inside him— like a violent flutter of wings. Voices groping their way up ravels of compromises. Damon, deep in the forest. Himself, with the mercenaries in the Queen's Lair. Cee, days before that. After he—

She's right— those words she hasn't said yet, but whose shadow he feels looming every time he catches her wetting her lips.

Some things just can't be split evenly.

"This is not the Green", she states, suddenly more confident but no less exhausted. "If you're going to hang around just because you need to, once we reach Mesos¹ you'd better be on your way."

Ezra doesn't interrupt her. A faded echo starts making its way into his ears. A former prospecting partner, many years ago. An easy job on a forgettable Fringe moon.

Gems don't have an expiration date. Deals do. Strike 'em if you need to, get rid of them as soon as you can. Unless you care to dig a quicker way to your grave.

He didn't pay attention to it, then. He'd thought it was just the empty rhetoric prospectors drop absentmindedly to fill the time between an unrewarding digging and the next. All the more so under the rickety advice of a couple too many.

His eyes still wide open, hands shaky, he merely reciprocated the awkward bottle lift of his partner, whom he didn't know more than the meanders of that quarry. A toast to a faceless future – a nothingness still more reassuring than what was all around and behind them. Not to the darkness of the cave, basically unbreakable if only for the red halo thrown by the twinkles of sharp, sinister Prystines². Not even to the two poor bastards that had set out with them, ending up skewered a few hundred paces behind – one by mistake, the other to return the favor of saving him from the clutches of a furious Aiu³.

Like an idiot.

Several contracts later preventing him from missing a beat in front of similar hiccups, the logic of that statement no longer sounds so absurd to Ezra. Luckily for him, Cee understood it long before him.

"I was just lookin' for the words to tell ya you'll be better off without me—"

Half a truth. Half a heartbeat. After all, she isn't the only one of them who knows how to sell it.

He leans his head back against the headboard, eyes half-closed, a sly grin baring a couple of his upper teeth. It would almost be intimidating, except that the glint hitting them doesn't quite match the dying one in his eyes.

"—But you beat me to it", he finishes, and he sounds like he's about to fall asleep.

He slowly turns his head away, looks through the porthole. His gaze clutches to the passing asteroids outside, distant nebulae spraying the sidereal black with hues of purple, blue, red— then green, again. A climbing plant squeezing him from the inside, discomfort starts creeping on him an inch of his body – what's left of it – at a time.

He doesn't want her to think he's angry at her, and it's the only concrete foothold emerging from the fluid, magmatic chaos in his mind.

How could he be, when she came back to get him?

She didn't have to.

She doesn't have to be here, either...

"I'm sorry", she suddenly blurts out.

He meets her eyes again, a mix of bewilderment and disapproval shading his own. He shakes his head.

"Don't."

"I just—". She starts fiddling with the extra fabric created by the folds of her sweatpants. Then she sighs deeply. "I have no idea what I'm gonna do now."

He snorts. "Not that it's s'pposed to make you feel any better, but... neither do I."

He doesn't have a hazy helmet choking the glimmer in his eyes, an air filter breaking some frequencies in his voice— maybe just those making him sound sincere, while saving those trapping him into the swamp of self-loathing.

He was nothing but honest when he told her the rules of the game on the Green. When he openly admitted he was a killer, and when he assured her he wouldn't trade her for the Sater's Aurelac. And she's always seemed to believe him, maybe for that kind of desperate inertia that washes over people when they need something to cling to. Whatever the case, Ezra can only hope she wants to believe him now. But she doesn't speak, and for a moment his fear of not saying enough overcomes that of crossing her boundaries.

"But w—", he immediately bites his tongue, "—you still have three cycles to figure things out. Someone up here will be able to help you. Even so, please know you'll always have my most sincere gratitude."

The effort of lining up all those words and so few pauses to catch his breath casts a thick fog over his ears. His eyes suddenly hurt again and he finds himself squinting.

What happens next, he just records it, hardly managing to follow each cause-effect relationship. A series of events softly raining on him without making a noise, while he can quite imagine them to be way more prolonged in time. Cee leaning towards the lighting panel on the wall, sliding her finger counterclockwise, and the white coating the walls turning less painfully bright; her getting up, walking away, dwelling just before the door. "I'll come to check on you tomorrow", she says, sniffling.

She tilts her head, holding his gaze in her watery one for an agonizingly slow while – Please, don't ask me why.

He blinks once – Of course.

Then, the automatic door is once again engulfed by the wall, closing behind her with a metallic rustle.

Tomorrow.

His heart is taken by a spiraling jolt that leaves an empty cave behind. When it falls back into place, Ezra finds something has tripped in there, shapeless and quivering like the nucleus of a newborn star.

Hope, terror and everything that lies in between. 

___________________

NOTES:

1) Mesos — Invented planet. Its only raison d'être is that "mésos" in Greek means "middle" and my intent was to frame this story in a moment of transition (after those of movies) for both Ezra and Cee. 2) Prystines — Invented kind of crystals. They're implied to be huge, red and very sharp, thus endangering the path through the cave. 3) Aiu — Invented predator, ideally a big feline.

A/N:

Yeah, uhm... at this point, if someone was ever to give me any kind of feedback, constructive criticism or random thought, I think I'd just melt into a puddle for the attention alone. And to all those who came all the way down here, your bravery shall not be forgotten. ♥️✨

In my defense, it's (almost) all P**** P*****'s fault & of his habit of taking orphans under his wing from one planet to another.

I know people in the fandom generally tend to make Ezra and Cee go along straight away after the movie, so this will be a slightly different take on things, I guess... But even if I don't know if I'll keep this series going atm (life & maturity exam suck), a final reconciliation is definitely on the way. ;)

Oh, and any beta reader that should feel like helping me out for when I'll have the next chapters ready is warmly welcomed! My DMs are always open and I swear I don't bite! :3

[volarenelcieloinfinito]

Euphoria 2x07 Thoughts

I’ve missed the last 3 weeks because I was in the middle of moving to a new apartment and then the Super Bowl but we back!

Lexi’s about to have her moment in the spotlight and I am so ready!

Love this opening classical music. But I know the shit storm is about to start

Is this a flashback or…

Oh shit those are the doppelgängers so this is the play

Damn Lexi, Rue’s dad’s memorial is your kick off point?

Ah geez are Rue and Jules just going to be sneaking peeks at each other this whole time?

Oh this is definitely gonna be good. Lexi’s always been the observer so she sees more then people realize. She about to spill all the tea! 🐸☕️

Lmao yes Maddie, this play is about all of you.

Even on the phone Lexi and Fezco are fucking adorable!

The fucking 4th wall break! Just like Rue does with us 😂

Suze is so stoked/proud!

Aw Fez wants to look good for Lexi 🥰

Fuck off Custer. Snitch ass bitch.

Lmao where did the drama dept get the budget for this play? That rotating set piece is wild!

Lexi you are a comedic queen! 👸🏻

Yes the audience is loving this! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Cassie as Maddie 2.0 is Big Yikes 😬

Lexi noticing Fez isn’t there is hurting me

Ok Lexi crying in the back seat of her dad’s car because she’s scared is also hurting me goddamnit

I love Rue’s little smile. She remembers this moment and isn’t mad about Lexi telling it.

Lexi’s low key right about technology

I’m liking the changes between flashbacks and play scenes

Storm Reid you’re amazing

Suze is so proud of her baby

Rue is so proud of her childhood bff

Oh shit here comes Nate’s part! This is where shits about to pop off isn’t it?!

God Jacob Elordi is so fucking tall

Nate dressing Cassie is weirding me tf out

I’ma say it again, fuck OFF Custer

Oh Ashtray about to end this man’s whole life

Faye wants to tell Fez but she scared

Rue and Fez fucking with Lexi while she’s stoned off her ass if comedic gold 😂

And the Rules peek sneaking continues

You know I wasn’t a big fan of Hunter’s haircut originally but it’s really grown on me

Jesus the longing is just jumping out with them

Damn Leslie telling Rue these home truths is rough but so necessary

“I can’t convince you that your life is important” that just fucking murdered me

Yeah Rue you miss this kinda stuff when you’re high off your ass 85% of the time

Nika is fucking killing it

Lmao the call back to season one 😂

Yes I love getting to see how Lexi feels about Maddie! She was always Cassie’s friend but she cares about Lexi too and I love it!

Oh shit the rest of the reveal confrontation

God sometimes I can’t stand Maddie but she is breaking my heart here

She’s absolutely right too, Cassie is a fucking coward.

Yeah Cassie, you absolutely should feel like shit for what you did to your best friend.

God the self soothing by trying to make herself perfect is just… God this girl has stepped off the edge into the deep end

This Cassie/Nate scene is 🤢🤮

Like really bitch?! You want that animal to fucking control you? This girl has -194749274 self worth

THAT’S NOT LOVE HOLY FUCK

This looks an awful lot like the season one opening with Cal and Jules

OH THAT’S BECAUSE IT IS!

OH WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!?!

Yeah that cements it for me. Nate is in love with Jules and is afraid that makes him just like his father who he hates.

I’m not sure if I’m glad Jules got rid of the evidence or wish she’d kept it and put Cal in prison

Is it weird that I kinda like the Samantha/Maddie relationship?

It’s the purple dress isn’t it?

Hahahaha called it!

Lexi and Ethan 😂😂😂

Poor Mick, he’s trying his best!

Ooooh Nate’s about to McFuckin lose it!

Ashtray is a fucking gangster. He about to cut this man to pieces.

Fez hoping Lexi thinks he looks handsome 😭😭😭

God the tension got me stressed

Holding Out for a Hero OMG

Rue’s face 😂

This man is about to SNAP

ETHAN IS EATING!!!!!!!

I am LIVING for Suze’s enjoyment of this play

Lexi you are a Queen for writing this! Holy shit!

The homoeroticism is WILD

The audience is SOLD! Our Life is 100% Certified Fresh

Maddie said it best, “Lexi you’re a fuckin’ G!”

Oop there he goes!

Zendaya’s got the best fucking facial expressions 😂😂😂

See Cassie? He’s a piece of shit. Period.

Oh shit is she about to rage/Hulk out and hop on stage to beat Lexi’s ass?

NO IT CAN’T BE OVER YET

Holy fuck that episode was brilliant! All this is going to come to a head and EXPLODE next week, and I for one am fucking here for it.

[weirdthinkingdragon]

Silken Binds

You know what? Screw it, I’m going to try writing smut for the first time for my birthday. I’ve had something festering in my mind for a while that I've wanted to try getting down. Has swearing as well. NSFW and has bondage, slight voyeurism?, threesome, unprotected sex, and I'm pretty sure of some horrendous cheesiness. Tried my best to keep the reader gender neutral.

Almost a 4k word fic, tf was I doing?

Erasermic x reader

There was a rather odd-looking box at our door one morning. I had my cup of coffee with me and went to get the mail. Hizashi and Shouta have already left for work. The box was bought under Hizashi’s name, so it’s definitely his. Just what has that mischievous man bought this time? 

It was rather heavy so I ended up putting down my coffee and bringing it in. I’m not one for snooping, so I ended up putting it on the table in the kitchen. Hizashi can take care of it when he gets back home. 

Sitting next to the box and sipping my coffee, I couldn’t help but wonder what it might be. It’s Hizashi though, it could be next to anything. I decided not to dwell on it much and wonder what to do with my day of not working. I’m surprisingly feeling like going out in the public today. The cat cafe is a no-go without Shouta though. He got surprisingly upset last time I went without him and Hizashi. I shiver at remembering the unnecessary lecture. Hmm, there’s the bakery. I haven’t had a good snack from there in a while. Shopping? Ugh, that’s a little too much. Staying home and cleaning? The house doesn’t need it. The forest not too far away? Most likely not safe as well with all the attacks recently. Is anywhere technically safe around here? Not really. 

I eventually decided to hang out with a few friends that were free for the day. Two out of the three of them brought their boyfriends. It twinges my heart a little bit at them being together. Of course, I love the ones I’m with, but they’re often busy so we don’t get to be together much. These guys get that time a lot more from not being heroes. I knew this would happen and try to not let it get to me. My other friend who had absolutely no interest in being in a relationship picked up on my mood. She slings her arm over my shoulders. “Hey! What should we do guys? If you guys don’t stop I’ll make ya all dance with my lasers and dance on your graves when I hit ya!” 

That got them to stop. Everyone knows she’s not afraid to use her laser quirk that can cut through steel to harm others if they piss her off. One of them seems to be in thought for a minute. “How about the mall? We haven’t been there in a surprising amount of time!” I thought I wasn’t going shopping today! The others agree without question, except for my friend with her arm still slung around my shoulders. She hates shopping just as much as I do. She groans in annoyance, but we’re outnumbered four to two. 

Arriving at the mall, it didn’t take long for the day to quickly tick by. Going into the candy store was fun, except buying way too much candy. That’s expected though, and my friend bought twice as much as I did. She has such a sweet tooth it should be illegal. The more we went around, the more I couldn’t get the thought of two specific me out of my head. Like a cool blue leather jacket that Hizashi would rock with no problem, or a tank top with an animated cat holding a steaming coffee cup with a frown on its face Shouta would wear with no objections. The cat was even fluffy and black. Fuck, I really should have figured out their clothing sizes. 

The two girls look at me suddenly. “Hey Y/N, when are you getting a boyfriend? Don’t say you're not interested. You wouldn’t shut up about dreaming about having one before.” That made me really nervous. I’ve never told about my relationship. It can be rather… hated by many for a poly relationship. 

“Uh…” I kinda already do. They’re just busy often." The girl that was much closer to my height grabbed my shoulders and started aggressively shaking me. "HOW COULD YOU KEEP THAT FROM US!? WHO IS IT!? DO WE-" 

My laser friend smacks her hand over their mouth. "Geez, chill, would ya? Maybe they've got a good reason."  

"Have the two of you had sex?" Suddenly pipes up the other female. I awkwardly rub the back of my neck. "A few times… they've been busy like I've said lately." 

The other girl grabbed my wrist. "We HAVE to get you ready for a sexy surprise for him next time! C'mon!" My eyes widen greatly in fear. Hizashi's teasing is already nearly constant. I'd never hear the end of it if I tried what I think they're going to make me do. 

My laser friend knew what they were doing. She quickly grabs my other wrist and manages to get me free from the other. She fakes a yawn. "Oh, man, would you look at the time! We should get going!" 

"Aw, alright. Be sure to tell us the juicy details! Next time!" The shorter girl yells to me as my laser friend and I quickly left.  She let out a sigh of relief when we get a far ways away from the mall. It was already getting dark. 

“Thanks for that. I’d never hear the end of it.” 

She nods. “No problem. Can I hang at your place for a bit? Kinda want to catch up more.”

“Of course!” They wouldn’t be home for a while, so a little company wouldn’t hurt. It didn’t take long to get to my- uh… our home. Still have to get used to saying that, living with them and all.  

She and I sat in the living room. She looks around as she’s never been to the new place I live. She eventually turns back to look at me. “I know this isn’t my place, but could I ask who you’re dating? I’m really curious why you’d keep it a secret.”

I debated whether or not to tell her. Eventually, I relented and decided to tell her. “This is awkward, but uh… Do you know the heroes Present Mic and Eraserhead?” Her widened eyes show she understood quickly. “No way... No fucking way!” She gently punches my shoulder. “No wonder why you haven’t told anyone!” 

“Yeah, the target that would be put on my back wouldn’t be pretty either.” Her movement abruptly stops. “I didn’t think of that. Well, it’s safe with me.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Obviously, or I wouldn’t have told you.” 

And speak of the devil, a certain blond sauntered in. I was surprised. He’s home early. “Hey Songbi- oh, hey! Ya brought company! He quickly plops onto the other side of the couch to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. My friend grew her signature “grossed out” face at us, which made me roll my eyes. 

“What are you doing home so early? Don’t you have a radio show tonight?” 

He grew a giant smile on his face. “Nope! Sho also got off of work tonight. We decided we haven’t been around much, and want to change that tonight.” 

He looks over at my friend who has grown a giant smirk on her face. “You don’t have to tell me twice, dear friend. I just wish you told me your “other” is my closest friend!” 

.

.

.

What? They know each other? Hizashi laughs boisterously. “Ha! Well now ya know, just keep it between the group of us, yeah? We don’t need to worry about our dear other more than we already do.” 

“Like I told Y/N, can do,” She stands up. “Hope you have fun with that gift my friend and I worked so hard on.” Hizashi’s smile grew bigger. “We sure will!” My friend quickly leaves after. 

I looked at Hizashi questioningly. “What did she mean by that?” 

Hizashi grew a very concerning wide smile. "Oh, just something we're testin' on dear Sho tonight. We already talked about it earlier. He's willing to try it."

"Why does that sound concerning? Don't you think I should be informed of this too?" 

Hizashi laughs. "I kinda expected ya to open the box by now to figure it out," he beckoned to come towards our bedroom. "C'mon, take a look for yourself!" 

I entered to see black silk rope strewn around the bed. It was rather long, and definitely quite sturdy looking. It clicked in my mind of what he meant. I look at Hizashi incredulously. "There's no way you got him to agree to what I think you did."

That damn smirk proved otherwise. There was a sudden heavy sigh behind me. "He did." 

I turn to see Shouta. He looks like he's had a really rough day. Worry went through me. With how extra exhausted he seems tonight, maybe we should wait for a different night. 

I go up and hug him. He gives one in return. "Maybe we should do this a different night. You need more rest." I informed him as Hizashi came up and gave Shouta a bear hug. He pretended to hate it, but he obviously enjoyed it by slightly relaxing in his embrace. 

"... I can handle it. Just let me shower first." Was his only reply as he trudged to the bathroom. It didn't take long for the shower to be turned on. 

Hizashi grabs another smaller silk rope from the mess of it on the bed. Most likely a blindfold. I'm not going to lie, a bit of excitement courses through me at the thought of not being the one bound this time. 

Of course Hizashi goes through the extra time to get rope for this. Then again, Shouta could most likely easily break through the ropes they use on me. They're thinner and lighter than these. 

"Songbird! Be a dear and grab the lube from the dresser near ya would ya?" He asked as he started to unbutton his red button up t-shirt. I grab it from the dresser and toss it on the bed, going back to staring at the hot man in front of me giving off a delectable show. Every button coming undone revealing just a bit more of his chest. He stops at the final button that still needs to be undone and looks at me. 

"Well, ya sure seem interested. I must be doing a good job for your attention, huh?" He winks as he slowly undoes the last button and strips off the shirt. 

I eye his whole torso with absolutely no embarrassment. "How can I not? You sure know how to captivate an audience~" 

"Why, thank you! I try my best! But with you, I don't think I even have to try." 

I playfully glare at him. "Is that supposed to mean something?" 

"Other than your love for me is more than enough? Maybe. Just kidding!" He quickly hugs me. "That's not near enough! I could never have enough of your attention!" 

I roll my eyes at his cheesiness. "Alright, alright. Now let me get undressed." He let go. "Gonna give me a show in return, Songbird?"

"Pfft, please. As if I could ever come even close to putting on such a show." 

"Aw, ya don't even have to try! You've always got my attention when your hot self walks into any room with me!”

“You can be so fucking cheesy.” I reply and take off my top clothes. “You know you love it.” 

“Mhm, sure.” He eyes my body as we also take off our pants. He eyes me and lets out a whistle. “Damn Songbird, ya sure you ain’t a model?” My face heats up at his compliment. 

“Good thing they’re not. I’d rather not share them with the world.” Piped up Shouta from behind me. He was done with his shower already? He only has a towel wrapped around his waist. Hizashi and I share a smirk in appreciation of Shouta’s body. He leans close to me. “Go behind, I’m going to bind him.” I nodded while Shouta raised a brow. Hizashi grabs Shouta’s hand and drags him to sit on the bed. 

Shouta ends up sitting in the center of the bed with the rope piled to his left side. I quickly take my place behind him while Hizashi sits in front. He takes off the towel and grabs the rope, quickly starting to bind Shouta. 

“Damn Hizashi, when did you learn to bind so well?” I joke. In the process of tying Shouta, he gives me two smaller ropes and winks. “From the best around, who else?” 

“Would you two quit it?” 

I soothingly rub his sides, feeling the difference of the silk and his skin. The rope being just tight enough to not do any harm, but can still hold him still. “C’mon babe, let me enjoy this a little. Please? It’s not often I’m not the one bound.” I reply to him. His only reply was a grunt of annoyed disapproval, making Hizashi chuckle. 

He wraps the silk around the back of Shouta’s neck, finalizing it by tying it somewhere in the front. I guess now it’s my turn. I wrap the slightly longer one around Shouta’s wrists. Arousal and excitement quickly pooling in the bottom of my stomach for what is to come.  I reach over him to show the blindfold. My chest was pushed against his back to have it farther from his face for the go-ahead to do so. 

It also gave me the view of Shouta’s legs being kept wider apart by the rope being tied at the ends of the bed and his quickly growing erection. “What are ya waitin’ for, Songbird?” 

“... You can put it on,” Shouta says, ignoring Hizashi temporarily. “At least someone makes sure it’s okay first.” He finishes slightly condescendingly. I tie it around his eyes, trying my best to make sure it wouldn’t come loose, but it’s not tight enough to cause problems. Hizashi rolls his eyes. “Whatever ya say, Sho. It’s easy to tell you’re enjoying it.” Shouta replies with silence. 

He chuckles again and kisses Shouta while starting to play with Shouta’s chest  and runs his hands down his stomach, slowly and teasingly going lower. I decided to start by having his tied hands pinned between his body and mine, them being dangerously close to my underwear.  I kiss the side of his neck while gently running my hands over his scars. All of them make him look even better. 

Shouta’s breathing suddenly becomes shaky as he lurches forward with a grunt. That brought a smirk to my face as I kissed the giant scar on his elbow. “Geez Zashi, already? Give the poor man a bit more time first!” Hizashi laughs again. “No can do, Songbird! Not with such a lovely view in front of me!~” 

Shouta grunts again. “Is tha- that all you two got?” I sat farther up on my legs to look more over Shouta’s shoulder and used him to hold some of my weight leaned on him. Looking down, it was easy to tell Hizashi was taking more and more of Shouta’s dick down his throat. He reaches up and starts to toy with Shouta’s nipples with both his hands. I nibble his ear. “For now, yeah. But it’s going to get a lot better later. You won’t know what’s up or down.”

My body was close enough to feel his body shiver with pleasure. “Is that a- ngh- a promise or a threat?” I teasingly nip his neck. “Whichever you want it to be.” I continue to watch Hizashi start to bob his head while starting to suck on Shouta’s neck. 

His breathing was rapidly becoming more shaky as he undeniably was getting closer to an orgasm with the minutes ticking by. Watching the rhythmic motion of Hizashi’s mouth on Shouta’s cock set a deeper fire in my stomach of wanting to feel his dick in me myself. 

Hizashi moved one of his hands to wrap around the rest of Shouta’s dick. I took that as an invitation to continue playing with one of his nipples myself. I stuck my middle finger a bit down my throat and brought it in front to start rubbing on it. “You two are- definitely persistent.” He hissed. 

I laugh and rub a little harder. “Do you even know the two of us by now, Sho? You can’t be forgetting about little old us now!” 

"I seem to for- forget."

"That's a dangerous thing to do~" 

He finally comes undone with a final pinch to his nipple and Hizashi most likely aided with fondling his balls. He jolts back, almost making me fall backwards from the shifted weight. 

Hizashi sits up and wipes the trail of drool off his face, locking eyes with me with a smirk. It's like we could read each other's minds as we nodded to each other and moved off the bed. In the small amount of time he was standing, it was easy to tell his dick was strained against his boxers. That didn't last long though as he quickly stripped them off and sat behind Shouta. 

I quickly peel mine off as well and toss them to the floor. Hizashi definitely isn't wrong with the view though. The deep flush on his face just making me want to tease him more. I know how bad of an idea that would be though. He'd get me back tenfold next time. 

Hizashi opens the bottle of lube and squirts a rather generous amount on his hand. "C'mon Songbird, get another outta Sho. This'll take a bit!" 

"Zashi, what do you thi- ink you're doing? I'm coming for you next time." 

"Oh, I'm SO scared! Just kiddin', can't wait for it. For now, I'm enjoyin' the hell outta this!" Shouta lurches forward again. It doesn't take a genius to know why. 

To avoid Shouta's no doubt unrelenting punishment for next time, I focus more on deeply kissing him. He tilts his head and is all for it. His scruffy facial hair borders between tickling and being a comfort for how close he is. His hips keep shaking, trying to move away, so Hizashi wraps an arm around to at least keep them slightly more still.

"Damn Sho, ya must be more into this than I thought! I've barely done anything and two are slippin' in easily! 

He only replies with a muffled growl from still making out with me. It didn't go unnoticed though. Hizashi doesn't say anything about it and moves Shouta's hair to suck on the unmarked side of his neck.  

I stopped kissing Shouta to notice he was getting hard again. He was breathing heavily and it was easy to tell sweat was starting to form. "Hey, Zashi, how's it going now?" 

"Workin' on the third! Should I come up there and work ya open too when I'm done?" 

"No, I'll be fine. Just pass the lube, will ya?" He does and goes back to what he was doing. I open it and put it on my hands. Closing it, I slowly trail it across his dick. His hips start to jerk again, undecided which way to go, towards my hands or Hizashi's. I recoil a bit at the still slightly slimy feeling of Hizashi's saliva, but I get over it with the help of the lube. 

"Damn it you t-two, get on with it." 

"Oooh, is dear Sho being the impatient one for once!?" 

"Don't… push it." 

"Alright babe, just this time!" He grabs the bottle of lube again and squirts more in his hands. While he gets ready for that, I decided to get ready myself. I straddle his and slowly start to sink myself on his dick. The stretch hurts a bit from not fully preparing myself first. It's not nearly as painful as it's been before though, and it didn't take long for the pain to become pure pleasure. It didn’t take long for Hizashi to join either. Shouta shows he’s slightly uncomfortable, but refuses to say it out loud. 

We wait an extra minute just to settle things out. Hizashi then tests a thrust out, pushing Shouta deeper into me. Him and I both slip out a moan. “Damn, got ya both singin’!” He jokes, and slightly picks up the pace. He grabs my calves and lifts them in a way Shouta’s dick hits harder with every thrust by pulling me onto him. He may not be nearly as strong as Shouta, but he’s definitely not something to sneeze at. Right now would be proof of that. 

Every thrust brought the sparks of pleasure tingling through my body. But what was better was the extra lack of composure I’ve never seen on the man in front of me. I can’t tell what his eyes look like, but his mouth isn’t in a straight line like usual. Hizashi’s thrusts grew harder.  

For better support, I wrap my arms around the back of Shouta’s neck. He has no problem leaning up a bit for the three of us to be even closer together. His legs kept trying to jolt up, but the binds stopped him. 

“Damn Zashi, you’re re-really not holding back!” I manage to say through my quickly increasing heavy breathing. They weren’t doing too much better. Every hit into my body brought that deep tightening feeling to get even more tight. “When do I not, So-Songbird?” He jokes questioningly. There’s no denying that.  

I test things by making my body squeeze Shouta’s dick more tightly. That really seems to help do the trick as he tends to get much closer to reaching his end. It ended up with me cumming first. Like a chain reaction, Shouta ended up next. I felt the heat of his cum shooting into me. “Damn S-Sho! You’re really clenchin’ down on me!” 

It only took a few more thrusts for him to cum as well. The three of us sat there for a minute trying to catch our breaths. I take off the blindfold to see his eyes with a caring intensity I’ve never seen. I get off of Shouta and untie the ropes from the bed. Hizashi does the same with untying his arms. Shouta wasted no time in grabbing me and hugging me tightly against his chest. He barely lets go for me to turn around to face him. “Clean up later. Cuddle now.” Hizashi hugs Shouta from behind. “Well, didn’t know THE Shouta was able to be a cuddle monster!” 

Shouta replies by pinching Hizashi’s thigh. “Ouch! Okay, no ruining the moment. I get it!”  

------------------------------------------------------------------

So… I tried. It seems too fast paced or missing something. Welp, it is my first time writing something like this, so it’s bound to be bad. 

[dolokhoded]

you asked for headcanon ideas and ohh boy do i have ✨several✨ (all of these are ralbert kshdjebe)

punk!albert and dancer!race (modern)

hockey!ralbert au (modern)

how race and al got together (canon era)

the SPEED at which i started to write this. it's not funny, it's NOT. FUNNY. plz i love when people give me ralbert stuff they're the absolute most fun to write e v e r, i am starved of ralbert. let's fuckin do all.

i concluded i need to do these in seperate posts if i want this post to not be 8 feet long bc,,, ralbert just gets my brain gears working

Punk!Albert + Dancer!Race

im doing this in high school au because why tf not, let's fuckin go

albert

al

albo

he's not a bad guy, he's actually the sweetest

but because this is high school, and kids are assholes, and he's already a little nonchalant which might come off as mean sometimes, he's not the most liked person to ever live

doesn't really mind, he has his friends, he has sarah and jojo and tommy and elmer

he's fine

soon he'll graduate and people will leave him alone anyways, so he just goes with it and minds his business

until this bitch comes along,,

you know that kid we all had in high school who was some sort of athlete and always go to competitions and won a shit ton of medals and was just,,,,, so good at what they do

that's race

race is a dancer, has been since he was little and he's absolutely that bitch

everyone knows him because there's constantly announcements about him winning some big important shit, probably has about a trillion dance schools offering him scholarships, basically a professional before he can even have a legitimate profession.

and eventually– and inevitably, since i decide what happens here– they become the cliche trope of lab partners

albert's all "ok cooperate so we can get this done and each go our sweet separate ways, i know you'd rather be over there with romeo or crutchie or whoever"

but race is absolutely fascinated with this kid

and he decides to stick around!!

albert's like wait what the fuck

but he slowly warms up to race and race finds he's just,, so perfect

like yea he knew he was attractive he's not blind, and he could tell he was really cool but albert's so incredible, he's funny and he cares so much and they're just drawn to each other

one day race is practicing and albert's just sitting down on the side of the room doing algebra and waiting for him

and it's rare he ever gets to see race dance like that, completely for himself, not caring about any scores or audience and he looks so carefree and he just djjjtjkskykk

so when race crouches in front of him and asks if he's ready to go he just

pulls him in and gives him a little kith

and race is shook because holy fuckin f u c k shit

albert pulls away and race just

"no wtf come here >:( another plz"

so that's how albert ended up with the world's most tactile boyfriend

plz this bitch

"geez ive been dancing all afternoon im so tired"

"mmhhmh yeah"

"like,,,,,,, wow im tired. i shouldn't have overworked myself."

"what do you want race"

"carry me plz plz?"

albert does it. cause unfortunately, he loves him.

"you know you can just ask, right? like you've been dancing all your life you're not even tired."

race knows that albert knows that. he's just dramatic like that.

race will absolutely flaunt his punk bf at every given opportunity and fuck everyone else

if you think albert has ever missed one of his performances you're so wrong

wait did i just write sk8er boy

he was a punk he did ballet-

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SK8ER BOY

AVRIL MY QUEEN

[beelsbaby]

could you do the obey me undatables for the girl dad thing too please?😁

Of course! I hope you like it! I had a lot of fun writing it, I got carried away a lot WHOOPS but here ya go!

Undateables as girl dads

Solomon

* OKAY he wanted a son

* I don’t know he just gives me boy dad energy

* But you said no sir we having a girl

* I love that for you 😌

* But he didn’t get upset because he knew no matter what the gender was, his child would be powerful

* Insert "good for her" pic

* He reads books on how to be a dad

* How to be a dad for dummies LMAOO

* He makes sure to be fully prepared

* What a dork HA

* Her room probably has a lot of purples

* It’s very whimsical

* When she’s born, he instantly forgets about being the most powerful in the room

* All those pacts he’s made with demons mean nothing

* He is hopelessly devoted to her

* When she gets fussy, he just sprinkles a little magic and she’s giggling again

* She’s just so fascinated by it

* He loves carrying her around while doing mundane things

* He’d be reading a grimoire with her resting on his hip

* She said papa first and he was WEAK

* He did shed a tear or two but he’ll never tell

* He can put her down to sleep in record time

* He just makes up a story about magic and she’ll happily go to sleep

* She’s also very fascinated by his magical artifacts

* She’s constantly touching the ones he unsuccessfully tried to hide

* “Sweetheart, that’s papa’s, okay? That’s 380 years old... Let’s put that down, yeah?”

* Looks absolutely baffled when she’d take the artifact and BOLT

* “Y/N, why are you just standing there laughing, help me!”

* She is very sneaky and cheeky just like him

* She knows just to give her dad her cheeky little smile and he’s putty in her hands

* He’s so whipped

* But she’s also pretty sharp

* Solomon brags that she gets her intelligence from him

* Fool slept on the couch for that comment

* He has a ring with her initials on it

* She likes listening about sorcery

* “Papa papa! I want to have magic like you!”

* “One day, petal, one day”

* “Pinky pwomise?”

* He’d chuckle and intertwine his pinky with hers

* He spoke to soon because she started showing signs of sorcery at 6 years old

* He was so proud

* He taught her how to control it, how to maneuver it, and how to use it properly

* This definitely brought them closer together

* He’s just so happy to have her and she’s changed him to become a better person in just a few years, he loves her to infinity and beyond. He’ll protect her until his last breath 😭✋🏻

Simeon

* This angel was ELATED

* He thanked you endlessly like the true gentleman he is

* He didn’t care if it was a girl or a boy he was just happy to have a child with you

* When you tell him it’s a girl he immediately starts getting things ready for her

* Her room is so angelic

* The walls are painted like the sky

* It’s so beautiful

* The day she was born, he swears he finally understood what happily ever after meant

* He didn’t know if life could get any better, he was just so happy

* And she was GORGEOUS

* She looked exactly like him

* His beautiful skin tone, eyes, everything

* I’m crying at how pretty she is 😭

* He cried too, she was a literal angel

* He helped you out with everything

* He fed her, changed her, whatever you needed

* He sang her to sleep whenever she refused to sleep

* She’d stare at him with adoration

* He liked carrying her around, even if he was busy

* Multitasking king we love to see it

* Whenever he was caring her, she would grab his cheeks and babble at him

* His heart melted every single time

* Her first word was “up”

* She liked her dad picking her up and putting her on his shoulders

* So she asked him to pick her up

* He gladly did so with a huge smile

* She LOVES his wings

* She likes playing with Luke !!

* She also likes playing dress up with her dad

* She dresses up as a princess

* She has him dressing up like a knight

* He has to come save her from the dragon

* Luke is the dragon

* And He hates playing dress up lol

* She loves hearing all about angels

* And Simeon loves telling her about them

* When she’s five, she sprouts wings!

* She’s so happy

* “Look papa I’m just like you now!”

* He cries, she’s just so beautiful

* “Yes, angel, you’re like me!”

* He teaches her how to control and maneuver her wings

* She’s very clumsy at first, but he’s always there to catch her

* Simeon vows to always be there to catch her whenever she needed him, he loves her more than life itself 🥺❤️

Luke (aged up!!)

* This man passed tf out when you told him

* He was not ready for that bomb you just dropped

* But when he wakes up he asked you how you feel and if you know the gender

* When you both go to your appointment and you’re told it’s a girl, he starts freaking out

* What if he’s not a good dad?

* What if he can’t understand her?

* His mind is literally screaming WEE WOO WEE WOO

* But you assure him that he’s gonna do just fine and she’ll love him unconditionally

* He relaxes a bit

* Like 2%

* But he’s not hyperventilating anymore so you take it as a win

* He make sure her room is as comfortable as possible

* A lot of plushies and toys

* The room is such a vibe

* When she’s born, he passed out again

* Geez Luke get a grip

* You had two precious babies to look after

* But when he came to, he was in euphoria

* His baby girl was a beautiful mix of the both of you

* He was so smitten

* She’s very attached to him

* When she’s fussy he just picks her up and she settles down

* He carries around her diaper bag

* Mammon saw him once and now he never let’s him live it down

* Luke isn’t embarrassed, he’s just irritated because it’s Mammon

* Her first word was “daddy” and Luke felt his heart go BOOM 💥

* He picked her up and gave her a forehead kiss

* “Yes, little one, I’m daddy! Y/N she knows I’m her daddy she’s a genius!”

* You just smiled as he went on and on about how much of a genius y’all’s daughter was

* Proud dad™️

* He loves taking her to petting zoos, aquariums, etc

* Her eyes light up

* As she grows she gets more feisty lol

* Simeon loves comparing her feistiness to Luke’s

* But tbh it just makes Luke smug

* He loves that he has a headstrong daughter

* He knows she won’t take anyone’s crap

* When she was in the first grade, you guys got a call from the school one day

* She punched a classmate

* It was her first offense so the school just let her off of a warning

* But when Luke asked her why she did it, she said it’s because he was bullying her friend

* Prouder dad™️

* She makes him prouder every day and he’s so proud to call himself her dad, his entire heart is hers

Diavolo

* he’s been wanting to have a family with you for a long time

* So when you tell him you both are going to have a baby, he is so excited!

* He’s very doting the entire time

* When you told him it was a girl he’s was very happy and supportive

* It might have been ideal for him to have a boy but we know this man lives to break the status quo

* So he’s happy

* When she was born, Diavolo fell in love all over again

* She was just such a beautiful sight

* ALSO there was a two week celebration and the devildom

* Her room was EXPENSIVE

* He said really said no budget

* Gold things everywhere

* That’s his princess, he’d do anything for her even if it meant hurting his pockets

* Dang I need myself a Diavolo 🤪

* He carries her around in a baby carrier

* I LOVE TO SEE IT

* She said mama first but it was just with you so when she said dada you let him think it was her first word

* You don’t wanna break his heart lol

* His devilgram is basically now a stan account for his daughter

* If he really misses her, he will take her into meetings with him

* No one dares to argue with him

* She loves being on his shoulders, the view is superb

* First day of school he took her and the entire school went crazy

* She literally told him “ how far you have to leave everybody’s freaking out over you and I’m supposed to be the cool one here!”

* He laughed and kissed her goodbye

* She’s very sweet but pretty commanding

* Diavolo gushes on how she’s totally ready to be queen one day

* All name brands for his princess

* He definitely has had a portrait of her made. It’s probably in like the dining room or the main hallway

* She loves playing hide and seek

* Can you imagine big bad Diavolo running around trying to hide in a bush but he’s too tall lmaoo

* No one ever there is mess with her

* She’s only like five but she has the entire devildom standing behind her just like with her dad, I love how powerful they are. ADORABLE AND POWERFUL ??? Best daddy daughter duo in the devildom

Barbatos

* Poor baby is so nervous when you tell him

* But he want nothing more than to have a family with you

* He starts preparing everything for her arrival

* Baby proofing, preparing her room, anything he can do for her

* He make sure her room was adorable and fun

* It’s a pastel paradise

* When she’s born he’s holding your hand as you carry her

* You looked up to him and asked if he wanted to hold her

* He let out a barely audible “yes”

* When you handed her over to him, she opened her eyes and cooed up at him

* Rip Barbatos.exe stopped working

* #1 dad

* He changes diapers, he cleans up after her, takes care of her so you can get some rest

* What a gentleman 😪

* She said papa first

* He remembers the exact hour minute and second she said it LMAOO

* She’s very very shy

* But he’s helping work through her anxiety and walks her through her attacks

* Wow I’m crying 😭

* They love having little cute picnics together

* She LOVES his baking

* I mean who doesn’t

* She does very well in school

* Loves reading and history

* She really enjoys helping him out in his butler duties

* She even has a matching butler outfit that you got her

* The first time he saw her in it, bby boy couldn’t stop gushing about how cute they were

* They were the best butler duo

* N E WAY before I go on and on about them, he really loves her and you. He views her as the best thing that’s ever happened to him 🥰

[triclitch]

🤣🤣

I just can't lol.

So yo guys. You wanna just umm pretend season 15 didn't happen.

Like it feels like a bunch of fanfic tropes all collage-d into one season like umm...

1. The whole filler episodes just. Wtf. Like I get it. The writers wanna make us feeel for the characters more so the ending will be more gut wrenching. But . Write it into the plot y'know? Don't waste my time Kay.

2. The Destiel confession, like applause for Misha's consistency of acting cause it didn't really come outta no where. But Dean's reaction?

And cas' death was just so wjfjwjwkf. Like I remeber this badass angle.fro. season 4 amd now he just dies like this. Like I get it. He's been on earth for so long and he's died multiple times and his grace has been taken multiple times but damn.. I want season 4 cas back so badly like they made him weaker throughout the show and just opf what an unsatisfying death for him.

3. Hahaha don't even get me started on Midam.

Like. Adam just dies off screen!!! Un how ? Explain! And like Chuck just somehow Bill cipher his ass?? So a vessel can be split from their archangels. And you're telling me Michael just didn't know about that and didn't like take precautions or did it himself safely!! So that he could snap Adam away to a safe place cause he cares about Adam, we saw that in ep. 8 sooo ummm...

4. Also the fact that Michael really said aww shit lost Adam the only thing I care about, welp let me join the person who killed him!!!!!!

Like nahh fam. If you wanna give Michael an evil arch have him go ballistic, have him try to kill EVERYONE Chuck included.

Or.

And this is crazy have him actually grieve like he would . Like why show Midam being friends then just have Michael as soon as he loses Adam just join the person who killed him?

5. Luci. Baby. What have they done. Brought my man back just to kill him. And so damn easily too. Like this biss didn't make us have half a season just trying to defeat him only to be killed just like that.

And him joining Chuck. I know we're trying to sell the whole daddy issue trope but umm I swear he would've still helped the Winchesters cause like he wants to stick it to the man y'know.

6. And Jack. Oooo Jackie boi. I know you're like the new Chuck but are you so conceited that you don't think to bring back you're father (cas) like again writers why show any father son shit between cas and Jack if he was just gonna forget about cas?

7. Also back to the fillers why show any bonding between team free will in past seasons and episodes. And just say f cas when the family fluff episodes came around like what!!!!!

8. Also the kill all gays shit. Like I couldn't care less for spn romance, but like why? Why kill Cas like lol sure be homophobic if you must but try to keep it in your closet....damn man killing my boi and for what.

9. Charlie. Whyd she have to die.

10. And sam umm you don't try to find your girlfriend like tf!??? Poor Eileen

11. Oh and is Billy dead dead cuz Luci killed her and if so why isn't every dead person running out? Cause like Chucks dead and Luci is dead so shouldn't souls be like trapezing outta their respective places cause I promise you Jack ain't gonna be a good gate keeper. Also...

12.Amara. Girl are you just floating around im so confused. Like... lol

In conclusion this whole season is a mess. Like someone please explain to me this entire mess...

And fanfic writers on AO3 please fix this whole season. Like geez ...

[konohagakureship]

shadow! you really popped off with this intergalactic au! How long have you been working on it/how’d the idea come to you?

Thank you!!!! :D

And i started working on it *checks notes* A YEAR AGO 😱 geez that’s a lot of time for the few content i’ve created for it xDDD 

I’ve always been a fan of scifi and star wars in particular :) i think that when i created the first piece of this au i was playing SWTOR regularly 🤔 and that inspired me to create a scifi themed akatsuki au.

I really never expected it to gather any interest when i drew that commander itachi picture tbh xD But ppl liked it and i loved that someone would be interested in seeing space akatsuki content from me :) so i kept posting stuff and developing the au!

Tho my interest for this au peaked with the pieces i did for naruto-scifi-week!! i got the chance to truly focus on the aesthetics and the backstories for the akatsuki, and that was really what made me think “i can and want to make something big with this au”.

And this is it!!! hahaha basically this au is very self-indulgent and i’m extremely happy to see that ppl want to see more of it. But at the same time it’s very a bit scary 😅

I keep thinking on what i can do to really take a step forward with this project. I’m considering opening a patreon so people can request specific content and scenes for this au and being more involved with the creation process, and also maybe writing for real a short comic. But that’s REALLY scary to me xD how tf am i going to write a good plot ajdghfajhf 

ANYWAY i’ll figure something out!

Thank you so much for your ask, anon!!! :D 

[burnt-tomato]

herro!! can you write hcs for when noya and tendou gets jealous? like what would they be like? I feel like noya would rolling thunder someone’s ass HAHAH

♤: aye thanks for the ask!! Got braindead for a sec and couldn’t answer lmao. Ayt here are your headcannons. Also idk if you meant jealous as if talking to another mAn or jealous of your traits or who you are, so imma do both

»»--------------------------------------------------►

Nishinoya Yuu

If I were you I wouldn’t make this guy jealous lol

He’s probably jealous of your height let’s face it

Rolling thunder his ass what the hEcC lmao imma try to make that work

Jealous because of you talking to another guy

Noya is really protective of you bc he loves you a lot and is afraid to lose you and probably bc you’re the first and only to return his feelings

Made sure that everyone in the school class knew about your relationship. Yes even the team.

When a guy talks to you, let it be classmates, a friend or your brother bc why the hell not right? He will gLARE at them

Let’s say the 2 of you are in the same class. You were paired with a random guy for a partner project, and this rose a huge red flag for Noya

During class you and let’s name the random guy A, A had to sit next to eachother bc teacher's rules suck. You were wAy to0 cl0se to eachother, according to Noya's rules and regulations. More glaring yay.

You and A seem very… mmmmm friendly lol and Noya is n0t enjoying this

♤: aye sorry for cutting this but ya think Noya likes his girlfriend, if he gets one, more than Asahi and Kiyoko? My AsaNoya heart

Even when the project ended, you and A wanted to get to know eachother and be friends for plot and I’m pretty sure Noya is about to rolling thunder his ass

♤: not sure if noya is the threatening kind tho

Smashes down your door violently pulls you outside of class and to a corner ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). "Y/n... You better not tell me that you're planning to leave me for someone else.." "Yuu, why the hell would I do that? I only wanted to be friends with him because he's actually nice." "But I- sorry y/n. I'm just afraid of losing you." *hug hug cUdDlE hug because I can't describe scenarios like this lol*

Jealous because of someone flirting with you

There was this one particular guy who kept on looking at you and when you'd look back, he'd smile. Noya noticed this and let it slide for a few times, but that didn't last long. He soon felt itchy and bothered that someone's looking at you with a smile all the time.

He isn't quiet about it either. Everyday after class the guy staring at you (let's name him B) would wave his hand at you and say stuff like "see you tomorrow y/n" or when you and Noya arrive together at class he's be all "good morning y/n! Beautiful as ever!" And hoo boy Noya isn't happy. He would always say "Fuck off, you bastard. She's taken." And B will just belp at both of you.

Noya always tried to tackle the guy, but you always stopped him from doing so. Even if he wants to kill the guy or shout at him so bad, you keep reminding him to control his emotions. Idk if I were the girl i would offer Noya to double team B lol.

But hoo boy he cannot do that. B tool it to the next level and Noya couldn't keep it all in anymore.

It happened during a school day. Classes just ended and Noya told you to go on ahead and he'll just catch up, but just as you got out the door, B gripped you by the arm and pulled you by the door.

*peptalking my self* Ok Vy you can do this. You just have to make it look like B did a smooth move there even if you're bad with dialogues

"Hey hey y/n, you've been avoiding me for a long time now, and it's getting on my nerves." He whispers unto your ear. Noya hurry tf up your bae be in trouble. He places his thumb and index finger on your chin lifting it up and you can smell what he ate this morning

Ok Vy you can do this. "Look, I don't know if you're ignoring me because of that tiny guy, but I'll tell you now that he isn't good for you and you're too good for someone like him. You deserve someone better. Yknow, some like... me?" He smirks. You are hella disgusted

Who is this Bimbo trashtalking Noya. "So, y/n, could you be kind enough to give me your number and address~`>~~<~•||•《•¤○《•" wow I can't do this.

For a split second, you felt a hand travel to your back collar pulling to aside, revealing Noya, who was glaring daggers at B, while B was still smirking

"Hey hey now junior student, I was talking to y/n here, and you just disturbed our conversation." "Did I really? Oh sorry, but can I inform you that she's taken, nd if you want to leave school alive, you better step away now and never talk to her again." Noya says, trying his hardest to keep his composure and not lose control

"Geez fine already. You don't have to throw a fit about it. She wasn t worth my time anyways." He says walking away waving his right hand. "What did that bastard say about yo-?" You pulled Noya back. "It's fine now. He's gone." Noya was still frustrated, and you tried to cool him off.

*insert hugs and other stuff bc I'm uncomfortable writing those lolllll* you both go to the gym, and Noya forgot about what he was mad about as soon as he was playing and saw Kiyoko

Bonus

You're jealous of Kiyoko and Asahi bc even if Noya is dating you now, he still goes crazy over Kiyoko and hangs out around Asahi all the time lol

Tendou Satori

This is definitely someone I won't get jealous

Very underrated boy I love him

Jealous because of you talking to another guy

The time this happened was when you 2 were at the bookstore for the weekly jump. He left you for a while to look for the book while you hung around the novel books that you're probably not interested in

You saw a book that you got interested in, but was too high bc u short. You struggled reaching it, then goes a guy (I'll name him C). He reached the book for you and you bowed to thank him.

"Oh [ insert book title ]? You read that?" He asks. "Not really, it just looked interesting." You said. You both started chatting about that book, and then switched to your hobbies and other stuff.

Then Tendou comes. He wraps his lanky arm around you, forcing you to move back. And you're literally in a book section, so it's probably cramped. He looks at the guy, well, looking d0wn bc he t0l as hEcC.

"Eehh? So you're the guy I heard talking to y/n.. You better not be planning things to do to her, if you are you better prepare to go through me." The guy apologizesand waves you goodbye

"Satori, we were just talking about stuff we had similarities on.. He wasn't hitting on me." You say. "Oh? I guess my guess blocking only works on volleyball and not outside huh.. well anyway have you seen this week's jump? It's really interesting and has this-" starts rambling about the weekly jump. You were surprised yet used to this. Him being mad at first, then quickly turns back to normal when talking to you.

Jealous because of someone flirting with you

Mm m m m m m mm m mmm

̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\З=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=Ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿

I just like making use of the fact he loves reading the weekly jump and is in the bookstore whenever he isn't playing volleyball

You were both at the mall to shop for something ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕗ and you both stopped for a bit in the bookstore. You hung out by the entrance while Tendou went inside bc he takes a hell lot of time lol.

You were minding your own business playing on your phone when this random guy walked up to you and pressed a finger on your phone, lowering it (let's name the guy D( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Hey hey beautiful~~~□•□•□•□□•□ [♤: I'm getting the big cringe lol]. Would you mind me asking for your number?" He asks with a smirk. You didn't know how to response or how to react during that time so you stood frozen, tilting your head to your left. You shook your head, signaling a 'no', but the guy insisted. He kept whispering (ง ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)ง and that made you really uncomfortable [♤: ew.]

You felt the door you had your hand on move away, then the next thing you knew, a tall lanky guy stood next to You, keeping his line of vision on D.

They started arguing, D protesting that you 2 were just having a friendly conversation. "Look, from inside, it was obvious that you were flirting with MY y/n. She shook her head multiple times and it was given that she was uncomfortable. So if you KINDLY would move away from her and never come back, that would really be appreciative." He says

You heard D make a 'tch' sound and walked away with a frustrated expression.

"You didn't really know that he was flirting huh? If it was obvious you could be come sooner." "Sorry the last time I butted in with your conversation with a guy I was mistaken, so I decided to make sure first." He said with a smile scratching the back of his head.

You 2 were about to leave when the shop owner said "Sir you will have to pay for that." Tendou was about to pay when he saw what happened. He laughed a little and went back inside apologizing.

»»--------------------------------------------------►

♤: I'm getting more inactive lmao But I'm still answering asks. Feel free to send in reqs for headcannons, scenarios and oneshots. The askbox is always open lol ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\З=( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)=Ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿

[mfackenthal]

The MFackenthal Show and @maxattack-powell!

banner by @whenyourheartskipsabeat

Hello all!  Welcome back to the MFackenthal Show!  I am so glad that you are here today.  If you’re new to the show, I encourage you to go here to find past episodes.  There are only a few.

The MFackenthal Show has officially been green lit for more episodes!  We used to only be able to afford to run the show every once in a while, but the people have spoken - they want to see the show more often!  The funding came through and we hope to give the people what they want!  Do you want to be on the show?  Do you have someone that you want to see on the show?  If so - reblog or comment or send a message to let MFackenthal know!  We’ll see what we can do!  We have this show and two others lined up for you!

I could not be more excited to bring you this next guest.  She has been with the fandom for quite a while.  She was one of the first people I started communicating with on a regular basis.  She has talked me up, supported me from the beginning and though she hasn’t written much lately - when she does drop a chapter - it’s long and it’s worth it!  Please welcome to the stage @maxattack-powell!!!!!  (Insert Cheering here!)

(Megs greets Max with a hug - which means that Megs essentially runs and leaps into Max’s arms.  Max is fairly tall and Megs is barely 5′3″) 

Megs:  Max, I am so happy that you are here!  Can you believe that you’re here today?

Max:  Haha, yes - I can.  But I am honored to be here.

Megs:  Max, sit with me.  For those in the audience who may not know you, tell us about when and why you joined the fandom.

Max: Yanno, I always made my best guess at this before, but I knew you were going to ask me this - so I looked it up.  Did you know that now there’s this Official Tumblr blog called @memories, and it knows down to the minute when someone joined? Let me go check it… *digs through the blogs posts* Okay, it was apparently 07/31/2017 at 1:17:15 PM, which means it must have been on the weekend because of the time of day haha.

As for why ... hmm, well… I found the Choices app one day, when it only had like… three series I think! Anyone else remember that time? 

Megs:  I do!  Because I was playing Hollywood University I think I downloaded choices the day the app came out.

Max: Awh!  Well, I fell in love with The Freshman Series. Mostly because of Chris Powell and Zack Zilberg, and a long time ago I was in another fandom that had tons of fan fiction/art… so I googled “Choices Chris Powell” and any other combination I could think of looking for possible fanfiction. The fandom was almost non existent at the time. There was actually one person, who has long since left the fandom due to fandom dramas - we all know the kinds I’m talking about - but a few others had started posting their works as well… and I got hooked. Eventually I felt the bug to write how I felt TF should play out as well, and here I am *looks back at the “joined tumblr timestamp”* uhh… 20ish months ago!  Haha!!

Megs:  LOL, when you put it that way it doesn’t sound like that long ago ... lets call a spade a spade - that was almost 2 years ago!  That’s amazing!  You have to have seen so much in this fandom!  What is it that keeps you around?

Max: There are so many awesome people in this fandom, in this world we’ve all created for our pixelated loves lol. Soooo many creative minds to follow and enjoy. The content people share, original or repost… it’s great. 

... Unfortunately it is also a double edge sword ... the drama, the jealousy, the rumors, the hate, etc. I’ve sadly seen far too much and it comes in so many forms… it’s unnecessary.

Megs:  I couldn’t agree more!  If you could tell the fandom one thing - what would it be?

Max: It would be that we’re all here because we want to have a good time. No one came here to get ridiculed, to be scrutinized or chastised for their opinions, their likes or dislikes. Real life has enough of that going on. We are all individuals - if you want to be treated nicely, fairly, etc. you must also do the same to others. There is no reason someone must agree with you or anyone else. Live and let live. Embrace our differences as it makes us who we are. Most of the issues I see stem from a simple difference in opinion. That is ridiculous. Everyone’s entitled to their own thoughts. We must build each other up, not tear one another down. No one here owes anyone anything, now go have some fun.

(The room stands up in applause!)

Megs:  You should definitely stand up and take a bow, Max! 

(Max does just as Megs suggests - but she also makes Megs stand up and do the same. Laughing, they both sit back down.)

Awh, Max ... okay, let’s get back to you.  We know that you’d fight anyone for the position of The Chris Powell Appreciation/Fan Club.  And for those who don’t know, Max has been retelling the full The Freshman series, interweaving dialogue and plot from PB but also adding much of her own content.  MC and Chris get a backstory.  Chris gets best friends from back home.  What is your favorite piece that you have written?

Max: Oh geez hahaha. Um… can I just say The Freshman Chronicles as a whole? I’ve written for different fandoms, and I have original WIPs but I’ll stick to the Choices fandom for this answer. I’ve put a lot of time into TFC. Tons of additional story work, research on characters and their backgrounds, PBs and my own OCs. You should see my file folder setup haha. It’s crazy… I have so many docs, pictures and gifs. Most organized by location (Hartfeld, Boston, New Haven, Cherryfield, etc.), then by character… and on some I get more detailed and split them by emotion and situation.

Megs: By what again?

Max:  Emotion and Situation ... Yeah. I warned you it was crazy! *laughs* TFC was the reason I joined tumblr really. Instead of staying a Nonny and only reading others posted works. I wanted to comment, like and reblog what I enjoyed, while I also worked on my own contribution to the fandom. I had a vision for Chris and MC that had more than the game could give, and I wanted to see if i was still any good at writing since it had been years and years… it’s funny to see how different my current posts are from my first over a year ago. Makes me want to go update a few because they could use a little help *awkward laugh*

Megs:  I’m sure we can all relate to that!  Hmmm ... I’m starting to get a feel for this, I think, but what is your writing process?

Max:  Lots of planning, mostly in my head. When I feel like I have a decent concept I might type out some notes or work it into my outline (another crazy thing I have going for TFC because it’s so big haha). But usually, once I hatch out a basic plan on where I’m going… I just start typing. Keeping the general plot and main points I want to hit in mind, I simply start typing… keeping it as organic as possible. It usually works out well. 

Megs:  Do you have any advice for other writers?

Max: First, and most importantly… do it because you enjoy it. Don’t do it for likes, reblogs, popularity, etc. If you’re having a good time dreaming things up and typing them out, that’s what’s important. The rest is just an extra bonus. Also, don’t give up. It’s easy to become discouraged, frustrated, distracted and more… but remember - your creative cells can’t be running all the time. They need to rest just like your body. Take breaks… go read, play games, hang out with friends/family, watch a movie… whatever. Just do something to help you relax, to reset and you’ll very probably find inspiration and/or motivation to continue. Remember, this is for fun. *wink and finger guns*

Megs: So what do you do for fun?

Max: I actually have a few things I do regularly. A big one is making costumes/props for conventions, small productions, etc. I also train and show horses. I do the same with my dogs, but more for competitions and not really any shows. I’ve always drawn, sculpted, painted since I was old enough to hold things with my hands… and about a year ago I started learning how to do it digitally as well. I run (not at all for fun haha) and play hockey (totally for fun), follow comics and watch anime. I've restored houses, cars and old furniture. I like to read as much as I can - that’s an important one. I also play video games. Something I’ve done since I was young… I've even competed, and won, a few gaming tournaments.

Megs:  You don’t know how to be bored do you?

Max: LOL, Megs.  Yeah, um, so there’s a “few” *makes air quotes* of my never ending list of interests haha. Gives me a lot to talk about with people, eh?

Megs: Not that I can understand how you’d have time for this ... but what do you do to help pay for your many activities?

Max:  Oh like, my job? Well that can be a simple answer… like “I work in software” but the more interesting way to say it is I use my MBA, experience in business, the financial industry and technology to improve and stabilize my customers environment through technological solutions that fit their specific needs. *presses lips together* I solve problems by designing solutions. Bored yet? Hahaha.

Megs:  No!  That sounds wonderful!  Who doesn’t want their stuff to be designed better?  Any chance you could start working for tumblr?  Some of us have a few complaints ... tags ... mobile losing our work ...

Max:  I’m not sure they could pay me enough to help them with all of their problems!  But, tumblr, feel free to send me an offer!

Megs:  Seriously - send her a 6 figure offer!

Max:  Okay, Megs, well now I have a question for you.

Megs: Uhhhh, Max, that’s not exactly how this is supposed to go. 

Max:  Yeah, don’t care.  Your fans need to know ... Hoooow do you find the time to read and review so much?! And I know that’s just in this fandom.  I know you read books and you may read for other fandoms!?  Seriously, it’s awesome. We need to clock your page flipping speed haha.

Megs:  *blushes* Oh my gosh, you have to stop!  Here’s the key to how I do it ... I wake up at 5:30am and read for about 30 minutes.  Then I workout and start my day.  I read in line at the grocery stores.  I read on my breaks at work. 

Max:  Oh my gosh - you’re such a nerd and I love that!  Okay, nerd, what is your favorite thing to do, besides reading all the things of course?

Megs: This show, of course!  And, of course, getting people to do silly things on this show with me.  For instance - with as athletic as you are, I hear you can’t jump? 

Max:  Megs, shhhhh.  You told me you weren’t going to bring that up.

Megs:  I did no such thing! (Meg says while laughing) I said I might not bring it up.

Max:  Uh huh.

(Kris Kross’s “Jump” starts playing in the studio)

Megs:  Come on - show me what you’ve got! 

(Megs starts “singing” along and jumping along with the song. Max stays seated.  Megs finally pulls Max up into a standing position. Max plays along and “jumps” next to Megs - getting no air at all.)

Oh, come on Max - put some real strength in to it.  Jump! Jump! Jump!

(Max jumps and gets the smallest amount of air time.)

Max:  *laughing* Megs - I’m tall!  I don’t need to jump to reach things!

Megs:  *laughing* That must be nice.  I got good at this type of jumping because I had to learn to jump up and gently grab things from the grocery so I didn’t knock everything down.

*continuing to jump around the audience - getting everyone to join her* And that’s all for the show today today, folks!  Thank you for watching!!  Have a great night!

[justkpopjokes]

oh my goodness, really? Well if you're not busy, would you be able to write a roommate AU for Jun? Please and thank you :) :) :)

Ft. Junhwiiiiiiiiii

AU: college + #9 (From this list)

Summary: where the college heartthrob, your ex-friend, moves in with you to avoid his groupies

A/N: Another older request, sorry for the delay! Enjoy loves~

This is your 3rd year of college

Your college is one of the ones where you can move out of college dorms after freshman year

You never planned on moving out until after you graduated

But life had different plans…

There’s this guy at your school named Jun

Biggest heartthrob in the school

Literally every girl likes him in some way

Even you, just not as a crush. You just like his dancing skills👌

Since all these girls (and guys too!) love him so much, he vowed to never date until graduation

ThERe’s tOo mAnY pEopLe

So he decides to move out of the dorms

But he doesn’t have enough money to live off campus…

So his one option is to find someone to help him pay rent

His friends are staying in the dorms, so can’t room with them if he wants to move out

But uh, if he does it with some random person,,,drAMA

Why not room with the one person who doesn’t want to date him?

You.

You and Junhui aren’t close

But you did spend high school together

He may or may not have had a crush on you in highschool, and you may or may not have turned him down

When he first begged asked you to move in with him, you were about to enter your dorm when he came rushing in

Jun: “Y/N, I know this is a lot to ask…”

Jun: “And we’re not that close…”

Jun: “And I called you cute once in science class…”

You: “JUNGETTOTHEPOINT”

Jun: “OKAY CANYOUMOVEINWITHME?!?”

Why tf—

But this boy is desperate

Would prefer staying with someone he used to like than constantly getting annoyed by all these other people who like him

You honestly don’t want to deal with him and his fans

But I mean he isn’t a bad guy, so…

Ok ok, only until graduation

Cue Jun squeezing you to death

“Okay… no more touching…”

Hi Keep Reading Bar

Before you know it, you’ve moved in with Jun

Tbh it isn’t as bad as you thought

I mean he’s quiet since he wants to stay away from people in general when at home

Usually just puts on a tv show while he does homework

Once, you joined him on the couch watching that tv show while you ate dinner

And that was all you did together at home

Watch that same tv show over and over

You kept watching it with him bc you were interested in the plot

But also to spend time with Jun

Okay okay… so maybe you like him a bit more than you admit

A lot more

It’s just… during highschool you just wanted to be friends

And that’s why you have a hard time looking him in the eyes, why you aren’t close…anymore

You were his best friend in highschool

Helping him with homework

And of course girl trouble

When you rejected his feelings, you felt so guilty that you broke your friend’s heart

And to make it worse, you avoided contact with him because you were too afraid to face him

When the people started trying to date him again, you didn’t help him with their pestering

All he wanted was to love you

And you didn’t let him because you were too afraid of loving him back

Of loving your friend and scared he would shout at you if you spoke to him again

At least the tv show lets you sit next to him without having to speak

A bit of you still hopes he loves you

But at this point it’s a lost cause

Besides that pain in your heart, living with Jun isn’t so bad

The only rule of the house is no one can know that you’re living with him

Pretty easy for you to deal with

…Until they find out he isn’t living alone

Basically one of Jun’s friends accidentally asked how he works with paying rent with someone else

And minutes later he’s running away from a bunch of people through the halls

When he crashes into you also leaving the building

And pulls you home

Next day, everyone thinks you’re dating and bombards you with threats

Stuff like “Either he dates me or nobody!!!” and “He can only date after graduation, get away from him!”

But you’re just constantly arguing “I don’t like the idiot, you idiots. I just pay rent”

Slowly people get the hint, yea you don’t like him

But they still argue bc you called him an idiot those idiots

You stand your ground

Until you hear above the chatter

“You already abandoned him once, it shouldn’t be so hard to do it again”

That’s when the tears start rushing down your face

And you run all the way home, slamming the door behind you

When you turn, you see Jun lying on the couch also with tears down his face

He sees you and turns extremely red and chuckles

“Shit Y/N, you said you’d be home later?”

You just sputter out “I decided to get home earlier”

That’s when he realises you’re crying too

“…I’m guessing you aren’t crying because your favourite tv show character died?”

And you two just burst out laughing

“Seriously Jun?”

“He was so cool!!”

You just sigh hugging yourself in front of the door

Jun sits up and says “Come. Sit down with me.”

And you just

Oh my god what is he going to do iS HE GOING TO FINALLY CONFRONT ME

You silently sit down next to Jun

And he just puts his arms around you and pulls your legs across his lap

“You can tell me what happened now”

You spill your thoughts out until you lose your breath

Jun’s silent for a moment after you finish your story/how sorry you were for what you did in the past

“You know… I still love you”

“You… You do?”

“Why else have I stayed single all these years? I saw some really beautiful women and even more handsome men yknow… I could call them right now—”

You just playfully smack him and give him a long kiss of longing

“…Not to sound weird, but do you know how wet I am right now from our tears”

“Geez you mood-killer”

“Why’ve you been avoiding me all this time?! I’ve been trying to say sorry for scaring you away, but you never replied to my texts…”

“waiT THAT’S WHAT YOU WERE TEXTING—I'm so sorry I blocked—”

Jun just silences you with another kiss

“So will you go out with me? And not run away from my feelings this time?”

“Of course I’ll go out with you, idiot”

“Thank Go—hoLD UP DID SHE JUST TACKLE THAT GUY”

Oh yea the tv’s still on

“Babe did you see that teLL ME YOU SAW THAT”

I CAN’T WITH THIS GIF IT MAKES ME LAUGH

[rezilient-m3]

Weird how I can't see dates on here. Like, I remember when my last post happened, but I don't remember the date. 🤔

Anywhoo, it is October 3rd. Lol. (Future reference). Things are a bit better. (I hope.) School started. All kids are attending and love it! I'm loving the free time. (Didn't find a job lol). Can't really right now. Didn't realize my youngest only goes 2, sometimes 3, days a week. Plus, youth care workers are in demand for after school hours. Can't seem to commit to a job with those kinds of hours just yet. Not when we re all still adjusting.

I've been keeping myself busy. I've made a chore/allowance chart. Worked great for the first 2 weeks lol. Now, kids just do what I ask (most of the time). Should start that up this week. Geez. Then, I made their own separate "spaces" for rooms. T is in the playroom. Alex will put up a wall, once he's done this job. Yes. He's away again. Soon tho. And S & K split the room they were all crammed in. And I've got to say, everything turned out lookong great. I have a bit of a knack for "interior designing" lol. If I do say so myself. 😏 But seriously, I've always loved to redo living spaces, and improving things. I love our home. Girl's appreciated it. Not so much during tho. Specifically T, that big jerk. She thought S's dresser was nicer than hers. (I had gotten them all their own dressers for their rooms.) So, this resulted in an argument, and her leaving just feeling disrespected and unappreciated. I was hurt that day. I wanted to cry- I did cry. Anyways, she asked to switch, I said no, she got upset. She flat out told me she wouldn't do her chore and she didn't need or want her allowance anyways. Then, proceeded to just not listen to what was being asked of her. I gave up and left her alone. But, despite this incident, we seem to be having few of them. Which, makes me grateful that things are changing and improving a bit. But, she still has her moments of bickering and picking unnecessary fights with her siblings.

I've also start counseling. So, far I'm the only one that has been, only twice tho. She's a busy woman. So, new appts with her are well into 3 week mark. We have a family session coming up on the 7th, a couple session on the 8th, individual ones for T & K on the 13th and 18th. Haven't booked for my son and middle daughter, S, just yet. I'm still trying to figure out which way would be best to go about it. Like, I know T & K need it the most. I might decide on all 3 of us will be weekly for awhile, then S & D will be bi-weekly? Idk. So confusing.

The sessions have been good so far. Initial one was just to get to know me. I told her all that I could about myself, my family, Alex, kids, James, the drinking, the sobriety, school. Everything I could in an hour and a half lol. Today was my 2nd one. We ended up talking about Alex and I. I went from the beginning. How I thought we were good, until I found out we weren't. The abuse in the beginning. The drinking. The fighting. The separation. And us getting back together. Then, our most recent issues. Which, I've just realized, I didn't write about that yet. Hmm. Hold on...

My bday. Sept 10. He came home from a job for days off. We have cake and whatever with my twin, my kids, my niece/sister and her brother, and Alex. I tell him I'm going out to give my brother a bday shot. I borrow his car. We go. Now, I didn't expect to take as long as we did, but bottom line, it was 2 hrs! It was my bday! Did that matter? No. I still got in shit. He was upset cuz he came home and felt like a "babysitter". Maybe felt a little disrespected, but that wasn't my intention. I just wanted to spin vlts a little lol. But turned out, I was an ungrateful cunt. Just wow. The things he says when he's upset with me. Just knows how to hurt me. Anywhoo, this point in time, the plan was to look for an used suv for me and the kids while on his days off. He was going to use his line of credit to help me get one, and my dad put 5k into my acct to help. (Blessed.) But this night, when I was so ungrateful, he told me I could go fuck myself and look for my own vehicle for 5k. K den. I went and sleep with our son, after crying on the couch for awhile. Next day, what happens? "Are we going to go look at suvs?" I tell him, "don't bother." I was just being salty cuz I never EVER can get a sincere apology about anything. Everything is just supposed to magically disappear and we move on. NO. I didn't appreciate that. But what could I do? I needed a vehicle, for real. My old one had to be parked because it was/is having major problems lol. So, we go. He pulls out money. We get the 1st one we looked at. I'm happy. And we just go back to normal. So dumb lol. UNTIL, a week later. I'm at bingo with my niece J. We get her male friend to babysit, cuz Alex went back to work and she decided to stay and visit me. Anywhoo, while playing I told Alex that he probably couldn't call our son to say g'night cuz the babysitter didn't have fb. All he said was "well, guess I'll just go to bed then." I say, "okay." Then few moments later, "I hate lies. Enjoy your date." Like, tf? Jisg out of nowhere. So, i wrote a paragraph about how the hell do I get accused when I'm not doing anyrhing to support his ridiculous accusations. All I do is a be a mum, take care of everything else and go to bingo. Seriously? And just accused him of projecting and blocked him. I was shook. Mostly mad and offended. I didn't speak to him that whole next day. He could have easily texted me, but didn't lol. Not until I had to explain my fb post. Cuz it was my sister and her husband's anniversary, so I was going to bbq for them. He thought I was throwing a "party". Whatever. But then, he texted asking whe am I going to talk to him again, and how I shouldn't be thinking he's doing anything cuz he tells me what he's doing every second of everyday. Like, sorry if I didn't, but doesn't mean I'm out here being shady. How the hell would I even be able to with 4 young kids at home? Grow up. Ugh, I was just upset. But, he's always been good at saying the right things. "He doesn't want to ever lose me. He loves me. He goes crazy and can't function when things aren't right between us...." Then, stop saying stupid shit to push me away or make me wonder if you're even in this relationship 100%. Geez.

Me telling all of this to my counselor, made her say right now there's no way we can be a family unit with him having all this power and me feeling insecure with our living situation and the fear of him taking it all away. Like, when he says shit like "find your own place to stay". It's abusive. So, that's how my session, on the 8th, turned into a couple session lol. I'm nervous about it. The only way I knew how to talk to him about anything serious, was through letters or messaging. (Probably a confrontation thing. Or conflict thing. Makes me super uncomfortable.) But we need to learn eventually. Cuz I want this. I want us, forever. I hope he does too. It's going to take work. Scary work. Lol. Pray for me.

He comes home soon. Since that last fight, we've seemed to be okay. (We always "seem" to be until it doesn't tho lol). But I love him. He's my luv. I'm trying. 🤷‍♀️

But I'm tired. It's late. All I've got for now. Good night. Until next time. ✌&❤

[burnt-tomato]

“Soba ni ite Hoshii”

Hinata Shouyo x Reader

Introduction: Hinata has seen you as someone special, but couldn’t take the courage to say it out loud. He begged his team to help him out and give him a step up, but anything they adviced didn’t work out like they imagined it would. There was this upcoming school festival for Karasuno High. Will Hinata finally grab the chance to tell you or would it take him much longer to be ready.

Anime: Haikyuu!!

Genre: Fluff

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴

[“Hey y/n.”

“Mmmm?”

“You never knew what Soba no ite hoshii meant right?”

“Nah. You did tease me about it though.”

“Then I’ll tell you.”

“Will you really?”

“Yes. Y/n… Soba no ite hoshii!” Hinata blurted out loud without hesitation.

“? We’re you saying that to me? Because if it was, I didn’t understand haha. Sorry Hinata.”

“I’ll tell you, y/n… do you-”]

.

.

.

“Y/N!!” Hinata shouted your name while waving his hands and running towards you. “Thanks again for the meat buns you bought me yesterday. You’re a real lifesaver!”. Yesterday Hinata walked with you because your houses were close. He got really angry and told you he forgot his wallet at home, so you bought him some of his favorite, meat buns.

“Nah dude, don’t mention it! You don’t have to owe me even if I always buy you food after school”. He smiled widely and went to Kageyama, supposedly to discuss about their quick, which just ended with them bickering at each other.

Tanaka walked over to you and got close to your ears and whispered. “Hey y/n, mmmmmm is it just me or you and Hinata auhhhh… have gotten closer?”

“Hm? Well dUh. We walk to school together, we walk home together, we’re in the same grade, we’ve been friends since middle school, and were basically neighbors. Are you stupid?”

“THatS nOt wHat i mEanT- yknow what, nevermind” he said as he walked away to Daichi and spoke to him.

You noticed your phone ringing…

Unread Messages

Y/n where are You? I thought that you agreed to hang out with us after school today.

“Ah. Sorry. I forgot. I’ll be there, so wait for me.”

Are you with Hinata and his volleyball team again? You spend your after school hours there, so hang out with us for a chance.

“Fine fine. I’ll tell them that I have stuff to take care of. But ill only do this today.”

Thanks y/n!!

You looked up from your phone.

“Daichi-san, I’m really sorry but I have to go. I have some outside school things to take care of, but only for today! I’ll make sure to come tomorrow.”

“Oh y/n. Of course you can!”

“K guys! I’ll head out now.” You said as you waves your hand above your head and rushed out.

[♤: Even if y/n is gone, the story continues on even without her, and in this part the perspective is 3rd person to narrate everyone’s perspective]

The end of practice drew closer, and the boys went to their clubroom to change.

“Crap. Exams are drawing near, and after that, a 3-day festival, and after are the finals.” Yamaguchi said.

“Yeah…wait. E-exams? C r a p.” Hinata said

“Kshh, oooooh that’s gonna hurt.” Suga said

“N-nevermind! I’ll just ask y/n for help! She’s really smart and good in teaching, and she’s also really nice.” Hinata said

“Yeah. If you pass the exam period, you can still enjoy the festival.” Daichi said

“Hey Hinata. Since yknow, y/n has helped you alot till now, especially during exams right? So don’t you like, wanna repay her back somehow?” Ennoshita said

“Yeah, like inviting her to the festival and yknow, finally tell her how you feel, or something?” Tanaka said teasingly

Hinata’s cheeks grew bright red and instantly looked away. “Wha-? W-what are you s-saying?” He stuttered

“Oh c'mon Hinata, it’s hella obvious that you both like eachother. Anyone could tell, even the dumbest person we know can.” Suga said

“N-no I don’t! Besides, we’ve been friends for so long, she’s seen how stupid I am, so obviously she’ll never like me. I can’t even gather up the courage to tell her, heck, I don’t even know how to set the right time to let her know!” Hinata said

“Mmmmmm…. then.. we’ll help you out! How ‘bout asking her to teach you? So if you confess by then, you both would have fUn together at the festival. Or at least hint it, yknow?” Nishinoya said

“During a study session? Noya that’s like the worst time to tell someone your feelings. This is why Kiyoko doe- u r g h-” Noya screams at the top of his lungs to overlap what Suga was saying

“Mmmmm… I’m not sure about this. I can barely stay focus when with her.. maybe we- I shouldn’t.”

“Dumbass. If you won’t do it now, when will you? You’re just gonna sit there till she finds someone else? If you really don’t want to lose her, then at least make your move now. One day you’ll regret not telling her if you don’t, so get moving and let us- I mean tHEm help you.” Kageyama said wow some actually good advice from kags. How rare.

“Wow. Who knew? Kageyama can actually say stuff that are helpful?”

“K r00d.” Kageyama snarled

“Heh. Fine. Since you’re all willing to help, I guess the least I can do is set your plans to work.” Hinata said.

“Ok. Since we’ve been planning for this day since the time you introduced y/n to us, we have a plan in mind already. Care to say it Suga?” Daichi said

“Ok. Y/n sucks at Japanese right? So here’s what you have to do….. did you get that?” Suga asked

“Mmmm… yeah. Kinda” Hinata said

They all called it a day and went straight home.

You were about to sleep when you heard your phone buzz, revealing a message.

Ah. Y/n. Sorry for messaging you this late

“Mmm Hinata? No no it’s Fine! What’s up?”

Well I’m pretty sure you have like alot to do and I’m just being a bother because I always ask you about this buuuuttttt

“Mmmmmm it’s about the exams isn’t it? It’s fine! I’ll help you study, and you can even bring Kageyama too, maybe Noya-san and Tanaka-san too.”

Haha yeah. I forgot that your knowledge is actually advanced, so you’re capable of teaching upperclassmen.

Hinata told Tanaka and Nishinoya, as well as Kageyama and Yamaguchi what y/n told him. This boosted the chances of their plan and to offer Hinata support.

3 days till exams, 4 days till the festival, and 7 days till Finals. Goal, to carry out the plan before Finals comes.

Hinata and the others were able to come to your class during breaks and free periods and study hours.

“So y/n, you sucked at Japanese literature, right? Even if you speak Japanese, it’s hard for you to actually write what certain words say.” Kageyama asked

“Ah, yes that’s true lol. But isn’t that the subject that Hinata’s good at? That’s why I asked him to teach me that” you said

As time went by, you all continued to share learning and understandings, plus you were able to help even the second years alot.

“Ah, Hinata! What does Soba ni Ite Hoshii mean?”

“Mmmmm… that means-oW” Hinata said, surprised. Tanaka gave him a soft kick on the leg and shot him a look. “Are you stupid Hi- ah- y/n? Everyone knows that!” Tanaka exclaimed.

You pouted. You were confused as to why they didn’t tell you what it meant but teased you instead. But that didn’t bother You, you wanted to focus on studying and to pass your exams to be able to enjoy the festival with your friends.

2 days till exams, 3 days till the festival, and 6 days till Finals. Goal, to carry out the plan before Finals comes.

“Y/n!!!! How tf do you do that Pythagorean theorem nonsense whatever that shit is again??”

“Oh! Tanaka-san! I’ll teach you, you do this and that then you do that” (♤: ok like I can’t describe how this theorem stuff works so I ain’t using my time to Google it and copy paste it here lmao)

“Psstt! Shou, what’s Soba ni ite Hoshii meaannnnn??” You asked. “Hmmmmm… I’ll tell you if you buy me 10 meat buns for the entire year.” He said. “GeEz fInE u d0nT hAvE t0 tElL mE” Damn Shou be bullyin you nowadays.

“I’ll tell you after exams” he said as he half smiled at you. “0r mAyBe n0t”. Damn Shou be savage.

Tomorrow are the exams, 2 days till the festival, and 5 days till Finals. Goal, to carry out the plan before Finals comes.

“Hey y/n, after school today, want to stop by Ukai-san’s shop and buy some meat buns?”. “Shou we always stop by there and I’m the one paying for our food.”

“Ok guys. Tomorrow are the exams, so show me how much you’ve learned from me by passing the exams so we can enjoy our 3-day festival to rest up before finals”

After studying together with the others, you finally wrapped up and separated ways, with you stopping by the shop to buy some snacks then walking home with Hinata.

Today are exams, tomorrow is the festival, and 4 days till Finals. Goal, to carry out the plan before Finals comes.

Time seemed slow. The entire class remained quiet, but deep inside, everyone was panicking. Today is the day of exams. Today is the day that’ll determine who gets to enjoy the festival and who won’t. It was obvious in the atmosphere surrounding the school that no one dared to make a single sound.

“Time’s up class, pass em in. The results will come out by the end of the day, but for now, turn to page 345 of your Mathematics textbooks and answer the 50-item Chapter Review there.” The teacher said. You all watched the teacher’s every step as she exits the classroom. Once she closes the door, everyone breathed out a huge sigh of relief. You could hear everyone talking to one another, transferring seats, and talking about how hard the test was and what challenged them the most, but all you thought was I wonder how Shou and the others did… I hope they pass so that we can all enjoy the festival together.

Hours and hours passed by. You couldn’t take it. You were minutes away from hearing about the results, and everyone was scared shitless. Everyone was restless, and you were sure that the only thing in everyone’s minds was I hope i pass, even if I get the exact passing grade, just let me pass.

The teacher came in, carrying cards that probably contains your grades and how well you did. No one dared to breathe a single sound. Everyone barely moved. Everyone seemed to be stuck on their chairs, all eyes are focused unto the teacher’s hands.

“Well start with the students at the back row, once I call your surname, stand up and retrieve your grading cards. We’ll start with… Nichiiyama…”

Nichiiyama stood up, his movements were stiff and his hands were shaking as he held his card, and quietly made his way to his chair. The teacher continued calling students’ names, until she called yours. You stood up stiffly, making your way to the front desk and held up your hands and- “Good work y/n.. You scored the top grades in the class. Continue your good work, alright?” The teacher whispered into your ear and patted your back. As you walked back, you opened your card and saw that your grades were either 1 or 2 in every subject. You sighed when a huge wave of relief came over you. The only thing you’re worried about now is how Hinata and the others did.

“Aaanddd that’s all of You. Those who didn’t make it, you’ll be spending your 3-day break in Supplementary classes to retake your tests and pass, but those who passed, you’re free to enjoy the festival as you wish. That’s all for today, and let’s see eachother next week.” The teacher bowed and made their way to the door. Everyone started to pack up, chatting with eachother about how they did, or who passed. “Hey y/n, did You pass?” Your friend asked. “Yeah I did, how about you?”. “Man, I barElY made it, yknow? My scores were a solid 42 and around 40s, and my grades were Like, 3 and 3.5! I was lucky to make the 40-grade mark. Btw y/n, do you want to hang out after school today?”. “Ah… I’m not sure… I have to stop by the club today, but I’ll catch up with you.”

You rushed out of the classroom and to the gym. You arrived to the clubroom with the 3rd years inside already, and Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita. “Oh hey y/n, you’re here early. Your students aren’t here yet, but they should be arriving soon” Narita said. You waited and waited for them while playing animal crossing on your phone.

“Y/n!! Y/n!! We passed! We fuckin passed! How in the world did I passs??”. Tanaka said running towards the room, teary- eyed. “Idiot! It’s all because y/n helped us!” Noya said, smacking Tanaka’s back. “Yeah, it’s all thanks to you, y/n. We’ll be able to enjoy the festival because of your work. Even I passed all of the exams.” Kageyama then bowed. “Ah- no you don’t need to thank me! I didn’t do much, you should thank yourselves, for working hard to pass! All I did was help you get there.” You said. You turned to look for Hinata and hear about his results. “Heh. Yeah. Thanks so much y/n, we passed because of your help. So uh… because of your help and all uhm.. I wanted to somehow repay you and stuff..” Everyone turned their heads to Hinata and you, somehow expecting something or an answer. “What is it Shou?” You asked. “Well uh.. I was thinking that since you helped all of us and personally you help me alot everyday I was wondering if you wanted to come to the festival with me.. I mean all of us ofcourse!” He said shyly, his cheeks heating up a bit and fiddling with his fingers. Everyone looked like they were gonna laugh and some were smiling widely. “Ofcourse I’ll go! I was planning to anyways, but I gotta go right now since my friends and I are going out for a bit, so I’ll meet you all by the entrance tomorrow! See ya.” You said as you rushed out of the room and met up with your friends. As you left, Hinata looked like he was about to faint and exploding.

.

.

.

Geh. I’m too early.. we all agreed to meet up by 3pm.. and look at this, it’s only 1:30pm and I’m already here. Guess I should walk around for now till they come-

“Y/n?” You were surprised to see the 3rd years standing by the entrance, along with the 2nd years and the 1st years, except one person..

“Why isn’t Hinata with you, y/n? Aren’t you 2 neighbors?” Ennoshita asked. “Mmmm, his mom said he might get there late and told me to get along, so I decided to wait for him here.” You told them.

“Crap.. If Hinata doesn’t show up, what’s the point of doing all this?” Tanaka whispered to Suga. “Don’t say that, we just have to do as we planned. I’ll call Hinata to check up on him.” Suga whispered. “I’ll go over there for a while to call someone, k?” Suga walked over by the trees and took out his phone and dialed Hinata’s number.

“Hinata, where are you?”

Suga-san? Oh sorry, I didn’t feel well when I woke up… My mom said that I should rest, I’m really sorry… you all planned for this day, but I blew it, just because of a godDAMN fever-

“Nono it’s fine Hinata. Don’t apologize, I understand, these stuff happen unexpectedly, but it’s not like you lost your chance, alright? Remember, this plan is full proof and we have 3 days of the festival! Although I’m not sure if you can heal up by Then, but we’ll have to hope for the best. Just, rest up right now ok? So you can catch up.”

Alright Suga-san. Bye.

Suga puts down his phone and walks over to where the others are. “Well, Hinata wouldn’t make it today… he’s gotten a fever. But he said that he’ll try his best to make it tomorrow though! So let’s enjoy this day and hope that he feels better, especially with Finals coming up soon.”

Damnit Shou. You’re the one who invited me, then you’re the one who wouldn’t make it.. sigh.. I’ll just drop by your house later I guess… I do hope that he’ll feel better soon, I wanted to tell him something and decided that the festival would be nice…

Despite Hinata’s absence, you all tried to enjoy the festival. Checking out every stall, entering games and winning them, and eating with the team. You decided to bring Hinata a stuffed crow you won at one of the shooting games, and to stop by a convenience store to buy him some food.

“Alright guys, we’ll all meet by here tomorrow at the same time, if you can. But we’ll all be there at the last day of this festival, okay? On the 3rd day there’ll be a fireworks showcasing, and i think that’ll be fun and calming so all should be present by Then, but for now, all of you go home and rest.” Daichi said. Everyone began to separate ways, including you. You walked lazily, not used to walking at night alone. Looking up at the sky, you remembered how you and your friends always went out stargazing during cold winter nights like this. Even if you were wearing a yukata that travelled along your feet, you could still feel the cold air breezing through. After stopping by the store to buy some food, you started walking up the mountain road towards home. You were cold and freezing. You were lonely.

“Walking home at nights like this without anyone to talk to sure is lonely.” You let out a little chuckle afterwards.

“It sure is. Why didn’t you call me that you were heading home? I could’ve walked with you.” You jolted. You were sure that you were alone while Walking, but as you faced infront of you, you saw Hinata in his pajamas, holding a jacket. “Here. You must be freezing.. Sugawara told me that you all went home, so I tried to get out to bring you home, but Natsu insisted me to stay. I had to give her one of those ‘Play with Sister for 1 hour Coupon’ just so I can leave lol.. ah! You must be freezing, here, wear this.” He said as he put on the jacket on you. You felt safe and warm, and complete with him. You both shared chars and laughs as you walked, which reminded you from when you were middle schoolers.

The next day you called Hinata’s house number, but his mom was the one who picked up, saying that he wouldn’t be able to come again, but he was feeling a little bit better. You thanked her and dropped the phone. He’s still not healed up yet, huh? What should I do for today? If I go to the festival, it would be boring because we already experienced all of it yesterday, and plus Hinata wouldn’t even be able to come with us..

Since you weren’t feeling like doing anything productive today, you just slept till afternoon.

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.

.

“Shit-! I slepT an entire day? Is it seriously the last day of the festival?? I only planned to sleep till afternoon, so how is it the next day already?? Geh, fuck that. I should just get changed to meet up with the others. Especially that today is when all of us should be present..” either way, you got up and got dressed. After getting ready, you found yourself standing infront of Hinata’s doorstep. I probably shouldn’t disturb him, he might still be resting. You decided to go on alone.

You met up with the others and surprisingly-

“Hey y/n..”. You saw Hinata standing infront if everyone. “Sorry I didn’t tell you that I decided to go on ahead. I wanted to sorta… surprise you I guess…haha” Hinata said with a short laugh. “It took awhile, but when he called up on me, he said that he was feeling a bit better, although he still has a bit if his fever.” Yamaguchi said

You were really happy that you’re able to spend the last day of the festival with him especially so that you could finally tell him.

You spent the entire day playing games, eating in every stall, and watching the band’s perform. You all had an amazing time together. Suga and Daichi trying to contain Tanaka and Noya, Ennoshita, Kinoshita and Narita all sitting in a bench calmly, Tsukki and Yams playing with the fish thing, yknow… the one ripoff game where you catch fish using a paper on a handle thing but the fish wouldn’t survive an entire month, Asahi and Kiyoko looking at souvenir shops, while you and Hinata, long with Kageyama, go around eating everywhere.

Finally, 8pm came around. The fireworks were said to start at 8:30, so you all decided to get a spot to put a tent on so you could all wait.

Hinata was with Tanaka, Noya, Kageyama, and Suga. “C'mon Hinata, now is nOt the time for you to back out! This is finally the moment you can tell her!” Suga said. “Yeah! Shouyo, this is now or never, if you don’t do it now, then when will You? Noya asked. “You don’t want to lose y/n right? Then take it now.” Kageyama said.

Hinata wasn’t sure. All he could thing was what if she doesn’t feel the same? If I told her and turns out it isn’t mutual… wouldn’t that make our friendship awkward? What if confessing just break the history we had? What if-

“I’m sorry guys… I’m… just not sure I can. What if she doesn’t feel the same? Then that would just ruin everything… maybe we should give this more thought…” Hinata sighed. “Yeah But.. Hinata what if-”. Suga was cut off by Hinata standing up. He smiled then said “Its alright… if she does find someone… then I’ll support her whole- heartedly.”

He stood up and walked over by the trees. “Hinata wait-”

He sighed. “Heh. What was I thinking? Actually hoping that if I confess, it would work out? She probably doesn’t like me at all honestly..”

20 minutes passed by. No one could find where Hinata went. “Suga! Dis you check any of the stalls?” “Yes we did! But he wasn t there! I don’t think he’s at the festival anymore..” “maybe he went home already?”

You helped everyone search for him. What was he thinking? Wandering off like that out of nowhere.. Dammit Shou! Where are You? You saw a trail of footsteps towards the forest. You thought that just maybe, he might have went there..

You walked through… and as soon as you saw light, you saw..

“Shou?” You asked quietly. He froze for a minute. When he turned around to face You, you noticed that he had tears running down his face.

“H-hey Shou… why are you- are you alright?” You asked. You walked towards him slowly

“Y/n… I uh.. I’m sorry for disappearing so suddenly.. I didn’t mean to- i-” he stops. “I wasnt-” he pauses. He quickly wipes his tears and plaster a huge smile on his face

You instantly run up to him, and throw you arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Idiot. At least tell me if you’re going to disappear like that..” You release.

“Haha.. yeah.. sorry about that..”

Crap.. is it almost 8:30? We better get back to the others before we miss the firewo-

Just as you were tugging his shirt, signaling that you both go back, he grips your arm.

“Maybe we should stay. The view is nice out here.” He says with a soft voice

“Yeah.. but what about the others?” You asked. “They’ll be fine.. since you haven’t come back yet it’s obvious that you’ve found me already.” He says. You both stood next to eachother waiting for the fireworks. Hinata stood silently looking at the sky with a wide smile on his face.

“Its been a while since we went stargazing..” he said. “Ah. Haha yes it has..” You said. There was a moment of silence and awkwardness. You wanted to break this unstoppable silence covering the two of you-

“Hey y/n.. have I ever told you what Soba ni Ite Hoshii meant?”

“Mmmmm… nah. You all teased me about not knowing it though..”

“Then I’ll tell You, right now..”

He takes a deep breath then.. “Y/n! Soba ni Ite Hoshii-!” He takes a few steps back, trying to process what he has said without thinking.

“What? A sorry Shou… I didn’t really know what it means lol… Maybe if you can tell me in English?” You laugh nervously.

“Fine.. y/n.. I-”

You could hear the fireworks blasting off with your left ear. You both stood firmly from where you where standing. The fireworks were loud, loud enough to overlap what he meant. But You heard him loud and clear. What he said caused your heart to skip a beat. You couldn’t process properly what you had heard. You thought that you were somewhat dreaming.

You both stood in silence, both yours and Hinata’s faces were red. You were speechless.

“Shou.. i-”. “I get it y/n.. it’s not the same huh? Maybe we should just stay as friends.. or if that’s too awkward for you-” he pauses. He turns back, waving his hand to signal you that you both should go back.

But I haven’t given him my answer yet…

You grip his arm, jerking him towards you. “Shou please listen for a while..”

You told him everything you’ve hidden since God knows when. All you could think was this is it. This is now or never. There’s no backing out now. If i don’t tell him now, when will I? I don’t want to lose him. You were speaking in a hushed tone, your face heating up, your heartbeat growing faster and faster, but you knew that you shouldn’t stop. You didn’t.

After you told him, you tried to avoid eye contact. He pulls you closely, your faces drawing nearer eachother. You felt his hands tightly behind you back, yours on his. His face resting in your shoulder, beside your face.

“Does this mean we-”

“Dammit Shou, don’t make it more awkward than it is already” you laughed.

“Hahaha yeah… but we should really go back to the others now y/n..” He said. “I guess we should lol.” You hold his hand tightly as you both walked towards your team.

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“Congrats on your win at the Finals, Shou.” You giggled as you both walked home. “Thanks y/n, but I wouldn’t have done my best without you watching us.” He says. “Damn, since when have you been romantic?”. “Shut up.” Hinata says looking away.

“Hey y/n… stay with me always, will You?”

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The cringe is unbearable in this one lol. Sorry for the late post and for being wAy t00 inactive lmao. It took me some time to decide what I’m doing first but I finally finished this lol.

Feel free to send in requests for hcs, scenarios and oneshots!

-♤