#gc2019

[firstumcschenectady]

“Grieving Jesus” based on 2 Samuel 1:17-27 and John 16:16-22

This week I found myself in multiple conversations about “the day the church died.” That was February 26, 2019, and the following day the Love Your Neighbor Coalition held a worship service that was a funeral for The United Methodist Church.

Now, let's assume that if I found myself in multiple conversations about this, I may have been the one bringing it up – although I'm not actually sure that's the only truth. But we can go with it. It has led me to wonder why: why, 4 ½ years later, this is coming up.

However, some of you may be lucky enough not to know what I'm talking about, and I don't like leaving people in the dark. In 1968 The United Methodist Church was born when the Methodist Church and the Evangelical United Brethren Church merged. Both churches had powerful histories with social creeds, and at the birth of the church a study commission was created to write a new set of “Social Principals” to guide the newly formed church. The study commission brought its recommendations to the 1972 General Conference. They did a nice job. They included in their recommendation, in a piece about human sexuality, "Persons of homosexual orientation are persons of sacred worth."

Now, that phrase isn't exactly a bombshell, right? I mean, DUH, "Persons of homosexual orientation are persons of sacred worth." But when I think about the Queer and Trans justice movements in the USA, the 1972 church study commission offering the words "Persons of homosexual orientation are persons of sacred worth" was a good start.

Today we're talking about grief – because the scriptures handed us those topics on a platter – and when I think about the church's failures to LGBTQIA+ people, my grief starts escalating at this point in our history. With those decent words "Persons of homosexual orientation are persons of sacred worth." on the table in front them, along with A WHOLE LOT OF other words about a WHOLE LOT of other topics, some people decided that those words were too strong and required caveats. Terrible ones. So they changed it, and eventually the 1972 Book of Discipline would read "Persons of homosexual orientation are persons of sacred worth. We do not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider it incompatible with Christian teaching.” They also added, "We do not recommend marriage between two persons of the same sex,” although I think the greater gut punch was in the first addition.

People of good faith in The United Methodist Church have been trying to remove those words ever since. While there were setbacks along the way, for a while there also seemed to be movement towards inclusion of all of God's people. The people committed to exclusion seemed to be losing the battle, until they weren't. By 2016 it was clear that the movements for inclusion had reached a series of dead-ends: General Conference was not going to change the church's stance, the Judicial Council was going to uphold it, the Bishops en mass were not going to stand against it, and the capacity to fight things on localized levels was extremely limited. Based work in the first week of General Conference, it was clear that The UMC was about to enact a series of changes that would decimate its LGBTQIA+ community, one that was already experiencing a spiritual and literal bloodbath.

Good students of nonviolent social action know that when all the other avenues are closed to you, you raise the temperature in the room, in hopes of motivating change. Good students of nonviolent social action were in that room, organizing. The United Methodist Church was about to face two horrible options: mass arrests of nonviolent protesters, or protesters shutting down the floor of General Conference preventing their work from being completed. (I'm so thankful for good organizers, aren't you?)

The Church choose a third option. They created another study commission (I'm barely refraining from extensive commentary on study commissions and the church) “The Commission on a Way Forward” that was to bring to a SPECIAL SESSION of General Conference – 2019 – a way forward that would …. well, let's be honest... they wanted a way forward that would keep Queer and Trans people and their allies form making the church look bad while appeasing the conservatives. But, at that point, ANYTHING looked better than where we were headed, and forcing some new thinking on the topic felt like a victory.

When 2019 came the “Way Forward Commission” put forward a very milquetoast proposal “The One Church Plan”, the Queer Clergy Caucus put forward a truly excellent proposal called “The Simple Plan,” and the conservatives put forward a scare tactic they called “The Traditional Plan.” Confession time: I didn't think the Simple Plan (which was hands down the best plan) could win, so I put my energy on to passing The One Church Plan which was a horrible compromise that I justified as being a step forward we could pass. Turns out I was wrong all over the place, and we couldn't pass it – AND the support for the Simple Plan was almost exactly as high as The One Church Plan. Turns out, the votes went to The Traditional Plan which was simply so horrendous it didn't seem possible it could ever happen. It felt like a caricature of itself, like what a satire magazine would produce as a conservative think-piece.

When it passed, the denomination lost any remaining integrity, and any claim on Godliness. As a clergy person I have made commitments not only to God but also to THIS denomination. I'd experienced the Divine through the UMC, I loved it, I wanted to make it better, and I wanted to work in it to make the world the kindom of God. On that day, I no longer saw a connection between God and the church.

Now, it always needs to be said, I wasn't the primary one harmed by The Traditional Plan. It set out to harm Queer and Trans people, and it did. Any damage to me, and others who know a God Who Celebrates Diversity, was mere icing on the cake. And yet, to be in a denomination that does harm like that ON PURPOSE, wrecked me. It was some of the strongest grief I've ever experienced.

And maybe this week proved, it still is. The unfortunate reality is that while many of us were grieving The United Methodist Church, things were also really hard around here in this local church, and things were pretty bad in the USA and sometimes the world, and the grief probably didn't get the time or space it needed. And then there was COVID, and the time to grieve simply dissipated. That's actually my working theory on why this is coming up again – the grip of COVID has finally lowered enough that there is space for the stuff we were working on before it started.

You've heard me reflect on a really non-traditional grief so far today. We most often think of grief as relating to the loss of a person, and I think we make the most space for that kind of grief. But we miss a lot when we limit it that way. The Dictionary of Pastoral Care and Counseling says grief is “The complex interaction of affective, cognitive, physiological, and behavioral responses to the loss by any means of a person, place, thing, activity, status, bodily organ, etc., with whom (or which) a person has identified, who (or which) has become a significant part of an individual's own self.”1 (emphasis mine)

So to keep going with this truly uplifting sermon ;) I want to talk about some significant communal grief that I have seen in our community. It may be that some of us don't feel some of these, but I think all of them are in us together. And, because I think there is some power in it, we're going to try this as a liturgy, after I say each piece, I invite you to respond, “Holy One, help us hold our grief.”

For the ones we have known, and loved, and lost - Holy One, help us hold our grief.

For the ones we thought we had time to get to know and love – and lost - Holy One, help us hold our grief.

For the church that we thought would become open to people of all ages, nations, races, genders, and sexualities - Holy One, help us hold our grief.

For the community that we hoped would welcome vulnerable immigrants with open arms - - Holy One, help us hold our grief.

For the nation that we thought would prioritize the vulnerable - Holy One, help us hold our grief.

For the world that we thought would work more on climate change than on enriching the already rich - Holy One, help us hold our grief.

For this local church that we hoped could be free from the anxiety in each of us and around all of us - Holy One, help us hold our grief.

For the people and places we trusted, who ended up having different values that we do, and it felt like betrayal - Holy One, help us hold our grief.

For who we thought we'd be, but we aren't - Holy One, help us hold our grief.

Amen

If we take that definition of grief seriously, then grief is the response to the loss of something a person identifies with. It is a loss of a part of ourselves. In some of what we said above, I think it is the loss of hope. That's a really serious loss, one that may characterize our age.

The work of grief is the slow work of creating new identity in a new reality. Where one might have identified as a spouse, one now has to figure out what it means to be a widow or widower. Where one might have identified with a strength, now there is a need to identify with a weakness. Where one might have chosen hope, one now there is a need to identify with the experience of hopelessness.

It is clear why grief takes a while, and why the more strongly one identifies with someone or something, the longer it takes to form a new identity, and why one might not want to!

I'm really struck in the gospel by the idea that the disciples started grieving the eventual loss of Jesus while he was still with them. I'm annoyed by it. I want it to be untrue. But I think that probably was the case. The disciples probably could see where Jesus's ministry was heading, and while they may have been in denial about it, it was still there pressing on them. Even during the life and ministry of Jesus there was grief pushing around the edges that they were going to lose him. I can't think of much more of a human reality than that one.

The reading from 2 Samuel is almost too much to hold. The depth of David's grief feels so vulnerable that my instinct is to look away because I don't know him well enough to be privy to it. That said, it is written in Bible, and you might not have heard it, so let me summarize. David is grieving Saul who was his king and adversary (#complicated) and Saul's son Jonathan who was at least his best friend and probably lover (#alsocomplicated).

Don't go around sharing that the mighty have fallen -

I don't want our enemies to rejoice at this heartbreak.

Let those who failed to support Saul struggle, as payback.

Saul and Jonathan weren't weak, don't say they were weak, they brought others down with them.

They were together in life, and they are together in death.

Women, weep - these were the ones who took care of you.

My love has been killed, and I grieve.

He was my delight, his love gave me life.

The mighty have fallen, and I grieve.

My word for you today is an odd one. Traditionally speaking, I should turn this sermon around and end on an up-note, but that feels trite. I can say that the things we grieve are most commonly things we loved, and the grief is a reflection of that love. That's good. But really, my point today is this: grief is imperative and hard work. There is no way through it except through it. It doesn't go away because we don't like it, or we deny it, or we can't handle it. Like many things based in our bodies or emotions, either we make space to grieve or grieve will make space in us to come out – usually in ways we'll hate.

And yet, God is with us. God is with us, holding us when we grieve. We are not alone, even when we feel the most alone. We are not lost to God, even when we don't know who we are anymore. For me, that's good news. In fact, it is enough. Thanks be to God who holds us when we grieve. Amen

1Rodney J. Hunter, general editor, Dictionary of Pastoral Care and Counseling (Abington Press: Nashville, 1990), page 472.

Rev. Sara E. Baron  First United Methodist Church of Schenectady  603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305  Pronouns: she/her/hers  http://fumcschenectady.org/  https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

September 24, 2023

[gebo4482]

Little Nightmares II - PS4 / Xbox One / PC Digital / Switch

[a-little-lost-at-sea]

@queerchristianaffirmations said this in a post today and i really needed it (feel free to use or save!)

[ID: A circle of light pink and cream flowers and green leaves on a white background. In the center of the circle are the words “gay love forever amen.” The words “gay love” and “amen” are in light pink cursive, and “forever” is in all caps in dark gray. End ID.]

[m8imedia]

He and his moth friend is ready for the hunt.

https://www.instagram.com/megasomacreations

[pastorwitch]

Marie Kondo: *Holding up the UMC* Does this church spark joy?

The Gays: NOOOOOOO!

Marie Kondo: *Casts UMC into the void.*

[wukasz]

USWNT >>> USMNT

[trashdadjoel]

Gamescom 2019 impressions so far:

- so much merchandise I would need to sell a kidney

- whoever yells the loudest gets the free stuff

- if you want to play anything big, bring a chair and 2-4 hours of queue time

- the toilets are fairly clean and the ones behind the XBOX area are almost empty all the time

- FF7 looks cool

- I was told there would be free keybands but have not gotten any so far

- some people don't know what hygiene is

- it's not as hot in the halls as I heard

- so far, every person on any stage made the impression of not wanting to be there

[emily-sue]

My heart weeps as the global United Methodist Church chooses to regress instead of progress.

May God be with all those affected and hurt by this decision.

[doyoulikebroccoli]

Bro, I gotta stay a Methodist cause John Wesley was the bomb, but we're making it reeeeal difficult. I wish everyone would magically interpret the Quadrilateral the same way I do.

The Weslyan Quadrilateral is what we're supposed to use to develop theology and policy. We consult scripture, tradition, reason, and experience before making decisions.

Some people care more about tradition than reason and experience. Some people interpret scripture differently than others. Which means I can't be married or ordained in my own denomination right now.

[priestessamy]

I’m gonna talk about a thing because people in my facebook and twitter already know how I feel about it and I think I just need to vent.

So some background for folks who don’t know me so well, I grew up in the United Methodist Church. It’s always been a denomination with a lot of good and a lot of bad that kinda balanced out into this weird, sorta nice experience.

When I was a babby teenager, I was pretty dang religious and honestly kinda conservative too. And that tapered off as I got into college, even though I always knew that I wanted to be a religious leader. Which I worked on. I went to theology school, which was amazing. That was where I learned a lot about myself. That was where I tried weed for the first time. That was one of the first times I ever had a drunk make-out with a friend that turned awkward.

It’s also when I realized I was queer.

And the thing is, the UMC has always had a REALLY awkward stance with queer people. Ever since the... 1970s-ish, they’ve had some very explicit rules in their social rules about both members and pastors being “openly practicing homosexuals” and zero rules about trans people, but you could FUCKING GUESS. And everything really just came down to individual people. It was up to each and every pastor how closely they would follow those social rules.

I’ve always been really lucky when it came to that. Going to BU, I could depend on everyone being very accepting, though I still didn’t come out as trans until after graduation. But I was also in a UMC policy class with one of the most notorious right-wing people in the entire blogosphere. Dude’s kind of a major prick and I can’t believe I didn’t know it at the time.

Everything was on track. Every four years, the church would fail to change their social rules and they would just keep right on trucking along. And I was nervous, because I was a boy who wanted to be a girl and really liked girls, and that fucked me up. Never mind the way that my mental health was on a steady decline. I was not in a great state.

So as I was trying to get ordained, I had to take a mental health survey, meet with a shitty professional, and then sit down with the District Committee to decide if I would continue on my ordination process or not. There was a lot of worrying answers, and I ended up crying during that ordination meeting. They were worried about my mental health, that I would implode after too much stress as a pastor, and I was dropped from the process. Years after a lot of work, and years away from my next goal. 

It really, really, really screwed me up. It destroyed my faith, it crushed my mental health, all that. But I still kept watching the UMC, just to see if some day they might become more accepting of LGBTQ people. 

This weekend, they held a long-awaited conference to do just that. Instead, they passed legislation that would likely make the denomination MORE conservative. And I’m just so tired. That’s the thing. A lot of my friends, both queer and allies, are completely lost. Many are down to just crying and going to ice cream and alcohol and hugs and whatever they can get. But I’m so numb.

There’s not really a finale to this particular story. It’s all fucked up and nobody knows what to expect. And I’m just really tired.

[bennlp]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Martin Bennien (Benny) (@bennlp)

Bin jetzt schon ganz verliebt in #dreadout2 😍 Hier ein kleines Video vom anspielen ❤😉 . . . #dreadout #horror #fatalframe #projectzero #gamescom #köln #gc2019 #trailer #gameplay #gamescom2019 #ghost #playstation #xbox #steam #movie #games #creepy https://www.instagram.com/p/B1v5oSVFAuW/?igshid=1f2f0f5fyjlk0

[gebo4482]

DEATH STRANDING – Ludens Fan Character Spotlight Trailer – 4K

[a-little-lost-at-sea]

if there’s a heaven then i believe john wesley is wailing

“listen,” he tells God,

“i know You said there’d be no more tears,

but some things deserve to be sobbed over.

not that i have to justify being agonized—You won’t demand a permit,

or a legislative session, or another 47 years in the wilderness of bureaucratic self-importance

with my signature applied postpartum. call me yet another heretic

whose thinks the most important command from You

is Isaiah 40:1; i only want

to comfort my people. just like You.

i meant it when i said all should be invited to the table,

so children, find me on trial and blessèd.

find me in community with the queer pastors

watching their lives’ work go from dust to dust before their bodies are in the dirt,

unable to speak a hallelujah over the ashes.”

[m8imedia]

Cyberpunk 2077 can't come out soon enough for this Cyberninja. #gc2019 #gamescom2019 #gamescom #cyberpunk2077 #cyberpunk #drizzad #cyberninja (hier: Koelnmesse) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1ofRdjIhKc/?igshid=1ccvp8i2y0vdv

[pastorwitch]

You know what, I’m gonna say something else on GC2019. Let’s not pretend that other nations are to blame for what happened today. Church leadership chose to include people who had no stake in the ruling, trusting that by including them the traditional plan would win. It was leadership in the United States that set the stage so the plan would win. But by blaming other cultures they can hold the carrot in front of our face while keeping their traditional treasure chests funded. If you’re blaming anyone other than the leaders of the denomination, then you are letting them win.

[topangamatthews]

I haven’t really voiced this anywhere, but I wanted to get it off my chest. This week the UMC passed the traditional plan which in essence means myself and a lot of my friends are no longer able to be Methodist clergy or able to be married in a Methodist church. This breaks my heart. I don’t even have the words to explain how this makes me feel.

On Wednesday we were in the assistant chaplain’s office at my college and a couple of my friends were looking at seminary pamphlets. When another friend came in she asked what we were doing and I told her. My heart has never broken so much as it did when I looked at her face as gestured between herself and I and said, “Well, we can’t go anymore.” I felt the heartbreak through her eyes because even though she didn’t intend on going into ministry the choice has been stripped away. I’m left either waiting for the church to split or choosing another denomination neither of which is ideal.

So, to my straight Christian allies who are wondering what to do to help right now. Please speak out. Please post publicly about your disappointment in the results of the General Conference reassuring your friends (especially your closeted LGBTQIA pals) that they are seen, heard, and valid.