#gay uncles to Cozy

[justvoidsdumbstuff1]

I'd like some hot coco

[identityunfounded]

my gender is decidedly not female 99% of the time but when my therapist calls me a brave little lady and acknowledges my struggles I feel very special and elated anyway

[misctf]

Renovations Needed

For @artificial-transmutations

“Wait, you’re serious? Your uncle left you property?”

Andy nodded, “I’m as shocked as you are. But it says it right here. Look!” He handed Michael the paper, “It’s his old club. Not in the best part of town though...”

“Doesn’t matter, we can sell it!” Michael smiled, “We’ve been pretty tight on cash and we could use it for our wedding.” Michael hugged him, “Babe, this is incredible.”

Andy smiled warmly at his boyfriend. Michael was perfect. His smile enough to brighten up even his darkest days. His lean, muscular build highlighted under his tight white shirt. But more importantly, they complimented each other well. Michael’s ambition tempered and strengthened by Andy’s kindness.

“So, let’s go check it out”

_________

Compared to their cozy home, his uncle’s property was on the “bad side” of town. And just as his uncle neglected his body, he did the same to his property. Boarded up and worn down, this place needed a lot of work.

“Geez he let this place go.” Michael said, as the two inspected a broken window, “Fuck, I doubt we’ll get much for this place.” Andy frowned.

The two unlocked the front door, overwhelmed immediately by a moldy smell. The floors were stained, the bar was in shambles, and the walls were dirty. Andy jumped at the sight of a rat.

“What did you say your uncle did again?”

“He ran a club.” Andy replied, “At least until all that smoking caught up to him.” He navigated around some broken glass, “This place was really big back in the day... first gay club in the neighborhood.”

Michael nodded and continued his inspection, “Babe, look at this.” Andy’s eyes fell on a framed picture of his uncle, “Tough looking dude.”

Andy nodded, “That was him in his prime.” Mountainous biceps, a wide back, jutting pecs, bald, a thick beard- his uncle wasn’t someone you messed with. His stern glare could snap a lesser man in two, “He was never my biggest fan. I’m not exactly... tough. Just a ‘wimpy bitch boy’, as he would say.”

Michael frowned and kissed his boyfriend, “You’re perfect to me, babe.”

The rest of their inspection was disappointing, but nothing could compare them for the bathroom. Piss stains littered the floors and walls. Urinals were caked in it. There was even one missing- completely torn away from the wall. The smell nearly knocked them out, and they quickly retreated.

“This sucks.” Andy looked over to the photo of his uncle. His stern gaze piercing his soul, “He could’ve really made something of this place.”

“Agreed. It’s a real shame.” Michael replied, “He really fucked up, didn’t he.”

Andy sighed, looking at the picture of his uncle. And suddenly, an idea popped into his head, “What if I clean it up?” Michael let out a laugh, “No seriously! I could get this place straightened up. It would increase the value for sure!”

Michael sighed, “You really think you can do much for this dump?” Andy felt a sudden pang of anger that quickly dissipated before he could process it, “Look babe, I’ll support you. Couldn’t hurt.” He leaned in for a kiss.

_________

“This place looks better already.” Andy whispered as he entered the club the next day.

The club somehow already looked cleaner. Maybe even a little livelier. The smell wasn’t as bad, the floors not as dirty. But there was still work to be done. Andy swept the floor and watched as the grime vanished without much effort. He even dusted the photo of his uncle.

“We didn’t really get along, but thank you.” Andy whispered.

When he arrived home, Michael greeted him warmly, “Hey babe, how’d it go?” He scrunched his nose, “Damn, you stink.” He chuckled, but Andy glared at him, “I didn’t mean anything by it.” Michael replied, realizing his boyfriend wasn’t in the mood.

“I’m gonna go shower.” Andy said, brushing past his boyfriend without even a kiss, “See you in bed.”

In the shower, Andy tried to relax. His muscles were sore from earlier. And as he lathered up, he was surprised to feel small hairs along his chest and stomach. He was usually clean shaven, and these small dark hairs were odd. He thought little of it.  

Upon entering the bedroom, he found Michael lying in bed. Naked. A sexy smirk on his face. One that Andy usually couldn’t resist.

“You seem stressed babe.” Michael said, putting his hands behind his head, “And I think I have the solution.” His erect cock was on full display.

“Not in the mood.” Andy replied.

“Bullshit, I heard you moaning in the shower.”

“Not in the fucking mood.” Andy continued. Michael frowned, “I can sleep on the couch if you want.”

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Michael asked, concern etched on his face, “You seem...” He approached his boyfriend.

“I’m fine.” Andy replied, “Long day. Last thing I want is your dick up my ass.” He crawled into bed and faced away from Michael, “You coming?”

_________

The next day, Andy sat in his uncle’s office, rummaging through a desk. Even the office underwent a transformation overnight. The smell was gone, the chair was repaired, and the desk was no longer dusty. Andy scratched his chest and mentally made note that it felt firmer. But his thoughts were interrupted when he found a VHS tape. He raised an eyebrow.

“Shower Time?” He read the label, “What the fuck?” He looked up at the newly repaired TV and VHS player, “Might as well.”

The video started. There was his uncle. Nude. Standing above some guy. Some lesser man. Andy watched closely, absentmindedly rubbing his stiffening cock. And then it started. His uncle pissed on the guy below him. Andy watched as if in a trance, still rubbing his cock. And then it stopped.  

“What the fuck?” He whispered, looking down at himself, “I... I’m not into that kinda shit, am I?” The disturbed young man exited the office, “I need to get out of here...” But as he passed the watchful gaze of his uncle’s photo, he froze, “Where the fuck am I going?” He whispered, “I have work to do.”

Hours passed, and Andy’s work was nearly done. He wiped some sweat from his brow, barely registering his newly mountainous bicep. He felt his phone vibrate. Michael. He ignored the call and continued his work.

When he arrived home, Michael wasn’t there- likely at the gym. Andy walked to the bathroom and stared closely at himself in the mirror. Something wasn’t right.

“There we go.” He whispered, pulling out the clippers, “Just a little...” He buzzed away his brunette locks. Shorter and shorter until not a single hair remained, “Better.” He ran a hand over his bald head.

Later, when Michael did return home, he nearly fainted, “What the fuck?” He said, “Andy, what did you do?” Andy looked up and shrugged, “Babe, you’re bald!” Michael knew how much Andy cared about his hair, “Somethings wrong. Please just tell me.”

Andy glared at him, “You got a problem, bitch boy?” Michael’s jaw dropped, “By the way, we’re keeping the club.”

“That wasn’t the plan.” Michael crossed his arms, “What about selling it? We need the cash for the wedding.”

Andy stood up and crossed his arms, “Who gives a shit? Club’s nearly done anyway.” Michael could only watch as his boyfriend got up and left.

_________

Back at the club, Andy sat in his uncle’s office, watching another one of his uncle’s piss videos. The initial disdain for them being replaced by pure pleasure, as he jerked off. But his pleasure was interrupted when the door swung open.

“Andy, we need to...” Michael said desperately, “What are you doing?” Andy smirked and continued to jerk off, “Andy. Cut this shit out.”

“Didn’t take you for a little bitch.” Andy replied, standing up, “You should be fuckin’ happy. I mean look at me.” He flexed his biceps, which now rivaled Michael’s, “And this fuckin’ club is gonna take off.”

“But babe, I don’t want the club.” Michael replied, “Ever since we got it, you’ve been different. Andy please.” And for a second, Andy’s new persona faltered. His boyfriend’s caring eyes breaking through to him. And the kindness returned to Andy’s eyes.

“Michael...” He whispered, “I-I’m sorry.” He stepped forward, “I don’t know what happened.”

Michael smiled and hugged his larger boyfriend, “It’s okay.” He looked down at Andy’s arms, “ But you need to tell me your workout routine.” He said, trying to add some humor to the situation.

Andy shook his head, “Michael... this isn’t right.” He looked at his larger bicep.

“You’re going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.” Michael smiled.  

The two started walking down the long hallway to the main floor. Past the furious eyes of Andy’s uncle. And Andy froze.

“Wait babe, I left something in the bathroom.” He said.

Michael nodded, “Okay, I can wait...”

“No, come with me. Please.”

Michael shivered. Something told him to run. There was something different in his boyfriend’s eyes. But he wasn’t gonna leave him. He nodded and the two entered the bathroom. It was still in a state of decay.

“God, smells like piss in here.” Michael laughed nervously, “Guess you haven’t had time...”

Andy shoved him. A forceful push that sent him tumbling against the wall. Falling exactly into the empty slot between two urinals. Michael’s back hit the wall and he winced in pain, looking up at his boyfriend.

“Andy, what the hell...” Michael tried to move, but he couldn’t. He pushed against the wall desperately and looked up at his boyfriend in terror, “Andy, please! You need to help...”

But then he saw it. Andy was frozen, his clothes shredding as his muscles continued to grow. Behind him stood the specter of his uncle, who’s ghostly hands ran up and down Andy’s enlarging body. Andy moaned as his pecs grew into a pair of firm muscle tits and hair finally carpeting his clean-shaven skin in seconds.

“Andy...?” Michael whispered. Andy’s uncle smirked and suddenly Michael was naked. Pressed against the grimy wall of the bathroom.

The young man let out a yelp as he felt the pipe behind him enter his asshole and fuse to it. And he shivered as a sickly cold passed through his body.

“It hurts...” Michael whimpered as his muscles ached.

He looked down and quickly regretted it. His muscles were deflating- retracting into his body. His proud pecs and abs smoothing out, and his brunette locks and body hair fell to the ground below. Michael cried out again as his legs began to shrink and pull up into his abdomen.

“Andy help!” Michael cried out. He could see himself in the mirror. How his human features were starting to disappear, while his skin took on a paler tone. He felt cold. A sickly inhuman cold, “I-I...”

Tears fell from his eyes as he watched his toned arms begin to retract into his body. All the while, Andy was moaning as his own body packed on firm muscle and manly hair. His once clean shaven face now sporting a beard, while his expanding arms grew wiry hairs. In the midst of his transformation, he looked down at his boyfriend.

“Michael...” He whispered, “I-I’m sor...” He moaned as his package expanded, his bulge barely contained in his tight underwear.

Michael open his mouth to reply, but no words came out. Instead, his mouth remained forced open. And he could only watch in terror as it widened and stretched, forming a basin, while his tongue shifted into a urinal cake. Tears streamed from his eyes as he felt piping emerge from the top of his head and connect with the wall behind him. The coldness he felt earlier was now spreading. His flesh fully converting to white porcelain. And the last thing he saw before his vision went black was a final look of terror from Andy, which was soon replaced by the stern look Michael recalled from his uncle’s photo.

And then it was dark. It was cold and he was unable to move. Trapped. Not able to fully understand what happened to him.

“Fuck, I gotta take a leak.” Michael could still hear Andy’s voice, now gruff and harsh. He called out for help in his mind, hoping someone could hear.

But then he felt it. In the cold darkness of his new existence, he felt warmth. And tasted what he came to horrifically realize was piss. And after a minute or two of his old boyfriend filling his new mouth with urine, he felt hands wrap around his handle. The orgasmic pleasure nearly breaking Michael’s mind entirely, but not enough to free him from his new prison. Or awareness. And as the urine was washed away, Michael cried out in anguish as he came to realize his permanent fate.

“Shit that felt good.” Andy grumbled, “Alright, back to work. Opening days in just a week.”

The larger man went to leave, but not before turning back and looking at his new urinal. Something told him he was forgetting something important. A sense of dread filling him. He shook it off and left the bathroom, all under the watchful gaze of his uncle’s ghost.

_________

Opening day would come and go. And night after night, partygoers enjoyed the club and its atmosphere. Unaware of what had transpired there. And while they might not have been aware, Michael was. Day after day, and hundreds of men later. All filling his mouth and sending him into orgasmic pleasure with just a pull on his handle. Leaving him trapped and begging for freedom. But at least Andy would visit him. To use him of course. And only him. Andy couldn’t explain his attraction to that urinal. Nor would he ever realize why.

[cherryrainn]

howdy!! just found your account. i absolutely adore your writing babes, it's as delicious as your name. (/silly /lh! <3) if you're feeling up to it — and it's totally okay if you aren't! — can I request some headcanons for fizzmodeus with an adopted hellhound child!reader? maybe they're around preteen age & are known for having a more gentle/good-natured personality? i do believe it'd call for just cute, fluffy domesticity all around!

*whispers* protective, loving parents fizzy and ozzie. bonding with godfather/uncle blitzø and with fellow hellhound loona? i'm a sucker for it.

ahhh whether you choose to do this or not, thank you for your time 🤍 & keep on with the lovely works!! it's a joy to read~ have a departure gift! (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠)🫴🏼🧃🎁

━━ ✧ 𝐟𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

─ ✩ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ; fizzarolli + asmodeous & reader!

─ ✩ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ; THIS IS ADORABLE THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU'RE AMAZING

─ ✩ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ; none

fizzaroli and asmodeus went through quite the process to adopt you. despite fizzaroli's initial self-worth issues, he found immense joy in being a parent, and asmodeus, beneath his boastful exterior, showed a surprising amount of genuine care.

your gentle and good-natured personality quickly won over the hearts of fizzaroli and asmodeus. the three of you became an unconventional yet loving family. domesticity was never sweeter.

you know it's a new day in hell when asmodeous is making breakfast, and fizz is trying to charm the toaster. meanwhile, you're just enjoying the show with a grin on your face.

fizz and ozzie are surprisingly competitive when it comes to taking care of you. expect lots of laughter, playful banter, and maybe a little bit of cheating (looking at you, fizz).

there's nothing better than cozying up on the couch for a movie night. fizzarolli's cybernetic arms make for the best cuddles, and asmodeus is a master at picking out the sappiest movies.

fizzarolli loves throwing little tea parties with you, complete with mismatched cups and fancy hats. asmodeus may grumble about it, but deep down, he enjoys the absurdity.

blitzo might be a chaotic godfather, but he's always there to capture those precious family moments. just make sure loona doesn't photobomb with her trademark scowl.

blitzo introduces you to the art of pranking, and suddenly, your home is a battlefield of whoopee cushions and fake spiders. fizz and ozzie may not fully approve, but they can't resist joining in.

blitzo's idea of babysitting involves ordering pizza and introducing you to classic movies. just don't tell your parents about the questionable movie choices (gay horses)

loona may act tough, but deep down, she's a softie. she teaches you the art of intimidation and the importance of a well-timed eye roll.

trips to the carnival or a day at the beach become unforgettable adventures. fizzaroli's clown antics and asmodeus' beachside glamour create a perfect blend of fun and relaxation.

loona introduces you to the edgiest demon fashion trends. expect spiked collars, mismatched accessories, and a lot of black.

[cebwrites]

Hello !! Love the way you write the heart pirates 🫶 if it’s okay to request, would you be able to do head-cannons on the silly hearts with a reader who tends to fall asleep anywhere and everywhere around the polar tang?

They don’t do it on purpose- honest! But they don’t realize how tired they are and fall asleep on instant contact with anything comfy :’) ((inspired by my own tendencies to crash on the couch or floor with a simple pillow or soft blanket, the occasional chair if the sitting position complies))

No need to write if it’s a little silly!! You can take it any direction you want, have the bestest of days and keep on writing your awesome work, take care!!

a/n: eepy gang rise up!! i have a habit of getting very sleepy after eating too of course it's okay, this is just about what i need rn actually _〆(´Д｀ )

for anyone new here, here's the hearts name guide <- i use for them!

Heart Pirates with tired Reader

masc reader, they/them law word count: 1.4k

At first, it's just after a hearty dinner that your peers catch you on the verge of falling asleep—Bas, Laeno, and Dorie pride themselves on making such good knock-out food—but slowly they notice how you're seemingly able to pass out anywhere and everywhere you can find a comfortable enough position to curl into

Provided it's not during an important briefing or otherwise Heart-related meeting, since nodding off during those tends to make your captain quite upset and you've crossed them on the singular instance of doing exactly that before, the crew knows to leave you well enough alone

You pride yourself on never falling asleep on duty, at least

On occasion, someone will wake you for additional work at Law's behest if you've already finished or call you down for supper or Penguin and Shachi have the mischievous inkling to do something prank-related; either they're dragged away by someone more responsible or get chewed out by Law for putting you in ridiculous poses to take pics of while you were asleep, upset about something along the lines of potential injuries

The more you get to know your crew and the stronger your bonds become over the years, the more you start to lean on other Heart pirates for your impromptu naps instead of just cozy inanimate objects; none of them have ever beaten the sheer comfitude of the weighted blanket in your quarters, though

Bepo is the easiest suspect being as big and soft as he is, and the friendliest too, Ikkaku is more than happy to lend a shoulder as the resident "big sister" (although she's younger than half the other members), and hell even Pen and Shach were comfy enough pillows once you got them to swear not to pull any funny business while you slept - lest you made balloon animals out of them

The others all warm up to you on their own time, depending on whether you've been there from more or less the start or you're a relatively new member to the crew

Ani is reluctant for physical contact, it takes you getting to know them a little more before she's willing to shake you awake or spend a while sitting next to you taking a nap in comfortable silence, gay uncles Bas and Laeno with the addition of Fang have dubbed themselves the unofficial official "carries you to bed" squad

The other gay uncles (Marl and Gul) are content to leave you where you are whenever you drift off but always bring a blanket when it looks like you're getting cold or you don't seem like waking up any time soon - Dorie and Hoki try taking you to bed but Dorie's always too loud and ends up waking you before then and Hoki, well, Hoki can't quite seem to pick you up as a taller, heavier man

By god he's trying his best, though that also has the unfortunate consequence of waking you up; you once overhead Hoki training with Fang with the express purpose of getting strong enough to carry you to bed like "everyone else" and you genuinely didn't know whether to be flattered or mortified

Uni's content enough to let you lay your head on their shoulder (arm, because frankly he's huge) for a short while, though eventually he gets antsy and needs to move but since you're there he can't, but also Uni needs to move while not waking you up, like a cat asleep on its owner's lap trapping them for all eternity; other crew members have found him in this predicament every so often and find it hilarious/a perfect photo-op while he can't avoid the camera's embarrassing lens

Some of these pictures have both of you napping together (he accepted his fate and fell asleep sitting up, their back makes them regret it later)

You're awkward around Jean Bart at first, as you were with everyone else in the beginning, though you did puff out your chest a little at the thought of being someone's senior much like Bepo, and slowly as you took the initiative to spend more time around him, you'd find yourself falling asleep with his knee as you pillow every now and again, sometimes even with his very large hand over your back as a blanket; Jean Bart too would fall victim to the pictures taken while he was at the mercy of your slumbering form, unable to flee

Clione and Hake, as much as you adore them as friends, have the unintended affect of activating your sleepiness once they go on another one of their longwinded rambles about a topic of special interest; you've apologized time again that it's not because they're boring you, not at all! Their voices are just so easy to listen to, hearing them talk at length about things important to them, it's a comfortable backdrop to doze off to

Hake laughs this off with light teasing, flattered that their voice is as soothing as you claim it to be, Clione has to be coaxed with a bit more than that, but usually gives in after you agree to buying him a treat of his choosing at the next island they drop anchor at

The captain themself—you aren't quite sure how to act around them, you were sure that they'd been upset by the first and only time you fell asleep during that crew meeting, making it a point to never do that again in the hopes of avoiding Law's ire, and although it didn't seem like they'd been that upset with you again, being around them still set the hairs on the back of your neck on edge; like you were being watched

To your defense, you were, but not necessarily in the way in the way that you would've assumed

It took nearly a year of being in proximity with and hardship with each other for Law to finally ease up being around you and another year for them to fully let you in - you realize in that time that the staring is just something Law does with everyone, their crew, strangers on the street, marines they're supposed to be on watch for, it was just something your captain tended to do

Plus, observation wasn't the only reason for their keen eye on you, at some point, Law had developed these—day they say, absurd—feelings, for you, and were at a loss for what to do; so, without consulting anyone else like the massive dweeb they were, decided that intense soul-burning eye contact was the way to go instead of just talking to you and getting a boyfriend that way

Some days it was an attempt to get you to make a move before they did, other days it was trying to blow you up with their mind for daring to make them feel this way, and on the days you felt like you were ignored by your captain even more than before? Those were the one where Law doubted their feelings the most, wishing to hide them away and feeling if you looked too closely, you'd catch onto their "true" intentions and they would simply dissolve under your gaze

A bit unfair, but when has Law ever been anything but?

Now, comfortable with the relationship you've built with one another, Law calls you into their office often to sleep on the couch there, or take a nap on their bed while they worked tirelessly still at the desk in their room; whenever they needed a break or you'd call them over, they could simply recharge in the comfort of your arms and you'd get a warm body to slumber against

It does seem, however, that once the both of you got together Law started being a bit more scrutinous about your random cuddles with other crew members whenever you fell asleep per usual, almost pouting when you gave your attention, albeit unconscious but still physical, away to other people

You tease them about it once other Hearts inform you about this very interesting behavior and turn scowls into kisses with light laughter

The only person seemingly exempt from this "cuddle = angy Law" rule is Bepo, but that's only because he's the baby and Law is unwilling to give up their cuddles on their precious bear either, so the both of you will sometimes just nap on him together, sometimes to Bepo's chagrin when he needs to move just like Uni

Bepo obviously clears, but at least now it looks like there's finally someone to challenge your weighted blanket <3

[aziraphales-library]

hi :))

I'm wondering if you have any cozy ineffable husbands human aus that kinda fit autumn? also angst with a happy ending would be nice

thanks!

Okay, these are the fics that came to mind for stories with somewhat cosy/autumnal vibes and some angst...

Acts of Prayer by Nadzieja (Series) (M-E)

Crowley is not a priest anymore, he has buried that part of his past long ago. Yet, fate brings him back to Tadfield where he'll have to confront a ghost from his past he hasn't seen in a very long time (but whose face might as well be carved onto his heart). [A Priest AU, with *a lot* of angst and a happy ending.]

is there anybody out there? by theycallmeDernhelm (E)

Welcome to the zombie apocalypse. England has been overrun by walking corpses, everything's gone to hell, and the few survivors are scattered- among them, Crowley and his 11-year-old son Warlock. When Crowley's radio signal is unexpectedly picked up by another group of survivors, he finds himself falling, in a way he never thought he'd fall again, for the charming and kindly Aziraphale. Over three seasons and a tenuous radio connection, a romance develops between them, while a friendship grows between Warlock and Aziraphale's nephew Adam. Love isn't dead (or undead) after all.

The Scarecrow by AppleSeeds (M)

The last surviving member of his family, Aziraphale inherits a crumbling 14th century cottage from his uncle. Staying in the cottage to catalogue his uncle's collection of rare books, Aziraphale combats his loneliness by speaking to the scarecrow in the neighbouring field. He awakes one night to find the scarecrow in his bedroom, mouth torn open, speaking to him... Crowley was cursed by a witch and turned into a scarecrow over five hundred years ago, but somehow Aziraphale's presence is changing him into something more human. While Aziraphale works to break the curse completely, the two of them spend a great deal of time together and find something special within each other, both discovering what it truly means to be free.

in the house we remain by commodorecliche (M)

Aziraphale buys a quiet cottage in the middle of the English countryside. It is perfect in every way: old-style, quaint, surrounded by wilderness, with a small water feature in the back and a price to rival that of any other property he's seen. He is in love from the moment he sees it. But when a mysterious set of books, all written by unknown author A.J. Crowley, appears on his book shelf, Aziraphale begins to wonder if there is perhaps more to this house than he'd originally believed. The truth can be buried, but it cannot stay hidden forever.

Under Construction by summerofspock (E)

Crowley has one goal: sell the run-down lodge in the Cascades that his uncle left him in his will. He doesn't expect to meet someone like Aziraphale, the kind handyman working on his uncle's property who turns out to be more of an enigma than Crowley first thought.

The Grindr Logo Doesn't Even Have a 'G' In It by indieninja92 (E)

After the Apocalypse, Aziraphale ventures into a new space in the gay milieu - Grindr. There he starts talking to a charming young man who certainly doesn't bear any resemblance at all to a certain long streak of demon, not one bit, no thank you. Meanwhile, Aziraphale and Crowley navigate their friendship after the world failed to end. There is much drinking and silliness, but could it be that there are other feelings lurking underneath?? Of course there are, this is fanfic.

- Mod D

[sidekick-hero]

I'll keep you like an oath (may nothing but death do us part) - my contribution to the @steddiesummerexchange for @starryeyedjanai can now be read in full 🥰

Pairings: Steve/Eddie, Robin/Chrissy Characters: Steve, Eddie, Robin, Chrissy, Max, Dustin, Wayne Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fake Marriage, Platonic Stobin, Platonic Hellcheer, idiot4idiot, Friends to Husbands to Lovers, Humor and Fluff and a smudge Angst

Summary:

When Steve's grandmother dies, he finds out that he can only get his inheritance - half a million dollars - if he marries someone. It's her way of forcing Steve to live a heterosexual life. Sucks for her that gay marriage has been legalized since she wrote her will. Sucks for Steve that he doesn't have a man or woman in his life to marry. Cue Eddie Munson, roommate and best friend of Robin's girlfriend Chrissy and the guy Steve has had a crush on for years.

What could possibly go wrong?

Read on AO3

Chapter 1| Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Chapter 4 (5k) under the cut

The day of the wedding arrives with an almost surreal sense of calm. The venue, a charming garden nestled behind a quaint bed and breakfast just out of town, is adorned with delicate fairy lights and fresh flowers. Eddie stands in front of a mirror in a small, cozy room, adjusting his tie for the tenth time. He takes a deep breath, trying to steady the nervous energy buzzing through him.

Chrissy, his best person, just like Robin is Steve’s, stands beside him, offering a reassuring smile. "You look great, Teddy. Steve’s going to swoon when he sees you.”

He looks at his best friend in the mirror and gives her a small smile. "You know it's not like that, Chris."

She hums. "You keep saying that, but I don't know. Yeah, you're getting married so he gets his inheritance, I get it. But that's not what the way he looks at you says, honey."

"Chris -"

"I'm just saying. He was flirting with you when you two first met, so he must think you're hot."

"Yeah, and I blew it," Eddie reminds her, his voice forlorn. He's still kicking himself over how stupid he was, how prejudiced he was, not realizing that this great guy was hitting on him and blowing his chance by being a jerk to him.

By the time he finally realized that Steve was actually a good guy, he had already backed off and stopped all his earlier attempts to get to know Eddie. Eddie had gotten the message loud and clear. He was too late, and Steve had already moved on.

A knock on the door interrupts their conversation. Eddie is glad, especially when he sees who’s standing in the doorway.

"Wayne!" he exclaims, jumping into the older man's arms. "You made it."

The man’s laughter rumbles against Eddie’s chest. "I told you I would be here, son. It's not every day your nephew gets married, is it?"

Eddie sinks deeper into the warm embrace, inhaling the smell of Old Spice, cigarette smoke, and the laundry detergent his uncle has been using for as long as Eddie can remember. It smells like home.

Eddie reluctantly pulls away from Wayne’s embrace, his heart feeling lighter. “I’m really glad you’re here, Wayne. It means a lot to me.”

Wayne pats Eddie’s shoulder affectionately. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Now, where’s this Steve fella I’ve been hearing so much about?”

Eddie’s stomach tightens at the mention of Steve. “He’s probably getting ready~~.~~ Let me introduce you.”

They make their way through the cozy hallways and out into the garden. The atmosphere is cheerful, filled with laughter and the scent of blooming flowers. They turn left to Steve's dressing room and when they knock, Robin answers with a busy expression, a tie pin between her teeth. Eddie spots Steve in front of the mirror, nervously adjusting his tie.

���Steve!” Eddie calls out, his voice steady but with a hint of excitement. He's unexpectedly nervous about introducing Steve to his uncle. Wayne is his only family, the man who raised him like Eddie was his own son, and his opinion means a whole lot to Eddie. He's always wanted Wayne to be proud of him, and he can't help but hope that he'll approve of Steve.

Steve turns, his eyes lighting up when he sees Eddie. He walks over, his smile widening as he notices Wayne but Eddie can tell by the crinkling of his brows and the tense line of his shoulders that Steve’s just as nervous as Eddie is. “Hey, Eddie. This must be your uncle.”

Wayne steps forward, extending a hand. “Nice to finally meet you, Steve. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

That makes Steve pause, even as he reaches for the offered hand. "You did?" he asks, sounding way too surprised and incredulous, and Eddie winces.

Well, yeah, Wayne may have had a front-row seat as he went from being angry about how unfairly hot the jock who invaded their apartment is to being distraught when he realized that said jock is actually really dreamy and sweet and that Eddie is such a fucking idiot for blowing his chance with him.

Not that Steve needs to know any of this. Eddie had told Wayne an only slightly altered version of Steve's cover story, so he hopes Wayne won't bring up Eddie's pathetic pining and mooning.

Steve catches himself, and as he shakes Wayne's hand firmly, his expression becomes warm and welcoming. "I wanted to say: Nice to meet you too, Mr. Munson. Eddie's told me a lot about you, too."

Wayne just chuckles at Steve's fumble. “Please, call me Wayne, you’re part of the family now,” he insists, his eyes twinkling with genuine interest. “So, you’re the one who’s been making my nephew all starry-eyed, huh?”

Eddie feels his cheeks heat up, and he tries to brush it off with a laugh. “Wayne!”

Steve chuckles, a slight blush coloring his own cheeks. “I guess so. Eddie’s been pretty special to me too.”

Wayne’s smile widens, and he looks between the two men with approval. “Well, it’s good to see you two together. Eddie deserves someone who appreciates him.”

Steve’s eyes soften as he glances at Eddie. “I appreciate him more than he knows.”

Eddie’s heart skips a beat at Steve’s words, and for a moment, he almost forgets about the ruse. The sincerity in Steve’s eyes makes him wonder, just for a moment, if maybe he isn’t the only one harboring some very real feelings.

Wayne claps Steve on the back, breaking the moment. “I’m looking forward to seeing you two tie the knot. If you ever hurt him, though, you’ll have to answer to me and my shotgun.”

Steve nods solemnly. “I understand. You have my word, Wayne.”

Wayne gives a satisfied nod before turning to Eddie. “Alright, I’ll let you two finish getting ready. Just wanted to say hi before the ceremony.”

Eddie watches as Wayne heads off to mingle with the other guests, feeling a mixture of relief and anxiety. He turns to Steve, who’s still watching him with that same warm expression.

“You okay?” Steve asks softly.

"Yeah, just nervous," Eddie admits, running a hand through his hair. "This all feels so... real, it's fucking with my head a little bit, I guess. It's weird that our friends and family are all celebrating this special day with so much, I dunno, enthusiasm. They're all so happy for us, Steve."

Steve steps closer and puts a reassuring hand on Eddie's shoulder. "I know. And I feel bad about lying to them, too. I wish we didn't have to, but..." he trails off, and Eddie knows he means to say that he doesn't want to get any more people involved in what is really a scam. But Eddie can't help wishing they didn't have to lie because it's real.

"I get it, Stevie. And I'm fine. All in, right?"

Steve takes his hands and squeezes them. "All in."

The ceremony itself is a quick affair. The officiator is an elderly woman, who speaks in a warm and calm voice about marriage and promises, about sickness and health, about sacrifices and the blessing of a life full of love and joy and laughter. Eddie can hear a few sniffles from their friends and family, but he only has eyes for Steve. Steve, who looks so handsome in his black suit and fitting bowtie, his hair tussled artfully and his hazel eyes shining with emotion. It’s not real, a voice inside his head reminds him, but just for this moment he quiets it and enjoys the feeling of having the man he’s actually in love with look at him like that.

When it’s time for the vows, Eddie’s voice trembles slightly, but his words are steady and heartfelt. He talks about how much Steve has been surprising him again and again, showing him so many unexpected sides of himself. When Eddie had thought Steve to be just another rich asshole jock he’s proven to Eddie how he’s caring and brave, opening his heart to Eddie when all his previous experiences taught him not to.

“And I can’t wait for you to keep me on my toes for the rest of our lives,” Eddie ends. He means it. If he has any say in it, he’ll happily have Steve prove him wrong for as long as he lives.

Steve blinks back tears as he takes Eddie’s hands. His vows sound just as heartfelt, just as real and tomorrow, Eddie will probably overthink what it all means. But today, he lets his heart enjoy them.

After their vows they exchange rings, and the officiant pronounces them married. As they kiss, the garden erupts in applause and cheers and Eddie can hear Dustin whoop and Jeff whistle loudly. He feels a wave of happiness and relief wash over him and sees the same sentiment reflected on Steve’s face.

He nudges him, the grin loud in his voice. “That wasn’t so bad, wasn’t it?”

Steve shrugs, aiming for nonchalant and failing miserably because of the answering grin splitting his face.

“You think your grandma would’ve liked it?” Eddie asks and Steve laughs out loud.

“Oh she would have hated every second of it.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“Yeah, it is.” Suddenly, Steve’s much closer than he had been seconds ago, their noses almost touching. “Thank you, Eddie. For everything.” And then Steve kisses his cheek, his soft lips gracing the arch of his cheekbone in a way that feels more intimate than the quick kiss they exchanged when the officiant told them to.

The reception is a blur of laughter, dancing, and heartfelt toasts. Robin and Chrissy’s are both hilarious, while Wayne chokes up a bit when he asks Steve to take good care of the only son Wayne’s ever had. Steve takes Eddie’s hand and squeezes it while looking at Wayne and promising him to always look out for Eddie and care for him.

Even Captain Hopper says a few words, and Eddie can tell how much that means to Steve.

The night ends when Eddie falls asleep with his head on Steve’s shoulder, slightly drooling on his husband's lapel. Steve half-drags, half-carries him to their room and helps him undress to his underwear before Eddie crawls under the sheets. When Steve offers to sleep on the ground, Eddie is too tired to argue. Instead, he just pulls back the blanket on the other side of the bed and makes grabby hands at him.

Steve chuckles softly and slides into bed next to Eddie. The last thing Eddie feels is Steve’s breath against his nape as he tells him goodnight. He falls asleep with a smile on his face.

The next morning, they enjoy breakfast with their closest friends and family. The air is filled with laughter and the clinking of dishes as everyone shares stories from the previous night. Wayne presents them with their wedding gift - a two-week stay at a cabin situated by one of the Great Lakes in the area. It's the same place where Wayne used to take Eddie for fishing trips when he was a boy.

“The cabin,” Wayne tells Steve, “has always been a special place for Eddie and me. I thought you two could use some peace and quiet after all this excitement.”

Eddie’s eyes glisten as he accepts the gift. “Thanks, Wayne. That means a lot.”

Steve places a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, his own smile warm and genuine. “It sounds perfect. Thank you, Wayne.”

As breakfast winds down, Eddie and Steve find themselves surrounded by well-wishers. They say goodbye to everyone, exchanging hugs and promises of phone calls and visits.

Wayne pats Eddie on the back. "Take care of each other up there. And don't forget to fish.” He adds with a deadpan look.

Eddie groans in embarrassment. "Oh my God."

When everyone but them and Robin and Chrissy have left, Eddie feels a mixture of excitement and nervousness. They're supposed to go back to Steve's apartment, while Chrissy and Robin will go back to Chrissy's apartment. He moved in with Steve the week before, and they both helped Robin move in with Chrissy. He was glad that the wedding had taken up a lot of their time and energy, enough to distract Steve from missing his other half too much.

That will change now, but at least they have two full weeks at the cabin for Steve to get used to having Eddie around a lot more.

The drive to the cabin two days later is filled with lighthearted banter about music and comfortable silences as Steve and Eddie enjoy the scenic views on their way to their destination. It feels easy between them, and Eddie curses himself once again that he could have had this for years. Like Elizabeth Bennet, his own pride and prejudice got in the way.

When they finally arrive, they're greeted by the sight of a quaint cabin nestled on the shore of one of the Great Lakes, its surroundings offering a sense of peace and seclusion. There are no other cabins in sight, and Eddie knows from all the times he's been here with Wayne that the nearest neighbors are about 15 to 20 minutes away on foot, and the nearest store is in a small village about 20 minutes away by car.

"Your uncle was right, it's perfect here after all the stress and excitement of the last few weeks," Steve says as they gather their belongings from the car and approach the cabin. The lake is right in front of them, the sun reflecting off it in a way that Eddie has come to associate with endless summers spent here fishing with his uncle.

"Yeah, don't tell him I said that, but Wayne's usually right about things."

Steve mimics zipping his lips, earning a laugh from Eddie.

As they step inside, they take a tour of the small cabin. There's a decently sized open kitchen and a living room with a small couch and a dining table. No TV, which won’t be a problem because Eddie brought his laptop. The bathroom is equally small but has a rather big walk-in shower, something Eddie can’t help but imagine testing out with Steve. Him on his knees in front of Steve, while droplets of water rain down on them, catching in the thick patch of chest hair and running down towards…

“Eddie,” Steve calls, ripping him from his fantasy.

“What’s the matter?” he calls back, quickly hurrying out of the bathroom and towards the only room they haven’t checked out yet—the bedroom.

Which he quickly remembers has only one bed. Eddie had slept on the couch when he had been still small enough to do so and later on an air mattress they brought along.

Steve glances at him with wide eyes and then back at the small couch in the living room, immediately offering to take it. Eddie shakes his head.

"It's fine, Steve. We've shared a bed before," Eddie tells him with a reassuring smile. His cheeks heat with the memory of Steve’s warm breath against his nape before he fell asleep on their wedding night. When he had woken up the next morning, Steve had already been gone from the bed, something he mourned for the five minutes or so it took Steve to step into their room with only a towel slung around his hips. The sight had been the best consolation prize he could’ve asked for.

Steve looks at him, relieved. "If you say so. Just don't hog all the blankets."

Eddie grins. "No promises."

They unpack their bags and settle in, the cozy cabin quickly feeling like home. The first few days fall into a blissful routine—swimming in the lake, taking long walks along the shoreline, cooking meals together, and watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" on Eddie's laptop.

On their second afternoon, while preparing lunch, Eddie tries to impress Steve with his nonexistent proficiency in making pancakes. This earns him the heavenly sound of Steve’s laughter as his sad attempts to flip a pancake end with batter splattered everywhere.

"You're supposed to flip it, not fling it," Steve teases, wiping batter off Eddie’s cheek. Eddie's cheeks heat under his gentle touch.

Eddie chuckles, shaking his head. "Hey, I'm trying. Cooking was never my strong suit."

Steve smiles, handing him another spatula. "Well, lucky for you, I'm a great teacher."

And he is, even if the way he presses himself up against Eddie's back, the way his big hand rests on Eddie's wrist as he holds the pan, is unfairly distracting. Eddie messes up a few more times, mostly because he gets caught up in the way Steve feels, smells, and sounds every time he gives Eddie instructions in a soft yet firm voice.

When Eddie finally gets it right, Steve's praise sears itself into his brain, altering his brain chemistry irrevocably.

“See? You’ve got it!” Steve exclaims, his voice filled with genuine pride.

Eddie grins, feeling a warmth that has nothing to do with the stove. "All thanks to my amazing teacher."

Steve laughs, leaning in close. "I knew you had it in you."

Eddie can’t help but flirt back. "Guess you'll have to keep teaching me things, then."

Steve’s eyes sparkle with mischief. "Oh, I plan to."

They fall into an easy rhythm, working together in the kitchen, their movements synchronized as if they've been doing this for years. The cabin becomes their little sanctuary, where the outside world seems to fade away. It's easy to forget that this is all just part of their ruse because nothing about the way they act around each other feels fake.

One evening a few days later, they walk along the lake, the setting sun casting a golden glow over the water. Steve skips stones across the surface, watching the ripples spread outward, and Eddie is once again reminded of Steve's past as a high school jock. However, the thought doesn't bring up the old resentment. Instead, he feels a little jealous and a lot turned on by the competent way Steve masters things like flipping pancakes or skipping stones.

"You know," Steve says, breaking the comfortable silence, "this place is really special. I'm glad Wayne thought of it."

Eddie nods, admiring the way Steve's eyes reflect the fading light. "Yeah, it brings back a lot of good memories. When I first came to live with Wayne, I was angry all the time. At everyone. Mostly at myself, I guess. It probably wasn't easy for Wayne, the way I shut him out and acted like it was such a burden to live with him. He brought me here about a year after I moved in, and at first, I thought it was his way of punishing me for my bad behavior. Turns out, forced proximity helps you get over some stupid hang-ups pretty quickly. We've been here every year since, until I moved out at 20."

Steve listens to the story in silence. When Eddie’s done, he says, “I’m glad you had Wayne growing up.”

"Yeah, me too. The old man's got a big heart and he loves taking in strays. Before you know it, he'll be calling you ‘son’ and forcing you to watch baseball with him every season.”

“That sounds pretty awesome, actually.”

Eddie laughs. "It is. Though I have to warn you, he's a die-hard Cubs fan. There’s no escape from it."

Steve chuckles, tossing another stone. "Well, I’m a White Sox fan, so I’m sure we’ll have plenty to argue about."

Eddie raises an eyebrow. "Oh, a White Sox fan? This is going to be interesting."

Steve grins. "Trust me, I can hold my own in a baseball debate."

Eddie smiles, feeling a warmth in his chest that has nothing to do with the setting sun. "You're a good guy, Steve."

Steve looks at him, eyes softening. "So are you, Eddie."

They share a quiet smile before continuing their walk, the air filled with the sounds of nature and the occasional splash of a fish jumping.

Eddie cannot remember the last time he felt so at peace with himself and the world.

Later that night, they find themselves sitting side by side on the bed, sharing a bowl of popcorn as they immerse themselves in yet another episode of Buffy. By now it has become part of their routine, all their days ending the same way. The first night, they had kept their distance, but the small screen and the growing familiarity between them soon made them sit closer and closer.

Now their backs rest comfortably against the headboard, their shoulders occasionally brush against each other, and their legs rest comfortably together under the blanket.

"I gotta say, Angel was always meant to be with Buffy," Steve suddenly supplies, apropos of nothing.

Eddie scoffs and turns to look at him in disbelief. "Oh, come on! Are you still stuck in the 90s? Spike was the one for her, no doubt about it."

They both reach for the popcorn bowl, their eyes never leaving the screen as Buffy and Angel dance together at Buffy's prom.

"But, Eddie," Steve insists, "Angel had depth. He understood Buffy's inner turmoil like no one else."

Eddie shakes his head, a smirk on his lips. "Depth? Please. Angel was brooding half the time, and when he wasn't, he was busy being melodramatic about his curse. Spike, on the other hand, embraced his vampiric nature and challenged Buffy in a way that Angel never did."

As the scene ends, Steve gestures to the screen. "But Angel had this epic love story with Buffy! They were soulmates, destined to be together."

"Soulmates, shmoulmates," Eddie retorts, leaning closer to the laptop. "Buffy needed someone who could stand toe-to-toe with her, someone who wasn't afraid to call her out on her nonsense. Spike did that and more."

Steve reaches for the beers on the floor next to him and hands a fresh one to Eddie, who gives him a grateful nudge with his shoulder before taking a sip.

"Yeah, but Angel was her first love. You can't deny the significance of that," Steve argues, taking a sip of his own beer.

The argument makes Eddie smile involuntarily because it's such a Steve thing to say. He's a romantic at heart, one who doesn't do a very good job of hiding it.

Eddie nods in agreement because he can see Steve's point, but then he remembers Steve's story about the first girl he loved and how the breakup left him pretty messed up. "First love doesn't always mean forever love, Steve. Buffy grew, she changed, and so did what she needed in a partner. Spike wasn't always what she wanted, but he was what she needed and I think deep down she knew that and it scared the hell outta her."

Steve looks at him with an unreadable expression and says, "Maybe you're right. I guess love is pretty scary."

Feeling like they're no longer talking about Buffy Summers, Eddie clears his throat awkwardly. "Yeah, it is," he agrees, reaching into the popcorn bowl just to have something to do.

Steve seems to have the same idea, because suddenly their fingers brush against each other as they reach for the same handful of popcorn.

The moment their fingers touch, it ignites a spark, an electric charge that leaves them frozen in the moment, their eyes meeting in the dim light cast by the laptop screen. The world seems to pause, time standing still as Eddie recalls the story Steve had told everyone. It had sounded like such a funny cover story to explain their sudden and unexpected marriage, but now Eddie doesn’t feel like laughing.

His heart hammers against his ribcage as he leans in closer, his gaze instinctively drawn to Steve's lips.

"Steve," he whispers, his voice a soft undertone barely audible against the background noise of the laptop.

"Yeah?" Steve's voice matches Eddie's in volume, his breath a warm whisper against Eddie's skin.

His heart still pounding, Eddie swallows, nerves and anticipation causing his voice to tremble. He knows what he wants this moment to mean, but once he acknowledges it, there's no going back.

Steve's courage must be rubbing off on him because he still asks the question that's been on his mind since their conversation in his apartment. "Do you... do you ever wonder what it would be like if this was real?"

Steve's eyes search Eddie's face, his own a complex mix of hope and uncertainty. Eddie feels like he's seconds away from a heart attack as he waits for Steve's answer. When it comes, Steve's voice is barely audible; Eddie reads it as much from his lips as he hears it.

"Every day."

Hearing Steve's answer, Eddie's breath hitches and he feels a tidal wave of emotions he can no longer suppress. "Me too."

Later, Eddie couldn't tell who leaned in first, and honestly, it doesn't matter because in that moment, it's clear they both want it. As soon as their lips meet, it feels like the universe has aligned and everything falls into place. The way Steve's lips feel against his is nothing short of divine, so maybe Eddie needs to rethink his stance on soul mates and destiny.

While the first press of lips is soft, even tentative, the kiss quickly deepens as they pour years of unspoken feelings into it.

When they finally pull away for air, they are both breathless. Eddie laughs softly, the sound a mixture of disbelief and pure joy.

"Just like your story, huh?" he whispers, the corners of his mouth lifting in a smile.

Steve grins in return, his thumb gently tracing Eddie's cheek in an intimate gesture. "Yeah. Only this time it's real."

"It better be," Eddie says before leaning in to capture Steve's lips once more. They share another kiss, and then another, until the bowl of popcorn between them is forgotten and the laptop screen goes dark.

The next morning, they wake up tangled together under the sheets. Eddie’s head rests on Steve’s broad chest, their legs entwined and Eddie hugging Steve’s torso like a pillow. Steve’s left arm is wrapped around his waist while his right hand cards through Eddie’s hair, indicating he's awake.

Last night was real, is his first coherent thought.

When Eddie lifts his head, he feels Steve’s breath hitch and his arm around his waist tighten. The hand in his hair stops its gentle ministrations, and Eddie makes an involuntary noise of protest.

Steve laughs softly at him and continues. “Morning, sleepyhead.”

“What time is it?” Eddie half asks, half yawns.

“Almost noon. I was waiting for you to wake up because you were using me as your own personal teddy bear and I didn’t wanna wake you.”

Eddie feels his cheeks heat up and hastily tries to untangle himself from Steve, but is stopped by strong arms.

“I wasn’t complaining. In fact, I really like it. You’re cute like that, even when you’re drooling on my shirt.” The soft kiss to his forehead matches the fond tone of Steve’s voice.

Snuggling deeper into Steve’s embrace, he asks, “So yesterday…?”

“...has been something I wanted to do for a long time.”

It’s hard to believe, Steve wanting to kiss him for so long. Maybe for as long as Eddie has wanted to.

“Why didn’t you do it before yesterday then?”

He feels Steve shrug underneath him. “Figured you didn’t want me to. When I tried to flirt with you, get to know you, you made it pretty clear that you weren’t interested. So I stopped. Tried to act like I didn’t think about kissing you every time I saw you.”

This time, Eddie lifts his head to look down at Steve. “I am such a fucking idiot, Steve. You shouldn’t want to kiss me. When we first met I was so sure you were—” he pauses and Steve helpfully adds, “a rich asshole jock.” “Yeah. Took me a while to get over myself and realize you were nothing like that. When I did, it seemed like you already moved on. I was too scared to get rejected, especially because I would’ve deserved it. So I acted like I didn’t think about kissing you every time I saw you.”

Gazing into each other’s eyes, they both burst out laughing.

“God, we’re idiots,” Steve laughs, rubbing his nose against Eddie’s. Then, his eyes suddenly widen. “Max can never find out! I had to promise her that I wouldn’t let this turn into ‘one of those rom-com clichés where everything goes horribly wrong because no one just talked to each other.’”

The sound that leaves Eddie’s mouth is half laugh, half groan. “We shall never speak of this then.”

And just because he can, he steals another kiss from Steve before his face and tone turn sober.

“Only Chrissy and Birdie know about our idiocy. In a way, your story about how we got together is true, just the timeline is a bit different. How about we just come back and live the married life we’re supposed to?”

Wrapping his strong thighs around Eddie’s waist and bringing their groins together, Steve smiles up at him. “I’d love that,” he says, kissing Eddie. Deep and dirty and hungry.

They don’t leave the cabin for the rest of the day.

One afternoon a few days later, lying on a blanket by the lake, Eddie turns to Steve, propped up on one elbow. "What's next on the agenda when we get back home?"

Steve thinks for a moment, then smiles. "Honestly? I don't know. I just want to be with you. We'll figure the rest out as we go."

Eddie feels a warmth spreading through his chest. Still, he has to ask. "Who are you and what have you done to Steve?"

Tracing Eddie's slightly sunburned cheek with his finger, Steve laughs softly. "He just learned that good things can happen when you don't plan for them. Like falling in love and marrying that person before learning that they might even like you back."

"Love you back,' you mean," is all Eddie says. He presses a quick kiss to the soft skin of Steve's stomach before settling back down on the blanket.

As the sun sets, casting a warm glow over the water, they sit in comfortable silence, watching the world change colors.

[steddieislifeohio]

Eddie flopped down on his bed, his hair sprawled out onto the pillow. the dim lamp shone on him, his pallid skin glowly and tan in the light.

That night, Uncle Wayne was working another night shift at the plant, so Eddie was all alone. which, when you're sad and reminiscing on cute boys who are out of your league, isn't the best thing.

Eddie sighed. why was his mind like this? he's always been a straightforward person. but man, he had never been so confused in all 20 years. I mean, he'd never had a crush before. and he had never expected his first crush to be on Steve. steve. freaking. Harrington. he wasn't supposed to like him. but ever since they became friends and got to know each other, Eddie couldn't help the feeling he got when Steve was near.

It was a strange feeling. it was warm and fuzzy, and it made his legs weak and he could barely think straight. he was a confident guy for the most part, and he hated how Steve turned him into a flustered mess. it was like there was a fire that engulfed his entire body, suffocating him in the flames. he'd never touched Steve, but he imagined it'd feel like being swallowed up entirely by the fire, forever warm and cozy. he imagined running his fingers through Steve's hair, feeling his supple skin against his, and leaving love bites along his neck.

aw, hell. who was he kidding? Steve would never touch him. he wasn't gay, and he was so out of Eddie's league. but man, wouldn't that be nice? in his fantasies, none of that mattered. they held each other, kissed each other, laughed together, held hands, and all of the other romantic cliches that Eddie had hated before. laying together until they melted into each other, they were one.

before this, Eddie had always despised the jocks. they were all jerks who thought they were a higher class than everybody. yet it was only after they became friends Eddie realized things about Steve. every single detail. the way his honey-brown eyes looked like shimmery gold in the sunlight, the way they seemed to pierce your soul when they looked into yours. his arms, his legs, his hips, his smile, everything about him. The way he could relate to Eddie on some level, and he listened to what people had to say. he was a good person. scratch that. a great person. an amazing one.

Eddie didn't like being sappy, he was a strong person. at least on the outside. he was looked up to by his friends. they wanted to be him. even if he was considered a freak. he had been let down in his life when he was younger and It broke him down. and he would do anything to never be so small and vulnerable again. but when he saw Steve, for just a split second, he considered giving up having dignity anymore. just for a minute.

He sighed and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. wallowing in negativity was pretty much a hobby at this point. he pulls one out, lights it, and stares at the ceiling. he can't sleep, because he knows he'll just dream of Steve and be severely depressed in the morning. the thought of having no chance with the guy of his dreams completely gutted him.

it felt like the burning feeling wasn't warm and cozy right now. right now it burned. ached. his heart was in the pit of his stomach and nothing but sorrow and annoyance and grief filled him

now that he had experienced unrequited love, he understood why people talked about it. he was angry. but at who? he wasn't sure. he was sad, though his brain was telling him it wasn't that big of a deal. his heart was talking so fast, though he couldn't make out the words. he was falling in love. maybe. he'd never experienced it so he didn't really know. but everything was adding up. It killed him. and he didn't just hate it. he resented it. he loathed it. he aborhed it.

he groans and hits the cigarette one more time before putting it out and puts his face in his hands. when he closes his eyes, all he sees is Steve. his beautiful face. his stupid, beautiful face

Oh, how he hated it.

@Keydoods

hi so this fanart is not mine, it is by this creator named @keydoods and I recommend checking out her blog. this is part one of my series and I'm not really sure what to name it so please comment down some ideas. part two will most likely be up tomorrow.i think the next one will be from Steve's pov? if you have any name ideas or more ideas or details for the plot, PLS comment them down below. thanks to Key for letting me use their amazing art, and I'm very happy I was able to collaborate with her. I've always written fics but have been too scared to post them and I'm new to Tumblr so I hope you like it. I'm mostly just hoping Key likes it because I'm so insecure lol so bear with me. hope you guys enjoy this one because you'll enjoy part two even better! :)))))))

thanks again to @keydoods!

[sparklygraves]

I wish Hobie & Welty were my sweet fun antiquarian gay uncles & I could hide away in their shop & crash in the extra room sometimes & listen to Pippa play music & in the evening we’d have warm cozy dinners & Welty would tell us stories about his clients & Hobie would gaze at him with fond wonder & Theo & his boyfriend Boris would barrel in late but so happy & full of ridiculous funny excuses that none of us mind & then we’re all watching a movie & I feel so honored that Popchyk is sitting in my lap & Boris is pouting that his beloved fluffball loves me more than him & Theo rolls his eyes & me & Pippa laugh & Welty is asleep on Hobie’s shoulder & Hobie is shaking his head & smiling at the cozy chaos of us all ❤️

[tempting-andromeda]

Can I please have headcannons for Sadie with fem s/o who is secretly in love with Sadie. She wants to confess her feelings but is scared of how she might react. Fem reader drops little hints here and there and eventually confesses one night at camp when everyone is asleep and they are the only ones awake. I would love to see how Sadie and fem reader deal with being secret lovers in 1899 since it wasn’t smiled upon back then and very dangerous to be lesbian/gay/bi, etc and i would love to see how they are out, open and free with the other camp members and how they are comfortably out to John Abigail Jack uncle and Charles post RDR2. And please do a little fast forward to after the events of the game when John Charles and sadie k*ll Micah and sadie is happily settled down with fem reader and their poodle dog! Just living a quiet happy wholesome life where sadie works as a bounty hunter and comes home to fem reader cooking a delicious meal sorta life. Cozy, warm vibes and a happily ever after together forever 💖💖💖💖💖 sorry if this is cheesy and cliche I just love this little idea I have in my head of Sadie happily married to her fem s/o (low key of course because it was illegal to be LGBT in the 1800s and I would love to see how Sadie and fem reader navigate their life before and after the events of the game) !! Love your blog! 🥰✨✨✨

Sadie Adler

I think it would genuinely take sadie a bit to get back into a relationship

She’s traumatized and she just lost jake and so she doesn’t even realize you were dropping hints

You two get close and there’s this lingering emotion but she purposefully ignores it

It takes until like a month or so for her to finally acknowledge it and at first she doesn’t want to be in a relationship

Super against it because she’s a mess

When you confess she somehow rejects you but returns the feelings at the same time

Takes everything at a slow pace

It’s not like internationalized homophobia or anything…homegirl had like the worst experience ever a few months back

Likes to hold your hand

It’s such a tender thing

Separating your finger and bending them slowly while you both lay on your sides facing one another while you try to sleep

A very complicated “we’re not dating but we are”

Likes standing around you just to have your company but sometimes she just looks like a body guard with her arms crossed

Kisses your finger tips

Idk I just think she wouldn’t be ready for actual kisses so she works her way up

Everyone knows you two are somewhat a thing because even if you both wanted to hide it Sadie will practically growl at anyone who stares too long

Likes to go off with you and doesn’t tell you what you’re doing

Give you a quick “come on” and doesn’t answer any questions

Thinks anything can be a surprise if she wanted to to be

She wants to go to the gunsmith to get a new rifle? She’s gonna take you and act like she has the most romantic date planned

After the events of rdr2 she’s healed a lot more

She wasn’t on her own for like…8 years so she’s definitely grown

More into physical touch

Loves coming behind you and grabbing your waist while she nuzzles into your neck and kisses it

She’s a cheeky bastard

How can she do anything wrong she’s just a girl with a gun

Tells you all about her bounties and sometimes if you get her too into it she’ll recreate some moments

Jumping up out of bed to act out slashing a guys neck and getting blood on her

She’s so dramatic and she’s giving you a lopsided grin

Picked the poodle up as an apology for getting stabbed when she hunted down Micah with John

She saw how Abigail reacted with John and she didn’t want to be in the dog house

Always insists a meal needs more seasoning no matter how much you add

It either needs more salt or pepper

She’s real hesitant about pda and to other people y’all have an elaborate story about how both of your husbands died and you’re widowers together

Just besties

She has horrible jealousy isssues

She’s not worried you’d cheat

She just possessive

Tried to invite John and Abigail over for dinner frequently but after the first time she couldn’t do it again

Had to protect her peace

And she got tired of everyone mid way and didn’t know how to tell anyone she just wanted to nap with her wife

Whenever y’all do hang out with the marstons she somehow gets kicked out of the wife circle and is forced to Interact with John

She has fun but John is just so much to deal with

She’s absolutely shit at cooking

She can cook meat but anything else?

She complains if you try to get her to cook

If you do make her cook or you can’t she just goes into town and buys something that’s easy or already made

Likes to join you in the kitchen when you cook though

She’ll stand behind you with her hands on your hips telling you to cut the potatoes bigger or smaller

Whenever it’s just you two or any of your friends she loves to call you her wife

Smiles all goofy and everything

[two-hearts-beat]

Dan and Phil's return honestly feels like my gay uncles who I haven't heard from in years suddenly inviting me to thanksgiving dinner in their cozy house and it somehow feels like coming home

[justvoidsdumbstuff1]

Thorax and Sunburst babysitting Cozy (Cozy's gay uncles)

[ninja-muse]

As you can maybe tell by the three reviews I posted in July, it was a good reading month! Overall, at least. I still had a couple “this was fine” and one DNF, but there were a lot of hits and I read more books than I have the last few months.

So, highlights: The Hollow Places was fantastic, as was Bookshops and Bonedust but for very different reasons. If you’re worried that Baldree won’t be able to repeat the magic of Legends and Lattes, stop now. It was pure cozy delight. March’s End didn’t get a review simply because I already had three coming, but it was also very good. It examines family dynamics and the realities of a portal fantasy world in a very complex, adult way. The characters are believable if not necessarily likeable, the world-building is great, the writing is strong… all the things.

But between March’s End, The Hexologists, and The Hollow Places, I needed a lot of lighter books to balance, as you can probably tell by the rest of my list. I enjoyed pretty much everything! I’m just sorry I didn’t like the Sanderson more but I guess that’s a sign he isn’t an author for me since I didn’t like the last book of his I read either. I’m also a bit sorry I couldn’t get into The Atlas Six because so many people love it, but I dropped it in a Little Free Library and it got snapped up almost instantly so hopefully it’s found a better home.

So that was my unhaul of the month! I … did not do well with my book haul, or perhaps I did too well with it. The Odyssey and Thud were both damaged books that came in at work and I couldn’t say no. Thud has some wear to the cover; the Odyssey has some uncut and weirdly bound pages I’ll need to slice open. (Have I read and do I own other editions of both? Absolutely.) Love in the Time of Serial Killers was an unexpected rebound—I originally got it as a reading copy and passed it on to a coworker, who sent it back when she’d finished.

And then, well. There’s a new bookshop opening in my metro area. They’ve taken over from a used bookstore and have to sell off its stock before they can properly move in their own. I had to go help out, right? I couldn’t find anything in their SFF section I wanted but still left with three books: Gaudy Night, Evelina, and a collection of Molière. I went with friends, the same day we saw Barbie. ’Twas a very good day, all around.

And last but not least, I have started on one of those long, dense reads that will last ages. I’ve had Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century on my shelf for years and made it a goal to finally start it this year, since it’s totally up my alley but also huge and academic. There was a point in July where I didn’t want epic stories, light stories, or narrative non-fiction, so I figured that was as good a time to start it as any. I’ll probably read a section or two a month, whenever a similar mood hits.

And now without further ado, in order of enjoyment…

The Hollow Places - T. Kingfisher

Kara moves into her uncle’s museum of weird after her divorce, only to discover another universe behind a wall.

9/10

🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (gay), disabled secondary character

warning: body horror

Bookshops and Bonedust - Travis Baldree

Viv is recuperating from an injury in a sleepy town, where she finds a struggling bookshop, new friends, and a mystery. Out in November.

9/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic)

March’s End - Daniel Polansky

The Harrows have been tasked for generations with protecting a fantastical other world, but now the family is fracturing and that could endanger everything.

8/10

major 🏳️‍🌈 character (lesbian), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic), African-American secondary character

warning: toxic family dynamics, commentary on colonialism

Imogen, Obviously - Becky Albertalli

Imogen puts the A in Ally and that’s fine. Then she visits her best friend in college and meets a girl….

8/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (bisexual), main character with anxiety, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (nonbinary, pan, lesbian, bisexual), Jewish secondary character, Brazilian-American secondary characters, secondary character with ADHD, Japanese secondary character, Black secondary character, 🏳️‍🌈 author, #ownvoices

warning: biphobia, discourse

The Hexologists - Josiah Bancroft

The Wilbys get more than they bargained for when they’re hired to find a lost royal heir and stop the king from baking himself into a cake. Out in September.

7.5/10

possibly biracial main character

The Bookbinder - Pip Williams

When World War I pushes Peggy out of her routine, she’s forced to choose: a life binding the books of the Oxford Press or a life studying them?

8/10

major autistic secondary character, disabled secondary character

warning: war, injuries

The Nobleman’s Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel - KJ Charles

Rufus is the new Earl of Oxney, saddled with a crumbling estate and a bitter family. Desperate for a good secretary, he hires Luke—who has a hidden agenda which doesn’t involve tupping the boss. And yet. Out in September.

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 main characters (demisexual-gay, gay), main character with dyslexia, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (gay), minor Black British character

warning: toxic family dynamics, abuse

Weird Rules to Follow - Kim Spencer

Mia starts to notice that she and her best friend are living very different lives, with very different expectations from the adults around them.

7/10

Ts’msyen protagonist, Mexican-Canadian secondary characters, Ts’msyen secondary characters, Gitxsan secondary character, Ts’msyen author, #ownvoices, 🇨🇦

warning: racism, alcohol abuse

A Man and His Cat, Vol. 3 - Umi Sakurai with Taylor Engel (translator)

Kanda begins to deal with his emotional baggage, with the help of his cat and a fellow teacher.

7/10

Japanese cast, Japanese author, #ownvoices

Bookshop Cinderella - Laura Lee Guhrke

Evie is quite content as a spinster with a bookshop. Duke Maximilian has wagered he can make her the diamond of the season. This is a strictly platonic alliance, of course.

6/10

The Frugal Wizard’s Handbook for Surviving Medieval England - Brandon Sanderson

An amnesiac man wakes up in a country that may or may not be Anglo-Saxon England with an exploded guidebook. Good thing he has ~*~Mystical~*~ ~*~Powers~*~™.

6.5/10

Persian secondary character, Chinese-American secondary character

Picture Books

The Skull - Jon Klassen

Otilla finds a large house in the woods inhabited by a talking skull, so she helps him in return for shelter.

🇨🇦

DNF

The Atlas Six - Olivie Blake

Six ambitious magicians compete for a coveted place at the Library of Alexandria.

🏳️‍🌈 main characters (multisexual); Black-British, Cuban, Japanese, and Persian main characters; Filipino-American author

Currently reading:

Kill Show - Daniel Sweren-Becker

A teen goes missing after running back to her school bus for a bag. Forget podcasts: time for the reality show! Out in October.

warning: missing child, murder

The Wager - David Grann

A secret mission in the Age of Sail. A shipwreck and a mutiny. The perils of the sea—and your fellow man.

Music from the Earliest Notations to the Sixteenth Century - Richard Taruskin A history of early written European music, in its social and political contexts.

Stats

Monthly total: 11+1 Yearly total: 75/140 Queer books: 4 Authors of colour: 2 Books by women: 7 Authors outside the binary: 0 Canadian authors: 1 Off the TBR shelves: 1 Books hauled: 6 ARCs acquired: 4 ARCs unhauled: 6 DNFs: 1

January February March April May June

[gay-jewish-bucky]

Bucky/Steve being incredibly popular with Bucky's younger generation of relatives and not getting it entirely (Bucky thinks its cuz they always have the best gelt) but going with it. Like all the kids are so excited when they come over and want to hang around them. The kids facetiming Bucky and Steve when they need homework help and asking Uncle Bucky to help with Hebrew lessons. Teaching them all the tiktok dances ahead of bar/bat mitzvahs. Buck's also great with kids and its healing for him.

I adore this so much!!!!!

They're the fun gay uncles with the super cool house that everyone wants to hang out at all the time.

The kids all love the baby goats, and they adore alpine.

They'll come to Steve and Bucky for everything because they know they won't judge.

Steve will teach them Irish curses (much to Bucky's mock annoyance), Bucky speaking to them in Yiddish, so they don't lose fluency.

Bucky will always feed them as much Jewish comfort food as he can and helps with science homework, Steve will get really invested in their art and show them how to use different supplies.

They always have movie nights in their cozy attic low-tech 'theatre', Prince of Egypt is a frequent re-watch.

Bucky helping them study for the b'mitvahs and them helping Bucky study for his (to honour the anniversary of his "rebirth").

I'm so soft, this is so perfect 🥺

[runthepockets]

Why tf did gay people start writing sports off as straight culture like ok sure everyone has annoying ass uncles that get too riled up over Football but sports are a good outlet for anger and aggression and they're an excellent source of bonding and mood improvement which imo a lot of gay and trans people need especially after the pandemic and all the bs going on rn. Also, anyone can do it. Basketball football baseball kickball frisbee golf anything you can go to a park with like 2-6 homies in your simplest cozy fits and make that shit happen on an off day. Like idg the hate. Sports are good US culture just sucks.

[eccentric-ocean]

late may/early june reading list

Bound to Fall by A.K. Caggiano

This is a spinoff of Villains and Virtues and technically book #4 in the series. Having invested in a non-amazon e-reader, I couldn't get a hold of it in a digital format. I believe the author self-publishes through amazon? So, after much pondering, I got the paperback. And I was not disappointed. I loved it. It's a story about opposites who turn out to have loneliness in common, the way AK Caggiano has mastered them. And we get cozy little (magical) town vibes, as well as a backstory on a villain from a different book. Don't actually recall why I knocked off half a star and gave it 4.5, might've been the smut I wasn't vibing with or some of the magic I had a hard time following.

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation: Mo Dao Zu Shi (Novel) #1 and #2 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

Very much here for WWX and LZ, which means the big chunks of story where either of them is missing are looooong.

Boyfriend Material and Husband Material by Alexis Hall

I promise I have not set out to read A. Hall's entire body of work this year, although it looks like it. In my defense, I already know there's some of his books I will not be reading, just cuz they're not my cup of tea. But that's already 5 books of his I've read in 2 months. And I've enjoyed all of them, some A LOT. Boyfriend Material is um... about polar opposites falling in love. Do you sense a theme in my reading lately? Anyway it's funny and lovely and gay. And the characters are complex. They get even more so with Husband Material, which is all about whether marriage is for everybody. Whether there is a "right" way to be gay. What happens when your shitty parent dies. etc.

I confess Husband Material was less fun than the first book. Simply cuz there is that constant tension around marriage/weddings, until it finally breaks at the end. Still worth a read for more Lucien and Oliver. Some of the cast of friends felt more cartoonish than others but meh, I still enjoyed them.

BTW Lucien just cannot be a sexy name to me, as a french person, even tho I could tell Oliver was supposed to say it sexily. It stopped being popular sometime in the 1950s/1960s so it's bringing up thoughts of someone's great-uncle for me. I had to fight this throughout both novels lol. But at least the author had mercy on me and DID NOT write smut in these.

What I'll read next:

Must finish Veiller sur elle sometime.

Orwell's Roses is next on the TBR. Unless I go for fiction instead, in which in case Yulin Kuang's debut novel How to End a Love Story is a strong contender.

My 2024 storygraph chart currently looks something like this: