#gay fort lauderdale
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Bernie’s Hideaway
NOUVEAUTÉ 🥳 Bernard (québécois d'origine) et Patriciu t'accueillent dans leur suite B&B gay friendly de Fort Lauderdale en Floride, la Bernie’s Hideaway.
🏳️🌈🛎 Book now : www.gayvoyageur.com/etablissement/bernies-hideaway
Située dans le quartier Poinsettia Heights de Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors, la maison d'hôtes est parfaite pour découvrir la région notamment la magnifique plage de Sebastian Beach. 🏖️
Avec la piscine chauffée en hiver et sa chambre tout confort, tu pourras profitez pleinement de tes prochaines vacances en Floride. 💦
#gayvoyageur#gay voyageur#gaytraveler#gay traveler#gaytravel#gay travel#gayfortlauderdale#gay fort lauderdale#gayflorida#gay florida#gayusa#gay usa#gaytumblr#gay tumblr
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Gay-Friendly Getaway: Pelican Grand Beach Resort - Fort Lauderdale, FL
Pelican Grand Beach Resort | 2000 North Ocean Blvd | Fort Lauderdale, FL 33305 | 1-866-905-8042 This past June I had the pleasure of being hosted at Pelican Grand Beach Resort in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Sitting directly on the Atlantic Ocean, Pelican Grand Beach Resort boasts breathtaking views and instantly surrounds guests with a sense of old Florida grandeur. From elegant beachfront dining…
#des sousa#desiree sousa#Fort Lauderdale boutique resorts#Fort Lauderdale gay friendly hotels#Fort Lauderdale gay friendly resorts#Fort Lauderdale gay wedding venue#Fort Lauderdale gay weddings#Fort Lauderdale Luxury resorts#Fort Lauderdale oceanfront hotel#Fort Lauderdale oceanfront resorts#Fort Lauderdale wedding venues#gay fort lauderdale#gay friendly fort lauderdale#gay travel#gay travel blog#gay travel influencer#gay travel information#gay travel writer#Pelican Grand Beach Resort#Pelican Grand Fort Lauderdale
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Flickr, 2006
#another gay movie#2006#Flickr#y2k#2000s#movie theater#florida#fort lauderdale#summer#palm trees#nostalgia#fav#photography
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Finally hung the @iliothermia print @2prince2sparkle and @ritterssport got me like 2 Christmases ago! Right above my @felixdeon print!
The start of a homoerotic Jewish collection 🫡
#I swear they're level it's just a lazy photo angle#They're above my bed between a robot and a homoerotic Herb Ritts poster.#Herb Ritts turned me gay BTW. Flipping through his photo book in the fort Lauderdale art museum gift shop.#Anyway#support living artists#artists of tumblr#jewish art#Jew stuff#post o' mine
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happy pride, the florida panthers are stanley cup champions.
#talky bits#hockey stuff#parade day on the last day of gay month? coincidence? i think not#they won for the gays 😌 it is fort lauderdale after all
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You guys won’t believe what just happened to me on IG. So I have quite the few followers because I just to post a lot about my car, granted that means I have a lot of male followers on there and I reposted my girlfriends post about her gym gains cause she’s a major gym girlie & im gonna support her journey like duh? That’s my girl. And this nasty balding dude sends me a picture of him at the gym talking about “If you want someone with real muscles, get yourself a man like this and get over your lesbo phase”
….
ARE MEN OKAY?!?!
Anyway long story short, I sent the screenshot of all that to his girlfriend and sister who he had tagged in his page 🤗
#I also posted it on my story and a lot of guys are replying about him getting beat up one time in a gay bar in Fort Lauderdale#so that’s interesting
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Florida quietly removes LGBTQ+ travel info from state website
FILE - Hundreds of people line Central Avenue and cheer during the 10th Annual St. Pete Pride Street Festival & Promenade in St. Petersburg, Fla. on June 30, 2012.
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) — Key West, Fort Lauderdale, Wilton Manors and St. Petersburg are among several Florida cities that have long been top U.S. destinations for LGBTQ+ tourists. So it came as a surprise this week when travelers learned that Florida's tourism marketing agency quietly removed the “LGBTQ Travel” section from its website sometime in the past few months.
Business owners who cater to Florida's LGBTQ+ tourists said Wednesday that it marked the latest attempt by officials in the state to erase the LGBTQ+ community. Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis previously championed a bill to forbid classroom instruction on sexual orientation and gender identity, and supported a ban on gender-affirming care for minors, as well as a law meant to keep children out of drag shows.
“It's just disgusting to see this,” said Keith Blackburn, who heads the Greater Fort Lauderdale LGBT Chamber of Commerce. “They seem to want to erase us.”
The change to Visit Florida's website was first reported by NBC News, which noted a search query still pulls up some listings for LGBTQ+-friendly places despite the elimination of the section.
John Lai, who chairs Visit Florida's board, didn't respond to an email seeking comment Tuesday. Dana Young, Visit Florida's CEO and president, didn't respond to a voicemail message Wednesday, and neither did the agency's public relations director.
Visit Florida is a public-private partnership between the state of Florida and the state's tourism industry. The state contributes about $50 million each year to the quasi-public agency from two tourism and economic development funds.
Florida is one of the most popular states in the U.S. for tourists, and tourism is one of its biggest industries. Nearly 141 million tourists visited Florida in 2023, with out-of-state visitors contributing more than $102 billion to Florida’s economy.
Before the change, the LGBTQ+ section on Visit Florida's website had read, “There’s a sense of freedom to Florida’s beaches, the warm weather and the myriad activities — a draw for people of all orientations, but especially appealing to a gay community looking for a sense of belonging and acceptance.”
Blackburn said the change and other anti-LGBTQ+ policies out of Tallahassee make it more difficult for him to promote South Florida tourism since he encounters prospective travelers or travel promoters who say they don't want to do business in the state.
Last year, for instance, several civil rights groups issued a travel advisory for Florida, saying that policies championed by DeSantis and Florida lawmakers are “openly hostile toward African Americans, people of color and LGBTQ+ individuals.”
But visitors should also understand that many Florida cities are extremely inclusive, with gay elected officials and LGBTQ+-owned businesses, and they don't reflect the policies coming from state government, Blackburn added.
“It’s difficult when these kinds of stories come out, and the state does these things, and we hear people calling for a boycott,” Blackburn said. “On one level, it’s embarrassing to have to explain why people should come to South Florida and our destination when the state is doing these things.”
#Florida quietly removes LGBTQ+ travel info from state website#florida#lgbtq#desatan#hateful#pride#lgbtq+#travel advisory for florida#another travel advisory for florida#civil rights
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Book 3 in The Bar None Dude Ranch gay romance series.
"Chris is looking for a change. His life has stagnated, and his love life is virtually nonexistent. He’s grown bored with life in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. The guys he’s interested in are all moving out of town, being replaced by younger, slimmer versions that do nothing for his libido. One night, on a rare occasion that he goes to a gay bar, Chris happens to notice a stack of business flyers near the door, advertising a once-in-a-lifetime getaway to a recreation of an old west town that’s only for gay men. His interest piqued, he researches the place on the internet and makes his plans to go to The Bar None Dude Ranch.
Mac McEnroe is a twenty-something who longs to meet someone older and more worldly-wise. His job as a courier doesn’t pay well and the working conditions aren’t great, but he’s saved enough money for a trip from St. Paul down to Houston, where he’s heard there is a treasure trove of men waiting to be discovered at, of all places, a dude ranch. For a young confused bisexual, Mac wants affirmation that his life is worth something. He’s not finding it in his girlfriend Maggie’s arms, so he thinks that maybe he’ll find it at the Ranch."
Explicit adult situations, some language.
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So I wander through these nights
I prefer hiding in plain sight
My fourth drink in my hand
These desperate prayers of a cursed man
Stonewall National Museum & Archives
1300 Sunrise Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
“Stonewall National Museum and Archives is a nonprofit, tax-exempt 501 organization in Fort Lauderdale, Florida that promotes understanding through preserving, interpreting and sharing the culture of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their role in society.”
#taylor swift#gaylor swift#kaylor#taylors version#ts 1989#1989 tv#sunrise Blvd#coding#stonewall#lgbtq pride
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Broward County tourism officials say that financial losses are continuing to mount as conventions once scheduled for Fort Lauderdale have opted to go someplace else. The tally now stands at 14, with four of those conventions backing out in August alone, according to Visit Lauderdale, the agency formerly known as the Greater Fort Lauderdale Convention & Visitors Bureau. They cite Florida’s culture wars on issues that critics say attack Blacks, gays, and transgender youth, as well as policies targeting state universities as well as migrants. Broward’s tourism arm said the lost conventions could have brought hotel stays to Fort Lauderdale and its surrounding cities, which also meant money spent on restaurants and attractions. On the updated list now includes the National Sales Network Conference, whose founder and CEO emailed the county Monday: “Moving forward, we will not consider conducting any future conferences in the state of Florida given the Governor’s statement that slavery was good for Black people.” And the Association for Research in Vision and Ophthalmology wasn’t planning its annual convention until 2028, but backed out last week, citing in an email: “At the moment, we aren’t able to consider any Florida cities because of the political issues around women’s health and the added challenges with higher education there.”
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Kliph Nesteroff: Do you know who Ray Bourbon is? Woody Woodbury: Yes! Bourbon was a gay comic. He worked down here in Fort Lauderdale. I only saw him once or twice. There was also a place he worked in Miami called The Jewel Box. That was, of course, what they called in those days a queer nightclub. Nobody thought anything about it and very few [straight] people went to it. I guess because it was a stigma on you if you were seen going to it. But we showbiz people, we'd go... We used to go watch him. Ray Bourbon. I haven't heard that name in a long time. A homosexual comedian back in the 1950s. He did some cross dressing comedy and was very much a visual act.
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FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) — South Florida prosecutors dropped criminal charges on Tuesday against a couple and their adult son who had been accused of severely beating a man who had been in a relationship with the son.
Yevhen Makarenko, his wife, Inna, and their son Oleh had each been charged with attempted murder, burglary and kidnapping in the August 2021 beating, the Sun Sentinel reported. Prosecutors had filed hate crime charges against them in April 2022.
Broward County Assistant State Attorney Veronica Walker wrote in a memorandum outlining the decision not to prosecute that a crime appears to have been committed, but there is no likelihood of conviction.
Defense attorney George Palaidis said the Makarenkos were at home when the attack occurred, as prosecutors acknowledged that cellphone records failed to place the family at the crime scene.
Deputies found the victim at his Pompano Beach home in August 2021, officials said. He initially told detectives that he fell down while drinking alcohol but later said that he had been beaten by Oleh Makarenko and his family.
Investigators learned that the victim and Oleh Makarenko had been dating for several months when his parents found out about the relationship and disapproved. But prosecutors said they were unable to corroborate significant portions of the victim’s account.
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Watch "Mahal Kita | Maricris Garcia | Official Lyric Video" on YouTube
youtube
MARICRIS GARCIA - 'MAHAL - KITA' - BEST - VERSION -
WE'RE - BUYING - MAKATI - ORIENTAL - OCCIDENTAL -
VERSION - IF - U - NOTICED - NO - MATTER - WHAT - I -
SAY - RAPED - OVER - 25 MALES - WHITE CALIFORNIA -
GUYS - 6'2 FT - BRUNETTES - RAPED - MY - 1ST WEEK -
VIOLENTLY - 1ST - WEEK - AT - MIAMI - FLORIDA - FL -
AFTER - FLIX BUS - BROUGHT - US - 2 - FORT - YES -
LAUDERDALE - INTERNATIONAL - AIRPORT - 14TH -
VIOLATION - LESS - THAN - 5 MIN - AWAY - FROM -
YOUR - LUGGAGE - WE - WILL - THREW - AWAY -
FLORIDA - 'US - STATE - CANNOT - DEPRIVE XO -
ANY - PERSON - OF - PROPERTY' - FLORIDA YES -
FORT MYERS - MALL - WANTED - ME - 2 - TAKE -
OFF - MY - CLOTHES - AS - HISPANIC - WHITE -
OVER - AGE 65 - BECAUSE - WHEN - THEY -
BOUGHT - AS - WHITE - SOUTHERNERS AS -
THEY - PUT - BLK - IRON - ON - THEIR -
NECKS - 3 FEMALES - IN - BEDROOM -
3 MALES - ANOTHER - BEDROOM AS -
THEY - SHOVED - THEIR - HOT DOGS -
2 - PRODUCE - KIDS - NOT - SLAVES -
BUT - SERVANTS - AND - LIGHTER -
SKIN - MALES - BECAUSE - THEY'RE -
GAY - THAT - SPIRIT - IS - STILL - IN -
FLORIDA - FOREIGNERS HERE AND -
VERIFIED - VICTORIA's - SECRET - BLK -
FEMALE - HISPANIC - WHITE FEMALE -
WHEN I - ENTERED - WITH - MY GOLD -
WATCH - 7 CARAT - ALARM - WENT ON -
THEY - SAID - I - STOLE - THEIR - BRA -
AND - PANTY - AS - LESBIANS - THEY -
WANT - BREASTS - 2 - LOOK - AT - FL -
VICTORIA's - SECRET - BRICKELL YES -
CITY - CENTRE - I - ASKED - CAN ME -
USE - MEASURING - TAPE - 2 - YES -
MEASURE - HEAD - 4 - HAT - LIKE -
ISLAM - BUT - 1 SPOUSE - NUDITY -
BORN - IN - USA - BLOW - JOBS 2 -
'MEASURING - JUST BREASTS - NOT -
YOUR HEAD' - LAUGHING - BUT YES -
CHECKING - IF - I - HAD - CATRIONA -
GRAY's - BREASTS - MS UNIVERSE 2018 -
LESBIANS - MOUTH - DROOLING - THUS -
I - BUY - AT - BAYSIDE - MARKETPLACE -
VICTORIA - SECRET - MANY - LESBIANS -
IN - MIAMI - BECAUSE - SPANISH - YES -
SPEAKING - LOVE - 2 - SHOW BREASTS -
BUT - AS FAT - WOMEN - THEY'RE NOT -
THIN - BLKS - PRODUCED - FR - 1,000 -
OF - THEM - ($0.01) - COPPER - PENNY -
THEY - BECAME - 3.5 MILLION - KIDS 2 -
LEE COUNTY COURTHOUSE - FORT -
MYERS - POLICE - THEIR - LAWYER -
FR - SLAVES - OWNER - RICHARD E LEE -
ALL - 50 STATES - LIKE - OWN - EUROPE -
OWN - GOV'T - UNTIL - MASS - MURDERS -
HURRICANES - CIVIL - UNREST - THEN FL -
IS - UNITED STATES - AGAIN - SO - WE -
INDEPENDENT - DEMOCRATIC PARTY -
WE'RE - LIKE - ENCLOSED - GOING - 2 -
ALL - 50 STATES - AS - WE - WILL USE -
HIGH - TECHNOLOGY - 2 - TRANSFER -
2 - OTHER - STATES - OTHER - TRUE -
COUNTRIES - WORLDWIDE - WALT -
DISNEY - 1 BANCRUPTCY - SAID IT -
'MOVING - FORWARD' - ALWAYS -
LEAVING - TOGETHER - STRONG -
TOGETHER - AS - I - WAS SAYING -
NO - PINAY - PINOY - FOLLOW ME -
BUT - WHEN - WE - BUY - MAKATI -
ORIENTAL - OCCIDENTAL - TRUE -
MINDORO - CLEAR - PRISM - PROTECTION -
WATERS - 2 - SO - WHEN - NUCLEAR BOMB -
SENT - THEY - SENDERS - GET - BACK THIS -
BOMB - 7 TIMES - ITS - FORCE - 2 EXPLODE -
THEIR - CITIES - 3 BARS - THIS - LAPTOP -
IS - NOT - FUN - TYPING - SO - THEY YES -
WANT - US - 2 - FINGER - TYPE - JESUS -
IS - LORD - THUS - MATH - QUESTIONS -
FREE - SMARTPHONES - LAPTOPS YES -
SUPER FAST - RECHARGERS - TABLETS -
WE'LL - ASK - GREAT - QUESTIONS - 1ST -
PRESIDENT - OF - UNITED STATES -
ANSWER -
GEORGE WASHINGTON
GOLD - TEETH - OR - WOOD
ANSWER -
WOOD
MARICRIS GARCIA - BEST - VERSION
HARD - 2 - FIND - THIS - SONG - WHY
DECIDED - 2 - GO - 4 - SEOUL KOREA
NINOY JR - HIS - ASSASSINATION
PHILIPPINES - CHANGED - VIDEO
KOREA - HASN'T CHANGED THEIR
VIDEOS - PHILS - MIAMI - BUFFET
MY - HOMELESSNESS - NO HELP
BE - LIKE - THEM - OPEN - YOUR
THIGHS - ILLEGAL - PROSTITUTION
THROUGH - MARRIAGE - WORK OR
CLEAN - THEIR - FLOORS - CHINA
THEY - JUMPED OFF MOUNTAINS
NOW - NO - PARACHUTES - WE -
SKYDIVE - ENJOY - ZIPLINES SO -
KOREA - KILLS - THEMSELVES - RIGHT -
NOW - MY - HEROS - ALL - WOMEN OF -
PHILIPPINES - TOLD - ME - 2 - WORK -
OR - MARRY - THEN - DIVORCE - SO -
THEY - MOUTH - SALIVA - OPEN -
THIGHS - RECEIVE - PENETRATION -
CLEAN - FLOORS - CLEAN TOILETS -
SO - I - CHOOSE - KOREA - 4 - THEY -
SING - DANCE - ACTORS - ACTRESS -
MARTIAL - ARTS - FILM - TV - TRUE -
WEAPONS - 7 - ELEVEN - HAS YES -
PLASTIC - GLASS - WITH - ICE HAI -
$0.75 - FREE - MICROWAVES - XO -
HOT - WATER - I - CHOOSE KOREA -
ACTUALLY - BUYING - BIRTH - YES -
CERTIFICATES - $5 - SSN - $5 -
PASSPORTS - $10 - VERY YES -
NICE - MULTI - CITIZENSHIP -
PRACTICING - LANGUAGE - WITH -
ACUPUNCTURE - NOT - ON BIRTH -
CONTROL - ONE A DAY - GUMMY -
BAYER - MULTI - VITAMINS AND -
MINERALS - BRAIN - SUPPORT -
EXCELLENT - LANGUAGES - IS -
NOW - EASIER - 2 - ME - ALSO -
CAN - SPEAK - JAPANESE - 2
NOT - JUST - SPEAK KOREAN
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Fort Lauderdale Gay Man Killed By New Year's Eve "Stray Bullet" While Hugging His Partner At Midnight - Joe.My.God.
https://www.joemygod.com/2025/01/fort-lauderdale-gay-man-killed-by-new-years-eve-stray-bullet-while-hugging-his-partner-at-midnight/ Best Wishes and Hugs, Scottie
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FAT SPRING BREAK
Bernard Kaplan was a retired FA (Fat Admirer) living in Colorado Springs, CO. His wife of 30 years, Esther, had passed away, and he was lonely. He went on the various FA/BBW web sites, but was mostly ignored because of his age. The internet was a young person’s game, especially if you were single and looking. The few times he was able to connect with a more mature BBW, they were after a real life relationship with a local man, and Bernie was 1000’s of miles away in the West.
One day, Bernie got a note from this guy named Jacob, from Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Dear Bernard,
My name is Jay Schmalz. There were 2 things in your profile that caught my attention. One was, we were both the same age, and two, it looked like you were into gaining weight like me. Or at least you were very proud of that huge belly of yours from all the photos you took of it. I thought we might get along well. Write back if you’re interested in being friends.
Your fat buddy,
Jay
At first, Bernie thought it sounded a little fishy. Was this some kind of come on from a gay Chubb model, wanting me to join his web site? Or was it a sincere note from another lonely fat guy, who took a chance by writing to him? He decided it was more likely the latter, so he wrote him back.
Dear Jay,
Not many of us old fatties on the Internet, are there? Thanks for writing me and for the kudos on my belly. I’ve been eating a lot since my wife Esther died. I find comfort in growing my belly huge to remind me of her. She was the Queen of big bellies. In her last few years she developed PKD or Polycystic Kidney Disease. Her mother had the same thing. She was on dialysis for a while, then her body started to shut down. I was going to give her one of my kidneys, but it was too late...she was gone shortly after that.
Anyway, I AM proud of my fat gut, but I seem to be the ONLY one. My family gives me a hard time about it, but as long as I enjoy it, I don’t care what others think. Are you married? What does wife think of your fat gut? Now that I’m retired (on early disability), I just relax and eat all I want. I used to have a lot of hobbies I enjoyed, but now with nobody here to share them with, I’ve stopped doing them.
Tell me what your days are like there in sunny Fort Lauderdale. It’s still chilly here in the shadow of Pike’s Peak. Thanks again for writing me.
Your friend,
Bernie
These first two emails sparked of a lively correspondence between Bernie and Jay. Over the course of several weeks, Bernie found out this information about Jay and his living situation:
*He never married, but lived with his Mother and Aunt in the same house for the last 60 years.
*He was still working full time at his Mother’s convenience store, supervising and stocking the morning supply shipments. He would get off work everyday by 1 pm.
*As much as possible, he was a practicing indoor and outdoor home nudist. His Mother’s home had a high wooden fence around the property, so he was able to swim, sunbath, and even mow the lawn completely naked.
*The relationship he had with his mother and Aunt, would be considered by most people, abnormal and perverse. His Mother would give him daily baths at night. She would spank his bare bottom for being disobedient. The two women ruled over him while he was in a constant state of nakedness. They both cooked for him too, and encouraged him to gain weight so that he would grow as fat as they were.
*Recently, his Mother had introduced Jay to a 40 year old SSBBW named Miriam, who was the daughter of one of her close friends. Jay liked her a lot, and convinced her to join him in his nudist lifestyle when she came to visit. Jay’s mother knew she wouldn’t live forever, and had arranged for Miriam to marry Jay and take over as a mother and wife to him.
*Jay must of been bisexual, because he has a strong attraction to BOTH fat men and fat women. Bernie told him he was straight, but he didn’t seem to mind. He wanted Bernie to teach him how to be a straight married man when the time came for him to marry Miriam. Bernie would be lying if he said he didn’t think this was one twisted set-up. In some ways he envied him, but mostly he felt sorry for Jay, the backward man child.
*Miriam was a Registered Nurse that worked at the Holy Cross Hospital in Fort Lauderdale. When Jay sent Bernie her picture he was flabbergasted. She looked like one of those cliche big nurses you see in cartoons: with the thick glasses, huge tits, large belly, and wide ass. A nightmare for some, but a dream come true for Bernie
Bernie couldn’t believe it when Jay asked him to come visit his home in Fort Lauderdale. There was no way he could have done it when Esther was alive, but with cheap flights and free room and board, he had just enough money to pull it off. Jay sent him an email of all the house rules he would be expected to follow, once he was there-
MOTHERS HOUSE RULES & SCHEDULE
5:00 am Wake up, prayers, and get dressed.
5:30 am Eat breakfast.
5:45 am Drive to work.
6:00 am to 1:00 pm Work at the Schmalz Store.
1:00 pm to 5:00 pm Chores and play. Must mow our lawn and Mr. Simmons’ lawn each week. Visit with Miriam at least 2 times per week.
5:00 pm Dinner.
6:00 pm TV or Visits or Reading
7:00 pm Bible study
8:00 pm Bath time
9:00 pm Prayers and Bed time.
Bernie- during the hot weather mother shaves me bald. She may make you do it too.
Miriam comes to swim in our pool twice a week. Sometimes we go to the beach. Don’t worry about being completely nude with me. I bought you a black jock strap that you will LOVE. We will both will wear them to the beach.
Plan on being here at least a week...if not two. You will have the best time of your life! I promise!
Bernie was looking forward to this visit. He had been talking to Jay long enough that he trusted him. He was very weird, but basically a nice guy and harmless. Maybe he was looking most forward to seeing super fat Miriam frolicking in the back yard naked. He figured nothing crazy would happen, but just being there to watch was plenty for him. Being naked in the hot Florida sun was what Bernie called a vacation!
Miriam sat across from Bernie in the back of the Uber SUV on their way to Jay’s house. While she was looking out the window, Bernie used that opportunity to feast his eyes on all of Miriam’s blubbery beauty. She had shoulder length dark hair, and a nice plump set of boobs. Her belly was enormous and really stretched out her nurse’s uniform to the limit. Her big legs were covered in white nylon stockings. She wore those sensible, soft flat-heeled nursing shoes that were hospital standard issue.
“I bet you can’t wait to get to Jay’s house and take off all of those hot clothes.” said Bernie.
“As a matter of fact, I was very much looking forward to a skinny dip in the pool with both you boys.” said Miriam.
Bernie could feel his 62 year old Johnson spring to life.
“When all three of us jump in, there won’t be anything ‘skinny’ about it! Ha! Ha!”
“Bernie tells me that you are embarrassed to be nude in front of me. Is that true?”
Bernie gulped hard, when she posed the question, while staring straight into his eyes.
“Well...Yeah. It’s a little humiliating to be totally exposed in front of other people. Especially in front of a beautiful woman like you.”
“You are such a charmer, Bernie!” said Miriam with a big grin on her face. “Jay has already told me you have a little 5 inch pecker, just like him.”
“What?! He wasn’t supposed to tell you that! Now I really AM embarrassed!”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of. I’m a nurse, and I’ve literally seen 100’s of men’s penis’. My personal preference is for the smaller sizes, as they are easier to handle.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“They’re a LOT easier to fit in your mouth! And of course less damage in penetrative sex. You knew that Jay and I were both sexually active, didn’t you? This despite the religious beliefs of his mother. Ha! Ha!”
“Well...he mentioned that when YOU bathe him, you sometimes give him a hand job.”
“Yes. We haven’t actually had full intercourse yet. We WILL wait until marriage for that. But if I determine that Jay has too much sexual tension, I try to relieve his stress.”
“That’s awfully nice of you.”
“I think so. I tell you what. If DON’T wear that stupid black jock-strap that Jay bought for you, I might relieve some of your stress, too.”
“Yikes! Won’t Jay get mad?”
“He actually WANTS me to do it, as long as he can WATCH. He might want to rub your belly too. Would something like that bother you?”
Bernie imagined a scene where Miriam and Jay were bathing him, and she had her soft hands on his Johnson, slowly stroking it...
“NO! That wouldn’t bother me at all. I would be very flattered, in fact. Heh. Heh.”
Bernie couldn’t believe what he was hearing. No wonder Jay said he would have the best time of his life. He could care less about Jay’s homoerotic interests in his belly, as long as he allowed him to enjoy the physical affections of his gorgeous fat girlfriend, Miriam.
“Hey you guys! Sorry I couldn’t be at the airport when you came in, Bernie.” said a completely naked Jay.
Bernie was a bit shocked when “naked as a Jaybird” Jay, came up and hugged both Miriam and him. Jay was a tall 5’ 10” compared to Bernie’s 5’ 7”. He was mostly skinny except for his hanging pot belly and spreading behind.
“It’s so good to finally see you, Bernie! I’m glad you got a chance to talk to Miriam on the way here. Isn’t she amazing?”
“Yes, she really is!” said Bernie.
Just then, Jay’s Mother and Aunt walked into the living room. They must have been in their late 70’s or early 80’s. They both looked old, but with tough looks on their faces.
You could tell they must have looked pretty good in their prime, but the years had put on a lot of weight and each looked to be appropriately 300 pounds each.
“Good afternoon, kids!” the mother said. “Oh, you must be Bernard! Come over here. Let Mama take a look at you.”
It was amusing to Bernie to hear two 62 year olds and a 40 year old referred to as “kids”. Mother Schmalz rubbed the top of his head, like she would to a child.
“Mama’s gonna buzz all this hair off, so you won’t sweat so much, OK, Bernard?” she exclaimed.
“Yes, ma’am.” was all Bernie could say back.
“Now you kids get them good clothes off, and cool off in the pool. Your Aunt and I will be busy making dinner. It’ll be ready at 5 O’Clock.”
“OK, Mama!” said Jay. “Hey Bernie! Let’s go back in my bedroom so you can get changed. I want to see how that new black jock-strap looks on you!”
“Remember what I said, Bernie...” said Miriam. “I’ll meet you boys at the pool.”
“What did she say to you Bernie?” asked Jay, as he lead him to his bedroom.
“She would prefer if I didn’t wear it.” said Bernie. “She also mentioned something about relieving my stress? What do you know about that, Jay?”
“She told you I wanted her to, right?”
“Yes but, Jay! I don’t want to get between you and your girlfriend. Are you sure it’s OK?”
“Bernie, you know I like both YOU and MIRIAM! It would be a huge turn on for me to watch you two do it. I need to see what a real straight guy acts like with a woman.”
“Miriam says you want to join in, too.”
“Ahh...Yes that’s true. Every since I saw those photos of your belly on the web, I’ve been dreaming about touching it. I hope you don’t mind.”
Suddenly, Bernie started to laugh hysterically.
“What’s so funny? I hope you’re not laughing at me.” said Jay sadly.
“No, it’s not you. I was just thinking of a joke. Something about me sucking your dick if Miriam would suck mine.” laughed Bernie.
“Like a threesome? All at the same time?” said Jay excitedly.
“I’m not being serious, Jay. I just thought it was a funny idea.” said Bernie.
“It was a GOOD idea. Let me look into that.”
“Forget it, Jay! Let’s just enjoy the pool now.” said Bernie, taking off his clothes.
After taking off his shirt, Bernie kicked off his shoes, and pulled his pants down.
“Oh my gawd, Bernie! I can’t believe it!” yelled Jay.
“What’s wrong? I TOLD you I had a small dick.”
“It’s not THAT!” exclaimed Jay. “It’s your FUPA! (Fat Upper Pubic Area)”
“What about it?”
“It’s huge! I’ve never seen one that big on a man except on Hansis Superchubs. It almost covers your entire crotch!”
“Yeah, I know. I see it all the time!”
“I think it might be bigger than Miriam’s. Hurry! Let’s go out and show her!”
The two jiggling fatties waddled outdoors to the pool area, where Miriam was sitting on a towel on the cement.
“Well...if it isn’t TWEEDLEDUM and TWEEDLEDEE! Now we have TWO naked jaybirds!” Miriam yelled.
Jay walked Bernie over to Miriam and started to whisper.
“Miriam...would you look at the size of Bernie’s FUPA. It’s HUGE! Ever see anything like that?”
Miriam reached up and squeezed the giant roll of fat with her thumb and forefinger.
“It IS rather large. How did you get this Bernie?”
“It’s called sitting at a desk for over 30 years!”
“OK...that makes sense.” said Miriam. “Well, I for one think it’s very cute. And LOOK! You can be completely naked, and still hide your little dick! Ha! Ha!”
“Yeah...just about about as funny as the way your belly covers up your pussy!” laughed Bernie.
“Oh, you noticed! You like that Bernie? Makes you wanna see what’s under the hood, doesn’t it? Ha! Ha!”
Bernie LOVED Miriam’s little double entendre jokes. But they also made him excited, which could be embarrassing with only a fat FUFA to hide your hard on.
“Time to jump in the pool!” shouted Bernie.
“Hey, come back!” said Miriam. “I thought I saw your FUPA move! Ha! Ha!”
“You’re gonna have to come in the water to check it out! Ha! Ha!” laughed Bernie.
Bernie swam to the other end of the pool.
“Jay! Help me up!” said Miriam, raising her hand. “How come I don’t see your flagpole at attention like his?”
“Because I get to see your naked body all the time. Today is Bernie’s first day. Give me a break!”
“I bet when you feel his FUPA, you’ll get one!”
“Hey you two! Stop arguing and jump in. The water’s fine!”
“Watch out, Bernie! Miriam only knows how to CANNONBALL! Ha! Ha!”
“And Jay here, can only do DEAD MAN’S FLOAT!” said Miriam pushing Jay into the pool first. Jay acted like it was a big joke on him, but you could tell he was sore.
Miriam walked around to the end of the pool that had steps and a railing.
“Unlike some fat old men I know, I prefer to descend daintily into water, like a lady.”
Miriam waded over to Bernie who was suddenly looking a little sad and teary eyed.
“What’s wrong, fatty? Did ya stub yer toe?” asked Miriam.
“Oh nothing...just seeing you here like this, made me think of my wife, Esther. She was the love of my life. I never though I’d ever be close to a woman like her again.”
“Cheer up mopey. I’m sure if she was here right now, she’d be telling you to stop mourning her and have some fun.”
“I guess you’re right. You know, Miriam, I think your belly is even bigger than my wife’s was. It’s really amazing.”
“I’ll let you feel it if you want. You can pretend it’s like the good old days, when you were young.”
Bernie reached his hand over to Miriam’s belly, and grabbed a handful of her glorious blubber.
“Oh my gawd! This feels so good. Jay is one lucky guy!”
“I know. You need to convince him of that. I feel like he’s starting to get cold feet about our upcoming wedding.”
“Do you have a date yet?”
“No. I was hoping, with your encouragement, we could do it before you left.”
“Are you serious?”
“DEAD serious! I am getting sick and tired of waiting. My biological clock has almost run out of time. If I want a baby with Jay, I have to do it now before it’s too late.”
“Isn’t there a lot of planning to do for a wedding?” asked Bernie.
“Not for the legal part. It’s gonna be me, you, Jay, his Mother and Aunt in front of a judge. The reception at their house will be the complicated part. His mother wants to throw a big blow-out for all their friends and family.”
“Are you going to be happy with this arrangement?”
“I think so. Look, Bernie, I’m a realistic woman. Jay’s Mother and Aunt will be passing away soon. I figure Jay’s got a good 20 years left...maybe. Then it’ll just be me and my child in this house. Jay will be a good provider and father. I really DO love him. And I will make the last years of his life very happy ones. I’ll give him all the sex he can handle.”
“Do you think it’s Jay’s bisexuality that makes him hesitant to marry you?”
“Yeah...I know all about that. Fat guys give him boners as much as I do. I know this may sound mean but...he needs to snap out of being a spoiled mama’s boy and be a MAN like you! He told me you were married 30 years with 4 kids. That’s something to be very proud of. I know it’s NOT too late for us. Will you promise to help me make this happen? I’ll do ANYTHING you want.”
Bernie stood there and thought for a minute. Suddenly he had an epiphany.
“If you really mean everything you just said, I have an idea that will have you two married before I go back to Colorado Springs!” said Bernie excitedly.
“You do?! What is it?”
“You’re just going to have to wait, a little bit longer.”
Miriam grabbed Bernie with both her huge arms and squeezed him tight. Then she gave him a long kiss with tongue.
“HEY! What’s going on over there? BERNIE! What are you doing with my girlfriend?!” yelled Jay.
Bernie swam over to where Jay was horsing around on an air mattress.
“She was just overjoyed with the good news I gave her.” assured Bernie.
“What’s the good news?” asked Jay.
“That I wouldn’t leave until you two got married!”
“What? Are you staying a year now? Not that I would mind.”
“It’s gonna be a lot sooner than that! You’re see...
That evening at 5:00 pm, Mama Schmalz and her sister laid out a fabulous feast. They were both excellent cooks who learned traditional German cuisine from their emigrant mother. Bernie noticed the gluttonous side Mama Schmalz personality came out as she kept encouraging everyone to eat as much as they could. By the time dessert came around, it was actually getting painful to take another bite.
“Come on, boys! Finish eating your Bienenstich! (a very sweet cake) Miriam has out eaten the both of you. You ought to be ashamed!” said Jay’s mother.
“It’s not fair Mama! Miriam has a bigger stomach than us!” shouted Jay.
“For talking back to your mother, Jacob, you will be getting the paddle after dinner!”
She then turned turned to Bernie and pointed her finger at him.
“I want to see you too Bernard! Miriam! Help us do the dishes! You boys stay right here at the table...don’t move!”
This was way too much for Bernie to comprehend. This 80 year fat woman was still treating her 62 year old son like he was a child. And now HE was getting mixed up in this business too!
You should be reminded that Jay, Miriam and Bernie never got dressed, even after getting out of the pool. All three, ate their dinner in the nude, and now all three were waiting for Mama to get to the corporal punishment...in the nude!
“Jacob! For talking back to your mother, you will be receiving 3 smacks!”
She had him bend over a chair seat, with his bottom exposed on the side. His mother had a big wooden paddle with holes drilled in it to prevent wind resistance. She may have been fat and old, but she definitely knew her way around a punishment paddle. Jay’s behind got beet red after those 3 smacks. Now it was Bernie’s turn.
“Was I supposed to have done something?” asked Bernie very seriously.
“I looked out the window, while I was making dinner. What was all that monkey business in the pool with Miriam?” she said accusingly.
“It wasn’t HIM! It was ME!” yelled Miriam.
“You be quiet. I’ll get to you in a minute. Well, Bernard? Was she forcing you to stick your tongue in her mouth? Hum?”
OK! I’m guilty!” yelled Bernie.
“OK...3 smacks for you!”
Bernie bent over the chair and prepared for the worst. His 3 smacks hurt so bad he yelled FUCK! after each one.
“I give you another smack for cursing, Bernard!” said Mama.
He was just about to say it after the 4th smack but he held it in. Jay started to laugh hysterically. Bernie got up from the chair.
“Now for you Missy! You’re supposed to be my boy’s fiancé, and yet you make out with his best friend? What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Schmalz. Bernie had just told me some very good news, and I got over excited.” said Miriam.
“What good news?” asked Mama.
“That he was going to convince Jay to marry me, before he went home!”
Mama’s jaw dropped open. First she screamed with joy, then gave Miriam a big hug. Then she got a serious look on her face.
“You still shouldn’t have let him kiss you like that. You get one smack!”
With some difficulty, Miriam bent over the chair, and took her one smack.
“I think I better get dressed and leave now.” said Miriam sadly.
“What about my bath?” said Jay.
“Your mother can do it for you. I don’t feel very well at the moment. It was nice meeting you Bernie. Hope to see you later.”
“Bernie! What are you up to? What’s all this shit about me getting married before you leave?” exclaimed Jay. “This was supposed to a fun week in the sun, goofing around with me and Miriam!”
“Jacob, I hate to tell you this, but you’re being a damn fool.”
“What do you mean?”
“Miriam is a 40 year old woman who has to get married NOW if she wants to have a family. Do you understand? She can’t wait any longer!”
“Alright. But that’s HER problem. Maybe I don’t want to have a baby at my age.”
“BUT SHE DOES! And if you DON’T give her one now, she might leave you!”
“I wouldn’t like that.”
“I should think not! Miriam’s the best thing in your life right now. You don’t want to lose her. But, you’re going to have to do something very HARD.”
“What’s that?”
“GROW UP! I know you’re VERY used to being your mother’s boy, because you’ve been doing it for 62 years! But things are going to have to change.”
“Like what?”
“Spankings for one! Your mother is being ridiculous!”
“But I like them. It’s my kink.”
“Then have Miriam spank you if you like it so much, but YOU need to be the man of your own house, NOT your mother. Even SHE understands that.”
Jay got a funny look on his face.
“You really stuck your neck out, promising Miriam we’d get married before you left. How could you be so confident that I’d say yes? And I still may say no. Do YOU have any skin in this game?”
Bernie frowned at his friend.
“Jay, I KNEW you would try to drag your feet on this, so, YES, I DO have some skin in this game. Remember that threesome idea I joked about?”
“Yeah, that was a real GOOD idea, too. But I doubt she’d go for it, now.”
“What if I told you, that the day after you get married to Miriam, it’s a done deal?”
“NO WAY! All three of us TOGETHER at the same time?”
“Yes. If that’s what it takes. But I want you to realize something. This is a one time deal. I will only do this once before I leave next week. If you don’t get married, all bets are off, and you’re going to wind up one sad and lonely man. Understand?”
“Yeah, I understand. But what turned your little joke into a reality?”
Bernie stretched out on the bed he’s be sleeping in that night He folded his arms behind his head.
“Jay...I’ve already had a full life with my wife, Esther for over 30 years. I have 4 grown children and a few grandkids on the way. Don’t you think Miriam deserves a chance at the same thing?”
“Well, sure I do.”
“Then why are you dragging your feet about this?”
“I’m not worried about Miriam. I’m worried about ME. I beginning to think I’m too old to change my ways.
“What are you talking about?”
“You said it yourself. Growing up. Being a man. Not fucking around with other fat men.”
“WHAT? You have sex with other fat men? When do you have time to do that?”
“At work. It doesn’t take me 8 hours to take in orders and restock the shelves. I always take an hour or two lunch to have my fun. I’m the fucking boss after all. I can do whatever I want.”
“Are you telling me, you wouldn’t be able to give this up this behavior for the sake of Miriam?”
“I don’t know if I can, Bernie. I’ve been doing it a long time. The only reason I brought up the marriage thing with Miriam was because you told me I should.”
“I thought it would make you happy, like any normal man would be!”
“And you were right! The marriage idea made me and Miriam very happy. This may be crude way to put it, but I starting thinking- why buy the cow, when I’m getting the milk for free?”
“Is that all Miriam is to you, FREE MILK?”
“You don’t understand. She gives FANTASTIC milk.”
“I’m sure she does. But you’re a BASTARD, Jay!”
“Why are you calling me that, Bernie? I thought we were friends.”
“We still are friends, Jay, but this changes EVERYTHING!”
“Why Bernie?”
“Because you NEVER had any intention of marrying Miriam.”
“I thought about it seriously, for a while.”
“Oh my gawd! I can see it all clearly now! This marriage would have been a TOTAL FUCKING DISASTER, and it would have been partially MY FAULT! I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was so WRONG!”
Bernie turned over on his face and started crying...a lot.
“Why are crying, Bernie? You didn’t do anything wrong. It was ALL ME. You don’t have anything upset about.”
Bernie stopping crying and turned to look at Jay.
“Tell me something, Jay. And you can be honest, and I won’t get angry. Did you think the threesome idea was good because you want to have sex with me?”
“Isn’t that obvious? You are one of the hottest fat guys I know. And I’ve know a lot of them.”
“OK, Here’s what’s going to happen. You, me and Miriam are going to spend the day at the beach tomorrow. I’m going to take her aside and tell her I’ve failed. That you will not marry her. It’ll be up to her to decide, what she wants to do after that. You can keep living your life as you have been, without that problem hanging over your head.”
“You’re also screwing up our situation!”
“LOOK! I’m helping you to be a REAL MAN with Miriam by telling her the TRUTH! Whatever you work out with her after that, is up to you.”
“What are you going to do?”
“After tomorrow, I’m packing my bags for the first plane back to Colorado Springs. We’ll still keep in touch.”
A week later, back in Colorado Springs.
Bernie did everything he said he would on that fateful day on the beach in Florida. It was not easy. When Miriam heard the truth about Bernie, she was almost hysterical with grief, anger, and sadness.
After she calmed down, Bernie told her his feelings about the situation. He felt sad for his friend, Jay, that he wasn’t willing to change. He told Miriam he thought she was a wonderful, attractive, big woman, that would make an incredible wife and mother to any man lucky enough to be chosen by her. He gave her his phone number and address and said that she would be always welcome in his home.
After a week of talking on the phone everyday, Bernie finally admitted that he LOVED Miriam. In fact, he said he thought he fell in love with her, on that first day they met at the airport. He knew he was old, and only had about 20 good years left, but asked if she would seriously consider choosing him as her husband. He had a big house to raise their family in and financial security for her future after he passed away.
He was a bit crushed when she told him she was going to have to think about it. She was still a bit traumatized over what had happened with Jay. The ideal thing would be to find a man her own age to have a long life together. Bernie said he understood that and thought she ought to do what was best for her.
Bernie got a sad e-mail from Jay, telling him his mother had died. He was pretty devastated by it. A month later, Jay told him his Aunt died, too. He said he’d be spending the next month trying to get all their affairs in order. There was a depressed tone in his words.
Miriam called Bernie a month later, and said the hospital told her she had to use up some of her built up vacation time. She wanted to know if it was OK to come and stay at his place for a week. Bernie was overjoyed. His prayers had been answered. She asked him what kind of clothes should she bring, and he said it was getting kind of nippy outside, but he kept his house warm with a big fireplace.
He also told her, at his house, NO NUDITY was required. They both had a big laugh over that one.
THE END
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Need football to help use a teetb missing to annoy gay bashers from gettimg credit for punching them out of face ;) gay hating canada wont fuck off allready
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