#gatecrasher dude

[kimmiessimmies]

Winter 08: Dateless - Pt.2 (25/64)

6. Nathanial

I got back relatively late last night because my date with Nathanial was very... eventful...

Nathanial wanted to go to the movies, but the new cinema in Honeycomb Valley is not yet finished and I didn't feel like going all the way to Bridgeport. So we decided to go bowling instead. Nathanial was friendly when we met, and things were off to a good start.

We started our game. I had the first turn...

I knocked down 9 pins in the first throw! "Well done, Rachel!" someone said behind me. I figured that was Nathanial...

But as Nathanial took his turn, the same voice said, "He's not nearly as good as you are." This confused me, but as I looked around, I saw the guy sitting behind us staring at me... He looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite place him...

Nathanial created by @flotheory

[candywife333]

Light A Candle for Me (Part 2)

Second part of the Diwali special fic

(may have a smutty additional part, but I am not sure about that yet)

ugly duckling/late bloomer chubby reader x rich idol Jungkook

Triggers: non-con picture taking (Y/N is still clothed) , eventual smut (rough)

Disclaimer: The Jungkook written in this fic is not an accurate representation of the real life Jungkook's thoughts or actions. Keep in mind that this is fiction. has minimal to no proofreading.

I showed up at the party a little late. People flooded the premises. My mom came up to it, draped in a gorgeous orange sari shimmering with gold threads, popping a jalebi (syrupy orange sweet) into my mouth. I chewed on it lackadaisically, rather fatigued due to the busy day at work. Bang- PD had messed up his keyboard by eating and working on it at the same time and he would have to get it replaced unless I found a way to fix it. Thank god I could do that in time for the party.

I had gotten looks all day at HYBE from so many people, especially men that would have never looked my way otherwise. I was uncomfortable with all the attention, and frankly that was the exact reason that I did not dress up at work. On my off days I wore the most flamboyant vintage outfits with pearls and ornate jewelry. Yet, I just couldn't shake the anxiety with being noticed for looks in professional settings.

I had invited my co-workers--mainly people in my department and kind people I had met in other departments of HYBE-- to this Diwali party that my family was hosting. What I didn't expect was not only the people I invited, but gatecrashers that should not be here. Either I was hallucinating, or I could see Jungkook-ssi right in front of my glittering gold house gate entering the premises.

I frowned, why the hell was he here? When I didn't invite him? I barely spoke to the dude.

Jungkook POV

I entered the Bowser's house, due to a few of her co workers who I was close with, inviting me to tag along. They promised that she always had great food at her annual parties, and since they knew I wouldn't miss good food for anything, I showed up. As I entered, I noticed a glowing lady wrapped in fabric that showed of her curvaceous hips and bountiful behind. She was reaching over, back facing me, trying to string up a set of lights onto a miniature palm tree that was still taller than her.

Why was she so familiar? I walked over to her and saw the front of her outfit, realizing who she was. She was the girl from the picture in the morning. As I caught sight of her face, I froze in my tracks. It was Bowser, it was y/N. The sexy girl in the photo from the morning was Y/N and I didn't know how to feel.

That sari was doing things to me that I could not explain in polite company. I came here to eat, but now I had set my sights on devouring something entirely different. My eyes slid up her body wrapped in gold embroidered patterns. As I watched her in a daze, I noticed the ladder she was on slipping. I moved quickly, grabbing her by her waist. But, I didn't realize the propulsion of gravity and her body weight forced me onto the ground with her on top of me.

I could feel the lush softness of her lips massaging mine. We were kissing. And I didn't want to stop.

Her eyebrows furrowed, staring me down as she willed me remove my arms from around her waist, holding her to me. I didn't stop. I pushed my tongue into her mouth and she resisted, initially stiffening up. But something must've happened to change her mind, because she gave in and kissed me back, letting her tongue entangle mine. I could feel the rush. It was as though there were some type of magic in her. The sweet and tart taste of her mouth was addicting.

Just as quickly as she fell into the spell, she seemed to snap out of it as she struggled to get off of me. I reluctantly let her get up, off of me. I missed her body on top of mine already.

Y/N POV

I felt ashamed, letting him kiss me. A literal stranger. I knew his reputation and I was nowhere near him. A person like him did not belong with a person like me. I ran away upstairs, trying to catch my breath in my room. I would stay up here in the guise of working on the flower and candle arrangements.

Before I could shut my door behind me, a strong large hand blocked me from closing the door. I barked out seeing who it was, "Get the hell out of my room. Otherwise I am going to scream".

He smirked, his dark eyes flashing in the dim light only brightened by a few candles, "I will make you scream for a different reason sweetheart. Now why don't you tell me how you hid your beauty from me for so long?"

I scoffed, sitting away from him on my bed, "You never looked. People can't find things that they don't look for".

Before I could even notice, he was right next to me on the bed, warm large hand gripping mine, a slight smile on his face, eyes twinkling, "What if I'm looking now? I may be late to the party, but I can see you now. And you are driving me crazy. I can't stop thinking about you and your body".

I muttered back sharply, "I'm not interested in a casual relationship in a fling. You will have to find someone else for that". He squeezed my waist, making me startled, as he stared at my breasts, the shape of them apparent through the translucent fabric, "Who said it would be casual"?

"I am very serious about you", he jibed back, a disconcerting sparkle in his eyes as he stared at me. I laughed, "You may be serious, but no way will you be able to take this sari off of me to find out". His eyes glittered dangerously, as he drawled out in a gravelly tone, "Is that a bet darling"?

[thecornwall]

Cornwall's Random Card of the Day #1015: Towering Thunderfist

Towering Thunderfist is a common from Gatecrash, seen here in its Ravnica: Clue Edition printing. Does Cluedo not have a logo?

This is a cool little vanilla dude with off-colour ability activation. Part of a common cycle, of course. A good way to seed multicolour without making you HAVE to have both colours. I still got this guy in my giants deck, in fact. They look a lot better when you cast like two of them on turn 6 off a Stinkdrinker Daredevil or two.

[titleleaf]

ficsmells of 2023

(a sequel to the long-bygone ficsmells of 2017)

pete campbell in "santa, buddy": pomade, laundry soap

mozart in "divertimento": wig powder, orange-flower water, sweat, ink

billy hargrove in "somebody's sins but not mine": cigarettes, Drakkar Noir

eddie munson in "we like it louder": sweat, woodsmoke, Old Spice, grime

eddie munson in "give you what you need": sweat, weed, Old Spice, body odor (look at him and tell me i'm wrong)

al shaw in "all the things you boys lie about": sweat, specifically Marlboro cigarettes

vecna tentacle monster in "alive after death": chlorine, semen, rotting meat

daimler in "no language but a cry": rosemary and clove pomatum

julian fromme in "the days of september that rise": swimming pool chlorine, skin/sweat

orson krennic in "the dose makes the poison": sweat, uniform wool, "light and woody" cologne

phil burbank in "coffin tack": this man STINKS + wet wool/leather

bob benson in "(the first time ever) i saw your face": 'Binaca and fine cologne'

henry drax in "the heidelburgh tun": sweat, body odor, wet wool, blood

cirk baufort in "false taste of paradise": sweat, clean cotton tee shirt, semen

father paul hill in "and all the senses rise against": semen, soap, salt, skin, trace cologne

noemí taboada in "lactarius indigo": typewriter ribbons, dusty card catalogs

boris lermontov in "adoration of the earth": carnation, glove leather, hair tonic (spice/herbal notes)

g. joubert in "til every taste is on the tongue": leather, carnation, rosewood, cedar

primo nizzuto in "sticky fingers": bergamot, orange oil

cornelius hickey in "the men will be good, but when?": picked rope, tar

brother matteo in "horologion": wool, wax

dr. stanley in "a progressive vice": camphor

cleopatra in "sykon": myrrh, balsam

james noel holland in "a pathless comet, and a curse": vetiver, neroli

julius caesar in "leopard" and "intempesta nox": calamus, sweet clover, marjoram

stewy hosseini in "the gatecrasher": rosemary, hinoki (I think I had a real cologne or combination of products in mind when I wrote this description but idk which)

stewy hosseini in "buy more stock in roses": cedarwood

marc antony in "nonae" and in "this battalion of lovers": olive oil, herbal water

henry iv in "much ado with red and white": clove-pinks, blood

prince hal in "surfeited with honey": rose, civet

shiv roy in "in the sanatorium": hair serum, expensive shampoo

kendall roy in "in the sanatorium": Tom Ford cologne

henry viii in "serpentello": civet, lavender, bay

samuel masham in "a trick of state": sandalwood, civet

hugo barrett and tony theservant1963 in "close my mouth": Russian birch, leather -- super common fragrance notes for men's fragrance of the era, I might have been thinking Creed Cuir de Russie, for reasons that have everything to do with the comedy value of Creed's pretentious branding

evelyn mulwray in "speak low": 'wet earth and salt water and magnolia flower, like a cloud of perfume staining the wrist of a pair of white leather glove'

colonel ives in "and the burden and the lesson": pomade, bay leaf, clove

noho hank in "yes, and": 'expensive stores at the mall' which 100% means he's wearing a cologne barry doesn't recognize

sal romano in "at last, something beautiful": this dude smells NICE in ways ginsberg cannot articulate

marcus isaacson in "something unreck'd": rose and petitgrain

jay gatsby in "a ruby in the vine": BLOOD AND MONEY

debbie mitford in "soft targets": jasmine, cigarette smoke

[ankoku-teion]

Dude, why are you spending so much time shitting your guts out that you can accidentally gatecrash 2 funerals a day in here?

1) have a little respect

2) go see a doctor.

[sussex-sweetheart]

Ngozi Fulani isn't her real name. Her name is Marlene Headly, she's from the Caribbean - she's not African. She gatecrashed the event, turned up in a costume comprised of clothing items from multiple different African countries and wore a Jamaican flag in her hair.

She couldn't say what part of Africa she originated from because her family aren't from Africa. She turned up like an extra from Black Panther because she wanted to be asked where she was from purely so she could whine about it on Twitter.

If I met a white dude with dreads, a German flag in his hair, a kilt and a Polish name, I'd ask him where he was from. This is exactly what she did; she turned up with multiple different cultural items that didn't belong to any one culture or people, she culturally appropriated traditional items and clothing from a continent she's not culturally part of, and she did it to baffle an 83-year old woman for attention on the internet.

Your source?

By the way, it's not that SH asked where she was from. It's that she insisted on not accepting Britain as the answer. This is not an isolated incident. POC always have to deal with this shit, because people like you don't understand that English is a nationality, not a race, and won't accept that a POC can actually be born in and live their whole lives in England. No one white ever gets quizzed about where their ancestors come from despite already giving an answer. Ever. No one's ever asked me what generation of my family came to Australia and where they were from originally. If you can't understand that's the problem then you're either racist too or just a dumbass.

Here's another example of Maajid Nawaz having to deal with this shit:

[bondsmagii]

Stupidest/ballsiest things you did in high school or uni?

gonna have to split this up into two sections

STUPIDEST:

(high school) went to a house party the night before work and got really drunk and did not stop partying until 6am. work began at 7am. I got 20 minutes of sleep and then had to drag myself into work at a boarding kennels. scraping up dog shite while still drunk/at the beginning of a hangover? not good.

(uni) stapled my essay cover sheet to my essay... through my hoodie sleeve. I was stapled to my essay. I was also very tired and this was the final straw. just stood there for several minutes by the cover sheets and staplers, staring into the middle distance, as people edged around me to get their own cover sheets.

(uni) decided to leave three essays + all their readings (so three books and several supplementary critical analyses for each of them) until 36 hours before their due date, while also completing NaNoWriMo, while also packing to drive 400 miles to meet my then friend now partner irl for the first time. also these two things shared the same timeframe as my essays.

(high school) just straight up stopped going to school for three whole months. I had my reasons but boy howdy was it a close one cleaning up after that mess. the idea that I came very close to having to repeat the entire year... god what was I thinking lmao

(high school) almost ran off with what I'm pretty sure was a legit serial killer in Belfast when I was 16. again I had my reasons I was Goin Thru It™ but also yikes.

(high school) got curious about one of the big celebrations the Other Side held in my Literally In The Middle Of A Civil War country and decided to gatecrash in the full knowledge that these people were going to spend the night burning effigies of people of my culture/religion. word somehow got around that we were the Enemy and I was nearly thrown onto a four-storey high bonfire. kicked a dude in the face and got away, smoked my first cigarette, and then promptly got hit by a train. it was a wild night.

BALLSIEST

(high school) my school was legit one of the worst in the country and we were supposed to have at least a month off as study leave to study for our final exams, but our teachers had all fucked up their time management and were using this as an excuse to keep us at school right into our study leave to teach us shit that they'd already been over and insisted they hadn't. after multiple attempts to point this out I eventually led my class in a full rebellion and basically organised a strike whereupon most of our year simply refused to attend school and, because of the lateness of the year and our vice principal not giving a fuck, we got away with it.

(high school) I don't know if this counts because I didn't realise at the time but I caught a lift back to the city centre from a protest I was attending, and the police were stopping all the protestors and trying to get our names. we bullshitted our way through and then after we drove away from the police I realised the guy next to me was in the IRA (as in the Irish Republican Army, you know, those guys) and he had a full on pistol on him and had been about to start shooting if he had to. if he had, everyone in that car would have been toast. "fuck's sake, man," I said. so maybe it was my reaction that was ballsy. literally my attitude growing up there was "I lived bitch".

(uni) literally just abandoned my abusive family. just. woke up one morning while staying for Christmas and thought "nah, this ain't it", packed my shit, and went to the port. got a boat and didn't look back. fare thee well.

(uni) went on a road trip baby!! lived in my car for a month and a half with @vestriis, travelling up and down the country and exploring abandoned buildings and haunted locations and generally having a good-ass time. still cannot believe that actually happened, after I'd been talking about doing it since I was about 12.

I mean it when I say I'm genuinely surprised I made it through the ages of 14-24 without ending up in prison or getting murdered.

[jinhyun]

okay so oh boy, here I go

I had been following watercolor for a while now, and when I say while I mean WHILE. I even rec it to a friend who wanted to write an smau so she could try and understand it how it goes. So yes, back to the story. Cause I follow you I knew how big of a chap that one was, and boy was I nervous. I'm like HELL involved in it. Saw the chap and realised it was going to be A RIDE. Hyunjin my man was gatecrashing a party, it was either going to go really well or BAD. I realized I needed to be mentally prepared for this one (by the time I prepared myself you've already updated once again) but YES. With bated breath I decided that today was the DAY THAT I'LL DO THIS. and dude it was so gooddddddd. I held my breath for so long I COULD GO FOR THD OLYMPICS AS A SWIMMER. Their first meeting in the kitchen, the tension while playing the games, the 2nd meeting in the kitchen (by which I had already bitten all my nails), the corridor, the bedroom. OH MY GOD. all the tension had me sweatingggggg. if I had a therapist, I would've passed them your number BECAUSE MY THERAPIST WOULD HERE ABOUT THIS. The cuteness, hyunjin being so careful around her, assuring her. IT'S ALL SO FUCKING ADORABLE. It's going amazingggg. We're all like dangerously involved pls don't break our hearts dude❤❤❤

KDÑADKLSDJ not you taking so long to get mentally prepared for it that the next part was already out by the time you did 😭😭 but i'm glad you liked it!!

idek what to answer to all of this, i'm just sososo happy that you seemed to enjoy the written part and all the tension and fluff that came with it 😭

hopefully there is no more heartbreak from now on<3

[leomlarson]

Leo's head cocked to the side a bit as his eyebrows furrowed in bemusement at the woman now across from him. He hadn't missed the fact that she seemed relieved and still appeared to be coming down from a panic. However, Leo wasn't one to rain on anyone else's parade or mess up their shenanigans, so he decided to let it go. He had better things to do than interrogate this woman — namely, smoking the joint in his hand.

He lit it as he shrugged as if to say 'that's fair,' at her explanation. "Dude, I think I know that guy. Told me that I seemed like an asshole first time he met me at a party. I don't wanna toot my own horn or anything, but I try really hard not to be an asshole."

"Are you, like, gatecrashing or something?" Leo asked, looking her up and down with amusement. Okay, so maybe he'd interrogate a little, now that he had a little weed in his system. It was just pure curiosity, honestly. He held up his hands. "No judgment from me if you are, none at all. I might've just picked a less lame party to crash."

Lorelai had found it surprisingly easy to sneak into her neighbours party, finding the door unlocked and people overspilling into the hallway outside of their apartment had granted her the access she thought she was going to have to bribe her way into—Darla from Apartment 36 was notoriously selective of who she invited to her parties and surprisingly Lorelai hadn’t made the guest list.

It might have something to do with their feud over stolen mail, but Lorelai wasn’t going to let something as trivial as not getting an invite stop her from gatecrashing and rifling through Darla’s belongings in search of her missing Fashion Nova order.

She’d almost made it to what she suspected would be the door to Darla’s bedroom when she heard the familiar whine of her Australian accent and made a beeline for the porch, quickly closing the sliding door behind her and stepping up to the railing to consider if he could survive jumping—she couldn’t, Darla’s apartment was on the twelfth floor.

Panic lanced through her body as the sliding door was pulled open and somebody stepped outside. Lorelai winced, steeling herself for Darla’s accusations but instead all she heard was a question, and not the accusatory kind she had expected. “Be my guest,” Lorelai said with a sigh of relief, wiping a bead of sweat from her brow before gesturing for the blonde to light up. “It makes no difference to me.”

“I’ll pass on the hit though, I’ve learned my lesson accepting a joint from strangers. The last guy tried to psychoanalyse me and got his ego hurt when he didn’t quite stick the landing.”

[tomwambsmilk]

TomKen R+J AU

👀👀👀👀

Ooh, this is another one I have to thank @tomwambsgoose for. It's an almost scene-for-scene retelling of Romeo and Juliet, inspired by the Baz Luhrmann movie. Except, it's set in the modern day, and instead of Capulets and Montagues it's Waystar Royco and Maesbury Capital. Logan runs Waystar, with the plan being for Kendall (Juliet) to succeed him, and also he really wants Kendall to get married, ideally to Matsson (Paris) because it would strengthen the alliance between Waystar and GoJo. Tom (Romeo) works for Maesbury Capital, as does Shiv (Benvolio) and Roman (Mercutio); they decide to gatecrash the Waystar Christmas costume party. (Shiv and Roman are still Roy siblings - their going to work for Maesbury has caused a significant rift in the family). Tom and Kendall meet and fall madly in love, before discovering that they each work for the rival companies. Kendall confides in Connor (the nurse), and they all start conspiring to get them together; Tom goes to his friend Greg, who is a priest who runs a side business selling weed (Friar Laurence), and asks for his help. Greg marries them in secret, but on the way back from the wedding, there's an altercation in the street. Roman and Stewy (Tybalt) are killed, and Tom is forced to flee. Logan tells Kendall that he has to marry Matsson. Greg comes up with The Plan, where Kendall's going to fake his death; he goes to email Tom but there's a massive blackout in the power grid and he isn't able to get ahold of him. Tom shows up at the grave, kills Matsson, thinks Kendall is dead, poisons himself, and then Kendall wakes up and stabs himself. The tragedy of this finally heals the rift between Waystar and Maesbury, as well as the rift in the Roy family.

Snippet below the readmore of Kendall and Tom meeting at the party (this one is very much a first draft snippet, so if this gets posted it might look a little different in the end, lol):

It's bold, he knows it's bold - bolder than he'd usually be - but he can't help but take the hand of the man standing in front of him. Maybe it's the masks, and the fact that he can't see the man's face, or maybe it's the pre-party drinks in his system, or maybe -

... Could it be? Could it be that fleeting thing he's always chasing, that elusive joy?

Is it love?

The man looks at him, expectantly. Curiously. The two of them are frozen there, and suddenly Tom feels pressure to say something, anything, crash down over him.

"Your hand-" His voice comes out raspy. He clears his throat and tries again. "Your hand... is - like a temple."

The man blinks. "...What?"

"Um." Tom laughs, nervously. It does not break the tension. "I just - it's like a temple, because, well, I- my hands are not worthy to, uh, to visit." He finishes weakly, realizing that this might be the single worst pickup line he's ever come up with. That anyone's ever come up with.

The man blinks, and says nothing. But - he doesn't take his hand away, and Tom summons one last wave of courage to try again.

"But, you know, if you're offended..." He chokes a little on the line, and then blurts out: "My lips are right here."

It's at this point that the man starts laughing, wheezing laughs. Tom tries to snatch his hand away, tries to apologize and flee, but before he can, the man says:

"Well, dude, if you want my honest opinion, I think you're selling your hands kind of short. Besides, I've never been to a temple but, uh, I've been to cathedrals, and pilgrims touch the hands of statues all the time." He strokes the back of Tom's hand with his thumb, and then shifts, so it's no longer Tom taking his hand but the two of them holding hands, palm to palm, and Tom feels his breath hitch.

"Oh," he says, and then tries to cover for the moment of softness - "What, do they not have any lips to kiss with?"

"They have lips to pray with." An eyebrow quirks up behind the mask.

"Well," says Tom, as his heart pounds and he feels like his blood is on fire, "Maybe we should let our lips do what hands do. You know, so they can join the prayer."

The man squeezes his hand. There's a pause. Then: "What are you praying for?"

It's a moment that feels so unbelievably sublime, it's almost unreal. For a split second, his awareness of the party around him falls away, and it's just him and this man and the desire building rapidly in his chest.

"I'll show you," he says, and leans down to kiss him.

[danny--anderson]

closed: @acedunsmore​ location: idle spirits & wine

-

They had started off at Restricted Access, that much Danny could remember. But now, his blue eyes were settled on a group of unfamiliar faces and their ramblings made absolutely no sense to him. He remained still at the back of the small crowd next to Ace, wondering if the other male had any idea what they were doing here. He could vaguely remember talking to a guy...and an Uber ride but nothing was jumping out at him. “Dude, what the fuck is going on?” he whispered to Ace quietly, a few people turning to look at them which made him quickly smile and nod. “Did we just gatecrash these rich assholes?”

[botherkupo]

catouflage (marichat oneshot)

here’s my piece for @kittylovezine vol. 2. which i hope you’ll enjoy. Check out the other fics and art, too! some really amazing stuff!

summary: In which Chat Noir takes up gatecrashing, someone needs to call the fashion police, and marichat are the new couple goals. (aka, marichat at the beach 2: electric boogaloo)

-

Marinette dug her toes into the sand, wriggling them deeper to feel the warmth of the sun-kissed beach. She propped her chin on her knees. One hand played with a shell, tracing the swirls of patterns and the curved spiral. Her expression could only be described as glum.  

“Marinette!”

Chat Noir bounded over. She took one look at him and blinked. Her cheeks puffed out, laughter spilling free of her lips.

“What are you wearing?” she asked.

He struck a pose, placing one hand behind his head and the other on his hip. “My catouflage. I’m blending in.”

“You call that blending?”

He had a ridiculous floppy hat on his head, the kind with the flap that covered the whole back of the neck. Giant sunglasses hid his cat-green eyes. Then there were the boardshorts and a green, pineapple-printed Hawaiian shirt he had pulled over his suit. It was the ugliest combination she had seen.

“My eyes hurt just looking at you,” she said, pulling a face.

“It’s called fashion.”

“More like call the fashion police.”

His teeth flashed in a grin and he plopped down next to her under the umbrella. “Anyway, why are you hiding over here by yourself?”

She stiffened. “I’m not hiding.”

“You haven’t joined in with us either.” Concern tinged his voice. “Is everything okay?”

She lowered her gaze. “Just a bit disappointed, I guess.”

“Why?”

“Because … Adrien …”

“Adrien?” He sat up straighter. “What about him?”

She picked up a handful of sand and let it slip through her fingers. “He was so excited about coming to the beach. Plus, we hardly get to see him outside of school. I just … it would have been nice to spend more time with him.”

He placed his hand on her shoulder. “You’re a good friend, Marinette. I’m sure he’d be happy if he knew you were thinking of him.”

Fresh colour dusted her cheeks and she tugged at one of her pigtails. “You think so?”

“Most definitely.”

She smiled, wide and bright.

“Dudes!” Nino called, waving at them. “Over here! We’re gonna play beach volleyball, and you’re both on my team!”

Chat Noir grinned at her. “You ready to kick some butt?”

She accepted his proffered hand. “Of course.”

oOo

The volleyball game had barely started before Chat Noir’s claw popped the inflatable ball.

“Oops,” Chat said.

Kim and Alix glanced at the deflated ball and then at him. It was like all the stages of grief passed over their faces. Chat Noir shrunk into his shoulders like a turtle trying to escape into a shell.

“I can buy a new one?” he offered.

Kim and Alix just stared at him. Grief time had passed, and now there was only murder in their eyes.

“Ah,” Marinette said, grabbing Chat’s arm. “How about we go see if we can find a replacement ball? I’m sure I saw a shop …”

She tugged him away.

“Do you think they’re really mad?” he asked, shoulders still hunched.

“Oh yeah. They had a big bet going on. I think it’s best you steer clear of them for a while.”

Chat Noir gulped. “Gotcha.”

oOo

They did manage to find a ball in the end. Chat Noir didn’t want to risk ruining their game again, so he opted out. Marinette offered to keep him company. That was how they ended up building a sandcastle together farther from the group.

It was kind of adorable watching Chat Noir. He was like a little kid who had been let loose after months of convalescing and being cooped inside. His smile was pure sunshine. His laugh was a frequent, joyful sound, and he took great delight in collecting shells for their castle.

“We need a moat!” he exclaimed. “Oh, oh, and a drawbridge and—”

A tiny giggle escaped her.

“What?” he said, tilting his head.

“Nothing. I just never expected you to get this excited over making a sandcastle.”

Pink spilled out from under his mask. He scratched the base of his neck and looked the other way. “Is it really so weird?”

“No …”

“Why do I feel like you’re just saying that to make me feel better?”

“No, no, I swear I didn’t mean it as a bad thing.” She smiled and shrugged. “It’s actually kind of cute.”

His nose scrunched. “I would have preferred cool, amazing and debonair, but I guess I can take cute.”

She snorted. “You really think anyone is going to be calling you cool and debonair in that outfit?”

“Stop hating on my catouflage.”

“It’s horrible, and you know it.” She snatched the floppy hat from his head, letting his cat ears spring free. “Where did you even find this thing?”

“Second-hand store.”

“Of course. And of course you would choose this out of all the hats on display.”

“Hey, if you’re gonna gatecrash someone’s beach party, might as well make a statement while you do it.”

She laughed, shaking her head. He was so silly sometimes.

He took the hat from her hands and placed it on her head.

“Hey! Don’t put that thing on me!”

“C’mon, Marinette, it looks great on you!”

“Noooo!”

They had a brief, playful struggle as she tried to get the hat off and he tried to keep it on. Of course he wasn’t using even a fraction of the strength the miraculous gave him. He would have won in a second.

“Fine,” she declared dramatically, holding her arms out in surrender. “Do your worst, Chat Noir.”

He grinned and dressed her up in the awful hat, sunglasses and Hawaiian shirt. Then they took selfies on her phone, taking turns with the hat or glasses, and pulling silly faces. At one point, he had his arms wrapped around her from behind. He wore the ugly hat and rested his chin on her head. She had the glasses low on her nose and the Hawaiian shirt open over her bikini. Both of them were pulling exaggerated, sultry expressions.

“Chat Noir! Chat Noir!”

A swarm of fans converged, pressing in close.

“Is that your girlfriend?”

“Can I get a picture of you two?”

“Ahhh, look how cute they look! Couple goals!”

Chat Noir’s hand moved to cradle her face into his chest, hiding her from view so the fans couldn’t get any closeup photos of her. “Sorry,” he said. “No photos today.”

There was a chorus of awws before, after a few more polite rebuffs from Chat Noir, the fans reluctantly moved on.

He let her go immediately, his expression sheepish. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” she said with a shrug, though her cheeks were frustratingly hot. “It’s not the first time I’ve been mistaken for a famous person’s girlfriend.”

For some reason, he winced. “Right. Sorry.”

Awkward silence settled between them. His shoulders were still slumped, giving him the appearance of a drooping, withered flower. Had the fans bothered him that much? Or was he worried that he had ruined her beach trip?

She nudged his arm with her shoulder. “Hey, wanna finish the sandcastle?”

The light returned to his eyes, and he shot up with a grin. “Yes!”

They knelt beside each other and dug their fingers into the sand to create the moat. The bridge was trickier, but they managed to find some sticks to give the illusion of a drawbridge.

“Marinette,” he said once it was finished, his tone as reverent as if he were a father seeing his newborn baby for the first time. “Look at it. It’s beautiful.”

She laughed. “It’s not bad.”

“We have to give it a name.”

“Huh?”

“A name! This is our creation!”

She shook her head, giggling. “Fine, fine. What shall we call our castle?”

He made a humming sound and tapped his chin. “How about … Chat Dupain-Cheng Castle?”

“Come again?”

“What? I think it has a nice ring.”

Her cheeks warmed. “Umm, it’s just … it kinda sounds like … you’re married to me.”

“Oh.” A blush spread all over his face where the mask didn’t cover. “Right.”

Another awkward pause.

“What about Sandybridge Castle?” she suggested.

“Sounds great.”

“Great.”

He held out his fist. She bumped it with hers. Neither met the other’s gaze.

oOo

It was time to pack up and head to the train station. Marinette rummaged around the wet, sandy towels, hunting for the sunblock she had misplaced.

“Here,” Chat Noir said, holding it out to her. “It somehow got in Rose’s bag.”

“Thanks.”

She finished packing her bag and zipped it up. Chat stayed by her, fidgeting with his glove.

“Um, Marinette?” he said.

“Yeah?”

“I just wanted to thank you.”

Her brow creased and she stood up. “For what?”

“I haven’t been able to go to the beach for a long time, and you really made it fun for me today. So thanks.”

He pulled her into a hug, unexpected and warm. She froze in surprise before relaxing into his arms. The softest of smiles curved her lips.

“Anytime, Chat.”

[semper-legens]

19. Leif and Thorn vol 4: Blazing Stars, by Erin Ptah

Owned: Yes Page count: 185 My summary: It’s time for the Kolpovision Song Contest! With a night of glitz, sparkle, and singing, how can anything go wrong? Off-duty knight Thorn certainly hopes nothing bad’s going to happen, as he has two sensitive guests - Leif, his pseudo-boyfriend currently indentured to the Embassy Thorn works for, and Kale, an ex-dark magical boy hiding his former identity. Thorn’s screened the party for gatecrashers, but one might just slip through the net... My rating: 5/5

More Leif and Thorn! It’s one of my favourite webcomics, as I’ve previously mentioned, and obviously I’ve been jumping at the chance to have print versions of the comic as they come out. This volume contains the Kolpovision Song Contest arc as well as a lot of the smaller arcs around that, where shit gets real dramatic, real fast. Not to imply that things aren’t dramatic before or after, but the Kolpovision arc (which I read live as it came out!) really represents a high quotient of Holy Shit content. So, on with the post!

Thorn continues to be a great character. He’s almost the eternal straight man (ironically), just a decent dude who’s nice to people and tries his best to be a good person, and those characters can sometimes fall flat or be boring. Thorn is not boring! Thorn is an engaging viewpoint character - he has his own biases, he’s not perfect, but he’s trying his best. He defends his sister’s family from overbearing relatives, he puts his job at risk to help free Leif’s friend from indentured servitude, and he protects Kale because he sees the good in him despite all that he has done. He’s not perfect, nor is he above emotional attachments or outbursts, but god damn it he’s trying his best. And I love him for that.

Kale is largely in focus throughout this volume and, hoo boy, Kale. His former identity is Kudzu Carvi, a dark magical boy who controlled people’s minds and killed on a massive scale. And we learn why that happened - he was manipulated and brainwashed into believing he was doing right, believing his actions were for the best, and when that all came tumbling down he lashed out at the people he perceived as being at fault, as well as a lot of bystanders. The narrative never really seeks to exonerate him for what he did. He has a lot of blood on his hands, he did a lot of harm, and many people are right in being angry at him. But the real situation is a lot more complicated than ‘evil magic boy kills a lot of people’; Kale himself is suffering a lot of trauma and pain both from his actions and his upbringing. Does that justify trying to murder him with a knife? Maybe! Which is why the character who does it is still somewhat sympathetic, but the act itself is still horrifying and impactful. Poor Kale. I just want to wrap him up in blankets and protect him forever.

On a lighter note, Kolpovision is a wonderful invention. It’s Eurovision! But fantasy! Reading Ptah’s notes in between the comic panels about how she would come up with a ridiculous idea that could be only done in a fantasy world, and then found out that Eurovision itself managed to top it. She really captures the spirit of Eurovision, too - despite the fact that the song contest itself isn’t foregrounded, it’s still recognisably Eurovision, which is commendable for an American author. Like Leachtric before it, the Kolpovision Song Contest is also an interesting bit of worldbuilding, adding depth and flavour to the world while loosely referencing a real-life concept so the reader can understand immediately. Wonderfully done, and I appreciate it so much.

Next up, some more and better private eye action, as we deal with 1930s Chicago...and the Fae?

[improvidence318]

i said screw it so here it is

howdy howdy, this is the anon with the 20’s lingo sheet. i don’t have a tumblr (though i wish i do tbh) and realized that i don’t know how to work shit on tumblr, so i’m just sending in the sheet through a text post. i am highly aware of the amount of power i’m bestowing upon you and honestly couldn’t give a damn

A

ab-so-lute-ly: affirmative all wet: incorrect And how!: I strongly agree! ankle: to walk, i.e.. “Let’s ankle!” apple sauce: flattery, nonsense, i.e.. “Aw, applesauce!” Attaboy!: well done!; also, Attagirl!

B

baby: sweetheart. Also denotes something of high value or respect. baby grand: heavily built man baby vamp: an attractive or popular female, student. balled up: confused, messed up. baloney: Nonsense! Bank’s closed.: no kissing or making out ie. “Sorry, mac, bank’s closed.” bearcat: a hot-blooded or fiery girl beat it: scram, get lost. beat one’s gums: idle chatter bee’s knee’s: terrific; a fad expression. Dozens of “animal anatomy” variations existed: elephant’s eyebrows, gnat’s whistle, eel’s hips, etc. beef: a complaint or to complain. beeswax: business, i.e. “None of your beeswax.” Student. bell bottom: a sailor bent: drunk berries: (1) perfect (2) money big cheese: important person big six: a strong man; from auto advertising, for the new and powerful six cylinder engines. bimbo: a tough guy bird: general term for a man or woman, sometimes meaning “odd,” i.e. “What a funny old bird.” blotto (1930 at the latest): drunk, especially to an extreme bootleg: illeagal liquor breezer (1925): a convertable car bug-eyed Betty (1927): an unattractive girl, student. bull: (1) a policeman or law-enforcement official, including FBI. (2) nonesense (3) to chat idly, to exaggerate bump off: to kill bum’s rush, the: ejection by force from an establishment bunny (1925): a term of endearment applied to the lost, confused, etc. Often coupled with “poor little.” bus: any old or worn out car.

C

cake-eater: a lady’s man caper: a criminal act or robbery. cat’s meow: great, also “cat’s pajamas” and “cat’s whiskers” cash: a kiss Cash or check?: Do we kiss now or later? cast a kitten: to have a fit. Used in both humorous and serious situations. i.e. “Stop tickling me or I’ll cast a kitten!” Also, “have kittens.” cheaters: eye glasses check: Kiss me later. chewing gum: double-speak, or ambiguous talk. choice bit of calico: attractive female, student. chopper: a Thompson Sub-Machine Gun, due to the damage its heavy .45 caliber rounds did to the human body.  chunk of lead: an unnattractive female, student. clam: a dollar coffin varnish: bootleg liquor, often poisonous. copacetic: excellent crasher: a person who attends a party uninvited crush: infatuation cuddler: one who likes to make out

D

daddy: a young woman’s boyfriend or lover, especially if he’s rich. daddy-o: a term of address dame: a female. Did not gain widespread use until the 1930’s. dapper: a Flapper’s dad darb: a great person or thing. “That movie was darb.” dead soldier: an empty beer bottle. deb: a debutant. dewdropper: a young man who sleeps all day and doesn’t have a job. dogs: feet doll: an attractive woman. dolled up: dressed up don’t know from nothing: doesn’t have any information don’t take any wooden nickels: don’t do anything stupid. doublecross: to cheat, stab in the back. dough: money drugstore cowboy: A well-dressed man who loiters in public areas trying to pick up women. dry up: shut up, get lost ducky: very good dumb Dora: an absolute idiot, a dumbbell, especially a woman; flapper.

E

earful: enough egg: a person who lives the big life

F

face stretcher: an old woman trying to look young fella: fellow. As common in its day as “man,” “dude,” or “guy” is today. “That John sure is a swell fella.” fire extinguisher: a chaperone fish: (1) a college freshman (2) a first timer in prison flat tire: a bore flivver: a Model T; after 1928, also could mean any broken down car. floorflusher: an insatiable dancer flour lover: a girl with too much face powder fly boy: a glamorous term for an aviator For crying out loud!: same usage as today four-flusher: a person who feigns wealth while mooching off others.

G

gams (1930): legs gatecrasher: see “crasher” get-up (1930): an outfit. get a wiggle on: get a move on, get going get in a lather: get worked up, angry giggle water: booze gimp: cripple; one who walks with a limp.  Gangster Dion O’Bannion was called Gimpy due to his noticeable limp. gin mill: a seller of hard liquor; a cheap speakeasy glad rags: “going out on the town” clothes go chase yourself: get lost, scram. gold-digger (1925): a woman who pursues men for their money. goods, the: (1) the right material, or a person who has it (2) the facts, the truth, i.e. “Make sure the cops don’t get the goods on you.” goof: (1) a stupid or bumbling person, (2) a boyfriend, flapper. goofy: in love grummy: depressed grungy: envious

H

handcuff: engagement ring hard-boiled: tough, as in, a tough guy, ie: “he sure is hard-boiled!” hayburner: (1) a gas guzzling car (2) a horse one loses money on heavy sugar (1929): a lot of money heebie-jeebies (1926): “the shakes,” named after a hit song. heeler: a poor dancer high hat: a snob. hip to the jive: cool, trendy hit on all sixes: to perform 100 per cent; as “hitting on all six cylinders”; perhaps a more common variation in these days of four cylinder engines was “hit on all fours”.  See “big six”. hood (late 20s): hoodlum hooey:  nonsense. Very popular from 1925 to 1930, used somewhat thereafter. hop: a teen party or dance Hot dawg!: Great!; also: “Hot socks!"  Rarely spelled as shown outside of flapper circles until popularized by 1940s comic strips. hot sketch: a card or cut-up

I

"I have to go see a man about a dog.”: “I’ve got to leave now,” often meaning to go buy whiskey. icy mitt: rejection insured: engaged iron (1925): a motorcycle, among motorcycle enthusiasts iron one’s shoelaces: to go to the restroom ish kabibble (1925): a retort meaning “I should care."  Was the name of a musician in the Kay Kayser Orchestra of the 1930s.

J

jack: money Jake: great, ie. "Everything’s Jake.” Jalopy: a dumpy old car Jane: any female java: coffee jeepers creepers: a term of exclamation jitney: a car employed as a private bus. Fare was usually five-cents; also called a “nickel.” joe: coffee Joe Brooks: a perfectly dressed person; student. john: a toilet joint: establishment juice joint: a speakeasy

K

kale: money keen: appealing killjoy: a solemn person knock up: to make pregnant know one’s onions: to know one’s business or what one is talking about

L

lay off: cut the crap left holding the bag: (1) to be cheated out of one’s fair share (2) to be blamed for something let George do it: a work evading phrase level with me: be honest limey: a British soldier or citizen, from World War I line: a false story, as in “to feed one a line.” live wire: a lively person lollapalooza (1930): a humdinger lollygagger: (1) a young man who enjoys making out (2) an idle person

M

manacle: wedding ring mazuma: money milquetoast (1924): a very timid person; from the comic book character Casper mind your potatoes: mind your own business. mooch: to leave moonshine: homemade whiskey mop: a handkerchief munitions: face powder

N

neck: to kiss passionately necker: a girl who wraps her arms around her boyfriend’s neck. nifty: great, excellent noodle juice: tea Not so good!: I personally disapprove. “Now you’re on the trolley!”: Now you’ve got it, now you’re right.

O

off one’s nuts: crazy Oh yeah!: I doubt it! old boy: a male term of address, used in conversation with other males. Denoted acceptance in a social environment.  Also “old man” “old fruit.” “How’s everything old boy?” Oliver Twist: a skilled dancer on a toot: a drinking binge on the lam: fleeing from police on the level: legitimate, honest on the up and up: on the level orchid: an expensive item ossified: drunk owl: a person who’s out late

P

palooka: (1) a below-average or average boxer (2) a social outsider, from the comic strip character Joe Palooka, who came from humble ethnic roots panic: to produce a big reaction from one’s audience percolate: (1) to boil over (2) As of 1925, to run smoothly; “perk” pet: necking, only more; making out petting pantry: movie theater piffle: baloney piker: (1) a cheapskate (2) a coward pill: (1) a teacher (2) an unlikable person pinch: to arrest. Pinched: to be arrested. pinko: liberal pipe down: stop talking prom-trotter: a student who attends all school social functions pos-i-lute-ly: affirmative, also “pos-i-tive-ly” punch the bag: small talk putting on the ritz: after the Ritz Hotel in Paris (and its namesake Caesar Ritz); doing something in high style. Also “ritzy.”

Q

R

rag-a-muffin: a dirty or disheveled individual rain pitchforks: a downpour razz: to make fun of Real McCoy: a genuine item regular: normal, typical, average; “Regular fella.” Reuben: an unsophisticated country bumpkin. Also “rube” Rhatz!: How disappointing! rub: a student dance party rubes: money or dollars rummy: a drunken bum

S

sap: a fool, an idiot. Very common term in the 20s. says you: a reaction of disbelief scratch: money screaming meemies: the shakes screw: get lost, get out, etc. Occasionally, in pre 1930 talkies (such as The Broadway Melody) screw is used to tell a character to leave. One film features the line “Go on, go on – screw!"  screwy: crazy; "You’re screwy!” sheba: one’s girlfriend sheik: one’s boyfriend simolean: a dollar sinker: a doughnut sitting pretty: in a prime position skirt: an attractive female smarty: a cute flapper smudger: a close dancer sockdollager: an action having a great impact so’s your old man: a reply of irritation speakeasy: a bar selling illeagal liquor spill: to talk spoon: to neck, or at least talk of love static: (1) empty talk (2) conflicting opinion stilts: legs struggle: modern dance stuck on: in love, student. sugar daddy: older boyfriend who showers girlfriend with gifts swanky: (1) good (2) elegant swell: (1) good (2) a high class person

T

take someone for a ride: to take someone to a deserted location and murder them. tasty: appealing teenager: not a common term until 1930; before then, the term was “young adults.” tell it to Sweeney: tell it to someone who’ll believe it. tight: attractive Tin Pan Alley: the music industry in New York, located between 48th and 52nd Streets tomato: a “ripe” female torpedo: a hired thug or hitman

U

unreal: special upchuck: to vomit upstage: snobby

V

vamp: (1) a seducer of men, an aggressive flirt (2) to seduce voot: money

W

water-proof: a face that doesn’t require make-up wet blanket: see Killjoy wife: dorm roomate, student. What’s eating you?: What’s wrong? whoopee: wild fun Woof! Woof!: ridicule

X

Y

You slay me!: That’s funny!

Z

zozzled: drunk

  have fun.

[portpromise]

meanwhile, the house full of sexy green dudes went ahead with the party val was meant to be attending. notorious friend of the family dara pelly was there to confuse bliss and anger all these handsome men

BLISS: hey, didn’t you gatecrash my parents’ wedding?