#gary is secretly hot

[siilvan]

physical touch

characters: kyle “gaz” garrick, johnny “soap” mactavish, john price, simon “ghost” riley, gary “roach” sanderson, yuri

summary: physical touch/affection headcanons!

genre: fluff, gn!reader (no desc. or pronouns)

warnings: none!

note: figured i’d start with something basic sweet after not writing in so long :) my next drafts are both soap – reboot and captain <3

gaz

⋆ so very touchy. even before you’re officially together, he’s always finding excuses to touch you.

⋆ comparing hand sizes, high-fives, patting you on the shoulder, playing with your fingers, nudging you with his leg, holding your waist while sliding past–

⋆ there’s nothing gaz won’t do to touch you, even if it’s just brushing your fingertips.

⋆ it gets even worse once you start dating. he is on you constantly. holding your hand, wrapping an arm around you, kissing you - he’s like a teenage boy in love!

⋆ shockingly, this side of him completely disappears when you’re in the field; he’s very cautious when it comes to affection, so as to avoid putting targets on your backs.

⋆ proud back/shoulder pats, friendly fist bumps, shoulders brushing past each other, nondescript praise, and barely visible smiles–

⋆ gaz utterly adores you, but only when your threats are complaints from the rest of the team.

⋆ a big enjoyer of cuddles, obviously. big spoon, little spoon, in bed, on the couch… he doesn’t care about the details, as long as he gets to be with you.

⋆ secretly so very weak for you sleeping on his chest. he just loves that feeling of protecting you and you trusting him to keep you safe.

soap

⋆ another touchy sergeant! i’m starting to sense a trend.

⋆ much like gaz, soap was touchy before you started dating. except, he wasn’t looking for excuses to touch you - he just went for it every single time.

⋆ bumping your foot with his, patting your shoulder, hugging you after long periods away from each other… soap had a reputation as a touchy guy, and with you he was no different.

⋆ in fact, he was even worse with you. soap was oblivious to his painfully obvious crush until someone pointed out his habit of touching you.

⋆ back hugs are a very common occurrence with him. also favors being the big spoon for the very same reason. "you’re like a teddy bear," he always claims when you point it out.

⋆ in the field, soap treats you no differently than the rest of the team. a few more compliments and brief touches here and there, but he’s capable of saving the pda for secure locations.

⋆ despite his reputation as a physically affectionate guy, he still gets a little embarrassed when someone calls him out for it!

⋆ turns red and tries to come up with an explanation every single time without fail. also never succeeds at said explanation, and ends up making himself even more embarrassed.

⋆ if it’s ghost calling him out, though… soap doesn’t get flustered over it. he simply does whatever he’s doing, but even more. prepare to be squeezed half to death if ghost ever catches you two.

price

⋆ his private and professional lives are like night and day.

⋆ at home and in private, price is quite the romantic. kissing your hands, wrapping his arms around your waist, laying his head on your shoulder - his goal is to make you melt from his affection.

⋆ at work, however… unless you two are completely alone, you’ll be getting the same treatment as the rest of the team.

⋆ it’s not that he doesn’t want to show you off. price is just a very private man, and for good reason. he’s got quite the list of enemies, many of whom would target you if they caught wind of you.

⋆ that being said, he more than makes up for it at home - he won’t let you end up neglected and starved for affection. the generous helping of praise that he casually gives you shows his love, as well.

⋆ when it comes to cuddling, it’s a moment-to-moment thing. price enjoys holding you and being held, but he’s a human furnace, so cuddles in hot weather are a no-go. he’ll still hold your hand or interlock your pinkies if you want him too, though.

⋆ usually is the big spoon. he needs to be free to act if something goes wrong, and free to protect you.

⋆ still, he turns into putty whenever he’s able to lay with his head on your chest. your fingers gently playing with his hair, listening to your heartbeat, with your warmth lulling him to sleep–

⋆ he’s got a tough exterior, but he’s really just a big softie that can seldom tell you "no."

ghost

⋆ it takes him quite some time to be open to physical affection, even after you’re officially a couple.

⋆ it’s not that he doesn’t want to be physically affectionate, ghost just struggles greatly with letting down his guard. patience and understanding is all he needs to start opening up.

⋆ definitely against pda of any kind. if you try to sneakily kiss him while around the team, he’ll gently remind you not to the next time you’re alone. he’s never unkind, just firmly set in his boundaries.

⋆ would probably be open to small acts once you’ve been together for a while - resting his hand atop yours, nudging your knee with his own, holding your shoulder, resting his arm on the back of your chair.

⋆ ghost is secretly starved for affection, so every little touch is significant to him. you can make his heart race just by brushing his arm with your fingertips.

⋆ at home, he’s extremely clingy. trying to leave bed? not happening, you’ve got a 6'3" teddy bear grabbing your shirt and dragging you back under the covers. morning cuddles are one of his favorite things, even if he’d die before admitting to it.

⋆ dozing off with his head on your shoulder while you cook, pulling you into his lap during movies, kissing you before he leaves and after he returns…

⋆ big or little spoon depending on his mood. much like price, ghost is constantly ready to act, even at home. however, he is so desperate for comfort and just needs to he held sometimes.

⋆ if you let him lay his head on your lap or chest, the ghost persona completely melts away. play with his hair, trace your fingertips along his jawline, leave sweet kisses wherever you can, and the "scary" man suddenly becomes softer than silk.

roach

⋆ decently physically affectionate, but doesn’t make a big deal out of it.

⋆ roach is all about the smaller, more casual acts of affection. forehead kisses, hugs, sitting next to each other, holding hands– he’s all about the moments that people would consider less significant.

⋆ still, there is one thing that never fails to make his heart flutter: when you kiss him through his mask.

⋆ whether it’s a peck on the cheek or your lips against his, if you kiss his mask, he’ll turn into a stuttering mess. he hopes you can’t somehow see the blush practically burning holes through the fabric.

⋆ proud little spoon! no matter where you are, roach will gladly fall asleep wrapped up in your arms. his favorite way to nap is with his head on your lap - if you try to move, you’ll end up with a very whiny and clingy sergeant.

⋆ has a habit of falling asleep on you after particularly draining missions. it’s not his fault, really; the rumble of the helicopter’s engine, the adrenaline wearing off, and your presence are a deadly trio.

⋆ if you fall asleep, too, he won’t wake you up. unless you need medical attention or something important, he’ll just carry you back to your room and tuck you into bed. usually joins you, as well.

⋆ these mid-flight naps also happened before you two got together. roach has an entire album on his phone of photos (mostly taken by soap) of you two cuddling after missions.

⋆ finally decided to ask you out after the album reached 100 photos. the rest of the team knew it would happen eventually.

yuri

⋆ much like ghost, it took yuri quite some time to open up to physical affection.

⋆ in fact, he wouldn’t open up to affection at first. even when it could reasonably be seen as platonic and nothing more. he didn’t think he deserved it, be it from friend or lover.

⋆ you finally got him to crack one day, after a tough mission that ended in quite a few (minor) injuries. his back was killing him, so you offered him a massage. despite his reservations, he accepted it.

⋆ yuri didn’t expect to completely melt at your touch. by the end of the massage, his tense muscles were relaxed and he was hungry for more. touch-starved doesn’t even begin to describe how he felt.

⋆ at the beginning of your relationship, he struggled to give and accept affection. it takes a lot of patience and love to build up his confidence, but it’s well worth the effort once he finally starts to reciprocate.

⋆ big fan of back hugs, both in giving and receiving. to him, there’s just something so intimate in holding your partner while they work.

⋆ has a few habits once he’s comfortable in your relationship - interlocking your fingers, resting his hands on your lower back and hips, kissing your forehead… he’d never admit to it publicly, but he’s quite the romantic.

⋆ usually favors being the big spoon whenever you two cuddle. yuri is reasonably paranoid about your safety and his own, so he prefers to be free to move if necessary. knowing that you’re safe in his arms helps him sleep easier, as well.

⋆ that being said, he will fall asleep on your chest if given the chance. the sound of your heartbeat and your fingertips running up and down his back never fails to put him to sleep.

[germhammy]

“Saturday day at Pilgrim World”

Enid: kinda seems creepy going to a closed theme park

Wednesday: well, filming isn’t until later tonight so cast members are doing some rehearsals that aren’t involved in catering for the film crew

Lucas ran up to them

Lucas: hey, yo! Wednesday are you here for the rehearsals or the filming?

Wednesday: both. Bianca asked me to come in and give some pointers to Gary. From what I’ve seen he’s doing a great job. My mother will be arriving later.

Lucas: -chuckling- oh yeah. He and Candace have been working together. I can’t wait for them to go full time after the filming

As they got to the entrance someone called out

Xavier: hey, Wednesday! That was mean throwing me out the other night

Wednesday: -sighing- why will you not leave me alone? As for last night? Mr Johnson overstepped by coming to the set on the first day let alone bringing you

Xavier: are they filming now? Where’s your mother? Don’t you need her?

Wednesday: Mr Burton understands that I am only 17. But not so much for the others as was more than evident at our hot sauce tasting with Mr Johnson trying to mention his tequila. My mother will be arriving later. Right now I am just going into Pilgrim World

Xavier: you and Harley had some nerve calling his tequila bland

Wednesday: it is not good tequila. Mid at best. Not at all the premium he claims it to be.

Lucas: we have stuff to do.

Xavier: Pilgrim World is closed

Lucas: and? My mother runs it. And Wednesday is on the management staff. I’m not objecting to her bringing Enid in

Xavier: let me in too!

Wednesday: no. I’m not here to have fun. I’m here for official business

Xavier: -laughing- yeah right. Official business. Then why is Enid going in?

Lucas: oh she’s not getting a free ride. We may not be open to the public? But we still are getting concession shipments and my mom just secured a store front where we will be selling some of our popular food items and stuff. So there is plenty to do. Wednesday is going to be working mainly with Gary and Candace today. This shutdown was a bother at first but we are finding it beneficial to work things out before we add Crackstone and Goody on a full time regular basis. We also need more cast members to perform them.

Harley, Frankie, Jackson and Jubilee approached

Frankie: hello, Luke was it?

Lucas: Lucas. Hey there, Frankie

Jubilee: May we enter?

Lucas: of course. You wouldn’t get the full experience but feel free to look around. Ask any of the artisans and craftspeople for a full demo if you want as well.

Jubilee: I wouldn’t want to bother them

Lucas: it’s not a bother at all! We have several crew members already coming in to look around. The artisans and craftspeople are making products for sale both here and their own businesses. My mom has allowed them to work here on their own stuff while we are shutdown.

Jackson: I’ve heard the food here is to die for

Lucas: well the food is limited. The hot concessions are not open. Prepackaged goods are still available. But we are getting ready to make the kettle corn, popcorn and authentic German fudge or as Wednesday calls it? White washed indigenous fudge

Jackson: what?

Wednesday: I am still not allowed inside Ye Old Fudge Shoppe

Lucas: -laughing- that is correct. The fudge ladies are still offended. They take their recipes quite seriously. Mistress Arlene secretly thinks it’s funny how petty they are

Jackson: -holding out his arm for Harley- shall we my dear?

Harley: ugh! No. I have some things to ask Wednesday. Go on ahead and I’ll catch up.

Jubilee, Frankie and Jackson went in.

Lucas: -turning to Xavier- now we are going in. If there’s something you want from inside? I can get it for you. I’ll send you a text to send the funds on Venmo if we have it. Enid can bring it out to you

Xavier: Wednesday can just buy it for me. You say the potato chips are being made? I want the sour cream and onion flavored ones

Wednesday: I am not buying you anything

Xavier: you and Harley owe me for last week! I was sick for days!

Harley: I owe you? Not my fault you can’t handle your hot sauce.

Lucas led everyone except Xavier inside

Harley: now I want to try some of these potato chips

Enid: they are so good! Wednesday loves them. I love them.

Harley: I heard you say kettle corn? The chips aren’t kettle chips? I don’t like hard crispy potato chips. If I want hard chips? I’m eating corn chips

Lucas: not kettle chips. They are light and crispy

[mydaddywiki]

Gary Basaraba

Physique: Husky Build Height: 6’ 3" (1.91 m)

Gary Basaraba (born March 16, 1959-) is a Canadian actor. He appeared as Sergeant Richard Santoro on Steven Bochco's Brooklyn South and Officer Ray Hechler on the critically acclaimed but short-lived Boomtown. He has worked for Martin Scorsese three times, first in The Last Temptation of Christ and then The Irishman and Killers of the Flower Moon.

Tall, husky and has an ass that'll be contender for 'The Ass of the Year Award.' 'The Ass of the Year Award?' Now that's an award show I'd watch.

Lets see, he went to Yale so he's smart as well as hot. I want to say he's married with two children, but I can't verify that. So I'll continue with my delusion of me secretly being his cock sock. Personal aspirations aside, he's a very good actor, in my opinion and deserves more stronger roles. Preferably with his clothes off.

RECOMMENDATIONS: Mad Men (TV Series 2007) - Shirtless Mixed Blessings (TV Series 2007) - Shirtless Boomtown (TV Series 2002) - Shirtless

[anonymous-tals]

I love how it’s, like, kind of implied that Gob has said and done so much gay stuff that it doesn’t even register to Michael anymore. Like, walking in on Gob when there’s a guy on his lap, the “Gary’s gay?…He’s gonna think I was coming onto him,” thing, Gob calling the Hot Cops hot(not in the sense of that being a part of the name), the homo much speech, Gob correcting Michael and saying “‘He’s’ don’t like to be called ‘she’s’” when Michael assumes who Gob is secretly dating is a girl, when Gob giddily talks about Tony’s beard tickling him, when he talks about Tony in general all of the time, etc, etc, I’m sure there are other instances(and I’m gonna assume just a lifetime of instances we weren’t shown). In these scenarios, Michael essentially gives no reaction. Half the time, you’d think he hadn’t noticed anything if it wasn’t for Gob being obvious to the point where it would be impossible to ignore or miss it; like literally saying that, no, the person I’m dating is a he, not a she. The only time Michael really reacted was when he realized Gob and Tony slept together and shouted “I knew it!”, and perhaps that was just from the surprise of Gob actually maybe finally coming to terms with being gay. But aside from that, he’s literally so desensitized to it.

I’d like to think that at one point, Michael and maybe Lindsay too, tried to talk to Gob about him being gay, at least in a vague, simply put, “We’ll accept you no matter what,” way, but he denied it and it’s been so long with him refusing to acknowledge it that they’ve given up and it’s become such a normalized facet of Gob that it’s not even something they react to anymore.

Gob’s being gay again? Business as usual.

[aria-ashryver]

It's a totally random ask, I just checked the time and thought you're probably in the hospital rn, and then I realised it's been a while since you updated us on pretty nurses situation 💅🏼

(anyone cuter than Vidya perhaps? 👀)

🩺Aria's Top Ten Nurses 🏥

because sitting in the hospital for hours on end is boring so we make dumb little lists to pass the time which you absolutely do not have to read lol

(cw: theres a photo of an IV line in my arm under the cut)

#10 - Gary (vascular access technician)

ultimate gruff old dad. excellent banter. always tells me to keep out of trouble when he's done setting my lines. finger guns for days. he's only coming in 10th bc he tried to convince me to get a permanent line fitted and the concept of that terrifies me (hence why i have instead opted for over a hundred individual injections to date)

#9 - Cincy (chemo ward nurse)

incredibly soft spoken. shy to the point of painful. apologises for everything. she was there on the day of the pincushion tally high score, and even though my veins have recovered a lot since then, she always has a look of fear in her eyes when she goes to set my lines. I'm sorry Cincy, please stop being so scared of me.

#8 - Olivia (chemo ward nurse)

peak tsundere ice queen. super pretty. magically long black hair. has never smiled in her life. pretty sure she secretly enjoys inflicting pain on people, because she always sets the cannula in my cephalic vein (beneath the thumb on the side of the wrist) to "give my dorsal arch veins some time to recover" and HOLY FUCK THEY HURT. one time she laughed* at one of my jokes and it was the best day of my life.

*it was a begrudging huff of air through her nose and then she rolled her eyes, but it counts dammit.

#7 - Claire (clinic nurse)

tiny Irish lady. always got too much on her plate. why does she run everywhere. always makes me giggle when she does my obs and pre-checks bc my meds sound funny when you say them with an Irish accent. Claire please sit down for like 10 minutes, i beg, you're making me tired.

#6 - Kelly (chemo ward nurse)

only been my nurse once or twice, but i do remember that one time she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she started choking and had to excuse herself, and the resultant ego boost has shot her up to place #6 on this list

#5 - Warren (vascular access technician)

OMFG Warren you pretty motherfucker. why are so many of these nurses in their late twenties/early thirties and ludicrously hot? this guy looked at me with his big brown eyes and soothing voice, held my hand while he applied some anaesthetic and told me "that's it, good, you're doing so well love". Warren how do you expect me not to fall in love with you??? that is EXACTLY how Vidya got me

#4 - Jax (chemo ward nurse)

i met them on their first day in the chemo ward. they were just supposed to be observing that day -- unfortunately what they observed was the pincushion tally high score. Sorry Jax.

(i.e. they witnessed Cincy and Farah puncturing the ever loving fuck out of my every available vein, failing to set line after line, apologising to me profusely over the course of like half an hour, and then the vascular access team coming in to rescue us all and set my line via ultrasound instead.)

that was a fun one lol.

#3 - Vidya (chemo ward nurse)

the one, the only, my actual wife!!!! 💖🌈 im half convinced she was the product of a fever dream, because one: how is this woman both fucking gorgeous and SO sweet and caring? and two: her shifts have changed and i barely see her these days. Come back Vidya i miss you 😭😭😭

#2 - Farah (chemo ward nurse)

another super pretty nurse! was delighted when i told her tumblr was still a thing. unironically says "slay" and "omg yass!". compliments my outfits without fail every time i go in for treatments. got extremely excited the first time she set a canula in one go after the pincushion tally high score debacle, and then told me "damn girl, you traumatised me that day" lol. Sorry Farah

#1 - Tori (chemo ward nurse)

Tori is my BRO. our banter game is excellent. (she's also super pretty lol). always tells me when there is good shit in the fridge. been my nurse so often that she just feels like a pal. sneaks into the admin office to make sure my appointments are at lunchtime or later (instead of like 8am) whenever she can. once told me it was her opinion as a medical professional that i should treat myself to bubble tea and ice cream.

Congrats Tori, you win the nurse rankings and my entire heart forever!! 💖💖💖

(but so does Vidya bc I am a fucking simp for that woman lbr)

[laalaaisqueen]

Gary/Ninja

The second he woke up, Gary wanted to bang his head against a wall. Stupid thought because his whole body hurt. It didn’t make sense, he hadn’t been overworking his body. All he did yesterday was help with a sick Finn.

Dutch had to leave for a few seconds to get Finn’s medicine, but apparently the Lieutenant refused to be left alone for a few minutes.

Unfortunately, Gary was the first person Dutch spotted. So the doctor had to listen to Finn’s endless complaints.

Doesn’t really explain why his body ached. It didn’t feel like getting sick.

He could only doze in and out, unable to force his body up, unable to text Skylar.

“..ey. ..ary.” A voice slowly interrupted his doze.

Gary forces his pink eyes open to see Ninja patting his cheek. He was so out of it he didn’t question how he got in.

“...N?”

“I heard you got stuck taking care of Finn, and no one has seen you, so I brought you some tea.”

“...Tea?” His muddled mind was unable to understand how tea was supposed to help.

“Yeah, the kind of tea Dutch always made Finn back when we were all kids.”

Gary still didn’t think he was sick, but he tried to sit up against the pillows anyway. He tried to move his arm, but he couldn’t move it very well.

So Ninja probably would have to help him drink it.

“I should warn you, Dutch always makes it really hot.”

...It is. But the taller Teletubby was careful to make sure his tongue wouldn’t get burnt.

Finally, after the mug was empty, Ninja put it aside on the night table and felt his forehead. Strange, no fever.

“Sorry I came in without knocking, but Skylar told me you wouldn’t be able to open the door for some reason, so I had Anne pick lock your door.”

Ah.

Then something fucking strange happened. His mind began to clear up, and he could start to move properly.

There’s no way that’s just normal tea. Was Dutch secretly a fucking wizard?

“That’s so weird.” Gary is finally able to get out of bed.

“I should probably leave so you can get dressed.” Ninja walks to the door and opens it while also twisting the lock.

“Thanks N.”

He turned to focus his gray eyes on him. “You’re welcome, I’ll talk to Dutch to make sure you don’t get almost bedridden like this again.”

“Please do.”

[janeturenne]

this post is secretly four and a half years old

y’all, it’s been a hot minute and I don’t even know if people crosspost fic on tumblr anymore but here we are?

I wrote nigh on 10,000 words well over four years ago for what was supposed to be a published Gallifrey charity anthology, which sadly seems to have been pandemic’d. Having eventually accepted that this fic was never gonna find its way into print, I’ve been meaning to post it, and was finally nudged into it for the following reason: Gallifrey One is around the corner in California, and this year I will, for the very first time, actually be there.  So! If any fellow Gally audio fans are gonna be in those parts, please do come say hi! I will, among other things, be Iris Wildthyme on Saturday and be, uh, trying not to lose my wits too thoroughly at Gary Russell’s kaffeeklatsch. And until then, please enjoy the following rather meta fic about a character who I love weirdly and deeply and down to the bottom of my boots:

A Passable Artificiality - Gallifrey fandom, gen, suitable for all audiences

A series of rescues in time and space look suspiciously like President Romanadvoratrelundar's messes being cleaned up. But what about Romana's biggest loose end of all? https://archiveofourown.org/works/44790893

[tanadrin]

Is there like a popularity threshold below which you'd allow people to act/perform music/create art for the public? Or must it all be automated to save people from the potential negative effects of fame?

hmm, first off, disclaimer: posts prefixed with "hot take" are intentionally inflammatory, not carefully considered proposals, and are not things which i necessarily actually endorse wholeheartedly (or at all). this particular post was inspired by me stumbling across a reddit post on r/all where a ton of people who as far as i know do not personally know joe jonas and sophie turner were intensely discussing if and why they might be divorcing. like jesus christ, people. you don't know these two, you never will, and you have no reason whatsoever to care even an iota about their lives, except that the Monkey Status Module sitting on top of your limbic system is telling you "ooh! high-status monkey! let us pay attention to them!"

actors, and certain kinds of musicians, for whatever reason seem to come in for this kind of obsessive treatment most of all, second only perhaps to the british royal family. probably because they're intensely recognizable, and often attractive. they serve, i suppose, as a canvas for projecting our own hopes and insecurities. every once in a while i get served a tiktok which alludes to the existence of the people who secretly believe that a) taylor swift is a lesbian, and b) she is carefully sending coded messages about her lesbianism to her die-hard fans through her music. this is objectively insane behavior. just truly a monumental waste of time. the people who spend their time and energy thinking about this sort of thing are the equivalent of sovcits--deranged, if frequently by the grace of god not quite deranged enough to qualify for a clinical diagnosis.

there are celebrities of other categories who 1) tend not to achieve fame until a little bit later in life (and so are less prone to actual exploitation) and b) even when they do so tend not to attract the same kind of obsessive, rabid maniacs. writers rarely make it big before their 30s; even prodigies like christopher paolini don't become objects of obsession, or superstardom. jk rowling became like the first or second person ever to make it to billionaire status off her writing career, but people still don't really give her deference, or obsess about her personal life. politicians are very well known, but frequently held in (IMO) a healthy degree of contempt and suspicion simply by virtue of their profession. you get exceptions like Trump--but they're obviously divisive figures, often as deeply unpopular with the broader public as they are popular with their own core constituency. many smaller or more workaday musicians, who are not the subject of marketing pushes by large labels, but who may still be widely known.

we could imagine a system where all entertainment and celebrity gossip magazines were simply banned, and nobody was allowed to act in TV or film until they were 45. that would have a certain charm to it! it might help revitalize struggling regional theater scenes, as people honed their craft in anticipation of competing for film roles once they came of age. and, of course, it would be great to see child roles played by, like Hugh Jackman walking on his knees. all drama is artifice, after all; what we take as acceptable deviation from reality now (like 20 year olds playing high schoolers in TV shows) is simply a result of convention and habit; we could form new convention and new habits if we really wanted to. personally, i think gary oldman could play any role he set his mind to if we gave him a chance.

but technology offers us a better way. really, we've had the technology since we invented animation, but i suppose there is always a desire to achieve a certain verisimilitude in certain kinds of art. we no longer have to compromise. between AI and sophisticated computer graphics, why not simply abolish those professions that tend to produce figures that (for reasons of marketing or simply a defect in our ape-minds) we cannot be normal about? we can create sui generis faces for each film or TV show. maybe we can demand all pop music stars go about masked like the daft punk duo.

that's no help with the royals or for sports stars, though i think i am pretty much on record as saying both those jobs would, in the best of all possible worlds, be abolished for other reasons anyway.

[gaelic-symphony]

For the character game: Melissa Schemmenti??

Why I like them: Milf. Badass. Secretly a softie. Canonically neurodivergent. One half of a top tier ship. Chessy was crucial to my gay awakening.

Why I don’t: As much as I love Melissa, I don't love all the focus she gets from fans, especially as one of two white characters in a predominantly Black show.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Read-a-Thon 😭😭😭

Favorite season/movie: Season 2, I guess? We don't really have enough Abbott yet to answer this question!

Favorite line: No women????

Favorite outfit: Tie between her Halloween costume and this extremely Chessy-coded look

OTP: my beloved Work Wives!

Brotp: Melissava

Head Canon: She is the older sister, and Kristin Marie is three years younger.

Unpopular opinion: Other characters on the show are just as interesting and likable as she is. She just gets all the attention because she's hot and white.

A wish: I wish we'd gotten more of Melissa and her student Mya!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Gary the vending machine guy proposing

5 words to best describe them: South Philly milf teaches kids

My nickname for them: Mel

[secretly-of-course]

I wanna know the gossip around the scout barracks. What did the other scouts think when Toebias got arrested? Or Sev quit? Or Steve yelling at Gary?

oooooo the hot goss 😏

Hehe well, perhaps it's not *that* hot but I imagine the scouts who were victims of Toebias's wallet thievery reacted like this:

[image ID: meme, an old woman being interviewed on the news saying "I'm supposed to feel sorry for that bitch? I don't!"]

Sev quitting gets a mixed reaction. I bet some scouts (especially other flunkers) are secretly wishing they had done the same thing, others are jerks like Gary and just see it as more reasons to make fun of the latecomers.

When Steve yelled at Gary some scouts were hoping for a full on fight (circle around screaming Fight! Fight! Fight!) and were disappointed it didn't go that way. Those who are latecomers themselves feel vindicated though, and are heartened to know at least one person recognizes their talents. Some others though (especially Clint) just think Steve is becoming unhinged <3

Thanks so much for the question!

[djshannonigans]

Radio Clash on Newtown Radio, 4.7.24

Hosted by DJ Shannonigans

Waxahatchee - "365"

Waxahatchee - "Crowbar"

REM - "Near Wild Heaven"

Phosphorescent - "Revelator"

Orville Peck, Willie Nelson - "Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other"

Beyoncé - "Bodyguard"

Jim James, Pixelated, Poolside - "Know Til Now"

Cut Copy - "Need You Now"

Hot Chip - "Fire of Mercy (yuné pinku remix)"

Doja Cat - "Paint the Town Red"

Dionne Warwick - "Walk On By"

Khruangbin - "Pon Pón"

Glass Beams - "Black Sand"

Bacao Rhythm & Steel Band - "Nuthin' But A G Thang"

Vampire Weekend - "Ice Cream Piano"

American Authors - "My Last Dime"

The Lumineers - "Gloria"

The Black Keys - "This is Nowhere"

Nirvana - "The Man Who Sold the World"

Bonnie Tyler - "Total Eclipse of the Heart"

Maggie Rogers - "Don't Forget Me"

Bully - "Atom Bomb"

Gossip - "Real Power"

Shannon & the Clams - "Real or Magic"

Gary Clark, Jr. - "This is Who We Are (feat. Naala)"

[swxppedshitposts]

I think the funniest thing about Gary (Caroline's brother-in-law, married to Sophie, Caroline's sister) secretly wanting to be platonic bffs with Alex is not just the fact itself but the ways in which he tries to execute it, poorly and unsuccessfully

Completely useless shit like sending Alex an email invite to a library coffee morning (which he never even opens because firstly why the fuck would he open an email from Gary, and secondly where in the hell did he get his email address)

Buying VIP tickets to one of Alex's concerts just to stand there in the front row dedicatedly miming all the words with a deadpan expression while holding up a sign that says "Alexsander for president" (they live in the UK where presidents aren't a thing)

Sending him a "Happy Palentine's Day" card on Valentine's Day and signing it from "Gary Gardens xoxo" and then writing "No homo" directly underneath the crossed out x's and o's, followed up by a smiley face with a moustache and a lopsided thumbs up

Silently offering him a ticket to an Avril Lavigne concert inside the men's bathroom at a fancy restaurant in the middle of a dinner comprised of Gary, Alex, Caroline, Sophie, and Ashton (he takes it and then gives it to Caroline at the table, directly in front of Gary, who frankly is emotionally wounded by this move)

Washing Alex's car for him while he talks to Caroline and Sophie inside his house, because that's a nice thing for a friend to do to help out their favourite buddy <3 (Alex finds it so bizarre and a little bit insulting as if Gary was trying to insinuate that his car was dirty, so he throws his tea over him, mug included)

Sending him TikToks, like, 24/7 (Alex never even notices because he doesn't check his TikTok notifications since he accumulates so many)

Noticing that Alex never drinks the tea that Sophie makes for him, so he makes him one himself and reassures him that it's "definitely not poisoned" (This concerns Alex, because why would he say that specifically, unless it was poisoned. IS GARY IN CAHOOTS WITH SOPHIE????)

Vehemently defending Alex on public forums and referring to him as his "close family friend" without his knowledge or consent

Worrying about Alex's cholesterol for him and encouraging him to increase his intake of whey protein (Alex thinks he's trying to sell him something and tells him to fuck off)

Making sure he's reminded to drink plenty of water on hot days, and handing him cool damp towels (Despite Alex having rejected them, like, five times already)

I love Gary <3 <3 <3 One of my favourite barely-talked-about NPCs

Also he dislikes his wife and wishes that he never even married Sophie. Maybe a little bit of a crush on Caroline?

[stesichoreanpalinode]

This sums up James Stewart *so* perfectly:

the thing about Jimmy Stewart is that for a weird-enough looking guy, he is yet somehow SO hot and SO believable, ALWAYS. He always plays the same person—he's always, well, Jimmy Stewart—yet that person can be a murderer, a dark cynic, a naive idealist, the boy next door or an old man who knows better, and every one of those is hot. I would jump his bones in a heartbeat

I mean you know Gary will be straight and true but James could be straight and true or he could be a guy who drinks milk and doesn’t carry a gun or a guy who makes you think he doesn’t carry a gun but does or a guy who will shoot you in the back or a guy who innocently wants to give you the moon or a guy who is secretly obsessed with a woman who looks like you. And he might be a calm old sage but whisper it, don’t you prefer it when he’s cracking up because modern life is so damn stressful it reduces him to hoarse whispers while a lock of hair drops across his brow?

Propaganda

James Stewart (It's a Wonderful Life, The Philadelphia Story, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington)—the thing about Jimmy Stewart is that for a weird-enough looking guy, he is yet somehow SO hot and SO believable, ALWAYS. He always plays the same person—he's always, well, Jimmy Stewart—yet that person can be a murderer, a dark cynic, a naive idealist, the boy next door or an old man who knows better, and every one of those is hot. I would jump his bones in a heartbeat

Gary Cooper (Wings, Mr Deeds Goes to Town, High Noon)—the amount of cunt this man serves [pics attached below]

This is round 3 of the bracket. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage man.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Gary Cooper propaganda:

James Stewart propaganda:

“Here he is next to Grant, in what I believe to be a promotional shot for The Philadelphia Story. Please don’t get distracted by Grant (or do, i’m submitting him next).”

“He’s a nice guy and a good guy and deserves all the happiness and joy ever! Classic boy next door/class president kid that everyone loves for real. Stand-up for the Little Guy vibes. With a charming fun side!!”

[angrypedestrian]

THE TIME IDIOTS EPISODE 401 TITLED “If Only LoT Had The Budget For Erasure Then This Robot Unicorn Attack Homage Would Be Complete” MY THOUGHTS:

MY TIME DUMMIES ARE BACK! I missed you all and I missed list based humor

I’m rusty forgive my lack of truly gr8 jokes

First, I would like to award the inaugural Neal McDonough Memorial Could Get It Award™️ to the legends cast member who most surprised me this off season: Adam (to paraphrase @pivitor it was distressing to realize that Gary is Hot)

Adam is very specifically a huge fucking dork who plays soccer and if you wanted to know a little too much about me, your angrypedestrian, it is that I have A Type

(ALSO once again let us bless DCTV for not making their male actors wax their chests if they don’t want to thank u DCTV!)

NOW ONTO THE REST OF THE BLESS THIS MESS

oh...no

gideon hates them as much as i do and i love that about her

THE TIME BUREAU IS LOCATED IN DC NOW??

OKAY I GUESS

I have so many questions

Does Ava live in DC now??

WHERE CAN SHE AFFORD THAT KIND OF CONDO

she’s in fucking Capitol Hill or fucking EASTERN MARKET isn’t she’s in one of those terrible new buildings

or NO she’s working at the pentagon she’s living in ARLINGTON oh god

Gary 1000% planned that party by himself

party planning was on his resume when he applied for the bureau

Zari is the only person with a brain on this goddamn team

Avalance yay whatever

I STILL HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT DC

i mean i am happy for them but like WHY SET THIS IN A REAL CITY. A CITY I HAPPEN TO LIVE IN

The U-Haul/Subrau joke was good I’ll give them that

Ava is officially a gayer clone than Cosima good job show

This plucky little theme for john is hilarious

i love that the writers clearly have no idea about john

maybe they watched the keanu reeves movie and...nothing else?

it’s rude to throw bones willy nilly in someone’s house john

John: I’ll show you some magic bones

Everyone: groans

did...did they set this in DC just to make a The Exorcist joke

nate: really isn’t the market domination and explotation of workers that uber does the real crime here?

mick: runs over him with the car

I am Dot Heywood’s joy at her son’s big bear boyfriend

BUT HOO BOY AM I GONNA WRITE SOME TRANS DAD ANGST

Time 2 PROJECT onto my favs

ALSO is Nate from DC now??

IS EVERYONE FROM DC NOW?

Star City WHO??? Central City? I Don’t Know Her!

There is a lot that I could say about this revelation that Nate comes from Money, but i’m just gonna say that this explains...a lot about him

zari would know what a hippie is she was born in fucking 2012 not 1876.

This isn’t muddy enough to be woodstock

make them SUFFER legends

this is gonna be a goo based season, isn’t it?

Phil can you keep it under control for one fucking second?

PLEASE?

Nate’s job isn’t real SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT

oh no i think i like nate’s dad maybe a little

sara has no idea who joan baez is you can’t fucking fool me

but the steelatom chest bump! thank u boys

Mick rightfully refuses to engage in my little pony fandom and i respect him for that

This was directly influenced by Robot Unicorn Attack and you CANNOT tell me otherwise

everyone in that writers room is like 27 except for phil and keto they all played RUA in undergrad for HOURS

i can’t believe they’ll shell out for Jefferson Airplane but not one Erasure song?

this is Homophobia

...sparkle sauce are you FUCKING kidding me

mick: rich people...are wild

AXL!!! i love you little rat buddy

what a great fucking use of the cgi budget FINALLY

the context for this hug cannot take away its power

zari looking back: i would never experience an emotion like this how did you all let this happen

man they’re REALLY leaning into that john is the devil on sara’s shoulder thing huh

subtle as a brick to the face that dynamic

the 10 seconds we got of the team on unicorn drugs is the best thing legends has ever done

the team: can’t you just...pull out an app for this john?

zari: books are for DWEEBS

so is this before or after they stole jerry’s sunglasses? Hmm

THEY CAN’T AFFORD THE RIGHTS TO WHITE RABBIT

LEAVE GARY ALONE

but also he and nate have had several mlp discussions and that makes me very upset

ALSO that boy has bottomed before and i will hear nothing to the contrary. he is not a virgin.

I will say, I’m actually digging the skeleton unicorn. Actual good use of cgi? In my legends?

not a high bar, but y’know, gotta start somewhere

I don’t understand why they used the shiniest magic version of john. Plus it would’ve been so much cheaper to just have Con Job john

IT ATE GARY’S NIPPLE

oh poor gary

not the first nipple gideon has replaced tho

she...doesn’t talk about it

none of them talk about it

GOTTA GET THAT SUPERNATURAL JOKE IN THERE

ray you’re gay for nora jesus christ

EVERYONE LIVED IN DC I GUESS

and also behrad is younger now? okay also sure why not

but i do love they’re straight up just like tala is the only one who can handle actual emotions so guess what you’re gonna get an ARC this year

Caity and Jes look SO similar

they couldn’t have given one of them sleeves in this scene? did they spend to much on white rabbit to afford sleeves?

Gary would be proud about losing a nipple atta boy

sara i can think of several things you would rather want than to settle down IN DC

i’m gonna harp on this all season guys i apologize in advance

sara: john we’re gonna make you have a feeling just you fuckin wait

john: what was that? 

sara: nothing fuck off asshole

they used white rabbit too many times and now the music rights people are coming to take john’s soul

[gayvbros]

random venture bros headcanons

✧˖° hank still can’t really tie his shoes. he prefers velcro.

✧˖° dermott and hank keep in touch over social media and regularly play minecraft or similar games together online.

✧˖° hank likes to make dean mad by pretending he genuinely believes the earth is flat. dean thinks he’s going crazy because of this.

✧˖° jared finds the spiderman pajamas. he doesn’t tell dean because he doesn’t want him to be embarrassed, but he thinks it’s really cute.

✧˖° when either of the venture bros come out they come out to brock first. brock is touched that they would tell him first! he’ll pat each of them on the back and give a stern approving nod but on the inside he’s really proud.

✧˖° after his disastrous attempt at running dean decides to pick up “easier” exercises. so he starts doing yoga! he’s surprisingly good at it.

✧˖° rusty eventually starts going to therapy again, one on one. it helps him learn to cope and realize that he can help break the cycle and be a better father. he eventually puts these coping mechanisms into practice.

✧˖° rusty tries to bond with the boys through their interests. It works most of the time. hank enjoys destroying him in call of duty and dean is glad that rusty is taking an interest in his studies, even if it’s not super science.

✧˖° pete and billy regularly go on romantic dinner dates. they don’t realize it’s romantic.

✧˖° the triad has “guy’s nights” where they hang out and watch trash tv and play board games and drink wine! they have a great time.

✧˖° jefferson twilight knits frequently and sometimes gifts other members of the triad hand knitted sweaters and scarves.

✧˖° orpheus volunteers at an animal shelter regularly. all of the animals love him and he laments the fact that he can’t adopt all of them.

✧˖° hunter, molotov, and dr girlfriend have girls nights where they shit talk the men in their life. amber comes sometimes!

✧˖° brock slips up and calls hunter “mom” one day and hunter makes fun of him for it but secretly she thinks it’s sweet and appreciates it.

✧˖° once molotov joins osi her and amber start talking. molotov convinces amber to leave her shitty boyfriend and they slowly start liking eachother. they haven’t started anything yet because molotov doesn’t want to rush her but it’s inevitable.

✧˖° brock gets over his obsession with molotov and they actually become good friends. they constantly roast eachother.

✧˖° every year for their anniversary the monarch buys sheila an extravagant expensive gift. after going bankrupt he starts making gifts from scratch for her. at first he was embarrassed and unsure if she would like it but she lets him know she appreciates the effort and loves anything he gives to her. now he makes more and more every year. she keeps each gift proudly displayed.

✧˖° gary starts lifeguarding during the summer. he takes his job very seriously. hot moms regularly flirt with him at the pool which makes him flustered. once he slipped and fell because one was really forward with her advances.

✧˖° gary goes to conventions and gets to fanboy! the monarch goes with him sometimes.

✧˖° sheila buys a shit ton of bath and body works candles. her favorite scent is honeycrisp apples, but she’s not picky!

✧˖° hank makes fun of dean for watching anime but he enjoys jojo! he’ll let some other anime’s slip into his watchlist as well.

✧˖° sometimes on days where he’s feeling confident gary will flex in front of the mirror and do silly poses! he gets really embarrassed when sheila or the monarch catches him.

✧˖° gary cries every time he watches marley and me. every single time.

✧˖° hank is actually pretty good at cooking! he’s able to follow any recipe and even do some improvised cooking! don’t let him bake though.

✧˖° dean is the exact opposite. he can make amazing muffins or cakes but don’t let him make spaghetti. he’ll even burn cereal.

✧˖° the monarch has no sense of direction. sheila and gary have to be the gps.

✧˖° al and shoreleave have spontaneous date nights! they are never bored when they’re together. they always have fun no matter what they’re doing.

✧˖° pete’s love for billy is obvious to everyone except billy. everyone knows pete loves billy but he’ll never tell him. he doesn’t want to lose him. billy also loves pete but doesn’t think pete would ever love him. they both need a little push to get together.

✧˖° billy and sheila have academic discussions that nobody else understands. they respect eachother as academics and slowly become friends.

✧˖° hatred buys a shit ton of gay pride merch for the boys. it puts a dent in his savings he buys so much. they wear it to make him happy.

✧˖° rusty is the worst when he’s sick! he’s whiny and annoying but brock takes care of him anyways and takes it all in stride.

✧˖° the pirate ends up being a weird uncle to the boys. he gives them advice and drives them places when he needs them to.

✧˖° dean goes to every single one of jared’s plays or theatre things. he doesn’t miss any of his performances.

✧˖° orpheus doesn’t let al drive the car because he drives super fast and has chronic road rage. orpheus and jefferson do not want to die in a car crash!

✧˖° the monarch has given sheila a lap dance to a justin timberlake song. they never talk about that night.

✧˖° gary is a redditor

✧˖° dermott still teaches self defense classes. he also calls out bingo numbers at the senior center some nights and all the seniors love him! the old ladies pinch his cheeks and give him sweet cards and casseroles.

[jimothy-hopkins]

- Prep & Greaser Headcanons -

Norton is from New Orleans. He had to move up to New York after Hurricane Katrina devastated the gulf coast.

Lefty can do a really good Elvis impression.

He’s actually worked part time as an Elvis impersonator.

Bif drives way too fast.

Mf drives like a cop.

Vance and Pinky actually get along quite well.

Hal just silently judges everyone.

He’s so sassy and for what.

Lucky is passive aggressive.

Parker and Gary used to watch crime documentaries together before Gary was kicked out.

Derby is upset that Bif got taller than him.

When they were little Bif was a tiny scrawny little rat but when highschool hit he just got huge out of nowhere.

Tad doesn’t normally curse, he replaces swears with words like “biscuit”, “mother trucker”, and “fruck”

Chad successfully befriends every dog he meets.

He can also carry Chester and Bryce at once.

Tad is the only prep that lives in Bullworth full time. As he and his family were also pushed out of the south due to the catastrophic damage of Katrina.

Vance will slip on a banana peel, fall down the stairs, and rip his jeans all at once and Gord would still be like “He’s so handsome 💙💙”

Ricky sneaks the greasers free candy from the shop.

Derby will never admit that the candy they make is absolutely delicious. He just secretly eats it very reluctantly.

Johnny wears his mother’s ring. It’s the most valuable thing to him.

Peanut hates barrel racers.

Justin can fit a kitkat in his tooth gap.

He’s so insecure about it he hates it so much.

Derby can drive his yacht pretty well.

The yacht is named To Taylor My Love Belongs, or just The Taylor.

Bif and Zoe spend every Saturday together going shopping.

Hot topic scares him but he loves Zoe so.

Pinky and Lola are the best girlfriends ever.

They gossip together every night.

Norton loves visiting art museums.

He has a large bookshelf in his dorm.

Jimmy’s step father lives in the vale. So he can be considered partially a prep.

Hal and Lefty are best friends.

Lefty has a giant ass bullfrog named Hamburger.

It scares the shit out of Peanut he is terrified of that frog.