#gartok

[npcproject]

NPC 012-1 Gartok

[rattoes420]

Dungeons and Daddies Episode 2: The Ties That Bind

Glenn liking Henry’s dad joke is such a small thing but to me honestly it’s kinda cute and I really like any moment that indicates Glenn being a good or even just sorta normal dad, like sorry guys he’s my fav, shout-out to my Pookie Glenn you will always be famous

[nesperus]

gartok!!! I didn’t know fairy dragons were pink and blue until I looked them up theyre so cool

worst father award

[spaghettiisinmysoul]

Gartok is coming along nicely

[kirbyairide]

The dad’s relationship with Gartok even before the time travel shenanigans is fucking hilarious. Like they (indirectly or not) kill one of his kids and then they get so legitimately pissed at him when he has a justifiably negative reaction to said kid dying. Just totally antagonistic from the start lmaoo

[y2ksnowglobe]

My question: Are the collars on the kiddads like...permanent? Like is Willy the only one who can take them off, so if he dies, they just have like...cool, kink-adjacent jewelry for the rest of their lives?

[apricior]

[end of season 1 spoilers]

i started relistening to season 1 to deal with having to wait two weeks for a new episode, and in episode 2 there is a moment when discussing what to do with gartok when henry says this:

"But here's what we do. We tie him up, right? We bring the kids out. We give one of them the knife and we say, 'you can kill him but then you'll be just as bad as he is.' And then we give them the— it's like, just like I say with my boys Sparrow and Lark. You know? I try to give them choices, right?"

and i know it ultimately means nothing, but i think there is something kind of poetically sad that henry is talking about giving the dragon kids the choice to stab their dad with a knife only to get stabbed by his own kid with a knife at the end of the season

[nick-close]

I noticed this while editing my silly Glenn only version! I had to get the time travel clip myself lol. Though I will add!! They don’t actually cut anything from the version with the time travel from what I could tell!! They just interupt the moment Darryl ends his sentence, insert the time travel, and it goes right to what they’d usually say afterwards. So you’re not really missing anything!

I'm going through my third listen-through of Dungeons and Daddies this year (because I'm completely normal about this podcast and it doesn't constantly take up space in my brain) and I'm listening through youtube this time around, and I just learned that the youtube version of s1 episode 2 is the original, un-time-travelled version. So I thought I'd mention it here in case anyone had been wanting to hear the original version of that episode

[variksel]

ep 2 of my 6th s1 dndads relisten: im gonna say somethin controversial but. i think they really got their groove and energy in episode 2 (the gartok debacle)

[laurenablack]

So I ran a DNDADS campaign for my friends and I feel the need to share some of the shenanigans they got up to (I've thrown in a mix of S1/S2 NPCS and some folks from ATMOD)

-Called Doug for everything

-Agreed to kill infants for Erin O'Neil

-Attempted to kick Mark Likely in the groin so many times and failed

-Immediately adopted Hermie and Normal

-Got tricked by Paeden into drawing from the Deck of Many Things

-Still adopted Paeden, convinced him to attack a rock

-Gave Hermie meth ice cream

-Started an empire selling hats through Doug, who gets 40% of the sales and cried over it

-Killed Gartok

-Have been very flirty with both Erin O'Neil and Meryl Streep

-Did a lot of drug flowers

-Decided one of the Purple Robes was Gordon Ramsey and made that the main recurring joke until they discovered Gordon was actually their terrible father

-Attempted to seduce the Robes before finding out who they were. Also attempted to befriend them.

-Have called their loved ones for help. A LOT.

-One player cheated on their wife with a Death God but not in the BDSM side quest??

-Elected Paeden king of the Baby mafia and made zero attempt to return him home to Walter

-Dropped a pyramid on the only entrance/exit path on or off of Ravenloft Castle

-Had a magic fish attack many of their enemies

-Created a weird joint custody arrangement with Scam Likely

Should also point out 3 of them were playing as John Constantine, Percy Jackson, and Mike Afton--

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP36 SPOILERS!

alrighty! im writing this out in my notes app this time to make sure it doesnt all get deleted like last time: s2 ep36 thoughts! in real time! lets go!

- idc what the episode title or any other official stuff says, i am gonna say terri instead of terry for scary

- HERMIE HERMIE HERMIE HERMIE OH MY GODDDD IM ALREADY STIMMING SO HARD OMG OMG

- PLZ LET THE HERMIE X SCARY STUFF STOP PLZ I CANNOT TAKE THIS

- my arms hurt now. i got too excited. also my headphones need to charge DANG IT

- LINC HAS HAD THE SAME CONTACTS IN SINCE PAPA JOHNS??? and we thought hermie suffered the most /j

- oh god no ofc theres a drinking fact 😁😁

- IT IS NOW TIME. CUE THE GUNSHOTS

- idk WHY im drinking a soda during this im already jittery enough

- NORMAL GOT SHOT

- NOOOO THEY GOT A GARTOK BRACELET ON TJ?? well looks like the brainwash theory people were sorta right

- DOES THIS MEAN BARRY IS FREE NOW?? WHERE IS BARRY???

- how much do u wanna bet hermie isnt gonna get a turn.

- TERRI CALLING NORMAL HUBBY IS SO CURSED

- oh okay so tj is aware and not in like brainwashed mode okay good

- HERMIE!!!!

- "hermie is going to.. sulk. beth, it is ur turn" ANTHONY COME ON.

- TERRIS INTRODUCING HERSELF TO TERRY.....

- "what did u do to my scary?" WAAAA 😭😭

- LINCOLN OH NO

- IF BARRY FUCKING COMES BACK THIS EPISODE I WILL LOOOOSE MY SHIT

- okay is this not barrys earring thing?? is this collar a new one? idk ig this just doesnt have to do anything w barry lmao. i really wonder what happened to that guy though

- TERRI TALKING ABOUT HER DAD IN FRONT OF TERRY OW

- LINCOLN being the one to remember hermie wow how the tables have turned

- NOOOOOO I MADE A JOKE ABOUT HERMIE GETTING A CRUSH ON LINCOLN BEFORE DONT MAKE IT COME TRUE

- WHY IS HERMIE ABLE TO ACCEPT VALIDATION FROM EVERYONE EXCEPT NORMAL. KILL ME

- im gonna be sick.

- HERMIE NEEDING NORMAL TO BE A PART OF ANOTHER THROUPLE THIS IS SUS KID THIS IS SUS I KNOW WHAT U ARE

- ALSO HANG ON HANG ON HOLD UP. HOLD UP. DO WE NOW HAVE CANON BI (or at least mspec) HERMIE??? HOLY SHIT LETS GOOOO

- OAKWORTHY FANS HOW ARE WE FEELING??? IM VERY CONFUSED AS ALWAYS

- WE TECHNICALLY GOT G NOTED AGAIN EXCEPT ANTHONY WAS SINGING IN THE WRONG KEY LMAO

- ARE THEY JUST GONNA BE LIKE. MARRIED THE REST OF THE SEASON??? HELP

- TERRI HUGGED TERRY AAAUAGAHHH

- IM SO HAPPY HERMIE IS GETTING SM SCREENTIME WTF IS THIS

- OHHHH MY GOD I CANNOT WAIT TO DRAW SCARY HERMIE HOLY SHIT

- OH NO. I JUST REALIZED. TERRYS VISION.... THE SCARY HE SAW W THE TAPE MEASURER WAS ACTUALLY HERMIE WASNT IT. I LITERALLY FORGOT THAT TERRY IS ABOUT TO DIE.

- YALL. TERRY STEPHEN STAMPLER MARLOWE JR. FIRST KIDDAD TO DIE. ☹️

- WHO SHOT TERRY. WHO DID IT

- GRANT????? I ACTUALLY SCREAMED IM NGL I SCREAMED. WHAT THE FUUUUCK

- OKAY. OKAY. wow. okay

[creaturecosmo]

You don't have to be perfect to do good.

This quote from Ron in ep69 pt.1 is a perfect thesis for entirety of season 1. The dads were built from the start to have significant flaws, both as people and as fathers. They are not perfect, in fact they're far from it at the start. Stubborn, closed minded, unavailable.

However, we watch even in episode 1 as these imperfect people and imperfect fathers try to do good. Their versions of good. They support each other, heal each other, when they could've easily been like "our conflict is too great, I don't want to be around you, you aren't worth the spell slots."

We watch these men grow, both good and bad. Their stories unfold, they develop, they adapt. The underlying in message in a lot of the missions could be tied to this idea that "Hey, we fucked up/are fucked up, but at the end of the day, we have done something good." Dismantling the cult, helping Gartok's kids, freeing the vampire children, even the small thing of scaring the shit out of the fucky dude at the end of the for knights tournament. They leave behind good everywhere they go, both small and large.

I just love this show so much, and I adore the quote this post opens with. It's such an amazing message and I still get shivers hearing it every time I relisten to that episode.

[slightlyhopefulromantic]

NPC for you to draw S1 Erin O'Neil Cern Walter Paeden Gartok S2 Mae Hails? (is that how you spell it?) Gabe Goul Margarita Pizza Erika Drippins Tony Pepperoni I just realized how many I gave I am so sorry

hi birdi!!! i love you birdi, my friend birdi. send one or two. <333

[cakeofthepan]

The whole Charleston Chew bit is one of my favorite things if only for the Anthony’s laughter after Will says “that’s complex”. Plus some bonus talking dads for all of the Oakson shippers out there.

[Audio Transcript:

[Don’t Bring Me Down by Electric Light Orchestra Plays]

Matt: And I grab one of my secret stash, and I unwrap a piece of my secret stash, and I hand it over to Gartok. I say—

Darryl: Take a chew of that.

Anthony: Okay. He puts it in his maw and it’s like [chewing noises], he’s like—

Gartok: When is this done?

[all laugh]

Gartok: It just kinda keeps going.

Matt: I put one in my mouth and I smile and watch him chew his. I just go—

Darryl: Yeah, it’s pretty good, right?

Matt: And I start the engine.

Gartok: It’s kinda—it’s like a challenge, this [gnawing noises].

Will: I can hear them talking, right?

Anthony: Yeah.

Will: Okay.

Henry: Oh, can I have some of that Charleston Chew?

[all laugh loudly]

Darryl: [startled] What? What are you talking about? What?

Henry: You guys are eating that Charleston Chew up there, the one you were eating earlier?

Darryl: Hey, Henry, can I talk to you really quick?

Henry: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Darryl: Just mano e mano in the back of the van?

Henry: What’s up?

Darryl: So I noticed that you saw my little dirty secret…the box of Charleston Chews.

Henry: Oh, I thought you meant the fact that we just killed someone’s son.

Darryl: Yeah, that’s pretty tough too but uh—

Henry: But you’re more worried about the fact that I saw your candy bars than the murder we just did?

Darryl: Look, man, I’ve really been… I told Carol I was gonna lose weight and I’m not supposed to be having these—

Gartok: [yelling in the distance] Just go!

Darryl: But here’s the thing, these were my dad’s favorite candy and—

Henry: That’s complex.

[all laugh]

Darryl: I want you to take them because I don’t want to disappoint Carol, but I don’t want you to throw them away. Will you just give me one whenever, I don’t know, whenever I do something you think my dad would be proud of, maybe you could give me one of these Charleston Chews.

Freddie: Jesus Christ.

Henry: You know what? I think your dad would be very proud of you right now, so here’s a Charleston Chew.

Freddie: God.

Matt: He goes uh-

Darryl: Hey, Henry.

Henry: Yes, Darryl?

Matt: I toss you the keys.

[Henry gasps]

Darryl: Why don’t you drive the beast, maybe? Make sure your boys are alright?

Matt: While he’s driving, can I do a sleight of hand check to try to steal some Charleston Chews since he’s distracted while driving?

Anthony: Yeah, go ahead and do that with advantage. Sleight of hand.

Will: I do not see the theft of the Charleston Chews, but I will—I would like to say for the record that I have been keeping count of the Charleston Chews. So the next time Henry checks the books, he might sense something is amiss.

Matt: I grab one and I start pulling it and I go “ehhh” and I go for another one.

Anthony: Ooh, what. This is a dark day for you.

Matt: I got a 19.

Will: You got another 19? [rolls die] I got a natural 20.

Henry: Darryl! I thought you wanted me to drive because I’m having a tough day.

Darryl: Just keep driving!

Henry: You, sir, have an addiction to chocolate that you need to deal with. And I will not have my trust undermined by the likes of you for some Charleston Chews! You get those when you earn them, sir.

Will: And I snatch it out of his hands.

Will: Okay. I pull up to the bleeding elf.

Anthony: All right.

Will: And I unroll the window.

Darryl: No, don't give them any money!

Will: And I say—

Henry: Hello, sir. Bleeding elf.

Bleeding Elf: Hello. Alms, please? Alms?

Henry: Well, I’m fresh out of alms, but I have one of these for you.

Will: And then I give him the Charleston Chew while making direct eye contact with Darryl.

Bleeding Elf: [gasps] What is this?!

Henry: This is a confectionery that maybe will help you in your travels, ’cause it seems like you’re having a tough day, sir.

Bleeding Elf: Ooh!

Henry: And maybe you could appreciate this and so other people could learn to appreciate not taking these things for granted.

Bleeding Elf: I’ve had a very tough life indeed; let me partake of this confection?

Anthony: And he starts, like, unwrapping the Charleston Chew with his bloody fingers and it’s all slippery. He’s like—

Bleeding Elf: This could take a bit.

Anthony: And then he opens it and pops it in his mouth and starts to chew and goes—

Bleeding Elf: Ohhh. Delectable.

Darryl: [sighs] Yeah.

Bleeding Elf: The most delicious thing I’ve tasted in a fortmonth.

Will: All right.

Darryl: Sorry about that Henry.

Will: I glare at Darryl, and then I pull out another Charleston Chew and I throw it into the pit.

Henry: You’re down dos today, buddy!

Anthony: You hear a voice go—

Orgy Participants: Oooh delights of many varieties today!

[music fades out]

Matt: Yeah when Will, when Henry takes away the Charleston Chews and then like, and my stomach comes back

Will: Yeah, like that’s pretty kinky. Like that who- the Charleston Chew thing is a lot of like Henry like, dominating Darryl. Like, it’s very intense.

End transcript]

[y2ksnowglobe]

Dndads Dad characters and what I consider to be their most notable parenting crime

The amount of seriousness for any of these is highly variable

Barry: Using a giant hamster water bottle type thing to hydrate the soulless bodies of your grandkids. Bill: Not letting his son murder him. Cern: Getting your kids involved in the doomsday cult you're a member of. Darryl: Honestly? Being a slightly more boring version of my own dad. Frank: Not super canon, but like...he'd give the "Eat some peanut butter to stop being depressed" advice. Gartok: Enslaved his kids. Glenn: Pretended to not like minions with an intensity that it made him look really bad in court. Grant: Probably should have taken Lincoln to a therapist right after the cat incident. Henry: Seems to have forgotten he has a daughter. Jodie: Gave his child a flashbang. Lark(?): Didn't tell Normal about the bulletproofing in the mascot outfit. Poor kid was probably wondering why all the cheerleading moves were harder now. Marco: So unsure of himself that he's able to be convinced he signed a permission slip for his son to go to Seattle. Nicky: Suggests friend murder way too easily as a problem solving method. Ron: "Who's your daddy now?" Scam: Hermie is a teenager because that's the funniest age for him to be. Sparrow: Did not stop Normal from being Vinny the Vulture during a heatwave. Terry Jr.: Offered Scary some kale chips that one time. Willy: Honestly? It's the I have two fish and two plates...lemme just stack these plates together and eat both of the fish moment. That's just such an inexplicable, what the fuck? moment for me.