hanthecannibal

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but whatever i don't feel strongly about amatonormativity at all .

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me when i'm french and bisexual

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when jeremy's brother came by their house and jeremy froze and looked panicked so jean just casually got up and put bryson through a windshield... yeah you're right laila, that was hot

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hello renee i would like to know the EXACT words andrew used after he “clocked Jeremy immediately” like how did that conversation go??

renee: hi andrew how was california?

andrew: fine. (beat). captain of the sunshine court is gay btw.

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Jean about Neil and Kevin basically: I am intrinsically linked to them, they are me and I am them in some way, I would trust them with my life and would go to the ends of the earth if they asked me to, our fates and souls are intertwined, they are my Achilles heel and I could and would not exist in a world without them in it.

Also Jean: ew no, they’re not my friends, have you met them? Insufferable and annoying.

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i love you fuckboy jeremy knox. i love you jeremy sneaking into his ex-situationship's room through the window. i love you jeremy stealing a rose from his ex-situationship's garden. i love you jeremy desecrating the backseat of that car. i love you teenage dirtbag jeremy knox. i love you jeremy "why? is warren shopping for a new beemer?" knox. i love you jeremy's satisfied smile after laila asks how he's still talking to sheldon. i love you jeremy lying on the hotel bed with an arm thrown over his eyes. i love you jeremy "i'm not going down on you on linoleum" knox. i love you jeremy taking off his shirt for jean's attention. i love you jeremy "give me his new number and i'll tell him myself" knox. i love you jeremy smiling at the bobcats after they talked shit to his face. i love you jeremy "if i threw a rock into the chasm between your talents and his, i don't think i'd ever hear it hit bottom" knox. i love you captain sunshine jeremy knox who's not afraid to be a little mean. i love you i love you i love you.

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andrew in tgr is like: gaydar x1000, silently clocking jeremy and telling renee about it. witness in a murder trial. realizing his bf put a hit out on someone (again) ("typical"). cracking jokes with renee. nearly killing someone for hurting neil. having surgery to fix his broken clavicle. letting aaron drive the mas. quitting smoking so he can be fast enough to save neil next time someone comes for him. like you don't understand this man is barely in the book and he is slaying tremendously the whole entire time

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Everyone has goth sex hormones it came free with your fucking existence.

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kevin day you fake IDGAFer i saw you call jean your brother and being rude to an interviewer despite your PR image, I saw you send him a new postcard when you found out what happened to the old ones, I saw you being glad Jean loves cooking, loves something, despite the fact he becomes someone you can't recognise any more. I saw you agree to keep training Neil even though he was doomed by his father, I saw you giving Dobson the clear to speak with Jean about your trauma despite not trusting her because she's Andrew's and oh yeah speaking of, I saw you promising him you'll find something he can live for and you did. you fucking liar

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seungmin in the new ost video,,,,

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concert tickets should cost exactly one dollar and you get to teleport there

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2007

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iris by goo goo dolls really is insane though. I'd give up forever to touch you? you're the closest to heaven I'll ever be? all I can breathe is your life? and I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think they'd understand? when everything's meant to be broken I just want you to know who I am? does anyone hear me.

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kevin day collecting homoerotic situationships to go play at the olympics with him one day

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i think one reason why so many people fail to understand andrew and neil's relationship is because people don't know what it is to be aspec. and obviously the aspec umbrella is wide and varied and no one size fits all, but at the heart of their relationship, neil is demisexual. and i fully believe andrew is some form of aromantic. and obviously their shared history of trauma (of all kinds) colors their relationship and their sexualities and actions. but aspec people (and the people in relationships with those aspec people) develop such different relationships than allo people. they care differently, and it's often the care that becomes most important, rather than (just) the attraction. like yes, i choose you because i see you because i am interested in you because i don't quite understand you but i want to, i need to, and i am committed to sticking around regardless of whether we are a legal partnership or not.

people argue all the time that andreil would grow to say i love you some day, that they'd eventually heal enough to get married, but that isn't healing. that's ignoring a vital part of each of them. not only are they both still learning what love is, but love is not what their relationship is built around. they did not ~FaLl In LoVE~ they built a partnership around taking care of the other person. sure they were attracted to each other in their own ways, but andrew doesn't look at neil like he's his happily ever after romance. neil is the person who wants andrew to live, who wants andrew to be happy, who wants andrew to know that he has value even when he's not a good person. and andrew is the person who wants neil to be safe, who wants neil to be happy, who wants neil to know that he has value even when he isn't playing exy. their "romance" comes from holding each other up, from calling each other on their shit, from being a safe space when the world has proven it is anything but. neil is the one who almost starts to imagine some kind of long-term partnership in such conventional terms and andrew is so unconcerned with what that partnership looks like...he just knows the two of them will continue holding each other up as long as they can. and sure they'll have sex and sleep in the same bed and get cats together and all that "romantic" shit, but it's more than romance. it's a life. it's security. it's a chance to rewrite the trauma of their pasts.

and yeah to an outsider all that is romantic, sure. but i don't think andrew and neil see it like that. their relationships is all facts and truths. they feel safest in these absolutes, in the trust they are building together, in the shared language they are crafting between tentative touches and long stares. but to label it something as banal as ~romance~ undersells just what's happening to them. they don't need to say i love you because they know that all of these pieces that make up their shared life together say that for them, and they wouldn't know what to do with those words anyway. their "love" is not the same as other people's anyway. they don't need to get married because anniversaries and dates and marriages minimize just how long forever is, and they are already joined together by the understanding they share.

if the two of them got married or started "dating" it would send the wrong message to people who will never understand. neil isn't andrew's ~boyfriend~ he's the man who convinced him that life can interesting enough to stick around for. andrew isn't neil's ~lover~ he's the man who refused to let him run away from the life he always wanted. it's not romantic, it's survival. it's selflessness. it's learning how to care for yourself by caring for someone else and letting them care for you.

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when you understand that both jeremy and jean have been abused in a similar way (someone with more power controlling everything about their life and them thinking they deserve it) there's something so painful about watching jean getting better and living the life he deserves while jeremy is still stuck with his family. this book series is mostly about jean, i know, but jean making friends, being happy, calling rhemman a father in his head, while jeremy has sex with people who disrespect him, is financially abused by his mother, and both his biological father and Mathilda's new husband are neglectful at best and homophobic/abusive at worst....being stabbed by riko would hurt me less i think.

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Jeremy : don’t worry :) Neil visiting was actually great :) it means 🥰🥰Jean 🥰🥰 had an alibi :) he didn’t kill Grayson :)))

Kevin:

Andrew:

Kevin (head in hands) : oh god Neil killed Grayson for Jean

Immediately. He knew immediately. Hilarious.