#garrus x thane

[hum-tittle]

Happy N7 day!!!

Here is something I wrote, I want to make it into a comic once I can afford to pay an artist. 💕

(A group of them sitting at the mess hall table)

Jack: So, He was like “you could only win a fight because of your biotics.” I said “Oh, yeah, say that to my steel toed boots.” and kicked him right in the dick.

Garrus: It was out?

Jack: No, dumbass, he was not naked.

Garrus: That’s not what I asked, was he um… well

Mordin: Ah! Garrus doesn’t know human anatomy. Human penile tissue, heat sensitive, along with testes. Evolved to keep cool by being outside of body.

Grunt: You’re quads are on the outside?

Joker: Yes they are.

Garrus: doesn’t that make things like sitting more difficult?

Joker: Yes it does. Not only do they take up space but if you sit on them wrong, it hurts like a bitch!

Grunt: Are they a good weak spot on humans?

Joker: I’ve broken bones that were less painful than getting hit there.

Grunt: he he he. I love learning new weaknesses of lesser beings

Jack: Well that might work on Joker, but it would just piss me off.

Grunt: Why would it not work on you?

Mordin: Jack female, her reproductive organs inside. Joker male, so organs are outside.

Garrus: So, the female's organs can handle the temperature of the body but the males can’t?

Mordin: Yes, this is common with many mammals.

Garrus: Huh, interesting

Mordin: Though some mammals have retractable penises, similar to aves and amphibian species but not same. Can show diagrams.

Joker: Wait, do you guys retract?

Grunt: Yes

Garrus: Yeah, it’s not just out

Mordin: Correct

Thane: Yes, they are retracted when not in use.

Jack: Thane did you say they? As in plural?

Thane: Yes, I have two.

Garrus: Can you use them at the same time?

Thane: No, only one.

Mordin: Drell are reptilian. This trait was useful when less evolved. Could quickly reproduce with multiple partners with little to no break in between. As they evolved, sex became more than reproduction,and trait was kept for ahem… longevity.

*Kelly drops breakfast in the background*

Kasumi (to Jack): So that’s why Shepard’s always smiling

*Shepard walks into mess hall*

Thane: Siha, come sit while I grab you breakfast.

Shepard: Good morning everyone.

Shepard: Why are you all staring at me? What were you guys talking about?

Kelly: Just how lucky you are

[basclari]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Thane Krios/Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Thane Krios/Female Shepard, Thane Krios/Garrus Vakarian Characters: Thane Krios, Female Shepard (Mass Effect), Garrus Vakarian Additional Tags: Kepral's Syndrome (Mass Effect), Hurt/Comfort, relationship, Established Relationship, Feels, Illnesses, Canon Compliant, Huerta Memorial Hospital, Whump Summary:

Shepard won't bring up Thane's personnel file.

But Garrus will.

[hum-tittle]

I love it, so I made movie posters for them!

Anyway, I like to think there have been some amusing misunderstandings on the Normandy around Archangel-related media.

Shep and Tali, having an enthusiastic discussion about "the film", which they both claim to have seen recently and enjoyed. Tali is treating Shep to an indepth nerdy analysis of backstory and character development, which seems to puzzle Shep. Shep keeps bringing up lines she found funny, which Tali doesn't remember hearing. Both are silently thinking girl, did we watch the same vid???

To Joker, loitering nearby making himself a coffee, it becomes increasingly clear that they are talking about two different vids, both of which he has watched (for Ripping The Piss Out Of Garrus purposes, obviously)

Tali thinks they're talking about Archangel (2189), the human-made Marvel-esque movie by a big-budget studio, starring big-name actors - the turian who played Bellicus in Fleet & Flotilla and the hot asari from that movie Vaenia - in a fast-paced action-packed story about hope and justice and forbidden love. The one she went to see with Traynor, with the ending that made her cry.

But Shep, bless her filthy little heart, thinks they're talking about Archangel (2189), the cheesy low-budget porn parody produced by an indie studio on Omega, full of terrible jokes about projectiles and rockets and finishing three guys with one round, starring some long-fringed narrow-waisted well-endowed turian who is, in fairness, having the time of his life with that role, and a 98%-fake human woman in a terrible red wig and highly battlefield-inappropriate N7 armour. The one she's been quoting back and forth with Garrus all week, trying to make each other crease up or cringe at inconvenient times.

Now he just has to decide whether to wait for them to figure it out, or confuse them both even more by joining their conversation and talking about Archangel (2189), the new comic series in which the titular vigilante joins forces with his archenemy to defend Omega's people from invading Cerberus forces.

[sol-consort]

[astra-dark]

Tada! I finally finished the designs for my Mass Effect plush charms!! ✨

I’m thinking about making these guys as a series one and then later on adding all the other human characters as a series two, I know they’ll be less popular than the aliens but I love them so I gotta make ‘em!

These guys will be available in my shop in November for N7 day! 💕

[messydiabolical]

Vakarios sketch for @angstyastro <3 <3 <3

[sailwiththedragonsatdawn]

are there any garrus/shepard fics out there where their translators break?

[danypooh80]

The stickers… all the stickers!

Finally up on the Etsy store, and with free US shipping! I am feeling VERY accomplished right now- go me!

Art by @rosebud1773

[totallynotasimp67]

Mass Effect Prompt

Featuring Garrus

I’ll start this by saying, I am not that far into ME3, I have completed the first 2 and I do plan on multiple play throughs. The character I have currently romanced is Garrus, so I’ll be using his name, however feel free use any character you see fit

So, we all know Shepherd has a nightmare about the child they couldn’t save, now the scenario is as follows,

It had been a long day, Shepherd/you were tired, the entire crew was tired but

Shep/you: “Their isn’t any rest for the wicked, Garrus”

Garrus: “all the more reason for you to sleep, we need you on your A game to fight the Reapers, now sleep, Shepherd”

Shep/you: “you drive a hard bargain Vakarian, fine”

Now Shepherd/you had been asleep for a bit, maybe an hour at most when the nightmare started, meanwhile Garrus could tell something just wasn’t right and goes to check on Shepherd/you, his hunch being confirmed seeing you squirming in bed, obviously having a very intense dream

Alternate Dialogue

If you decide to time it after the War against the Reapers

Shep/You: “There isn’t any rest for the wicked, Garrus, you and I know that better than anyone.”

Garrus: “True, but there isn’t any galaxy ending threat knocking at our door, now is there, and I don’t think you getting some sleep will magically make one appear”

Shep/You: “you drive a hard bargain Vakarian, but you’re right, I’ll try and get some sleep”

Now don’t forget to tag me if you use this prompt, thank you and have a good day

[hum-tittle]

In case you didn't know Mordin gives advice for specific romances in Mass Effect 2.

Mordin’s Advice:

Garrus- you might die

Jack- you might die

Tali- she might die

Miranda- you might get probed

Thane- you might get high

[hustlemeanokay]

Andromeda "Andi" Shepard & her badass Team.

+

Bonus.

Ah yes, "Reapers"

[fallenbaroness]

One of my many Mass Effect Trilogy playthrough. ♡

This is Barbara Shepard.

[sol-consort]

Omg, I don't know if you remember, but that shepard cam girl/streamer au you did, I absolutely loved it!! I loved Shepard being so nonchalant about being tits-out in front of the crew, also them passing around the video and being embarrassed about making eye contact with Shep. You killed me!! That was so good

Oh god, this one? I wrote it while half asleep, didn't expect anyone to read it. I just checked it over again–damn the amount of typos. I fixed as much as I could rn. Hopefully, it reads smoother.

But yes! I still adore the concept and would love to expand upon it.

The army life + staying on a ship in the middle of the galaxy and sharing space with your crew has got to result in a lot of accidental nudity and flashing situations. Someone new on warships–like Tali or Liara might find it surprising, feel a bit more shy, while someone like Shepard, who was the Normandy second in command during Captian Anderson days got used to it by now.

Or maybe it's a human army thing? Quarians can't strip for first aid because it will only worsen the situation, Krogans have their thick skin and shells, and Turian skin has metal outer plating.

Only humans are this squishy, easily injured, easy to tear into. Mix that with the fact that we have a pretty good immunity system that gives us high tolerance to different microbiomes and the most genetically diverse genes in the Mass Effect canon–Mordin mentions it in ME2—it's not hard to understand why a human soldier would nonchalantly strip on an alien planet, in the middle of the battlefield, just to ensure the wound is treated properly.

But it's still hot—Shepard's total disregard to having your tits out on full display, chest heaving with every breath. Your crew desperately trying to maintain eye contact and not get distracted by the way your bare tits bounce with every powerful command and order you bark at them.

Biotics grant people healing abilities, at least ingame. It's not strange for someone like Kaidan or Liara to act as an emergency medic while on the battlefield.

Kaidan attempts to stay professional, stuttering more than usual as the raspiness in his voice becomes more apparent courtesy of his dry throat.

The tips of his ears reddish, summoning all of his will to keep his finger study as he pressed against your wound with the disinfected pad. Having to lower himself into your naked form, his clothed chest almost fully pressing against your own. The hiss you let out as your nipples touch the cold metal surface of his armour—it almost makes his heart jump out from his ribcage–barely remaining collected by the end of it.

Sneaking one lustful glance at your still exposed chest on the shuffle ride back to the Normandy before forcing himself to look away, feeling ashamed of his actions, excusing himself to his own sleeping pod the second the crew is back on board.

-

Anyway, so streamer Shepard hmm.

Miranda would quickly catch wind of this open secret and become your number one patron under a fake pseudo name. She keeps toning in each stream, even if she's working, simply setting the tablet on the table while she files the papers away. Dropping big stacks occasionally whenever you do something she likes, using the carrot method to subtly get you to act more and more slutty, exactly how she likes it.

Samara convinced herself that as long as she only watches—no touching herself, no writing a comment, no sending any money–then it's basically okay and doesn't break her code. She does, however, pay attention to your frequent commenters, checking their profiles, tracking their other socials... just in case one of them crosses the line. It is her job to make this world a safer place for everyone, right?

Thane–oh god, poor Thane. His own Siha...? Humans sure are uh... more adventurous than he thought they were. Drells are moved by emotions and romantic feelings more than sexual ones. He has very little interest in pornagrophy in any form of media because he just can't get off to a stranger, someone he doesn't love. But once he discovers that it is you in those videos, his commander Shepard, his siha. A flood of emotions wash over him. It becomes a boderline addiction.

Thane especially knows about the common human prono trope of fucking a drell because of the skin acting as both a stim and an aphrodisiac. He wonders if you'd be open to...having him on the stream for that? Just to boost your views...no other reason :) Definitely not to sate some deep primal instinct within him, the need to state his claim by fucking you in front of all of your adoring fans, he is such a tender gentle soul, he would never have those possessive thoughts, right?....right?

The poor guy almost voices this suggestion out each time you come over for a little chat.

Jack would be your top commenter, not even under a fake profile or a different name. Straight up Jack with her own profile picture to boost. Spewing filth and ordering you around like her own personal whore. Of course you don't pay her any mind and only oblige her requests after you make her beg.

Garrus wants to join you so badly. Picture this, the first ever human/turian streamers ever since the war! It will be a hit with both planets. Your profile will skyrocket in popularity. Especially if this is in ME1 where the human-turian intergalactic relationship was still strained and tense. Meditate the tension between your civilisations by letting him stuff you full with his gaint blue glowing cock <3 huh huh!? A million credit worth idea right?

[ashalle-art]

Finished the mistletoe Meme last night/today :D Thank you so much for suggesting all the pairings 💕🥰

Which kiss is your fav?

[lilmissnatcat24]

lilmissnatcat24's FIC MASTERPOST!!!!

Woohoo! Everything I've written and posted on my ao3!

For my blog, click here

Series: Out of Eden

Shakarian detective AU, the events of the Mass Effect trilogy if Shepard was not on Eden Prime.

Turn Left (completed)

The events of Mass Effect 1, 250k words

Electric Sheep (ongoing)

The events of Mass Effect 2.

Long Fics

The Machiavelli Project (completed)

After the events of the Arrival DLC, before ME3. Shepard responds to an SOS signal from a mine on an asteroid, and discovers a crooked corporation that must be stopped. 121,000 words

bound (ongoing, updates irregularly)

Regency au fic, fake marriage, every delicious morsel of the hand flexing scene from pride and prejudice (2005).

One-shots (they're all smutty)

Sweet Like Cherry Wine

Shepard and Garrus pre-Omega-4 Relay. 14,000 words

Commander Shepard, Garrus Vakarian, and the Pussy Pounder Ribbed Dildo (For Her Pleasure) 3000

Garrus finds out Shepard buys a turian dildo by accident, and insists he has to be there when she breaks it in. 8,000 words

Brat

ME1 shore leave turns naughty when Garrus and Shepard are forced to hide in a storage closet. 4,000 words

Kneel

Garrus Vakarian whimpers! That's it, that's the plot. 3,000 words.

when we fuck the heels stay ON

Turians evidently think that humans in heels are really hot. Garrus thinks Shepard is really hot. Smut and naughtiness ensues. 3,000 words.

dangerous waters

accidental communal bathing turns into an anatomy lesson, which turns into something much spicier. 7,000 words

all tied up

shakarian sex pollen fic. self indulgent to the max. 6,000 words.

casual (really, honestly, truly casual)

friends to lovers have the most casual sex of all time, with absolutely no feelings or pining or declarations of love whatsoever. 10,000 words

Short Stories (equally as smutty)

Control

(Shrios) Assassin AU. While stealing targets from each other, Shepard and Thane blur the lines between rivals and lovers. 12k words.