#garp is a menace

[fanaticsnail]

i just wanted to say i really liked your garp fic and i was wondering if you were going to do a part 2?

Bonnie Lass (2/2)

Masterlist Here, Part 1 Here.

Word Count: 7,925

Synopsis: You finally meet with the handsome older gentleman at the other end of the den-den-mushi. He promises a night you will both not forget in a hurry - will it live up to that expectation?

Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, 18+ You have been warned, smut, p in v sex, oral afab!receiving, bonnie lass - wee bonnie - lass - bonnie gendered terms used, afab! reader, "The Garpening", flirting, supportive boss Mihawk, den-den-mushi calls, both are shameless, age gap, unprotected, creampie.

Notes: This fic was brought to you by a bottle of wine, long chats with @carrotsunshine, @since-im-already-here, @sordidmusings, and @feral-artistry, my incessant need to write for older men, and an overbearing need to know exactly where Garp's appetite leads him.

Apprehensive and Apologetic Tag list: @writingmysanity @gingernut1314 @i-am-vita @cinnbar-bun @i-love-myself-xd @the-reas0n-is-y0u

The seabreeze whipped through your hair, the gullsong serenading you as Mihawk’s vessel made to dock at the Marine port. You squint your eyes up, staring at the bleached stone walls of the large building that held the promise of good food and pleasurable company. Hanging on the words Vice-Admiral Garp last spoke to you, your body immediately felt compelled to wander forward to exit the ship and gleefully skip towards the mighty doors.

But you knew better. 

The presence of your boss, Dracule Mihawk, fell beside you: his bicep brushing with the pointed tip of your shoulders as he physically began rumbling a low growl. He despised attending meetings held by the World Government, meaning he would likely require additional resources to get him through the week you were to remain docked at harbor. 

“My lord,” you addressed him, turning your body with a curt nod to him. He hummed in response, unbreaking his eyes away from the headquarters of the world government. With a small exhale of breath, you regained your composure and began relaying his itinerary for the day to him.

“An hour after we dock, your presence is required to partake in a meeting of the warlords of the sea,” you began, elevating your clipboard and scanning the paper pages for the next item on his agenda, “Afterwards, you have a brunch with Boa Hancock and Jinbei - to what end, I was made unaware. After that, you’ll be given your assignment to rid the outer ring of the ‘unruly plague of piracy’ the World Government deems important enough for your skill - likely to be completed over four days of battle, given the numbers,” Your brows furrowed, searching the pages for further information, “Then you are to meet with your tailor, just before your new headshots are to be confirmed by den-den-mushi.”

Mihawk clenched his fists, gritting his teeth as the marines roped his ship into port. The more you spoke, the more agitated he became. Not agitated at you, never agitated with you - he despised these meetings, and hoped that bringing you along would ensure a safe and swift encounter. He always struggled with managing his agendas and itineraries with these encounters, almost electing to bring you along simply for moral support if nothing else. 

“And then?” Mihawk spat through his clenched jaw, fists balling at his sides. 

“And then,” you confirmed, placing your clipboard under your arm and smiling up at your boss, “You have been booked into an onsen for a private spa, a massage and hot stone session in the hamam, and,” you stepped further towards Mihawk, adjusting his overcoat and soothing over his shoulders to rid the material of fray, “After that, I have sent a bottle of Rosso, and asked for for the next book in that romance series you have been indulging in to be awaiting you in your personal suite.” 

Mihawk exhaled a sigh of relief, clapping a hand over your shoulder in a gesture of appreciation. You smiled up at your boss, nodding at him to affirm your notion of providing his relief. You turned away, bringing your attention back up to the top of the building, and focussed your pointed gaze at the silhouette glaring over the balcony of the highest point. 

“And while I am distracted by a good book and a bottle of wine,” Mihawk’s taunting purr cracked into your ear, “Where will you be, my dear?” You drew a sheepish grin up to your lips, a faint flush igniting your cheeks 

Mihawk leant down into your ear, his breath tingling and hot against your flesh as he uttered his warning into your ear.

“Wined and dined by an old man?” he taunted down, his smirk visibly present in his tone, “Keeping me at bay while you enjoy a few stiff drinks, before being railed by something else stiff-.”

“Lord Dracule Mihawk!” you scolded him, turning to join your ignited gaze against his playful, honey-colored orbs, “I am first and foremost your assistant.” Mihawk’s lips twitched at the corners, indicating his amusement as close to a smile as he would ever publicly display. You huffed out your breath, shaking your head while adding, “I have never met him in person, and he is yet to extend a formal invitation to join him for dinner. I will be busy all day tending to your affairs, as I always am, Sir.” His amusement never lessened, only growing on his lips with another twitch.

“And after the day of your duties?” Mihawk’s brow twitched in interest, “What then?” 

“What then,” you shoved your index finger into his chest, scraping it up to tap the tip of his nose, “Is that I will be tucked safely within my bedsheets after a long bath and a hot meal. I am here to serve you, sir. I am your assistant, and I am a damn good one.” 

“That you are, dear,” he confirmed, placing his other hand on your shoulder, holding you in place, “Which is why, after today, I have given you three days paid shore leave.” Your stunned silence only propelled him on further to add, “Buy yourself a new pretty dress, and enjoy the sights,” he leant forward with a small wink, his darkened lashes kissing against the waterline to hide his brilliant amber eyes briefly, “And then, get the old man to roar your name in the thralls of joint ecstacy. By my orders, dear. You have earnt it.”

The warm rise of warmth held against the apples of your cheeks all day, constantly repeating Mihawk’s comments in a circular swirl within your mind. From the moment your temporary office was welcomed by a pink-haired cadet, to filling in a variety of paperwork, to taking various den-den-mushi calls, to clocking out for the day - the flushed heat held firm against your cheeks. 

No whisper of a word, nor scroll of a calligraphed note, graced your temporary office with its presence. You honestly thought you had been forgotten, neglected in the knowledge that you had journeyed long beside Dracule Mihawk to be within close proximity to the man who held your undivided attention every day for the past year. 

Just as you were packing away your desk for the day, the den-den-mushi began to roar to life on your wooden countertop. The reverberation of its guttural grunts and gurgles had you satiating its tone by answering the call. 

“Lord Dracule Mihawk’s den-den-mushi. State your intentions, and make it quick-,” you growled, your professional tone wavering in agitation due to the proximity of your shift ending. 

“-Oh, sweet bonnie lass. I dinnae mean t’keep ‘ye waitin’,” the soothing drawl of Vice-Admiral Garp purred through the transponder. You huffed out an exasperated breath, your brows furrowing further against your forehead as you navigated through your swelling mind. 

“Vice-Admiral,” your warning tone cut through the air, halting all further conversation with a concluding utterance of, “My office hours have concluded for the day. Should you desire to reach Dracule Mihawk for any need, you may try again at-.” Your words were stolen from you by Garp’s tone cutting through them like a knife through hot butter.

“-Please, lass,” his plea cracked through the den-den-mushi, holding you hostage to his words, “Please dannae brush me aside. I have been in meetin’s all day, and I have been trying to claw my way to you from the wee hours of the morn, to the quiet moments of the noon.” You rotated your neck, relieving tension found within the tight bands of your muscles. 

“Vice-Admiral,” you began, interrupted once again by his rumbling brogue growling through the mouthpiece of the den-den-mushi, “I have had a long journey at sea. My only welcome being more work at the bequest of my employer. I do not have time to entertain you over the transponder today. If you desire to speak further, you can try again tomorrow, Vice-Admiral-.”

“-Garp, lass. It’s Garp, please,” his breathy voice gasped through the speaker, “I’ll make it up to you, I swear. I should’ve been down by the docks waiting - up to my knees in sea water to reign your ship in with my bare hands.” You hummed at the thought: a high and mighty Vice-Admiral of the marines lowering himself to the duties of a simple cadet at the chance of meeting his eyes with your own in person. 

You took a moment's pause, contemplating his words and mulling the thought of him demonstrating his strength and stamina to you while shepherding Mihawk’s ship into port. Did he have old navy tattoos on his biceps? Did his advanced age hinder his ability to perform such a task? Gathering he was the one who suggested such a notion, and him being a man of high honor, you gathered he would be up to such a muscle burning task. 

“Alright, Garp,” you hummed into the transponder, leaning back into the transponder and purring through your vocal challenge, “Make it up to me.” 

A shuddered groan sparked through the mouthpiece, your own giddy joy elevating in your chest and igniting your body with soft tingles. If he had this much sway over you with just a small growl of his voice, you were unsure of where the next few moments were to bring you. 

“Meet me at the docks in two hours, Bonnie Lass,” his tone was hushed enough to draw you in closer, your ears pricking to catch every syllable granted to you, “And I’ll treat you to a night you willnae forget in a hurry.” Your broad grin split your face, a small squeak of joy threatening to escape your lips with a soft hum.

“And how should you like me, Garp?” you asked him, your taunting purr calling further into the receiver end, “Should I prepare my wardrobe for an outdoor activity,” you questioned, your foot tapping lightly within the air while hooking over your knee, “Or should I just throw a coat over some lingerie and call it a night?” 

Several cracking objects bent and broke, echoing throughout the den-den-mushi transponder; something akin to wood snapping and nails tearing through mahogany. You rewarded such a sound with a melodic giggle, only producing more creaking wood noises in consequence. 

“Wear something dainty for me,” a low rumbled growl purred at you, “What you choose to wear under it is your prerogative.” 

“Aye, Sir,” you confirmed with a curt nod, “Two hours, and I’ll be all yours.” 

“All mine,” his low drawl parroted back to you, the giddy chirp of his voice endearing in your ears. At the click of the receiver, you sprung immediately into action and hurried out of the office doors. 

You bid a cheery farewell to the cadets loitering in the hallway, thanking them for arranging your office, before leaving the washed-stone building of the World Government headquarters. Your smile never left your lips, the promise of meeting the man who held your romantic affections weighing heavily on your mind and fluttering harshly within the pit of your stomach. 

While bathing, cleansing your skin and hair, and ensuring every part of you was styled and scented with the sweet and sultry persona you had presented yourself to be, your thoughts turned to pondering unspoken questions. Will he enjoy the way you present yourself? Will he behave like the perfect gentleman? How should you act: the way you shamelessly speak over the den-den-mushi, or poised like a lady? Would he like this particular color on you, or on the floor beside you? 

You shook your head to rid them of the spiraling doubts, soothing over your tight dress and hooking your coat over your forearm while exiting the suite you had organized for yourself. Clicking and locking your door behind you, your eyes briefly met with Mihawks: a book tucked under his arm and wine bottle within his grasp, twirling the cork with his screw and filling his wine glass in the window. He shot you a knowing look, mouthing the words: “make him roar.”

Your cheeks flooded with the heat of scorched oil, flash point igniting in your eyes at the final utterance of support from your boss. Shaking your head, you made your way briskly to the docks. The dimly lit lamplight illuminated your path, the click of your heels tapping lightly on the solid sandstone pathway. The flap of gulls wings shepherded your final steps atop the docks, your eyes meeting with a truly unique sight you were not expecting in the least. 

In the middle of the pier stood a highly decorated marine, silver hair backlit by the radiance of the moon and standing with his wrists clenched behind his back. His beard was neatly cropped, his eyes fixed on your approach, his lips exhaling a shaky breath he prayed you didn’t notice. As your feet carried your body closer, you halted a few feet away from him, tilting your chin and pursing your lips playfully up at him. 

“Vice-Admiral,” you purred up at him seductively, your eyes wide and innocent to contradict your expression.

“Bonnie-Lass,” he gruffly commented in response, a smile painted brilliantly on his lips. A delightful shudder flew up your spine at his undistorted voice finally meeting with you. You flit your eyes hastily over him, examining his stature inquisitively - a gesture he returned with gusto, eyes hovering over your meticulously cared and styled hair and outfit. 

“May I invite ‘ye aboard, lass?” Garp’s softness in his tone pulled you in, his arms waving behind him to gesture towards his impressive ship, “I ‘kin understand if being on a ship again after so much time on the water might no’ agree with ‘ye-.”

“-I would love to see your ship, Captain,” you remarked gleefully, stepping past his arms and following his gesture to the broadwalk, “I adore sea travel, and enjoy the rocking of the waves. I find it comforting.” 

As you stepped past, your intoxicating radiance graced Garp with the aroma of your sweet perfume. The way your presence called him immediately to follow you, his feet falling in tow with your every step, was not something he ever accounted for. 

The moment your voice picked up the receiver of the den-den-mushi, Garp’s sour mood was immediately stifled under your comforting tone. The first time he called Castle Kuraigana to relay orders to the broody warlord of the sea, he was ill-prepared to be met with a tone so honey-sweet and kind. He was immediately smitten, often calling the castle with any excuse he could muster to hear more of your sweetness pouring onto him through the speaker of his den-den-mushi. 

But now you were here in person, Garp truly had no idea how to handle you. He did not know if you would allow him the luxury of holding you against himself in a warm and welcoming embrace. He did not desire to lean down and claim your lips with a kiss, only to be met with a turn of your cheek and an utterance of, “You’re too old for me,” falling from your lips. He truly did not know what to expect from you, and the unspoken anxiety was eating at his stomach and clouding his mind. 

“Garp?” you called over to him, halting your advance onto his ship and turning to face him, “Are you going to guide me along your vessel, or am I to find my own way without you?” Garp snapped his eyes to meet with yours, his winding thoughts pausing as he bore his intense gaze into you. 

“Although I do enjoy exploring new areas, I would prefer to be ushered in with the pleasure of your company,” you continued, a coy smile springing to your features, “After all the promises you made to me of the many months we’d been speaking,” you took a step back, falling closer to his larger body, “I would prefer you to keep your word.”

“And which word might that be, lass?” his gruff whisper crooned down at you, his eyes half-lidded and lips parted in desperation, “I had promised ‘ye an array of mischief, if ‘me old mind serves correct.”

“Considering I’ll be on, I’m assuming, this ship for the next few days while Mihawk completes his assignment,” you contemplated, darting your focus between his two eyes, “Would you show me to my quarters so I may send for my belongings to arrive on the morrow?” 

“All work an’ no play, lass?'' he huffed a small laugh down at you, “An’ here I thought you’d want something more playful the first time we met in person, or perhaps something a little more-...” His thoughts trailed off, his tone almost disappointed at your formal conversation. He took it as his first rejection from you, opting to not push his expectation and desires onto you should it make you uncomfortable. 

You exhaled through your nose, your smile not leaving your lips as you shook your head at him. As Garp allowed his spiraling thoughts to plague his mind, fully trapped within his misguided notion you had rejected his flirtatious advances, he didn’t feel the grip of your fingers around his teal tie until his body was thrust forward by the strength of your forearm. 

Drawing all of the power you could muster, alongside the courage you felt you needed to complete such a feat, you claimed the lips of the decorated Vice-Admiral of the marines beneath your own. You set a bruising pace, turning your head and standing yourself up on the tips of your toes to reach more of him. Your other hand found his broad chest, dropping your coat to the floor while fisting the material of his outer coat beneath your palm and cradling him closer to yourself. 

Stepping backwards onto the ship, you ushered his hulking body aboard while unbreaking from the passionate embrace. As your knees knocked with a hard benchtop behind you, you ushered the larger man to turn, forcing his body down to sit himself down on the bench. You opened your mouth, your tongue raking against his bottom lip. 

A groan fled from his lips, Garp’s needy hands grasping at your flesh over the material of your dress. Fistfulls of the material was claimed within Garp’s hands, the hemline of the material being shimmied up your thighs to grant more of your flesh to be exposed to him. He opened his mouth, allowing you to seek out his tongue to brush against your own with expert and practiced precision. 

As the material continued to ride up your body, you hooked your knees either side of his broad thighs and straddled his waist. The split side of your dress strained beneath the grasps of Garp’s hands, stretching the material harshly before your ears pricked at the harsh ‘rip’. You squeaked in Garps mouth, drawing your lips away from his with a frown.

“You tore my dress!” you exclaimed, your accusatory reprimand mixing with a hidden smile beneath your frown, “It was my favorite!” Garp paid your chastising tone no mind, peppering your neck with several, open-mouthed kisses.

“I’ll buy ‘ye twelve more,” he gasped, nipping and sucking at the exposed flesh of your neck, “All the colors you desire,” he raked his teeth against your jaw, “All the patterns in the world.” You keened a small moan into the air when he found a sensitive piece of flesh between your throat and your pulse. 

His hand dipped between the material of your dress, raking his fingertips over your thigh to hold your hip only to pause while held in complete shock. 

“You’re ‘nae wearing anythin’ beneath this dress, bonnie lass,” he growled against your jaw, his teeth catching on the bone and clamping over your soft skin.

“You said it was my prerogative,” you gasped, turning your head to seek out his lips with your own, “Why do you think I wanted you to show me to my quarters, Sir?” You pressed a long and heavy kiss against his lips before tearing yourself away once more. “But it seemed as if you couldn't handle the uncertainty for a moment longer,” you kissed his whiskered cheek, “So I am improvising.” 

Garp immediately responded by raking his broad hands beneath your bare ass, barely covered by the material of your dress, hoisting you into the air and marching you throughout the corridors with heavy and intentional steps. You giggled at him, weaving your hands over his shoulders and massaging his scalp with your fingertips, and nuzzling down into his neck. You inhaled deeply, committing his cologne to memory while nipping and sucking on his exposed flesh close to his collar.

“It’s against protocol to leave visible marks above my uniform,” Garp growled, leaning his head back and exposing more of his skin to you, “If you litter my skin with any bites, I’ll see to ‘ye punishment personally.” In response to your rough, peppered kisses along his neck and bearded jaw, Garp slapped his hand on your right ass cheek before kneading it within his fingers and palm. 

“I am no marine, Garp,” you confessed, wrapping your lips around his pulse and sucking at the skin with fervor, “And I’d like to see you try.”

“Y’ell do as ‘yer bloody told, lass,” he growled, leaning away from your lips. As his eyes met with yours, he squeezed the flesh of your ass with a warning pinch. You squeaked in delight, Garp’s hearty laughter pleasantly echoing within your ears. 

“I’ll do as I bloody please, Garp,” you taunted in return, biting a crescent shaped mark against his pulse, soothing over the mark with your lips and tongue. You sucked at the mark, hearing a hitch in his breath as he continued to lead you towards the guest suites. 

Tearing your lips away, you hummed at the heart-shaped mark you pressed into his skin. It was a medal of lust, visible to all who see it - and see it, they will. Garp’s pulse was elevated further, his passionate advances leading him on with heavy and intentional steps. His boot heel kicked in the door to cabin quarters, your anticipation only growing as Garp lowered you onto the freshly made bed. 

Your back hit the plush mattress, your hair sprawling out on the sheets as he lowered his head against your neck. He pressed a few intentional kisses against your exposed flesh, his hands desperately raking over your chest to knead your breasts slowly and sensually. You sucked in a soft groan, your brows furrowing up as his thumb and index finger rolled over your puckered nipples. At your small gasp, he took it as encouragement to continue stimulating your breasts with his left hand, as his right rose the hemline of your dress over your hip. 

Hastily, you shot your hands forward, fumbling over the buckle of his belt to rid it of its hold on his pants. Just as quickly, Vice-Admiral Garp surged forward: claiming both of your wrists within his circular grip to halt your advance. You furrowed your brows as he pinned your wrists beside your head, your wide eyes meeting with his mischievous grin. 

“What are you-,” you began, silenced by a heavy and open-mouthed kiss pressed against your lips, claiming you beneath him with rough bites and soothing caresses. He groaned against your lips, leading your hands with his to wrap around his shoulders and weave into his hair once more within your fingertips. 

“Let me taste ‘ye first, bonnie,” he growled against your sensitive skin, You gasped a sigh of affirmation, nodding against his smiling lips, “Let me make it up to ‘ye for ‘me surliness earlier. Please let me have ‘ye like this.” 

Trailing open mouthed kisses down your neck, halting briefly at your breasts before trailing down your stomach; Vice-Admiral Monkey D. Garp made his intentions incredibly clear to you as he shimmied the line of your dress higher over your body. 

“Let me show ‘ye how much I’ve been craving the sweet call of my name from those pretty lips o’ yours,” Hooking your knees over his shoulders, he scraped his bearded chin over the sensitive inner flesh of your thighs before grazing his lips over the top of your core, “I’ll have ‘ye cryin’ and whimperin’ for me before ‘ye even see my cock.” 

He tested your sensitive flesh: flicking the tip of his tongue out to brush against your swollen clit. Immediately, your back arched up and a soft cry flew from your lips before you could stop it. Garp chuckled, looking as your pulsating core was welcoming more of his touches, giving away your arousal with a pool of your sweet essence pouring from your contracting entrance. 

“You are so beautiful, bonnie lass,” he pressed a sweet kiss against the top of your groin, his smile felt against your flesh, “And ‘ye finally all mine.” After allowing another chuckle to fall from his lips, he advanced forwards and skillfully licked a clean and expert stripe along your glistening walls. 

Vice-Admiral Garp was known for many things: His brutality in war, his aggression while training cadets, his calculated advances on the battlefield, his impossible strength, and his insatiable appetite. This appetite was now displayed to you as he hungrily and desperately lapped at your core like a man on death row, consuming his last meal while awaiting execution. The balance between savoring the flavor while horking down like a man starving had your eyes rolling back and hands fisting at his cropped hair to hold on tightly. 

“O-Oh fuck,” you cried, your eyes now tightly clamped shut as you relished in his skilled ministrations. The roll of his tongue, the mouthing of his hungry lips, had you physically quaking against his face.

“Shakin’ like a leaf, lass,” he taunted, nuzzling into your aching core, “‘ye want ‘te see what else I ‘kin do?” Your toes curled as he prodded your entrance with his tongue, his nose circling your clit and spreading your arousal throughout your core. Skillfully thrusting his tongue in and out of your desperate and delicate slit, you felt as if you were going to explode in ecstasy the moment he began vibrating his tongue with a deep, rumbling groan. 

“G-Garp. I-I don’t know if I-I can-... hnnng-... I c-can’t last m-....mmmn-... m-much longer,” you cried, your thighs clenching on his neck and shoulders to hold him in place. Your body reacted against your will, arching your back off the mattress while desperately riding his face. You felt the band winding tighter in your abdomen, each area of your body desperately shooting sparks, teetering on the edge of unravel. 

Two firm hands clapped over your thighs: one holding down your stomach and pinning you against the bed, the other kneading over your thigh. Garp pulled his face away from your needy cunt, hovering his hot breath and breathing puffs of cool air over your hole. You whimpered in desperation, wriggling against his wide-spread fingers to get any stimulus to conclude your high. 

“W-Why-,” you cried, a slap on your bare ass halting your words and having you throw your head against the pillow. 

“-Because I warned ‘ye nae t’ leave a mark on ‘me body. It’s against protocol, lass,” he chuckled, his whiskered chin scraping over your thigh as his smiling lips pressed a kiss against the outer corner of your crotch. You growled, leaning up on your elbows, staring into his eyes with a dark agitation.

“And after all those promises of making it up to me?” you spat, your nose scrunching, lips pursing and brow furrowing. Garp rose from his low position against your exposed flesh, a foreign desperation depicted in his wide eyes. 

“Were they all empty words?” you uttered. You knew, for a fact, that Vice-Admiral Garp was mad for you, but that only made you want to taunt him more, “All an act to get me to open my legs, just to leave me disappointed like the rest of them?” A stuttered gasp flew from his lips as he crawled up the bed, weaving his clothed torso through your legs to meet at eye level once again. In turn, you shimmied your body away from him, turning your face away in an attempt to hide your smile.

You knew how desperately he wanted you. The moment your lips collided with his above deck, you felt just how much he absolutely adored you. Considering he held you on the edge of ecstasy, only to pull away from you as you were about to unravel , you decided it would be more entertaining to watch him grovel for you. 

“Perhaps you were only interested in leaving a sour taste, teasing me with your pretty brogue and taunting me with your dream-like promises,” you continued, lips pouting and brows triangulating up in the center of your forehead. Garp staggered in his movement, his hands reaching out in an attempt to grasp yours, only met with you pulling away. 

“L-Lass, I didnae mean t-,” he began, halted by your melancholy sigh in an attempt to stifle a rising giggle in your chest. 

“-You said I’d beg and plead for your hands and lips to be in a few key places, if I recall correctly,” you pouted, playing into your role, “How disappointing, only having me beg and writhe beneath you to pull away at the crescendo.” 

“P-Please, lass. I’m sorry. I am a cruel, cruel man,” he confessed, claiming your left hand within his right and peppering the flesh with a flurry of kisses, “What can I do t���make it up to ‘ye, ‘me bonnie lass. Tell me,” he trailed his kisses up higher, halting at the inner flesh of your elbow, “Order me, dictate me,” he continued spreading kisses up to your shoulder, soothing over your scorching flesh, “I beg ‘ye to reconsider your withdrawal. I am ‘ye humble servant, wee bonnie.” 

Your smile broke through your pouting expression, your head snapping over to meet with his. His eyes were wide and frantic, desperate to know he had not lost you by enacting his cruel punishment. 

“Off the bed,” you ordered him, a twinkle of mischief sparking to light in your surly expression, “And strip yourself, slowly.” 

“Aye, bonnie lass,” he stumbled over his words, immediately staggering backwards and falling to the side of the bed. He began unbuttoning his overcoat and shaking it from his shoulders hurriedly, prompting a giggle to break through your practiced character. 

“I said slowly, Garp,” you purred at him, sitting up and moving your left calf along your right, “I thought you would be good at following orders, considering your title as a marine.” He halted his hasty undress, opting to silently follow your orders by unhooking the clasps of his belt and unbuttoning his pants. As the hem lay limply on his hips, he slowly popped each button of his shirt and raked his index finger along his torso to separate the fabric. 

Shamelessly following each movement with a bite of your bottom lip, you reclined on your side and encouraged him to continue with your sultry and beckoning eyes. His heart fluttered, feeling so small beneath your predatory gaze. After speaking with you for so long over den-den-mushi, and desperately seeking your approval with his choice words, he was certain he knew what to expect when he met with you.

He had never been so pleased to be proven wrong in his life. 

As he released the final button of his shirt, you clicked your tongue at him and pointed your index finger at the teal sash decorating his neck.

“The tie stays on,” you spoke through narrowed eyes, testing his resolve to follow your orders. He huffed out a small laugh, shaking his head as he peeled his shirt away from his skin - leaving the teal tie around his neck. He shimmied off the fabric before hooking his thumbs through his belt hoops, slowly pulling the material over his hips and down his muscular thighs. 

Hungrily and awestruck, you followed each taut flex of his impressive muscles: his forearms, his biceps, his shoulders, his pectorals, his abs, his thighs - nothing was hidden from your eyes as he continued to slowly undress himself before you. His head-shot from the World Government truly did not do him justice - a man dignified and refined, muscular and carved from slated marble. He was a sight to behold, and was anxious to receive your approval at each passing moment. 

Stepping away from his pants, Vice-Admiral Garp was standing before you in naught but his teal tie and tight undershorts. The growing pole to tent the center of his trousers had your mouth watering beneath your stoic and sultry expression: keeping your hand close to your chest to not reveal your desperation for him. 

“Does this please you, lass?” he whispered below his breath, the corner of his mouth ticking with his melancholy expression, “An old man far from his prime, humbling himself before the delicate flower of Kuraigana. Is this all ‘ye dreamed of?” His small sigh caught your ear, prompting your brows to furrow in deep thought. His eyes were focussed on the floor, unable and unwilling to tear them away to meet with your exploratory eyes. 

Vice-Admiral Garp was self conscious. He found himself unworthy to be at the receiving end of your interest, a fact that had become clearer and clearer the more the night flew on. 

“Take off your undershorts, Garp,” you ordered him, slowly rising to your knees on the mattress, “And lie back on the bed.” You witnessed as his cock twitched beneath his pants, a growl purring in the chasms of his chest as he hooked his thumbs around the hemline of his undergarments. 

Slowly shimmying down the elastic, his impressive cock sprang above the surface, slapping his abdomen with his shining mushroom tip on his belly. The slit was dripping with precum, the veins throbbing with anticipation while he bashfully lay his back down on the mattress. His cock stood to attention, knob throbbing while his shaft was hoisted in the air. He was neatly cropped, every follicle of his happy trail meticulously maintained down his stomach. 

Without much warning, you eagerly straddled his waist with a giggle of joy. A gasp of shock fled from his lips, followed by a huff of laughter as you eagerly threw your dress off your body and looked down at his reclined form. There was a hidden uncertainty within his eyes, a hopeful sheen sucking you within his orbs each moment you gazed into them.

“Now what, lass?” he questioned you, eyes searching yours as he reached up his palm to cradle your cheek, “You’ve got me pinned and helpless beneath your thighs. Does this please you? D-Do I-...” his voice trailed off, remaining uncertain as his eyes sought out deeper, unspoken desires within your own, “...-Do I please you?” 

You sighed, flipping your hair over your shoulder and looking down at him through half-hooded eyelashes. Your soft smile drew up over your features, a secret and hidden kiss’ shadow rising within the right-hand corner of your mouth - a place that immediately held Garp rendered defeated under your beautiful features. 

What began as mild lust had blossomed and flourished into something more sacred. Garp was indeed smitten with you, desperately wanting to both treat and tease you, but now that he had you - he was clawing at being a worthy partner for you to couple with. He knew you were beautiful, he knew you were intelligent, he knew you were wise - but he did not expect, upon meeting you in person, to be rendered helpless upon seeking your approval. 

Wordlessly, you sought out the tip of his glistening cock with your needy hole, slowly circling the knob without welcoming him fully into your walls. He gasped at the contact, surging forward to grasp at your thighs over his waist. Your arousal coated his tip, painting it with your own lust and propelling his sinful desires on further. 

“You’ll please me by letting me ride your thick cock until you can’t take it anymore,” you purred down at him, angling your lips to almost brush against his own, “You’ll please me by splitting me open and filling me up with every inch you’re willing to give me. You’ll please me-...” you leaned your torso down, your breasts brushing with his pectorals, nipples circling his own in a sultry dance as you hovered over his cock, “...-By allowing me the luxury of cumming on your cock, my pussy milking you of your thick load and splashing back onto your cock once it meets with my cervix.” 

Garp held his breath, furrowing his brows as he felt you inch down to claim his shined knob within your entrance. He focussed on the hitch of your breath, the swell of your heart rate, and the small whimper in your voice. He focussed on the twitch of your closed eyes and your parted lips as you sank further along his shaft. 

Although his appetite was insatiable, he would never rush you in adjusting to his girth and length. He relished in every stretch your walls made to accommodate his impressive size, focussing on how your brows knit together and breath hitched at every small move. He tried to hold back the twitch of his desperate cock, trying not to lose himself within the feeling of your cunt fluttering to adjust for his cock to fully sheathe itself within you. 

As the hilt of your crotch met with his, his cock disappearing within your fluttering cunt up to the brim, he finally allowed himself to breathe a sigh of relief at being sheathed completely within you. Grinding yourself down, you suppress a strangled moan within your throat as you feel your walls adjust and accommodate to his impressive size. Testing a small movement, you inched yourself upwards and slunk down against his shaft - a sigh mirrored within Garp’s lips as he restrained himself from fucking up into you. 

You began to slowly rake your walls up, before slamming your body back down against his groin: mutual cries of bliss falling from each other's lips as you focussed on riding his cock. You hastily drew up speed, setting a rhythm that had his hips rolling beneath your own. Your mewling cries of his name were rising into the air each time you felt his knob touch the edge of your cervix. 

His hands gripped firmly against your thighs, ushering you to bob, grind and gyrate against his cock to chase your own ecstasy. Your clit brushed with the small tuft of hair remaining at the base of his shaft, stimulating the small bud each time you drew yourself down to his crotch. 

He stared up in disbelief at the way your body responded to him. He was mesmerized at each whimper of your voice, each flutter of your eyelashes, and each slam of your aching cunt welcoming his throbbing cock within his walls. He couldn’t get enough: you were intoxicating and addictive with each writhe against him. 

Your rhythm began to get more stuttered, your body responding to the elevation of your ecstasy. Your walls began to thump against him, wringing his cock and clamping down on it as your approaching orgasm began to shudder against his shaft. His breath hitched, his own brow furrowing as he felt every pulse within your walls ushering him into his own bliss. 

As you continued to grind against him, Garp struggled to hold back against his own desires of flipping you over and stapling his hips against your own by railing your body into the plush mattress below. He did not want to destroy his good standing with you by completing such a lewd act, reacting in penance from drawing himself away from cumming into his awaiting lips, and simply chose to take each moment you gave him as a gift. 

The flutter of your cunt began squeezing his shaft, the sensitive spongy underside of your clit meeting with his knob propelling you further in the release of your incoming ecstasy. Your whimpers and cries of his name falling freely from your lips had both Garp’s cock and heart swell in pride that his body was granting you such bliss.

“G-Garp, I-I’m gonna-...” you called, clenching your eyes shut as you continued to gyrate and grind down against his cock. 

Garp’s iron will snapped, immediately hooking his arms around your waist and tackling you against the bedsheets. He caged you beneath him, plowing greedily into your shuddering walls with an eager snap of his hips. You shrieked in shock, your ecstasy being ushered in further by Garp stampeding you both towards your ends with a heavier and more controlled rhythm.

Each heavy rake of his cock within your cunt had his balls slapping against your puckered ass. At this new angle, you cried out, desperately clawing at his back and shoulders to draw him in closer to you. 

He hoisted your knee over his hip, latching his lips onto your neck and sucking a deep, angry, mark into your porcelain flesh. You cried for him, every ounce of your flesh ignited by the sparks of untamed ecstasy as you thrust your hips upwards to meet with every sharp snap of his rhythmic hips. 

“Cum for me,” he purred at you in a gruff growl, “Cry out my name.” His rhythm began to weigh heavier with each deep thrust, heavier and heavier with every staggered slam of his hips. “I want the entire base t’ know I’m makin’ ‘ye feel good. Want ‘ye fookin’ boss t’ know you’re becoming unraveled by my thick cock, ‘me bonnie lass.” 

At the mention of your boss: Mihawk’s verbal warning of having Garp cry your name in bliss echoed back to you. In a final ditch effort of having Garp cry out for you, you latched your lips onto the mark you created a few hours prior and teased the flesh with your teeth and tongue. Garp knit his brows, growling through yelping barks below his breath at how truly good you made him feel. 

“O-Ohh f-fuck, Garp. I-I’m-... ahh-... I’m c-cumming,,” you called, clawing and gnawing at his flesh like a lifeline anchoring you to the earth. He sucked in a breath feeling the twitch of his end spurting the first few moments of his orgasm within your walls. As much as he desired to pull away from your eager cunt to not risk his seed finding purchase within your walls - he simply could not help himself. He immediately began plowing harsher into you, his cock spurting his cum within you like a valve turning to release hisses of pent-up pressure. 

His voice became elevated with each staggered thrust, each subtle whimpered cry of his name coinciding with you grinding and writhing beneath him to chase your mutual highs. At one final bite of his flesh, and a particularly harsh snap of his hips, the two of you began experiencing the first realms of joint ecstasy.

“F-Fuck bonnie lass, I cannae pull out,” he roared your name, gyrating and pumping his seed deep within your cunt: splashing back spurts of his load within your needy, throbbing cunt. 

“D-Don’t you dare t-try,” you scolded him, eyes rolling back in bliss as he chased his orgasm within you. The walls of your pussy began contracting against his thick cock, shepherding him into releasing hot ropes of sticky cum within your eager walls. For every thump of your walls, you were granted by a spurt of his release within them - milking him of every fiber of his essence. 

As you both rode through your highs, the hums of your voices and gasps of your breath caught up with you. He snapped his hips forward, remaining sheathed within your glistening walls, as he raked his fingers through your hair. Your strands stuck against your forehead, your pupils blown with lust as you gulped back another cry of ecstasy as his cock throbbed within you. You sobbed, hiding your forehead against his chest as you attempted to come down from your high. 

Taking a moment to each gulp in oxygen to fill your lungs, Garp rolled from caging you beneath him, unsheathing his cock from within your pussy slowly. He looked down at your entrance, watching as it clenched to chase his retreat from your body with an eagerness he was yet to witness in some time. You were a masterpiece, a body unraveled and glistening within the realms of the afterglow in unbridled lust. He adored you. 

“You alrigh’, lass?” he asked you quietly, his lips grazing your temple as your lungs refilled with oxygen. You smiled up at him, eyes closing while your body chased his lips to feel his wired whiskers against your skin longer. You hummed at him, rolling over to your side and grazing his chest with your open hands. 

“Never better, Garp,” you cooed back at him, feeling your energy supply depleting the longer you remained comfortably within his arms. He cradled you against himself, feeling the soft song of slumber calling to him each moment you remained nestled against him. 

“And what of t’morrow?” Garp asked, his brow cocking up at the corner while he fought to keep his eyes open, “‘Ye got duties to attend, I’m sure.” 

“Dracule Mihawk has allowed me the luxury of a few days' shore leave,” you confessed, sleepily, “I don’t think I’ll be returning to my station any time soon, Vice-Admiral-.”

“-Garp, bonnie lass. It’s Garp, remember?” he cooed down at you, shimmying his body down to locate the plush duvet and nestling you both beneath it, “When you’re with me, it’s always Garp.”

“Alright, Garp,” you purred up at him, eyes hooded and feeling serenaded by sleep, “Will you stay by me tonight? Show me you still want me in the morning?” He huffed out a breath of disbelief, cradling you further against his chest and pressing a gentle kiss against your forehead.

“Rest assured, Bonnie Lass,” the rumbling drawl of his voice cooed down at you, his fingers brushing over your hair and smoothing over each strand, “I will still want you every morning.” 

Both of your warm smiles clung to your cheeks as you fell into the arms of sleep, feeling calm and at peace while clinging to one another. You had never been so pleased to be relieved of duty, your legs and body remaining blissfully numb by being plowed into by Garp’s throbbing cock. 

An apology for his rough actions came in the form of caging your hips against his face, his arms weaving over your thighs, and him welcoming you to ride his head until your voice grew hoarse from the sheer number of times he had you cry his name on his eager tongue. Enthusiastically lapping at your glistening cunt with the fervor of a man being granted the feast of a lifetime, he refused to part his lips from your glistening walls until you violently shook with a scream of his name.

When riding down your high and sobbing through your ecstasy, you looked down at his eager eyes: twinkling with mischief. Upon meeting his gaze, he kissed your thigh and cooed up at you: “Just one more? One last time before I let you go, ‘me wee bonnie lass?” for the fifth time that morning. After all, his appetite truly was insatiable.

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Can’t help but imagine menace learning about marines and being like “wait…they hate pirates and it’s their job?! Am I already employed?!” As thatch is scrambling to be like “no you can’t join the marines-“

If Garp had heard them say that then it’s on sight he’s trying to take them under his wing as a recruit and to finally have a grandkid who became a law abiding citizen lol.

Menace: ... can I hunt down and kill a specific pirate crew?

Garp: Absolutely. I'll even promote you if you take all of them out.

Menace: :)

All of the Whitebeard Pirates simultaneously: NO NO NO

Menace: :(

Ace: What we meant to say was you can do that with us! You don't need to go to the marines!

Garp: Don't ruin this for me!

[moongothic]

Many people have pointed out (in relation to Crocodad) how in Japanese the etymology of the word "wani" (crocodile) is a bit complicated to say the least and in mythology could mean a variety of things, including a shark, sea monster or a dragon

Which, of course, is quite an interesting coincidence. Crocodile does often get referred to as "wani" not just by Luffy but some other characters, and so it would be just a little funny if both of Luffy's dads were sorta kinda called dragons

There's also people pointing out how Zoro's mother was called "Tera", similar to terra (earth) and Sanji's mother was named Sora (sky). So if Luffy's birthing parent was named after a water-dwelling creature, well, it'd be cute and round out the monster trio's birthing parents in a funny way, since we'd have earth, sky and the sea

But what really is fucking me up about the whole wani-thing is the Myth of Toyotama-hime

So the TL:DR; of the myth is

The pregnant princess Toyotama came from the Ryuuguu Castle deep in the oceans onto land to give birth to her child, telling her husband that when she would give birth, she would revert back into her true form, requesting him to not look at her while she gave birth. But her husband could not keep that promise, so he peeked in on his wife, only to witness a giant wani giving birth. The sight of this horrified the husband so much he fled, while Toyotama princess was so hurt by what had happened that she returned to the sea, abandoning her child.

Indeed, this myth bringing up wani pregnancy is just. An interesting coincidence for Crocodad speculation

Of course, we know Oda borrows from mythology (fucking, Fishman Island's castle is literally the Ryuuguu Castle), so if Crocodad Real, it's genuinely plausible Oda could('ve) take(n) inspiration from that very myth

Thing about it is that though...

Like, if we're assuming Crocodile never fully realized he was trans until he got pregnant, then him transitioning either immidiately or as soon as he could after giving birth would make sense. Dude seeks out Iva-chan and gets the t-juice*, so on and so forth, but my question is like, would that have been before or after delivering the baby to Dragon (so he could then pass it onto Garp)

*(Or hell, maybe Iva-chan was there helping deliver the baby, helping Crocodile crack his own egg etc, maybe the secret Iva-chan is holding over Crocoboy's head isn't that they knew Crocodile is trans and could out them, but knowing Crocodile gave birth to god know whose child)

Because like

How did Dragon find out about his partner transitioning?

Did pre-T Crocodile tell him he was transitioning while handing over the baby? Or did he just leave without an explanation and allowed Dragon to just Take In The Change after it had happened whenever they saw each other again (if they ever did, for all we know he could've just walked away without talking to Dragon again and Dragon just found out either from Iva-chan directly or from seeing him on the news)

Or did Crocodile transition first and then deliver the baby to Dragon without any warning, again, just giving Dragon one hell pf a surprise

In any scenario, how did that even go down?

And we have to ask the sad question of... is Dragon a Bisexual King or not? And would Crocodile have been... afraid of Dragon's reaction? (This would've been a younger Crocodile mind you, who would literally have been just coming out of his shell, and that shit's scary man)

Because if Toyotama Princess is any indicator, this wani's relationship did not end well after her truth was revealed

Like, let's say Crocodile transitioned first and then showed up without warning as a man to Dragon to hand over the baby. Thing is, while we know VERY LITTLE about Dragon still, I can't imagine him being like violently transphobic or even lashing out at his partner when he'd come out. But I could imagine him being so shocked he'd be left utterly speechless.

And I'm not entirely sure which would be worse; Dragon outright but "kindly" telling Crocodile he's not into men and breaking the poor bastard's heart, or Bi!Dragon being too shocked to say anything, letting Crocodile to just jump to conclusions based on his reaction (and maybe then causing Dragon to jump into further conclusions (that Crocodile must actually be into women)), unintentionally causing a divorce out of sheer misunderstanding and literal lack of communication

And the sad part is, considdering Dragon is a very secretive man, who according to the Crocodad Theory can't even have told his partner his full name mind you... The miscommunication seems very plausible to me?? Does it not?

Or, maybe Crocodile delivered the baby to Dragon pre-T and told him he's going to Iva-chan without further explanation, jumping into conclusions, afraid to hear what Dragon would say. So he just leaves without explaining before Dragon gets to say a word. And Dragon just accepts it. Assuming he's the one getting dumped.

Either way, whatever might've happened can't have been good, can it

Also, considdering Garp is a fucking idiot (affectionate), and Luffy clearly inherited The Stupid from his grandfather, I would not be surprised if Dragon was also actually a bit of a himbo underneath that serious face he puts on (either that or Crocodile kept on smoking while pregnant)

Which could also turn what would otherwise be a tragic miscommunication into an absolute comedy if Crocodile and Dragon ever met again and the two realized that they're both idiots who jumped into conclusions and ruined their marriage by refusing to talk about their fucking feelings to each other. This is an absolute trainwreck of a family

But considdering the things Crocodile has done by this point*, would it ever even be possible for the two to reconcile?? Because, althought Dragon is pro-overthrowing corrupt governments especially if they're affiliated with the World Government, from what I can tell, he's still against unnececary violence (Vegapunk even comments that Dragon "hates war" in a flashback) and needless loss of life. And Crocodile caused just that.

*And I don't even mean the failed attempt at taking over Alabasta, I mean the drought Crocodile caused that caused countless people to starve to death and then caused the civil war which had already taken lives and permanently disabled people BEFORE the Strawhats ever even get to Alabasta. Like Crocodile's bomb may have been a dud but he still caused people to die for no reason, and I can't imagine Dragon being fine with that. But then again, Robin and other Baroque Works members also contributed to the loss of life and their sins have been neatly swept under the rug so IDK

And like. We don't know if Crocodile moonlighted as a Revolutionary for like 10+ years after Luffy was born and slowly went out of contact or if he just left immidiately. But theoretically, the two might not have even seen each other in like almost 20 years

That'd be a long time to carry a broken heart

How the fuck would you even heal from that

Also like

Crocodile did seem a little suicidal at Impel Down if I'm being honest

Like.

He had a dream of becoming Pirate King. But he lost to Whitebeard, and his dreams were ruined.

Dude had a master plan to take over a country that took him almost a decade to pull off, only for it to get wrecked in the final hour by a literal child.

His useless underlings then come and try to break him out of prison

And he chooses to stay

When we finally see his face for the first time in Impel Down... His mouth might be forming a smile, but those eyes aren't

And he even says it himself

"I didn't think there'd be anything for me to do if I were free"

Is it not like he has given up on life entirely..?

And sure, he does ask to be let out so he can get revenge on Whitebeard, but was it out of a genuine belief he could actually take down the old man or just a slightly more fun way to die than rotting away in prison for the next few decades?

You know the saying, "to be loved is to be changed"

Frankly, the same goes for the reverse. Being unloved, or believing yourself to be unloveable will change you. For the worse

[asitrita]

One Piece Harry Potter AU (Hogwarts Houses) SPOILERS!

Ok ok ok, so first, I'm new to the one piece fandom. I actually have known One Piece for over a decade, and even watched the first chapters (actually, I watched till just the end of Arlong park arc, and maybe I did spoil myself the entire Doffy/Cora/Law backstories because I randomly found out about them and felt in love with the three of them immediately), and I was familiar with some characters, but I wasn't really into it till the live action, and now I'm just obsessed, lol. So just mind this is just my personal headcanon, and I do not intent to force my view of these characters on anyone. Also, SPOILERS, SPOILERS, SPOILERS. Please, refrain from reading if you're not up to date with the manga.

Thing is, I also love Harry Potter, and I was wondering what house some of the characters would be assigned to and this is more or less what I've came up with. Also, since J.K.Rowling confirmed that hybrid houses would kinda be a bit more accurate, I will assign to some characters (most, actually) a mixed house alongside the house I imagine they would be assigned to according to the classical 4 house system. Let's see:

Luffy: Slytherin. "I'm gonna be king of the pirates". Okay boy, we hear you. Also, he won't share his food. Hybrid house: Slytherpuff. I mean, going around doing unintended but still good deeds, his ability to make friends and make people follow him, plus the reciprocal support and loyalty he gives his friends. However, I'm not entirely sure Luffy needs a hybrid house, I feel he's a solid Slytherin, tbh, we know they can also be charismatic and draw people in to follow them. So take the hybrid house with a pinch of salt, I feel Slytherin fits him just right.

Zoro: Hufflepuff. Tbh, it was actually a bit hard for me to choose Zoro's house, I'm not that well acquinted with Zoro, so maybe I'm missing out on this one, but, though he does seems a little Slytherin-like to me, or even Gryffindor (the whole swordman code of honour and all that), Hufflepuff wins this over. He is hardworking and loyal, and he tries to keep things logical (iykyk). Maybe not exactly just, or empathic, but still objective and practical. I feel it does fall into Hufflepuff sense of fairness. Also, Hufflepuffs make a good companion for Slytherins, so him beign Luffy's first mate plays into it. Hybrid house: Slytherpuf. Just like Luffy. "I'm gonna be the best swordman in the world". Say no more. He sure is very hardworking and loyal, but he is also ambitious, and at least as a kid, he was pretty... intense about it XD Heck, even as a teen/young adult he is. However, just like in Luffy's case, I think Zoro would make a solid Hufflepuff.

Nami: Ravenclaw. She's kinda the brains of the group, at least at the begining, and she is quite witty and cunning. I thought about Slytherin because of her being a thief and the cunning aspect of her personality, but it was a bit too obvious for my liking, and I think her personality goes a bit in a different direction when you dig deeper. Hybrid house: Ravendor. I don't know, she just has a Griffindor vibe to me, even if she's a little bit of a "coward" (more like, she's not stupid, tbh), but she did face up to Arlong, and her ambition to save her village all by herself all those years kinda strikes me as a Griffindor; not like a Ravenclaw couldn't do the same (or a Slytherin, she sure had to do a lot of shit when she was part of Arlong's pirates, she was all for gaining her island's freedom at all costs), but there's something in Nami's personality that I find Gryffindor fitting? Hope it's not the ginger bias, lol (although it could be the live action bias). Maybe it's just me, though.

Ussop: Gryffindor. He's kinda the Neville Longbottom of One Piece. I say kinda because both characters are pretty different, but there're undeniable similarities between the two of them. Also, it was stated that you could also be assigned to the house which values you valued the most, and Ussop dream is basically to become a brave pirate captain, so, from that pov, this house fits him like a glove.

Sanji: Gryffindor. That's it. He's a noble knight in shiny armour. He's Gryffindor poster boy. His backstory, how he faces up to his family, but honestly, his entire personality and demeanor and code just scream Gryffindor to me. He's so sweet (more so in the LA) that I was tempted into making him a hybrid with Hufflepuff, but who said Gryffindors can't be sweet? He's a Gryffindor through and through.

Ace: Gryffindor. He feels like a Gryffindor to me. He's a dork, he's brave, he thinks himself a hero, carries himself as such, he's hot-headed, and in the end, that's his downfall. Whatever, I just feel his face would come up first when searching for Griffndor boy in Google.

Coby: Hufflepuff. He's a hard worker and dreams of justice, he's loyal and strong-willed. Plus, he's adorable and a loving child, he's a Hufflepuff u.u Sure, I could make him a hybrid with Gryffindor, as he is brave (he stands against his friend, Luffy, that's part of his arc), but I think most of his personality traits linger strongly on the Hufflepuff side, so I see no need to give him a hybrid house.

Helmeppo: Slytherin. This was so hard, because at the begining he seems to fit the Slytherin stereotype quite a lot, but he does change a lot. And sure, Slytherins can be decent people too (again, to me, going by classic sorting, Luffy is a Slytherin through and through), but there's something else to his character. And that's why... Hybrid house: Slytherpuff. He becomes a very hard-working, just, and loyal individual. Maybe his true nature was hidden behind all that horrible nurturing he got, who knows. He still is at least partially a Slytherin, though (btw, I love him in the la, the actor really made the character stand up).

Garp: Gryffindor. He's mad as a hatter hahahahaha but I love him. He's brave, has a strong feeling of justice, a strict but fair moral code, and he comes up as a bit impulsive. But he has this hero complex going on too, as well as hero guilt (not sure that's a thing, but I hope you get what I mean). Him backing down from becoming an admiral because he believes in freedom and doesn't want to follow orders he already knows he won't like so he can be free to follow a more morally aceptable and chivalric path strikes me as very Gryffindor coded. That sense of justice also strikes me as Hufflepuff-like, but considering the rest of his personality traits, I think Gryffindor suits him best.

Mihawk: Ravenclaw. This was a super tough one. I was so tempted to just throw him into Hufflepuff. Sure, Hufflepuff house values are loyalty, fairness, justice (Doffy knows) and hardwok, but it was said this house would also accept any student that didn't quite fit the other houses, and Jesus, Mihawk was so hard, plus he lives a calm life growing vegetables (smells like a Hufflepuff if you ask me). Problem is, he really doesn't give much of a flying f*ck about anything so... Ravenclaw XD For whatever reason, I do see people from this house being the ones more capable of living an isolated monastery-like life, and that's exactly what Mihawk does, except his life is more of a cementery-like one, plus he has a ghost daughter XD It is also the house that gives me the most "I couldn't care less about politics, you, or your family" vibe out of them all XD Plus, he's a little b*tch with Shanks, not wanting to fight him only because he lost an arm (sure, he appeals to the honour code of a swordman and whatnot, but it still smells fishy to me u.u), and that kinda gives me a Ravenclaw vibe too. Hybrid house: Ravenpuff. Again, he lives calmly, actually acts with honour, kindness and fairness, taking Zoro in and training him, even when he knows Zoro's to become his rival and most probably take his title in a near future; and he values determination, hard work, and fairness in a fight, and again, he grows vegetables, knows how to cook, and enjoys a good wine. That's a Hufflepuff.

Shanks: Gryffindor. He IS a Gryffindor. Golden boy Shanks. I know some people enjoy the idea of him being a Slytherin, and though I do see the appeal of it and it would definitely fit some aspects of his personality (the cunning rat he is), this guy could be a poster boy Gryffindor. His hero complex is also quite obvious (though, truth be told, that burden was bestowed into him since he was a child). His ambition (obvious by his conqueror haki) could play into a Slytherin personality, but it also has a very strong Gryffindor vibe to it. And I said could, yes. Hybrid house: Gryffinpuff. Have you seen him as a kid in the Oro Jackson? How Buggy teased him about being too soft and naive? Sure, Gryffindors can be soft, but kid Shanks is just so Hufflepuff to me. As an adult, his laid-back, goofy, extrovert, affable and charming demeanour also reminds me of a Hufflepuff. Again, people from all four houses can show traits of other houses, there's no clear cut, so Shanks could just be a Gryffindor. But, honestly? I feel he could even be just a Hufflepuff, I would 100% support Hufflepuff Shanks hc too, my sweet alcoholic golden boy (I just don't want his fate to be that of Cedric T_T). Seriously, he IS a Griffindor, but he IS a Hufflepuff too. And that's why I definitely believe this hybrid house suits him the best, it reunites most traits of his personality perfectly.

Buggy: Ravenclaw. I mean, it matches his pretty long hair. Ok, no, but truly, he's a Ravenclaw. He is witty, he is smart, he's creative, he's a showman. His charisma and everything about him, including his goofiness and drastic humor changes, for whatever reason, strike me as Ravenclaw-like. I can think of a charismatic character who belonged to the Ravenclaw house that used his wit and quackery to fool everyone. Plus, as a child he seems to have been more observant and perceptive than Shanks, which makes him seem "wiser" in a weird way; plus he is also very crafty (buggy balls anyone?). He also likes to avoid fighting, be it because he thinks fighting unnnecesary or suicidal, which is quite "clever" of him. True, even in the direst circumstances he gets himself into trouble for not being able to shut his big mouth, but that's just his bombastic personality and caothic nature getting the best of him, he's just a passionate guy, the boy can't help it. Despite what some may think, despite he's egocentric and semi megalomaniac personality, he's also well aware of his weaknesses (I mean, his inferiority complex is quite obvious), and he isn't fond of attention if he hasn't planned for it beforehand. This is obvious by his reaction to all the attention he was attracting after escaping Impel Down, everybody claiming how great he must have been, for he was a former memeber of Roger's crew, a "brother" to Shanks and a close acquaintance of Rayleigh. Yet, he was so shy about it, and reluctant to take in all that attention, till he thought about it and planned a way to take advantage of the situation. A bit delusional, but still a quick-thinking clever guy. Hybrid house: Slytherclaw. Yep, he is also ambitious, and even with his whole inferiority complex and obvious weakness he aspires to be pirate king. He loves treasures and shiny things (actually, this sounds a lot like a magpie, which are close relatives of ravens, and yes I know Ravenclaw's pet is a bronce eagle, but there's still a raven in the name). And again, he is very witty, but also selfish, and he is not beyond abandoning everyone and everything to save his ass. Also, Buggy loves the sea, he would probably like Slytherin common room with its underwater views of the lake and mermaids. It would remind him of the ocean, he would be so happy there (I just want the lil silly clown to be happy u.u). Slytherin is a house associated with water, and we know Buggy was a very good swimer, and he surely loves the sea and the freedom it gives him (by now we all know the real reason why Buggy holds a grudge against Shanks is not exactly sea-related, but I'm pretty sure he still regrets what happened to some extent, though he probably, and rightfully so, blames his dumb self for that). Also, loving the sea, and loving treasure maps, also adds to my Ravenclaw headcanon, because I associate Ravenclaw with the sky, constelations, astronomy, star maps, etc., and to sail you defnitely need to know how to map the sky, and I feel that's something Buggy would be pretty good at, he seems to enjoy maps a lot (same logic applies to Nami, btw, she loves money, but she certainly values map knowledge above money). So yeah, hybrid house for Buggy, definitely. I think these two houses complement each other very well in Buggy's personality and character, similar to how I really like a hybrid house for Shanks (and they would complement each other so well, being from the exact opposite houses).

Roger: Gryffindor. The King, the Hero, the Legend. I don't know, it just fits him right. He's brave, he is hot-headed, he jumps into the fight without thinking. The way he's praised as a hero, with so many followers with that last stunt he pulled off right before kicking the bucket. That's very Gryffindor of him. Whatever went down in God Valley, why Roger decided to side with the Marine, why he didn't side with Xebec against the Celestial Dragons and World Gobernment, got me thinking. We still don't know what really happened there, I feel like the reason behind Roger's actions could change my mind about his house, but as it is for now, I think Gryffindor fits him good.

Rayleigh: Hufflepuff. He's the calm guy. Sure, he fights, and he's a menace, but what he finally wished for was to live peacefully in a calm island for the rest of his life. He's so chill and also fun, and enjoys a good party. Hufflepuff for the Dark King. Hybrid house: Ravenpuff. I don't know, he just has this "wise" bive to him. Maybe it is because of how he wants to have a nice, calm life as an adult. Also his calm and softer demeanour around Roger. I feel a wise and calm partner would be a good contrast to Roger's Gryffindor personality.

Crocodile: Slytherin. He's a snake. Not a crocodile, but still a reptile. Seriously, he's ambitious, he's maffia boss level, he gotta be Slytherin. Hybrid house: Slytherclaw. He's smart, cunning, and has experience. He manages bussiness with expertise, he just has that ravenclaw vibe to him. Plus, I just find the idea of Buggy and Crocodile being in the same house hilarious. At first sight no one would even phantom these two characters to have anything in common, nor his personalities to be somewhat compatible or similar in any way or form, yet this hybrid house fits them both like a glove.

Doflamingo: Slytherin. I mean... I hope the giant fish bowl that is the common room reminds him of the fashion back home.

Corazón: Hufflepuff. The boy is all heart. He believes in justice (heck, he's a marine), he's good-hearted, golden-hearted even, basically, a cinamon roll. He's also most probably a pretty hard worker, and he risked his integrity for a kid he didn't even know all that well. Also, he's a "trickster", so to speak. He must be a Hufflepuff, no doubt. Hybrid house: Gryffinpuff. He has a lot of the traits of a Gryffindor. You can't deny he's brave. He overcomes trauma as a child, and is willing to revive it and face his brother, spying for the marine, while dealing with Doffy's crazyness, and then he makes the selfless decision to save Law no matter what, at risk of his own life. He also feels he has some type of responsability regarding his borther's actions, when he truly doesn't, but taking responsability for things you're not really responsible for due to some sort of self inflicted guilt tripping type of torture sounds pretty Gryffindor to me, plus the "I must save the world from my evil brother, and because he's my blood brother, it must be me who faces and stops him" also strikes me as very Griffyndor-like. As I said many times before, I know some traits are shared between houses, and can apppear in members of different houses, but Corazón is definitely at least partially a Gryffindor. This would also explain his betrayal, Hufflepuffs are supposed to be loyal, I'm with Doffy in this one u.u (though I guess he never truly commited treason, as he was never on Doffy's side to begin with, lol).

Law: Ravenclaw. To be honest, a friend convince me of this one, I was so unsure and conflicted about him. But yes, I think Ravenclaw suits him well. His background as the child of doctors, and wanting to follow their parents' steps works out with a Ravenclaw personality. He's knowledge starved, and he's smart and witty, even a bit manipulative. Hybrid house: Slytherclaw. There's no way to avoid Law's ambition for knowledge. He is also quite determined in his path to avenge Corazón and bring down Doflamingo's downfall no matter what. I know determination is more of a Gryffindor and Hufflepuff trait, but it also goes well with Slytherin's desires to get their way, take what they want, and achieve whatever they've set themselves to (which is why Luffy is definitely a Slytherin too).

Aaaand this is all for now, it was already quite long, I may do a second list with the remaining mugiwaras and maybe some other characters I like :)

[yandlove847]

Dead garp au on crack @im-goofball

Xebec:oh your approaching me.....?

Roger:I couldn't beat the living the shit out of you without getting closer....

Xebec:well come closer as you want you little shit!

Garp:for the love of fucking god it's 1am you morons!

Xebec After meeting garp for a years after his death wanted to hug him but still beef with your younger sibling Roger

(should I make part 2 to do this...?)

[hauntingblue]

Garp: my children are going to be good marines

The children: making pit fights in the forest

[verytendou]

I think one piece should have functioning phones just bc i think the texts the characters would send each other would be off the wall insane

[marinehero-a]

garp somehow takes his job both incredibly seriously and absolutely not at all, literal walking shitpost of a vice-admiral and love that for him

[diminuel]

It seems I've been put into the One Piece fandom to be a menace. So have some girl Garp. X'D

(Here's some context but I don't think it makes it much better *lol* But... I'm strangely into it. Save me.)

[andreawritesit]

My sister hasn't watched One Piece yet but she wanted to see the Live Action and so she did. One thing she asked me was that why is Garp always so angry.

I cannot tell her that the reason he's so angry all the time is because all his offsprings, blood-related as well as adopted, became notorious wanted men lmaoo. Between Monkey D. (world's most wanted man) Dragon, Portgas D. (Fire-fist) Ace, Monkey D. (Future Pirate King) Luffy, and Sabo the actual menace, I'm surprised Garp is still somewhat sane.

[wordy-little-witch]

Incorrect quotes bc I need some dopamine-

It's long and this is a mix of shit I've heard in my life, random scenes my brain conjures up, and the result of a ridiculous amount of cold medicine.

Roger pirates edition!!!!

Roger: hey buglet, what have you got there?

Buggy: a bomb! :o3

Roger: .... ah. Seems like something a responsible parent would never let their child play with.

Buggy: :o(

Roger: good thing I'm a captain!

Buggy: :oD

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shanks: Bugs?

Buggy: what?

Shanks: would you love me if I was a worm?

Buggy: .... hmmm....

Shanks: you have to think about it?!??

Buggy: well duh! We're pirates! We're on a pirate ship, dumbass! How would I keep a worm alive, let alone happy and safe, on a pirate ship?? Not to mention all the different species of worms! What kind of worm would you be?? What kind of care would you need? It's a big question- *goes on a tangent about worms, worm care, and is slowly working himself into a panic*

Shanks, who just heard a landlocked girl ask her boyfriend it and wanted to ask buggy bc he thought it would annoy him: .... a h

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Rayleigh: .... what do you have there, Captain?

Roger, holding a baby in a treasure chest and another, smaller baby in his sash: an ADVENTURE!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Gabban, trying to teach the kids their numbers: one~ twoo~ threeee~

Shanks: t'wee!!!

Gabban: right! And what comes after three? Do you know, Buggy?

Buggy, with the confidence of a pirate toddler: FUCK!!

Gabban:

Rayleigh, appearing out of thin air, menacing smile in place: :)

Gabban: :/

Buggy and Shanks: :D fuck fuck fuck!!!

Rayleigh: remind me to kill Roger later, please.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Crocus: alright boys. Let's work on that math, okay? So, Bug, if you had seven treasure chests-

Buggy: yesss!!!

Crocus: focus! Seven treasure chests. Now Shanks asks for three of them. How many treasure chests would you have left?

Buggy: seven.

Crocus: no, Shanks asked for three of them.

Shanks: it's okay, Buggy, you can keep your treasure!

Crocus: no- I- okay, Buggy has seven chests. I ask for three of them. How many do you have left?

Buggy: seven.

Crocus: okay, I'm not asking, I am taking the three treasure chests by force. How many do you have now.

Buggy: seven and a corpse.

Crocus: .....

Shanks: ......

Buggy: ......

Crocus: ................ is this why Rayleigh made math time my job

Buggy: probably. I bit him last time.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Whitebeard: Roger! I never expected you to take on children! Taking a page from my book, are you?

Roger: something like that hahaha! Eddie, meet my brats! This redhead here is Shanks, he's a tough little cookie.

Shanks: hi!!

Roger: and the bluebelle here is Buggy. He's my little cupcake!!

Whitebeard: aw, because he's small and sweet?

Roger, smiling widely: no, because cupcakes can easily contain many varieties of mortal harm, I have learned, and he is small, cute and deadly.

Buggy, pouting: it was one time!!

Roger: three times, and that's not counting that one time with Garp and the arsenic

Buggy: >:o/

Whitebeard:

The Whitebeard pirates:

Roger: isn't he the cutest??

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Marco: GET YOUR FUCKIN CLOWN-

Shanks: he don't bite

Marco, trying desperately to shake Buggy off of his leg: YES HE DO, HELP-

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy, 3 years old, slams his sippy cup onto the table top: I need a dwink.

Sunbell, trying not to laugh: aw, what's up, little man?

Buggy: S'anks is twyin' my patience. Gimme da good stuffs.

Sunbell: okay. Apple juice or-

Buggy: wum.

Sunbell:

Buggy:

Sunbell: baby bug, rum is for grown ups. How about some milk?

Buggy: no. Papa Rayray has wum when cap'in is being extra dumb. And S'anks is being extra EXTRA dumb ri' now. I need wum.

Sunbell: ...... alright then-

((He does not in face give Buggy rum, but he DOES make a point of saving a small rum bottle to fill with cranberry juice for future reference.))

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Rayleigh: hey, buddy, what's wrong?

Buggy: I have a headache that comes and goes.

Ray: aw, here, let's go to Crocus-

Shanks: hi, Buggy!!

Buggy: there it is.

Rayleigh: ..... yeah Crocus can't help with that.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy, laying on the deck at 3 in the morning:

Roger: bugababy, what are you doing up?

Buggy: what is the point of life, if not only to suffer? What is the purpose of being here if it's all a cyclical preordained destiny of agony and heartache? Why would the Spirits see fit to put us into this hellscape if not for their own sick amusement-?

Roger: Buggy, is this because Shanks ate your gummy worms?

Buggy: that red haired fucker knew they were mine-!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shanks: hey, Captain? How does one confess their undying love to someone?

Roger: just because I'm with Rouge doesn't mean I know how it happened, son.

MEANWHILE

Buggy: hey, mom?

Rouge: yes, ma fleur?

Buggy: I think Shanks is in love with me.

Rouge: neat. Do you love him too?

Buggy: unfortunately.

Rouge: nice.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Rayleigh: I didn't choose parent life. Parent life came to me, mid-drink, in the form of an unhinged adult man, and then expanded further with the addition of two tiny humans.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Roger, with Shanks in a front facing baby carrier: you know what's cute than one baby?

Random pirate enemy, trying to figure out why this man showed up to a fight with a baby:

Roger, turning to show Buggy in a carrier on his back: two babies!!!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy @ Garp: were it not for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.

Gabban:

Shanks:

Rayleigh:

Roger: I mean.... we're pirates, so laws-

Garp, sweating, who just set down a draw 4 in Oro Uno: No, kid's right, gotta listen to the law

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Rayleigh: I have no fear

Shanks, pale and shaking: Buggy hasn't slept in two days he's making bombs

Rayleigh: I have several fears.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sengoku: Garp, you've been acting strange ever since you came back from your last excursion.

Garp: no i haven't.

Sengoku: you just leveled a circus tent after seeing a bunch of clowns.

Garp, having flashbacks to being bitten by a tiny clown, thousand yard stare: their joyful levity is a lie

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: if I had a nickel for every time I had a traumatic experience on this damn crew, I'd have enough to pay for my therapy bills.

Shanks: if I had a nickel for every traumatizing experience I had here, I'd have enough to pay for my drinking problem.

Gabban, looking at the 11 year olds: .... maybe pirates aren't built for being parents.......

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Whitebeard: I fear no man.

Also Whitebeard, thinking on that first time he interacted with Buggy one on one: but that thing..... it scares me.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

BONUS CROSS GUILD CONTENT

Buggy: it's hard being Easy, Breezy, Beautiful, Cover Girl, but a bitch makes due

Crocodile: how did you survive this far

Buggy: I may have had rabies

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Mihawk: why does Shanks huddle in a corner when someone plays circus music

Buggy: bullseyes are red.

Mihawk: what does that have to do with-

Buggy: throws a knife and hits dead center of an apple, some unknown source playing circus music in the background

Mihawk:

Buggy:

Mihawk: this explain so much and yet so little

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Crocodile: have you been sneaking money

Buggy: I would love to do that, but unfortunately the clap of my big dumpy cheeks would alert you to my hiding place.

Mihawk, fighting a migraine: do you ever think before you speak

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: hey, want a card reading?

Crocodile: a what

Mihawk: you read cards?

Buggy, laying a card down: oh, look it's a Caterpie.

Croc+Hawk:

Buggy: I means you're a douchebag.

((Buggy does in fact read tarot cards, smth he and Mihawk eventually bond over))

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy, after almost dying part 2847164917: no mister reaper we have to stop meeting like this....

The guy who just shot him with seastone: what the fu-

[munyequitos]

INTRODUCING MUNYEQUITOS SAMSTRONOMY ONE PIECE MIDDLE SCHOOL AU :3 (or msopms for short!!)

i put way too much effort into these refs but msopms has been being cooked up since like july i think LOL. anyway check out @samstronomy for the other half of the strawhats msopms references (which can be found here)!!! i'll tag all posts about them with #msopms and link back to this post as reference to what the FUCK im talking about! more information + tidbits about msopms under the cut cause this post is already long enough as is :3

all of them are transgender its like the glue that holds them together

all their guardians are the same as in canon

yes this means garp is still luffy's grandpa

garp's the principal of grand line middle school (the school they all go to)

garp wanted luffy and ace to join the navy so bad he made ace sign up for those stupid military text alerts and ace just trolled them the entire time

ace is luffy's older brother who is in high school and all the younger strawhats think he's cool exclusively cause he's older than them

luffy is so incredibly cracked at PE that he often laps nami and usopp during their mile runs

nami is an absolute menace and loaded at all times. she buys the strawhats snacks from the cafeteria

luffy has a flip phone (against his will garp makes him use one so he can call him during class to be like "WHY AREN'T YOU IN CLASS!!!!!"), nami has a regular smartphone, usopp has a dying ipad he uses to draw and text, robin has a flip phone (but it's one of those cool android ones. and also not against her will), and chopper has a non-dying ipad he uses to text and also take homework notes

crocodile hates all the strawhats by association with vivi (he has one sided dinkleberg-esque beef with cobra)

luffy met nami after he beat up some of her bullies for her, he's known usopp since like 1st grade, he met robin in detention which crocodile put her in for talking back to him (she 100% did not do that), and met chopper when taking nami to the school nurses office when she was gravely ill with the common cold

there's an enies lobby (kinda) plot where robin has to become a hall monitor in order to pay back her book debt to the school board (CP9) and the strawhats all have this emotional dramatic ass moment in the school hallway

OKAY I THINK THAT'S IT. if you've made it this far thank you for reading, please enjoy msopms!

[rollinouttahere-writes]

I feel like Ace calls up Garp and asks him for Dadan's number so he can ask her for advice with feral unhinged chaotic children and Dadan is like GOD IS REAL AND HE'S GETTING REVENGE FOR WHAT YOU AND YOUR BROTHERS PUT ME THROUGH

AKSJFHSHSHSK

Dadan is cackling and asking how many times Ace has been bitten and then laughs even louder when he answers. She does want to see Menace, but ideally only after they've been tamed at least a little.

Garp tried to offer his own input and got extremely offended when Ace just hung up on him.

[melkyt]

It would be so fun to twist canon for an unhinged 'evil marine' Luffy au where instead of the one piece, he wants to take the empty throne

Garp got him to join the marines but Luffy is still a menace, even more then a menace, a marine going around freeing countries from the World Goverment he serves and announcing that the elders should watch out

The world goverment cant do anything because every marine he encounters loves him and will get radicalized to follow him if they put a bounty on him, the elders are going through it as they also cant let his fruit slip away, and attempts killing him just ended up with alot of dead agents so they just try to clean up the aftermath and keep it quiet

Luffy, still a kid like:

*a true menace that is going to sit on the empty throne one day, imu better watch out* xd

[local-loser-clown]

Little Dragon was more of a menace then his son.

When Sengoku started to refuse looking after Dragon so Garp just left him in the forest instead. It didn't take long before Sengoku started looking after him again after finding out how Garp was leaving him

[yandlove847]

*In dead garp au*inspired @im-goofball

Roger: xebec can you stop this chaos right now!

Xebec:naw I'm good(xebec holds garp hand not ship but xebec just missies garp his brother)

Roger: xebec you son of bitch!

Garp:(still got amnesia after he drank the poison that's the side effects)