#garden of peeden

[wtf-tfw]

THE BIBBLE PART 1

On the first day, God made zest. From that zest he was able to bless. From those bless he did his best to create the chest of the best of the best. And on the second day, God decided to stop rhyming because he wasn't very good at that. From there his productivity skyrocketed, what with all the free time generated from not having to come up with rhymes, his sister was right, it was a stupud gimmick anyways. Next he invented the tree, the bouncy ball, flowers and rabbits, cookies and cream, eggs and telephones, unmanned machine guns, rapid growth boyfriend capsules, and classical music. His army of little gay sky babies worked day in and day out to fabricate the Things for the world. It was God's world and he was going to decorate it however he wanted. On the third day, God had hot girl artist burnout and was like "UGHHHH I really already exhausted all my best ideas this suckkssss" so he phoned his sister and she said "Well why don't you make people?"

"People?" God said.

"Yeah, you know, people! Three legs, little genital things, weird skin, all 'bleaghh i have to go to work!' and all that" said God's sister.

And God thanked his sister for the idea and hung up, only to shortly thereafter roll his eyes because three legs?? What was she thinking, that was clearly overkill. But he got to work anyways cauze his sister was prety cool overall she knew what she was talking about.

---

in the GARDEN of PEEDEN,

Peeve, the woman-type and Tinkle-Adam the man-bug. They explored the GARDEN and found it to be full of swag. They said "I love this- thanks God, its just like America should be: one man and one woman!"

God tutted at this and set down his shrimp poke bowl. Why were they already being weird little conservatives instead of freaking that shit nasty style. Its like he got this party goin for nothign?! And he begged and begged for them to eat the fruit of the Freak Tree so that theyd eat the Freak Fruit and become nasty little freaks who like sloppy style makeouts and smoking clove cigarettes in caves but they were always like "No. No God, we aren't into that kind of thing" And God was so disappointed. So he called his sister and she was like "You have to assert your dominance man, you can't let those little tightasses control you okay. Let them know who's boss." And God said okay.

Peeve shouted and cried as God took her rib from her. Tinkle-Adam screeched in pain as a testicle was taken from him (now he only had two) Using the rib and the testicle, God made the third Human, Gobbler. Gobbler was going to fix everything, so the punishment of pain and the blessing of Gobbler was really a two in one. Gobbler was a nasty little freak who liked beer and humping things and God thought he was Awesome with a capital A.

Gobbler was releaseed into the Garden of Peeden. And immediately he was like "OH this is the releast, Bruv!" (He called God 'Bruv' because he was made that way) Gobbler taught Tinkle-Adam the joys of beef-eating and Peeve the joys of rump-roasting. The three enjoyed a number of beef-related hobbies together. Take that as you will.

But one day, the Regular Devil from a book known as the Bible became real in the world and said "No, no no! You are doing this so very wrong! You are raising a bunch of imbecilic hoodlums! Stop this nonsense immediately!" And the Regular Devil blasted the creatures with Shame and suddenly they all became aware of their weird penises.

God used his Authority though, and shooed the Regular Devil out of his work of fiction. What a prick! But it was too late, the humans had already noticed their weird penises and they no longer could enjoy the beautiful snails and shrimps and sailboats and mosquitoes and acoustic guitars and bonfires and magic erasers and tattoo parlors and hamburger patties of the Garden of Peeden anymore. They were just too ashamed of their weird penises.

And God was like "I'm--I'm so sorry about that you guys. Tinkle-Adam, Peeve, Gobbler, are you guys like...good?" And Tinkle-Adam scratched his neck and looked to the side. Peeve wouldn't make eye contact with him anymore. These two were back to their old stick-up-their-ass-but-not-in-the-fun-way ways again. "S-Surely not you too, Gobbler!" But Gobbler did not look at God. He simply looked at his weird penis. He sat down, and was absorbed into the Earth, never to be seen again.

It was so over. It was so astronomically over. God's sister wasn't answering his calls. He was so fucked, dude. Peeve made the big decision to leave the Garden of Peeden, and Tinkle-Adam followed with her. Hoping that maybe the rest of the crazy world God had created would help to reunite that spark of joy they had time with Gobbler in the Garden.

Eventually they found it in themselves to get freaky again a couple more times....but that's a story for part TWO!

---

[pedge-page]

Pedge-Page MASTERLIST

All fics are explicit content: 18 + ONLY, MINORS DNI

🔸️- indicates new

Joel Miller

Rough Day tags: freeuse, rough to soft Joel

Swim Lessons tags: friends to lovers, teasing, shower sex

There's Only One Joel Miller tags: posessive, dubcon, slight breeding

Mother who Provides , Mother Who Indulges , Extra Helpings tags: sub!Joel, breastfeeding, mommy kink

You Please, My Pleasure tags: Sub!Joel, Mommy Kink

Pregnancy Ft Tommy, Breakfast Bunch tags: pregnancy, sharing, cucking, breastfeeding, breeding

Bloodkink!Joel tags: fear, blood licking, toxic

Discipline tags: sub!Joel, ball torture, hands free orgasm

Live a Little, Give a Little, More [part 2] public sex, exhibitionist, strangers

lactation tags: preganncy, breastfeeding

belly bump tags: pregnancy, cumplay

featuring Tess tags: pregnancy, forced breeding

Lactation 2 tags: breastfeeding, hands free orgasm, breeding

Milk Run tags: breastfeeding, sub!joel, public

Fat!Joel

Joel Knows Best tags: oral, dumbification

cult!Joel drabble tags: cult, breeding, breastfeeding

New Heights tags: fwb, intox, cheating

Daddies, Daddies, Daddies tags: infidelity, step!dad, breeding

Whatever You Say tags: step!dad, sub!Joel, voyuerism

Nobody Knows My Girlfriend is a Werewolf

Sub/Himbo!Joel: Safe, Closer , Statement, Mine is Mine, Over the Edge, Humpty Dumpty Different Kind of Lovin tags: sub!Joel, breeding, Mommy kink

Piss Kink : piss kink 1, piss kink 2, piss kink 3, foot job drabble , Thirsty! , piss kink 4, PlushiesxPK Crossover, Shared Room, Puppy Lessons, PlushiesxPKxPregnant Crossover, The Garden of Peeden, Don't Be Shy, Puddles, Different Kind of Lovin (himbo) , tags: piss kink, occasional sub!Joel

Adventures in "Joel Dealing with his Preggo Wife" masterlist - (updated 8/17)

Plushies Series Masterlist - (updated 7/1)

Best Man Series Masterlist - (updated 4/19)

Other drabbles: horse, reversal, lap, training, slaver, hard to get, little pill, dreams, bimbo, converse

Extras: babee, soccer mom, Sarah's crush, helper, butter, ring, pickup lines, seahorse

Din Djarin / The Mandalorian

Partners tags: fwb, breeding kink, dub con to non con

Drabbles : riding, feeling, Lothal Cat, hunt

Frankie Morales

Cravings Series (complete)

Sharing is Caring Series - (updated 12/12)

Drables: suffocate, tied, patch, taste, Thanksgiving, kiss

Javi Peña

One Last Time

[wsupeden]

14,39, 58. 😄

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Australia idk LMAO their accents get me man. Also Greece sounds cool

39. do you have a nickname? what is it? sweeden (sweet+eden cause i’m a sweet person?? lol idk), peeden (i got made fun of with this when i was a kid kms), edne, garden

58. do you have freckles? nope and that’s a-okay

[pedge-page]

for your pk poll… I CANT CHOOSE… but i do love sub reader and joel making her piss herself tbh 🫣🫢

The Garden of Peeden

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Notes: We're getting it all. here's a little something to keep everyone happy with PK...for now.

Warnings: PISS KINK, reader and Joel piss on reader, sub!Reader, daddy kink, semi public, assisted masturbation

18+ONLY

- - - - 

It’s been 6 weeks since Joel’s started training you to go without holding back, no matter the circumstances. You’ve started getting used to it. That freeing feeling of warmth filling your senses, making your mind go from anxious to relaxed just by releasing.

Today, he has you in a beautiful sun dress, no panties. You’re spread out on top of him with your back against his chest. The two of you slouched on a patio chair as he rubs lazy circles on your clit. The breeze feels amazing, ruffling your dress and blowing cool air on your heat. You’re leaned against him with your head turned towards his. Joel’s strong arm wrapped around your middle to keep you close. He kisses you slowly, sensually, swallowing your little whimpers. All the while brushing his thumb over your pelvis.

“It’s time,” he whispers against your ear.

You nod, feeling shivers traveling over your body. You’d be holding it as he teased you, but now the tremors feel more violent. 

“You gonna let go f’me? Paint me a pretty picture.” He gestures to the stone pavement below you. Despite being outside, the beautiful garden surrounding you adds some semblance of privacy. Its colorful array mixed with the outdoor atmosphere makes for the perfect lazy Saturday afternoon piss outside.

“S’okay, I got ya.” He pushes his thumb a little harder on your bladder while his middle and ring finger draw tight circles along your folds. You nod, biting your lips and forcing a steady breath out. It’s the hardest part for sure. It builds and builds and builds inside you. The pressure forcing your hips off of his every so often as you try to hold it in. 

No, he told you to relax. Stop flexing your walls to try to starve it off. You close your eyes, unwinding mentally and physically.

And it starts to happen.

A short, practice burst of urine shoots from your slit before trickling out again, slowly building up to a steady stream. 

“Oooohhhhhhh. There she is, that’s my good girl. My beautiful girl,” he hums with a grin. His presses his lips to yours. Joel’s hand kneads your pussy over your stream, rubbing your clit messily. Warm piss spills down his wrist and your ass, onto his jeans but he doesn’t care. He loves the sound of your interrupted hissing due to his movements. The pavement crackles as it splatters consistently like a pretty fountain waterfall. 

You sigh contently. It’s the best part, by far. You crack as smile and close your eyes again.

He laughs softly. “Ahhh that’s it, so good isn’t it? Making such a pretty mess, baby girl. You like peeing all over yourself n’ Daddy, I can tell. GO on, piss some more.”

You both watch from between your legs as you shoot a particularly strong jet, watching it arc over a sizable distance and landing on a dry part of the stones.

“Wow! Look at that, gettin so strong!” He rubs his palm over you quicker, the stream becoming splotched all over your dress and stomach. You both giggle and kiss once again. He drink your sexy noises as the two of you soak yourselves in hot liquid. 

“Ahhhh, baby, your squirtin’ pussy gets me so hard.” He grinds your ass along his harden length trapped underneath his jeans.

It doesn’t take much to read Joel Millers mind. All you’ve left are little trickles here and there of your piss. So you reach between your legs and pull his poor cock out.

“Mmmmm that’s better. Feeling’ that breeze on your pussy feels good on my dick too.” He lazily smirks as you start to fist him.

“Can I put it inside?” You ask.

“Got a better idea.”  He grips his cock and sits the two of you back a little more, now your heads propped up against the low back rest. He jerks himself a little, slapping your clit.

You jolt each time his tip smacks your clit. He kisses you between breaths, a game of cat and mouse as he chases your tongue.

“Pull those tits out,” he grunts.

You pull the neckline of your stretchy dress below your breasts just as Joel comes up to cup one. 

“M’gonna paint a pretty picture too. Ya ready f’me?”

You nod excitedly and spread your legs even wider for him. 

Joel grits his teeth, fisting himself a little before letting out a pained groan. His tip explodes in a fat stream of piss upwards, first hitting your clit then increasing up along your naval and to your breasts.

You giggle and squirm. The warm liquid feels amazing on your cool tits. It smacks your chest then trickles all down your front, soaking your dress and you in the process. 

His tongue is caught between his teeth as he moans drunkenly, watching you present yourself fuller for him to ruin with piss. 

“Feel that, baby? Daddy loves pissin’ on ya, such a beautiful thing f’me to paint.” “Thank you Daddy! Love your hot piss blanketing me.”

You cup your breasts and glide this tip to slot between your messy folds. His hot, strong stream of pee overwhelms you quickly, spreading down below you and starting to coat his sides and thighs. It’s so much. Way stronger, way more copious than yours was. The chair leaks so much urine, a puddle quickly forming below the two of you.

He starts to just hit your clit. The warm sensation, coupled with its pounding nature quickly sends you in a frenzy of quivers. He snatches your lips just as you begin to cum on his piss. You’re loud now too, forgoing the fact that your backyard can still be overheard by neighbors. Its beautiful. He wants to hoard all your sounds to himself. in time, you’ll be ready to piss yourself around others.

He’s just content covering you in his fluids for his eyes only for now.

When you finish, you pant heavily. He pecks your lips, refusing to let you part from his too much. The two of you are absolutely drenched, But you especially. Your pretty little sun dress now sticks awkwardly to your body, the neckline stretched below your wet tits.  

“My beautiful girl,” he hums again into your lips. 

His thick fingers begin to stroke between your petals once more.

 “Shall we try for round two?”

- - - -

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