#games are my therapy right now and the idea of no ps games and not being able to play 7r part 2 when it comes out is. not helping me.

[lecliss]

My mom doesn't even know why I can't login to my bank account so that's kinda concerning but I gotta go to the bank tomorrow to finally get a checking account and a debit card so hopefully they can figure out what's going on.

[chthonion]

for the ask game:

why. why irrigation subplot. you have sent me on mad quest on wikihow and yt to figure out how they could get the water uphill for that well. amazing job xd

so now i can offer you the mental picture of Feanor, Celebrimbor and Annatar bonding like those guys who make these insane water pumps and slide houses and other installations on yt (Caranthir, yelling out of frame: hey, that was my pet project!!!)

bonus/alt: the "elrond meeting the feanorians" scene - like "oh these people got murdered while murdering my family, okay i get it, gotta call them uncles atm" Elrond sweetie,,,,

🦅 < an eagle to rescue u from the cliffs of perfectionism and writing blocks

ps. i ❤❤❤ your tolkien fics the premise of ""what if we can give these ptsd ridden war criminals amd villains the Powers of Therapy and Emotinal Management"" and the end results are card games, inventing new fields of necromancy, jailbreak from the afterworld into heaven, philosophy and!! snickerdoodles. absolute mayhem disaster masquerading themselves as 100% logical efficient geniuses. effervescent amazing magnificiet, 11/10, *chef's kiss*

In which I continue taking questions for the director's cut ask game (you can still send in suggestions if you want!):\

Why is there a water supply problem???

Look, man, I just wanted Caranthir to have something nice to do in the background! He's staying out of the way of all the drama SO HARD. Is the well an URGENT problem? Absolutely not. Is working on it helping him readjust to life? ABSOLUTELY.

There's something to be said for the fact that Curufin was like...wait. Shit. The thing I do (make weapons) is not an option? What do I do??? And has so far been coping with everything very badly. Meanwhile Caranthir was like...give me a benign problem immediately. Give me literally anything that isn't "go to war" or "fight with my brothers and father". And once he had one he got into it and has not caused any trouble because he's just chilling with his equations and his diagrams. Caranthir and the twins have the right idea; they immediately looked for things they could do to feel more at home in the world again (baking, irrigation, board games, etc) and got right on that.

Elrond meeting the Feanorians

Okay so like. In my head, right, Elrond has been The Responsible Elder for so goddamn long. He's a father. He's in charge of Rivendell. Everybody comes to him for advice. Galadriel's older than him by a long shot, but he and Galadriel have been Coping With This Shit for so long that she's less an elder family member and more one of the few colleagues he can actually rely on. Who has nonetheless generally been inconveniently far away.

He's got his parents back now, but he is still in Responsible Mediator Mode with them, because whooo boy is there a lot to work through there. He's got his wife back and that is amazing and he is over the moon about it but she is still only one person.

And now, suddenly, here are his foster fathers. Who knew him as he was when he was young and angry and hurting and real, not as an idealized image of a lost son or a responsible diplomat who always had a reasonable answer. And here is their whole family, whom he never got to know, who have all the mannerisms that he recognizes from Maedhros and Maglor (and many of which he himself picked up in childhood and never lost), and they are immediately like "family? Nephew? Grandson???" and, look.

They are a bunch of kinslayers and idiots who lit the world on fire. If they do that again there are going to be Problems.

But he already loves two of them and the rest of them are here going "family, maybe?" and Maedhros and Maglor talked about them and missed them and loved them and he feels like he half-knows them already and--

And maybe they're such a mess that Elrond can finally, finally be a little bit of a mess too without anybody acting like it's the end of the world, and--

Yeah. Okay. Maybe Elrond can have some extra family, as a treat. As long as they don't light the world on fire again.

Mayhem disasters masquerading as geniuses

I have two general categories of feeling about the absolute absurdity of this fic's premise, which usually make themselves known simultaneously:

Oh my god what am I doing and why am I doing it

Oh, that's right, I'm doing it because where ELSE could I get this combination of characters to amicably interact with each other, I must make it more ridiculous immediately

...so I am always DELIGHTED to hear that other people are enjoying this weirdness. <3 Look, sometimes I just gotta make messy people with horrifying histories try to be friends with each other and attempt to make better choices. For funsies.

[heartstringsduet]

Hiiii Michelle 💗 these ones 🧃📚🦷🥐 please

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before I once tried to climb a fence when I was ten. But I wore fake Buffalos that got stuck in it and I dangled upside down on the fence for a minute or two (in my memory it was like ten but I assume that is unlikely) until a boy saved me. Oh where are you now, noble prince? And do I just conflate memories or did I lose my yellow Pokemon game the same day on the playground I climbed the fence for in the first place?? Lil Michelle you were a rebel ...and karma got you.

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

Chats and reacts

no context. but I just checked and it's a youtube channel I think my best friend recommended.

and my notes for First Aid I write down when I have an idea on my walks...I can't share

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

right now, I'm in the process of accepting something that hurts deeply and is unfair and a loss.

The serenity prayer to "to accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I can,and the wisdom to know the difference" really is helpful.

Even more helpful is to know that you can MOURN first. Acceptance often means giving up something. Like the hope that xy will love you the way you deserve or that you might not get your dream job. I thnk that's why acceptance felt so wrong to me in the beginning. How can I accept something that is so painful?

BUT, I have learned before in my life that to accept is not to condone. Like, if I accept e.g. that my cousin or smt is shitty to me, I will go into any interaction with him with the acceptance and expectation that it will be like that. It doesn't make his actions any less bad, but it makes me hurt less because I have the accurate expectation and I can later use a more rational approach to how I will handle it going forward. Ps: this bitch has been in therapy for 7 years now. canyoutell 🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

and: IS THat a WeEd???!

...ps: this bitch also misses vines

Writer's ask

[livingwithlosingyou]

Living with Losing You - 12/17/2022

Okay, today was aggressively busy, but it was also GREAT! 

I got asked if I wanted to help feed the homeless at church, and of course I had to say yes. So, I started off my morning doing good for others, which in turn made me feel good! It was incredible though because I ended up seeing the girl that I met the first time I ever went to Grace, and my GriefShare leader was helping run the event. I got to meet her daughter, and some other wonderful people. One that stood out to me was Char. She is my spirit animal. I really hope that I get to see her again. She was the sweet but edgy older later. Before we started serving the pastor told us to say our “happy and crappy” for 2022. So, naturally I mentioned losing you and then coaching as my highlight. Her and I ended up working together in both areas, so we got to talk about it. She said something that really stuck with me. She said you left me with a huge heart. It’s such a gift. I feel like I already had a heart for this, and for helping others, but I do more now than ever. I want to not just make a difference, I want to BE the difference. 

I did end up leaving a little early to go to my little brother’s soccer game. I have decided that I am going to start to be a little more blunt in these blogs. It’s the point of them, right? Either way, I went to his game though he didn’t play cause he missed a few practices from being sick. Kind of wish I had that tidbit of information. Either way, all good. It was still fun to watch and support his team. I made a comment that I was going to hang out with another girl who broke off her engagement because her fiancé struggled with depression, etc. A comment was made about how she had so much strength and made the right decision. It felt very backhanded and directed at the fact that I stayed with you, but I have no regrets. Also, people don’t really have an ounce of an idea of what we endured, so let them have their thoughts. 

I feel like at times, people without all the context just harp on the weirdest shit sometimes. Like fighting me on the fact that my buddy and I went to a holiday party and it was not a date. I would have just said if it was or it wasn’t. Drives me nuts if I am being honest. That’s a whole other can of worms and honestly could probably use some more therapy with how I have been feeling. I have plans to call and get that scheduled on Monday. I know that the people in my life (again, some not all) do not mean things in malicious ways, but sometimes they don’t understand the weight that their words carry. 

After the game I went to go to PS to pick up brunch, quickly took Sadie to the park, and then got ready to go to the zoo with my friend and her daughter. I have a pass and I had two of the half off coupons, so I thought it could be fun. And it was!!! 

This was also the first time I had been back at the zoo since you and I went back in June, before you died. It was one of the last things we did together in SD. It was a good idea to give it time, but it was still a little sad to be there and recall all the places we stopped for silly selfies, etc. I realized that one of the buildings was name “Jake’s Cool Critters”, and I think that was new since you and I had been there. Or maybe I just noticed it this time around, all things considered. Either way, we had a blast. Best first trip back to the zoo. I will likely renew my membership too. You’d want me to still love it. I promise that I’ll see your mountain lions every time I go back now. I ended up getting myself s snake souvenir. He is currently sitting on your chair. Seemed fitting. We also walked Balboa parka little bit, and passed the place where we took pictures in our matching hats. I’ll add those on here. 

Well, since Logan won his game this morning, he had a second game. My dad had his holiday party, so I ended up being the one to have to take him. I was supposed to see Natalia for aps and drinks, but honestly, it was fine and I was wiped. So, I quickly came home from the zoo, dropped off my stuff, took Sadie out, and then went to pick him up and took him to his game. I had an hour before he played, so I went and grabbed myself dinner. I didn’t eat anything except a snack at the zoo, so I was starving. Chick Fil A was the obvious choice. It was close to the field an quick. My parents back me back to the game, and luckily this time Logan got to play! Unfortunately they lost, but it was a very intense / good game. 

After the game I met up with Bri and we walked Sadie. Then I got home, called a friend while I cleaned, and now it’s bed time. I am WIPED. Luckily tomorrow isn’t as busy, but I still have a lot of things that I should do and that I should catch up on. 

My brain is struggling recently. Just trying to continue to push through it. Adding a picture of a quote that I found that was quite fitting.

Made it another day. Miss you!

Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols.

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022

[sneezefiction]

soft shiratorizawa sleepover

Shiratorizawa x Reader - Sleepover Headcanons

request: “Hi can I request having a sleepover with Shiratorizawa?”

a/n: classic Gracie move, here. ultra fluffed up, on a Friday evening. please enjoy some soft, sleepover moments with our faves, Ushijima, Tendou, Semi, Goshiki, Shirabu, Reon, and Yamagata. 

warnings: none!

wc: 930

soft sleepovers - karasuno edition

---

you’ve been unofficially managing/supervising the Shiratorizawa team over the past couple months

but with their strict schedule and the fact that you joined them a bit late into their volleyball season, it’s been hard to actually get to know them

luckily, you and Tendou hit it off instantly, his curiosity gravitating toward the novelty of having a team manager

after expressing your wish to get to know the team better, the idea for a sleepover popped up in a playful convo between you and Tendou

i mean, you were definitely joking about it, but apparently Tendou had already presented the idea to Ushijima

and Ushi was totally chill with it??

he felt like you would manage the team better if you could see how everyone functioned outside of a high-pressure game

also i’m almost entirely positive that half of this team has never had a real sleepover

like, sure, they’ve spent the night together while away for practices games and tournaments, but they’ve never had one for the purpose of “hanging out” with each other

the team is surprised to hear that you’ll be joining them, but they’re genuinely excited to learn about you

lmao they might even be sort of intimidated esp since most of them are fr socially awkward

so be ready to actually get to know these boys, bc they’re all weird af

ps everyone will be invading Goshiki’s home for this wild, overnight endeavor

you arrive slightly late, but you’re welcomed with sounds of howling laughter and vibrant discussions that seem to be spiraling into loud arguments

Semi has Shirabu in some kind of headlock, wrestling him to the floor for being too pretentious

Tendou is already in his sleeping bag, but he’s not actually lying down... he’s hopping around in it

and Ushijima looks like he’s supervising the entire team, while still holding a glint of humor behind his gaze, enjoying the goofiness of his teammates outside of a gym for once

when they spot you at the doorway, your pillows and items in hand, everyone goes silent

and then Tendou rushes toward you, crashing headfirst into your body after losing balance in his absurdly heavy sleeping bag

you’re pretty much stuck under him, so Reon and Ushi have to lift Tendou off of you before Semi can give you a hand up

you thank Semi and turn to Tendou with a playful scowl on your face, his own cat-like grin is spreading the width of his cheeks

before he can react, you’ve smashed a pillow right into his head, leaving him slightly dizzy as he throws his pillow toward you… but it misses

...landing straight into Ushijima’s gorgeously sculpted face

everyone is too shocked by this to realize that Ushi has already picked up a pillow and aimed it at poor Goshiki

the power in Ushi’s pillow throw literally knocks him off his feet

yikes

don’t get me wrong, Ushijima doesn’t really get the concept of a “pillow fight,” but he’s willing to try anything at least once to understand it

this starts a full-send pillow war:

It’s you, Semi, Goshiki, and Yamagata VS Tendou, Ushijima, Shirabu, and Reon

and lemme tell you, IT IS BRUTAL.

you learn quickly about their inner team rivalries and the team’s extensively colorful language

this ends with lots of sweat, several bruises, and countless bursts of excited laughter

but when the game and adrenaline highs wear off, you’re all left lying on the floor

they all recover pretty quickly, but most of the 3rd years realize just how worn out you are from the amount of effort you just exerted

Semi flicks you in the side of your head and asks you some personal questions, but really the whole group is listening in, 

“Y/n, why’d you choose to help our team out? I’m sure you have a lot going on outside of all of this.”

you’re taken aback, having to process your answer… because truthfully friends weren’t easy to come by these days

you’d been searching for an opportunity to find community and be apart of something… and this management position seemed to be an open door to it

“You’d be surprised by my social life, Semi.” you say through a laugh, but it doesn’t sound funny

you’re amazed by the understanding faces surrounding you, some nodding, other just staring without judgment

because they could all relate

LITERALLY this short convo turns into a really sweet discussion about fears and problems, with some venting mixed in

It’s mostly you, Goshiki, Tendou, and Semi speaking, but in the end, everyone shares a little piece of their life with the group

which is all so weird for everyone on the team, but somehow your presence was the perfect set up for a Group Therapy Sleepover Session™ 

by the end of the night, you’re the one advising and listening to them, which is such a cozy turn of events

like, your heart is full & they’re actively being invested in by your sweet self

several of them (Ushijima, Semi, and Goshiki) fall asleep to the soothing sound of your voice

you just make them so comfortable

and as much as they should be the ones protecting you, you’re the one making them feel safe and put together

honestly, while i’d like to think that Shiratorizawa is always so cool and calm, i think they need hugs and softness too

sure, they’re tough and they get all of that intensity and energy out on the court 

but now that the team knows they have an outlet to get things off their chest and out into the airspace, they don’t want to lose it

and that’s when the bi-monthly, non-volleyball related Shiratorizawa sleepovers become mandatory

it’s pretty much the ultimate mental health booster and it gets wilder every time

so, you indeed get to know the boys well <3

—-

soft team sleepover series

soft karasuno sleepover

soft seijoh sleepover

soft nekoma sleepover

soft fukurodani sleepover (in progress)

—-

tags: @yams046, @cherryonigiri

(comment or send an ask to be added to my general tag list) 

[goldenwitherphoenix13]

Its time for a probrably wrong union X theory!

Welcome to my first ever attempt at a theory.yall are here to watch ne be wrong. Lmoa.

Union X is coming to an end and its time share with you my big end game theories connecting the dots of kingdom hearts 3 and Re:Mind to Union X. And that is by using some solid evidence from the games and from the light novels. Yes. I'm going there.

This first bit is to do with the idea that Vanitas is the Darkness that possessed Ven in Union X. Now, this could easily be disproven right? Well I think I can actually bring validity to it.

Fist there's the obvious evidence that Vanitas claims that "what I am is Darkness" in Kingdom Hearts 3 and hes been a part of Ven longer than he thinks, he was only extracted is something he mentioned in Re:Mind. This can be written off by him being all the pure darkness in Vens heart, but could be taken as him being the entity darkness.

Ok. So, remember how I said I would talk about the light novels? Well, in said light novels, Vanitas is said to originally have no face/true corporeal form, having the form more like dark Rikus outfit thing, but thanks to Sora touching Vens heart, he gained a more humanish form.

Well.... darkness in Union X...

uhhhh....They have... no form. Just a cloud of purple and black with a figure resemblent of a human form in the center, if you look closely.

And if it were extracted from Vens heart by Xehanort to make Vanitas, that means darkness returns to lay within Ven dormant after the Union leaders defeat it, even when he travels to the time of Birth by Sleep! That or it has left remnents of itself within him to ensure darkness will follow into the future. Either way, it or part of it was in Ven until Xehanort took it away along with the natural darkness of his heart.

But if that's the case, then that would mean Vanitas wasn't technically a part of Ventus, but had resided there so long that that's what he believed. Because memories are stripped when they time travel. Does that effect darkness? Making it thinks its always been Vens darkness and Vens Darkness alone all this time.

Now for things to get a bit wonkey

There's still a big question lurking. What the hell is up with Dark inferno X? (chi pronounced key) its picture is below.

The bio from Re:Mind states "The darkness that erupted out of Ventus's heart and turned into an aggressive heartless. But the voice that was heard at the time intimated that it was "darkness" itself. What did that mean..."

INDEED WHAT! 

Well, let's not forget the basic rule of the Kingdom hearts universe. If your heart is lost or Overcome by darkness it becomes a heartless. 

Xehanorts heartless, Ansem, possessed Riku in Kingdom hearts 1 when it became a weak heart like spirit... who's to say other heartless who are strong enough can't do the same thing? And the design... who is one person with similar attributes like... a scarf, that Ventus at least encountered or knew?

Ephemer.

Quick point I'll refer to later, but remember, we see Ephemer help Sora with the light of the past later on in kingdom hearts 3. The keyblades all come to life with the hearts of the fallen weilders and stuff and Sora surfs them because video game. Now, this bit is a little confusing. What was Ephemer doing in the white void? Was that a ghostly form of his nobody or something? An appiration? Just his ghost? The moment he arrived in the future?

Well, the moment of him arriving can be crossed of I think. Where did he go if that were the case? Ephemer appearing in that moment does throw a spaner in the world, but I might be able to pull it out and fix the theory prediction.

My theory for this part is that the Ephemer we see in KH3... is Ephemers nobody in a ghost like form waiting for his heartless, Dark Inferno X.

His heartless must of found a way to hide or travel through time and went to hide within Ven's heart like Ansem did to Riku, but it has to be after Vanitas was removed. Otherwise, Dark inferno X would of been extracted by Xehanort too. The entity of darkness or its remnents, however, was with Ven when he travelled through time.

I think the best answer is Ephemers nobody died in the travel or after, is now a spirit, and helped the heroes of light. He's just waiting for his heartless to be destroyed so he can return as his somebody. And now that Sora has defeated it... who's to say we won't see him soon.

Oh and I think the secret Dark Inferno X boss in 3 was just a test for the remind one and went through a minor design change. Image comparison below, pictures from Google.

Kh3 Re:Mind

The unversed floods did the same thing between birth by sleep, bbs final mix and 3 after all going blue to purple and back to blue (I like them purple).

I really don't want to believe that it was Strelitzias heartless and that she might be able to return. I'd rather her remain a permanent death like the keyblade wilders of Union X, Master Eraqus and Master Xehanort. Its nice having a concept of death in Kingdom Hearts.

Where was I? Oh yes. I think Dark inferno X is Ephemers Heartless.

Now for one more problem. How Dark inferno X got to Ventus.

From what I see, it has 2 routes.

1: use the Ark and escape into the future. This leaves only a broken pod in the Union X time so Blain can not join the other leaders. Ephemer just has to wait. The only problem here is how Dark inferno X located Ven and got into castle oblivion without a hitch. Though I guess it did have 10 years to look.

2: hide in someone's keyblade. We've seen hearts contained by keyblades so I don't see why it can't happen again. A curse to the masters defender. I think it atratches its heart to the keyblade and thats how it escaped into Ven. When Aqua left him in Castle oblivion, the heartless snook away and hid within him, waiting for Vens heart to arrive so it could hide better and we could get the scene in Remind.

Either way, thats where Ephemers heartless would reside until it was reawakened.

So, to summarise what we've discussed into a timeline.

The Union leaders battle and defeat Darkness. Maybe temporarily, maybe for good. We don't know until its too late. It probably starts talking about some cryptic stuff, quoting things yet to be heard, who knows. This is where I believe Darkness overtakes Ephemer and turns his heart into dark inferno X (hence why it introduced itself to Sora as Darkness in Re:Mind. In a panic, Skuld and Blaine probably carry their unconscious friends out and flee to the ark, the time travel pods, darknesses remnants inside Ventus's heart and stays dormant until they are brought out. After waking the other 2 up and healing them Skuld, Lauriam and Ven go though the Ark pods, possibly joined by Elrena, and Blaine then stays behind and searches for Ephemers nobody. Hoping to reunite and reconnect the dark inferno X to Ephemer. 

Dark inferno X then hides away or travels to the future. I mean, I don't expect it to fit in the ark pods, but it might hide away in there or something. If it does then heres the first scenario.

There is one broken pod left. Blaine does his best to fix it, but its not safe enough so Ephemers nobody dies going through and it ends up as a spirit thing, waiting and searching for its heartless. Oh! And Blaine doesn't figure out how to properly build the things so he decides to remain in this time.

Dark inferno X then searches attaches to Ven to hide away.

The other scenario is it hides away in masters defender and slips by then. Blain sends Ephemer through, but since he's a nobody, things don't go smoothly and Ephemers Nobody probably dies in travel.

The generations pass and everything happens.

Dark inferno X is defeated by Sora.

The end game is coning.

And that's it. That's the whole theory. Here's to hope the Union leaders come out on top in the Union X finale, Sora is saved in the next game and Ven finally gets therapy once he recovers these memories. Actually let's order therapy for everyone! 

Also speaking of Ven, Nomura, if you hurt my boy again, I'm gonna punch you.

Theres a reason I made this cringy meme! (art of Ventus by me its one of my older arts of him)

Phoenix out!

(Ps: reply or reblog with inaccuracies)

[twokinkybeans]

The Arachnoids: ROCK BAND AU [STARKER] - Chapter 17: HAMMERED HEARTS

READ “CHAPTER 17: HAMMERED HEARTS” HERE ON AO3

Find the masterpost with all the chapters linked here!

Taglist: @crystallinecrimsonmoth​​ & @staticwhispersinthedark​​ (Let me know if you want to be added!)

Notes:  Y'all have no idea how anxious I was to write this chapter a a a aa a? I must admit, I had no CLUE what would happen so it was a lil hard to get into. BUT IT WORKED OUT. Wrote this on a little weekend trip (in our own country and definitely covid proof), and now that I'm back home; enjoy!!! -Kim

ps. I'm way too pleased with the small pun in this chap's name alsdjfalsdjf

-

Chapter 17: Hammered Hearts

Tony feels like he’s about to pass out. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t do this,” he says hesitantly and stares at Bucky’s front door intently. Pepper is there. Pepper. He can’t believe that Bucky’s been able to persuade her into this conversation. Peter, who’s standing next to him, sends him a comforting smile.  “Just remember why you’re doing this. Everything else will follow. I gotcha, remember?” “Right,” Tony mumbles. Why. Why-why-why. 

The image of Morgan’s sweet little laugh appears in his mind’s eye, and an instant smile plays on his lips. His daughter. He owes it to her and himself to do this, and hopefully, that means they’ll be reunited.

Tony bridges the small gap between him and the front door and presses the small black button of the doorbell. In the distance, he can hear the ringing sound echoing through the hallway- and then there’s footsteps headed towards them. Tony doesn’t dare to look at Peter. One more of those gentle smiles and he’ll fall apart crying.  When Bucky opens the door, everything seems to suddenly set into motion by itself. Bucky greets them and steps aside to let them in. Tony does so, knowing that Peter follows along. “We’re in the living room, this way,” Bucky says. It’s clear he wants to get started on this sooner rather than later, the tension probably uncomfortable for him too.

And as easily as it seemed to step inside... When Tony enters the living room, time seems to freeze. 

“Daddy!”

Tony is nearly knocked down by the force of Morgan running straight into his legs and wraps her little arms around them. His eyes sting, and he stares down in disbelief. Morgan has buried her face against his jeans and tightens her grip. “Hey little monkey,” Tony whispers and gently takes her arms to unfold them so that he can crouch down. Morgan’s eyes sparkle with pure joy when their gazes meet.  “I missed you. I’m so happy you’re home!” Morgan says and giggles, rushing forward again to hug his neck this time. Tony laughs and lifts her, her legs clamping around his waist where he holds her. “I missed you too.” Tony doesn’t know what Pepper told her, and he would never want to set her up against Pepper or make her feel like she can’t trust her parents. He’ll play along with this game if that’s what it takes to restore this mess. “You’ve grown into such a big lady already!”

“She definitely has your appetite,” Pepper chimes in. Tony’s gaze warily finds her seated on the couch, and his smile falters a little. He tries to contain himself, though and focuses his attention on Morgan again. “Mmmh, that’s my girl.” Tony pokes her belly. “I bet there are lots of little pop tarts in there!” Morgan laughs and squirms where he tickles her, and when he stops, she pokes his face in return. “Daddy, who’s that?” She looks at Peter behind him and Tony blushes. Peter and he have never quite established what they are. When exactly they became friends, he still doesn’t know. When they became somewhat more? Still immensely confusing.  “That’s Peter. He’s a rockstar too!” “Oooh!!!! Just like you?” “Just like me.” At that answer, Morgan squirms out of his grip. When Tony puts her on the floor, she runs over to Peter - staring up at him defiantly. “One day,” she says proudly, “-I’ll be the biiiiiggest rockstar in the whole world!”

“Oh my,” Peter says with a grin. “I’m sure you’ll be a legend.” “See, Mommy?” Morgan sprints around and runs towards her mother. She climbs onto the couch next to Pepper and slumps down against one of the fluffy throw pillows that Bucky has on there.

“You guys want something to drink?”

-

Tony doesn’t know where to start. Pepper and he are seated outside on the small porch of Bucky’s house. Bucky and Peter are playing with Morgan in the garden. Her shrill giggles are music to his ears, and every time she turns around to wave at him, his heart clenches. He’s missed her so goddamn much, and even now that she’s actually here, he can still feel that sense of not having had her in his arms for so long.

“Why?” He asks eventually. Pepper sighs and clasps her hands tightly around the cup of tea she’s holding.  “It was… A lot of things,” she whispers. “Tony, I never meant for this to get so out of hand. I don’t…” A sob rises from her chest, and Tony looks up, surprised. Instantly his worries take over, and he scoots a little closer. All this time, he thought she’d simply wanted him out of their lives. But could it be that he was wrong all these months?

“Pep…” He whispers and frowns at himself for already resorting back to her nickname. “What happened?” “You know Justin, right?” “Your boyfriend?” “Eh, ex-boyfriend now… But yes.” Pepper sniffs and sits up straight, using her sleeve to wipe away her tears. “I never told him that you were Morgan’s father,” she continues. “But he got jealous either way. He said he’d kick us out if I let Morgan see her father again. I didn’t have anywhere else to go- I-” “Pep, you could’ve… Oh, God. Why didn’t you ask me for help?” “You had your medication problems already. I thought if I told you… Well- I didn’t want to send you off into an even worse place.”

Tony can feel a slight hint of anger wash over him. All this time, she made him think it was his fault. This problem could’ve been so easily fixed. He swallows and tries to suck it up. If he gets angry now, who knows what’ll happen. Pepper is finally opening up, and while Tony may be angry… He knows how difficult it can be to leave an abusive household- his own parents are the very proof of it. As much as he doesn’t know whether he wants to, he should try to support her here. “So… What happened to Justin?”

Pepper snorts angrily. “That asshole left for some young chick he met at a bar. Said he hated me, hated Morgan, and he kicked me out after all. I’ve been… Staying here, actually. Bucky was so kind to take me in. He didn’t know the full story, obviously. I swear, I never told anyone about your relationship to Morgan.” “Good riddance.” “I… I guess.” Pepper takes a deep breath. “Tony, I didn’t realize how bad this whole thing had spiralled and when Bucky talked to me… I… God, I’m so sorry.”

“I,” Tony hesitates. “I won’t say ‘it’s alright’ cause it isn’t… But, well, I understand why you did it…” “Tony-” “No, I really do.” After that, it’s silent for a moment. Tony glances at Morgan again, who is currently getting a piggyback ride from Bucky. He smiles faintly.  “What’d you tell her?” “That you were touring.” “Didn’t she ever tell Justin about it?” “No, I made it very clear to her it was a secret. She may be playful and mischievous, but she’s smart. She always felt the gravity of the situation even when she didn’t understand why.”

Tony chews on his bottom lip.  “I wonder how long we can keep this up- keeping her away from the spotlight.” “I don’t know Tones, but we’ll keep on trying.” “We will.”

After another short silence and Pepper finishing her tea, she smiles slightly.  “Thank you.” “What for?” “For… Being so mature about this. I won’t lie, this whole talk gave me some sleepless nights.” “Mmmh, I definitely don’t recognize that.”

Pepper chuckles, and Tony can’t help but chuckle along with her. It’s obvious that there are many things left to discuss. Pepper’s housing situation, where to go from here… But for now, Tony feels a strange hint of calmness washing over him. 

“So, who’s Peter?” “He’s in our opening band. The Arachnoids; cool, eclectic rock sound. Sorta 80s vibe and definitely a hint of Gen Z stuff that I can’t quite put my finger on. And-” “Tony, you know that’s not what I meant. Clearly, you don’t just bring a random dude from your opening band to a talk like this.” She eyes him with a curious glimmer in her eyes, and Tony groans, playfully exasperated. “I don’t know who Peter is, then,” he answers with a shrug. “I think I like him. And he likes me too? But we haven’t… Y’know, nothing’s happened yet.”

Pepper smiles, and Tony can tell she’s starting to relax as well. For a moment, it almost seems like this shitty mess had never happened at all. As if they’re just two friends again who simply happen to have a daughter together. 

“This is nice,” he whispers. “Yeah,” she mumbles back, casting her eyes down. “I’m… Really glad Bucky talked me into this. He, eh, told me some stuff about your meds too. It still isn’t sorted, right?” “Nope. Doctors don’t think it ever will. We’re finishing our second leg of the tour in three months from now, and I think I’ll take some time off after that to do some form of extensive therapy.” “Oh, Tony, that’s- That’s good.” She takes a deep breath and takes his hand. “I’m proud of you.”

The praise fills his chest with warmth, and he smiles at her fondly. He may have slept with her once, even though he’s definitely not into women, but he can still see her charm. He never realized that besides missing Morgan, he missed his effortless friendship with Pepper as well.

He hopes they can build on it again.

[stay-outta-my-blood-circle]

Hey slashers,

I'm not doing so good right now. This is the lowest I've been since I was almost hospitalized and I'm a little scared. How do you guys cheer yourself up because I could use it?

Ps. Vincent, your smile is a ray of sunshine ilu

Vincent is about to pick up another envelope when he feels an urgent series of tugs on his sleeve. He turns to find Brahms holding your letter out to him. He takes it, holding it gently as he reads, and then he takes it with him to sit at the unoccupied end of the table, pulling his pen out of his pocket.

Dear anon,

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time. It's good that you're able to monitor your mental condition and reach out for help if needed; I hope you're as open with the people who care about you, so that they can help support you also.

As for cheering up... I think it's different for everyone, but in my case it's usually one of two things - self-care days or personal projects. Self-care days are great for getting some rest, taking a break from responsibilities, and doing things that comfort you. Some time spent relaxing, watching movies or playing video games, or reading a book can often rebuild the resilience that gets worn away in day-to-day life.

Working on personal projects can be partly self-care and partly therapeutic. This would include indulging in hobbies, especially creative ones - usually art, for me, but I know other people choose writing, or handicrafts, or making music. Something that both soothes you and allows you to be productive without stressing out about it. Giving yourself something meaningful to focus on can be an effective tool. (Sports would fall into this category too, if that's more your thing.)

Of course, all that being said - some people with certain conditions need professional therapy and/or prescription medications to help them maintain an even keel, and there's nothing wrong with that. It sounds like your situation may be severe enough to warrant speaking to a professional; they have tools to help you cope and can prescribe medication if you need it (or adjust them if you're already taking some).

I've struggled with feeling low myself, so I wish you the best, anon. Please take care of yourself.

Vincent pauses, staring at your post-script. He begins to fidget with his pen. Unseen beneath his mask, a blush creeps across his face.

p.s. oh - thank you, that's very sweet! I'm sure your smile is equally enchanting; I sincerely hope it graces your features often.

He quickly signs his name, with a heart at the end, and folds the sheet of paper before returning to Brahms. He hands over the reply, thankful his mask is present to hide the pink tinge on his cheeks.

"Oh good, I figured you were the right person for this one," Brahms says cheerfully, using his normal tone, thank goodness - Vincent always finds it a bit disconcerting when a child's voice comes out of the tall man. "We'll expedite this response, hm?"

Vincent nods, signing good idea, thanks.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep 28: Valon Joins the Dead People Gang

So lately it’s been really freakin hot.

Like crazy freakin hot. I haven’t done anything productive because youknow--I live in a Covid hotspot and I’ve been quarantined for what feels like is 6 years, and then to continue the 10 plagues across America, now it’s just really freakin hot.

I was trying to go the hell to sleep when I heard this WIND outside my window at 2 AM. Just...WIND. It was like 5000 degrees outside, and then it started thundering, and then the lightning started hitting and I was like...wtf 2020, please calm down!

So I decided to check Twitter at 3 AM really fast just to make sure this wasn’t a freakin dream. Aaaaaaand Northern California had a Fire tornado warning.

3 words I never thought I’d see in conjunction. Fire tornado Warning.

and it hella dropped in Tahoe, y’all, it was freakin nuts. Meanwhile, Death Valley--the place where Yugi hella biffed it and died, if you don’t remember--hit 130 F (54.4 C, for the metric lovers in the back) so...it’s been a time for every part of California, and now we have some good ol fashioned rolling blackouts accompanied by 27 wildfires (yes, 27 fires) who have turned the sky into a yellow pea soup.

So because of the rolling blackouts (one of our power transformers exploded because of either the lightning or overuse, I dunno) at any point...my power might go out. Because of this, I didn’t feel like booting up Photoshop and so instead I’ll just...work on this.

...something about the Fire Tornado, the yellow shadow realm outside my window, and crazy lightning over San Fransisco reminded me that it’s been a HOT MINUTE since I’ve posted so lets get back to Yugioh. Somehow they knew that the doorway to hell was my back yard and you know what? They’re right. Completely believable and I wish someone would close the damn door.

Tristan read my mind that it’s been such a hot minute since I’ve checked in, that he mansplained a very quick summary of what the hell is currently happening to Tea Gardner.

A brave man, Tristan Taylor. A brave man to risk getting into a fight with Tea, who is the only Goliath on this show that exists without also being a paper card.

Which is when Pharaoh had some news.

I guess without Duke around, Pharaoh had to be the new Killjoy

(read more under the cut)

I exaggerate a little for the caps, but it’s kind of interesting that when Joey is usually on his own, it’s Yugi who’s certain that Joey is about to die and Pharaoh is the one that has to calm little Yugi down. But, when Yugi’s not there, I guess Pharaoh is just already in a Mood.

Mai is really weird this episode! I wish this season had gone into more detail about the extent of the Orichalcos’s mind control. Because Mai could very well be under it’s spell...or not...maybe it has no spell and they’re just falling for it like a placebo?

It’s not like the Orichalcos was ever put on anyone who was “good.” like if it were possessing someone nice like...

....

....(let me think about this, I’ll think of someone on this show who is a true lawful good.)

....

.................Dark Magician Girl, then I’d actually know if this Orichalcos actually IS different from how these characters actually are. But Mai was introduced in this series as a villain, and she’s always been around to bust balls, so it’s like...what part is Mai and what part is not?

Apparently a part that only shows up when Valon dies.

PS Valon turns a very quick 180 right before he died. I honestly thought I had skipped an episode or something because bro mentioned something about...Valon burning down a church or something...but I think that was a spicy headcanon where he mixed up this show with another anime.

I think. If I skipped an episode, y’all would tell me, right? I didn’t skip an episode?

I did skip the card games, however, so something about getting punched like 1000 times in the dick by Joey Wheeler taught Valon how to be human again, and the death that followed the 1000 dick punches inspired Mai to remember that Valon exists and that she Loves Him.

(just flat on his face)

I just...

I am going to give Yugioh this one. They have had so little in terms of relationships--I will give this to them. Good Job Yugioh, you did it. You had a relationship on your show. Sure, it was one where she...never seemed to like the guy at all, but hey--they actually did embrace...a corpse. Good on you, Yugioh.

Again, I have a really difficult time not cracking up about this very tragic moment a little bit because (and I have said this before about relationships on Yugioh), but I have never seen a TV show treat a straight relationship this way. I have never seen Straight Baiting before in my life and it is...WILD.

Also because Valon and Mai have both murdered I want to say hundreds of people at this point, it’s hard to feel too bad about them, although they are drawn as a very cute couple in how their outfits match. They got the finger less gloves, the belts hanging off their collar, the sleeveless outfit that is both too much clothes and too little clothes at the same time.

And like...I really like the idea behind Valon/Mai. I still think that was a good idea to build off of, I just wish that there was more of a sign from Mai that she had any idea that Valon existed prior to this. Because Valon had Orichalcos too, but he was fully able to love her--so what was happening on her end that prevented this? Was it just the amount that she hated Joey was so much more than her love for Valon? Was Valon actually more jealous of her hate of Wheeler and misinterpreted it as love?

Anyway it’s a billion degrees and I don’t have air conditioning so...I think we’ll have more time to think about this next episode. Maybe it’ll occur to me two weeks after this heat wave ends exactly what I am trying to grasp at when it comes to these two, but for now all I can say is...well it was nice.

Ah RIP Valon/tine (or at least I assume that’s the ship name). You lasted almost a whole season. You almost became a thing. I guess well find out if there’s redemption after he eventually gets resurrected.

And on this show we redeem resurrected people kind of a lot, so that seems reasonable. Sure it was a couple hundred people that he murdered but like...we redeemed Marik.

And then she goes back to wigging out like immediately. The flipping and the flopping of Mai Valentine in this episode is a lot.

And immediately after he says something along the lines of this, he follows with...doing this:

Joey! Valon just died so you wouldn’t have to duel Mai Valentine! He’s dead, Joey! Maybe try talking???

The thing about this show is that cards can both heal you and also destroy you, and the line between the two is just...rolling a dice and hoping you come out healed. Yugi played cards against Yami so that Yami could free himself from his guilt and move on--Valon was healed of Orichalcos control because Joey beat him at cards--Seto was “cured” of his more evil side because Yami mind wiped him in a card game--card magic is weird.

At the same time, Cards can take your soul in just So Many Ways--kind of one of the downsides. But, in a very round about way, maybe cards are kind of like therapy in this world. Maybe they don’t have therapy, and all these kids playing card games with eachother is metaphorical to how they all need eachother in order to push eachother to actually go through the steps of-

Ah, who am I kidding? They just really needed to have Mai lose at cards so they could write her off the show.

I do appreciate that the show never tells you that someone’s actions in the past mean they must rot for eternity. This show will never cancel anyone and say “burn that bridge, let’s go” but I feel like murder is...the line where you can just walk away?

But youknow if that were true of Joey wheeler he’d have no friends left.

During this time, The Yugioh crew was inexplicably lost while, for once in his entire life, Seto was going the correct direction.

Unfortunately, the lure to throw cards at thing was too much for him to go the right direction for very long. It is kind of funny to note that he is the smartest boy in Domino--so he knows you can drive through a hologram--but he just didn’t want to know if they were real or not, so he...didn’t.

Like I think that says a lot about Seto, and I’m sure the show-runners didn’t think about this at all, but he could have tested his theory right now. He could have just seen if these were real in order to know if he was crazy or not...but he’d rather be insane, than be involved with magic.

Anyways, Mai drops that Orichalcos.

Reminder that San Francisco is only 7-12 miles from one end to the other depending on what part of the peninsula you’re on.

But then again, they’re reading a map in Roman characters and these kids are school dropouts who only speak Japanese and maybe Spanish. Maybe they’re actually doing really, really well considering the language barrier?

Anyway that’s all for now I’m gonna go pass out and hopefully when I wake up it’ll be next week when it is no longer hot. If you just got here, this is a link to read these caps from the beginning!

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[bloopbyoop]

weep woop

ayo. ive read my scheduled email and its time for freewriting shit again. lmao. I want this post to be like a small light from a lit match stick inside a very hollow, icy, and numbing cave. (sounds cartoonish right? I know. Im obsessed with Adventure Time.) I want all people to be genuinely happy.  Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Upon reaching my 24th anniversary in this world, I finally learned how to truly embrace all my emotions. Some are more overwhelming than the other, but we have to heed in our treacherous yet perplexing minds that everything is fleeting and we are in control. The feeling of extreme sadness fades, but so does joyful states. Everything can change in a matter of minutes or years. You are in control of all your emotions. You are in control of all your life choices. Your actions. Your words. Your perspective. It feels weird to actually write about it. I've wanted to talk about it. I never wanted help from anyone as I firmly believed that I was alone. Sure, I have a family and friends, but it is hard to see that when your head is clouded with negativity. I've even come to the point where I was too overwhelmed, I found being physically hurt less painful. The pain I felt distracted me from what I was thinking. My mind tended to go bonkers. lmao. But bro, I was so good at concealing my bonkers mind. It's easy to fake any emotion that you have. Slap anything sunshine-y or happy to anything and people would believe you. It went on for years. Long story short, thousands of bracelets collected, it became worse. The physical pain could no longer withhold the emotional pain. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop thinking. And voila! I found a good amount of self help books (from tumblr) and novels. Novels that brought me to different places. Self-help books that made me understand what I feel and what to do. I've read that taking the easy way out will leave everyone sad. AND IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEE, I NEVER WANT THATTTTTTT. I want everyone to be happy. I would act foolish and do dumb shit to make everyone happy in a heartbeat. So, that idea made me push a few more years. Later on, the crippling shit came crawling back again to my head, sooooooo I needed new shit to keep me distracted again. Films, series, music, and short clips from YouTube helped me out a lot. Every single time that my mind is going to think like anything that can think of, even to the point that I was just going to think that I might be hungry, I'd watch something. There's just something about silence for me. Because of this new habit of mine, I've learned more about myself. I love different types of things. I like horror. I like thriller. I like comedy. I like romance. I love all types of films, but there is something about the horror genre that interests me. I still can't point out what, but I love watching horror films. With regards to music, I've learned that I love Indie, Punk Rock, Rap, and Pop. We all can't like a specific genre. It's stupid to ask "what genre of music do you like?". It's not actually stupid-stupid, it's just stupid. Ya know? Anyway, passing this phase, I needed to find something again because it's not doing the shit that it was supposed to, I tried investing more time on video games. By investing more, I mean a whole shit lot. I love video games since I was young cuz.... u know.... they keep u... try to guess it! oh yeah. you got that right! distracted! I love the aggressive plays and trashtalks that my friends and I make. The short stories we tell one another. The rants. The lame jokes. The late night we sound drunk but we are not drunk jokes. The roleplays. The lame jokes. The memes. And once again, The lame jokes. Something about lame jokes and the laughs and curses after that always gets me every single time. Oh shoot. Yup Yup. Few years later, I finally noticed the pattern that my sadness is temporary. I got over it one way or the other (or another. depends on how you wanna read it. i dont wanna say another cause i might write about one direction like what im doing now so-). Happiness is temporary as well. But, we are the ones who are actually in control of our emotions. If you wanna feel sad, be sad for a while. You're getting too sad? Try hanging out with your funny friends. Can't do that? Find an alternative. Watch a movie, knit a sweater. Anything your mind could think of as long as it will keep you mentally distracted from being physically and mentally hurt. I do have a few notes though. We cannot and should never assume what people are going through. It may be petty for you, but it may be very crucial to them. So never everrrr say things like: -Some people have it worse than you -At least you have ..... These sheetsss are annoying as heckkk and could really down someone. I know it is not your intention to annoy but people react differently. alsooooooo, it is not okay or normal to hate on things for bandwagon. that is just plainly crazy and stupid. let people enjoy things. anddddddd never suppress your emotions. admit what you feel inside and try to think of a way to resolve ittttt. keeping it to yourself will just make it worseeeeee. find your own outlettttttttt. hihihi ️ alsooooo. being more spiritually full with God's words and ideas really help me to be spiritually happy. ps. im christian but i dont discredit other religion and even applaud other religion's ideas and beliefs. this is a really long, selfish post so i might as well recommend some things I like : Songs with their lyrics that made me go through life. “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier” -All These Things That I've Done, The Killers “It's not too late, I'm still right here” -Breaking Your Own Heart, Kelly Clarkson "And the salt in my wounds / Isn't burning any more than it used to / It's not that I don't feel the pain / It's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore / And the blood in these veins / Isn't pumping any less than it ever has / And that's the hope I have / The only thing I know that's keeping me alive" -Last Hope, Paramore “There is not a single word in the whole world / That could describe the hurt / The dullest knife just sawing back and forth / And ripping through the softest skin there ever was / How were you to know?” -Hate to See Your Heartbreak, Paramore "It's holding on, though the road's long / And seeing light in the darkest things And when you stare at your reflection / Finally knowing who it is / I know that you'll thank God you did" -1800, Logic "Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again / You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now / If only you had seen what you know now then" -Innocent, Taylor Swift (My bb) "10 months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it / 10 months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it // Rain came pouring down when I was drowning / That's when I could finally breathe / And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean" -Clean, Taylor Swift “I guess I always knew / That I had all the strength to make it through.” -Believe in Me, Demi Lovato "I'm addicted to the madness / I'm a daughter of the sadness / I've been here too many times before / Been abandoned and I'm scared now / I can't handle another fallout / I am fragile, just washed upon the shore / They forget me, don't see me / When they love me, they leave me" -I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, Demi Lovato “I'm overwhelmed / I need a voice to echo / I need a light to take me home / I need a star to follow / I don't know” -Nightingale, Demi Lovato "I'm a walking travesty / But I'm smiling at everything. // Arrogant boy, Love yourself so no one has to." -Therapy, All Time Low "I tried it once before but I didn't get too far / I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart. / But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die / But nothing very special ever happens in my life / Take the blade away from me I am a freak, I am afraid that / All the blood escaping me won't end the pain / And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me / I died to be the white ghost / Of the man that I was meant to be" -Ghost, Badflower "Are the pieces of you / In the pieces of me? / I'm just so scared / You're who I'll be / When I erupt / Just like you do / They look at me / Like I look at you" -DNA, Lia Marie Johnson Movies and series to try : -The Perks of Being a Wallflower (The book is bomb af. if yall havent tried, ur missing out) -The Kings of Summer -Never Let Me Go -The Art of Getting By -Silver Linings Playbook -Winter’s Bone -The Lovely Bones (The script. The words) -Me and Earl and the Dying Girl -American Horror Story -Black Swan

pps. remember that every one has their own pace and point of view. don’t push yourself too hard, and don’t overthink. give yourself time, and respect all your emotions. analyze them but not more than like 5 minutes as anything beyond that might cause you to overthink and be sadder. and sad is not rad. hehe. you got this. you got you. self love is the best even though it can be tricky to do. nobody else is like you. you’re the only one of you (i just remembered me.......... i might have hummed it while typing it mid sentence). consider other people’s opinion but do not let it cloud your own judgement as you know yourself best. dont let other comment’s define you. spread love. vibe people you vibe with. ayeeee lets go!!! 

ppps this is my last post bc im happier now and know myself better. i no longer limit myself on the age that I want. I want to live as long as how God wants me to be. hehe. 

x :D

[hellswolfie]

House of Hades review

From the Heroes of Olympus. 

THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE : 

- Jiper. I never liked this relationship, I don’t even understand their dynamic or why they like eachother so much, sometimes it just feels like it’s because they find eachother pretty and that’s it. Also they tend to bring the worst out of eachother, which could actually be interesting if it was done on purpose but since it’s not it’s just bad. By that mean I mean Piper charming up Jason when he so much as thinks about another girl who happens to have a crush on him. Her tendency to use her charm speak is really worrying at times, how she uses it on her friends and even boyfriend so casually like that’s mind control !!! And he thinks it’s “fair game” which NO it’s not it’s extremely messed up to be that insecure that you feel that you have to brainwash your boyfriend to make sure he doesn’t leave you. Ask Voldemort. Also there is the fact that Jason actually KNEW about Reyna’s feelings for him. I don’t blame him for not outright rejecting her because come on that’s an extremely awkward conversation to have, especially with someone you’re supposed to work with everyday to lead people. But like, I already thought he was an asshole because the first thing he said to Reyna when he came back after months of dissapearing was that he wanted to make his girlfriend visit New Rome. Now it just makes it worse. 

Frank’s physical change. It was just so unnecessary and...kind of send bad messages. What was so interesting about Frank was that he was NOT a stereotypical Ares kid, he even hated the idea of being one at first. Him being all chubby added a lot to his character and it’s really disappointing that now he’s super athletic and I’m so tired of the “he has to physically change and become more of a stereotypical hot dude to complete his arc” . 

Hazel’s magical powers. Look i wouldn’t say I HATE it but I just don’t see the point of it? It doesn’t add anything to her character, only powering up more even tho she was already far enough powered up already imo. I think maybe it would have been more interesting to give this arc to Piper since it’s in line with her Charm Speak. 

The lack of Nico x Leo. Yeah yeah I know it will never happen but at least one conversation between them could have been so interesting? Like this two are so alike in so many ways! They both have extreme self worth issues and see themselves at the outcasts. They both have a tendency to run away (Leo mentionned that in his first chapter in the lost hero) and hiding their feelings. They both lost their only family and have a lot of trauma. Also they both are real sweet boys inside even though they don’t like to show it too much (let’s not forget Nico was the only one who was nice to Hestia and Bob, and Leo really did something so kind for Frank there). So they could understand eachother like no one else could, but also bring eachother something because they have both different ways of coping with that : Leo is desperate to belong, being the joker and doing everything he can to be useful to the point he doesn’t think anyone would like him for him if he wasn’t all that so he kind of has to play a role in his mind, while Nico just withdrawns himself and rejects everyone around him. They could really balance eachother out. Like imagine their relationship development, going from dislike, Leo being creeped out by Nico and Nico finding his jokes annoying, but then they get to talk and realize they’re not so different and...I’m so frustrated we didn’t get that!!! (PS : if you know a fic where that happens during HoH please give me the link!!)

- It was too short to have 7 POV. Well actually, this is more of a compliment because that means I love the characters so much and I wanted to see more of them. But that almost means that each character didn’t have that much screen time in they POV which made their developemnt in there pretty rush. 

Coach Hedge. Look, I really liked him getting more depth with his girlfriend being pregnant and his dead mother but all along the book i couldn’t help but wonder...What is he good for? Why is he even here? I mean he’s supposed to be the protector right? But like, it’s always the kids (the KIDS) who have to take care of him and handle him so he doesn’t do anything stupid. So he’s supposed to be the protector but he never does anything useful, in fact he always finds a way to make the situation worse like when he makes Jason lose his sword because he wanted to beat up a giant turtle so bad. He never helps when it comes to plan because the only thing he says is that he wants to fight even though honestly he’s the weakest of them all. I mean maybe he’ll finally do something useful in the final book, who knows? I still liked knowing he’s the one who brough Clarisse to camp, though, makes so muchs sense...

THINGS I LIKED : 

- The POV characters. I loved seeing more of Frank, finally, when he was in the background in the last book, and I loved seeing his development and him being more and more of a leader. Of course I loved Percy, Annabeth and Leo that’s a given. Even though her new powers annoyed me, I still enjoyed Hazel’s POV because she’s still very interesting to follow and I love the way she thinks, she’s very clever. I also liked Piper’s chapter yeeeeaaaaahh !!! And same for Jason, FINALLY AFTER FOUR BOOKS I ACTUALLY LIKE HIM (because he finally has a personality) !!! This two can become very interesting once they stop being so wrapped up around eachother. Like Jason’s struggle between his Roman side and Greek side was really cool to follow, and Piper showing how badass she can be but always wanting to be more? Yes I like that ^^

- Friendships !!! Friendships !!! Finally !! Yeah I was glad this book focused a bit more on friendships than the last one. I loved the Jason x leo stuff, how Jason really seems to admire Leo and how he was the only who realized how sad Leo were after Calypse. Leo x Hazel finally became a friendship instead of the weird thing they had going on thanks god. Leo confectioning something to protect Frank’s staff was so adorable and kind of him like that’s my sweet boi !! I LOVE the potential of Jason x Nico and also maybe Frank x Nico. Piper crying and hugging Annabeth when they are reunited awwww !! And Piper and Hazel bonding over Hazel learning Piper how to fight and Piper helping her with her magic I really liked that  (even though I would have like it better if Rick would have showed it instead of just telling us about it). Even Frank and Hedge were pretty heartwarming. 

- The Tartarus plot. WOW. It was just...WOW. It was so well written from start to finish, i could feel the horror of this place and how it changed Annabeth and Percy (especially Percy) which was so interesting. Of course the Percabeth moments gave me life. And like...the monsters that give them curses when they die, Nyx, The Nice Titan and The Nice Giant, Tartarus himself...It was just all so good and hurt in the best of way. The “Bob says hello” went straight to my heart. Favorite part of the book. 

Caleo : Do i think they should have had more time to develop if Leo is supposed to be THAT in love? Yes. Do i think Nico x Leo would have been so much better and interesting and had so much more potential especially at a slow burn romance where they both become best friends and fall in love in this book but are to afraid to admit yet (again, please give me a link if you know a fic that does that)? Also yes. But I have to admit, they were hella cute. I liked their dynamic (we’re all sluts for ennemies to lovers, no?), and i get how Calypso can be good for Leo : she also has abandonment issues and they work very well together, she’s not afraid to tell him off and he really seems to have grown up after meeting her (and getting his first kiss, which again : hella cute). And I also see how he can be good for her : he’s not like the other Stereotypical Hero she met on her Island, she actually had to get to know him instead of falling in love instantly, and got more in touch into her more mischevious side which I liked to see. Also if he does come back to her (and I better hope he does because he deserves it), that could be an adorable scene and they could have their shop they talked about and...Yeah I like them. 

NICCOOOOOO : my baby death boy finally got more screen time and damn it was so good. Of course there was the Cupid Scene. I didn’t like how he was basically forced to come out but I still loved the intensity of this scene, and the revelation that he was in love with Percy and he hated himself because of that? My baby needs a hug (and while it hurt, it was also pretty funny in the end how Percy was so confused about Nico’s aptitude towards him, always and forever oblivious to when someone has a crush on him). But also that makes so much sense. His relationship with Jason? Loved it, loved how Jason gave him advice about opening up more to people (and I totally relate to Nico, I’d much rather raise the dead and hide in hell than doing that) while still being kind of scared of him but wanting to be supportive and seeing how this child fucking needs therapy !! I can’t wait for Nico to finally feel like he belongs (which he would have with Leo!!!!). Nico x Hazel has my heart, their dynamic is just so fucking sweet, like even though she doesn’t totally understands him because he still keeps her at arm lenghts, you can see she loves her brother so much and it’s clear it is mutual. Like forehead kiss my heart (forehead kisses are a weakness of mine) !!!! The scene of him and Frank sharing their interest about Mythomagic was so pure and broke my heart at the same time, I mean like Percy said he’s not that little kid insouciant kid anymore :(  (also props to Percy for not being an ass to him which doesn’t really happen often). Anyway I LOVED seeing more of him. He’s such a great and interesting character and i love him so much. Also of course, like always, he was a total badass and I have to asmit, even though I want him to belong, it was kind of amusing how this scrowny, pale and needy of sleep 14 years old terrified the all powerful demi gods on the ship (well ok he is the most powerful of them all but still). His vibe is just that good. But I really want him to have this someone who manages to make him slow down his walls, you know? (even if it’s not Leo snif). 

So that was it. I don’t know it that’s ineresting for anyone but I like to vent so ^^

My reviews for : 

The Lost Hero; Son of Neptune; the Mark of Athena

[brittlebutch]

Ok. HLVRAI time

Tommy is autistic obvs

special interest in dogs and reading

beyblade to a lesser extent, but only the actual game and not the show 

on the other hand - bakugan, but only the show and not the game

likes soda so much bc it’s Fizz and that’s a good stim^tm

also really likes running because that’s also a good stim, also just crazy fast and he likes being better at things than other people

really slow to talk and also did speech therapy for a while as a kid, has trouble getting words out sometimes but it doesn’t particularly bother him

what does bother him is when people treat him like a kid because of his interests and the way he sounds, he doesn’t appreciate that much at all. he’s almost forty and he has a doctorate - he’s not stupid or a child

fixated on rules but only sometimes 

pockets are just Full of stim toys, 

Benrey is also autistic and ADHD as all hell

absolutely no handle on any situation and Only vibing

constantly losing focus and trains of thought, also fucked to hell sensory wise and can’t understand half of what people are saying - especially if they’re yelling

genuinely doesn’t get what gordon is always so pissed about -- alternatively, doesn’t know what he’s so mad about but Is aware that it’s something he’s doing, but he doesn’t Get what it is so he doesn’t know how to or particularly care about fixing it

hyperfixation on PS systems and games, only thing that properly catches his attention - best way he knows how to make friends with people

equal parts “monotone voice that makes him sound sarcastic even when he’s not” and “really sarcastic all the time but not Quite in the way NT people are so no one ever Gets it right”

someone in the commentary said that benrey is funny bc it’s like he has no situational awareness when someone’s not directly talking to him and they were Right, the guy is not at all engaged in his surroundings unless he has to be, you stop talking to him and he Zones Out immediately and doesn’t zone back in unless you make him

You know what, fuck it, all of them are autistic

Volume control? Gordon doesn’t know what that is 

He also has no idea what emotional regulation is or how it works, Everything is a big deal all the time and even the smallest things stress him out to high hell

likes the HEV suit because it keeps people from being able to touch him - sound doesn’t bother him all that much but he’s really sensitive to tactile input and doesn’t like being touched at all

likes to have a schedule because not knowing what’s going on stresses him out 

Coomer’s “Hello Gordon” - the guy has tourettes and has never once cared about explaining it to another person in his life and he’s not about to start now

also just Really likes the way gordon’s name sounds when he says it, so he says it constantly 

just REALLY likes to make noise, vocal stimming constantly and doesn’t care even a little bit about whether other people think it’s strange 

boxing is Great because its’ high impact and coomer can’t get enough of that shit

“fuckers put me back in my tube, can’t have shit in the black mesa”- bubby hates that thing because it’s sensory hell 

has a special interest in space but also just really loves the idea of being up there because it would be Quiet and Cool and those are two sensory things he really likes 

Bubby, Coomer and Tommy have been on the same project team together for years because they’re like the only ones who can work with each other - everyone else thinks they’re annoying and they think everyone else is insufferable to talk to

[creativetrashcans]

Simmer - Get To Know

By @cupcakegnome

Tagged: @ talemagne

CHIWAWA

Your name: Lonely Chiwawa (she/her)

Languages you speak: Catalan, Spanish and kinda English 

Are you a mermaid: No not really... can barely swim tbh

Your play style: mmmh i like most things, creating sims, builidng is so much fun too, also challenges mmh stories no tho i cant write em LOL rip 

Your Selfsim picture: 

Stories or gameplay, builds, lookbooks, edits or cc: Challenges, builds and some other things coming heh

Your favorite age state: Teen or young adult

Your favorite season: Winter!!! i feel it has a lot to do and the snow is soooo pretty 

Your favorite holiday: Only played harvest fest so far... in sims BUT irl i like Christmas 

How was your day: It was chill and nice, even went outside wew

Your favorite career: Painter...........................maybe?

Your favorite aspiration: Soulmate

Your favorite EP, SP or GP: Seasons 

How old is your simblr: Less than a year i think 

Have you woohooed: Yes, many times

Your favorite skill: Cooking, parenting and painting

The size of your Mods folder: 37,7 GB

Your 3 favorite mods: uhhhh hahaha impossible to choose

Your interests (other than sims): Drawing, make up and nails, mmh minecraft old anime and series too 

Your favorite sim (picture if possible): Maybe not my favourite Sim of all time because we got so many! But this is our version of Franky form One Piece. Before starting any project just for fun we made him and I always felt so proud of how he turned out. Not only he looks very attractive, i also feel its a good representation of how a human him would look like.

Which Sims games you have played (including mobile games): Sims 2, 3 and 4 

Propose a crazy scheme: People being nice always and world being in peace and not dying in gud old climate change

Best part of simblr: seeing how other people enjoy the sims and how they play also them aesthetic 

Worst part of simblr: mmhhhhhhhh lack of comunication between players i don’t feel much sense of community here at least now... i actually suck at comunicating so..... dunno

What other games you play: Minecarft recently but not much into games actually

Other websites or accounts (origin, twitter etc..):  

Twitter --> https://twitter.com/creativetrashc1

Intagram --> https://www.instagram.com/creativetrashcans/

Personal Instagram --> https://www.instagram.com/elia_clco/

My side tumblr --> https://generationtrashcan.tumblr.com/

Are you single: Nuuuupe

WORM

Your name: Lively Worm (she/her)

Languages you speak: Catalan, Spanish and some English.

Are you a mermaid: Nope, I’m a worm.

Your play style: I love building houses and decorating them, dressing sims and doing their makeup.

Your Selfsim picture:

Stories or gameplay, builds, lookbooks, edits or cc: I do gameplays, challenges and buildings.

Your favorite age state: I think it’s young adult because I can explore more.

Your favorite season: Autumn, because of the beautiful colors.

Your favorite holiday: I don’t know yet, I haven’t explored all of them.

How was your day: It’s 15:40h and I’m hungry, I want to eat soon.

Your favorite career: Musician.

Your favorite aspiration: Musical genius, unsurprisingly.

Your favorite EP, SP or GP: Pets and vampires.

How old is your simblr: Less than a year.

Have you woohooed: ¬_¬

Your favorite skill: I don’t know, maybe the singing skill?

The size of your Mods folder: 29,9 GB.

Your 3 favorite mods: I can’t choose. There are so many so good!

Your interests (other than sims): Singing, drawing, anime, manga and kpop.

Your favorite sim (picture if possible): Why?? I can’t choooooseeee, I love most of them! Okey, after a lot of thought I’ve chosen Una, Usopp’s daughter from our 100 Baby Challenge, because the three of us love her and I love drawing her!! She’s really charming and she’s grown up really well. I relate to her because she also loves drawing and vampires.

We posted some drawings of her on twitter and insta!

Which Sims games you have played (including mobile games): Sims 2, 3 and 4. And some PS game I don’t remember.

Propose a crazy scheme: Making people learn expectatives are bad and judging others hurts everyone involved.

Best part of simblr: I can share our art and tell many stories with interesting sims.

Worst part of simblr: The lack of comunication.

What other games you play: Kingdom Hearts, Hollow Knight, The Last of Us... mostly play station games.

Other websites or accounts (origin, twitter etc..): 

Common Twitter: https://twitter.com/creativetrashc1

Common Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/creativetrashcans/

Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makaru_walker/

Are you single: No, I’m Turtle’s.

TURTLE

Your name: Lazy Turtle (she/her)

Languages you speak: Catalan, Spanish, English and some basic French.

Are you a mermaid: Pretty sure I’m not.

Your play style: Starting projects and never getting past the building process is a playstyle? I usually like to have some objective though, instead of just playing aimlessly.

Your Selfsim picture:

Stories or gameplay, builds, lookbooks, edits or cc: I find stories pretty awkward to portray on Sims, and fashion and decoration were never my strong point. So I stick to challenges, both found and created.

Your favorite age state: Depends on what for. Young adults are the easiest to manage and have more options, but toddlers are the most challenging on a Baby Challenge.

Your favorite season: Autumn, always. Its colors are just beautiful.

Your favorite holiday: Haven’t played them all yet, so I can’t say.

How was your day: (Tumblr erased all my hard work on this thing, but the day I first wrote it I had my blood taken so not great). Today, I discovered the extent of human stupidity in mass hysteria situations. Never seen a supermarket so empty of food before.

Your favorite career: Hypotetically, writer. But I haven’t played as one yet so I can’t confirm.

Your favorite aspiration: Big Happy Family’s been pretty fun for our matriarch, but I still have many more to explore. (I can say it’s not the kid’s mobility one. Stupid mecanography.)

Your favorite EP, SP or GP: Probably Seasons so far.

How old is your simblr: Less than a year.

Have you woohooed: Uh.

Your favorite skill: Uhhh... No idea.

The size of your Mods folder:  29,9 GB. Worm and I share a game and a mods folder, but Chiwawa dumps her messily organized mods on us from time to time.

Your 3 favorite mods: Wow nope.

Your interests (other than sims): Mostly writing and reading (I’m the main writer of this tumblr, btw), but also videogames, anime and k-pop.

Your favorite sim (picture if possible): I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite sim of all time, I have far too many sims I love for different reasons, but this one was specially hard to get right so we feel particularly proud.

His name is Carles Serra, and he’s a parental figure for two of the MCs of the story we’re working on. He’s a math and ethics teacher on a very exclusive highschool, and he needed to have both a very refined and snobbish air and this inevitable awkwardness all math teachers seem to have. Plus, he has to deal with teenage drama all through the story, so I feel like he needs a lot of love. And maybe some vacation.

Which Sims games you have played (including mobile games): Sims 2, 3 and 4. And I think I once tried to make a sim on a terrible PS2 version or something.

Propose a crazy scheme: Mandatory therapy for teens so everyone learns empathy and management of one’s emotions would be pretty neat.

Best part of simblr: Sharing our common passion with others in a free and creative way, probably.

Worst part of simblr: The lack of interaction, I guess. I had only ever been in a very small fandom here on tumblr before, and compared to the closeness of that comunity, I feel like simblr is... very scattered.

What other games you play: Play Station ones, mostly. Whatever gives me a compelling story.

Other websites or accounts (origin, twitter etc..):

Common Twitter: https://twitter.com/creativetrashc1

Common Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/creativetrashcans/

Personal Twitter: https://twitter.com/ALazyTurtle1

Are you single: I’ve been dating Worm for years now.

We will tag: @hellobreadsims

[theodorevg923]

Just wanna say I hope they’re gonna be okay though… I know how it can be. It’s even worse when the internet is the only place that is actually understanding of what you go through. Family? Therapists? None of em care, but random folks online like me do.

PS: I am just trying to say that the tying up isn’t a good thing so a certain robot fox on my end who is made entirely of wires doesn’t get any bright ideas from you…

It's not something that can, or should, be used for long periods of time, but it is the easiest way to get the jump on someone. And only if they trust you enough, otherwise the fallout after can be disastrous and only harm them further.

And it's because you've been through similar and different situations but still feel the same pain, and feel empathy, not apathy. He tried therapy once, and it worked, but it was quite expensive and couldn't keep up with the cost.

As for being alright, it'll take some time to get him back in order, but there's a lot of factors out his control that he currently can't fix. For right now, it's just a waiting game and may be a few days or longer until I can patch him back up. So expect to be seeing a lot more of me while I give him a much needed break.

[deanssweetheart23]

Do you have any fics to recommend? I love the slow burn of angst and of course fluff, ALL THE FLUFF. I love Tennessee Whiskey and all of your stuff gets me feeling all warm and fuzzy, is there anything new coming up? Ive read nearly everything you’ve written at least three times, you’re my fave ༼ つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ༽つ

My dear anon! I finally found time to reply to this and --hopefully, I won’t be an idiot and lose everything when I’m just a click away from posting. First of all, thank you so, so much for your kind words. I’m so glad you like it, this one’s a favorite of mine as well. And wow, three times? THANK YOU, you’re the best. 

Now of course, I have fics to recommend because I read all the things. Let’s start, shall we?

@trexrambling: My sunflower. Jess. What can one even say about Jess? She’s amazing. The way she writes things, the feeling she puts into her work is just mind-blowing. Her characterisations are always on point and she writes all the sass. I love it. 

Fics you should be reading: Through Your Eyes (seriously, I want this entire series tattooed on my body), Used To This, Falling Stars, 10 Reasons, Afraid of Home, Bite Me, For You, I Would

@percywinchester27: Ana. Ana is amazing, okay? She paints bright pictures with words and she knows how to create the most amazing, compelling and thick plots ever. Nothing in her writing is random and she writes the most amazing Weechester fics ever. Ever, I’m telling you.

Fics you should be reading: Stroke of Luck, Tic Tac Toe, Dee, Silences, It’s Him, Band-Aid, Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwiches.

@ravengirl94: Twin’s fics are just... Uh, what’s that word? Fan-frigging-tastic. The stories are realistic, perfectly paced, detailed and a perfect mix of fluff and angst and so much sarcasm. 

Fics you should be reading: The Arrangement, Hold On, I’m Coming, Marry Me, This Can’t Be The End.

@atwistoffate: Okay, so this one has such a special place in my heart because I just love everything she writes. Like, if her fics were a man, I’d marry them. She just... She puts such emotion in her stories, love her characters so deeply and it’s...mind-blowing. I can picture myself reading her book while I sip my coffee in my favorite coffee shop, she’s so talented.

Fics you should be reading: Broken (hmm, yeah, it’s gonna break you), Ephemeral (SAME), How One Day Changed Everything, A Song For Your Heart (question: is the title inspired by James Blunt’s song Carry You Home because it reminds me of it so much), I love you too

@torn-and-frayed: Steph’s writing is frigging icredible. First of all, she gets Dean. She sees through his layers, understands and loves and accepts every aspect of him, flawed or not, and that is evident in her work. And then, she just has the most brilliant ideas ever. However. Grab a pack of tissues and some ice cream before diving into her masterlist, you’re gonna need them.

Fics you should be reading: Twist of Fate, Series Rewrite, Daddy’s Little Lovebug, Art Therapy, Little Things, Drugs Don’t Work (still not over that one, tbh)

@lipstickandwhiskey: Lips. I love Lips. Again, her characterization of Dean is 100% on point. Her writing is breath-taking, the things she can do with words mind-blowing and, if I’m being honest, what I admire the most about her fics is how she focuses on the relationship Dean have because they love and respect each other as personalities, without, however, excluding physical attraction. She just doesn’t make it the most important part and, to me, that’s beautiful.

Fics you should be reading: Hold The Line, Tape Hiss, Ferrum Gloria, Balconies, Bright and Warm, Words and Actions

@there-must-be-a-lock: I haven’t had the chance to really dive into the world of Lou’s writing, but I realized, from the very first sentence of hers I read, that she is phenomenal. She has a very unique, very amazing way of writing and going through her entire masterlist is in my bucket list.

Fics you should be reading: Let’s Get Married, Tiger Teeth, Heart of Gold.

@blacktithe7: Much like in Lou’s case, I haven’t had the chance to read as many fics as I want written by this brilliantly talented person. But I have read Erin’s series Forward and all I can say is that she is one magnificent writer. I don’t normally like RPFs for my own reasons, but she wove this story so perfectly and respectfully that it was impossible for me to ignore. A masterpiece, really.

Fics you should be reading: Forward (and I’m sure plenty others, but I have to read them first)

@sixtysevenandwhiskey: Annie’s relatively new when it comes to posting her work, but she is so good. Emotive, on point, detailed and dusted with love for Dean and Sam her fics are the best.

Fics you should be reading: Brother (one of my all time favorites), In The Wind, Stay, I’ve Got You

@masksandtruths: Rae is so amazing with words. So amazing. Her characters are always so well-rounded, she paints Dean’s and Sam’s portraits in depth and she comes up with brilliantly original stories. I was impressed from the very first sentence and I continue to be, every single time.

Fics you should be reading: anagrAMSTERDAM (this one is mind-blowing, I still think about it), Never Normal, This Time Around, Bless Your Heart

@hannahindie: Let me put it this way. Hannah is awesome. She works so hard on her fics and she loves doing so. Her work is beautiful and very different from the usual reader inserts in this site and it gives me a strong Stephen King vibe sometimes (Hannah, I really hope you like the guy, or please, just ignore this). And she gets our boys, you know?

Fics you should be reading: Wake up, Sammy, Love Games, Freaky Friday, Simple Man, If I Could Start Again, Memories, Brother, I’m Right Here, 67′ Chevy (this one is so good it will haunt me until the day I die), The Wedding Singer (a collab series with the amazing @pinknerdpanda. I haven’t had the chance to dive into Amanda’s world yet, but she’s talented and Barcelona and Ain’t No Sunshine are a proof of that).

@sunlightdances: Remember how I say I love it when talented writers nail Dean’s characterization? Well. Katie is definitely one of them. There’s something about her writing I can’t quite put my finger on, that gives it a very specific vibe. When I read her work, I feel like I’m wrapped up in Dean’s arms under my favorite blanket. She captures Dean’s softnesss perfectly, she lights on his rough edges perfectly, she’s just perfect.

 Fics you should be reading:It’s So Clear Now, Now And Then, I Get A Little Lost, Don’t You Forget About Me (the fic that made me fall in love with her writing), Love Laid Down, Loving Everything You Do

@wheresthekillswitch: Lee is another writer I really want to read more closely. She is insanely talented and I could tell that much from the time I read Unspoken. It’s yet another Jensen series and, taking under consideration the fact I do not read RPFs often, you can understand how worth it this is. It’s a beautiful story about love in every shape and form, and fate and friendship and there’s so much love and respect for Jared and Jensen that it warms my heart.

Fics you should be reading: Unspoken  (again, I’m sure plenty others, but I have to read them first, lol)

@imagining-supernatural: Last but not least, the master of original stories and mind-blowing plot twists and angst and fluff and perfection. Aubrey is so frigging talented and you can tell that by reading her stories. Sarcastic and brilliant, every single fic in her masterlist is worth a read.

Fics you should be reading: As It Seems (this one is so perfect and I am going to make a full-lenght post about it at some point), Break Up With Him, You’re Not There (this one still hurts), Down With Me (SO GOOD), Jealous!Dean Imagine

PS. I know I’m forgetting people and fics and, so, I ask all of you to be forgiving. This is just a list on the top of my head, but there are many more writers I love. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make a post about them soon, as well.

Also. Regarding my writing plans I HAVE SO MANY. 

I’m currently working on a new, quite angsty fic ( @torn-and-frayed said you can blame her, lol), featuring demon!Dean. It’s mostly written, so hopefully, I can post it sometime after next week. 

Then, there’s a very fluffy fic coming right after that, in which we see the five times Dean Winchester almost kisses the reader and the one time he actually does.

I’m planning to work on Somewhere Only We Know Part III after that fic is posted. 

A fluffy slash crack-ish drabble (?) based on a prompt sentence by my sunflower @trexrambling is coming right after that and

I’m guessing the next part of Always is next, if everything goes according to plan. And so many more things I want to work on. 

So, that’s it, dear anon. Please forgive my looong reply, I hope I could help. Don’t hesitate to send me another ask if you want something else, I love talking to you, guys

[antagonist-chan]

oh yeah i have a real bad cold so i am very out of it

i have also given up on being productive for today

partially because it’s a lost cause

and partially because even trying would probably make things worse

now i haven’t COMPLETELY given up

because i am still trying to work on school

i’ve just briefly given up on keeping up my routine, doing art things, and working on antagonist gets her shit together: the movie

PS, on a completely unrelated note, i am becoming more and more dedicated to my transition??? there are two things that for years i thought i didn’t wanna do but am finding myself more and more open to the idea of doing

those two things are changing my name (to emily) and undergoing hormone therapy

in the case of changing my name, i don’t feel particularly dysphoric about “adrian”, but emily DOES make me feel euphoric. enough to overcome dysphoria in certain situations. like, i’ve been naming my player characters in games “emily” for a while, esp. when “emily” really is supposed to be me, and it. helps with certain things. there’s a game i started playing yesterday (not gonna name it, i don’t really encourage playing it and i don’t think i’m gonna play much longer) that constantly misgenders me but it doesn’t sting as much since i named my character emily.

in the case of hormone therapy, there are two things that make me super dysphoric- my facial hair and my voice- that i’ve been trying to deal with through non-medical means, but i am just. not getting very far. i shave literally every sunday, monday, wednesday, and friday, and i’ve done a lot of research on how to shave “right”, but i still have a facial hair problem. i’m sick of it. so god damn sick. and voice training isn’t doing much better.

now neither of these is decided yet. changing my name would be a MASSIVE legal pain in the ass, i still need to do more research on hormones, and i don’t wanna start hormones until i’ve changed doctors because i don’t really feel safe coming out to my doctor. not feeling safe coming out to my doctor also impacts the “changing my name” thing. i’d also almost certainly have to come out of the closet to certain conservative family members of mine and i. really don’t wanna do that.