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quinn finally learns shadow magic wizard101 servers proceed to crash 2 seconds later
#txt#convinced this was his fault smh my head#game couldn't process it#no bc right after i finished the quest i went#'how does this affect his lore'#then the game fucking crashed. like. HJDSNJDAG HE'S JUST DEAD NOW??#his other mom (gma raven) forbids it so she ended the spiral and w101 shut down forever#turning the game being down into a bit instead of whatever is going on in the official discord server#the game blew up i eated it
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they match :')
#.png#SIBLINGS!#this is what i think happens. in the future. in some distant hypothetical future that capcom refuses to acknowledge now#either because their current aa writers couldn't be at all assed to go through the past games in order to have their narratives in order#or because they went through it. and still decided it would've been funnier to throw in a siblings or dating joke#in addition to their other egregious crimes in regards to tie-in narratives for a game that is part of a SERIES#anyway yeah i think after their sibling reveal thalassa relinquishes the other bracelet to trucy#i think she's only ever kept it and not given it to trucy bc it's either the only thing that connects her to apollo#or (i've forgotten if she thought he was dead or not or if it was mentioned) she's been hoping he would find her#and recognize the bracelet. and see it's a match#i'm rambly today wow#this would've been a good day to stream my drawing process LOL#would've said all this in a vod i wouldn't keep and it'll die forever#but i didn't. so now it's in the tags mwah
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watching Until Dawn remake and thinking about Josh
#josh washington#until dawn#samantha giddings#hero plays games#my posts#my edits#HE'S JUST A LIL GUY!!#but that was creepy af Josh#i can explain a lot through maladjusted response to trauma and trying to process grief and depression#and misguided attempts to bring your friends closer together#and foolish assumptions that it would be Just A Joke#and unhinged behaviour due to medication withdrawal#BUT COME ON JOSH YOU DON'T FILM A GIRL IN THE BATHTUB#EVEN YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT#like ok he couldn't necessarily have known she would take a bath so i'm guessing it was improvised because he had cameras everywhere????#but josh. josh my man. no. absolutely not.
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A more fleshed out idea of how I would have ended the Lenector story in the most balanced way I can think of.
Lenore is Hector's prisoner, as per canon. He still treats her as nothing happened, like a good friend, but Lenore is sulking and angry and not even bothering to keep up the façade like Hector used to do in her position. It's unfair, after she treated him as her only confidant, and she couldn't care less, that's what the traitor gets. Hector thinks he should be happy, to have reversed the roles on her... but he isn't. Unlike Lenore, power over another person doesn't satisfy him. He can't help but see her as a depressed animal in a cage... much like he used to be.
He wanted to protect her, he really did, but only now he's seeing how much hurt he caused her. Much like she said she meant to do with the ring, although to this day he doesn't know if it was a lie or the truth. There is no joy in inflicting her the same fate she inflicted upon him, even if it comes from a place of well-meaning and not selfishness. He has seen what that kind of "eye for an eye" mentality brings to the world, and he wants none of it.
So, he finally takes a decision for himself, and repays the one debt he has with her. He helps her flee from the castle. He is, for the first time, showing empathy to a person and not an animal.
(I don't even think Isaac needs to be kept in the dark. Lenore on her own is harmless, nothing like Carmilla who became a danger to the world. Hector and Lenore are dangerous tools in the wrong hands, but they lack the ambition that makes them solid threats, as they are mostly concerned with feeling safe. If Isaac truly wants to do good to everyone, he has no reason to keep Lenore as a prisoner, not even to force her to work for him. Same for Hector, since the two might have "forgiven" each other, but they have no relationship whatsoever. Perhaps him heeding Hector's request could show more how compassionate he has truly grown.)
Lenore is confused as to why, and Hector more or less explains that he couldn't bear watching her drinking herself into a stupor. Lenore snaps, and yells at him that he has no right to feeling sorry for her after what he has done, after going behind her back, after ruining her life... and is promptly shot down by Hector flashing his mutilated hand. Every ounce of ire Lenore directs at Hector is actually directed at herself, and they both know it. She is deeply regretting everything she did for the sake of people that didn't even respect her, she is just too proud to apologize. And her pride, her insecurity, her need to be the one in control, was what prevented her from truly being the good person she wanted to be. The very reason Hector wasn't happy with her despite her best efforts, and destroyed her life.
She really thought something so paltry as a slave ring would tame the human spirit. She really thought humans, like vampires, would care more about safety than freedom. For a diplomat who set herself to bridge humankind and vampirekind, she let her basic instincts get the better of her.
"Why didn't you just kill me back then?" she yells, attacks, it feels so good to blame Hector rather than herself. "At least I wouldn't have known how little I matter to you!"
"I'm no longer that child," Hector responds. "I'm no longer the boy who believes to have the right to punish others. Besides, shouldn't you know the desire to spare someone's life no matter what?"
They had never breached that subject again, not after Lenore dismissed it in a fit of denial. It still weighs on her. He can no longer care.
"All this time," Hector says at last, "I expected an apology, but I think I don't need it anymore. As much as I don't need you anymore. I'm grateful for your efforts to protect me from your sisters' ire, so now I'll use them to live for myself. I'm sorry it had to be this way."
He holds no grudges anymore, and he has genuinely come to appreciate the real Lenore behind her masks and the way she took care of him during the previous six weeks, when the world would have chewed him and spit him out; but at the same time, he can't bear staying with her. She makes him too sad. It reminds him of how low he allowed himself to be brought for the sake of some scraps of love. She reminds him too much of a version of him he doesn't want to be. There are too many conflicting feelings in him. He can't help but think that, in another life, the two could have been genuine friends, if not more... but not this one. Too much baggage, too much shared misery. He is done with it. No more will he seek safety and love in other people, as if he wasn't strong enough. He deserves better.
Lenore doesn't know what to think anymore. She wants to die so badly, she is almost tempted to not hide herself from the sun: she can't concieve her existence as nothing more than a black hole, unworthy of living. She is nothing more than a disgusting monster doomed to spread misery to the world, she thinks, and she should die like one. She has nothing left, no allies, no home, and the one person she fell in love with is pulling away from her, and she can't bear being abandoned, and she completely understands why he's doing so. At the same time, however... Hector too has nothing left, and yet he wants to live. After everything he went through, after himself desiring death at Isaac's hand, he wants to experience real life, not survival like he has done since he was born. Lenore pretended to praise his strength when she was manipulating him, but now she has come to genuinely admire that trait. Can she, a vampire used to nothing but comfort, be as strong as a human being?
She wants to ask Hector if he thinks she's a good person. A glance at his mutilated hand answers her more than any word could. Lenore, all this time, had no idea what being "good" meant, she was only good at putting up a façade of gentleness, and she thought it was enough. All this time, she behaved like a vampire pretending to be human... so now, she will learn from the best human she has ever met. The best person. The only one who saw her as a person as well, behind her masks, behind her usefulness.
Even if Hector is now walking towards the dawn, with nothing but his resolution. For the first time, he will live for him, for himself.
They will never meet again, but in a twisted way, they gave each other what they needed to grow.
#netflix castlevania#netflixvania thoughts#netflixvania#not tagging the main tag#lenector#lenore thoughts#lenore castlevania#also not tagging hector because i don't want to use the same tag as game hector and i can't think of an alternative#this is really the fairest i could be#it doesn't fix all the issues of the storyline such as hector's contradicting plan or the ring straight up not working#but there you go. this is how i would have done things without punishing any of them unfairly#see just treat the sympathetic villain like a sympathetic villain and the victim as someone capable of growing#toxic ships are valid and toxic unhealthy dynamics fascinate me so! that's why i can't stop thinking about this story and its potential#also i couldn't help inserting some of the themes of the cod mangas#like associating humanity with strength and will to live#... and i think in the process i kinda turned lenore into game isaac whoops
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fictional female characters and characters with insanely obvious cluster B personality disorders will never know peace as long as te/s fans keep making posts about them i mean it
#text#this might be happening cause all te/s fans find the lore parts really interesting and don;t care about personalities and intricacies of -#- human behavior i guess which is cool you like what you like but @ some point U gotta understand ur saying some nonsense😒#U couldn't even pay me to read one page of some fantasy franchise lore doc let alone some te/s lore cus i don't find it -#- to be all that entertaining or useful. i generally don't get into fantasy stuff and stick to non-fiction when i can but i just love -#- sk*rim. lols#maybe the process of sucking in all the elf and dragon fictional lore is stripping some of the ability to form interesting thoughts#because the brain is occupied with all that knowledge#and it's hard to come up with them on ur own unless that video game is spoonfeeding a dynamic to you#i sound so mean but i don't mean anyone in particular so it's fine. my Blog MYYYYYY rules#everyone has some reason to like something they like and that's good. don't let me change your mind on wat u like kay#non-fiction is just very important to me#i sound snobby af don't screenshot me and post it on ur blog i don't need the te/s nerds jumping me KJUIIUEFRUHIJFREUERFIUOUERFIK
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there's an essay jumbled up in my brain about dunmeshi's beginning and how clever and deceptive it is as a sleight-of-hand trick that distracts the audience from the depth and scope of the worldbuilding and foreshadowing that's being set up the entire time by dangling zany characters and wacky dishes and biology fun facts in front of us, and how that serves to catch invested viewers off guard when those elements come to the forefront, but also how it works against it with other viewers wanting "more" and not seeing it because the plot bait isn't laid out up front
how people getting frustrated with the characters "not taking things seriously" is mirrored and refuted in the confrontation between Laios and Shuro. how the characters' attitudes aren't just a result of shallow low-stakes "comedy rules" where nothing matters, but are an extension of their personalities (Laios's nonstandard expression of emotions being offputting even to people he knows) and the world and social environment (adventurers being desensitized to death and injury because resurrection magic is commonplace). the way the party refers to "saving Falin" instead of "retrieving Falin's corpse," indicating that they still see her with full personhood, and how that phrasing leads to some readers/viewers believing that Falin is alive in the dragon's stomach, conscious of being slowly digested while the party carelessly fucks around "wasting time." how the weird tonal dissonance makes sense in-universe and yet is deliberately challenged more and more the deeper the party goes
all the character building and pieces of lore slowly weaving together the shape of the larger world, laying the groundwork for the major themes that will surface later. so much is right there in the "low-stakes" early episodes if you know what you're looking for (or pass the perception checks).
it can be so satisfying to see new viewers/readers pick up on the clues even in the earliest "simple" episodes, or notice new things and make connections yourself....and it can also be frustrating to see people dismiss oddities and dissonance as shallow or bad writing because they don't expect a "cooking anime" to have depth like that. why try to question and understand and peel back the layers when you don't expect there to be any layers?
why can't laios take things seriously for once?
#mypost#i'm majorly out of practice for doing any real critical cohesive writing lol#trying to put this into coherent words has been such a mess so here's a vague gesture at my thought process about it#it's both my favorite and the most frustrating thing to see#because i've seen SO MANY people say they dropped the show after a couple eps thinking they know what it's about and where it's going#a cute but ultimately unsustainable gimmick#people for whom the characters and the food/biology infodumping weren't enough of a hook#but i wouldn't change anything about the structure to put a more obvious plot hook in the beginning#because it would give the game away TOO much#i LOVE how the audience has to acclimate to the characters' attitudes about death#only for our assumption that it's all normal and fine in this world to be thrown back in our faces#how we're left to notice the winged lion appearing in statues and carvings and coins and armor in the background#long long before it's ever brought up as a real entity by the plot#the history of the kingdom laid out in plain view but nevermind that. magic painting food!#i've seen the language around falin and her resurrection cause so much confusion#but of COURSE the characters involved wouldn't directly say 'we need to get her corpse to revive it'#bc pragmatically they already understand that as their goal. it doesn't need to be stated out loud; it's just how this process works.#but also they don't SEE her as an object. a dead body.#they need to 'save her before she's digested.' 'the spell couldn't reach her in the dragon's stomach.' 'hang in there falin'#death isn't real to them. not really. and so it doesn't quite feel real to the audience either#not until they find her skull and that realization slams home#like......i keep comparing it to gravity falls#which is episodic and goofy in the beginning but also has a much more obvious plot hook to keep people interested#(a main character entering a secret bunker indicating that he's lying about his ignorance of the town's mysteries)#the main characters in gravity falls are AWARE that there is a mystery to be solved and are trying to find more information#but i don't think that approach would work as well for dm!#laios's goals were never that lofty. not until they HAD to be because the situation demanded it of him#it's the characters trying to solve one personal problem and finding themselves entrenched in something vast and dramatic#that they weren't even fully AWARE of when they set out. and we the audience are on that journey with them!#it's SUCH a good structure i wouldn't trade it for anything. but also. tragic to see people give up and dismiss it so fast.
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obs actually ain't too hard to work out at all. now the matter is 1. getting twitch set up 2. talking with my roommate 3. figuring out how to make the hotkeys on pngtuber+ work without having the brightass greenscreen in my face the whole time
ABCDEFGHIJ(sic)KLMNOP RSTUVWXY
23/26
#and per se and#there will be a test stream before this. of like. some word game#just so i know how the whole process works#then inbox unboxing#also my arms wiggle now but i couldn't be arsed to gif it
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Hi! Your order from Dine 'n Dash is ready— we've sent our finest delivery driver on over with your food. See you soon!
Project JJ— now officially known as Door2Door (Thanks to everyone that voted!)— is something I have been meticulously working on for almost a full month now, and we're closer than ever to seeing its reveal here on my blog!
I am so incredibly passionate over what Door2Door has become in such a short time. Everything I have drawn and conceptualized for it is unlike anything you've ever seen on this blog before, so keep an eye out for its grand unveiling— you won't want to miss it!
#Star Speaks#Door2Door#Project JJ#Teaser#Coolness#When I say I've been working on Door2Door meticulously... let it be known that I mean it#My hyperfixations are usually of a show or a video game but lately Door2Door HAS been my hyperfixation#Only a lucky few have been able to see my process on everything I have prepared to post sometime before the end of this month...#... and I'm very much excited to show it all to everyone here on tumblr!#I'm still keeping a lot of details under wraps though I will give one small bit of trivia to anyone reading#Door2Door was originally going to be another arcade game concept much like Rascal#Though when I couldn't settle on a sprite style I chose to opt for another 'form of media' so to speak#Something more... nineties we'll say
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My first game, "Memoirs of an Angel", is finally coming to Steam on July 30, 2024. How exciting!
To celebrate, I'm going to be live-streaming playthroughs of each of the four main routes of the game on my Twitch channel throughout the month of July, so keep an eye out for more information about that.
Can't wait for the end of July? The new game version, v1.3, has already been posted to itch.io.
#Memoirs of an Angel#otome game#visual novel#free game#*old lady voice* Back in my day you couldn't just publish your game to Steam#it had to be “greenlit” by people voting to express interest and your game would only be published on Steam if it got enough votes#that held me back from posting to Steam for a long time because I didn't think my stupid little game would get enough interest#but now you can just fork over some $$ and go through a brief review process which is much more accessible#so hey I'm official now!#Anigrams Blog
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Grace FUMBLED Ryan! BAD parenting to preach respect and then act contrarily (ie saying she wants him to feel safe, then not allowing him any autonomy). She should've let him leave and come back... or at least explained why she didn't want him to leave before deciding (ex: 'Homelander will kidnap you', etc). She needed to let him make the decision for himself... agh. AAAAA.
And now Butcher's no use because he's committed to being evil and can't offer ANYTHING good to Ryan!!! He was so right, they NEEDED to give Ryan more space... I know the external pressures seemed impossible, but dammit, Grace, this was no way to beat the odds!
(this is about The Boys season four)
#ryan butcher#the boys#How much does Ryan know about his dad's upbringing?#Because he's right... Grace trapping him would've been like Vought and young Homelander... AAAGH#I hate it!!! When the heroes are genuinely more moral than the villains#but they make the same fatal mistakes and doom their cause in the process!!#AAA!!! GRACE!!!!#I don't hate her. I think she was dead wrong but I do not despise her. I know she meant it from the bottom of her heart--#--when she said she loves him.#But as she said it I couldn't help but imagine Barbara saying that to young John in the exact same way...#Grace may not have wanted to be like that but her actions would've had the same effect.#It hurts because I know so much where she's coming from#but it's just dead true that they can't reach a happy ending by treating someone so inhumanely.#Anyway. I hurt#Homelander is EVIL and THE BAD GUY#and this is not mutually exclusive with the fact that HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN TREATED LIKE THAT (how Vought raised him)#And it HURTS because the protagonists who were able to get to Ryan understood the first part (Homelander evil)#but not the second!!!! (His upbringing was a moral abomination)#It hurty it hurty because I WANT Ryan to heal...I want SOME kind of closure to what happened to the kid Homelander once was...#Ryan and his dad (insofar as he is Ryan's dad) had the potential to get to that place Hughie described...that place of forgiveness#where it's not win all vs lose all.... where it's confronting hell and making something good out of it...#Homelander was corrupting the trust he and Ryan were building by traumatizing Ryan and pushing him to do evil things....#..but god...GODDD....Hughie was SO RIGHT in his speech... what he and Victoria had is the answer. That's the answer!!!#And there was a MERE GLIMMER of a chance that Ryan and Homelander could enact that healing#And damn!! After the name of the game being 'kill Homelander' for the other three seasons#seeing the answer be 'violence only exacerbates suffering.. let's make things better instead' .... It would've been so amazing...#ah! Too good to be true!!!!#Butcher saying 'If where you feel safest is with Homelander then I won't stop you' HIT SO HARD#knowing that Ryan has felt so afraid....#they made it about the relationship between a child and their abusive parent and uh BIG SURPRISE it's breaking me
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Okay so for the record I never played genshin and the only contact I have with it is the occasional yt short from this one guy BUT
My friend plays a lot and some time ago she was talking about pulling (is that the word?) for this character Wriothesley (who comes up with these names) and she showed us - uninformed people - his photo and asked for any thoughts just from the way he looked and I saw this
To some just a guy with fun hair, for some reason I see cat ears on him (I just now realized he in fact does not have cat ears) but ME? NO I see something more
I saw that face and the only thing I could think of was (drumroll please)
MY MAN LARRY the man the myth the legend (keep in mind I don't play Pokemon either just had a phase for poketubers around the time scarlet and violet came out)
And I just couldn't and then I heard some like defeat line from the first guy it was this exact thing " Instead of going big, guess I'm going home..." And now I believe that this guy is just Larry when he was young and going on adventures in a far away land of whatever the world of genshin is called
That is all
Take care
#i just couldn't stop thinking about this#its just so perfect in my head#like now the pieces fit#and i cant stop laughing about it#so now you can laugh with me or ridicule my thought process#i dont particularly care for either game but it was living rent free in my head and i needed to share#genshin impact#genshin wriothesley#wriothesley#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon larry#larry pokemon#join me in my madness
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"how can you be an animorphs fan and support Israel?"
I don't know, how CAN I be the fan of a book series talking about kids being forced to grow up too fast due to being a part of a war that has been going on for longer than they're alive, trying to defend their home against an invading force?
Seeing how this situation affects their mental state, world view and relationships with each other? Not being able to fully trust anyone else because they can turn out to secretly wish for your demise?
How can I be the fan of a series that mirrors the way I grew up, of feeling scared and lost and small but knowing that you have to keep going because there's no other way?
Knowing that the other side has people who are like you, who never really wanted to hurt anyone but are being forced to fight too, who were brainwashed from birth to not see people like you as people?
Knowing that innocents die in war, that cruel, messed up, unjust things happen in wars but not seeing another way forward?
Wanting to save your loved ones who are now being kept hostages?
YEAH I HAVE NO IDEA WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I, AN ISRAELI PERSON, BE AN ANIMORPHS FAN?
#animorphs: there's no black and white but sometimes you have to fight to protect the people you love#people on tumblr: ISRAEL BAD PALESTINE GOOD#Hey remember how every time the animorphs kill a hork bajir controller#they kill both an innocent hork bajir hostage and a yeerk that is threatened with starvation by their superiors if they won't fight?#remember how most taxxons only agreed to collaborate with the yeerks because they feel like being puppets is better than constant hunger?#remember how Serrow only wanted to do something good but ended up causing an intergalactic war?#remember how as early as book 6 Jake didn't blink before boiling alive dozens of helpless yeerks?#remember how the Howelrs who exterminated countless species were merely toddlers playing controlled by a higher being?#REMEMBER HOW ANIMORPHS IS A FUCKING COMPLICATED BOOK SERIES AND EVEN OUR HEROES COMMITED ATROCITIES THAT HAUNTED THEM EVERY DAY?#AND HOW WE STILL ROOTED FOR THEM BECAUSE WE KNEW WHY THEY DID THIS AND WHERE THEY'RE COMING FROM?#HOW MOST OF THEIR ATROCITIES WEREN'T JUST KILLING FOR THE SAKE OF KILLING?#Unlike you know#what Hamas is doing#killing for the sake of killing#sacrificing their own people in the process#brainwashing and treathening their population#Remember how the war is actually a chess game between two larger entities that use everyone else as a peon for the war between themselves?#Hm now that surely sounds familiar#Imagine thinking that a fictional war in a book series for kids is more complicated and morally grey than one in real life#And that you can know everything about it from Twitter and tik tock#Couldn't be me lol
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Every time I put this thing on I'm scared I'm going to take someone's eye out with these spikes. However with this much glue in a wig it means I have to do very little upkeep between cons!
(Full process under the cut)
[Skull pauldron] [Belt] [Greaves] [Toga + sash] [Wig + Laurels] [Armbands] [Flaming feet] [Satyr Sack] [Stygius v1] [Stygius v2] [Nectar]
This was my first time ever styling a wig beyond some brushing and hairspray as I did for my Snufkin cosplay. The base wig I used was Apollo in black from Epic Cosplay Wigs, and it was really good to work with! I probably should have shaken it out and used the hair dryer to make it more fluffy before I started, but I made it work in the end
To start off - gather reference images, and section out all the main points!
Then get your sister to teach you how to shape a spike. Don't fuck it up. Repeat this for all the other major spikes using the hairspray you bought 3 years ago, your mum's hairdryer because you don't own one, and PVA glue to keep those spikes sharp and everything together because you still don't know exactly what you're doing.
Then it's time to make a bunch of little spikes for the back, most of this will be covered up by the laurels. But damn, there's gaps, because a bunch of these spikes go up when the wefts go down! A smarter and/or more experienced cosplayer would have bought more wefts to sew in to thicken the hair and cover gaps. But who needs that when you've kept all the hair you cut off when making the spikes and you can hairspray and glue that into place to hide your mistakes!
While praying that no one notices the half kilo of glue that is now your wig, time for the laurels! I actually went through three versions - the first version I discarded straight away because my wig wasn't done when I started, and as a result of not being able to compare it was WAY too bulky, heavy, and didn't cover the right area. It did look pretty though. The second was what I wore to my first con - wire and some mesh material with the 'leaves' glued directly on. The leaves for both these versions were made of 3 layers of cheap fake material petals glued together, folded and painted - honestly too much work for the end result but it is what it is.
The third laurel's leaves are made of a thin wire covered in plastic laminate, left over from years ago when we used to cover our school books in it. Cut into the right shape, I then painted them, making sure to paint in the direction of the leaves 'veins' so when held up to the light they'd look more realistic. After that they were wrapped around a single thick bit of wire and a few sections hot glued for security.
Finally it could be attached to the wig! I just used a bit of thread and sewed them on in a few places, then adjusted the leaves to sit right. For an extra touch - some of the official art has embers tailing up off the laurels, so I added a few of my own. These are just some spare painted laminate glued to wire, the wire twisted and inserted into the hair.
Part of me wants to try and remake the wig from scratch so it's not such a glue soaked mess, or to go for a more natural look that I could actually brush my hand through like the Studio Grackle trailer, but I wanted a stylised look and I sure ended up with one!
#my cosplay#cosplay process#hades game#zagreus cosplay#yall my hands were so covered in glue working with that wig#like i actually couldn't fully wash it off at some points it was that bad#fusing with my skin. becoming one with the glue. they always warn your about hot glue guns but the hairspray was much more persistent#also art credits for the prints in the bg of the last photo is hawberries/sid stone/iguanamouth/artepaca and my friends vi and ravel
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Genuinely asking, because I'm so conflicted on this emotion.
Is it normal to be a little pissed that someone hears something bad happen in the house (Like a loud noise of something breaking) and they call out "Are you okay" and proceed to not check on you. Like at all. No follow up.
And in my defense I really didn't respond because after the thing snapped and broke my brain had to catch up to anything that followed, and by the time I realized what happened I also realized "Oh wow thanks I guess I'm glad nothing worse happened and I'm not hurt or anything"
Like am I little irritated? Yes. Very much so. But I'm also not going to make it a problem. I'm just sorta silently sitting here wondering if maybe I'm just a neurotic bastard.
#I struggle with knowing I have some social issues and wondering what's me overreacting#and because I'm always worried about overreacting I will then underreact#and I genuinely just never know how I should interpret or react to a situation#and I usually settle with doing absolutely nothing because what if I do make a scene and I shouldn't have#And I also feel like when I try to explain emotional moments like this to people they think I'm some mentally ill fuck#and like They're right but my feelings matter right? I'm not trying to bitch at anyone either I just want to express myself#I want to express that I feel like I didn't really matter in that moment#and a game someone was playing was more important than checking on me#like yes what if I wasn't ok#what if I passed out or fell and hit something and couldn't respond#I know that's not what happened but how would they have even known#personal#I'll probably delete when I figure out processing this situation
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still believe that the funniest most incorrect thing i got wrong about disco elysium before playing it was thinking that jean was the union leader. that he was evrart claire (or edgar claire). or alternatively that he worked in the post office or something.
#i avoided reading anything about the game for like four years because i didn't want to spoil it for myself#and i did a great job at it i guess because i literally had no idea the game was about investigating a murder like wow that was a plot twis#anyway#the mental process behind it was:#i saw jean in the gomf video and he looked like a post office director so i kinda accepted that he must have been that#but when i started playing the game i noticed there was a suspicious lack of post offices#on the other hand there was a big talk about the union leader and since i had seen that bitch of jean a lot i thought#he must be relevant so it must be this main guy from the investigation#but then i met evrart and i was like so maybe he is the second most relevant union man?#then i met jean and couldn't stand him and didn't speak to him through the game <3#the end#he would be better as a post office director anyway#it's personal tag again
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LMAO so funny thing is everyone knows the whole Sonic and Shadow looking alike thing is total bullshit and I totally agree those comments they try to pull in the games and show(s? I'm not technically a Sonic fan I dunno if it's multiple) make basically no sense to me but then my Mom comes in while watching Sonic Prime and says "So what, Sonic has a brother or something?" and this whole other world has opened up to me and I've seen the truth of it all
#so to clarify I do not consider myself a Sonic fan since I have never played a Sonic game and I've never read any of the comics#and idk the lore cuz I've never really bothered to watch other people play it and I have watched some of the shows#y'know my grandma had 4Kids so sometimes I would catch Sonic X on TV#but literally most of my knowledge of the Sonic franchise is just having people talk to me about it#like when I was a kid my grandma babysat these kids who were older than me I forget how old I was like under 10 I think#and one of the kid's big interest was Sonic so I would just sit and listen to him talk about Sonic the entire time I was there#he would play the games too I think but my brain didn't process any of that so I have no actual memory of the screen#I would mostly just pay attention to him talking cuz he would talk about it while playing it was great#so that is the base of my knowledge and then after my grandma stopped babysitting them it was radio silence#until y'know people would occasionally bring stuff up in videos I'd watch and I'd look @ videos about people talking abt Sonic#occasionally and see like memes or YTPs of Sonic or y'know abridged stuff#but I literally never actually watched a Sonic game until Frontiers came out and then The Murder Of Sonic the Hedgehog#and Sonic Prime is the first Sonic show I properly sat down and watched which show is great btw I enjoy it a lot#but yeah and it was vaguely purposeful like I was keeping myself away cuz I know how I am about stuff and I WILL try to learn EVERYTHING#if I get too interested in Sonic as a franchise#oh I did play Unleashed sometime after it first came out and couldn't get past like the first fuckin level but tbf I was like 7 years old#possibly 8 years old cuz I'm not 100% sure how much later I got the game but like I was really bad @ any game that wasn't just like#spamming buttons since I grew up on fighting games lmao#but yeah I dropped the game almost immediated I do not count that for anything#but yeah long story short: all my knowledge is second hand like I still think I know a good amount for what it's worth but#I wouldn't trust my own knowledge
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