#gale’s top ten

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale’s Top 10: Most Hated characters

Rules:

1. To make this interesting, I’m going to be picking characters that aren’t intended by the writers to be hated (annoying maybe, but not hated). So Villains aren’t going to be on this list since most are often supposed to be hated.

2. I will be covering Anime, manga, cartoons, and comics

3. Only content I’ve heard of (and at least somewhat have exposure to)

4. This is a VERY personal list. And If you happen to like a character I list. If it’s below the top 5, that’s fine. But if it’s above the top 5, please seek professional help.

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10. Z from All Grown Up!

This is supposed to be a 10 year old kid. I kid you not.

When he was first introduced, I did figure it was the simple don’t judge a book by its cover story. And yea it was mid back then. But I remember watching more episodes and realizing. Z is actually really f***ing boring and the episode about not judging would have worked if they were all 14 or 15, but Z is 10! They are all 9 to 11 years old! This show was so dumb! What parent lets their kid dye their hair and get piercings at 10?! How would he even know what punk is?

I think my main problem with Z is really the fact that it shows how he doesn’t really fit in a story of 10 year olds. Which was one of the big problems with All grown up! As a show. And personally I hate being reminded of why it fails so much as I did enjoy it as a kid.

Though out of all the characters on this list. He at least isn’t a jerk.

The other reason was I am a Tommy and Kimi supporter so…. Yea. That too.

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9. Ronaldo- Steven Universe

Now I know he’s supposed to be annoying. But that’s not my problem with him. His obsession with keeping beach city weird is fine. It’s the entitlement he has.

Not the conspiracy theories, it’s him trying to insert himself into it, trying to be the main character. And it’s always causing trouble for Steven. But I really think what does it is just how selfish he is about it. He never learns, starts to consider other people’s feelings. For Steven Universe, a show that gives pretty much everyone a redemption arc, Ronaldo basically goes “nah I’m good as is.” That’s what really grinds my gears about it.

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8. Chloe Carmichael from Fairly Oddparents

Now I should stress that before her introduction. The show was already on a decline with the introduction of Poof, Foop, Sparky.

But Chloe, oh she was a different breed of ruining the show. She made it unwatchable. Like people often complain about Mary Sue characters. CHLOE is a 100% grade A Mary Sue.

She just shows up, gets partial custody of the fairies, everyone likes her, but she somehow a bit miserable so she gets to have faries? Chester is WAY more deserving.

But seriously everything around her seemed to bend to her will. And it was so bad I think they canceled the show midway through the season.

But the reason she is so low is because she was simply the last straw on the shows decline and not the root cause. And I hardly watched the season she was in to care enough.

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7. Hiruzan Sarutobi - Naruto Shippuden

Now for those of you who watched only the first part of Naruto you are probably VERY confused on why this old man is on the list.

For those of you who have watched part 2. You know EXACTLY why he is on this list.

This man’s inability to stop ANY of the awful crap that resulted in the events of the story.

-He let the Uchiha extermination happen

-He let Danzo basically do whatever he wanted

-He didn’t stop Orochimaru who ended up attacking his village years later (and resulting in his death)

-Never told Naruto about his parents, and Litterally just gave the orphan money and dipped out.

-Didn’t stop the village from ostracizing Naruto

And the list goes on.

Like for some things, I get. The uchiha were planning a Coup and it could have gotten ugly but for f***s sake he could have done a better job in negotiations! Also why would he ever trust Danzo?

The rest is on him. Konohamaru is better off having Naruto as his mentor than that old bastard.

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6. Chris Thorndike - Sonic X

I hate this f***ing kid so much.

Oh people complain that Amy is so focused on sonic. Nah man, this kid only ever thought about sonic. This kid even tried trapping Sonic in his world because he didn’t want to say goodbye.

“But he’s lonely without his parents.”

WTF you talking about. His parents see him pretty often despite their careers and both clearly love him. He also has a maid and butler that both watch over and care for him. Not to mention uncle Chuck that is watching over him. Plus he has a group of friends his own age (all of which are more interesting characters than him).

I can’t even begin to describe how much of a jerk he can be. I will say the only reason he isn’t higher is because Chris actually TRIES to be useful in the matarex arc.

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5. Velma Dinkley - Velma

Or should I say Mindy kaling wearing Velma like a skin suit.

I hate when people turn beloved characters into self inserts and this entire show was this. Now I could go on about how they ruin Velma’s character. But this, this isn’t Velma. This isn’t even Scooby doo. It’s just using its name. And that’s all I can say. I’ve only watched enough clips to justify putting this on the list. This character and the show are both awful, so at least she isn’t ruining the show. And she does die, so at least there is some satisfaction. Which is why she is only this low on the list.

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4. Jared Shapiro - Powerpuff girls 2016

I don’t care what the interviews say. No one can convince me this kid isn’t a self insert of one of the writers.

An out of nowhere love interest for the main character.

While not as bad as the case of Velma, this one is much more personal having grown up with the OG powerpuff girls. So this makes me want to gag.

He’s such a bland and weird character. It’s just so creepy. I can’t even begin to describe how creeped out this character makes me feel. It does not feel like him and blossom are the same age either. It just ain’t right.

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3. Caillou from Caillou

I happen to like kids. Kids are creative and fun little gremlins. But whenever I see Caillou, the visceral urge to punt this child is intense.

He is the WORST child character in all of fiction. If the show never existed I’m 100% sure the world would be a better place.

He is a brat that NEVER learns. He says he does but he doesn’t. He is always the exact same little turd he’s always been. The only redeeming quality about that show is that the theme can be remixed into a bop.

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2. Paul Jeremiah Rabin from Amazing Spider-man

This man is probably the most hated man in all of spider-man comics.

Zeb Wells really s*** the bed so hard when he created this guy. Making a character that basically kidnapped Mary Jane, gave her super powers, made her get into a relationship with him, and basically ruined Spider-Man’s personal life.

You want to know how bad you messed up when in the issues where spiderman was possessed by the green goblin’s evil and he wanted to kill Paul, PEOPLE WERE CHEERING.

I do not think exists a single person that Likes Paul as a character. It’s actually kind of amazing.

But he is only number 2, because the ultimate spider man run is helping us forget the TRAVESTY that is Paul.

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1. Dave from Total Drama Pahkitew Island

He was the worst part of the worst season of total drama.

He started off as a whiny less then fun version of Noah and ended up as a clingy, psychotic toad that deserved to get ripped apart by bears.

Now with previous entrees I can kind of understand if there is someone that could like the character. Maybe…

But Dave?

If you actually like Dave and the person he became, we can not be friends. I would recommend a psych evaluation.

The boy is vindictive, controlling, condescending, and overall PATHETIC! And his label was Normal. The normal boy?! Nothing about that ‘Nice guy tm’ is normal. He was a piece of garbage.

Every action he takes is in his own self interest and I don’t see a SINGLE redeeming quality about him.

We are supposed to Want him to get together with Sky?

Him dating the Communal toilet would be a disservice to the toilet.

And that’s all I got to say on that matter.

[johnslittlespoon]

also whilst doing timeline research last night for what gale's transit journey was like after he went down (bc i'm apparently a stickler for historical accuracy in my yaoi wwII fic) i cried so hard i burst a blood vessel in my eye. really realllyyyy wish i was kidding but i woke up and looked in the mirror and gasped, i cannot show my face in public atm.

[copdog1234]

A friend got me a "scent of Gale" candle and 100% without exaggeration, if that man were real and actually smelled like that, I'd be glued to his side. (I probably would feel that way anyway if he were real, cause I love him so much, but whoever mixed the scent profile made something really good.)

[baldursarchive]

i have a very disciplined mind.   [gale for alice!]

her ear twitches slightly, glass blue eyes looking over the forest that extends beyond their campsite, alice...unused to the presence of company, or at least company from this realm. is trying to recall how to act, what to say. she may seem stern, unresponsive. and yet. her mind encapsulates an entire land, vast and treacherous to walk upon. her head tilts, long raven hair falls to a side, as her eyebrow perks up. "hmm." she starts, what may follow is perhaps the most words she has said to someone. in this case. gale. a wizard, so unusual, wizards tend to stay far from wonderland. it is ever too chaotic and misunderstood for their knowledge and books to click well together. that she understands to an extend. "-you seem to have one. yes. i have noticed. you remind me too much of my sister. liz. her mind was perhaps too disciplined...she offered guidance and led by example...for me to follow suit, it never truly did work i have a wandering stubborn head, a problem child and i suppose a problem adult now... you are not here to haunt me in her absence are you, wizard?" her hands rest atop of her blade, a greatsword with a silver glow. another one of the gifts from the land of wonder. a type of magic quite unfamiliar to the one seen in this world.

@baldursgay2

[britishassistant]

Gale’s Excellent Adventure 2 (Teaser)

Gale thinks that things are going well so far!

They’ve met and recruited a githyanki warrior—the first Gale’s ever seen outside of illuminations in scholarly texts!—and a rather dashing warlock who answers to the moniker “The Blade of the Frontiers”.

The fellow was hunting a war-devil, who turned out to be an unaccountably lovely tiefling with an infernal engine in her chest as well as a mindflayer tadpole on the brain.

He is looking forward to learning more about this exotic trio over the course of their travels together. And he’s learned so much more about his current companions too!

There’s been a few…fractious moments between certain individuals who shall remain nameless, but he’s certain everyone will be fast friends soon enough! They’re all in this together, bonded over getting rid of the mindflayer tadpoles.

And best of all, no one’s noticed a thing.

He’s been patient, and observant, and has learned enough by now to mimic the spasms the others get when their tadpoles are…tadpoling. Their mental communications are harder to fake, but nothing a sneaky “detect thoughts” can’t fix.

Yes, he’s blended in splendidly, if he does say so himself.

“Gale? Can I have a word?”

[sleepy-seal]

are you a “didnidoiforu” or a “el muchacho de los ojos tristes”

[sixteen-stars]

Tara, standing on top of Gale, his first night sleeping back at his tower: Mr. Dekarios? I regret to inform you that it is ten minutes past the hour and as you know I eat breakfast at 6 minutes past the hour. If I am not fed, I must begin the traditional tressym starving song

[what-does-the-moose-say]

Actually funniest part of breaking bad is when Walt realize Gus made the twins go after Hank instead of him with the purpose if hurting the cartel and instead of doing anything smart he just goes to Gus. And tell him he knew what he did???? Ask for more money? He is like I would have done the same thing. The guy just had multiple people killed by barley doing anything and Walt ask him for more money and insult him. He was legit insane for that.

[whirlpool-blogs]

whirlpool's personal MOTA fic recs!

I've actually been dying to put this together for a while now...today is as good an excuse as any! I might not know everyone's tumblrs vs ao3 names so I will NOT be offended if you tell me to correct something!! <3

the big list = going alphabetical order in my folder because YES I do download my favorites, it's like having your own little bookshelf!!

non-clegan fics:

nine mothers' sons by @reallylilyreally (truly beautiful, breathtaking, and **THE** John Brady bible for the fandom so make sure you pray to it every night)

at your heels by @reallylilyreally (this one is Ev Blakely, another really beautiful story that helps you understand just why Crosby's memoir speaks of Blakely with such love and affection)

clegan (or gale-centric, or john-centric) fics:

A Direct Solution by @sweaterkittensahoy (Gale & Marge proposition Bucky...so cute and so hot)

ain't it easy? by @stereobone (dom/sub with john as the dom but ohhh man it's so much more than just that!!!!! this fic is so full of FEELS. and it's also HOTTTT. and also the FEELSSSSS.)

all the rest of what I want with you by @london-cowboy (the level of care that went into writing this fic is insane and impeccable. down to its own internal timeline, little egan kiddos, and the ANGST. but it's all worth it, I promise!!)

back home where you're from, that's the measure of a man by wolfhalls (nice little oneshot of the bucks, I love the back-and-forth of their dialogue in this one, it really does feel like two people who know each other well)

bittersweet between my teeth by @blixabargelds (post-war adjustment...love when the two majors are a little messy and a little sad and also john calls gale the prettiest thing he ever saw so there's that <3)

bluebirds singing a song by ourdarkspirits (Marge jumps Bucky's bones. Then Gale joins. Super fun, super hot!)

Close and Yet Closer by Anonymous (LITERALLY THE MOST!!!!!! FIC OF ALL TIME!!!!!!! Gale is a little bit mean and John is a lot bit sweaty. Like all the time. it's amazing and you should read it and it WILL change your life.)

Corpse Song by birdwif (oof. john is miserable in the stalag he's scratching at the door he's gnawing his own leg off.)

deep breath baby by @defnotanarc (um FISTING. yeah. intense and delicious. side note sometimes the world isn't fair and people who are really talented and amazing at drawing are also really good WRITERS too LIKE WTF!!)

DOG DINNER by @wompire (super interesting writing style, extremely poetic and striking. hits you right in the gut.)

everything and the kitchen sink by @swifty-fox (YEAH THIS ONE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE TOO. modern au where gale is a professional dom and john is a journalist who hornily consents to both (1) fucking around, and (2) finding out. in top ten fics of the decade in general tbh)

Freed From Desire by @feyd-meowtha (yoooooo such a fun and free and sexy fic!!! such a great writing style and such a cool remix of all the characters we know and love!)

He wears his love around his neck by kasugayamaisforlovers (Gale character study, he tries to run his little gay thoughts away which is always so fun to see)

hold me like a knife by storm_warning (tw: self-harm, this REALLY gets into John's self-destructive stalag spiral and it's super visceral and wet and heart-wrenching and written with such, such care and precision)

Hound Within the Heart by Anonymous (fairy-tale esque, gets super crazy and pushes the limits of reality but in the best ways possible)

I Don't Wanna Be Alone Tonight by @johnslittlespoon (cuddling for warmth <3 and then a little more <3 <3 so sweet and intimate!!)

I Like A Bad Boy by @nicijones (modern college AU and bucky is a fratty fuckboy type & in this fic he DOES punch a guy for Gale and it's all very hot and sweet and a delight to read)

i wish you wouldn't tell me (about your hawaiian party) by @whitetrashjj (when the fuckbuddies thing gets messyyyyyy because gale catches feelingsssssss, so delicious and meaty!!)

if that isn’t love, it’ll have to do by @irregularcollapse (ALWAYS such incredible character reads from this author, never misses. also facefucking. also FACEFUCKING <3)

i'll be seeing you by @puffanities (a quick 1.6k oneshot but still packed with some really great characterization and powerful language!! 'when the numbers of planes don’t match...')

i'll find you before the dust settles by butidontreallycare (a Westworld AU!! super cool)

in our bedroom after the war by @stereobone (one of those fics that's just like. a pillar of the community, y'know? iconic. classic. eternal.)

Into the Unknown by Melanie_Mikaelson (big win for john whump enjoyers. BIG win. like 20+ chapters of winning)

it ain't for meatball by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky. Curt puts the dog collar on Bucky....and it's HOTTTT arf arf i'm barking just like bucky is in this fic...)

It's Not Love, but It's Fun by @sweaterkittensahoy (Curt/Bucky, 500 words so it's short and sweet just like Curt ahahahaha, ANYWAY still such an interesting little read regardless!)

judgment by the hounds by @puffanities (PG, very visceral and tender apology after the stalag fight scene <3)

level-off maneuvers by wormringers (sweet little oneshot of the Bucks in London)

little fix by ForASecondThereWedWon (Algeria <3 <3 you just kNOW those two gay pilots were sniffing and huffing and licking each other's sweat.....this author GETS it)

love means nothing (in tennis) by @irregularcollapse (fics that make you go WEEEEEEEE!!!! every word, every physical action that these characters take is SO precise and well-written. truly like wrapping a soft bathrobe around yourself and also the bathrobe is incredibly sexy and also they're sucking each other off post-game but PRE-shower. also gale's dad!! also margie!! truly such a well crafted AU)

make you feel alive by @sig-nifier (really sweet little oneshot of gale being a little protective of john. and i am ALWAYS a sucker for the 'call off your dog' trope... and it's done perfectly here!)

meet me at the chapel by @swifty-fox (still in-progress and SUCH a creative, inventive universe!! outlaw john you will always be famous to me!!!!)

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder by @swifty-fox (swift can really weave a story like no one else. so many lines that pack a punch. and in the end, they make it <3)

my type by @spaceshipkat (this one is SOOOOO well-written, I always go so crazy for the dialogue!!! such a great push-pull dynamic in this fic)

night terror by @antiquitea (hot! and sweet! and HOT! and angsty!!!!! highlights include: gale gives john a literal countdown deadline to get off)

Obligate Mutualism by bowhuntress (Gale-centric story of trying to get John through the stalag, then returning the England without Bucky, a fic very obviously written with a lot of care and love)

obsessions, and other things by @sig-nifier (the Bucks cope. really great pacing and dialogue, and I always love when fics take the care to delve into john's struggle with alcoholism as well)

of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world (he walks into mine) by @whitetrashjj (really fun parallel universe where Buck owns a bar, just a great read all-around!)

Oh, I do, do I? by @defnotanarc (DIRTY TALK, like the most delicious, incredible dirty talk you can imagine, this fic nails it!!)

One of your Girls by @soliloquy-dawn (9k oneshot and it's great all the way through, Gale is jealousssss of John fucking around, don't worry they resolve it <3, definitely captures that innocence of pre-Bremen MOTA episodes)

peacetime like a liminal space by @spaceshipkat (this one is PHENOMENAL. post-war, John goes to New York City and turns out it doesn't fill the emptiness. luckily Gale shows up. <3)

Putting Words to It by @impalachick (YEAH THIS ONE IS REALLY HOT. John is a snoop and reads Gale's letters to Marge <3)

Reunited by Flowersandthings (PG, cute & funny oneshot of the Bucks being reunited after Gale makes it over from Greenland!)

Reverie by @avonne-writes (REALLY creative, well-crafted story. Gale and John are soulmates and can visit each other's dreams since adolescence. INCREDIBLE journey and arc in this story, the stalag part is just wow. truly such a gift to the fandom!!).

Rugire by Anonymous (umm omegaverse-ish but with deer dynamics. messy. and SO good.)

SHOTGUN. by pornogirl (YEAH this one is awesome, it's not safe it's not sane but oh boy it is consensual)

Song of Songs by @swifty-fox (sweaty sex sweaty sex sweaty sex)

Spin, Sit, Roll-Over by @glumbabie (Gale is a little mean to John and it's VERY sexy of him tbh. 'DOGS DON'T TALK'???? 'YOU CAN EAT'???????? yeah. read this.)

the chimneys hardly ever fall down by @redbelles (another Gale/Marge + John, and it's HOT. it's SEXY it's awesome!!)

the hand of a good man by @stereobone (John rewrites Gale's daddy history <3)

the jacket by @dogmetaphors (REALLY great sense of dialogue and characterization even in 1.6k words, also shamelessly horny and SO yummy)

The Major’s Wife by tryingmyhandatwriting (John/Original Female Character but like. give this one a chance, I'm telling you!! I'm always soooo compelled by sex scenes that like. are actually a little bit unhappy. and this one SERVESSSSS.)

this must be the place by @blixabargelds (BIG win for Gale whumpers. broken bone and LOTS of blood and super well-written)

To be alone with you by Damn_Illusive (THIS ONE IS SO, SO SPECIAL AND CREATIVE!! freaky army experimentation gives gale and john telepathic communication. incredible separation arc while gale is in the stalag. really, really unique story that is such a staple in my mind as one of the the most incredible clegan stories ever. I think about this one A LOT!!!)

To the Moon and Back by @rambleonwaywardson (iconic astronaut AU, written with SUCH care and love, it's so obvious!! and BIG win for john whumpers. who said that -)

Tough And Sweet (Like You And Me) by @johnslittlespoon (sooo fun and creative and inventive, Bikeriders-esque!Gale and a sweeter, more innocent John. really well crafted)

trading paper dolls by ForASecondThereWedWon (Alex draws Gale pinup girl style in the stalag.....John swipes it.... super great fic!)

two slow dancers by everywordnotsaid (unrequited love, John for Gale, through their journey. I genuinely, actually sobbed for a long time at the conclusion of this fic. I am always thinking about this fic. I think it really captures something about the experience of watching the show and realizing in that hopeless, lovesick kind of way that there's no way to go back in time and save all of them. I still get teary whenever I think about this story or hear the song. It's one of those fics that's not just good, not just great, but somehow also really fucking IMPORTANT. this story MATTERS. you should absolutely read it and save it and imprint it onto your heart. I know it's imprinted onto mine.)

Un Chant d’Amour by @counting0nit (really intriguing take on the interrogation center time frame!)

unicorns, and other extinct animals by @spaceshipkat (really, really incredible reading experience. something that actually touches other aspects of my life, even now. I see planes overhead and I think about this fic. I see letters on a table and I think about this fic. just. this author GETS IT, you know? just absolutely nails every aspect of this kind of fic: post-war adjustment, the pain, the LOVE. this fic will make you FEEL it. let it happen.)

Up In Our Bedroom by @steeseman (ICONIC. really one of those pillars of the community type fics, y'know? it's funny and it's sweet and it's painful and the hot parts are HOT. clearly written with SO much care, and SO much love, and SO much precision. every single word packs a punch. absolutely one of my top reads of all time, across time, across fandoms)

When the bones are good by @aramblingjay (a really incredible post-war fic, such a beautiful, rich writing style!! isn't afraid to dig at the hard parts - john's relationship with alcohol, their nightmares from the war. stunning visuals -- the author uses setting and place and motion in such a tangible, real way. I can still see the little hideout spot in my mind's eye, even now. one of those fics that's just. such a treasure to the fandom.)

your dreams, whatever they be by @drylite (this one is super new, and it's just SUCH solid writing!)

You're A Dog (I'm Your Man) by @johnslittlespoon (one of those fics that's a pillar of the fandom for SURE!!! definitely a classic)

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale’s Top Ten: Most Slay Akuma 2023

Rules:

1. The Akuma will not be rated on effectiveness. They are being rated solely on their aesthetic.

2. The more relevant their Akuma form is to their power, the more points

3. The way the akuma Carry themselves Matters

4. The more the Akuma reflects the users personality adds points.

5. Motive doesn’t matter, but if it can be added to the asthetic, points will be given

6 Akuma only, not sentimonsters, or miraculous forms (akumatized miraculous are different)

7. Show forms only. No comics or video games (but If we did include games, Clonika makes the list)

This is my list of answer for @anna-scribbles and @sha-nwa on what akuma’s slay.

My campaign for them I say

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10. Party Crasher

While the pink Afro and blue skin may seem a bit ridiculous. The Discoball asthetic goes hard. Plus the link to his abilities and his fresh dance moves makes him slay

9. Truth

While I wish the color was more vibrant, the fit reminds me of a determined Symbiote Spider-Man. Boy was on a mission and what slays more than the truth? (8 other things)

8. Chat Blanc

An akumatized cat that slays (Litterally). Also the recolor works cause it goes all out with it. The blue eyes especially. It works and people just want to be contrarian.

7. Desperada

The musician kills it with the aesthetic. The fit is clean and if I had to fight her, I wouldn’t mind doing so 25,317 times. Plus the Dia de los muertos vibe is epic and makes me want to watch Coco

5&6th tie

Wishmaker and Reverser

I can’t pick between these two, so they jointly occupy 5th and 6th. Wishmaker’s Glitter and slick mask make him kill in the moment. While reverser’s white and black symmetry is perfection. They both kill with the black and white color scheme and it makes it impossible to choose.

4. Penalteam

This is Chloé’s best akuma design.

I don’t care about miracle queen or Queen banana and while I don’t care for this episode… this design is impeccable. The soccer asthetic, her signature Yellow and gold. It’s such a perfect fit for the sporty akuma.

3. YanLuoShi

While the Shanghai special had some ups and downs, you can’t deny the utter Badassery of this akuma. The glowing eyes and armor. The Kaiju size, the menacing stare. The power this form exudes is incredible and I think it’s one of the most slept on akuma forms.

2. Darker Owl

Imagine taking a creative akuma form and making it more streamline and adding a glorious mustache to it. Darker owl is Darkowl perfected. He is one of the few akuma form upgrades and it works flawlessly. Darker owl taking I inspiration from Batman beyond and also just look at that BEEF! This is the asthetic of badassery

1. Safari

Lara craft appeared in Miraculous ladybug and I FUCKING LOVE IT. Nathalie’s fit is perfect. This is the best form she’s had. Giving her cool weapons, the dark scalera. The outfit is both simple yet says everything. Girl is hunting miraculous and she gonna get it

[avonne-writes]

“how embarrassing would it be if i told you i’d dreamt of this since i first met you?” is so clegan <3

Thank you 🥰 The drabble is set in my a/b/o au where Gale is an omega who doesn’t have normal heats due to childhood trauma.

Edit: you can consider this set in the same universe as @anachilles's lovely smutty one-shot ❤️‍🔥

If there's one thing that Bucky learned in the ten years since his first time in bed with an omega, it’s that you'd better talk about what you want before you pop your knot rather than regret the whole fucking thing when you wake up alone again. His previous partners never seemed to care to linger once he had given them that satisfaction. Not that he blames or resents them for it - it’s his own damn fault that he came across as an omega-chaser, just a fun partner for the night, instead of an alpha longing for a mate.

Don’t make this out to be more than what it is, they said if he caught them before they slipped away. You're a sweet man, but I can’t stay. Countless versions of the same story, leaving Bucky sitting alone with his head in his hands and his heart hollow again.

But not this time. No, with Gale, he’s determined to do it right. He courted him the way he deserved, with all the gifts and love and care Bucky could heap on him without drawing the kind of attention Gale didn’t want. No throwing himself at Gale’s feet in the barracks, no sweet talking in public, no jealous outbursts even if it killed him. It was all in the small details with Gale, and in the unwavering devotion he craved. Grand gestures didn’t appeal to him, no matter how Bucky's instincts urged him to belt it out for all the world to know that he’d do anything for his Buck. His best friend, his beautiful mate.

Well, all right, they’re not mated yet. But they’re going to be. Bucky can feel the warm certainty of it deep in his chest, spreading through his veins with every swipe of Gale's thumb over the juncture of his neck as they kiss lying on top of each other in the hotel bed they rented for the night. Would Gale touch him like this if he didn’t want it too? No, Bucky doesn’t think so.

He draws back just far enough to look into Gale's eyes and comb through his short blond hair. When he shifts his hips to the side, Gale’s slim thighs part to let him sink between them, a perfect fit. "Are you comfortable?”

Gale nods, watching Bucky's face with lazy affection. He slides both of his hands down Bucky’s back and untucks Bucky's shirt to get to the bare skin of his lower back.

"Tell me if I'm too heavy.”

"Don’t start on this now." Gale drawls, the contentment in his tone at odds with his words. He pushes his hands between their stomachs to undo their belts. He smells happy, his scent heady like the warmth of the sun on a humid summer afternoon.

They kiss again, grinding together slowly. John wonders if Gale's all wet for him already or if he needs some help - he’d gladly put his mouth to use. But first, they need to talk.

"Can I ask you something?" He starts. They're so close that he sees the flash of concern in Gale's eyes and feels the minute tightening of the cradle of his thighs.

"You’re a good alpha, John." Gale says quietly, stroking John's face with his right hand. "I'll let you knot me tonight if you want.”

John can’t help the way his lips purse at the answer given before he could even ask anything. He doesn’t know why Gale assumes that's all he’s after, when he has done everything he could to show that he isn’t.

"It’s not what I want." He says, a touch too firmly, if Gale's startled blink is anything to go by. "I want to mate you." He clears his throat, reining the emotion in his voice back. "That’s what I wanted to ask. I want to be your mate.”

Out of all the ways this played out in his head, Gale pulling away from him was one of the worst. Cracks cut sharply into his heart as Gale pushes at his shoulders, then sits back against the headboard. Bucky ends up kneeling beside him on the mattress, a pleading look in his eyes. The change in Gale's scent feels sharp in his nose, but it's not acrid like disgust or fear. It’s sour distress, deeply pained. The way Gale pulls his knees up to rest his arms on them makes him look achingly young.

“Why?” He asks. The disbelief in his eyes hurts.

“Because I love you.” When Gale closes his eyes, Bucky presses on. “I love you. I want to be yours. To take care of you, protect you… I want to be your mate. And I want to do it before we ship out.”

Gale worries at his lip, then gives Bucky a look full of tumultuous emotions.

"That’s not something you should do on a whim." He tells Bucky. His voice is calm, but he’s digging his own nails into his arm. "Think it through carefully. You know I don't have normal heats. I don't think I can get pregnant, John. It’s the way it's always been. Ain't ever gonna change. I'm not the kind of omega you deserve. I don't mind if we -"

He cuts himself off. A soft "damn it" gets caught in his suddenly tight throat. He rubs the bridge of his nose as if to keep his tears in, then shoots Bucky a wry smile. "I don't mind if it’s just sex and nothing more.”

The noise that escapes Bucky's throat is filled with helpless frustration. He scoots closer and cups Gale’s cheek with his right hand. "To hell with sex, Buck! It’s not what I want. I would rather not knot anyone ever again if that's the only way I can be your mate.”

For a moment, Gale doesn’t say anything, just searches Bucky's eyes, then his scent starts changing again, becoming gradually sweeter with hope. Something eases in Bucky too in response, and he lets his body lean forward until his forehead is pressed to Gale's. When he gives Gale a soft kiss on the lips, Gale slides his arms off his knees to wrap them around Bucky’s neck.

“You actually mean it.” Gale says quietly. There’s still some uncertainty in his voice, but there’s growing hope too.

“I do.” Bucky replies. Then, because he can’t keep holding it all bottled up anymore, “Please be my mate, doll. I'll be so good for you, the best alpha you can ask for, I’ll take care of you -”

“Shh.” Gale shushes him with a small chuckle, pulling Bucky’s head to his neck to let him scent Gale there and lick at the spot he’s going to bite if Gale says yes. Soothing fingers comb through his hair, and Gale’s thumb presses to the base of his neck again. It’s so calming that Bucky could fall asleep just like this in Gale's arms.

“How about -” Gale starts, stroking Bucky’s back now. “- we wait until the morning. If you still want it when we wake up, then… we can do it.”

Bucky lifts his head to look at Gale with wide eyes and the wobbling beginning of a grin. “Is that a yes?”

The curve of Gale's cheeks turns rounder as he smiles. “It is.”

Bucky crows in joy and tackles Gale sideways on the mattress, trying to kiss him through a happy laugh and babbling the first thing that comes to Bucky's mind. “How embarrassing would it be if I told you I'd dreamt of this since I first met you?”

Gale hugs him tight and nips his neck. “Is that why you gave me your own goddamn name?”

Feverish with happiness, Bucky nips Gale back, shuddering at the thought that tomorrow, he'll get to bite him for real. “Had to claim you.”

“Possessive.” Gale hums, his linden blossom scent intoxicating to Bucky's nose.

Bucky’s love thrums in his chest like a song. “You love it, Buck.”

Gale laughs. He doesn’t deny it.

[galeorderbride]

Intimacy Prompt: #47 for Gale please!

Prompt #47: cuddling under blankets

Ooo thanks for the request, anon, this is gonna be a cute one!! 😊

Coupling: Gale x f!tav 

Rating: M (No sexual content, but allusions to doing it the night before and some suggestive flirting. Gale and tav are unclothed in bed) 

Words: 783

Imagine how sweet the first morning Gale and Tav have in Waterdeep. All the fighting and recovery from the game events is complete, and they can finally, unconditionally enjoy resting together.  

...

First Morning:

A Waterdeep morning was like no other. Tidal breezes whistling through the open window, the beam of the rising sun reaching the foot of the bed, clean and warm like fresh laundry. Breathing had never been easier, as Gale felt his body awaken in his tower for the first time in what felt like a century. Fresh sheets were like silk against his skin, bare and fully clean. He felt renewed, drunk on bliss, happy. 

Happier than he’d ever been, even before the nautiloid. The source of that happiness in the form of a beautiful body beside him, shifting around under the blankets. Tav was turned away, the curve of her hips in statuesque perfection under the ivory fabric. Her back was exposed, little marks lined across from a comfortable, sprawling slumber. Hair unkempt and a tangled mess around her neck. Tiny whimpers of awakening like an angel’s song. Not even the gods could create such beauty. 

They arrived in Waterdeep yesterday, after countless delays and uncertainties, crawling into Gale’s towers just as the clock struck ten pm. Just enough time to have a little something to eat, bathe, and go right to sleep. Except they didn’t, not right away. Suffering tiredness as he couldn’t help but share the bath with her, a choice that kept them awake for some time as they made tender love under the moonlight. Even during stressful travel, filled with exhaustion and unanswerable questions, they knew they could find each other in the dark. As they did from the moment their romance began. 

Now, they basked in the glorious morning, untethered from the trials of the tendays before. Gale could see she was beginning to stir awake, but still clinging to the comfort of sleep. He craved nothing else than to be close to her, an insatiable ache that left him with nothing but a wish that he could fuse his soul to hers. To have nothing else in the world exist other than the two of them. 

Gale drew closer, pressing light kisses on Tav’s back as he pulled the sheet over them, covering their heads. The tickle of his beard against her skin sent her eyes fluttering open, overtaken by the warmth of his body heat collecting under the blanket. Tav stretched her arms above her head, Gale taking the opportunity to kiss across her ribcage. His hand ran down her stomach and hips, exhaling deeply as he pulled Tav toward him, squeezing her into a loving spoon. Their legs intertwined together, grazing against the soft sheets as if they’d never feel this comfortable again. Tav couldn’t contain the grin on her face, locking her fingers in with his as they rested on top of her thigh. 

“Good morning, my sweet,” he whispered in her ear, “The first of a thousand. And then a thousand more after that.” 

“Mmm, good morning to you, my lovely wizard,” Tav said, voice husky from sleep, “Is there breakfast involved in those thousands of days?” 

“Your wish is my command—in just a moment. Let’s lay here a while, if you’ll indulge me,” he said. 

“My time is yours,” she said, harkening back to the words he’d say to her on their adventure. When the stirrings of their passionate romance had just begun its resilient song. Every time she’d go to him for something, he’d speak that magic phrase, enchanting enough to have her melting no matter how many times she heard it. 

“Good, come here,” he said, letting out that sleepy growl she couldn’t get enough of. Somehow, he managed to pull her even closer, tightening his hold of their bodies together. 

The heat under the blankets slowly became unbearable, but neither of them cared, indulging in the sensation of skin-on-skin. Tav wished night would return now, just for the chance to wake up beside him again. This had to be the afterlife, the finest version mortals could access. And yet, both of them knew this was something only beating hearts could conjure. 

Gale hooked his leg over hers, bigger and heavier, sluggishly weighing over her body. Tav giggled, allowing him to fully envelope her in his embrace. Her back pressed against his chest, gooseflesh stimulated from the brush of his body hair, and the desirous leisure of being wrapped up in him. Gods, the kisses, touching every part of her he could reach, from the nape of her neck to the apex of her shoulder, joined by the tickle of his fingers caressing her hip. 

“Who needs breakfast,” Tav said, “Nothing compares to this.” 

Gale chuckled, “I have breakfast right in front of me. I hope you’re comfortable my love, I’m going to savour this morning like no other.” 

[caustinen]

little drabble for this au — red carpet event and gale is wearing this:

Bucky is so busy looking at his phone that he only seems to realize Gale has finally rejoined him in their hotel suite living room when he walks up to the full body mirror John’s team has propped there to help with preparations. The moment he tears his eyes from the screen is marked with a loud gasp that Gale pointedly ignores in the interest of checking everything is in place.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my GO-” Gale throws a quick glance his way. “Would you calm down?” John throws his hand dramatically over his eyes and gasps again. “I can’t. I can’t. My brain has malfunctioned.” Gale rolls his eyes. “If you’d prefer for me to stay home-” “NO! The world needs to see this, I’m just. Oh. Oh, doll.”

Gale sighs dramatically and mutters under his breath as he turns to Bucky and starts fixing his tie. With how generally uncaring Bucky is for details like this it took him surprisingly long to realize he keeps doing it wrong on purpose to get Buck to do it for him. He can feel John’s intense gaze on himself but he refuses to blush after doing this dance hundreds of times as he works quick delicate fingers over the knot.

When he’s done and about to pull away Bucky takes his hands into his and presses them to his chest. Buck finally looks up to him and finds his eyes not only fond but heated. “You look really good, Buck,” he says with that low voice of his, and this time he can’t stop the blush from coloring his cheeks. “Thank you,” he responds quietly, as evenly as he can, after all these years finding himself a bit breathless when all that attention from John is on him.

Bucky licks his lips, and Gale shakes his head. “We need to go in like, ten minutes.” “I know, I know,” Bucky says innocently, lifting their joined hands a bit and guiding Gale to turn around, wrapping his arms around his waist lazily and placing his chin on Gale’s shoulder, “I’m not starting anything. I’m just admiring.” Gale makes an unimpressed sound but he softens as he takes in the sight of them in the mirror. The black they are both wearing makes them look like modern royalty, the simple but elegant suit John’s wearing really bringing out his hard lines and physical broadness. Gale has always been proud of his own strength and independence, but one of the things he never expected to love so much is feeling small and secure for small moments when he can be pressed against John like this.

He sighs and leans back further into the embrace, the hands around his waist tightening their hold as he lifts one of his own hands to caress over John’s big hand, absentmindedly playing with the new engagement ring propped there that matches the one in his own finger. He’ll probably never not be nervous before these things – granted, it’s only been two months out in the open and a couple of public events, but despite having seen thousands of those in the background by now he never expected how nerve-wracking and overwhelming it was to be the subject of the hundreds of cameras. He lets himself enjoy this final moment of calmness, feeling Bucky’s steady breath against his back as he leans his forehead to rest against John’s mop of hair. He smiles as John instantly turns to nuzzle his cheek with his nose. Unfortunately for Bucky though, he knows his man too well by now, and catches his wrist before a runaway hand can get the chance to venture deeper into his crop topped jacket.

“Nice try. You can’t distract me.” John humms as an answer, smiling against his cheek as the hand still draped around his waist lazily slides down to cup his thigh and squeezing lightly as he opens the palm of the other hand to trace his fingertips longingly on the skin over his ribs, underneath the jacket, leaving sparks at their wake. “Wanna bet?” he breathes against his ear lowly, and Gale groans, annoyed, when he presses him away by his face, Bucky laughing and then attempting to bite his palm before Gale can yank it away and then immediately running away from the swatting hand that tries to get revenge.

Gale shakes his head, trying to fight an endeared smile despite himself as he checks to see he’s not too dishevelled from the mirror. “You’re impossible.” John stretches his arms lazily by the door, checking the time and opening the door for Gale as he walks to him. “Nah, just crazy about you,” he says with a syrupy tone, getting another eyeroll for his troubles.

“You really do look so good,” he says with a final pat on Gale’s ass as he walks by to get out of the door to the car, and the blond reaches behind himself to take his hands to his before he manages another smack. “Later,” he promises, pulling his arms around his own shoulders that time, and Bucky follows after him with a million-dollar-grin plastered on his face for the rest of the night.

[gnomishcunning]

bg3 companion camp habits

ft. astarion, karlach, wyll, shadowheart, lae'zel, gale & halsin

Astarion

earliest to bed, earliest to rise. it leaves more time to sneak around at night. unfortunately for him that means lae'zel has him on hunting duty, in order to find something substantial for dinner the next day.

insures team tadpole camps within walking distance of some source of running water. if not running water, a lake; if not a lake, a pond. after tagging around with tav all day and coming home covered in blood, his daily soaks are sacred

despite actually not needing to sleep, his tent is the cushiest in camp: his bedroll is piled high with luxurious furs and silken pillows

trances with curlers in his hair. that coif doesn't maintain itself y'know, as much as astarion would like you to think it does

Karlach

her tent is open-air in order to reduce the likelihood she catches it on fire overnight

simultaneously a super-light sleeper while retaining the the ability to fall asleep within five minutes in any given environment, on any given surface. ten years in avernus have honed those survival instincts into a sharp edge, and she can be up and ready to brawl in an instant

banned from contributing to dinner on account of infernal taste buds: the amount of chili powder she'd added to the group soup that one time almost killed shadowheart and made astarion get the night sweats for the first time in 200 years

her contributions to camp including anything involving copious amounts of hot water. unfortunately, this usually has her stuck on laundry duty with halsin

Wyll

next to halsin and karlach, wyll's the most comfortable camping in the wilderness on a day-to-day basis. seven years as the blade of the frontiers meant wandering the sword coast looking for monsters, and not all of that was near civilization

crippling addiction to tea. picks up local varieties at every settlement the party passes through; it's what you see him swirling in that silver cup of his night to night.

while gale's in charge of dinner, wyll's in charge of breakfast. he's got a carafe of coffee on the fire when people start to rise, and there's always a pan of something delicious-smelling and ready to dish out by the time someone manages to wake up halsin.

he's had that ripped-up crop top he sleeps in since his teens, and it's been worth to that point of sweet age-soft. he has trouble sleeping in anything else at this point

Shadowheart

doesn't need as much sleep to function at full capacity the next day: she's perfectly fine on five or six hours. whether that's a lucky genetic twist of shadowheart's genetic heritage or a blessing of shar is anyone's guess - this usually has her as the second one awake

tends to volunteer for first watch and uses that time to pray

has a bit of a second sense for finding good campsites: places with highly defensible positions, a fresh water source, carefully tucked into the shadows of natural glades or high rocks

has one of the more elaborate hair routines in the group, second only to astarion's curl-care. she and the vampire spawn have a silent agreement to assist with setup and share haircare products when necessary.

Lae'zel

self-assigned camp commander (not camp mom - astarion tried to make a snide comment once and was glared down). her militaristic upbringing has left her the only one with enough organizational skills to insure the motley crew of team tadpole don't accidentally starve themselves to death in the wilderness

keeps an exacting inventory of what they have on hand, from food to spell-scrolls and spare socks and tadpoles in brain-jars, must to her chagrin. anything taken from the traveler's chest must be noted so she can keep track of what the team needs

created a chore chart. the chore chart is holy. it plays to everyone's strengths and evenly distributes labor. astarion once tried to fuck with it: he was left doing his own laundry for a week, much to his chagrin

as much as she'd like to brag about githyanki endurance, she requires an exacting eight hours of sleep to function. the rest of team tadpole insures she gets it, since nobody likes a grumpy githyanki

Gale

self-assigned camp cook within days of joining team tadpole. to his surprise, lae'zel completely agreed

has a few cookbooks stacked among the piles of literature around his tent, including a dog-eared recipe book from mama dekarios. his travel spice-rack was an additional gift from her as well, one he covets with all his heart.

could care less about his lion's mane and mostly resolves to slicking it back with whatever oil or grease they have on-hand first thing in the morning, but takes exacting care of his beard

has a bad tendency to stay up too late sleeping, and is subsequently the last one to rise first thing in the morning\

Halsin

doesn't even bother to set up his tent half the time, perfectly willing to spend the night in bear form. this has caused some confusion first thing in the morning when an actual bear wandered into camp one morning and wyll greeted it warmly, much to halsin's amusement

will grow goodberries to add to the morning's oatmeal or pancakes; secret weakness for coffee

tends to tackle laundry duty with karlach, mostly since the giant mountain of a druid is the best at actually toting mountains of blood-spoiled linens across camp.

assists with hunting duties, even if the meat he tends to bring backs is a little more roughed up compared to astarion's exsanguinated prey

bonus:

Tav

group oddball, usually ends up doing whatever odd chore lae'zel assigns them

unofficially in-charge of campfire entertainment, including breaking up fights between lae'zel and shadowheart over go-fish, or insuring astarion doesn't cheat during poker

the camp keeps meaning to buy them a tent. they never do. tav's been crashing around the campfire since the beginning, and they only actually get a tent once they have a significant other

not allowed to assist with dinner since the Noodle IncidentTM

[middlingmay]

May I request HUG from the tackle prompts, for Clegan? 🥰

[ HUG ]: sender tackles the receiver to the ground in their enthusiasm to give them a hug.

Hello! Took me a wee while to get to this one, sorry, but it was a great chance to dive back into my Footballer!John AU.

Taken from this prompt list.

Hope you like it!

EGAN TACKLES LATEST CHALLENGE

Newly-minted Arsenal midfielder John “Bucky” Egan showed off his tackling skills at Heathrow Airport yesterday. His promotion to the Champions League came with high emotions as he was reunited with his reporter boyfriend Gale Cleven, who covered Spain’s recent win in the Women’s World Cup. The couple were seen canoodling outside a trendy bar in Sydney in the early weeks of the tournament, before Egan returned the UK to embark on his new training regime. A tried and tested asset in the defensive midfield, Arsenal manger Mikel Arteta is rumoured to consider a move to a forward position…

John chuckles as he folds the paper and tosses it beside him on the couch. He knew they’d cause a stir with his display yesterday, but he hadn't cared then and he doesn't care now.

Over a month without Gale had been awful.

The nature of both their jobs demand time apart, a few days here, a week there. No biggie. And when Gale had told him his news outlet wanted him to cover the Women’s World Cup in Australia and New Zealand, John had foolishly thought this would be no different.

He’d been thrilled for Gale. John knew he wanted out of sports journalism, and was starting to dip his toe into STEM reportage and was impressing all the right people, but the World Cup was a huge privilege, a huge responsibility, a huge pay cheque, and a great opportunity to travel somewhere Gale might not have went otherwise.

Or John.

Timing’s wise, it wasn’t great. Summer fixtures were in full swing, but he’d managed to bag two full days in Sydney with Gale. They’d been a glorious sun-bleached daydream of exploring the city, enjoying some good football, and taking advantage of every opportunity he had to put hands all over his boyfriend.

Gale hadn't been able to see him to the airport because he had to be at the Allianz Stadium early. But when he saw him off at the door of his hotel, his eyes had gone uncharacteristically bright and John’s heart broke a little to realise that Gale was trying not to cry.

“Hey,” John dropped his duffle bag and swept Gale into his arms; their fifth hug in the last ten minutes. “What’s all that for?”

Gale had burrowed his head into the curve between John’s neck and his shoulders. Those long, strong fingers of his grasped at his shoulder blades tight and bunched up John’s jacket.

“M’sorry,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “Stupid.”

John had pushed him back, cupped Gale’s face under his jaw and made him look at him. “Nothing about you is stupid. I’m gonna miss you, too.”

John had kissed him then, and didn’t stop until his phone buzzed angrily, his ride to the airport beckoning.

Gale had laughed at himself and gently pushed John away. “Go on, get. Some of us have actual work to do.”

John hadn’t got why Gale had been so upset then, but he does now. Waiting a whole month to see Gale, touch Gale, smell Gale was torture. The only thing that had gotten him through it, asides from their texting and phone calls and video calls, was throwing himself head first into practice. He was the first in and last out, every day. He worked his body so hard, he just had enough energy to eat and talk to Gale before he fell into bed to rinse and repeat.

So, when the World Cup was over and Gale was coming home, John had insisted on picking him up at the airport.

*

John can see over the top of everyone perfectly fine, thanks to the long legs and tall frame he inherited from his dad. But that doesn’t stop him from straining to stand on the tip top of his toes every few seconds.

He looks every which way at the gate, tries to see through the stupid narrow windows on the doors to get his first glimpse of Gale in the flesh. But he stays stubbornly absent.

John’s dimly aware of the looks and murmuring around him. But every time he starts to tun in a pay some attention, he thinks he sees something move where Gale’s plan is due to disembark and he’s back on his toes, craning his neck. He’s one single minute away from jumping in the air like a five-year-old to try and see even further, he swears to God.

Then, finally, the doors swing open and a flood of people swarm through. There are families lugging tired kids; there are sunburnt, hungover teenagers and twenty-something-year-olds; there are leather-skinned retirees, crisply-outfitted business folks. And then, finally through the throng, John spots him.

He’s always thought Gale was the most beautiful person on the plant. He thinks he’s beautiful in his suits he wears for work. He thinks he’s beautiful in the sweats and t-shirts he wears at home. He thinks he’s beautiful in those stupid slipper socks he wears because his feet get cold at night.

But right now, he’s never looked better. He’s exhausted, John can tell; he hasn’t slept on the plane. The shadows under his eyes are purplish. His skin is pale, his hair is unbrushed. His clothes are wrinkled. But he walks tall, looking over the crowd and scanning, scanning, until—

His whole face, whole body, slumps with relief when he spots John.

And that’s just too much for John to take.

Legs strong and conditioned for exactly this task, John pelts forward, weaving through holiday-makers, dodging wheely-cases, not breaking stride for a second. They all pass him by in a multicolour blur as he runs for Gale. Gale only has time to drop his bag before John lands. Between his momentum and Gale's tiredness, they’re careening down to the floor, John’s hand protecting Gale’s head as the rest of him lays sprawled over his boyfriend.

They hear tittering and clicking but John cannot care less. He beams at Gale, thrilled just to drink in the sight of him, and he gets his favourite Gale smile: eyes looking up through his lashes, cheeks high, like he’s trying not to smile but just can’t help himself around John.

John rubs their noses together. “Hi.”

And to John’s surprise, Gale kisses him; a brush of his lips that John follows and presses into, just enough to feel the fullness of those lips he’d dreamt about, before letting Gale retreat.

“Hi. Now let me up.”

John bounds up, and plucks Gale up off the floor easy with two hands. He takes his bag too and all but drags him out of the airport to the car waiting outside. They have to get home. Like, yesterday.

*

A cup of coffee appears over John’s shoulder.

“You’re up.” He takes the cup from Gale with a kiss to his jaw.

“Mm. Didn’t have anyone to stay in bed for.” Gale joins John on the sofa, his back against the arm and his legs thrown over John’s. “Saw something interesting on my phone though.”

He fishes his barely-used personal phone from his pocket (John’s surprised he actually knows where it is, today. He doesn’t normally), presses a few buttons and passes it to John.

On the small rectangular screen is the site for a gossip rag. On it’s sports section, it leads with the headline: See what Bucky did to his boyfriend in PUBLIC!

“Oh, come on,” John scoffs, nearly sloshing coffee over the lip and onto the sofa. “That makes it sounds like I was…pushing you around or something.”

“You literally pushed me over.” John poked him. “There’s more. The Daily Mail, always a classic.”

‘Tackled’ Pink: Egan humiliates boy toy.

John groans in second-hand embarrassment. “Their puns are getting worse. That barely makes sense. And I’m sorry—boy toy?”

“Excuse you: humiliated boy toy, I think you’ll find.”

John makes to hand the phone back but Gale just nods at it. “Look who wrote it.”

A quick scan of the article reveals the name. “Ulrich Haussmann?! That prick who got drunk at your last mixer and asked to be our third?”

Gale snickers into his own cup of coffee and cocks his head, his blue eyes alight with mirth as he gazes at John. “He only asked that because I was there. He was lookin’ at you all night. Swear his eyes never went north of the equator.”

John gags at Gale’s teasing. “Rather grate off my own dick, no thank you.”

Gale puts down his coffee. “Now why did you have to say a thing like that?” He slips from the sofa to kneel on the floor between John’s legs. Drawing his nose up the inseam of John’s thighs (he's borderline obsessed with them and John can't get enough of it), Gale places a clothed kiss over the crotch of John’s pyjama shorts and gives him a brief nuzzle. “Don’t worry baby,” he says to John’s groin. “I won’t let him hurt you.”

It is so utterly ridiculous, the goofy, silly side of Gale he doesn't let anyone else see but John, that John has them toppling over again, landing on the cushioned rug of their living room instead of the hard screed of the airport.

Nose to nose, John grins and says, “You happier to see me or him, here?”

Gale shimmies his shoulders and screws up his face that way that wrinkles his nose. “Fifty-fifty.”

“I’ll take it.”

[rawrsatthetree]

I think the best way to tackle a Modern AU for BG3 isn’t to make it a slice of life but to some how combine the elements of a collage drama, organized crime, a dooms day cult, and an alien invasion all into one coherent plot.

I do not know how to do this but I do have some ideas. All the characters have no reason to associate with each other until they’re all abducted by aliens, wormed, and released back into the wild like a bird that just got tagged. Everyone kind of writes it off as either a bad trip or a dream until the cross paths and the worm does the connection thing. Eventually bringing them all together with a few people investigating the invasion to get to the bottom of what’s happening.

Wyll is a pre law student mostly against his will to appease his dad. He wants to help people but doesn’t necessarily want to be a cop like his father the chief of police. He half asses his classes because he doesn’t have much passion for them, blowing them off to volunteer in clubs and community outreach programs. I think Mizora should be either a professor, Dean of students, or academic advisor. In exchange for favors she alters his grades pushes him through the system. Little does he know she’s also idk involved with a crime organization and her favors go from small and perverted to slowly becoming more dangerous and criminal. He’s young and she has a lot of power over his future and could even expose him as a fraud and an accomplice to his father so he feel helpless to defy her.

Astarion is a law school drop out but that’s old news. You’ll find him prowling the local bar and club scene looking for potential clients. After a string of bad luck and poor life choices he’s a prostitute and drug dealer for a local gangster in the Black Hand gang only known as The Vampire (I know I’m so creative). Cazador’s deal is still the pretty much the same local rich public figure is secretly a very cruel and evil man who uses fear and addiction to control his underlings.

Karlach worked as muscle for the leader of the Black Hand gang before she was forcibly sold and enlisted as a mercenary over seas. After a ten years fighting in foreign years she’s back and ready to get her revenge on the whole Black Hand cult unfortunately she has to do it quickly because (ok idk I tried doing some research and couldn’t find any condition caused by an injury that can suddenly become fatal idk maybe cancer from a bullet or shrapnel)

Gale isn’t a professor but like a doctorate student on a tenure track, but bordering on the mad science kind of research. He’s in an abusive relationship with his over seeing faculty Mystra. Ultimately a lab accident during his research leads to the orb.

I think Lae’zel should still be an alien. She was abducted on another planet and escaped while the earthlings were being tadpoled. Now she’s stranded and tadpoled on a strange planet.

Halsin is a university professor and a local environmental activist. He’s been investigating strange occurrences and is onto the alien invasion thing.

I’m honestly not sure about Shadowheart. She should definitely be college age. But I’m not sure how to approach the shar thing.

Not sure about Minthara either except maybe military turned death cult member.

Jaheira and Minsc are cops investigating the alien invasion I’m so sorry not like real world cops but like fun fictional cops that only exist in movies. Boo is their police dog. OMG wait no they’re Park Rangers!!

Other stuff

The dead three chosen are instead three gang leaders. Except Bhaal cult also doubles as a murder cult still on top of being a criminal organization.

The alien invasion is still the mind flayer grand design.

I don’t think the dead three are controlling the mind flayers this time. Instead they’re using the strange alien invasion occurrences as grounds to start a dooms day cult or maybe they are idk