#gahhhhh /neg

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

GUYS. Everything is going wrong.

[pansyboybloom]

istg, a lot of the trans men on this site genuinely concern me. like idk what it is, but the trans men i meet irl never seem to be as unbelievably bold and confident about their distaste for women. like yall realize the patriarchy targets women the most, right? they are the explicit target. regardless of if we are negatively affected, that's not an entire power structure being created specifically to oppress you. and also: we can help fix that power structure. we are men, we help uphold it to varying degrees and hanging your head and wringing your hands abt how men are hurt under the patriarchy without doing anything to change it is such a slap in the face to the women actively being murdered by it, especially women with intersecting levels of oppression, who risk their day to day safety to call out the system!

[apollos-boyfriend]

like. not to compare games (again) but this is like if end roll turned to the camera and went "SEE? yumi is here because russel feels GUILTY! do you get it? he feels GUILTY. do you know he feels GUILTY?" we don't fucking need all this hand-feeding of morals and themes and emotions THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO GET THIS ACROSS

i’ll be genuinely enjoying my omori playthrough….. then boom…… the rules of show not tell are completely tossed aside as any inference is steamrolled by unnecessary narration…..

[genderstealer2000]

How do you start gender hoarding? I know that it might sound like a stupid question, but you see, I live in a place where trans people and nbs are looked down upon but lesbians and gays are ok. (rural Australia)

I felt weird coming out to my bf as a demigirl( I am AFAB) and he knows I’m a furry, but doesn’t know about my alter humanity (questioning therian)

So my view of gender is very “traditional” and where I live there’s only really female, male, trans and (very rare) nonbinary. I also have highly suspected autism/ self diagnosed yet I don’t see gender in a way I hear people with autism do, probably due to my upbringing

I want to know from a person like you who knows the “newer” ways of gender how I should gender hoard and not stick myself to just the traditional genders

its not a stupid question at all!! ill do my best to answer! so i identify as agender transmasc. agender goes under the trans umbrella and nonbinary, but i dont see myself as gender neutral i just have no gender. now going more into the transmasc, just means i feel more masculine. doesnt really effect the way i present my gender any differently, hmm i guess i dont really know how to explain it. i dont understand the concept of gender, i dont understand a lot of social constructs, i honestly think its sort of unneeded. my gender is complex in the most noncomplex way, its vast and its tiny. ive made my own genders based off of feelings and intrests, i think thats the best way to get started with genderhoarding. making your own ideas, analyzing yourself. (personally its helped me become more aware of who i am!) imaginationnnnn!! creativity!! make something up, no ones stopping you! the way i view gender is its what makes you, you. it doesnt have to make sense to anyone but you. it doesnt have to make sense! some of the things i tie in with my gender are the rustling of leaves in a forest, fog in the early morning, large fields, chaotic music, soft stuffed animals, the smell of pavement after it rains, soft piano music, acoustic guitar, the moon some of those things are real different!! and those are some of the things that i view my gender as! i think its a lot easier too with the internet, theres a ton of people who have similar ideas and interests so they also make genders, sexualities, and flags to go along with them.

i have a board on pinterest that i frequently add stuff to, i could link it here if you would like! i also save just anynthing that pops up if it remindes me of my friends or it seems cool. it doesnt mean i identify with it, but its cool to read about them! i keep track of them in a notebook as well!! my genders relate to my hyperfixations, mostly. Hyperfixations and anything that i can relate too! ex. horrormasc: a masculine aligned horrorgender. fits both definitions (1: a horrifying/all over the place gender, and 2: a gender related to different horror genres) raingender: a xenogender connected to the rain scenekid/scene neutral, oldwebemoic, onlineboyic, endspacic etc, etc. dont feel rushed at all to tell your boyfriend! when i started feeling more comfortable telling people, i made sure to have articals pulled up to read, notes etc. so it would be easier to sort me thoughts? get it out more smoothly. i also wanted to talk about self-diagnosing!! i hear so much negative about it, but honestly, its good to research and try and find out things about yourself. that my opinion. and not for longterm, just for a bit until you can get evaluated. gahhhhh self diagnosing is valid and it makes me so mad to see people who think its not. granted, some people to just see a couple things and "oh yup got that" but when you really spend time looking at signs, symptoms, traits it can be very beneficial in the long run, and also just to check before you go get evaluated also i apologize if this is insanely long, or if it makes no sense. im sleep deprived, im trying to fall asleep gahh i hope this helped even a little bit!! if you want me to expand on anything or explain anything further feel free to dm me!

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

Was at the theatre recently. Saw a classic play. Went absolutely nuts over the way they handled light and the costumes and gained like five new genders AND THE PARALLELS THE SPIRALLING THE ENTIRE LAST SCENE GAHHHHH CHEWING ON GLASS I AM SCRATCHING AT THE WALLS OF MY ENCLOSURE I AM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS

anyways. aside from the fact that my local theatre did the whole thing beautifully. i have NEVER, not once in my life, been gripped by an emotion This Strong. like, wonder and amazement and sheer admiration and at the same time i was gripped by this gaping, insurmountable envy like. this is so amazing. i will never write a play like that. i want to be the one to have written this. i have never felt so deeply and so directly in my life. deeply, and a lot, yes, but always with a sense of detachment of sorts bc it was just too great an emotion to think.

this? no. admiration and envy it was so amazing i wanted to cry. i don't think this is a negative thing btw quite the opposite. but AUGH. it's been a while and STILL. whenever i think of this i can feel this mix of adoration and wonder and envy twisting my insides around. i need to write something that says something this important. i need to write something that makes someone else feels like this. i need to make people feel things. i need to be remembered by and for my words. i need to dissect the author and eat their words. i need to completely lose myself in this text and bleed ink until maybe i write something worth saying out loud. i want to scream. i might cry again. it was so amazing. i want that too. i don't even know how to put this

[arguablysomaya]

What do you think of Zaheer as a representation of anarchism/or how anarchism is presented in the Legend of Korra?

ok full disclosure i actually haven’t fully watched LoK but gahhhhh

it’s one of those instances where putting scary music and intimidating scripting over a character isn’t enough to actually make them the bad guy.

the worst offense is honestly that the writers seem to believe anarchy=chaos, which really isn’t true. it’s a misconception that goes all the way back to Hobbes and Rousseau and the debate over the State of Nature. and more importantly, they STATE that these are their beliefs through zaheer. now that’s a fine philosophical argument, but the problem is we know what the state of nature was like- anthropology in particular has revealed that humans lived in relative harmony under anarchism for most of our history. so the truth is: anyone saying that breaking down “protective” structures like markers or government will be better for the world is RIGHT. but the writers, and by extension zaheer, don’t have that knowledge. so zaheer only believes in anarchism because of exactly what it tries to prevent.

anarchism as an ideology argues, with plenty of factual basis, that life without government or capital is far more peaceful than life with. and that these institutions actually breed the negative aspects of human nature.

But naturally, you can’t exactly say that on mainstream television, especially if you stand to personally gain from the preservation of the state capitalist system. so zaheer gets to look real foolish arguing that death and destruction are the natural state for humanity, and that that’s somehow good.

in my HUMBLE opinion, it’s often really difficult to actually make a solid critique of left wing ideologies, especially ones as committed to the individual and common good as anarchism. so it’s usually easier to resort to: “this antagonist is bad bc they’re violent and the hero doesn’t like that!” instead of anything of substance

real anarchists don’t do political violence just because it’s fun. they do it because the violence of combatting the system is less harmful than the violence of the system continuing unchecked. and there’s nobody i’ve ever seen who can villainize that anarchism that successfully, so they create their strawmen and start hacking away

[dearlittlefandom-stalker]

The way you put the flashbacks to happy moments of Sparrow’s copper golem life and then Human!Sparrow gahhhhhhhh also the other copper golem reaching for him gahhhhh

Anyway um everyone should go watch this. It’ll only break your heart a little, I promise. You won’t have any negative repercussions from watching this, like screaming or sobbing or anything it’ll be fiiiiiiiine!!! It’ll all be fine…

ITS DONE

My first animatic!! Pls go watch its very cool

[flxwer-prince]

fellas is it gay to ummmm i forgot what i was gonna write but i miss my friend i lov him,, he’s too far away and i gotta wait until may to see him :((((

[e1dritchqueer]

Some morning annihilation posting.

this isn't that much but gd I love the usage of negative space in the 2nd pannel like gahhhhh it's really well done and effectively communicates part of what nova is struggling with. Both the figure of nova and the text bubble are surrounded by negative space which mmmmm is a very effective decisio. The art and direction for this run is really well thought out and utilized

[rurihana]

Exposing myself, HI LEVI BBY CAN I CALL YOU THAT?

The anon you recently replied to was me... 👉🏻👈🏻 my name is Indigo >//u//<

I was and still am 100% serious ajskksjsjdbdk GAHHHHH im so embarrassed hehe, how do you feel about aromantic people who.. who still enter relationships (like uhm, hehe, the relationships are platonic but have the intimacy intact, s-so you'd still hug and uhmm kiss and go on dates as friends or even as partners but in a uhhmm platonic way... hehe) theres also alterous love which is suidjd a type of attraction thats deeper than platonic but not romantic, how does that sound? EEE

I just hhhhsjdjdjx have so much love to give to you, you say you don't do anything and often put yourself down but i think your passions are so wonderful and you are just too darn cute frkjskdjxk, its so adorable when you speak about your interests and i just wanna play video games and binge animes with you 25/8 i just ILOVEYOUSOMUCHDOYOULOVEMETOO?

Wanna.. cuddle you and hold your HANDS hhh

If this is too much ill break it down:

How do you feel about aromantic people?

Would you consider an aromantic type of relationship...? (Queer-platonic, alterous)

D-do you perhaps take a liking to people who are fat/big? (Fat isnt a bad word to me! Its just society that makes it so negative 🙁)

I want.. i want to cuddle you into my chonky squish, is that okay? Hejsjdjhekxjskjdh

AH? So, it's you...! Wow, I'm not sure whether to be relieved or terrified that it isn't someone messing with me!!!

...That kind of love.. 'k, I'm 0 IQ, so sorry in advance if I'm wrong, but.. what you described- it's like something sort of in-between best friends and lovers, right? That sounds super cool! I mean, it's basically just like what Henry and the Lord of Shadows have! Like, their relationship with each other is so different from what both of them have with any other character! In fact, calling them "best friends" only really describes a fraction of the depth of their relationship... they're totally soulmates! Gosh ESPECIALLY with that one scene where the Lord of Shadows pledges himself and his loyalty to Henry, and

..Sorry, I realize I'm making this post too long by talking so much. But, you said you liked that, didn't you..? AUGH. I don't know!!! I don't know anything!!!!!! I'll just keep writing.

But um, well, I've always wanted what they have, so... yeah, I guess so! That kind of love.. well, that kind of relationship in general definitely does sound like it'd be my kind of thing ^^

Also I don't really care what someone looks like, as long as they're nice to me LOL! And.. you're definitely being really nice to me right now.. um, thank you for that! If you don't mind it being with someone like me, then... cuddling sounds like it'd be nice. Maybe. I'll- think about it, okay?!

[randomingoftherandomness]

History3 ep 13 - 14

Episode 13

SHAO FEI YOUR REACTION. TANG YI THE WAY YOU LOOK AT HIM. GAHHHHH. And then Shao Fei smiling to himself in the bathroom. You two idiots. You deserve each other.

Tang Yi and Jack; Husbands who cook and feed their Husbands. We stan. We also stan protective Husbands trying to protect their idiots.

Okokokokokokokokokokokok backstory of doom. I have theories but my main thing rn is holy shit buster you laid hands on your kid you useless sack of shit I hope you died and went straight to hell

Hong Ye has always been Hong Ye and dang girl I stan the man you chose coz him with that unbuttoned top button is hella hot though girl you had good eyes (keeping the rest under a read more coz this shit got fucking long yo)

Ahhhhhhh Tang sir is so kiiiiindddd and sweet and 😭😭😭 I can see why Tang Yi loves him so much and is so dedicated to his memory and Lao Tang and Xiao Tang is just 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Tang Yi, you dolt, I love you to absolute bits but you don't have to do this alone you do realise that don't you?

Zhao Zi is fucking Big Mood™️ me. Uncle Google will tell you what you need to know. The answers themselves are absolute hilarity though I can't even 😂 😂 😂

Asking Shao Fei: I don't know 😂 😂 😂 way to go. Everyone doesn't know.

UGH. THE HETEROSEXUAL ANGST.

OK first up. Has Tang Yi always been wearing earrings? Also, Tang Yi is right and he should say it. If you're not gonna reciprocate her feelings, let her go. Dao Yi ge it ain't fair on her and in the long run it will just make her hate you dude

Also, fuck De ge the Judas scum.

This show. THIS MOTHERFUCKING SHOW FUCKING ME UP WITH EMOTIONS I CAN'T. TANG YI YOU SWEETEST BABU.

Also can we talk about the note about Vaseline at the end there? I'm watching AdamUni's subs and I appreciate these educational moments.

Episode 14

CAN WE JUST. TALK ABOUT THE WAY TANG YI TURNS AWAY AT THE SIGHT OF SHAO FEI WALKING IN WITH A CAKE. CAN WE JUST. MY HEART.

I've been chasing you for four years so I know it's your birthday. BOYYYYY. Tang Yi, the darling, crying because of emotions. I really think Chris Wu is doing a fantastic job especially in these last few episodes. I love them if I hadn't said it enough.

They have matching music boxes? IT'S A CONSPIRACY. I have theories, but the fact of it is that Tang Yi had a dick for an adopted father. Shao Fei asked for his birthday wish and the dude just... Gave it. Like that. And his wish was to spend all his birthdays with him. OK. BRB. I'm just gonna go. Cry in the woods or something.

Since the day I met you I knew that medicine couldn't save me. OK. What the fuck even is this show I'm - - - - - Maybe coz I'm watching on my phone but are they just... Rubbing their faces against each other?

Hello? 911? I want to report a murder. OF MY HEART. Seriously I can just watch them being all fluffy and domestic and romantic as shit for forever. I want them to be happy in this unhappy world 😭

Also, fuck De ge the Judas scum fuck him so very much

Hong Ye I love you girl I do. I love you for taking a stand for yourself and respecting yourself enough to walk away, I do.

Also, coz I don't think I can say this enough, FUCK DE GE THE JUDAS SCUM. Omg fuck this dude. Also, fuck this subplot. I have to step away for a second because it’s triggering and while I appreciate that they are letting Shao Fei be the one to calm Tang Yi down, I.... Need to take a walk for a bit.

I really love Tang Yi and Hong Ye's dynamic. You can tell that they really love and care for each other. They've been through so much together. Tang Yi's face when he caught Hong Ye's side eye tho. It just screams you two are a Messy Messy Mess. I mean, I agree. These two really need to sort their shit out tho. Especially Gu Dao Yi. Bruh. You need to let her go man.

OOOOOO.... A hug! I suppose this is a... Progress? I can get where he is coming from, but like, dude, you gotta FUCKING MAKE UP YOUR MIND MAN. You’re only hurting her!!! You got baggage bruh. Okkokokokokokokokokok HE COnFESSED. Ok this is kinda cute. I can get with this. Yes kiss your girl bruh kiss her. Hold her tight and keep making her smile dude! 

OH CONSPIRACIESSS ABOUND! Honestly, I know this may be an unpopular opinion, but I’m ok with no proper progress on the Jack and Zhao Zi front because I get that they need to flesh out some of the things. And they’re letting the Tangfei relationship breath and grow a little. I’m pretty sure they will allow Jack and Zhao Zi to do the same. I read on AdamUni’s page that Ep.14 was trending with a lot of negativity? That’s frustrating and a completely unjust reasoning (read that the taiwanese fans didn’t like it because the De ge scene contradicted the lovely dovey birthday scene). While I personally had to skip through it, I do appreciate the fact that they showed how sexual assault can happen whether you’re a man or a woman, and it can be committed by people you trust. What do you guys think though?

[treeplays]

ok so final season thoughts so far...

the positives:

opening credits sequence and music!

360-degree camera!

new combat style is great

new graphics look is sooo much better

collectables!

ending choice slides & character status!

"your relationship has changed"!

episode runtime is finally decent

i like the idea of the main cast this season all being clem's age, so it's equals interacting with each other for once instead of it constantly being clem versus the adult world 

that basement sequence! (the lead-up, the darkness, the blood-red flashlight, the lightning, the sounds, gahhhhh!) 

also loved the train station car getaway

the negatives:

again with the horrible generic main menu design & no chapter select option

again choosing to hang out with x character means you miss out on character development for the other. no rewind means it's even harder to go back and see it for yourself

no cumulative effect for relationships- i'm not positive bc i haven't tested it thoroughly myself but from what i can tell it seems that the outcome of relationship states are tied to single lines of dialogue rather than your decisions throughout. which is... not great especially ie for aj, "dont hesitate" = pragmatic rather than "save a bullet for yourself" which = ruthless. not only does it feel backwards (is that a bug?) but even if you're completely consistent you still can end up with an aj opposite to everything you've done, just bc of a single line of dialogue. doesn't feel right. especially with all the "aj is watching" emphasis. hope it's a bug tbh bc that just makes things sooo predictable.

i'm not a huge fan of the story builder that shows at the beginning of the episode. i mean the art is gorgeous but it seems so transparent how certain decisions are designated either important or completely inconsequential. and it prompted me to fill in the blank with some decisions while with others it automatically detected my past choices. ??? And with barely any mention of ANF at all it's just :/ are u really that obviously just throwing it out the window, telltale?? why even bother ghhhggggg i love javi but i STILL don't understand why they went with his storyline for instead of sticking with clem for a season 3. especially with so many different "#myclem" ending slides for a new frontier, like, you just know that it's all pointless :(((((( plus the disconnect with ANF's ruthless bloodthirsty clem no matter your past decisions, she feels like a completely different character from seasons 1 and 2, it just feels weird especially when you can have her go all "softy" again in the final season. lol like this clem is too reasonable, ANF clem is just a different person

anyway i really want to find out what happened at the ranch, and also Richmond?? why would clem not go back if she was good friends with javi? or maybe she did and something happened???

also there's a known bug with a s2 ending- staying at wellington doesn't register in the game. so my clem didn't have the cheek scar but i swear i got a glimpse of kenny's hat as she was taking things out of her backpack in the piano room. or maybe it was just her own hat lol but i'm sad i got so excited for a minute thinking aj was finally going to get to wear it! hopefully they'll get it fixed but i also don't understand / hate that the story builder doesn't account for these things so it's just like Okayyyy well that obv doesn't matter then ughh

[sugayespleasse]

3, 13, 18, 33, & 40 🤗❤️

3. rant. just do it

Aight so my school no longer allows students to carry their backpacks from class to class and they claim that it’s a safety hazard. So a bitch has to carry three trips of shit into the school and is late to class all the damn time. ALSO girls have periods and im sorry but where the hell am i supposed to keep that stuff?? Okay and ik that yall are probably like, “bitch don’t you have a locker??” I do. It is in upstairs and i have no way of getting up to it during the allotted passing period time. ALSO we are allowed to have purses and fuquing FANNY PACKS but not backpacks... It just doesn’t make sense because you can fit a knife, a little gun, and some drugs in both of those buuuut by taking away our ability to have backpacks, it will fix our drug problem. GAHHHHH this is like the only thing that gets me upset and it’s super minor in the grand scheme of things. Also a light-hearted thing that grinds my gears is when people say “pitcher” rather than “picture”. My friend and I have a count for one of my teachers that says it and we are up to 50 rn. Anyway, i don’t really like to post about negative things so sorry! This is my rant for the year lol 

13. ever prank called a store?

Naw man 

18. rant about your favorite musician 

OKaY my blog is one big rant about BTS so that’s gonna be my answer... maybe i’ll come back and edit it idk 

33. what do you think about a lot

My Dog, my future, a particular boy, and school stuff... i do sometimes think about yall and i always hope you are doing okay. Sometimes i just lurk on your blogs cause a bitch worries about some of yall. 

40. answer with one of your ‘school memes’ (inside jokes you have with your class/grade) with no explanation

Sinkhole 

unusual(ish) asks  X

[solipsistful]

on the plus side, got the fan working ssssorta? it basically needs to be kickstarted but seems to work otherwise lmao

on the negative side, fucking goddamn fraudulent charges on our card what the fuck gahhhhh

(it seems like there’s not going to be any trouble with reverting it??? hopefully?? but holy shit come on)

- Ace

[theinkchild]

I’VE OVERINDUUUuLGED IN JUST ABOUT EVERYTHINNG

I wouldn’t say I accomplished everythin just yet.

I schmoozed on over.. being comfortable in these two groups of people i’ve been meaning to talk to in years... ONE FOR AN ENTIRE TWO MONTHS LIKE WHAT!! i can’t really say everything that happens or else i sound like a creep.. but!! i wish i had time to write down all my feelings as they happen...b ut that’s not the same as experiencing them and just letting those feelings settle in... I have been full assimilated.. but not quite.. they don’t follow alllll me back on twitter. and hey that’s totally cool if they ain’t reading this why am i even saying this i can just like.. hrrnngnn tell em to follow meeee gahhhhh

OH SPEAKING OF G ROUps, I just got into my first study group?? first?? no aughh. i mean, i have been, but these are the craziest bunch of group of people i’ve ever met with enough energy to rock an entire apartment complex. i’m afraid, but hey, new experiences are cool.. and if i’m gone from the internet, i have probably assimilated more with those crazy hacks.. maybe THIS blog post will be my final one.. lol any of my blog posts might be my final ones this green dolt cant last forever

BORING STUFF but i’ve been working for an entire year now. like, i’ve been reading my past tweets just to see if i said anything significant from that time around.. but i was just being.. weird?? and vague.. and sad.. ghh.. but then i kept scrolling, averting my eyes from all that gross negativity i kept venting... and yes.. i guess i was happier once i spent more time on the job. and without it, i wouldnt have my switch, this great laptop that i still havent used to its full extent and mY MIC BABEEEEyyy

yknow i dont even know why im making this last bullet point but ive been working for so long, i can sleep on the job and get away with it. as long as i smile, scan them items, and thank them, im cool. i made this blog post at work even. and here i am tip tapping away finishing it up

gahh and well, i feel like sleeping since it’s so rainy..

sorry but also NOT SORRY for this mega big blog post.. friendship delayed my time into splitting this into smaller pieces SO U GET WHAT U FOLLOWED ME FOR... more squid gibberish and moss. and water. and my cute (hopefully contagious) passion to continue prolonging my life and recording it forever.

[readbythestarlight]

some MEA negativity under the cut. I’m having Reyes/Ryder feelings and can’t do anything with them so I’m spewing my disappointment here. If you liked MEA you probably don’t want to read. Even if you didn’t like it you probably don’t want to read. This is just a rambling mess.

Sometimes I really want to write Reyes/Zach fic that’s not AU but then I remember that High Noon was a mess and because of that that hardly anything in the whole romance made a lot of sense in context and I get bummed because I’d basically have to restructure canon to make anything work to my satisfaction.

Like. I’ve got no issue with Reyes being the Charlatan. I could easily make that work with my Ryder. He’d be upset at first but if he loves Reyes they would talk it out and things could be fine.

But like the whole... casual murder of Sloane thing? That’s iffy. Idk that Zach could look past that, because it was straight up murder. The lies he can handle because those only hurt himself. And like Zach doesn’t like Sloane, but Reyes had her shot in the back. (Also there’s the issue where the game never really gave us any real reason to hate her other than that she can be cruel, but that’s a whole other thing).

IDK, Reyes is a good character and I love him and my Ryder loves him, but the way the game handled him was such a mess, and I feel like I can’t really fix that without making everything at least partially AU and Reyes at least partly OOC.

Then again there’s also the question of what Reyes’ character really is anyway. Up until High Noon I didn’t really get the casual murder vibe. Sneaky underhanded smuggler vibe, sure, maybe in like a slightly more dishonest Han Solo way. He’d shoot first to make sure he doesn’t die. I’m down for that. If it had been a situation where Sloane found out he was the charlatan and had him at gun point and he got her from a shot under the table, no warning? Fine.

And idk, maybe I’m being one of those fans who can’t accept that her favorite is a bad person who would willingly shoot someone in the back for power? I try hard not to be one of those people. Because like that does a disservice to the character and I don’t want to do that. They are who they are.

Gahhhhh I don’t know why I’m even talking about this. I have homework to be doing and instead I’m sitting here trying to figure out why Reyes seems so disjointed as a character and how I can reconcile it and also wondering why I even care.

Like idk man I wasn’t even upset about the fight with his ex-girlfriend, because she totally attacked first. I wasn’t upset about the lies and the secrets, because those are just part of it. All of that made sense to his character.

High Noon just... didn’t. Not with the context we were given. High Noon made a sketchy dude doing what he has to to survive into a cold blooded killer who shot a woman in the back for power. And there’s a disconnect there for me. If Sloane had been casually murdering people and was a menace who I felt really needed to be stopped no matter what, then fine. I’d have been okay with High Noon (or at least more okay).

But High Noon makes Reyes Vidal look like the bad guy, and I don’t understand that. I just don’t. I can’t reconcile it with 99% of the rest of his behavior.

It’s not even that I need the characters to always do the honorable thing. Zach promised that one Kett guy at the facility that he would let him live if he let the Angara go, but then Zach also broke his promise and killed him. So like. Sometimes there are circumstances that I can accept these things in. Does it make it right, no, but context matters.

I don’t know. I think this really comes back to my issues with MEA as a whole, actually. No one made a lot of sense. (okay... Vetra and Drack did. Their characters were pretty consistent, god bless them). But Reyes? Gil? Liam? Oh my god don’t get me started on Liam and his whole personal quest. PeeBee was decentish, actually. Cora, meh. The non-squad characters were actually more consistent than most other characters, actually. 

My whole point being, I guess, that I get sad because I made this Ryder that I want to write with, and he fell in love with Reyes who I want him to be with, but because the story is so messy and the characterizations so... meh, I feel like too many things don’t make enough sense. I either have to accept that Reyes is a cold enough man that he can commit murder for power, and that because of that he and Zach can’t be together regardless of their feelings, or I have to accept that the writers for MEA went for drama and nonsense over consistent characterization (wouldn’t be the first time tbh...), and have to ignore an entire section of the (already limited) romance just to make things work.

Ugghggghghgh why did MEA have to suck so much?