#gaaah i cant believe it’s happening

[icanseeuslostinthememory]

IN 2 WEEKS I WILL BE IN PARIS SINGING PARIS!!!

[borathae]

Chapter 35

it was a pretty bad dream. I tried to make it stop”, MOM I LOVE HIM

we are in his room 👀👀 what happened afterwards “You got pretty drunk last night and then insisted on sleeping with me so I wouldn’t feel lonely.” oops lets see what all she did 😭😭

“I wouldn’t take advantage of you like that.” PERIODT

“You’re a terrible fighter, especially when drunk.” 😭😭😭

are you telling me that you were awake the entire night?” EDWARD CULLEN WHO??

TAE IS GETTING RELEASED YESS YEEHAW WE DID IT

he want to see her happy oh oh

“Also your cheek is really soft, it feels nice to kiss”, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS INFO?? CRY? SCREAM? YEET MYSELF OUT THE WINDOW? PUNCH A WALL? SHIT BRICKS? PULL OUT HAIR? AAA

“Whatever, I’m leaving AAH HE IS SUCHA CUTIE PIE I CANT PLEASE MY TSUNDERE KITTY my lil yogurt

WAIT IS THAT FORESHADOW OR SOMETHING or just me overthinking?? didnt say something like that last chapter( wait that was me jumping into conclusion in the review🤡)

“Nuh-uh you’re not. XD this is so funny, like she just did that haha i love them both pls

You shouldn’t assume the worst, especially when Yoongi is trying so hard to be better for you. You should be better for him too and finally stop doubting him. He is a sweet man, a little rough and cold at times, but at his core Yoongi is a good man. wow just called us all out for having mixed feelings about him BUT I ALSO LOVE HIM STINKING SOO MUCH

HE GAVE US SWEET DREAMS, taking "sweet dreams/goodnight" to another level

“You should have come to me whenever it happened. I could have calmed them down.” oh my yoongi bear

she is so nice, cuz i would have chosen violence for joon

“it offends me that you think so lowly of me.” im sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️

“No, of course not”, he grumbles. ofc he is 😭i love him and his new feelings, the way u subtly describe those changes aah

“Test you?” you giggle, “come on Yoongi Boongie, relax”, you tell him, leaning down to kiss his tensed neck. you have officially broken him

“It’s just how the pants are cut”, he mumbles. sure sure i believe you

The Creator of vampires possesses a sensitive neck and is shivering from mere kisses. AAAAH

another panties ripped #justiceforpanties #stoppantyabuse2024

their chemistry is just 😭😭

“Yeah?” you try not to sound too affected by his confession, but honestly you are. me at you

His voice was made for such dirty words, they sound so sinful when his tongue forms them. HISVOICEINCONCERTSAAAAAA

“Tell me what to do next” I HAVE ASCENDED

“uhm, damn Yoongi, give me a moment. I, I wasn’t ready for you to be so into this.” sis is shooketh, im her she is me

WE ARE RIDFING HIS FACE??

Since when did he get so hot? "Always was”, he says.  WTF SHUT UP U DIDNT HEAR THAT SNEAKY MY

"Christ. Stop teasing hold on yoongles is bc, LIKE BC cuz he is 3000 holy shit, my mind is blown

His hair tickles your nose, it smells of mint and green apple. where did he get green apple scented shampoo

"I think”, he croaks, fingers squeezing your hip.  HE IS HAPPY YES MY YOON

HE IS ARCHING HIS BACK “Princess, s-slow down”, he chokes out. YOONGI UR TOO HOT UR KILLING ME

Yoongi furrows his brows and lets out a soft sob. It sounded desperate and high-pitched.  I HAVE DIED, RESURRECTED AND DIED AGAIN

“I’m your willing s-slave”, boi u cant just say that out of nowhere my heart just gave out

you can devour me IM GONNA BITE YOU, VAMPIRE HEALING WONT DO SHIT TO THE HICKEY IM ABOUT TO GIVE YOU BABY

they are so hot and adorable together i wanna give them my unborn child

it was a pretty bad dream. I tried to make it stop”, MOM I LOVE HIM

I LOVE HIM TOO GAAAH

“I wouldn’t take advantage of you like that.” PERIODT

he is actually so important to me

“You’re a terrible fighter, especially when drunk.” 😭😭😭

jJFASJDF he is so sassy I love himm

he want to see her happy oh oh

*sobs so hard she dies*

“Also your cheek is really soft, it feels nice to kiss”, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS INFO?? CRY? SCREAM? YEET MYSELF OUT THE WINDOW? PUNCH A WALL? SHIT BRICKS? PULL OUT HAIR? AAA

ME FRO REAL LIKE OMFMDFM

“Whatever, I’m leaving AAH HE IS SUCHA CUTIE PIE I CANT PLEASE MY TSUNDERE KITTY my lil yogurt

omfg "my lil yogurt" is unironically such a cute nickname OMFG I MIGHT NEED TO MAKE HER SAY IT TO HIM ONCE IIIHIHIHI

WAIT IS THAT FORESHADOW OR SOMETHING or just me overthinking?? didnt say something like that last chapter( wait that was me jumping into conclusion in the review🤡)

mhhhhhhhhhhm 👀👀👀

“Nuh-uh you’re not. XD this is so funny, like she just did that haha i love them both pls

fajdsjf I love her she is so hot

You shouldn’t assume the worst, especially when Yoongi is trying so hard to be better for you. You should be better for him too and finally stop doubting him. He is a sweet man, a little rough and cold at times, but at his core Yoongi is a good man. wow just called us all out for having mixed feelings about him BUT I ALSO LOVE HIM STINKING SOO MUCH

fjasdjfj HE IS THE CUTEST YOU CANT BE MAD AT HIM GOSHH

HE GAVE US SWEET DREAMS, taking "sweet dreams/goodnight" to another level

😭😭😭😭

“You should have come to me whenever it happened. I could have calmed them down.” oh my yoongi bear

LIKE HE IS SO COMFORT!!!!!

“No, of course not”, he grumbles. ofc he is 😭i love him and his new feelings, the way u subtly describe those changes aah

jadjsf htank you!! heheeh

“Test you?” you giggle, “come on Yoongi Boongie, relax”, you tell him, leaning down to kiss his tensed neck. you have officially broken him

boy is officially fainting (real)

“It’s just how the pants are cut”, he mumbles. sure sure i believe you

jfajsdf I love how he is always lying lIKE BOOy

The Creator of vampires possesses a sensitive neck and is shivering from mere kisses. AAAAH

*feral noises*

their chemistry is just 😭😭

THANK YOU IT IS LIKE IT'S MAKING ME INSANE

“Yeah?” you try not to sound too affected by his confession, but honestly you are. me at you

JADSJF

His voice was made for such dirty words, they sound so sinful when his tongue forms them. HISVOICEINCONCERTSAAAAAA

DONT I WILL CREAM

“Tell me what to do next” I HAVE ASCENDED

I forgot that I made him say that- OGOODBYE

WE ARE RIDFING HIS FACE??

*dies*

Since when did he get so hot? "Always was”, he says.  WTF SHUT UP U DIDNT HEAR THAT SNEAKY MY

I NEED HIM SO BAD

"Christ. Stop teasing hold on yoongles is bc, LIKE BC cuz he is 3000 holy shit, my mind is blown

jfasdjfjas he is indeed JFJADSF

His hair tickles your nose, it smells of mint and green apple. where did he get green apple scented shampoo

THERE IS ACTUALLY GREEN APPLE SHAMPOO YOU CAN BUY IN MY LOCAL STORE IT SMELLS SO GOOD

"I think”, he croaks, fingers squeezing your hip.  HE IS HAPPY YES MY YOON

boongie yoobi baby :(

HE IS ARCHING HIS BACK “Princess, s-slow down”, he chokes out. YOONGI UR TOO HOT UR KILLING ME

HELP I FORGOT ABOUT THE BACK ARCHING WTFFDSFSA

Yoongi furrows his brows and lets out a soft sob. It sounded desperate and high-pitched.  I HAVE DIED, RESURRECTED AND DIED AGAIN

I forgot about this too *dies*

“I’m your willing s-slave”, boi u cant just say that out of nowhere my heart just gave out

I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT THIS I THINK ABOUT IT DAILY

you can devour me IM GONNA BITE YOU, VAMPIRE HEALING WONT DO SHIT TO THE HICKEY IM ABOUT TO GIVE YOU BABY

ME FOR REAL LIKE SREIOUSLY

they are so hot and adorable together i wanna give them my unborn child

HELP HAHAHHAHA THIS IS SO FUNNY HAHAHHA

[nad-zeta]

Zeta zeta zetaaaaa OC ask game for Zetaaaaa! 📓 ⚖️👽

Eeeeeek! NEEEEMOOOO neeemooo neeemo!

Hehehehe❤😊😳🌟⭐hope ya had a goood Thursday 🌟🌌🌠❤🔥

Hehehehe ooooh! Here we goooooo! Rp Zeta activate!

📓 Write a typical diary/journal page by your OC! (or if you’d rather not, describe their journal. Do they keep one, why?)

//reaches under pillow to pull out olive green journal littered with self drawn doodles

/ /Draws random little doodles to clear mind and help relax 😳🌼🌌🌠

20 May (whatever year it may be)

Dessert inspired by new paining! DON'T FORGET!

Condensed milk pannacotta, surrounded by blue coral sponges, popped red sago, blueberry sorbet, kiwi spheres, caramelized white fudge soil, lemon curd and finally garnished with toasted coconut flakes

Make one extra to thank the dork for the painting

//doodle of said dessert

⚖️ What is the biggest crime your OC has committed? Are they a theif, a cheat, a liar? What is the smallest, most petty crime they’ve committed? Or do they not do crime at all?

Biggest crime? //leans in and lowers voice to a whisper. Biggest crime i ever committed was steal a pen! Like gaaah! I still feel bad about it 🙈🙈🙈😳 but like it must have just fallen in my bag and i dono who it belongs to!🥺🥺 the shame!

👽 Describe your OC as if they were an urban legend or myth!

The sugar fairy that blesses your day with sparkles and sunshine! If you wanna summon said fairy, all you have to do is crack open a tin of condensed milk and watch the magic happen!🌠🌠🌌🌌 hehehe also works with ice cream and chocolate 🥺😳🔥😂

Hehehe eeeeek thanks for sending in neeeeeemoooo darling! And gooood luck with tomorrow! SPARKLE FRIDAY ACTIVATE! Eeek //dances around!😳😂🥺🥺🥺🔥😊🌟⭐🌠🌌love ya lots dear! Sending ya allll the sparkles! Lets ace to more! Like omw i cant believe its already weekend 😅😅 where has the time gone😅😅😅

[blacknpurplewarpster]

[IDW Skywarp Headcanon]

More about his awful comments/attitude towards others

I know I’ve written about this before but I cant seem to find it anywhere on my blog. I was rereading the original comic series and thought I’d elaborate a little bit more than what I had previously wrote. I was going to include a snippet from Unicron #2 

Skywarp: “Among others. Could you try bumbling into trouble a little closer to the mainland next time? This was decidedly inconvenient.”  Helix: “I think he means ‘Glad you guys are okay. Sorry it took so long to reach you.’ Isn’t that right, Skywarp?” Skywarp: “I suppose. I would have been more annoyed if we had come all this way and they were already dead.” Helix: “Do you actually know when you’re being awful?” Skywarp: “Almost always. Fortunately, showing up and being remarkable are more important to being a G.I. Joe than unnecessary human pleasantries.” 

Skywarp mentions that he knows when he is being awful with his comments and just overall to others when Helix calls him out on it after just saving part of his team. This team he has been with for a few years and is close to them, even Rock. Going through the comments, he makes snarky ass comments towards Rock and doesn’t give a shit about what his friend thinks either. I’ll come back to Rock in a bit here. Some of his comments towards Rock are rather hilarious in the way Skywarp is portrayed doing them. Not to say Rock deserves his shitty attitude. But later on, they become better and closer friends. 

Even though he is no longer a Decepticon, he still puts duty above everything else, even if it means stepping on others toes or hurting others feelings. Thing is, Skywarp doesn’t care. He feels being blunt is better than beating around the bush or sugarcoating things. He will tell others straight up what he feels and doesn’t give a shit about what it might do. 

Another example is he even says this to Thundercracker, whom he hasn’t seen in a decade or more. 

Thundercracker: “Last time I saw you, you shot me in the face.” Skywarp: “Eh, you deserved it.” 

Like jeezus straight to his face. I think it was like the second sentence he said to Thundercracker after not seeing him for YEARS. Like harsh much? 

So pretty much no one can hide from this. The one thing I have noticed, his snarky comments seem to back off once there’s a tighter bond between himself and whomever else. This happens once Skywarp has a change of heart once he realized how Rock and himself are a lot more similar than he thought. Rock repeatedly tells Skywarp about being alone but he finally realizes this at one important moment. Rock decides to own up to his mistakes of paralyzing Grand Slam and wants to sacrifice his life to blow up the Fatal Fluffies in hopes to get rid of his guilt but its also a sense of pride from him. Skywarp decides to stay back with Rock and decides to stay even when the detonator goes off--surprise surprise, he saves Rock and their bond grows close. 

Here’s some of their conversations between one another just to show you: You can skip all the way down to see my final thoughts. 

---------------------------------------------------------------- GI Joe #1: Rock: Hey, uhh, Skywarp… I was wondering… seeing as we’re teammates… you think I could ride back with you? Skywarp: Are you asking me…to open up my cockpit… and allow you to climb inside of me? Rock: Umm.. yes? Skywarp: Jets off Rock: Looks like I’m with you again.

GI Joe #4

Skywarp: “Look at them. Squabbling in the dirt like… like insects! They can’t do anything. They can accomplish nothing… without me!” Rock: “Hey Skywarp… Instead of waiting for transpo, I was thinking that if you don’t mind, maybe we could.. you know.” Skywarp: Squints hard and jets off Rock: “Jerk.”

Gi Joe #5 Skywarp: “Tell me… you geeks got your data…?” Skywarp: “This isn’t working! I’m tired of you insects leaning on me! Why am I the only one— GAAAH!” Covergirl: “Don’t worry, Skywarp…the calvary’s arrived!” Skywarp: “Now you cowards show up, after sending me ahead.” Rock: “Hey now… I offered to ride with you.” Skywarp: “You know my feelings on that.” Skywarp: “Are you even helping at all?!” Rock: “Honestly? Not really. But if you’d let me ride with—ooofh-!” Skywarp: “Gahhh!” Covergirl: “Skywarp! Come in! Do you read us?!” Skywarp: Khhkkthhhkkt Rock: “Skywarp! Are… are you ok?” Skywarp: “kkhkt No…But I will be there once we will that thing. Were you getting emotional, you sentimental insect?” Rock: “What? I was… No…”

GI Joe #6 Skywarp: “Hrmph. I’ll be the judge of that. Crude ugly thing. If this is the best you can do, no wonder you can’t fix me.” Roadblock: “Four Joes. Skywarp counts.” 

Rock: Turns into this monster from the Fatal Fluffies Skywarp: “I know what this is really about...” Rock: “Hunh?” Skywarp: “...You’re sad I wouldn’t give you a ride. But don’t worry, you’ll get what you want...When i carry you out in pieces.”

GI Joe #7 Skywarp: Is fighting mega-Rock and knows to be gentle and junk. “You are as arrogant as the rest of them! Even enlarged! even with horns and claws! You are nothing but an insec--Urlkh--!” Is being choked out.

Skywarp: “Hey! You watch your mouth!”

Rock: “I know. That’s why I’m volunteering. I’ve done enough damage more than enough. Let me redeem myself please.” Skywarp: “Sure but you aren’t going alone. Someone needs to defend your position while you set up the bomb.” Rock: “But I.. I threw you into the mole pod. the explosion was..” Skywarp: “Yeah, so another one doesn’t scare me much, besides...as soon as the bombs in place, before you hit the button... I”m getting out of here.” 

GI Joe #8 Rock: “Almost read! You gotta jet!” Skywarp: “You’ll be overrun before you can hit it! Besides...It’s an honor to stand by your side. You are a true warrior.” Rock: “No...I’m a Joe. We both are.”  Skywarp saves Rock by letting him ride inside of his cockpit in order to get away from the blast.

Gi Joe #9 Rock: “He wouldn’t let me use the radio.” Skywarp: “You haven’t earned the privilege!” Rock: “Whatever. You ready for the blast beat?”  Skywarp: “Do we have to call it that?”  Skywarp and Rock: “Yoooooooo Joooooooe!”  Rock: “Thanks to Skywarp! Hes letting me ride with him!” Skywarp: “Once! Only once!” 

GI Joe First Strike #1

Skywarp: “You need to get him his own jet!”

Scarletts Strike Force 1 Rock: Skywarp, I”m serious! Seriously! Doc: You know he’s the only one who can put up with your grouchy metal butt.. Skywarp: I thought you liked-- Doc: Nope Skywarp: .... Fine Rock: Hey! Piggyback ride! Skywarp: Start using that shotgun or I’m doing barrel rolls!

---- This is where Skywarps attitude really changes. -------

Rock: And they were chanting this name...glub? golob..goolub? Hey! Are you even listening to me? Skywarp: Its a boring story about something that didn’t actually happen! Why would I listen to it?! Rock: Because it’s stressing me out, man. It felt...different.. Skywarp: Different from your other dreams? Rock: Yeah dude Skywarp: Different from your Jem dreams? Rock: Come on man.. Skywarp: A holograms fan. You’re not metal. Rock: They have some serious riffs, alright!?

Scarletts Strike Force #2

Skywarp: Can you fix my teleportation? Or are you techgeeks just as worthless as everyone else in the Lemuria? Rock: Dude, I’m standing right here. Hey man can I help? Grand Slam: I’ve got it Rock. You only ruined the bottom half of me. Skywarp: Getting m teleportation fixed is the only reason I threw in with you insects! why havent you fixed it yet? You’ve been trying and failing since the EDC!  Grand Slam: Like I told you: We don’t have the tech, or the knowledge. or the materials.

Scarletts Strike Force #3 Skywarp: Yeah. Me. And you’re welcome. Don’t act so shocked. you insects think a giant robot doesn’t know his way around a rudimentary geothermal generator? You’ve been recruited. We’ll rendezvous in DC. You have three minutes to find yourselves a ride before surveillance is back up. Helix: Aren’t you letting people ride inside of you now? Skywarp: Only Rock ‘n Roll! 

Unicron #2 The first set of quotes goes right here in events wise. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

This is the end of their interactions. I know I didn’t show everything but it shows a huge chunk of how you can see how Skywarp is only “nice” to Rock really because in his optics, he isn’t respected by some of the others, especially Grand Slam. So in his mindset, why does he have to be nice if he doesn’t have the respect? 

He figures he lost his respect towards Thundercracker (or rather TC lost respect for Skywarp) because of what he’d done to him so he resets back to being an ass. He thinks their history doesn’t matter anymore, so he resorts to just tell him straight-up. Perhaps he was always straight up before their meeting with Starscream and he’s resorting back to his normal or preset attitude/maturity. That all of what has gone on from him shooting TC out of the sky onwards, smacked him so hard it woke him up from this “fantasy.” If that makes sense?? I’m tired and rambling. 

Deep down, I truly believe he cares but he isn’t going to show that side. He needs to put duty before anything else because that’s the motto Skywarp lives by. You can see a lot of this change in him throughout the entire series but it really sets out from AHM series onwards. His whole attitude flips and starts to really develop his character and we see this. I have a feeling he didn’t used to be like this but what he’s done in his life has shaped him to act in this way. Perhaps its a way of not letting others get close to him. It might very well be a defense mechanism. Who knows, we truly won’t know canon wise since the series ended. 

THANKS FOR BEING HERE FOR MY HEADCANON AND RAMBLE OF THOUGHTS. 

[softhaos]

ONE (1) YEAR OF SOFTHAOS

fellas, as of today – jan 14th 2019 – softhaos has turned one year old!! honestly, i never expected to last this long?? over the past year, i’ve gone through many ups and downs, made close mutuals, received so much emotional support from all kinds of people on this site and overall, i’m so thankful that i pulled my shit together and joined the community on tumblr! 

i still remember clearly when i first started out with this blog and posted the neighbor aus and got SO much support for it?? like?? i never thought it’d come this far where i could touch readers’ hearts with my word vomits?? that’s just insane. and even if you don’t read my works yet still follow me: wow, i’m so grateful that you managed to cope with my bullshit – be it from my undying hatred towards pcy and kmg, me abusing the uwuwuwu or my personal thoughts.

in other words, this is my message directed to everyone: thank you for keeping up with my bullshit uwu

now on to the part where i thank specific people for making my existence on this site more bearable,, i’ve left a message for everyone i tagged (i would’ve tagged literally everyone but i’m a stressed student i am so sorry if i forgot you kjldl and i would feel bad if i didn’t leave a note to everyone i tagged) and the list is in alphabetical order! @ anons i also left notes from you at the very bottom.

@baekberrie 💌 even though we just talked once literally two days ago thanks to my clumsy ass sending you an accidental ask, i’m so glad i actually did. pola (okay i got this from your about page im sorry kljsdl) you’re an amazing, kind and talented soul with whom i could’ve talked hours about soft bbh if it weren’t for my tiredness. i’ve only read your junmyeon oneshot so far but trust me, i’ll get to that cuddling fic with baek real soon once i’ve got more time uwu you’re honestly a talented writer and i hope we get to talk more in the future!

@baekbuns 💌 i’ve known you for how many days already you anon thot and i really can’t believe that i was vv intimidated by you at first (not gonna lie, you still scream bde but that’s another story-) hope, despite you trying to steal pretty much everyone from anyone, it’s still very fun to fight talk with you and you’re also an excellent writer uwuwuwu i am still very attacked by the thought of bartender yixing one day I WILL SUE YOU ALONG WITH PCY

@baekwell--tart 💌 bella!!!! ngl i’m still very pissed at myself for not realizing you from your old url but i’m glad i found you again!! (did i find you again? idk anymore i suffer from short term memory but i hope i got my point across sdjlkj) you’re such a warmhearted person and i’m really grateful that i got to know you. however, you’re also a funny person and that also shows in your writing - istg one day i will probably have “perpetual boredom” tattooed on my forehead don’t ask why that description of sehun will NEVER fail to make me chuckle!! you deserve all the love and happiness in the world and so much more uwu

@boosoonhao 💌 i know i keep repeating myself when it comes to you aj, but i really have no idea what else to say. i wrote it in the letter, i expressed myself way too often in the tags whenever i reblog your works, yet here i am doing it again (and maybe even more exaggerated than usual, we’ll see): aj, you are one of the most talented writers i’ve ever known and one of the greatest blessings in the community. there, i said it and i mean it! you are one of the very few i know that doesn’t shy away from fantasy-ish aus and executes them brilliantly. the way you have with your words is just fascinating and i find myself sometimes jotting down what you wrote for future references? but writing skills aside, you are a beautiful and kind person and up to this day the key chain you sent me is still intact. aj, thank you for blessing me, blessing everyone with your talent and general existence. 

@byuncaa 💌 bianca you smol soft bean you have my heart right there and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we get to talk more in the future uwu you’re such a cute soul gaaah it really makes me wanna send you all the soft memes i possibly own anywaY i hope you just stay as bubbly and bright and adorable as you are uwu

@cafechenle 💌 hani, kaito kid, i don’t know whether you’re still alive on tumblr or not but idc i’m still writing this to you anyway. you’re one of the first people i’ve met on this site and gOD i remember it as clear as day where i was so close to blocking you within the first few minutes of knowing you. yes, i’m talking about the entire mansae chan era discourse. anyway, we don’t talk as much but i hope you’re doing fine my wee lil silver boys supremacist!!

@changbeanbag 💌 landon, we literally just met yesterday but as you can see, i don’t care and i’m writing you a wee lil note anyway. you, my dude, radiate uwu energy and ngl i may have squealed when i saw your tags in the ask i sent you teehee - i hope we get to talk more in the future (that is, if school hasn’t killed me until then-)

@changbiinn 💌 kirra, you beautiful, blue haired visual goddess who has everyone else (including jisung yES I WENT THAT FAR) looking like a mere smurf and found dead in a ditch! i didn’t think i’d get an instant dm from that one inkigayo shitpost but you went ahead and proved me wrong sjljlks timezones fuck me up all the time but nonetheless i hope we get to interact a lil more and gET ENOUGH SLEEP OR ELSE

@cheolsjigyu 💌 MISS VAN NO I DID NOT FORGET YOU HEAR ME OUT. first of all, how could i forget you when you provided me all the great twt aus and the wild chats we had back in?? sometime early last year i guess. it’s been a very long time since we talked and i’m sorry i couldn’t reach out to you any time sooner due to school and the usual stuff (also, uh, i’m not the biggest friend of tumblr dms and barely check any messages there so there’s that too) believe it or not i still wheeze whenever i think of your fic swing baby because goddamnit that jyp song was one repeat for a good week. anyway, i hope you’ve been doing well and are not at the brink of near death like me uwu

@cherryxiu 💌 gran, frank, satan incarnate, whatever else i call you. you may fuck me up with the pcy i’ve never asked for but i hope you know you have a soft spot in my heart (i’ll never say that out loud again tho so see it as a one of a time thing). you’re my fav minseok stan and while i wouldn't necessarily jump off a cliff for you, i’d jump with you uwu anyway, aggressively refrain from sending me more pcy content i’m just trying to live an easy life here. but knowing you, you’ll definitely pretend as if that last part was never written so why do i even bother-

@chillihansol 💌 hanni my child!!! i hope you’re doing fine, aren’t as stressed anymore and have received the love you deserve and more!!! i still remember when i was highkey intimidated by you so i went on anon but then somehow you were startled by my lil threat and then i became your mom anon? funny that has changed over the time skldj hanni, i don’t regret ever going on anon for you and you’re an amazingly talented writer. i already said it once but i’ll say it again: guns n roses was the first svt fic i read on tumblr and just thank you for creating that piece uwu

@choco-seventeen 💌 miss choco, i almost tumbled down the nonexistent stairs in my apartment when i saw you ??? sliding into my dms ??? and then reading my word vomits ??? and then you followed me ??? and everything that followed after ??? i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me and up to today it remains a mystery to me ngl. we love a talented, kindhearted, fantastic, stunning, visual writing queen who is ofc the right person to love thanks to the avatar discourse she started!!! choco, keep on enlightening everyone’s life with your mere existence, the tags you put in your reblogs that make me smile and of course, wonderful stories <33

@custardheart 💌 taylor, i don’t think we have ever talked (unless you approached me on anon maybe then maybe yes??) but i just wanted to thank you for blessing my notifications. you’ve been supporting me / on my notifs for quite a long time - may i say you’re like one of the first followers i had when i first started out? THAT’S how long you’ve been here already and i can’t thank you enough <333 (please don’t ask me why i know that but goddamn every time i see that jeonghan profile picture i already know it’s you djklj)

@dinoshaur 💌 sha! lee! i know we barely talk to each other but i just wanted to use this opportunity to thank you for making some of my days with your astounding fics!! one of my favorite works from you will always be “flower crown prince” because you have NO idea how much i struggle with finding seungkwan fics dkkjljlk i’m sorry i didn’t submit anything for the lfw challenge i really tried to make it but you know, life problems happened whoops. i wish you all the happiness and inspiration and love from chan himself you gifted angel uwu

@forevershua 💌 dear fossil mother ryan, i can’t believe i internally pronounced your name wrongly for pretty much half a year knowing you. please forgive me. okay, but all seriousness aside, you’re one of the closest people from this site!! i really love you so so much though i can’t guarantee that i love you as much as you love jeonghan more than shua; i still shed tears whenever i pull out your two postcards - especially the minghao one; i think i suffered from mild heart palpitations when i got it in the mail (and still do). i hope we get to meet this year and possibly clown rat together and just stay the somewhat sane person left in the gc <33 p.s HOW DO YOU FUNCTION WITHOUT A FRIDGE I STILL CANT BELIEVE THAT

@gamerwoo 💌 rocket, you’re always active when it’s the ungodly hour where i live and it has happened more often that i stay awake because of you. not only do i have loads of stuff i can queue from you (teehee) you recently started posting stories again and the ones you hammered out lately just??? do things to me??? for real though do you have sadistic tendencies or somethin because you posted TWO (2) nsfw stories that I indulged at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. aside from that minghao and junmyeon stuff, uuuh, i finally got around to finish your ghoul au which i completely adore!! i’m looking forward to your upcoming works uwu and hope you get all the positivity and good vibes only uwu (p.s i have to confess: my dumb ass seriously thought the “woo” in your url referred to jungwoo and for some good weeks i thought you ult jungwoo rIP ME)

@hearttoshu 💌 jess, i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me because i’m gonna be honest here, i was scared of you skaljdlkjslkj please i don’t even know why, you seemed very intimidating but i was proven wrong in an instant!! you are one super soft bean with hq gifs and a love for jun and shua that reaches up to infinity and beyond!! your tags always get the best out of me and i’m really grateful for having you in my life uwuwuwuwu 

 @jejublr 💌 ew rat, you’re finally adulting. jokes aside, you were the first victim to fall under my disastrous typo errors and may i say that i’m just simply ICONIC for forever slapping that legendary nickname on you uwu nat who?? we only know RAT. you’re the one person i can always run to when more serious issues are bugging me since i guess you can relate the most to my personal dilemmas and i just wanted to thank you for being there for me <33 that, and for keeping gran somewhat at bay. i hope we get to meet up this summer where i’ll feed you with lots of chocolate while teasing ryan about her biasing jeonghan LMAO and just like most people from the gc, you’re one of the first close mutuals i’ve made. in a way, you could say you’ve been with me here since day 1 (almost) xx

@jin-hua 💌 mayo / mango / mayo that tastes like mangoes / idk i bet i have misspelled your names approximately 993828 times in 937987 different variations but guess what? i still love u to death uwu i love me a fitness queen, a visual goddess not even god himself could ever and i’m so so glad that you exist in my life <333 i know i promised you a crackhead message but when i think about it there’s not really a lot to say that’s out of place when it comes to you?? you’re an angel uwuwu the light of my life frank could NEVER

@justsomekpopstuff 💌 jj it is i, your #1 supporter!! since you’re also part of the nug club gc from the beginning on, you have an extra special place in my heart <3 jj, i love how supportive you are and i don’t think you realize that i cherish you to the moon and back and that times 903809. i love how you get so fired up about your hockey team and like to gush and suffer from the wrath of Joshua hong and i hope you’ll stay eternally happy uwu that, and dRINK LESS COFFEE ISTG

@lxveille 💌 veille we’ve never interacted a lot but i just wanted to let you know that i admire you a LOT. i haven’t got around to read more of your works lately, but i do have a favorite fic that i still clearly remember. okay, that’s a lie, i have several that left a strong memory. but let’s say, if i had to reduce it to one fic, it’d be the 100wtsily dystopian au with jihoon and 66 & 70! you’re one of the very few writers who hit the dystopian genre spot on and you truly are an inspiration. seriously, thank you a lot veile xx

@middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich 💌 LOOK, i didn’t even know you changed blogs or something and i’m so eternally sorry that it took me ages to figure that out! (RIP me) you’re one of the first followers i had if i recall correctly (i’m pretty positive of that) and i just wanted to thank you for sticking with me so long uwuwuuwwu i wish you all the happiness bb <3

@multi-yeol 💌 haaaa we’ve only known each other since a day or something but i’m really glad we did!!!! honestly, that Loona song sorter is harder than any of the german exams i had and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we’ll talk more in the future bub!!!

@oatmealupdates 💌 lynna, you too are one of the first followers on my blog i’m wheEZING you’ve been here for so long sdlkjlkj thank you for your support and your comments under the fics always make my day i swear!! i’ve also noticed that you haven’t been that active as you used to be (maybe it’s just me idk sometimes my dash is kinda wacky) but all in all i hope you’re doing good!! if you ever need to talk to someone, you can always hmu <33

@queerjunhui 💌 vane, ngl, you really scared me at first. i was really intimidated by your for reasons i can’t even explain and i always thought you were out of my league sdkljlk i think we started talking since the cyzj thing and you’re one of the funniest and nicest people i’ve met so far on tumblr, seriously! your content - be it from your shitposts to mindless thoughts like the entire indirects to j*** * yES I STILL RECALL THEM - you always manage to make my day brighter whenever i see you on my dash. i wish you all the happiness and hope you’re doing good uwu

@seungcheolsbodyharness 💌 katey, sis i still think about that criminal seokmin and the entire au we made up - from FBI agent cheol to incompetent intern vernon and all that jazz. besides the fact that your url is a pure 10/10 as well as your other URLs, you’re such a nice person and i really enjoy your presence - be it in the form of reblogs of any kind of thing to the comments you occasionally leave and don’t get me started on the aSKS; katey, i’m so glad to have met you on this site!!! uwu

@softwonwoo 💌 jian darling!! honestly, i have no idea how you even know of my existence. just like pretty much everyone else i’ve tagged here you kinda had that intimidating aura?? but then the more i talked to you somehow, the more i was proven wrong and you’re such a sweet pea i can’t- also, i’m glad that i found someone who can agree with me when it comes to chungha dsakjlskj pls stay healthy, stay happy jian!!

@swyllh 💌 sara, i don’t think we have ever had a proper conversation, but i just wanted to give you my appreciation. you are one of the most underrated writers within the community yet you always give your best when it comes to your writing and honestly, i really admire you. i haven’t found the time to read your interactive fic yet (i keep pushing that back i am so sorry but i’ll get to that one day) and one of the fics that i absolutely adore is that one end of the world fic with chan, as well as the vernon collab with sha!! i really hope you’ll get the recognition and love you deserve you gifted writer !!

@tonicandjins 💌 faye my snowflake, i haven’t seen you around lately but if you read this, i hope everything’s alright from your side! i’m quite sure i’ve already mentioned this to you but i’ll say it again. i will NEVER shut up about one and two small petals and will NEVER recover from it. another banger is that wonwoo fic with the printer- ugh, you’re such a talented, beautiful person and i truly wish you all the best. remember, don’t stress yourself and relax once in a while uwu

@yeolsmiling 💌 angie hi!! i legit only sent you one (1) ask so i really don’t have much to say so far unless i wanna repeat myself lMAO one day, i aspire to purely emit soft energy for yeol but i doubt that day will ever come. i hope we get to talk more in the future you soft bear <33

honeybunch anon 💌 honeybunch, i hope you’re doing well! i still remember that i called you that when you slipped into my asks and gushed about that one mingyu fic up to this day i’m still flattered and eternally grateful that you’re still here uwu thank you for your support and making my day <33

fromis anon 💌 idk if you’ll ever read this but i miss you uwu i hope you’re doing fine and just a quick update from my side: i still haven’t found a bias yet uGH 

sugarpie / tulip anon 💌 you seem like such a cool person i’m really glad you stopped by in my inbox thank you for hitting me up uwu since i have no clue who you are and since i’m a dumbass, i’m can only rely on you messaging me jslkdj

none of the letters are proofread i am so sorry

[milo-gin]

my art journey rant - 1/(?)

Making use of the lack of sleep I have, I want to write so to relieve myself, and hopefully release some feelings out of my system which are consuming me right now

idk why im making this, so don’t take me too seriously… if you read through this good, and if don’t it’s okay too

this past week I decided to make a bold move on a platform that has seen me grow over the years, I now realize the system has changed so much in it from when I started to use it…

I attempted to separate my accounts in order for my art to be taken more seriously, but hey it’s going even worse than I thought. I have knowledge in the way media platforms work, they use certain algorithms which pretty much factor who, what, when and where are things seen…

I really make an effort on whatever I post, which is why I don’t post as often, also because I feel like i’m different than most artist who are quick and very confident about what they’re doing, or at least is what they portray cuz I see no one talking about how they feel (except for Aokamei who is very open and expresses exactly what she’s feeling)

There’s a stigma, even when there’s a lot of effort being made on informing people about being depressed.

Before you judge and roll your eyes to think “oh another poor human, trying to gain attention” my blog isn’t even big, I have been medically diagnosed with “chronic depression” but it’s been really hard to cope this past months

I’ve gone up hill and down too many times over these past few months, and years… and I really want to crawl out of it, but my surroundings just make it really hard

For the most part, I hang out with people who’s skills are unbelievable, they’re so good at what they do… I know it’s pretty shitty to feel this way but I fucking hate seeing all of their success shoved into my face… like “oh look at my boyfriend, he’s so bae” hashtag whatever guy crush idk what day, and they’re landing amazing jobs, and doing all this events, and I just fucking dont want to know how good their life is cuz I cant help but see my empty hands, filled with the scars of my own bitch ass tears…

Some people just have it better than others, it’s the way it is. I’ve seen art be a field where you don’t necessarily rely on skill but on luck, and maybe a little bit of “mainstream” into what you do…

The faster you get a piece out about that new photo or whatever is happening the better right (?) that’s what I thought, I had an entire week grind to prove it, and IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT

If you ask anyone who’s big, they dont even know how they got there…they’ll tell you it happened overnight with that one thing they did and then “kazoooo” everything was solved… so based on their answer,

ITS A GOD DAMN STRIKE OF LUCK!!

(man im a piece of shit… I can’t even believe im getting naked like this in here)

The right palette, beautiful things, women, plants, animals, man Im fucking so unaccomplished on every single thing of those, I have no aesthetic for what’s beautiful.

Im really tired of trying so hard sleeping until 5 am to wake up at 10 am or until 8 pm, my sleeping schedule is proof of how much I’ve been burning myself out for the sake of being seen, and maybe gaining some recognition, that I probably don’t deserve.

I ain’t saying none of you amazing ones who I admire don’t go through this exact bullshit, I am well aware you do…

I personally just lack the strenght, I’ve tried killing myself a lot of times cuz of this, I am a pussy at life, I fucking suck

Im a piece of shit worthless human being with bitch mentality, but fuck I try to be honest about myself and how i’m going about life… Im really tired I think I’m gonna give up art once and for all(watch me not do this at all)

Gaaah i want to tear my brain of and shut it down how the fuck am I like this all the time, I want to change and no matter how hard I try my fucking ass just doesn’t chill

I wish we could have a break from ourselves and our emotions.

I know I’m a bitch for complaining, I know it… but idk man this is just how I feel

Sympathy is unnecessary, so don’t worry much but, I just want to stop thinking and stressing out so much>

THERES SO MUCH PRESSURE

I just want to be happy, I HATE ART

I HATE IT SO SO SO MUCH

IT MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD ABOUT MYSELF

Im a nobody, i fucking hate this