#fwiw i love her a lot

[lurkiestvoid]

.

[silviakundera]

Haha I also used the dickless bore. I thought that only the two main characters came back didn't know he did as well. I still don't buy him ever being into her but that's just me I do wonder if he's going to try and kill her again. I do think Li Rong is treating him too well for my liking she should at least treat hit similarly or worse than she treated ML I want to see wet paper towel non stop suffer.

on one hand, imo a SRQ who is heartless doesn't work for the story the writer is trying to share with us. On the other hand, it's totally ok to decide to be a full-time hater towards a minor character, just because it's fun. I support haters! 🎉 \o/ 🎉

One thing that I think is relevant when comparing LR's reactions: if PWX had killed her, the motive would have been as part of his mission to have his childhood love Qin Zhenzhen's son become the next emperor. (Remember, he came over to threaten her life over that right before she died and called his ex Zhenzhen lmao) THE AUDACITY. In contrast, LR is viewing her murder at SRQ's hands as part of the revenge plan for the Su family's execution.

Some passages of Li Rong's POV:

After a few moments, she whispered: “Where did the scent on you come from?”

“If I say it, you might be upset.” Pei Wenxuan’s eyes had a hint of gloating at others’ pain.

Li Rong thought for a while and frowned, “Su Rongqing?”

“Yes.”

...Li Rong said nothing. She blankly stared into the fire.

Pei Wenxuan turned the fish over and looked at her with a smile, seemingly quite happy. Li Rong found that he had a fearless, unabashed look of enjoying a good play and couldn’t help but be a little fazed.

She believed everything Pei Wenxuan said.

---

Su Rongqing was someone that she saved with her own hands.

That year, Prince Su rebelled, and Su Rongqing’s elder brother spoke up for Prince Su. Later on, he was falsely accused of colluding with Prince Su, implicating the Su clan with treason.

At that time, Li Chuan was so furious that he fainted. He put the entire Su clan in prison without going through the Joint Trial of Three Divisions first and put the men to death and the women into exile. She disagreed with this decision and rushed to beg Li Chuan before the Su clan received their sentence. After being subjected to ten planks, with Pei Wenxuan’s intervention, she was finally able to ask for amnesty for the Su clan.

Even if the death sentences can be forgone, it was impossible to escape punishment while still alive. Even though the men of the Su clan could live, they would be subjected to castration. The others couldn’t bear the humiliation, so they all committed suicide in prison. When she arrived, there was only one man “desperate for life and afraid of death” left among the men of the Su clan, Su Rongqing.

At that time, she had told Su Rongqing that she saved him without the intention of asking him to repay her. She could give him silver and a position, so that he could continue to live a good life in the future.

Back then, she didn’t have any special feelings towards Su Rongqing. It was just that he had saved her before, so after he took care of her, bit by bit, she felt grateful, and…vague sentiments towards him.

For the most part, she sought to save the Su clan for Li Chuan and her own conscience. The Su clan was a prominent, noble family. It was difficult for her to sit back and watch if they died in such an ambiguous manner.

At that time, Su Rongqing refused to go.

...It wasn’t that she had never thought that Su Rongqing would not take revenge on her. After all, it was Li Chuan who ordered all the men of the Su clan to be beheaded and exiled all the female family members. It was impossible for anyone to forget this blood feud, let alone the formerly first and most outstanding gongzi of that year?

For so many years, she had never dared to give him real authority, observing him and guarding against him while still trying to help him live a better life. She couldn’t actually kill him because of her own conscience, but she couldn’t actually trust him and give him power.

In the end, he still decided to act. He killed her first, then successfully took her authority in the name of eliminating Pei Wenxuan. If she guessed correctly, he would not leave with the advisors. Instead, he would borrow the excuse of taking revenge for her and enforcing the will of the people to join forces with the Empress, assist Li Xin in ascension, and fight to the death against the remnants of Pei Wenxuan’s faction.

...

She had anticipated this possibility from the moment she took Su Rongqing in, but she couldn’t help feeling a bit regretful when it actually happened.

[lemonlimebitcoin]

I found your blog today after reading the post about Homestuck reading Homestuck and I related so hard to it.

Tavros is my favorite character in Homestuck, as a goofy nerd I relate to the goofy nerd troll. Karkat and Nepeta are my second faves because I see myself in all three.

That's all, your blog's very cool and awesome. Hope you have a good day.

Hi! ^_^ Thanks so much for saying so. I'm glad that post resonated with you - homestuck (the story) is good!

I don't really see a lot of Tavros stuff that I find cute or engaging/interesting so I apologize for his absence. I hope you enjoy my yuriposting in spite of it! :33

[un-local]

me, personally? discovery of new music. just found the sample to a one of my favorite songs from a few years ago. this week has sucked, but every time i listen to it, i feel like the burden is lifted a little.

my compulsive need to make stories, too probably. (not necessarily write them or finish them, but work them out like a puzzle in my head. i don't put pressure on myself to finish anything. i think it's mostly about the satisfaction of figuring out how the piece things together, which i imagine transfers over many hobbies)

and ive finally reached the point where a good savory meal is something i can truly enjoy.

ive spent a long time at my wits end. i dont really know what keeps me going anymore, but ive kind of come to peace with that. once i realized i didn't need to have a reason, that the only thing i had to do was get up the next day, it was almost... a relief? i dunno.

sending love, internet stranger. may tomorrow bring you at least one small respite

I'm very sorry to ask something like this, I've really been struggling with this question, and I wanted to ask the combined wisdom of the people on this site

I would like to know why you keep going, and what drives you to keep living. I know there are a lot of reasons to stay alive and enjoy life, I can think of a few that personally resonate with me, but I really want to know what your reasons are

You do not have to comment on this if that's too big of an ask, and I'm very sorry for asking something like this, I really need someone's help, I feel like I don't have much purpose

Also if I may ask, please don't post any suicidal ideation in the comments of this post, I really can't handle something like that right now

[tama-gucci]

My fiancé literally keeps me sane. I have my parents’ short temper but my partner?? The most patient human on earth. An angel. A sweetie pie with kindness and empathy in his soul while I am jagged and polite and can tolerate a lot but once the threshold is crossed, I am so jagged and ready to brace myself for an impact of my own making but he reminds me gently to take a step back to put down the glass shards and step back and breathe and give things more space and time. I do not need to wring the neck of my own impatience.

[blumineck]

hi! you're great I love your work! I've got a weirdly specific archery question and thought I'd send it to you in case you'd find it fun to have a crack at

say you're an expert archer originally from Vietnam sometime in the late bronze age. say you're a super duper expert archer because it turns out you're immortal, and so you do your archery across Eurasia through the first millennium BCE and the first millennium CE and into the age where gunpowder weapons are evolving into cannons. that's a long time to be alive and you do lots of hunting and fighting with all kinds of bows and shooting styles, especially war archery on horseback. then you're out of the picture for a while, let's say you're peacefully sleeping for a handful of centuries. (this is about Quynh from The Old Guard who alas was not peacefully sleeping)

all of a sudden you blink and you've gone from the era where firearms were just starting to develop and maybe with this new flintlock thing guns could eventually get good enough to rival a bow and arrows— bam, now you're in the 21st century. what kinds of modern archery tech would you be most excited to try out? what would you think of a compound bow? Olympic style archery? plastic fletching?? how about the modern reproductions of what are now considered historical bows and shooting styles? is there anything about 21st century archery that you'd want to rant about at length? other opinions about these newfangled takes on your trusty old bow and arrows you care to share?

This is a phenomenal question, and thank you for asking it! Here’s my 2 cents:

The thing about modern archery is that for the most part, modern bows are designed to make it easier to be accurate, to the stage that modern target accuracy is probably better than it’s ever been historically.

BUT, if we assume Quynh is capable of feats of archery that match the level of melee combat skill that e.g. Andy has, then she doesn’t NEED it to be easier to be accurate.

My guess is that someone like her would actually find most modern archery developments needlessly slow and awkward. Compound bows and Olympic recurves are NOT designed for instinctive, fast shooting, and would probably feel quite restrictive once she got over how easy they made accuracy.

BUT, I imagine she would be blown away by the range and arrow speed that modern bows can generate, and there are some recurves (and at least one compound bow), that have been designed to make use of the efficiency of modern materials and bow design, while still allowing traditional shooting styles, and those, THOSE are something an ancient immortal archer might fall in love with! (FWIW, my own go-to is a horsebow made with carbon-fibre limbs and a modern limb profile, and for impact energy it can match some traditional bows with a draw weight that’s 50% greater. The Oneida eagle compound could trump that).

So yeah, it might take her a bit, but once she gets her hands on the right equipment, she’d be (even more) TERRIFYING!

[fuckyeahisawthat]

FWIW my take is that (movie) Jessica conceiving Paul as a boy was 0% about wanting to birth the Kwisatz Haderach. It was like 87% about the fact that she loved Leto and Leto wanted a son. And the rest was about protecting her child from becoming the future Mrs. Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen. (Either specifically, if she knew about the planned betrothal, or generally, if she didn't.) Both of these are a rebellion against the Bene Gesserit, in favor of her partner and her child.

I don't know if she would have done it if Leto hadn't wanted a son. His wanting it protected her own designs. She could say she did it for love and it wouldn't be a lie.

It is undoubtedly better to be born a boy in the space feudalism world of the Great Houses. Her son would be the heir to the considerable power of House Atreides. Her daughter would only ever be the wife of an heir. At best, wielding power from the shadows, by controlling her husband; at worst, nothing more than a bargaining chip in the power plays between the Great Houses and the Bene Gesserit. Even the daughter of the Emperor has to rely on marriage to secure her access to power in the Imperium.

Jessica could have had the son Leto wanted and then gone on to have one or more daughters as she'd been instructed. Instead she conceives no children at all for, in the movie-verse, probably close to 20 years, not getting pregnant with an Atreides child again until almost the last moment it's possible. (And that, too, is about love I think, about having one last connection to her partner to hold onto, even as they feel the trap closing around them. Would she have allowed herself to conceive Alia in other circumstances? I don't think so.) So at some point, there must have been a conscious choice to not only not bear only daughters, but bear no daughters at all.

(How often does she think about how fucking lucky she got? She could have ended up with someone a lot worse than Leto Atreides. Plenty of her fellow sisters have, and they just have to fucking deal with it. But maybe her child doesn't.)

Maybe it's only when Paul starts growing up that it becomes clear there is something uncanny about him, and that's when she starts thinking Hmmm. Maybe she starts training him in Bene Gesserit skills that she's been taught boys can't master, except he is mastering them, and he's been having these dreams...

Of course from his perspective, it looks like she planned this from the beginning, that she wanted a chess piece in a thousands-year-long plan instead of a son. But in her mind, that's exactly what she was trying to protect him from. And in saving him from one doom she steered him straight into another.

[darsynia]

Oh no, story ideas are my Roman Empire! I'll limit myself to 3 and boost this for others to send some too!

During the clean-up of NYC, Steve is helping out, jumping from team to team so his presence doesn't distract. He spends three days on each team, but after three team hops he notices that there's a young woman who also moves from team to team--seemingly to avoid him. Who is she? Is she afraid of or angry at him? How can he fix it without making things worse? Leaving a damsel in distress is just not the Captain America way.

Steve finds out that the woman has feelings for is under suspicion as a possible undercover HYDRA operative at SHIELD. She weathered the Battle at the Triskelion and the collapse of the organization, meaning she'd be a very valuable operative if she is a spy. He goes alone to confront her at the black site she's been taken to.

It's up to you whether they were already dating, whether the accusation is true, and what happens next.

A storm at the Avengers Compound has completely destroyed the (frankly embarrassing) makeshift garden along the side of the building. Steve takes it on himself to find a local company to revitalize the space, and finds a chance at love there, too.

I am a joy-operated slot machine of ideas, always hit me up if you're stuck on something or want a quick suggestion!!

A call for short Steve x Reader prompts!

I'm trying to get back to both writing routine and tumblr, so...

My asks are open for short prompts/blurb ideas, for Steve Rogers x Reader (or Steve x OFC).

Requests for both director's cut stuff of my existing fics (here's my AO3 masterlist) and entirely new things are welcome!

Please note that I don't write dark!Steve or non-con, and am at my best in the realm of fluffy romance. You must be 18+ to send a prompt, minors DNI.

Reblogs welcome!

[bellakenobi]

Yuki Kaiou's Bachelorette Challenge

Ok so after a lot of thought, I decided to make a BC to find a life partner for Yuki!

Now, who's Yuki?

Yuki is the 5th generation heir of the Kaious legacy. She grew up in Riverview in the midst of her family wealth, and didn't know yet what she would want of life, but as a typical golden child of a rich family, she wants to do crime 🙄 She and her nuclear family moved out to Twinbrook searching for a fresh air, but Yuki doesn't feel like the town has anyone "worthy" of her... Hence the bachelorette challenge!

Traits: Hates children - Clumsy - Bookworm - Loves the heat - Clepto LTW: Become a Master Thief

Rules:

Vanilla sims only.

Young Adult sims. (I forgot to add that sorry x.x)

Sims of any gender, since Yuki is bisexual.

Human or witch sims only allowed.

No Irresistible trait.

CC allowed, but don't exagerate and please refrain from using high poly CC. If you send me a sim with any high poly item I will take the liberty to change it. Store content is encouraged, if you use it please link me the pieces (it will be provided by blams fwiw).

Please no custom sliders.

I have all EPs and SPs (yeah even Katy Perry), so feel free to dress up your sim with it!

Don't forget to introduce your sim with a short bio!

Upload you sim in .sim format, preferably with a .txt with links of the CC used. I will not accept sims in .sims3pack.

Deadline: October 31st, plenty of time, but could be extended if I don't get all the contestants in time. There are 8 slots available. To participate, you need to make a post introducing your sim and then send me an ask with the download link ☺️

Update Oct 11th: Closed for applications! Thank you so much to everyone who took an interest, I was really thinking this would flop lol

Contestants:

1- @berriespunches - Charlotte Lowery

2- @poisonfireleafs - Vina O'Brien

3- @gittessimsadventuresog - George Pistache

4- @evilmeanlesbian - Claudio Carrington

5- @meochicc - Alvira Romero

6- @aisquaredchoco - Yuji Katsuya

7- @simsmono - Leo Macclesfield

8- @simnichi-gaming - Edward Galiente

[columboposting]

I say this as a certified gwen cooper stan and defender and lover etc etc so if i see anyone in my replies coming for my girl its on sight. But it is honestly completely batshit insane to me the way seasons 1 and 2 of torchwood consistently do this thing where on-screen development or depiction of Jack and Ianto’s romantic relationship is directly preceded by a category five Gwen and Jack Unresolved Sexual Tension event. Like, Jack propositioning Ianto over Suzie’s corpse comes right after a scene where Jack and Gwen make moon eyes at each other from across the Hub; in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Jack only asks Ianto out on a date after a failed attempt to woo Gwen; in Reset, Martha’s conversation with Ianto about getting him and Jack a red UNIT hat comes after her convo with Gwen where both of them are like “man we must be the only two people in the world who havent been with Jack.” The obviously most insane example is in Something Borrowed when Gwen and Jack dance together extremely intimately AT GWEN’S WEDDING and Ianto literally has to WALK OVER to take Jack off Gwen’s hands. (If I missed any more examples please tell me because i feel like I did. Also Fwiw not every Janto scene follows a Gwack UST event, though by the same turn not every Gwack UST event is followed by a Janto scene. But I think there’s enough here for it to be a pattern.). So there’s this consistent thing where we see Jack make moon eyes at Gwen and only going to Ianto after this fails to result in anything substantial. This creates the impression that Ianto is Jack’s second choice for a partner, and that Gwen is his first.

You could argue that this pattern constitutes Jack choosing Ianto over Gwen, but… I dunno. The obstacle that consistently stops Jack from pursuing Gwen further in the scenes I’m talking about is not his commitment to Ianto but Gwen’s commitment to Rhys. (If you want an example of TW S1/2 actually showing Jack choose Ianto over Gwen I’d point at End of Days: Gwen metaphorically awakens Jack by kissing his corpse (he doesn’t seem to object but Gwen is obviously the one initiating), and then Jack immediately runs off to make out with Ianto. Compare with, say, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, where Jack tries to initiate with Gwen, gets cock-blocked by her engagement ring, and subsequently asks Ianto out. You see the difference?

To set my cards on the table I am obsessed with Jack and Gwen’s straightbait situationship, and I think it is completely fine and cool and entertaining, actually, for Jack and Gwen UST to coexist with canon Janto (Jack is from the Free Love century and has two hands; meanwhile it baffles me that people get on Gwen’s ass for the crime of (checks notes) being into Jack Fucking Harkness, as if being attracted to him is not completely normal and understandable), HOWEVER the show’s scene to scene editing CONSISTENTLY gives the impression that Jack would choose Gwen over Ianto if given the opportunity. So for all that I think a lot of Gwen hate is like, people being unfairly mad at Gwen for “getting in the way” of a gay ship that, per the show’s writing, she never actively interferes with or disapproves of and is generally shown to support, the way the show uses the language of editing does actually kind of value Jack’s hypothetical straight relationship with Gwen over his existing gay relationship with Ianto in a way that frankly fucking sucks. I have no idea whether or not this was intentional or whose fault it is (if I had to blame anyone I’d blame the writers involved and the editors involved, but tv production is complicated and this is a systemic problem that would be difficult to identify if you’re only looking at one episode at a time) but whatever happened its like. A lowkey homophobic element of an otherwise mostly queer-friendly show. Literally what were they thinking.

[thedeafprophet]

HA YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD (talking about accents and speech patterns)

SO Josephine was actually pretty young when she was taken out of liverpool, around 10, so i don't know how much of the accent actually stuck with her. However im quite fond of the liverpool area accent (my housemates family are from there) so i like to imagine at least some of it stuck with her despite not living there for many years. and i also think its really... cute? that its close to a scottish accent because Josephine's husband is scottish <3 I just think theres Something About That....

Alex has a pretty strong working class accent still, and tends to use a lot of contractions in his speech. Its not one thats changed very much over time, though i imagine in the past 4 years he's probably picked up some more of the inflections of whatever has developed in neathy London due to who he tends to hang out with.

Jamie in particular is notable when it comes to their accent and speech. Jamie activly worked in their late teens/young adulthood to modify their accent and speech pattern in order to fit more among the upper class, always having the desire to aim for more. They actually have a touch of a parisian lit to their voice, due to the person they mostly learned from (their ex) being the one they copied the most, and she was originally from Paris.

What *part* of England is the trio from? (Jamie, josephine and alex)

*cracks my alternative history knuckles*

SO. based off of this census info from 1861,

Liverpool, Macchester, and Birmingham were the most populus cities after London, and while a fraction of the population each, are likely what took over as the main cities on the surface.

Josephine specifically is from a small portside community of Liverpool, which historically has one of the oldest black communities in England, and Europe in general.

Alex i actually dont have a specific place from, but I always imagined him originally being born in a smaller town. Him and his sister kinda ended up being shifted from place to place as children, and he doesn't really consider himself specifically 'from' anywhere.

Jamie was born in Manchester, and spent their earlier years in an orphanage there, before being moved to the industrial school sometime after an illness came through the orphanage that caused a fair bit of destablization of the place.

I imagine the school being outside of the city proper though nearby, though i don't have an exact location. At their respective time, the trio all ended up there. Following their leaving from the school i imagine the trio spent some time going between cities, but spent most of their late teenage/young adult years in Birmingham.

[melrosing]

What do you think about the idea of Cersei and Brienne as Jaime’s Madonna/Whore dichotomy?

talked about this a bit before but I think actually the Madonna-whore dichotomy is widely misinterpreted, and I think even by me to some degree? so pasting the actual definition of the 'complex' below directly from wikipedia.

In psychoanalytic literature, a Madonna–whore complex (also called a Madonna–mistress complex) is the inability to maintain sexual arousal within a committed and loving relationship. First identified by Sigmund Freud, who called it psychic impotence, it is a psychological complex that is said to develop in men who see women as either saintly Madonnas or debased whores. Men with this complex desire a sexual partner who has been degraded (whore) while they cannot desire the respected partner (Madonna). Freud wrote, "Where such men love they have no desire, and where they desire they cannot love." X (emphasis mine)

so rather than being simply a narrative contrast between 'the good virgin and the evil whore' (an interpretation which I broke down here a couple of years ago, to argue that a contrast on the basis of their sexual experience was not an intentional dichotomy within the narrative), the complex specifically denotes that the man feel a kind of asexual admiration for the former and a lowly lust for the latter; he can only love the madonna, but he can only desire the whore. most other sources corroborate this definition.

and this does not apply to the Cersei/Jaime/Brienne trio. Jaime and Brienne's relationship is not, and has never been chaste. Jaime has been staring at her body since the first page of his POV, and she has been looking right back at his. they've bathed together, gotten aroused by it, and then gotten aroused reflecting back on it (or in Jaime's case, thought back on it when aroused lol). their first fight together deliberately references a first night together, and intentionally demonstrates their physical chemistry. there's a lot that's sweetly courtly about jb but it is not an asexual romance: the physical, sexual component is as significant as the courtly.

meanwhile: Jaime has never struggled to love and desire Cersei simultaneously. famously: "the things I do for love". Jaime has loved Cersei since they were born, has been as close to her as anyone ever has been or will be, and has desired her plenty. his desire falls away when he falls out of love with her. there is no split: he loved and desired her once, now he loves and desires her less.

fwiw i think Jaime will never stop loving Cersei, even if he lives to 100. it will just take on a new form, and in their case probably some bizarre mix of 'twin sister who i will always feel some unbreakable bond with' and 'irreconcileable-differences-mother-of-my-children ex that I was in a relationship with since we were teens'. the love is always going to be there, but I don't think the desire will. that also contradicts the dichotomy, which argues that the man feels incapable of love for the whore, rather only desire.

so idk if we're going to use the dichotomy to the letter, it simply doesn't apply. if we're talking about Jaime loving Brienne for her 'purity' and hating Cersei as 'damaged goods', then talked about that in the answer linked above.

[nachosncheezies]

Mulder, Scully, and "sibling vibes"

So a few times lately I've remarked on the sibling energy I see in early Mulder & Scully, and I think perhaps it's misunderstood. I jokingly self-identified not long ago as "not a romo, not a noromo, but a secret third thing (delighted they ended up together but wishes the whole kiss kiss kiiiiiss! thing wasn't dominant forever and always)" This applies to all my fandoms fwiw. For me the friendships generally trump everything.

The other day I added this (among some other rambling) to one of @randomfoggytiger's excellent posts about Mulder and women:

To me, these two start out as best friends, almost a "sibling" relationship at first: Mulder has been looking for Samantha, "walking into that room" everyday for many more years of his life than he wasn't, and here comes this precocious, punchy little woman who says she's looking forward to being around him. She plays with him in the rain, she laughs at him, teases him and calls him "sucker", she listens to him and is eager to learn everything he can teach her. They squabble, but always stick together. She stands next to him with her little foot stuck stubbornly out to the side and her arms folded, or her little hands on her little hips, always exuding an attitude that's surprisingly large for her little body. When he looks at her it's at the top of her head. She's even the same age as Samantha. When she panics or gets scared she turns to him, and he wraps her in a blanket and tells her stories. I know it is often interpreted as flirting, but if you were to age them down, it could just as easily be a big brother who adores his little sister and a little sister who thinks her big brother hung the moon. My personal feeling is, it would be almost impossible for him not to notice commonalities between Scully and Samantha. Perhaps that's partly why he's so comfortable sharing Samantha's story with her.

To clarify, I don't think either saw the other as an actual or replacement sibling, and I don't see it as something that is remotely incompatible or icky regardless of where they ended up. Love's a lot of things and it can change and be all of it or none of it at once.

Not a person, but a pattern

Mulder and Scully were thrown together and immediately flung themselves about as far from home as you could get without crossing an ocean, at a time when there was no internet and a long distance phone call cost a million billion dollars (adjusted for inflation)(facetious). This is more than just long hours doing stakeouts or interviewing witnesses or writing profiles or joining sting operations or whatever it is that average partners (especially green-ass newbies from Quantico) might presumably be doing. They might as well have been at sea. They'd known each other for maybe a week and suddenly had to learn to not just work together but to live together, being each other's only company and support system, etc.

Watching the way they interact particularly during the pilot could be (and it seems almost always is) interpreted as crushes and flirting. I see that too, but I'm gonna toss that aside for a sec and ask you to imagine they are children, or at the very least that they're not looking to date (other people have written some very good posts about sex not being that important to them ever, or how they use it for self-flagellation (him) or rebellion (her) etc. And as fun as fanfic is, I agree with that take. For all their smouldering - both individually and together - they're remarkably sexless. But I digress. Just imagine that the search for a date or the possibility of sex is not part of the equation at this stage.)

They're both SO influenced and informed by the patterns they've been living all the way since childhood, as most of us are.

Scully is used to following strong male personalities, living to impress her dad, being a kid sister to a man who has strong opinions about how the world is or ought to be. She's extremely capable but very young for her long list of credentials (she's presumably gone from school to school to school without much lived experience), and they give her her very first field assignment with Fox Mulder. She's heard a lot about him. She's looking forward to working with him. This is probably nothing at all like what she expected when she went to Quantico, but she wants to distinguish herself so she'll go where she's asked and do her Very Best Job at it. But he immediately absconds with her and now she's doing something fun and new, and this man they've assigned her to is quirky and weird and possibly just bat-crap crazy, but in between it all he's incredibly intelligent and he's showing her the ropes and teaching her new things and she's just so excited to be here.

Mulder had to grow up way too fast, aged 12, and maybe suffered a sort of arrested development in that sense. He was once a big brother to a girl who was 8 years old and probably a bit of a brat, as precocious 8 year olds often are (I mean the first time we actually see her she called him a buttmunch and screamed in his face because she didn't get her way). They've sent him a partner who is a remarkable overachiever; she's a biophysicist and medical doctor, a Quantico graduate, and all under age 30. Her credentials include rewriting Einstein and her job responsibilities include "tattle tale". She's gonna challenge him at every turn, but she's green and earnest enough to want his to learn from his experience. She's following him and she's hanging on his every word and she's laughing at and with him. She asks a lot of questions and openly enjoys just being there with him, just being a part of it all.

Age them down 20 years and they could just be two kids playing in the woods and the rain. That doesn't mean they see their siblings in each other, but... to me, it doesn't not mean that either. It's patterns they've carried with them their whole lives. What I'm getting at is that that sort of sibling push-and-pull would be an extremely comfortable and familiar dynamic for them both to slip into, especially considering their isolation, and it's one which also lends itself to quick and easy affection. It's not the predominant feature of their friendship, but it's a starting place, and it ripples forward across time. (Imo it also informs the lack of romance for a number of years.)

The sibling vibes fade into the background after a few episodes (although I see shades of it popping up here and there through at least Darkness Falls), and it transforms into what becomes an easy, fast friendship, and then a deep, ride-or-die best friendship.

Of course, a twisted version of it is brutally resurrected and brought to the fore in season 2, and I think that more than anything is what scuppers a move out of denial or past anything apart from best friends until at least cancer arc, but that's a whole other post.

Thanks for readiiing 💕

[pr0serpinas]

I don’t think Solomon actually hates Sebastian.

We know that Solomon got the “retire gracefully or get fired” option extended to him after using an Unforgivable Curse on a Dark Wizard. We also know that Solomon considered Sebastian stubborn, “like your father.” Sebastian’s utter refusal to focus on giving Anne comfort, combined with his willingness to go to any length to save her—whether she wanted it or not—quite possibly scared the shit out of Solomon because it looked like all the worst traits of their family combined. Solomon doesn’t strike me as the most regretful or reflective person, but the strong way he responds to Sebastian using Imperio seems to imply that he’s come to feel remorse at using an Unforgivable himself. To see someone so young use it in such a casual manner and immediately defend it was probably something that made him look at himself and his own (in loco) parenting practices.

No matter the nature of their estrangement, when Sebastian and Anne lost their parents, Solomon lost a brother. I have to believe that would have affected him, even if the effect was anger. We see Solomon living alone in a tiny, gritty cottage (I don’t personally think the size or decor of the cottage reflects much or should be taken seriously, but that’s for another time). He likely was pretty content like that. And now he’s forced in a position to take care of two children whom he may not have even ever met. Doubtless he would have been reminded of the relationship he once had with his brother. And raising children is hard. You can’t just tell them something once. They’re not intrinsically motivated at a young age. You have to teach them a dozen times, and sometimes they’ll still willfully disobey just because they can. I doubt this was something Solomon was prepared for or ever got used to.

In the Victorian era, Sebastian would’ve been expected to protect his sister, who would have been expected to be refined and delicate. (FWIW I don’t think Anne was delicate a day in her prematurely short life.) Anne’s compassion and desire to help led her to leave the cabin when Feldcroft was attacked, and Solomon—and probably most people in the village—absolutely would have blamed Sebastian for “letting” his sister get hurt. Solomon also strikes me entirely as the kind of person who would follow the twisted logic of, “You couldn’t keep your sister safe? Well, you don’t deserve to have a sister.” I don’t think Solomon is letting Anne die, to be fair. I think we should take the notion that he’s done everything he could with a grain of salt, but I think he’s probably done everything that he can afford.

To be clear, I’m not defending Solomon. I think he’s deliberately cruel, as seen by destroying the harmless Shrivelfig that Sebastian brought Anne. He’s also got some of the same impulse and anger issues that his nephew has, since he conjured what I’m fairly sure was Fiendfyre to fight two 15/16-year olds. He’s pretty terrible.

Tl;dr I think Solomon is a bitter, damaged man and an ill-equipped guardian. I think he’s probably a shit-ass person. I think all of those things led him to be emotionally neglectful at best and abusive at worst. But the image that I see a lot of Solomon as a larger-than-life bogeyman figure who is willfully rubbing his hands together like Burns and fantasizing about how to abuse Sebastian is not one that squares for me, especially because Anne had genuine love and affection for him. I think he didn’t meet Sebastian’s needs, and Sebastian took that personally. To say that Sebastian’s actions were directly a response to abuse does both characters a disservice.

[pouralaura]

This is like THE question of the ages but here goes. Is your Raphael capable of love? It is my understanding that devils are capable of an obsessive, manipulative, perverted version of it; but the Raphael in your fics has a particular human fallibility that is endearing, and a willingness to entertain those follies (for the sake of his favorite mouse) that I’m wondering if it’s possible that he would (accidentally) fall in love in a mortal sense, going against his fiendish nature (it would have to be a very special mouse). I’d love to hear your take on his fiend/human dichotomy. 🫶

what a fabulous question. thank you for asking! I've thought a lot about this and I always come to the same conclusion: yes, my Raphael is in fact capable of love. there is a "however" which I will get to shortly.

let me first say that I really simply do not care about canon. bro lives in my head rent-free as his own entity and does not necessarily fit DnD/BG lore in that space. that's just a disclaimer, take it as you will.

Raphael's love with my Tav (both generic and my Eris specifically) is definitely just magnetic obsession at first until they realize how hard they match each other's freak. he power plays and power plays and power plays, letting his mouse in ON HIS TERMS ALONE until it's too late and she's as much a part of him as he is of her. fwiw, Tav/Eris's love is the same as his - but his makes him more human and hers makes her less, all for better or for worse. and I think his capacity for love has so much to do with the other person in the equation, which is extremely human of him - Tav pushes him back and needles him but also worships him in her own way, taking on some of his traits the more time she spends with him. some of that is unconscious and some is fully intentional. it's all a part of the Game, which, for her, is Understanding (literally figuring out what makes him tick), while for him it's Winning (taking what he knows of her and using/manipulating it however he wants). Raphael is a narcissist and naturally loves himself most of all, but once he sees himself reflected in another person I think that unlocks a new layer of longing and deep connection within him.

I've used the lyric I won't speak of love since the beginning of writing about the two of them and it's always gonna fit. Tav/Eris knows what the feeling is on both sides, because she is 100% human and overly perceptive, intuitive, and insightful. but she is smart enough not to push that understanding onto Raphael because attempting to force him to admit what he perceives as a weakness would destroy their dynamic.

which brings me to my main point: again, yes, he is capable of love. he is even capable of unconditional love.

BUT

he will not accept that about himself, even for a moment. his love is obsessive and manipulative and perverted OF COURSE but it's also his purest emotion, which is an embarrassment. he will ignore the truth of what it is fully out of pride. if Eris pushed him to acknowledge it he would drop her in an instant and shed all remaining traces of his humanity. it's simultaneously the strongest connection he has with anyone and the thinnest tightrope of a line they could possibly walk - but they complement each other so well that they've somehow found that perfect unacknowledged balance. Eris is prideful too but understands that to maintain the status quo she MUST swallow some of her pride and allow Raphael to keep up appearances for his own sake - which is one of her major ways of showing love from her side.

he loves her purely and earnestly and deeply but he will ALWAYS love himself and his image more. some might say that means he is not capable of real love but I think the two can coexist! people are complicated!

this is fun to think about and I really hope it makes any kind of coherent sense all written out.

[spade-riddles]

Spade, I'm not trying to be a troll here, I swear. But you said recently how disgusted you would be to see Taylor playing aunt to a Kushner child. But don't you think this whole thing is going to end with Taylor pretending to be stepmom to two Kushner kids? It seems like the only logical outcome.

You said you're following Taylor because you think she's planning something big. But what if she's not? To me, songs like Dear Reader suggest the opposite. That Taylor is choosing her family and her happiness above playing the role people want from her. "Find another guiding light." I think that's addressed to us as much as the Hetlors, and I think the same about the themes of TTPD. Everyone in the fandom is going to have to swallow something they don't like, when it all shakes out. At first that seems to be Matty Healy, then it'll be Karlie (for the Gaylors and the Hetlors) and then for us, it'll be the Kushner association. I think she's been warning all of us she's not our hero, for a long time. But we only hear what we want to hear.

The 🎃 messages end the same way as Fresh Out The Slammer - with Taylor going home to the woman she loves. Making sacrifices for the woman she loves. It's not the story of a grand fight on behalf of something bigger. It's one scared woman fighting for the right to be human and live in peace with her family. People help her in the kitchen, she's not helping them. She walks the plank, but she does it to protect her lover. Not anyone else.

♠️ used to talk about a revolution - but that was years ago, and frankly I just think Taylor's priorities have changed. None of the riddles we've received in recent years seem to be about anything other than the freedom to be with Karlie. For me, I'm okay with that. I'm not saying you have to be too. I guess I'm just wondering how you would feel if a stepmom situation was how this all ended? Would it taint everything for you, or do you think you could still be happy for Taylor on some level, and proud of everything you did here?

Hi Anon, thank you for the thought out ask.

For clarity, I did not use the word 'disgusted'. I also do not believe those are Karlie's kids we see, so I do not believe Taylor will play the auntie or stepmom to 'Kushner' kids. Do we forget how many 'Dad' references Taylor has made? Or how Taylor wore pink, the night Jerk announced the birth of a boy.

I lean toward the two boys we see likely being Jerk's kids with Mikey. See this post for why I feel this way. My guess is that Karlie and Taylor will just keep their children very private, and we will not learn about them for years. In the meantime, Karlie stops posting about the two boys. I am not the only person who thinks they have a daughter.

I am not following Taylor because I think she is doing something big. I am following her because she is a brilliant musician, who I believe to also be a good human. Separately, I also think she is going to do something big/important. I was under the impression around here that people think she is going to burn it all down ... hence the imagery of the Lover house on tour. I would have to re-read the 🎃 messages again to see if that sways me. Regardless, if she sneezes it is big news. So if she does choose to come out, it will be huge.

I do agree that she is doing whatever she can to be with Karlie publicly and privately, and anyone caught in the cross-fire be damned. I have listened to Dear Reader as directed at myself/us, of course, and I believe it has merit. But I also know that I have a lot of emojis who visit this blog, seemingly wanting to keep us on board.

FWIW, if she never comes out that is completely fine. I have never been here chasing that goal. Do we get excited when we see her get loud? Yes. But it is her life to live as she chooses. The recent emoji anons say that she is ready to open the door, and she is not afraid.

If she played the stepmom role to Karlie's kids that the public would think are Kushners ... I would be gone. That would mean a lifetime contract with the Kushners and by association through Jared and Ivanka, the Trumps. It would mean that Ivanka and Jared are Taylor's children's aunt and uncle. How can anyone wrap their head around that idea? Why would a super powerful billionaire woman sign up for that? If she is coming out, why do so under that big of a lie? And, why put that kind of stain on your children? Why would we think she would sign up for that? Remember Karlie showed a turkey baster, and Taylor talked about her buns in the oven. Karlie did not have Jerk's kids. So why would they allow the Kushners to latch onto them for life?

If that is the narrative though, I would regret that I ever spent my time on here, other than for the education I have received over the years about Hollywood PR, and the friendships I have made. I would know I played a small part in her story though, as we have brought in many new Kaylors to support her. But, Taylor raising perceived 'Kushners' would be too much for me.

I would ask people to consider this ... no one on Tumblr calls out the Kushners for their criminality more than I do. If Taylor is pals with him, as some people around here believe, why did she play Paper Rings, seemingly at my request? Also, why did she drag him in I Bet You Think About Me, while also mocking Mikey? Maybe we share similar views of them?