#fuzz local

[ardeportal]

Brant Bjork: el desierto en la ciudad

El baterista fundador de Kyuss sacudió Montevideo en una nueva edición de Fuzz Local

Por Ginny Lupin Fotos Gino Bomba

Hay un indicativo infalible de la calidad de un show que no se encuentra arriba del escenario; se nota ya desde la entrada y se incrementa con los resagados que se van acumulando, cerveza en mano, al fondo de Plaza Mateo: si en el público abundan los músicos, el show va a estar increíble. Y el domingo pasado, en una nueva edición del festival Fuzz Local, estaban todos.

La tarde arrancó con bastante puntualidad y una afluencia de gente considerable; eso que era domingo, Nacional y Defensor jugaban a unas cuadras y el clima estaba inestable. Pero la jornada prometía distorsión de la mano de grandes exponentes locales y las verdaderas leyendas del desierto. No había justificativo para pegarse el faltazo.

Contramarea pateó el tablero con un set corto y al hueso. Banda insignia del festival, abrieron esta tercera edición de Fuzz Local para homenajear la distorsión, sacando provecho del fuzz único de los pedales Inspira como en cada escenario que pisan.

En medio de nuevas composiciones, los Contramarea desplegaron toda su energía, haciendo sacudir las cabezas con el diferencial de un sonido único y arrollador.

Tempestad

Flor Sakeo está en "su prime". Acompañada de músicos de nivel, la reina del fuzz montevideano se prendió fuego sobre el escenario de Plaza Mateo.

Riffs seductores y envolventes lucieron la distorsión en su faceta más psicodélica, en sintonía con la estética de pantalones metalizados y pelo sacudido a todo volúmen.

En primera fila, un chico de pelo largo desafiaba la gravedad contorsionando la cabeza al ritmo de la música. En simultáneo, un grupete hacía señas para captar la atención de Mario Lalli, "el padrino del desierto" y ahora bajista de Brant Bjork, quien accedió a la foto mientras seguía atento el espectáculo de la uruguaya.

"Canción para los planetas" y la nueva, "Casualidad" fueron cantadas a todo pulmón por su público, fiel asistente en cada partido de Sakeo.

La performance sobre el escenario justificó y recompensó esa fidelidad con un despliegue de nivel. Efusivos, Flor y su banda demostraron el entusiasmo por la primera fecha del año con una complicidad que excede lo musical y nos permite un vistazo de la dinámica del grupo. Guiños, risas y genuino disfrute sobre el escenario se trasladaron a la audiencia.

La cúspide del set llegó demasiado pronto, con una cuerda rota que no detuvo el ritual del fuzz y la esperada liberación del pogo. "Abran un círculo", pidió Sakeo y el público obedeció, con una danza tan tentadora que Piotto tuvo que abandonar su posición detrás de las teclas para saltar a la pista y formar parte del ritual.

Si así empieza el año de Flor Sakeo, ¿qué nos esperará para los próximos meses?

Duelo de leyendas

Si el titular "Brant Bjork en Uruguar" ya era movilizante para todos aquellos que hicieron del stoner desértico un pilar fundamental de su trayectoria musical, bastó con confirmar quiénes lo acompañarían en la travesía sudamericana para perder por completo la cabeza.

En la batería, Ryan Gut aporta el groove metal que cultivó junto a Hammerface. Gran colaborador de Bjork, no sólo forma parte de su proyecto solista sino que también compartieron Stoner, la banda que volvió a reunir a Bjork y Oliveri luego de la separación de Kyuss. Pero es Mario Lalli desde el bajo quien se lleva todas las miradas y ovaciones.

Precursor del stoner rock, Lalli es una de las mayores influencias en la escena del desierto californiano. Sus bandas Across the River y Yawning Man, activas a inicios de los 80, sirvieron de detonante para toda una generación de artistas. Junto a Bjork, Lalli experimenta un abanico de sonidos recorridos a lo largo de su trayectoria, desde el stoner más puro hasta coqueteos con el soul y el blues perceptibles en las últimas producciones del trío.

Sobre el escenario, la fórmula fue infalible. La poderosa voz de Bjork y la marea de distorsión que emana su guitarra lo valorizan como frontman del proyecto. Lalli llevó el groove inmutable, paseando sus larguísimos dedos por las cuerdas del bajo con una fuerza jamás vista para un índice humano. Y el ritmo estaba en buenas manos con Gut, controlando todo desde el fondo.

Frente a un Plaza Mateo atiborrado y mesmerizado, Bjork y compañía brindaron hora y media de oda al fuzz. No faltaron el pogo ni la emoción, en una fecha ciertamente inolvidable para el rock local.

[darlingandmreames]

After the Andes get married they hyphenate their last names to Wainwright-Cartwright and Cartwright-Wainwright, respectively. This makes Nicholas’ life a living hell, and it’s no secret that this was 100% something they considered when deciding how to approach the name situation

[magicmalcolm]

[endreal]

After being surprisingly disappointed by unavailability and/or heartbreakingly long waitlists at the library I did a thing I haven't done in years and treated myself to a haul of new books - a few replacements for childhood favorites, a fever dream, and a recommendation from back in spring.

[hjemne]

i just remembered about an incredibly funny local legend but i cant say what it was without immediately doxxing myself rip

what i will say is that hot fuzz is not wholly inaccurate about rural english life and who the police get called to deal with

[formerheroeswhoquittoolate]

headcanon that the smaller batkids steal the bigger ones' hoodies and jackets. and by "bigger ones" I mean literally anyone bigger than them.

jason gets the short end of the stick because dick and all his little siblings take his. tim's the only one bold enough to go for the leather jackets (well, and cass, but they're way too wide in the shoulders for her) but it's not uncommon to find dick or stephanie in a dark red or gray hoodie that smells of motor oil and gunpowder.

damian usually takes dick's hoodies, but they're very oversized on him. on the bright side, there are thumbholes in the sleeves of all dick's hoodies, so he can still use his hands. the thumbholes make them a hot commodity in the winter.

there is a tim-steph-cass jacket pipeline. steph steals tim's hoodies and cass takes them from steph. hence tim stealing jason's leather jackets -- steph won't take them, so he gets to hold on to them until jason realizes and takes them back. sometimes cass will also steal duke's hoodies, but she always returns them clean and neatly folded (unlike how it goes with the rest of the family, in which they are returned only under threat of blackmail or with long rounds of negotiation).

this is an extremely long-standing ring of jacket theft. you cannot leave a hoodie unattended in wayne manor. damian doesn't actually own any hoodies, and cass only owns one, because there's so many other people in the house to "borrow" one from. nowhere is safe. steph once broke into dick's apartment to steal his warm hoodie, the one with the fuzz on the inside.

but it goes the other way sometimes. jason leaves things in the pockets of his leather jackets for tim -- film for his camera, hand sanitizer, half-filled punch cards for local coffee shops with "drink water too, fucker" written on the back. cass will tuck little slips of paper in the cuffed sleeves when she leaves hoodies out. the notes don't say anything, but they have little smiley faces and hearts on them, and steph has taken to doing something similar with corny jokes. dick just straight-up leaves candy in the hoods of his jackets.

it's a game, it's a love language. it's simultaneously annoyance and affection. there's nothing like wearing a hoodie that's too big for you, that smells like your family, to make you feel safe.

[spamgyu]

SVT HHU - Orange Peel Theory // Drabble

orange peel theory is making it's rounds on local tiktok and twitter. this is my humorous take on how the HIP HOP UNIT discuss/deal with the orange peel theory with their significant others.

[vu] [pu]

SEUNGCHEOL

"would you peel this for me?" she placed a tangerine on his desk – not caring if he was in the middle of playing his video games.

without having to ask twice, seungcheol hid his character behind a container, away from his opponents shots and reached for the fruit. "cover me, wonwoo." he mumbled into the mic, peeling the citrus with ease. "just one?"

y/n smiled as he handed the fruit back to her. "just one."

"that's so small. get another." seungcheol nodded over to the kitchen.

"no this is fine." she shook her head, happy with the results.

he probably thought she was hungry, and considering dinner was hours away, seungcheol knew it would not be enough to hold her off.

standing from his seat, he made his way to the bag of cuties they had purchased at the store – peeling two more.

"that's enough." she laughed, stopping him from peeling a third one.

WONWOO

"baby?"

"hm?" he responded from the other side of the couch, preoccupied with his mobile game.

"would you peel an orange for me?"

wonwoo glanced up, looking behind her to see an empty counter top – a place where they usually kept their fruits.

locking his phone, wonwoo bounded for the door – leaving his girlfriend confused. "where are you going?"

"getting oranges." he replied, as if it was the most obvious response – grabbing his keys off of the hook.

"wait–" y/n laughed, walking over to him. "it was hypothetical."

wonwoo's head tilted to the side, puzzled by the point she was trying to make. "why would it be hypothetical? you asked meaning you want it. it's okay i can get–"

"baby it's a tiktok trend." she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"to ask if i would peel an orange?" he asked slowly.

"they said if you would peel an orange for your significant other, you would do any mundane task for the–"

"i need you to understand i'd peel the earth for you."

throwing her head back, she let out another laugh. she knew he was joking but his delivery had sent her over – keeping a straight face as he replied the most outlandish way possible.

MINGYU

she knew he would peel the orange for her, she didn't need to ask.

in the three years they had been together, not once had she had to open a canned drink, twist open a cap off a bottled water, plan a single date, open her own doors – hell, she hadn't had to put her own gas in her car since she began dating the king of acts of service.

he had done it without being asked.

since being with him, she had been able to turn her brain off – fulfilling her life long wish of being treated like a princess.

but she also didn't think it would be such a hot topic when she had showed him the tiktok of the orange peel theory.

"i'm not humoring this. i won't." he shook his head for the third time.

"why not?!" y/n stomped.

"fine, you want peeled oranges?" mingyu grumbled, walking over to their fruit bowl, peeling the citrus and placing it in front of her. "here."

looking at the bare fruit, y/n couldn't help but wince. not because of his actions.

but because she hated the sight of the white pith. she hated peeled oranges.

it was far too messy to eat and the texture of the white fuzz surrounding it gave her the heebie-jeebies – shuddering just at the thought of touching it.

"exactly." mingyu grabbed another orange and a knife – slicing it in quarters. "i can't peel it because you like it sliced."

she stood there dumfounded as he left the kitchen chuckling.

he won this round.

VERNON

"that's dumb." vernon snorted as his girlfriend showed him the third tiktok of someone's boyfriend failing miserably at their significant other's attempts to ask them to peel an orange for them.

"it's also kinda funny." she laughed.

"i'm one step ahead though."

furrowing her brows, she gave him a look from the other side of the couch.

"that," vernon pointed to the small potted plant resting by their window sill. "is gonna be an orange tree."

he had recently been very into assisting her with finding decorations for their new shared home, at times coming home with various plants and art works. she had gotten accustomed to his random home-good shopping sprees, she didn't dare bat an eye when he had come home with a real potted plant the other day. it would just be another addition to their countless ones that he used to brighten up their home.

"you bought an orange tree– plant?" her eyes wide. he never was the green thumb, killing the cactus she had bought for him years ago. she figured she would be the one to tend to this new plant.

"anyone can peel an orange." he shrugged. "i'll move it to the yard when it gets bigger."

"oh my god."

@thegirlwhoimagined @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @f4iryjjosh @akeminy @yonabutnotyuna @tacosandbitch @hanniebaby95 @vanillacheol @aaniag @bettybotterboughtabitofbutter @xbaekcult @alwaysalmostthere @ashkuuuu @morkswatermelonnnn @isabellah29 @lottogyu @alwaysalmostthere

(for some reason it's not allowing me to tag some who wanted to be added to the perm tag list ... cries... pls check ur settings so i can for future posts)

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐳𝐛𝐢𝐧 𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ warnings: mentions of cannibalism and porn

↳ song: hit the road jack—ray charles

↳ notes: i can't believe i'm posting this (derogatory)

masterlist | commissions | carrd

• You had decided to move into the hotel after a particularly flashy poster caught your eye

• You were just walking to your run down apartment from a shift at your work, messing with the frayed ends of your sleeves, when a burst of neon red and yellow entered your field vision

• It was a poorly drawn advertisement colored head to toe in bright hues and glitter, advertising a hotel that would offer you a shot of getting out of hell

• With a shrug and a tug of the poster, you slipped it off the brick wall and into your pocket

• It’s not like you had anything else going on, and a free room was a free room. Besides; if the redemption thing turned out to be real, that would just be an added bonus

• Upon arriving at the doorstep of the hotel a few days later with a duffel bag in hand and the other rapping against the front door, you were nearly knocked over by a thin demon with red cheeks excitedly asking if you were there to check in

• “Oh my gosh hi! How are you! Because you look amazing and oh my gosh I’m so happy you’ve decided to check in!” She all but shouted in your ear. Cringing slightly, you leaned away from her embrace to slip inside

• “I’m guessing you don’t get a lot of guests?” You asked slowly as she closed the door behind you, some nearby dust stirring up at the action. The inside looked to empty to be a hotel

• “Nope!”

• Your first sign that you were getting more than you had bargained for should have been the sound of scuttling feet as a small demon made her way across your feet to impale a bug on her claws. She was lightly scolded for ‘accidently frightening our new addition’ before running off with the insect

• "Sorry about that! Nifty is really passionate about her job." The demon next to you laughed nervously. You just shifted your weight and nodded awkwardly in response

• Looking a few feet over to the living area, there was a lanky fellow covered in fuzz and lounging on a sad looking couch. He was flicking through channels on a T.V. You caught them occasionally landing on one and laughing before moving on, never staying entertained for too long

• The demon caught your eye, and waved two of his four hands at you in a lazy greeting

• “Oh, that’s Angel Dust! Our other resident." The woman, you now knew as Charlie, fussed. “He’s been with us for a few months, and has shown incredible progress! Something I’m sure you will find yourself doing!” She bounced on the balls of her feet happily while steering you around by the shoulders

• “Uh huh.” You couldn’t help but nod slowly, only now noticing that the channels Angel had been focusing on were blasting various types of porn shows

• A hasty tour was promptly carried out through the rest of the building. You were shown different rooms, all in various states of decay, while simultaneously meeting the other hotel inhabitants

• A fierce lady with a spear— Vaggie, as she had been introduced as —didn’t seem too up for conversation, only giving Charlie a peck on the cheek and you a suspicious glare before climbing a pair of stairs to take care of something else

• Back downstairs, the local bartender didn’t even bother to look at you, instead mumbling something under his breath while playing cards with a snake like demon

• “Don’t take it to heart. Husk is a big sweetheart, really.” Charlie waved at you with a closed eye smile, missing the way that Husk flipped her off grumpily. “And that’s Sir Pentious over there! Besides Angel Dust, and now you I guess, he’s our only guest.”

• The snake simply offered a loud and hissing hello before demanding with theatrical outrage that Husk was cheating. At least you think it was theatrical outrage. He seemed high strung either way

• But by far, the most memorable staff member you met on the tour was a tall demon with a red suit and fluffy ears; the likes of which you and Charlie had barged in on as he ate a plate of what looked like flesh. Whether animal, or something else, you couldn’t tell

• “Finally, this is our facility manager, Alastor! He helps out with all kinds of things here, and will be a key element in your redeeming process.” Your cheery guide announced. She seemed to ignore the slight tension in the air as the other member in the room smiled tightly, but the feeling disappeared as the tall demon stood up in greeting

• “Why Charlie!” Alastor’s voice crackled with heavy static, reminding you of audio from a gramophone. Or perhaps one of those old fashioned radio’s. “If I knew we were having company, I would have made myself more presentable!” He chuckled without ever looking anywhere but you

• You had to tilt your head up to look at him completely. There wasn’t a wrinkle on his suit, and every one of his hairs sat perfectly on his head. Even his monocle appeared to be freshly polished

• “Presentable.” You said slowly and without emotion, aware of Alastor’s highetened gaze on you. “Right.”

• Charlie was quick to get you to your new room after that

• It was weird, trying to fall into a rhythm with a group of people that had already become so aquatinted with one another, but you managed

• The trust exercises were cheesy and took too long, chores were a daily task for everyone, and Alastor snuck around in the shadows too much for your liking, but at least you had a place to live

• Besides. Who was to say you couldn’t make a few friends along the way?

[not-the-cheese]

one sentence(ish) summaries of every magnus archive episode PART 2

(eps 61-110) thank u for the funny comments and tags on the last part i love u guys

the rest of these may take a while as i've caught up to where i am currently in the podcast but i will finish them like in a month i promise

----

61. the thrilling sequel to man does not open coffin: man DOES open coffin.

62. surely this doctor can find an easier way to scam people out of money than putting them in a little book.

63. THE DARK ATE MY BROTHER IN LAW.

64. this is possibly the plot of laura croft tomb raider

65. mmm crumchy

66. what's the opposite of an unboxing video

67. as close to a coffeeshop au as you're going to get from this podcast

68. Doctors hate him! Man REFUSES to die from tuberculosis!

69. your college's psych department has the worst idea ever.

70. reverse death note

71. not even death will stop this woman from taking the british subway

72. man doesn't want to be low key racist in his last moments before getting eaten

73. police versus the second coming of dark jesus

74. lady is haunted by an ad for coffee

75. mike crew says "uh fuck it let's just put this guy on a skyscraper forever"

76. ryan from buzzfeed unsolved breaks into a train yard and suffers consequences

77. you're not a enough of a bitch to be my real mom

78. man gets harassed by his cousin and then exorcises him

79. you know that chase scene in scooby doo with the doors

80. stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner

81. i have been personally victimized by the sequel to the hungry hungry caterpillar

82. pov: elias threatens to cancel you

83. mannequin takes matters into its own hands after people don't like its pitch for a new window display

84. a hoarder put newspaper on my friend's face :(

85. hey there's maybe a little man upon these stairs?

86. man gets got by a squiggly thing in the dark.

87. plumber is so oblivious to spooky happenings around him that it possibly saves his life.

88. guys i think this guy likes to dig

89. lesbian investment banker finds a new, less evil job: arson!

90. guy who turns people's bones starts a gym where he promises not to turn your bones! (he is lying)

91. i was stalked by lightning for 10 years and i all i got were these stupid scars

92. jonah magnus is a bad friend // another day another elias slay

93. ocd is no match for purple fuzz

94. let the bodies drop gently to the floor let the bodies drop gently to the floor

95. im so sorry my brain refuses to remember what the war ones were about but i think one guy got gently kissed on the forehead so that's pretty nice.

96. diversity wins! the not-quite-human delivery men who stole your identity and business are maybe gay?

97. man gets gaslighted by an entire town about a hole

98. 🎶mister sandman bring me a dream, actually don't, please stay far from me 🎶

99. another one bites the dust

100. archival assistants face off against the general public (they lose)

101. jon finally levels up high enough to unlock an eldritch horror's tragic backstory

102. LOCAL MAN MARRIES BUG

103. peppa eats a clown and they cover her in concrete instead of congratulating her.

104. pennywise stole my brother's skin

105. it's world war z baby

106. Something Big Is In Space.

107. man is interrogated about the time he saw thomas the train roasts people alive and also sans is there

108. actor is stalked by mask who liked his monologue so much that it tells its mask friends to come watch.

109. sometimes a family is just a serial killer's daughter and that guy who maybe killed some vampires

110. yeah man those spiders be eating

Part 1 |

[trying-harder-then-u]

Philip wasn't used to all the stares he was getting from his workers; for god's sake, he was the CEO, and they should be paying respect to him, but instead all the builders to whom he paid the salary just stared in confusion and pity at the tall man in his suit guiding the investors around the construction site.

His black suit, thin build, and clean-shaven appearance drew a harsh contrast to the men that watched. The bored faces of the investors showed that they were just as interested in this as he was, so it was a respite when he managed to excuse himself to go to the bathroom.

Stumbling along, dirt and dust caking his boots, he finally ran into the manager of the property, a bulky man with a short fuse. "Where is the bathroom?" he inquired, only greeted by a judging glance as he stared down. "It's employee only; the public bathroom is a block away." Philip was shocked by the never-ending argument, but he made a mental note to find some recourse for the attitude. He picked his way through the clogged city blocks, finally coming to the public bathrooms.

As he walked into the graffiti-covered stall, he felt his disgust build as he saw a strange liquid covering not just the floor but the bathrooms and walls as well. and judging from the smell, he could tell where this liquid came from. Knowing that he didn't have time to waste, he quickly rolled up toilet paper and wiped down the seat of the toilet. After a few seconds, he went to chuck it when he stepped into a large puddle of cum, glaring at the gunk stuck on his heel. Using the wall to support him as he tried to scrape it off, he only managed to get it on his clothes before finally feeling more drip from the roof on top of his bald head.

Now thoroughly disgusted, he went to leave but found he couldn't; he seemed to be...

rooted to the spot? Phillip's whole body began to shiver as his eyes moved rapidly in his sockets. The shivering began to localize on his legs as a cracking sound filled the air. Did the door seem to grow bigger and bigger, or was he getting smaller? He remembered from the view that his height had gone from 6 feet 3 to 5 feet 6. His mind kept screaming as his body tingled, his thin arms tingled, and he began to thicken along with his legs, a small gut growing out.

His pale skin soon would change too as his skin darkened and tanned, matching that of his many workers. changed rapidly now, his once clean, shaven body growing hair all over and his slightly below-average "tool" shrinking a few inches. Finally able to leave, he felt his head fuzz as if his thoughts were being yelled at him through glass, but he did begin to panic when he didn't return to his investors but rather to the man. "Where have you been?" Phillip thought he was yelling; he couldn't hear anything, though. Looking down, his clothes also changed to a plain tee and some shorts; he truly looked just like a worker now.

The next 5 hours, his body went on autopilot, working harder than his old body ever had, but when the work day finally ended, he kept walking to a house he had never seen, climbing stairs after stairs before finally coming to a door that reeked of cum and sweat. Opening in, he saw a young Latino man, no pants, and busy playing some kind of video game. He somehow knew that this was the man whose cum had covered the bathroom that had caused all this.

glancing over the man—his boyfriend? No, that can't be. He was married, and his thoughts were getting harder. Mmm, Phillipe could see the bulge in the other man's underwear, and the other man obviously could see Phillipe's eyes. "Why don't you come help Daddy out, baby?" excitedly he moved forward and began stripping his BF. "That's it, ik you liked the stuff you found in the bathroom you slut, come get some from the source" as he greedily sucked away his memories. Natural, his Spanish accent? attractive to the ladies, not like he needs it with his boyfriend around. His memories shifted fully, and Philip was gone. He was Philip, a Mexican immigrant working hard so his hot boyfriend could play games. His life was difficult with working and then doing all the chores, but at least he got some good dick. and not a person would miss who he was...

[selfharm-harmreduction]

Arteries, Veins, & Capillaries: A First Aid Guide (For Self-Harmers)

[Pt: Arteries, Veins, & Capillaries: A First Aid Guide (For Self-Harmers)]

IF YOU BELIEVE YOU MAY HAVE HIT AN ARTERY CALL FOR AN AMBULANCE IMMEDIATELY

[Pt: IF YOU BELIEVE YOU MAY HAVE HIT AN ARTERY CALL FOR AN AMBULANCE IMMEDIATELY]

[Image description: an info graphic showing three different types of bleeding. The first hand is labelled "ARTERIES". Their is a cut to the wrist of hand 1 and it is spirting blood as well as leaking a heavy stream of blood. Bullet points below hand 1 say "Spurting blood; Pulsating flow; Bright red colour".

Hand two is labelled "VEINS". Their is a cut below the thumb on the 2nd hand and a heavy stream of blood is flowing from the cut. Bullet points below hand 2 say "Steady, slow flow; Dark red colour".

Hand three is labelled "CAPILLARIES". Their is a cut to the back of hand 3 and a light stream of blood is flowing from the cut. A bullet points below hand 3 says "Slow, even flow". /end id]

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, all of the information below is based on my research. It is always best to see a doctor if you are injured. I do not promote self-harm.

Arteries, veins, and capillaries are all blood vessels. Blood vessel carry blood through out the body and cuts to different ones require different levels of care.

Telling the difference

[Pt: Telling the difference]

Capillaries:

Capillaries are the smallest type of blood vessel and are also the least dangerous. A cut to a capillary will... - bleed slowly and evenly - stop bleeding after 2-5 minutes of even pressure* - unlikely to be life threatening A cut to a capillary will not... - spirt blood - flow heavily* (*unless you have bleeding disorder or have taken a blood thinning medication or drug, more info on this below)

Veins:

Veins carry blood back to your heart. A cut to a vein will... - bleed dark red blood - have an even flow of blood - bleed more then capillaries - stop bleeding after 5-10 minutes of even pressure* - sometimes be life threatening (*unless you have bleeding disorder or have taken a blood thinning medication or drug, more info on this below) A cut to a vein will not... - spirt blood

Arteries:

Arteries are the largest blood vessel, they carry oxygenated blood away from the heart. Cuts to arteries are always an emergency, if you (or someone else) ever cuts an artery call for an ambulance (i.e. 999, 911, 112). A cut to an artery will... - spurt blood - have a pulsating flow (i.e. spurting may stop momentarily then begun again) - bleed bright red blood - deadly without immediate medical attention (call an ambulance!) A cut to an artery cannot be treated at home and requires immediate emergency medical attention.

First aid!

[Pt: First aid!]

Now that you know the difference between arterial, venus, and capillary bleeding heres how to treat them. But first the obligatory list of ambulance needing situations.

Call for an ambulance if...

You have or think you may have cut an artery

You go into shock (link)

If you are unsure if you need immediate emergency medical attention

If you do not think you can take care of your injuries alone and cannot get yourself to A&E

If you have any of the symptoms listed in the A&E list but cannot get yourself to A&E

Go to A&E if...

If you lose sensation or movement in any area, this is a sign of nerve or tendon damage

The injury is to a joint, palm, your face, or genitals

If the injury is internal

You can see muscle or bone. Muscle looks like meat

If the tool you used was rusty, dirty, or you do not know if it was clean

If you are unsure if you need emergency medical attention

If you do not think you can take care of your injuries alone

If you are unsure how serious an injury is call your local A&E's nurse line (if in the UK call 111 or use 111 online (link)).

Capillaries:

Apply pressure to the cut(s) with a cloth that will not pill or leave fuzz in the cut (e.g. a bit of old t-shirt) for 5 minutes or until bleeding stops. If bleeding does not stop after 10 minutes of even pressure go to A&E. If you cannot get yourself to A&E safely, begin to have symptoms of shock (link), or think you might need immediate emergency medical care call for an ambulance Rinse the cut(s) out with warm water to remove any debris. Dry well with a clean non-fuzzy cloth. If your wound is gaping it needs stitches, seek immediate medical attention. If you cannot/will not seek medical attention use steri-strips (link) or butterfly bandages (link) to close the injury. These can also be used for more minor injuries where the edges of cut do not meet. Otherwise, use a plaster or other bandage to cover the wound(s). More info on first aid and wound care here (link).

Veins:

Apply pressure to the cut(s) with a cloth that will not pill or leave fuzz in the cut (e.g. a bit of old t-shirt) for 10 minutes or until bleeding stops. If bleeding does not stop after 10 minutes of even pressure go to A&E. If you cannot get yourself to A&E safely or think you might need immediate emergency medical care call for an ambulance. Keep an eye out for symptoms of shock (link), call for an ambulance if you suspect you are in shock. Shock cannot be treated at home and can be fatal. Follow the instructions of the emergency line operator until the ambulance arrives. Rinse the cut(s) out with warm water to remove any debris. Dry well with a clean non-fuzzy cloth. If your wound is gaping it needs stitches, seek immediate medical attention. If you cannot/will not seek medical attention use steri-strips (link) or butterfly bandages (link) to close the injury. These can also be used for more minor injuries where the edges of cut do not meet. Otherwise, use a plaster or other bandage to cover the wound(s). More info on first aid and wound care here (link).

Arteries:

Immediately begin applying pressure with a cloth, do not worry too much about getting fluff in the cut. Call for an ambulance (999, 911, 112, etc.) and follow the instructions of the emergency line operator. Do not hang up until the EMTs (people who work on the ambulance) are with you. If there is anyone else in the same building/area yell for them to help you, do not move to find them.

[darlingandmreames]

Hot Fuzz and 28 Days Later have bizarrely similar vibes. I am not accepting criticism

[gatorbites-imagines]

the request for hobie and the icp spiderman reader has intrigued me and I would like to see hobie x male reader who isnt a spiderman but a civillian, hes the lead guitarist for a metal band and hobie shows up to the venue for the readers concert as theres a gun threat or something along those lines (if thats ok ofc )

Hobie Brown x lead guitarist male reader

Headcanons

I think im experiencing writers block again.

You two most likely met at one of your concerts, or one of Hobies’ for that matter. Maybe it was an event where multiple bands would play.

You would both be amazed by the others playing, and before either of you knew what was happening, you two could be found flirting in the corner of the room. Everyone else faded into the background as you two got to know each other.

Time would pass, you two would text as you shared numbers that night, you two would go to each other’s concerts, all the shebang. Sadly Hobie had to slow down on his own music as all the spiderman things started going down, but that doesn’t stop him from coming to see you.

He can always be found in the crowd somewhere, easily spotted thanks to his height and his hair. Seeing him there always makes you feel better, and you tell him he’s gotta be your lucky token, as you’re playing always sounds better when he’s present.

It would be no secret that you two were dating, as it becomes a common sight to see you jump off the stage after concerts, maybe even throwing yourself as Hobie so he has to catch you. It becomes part of the experience for the people going after a while.

Your band probably isn’t that big, maybe more of a local famous band, but that’s exactly what Hobie loves anyways. He doesn’t approve of the larger music industry and how it relies on nepotism and money.

A gun threat could happen for many reasons, maybe they don’t like the music or your bands message, maybe they don’t like that the lead guitarist is so openly gay, maybe they just did it because it was somewhere with a lot of people.

Because the world you guys live in, you all get down when the person with the gun appears, waving their weapon around and threatening the people around them.

Of course, you have to play hero, so when they are threatening to shoot someone, you jump off the stage to get their attention. Right as the gun turns towards you and they are about to pull the trigger, Spiderman shows up and takes care of the perp.

If hes being extra rough with the perp, no one will notice. Its of course because Hobie was terrified you would get hurt, especially if he knows about canon events at this point, and has seen how the lovers of spiderpeople always end up hurt or dead.

He can’t go scoop you up as spiderman, so he quickly wraps up what he needs to do and comes back as himself, making it seem like he was there the whole time. Your band would be fuzzing over you, whilst also calling you cool for stepping in like that, when Hobie comes running.

Your bandmates only laugh as Hobie picks you up, checks you all over, and kisses you, telling you to never do something so stupid again.

After that Hobie would be on edge for a while, tense and paying closer attention to you than normal. He would stick closer to you during concerts, always eyeing the people around and staying close to the stage so he could pull you to safety if needed.

Your bandmates and the locals would just accept it, seeing it as one of Hobies quirks, some would even find it romantic that he watches out for you so much after the threat. They just think hes a protective boyfriend, they have no idea your protective boyfriend is spiderman though.

If he has no choice but to patrol on nights you have concerts, he always sticks close by and swings past where the concert is happening, to see you, but also to keep an eye out for any danger. It becomes a joke that spiderman is a big fan of your band, which you find humorous since he is, everyone else just doesn’t know.

It would take a while for Hobie to calm down, though the caution is always there but it’s always been there, as it comes with being spiderman. Just expect to be kisses before every concert now except for after, just in case.

[adaines-furious-feast]

Side quest idea:

Big city detective (rogue) is given time off work to handle a personal mystery that has been bugging her for years. It takes her to a small, neighbouring town where the local police are absolutely useless (I promise this isn't going to be the plot of Hot Fuzz).

She discovers her personal mystery has become tied up in the lives of many of the residents here, including a nurse (cleric) and a teenage emo with memory problems (bard) who knows there's something about her past she just cannot reach.

While everything seems to be tied to this small town, there's also a connection to someone from the detective's home city, an elderly lady (ranger) with an extremely large dog companion.

They're all drawn together by something just beyond the edge of their knowledge that they're chasing.

The campaign eventually takes them to hell and the Bottomless Pit, where they realise that their identities were all stolen and crafted by an archdevil who has zero idea who any of them are.

[writingoddess1125]

I am your Biggest Fan~

This was written while drunk-ly watching the new OPLA! If people like this I can make a Pt. 2 that gets SPICY ENJOY!

Part 2: Biggest Fan Pt. 2

Buggy The Clown x GN Reader

Warnings: Tsundare Buggy, Mild Kidnapping, almost noncon, Pirate stuff-

Buggy and his Crew had landed on a small island far away from any post or true fun- in most cases he would have raided the place for a show- However he was in no mood. After being released by the damn Strawhats he wasn't in much of a performing mood- No.. Him and his crew of Freaks where utterly beaten by a bunch of nobodies and then their Capitan was taken hostage by Arlong, It was humiliating. They all needed to recoup and lick their wounds as well as a fluff to the Ego- So here they all sat, in a dinky bar that looked a few strong wind gust away from falling apart.

Buggy glared at the old stage of the Bar- like it was mocking him. His anger still not coming down from his escape. Downing his pint he sighed and fixed his hat, ignoring the stares as of the few Locals that worked up the nerve to glance his and his crews way. He was disguised in a old cloak in order to keep people from recognizing him too much and making a fuss-

"Welcome to the Green Fuzz! We have a special performer tonight!" A skinny man announced from the stage, snapping Buggy from his pouting as he rolled his eyes. Drinking more as he now wanted to leave..

"A world famous Burlesque dancer will leave you stunned, smiling and oh so saucy-!"

Bleh. Buggy thought, glancing to see where the closest exit was.

"Now put your hands together for (Y/N)~"

The curtains opened slowly revealing a lone person standing there dressed in what could only be described as a mock-doll get up satin ribbons barely holding up the corset they were in and the thin lace tulle barely hiding the revealing thong underneath, Their back facing the audience as the music started up. They spun as a flurry of thin lace wrapped around them like colorful flames barely concealing their body. Hips started to pop to the beat of the drums as (Y/N) smiled and danced forward. Buggy whole body froze like he was hypnotized, his eyes never leaving their form- How their body curved in the corset and how their hips jiggled and shook with each turn. The way their flashy makeup caught the light making them look like a true star. The too tall heels clicking with the beat as they did amazing jaw dropping moves and even slipping into a deep split, shaking their ass a little at the audience as they sauntered up once again.

People starting to clap to the beat as they watched them dance, Sinking along to the music as the performer pulled at the laces of their corset. Rocking their hips to the beat before with a flashy pose shed the corset and tossed it to the side, showing the dazzling tassel pasties on their chest which shook and twirled brilliantly.

Buggy left like his lungs were burning, his eyes glued to the performer and a uncomforble tightening of his trousers not helping either. It was almost ridiculous, the flashy dances and explicit comical manner just hit his brain right in every way. The crowd laughed, clapped and sang along with them and Buggy just watched- His eyes never leaving them for a second.

By the time the show ended Buggy felt like he was salivating, He didn't even care that his crew was genuinely clapping for someone else- He had his eyes on his prey and he wasn't planning on letting it go. He grabbed Cabaji hard by his collar and brought him close. A crazed grin spread on his lips.

"Ready the crew- We're taking this village after all.. I'm going after my New favorite act-"

(Y/N) sat back stage in their changing room, smiling as they took a seat at the vanity to start taking off the makeup of the night. The show had been going off without a hitch, as most nights. While they did travel to different villages for shows their favorite was these small places. While the pay wasn't anything grand it was the few people that did attend and the staff that hosted them. They were always the nicest and appreciated burlesque the most. (Y/N) started to take off the blue rhinestone earrings, Their was quite a lot of people for such a small town- That and there was a man in a cloak.. While their face wasn't shown his eyes- they stared at them so intently. Almost sent a chill up their spine.

Then a knock snapped them from their thoughts. Assuming it was one of the staff.

"Oh- Im still getting undressed just a bit longer please!" They called out. Quickly grabbing the makeup wipes to start, but froze as the sound of heavy footsteps sounded, a shadowy cloaked figure now in their doorway. Whipping around they stared in fear-

"H-How did you?" (Y/N) started as they stood up, their fingers hovering over a robe to at least cover themselves up- However they instead left something.. Fleshy? Looking down a severed hand holding the robe before waving at them. Opening their mouth to scream but the floating hand slammed into their lips sealing it from the scream.

The cloaked man laughed loudly at this, Pulling away his cloak as Buggy slowed to a chuckling at this as he stepped forward, tapping his boots mildly as he walked in further and closing the door behind him.

"I gotta say, That was a absouely ravenous performance. Almost as good as myself~"

He stepped closer, now inches from (Y/N) who was trembling standing there with the hand still tightly over their lips. Taking his free hand he carefully ran it up their form, Playing with the tassels of their costume. Tilting his head in delight as his eyes ranked their body- Not even bothering to hide his own arousal.

The muffled sounds of Buggy's crew starting to pillage the small village, screams of terror and crashing adding a eerie ambiance to the small room. (Y/N) trembled from his touch and the sound of the poor village being ripped apart.

"Usually I love being on stage, the people clapping and loving me. watching us in delight. I never am in someone else audience or a fan of someone else in the spotlight-"

He removed his hand from their lips, Smiling at the smeared makeup on their face. He practically moaned at the sight. He couldn't wait to see their mascara running down their face and lips bruised with what he was gonna do to them- He started to pull at what was left from their costume, feeling them trying to resist and even attempt to grab his wrist to stop.

Chuckling at the pathetic act he slapped their hands away from what he wanted- Ripping away the dazzling chest pasty on their chest savoring the pained cry that left them and how red their poor nipple looked.

"But for you,"

Buggy grinned widely, his watercolor eyes seemed to darken with lust as he reached forward and slammed his palms hard on the back wall on either side of (Y/N) head, Trapping them with no way to escape. A Rush of emotions flooded over (Y/N) and they had to lean back for support to keep from falling to their knees in fear. The smell of citrus, candy and sea air flooded their lungs as Buggy leaned in leaving a trail of love bites up their neck to their ear as he whispered.

"Im your biggest fan~"