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#future which is why this is no longer
undercovercannibal · 2 years
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Scene: Hannibal 2x13 Mizumono / Dialogue: Hannibal 3x04 Aperitivo
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year
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Hey, Star Trek Writers... -taps the glass-
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softerhaze · 1 year
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idk if it was the venus retrograde or what, but july 2023 was quite literally the worst month i've ever experienced in my life like.....every single day? awful? worse than the last? it's more likely than u think
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andr0nap · 5 months
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You mentioned the deal w seeds in the plane au — what IS the deal w seeds in this au, if you don’t mind me asking?? 👀
bwah okay its not that much different from canon. they were still a deep space colonization fleet but in this au their mission was technically a success
seeds established an research outpost on no mans land to study the planet and test it for potential permanent habitation in the future. basically the fall doesnt happen. or at least not when and how it does in canon
vash and nai were born when seeds began constructing proper long term facilities on the surface
2 years later the research facilities have turned into small cities, terraforming projects kicked into gear and a decent human population was slowly being woken up from cold sleep. the colonization mission for this fleet was deemed a success
the twins were part of a project testing independent plant capabilities and the utility potential of reality bending (the ability to both power and control machines and expanding the storage capacity of small fast aircraft for transportation efficiency), later named project gemini in their honor. during that time the jets g-01 and g-02 and their prototype engines were constructed
at some point nai found detailed info on the project and noticed the discrepancy in their unit numbers, their engines being numbered 02 and 03 in the blueprints. more digging led to the discovery of tesla and her fate as an integrated part of the fleets onboard ai, knives went mad and began plotting the downfall of humanity. over a few weeks he secretly gained control over the local aircraft fleet and one of the production lines and launched an assault on the main ships in orbit
the one man war against seeds (and poor vash, who was caught in the crossfire, not wanting to fight either of them and trying to stop them from fighting each other) lasts a few decades and only ceases when nai shoots his brother out of the sky by accident
by then little was left of the original seeds project, losing the battle in the end. the sky and desert are a graveyard of ships and aircraft a century later. most of humanity doesnt remember the project or know what happened. a majority of the population abandoned seeds and fled the facilities to establish their own settlements during the war
and thats the deal with seeds! i think? did it explain anything? i got so caught up in writing this that i wrote down some of the early plot dhgfjhdfg
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outlying-hyppocrate · 1 month
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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kiaxet · 1 year
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Once again, the latest update from @somerandomdudelmao has left me fully in my feelings, and so I come to you with ~900 words of emotion.
(This one is a rough one: content warnings for death, sibling death, self-sacrifice, and just general despair. Y'all have read the update. You know what we're doing here.)
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It's supposed to be over.
Master Michelangelo-
(No, no, he's never thought of himself that way. No matter how many times he's been called Master Michelangelo, in his own head he's still just Mikey.)
-Mikey has given everything. He'd opened the portal, watched his own mystic energy - grown larger and stronger with each battle even as it consumed his youth and his very life as its fuel - tear through his arms, cracks traveling up his body until the force of it shattered his form, consuming everything that kept him bound to the physical plane in order to form one last-ditch attempt at setting things right.
He'd managed a wink and a smile, and then he'd died.
And yet he's still here. Why-
The promise. The caveat to the plan. Leo.
Leo had refused to leave him alone at the end, and Mikey will be damned before he refuses to return the favor.
Not that there'll be anything left to damn. The family's Ninpo is what connected them to the Hamato afterlife, and Mikey's is shattered, expended to give Casey a better chance at life. At this point, he's held together with the metaphysical equivalent of duct tape and spite - Donnie's favorite building materials when supplies ran short.
(Donnie's gone. Mikey failed him - failed to catch the infection, failed to cure it, failed to find his spirit amongst the Hamato ancestors. The Krang had obliterated him, and Mikey had failed to help until it was too late.)
(He can't find Raph among the ancestors, either. One more big brother failed.)
(He knows there won't be much left of Leo - not after Leo spent so long being Mikey's living shield, letting the Krang tear into his Ninpo time and time again in order to keep Mikey's intact - but he won't fail Leo. He can't. He can't.)
He's still here, for now, and that has to be good enough. He levitates, surveying a battlefield gone cold in the wake of an overwhelming Krang victory, and goes in search of his last remaining brother.
Leo's corpse isn't far - Mikey spots it near where the portal had been, face down in rock that had been blasted smooth and clean. Krang laser. There's no surviving those.
His gaze flickers upwards across the horizon, and he sees something glow near the corpse, a white outline coming into being before the color follows after, taking a familiar shape. It's-
It's Casey-
It's Casey, but he looks different. Better. His clothes are intact and clean - brand new, from the looks of it. His hair is washed and fluffy. His face and arms have filled out and his shoulders broadened, like he'd been getting good food and enough of it. He doesn't look like the Casey Mikey had made a portal for minutes ago; he looks like how they'd all wanted Casey to look, like he's finally getting what they would have killed to have been able to provide for him. He looks like a dream.
And that's how Mikey knows it's a lie.
It's the Krang. The Krang have done something, made one final twist of the knife that's been stuck in Leo's heart since the night they lost the Key - for all Mikey knows, they're going to use it to desecrate his brother's body, and he is not letting that happen. He zooms closer to Leo's corpse-
"We did it, Mikey, we got him out-"
-and feels the world tilt.
That's not Leo's corpse, because Leo's not dead. He's clinging to life, muttering nonstop in a voice barely above a whisper - he's not long for this world, but he's still here-
The lie cries out in Casey's voice and makes for his brother-
And Mikey lashes out, magic coming to his hands as easily as it ever did. It's not enough to incinerate the lie - the thing is too smart, too quick, and pulls back with only an injury to its arm. That's enough of an opening for Mikey to land in front of Leo, snarling at the lie wearing his nephew's face. "Don't. Touch. Him!" That's his brother. That's his brother. That's the only brother he has left, and he won't have him for long, but that doesn't mean the Krang can take him! "Whatever Krang trick you are-"
Spite, while fun, is no substitute for engineering. Donnie had told him that once.
The spite - and whatever else is holding him together at this point - gives out, the collapse manifesting as pain, and Mikey folds in on himself with a groan. He can fight - he will fight - but if the lie forces combat, then fighting will be the last thing he'll ever do, and Leo will die alone.
He can't. He just…he can't.
He drops to his knees, laying a spectral hand on Leo's head. Leo doesn't react - his Ninpo is shattered to begin with, and Mikey wouldn't be surprised if death's door has robbed Leo of his senses as it is - and just keeps talking.
"We got Casey through the portal, he'll be okay, he'll get to grow up without all of this, we did it, we- we- we did it, Mikey-"
Mikey kneels there, one hand on his inert brother's head as Leo's life slowly sputters out. Eventually he'll die, and what fragments are left of his spirit will disintegrate, too shattered by years of warfare to persist after death, and Mikey will let himself fade along with them. Together until the rapidly approaching end, like they'd promised.
He kneels, and waits for oblivion to come.
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asjjohnson · 2 years
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I had a thought in October about what if, in the TUE episode, Danny returning to his time was more complicated than just finding Vlad.
I made a gif out of a little sketch story thing I've made based on that thought (it's part one, out of... two? three? I haven't finished it yet so I'm not sure. But I thought this was a good place to stop for the gif.)
The story starts during the episode, right after the older Vlad removes the fused time medallion. The basic thought is that Danny doesn't make it to Vlad soon enough (plus I have some fun with an idea that the medallions have different models).
(The only way I know to start the gif over is to refresh the page. Oh, but first try clicking on the gif.)
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Under the cut are the still pictures, as well as a written version. (...I 've spent too much time on this.)
Here's the still pictures.
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And here's a written form. (...I'm not good at only giving the words with basic description. It was nearly unreadable that way. So I tried storyifying it. Just a little bit. It includes actions that are implied in the images but not specifically shown.)
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Within Vlad's cave, in the future, Danny Phantom asks, "It didn’t work?"
Several feet away from him, the older Vlad stares down at the time medallion—still in the palm of the gauntlet he'd used to pull it out of Danny.
The medallion has a central piece with an entwined letter 'C' and 'W'. Above this, in fine print, are the words 'Back' and 'Forward', with corresponding arrows pointing counterclockwise and clockwise. And, below the C/W logo, are the words '10yr model'.
"…Perhaps something had happened…" Vlad says, "causing you to no longer be recognized by your time."
"But Sam and Tucker made it back just fine!" Danny says in confusion.
However, Danny doesn't give Vlad time to come up with any theories. "My future self is in the past, trying to force this future to happen. I need to get back to my time before it’s too late."
Vlad gives Danny a pitying look. "My boy, it may already be too late."
"No. I can’t accept that." Danny walks over to Vlad, raising one hand, palm up. "Here, let me see the medallion." Vlad drops the medallion into Danny's awaiting palm.
Danny looks at the back side of the medallion, saying, "If he was able to use one to go to my time, then I can, too."
The back of the medallion is undesigned smooth metal, but it's engraved with instructions. It reads, "Time anchor and travel device combination. Single use. Up to ten years forward or back. Simply remove to return to own time." And, beneath that, "Please recycle."
Danny puts the medallion around his neck and twists the front face counterclockwise, saying to himself, "I better turn it as far as it will go."
Before he even lets go of the medallion's face, a swirling bubble encompasses him, and then the bubble fades away.
Danny turns to look at the scenery. He's still in the cave—he sees the same cave formations—but, while there used to be a large, desk-like computer console and some lab equipment, now there's only a blank cave wall, and no sign of Vlad. "I guess it worked," he says. Then he flies through the cave.
A while later, after flying all the way to Amity Park, Danny hovers in the air, over the place the Nasty Burger used to be. Now there is only a large scorchmark, and a bewildered-looking version of Danny Fenton sitting in the middle of it.
"Oh no, I didn’t get here in time."
Danny has gone exactly ten years into the past, along the timeline he had started from. (In the corresponding sketch, this information is given by a narration rectangle that reads, "Exactly 10 yrs earlier in original timeline." ...Although that's not exactly true because it was exactly ten years when he first appeared in the cave, and it took time to get from Wisconsin to Amity Park. But the point is that Danny hadn't traveled far enough back in time to reach the intersection of the two timelines.)
Danny flies away, saying, "There must be a way to go farther back!"
The version of Danny Fenton left sitting on the scorched ground thinks, "Maybe I should move in with Vlad."
Some time later, Danny is flying through the Ghost Zone.
"I have no idea what the outside of Clockwork’s lair looks like. I’ll just need to trust I’ll know it when I see it."
Around him are floating doors and swirling patterns, as well as some kind of gear-themed castle that Danny has already passed (it's Clockwork's lair).
Danny turns his head. He doesn't notice the Fenton Boomerang approaching from the other side.
The Boomerang hits him in the back of the head.
"Ow!" Danny grabs the Boomerang and rubs his head. He scolds it like a disobedient pet, saying, "I look away for one second."
"Look," Danny orders, and uses his other hand to reach into his pocket, pulling out Jazz's note and unfolding it with a jerk of his wrist, "I already have one."
He throws the Boomerang. "Go find past me—or the me in the future? Whatever."
The note slips out of his hand.
"No!" He spins around, reaching for it.
"What are you doing way out here, Baby Pop?"
Danny pauses on hearing the voice.
He turns toward the voice and sees a maliciously grinning Ember McClain. "Ember? I don’t have time for this!"
"Well, you better make time. How about some killer volume?" Ember strums her guitar, and a spiral of energy shoots toward Danny.
"I seriously don’t have time! But you want volume? Fine! How’s thiiis?!" He transitions into his Ghostly Wail.
The Wail overpowers Ember's attack and blasts her through the air. She's pushed onto a chunk of floating ground.
The Wail ends, and Ember looks up in surprise and fear. There's a thin stream of ectoplasm leaking from the corner of her mouth. She puts a hand to her mouth and pulls it back to see ectoplasm on her palm.
Then she glares up at Danny. She coughs, and hoarsely says, "I won’t forget this."
Danny's just as horrified as she was. Wide-eyed, he subconsciously leans back, but also reaches a hand toward her in concern. "Wait, I didn’t mean to…"
But then he drops his hand and looks away, his expression hardening. "Never mind. Once I return to the right time, this will never have happened."
Assuming Jazz's note is a lost cause by now, he flies off, leaving Ember on the chunk of rock.
An unknown time later, Danny is in the Ghost Zone, hovering in place. He now has Jazz's headband tied to his belt, and he reaches a hand toward it, and rubs the material between his fingers. He says, "Jazz… Everyone… I’ll find my way back to you."
The camera moves upward until Danny's shoulder and half of his head is visible. His hair is a little longer now, and the shoulder part of his outfit is different. He continues, "No matter how long it takes."
#danny phantom#dp#danny fenton#the ultimate enemy#ember mclain#future!vlad#blood#what if#asj post#asj art#asj writing#I had considered adding a scene where Danny takes off the medallion and still nothing happens and he tosses it and flies off.#(Because Danny no longer belongs to a certain time to jump back to.)#And then Clockwork appears from a time portal and asks himself why no one ever recycles these.#...But then adding that scene would've taken longer.#I couldn't decide which art style to use (series style or other style). So I'd mixed them. The simplest of both.#The Booomerang being in this timeline doesn't make sense#unless each timeline's Danny has a different ecto-signature and the Booomerang can travel between dimensions. Could've found a door portal.#...It depends on your headcanon. Probably canon that everything leads to each other (except the start and end which doesn't quite fit).#Although this au still has looping. ...So it should be canon time travel... except I'm going with a more clear linear thing.#I'm... probably using Back to the Future theory when I think about it.#...I could draw a diagram. (but mainly the Booomerang can move between divergent timelines. Jazz couldn't have sent that note originally.)#(I mean unless there was no 'originally' in the episode and Dan had created himself over and over until Clockwork had broken the loop.#...but that's harder to make sense than a dimension-hopping gadget. It does sound like a time travel short-story I'd read once though.)#Me (to myself): This is supposed to be a tragic angsty story. So stop adding jokes to it!#Also me: Oh here's another place I can add a joke.#My computer's messed up so Photoshop isn't working right but I can still use it to edit.#When I'd typed on top of my handwriting it kept leaving out letters. Especially for double letters (like 'leter'). Because it's slow.#I think I've found and fixed all of them now.#I'm bored and have hit the tag limit. can I go ahead and post this now? ...will anyone see it this early in the day?
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early-october-skies · 5 months
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Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees
#lizzierants#had a sudden unplanned job interview today. i wanted to cry the whole time but managed to keep it together and now the anxiety has suddenly#caught up to me and it feels BAD the sudden thought of that what if my friends just dont actually like me and they like me purely because#theyre worried for what would become of me if they stopped being friends with me when purely of course id be fine eventually but i worry#that cause im on antidepressants people just think im automatically suicidal when something bad goes wrong which is not the case im doing#good i dont want to die but what if all my friends hate me what if this whole time i have loved them so so much and they just tolerate me#someday my friends will die and i had that i hate that someday we wont be friends even if its decades in the future i love all of them with#my heart that sometimes i feel it is overfilling i love them i love them and what am i without them i am everything i have ever loved i am#overthinking however i cannot stop this what if my own best friend is avoiding me? why am i thinking this? what evidence do i have to back#this up? nothing only for the fact my own brain feels as though i love people too much and they are uncomfortable with it i feel awful wtf#i have learned to keep my emotions from people because i dont want them to worry. i dont want people to do something or not do something bec#ause they think it will upset me i want people do do as they please i want to be open for my friends to share their issues i want to help#and im sitting here wirrying if they hate me so i turn here to shout in the void because the only person i know irl who follows me on here#most likely doesnt read these tags and if you are please ingore this i misjudged your terrible attention span also i love you very much#anyway a few weeks ago i realised my worst fear is no longer death. but the death of my friendship with my beloved friend. and thats fucking#terrifying prospect however if they were to be like yo i dont like you anymore id respect that decision and id be okay because their happine#is the most important thing to me and thats okay but i couldnt bare with the fact that they feel like they had to be ffiends with me because#they have to. i hate the prospect of them feeling trapped in a friendship theh dont want to be in. all the while i feel i cannot communicate#this to anyone because how would i go about it im very anxious i am shaking i am having a bad time very bad time actually im going to start#crying but its okay <3 crying is good for stress and health and its been a while since ive cried so maybe this will help me feel better <3#i will heal and ill be okay <3
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loveoaths · 2 years
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i think about the droid/automaton temple guardians a lot. like--
they aren't alive, but they aren't not alive, either. they have varying degrees of sentience. they remember the jedi, some of them outlive the purge, knowing the jedi are gone save for whatever knowledge they've squirreled away in their memory banks.
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cator, the droid guarding the jedi temple archives with jocasta nu, had a personality. he was serious about protecting and sheltering the jedi's knowledge and their history, so dedicated that he stood up to darth vader in an attempt to keep the list of force-sensitive children safe. sure, it was in his protocol to guard the archives, but he didn't have to care, or love it, or want to do this; we see many droids across star wars who do not give a single shit about their programmed duties, while still executing them.
but cator works hard, diligently and carefully, because cator loved his work, and he loved the jedi.
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T0-B1 loved his jedi master so much! and his master loved him so much that he powered T0-B1 with the kyber crystal from his lightsaber! of course jedi wants to be a jedi. of course he wants to fight and protect and preserve life, not because he was programmed for it, because he wasn't, but because he wants to honor the man who gave his life to save him -- him, a "meaningless droid"!
then there are the tomb guardians on zeffo.
thousands upon thousands of years they've stood guard over the secrets of their creators, a species so powerful and gifted with the force that they were their own undoing. do the guardians know they're guarding tombs, or do they believe their masters will return some day from the other side of the veil, and the guardians will be there, waiting, stalwart sentinels ready to welcome them home? if they do know, did they mourn? could they have walked away from their posts but instead chose to stay, to keep the zeffo graves from being desecrated, because they'd rather the world forget their masters than allow them to suffer indignity?
did the guardians love the zeffo? surely they must have, without question.
the real question is: did the zeffo who whispered metal ore from the stone and gave them shape, gave them sentience, gave them purpose, love them back? they must have, in the way we all love the work of our hands.
but perhaps the most pressing question is:
long after their circuitry should have degraded, their power cores cracked and dripped empty, their shiny metal carapaces rusted off like so much disease -- what could it be that keeps these machines moving but their love for those who no longer exist anywhere but their memory?
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how could you not love and be loved by something that made you, purposefully, in its image?????????
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waywardsalt · 1 year
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uuuhhhhh wrote a segment of the ganonbeck thing on my phone (this whole thing isnt written on my phone i just have future scenes hashed out on phone) so i figured id share it for: giving a snippet of it bc why not, and to maybe get some feedback on writing ganondorf and the specific concept he talks about?
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(this isnt indicatives of the whole fic just a scene delving into ganondorf’s personal conflicts and a little bit of worldbuilding or something. would appreciate some feedback or tips or whatever on this since im not sure if. i wrote this idea well. also hope its generally interesting/fun to read)
#salty talks#tbh tho i think this does kinda set up the dynamic between them and why ganondorf is drawn to linebeck maybe#linebeck is. hes funny in a good mood. he helps lighten ganondorfs mood and helps him disengage from serious stuff#he is also supportive of him fucking killing the king of hyrule. but hes mostly someone that helps ganondorf loosen up#ganondorf is this cunning wise man who holds lofty ambitions and is influenced by the history of his people and lets it motivate him#and linebeck is the image of the cat with the label ‘father i crave violence’ hes a lil ooc and chaotic but he thinks the hylian king sucks#this fic is mostly a lighthearted gay little thing where theyre both in lighter moods exploring the desert#but does have snippets like this about ganondorfs discontent with the hylian kingdom and linebeck struggling with his mental health#making it so it doesnt really exist in a vacuum and can feed into a possible future longer au fic idea#tbh been leaning into linebeck having a similar distaste for the hylian monarchy to ganondorf and carrying it into post ph#which fits in neatly with the headcanon that he is half gerudo so. pieces fitting together#this is mostly unedited btw so if it comes off as rough then yeah. its a first draft#topical with people talking more about the uncomfy way the zelda games approach imperialism n stuff#so i mostly worry about how i write about it here cuz its a concept im still new to and not sure how to really approach#if you saw the version with the images in the wrong order no you didnt#but seriously please let me know how i did writing what ganondorf talks about handling him is scary to me and i want to do good#ganonbeck#linebeck#ganondorf#they are tagged now rejoice
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commanderfloppy · 2 years
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Gw2 Huevember Week 4
I've been thinking a lot about Laurence and his past recently, and this cool color-scheme really went with the feeling.
Though he later found ways to escape it, there was an incredibly tight grip on his life. His purpose was to be perfect, be beautiful, be a shining jewel for the Bellamy family, not as an heir but as a trinket.
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silvreflames · 1 year
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things you'll be hard pressed to learn about nesta from nesta so i am telling you, pt 1:
the grooming she was made to endure at the hands of her own mother to prepare her for marriage, first in the hopes of securing her family's place in society and then in saving her family from poverty
#aka phase one in the death of an openly soft-hearted nesta#her mother did everything in her power to shape nesta into ~wifey material~ at the expense of a healthy relationship with her daughter#and also at the detriment to said daughter#and as much as nesta had been taught that her only worth was what she could do for others#particularly her family but also for men (i.e. a future husband).#in some ways. there is freedom in fulfilling this sense of duty that was practically beaten into her from a very young age#if she can just save her family. if she can protect her sisters.#nesta was to be the 'breeding mare' of her family. that was what she was raised to be. in order to take care of her sisters#to save them from the fate of a loveless marriage of a cruel husband of the scorn of her parents and of society#and when she failed again and again to be successful in securing this future for all of them#she was subjected to her mother's ire. her father's disdain. her sisters' unspoken disappointment.#the last thing her mother said to her before she died was that she was born wrong.#that she was a waste.#and then every person she met after that said essentially the same thing in one way or another#and i think that this is the exact way that nesta views herself#privately of course though it wouldn't be difficult to see this if anyone bothered to pay attention#and even though she is no longer shackled to the human's way of life and those societal expectations attached to it#she still upholds the expectation that she must be the one who sacrifices in order to keep her sisters safe#that's why she hated rh.ysand [disgust]. because he took away f.eyre's choice which meant that nesta didn't keep her sister safe#she was made fae and humans hate fae and there was no chance she could save her family#i have a lot to say about the misogyny that is rampant in this stupid series but it's also deeply connected to who nesta is as a person#why she is the way she is#and how i will use it to unwrap her. to see her through her healing process.#desperately desperately itching for an emerie. for a gwyn. perhaps i will drabble some things to make up for it#they are so integral to nesta's growth and healing#a sisterhood that chose her and that she chose#one that she can love right because she never could with her blood sisters#emerie and gwyn love nesta so much just the way she is and i love them too for it!!!!!!!!!!
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longagoitwastuesday · 2 years
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#I talk too much#Cyrano de Bergerac#I feel like dying because of this play again. I don't know if in a good or bad way#I feel exhilarated and nervous and I would like to drink existence from a silver cup‚#but at the same time existence is hazy and misty and barely there at all#All that seems real is that which is nor real. The concept of what is written as if in its platonic form#and not even the words on paper that make me want to tear my chest apart and left me frustrated and trembling with emotion in equal parts#All that seems real is the shadow of someone desperate begging to someone else to not call a third person. And that's it. That's all#All of existence‚ past‚ present and future‚ is sustained just by the emotivity that evokes a scene that never took place#The condition of possibility of this scene existing in some way‚ even in a falsehood‚ as cause of reality itself#What I mean is that I'm reading and it feels like this is all there is to existence‚#but in a falling onto the realisation that is more a forgetting life than anything else‚#and yet that forgetfulness tastes like the closest rawest way of feeling alive#What I mean is that I'm reading and forgetting I exist while feeling more alive than I've felt in years‚#so alive I am no longer here‚ a 'no longer here' more present than anywhere else I've been in years#What I mean is that I'm reading and it's such a joy I wish I could die of it‚ to make it stop‚ because of how much it hurts#But the blood tastes so sweet I wouldn't change it for anything#I should probably delete this later#And read something else‚ or go back to not reading and do something useful#This is why I stopped reading. I'm unable to have a normal life if I love something‚ entirely incapable of getting anything of profit done
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lavenderjewels · 2 years
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discussing jjk 206 in the tags below
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thebookworm0001 · 2 years
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Something something the futuristic tech in Alien being very clunky and slow similarly to the tech of the time that it was made is humorous in retrospect but also serves as a genuine point of tension in the franchise
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wish I was capable of articulating why I've been nonstop head in my hands about YJTV Bart and Jaime the last week or so but honestly I've got nothing. they're a lot and I dunno how to explain it. very important to me though
#give me like another week maybe idk i need to figure out why exactly I'm so emotional over them#it's like... jaime's a normal kid until he's Not and lbr he gets less normal by the day#and then bam there's suddenly a kid from the literal future who came back JUST FOR HIM#like... WILD#and bart? 100% did not plan to imprint on the guy he's trying to keep from going evil#and you can TELL but you can also tell he doesn't actually mind. jaime is nice to him and doesn't mind being attached at the hip#and that's enough for bart. they become besties in like 0.5 seconds and it's precious actually#like... idk man the fact that their friendship is actually a core detail in the whole yknow saving the world thing???#bc if bart HADN'T gotten to friendly would things have gone differently?? if jaime was less open to said friendship??#if they weren't both so willing to be open with each other and then stick together??? how much longer would it have taken#for the rest of the team to find out about the reach's control of the scarab? how much less prepared would jaime have been#for basically everything that happens all season??#like yeah he gets all anxious about practically having a prophecy over his head but at the same time the fact that bart is even THERE#is proof that said ''prophecy'' isn't set in stone.#bart sticks real close to jaime both bc 1) jaime is his mission objective as it were) and also 2) he's kinda a lonely kid#and he and jaime have a connection from the get-go bc of the time travel thing#and has bart ever really had friends his own age before???#lowkey it's almost like they're each other's security blanket of a person#not in a weird codependent way just in a friends who relax a bit more when they're together than with anyone else#bc bart can (theoretically) help and/or stop jaime if his scarab takes over which = success and safety for him (and everyone else)#and jaime KNOWS that and knows bart is prepared for the eventuality which also puts him a bit more at ease#idk I'm just throwing stones at the water and hoping they skip but OUGH peak dynamic actually#Lu rambles#...slightly more unhingedly than normal maybe#yjtv#meta finding tag#for my tags#yeah idk just. many thoughts and feels :)
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