#funsucker

[therewillbekpop]

[neurodivenport]

i think the reason why people tend to like douglas and not donald even though they're both horrible people is like... they at least address that part of douglas normally. like they make comments about evil and fucked up he is. whenever they talk about donald being that way they redeem him or end up trying to make it out like he's a good dad. like. no he's not. it's okay to not let him be. you're doing perfectly fine portraying douglas as a dickhead. you can do it for donald who is just as bad

[thelastattempt]

I agree that Louis looked annoyed in places. I think it's just that this bodyguard is new to all the barricade chaos and doesn't really know how to deal with it. He takes his job too seriously, tbh he looked so stressed everytime Louis was near barricade 😭. Even that video everyone was talking about i feel like Louis did that double take in a who tf is touching my tummy kind of way, before he realized it was just the bodyguard ofc 🤣. Idk about #that group of weirdos but louies are just joking around and having fun it's not that serious

Right?! Yes, the look-back after the bodyslide and stomach stroke was a little uncomfortable to watch actually. Not because it was in any way intentional by the bodyguard - I think - but because Louis looked genuinely confused.

And then when they dragged him out the crowd and he literally ripped himself away from them with force. That wasn’t just ‘aw, guys, please?!’ that was ‘get off of me, I’m fucking fine’ 😭😭 and directed at both bodyguards.

Like, I’m sure the guy is new and I’m equally sure Louis has barely given it any further thought; but yeah… flip sides of the coin because I haven’t seen this perspective discussed much.

[dougielombax]

Funsuckers?!

Sounds like a lost Stephen King novel from the early 1990s.

[scaryscarecrows]

Whumpee Using Themself as Bait

“The little bastards know we’re looking,” Rogers says glumly. “And since half the cameras in this town are literal ass, there’s only so much I can do.”

Yeah. That’s why they’d deployed the shields. Well, partly as cameras and partly to bolster the drone network, because you can never be too careful. But fucking Batman had wandered around shooting them for…honestly, Jason’s not sure. Petty? OCD? Bruce is bad about that. It’s why he always goes along with Riddler’s crap.

“So we have to draw them out.”

“Basically.”

“What have you heard?”

“They blame you,” comes the quick reply. “I’m not even kidding. The one bit of club footage I managed to find was not nice. They want you like, staked out and flayed alive on a rooftop.”

Yeah, that seems fair. Jason had been a problem even before his unasked-for rescue, and now there’s a lot of angry mobsters trying to pick up the pieces of a broken organization.

Hm.

“How much damage can they really do?” Rogers continues. “No more boss, no more influence.”

“Petrov will try to rebuild,” Jason says glumly. “Killing me would definitely get people to go with him.”

“That’s unfair,” Drouot complains. Ages laughs.

“That’s what we thought, all those times the boss left you in charge.”

Jason thinks back to the one time Drouot was sick–seriously sick, stuck in medical sick–, remembers the absolute clusterfuck that having Dylan as his second in command had caused, and decides to just move things along.

“So we don’t know where he’s holed up, so we can either wait for him to make a move or goad him into doing something.” Great. “I’d rather goad him; Petrov was one of Sionis’ favorites for a reason.”

“Does he also like playing with power drills?” Jones says dryly. Jason grimaces. He’s not been entirely forgiven for going out last night, even though it was a light patrol. He had to go. He came back from his Mandatory Recovery Vacation to rumors that he was dead, he can’t let that shit slide. It’s not like he did anything strenuous. Just put in enough of an appearance for a couple of kids with phones to get a blurry picture.

And scared the shit out of a would-be mugger, he did that too, but he didn’t even lay a finger on the guy. Just waved.

Point is, he’s healed enough. It’s fine. Jones’ insistence that this meeting be conducted in his room so he can stay in bed is ridiculous, but fighting with the medic never ends well.

“He’s more of a table saw kind of guy.”

“Hm.”

Jason sighs and reaches for his tea, ignoring the slight pull in his stomach at the twisting motion. 

“Petrov might try to do business with somebody else, build back up a bit,” he says. “If it’s Two-Face, that’s a dead end, but if it’s Penguin, Dove might mention it.”

Might. Big fat might. She was not happy with him last night. First there’d been crying, which had been fairly well traumatizing, and then there’d been an earful about ‘let fucking Batman deal with this’ and ‘could have at least sent a text message’ with a heaping helping of ‘can’t even blame Joker, you’ve always been this goddamn dumb’ and ‘self-sacrificing bullshit, let people fend for their fucking selves’.

It had been a little bad.

“And if he doesn’t, or it’s not?”

“Then I’ll draw him out.”

The resulting explosion was not planned for.

“Bull-fucking-shit–”

“Absolutely not–”

“Goddamn idiot, I did not keep your ass alive just so you can go die later–”

Uh. What’s the problem? It’s a perfectly reasonable plan. He’s the one they want, so he will go and either get himself caught or get himself cornered enough to convince Petrov to come out of hiding. Then he can finish this and Rogers can put a nice, big, red CLOSED on the file in the computer.

“He doesn’t want you,” he explains once the ruckus has died down. “He wants me.”

Dylan huffs.

I could hide in a backpack, he says, and when they bring it inside, I can pop out like a Jack-in-the-box from Hell.

…

…

“Absolutely not.”

What? Why! Funsucker.

First of all, that’s dangerous. Second of all, leave the backpack where? Christ.

“Absolutely not,” he says again. “You know this is the best option.”

“We don’t,” Drouot says bluntly. “Sometimes I think you might actually be stupid. The fuck. This is a shit plan.”

“We’re not doing it,” Clyde, the traitor, confirms. “We’re coming up with something else.”

* * *

“I cannot believe we couldn’t come up with something else.”

Jason looks self-pityingly at the ceiling. He told them. He told them this was the best option. If they didn’t want to believe him, that’s not his problem.

It had been a pain in the ass to even get to this point. They’d had to wait two more weeks already, to try and get an idea of where to even attempt it. But they’d gotten lucky: Petrov had put a bounty out, and that had cinched it. Jason had gone to the trouble of hanging around the docks for three nights running, and now, on the fourth night, it looks like they’ve got a bite.

“Outside bugs picking up on an ambush, boss,” Rogers reports. Jones mutters something about leaving him to his stupidity. “Looks like…eight or nine? Armed.”

“So I can kill four or five and it’ll still be believable.”

“Around there.”

“I still think this is the second-worst possible plan.”

Second worst? There were some pretty bad ones, and he knows they all hate this one (it’s not ideal, but come on), but still.

“Well, it’s the plan.”

“And it sucks–”

“Here they come,” Rogers says suddenly. Jason grins under his helmet. Time to play the surprised sucker he hasn’t been since…jeeze, since the Joker got the drop on him.

(So he’s made sure, damn sure, that that won’t happen again. So sue him.)

The plan was to kill three before starting to flag. Letting himself be captured is going to hurt, and he knows it. He can’t surrender or they’ll suspect something’s up. He has to let them subdue him, or at least get enough hits in that they’ll think that’s what’s happened.

That was the plan.

The reality is that one of them gets a lucky hit on his stomach with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire and drops him.

Owowowowowowowow.

He shoots that one, but before he can get to his feet, he’s been converged on and stripped of his guns before being hauled to his knees.

“Came back too soon?” one of them, a rat-faced little man, sneers. “Sucks to be you, but great for us.” He picks up the fallen bat and it takes everything in him not to try and fight his way out of this. “We’re gonna get a lot of money for you, pal.”

“No, you won’t.”

“I think we will.”

There’s no time to brace himself before the bat slams into his stomach again, making him lurch and try to double over, only to be held back by the guys wrenching his arms behind his back. In his ear, Rogers is frantically asking if they should call this off, and no. This is the best way. They can track him, they can get him out and finish this once Petrov surfaces.

They’ll come.

He’s pretty sure they’ll come for him.

“That the best you got?” he breathes, trying not to throw up inside his helmet. Ratty grins.

“Nah.”

The third hit makes his vision go white.

The eighth finally makes him pass out.

THE END

[1mnobodywhoareyou]

I saw "be reasonable and don't ask for 1k" and felt targeted. Maybe i am the problem.

400 words for the Horror Boggie👻

Better late than never, right?

Unfortunately, it keeps happening. Reggie and Luke pick out some of the scariest movies in the rental stack and Reggie wakes up screaming. It only takes a handful of times before Bobby puts his foot down, refusing to play any horror movies rated higher than PG, much to Luke and Reggie’s chagrin. 

Try as he may, Reggie’s pleading looks just aren’t that effective on thirteen year old Bobby. A thirteen year old Bobby who isn’t fond of his sleep being disturbed on a good day.

It takes a few years for Bobby’s resolve to start crumbling…

“Bobby, c’mon man. We’re not thirteen anymore! I promise I can handle it!” Reggie pleads, desperately wanting to watch the recently released movie that nobody at school can stop talking about. 

Luke drapes his arm around Reggie’s shoulder, painting his face with a pout that matches Reggie’s, “Yeah, Bobs. We’re not kids anymore. Stop being such a funsucker.”

Bobby glares at Luke, “I am NOT a funsucker.”

Luke purses his lips doubtfully, “Mmmm, you kinda are.”

“Reggie doesn’t need to be more traumatized.”

Reggie squeaks, “I am NOT traumatized.”

Bobby stares at him as Luke ruffles Reggie’s hair. 

Reggie turns to glare at Luke before directing his attention back to Bobby. He puts on his most pathetic puppy dog face, fluttering his eyelashes dramatically and clasping his hands under his chin. He and Luke have always known the power their faces hold and regularly use it to their advantage but Reggie’s only recently realized how effective it can be with Bobby. That realization is also accompanied with exploring how far he can take it.

Bobby sighs, “Fine. One time, we can try. But just once.”

Reggie whoops gleefully. 

They settle into their usual spots, which haven’t changed in the last two years, as Bobby sets up his brand new DVD player with the rental. 

Much like when they were thirteen, Reggie and Luke still hide behind Alex and Bobby at the scariest parts. Much like when they were thirteen, Bobby teases Luke about it mercilessly. Much like when they were thirteen, Bobby and Alex share exasperated, though no less amused, looks over the antics of the other boys. Unlike when they were thirteen, these looks now seem to be accompanied by a little more pink on their cheeks than either of them will ever be willing to admit to. 

Unfortunately, much like when they were thirteen, the boys are awoken by Reggie deep in the throes of his most recent nightmare.

Send me a number and I'll write that many words for a WIP

[eggtrolls]

Re: the men in black quote - I think you misinterpreted what the point was haha, the guy said that in response to will smith's character going "wait you're telling me aliens are real? that's not true!" bc everyone thinks what they know is the sole factual truth until it inevitably gets disproved. so people once "knew" the earth being flat is The Truth, until scientists discovered otherwise - who knows what other supposed objective truths of our time will be disproven hundreds of years from now?

great news, you absolutely misinterpreted what I meant.

let's review: the quote in question is, "fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the earth was the center of the universe. five hundred years ago, everybody knew the earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. imagine what you'll know tomorrow."

my tags: #congenital defect to be the funsucker but those first two are obviously and patently untrue. still a fun quote

my meaning: neither of these statements are true because 1500 and 500 years ago, many, many people knew and had known that the earth was not the centre of the universe and that the earth was not flat, respectively.

explanation point A: 1500 years ago puts us at 523 AD.

the first non-geocentric (as in earth is the centre of the universe) model was proposed by Philolaus who died in 390 BC.

the first heliocentric model was proposed Aristarchus of Samos, who lived circa 290 BC.

The classic Tamil work Ciṟupāṇāṟṟuppaṭai from the 3rd-5th century AD by Nattattaṉār is so head in the game that it uses "the sun being orbited by planets" as a metaphor. so people had already, for hundreds of years, known that the earth was not the centre of the universe.

I can kind of see the point on this because the heliocentric model had undergone periods of acceptance and then got shot in the foot with the publication of the Almagest and wouldn't come back into vogue for some time. my point is that plenty of people had already known that the earth wasn't the centre of the universe.

explanation point B: 500 years ago puts us at 1523 AD.

there is no explanation for this. it's straight up lazy writing and historical revisionism and also believing popular and dumb myths.

our main man Pythagoras (6th century BC) proposed a spherical earth. This was followed up by a spherical earth model from no one's main man Aristotle (330 BC). Ptolemy (2nd century AD) made his maps from a globe.

the 5th century AD Indian astronomer Aryabhata (who also had some stuff going with the heliocentric solar system model! crazy!) assumed a spherical earth model in quantitative astronomy models for developing a calendar.

Persian baddie Fakhruddin Razi (1150 – 1209) explicitly said "...because the Earth, even though it is round, is an enormous sphere, and each little part of this enormous sphere, when it is looked at, appears to be flat."

getting closer to the present, Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274) assumed a spherical earth model and that everyone KNEW that the earth was spherical.

for the hat trick, Ferdinand Magellan started his circumnavigation of the earth in 1519 and the ship came back in 1522, almost exactly 500 years ago! fucking Christopher Columbus knew the earth was a sphere!

which is to say: girl, they been knowing that!!! where the fuck have you been that you've been listening to Washington Irving about the idea that medieval (European) people thought that the earth was flat?

explanation point C: there are, effectively, no beliefs that have ever been so agreed on by all of humanity that we can say "everyone" "knew" it. ancient India had atheism. atom theory goes back to ancient Greece. there are plenty of examples of matrilineal and matriarchal societies that actually valued women as people. Thucydides, Lucretius, and Marcus Terentius Varro all had an idea of diseases being spread from an infected person to a healthy person ("there are bred certain minute creatures which cannot be seen by the eyes, which float in the air and enter the body through the mouth and nose and there cause serious diseases"). I point this out because I am a chronic funsucker who loves to nitpick, as I am doing now.

explanation point D: if you think I'm too stupid to understand this incredibly basic and historical oversimplifying ass quote, unfollow me.

[lonelybitchversion]

people who can't suspend their disbelief while watching a tv show or movie are such funsuckers. if ncis suddenly has dinosaurs? cool. witchcraft? my favorite. fake science explanations? fascinating. car movie defying the laws of physics? amazing. i want to be entertained. I don't need things to be "realistic"

[candiphoenixesartblog]

With the current issues going on after this recent Splatfest, let me remind everybody:

-SPLATFESTS ARE NOT THE NINTENDO WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS! THEY ARE INTENDED TO BE A FUN COMPETITION BASED ON OPINIONS, NOT ON WHO’S 🐓 IS BIGGER.

-THE PURPOSE OF SPLATFESTS IS TO PICK AN OPTION BASED ON YOUR PREFERENCES (NOT BECAUSE THE INK LOOKS LIKE “🥛” OR “💩”, OR BECAUSE YOU HAVE A 💦🍆 FOR AN IDOL).

-SPLATFESTS ARE NOT AN END ALL, BE ALL FOR THE SERIES AS A WHOLE! THE ONLY TIME IT IS, IS IN REGARDS TO THE FINAL SPLATFEST! -IF YOUR TEAM LOSES, IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! YEAH, IT MAY BE ANNOYING TO LOSE CONSTANTLY. YEAH, IT MAY SUCK BEING ON THE LOSING TEAM, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, ITS ABOUT HAVING FUN AND GOING ALL IN, 🥎⚾️ OUT! -IF YOU GET ANNOYED WITH MIRROR MATCHES OR YOU GET TIRED OF DISCONNECTS OR LOSSES , TAKE A BREAK. PLAY FETCH WITH FIDO, HUG A TREE, TOUCH GRASS, GET HYDRATED, TAKE A NAP! YOU HAVE A GOOD 2 DAYS TO TAKE PART, YOU DON’T HAVE TO GET TO RULER IN ONE NIGHT!

-IF YOU EASILY GET MAD OR TOXIC ABOUT CONSTANTLY LOSING, SEEK HELP, GO TO COUNSELING, TALK TO THE SHRINK, TAKE A CHILL💊,💨 SOME 🍃, BECAUSE BRINGING TOXICITY TO SOMETHING THAT’S INTENDED TO BE FUN SUCKS THE FUN OUT OF IT AND YOU’RE BEING A FUNSUCKER, WHICH EVERYONE HATES!

-IF YOU SEE A PLAYER BEING TOXIC OR ACTING LIKE AN 🫏, REPORT THEM! YOU CAN EITHER REPORT THEM IN GAME WITH THE MINUS BUTTON OR GO TO THEIR PLAYER PROFILE AND REPORT THEM.

-KEEP IN MIND THAT WHILE SPLATOON IS A FIGHTING GAME WITH A COMPETITIVE ELEMENT, ITS MEANT TO BE A GAME FOR ALL AGES TO ENJOY! ITS NOT FORTNITE, CALL OF DUTY OR PUBG! KEEP THE ADULT LANGUAGE, VULGARITIES, AND GENERAL 🫏 🧢 ANTICS TO THE AFOREMENTIONED GAMES.

-GIVEN I’VE SEEN ALOT OF POSTS ON SPLATOON 3 TODAY THAT ARE REALLY PROBLEMATIC AND COULD RESULT IN PLAYERS GETTING BANNED PERMANENTLY, BE CONSIDERATE OF WHAT YOU POST BECAUSE WHILE ITS VALID TO BE UPSET, THERE IS A RIGHT AND WRONG WAY OF DOING SO. CREATING POSTS THREATENING OTHER PLAYERS WITH “UNALIVING” THEM, SAYING A COMPANY IS “INSERT OBSCENITIES HERE” OR HARASSING OTHER PLAYERS IS THE WRONG WAY AND WILL RESULT IN YOU GETTING MORE TICKED OFF SINCE YOU CAN’T PLAY BECAUSE OF BEING PERMABANNED.

-LASTLY, KEEP IN MIND, AT THE END OF THE DAY, SPLATOON IS A VIDEO GAME THAT TAKES PLACE IN A FICTITIOUS WORLD. WHAT HAPPENS IN GAME IS NOT GONNA AFFECT YOU IN REAL LIFE. IT’S A MEANS OF BLOWING OFF STEAM, NOT AN EXTENSION OF A MEANS TO BULLY AND HARASS PEOPLE.

[ezzydean]

birthday blitz

just a fun little 2k jolt of excitement and fun for my dear @notsuchasecret for their birthday

going back to the original Samezuka Trio content here.  if you want OG Samezuka Trio, shenanigans, tomfoolery, tentative relationship/friendship anarchy, adult language and not so adult actions, and Seijuurou questioning his life choices then this is the thing for you.  if not? that’s cool.  dldr and all that jazz :D

happiest of birthdays my dear gremlin

(click here to read on my tumblr and not on the dash)

Ai rolls over and yanks the blankets away from Rin for the third time in as many minutes and Rin reminds himself that he loves Ai and that wrapping him in the damn blankets like a mummy and throwing him out the window is something he really, really probably shouldn’t do.  He rolls over and buries his face in Seijuurou’s shoulder and listens as he starts taking deep breaths.

Maybe the throwing Ai out the window thing wouldn’t be so bad?  Maybe Seijuurou would go along with it this time?

“Imagine if you could peel your nipples off like a sticker.  And replace them with, I dunno.  googly eyes.”

“Can you, for one night, not talk like a shitpost from 2012 at one in the morning?”

Ai scoffs.  “Can you, for one night, not be a funsucking vampire looking for a snack when I ask you a question?” Ai mocks him.

Seijuurou lets out a sigh so deep it’s almost a growl.  “Can you both, for one night, just shut up and let me sleep?”

Rin rolls over and looks at Ai, eyebrows raised and a smile on his face.  Ai grins back at him, sharp and sweet like only he can really manage.

“Nope,” they shout in unison as they scramble over and around each other in an attempt to wrap Seijuurou in their blankets and roll him off the bed.  Seijuurou lets them for a few seconds before he starts fighting back.  Seijuurou grumbles and growls but Rin catches a smile on his face as he throws the blanket off himself and tries to wrap it around Ai.

—

���I.  Uh.  I have questions.”

Seijuurou barely even looks up from where he’s crouched down tying his shoes.  He doesn’t need to look.  He already knows the disaster on display in the other room.  He’s been blatantly ignoring the disaster for the last three and a half hours.  Which is why he called backup.  He’s still not entirely sure he chose the correct backup.  But he was kind of desperate, okay?

“Don’t,” he says as he finishes tying his shoes.  “Just. Don’t.”

“Don’t have questions?” Sugawara asks.  “Or don’t ask the questions.”

“Either.  Both.  Just.”  Seijuurou waves his hand towards the other room.  “It’s safer for everyone if you just ignore it and get the hell out while you can.”

Sugawara nods.  “I roomed with Tanaka and Bokuto one summer.  I understand.”  Seijuurou grabs his keys and wallet from the jacket he had left them in and shoves them into his pants pocket.

“Okay,” he says, gesturing to the door.  “Let’s get out of here.”

Sugawara’s head is tilted to the side like a curious puppy and he’s blinking rapidly and making a quiet, almost distressed noise as he stares into the other room.

“Uh, Mikoshiba?”

“Shit,” he sighs.

“The broccoli is on fire.”

“You mean the oranges, right?”

“No.  No, it's definitely broccoli.”

“I’m done.  I’m too old for this shit.  Let’s go.”

He snags Sugawara’s elbow and pulls him out of the house, determinedly not looking at what he’s leaving behind.

Disaster One and Disaster Two don’t even seem to realize he’s left.  He’s not sure if he should be offended or relieved.  He loves them.  He really does.  But some days he wonders just what the hell he was thinking when he agreed to move in with them all those years ago.

Sugawara keeps quiet for the entire walk from the house to the shopping district.  Which is nice.  It’s one of the reasons he enjoys Sugawara’s company.  They can spend most of a day together hanging out and actually spend very little of it talking.  It’s especially refreshing on a day like today where he’s spent the last week cooped up with Rin and Ai both because their schedules all managed to align with the same stretch of free time.  Which unfortunately aligned with the rainiest, windiest week they’ve seen in months.

“I have one question,” Sugawara says eventually.  He’s staring off into the distance when Seijuurou glances up from the display of keychains he’s been poking through.  Sugawara’s got the kind of look on his face that makes Seijuurou both curious and mildly uncomfortable because he’s never sure if the look is going to lead to a hilarious story from Sugawara about something one of his many crow friends did once upon a time or if it’s gonna lead to the two of them missing ninety percent of their clothing running away from a swarm of bees.

Again.

“Okay,” he says warily.

“Why was the fact that it was broccoli and not oranges the bigger issue and not the fact that they were on fire in the first place?”

Seijuurou groans softly.  “That’s a long story.”

Sugawara shrugs.  “I mean.  I’ve got all day.  Tell me a story and I’ll buy you lunch?”

He doesn’t necessarily want to tell the story.  But he’s also not about to pass up free lunch.

“Okay.  So.”

—

“Rei.  Rei Rei Rei!”   Rei looks up just in time to catch Ai as he trips over his own feet and tumbles into Rei’s lap.  Ai immediately latches his arms around Rei’s neck and grins at him.   “I have to tell you something!”  

Ai’s whisper is more of a shout but no one else really pays them much attention.  Which has more to do with most everyone else in the room being just as wasted as Ai is than it does them being granted a smidgen of privacy.

“What do you have to tell me?” Rei does his best to keep his voice at a reasonable level.  But he’s not totally sober either so he’s only moderately sure of his success.

Ai starts giggling and Rei can’t help but laugh along with him after a moment.

“I just.  You have to promise.  Okay?  You have to promise.”

“Okay.  I can do that.”  Rei manages to control his laughter.  “What am I promising?”

“Not to be upset that I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“Oh.  Okay.”  Rei nods.  “I’m not upset you didn’t tell me sooner.”

Ai snorts and Rei tries really, really hard not to start laughing again.

“I haven’t even told you yet.”

“Oh.  You’re right.  What do you have to tell me?”

Ai looks around the room with wide eyes.  He looks around too but doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary.  Rin and Seijuurou are sitting on the couch across from the chair Rei is currently sharing with Ai.  Haru, Nagisa, and a couple of Seijuurou’s friends that Rei can’t quite remember the names of are in the kitchen.  Momo disappeared down the hallway with Sugawara and Makoto a few minutes ago and Rei has half a second to wonder what, exactly, they’re up to before Ai tightens his arms and catches Rei’s attention.

“I have to tell you.”  Ai takes a deep breath and holds Rei’s gaze.  “I’m gay.”

Rei blinks a few times as this rolls around in his head.

“Oh.  Okay.”

Ai’s jaw drops with a gasp.  “That’s it?  Just ‘oh okay’?  That’s all?”

“I mean.  Your first kiss was with Uozumi followed immediately with a second kiss with Minami.  Your first date was with Nagisa.  Your first wet dream was about Rin and Haru.  Every person you’ve ever crushed on or gone out with has been a male.  So I kind of am not super surprised?”

Rin lets out a startled noise that has Seijuurou shushing him with a laugh.  Rin bats at Seijuurou’s shoulder and leans so far forward he almost falls off the couch.

“Haru was part of that dream?” Rin hisses.  “You never told me that he was involved!”

Ai blinks his big blue eyes at Rei and Rei quickly shakes his head.  He did not know that Rin didn’t know all the details and he may have accidentally just spilled the news but he wants no other part in this.  He’s clearly done enough.

“I trusted you,” Ai whimpers.  “I just told you I was gay and you, you, you spill my secrets like this?”

He can hear Rin grumbling in the background as Seijuurou makes comforting noises that Rin grumbles even louder at and he can see the starry watery sheen of Ai’s fathomless eyes and he feels a little bit like he’s about to be pulled underwater by something dangerous and very toothy and just out of sight and he swallows so hard that he’s sure the people in the kitchen can surely hear it.  He has a fleeting thought about sharks and blood and something else that’s on the tip of his tongue.

Cool hands land on his shoulders and he jolts, Ai nearly falling off his lap.  He tilts his head back even though he already knows who is standing there.

Haru quirks a smile down at him and the fleeting thoughts about sharks and blood are much less fleeting.  For all that he’s often characterized as a fish or a dolphin among their friends Haru is more of a fucking shark in the water than any of the Samezuka team have ever been.

“Aiichirou,” Haru says in a quiet, firm voice that has even Rin falling silent, no doubt holding his breath to hear whatever Haru is about to say.  “You told the wet dream story to Nagisa.  While he had you on speaker when he was in my room with me and Kou.  You went into terrifyingly explicit details.  I very highly doubt Rei is the one spilling your secrets.”

Ai pouts up at Haru for a few seconds and, once he realizes that Haru isn’t going to crack, he sticks his tongue out and wriggles himself out of Rei’s lap so he can flop on the couch with Rin and Seijuurou.

“Thank you, Haruka,” Rei whispers.  Haru smiles sweetly at him and kisses the top of his head softly.

“You’re welcome.”

—

“You need new friends.”

Rin startles a little and looks over curiously.  “What?”

“I said that you need new friends.”

“I heard you.  But.  What the fuck do you mean by that, Takuya?

Uozumi shudders.  “First of all.  It’s weird when you say my name.  You’ve called me that like three times in the decade or so we’ve known each other please don’t.  Second of all.  I am classifying myself in that category.  Get new friends.  Please release me from this torture.”

“Torture?  I am a delight to be friends with.”  Nagisa snickers and Rin smacks him on the back of the head without even looking.  “You will never find another friend as great as me shut up, Nagisa.”

Uozumi points at Nagisa like he’s making some grand point of some kind.  Rin rolls his eyes because, really?  Any point you’re making using Nagisa as an example — good or bad — is kind of a ridiculous point as far as Rin is concerned.

“I didn’t even say anything,” Nagisa protests.  “Damn.”

“You didn’t need to.  Your face says plenty even when your mouth is shut.”

“Oh yeah?”  Nagisa smacks Rin’s shoulder.  “What’s it saying now?  Huh?”

Uozumi sighs —  in a way that is far too dramatic for someone who willingly chooses to spend time with Momotarou of all people — as Rin turns to glare at Nagisa.

“It says you’re just jealous that I’m hot and have two hot boyfriends while you have… whatever it is that you have with your odd looks and strange little squishy cheeks.”

Nagisa’s eyes narrow dangerously and Rin grins in response.

“Your boyfriends are about to become widows,” Nagisa growls.  Rin has enough time to jump to his feet and get a few long strides away before Nagisa launches himself at him.

He thinks he hears Uozumi mutter something about new friends again but then Nagisa somehow manages to catch Uozumi’s elbow and then Rin is running for his life as they chase him down the beach.

—

Seijuurou rolls over with a groan when Rin pokes his side.

“Breakfast in bed,” Ai coos.  “Just for you.”

“Happy Birthday, old man,” Rin adds.

“Thirty is not old,” Seijuurou grumbles.

“Yeah.”  Ai pokes him this time until he opens his eyes and sits up against the headboard.  Ai hands him a plate and kisses his forehead.  “Thirty isn’t old.  You’re right.”

Rin kisses his cheek.  “But thirty-one is,” he teases.

Seijuurou’s gonna get him back for that.

Later.

After he eats his breakfast in bed.  And maybe takes a nap.

It’s his birthday, after all.

[raelish644]

truly the notes on this double the comedic value, except for a certain *ahem, jamie lee curtis voice* funsucker

sometimes trans reddit is good

[thelastattempt]

I promise you Louis wasn’t thinking ‘right I’ll use the white rose, the most popular symbol of Yorkshire, and this from the rose of Lancaster’ or whatever (Lancaster isn’t in Yorkshire and has no significance for Louis - Lancashire is in a completely different part of the country) but sure Louis is a history buff now 👍 Sometimes the simplest explanations are the correct ones instead of trying to find all these layers

I actually agree that the simplest explanation is probably the correct one and I’d refer you back to the differing side by side images.

And I’m not sure why you find the idea of Louis knowing his history so bizarre? It’s an extremely well known period of English history, with far reaching connotations for the political and religious landscape for generations. But okay, whatever you want. He’s just a silly guy doing silly things.

[ask--lysandre]

Fugly is right have you seen your haircut who did that shit

My close friend who's the top stylist in the region. I wear my hair down sometimes too, y'know that? Different people, different styles too. I don't make fun of you for being funsucking loser who makes fun of people for no reason, but here you are.

[joe-moi]

https://www.tumblr.com/joe-moi/738099425121026048/why-do-we-always-have-to-have-funsucker-nonnies

LMFAO, look at us taking another fat L. Pls, no more drama. It's so not worth the back-and-forth headaches.

every single time

[manabamba]

🛑 false etymology detected! Resident funsucker reporting for duty 🫡

The な of 神無月 is an ateji of the possessive particle, so かんなづき would mean ‘Month of the Gods’, whereas Kaminakizuki would actually mean ‘Month without the Gods’ (you can find these in the standard dictionaries Daijisen 大辞泉 (Shōgakukan 小学館), Daijirin 大辞林, etc). This is similar to the name of the month Minazuki (水無月; June), the month of water when the rice fields would be flooded with water (Japanese dictionary link for source).

神無月 (kan-na-zuki) "October" (archaic)

神 = god 無 = not 月 = month

The modern Japanese word for October is 十月 (literally "10th Month), however in the old-fashioned calendar is was known as 神無月, or "the month with no gods". 

In October, all the gods in Japan (there are believed to be 8 million of them) go to Izumo Shrine in Shimane Prefecture for a meeting, thus leaving most of Japan with no gods.

The huge shimenawa (sacred rope) at Izumo Shrine.

[sodamop]

totk devs are nerds who are scared of what i could do with a tiltrotor, so they made a limit to ultrahand like the funsuckers they are