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satureja13 · 3 months ago

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It's exactly 2 years ago when Ji Ho was also standing in front of a new school! (It's the two year anniversary of this story!) But today he's not standing in the rain. He knows his friends are awaiting him - and he got his feelings back!

The disturbing/painful ones too, though, and all his memories of the Slums - but he tries hard to focus on the good ones. It's still too much to handle for him, so Noxee gave him a sip of her potion to dull it all down a bit.

He felt as if he was new born. Everything was so much more intense! Deeper, brighter - sometimes painfully bright. Despite the potion.

The others already gathered in the classroom of today's lessons. Saiwa was looking at Jack and sighed: "Ms Coombes was right. The way Jack looks at Kiyoshi. That's not how you look at your 'mate, like mate mate, just friends' mate... Oh gods, he's a lost cause." Jeb: "I wanted to talk with you guys about them anyway. Let's meet after classes."

While Ji Ho - again - went to the wrong classroom. (Just like two years ago ^^') Ji Ho murmured to himself: "Uh. The others are not here yet? And here I thought I was late..." Owl: "You are late! They are upstairs! Hurry up!"

The dragon skull in the staircase also scolded him for loafing around - but Ji Ho was too afraid to walk past him ö.Ö'

Luckily the professor was also late and he took him upstairs. It is no lesser than Greg! Poor Jack... Greg: “All say a happy ‘wb’ to your classmate Ji Ho!” (That's almost exactly what Ms Coombes said 2 years ago ^^)

Vlad: "Hey!" Ji Ho: ? Vlad: “Don’t you dare being late again! That’s not how we roll here!” Ji Ho laughed, these were (almost) exactly the words Vlad said to him two years ago. The first words Vlad ever said to Ji Ho. So Ji Ho answered, like two years ago: "Jerk" And Vlad: "Bitch" (Haha no one ever believes me that our gloomy Vlad actually can be funny, but he really is! Collected evidence posts -> here. TMI: Sam and Dean from Supernatural often call each other 'Jerk' and 'Bitch') And so Vlad made this whole situation less awkward and emotional. Jack was eyeing Greg. He's in his own personal hell. As if having had Greg as a PE teacher hadn't been worse enough!

It couldn't be helped, they are supposed to learn everything about the magical characteristics of gems, their fields of application, use in wandmaking and charms (and cursed objects ö.ö), where to find them... There's no one who has more knowledge on this topic than Greg.

After class, they met in the yard for a picknick. Nothing special, to not overwhelm Ji Ho. They sat on Jack's Blanket (Jack carries it around since he was a little pup and Greg rescued him from the Lab).

Just sitting here with his friends was almost too much for Ji Ho, though. Despite Jack and Sai's attempts to distract him with their fun review of the days Ji Ho missed while he was in his forced sleep. How they forgot Jack and Kiyoshi at Steam Station and they took the TukTuk to follow the train, Jack got struck by lightning and they crashed, how Jack and Kiyoshi desecrated the Sanctum because they thought it was the bathroom, their first Defense against the Dark Arts lesson...

Even though their Bond was still dulled to protect Ji Ho from overload, Ji Ho felt his love for Vlad. And Ji Ho would go through all of this madness all over again if it would lead him here again. Now they can finally be together - if Vlad still wants him. It's weird for Ji Ho to not have the reassurance from their Bond. It always let him know how Vlad felt. But they have all the time in the world, now that they've overcame all their obstacles! Let's just hope Ji Ho's grandfather didn't really put a Siren's Spell on them to gain access to Vlad's powers ö.Ö'

And while the Boys had their picknick, Greg went upstairs to the top of the tower - to the Hospital Wing. He'd been eager to see Noxee in her Nurse Outfit again. Now, that he stopped these pointless fights, he doesn't get hurt anymore - and, as a result, doesn't get to see Noxee in this outfit. That's what she wore when they first met and he fell in love with her. Noxee, breathless: "You're here." She didn't even have to turn around to feel his presence. Greg: "It was pure torture - waiting until that class was finally over."

💞

'Little darlin', it's been a long, cold, lonely winter Little darlin', it feels like years since it's been here

Little darlin', the smile's returning to their faces Little darlin', it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun Here comes the sun, and I say It's alright

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Little darlin', I feel that ice is slowly melting Little darlin', it seems like years since it's been clear'

The Beatles - Here comes the Sun

Outtakes

Saiwa was jealous and tried to separate Jeb and Kiyoshi by jostling between them ^^'

Greg called his future son-in-law ö.Ö'

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter: 'Here comes the Sun' from the beginning ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Who killed Jack?' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

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yujeong · 1 month ago

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#in the novel (ew) he is very much alive but the story is vastly different#so it doesn't exactly count#(aka there's no boxing backstory at all)

Wait wait wait - there's no boxing backstory in the novel? I haven't read the book so this is news to me. Now I'm truly intrigued because I've been thinking about why the past abuse was written in the framework of boxing? Why muay Thai (or more specifically, muay khao)? I know I'm too hung-up on the topic but I feel like what's being revealed about Pete's background is more than just the abuse. Like the fact that Pete's likely from a poor family and his father forced him to box because of money (which would add a whole another layer to the "he never won" reflection) because that's the usual reasoning when parents are asked why they let their kids fight as young as six or seven years old.

And then there's the whole transformation from scrutinized creature to human shaped hole.

It's so funny that two years ago I was like "okay cool, Pete knows how to throw a fist" whereas now I'm trying to rewrite his whole family saga because of a few lines.

First of all, let me start by saying that you are not, in fact, too hung-up on anything; your passion for Pete's backstory and Muay Thai is delightful to see whenever I log on here and it's the reason I often engage with your posts. It keeps my interest on the subject alive. Never stop sharing your thoughts on it, unless your own interest starts to dissipate. Now, I don't remember all the details, but the key points of Pete's backstory in the novel are as follows:

Pete's mother died when he was young,

He was basically raised by his grandparents, who remain alive until after Vegas and Pete become a couple and visit them on their island (so there's both a dtaa and a yaai, if I'm using the correct terms),

His father was still abusive to him,

At some point, he just left him and started a new family,

He was bullied at school because he was gay

That's all I remember. I'm not sure if his mother died before or after his father left to start a new family, but I'm really not in the mood to skim-read the novel to find out. What you're saying makes sense and it's possibly why his father forced him into boxing, besides his own inferior complex about never having won a match in his life. Honestly, I must thank whoever made those changes in Pete's backstory in the show, because without them, the most important connective tissue that exists between Vegas and Pete is lost. It's one of the reasons VP in the novels doesn't work for me; there's nothing for them to bond over besides... food, which is cool, don't get me wrong, we got it in the show as well. It's just not enough. And it's not just them having abusive fathers that connects them. It's the fact that they're both hunting dogs, as you put it in your meta post. It's the fact that their entire being circles around them being on a leash for their owner to use and abuse as they wish. It's just more evident with Pete because he's a bodyguard, but we all know it's true for Vegas, too. Making Pete a (past-)boxer is a brilliant choice for all the reasons the fandom (including you) has analyzed since episode 11 dropped and I'll never get tired of talking or reading about it. You're very much valid in being this influenced over a few lines.

#I mean I'm over here having been so influenced by certain phrases Pete has said that I keep spamming them in my fics #Like “There are no heroes or villains in this world” and “kissing is for people we like only”#and another absolute favourite: “I'm not choosing. I'm just not eating.”#how can I NOT lose my mind? Impossible I tell you #so yeah keep posting the good stuff #I'll be here cheering you on <33 #pete saengtham #meta post #asks #(btw if anyone has read the novel and sees any inaccuracies in what I shared pls let me know)#(I hate Daemi with a passion but it's not correct to just spread lies about their work lol)

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paper-crab · 1 year ago

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Distance (3)

bam it’s over and i did in fact rush this. i don’t like it so be kind in your criticisms, i already know.

wc: 827

part 1 part 2

You quickly got back into the groove of things, conversations with Nick and Chris flowing easier than ever. Matt is a little more difficult, but luckily his brothers are there to include him where you fail to.

“We have to get back, sorry to cut this reunion short.” Your mom apologizes, and you feel a little bit upset.

“Text me?” You ask, standing from the booth.

“Of course!” Nick promises enthusiastically. Chris nods, and Matt stares at you with an odd glint in his eye; one that you choose to ignore.

“Bye,” You wave.

“What was that about?” Chris interrogates, turning to Matt.

“What was what about?” He replies, staring at his bitten nails, chewed so much they had become painful.

“You know, the hug, the awkward talking,” Nick joins in, “or lack thereof.”

Matt shrugs, trying to avoid it, but they continue pressing. “I don’t know,” He says, “how would you respond to seeing someone you ruined your friendship with over a liar?”

“Nothing seemed ruined to me.” Nick shrugs, sliding out of the booth. “Just a little… behind?” He questions his words, choosing to ignore it and walk over to their parents. Chris follows him, offering a “Sort your shit out Matt, I’m sure she wants to.”

The night goes by with silence from Matt, not that you’re expecting much. You did ignore him the first time he reached out, after all. You roll out of bed and go to open the fridge, finding a 4th letter next to the milk.

Congratulations

Your soulmates last initial is

You had expected that answer too. M.S. with brown hair and blue eyes, you noted, trying to ignore the fact that you know exactly who that is. You’re expecting the final letter tomorrow, but you also know the system has a funny way of working these things out.

A pen falls from the counter, startling you back to reality with a small jump. You close the fridge door, running to your room to stash the letter. The small box is waiting on your desk; you forgot to put it away yesterday.

While you make yourself a bowl of cereal, your phone dings, and you rush to check it.

Nick: Hey! Are you busy today?

You almost say yes, remembering that hanging out with Nick means being around Matt. Then, you remember the feeling you got around them. Comfort, and happiness.

You: Not at all, what’s up?

Nick: Let’s do something

Nick: Nate’s coming over, so you don’t have to talk to Matt

You: Give me an hour?

He likes the message, and you begin to get ready. The walk is really only 2 or 3 minutes, tops, considering they live right down the street. It’s surprising you managed to avoid Matt for the better part of a year, with his frequent visits to Boston.

You offer a faint knock when you reach their front porch, sending a quick text to Nick.

“Matt, get the door!” You hear yelled from inside, obviously Chris. The door swings open, creaking a little bit. When he sees your face, Matt almost goes to shut the door, a reflex from the few weeks after your fight. The weeks that you tried to make it up to him.

“Hi,” He swings the door open wider and steps to the side. “I didn’t know you were coming over?”

“Nick invited me.” You slide off your shoes, desperate to get away from him for a minute.

“Good.” He says, giving you a side hug. “Nick, she’s here!”

Nick runs down the stairs, quickly running to give you a hug. “When did you get here?”

“A minute ago, I texted you.”

Matt hums, beginning to feel a bit awkward just standing there. He shuts the door and walks away, back to the enticing game of Mario Kart on the TV.

“So,” Nick starts, pulling you away from the entrance, “I was thinking we could hang out here for a while, then we’re all going to go get food?”

“Where at?” You question, pretending like you might say no.

“You know us, any of the usual places.”

When Chris realizes you’ve walked in, he ropes you into a few rounds of Mario Kart; much to Nick's displeasure. One round turns into 4, and Nick is rolling around on the floor, groaning.

“Quit yapping and let us finish this race!” Chris kicks him lightly. Nick doesn’t stop.

“That’s my queue,” You say, standing to leave the group that consists of Chris, Nate, and Matt. Nick happily joins, whisking you away.

The group falls to silence as Nate and Chris exchange glances: ‘How do we confront Matt?’ glances.

“Why do you guys have that look on your faces?”

“No reason.” Chris says, unacceptably fast. His voice cracks in the middle of the sentence, and Nate breaks out in semi-nervous laughter.

“Dude, that was bad.”

“Shut up! Matt..” Chris starts.

“I already know what you’re going to say, and the answer is no, and no I'm not going to!”

“Why not?” Nate asks, laughter ceasing as he tilts his head.

Matt sighs, looking at his hands in his lap. He starts to pick at the skin around his nails a little, trying to form the words. “I’m scared I guess.” He admits, “I’m scared of reaching out to talk to her, and scared that I’m going to find out something I don’t want to know.”

“Kid, get out of here with that emo shit.” Chris says, rolling his eyes. “We live in L.A. if it goes wrong, we can go back to ignoring her existence.”

“You don’t get it; she’s literally my soulmate.”

He hears a small thud from the stairwell, a water bottle dropping. ‘She’s right behind me, isn’t she.’ He curses his internal monologue, flipping around. Of course, you’re there, standing over your dropped water bottle.

“I should go.” You say, immediately turning to your right and opening the door.

Nick: What’s taking so long??

You leave him on read and continue speed walking up the street. You didn’t even stop to grab your jacket, barely giving yourself enough time to slip on your shoes when you left. It’s chilly, as is Boston in November, and it leaves you wishing you’d given yourself more than 30 seconds to leave.

If you turned around, you’d see their front door opening 30-ish feet behind you, a show of how quickly you left. “Hey wait!” Matt calls from behind you. You don’t turn around, so he puts on his shoes and jacket, not failing to grab your disregarded jacket.

You keep walking, hardly stopping when you have to unlock your front door; even when you hear him jog behind you to catch up.

“Stop please,” You shut the door, but his hand catches it. You keep walking. “Can we talk?” He pleads, but you just walk into your room, shutting the door successfully this time.

You don’t lock it, so technically, Matt could walk in, but he doesn’t. He sits outside your door, knocking gently. “Can we please, please, please talk?”

You don’t respond, pulling down your box of letters and opening it, finding a crisp, unsealed letter on the top of the stack. You remove that one, finally opening the door and handing him the box of letters. “I told you,” you said, watching him go through the letters. “Told me what?” His face hardly shifted while he sifted through the letters.

“That it was me.” You offer.

“No, I recall you saying it wasn’t her.” He says, cracking a grin as he puts down the letters. “It was implied,”

You drop the letter in your hand, wordlessly reaching out to hug Matt.

Congratulations

You’ve found your soulmate

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

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baileypie-writes · 5 months ago

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hello! I'm the same person who requested the Rosemary dating headcanons, I was wondering if it was possible to do a fanfic of him and a childhood friend+cookfighter!reader fanfic. Gender neutral.

🌈🍰

A/N ~ Sure! I don’t exactly remember everything about the Cook Fighters, and I couldn’t find a lot online, so I apologize if anything is inaccurate. Also, Reader being a Cook Fighter isn’t a main focus in the fic, hope that okay. Hope you enjoy!

~Childhood~

Rosemary x GN!Childhood Friend!Cook Fighter!Reader

~~~💜~~~💜~~~💜~~~

Fandom: Delicious Party♡Precure

Fanfic Type: Oneshot

Reader: Gender neutral, Rosemary’s childhood friend, Cook Fighter

Relationship: Platonic to Romantic

Genre: Fluff

Rating: PG

Synopsis: Now that he’s back in CooKingdom, and the official trainer of the Cook Fighters, you can finally spend time with Rosemary again! But little do you know, he has plans to become more than childhood friends.

Warnings: The character focus kinda shifts at times, kinda abrupt ending

~Masterlists~

~Delicious Party♡Precure Masterlist~

This fanfic takes place after the events of Delicious Party Precure

~~~💜~~~💜~~~💜~~~

Even though it was a week ago, you still clearly remember the moment your childhood friend, Rosemary, came back from his quest of finding the Recipe-Bon. You were the first person he ran to, pushing past all the others. The moment he got to you, he squeezed you in his arms. He even lifted you off the ground a little.

This was very on brand of him. He’s always been very affectionate. Ever since you were kids, he would always hug you, and even hold your hand. The citizens of CooKingdom were convinced that you’d get together someday. But even now, when both of you are adults, you’re still just friends.

But Rosemary was determined to change that!

Rosemary’s been in love with you for years. But the two of you were always so serious about becoming Cook Fighters, so he was worried that a relationship would get in the way of your journey. So he just kept quiet. But now that you’re a Cook Fighter, and he’s the official trainer, he can’t think of a better time to confess!

~~~~

“Alright guys, that’s enough for today!” Rosemary yelled at all the Fighters, declaring the training session complete.

“Yes sir!” You all yelled. Rosemary adored how serious you were, despite your trainer being your best friend. He admired that, as well as your stance and fighting style. He had to make sure he was paying attention to the others during the training, not just you.

“(name), wait!” He called out to you as you were leaving the training grounds.

You stopped, and turned around. “Oh, hey Mary! Oh, sorry! Master Rosemary.” You fixed your stance to be more formal and serious as you corrected your mistake. Rosemary thought that was the cutest thing ever.

“Aww (name)! I’m flattered, but you can just call be Mary! We’re best friends after all!” He said, grabbing your hands, and holding them in his.

“Alright, haha! So why did you call for me?” You asked.

“Oh, yes! Well, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go to the Fluffy Food Bar? Just like old times?” He asked, his eyes making it impossible for anyone to say no. Not that you’d want to.

“Aw, I’d love too! We haven’t been there in forever!” You said excitedly. It was true. You and Rosemary used to go there at least once a week, ever since you were kids. But after he left, you haven’t been over there at all. It just didn’t feel the same without him.

“Alright!” He cheered. “Let’s go!” He linked your arm in his, and began walking. You laughed, having missed this part of him.

~~~~

You and Rosemary talked all the way to the Fluffy Food Bar. Mostly about your childhoods. Funny moments, happy moments, all of it. It was so nice to go down memory lane with him. Especially since, other than the big celebration a week ago to celebrate his and the Pretty Cure’s success, you haven’t had many proper talks since he came back.

Your arms remained linked up until you arrived at the restaurant, in which you let go to open the door for him. “Why, thank you!” He chimed. You just smiled, and linked your arm back once both of you were inside.

The moment you stepped in, you were hit with a wave of nostalgia. Not just the look, which hasn’t changed at all, but the smell. Nothing was different about it, but that was exactly why it made you happy. Having not smelled this specific aroma in a long while, it made you emotional. And you knew that if you were emotional, Rosemary was ten times more.

Just as you expected, when you turned to look at him, his eyes were filled with tears. “Aww, Mary.” You laughed, while also trying to be of comfort.

“Sorry! I just missed this place so much!” He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket, and carefully dabbed his tears away, as to not mess up his makeup.

“I know, me too.” You said, looking around the familiar building. Your grip around Rosemary’s arm tightened. Now that he was back, you felt you never wanted to let him go again.

“Let’s order, shall we?” He said, his mood completely changing. You just smiled and nodded, too caught up in the nostalgia to talk.

~~~~

After you and Rosemary sat down with your food, you didn’t waste a second to start eating. The food tasted just like you remembered. Mary seemed to think so too, because he was, of course, tearing up again.

“I never thought it was possible to miss food this much!” He said.

“Me too!” You laughed.

After a few blissful moments of eating, you felt compelled to start another conversation. You looked around for a topic, and a sparkle caught your eye. Rosemary’s glittery eyeshadow. Perfect. He just can’t resist talking about makeup!

“That color looks good on you, Mary!” You complimented, pointing to his eyes.

He hummed in slight confusion, before realizing what you were talking about. “Oh! My eyeshadow! It does, doesn’t it? I just got it, and I think this may be my new favorite. It’s so sparkly!” He squealed a bit at the end.

You laughed at his typical behavior. “You have always loved makeup. Ever since we were little. I still remember when you tried it for the first time.”

“Me too! And I never went back after that!” He said proudly.

You chuckled. “No matter how much older we get, or how much time we spend apart, you’ll always be the same old Mary!”

You expected Mary to smile at your comment, but instead, he only laughed a bit, before his already existing one faded significantly. “What’s wrong? Should I not have said that?” You asked, hoping you didn’t hurt his feelings in some way.

“Oh, no! You’re fine!” He reassured, waving his hand. “It’s just, you seem to really like the ‘same old Mary’.”

“Well of course I do. Why wouldn’t I like my best friend?” You asked.

“Well, say if I were to do something… different. Would you still like me?”

“Of course! What kind of question is that? Just because I like how you are now, doesn’t mean you can’t change. What do you mean by that? Are you okay?” You were wondering if his question was leading to something. And you were right.

With a huff, Rosemary’s attitude completely changed to a super determined and confident one. He lightly slapped his hands on the edge of the table, making you jump a bit. “(name).” He started. “I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time now.” He took a deep breath. “I love you! Will you go out with me?” He asked dramatically.

You froze in shock. You didn’t expect that to be where the conversation was leading at all. But you weren’t upset in the slightest. In fact, a big smile spread across your face. “Oh my gosh, of course, Mary! I love you too!” You said, completely matching his energy.

Rosemary squealed, and his eyes teared up for the third time that night. But this time, he allowed the tears to fall. He shot up from his seat, and lunged at you, enveloping you in a tight hug. You happily returned it, not caring if Mary’s makeup were to smudge off on your clothes.

Everyone around the restaurant saw this happen, but they didn’t say a word. Most of them have been waiting for this to happen for years, so they let you enjoy your special moment. The special moment that has been cooking up since your childhoods.

~~~💜~~~💜~~~💜~~~

~~baileypie-writes

#baileypie-writes #precure #pretty cure #precure x reader #pretty cure x reader #delicious party precure #delicious party precure x reader #delicious party precure rosemary #rosemary #rosemary x reader #precure rosemary #precure rosemary x reader

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skyewritesstuff · 1 year ago

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all too well (stan's version)

my masterlist.

entry 3 in my (taylor’s version) songfic series.

summary: you said if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine...and that made me want to die.

pairing: post-covid!stan marsh x younger!reader

fandom: south park

warnings: oh god. toxic relationship. toxic age-gap relationship (20s/50s). domestic violence (throwing things). language. afab reader.

notes: based on all too well (10 minute version), the song and the short film, by taylor swift. this has been beta read, and fun fact, this is the first fic i've written that got a perfect score in grammarly. it has been beta read. :)

word count: 2.9k

“If we had been closer in age maybe it would’ve been fine.”

That was the moment that set you off. It was like a match was lit and dropped into a brush pile doused in kerosene. It simultaneously made you want to rip your skin from your bones and scream in agony, but also retaliate towards the older man standing in front of you…so that’s exactly what you did.

“You burned down your family’s farm. You killed your sister and your mom, and you ruined your own life just like you fucking ruined me! You told me you loved me. You took my virginity. You told me you wanted to marry me and now you’re saying our ages are a problem? That’s bullshit, Stan and you know it.”

“Fuck you. Fuck you. Get the fuck out of my house. We’re done. Go find you some guy your age that can drink to tolerate your batshit crazy ass, because my body has built too high of a tolerance to even be able to get buzzed enough to be around you. I’d rather go back to using my hand on the nightly basis than listen to you scream and cry at me like a fucking kid.”

You held it together despite internally wanting to crumble. You wanted to fall to your knees and sob and beg him to stay and beg him to love you, because despite everything, you still loved him.

“Fine.” You walked over to the counter and grabbed your belongings and your keys before turning to head out of the door. You then turned around and faced him, “That’s the funny part about all of this, Stan. My age is a problem now? Cool, fine, because you know what? Years will pass and I’ll get older…but your little girlfriends, side pieces, and fuckbuddies? They’ll all stay my age.”

With that, you walked out and slammed the door, heading to your car and exiting his driveway quicker than you’d ever pulled out of a location in your life. You tried to hold your tears in as you drove, but they started quickly pouring out and didn’t stop until you found yourself sitting on the floor of the shower in your apartment hours later

The water falling from the shower head had started running cold a long while ago. You couldn’t tell if you were still shaking from the tears or from the cold drops that fell onto your bare skin, but you pulled your knees in closer to your chest as you sat there overwhelmed by everything. This wasn’t your first fight with Stan. Things were never fully stable. He’d gotten mad at you when you asked him why he dropped your hand and stepped in front of you when a tall woman with black hair and glasses approached him at the class reunion that he’d invited you to.

“You dropped my fucking hand! What am I supposed to do with that?”

“I didn’t even fucking notice. What are you talking about I ‘dropped your hand’?”

You shuddered again at the memory as it kept playing on in your mind as if you couldn’t shut it off even though you desperately wanted to.

“They are all older than me.”

“But like, what are you talking about?”

“I feel so out of place. You’re the only one that makes people comfortable.”

“You’re making this about you.”

“They won’t even look at me!”

You finally mustered up the strength to stand up, get out of the shower, and wrap yourself in a towel. It was removed the moment you dried off enough to put on your pajamas, consisting of one of Stan’s t-shirts and a pair of athletic shorts. Your heart ached as the cotton fabric went over your head and onto your body, hanging loosely on your frame.

You hadn’t even bothered to tell anyone what’d happened. You hadn’t from the start, so why start now. Your friends would be sympathetic and supportive, but you also knew of some friends, but more so family, that would be telling you ‘I told you so’.

Your mother had warned you from the beginning, telling you that he had no business being with someone that was young enough to be his daughter regardless of whether or not you were both consenting adults, which had been your main defense all along. He was able to connect with your dad on sports, alcohol, and music and had even made the connection that they might have played each other in football in high school. That thought made you feel a little uncomfortable, but it wasn’t enough for you to see the concerns that even your dad silently harbored about this relationship.

You shook your head, drying the ends of your hair with a towel before curing up to lay down on your side, feeling ashamed and embarrassed that you’d even let this go on for as long as you had. There were so many signs and you’d missed them all, wearing what you could only describe as rose tinted glasses to see the world through the lens of the hope of true love.

You stayed on your side, curled up, until you glanced at the alarm clock to see the time. It was then that you were brought back to a few months prior, naked and curled up on your side in his bed as he pulled you into his chest. You felt dirty and ashamed. It was one thing for you to use your body to stop an argument and to pose a distraction from harsh words and glass bottles being thrown around, but it was another for him to go along with it. You wanted him to not take you up on your offer, coming to you with the proposition to talk about the problem at hand instead of just fucking to forget. The memory made you feel sick to your stomach…they all did.

The only thing that hurt worse than the bad memories were the ones that radiated any glimmer of hope into the spiral of your relationship. You baked cookies together at one in the morning all because you just wanted to. He wrapped his arms around your waist as you mixed the ingredients and got them prepared and hoisted you onto the counter to kiss you while you waited for the oven timer to go off. He told you all about his childhood…from his friends to the farm…information you’d never think of sharing, let alone weaponizing. You told him about yours and how you’d always dreamed of falling madly in love, getting married, and having children as to drop some kind of hint to him. He told you he loved you not even a week later when he’d come over to spend the evening with you, but the kiss that followed tasted of whiskey, planting the seed of doubt in your heart that you’d work hard to push back down every time you said those three words to him.

The good did not outweigh the bad, but your mind couldn’t wrap around the idea that someone could be that kind only to be so cruel. How could someone love you and then destroy you with such simplicity? Unless, they never loved you at all. You shook your head, trying to shake the thought out of the forefront of your mind. That could never be the case, but what if it was?

You were jarred from your thoughts by the sound of not knocking, but pounding on your door. You jumped, unsettled by the noise. You walked to the door, peering through the peephole only to see Stan standing on your doormat, partially slumped over on the door, using his closed fist to pound on the door. He apologized, begging you to answer the door through slurred words all because he loves you and he made a mistake.

You opened the door and Stan all but fell inside, stumbling and grabbing a hold of a coat rack and your arm. Several items fell off of the coat rack as he picked himself up. You rolled your eyes watching him scramble to pick them up out of the floor, almost falling again.

“Just leave it.” You replied coldly.

“N-No, I did this…I fucked it up like I fuck up everything else.” he handed you a beanie and a hoodie and you took it into your arms with a deep sigh of frustration.

His hand landed on a red knit infinity scarf. He picked it up and took a good look at it. “You had this on when we went to see Shelley and mom. I-It matched the flowers.”

You took a hard swallow, pursing your lips, “Yeah…” Your mind went back to the red carnations Stan placed on his sister and his mother’s graves that day. Regardless of his behavior, you couldn’t help but pity him when it came to his family. It was a tragedy and there wasn’t anyone that could deny that.

Once you hung the articles back on the rack, you turned to Stan, who was leaning on the wall for support. He was more than obviously drunk, per usual. You cursed the availability of self-driving cars, but you doubt deep-down that his drunken state would’ve kept him from getting behind the wheel to try and keep you entrapped considering it was something that would ultimately benefit him. Despite his self-deprecating behaviors, Stan was the love of his own life. He was his own number one and there was no one that could knock him out of that position short of the bottle.

You crossed your arms over your chest, “What do you want, Stanley? You told me to get out of your house and that we were done.”

“I-I know…but…I couldn’t…I couldn’t let you leave. I love you, Y/N. I love you and need you, baby.” he slurred, reaching for you. You took a step back and rolled your eyes as he continued, “Alexa told me I needed to stay away from you, but I just can’t. I can’t do that. She told me to stay away from ‘that little girl’ and to find someone my own age, but I told her that you’re a woman and you’re mature. It’s fine. You know that, right? I’m not…I’m not worried about your age.”

You blinked, perplexed by his statements considering what he’d said earlier, “I don’t even know how to respond to that.”

“Remember when Kyle said he didn’t know I had a daughter, but it wasn’t my daughter, it was you?”

“Yeah, and I remember your other friend stopping me at the bar telling me I needed to run too.”

The whole reunion felt like a fever dream, but the comments made by Kyle, as well as the man at the bar…a taller man with dark hair and tanned skin who was holding the hand of his husband who also looked at you with deep concern etched onto his features…stuck with you. You knew by their impact that you shouldn’t have let them go, but instead, you forced them to the back of your mind every time they’d reappear. You’d remind yourself that these people no longer knew Stan, because it’d been decades since their school years. The presence of a freshly twenty-something year old on the arm of a fifty-year old was everything an outsider needed to know about Stan Marsh.

“That’s a good idea…let’s run…let’s go to Vegas…let’s get married. I love you and I want you to stay with me.” he begged, this time dropping to his knees.

“Get up, Stan. This is ridiculous.” You said, extending a hand to help him up. He stood back up and walked closer towards you, putting his hands on your waist. Tears were welled up in his eyes and his face was flushed. You couldn’t tell if this was from the heat of the whiskey, emotion, or his history of having a sensitive stomach in times of high stress.

“I'm so sorry.” He leaned in and pressed his forehead to yours. His lips lingered near yours and your chest tightened. Your love for the man in front of you was doing its best to fight off the anger and sorrow you were feeling as if you hadn’t been down this road before. This was a normal occurrence even if it wasn’t in the presence of a potential break up. Every fight ended like this. He’d get drunk, apologize, kiss you, fuck you, and then wake up the next day hungover. The fight would be long since forgotten.

“I can’t do this, Stan.” Your voice cracked, “I love you, but I can’t do this.”

“But you love me.��

“Sometimes love isn’t enough.” You spoke plainly, gently putting your hands on his chest to slowly push him away. Your stomach turned a little, knowing his past history of violence. He’d never hit you, but any nearby object was fair game to be tossed through the air in your general direction. You didn’t trust him not to hit you, and that should’ve been another red flag, but it also went ignored.

“But…”

“You took my virginity when we were both drunk. You lied about my age at the reunion until someone told you there was no way I was almost thirty. You’re basically unemployed. You drink all day and half-ass your job to the point where you lose clients quicker than you make money.” The more you spoke, the more the anger began to rise as you recalled all of the things you’d been ignoring for so long, “You’ve thrown full glass bottles of whiskey at me. You’ve thrown long neck bottles, shot glasses…basically anything you can drink your sorrows away in has been thrown my way on top of your phone, my fucking water bottle…anything with weight to it. You ruined my twenty-first by not showing up to my party and blacking out drunk in your own fucking bedroom, which made my parents hate you…”

“Your parents love me!” The rest of your points going ignored again.

“You really are oblivious as fuck, aren’t you? I’m dying inside, Stan. I can’t fucking doing this anymore. You have ruined me and I don’t know if I’ll ever be myself again. You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would’ve been fine…but I don’t even think you could hold a relationship with someone your own age. If Wendy wasn’t married, you would’ve left me that night and moved on to ruin her too…but I don’t think she would’ve given you the opportunity…because admittedly, she’s not young and fucking stupid like me.” You pursed your lips, taking a breath, “You couldn’t manipulate her the way you do me…the way you did me…because we’re done, Stanley.”

He looked at you, eyes glazed over, his brain taking longer to process what you’d said due to his state of intoxication.

“I loved you and I tried to be there for you. I tried to create a safe space, because fuck, no one’s done it for you for the last fifty some years and I thought you deserved it…but you just took advantage of it.” You said, shaking your head, “I hope one day you find everything you’re missing. I hope you go to rehab, because you need it. I hope you make peace with your father, because you need that too.”

“Fuck Randy. I fucking hate Randy. He’s…”

“He’s your dad and sure he’s fucked up over the years, but it’s not like you’re some saint either. You both have made mistakes. Go to therapy, get your shit together, and go find happiness…with someone who isn’t me…and is closer to your own age.”

Tears had started to stream down your face rapidly and you hadn’t noticed. He stepped closer and reached up to wipe your tears away. You shook your head, reaching up to wipe them off yourself.

“I’ll go with you out to your car and program it to take you back home, but after that, I don’t want to see you ever again.”

“You don’t mean that.”

You nodded, “I do…and I’d normally say that I’m sorry, but I really don’t think I am.”

“I thought we were made for each other.” he paused, “Maybe another time…in another life?”

You shrugged. The sentiment was nice. It was pleasant to think about, but it was sadly not a reality. It was doubtful that your lives would ever cross again and it was unlikely that he’d change. In another life, maybe, but that wasn’t something you were even sure existed.

“I don’t know, Stan.” You said, wrapping your arms around your midriff.

“I love you.”

You didn’t say anything. You opened the door and motioned for him to follow you. On your way out, the red of the scarf hanging from the coat rack caught your eye. For a brief second, your hand reached up to take it, debating on dropping the knit accessory in the back seat of his car. You knew that this would just enable Stan to try and contact you again and begin this cycle in a never-ending loop like the article of clothing itself.

You wordlessly followed Stan to his car, programming it to drive him back to his home before helping him into his seat and closing the door. You backed up, watching the car start to pull out of the lot and head down the street as he exited your life for good.

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well…

#south park #south park fanfiction #south park x reader #stan marsh #pc!stan #pc!stan marsh #post-covid #post-covid special #stan marsh x reader #stan marsh x yn #stan marsh x you #south park x yn #south park x you

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captain-joongz · 1 year ago

Text

Heroes

Pairing: non-idol!Kim Hongjoong x Reader (it's Hongjoong's POV)

Genre: angst

Summary: Hongjoong attempts to navigate a posh party after his whole life has fallen apart, while what he wants the most is standing only a few metres away from him. It doesn't help that he knows you want him too.

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: it's very angsty, drinking, post break-up, forced break-up, controlling parent (let me know if i should add anything)

A/N: this whole piece is inspired by the song Heroes by David Bowie, it's just the right amount of emotional damage :')) also, this is my first time posting here, so I apologise if the formating is still a little wonky, hopefully I'll work it out soon :))

“Just… Don’t forget to be there tomorrow, okay?” Seonghwa’s voice rang out in my car and I sighed. “Don’t worry, I know I can’t afford to miss a gathering like that. Everyone that means something in this city is going to be there.” My answer didn’t seem to calm him down whatsoever, even if I couldn’t see him through my phone screen I knew as much. I stubbornly refused to address what he was talking about and instead started talking business. After a while of mindless chit-chat he tried again.

“She will be there tomorrow… I’m sure you know that. Please, Hongjoong, don’t do anything stupid.” I knew he was just trying to look out for me but I couldn’t help getting a little annoyed with him. Even after all this time, you were still a touchy subject. I sighed again, this time louder. “When have I ever done something like that?” I attempted at a joke and got a little chuckle from Seonghwa in return. “Don’t worry, my best friend turned business partner, I’ll be the picture of sainthood and patience.” Then I ended the call.

Needless to say, I was not that. I got to the garden party about twenty minutes ago and was already agitated beyond belief. Seonghwa hasn’t got there yet and I was stuck drinking white wine in a corner of a room watching old rich men laughing at stories that only old rich men find funny. I could feel my lips turning into a scowl and barely managed to look respectable and approachable to the top society.

Just a few years back, I was nothing. A little boy from a poor background who only dreamed big, but deep down knew that a world like this would never let him achieve that. I didn’t come from money like most of these men, I didn’t have centuries of generational wealth at my beck and call. I was the one they laughed at and looked down on, the one who had to fight for every penny they dropped.

I started a little company with my best friend, originally hoping to make our own indie clothing line. Just something small to give us enough money to live normally. But we needed funds to take off and so we started chasing after the kind of people we both hated begging them to sponsor us. That’s when you came into my life. And everything changed.

Back then I hated these parties as much as I do now but I didn’t know how to hide it yet. Seonghwa was much better at looking pleasant and entertained, I usually stood next to him burning holes with my eyes into anyone who wanted to talk to me. You swooped in, all wide smiles and melodic laughs and gave me a once-over.

“You look exactly how I feel.” It came out of your mouth on a laugh and I felt myself relax. “Also here to charm these bastards into giving you a bit of money?” I gave you a flirty smile and took a sip from my glass. I didn’t even remember what I ordered.

“Actually no, I’m here because one of these bastards is my father.” I froze and I heard Seonghwa next to me choke on something. You looked serious for a moment and then burst out laughing. And then you spent the entire night introducing us to people and whispering little sassy comments into our ears. I never knew one could have so much fun here.

I realised pretty quickly you are someone I will fall in love with. It never felt like a hypothetical. Loving you was absolutely inevitable. And when I did, you were there holding my hand whispering how you love me too. It was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You were the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And then you were gone.

You didn’t want to be, I knew that. It was your father. I met him a few times after you introduced us and he figured out pretty quickly that something was happening between us. And he didn’t like it. One day he called me into his office for lunch. When I came he only looked at me over his desk.

“My daughter will marry someone better.” That was all he said.

“Leave her alone.”

I didn’t.

We both agreed on continuing our relationship and that we would keep it a secret. Me and Seonghwa managed to sell our idea to a big wig that owned a few luxury hotels and he agreed to sponsor our humble beginnings. At this time Wooyoung and Yeosang joined us, after we hired them off an ad to model our clothes during the business meetings. Finally, our dream was taking off. It worked for a little while. You helped us a lot back then, helping us with ideas and even some sewing when we needed every hand we could get. The project was our baby, us five.

With time we grew tired of sneaking around. We became careless, too in love to think about the consequences of being seen together or getting caught by your father. And so one day we were.

Unfortunately, I don’t know the half of what happened, you didn’t want to talk about it too much. But I knew enough to understand you were leaving. I’ll always remember your teary sad eyes as you were walking out the door.

“He’ll sink your company if I don’t leave. I can’t do that to you Hongjoong, not after you worked so hard for it.”

After that I haven’t seen you again. I heard about you here and there, after all I was still in the same social circles as you. But I knew you weren’t allowed to talk to me. I would catch glimpses of you out of the corner of my eyes and then you would disappear into the crowd. That was all that was left of us.

It’s already been three hours since I came here and I was officially tired of small talk. Everyone asked me the same questions, they all wanted to know the same things.

“Congratulations on your latest release, Mr. Kim. I heard it was a success,” said one of the men my benefactor brought over to my corner. I gave him a tight-lipped smile.

“It was a joint effort of the whole company,” I replied politely and looked over his shoulder to see Seonghwa laugh at something Yunho said. They came here together about 40 minutes after me due to having to solve some issues with a design we were currently working on.

“Speaking of company, I remember when it was just you and Mr. Park. It was a pleasant surprise to meet Mr. Jeong too,” said someone else, I wasn’t even paying attention to who.

“Yes, yes… There’s eight of us now, thanks to the endless support of Mr. Byun we were able to expand rather quickly,” I gestured at our sponsor and gave a business smile. “It’s a big relief as we now have enough hands on deck to work comfortably.” Conversation moved on for a little bit and I dissociated again, not listening to a single word until I felt Seonghwa move to my side. When I looked up at him he looked extremely nervous, but before I could ask one of the men directed the topic back to me.

“You know… I really wasn’t expecting you to show up. Considering…” he chuckled a little bit and I felt myself stiffen. There was a mean glint to his eyes and I knew they all will properly enjoy making me uncomfortable with this.

“Yes, considering…” someone else added with a smirk, “Have you met the host of tonight’s party yet?” Silence fell and everyone looked at me expectantly. The host of tonight's party, as in Mr. Lee – as in your father. Even though our relationship was never quite made public, it was a well-known matter. Just as our break-up, no matter how hard Mr. Lee tried to make it disappear. He was thoroughly embarrassed by his daughter entertaining the advances of such a low-born as me, but his desperation to keep this all under wraps was what made it even juicier for everyone to talk about. That’s how I found myself in this exact same position every time I chose to show my face at these events.

Before I could say something, Seonghwa stepped in with his gentle polite shut-down. “Yes, we’ve all said our hellos to him when we came here,” he said and smiled in that way me and Yunho knew meant he was two minutes from distributing slaps. It was a lie, but one said with such nonchalance that everyone believed this boring outcome to be true. They hoped for blood and instead got this. From there the conversation quickly moved on to different topics and no one brought it up again. Eventually the men saw someone more interesting and dispersed, leaving only me, Seonghwa and Yunho.

“Thanks, if I had to answer that one more time I’d murder someone,” I said to Seonghwa with what was supposed to be a laugh but instead came out as a bitter chuckle. My fingers tightened around my glass and I attempted to calm the swirling vortex of uncomfortable emotions currently wreaking havoc on my psyche. Admittedly, I was doing a pretty shit job at it.

“Man, these vultures really never change,” Yunho whispered with a smile and clasped his hand on my shoulder. He squeezed few times to give me courage and then let go. I smiled tiredly at him and clanked our glasses together. “That they never do…”

I was glad both of these men were here. Where Seonghwa was all cold and polite, Yunho came in with amusing stories and boyish charms. Once you started listening to him, he soon had you wrapped around his little finger and you found yourself hanging onto his every word. It was very useful at directing conversation and distracting people when they started asking stupid questions.

Seonghwa hasn’t said anything yet and when I looked at him, he was still watching me with that same sadness and nervousness from before. “You haven’t left this spot since you came, don’t you at least want to move into the garden for a little while?” he said finally and I realised he was in his full mothering mode. As I opened my mouth to give him a funny retort, my eyes flitted around the room and suddenly I was looking straight into your eyes. The words got stuck in my throat and instead came out a little strangled noise of surprise. You waved at me subtly and smiled a little. I awkwardly did the same. Then you turned around and walked out. My hand automatically reached for a fresh glass of wine and I drank it in almost a single gulp, which freaked out Seonghwa.

“Maybe we should go, we did what we came here to do anyway…” he said and reached for me but I refused. “If we leave now it will be considered in bad taste,” I retorted, “Don’t worry about me, go out there and make me proud. I’ll just stay here and keep myself out of everyone’s way.” Yunho laughed at my words but Seonghwa still looked concerned. In the end, he let himself be dragged out into the gardens. I stood there alone. Right, since you left, I was anyways.

I kept myself occupied by drinking, which wasn’t really the best idea. When I looked out of the window again, it was already dark outside and most of the people moved back in. You were back in too. I heard you, heard your laugh as you held conversation with someone. It felt as close as if you were standing right next to me, laughing to something I said. As if on instinct I looked after the source of the sound and our eyes met for the second time that evening. You nodded. I did too. I felt Mr. Lee burning a hole into my side with his eyes just as I saw Seonghwa warningly shake his head. So I looked back down, right into my drink and wallowed in drunken self-pity.

I knew I should let it go. I should have let it go by now. It’s been months. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t make myself stop thinking about you, about us. How could I when you were so abruptly torn out of my life? Inappropriate relationship my ass. Embarrassment my ass. Everyone knew anyway. That I love you and you love me. I didn’t understand why it was a problem. I guess I just wasn’t good enough. Wasn’t wealthy enough. I would still take care of you, better than anyone could. I would give you anything, everything you asked for. So why? Why was it a problem?

I took another sip from another glass and looked at you again. I could feel Seonghwa’s disapproving energy from across the room but I ignored it. Things started blurring together, so I just stood around frowning and drank. When I could see clearly again you were gone. I lost you a long time ago and yet you still disappear.

The party was still in full swing, people now drunk enough to loosen up. All around me it was buzzing with laughter and small-talk, the men switching to joking about their wives while still pretending to talk business while the ladies emboldened by alcohol started making eyes at the young waiters. I made a disgusted face and prayed for these poor souls.

I couldn’t see Seonghwa nor Yunho anymore either and I was trying to persuade myself to move so I could find them and we could finally leave. But before I managed to move a single finger a voice tore me out of my thoughts. A sweet familiar voice.

“Hey…” It was you. You were standing on my right, close to the doors that led outside. I didn’t even notice you get there, too preoccupied with feeling sorry for myself. My heart was beating out of my chest. It was beating so hard I was afraid it was going to jump right out, right into your hands. That’s where it belonged anyway.

“Hi.” I croaked out and then embarrassedly cleared my throat. You laughed. God, how I missed that. I was just stuck looking at you with heart eyes, not even comprehending that this was really happening. Suddenly I realised that the room quieted down a little bit. The people that were present pretended to still have their conversations while straining their ears to listen to us. A fierce wave of anger ran through me but it died down as soon as I saw you gesturing to the open door.

“Do you maybe want…?” you didn’t even have to finish and I was already moving out with a scowl on my face aimed at everyone who was watching us with curious eyes. As soon as I came out panic hit me and I turned around. You must have seen the fear and laughed a little. “My father is currently in the saloon playing billiard and smoking cigars with the esteemed gentlemen, so it’s okay,” you said and sat down on of the chair on this little balcony. It was overlooking the prettily light up gardens. It was almost a romantic setting if the situation was different. I chuckled bitterly and sat down into the other chair.

I took the time to look at you properly. You were wearing a light pink dress. It was a very conservative cut, making you look almost like a happy housewife from the 50s. I let out another chuckle and you only raised an amused eyebrow at me. Your hair was longer too.

“I see that father has a say in your wardrobe too, now.” It wasn’t the best opening line. Definitely not something you say to someone you haven’t seen in months. The amusement was replaced by sadness and you looked really awkward for a moment. I wanted to slap myself for ever even opening my stupid mouth.

“You know, have to make the right impression…” you said quietly and silence took over. I hated it. I hated everything and most of all I hated your father.

“You realise that he’s going to hear about us talking anyway, right?” I asked you and took a sip. It was the last of wine I had, so I just set the glass on the table and instead nervously played with my fingers. Not holding anything allowed me to see just how much were my hands shaking. I looked over and you were also nervously smoothing out your dress over your thighs.

“Yeah, well, he’s going to kill us both but whatever,” came your response. You wanted it to sound nonchalant but we were both too anxious and running on pure adrenalin. But then you gave me a blinding smile and my heart almost broke all over again.

“Yeah, yolo or whatever,” I mumbled and looked into the garden. I heard you laugh and forbid myself from looking. My hands started to rise so I could drink but halfway through I remember I finished it already. So I let them down again. It was the middle of summer but thanks to the late hour, the weather became much more pleasant. I loosened my tie and made myself more comfortable in the chair.

The silence was slowly becoming oppressive as neither of us really knew what to say to the other. I gritted my teeth together and slowly counted the uncomfortably spent seconds slowly ticking away.

“I’m engaged.”

It felt as if the whole world was suddenly thrown askew. If I wasn’t sitting it would feel as if I was falling down the stairs. Slowly I turned to look at you. There were tears on your face. I realised that my eyes were also getting wet. Shit, either I’m too sober to have this conversation or I’m too drunk to not make a fool out of myself. My hand subconsciously moved to lay over my heart, as if to check if it was still beating. It felt as if it wasn’t, wouldn’t really surprise me.

“So this is why you wanted to talk outside…” I said slowly and suddenly my words were slurring more together. It was hard to speak over the emotions of my whole life crumbling to dust.

“Don’t you want to know with who?” you asked quietly. I could see you were too afraid to look at me properly, only glancing over from the corner of your eyes. I scoffed at your question.

“I can imagine with who. Your father has a clear type,” I said bitterly, “Probably with someone that can afford to golf with him in the country club.” You were silent and I knew you were crying. So I turned around again and looked into the garden, stubbornly ignoring the tears about to drop from my own eyes.

“We could run away together…” you whispered and I spun around again. “What!?” I almost screamed that and then checked if anyone inside heard. It seemed that no one noticed. I turned to you again. “What do you mean? Are you serious?” It was absolutely stupid idea. I started regretting not being more drunk. But then I looked at your face and saw your desperation and I realised. You mean it. You’re absolutely serious.

A lightning of hope flashed through me so strongly it almost jerked my whole body. But as soon as it appeared it was gone too. There was no way anything good would come out of that. Your father would cut you off and he’d make sure none of us ever found any respectable job. I couldn’t take everything away from you like this. I wouldn’t. Still I smiled at you and said yes. We both knew.

“We could, you could come to live with me and Seonghwa. He’d nag us all the time but all of us would have movie nights…” I whispered and finally felt the tears trickling down my face. I didn’t even bother to try and wipe them away. When I looked over you were crying too.

“We could just get up right now and leave and never come back,” you said. Neither of us made a move to get up. We just looked at each other. “I would help you with your company, I’d sew again…”

“We’d live off convenience store snacks and whatever Wooyoung brought over for us.” We laughed at that, remembering how he was always pretending to be mad at us for eating at his place too much.

“We’d be together forever… We’d win…” you whispered and I couldn’t hold back the sob that fought its way out. I had to turn away from you for a moment to try and compose myself, even though I heard you crying right next to me. We knew it was impossible, but for a few sweet moments we let ourselves imagine our life together. No one spoke then and after a little while I heard rustling of you getting up.

I didn’t want to look. I didn't want to see you leave and I didn't want you to see me cry. But I knew I’d never see you again and everything be damned, I wouldn’t waste my last chance to lay my eyes on you.

You smiled and even with your face all wet and red and puffed up from crying, you were the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.

“I better go,” you whispered again and gestured to the door, “before my dad finds out.” I laughed at the irony of the words. And then I nodded. “Yeah… See you.” The hopeful tone I said those words in was completely against my will. I wouldn’t. But I wanted to believe. You didn’t reply to that and then you slipped inside, forever slipped out of my reach.

I don’t know how much time passed, but when Seonghwa found his way to the balcony, I was still numbly sitting in the chair looking out into the gardens with dried tears on my face. Within few seconds he was on me, holding my shoulder and looking at me with gentle sad eyes, asking me what happened. I was silent. When he was guiding me back inside, I was silent. When Yunho saw us and walked over with concern written all over his face, I was silent. When we were walking out, while we were driving back home, when we were standing in the elevator taking us up to our flat, I was silent. All I could do was wish. Wish we could be heroes, just for one day.

A/N: hope you liked it! don't be shy ^^

#kim hongjoong #ateez #ateez fic #ateez angst #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #kim hongjoong angst #kim hongjoong x reader #kim hongjoong fic #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong ateez #hongjoong angst #ateez fanfic #atz #hongjoong fic #hongjoong

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reedfulton · 6 months ago

Note

hii!! I was wondering if we can get some of your charlie/fulton hcs, or just about them in general. I saw on your fulton rarepairs post that they were one of your pairs and i’d love to hear more on what you have to say about them (bc you didn’t get to in the post) bc I really love them and their paring.

omg absolutely!! sorry, i've totally abandoned tumblr because of school commitments and stuff so i hope this ask isn't too old lmao. but anyway, here are some of my hcs for them!! they're one of my favorite pairs ever and i'm honestly very surprised that more people don't ship them.

i've always said that i think they're childhood friends. i think i posted something about it a long time ago and then proceeded to not elaborate on it, but i always thought that fulton's home life wasn't great and so he was kind of allowed (or forced) to wander minneapolis/stillwater just to get out of the house. i did the math at one point and realized that the diner that casey works at is kind of in-between the heart of minneapolis and stillwater, so it wouldn't be insane to think that fulton might have ended up at the diner a lot as a kid. i think he and casey became 'friends' first (casey practically adopted him) and then when casey brought charlie to the diner because she didn't have anyone to watch him, they became fast friends

their friendship started off so well because fulton was extremely shy and charlie could talk to a brick wall and make good conversation, so charlie didn't really expect anything from fulton and fulton has no problem sitting and listening and retaining information from stories and stuff. that's kind of how their relationship works too lmao. charlie's always talking about random things and his wikipedia deep dives and hockey stats and fulton will definitely talk back if he has something to say, but sometimes charlie just needs a sounding board and fulton is more than happy to be that for him (and charlie is very impressed with all the random stuff fulton remembers just because charlie's the one that told him)

fulton's had a crush on charlie since they were in peewees. i don't think they were still super close when fulton joined the ducks, but they definitely still spoke to each other in class and stuff, and fulton joining sparked their friendship (and fulton's feelings for charlie) again. it's a super cute puppy-love kind of crush, and fulton has absolutely no clue how to deal with it lol. it's also definitely why fulton was watching the D5 games before he ever joined the team, and why he was so ready to fight the hawks the second he had the opportunity.

they definitely have one of those relationships where most people can't even tell if they're best friends or dating. they don't really do PDA (other than charlie laying on him like a cat, which he also does with a lot of people), and 'dude' is their main term of endearment in public lol.

casey LOVES fulton so much it's insane. charlie jokes that when they come home for breaks, she's more excited to see fulton than she is to see him and hes right

fulton's the little spoon but he'd kill anyone that ever found out

charlie is exactly 3 inches taller than fulton and it pisses fulton off to NO END. charlie knows this and definitely teases him about it.

i think once charlie bulks up a bit (probably like junior/senior year) they get to a point where they can wear each other's clothes and then just. never stop. at this point they don't even know who's clothes originally belonged to who anymore.

their first kiss happens after a game where charlie got injured and fulton felt so bad that he couldn't do anything about it that he's fussing over charlie in the locker room afterwards and bumbling his way through apologizes and charlie just. kisses him to shut him up as a funny haha joke but then realizes how fulton reacted to it and is like "oh shit this is actually A Thing"

fulton fell first charlie fell harder

they don't do PDA but they're all over each other the second they're alone. both of them have definitely made the other one irish goodbye at multiple events just so they can go home and make out and cuddle

sorry if these make ZERO sense i definitely was Not writing these at work :D. but i love talking about them so thank you so much for this ask! if you have any other prompts or ideas for them or anything do not hesitate to reach out, now that my semester is over and i'm just working full-time i totally have extra time and want to be more active on here :]

#this was so fun omg #the mighty ducks #mighty ducks #fulton reed #charlie conway #fulton/charlie #i love them so much it's insane

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thatmarvelobsessedteen · 5 months ago

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Not planned...not at all

Cassian x reader

Azriel x OC! reader'scousin

Short Summary: Two girls, cousins, somehow find themselves inside a slightly modified version of their favorite book saga ACOTAR. What will happen to them, things have changed and not just their situation but themselves...are those pointy ears they now have?

Chapter 17

"Shit I'm stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid..."

Frustrated that I'd taken so long to figure it out I bring the heel of my hand to my forehead repeatedly until Roxy stopped me confused.

"Yes I know, we know, but why is it this time?"

I pout, it all made sense and I'd ruined it, stupid as always.

"He was flirting, Roxanne! Fred, last year when I told him 'make me' when he told me to shut up, he leaned in to kiss me and i punched his gut."

For further info Fred was an club mate of Roxanne from judo, we'd met when I tried judo for a while and it's safe to say I used to be head over heels for the guy. Red head, protective and funny a bit much of a geek and freak... exactly my type

"That's why he'd say good girl when we were training! He was making innuendos and I would just smile and hug him...why?! I liked him, I should've done something"

Roxy blinked for a moment before bursting out laughing.

"That was a year ago, how the fuck do you notice it just now?!"

"I don't know, I liked the guy, you know I go stupid when I like the guy..."

"Yeah but my god, was he really that forward and you just what? Said 'aw thanks you're a nice guy too' each time he called you a good girl!"

Roxanne was almost crying at this point, which was apparently all she needed for her wings to poof away.

"Yeah? Maybe? I'm sorry... I'm pitiful"

"You most definitely are, also why was I never informed of all those things?"

I shrugged keeping my eyes down, my face burning up with embarrassment. All the others were looking, I really shouldn't have just blurted that out.

"Yup she's like that all the time, I'm telling you there's no boredom around that girl! Really...now you've got the actual tea!"

Thinking Roxanne was speaking to someone of the inner circle I wanted to melt and disappear from embarrassment, which didn't actually work but it did poof away my own wing...God knows if I'll ever get them back or even how!

But looking up I saw Roxy wasn't speaking to any of the fae in the room but to small little tendrils and ghost-like shadow, chatting like they were her new best friends.

"I've been replaced by shadows...now that's depressing"

I probably didn't seem quite affected though, I mostly thought it was cool that Roxy could speak with them we'd get real good tea thanks to that and top tier info!

Turning to face Azriel the only other person that can speak to shadows and decide to take my revenge for the hair pulling.

"Maybe that's why you ain't got no friends other than these two!"

Noticing I'd turned my back to the beautiful creature I had obsessed over, when he was only words on paper, I turned again to face Cassian.

Only now that no one's fighting or freaking out, including myself, I can finally take a good look.

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #acotar x oc #acotar x reader #acotar x you #azriel x oc #cassian #cassian acotar #cassian x oc #cassian x reader

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silvertsundere · 2 years ago

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Silver Talks AniManga (23/04/23)

another chill week HOWEVER tuesday is a holiday and I got pto for monday AND there's not gonna be a jump issue cause of golden week so I'll some of that extra time to watch at least the first 3 eps (the good ol rule) of some of the anime this season and try to put a dent on all the old "watching" stuff I had from years ago before I start going through the stuff I've missed over the years and before I start my next big manga binge

Anime

Mashle Ep3

it was an alright episode, nothing really to note, I do be liking the voice acting tho (for the most part)

Jigokuraku Ep4

I was right it was very good, takarie going off fr this season with yuzuriha, the megumin spinoff and hoshino ai too

the quality of the anime is still consistent which is good, gabimaru did some cool flashy stuff, tho it annoyed me that the panel with genryuusai's peeled face was only a handful of frames cause it felt like it had a lot more impact in the manga, but I know I'm gonna have to get used to that since it's an anime and all that

Pokemon Horizons Ep3

nothing crazy but still a very nice episode, like I said next time, it just feels like a breath of fresh air to not have ash around, it feels like the anime isn't shackled anymore to the gyms -> championship formula and it can start exploring more stuff. roy is joining the cast next week so I hope he isn't annoying. also I thought it was strange the anime was set in kanto since this is the gen 9 anime but they ARE going to paldea so that's good

Manga

Dandadan Ch102

continuation of vamola's backstory feelsbadman. got to her mech suit tho pog

JOJOLands Ch3

decent chap, not much happened unlike the previous one but that's ok, we got the first stand fight brewing tho so that's good

Jojo: Hol Horse/Josuke Spinoff Ch15

decent chap, good to see hol's character arc throughout the whole manga finally come to it's peak, next chap is the last but it had a nice little run

Tokyo Underworld Ch38

I said some week's ago hirasaka was gonna die and they really filled this chap with red flags for him lol

The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins Ch 22

Jiangshi X Ch13

nothing of note tbh, they're still moping around what happened and not moving on fast enough

Fabricant 100 Ch19

ah, #1 finally showed up so it's finally gearing up for the end, took a bit longer than expected but saw it coming for a while

Kill Blue Ch2

decent chap, with some plot progression at the end, nice to see it progressing already instead of fucking around for too long

Witch Watch Ch106

a good chap, I figured it wouldn't work just like that but it's a good start, doesn't seem like the next chap will continue it since it doesn't say part 1 but would be for moi to realize his feelings already

Cipher Academy Ch21

a good chap, funny seeing nisio just break the 4th wall like this the cover was really cool too and, like usual, I feel bad for the translator having to explain all the code cards

Blue Box Ch98

good chap, even if things didn't go right for poor taiki, I believe in him tho, and with the big 100 around the corner I'm hoping for some development

Tenmaku Cinema Ch3

I really didn't expect her to be so silly from her introduction but it's very good, good chap too and not taking too long with developments either which is always good to see early on, ofc it should be expected from a veteran duo

Mashle Ch153

this is the classic mash we know and love, good chap

Undead Unluck Ch156

good chap, I didn't expect that development at the end but it was about time something didn't go exactly according to fuuko's plan

Sakamoto Days Ch116

good chap, it's cool to see sakamoto get serious once in a while, tho we're prob gonna lose rion soon :(

The Elusive Samurai Ch107

good chap, certainly didn't expect this, but since this happened it prob means we're closer to the end than I thought

Akane-banashi Ch59

GREAT chap, god I love akane she's such a good character, really looking forward to her doing the full story

Ayakashi Triangle Ch127

nice chap, funny to see mei act all tsundere but still helping on her own way

#silver talks animanga

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nightcall99 · 4 months ago

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Dreams from 19.7.24

Dream 1: I was in a classroom and sitting at a desk with ED (a co-worker/friend from 5 years ago). We got along really well, we were chatting and mucking around as class was happening. We had one of those puzzle and game books and were working through the pages to pass the time. One of the most satisfying games was a matching-the-clue-to-a-word game and eventually the words we guess right would spell a sentence. I found it quite fun, but mostly because I was with ED. We talked to the students around us and as they did other things. There didn't seem to be any teacher around. I started talking to a girl about how I thought I was neurodivergent. I said, I think I have autism, when I'm masked I'm normal and you can't even tell because I'm very polite but without the mask I can unintentionally come across as rude and abrasive. ED joined the conversation and said, Me too, that's me as well. I then tried to tell her, Omg that's autism! Are you also sensitive to light and noise? She wasn't. I got excited because I wanted to label her so we could have more in common or some misplaced sense of 'help' where I thought it would benefit her to be aware of it. But I realised it was pointless and not supposed to be part of her experience, so I dropped it.

Then some guy in the class wanted the puzzle book for himself but we refused to give it to him. Some other girl was speaking on his behalf and kept trying to get to us to hand it over. I said, Why doesn't he go to the shop and buy himself one? She said, Because it's like $50 (I think because now it's a rare/old edition) and he can't afford that. After some fighting the guy ended up taking the book off of us. I didn't understand what he was in it for him since we had already filled out all the puzzles so it's not even going to be fun for him. What was the point? I saw him leaf through the pages. Then we had to move to a different classroom and I entered it alone and chose a place to sit down, thinking that when ED caught up she would sit next to me. But she was already on the other side of the room and told me to come over there.

Dream 2: I was in a house and there was a big gathering of family and friends (no one I recognised). We were celebrating something, maybe it was Christmas. Some kid walked in who I recognised as the actor who plays Luke in Modern Family. He looked like he was in his early teens and then when I blinked, I saw him running around the room looking like he was only 8 years old (just like in the earlier seasons). I said to his friend, Did I see that right? The friend said, Yeah he does that sometimes. When I looked at Luke again, he now looked like a teen and then as he was walking away, back to the 8 year old. He didn't say anything to me, he seemed to think it was funny that he could change forms. Other than that, I remember I was interacting with heaps of people which is unlike me irl. I was really happy to engage with everyone and it was like I was a bit manic, or at least just feeling very free to be myself and soak up the good energy. I seemed to know everyone and everyone I came across, I got along with them easily. The energy was very exciting and suspenseful.

Then in the next scene I am walking the streets of the city on my own, when just before I had been with a great many people. It felt like New Year's Eve. I had on a beautiful shin-length party dress and high heels and I felt great. My feet weren't even hurting, in fact I was barely conscious of even having a body. I knew that it was about 11:20pm, so only around 40 minutes left of the year. While I walked, I suddenly thought about the TG chat and were you guys all were. The feeling was I had been with you guys, but you had moved on to another place or scattered and I wanted to find you guys again. Mort replied to me. I don't know what he said but the energy was like we were old friends. In fact, the feeling that pervaded this part of the dream was exactly the feeling of the three of us chatting last night which happened at around 11:20pm too. Subconsciously, it felt like I was 'waiting' for Mort's birthday (even though consciously I did not care), just like I was waiting for midnight in this dream. There was an excitement that nobody knows what to with, and it's only just registering.

As I walked through the city streets, I came across my mother and her friends. She said something low-vibe in Vietnamese, probably shit about me, but I didn't care, I didn't stop. I continued on. Then my father messaged me saying the nursing home tried to get into contact with him and he didn't know why. In the dream, I had tried to get into contact with them a long time ago asking advice about a particular health problem but they were only just now replying. The message they sent him (instead of to me) was referring to him like wasn't even there or sound of mind/able-bodied, like he was a resident of the nursing home, when he isn't. I kept wondering where everyone was.

Dream 3: I was at work in the back area and a big white fluffy dog came up to me. I was highly affectionate toward it and I was so excited to see it. I was saying cutesy stuff to it and another co-worker who was there too watched me and smiled.

Dream 4: I was in somebody else's body and I had just realised. It was a female body. I felt how it was to have someone else's genitalia which disgusted me for a millisecond but mostly I was just shocked to realise I had a human body at all. It's like I hadn't realised I was in a body but I began to recognise that it had been me all along. I then came to realise that I had in fact swapped bodies with anyone at all, it's that I had gone through life unaware of having a body and the strange feeling overtook me just now. It think this dream is about me perceiving the NPC body as foreign.

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evilkitten3 · 28 days ago

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#i dont go here and have no idea what this means but its funny#<-prev me too#save

@ospreyonthemoon @thealchemistal (also @rotary-phonecall; sorry missed you but in my defense you reblogged it as i was typing all this lol)

it's funnier in context, so i'll explain!

in volume 64 of the naruto manga (pages 68-69, at least in the japanese version), naruto confronts two of the series main antagonists, madara and obito. i'm not very good at taking pictures, but i couldn't find the pages online, so i did my best. the scene in question:

transcript:

madara: ...your specialty, the shadow clone? even if it's a forbidden high class ninjutsu, you're just multiplying the same incompetent person, so... naruto: i ain't incompetent!! kakashi: cut it out, naruto...! there's no point in shadow clones that'll just divide your chakra even more than this! even if it can be used as a distraction, it won't be a decisive blow... if you fall... we'll lose this war! madara: in the end, just a motley crew... (note: the actual translation of the phrase he uses isn't exactly "motley crew", but that's the official english translation and i can't think of a better one that would still make sense for naruto to not understand) naruto: huh!? m... motley crew...!? madara: sure enough, incompetent. obito: he's saying that even if you increase the number of heads, it's meaningless if they're all empty. you and i are, in the end, both powerless shinobi. you also... no, everyone someday... will end up like me.

(relevant part ends here; i can transcribe the rest if anyone wants but for now this is fine)

the term madara uses stems from the chinese term 烏合 (wūhé), meaning "to gather together without discipline, like a murder of crows", and the earliest source i could find is from the dongguan hanji, a text from the han period of china. specifically, this was said by a staff official of the warlord gongsun shu, who was belittling liu xiu (later known as emperor guangwu, so you can guess how that particular dispute went). the thing is. most of the dongguan hanji is lost (i think they've managed to restore some of it, but the original text had 143 volumes, and we have under 30 afaik), and it's also from a fuckass long time ago (it was written by a bunch of people over a couple hundred years, starting in 72 ce, but the final revision was made in 220 ce, so it's. old. old as balls), so naruto not understanding wtf he's talking about is understandable bc naruto is not exactly what you would call booksmart.

madara is a character who died like sixty years ago (muramachi/azuchi-momoyama fusion period to meiji/taishou/shouwa fusion period speedrun, i guess?) and then got better and then died again a little under twenty years ago, and while you might think this is his third life he's actually still dead here and will be for the next ohhhh three hours or so, give or take.

meanwhile obito, back when he was a happy cheerful kid who hadn't realized everything sucks forever and he should start killing people about it yet, used to be really good at helping out the elderly (he met madara when madara was an old man on magic treeman life support which makes obito pretty much the only human character in the whole story who's actually seen madara as an old man bc when he got brought back as basically-a-zombie-but-with-ninja-magic the guy who did it played around with the technique a little to bring him back at his prime.

basically, imagine if your great great granddad popped out of the dirt to fight you in the desert, then called you an incompetent idiot while using a phrase from a book you've never heard of and you had no clue what he was talking about until your most mentally ill uncle opts to translate for you.

the scene was and is phenomenal, and it was actually a lot more popular in the japanese fandom than the english one from what i could tell, but it spawned a bunch of fanart and comics concerning obito and/or madara teaching/making fun of naruto and the others.

(for anyone wondering: here is my favorite, which happens to also be the comic that inspired my original post way up there. it's in japanese, but the basic idea should be fairly clear and it's funny even if you can't read it imo)

it would've been really funny if madara had just kept using words naruto didn't know and obito kept pausing to explain them to him, with the words getting more and more obscure each time and naruto starting to just automatically look to obito for help all while obito wonders if one or both of them is messing with him but they're genuinely dead serious

#naruto #naruto shippuden #uchiha madara #uchiha obito #uzumaki naruto #hatake kakashi #maito gai #translation #japanese #chinese #(well. not much translation from chinese bc i don't speak it and the only source i found explaining the relevant sentence was in japanese #and i am not good enough to read that nor do i want to subject anyone to multiple layers of google translate's bs)#also. since you two are new here. you should know that the scarred guy has spent the past 17-ish years pretending to be the long-haired guy #but since everyone thought both of them were dead he first pretended to be. just some guy who acted like an idiot #also he was the very first person to hold naruto after he was born! both in his arms and at knifepoint!

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yourflowersfirst · 6 months ago

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page 252

potential song lyrics? are they any good???

she stopped outside the liquor store, but she’s too young to get in. they ask her why she talks so loud, “what d’you do with all that mouth?”

“well, if you’re not scared of jesus, then fuck around and find out.”

she’s got the radio blasting, crying hard when she arrives. but when they look, they never see her as she’s wiping her “fuck me eyes”.

she’s reviled and revolted and so much fun until you get to know her. you’ll remember her crooked smile, she’ll make damn sure.

she goes to church straight from the club. they say she looks just like her mama before the drugs.

she just laughs and says, “i know, she really taught me well. she’s no good at raising children, but she’s good at raising hell.”

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

pages 253-255

“sooo..” vincent side eyed me thoughtfully, popcorn bag steaming in his hands. “you won’t shut up about him. what exactly do you like about this guy?”

i looked up from my notebook. my pen was dying on the page. “do you want a serious answer, or a stupid one?” vincent had been moved out for a few weeks now; he was over to watch the new fallout show i’d come to love, taking a break in between episodes. we about to start episode 5, our dogs play fighting in the living room, obviously having missed each other. it felt like nothing had changed even though everything had changed. my heart panged painfully in my chest, but snapped out of my sad line of thinking when he replied.

“every answer you give to everything is stupid,” he tried to toss some popcorn in his mouth. it missed, ricocheting off his face, landing on the kitchen floor; karma had struck. fuji swept it up before i could even blink. “i guess both. gimme both.”

i glared at him for the comment, but stood up and began pacing around the kitchen area as i considered what vincent asked. “well. i like his mouth.”

“... really? his mouth?”

“yeah. i like how he says things. how words fit in his mouth. i like the cadence of his voice, remember it clearly in my mind from all those years ago. love his smile when i say something funny, love imagining how the corners of his lips quirk up when i text something sweet or, ya know, ridiculous. it makes me feel like i’ve won something, makes my stomach roll around… makes my heart pound fast enough to make me dizzy.”

vincent snorted. “you’re pathetic, and also gay. what’s the stupid answer?”

“huge balls. biggest balls on a guy i’ve ever seen.”

“booooo! wow, i was right. both of those answers are god damn terrible. also, women can’t be funny, so your cute little description has some issues.”

i walked over and slugged him in the arm, causing him to raise his hands in surrender. i broke out into a grin in spite of myself, my smile as crooked as ever. “you asked! you’re right, though, i am pathetic. sue me.” i felt how stupid my teeth looked when i smiled and made a mental note to finally get an invisalign.

#day1411

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blueskiesrry · 10 months ago

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an ode to sad songs

“It’s getting late,” Louis says over a yawn. “We should sleep. Come on, you can stay here. I’ll find you something to sleep in.”

Harry protests as Louis stands from the couch. “Lou, no, it’s fine. I should get home.” He rubs at his eyes before widening them to show Louis how awake and sober he is. The air is sharp on his eyes the more he exposes them, and he can feel the alcohol pumping through his veins, making his bones heavy.

Louis chuckles, shaking his head with a bemused smile, turning to make his way to his room. “Don’t be silly. Come on, get movin’ before I change my mind.” He’s gone before Harry can object further.

Harry shakes out his limbs with a deep sigh, reminding himself of all of the countless times he slept next to Louis when they were younger. When they were eight and Harry was going through an embarrassing bedwetting stage but Louis spent the night anyway. When Harry snuck into Louis’ room in the middle of the night after receiving a frantic phone call from fifteen-year-old Louis, concerned about his parents fighting downstairs. When Louis would end up squeezing into Harry’s tiny twin bed in college after a night out, unsure of how he got there in the morning. He could lay in the same bed as Louis tonight. It should be as easy as breathing.

Harry takes another deep breath to collect himself before making his way to Louis’ room. Louis is already in bed so he makes quick work of peeling off his jeans and pulling on the sweatpants Louis has set out for him. He avoids looking at Louis until he’s crawled into bed himself, and he only spares a glance to ask silent permission to turn off the lamp. Louis nods wordlessly, so Harry bathes the room in darkness.

Laying on his back and staring at the ceiling makes Harry feel more sober than he had a few minutes ago. Harry is unsure of how long they lay there. He knows that Louis is still awake, his breathing not yet evened out. Harry knows exactly how Louis sounds when he’s asleep.

The next day, Harry won’t know what it was that led him to say anything. Maybe he wasn’t as sober as he thought and the wine had been liquid courage, or maybe it was simply the proximity of Louis. Regardless, there is something that makes him blurt out, “I think I might be in love with you,” as if there would be no consequences. The next day, he’ll reason with himself that he didn’t mean to say it, but deep down he’ll know he did.

Louis’ breathing pounds in Harry’s ears, and he’s suddenly thankful that it’s too dark to see Louis’ face.

And then Louis laughs. “Harry, you’re funny.” He continues to chuckle.

Harry’s whole body is covered in chills, and the pile of blankets on top of him feels suffocating. While usually inviting, the warmth radiating off of Louis’ body burns. He visualizes his bones and muscles turning to stone like that one disease he read about a few months ago.

“I’m not joking,” he says after swallowing down every thought screaming at him for opening his big mouth. The little man in his head might have a point.

“Harry, please,” Louis quips, his tone airy and light. “As if you’re in love with me.”

Harry stays quiet and so does Louis. The silence is far louder than speaking could ever be, and Harry can’t help but feel that it says a thousand more words, too. It sticks to his skin and feels like cotton in his mouth.

“You’re drunk and you haven’t been with anyone in a while, but it’s alright.” Harry jumps when Louis pats his hand. “I’m sure you’ll find someone who adores you, soon. Really. It can’t be that hard. Who wouldn’t be in love with you?”

Apparently you, Harry bitterly thinks. “That’s not it at all.” Harry cringes at the roughness to his voice, giving away the tears pressing against the back of his eyes.

The bed bounces slightly when Louis shifts to lay on his side, his eyes a laser through Harry’s skull.

“H, I’m flattered. Really, I am.” Louis’ breath is hot against the side of his neck. Harry imagines blisters coating the area. “But you’re not in love with me. I–” Louis pauses to collect himself– “I mean, of course you love me. I’m your best friend. But you’re not in love with me.”

But what if I am? Harry’s brain screams. He tries to blink away the tears filling his eyes, searching the ceiling as if it has the answer. The wet cement at the bottom of his lungs starts to dry.

“Oh, my Harry,” Louis says with a soft laugh, no doubt finding out Harry is crying when he caresses his cheek, catching some of the tears on his thumb. How could this be so funny to him? “Someone like you can’t be in love with someone like me. It just doesn’t work that way. Now come on, have a cuddle, it’ll make you feel better.”

Harry doesn’t stop Louis from maneuvering him until his back is pressed to Louis’ chest. A few more silent tears slip down Harry’s face, but he reaches up to wipe them away. Louis’ hand is pressed right above the pit in his stomach. Maybe he can feel it.

Louis eventually falls asleep, his even breaths scattering more blisters along the back of Harry’s neck. Harry allows himself a few more tears.

In the morning, when Harry wakes up to the light shining through the windows, a jackhammer in his head, and puffy, cotton eyes, he’s pretty sure he hasn’t slept a wink. Louis doesn’t mention it, so neither does Harry, but that doesn’t stop the mantra in his head, hung up on a banner in his frontal lobe.

Someone like you can’t be in love with someone like me.

#drabble #snippet #writing #fanfic #louis tomlinson #harry styles #one direction #everything i write is sad

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