#funny that male characters can learn and be irrational and be emotional but not female characters who have been through hell
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ronanceisintheair · 1 year ago
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Nancy's only crime is being a teenager. Honest and truthfully. Like her actions are all actions of a desperate, depressed, lost and confused teenager. Like people will really stand and fully villify an emotionally broken teenage girl.
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sextonsharpwinhalstead · 3 years ago
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The majority of the Chicago Med fandom is a joke and very anti woman(the writers are full of crap and very sexist). I was going through the Chicago med subreddit and a account made a post stating that they did not like Ethan’s character because he’s very judgemental and etc. I looked through the comments and guess what?? You had people saying “he’s hot so I’ll give him a pass”, the same sentiment was stated when another user also complained about Will. What’s funny is that you’ll have multiple posts stating that they hate Natalie and April, at the same time calling them b*tch and also stating that you feel like physically harming them. As you’ve mentioned before the writers have groomed/prepared the audience to be very antagonist and use very antagonistic language towards the female characters in Chicago Med. It’s very concerning but not surprising that in this day and age you’ve male writers that are still writing female characters like this🤢
The One Chicago Universe is very conservative. It's why there are virtually no LGBTQ+ characters, almost no story lines for the POC and shallow stories for the women. They try and pretend that they are left leaning but often their stories feel very hollow and they don't really say anything, if a character supposedly learns something about a life they didn't know about then there's an assumption that they've grown or changed especially if the character is shown to have cried at the end of the episode because they were so moved by their case or patient only to behave or say something episodes later as though nothing in them was affected at all.
All is almost always forgiven as long as the character is male. They can get on some fans nerves but overall most fandom rally around white male leads first then surrogate women second who are usually white. Everyone else is paid dust.
It would be annoying if it were just fandoms but the show in itself reaffirms the viewpoint of these fans. Usually the most conservative ones. It's why there was no real reasons given for why the women do what they do. Sarah's PTSD NEVER made sense and they worked overtime to desexualize her and make her look irrational and emotional. Natalie's grief was given very little room and she is actually the most interesting when she's just working and keeping her head down. She's a good doctor the first season and then...she never works a case alone again and becomes the worst with zero explanation. The same can be said of April, watch how she delivers her lines in the beginning of the show versus the end. There is zero reason given for why she developed feelings for Marcel or Ethan tbh and more and more I believe the whole thing with Marcel was written so she could be a punching bag for the fandom. Although there were aspects of Ava's story that made sense even up to the shocking way she exited the show it NEVER made sense for her to reject Connor with ZERO explanation after she finally hooked up with him. Once again, she was a character used as a punching bag, we were supposed to hate her. In the end Ava's story was just an exercise in misogyny. We have no idea why Ava was so obsessed with Connor, we are given no history, family, or friends to even collect her body. If a coworker murdered a prominent board member and was sleeping with someone they all claimed to be friends with and then KILLED herself all at work your office would be talking about it for at least a week. It would probably hit the paper considering how famous Connor's family is Chicago.
But nothing was given to it. You really know the show is garbage because for 5 seasons we watched almost all the female characters do wild shit, say wild shit, and behave in a way the writers knew would make the fans throw vitriol their way. When the men screwed up, they were allowed to apologize and state why they behaved the way they did, or come to their senses WITH WORDS! The women were never given that grace. The writers CHOSE to NEVER let them explain any of their actions and then they would air the episode and watch as the women were dragged on Twitter and all of it was done in the guise of getting "strong" opinions. But it was just hate-fishing every week and I think both Torrey and Yaya got really fed up with it. Rachel was the first. I have theories about why she left and hasn't worked since.
Med falls into the traps of a lot of isms. The racism and sexism is so baked in it behaves like a terrible microstudy into why things are the way they are. The show goes against natural chemistry, the flow feels off and confusing because racism and sexism are irrational and they go against nature. It's the reason why so much of the show feels "off." Cause it is. I think that the writers pull together pretty solid scripts and then the producers and show runners get their hands on it and make edits which is why the conclusions feel so hollow, empty, and at times make little to no sense.
They looked like they were trying something new this season but they've fallen back into old habits fairly quickly.
But sadly yeah you're right. It's 2022 and the gatekeepers to our television screens continue to be garbage.
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vivithefolle · 4 years ago
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Hi Vivi, can you share some thoughts on the "Hermione deserves to be/should have married to XYZ because she is way too good for Ron" mentality of this fandom??
I’m gonna copy-paste a Quora answer of mine, because recycling is important!
Claiming that Ron is “out of Hermione’s league” is a statement rooted in sexism, classism and probably a bunch of other -isms.
It might seem like I’m just throwing buzz-words around but let me explain.
First off, the sexism.
Oh, the sexism.
As I’ve pointed it out in yet another one of my answers  (I’m so sorry for drowning you all in a plethora of links), Ron is very much a female-coded male character.
Ron is emotional, wears his heart on his sleeve, has anxieties and inadequacies, walks off in order to cool down, has a temper, puts other people before his needs, and pretty much adopts Harry when he rescues him in the second book. He’s the Heart of the Trio: he doesn’t rely on sole logic, he can believe something without proof, he is sensitive and thus is the easiest to hurt emotionally.
Whether you call it a “beta male���, a “wuss”, “defying gender roles” or a “soft boy” is your own business, but the core of it is that Ron doesn’t meet the standards for people’s vision of a “desirable” masculine figure.
The little things Ron quietly performs in the books - when he helps Harry into his pyjamas in Chamber of Secrets because Harry’s arm is bloop; when he’s worrying about Hermione’s whereabouts in Prisoner of Azkaban; when he helps Harry unwind after his visions in Goblet of Fire; when he puts food onto Harry’s plate and wakes him up from his nightmares in Order of the Phoenix; when he beams that Hermione was “perfect, obviously” when she passes her Apparition test - all those caring gestures don’t seem like much, but if you bother to think about it, they paint an enormous picture.
Who gets Hermione to stop overworking while making her feel good about her accomplishments? Who comforts Harry from his nightmares and cares for him in the dead of the night, when nobody is awake? Who makes sure his friends are healthy and happy? Who wards off the dark and depressing thoughts, be it with his fists or a joke?
It’s Ron.
When you think about it, “traditional masculinity” in Harry Potter is as much frowned upon as “traditional feminity” is - which sometimes bites Rowling in the butt when you remember how she obviously seems to consider that Hermione and Ginny are the only desirable kind of girls.
Vernon Dursley? The entrepreneur “king of the household” prejudiced suburbian middle-class Dad? Fits in the usual tropes of traditional masculinity.
Dudley Dursley? The typical “boys will be boys” spoiled middle-class only child who’s the apple of his parents’ eyes and even takes up boxing, as if he wasn’t traditionally masculine enough.
Draco Malfoy? See Dudley, but toss in “upper-class posh aristocrat bully who doesn’t like to get his hands dirty so he has henchmen do it for him because he’s too rich for this sh-t”, would remind you of a few Christian Greys or Gatsbys.
Dolores Umbridge? Oh no, cat pictures, decorative plates, talks to teens as if they’re babies and PINK, SO MUCH PINK!!! So disgustingly feminine!!
Rowling very much frowns upon traditional gender roles - with Molly Weasley being an exception because Rowling feels very strongly about being a mother, and relates to Molly a lot.
Right - so, being a beautiful mess of paradoxes and contradictions (a “soft boi” who also punches bullies in the face, a fussy mother-hen who swears like a sailor, a tall athlete with badass scars on his arms who’s nurturing and sweet; in short, a wonderfully human character), Ron is obviously going to be a polarizing character. You painfully relate to him and get defensive when he’s criticized, you feel his characterization hits a bit too close to home so you hate him, or you disregard him completely because you can’t see anything “special” about him…
Now, onto another very, very sexist point that is often made.
People say that Hermione “deserves better” than Ron, often claiming that they “aren’t intellectual equals”, then citing Harry (who is mistaken as being some sort of slumbering genius but honestly, the kid is really a bit daft) or Draco (since apparently, being rich must equal to being intelligent) or, god forbid, Snape (because he’s a teacher and teachers are meant to be clever).
Soooo, I could go the loooooong way and pull out all the receipts that prove that none of these characters are perfectly intellectually matched to Hermione…
Or I could go the long way and simply give you this: this obsession with finding an “intellectual equal” for Hermione reflects the mentality of “women are not allowed to be better at something than their husband”.
Yep.
A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.
Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength. - credit to @lytefoot
People don’t want Hermione to be with a man who’s her “equal.” They want her to be with a man who can be The Man so she can know the contentment of being The Woman.
But, with this sexist line of thought, how do we justify how Ron is supposed to be such a bad match for Hermione? Because if it was just about mere sexism, Romione would surely be more popular. Imagine! Ron happily raising the children, being a house-husband and proud of it, while Hermione is out there fighting for justice in the wizarding world! What a power-couple, defying norms and gender roles and not being the least bit conscious of it, prime OTP material for sure! So why do people still want Hermione to put Harry, Draco, or god forbid², Snape in Ron’s place? Is this an irrational hatred of redheads? An Harmionian’s delirious wet dream? A failure to separate the actors from their characters?
It’s all this and, quite frankly, something more: the inherent classism that comes with Ron’s status as an explicitly working-class coded character.
I know, I know, “Vivian! Calm down with the buzzwords, you’re starting to sound like an online pretend-feminist magazine!”
Or “Come on, people who don’t ship Ron and Hermione together aren’t all sexist or classist!”
Of course, of course! I know that! I’m not implying that!
But some of the “reasons” why they claim that Ron and Hermione can’t work - are extremely classist in nature, that’s just it!
Come on, think about it! What are the Number Ones arguments people always pull against Ron? Or the most common Ron-bashing tropes (look at fanfics and watch the number of stories that use at least one of those)?
Ron is stupid/mediocre
Ron is lazy/useless
Ron resents his wife’s hard work/success
Ron is a homophobe
Ron is a drunkard
Ron (the big prude who at 16 had never kissed a girl and sees a first kiss as the prelude to a wedding) is massively oversexed and cheats on Hermione with anything that moves
Not only do these “reasons” completely ignore ALL OF RON’S CHARACTERIZATION - except for the “lazy” bit but come off it, all teenagers are lazy and Hermione’s the exception to the rule - but it matches perfectly with the negative stereotypes associated with working-class white men in fiction.
It’s also very funny to note how many (assumedly middle-class or financially secure) fans look down on Ron for being “whiny” or “greedy” when he expresses the desire to have money of his own, or blame his parents for “not knowing when to stop” or “being irresponsible”, or even look down on them for being “too proud to accept help”!! Also how shocked people are when Ron dares to stand up for himself when Hermione or Harry act badly towards him. How dare this country boy not listen to the wisdom of his social “betters”?
So, obviously, because our Heroine can’t go with a Nasty, Mediocre Working-Class Man, she must be paired off with someone of Proper Status: say, a Hero that was raised in a middle-class home and might be a bit psychologically damaged but it’s nothing all those gold coins in his vault can’t fix; or this Rich Posh Aristocrat who actively rooted for her death, he’s a little bit eccentric and has some exotic pet-names to call you, but I’m sure you’ll learn to love him and will unearth the gold coins in his bank account… I mean, the heart of gold that lies within the surface; oh, why not a Way Too Big An Age Difference Teacher if you’re looking for a “cultured man” who has zero things in common with you; we can also bring Convenient Plot Device Famous Rich Foreign Athlete if you want some diversity and you don’t feel original!
But we can’t - oh, we mustn’t let her be with this Terrible Working-Class Boy! His brothers are fine, they have money, they have jobs, so they’re obviously Not As Mediocre. But let our precious Hermione be with this Just-Got-Out-Of-School hooligan? She can’t possibly be in love with him! You’ll see darling, you’ll get bored eventually! He’s too mediocre for you, you deserve a man who outclasses you - I mean, who can provide for you! You’re a fragile little flower who scars people for life when she’s not happy with them, what makes you think that this boy can possibly handle you even though he’s done so for the past seven years?
You wanted it, you got it.
People are shallow, have misconceptions about Ron’s character that they are unwilling to correct or use classist and sexist arguments to try to make it so that either Ron is the Devil himself / Hermione is a higher kind of being that can only orgasm if sufficiently “intellectually stimulated” / what-have-you.
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juuneaux · 6 years ago
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Free and Full
Of Emotion — A Review of Captain Marvel
SPOILERS AHEAD
Captain Marvel is, in the simplest of terms, iconic. It’s titular character, Carol Danvers, is a powerhouse addition to the MCU and the satisfying result of something a long time coming. Brie Larson is a joy to watch, there are delightful cameos sprinkled throughout, and don’t get me started on the cat, he practically steals the show. The movie as a whole is everything fans of her comic have been waiting for and promises an exciting tie in to next month’s highly anticipated Avengers Endgame. Without putting too fine a point on it, Carol Danvers kicks ass. She is strong, she is funny, and she is powerful like almost no other character we have seen.
Most satisfying of all, she is never objectified or sexualized. There are no leering, slow motion shots panning across her body, her suit is practical and no different from that of her male counterparts. She has no love interest and isn’t forced into a tedious “will they won’t they” plot. Carol’s defining trait is her humanity.
Perhaps most interesting is that she is fully rounded from the moment we meet her. She is already well on her way to being Captain Marvel when the story begins. Her journey is not that dissimilar to that of Thor’s in his introductory film, she has her powers, she has her suit, and her journey begins from there. Her origin happens largely in flashback and exposition, so we don’t spend the movie watching her go from bright eyed recruit to jaded veteran as one might expect from an origin story. Carol is more or less the same person at the end of the movie that she was when she began, she never loses faith and she isn’t forced to lose a part of herself along the course of her journey in order to grow, and that’s oddly refreshing.
Though a stranger to earth, it is never a handicap in Carol’s place. She isn’t made to look helpless or bumbling as she sprints through 90s Los Angeles, “dressed for laser tag” and with a young Agent Fury tailing after her.
Captain Marvel treats its heroine with respect and gracefully circumnavigates the treacherous territory strong female characters often fall into. Yes, she is tough, she is outspoken, and headstrong, but balancing all of those perhaps now cliche traits grafted onto strong female characters, Carol is allowed to have a wide range of emotion and is never compromised by it. She is sad, she is angry, she is confused, and yet she remains in control.
On paper this doesn’t sound much like something to strive for, but historically a woman characterized as such can often fall into the trope of the Hysterical Woman.
It is something strikingly prevalent in media that a strong woman must stifle her emotions in order to make her power valid. If not, she is depicted as irrational, less disciplined, unstable, and thus prone to mood swings and violent overreactions. A woman with great power and strong emotions is volatile, dangerous, unstable. As much can be seen in X-Men’s depiction of Jean Grey as she struggles to maintain dominance over her alter ego as the Phoenix. Time and again, she is warned that she needs to learn to control what she has, for the sake of those around her as much as herself. She is told she is dangerous. With bursts of emotion come bursts of power and then the accompanying fear of that power, built on a bedrock of the warnings she receives from her peers and mentors; control yourself, they tell her, until of course, they need the beast, then it’s ‘let go, Jean’. With that kind of back and forth it is almost no wonder she becomes unhinged. She is made out to be the villain, turned to the dark side, fighting against her friends who try and save her soul until the defining moment when in a burst of high emotion someone is killed, a friend, a loved one.
Captain Marvel does not even bat an eye in the direction of this trope, and to put it frankly, Carol Danvers don’t fuck with that.
Yon Rogg, her Kree mentor played by Jude Law, tells Carol throughout to control herself, get a handle on her emotions, use her head not her heart, and Carol meets his demands with quips and humor typically reserved for characters like Tony Stark and Peter Quill. She, unlike Jean Grey, is never made to struggle with the burden of controlling herself, despite the warnings. As she is often reminded “what has been given can be taken away” Carol isn’t worried, because she as a character has been allowed to have the confidence that even without this incredible power, she can still pretty much kick anyone’s ass. Like Tony Stark without his suit, Carol knows what she’s about and what she is capable of, even when she doesn’t know who she’s meant to be. She wields her power with joy and with anger and without worry, and for that she is made free in a way that most “strong female characters” these days are not.
Even in the climax, when the gloves are off, Law’s character continues to warn her of her emotions. Carol, unchanged and empowered by the knowledge of who she is and what she’s meant to do with her power, owns and trusts her emotion still and uses them to spectacularly vanquish Yon Rogg when he reverts to his old tactics of patriarchal rhetoric and attempts to goad her into one more fight.
“I have nothing to prove to you.” She says, standing tall over her former mentor, a man who lied to and manipulated her for years, knowing the truth of those words there in the end as well ae she did at the beginning. That right there is power in its own right.
Never does the film downplay any aspect of Carol’s personality in order to make her more likable for male audience members. We are expected to take Carol as she is, and as a woman who often struggles with how big her emotions can be, it’s empowering to see Marvel didn’t try to stifle hers.
Bolstered by themes of humanity, the desperation of refugees fleeing unending war, and the closeness of a found family, the film succeeds at being not only iconic, but entirely relevant without beating you over the head with its messages. Tie that to its soundtrack filled with nostalgic bops including the likes of No Doubt, Alanis Morissette, and TLC, and Captain Marvel boasts a brand of 90s girl power that is guaranteed to rouse your inner magical girl like nothing else out there. Do yourself a favor and go see Captain Marvel.
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megashadowdragon · 6 years ago
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some of the comments in the YouTube comment  section
“So in other words slut shaming is wrong in real life but completely ok in fiction. Kinda shows what these people truly think about themselves and their scantily dressed sisters.��� “ Wait a minute an sjw is attacking my girl velvet? Oh boy, I could make a huge thesis paper on why this person's claims just doesn't work but all I'll say is just because velvet is dressed the way she is it doesn't make her in any way weak at all. Moreover it's the fact that she is still a strong woman regardless of her fashion sense. Her journey her struggles and her character development were all the things that bundled up into the reasons why I love her so much as a female lead and as a character “
“ Thanks once again for protecting our waifus form out of control censors and rabid sjw feminists you are the best. All these girls looks beautiful, powerful and unique compared to their boring and outright puritan designs we she in western games. Have you seen the female fighters in MK11 they all wear burqas just with different colors so unimaginative... “
“What kind  of Catch 22 nonsense is this? So if a female character is made by a man then it's shameful because it's appealing to the male gaze. But if it's made by a woman then it's internalized misogyny and still appealing to the male gaze. It would be nice if they pick which is fine and what isn't. So the ideal solution is to just not have female characters and just have male characters, but then it would be seen as sexist to not include female characters. You literally cannot win.Show less” “ "She didn't choose the outfit, the creator did" No shit “
Funny story: “High heels” as we call them today where originally designed to be worn by Nobles (mainly MEN) while riding on hose back. They where never meant to be worn as walking shoes by anyone, regardless of gender, even less so as dress shoes. The where never originally designed to support a person’s weight. The long heels where used in the same way as a cowboy would use the spurs on their boots, its one of the reasons they’re so sharp.
“ Femininity is in part defined by both what men want from women and what women are willingly to do. Generally speaking women want to be beautiful and men want women that way too. It seems to me that these feminist believe feminine beauty is only for men when it's convenient for them. When it's their clothing it's "sex positive" and empowerering when it's animated characters it's "internalized misogyny". It's a double standard that they use like a weapon. Ps. One that occasionally works. Like when Hi-rez covered up Furia's thighs because of complaints. “
“ Fictional characters having no real-world agency has to be the biggest non-argument I've seen and is definitive proof that these losers know they have nothing to complain about, and are just doing it because they need to complain about something to make themselves feel good, but complaining about real issues is too hard apparently. Going by the logic of fictional character having no real-world agency, it's wrong to make any character anything because the fictional character has no say in the matter. They can't be an orphan, a female, an [insert race here], [insert sexual preference here], etc. Heck, or even existing in the first place!
“ Actually Velvet's clothes kinda reflect her state of mind. The tattered state signifies her broken condition while the red and black colours allude to how she has become a violent daemon who only wants revenge against Artorius. But it's not just her clothing that fits her character but that of the other characters in the game as well. Aside from the obvious main characters, I noticed a theme with the uniform of the Abbey high ups. The less the person values emotions, the less colors he has other than  the standard white and gold. We see Artorius mostly lacking any other colour other than the white and gold while Teresa and Oscar have little more. Laphicet has more blue and a collar (can signify his enslavement) while Eleanor wears clothes that are mostly blue with little white. And finally with Shigure, his colors are a contrast as he merely fights for the Abbey because he feels like it and not because he is committed to its ideals. Coming  back to Velvet, I consider her to be one of the best designed female characters in fictional media. Not only does she possess traits that make her an empowering female character but she also has a decent amount of other likeable traits as well. On top of that, she is not devoid of human flaws  like how she is so obsessed with her revenge that she does not care much about anything else, leading to situations like when Phi was forced to open a portal to the leylines or how Innominat almost made her sink into despair. Overall a good character who is also quite human. And this in turn actually fits the themes of human morality in the story really well. While people criticise the slow starting part of the game, it actually serves the purpose of showing us how circumstances changed Velvet from a sweet top waifu material to someone akin to a genderbent Guts/Edmond Dantes. Then as the story progresses, we see her acting like a villain but still root for her because we know what she has been through. Then because of Phi, we do learn that her human side still remained within her and later Phi is able to help her. In the end, she kills Artorious not out of revenge motivated by pure hatred but because the Shepard had lost sight of his own self and ideals. I  noticed that most of the "maxims" Artorius talks about don't exactly feel like maxims when you compare them with Immanuel Kant's philosophy (someone who Artorius seems to follow quite a bit as Kant considers actions driven by principles to be moral instead of those driven by emotions, which he considers irrational) as they have a definite condition/purpose behind them (such as controlling emotions IN ORDER TO control the tide of battle.). From what I read about the Maxim's Kant Spoke of, those maxims were supposed to be unconditional i.e general truth like do good. So we see that Arthur's maxims have conditions which contradicts Kant's definition. Except one. Don't despair. The same one Velvet reminds Artorius as she stabs him. In the end Arthur actually became more of an act utilitarian in his wish to create a peaceful world by removing emotions. That's some really amazing writing right there. Makes me glad I got this game and made me more interested in the Tales series. Hopefully we can see Velvet and Phi reunited in Crestoria. He deserves to be with her far more than Sieg deserves to be with Jeanne. “
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feministlikeme · 7 years ago
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1. Before explaining something to a woman, ask yourself if she might already understand. She may know more about it than you do.
2. Related: Never, ever try to explain feminism to a woman.
3. Trans women are women. Repeat that until you perish.
4. RESPECT PEOPLE’S PRONOUNS. It’s not hard.
5. Remember that fat women exist and aren’t all trying to get thin. Treat them with respect.
6. In fact, just never comment on a woman's body.
7. Be kind to women in customer service positions. Tip them extra. (But not in a creepy way.)
8. Trust women. When they teach you something, don't feel the need to go and check for yourself. And especially do not Google it in front of them.
9. Don’t maintain a double standard for… anything, ever.
10. CLOSE YOUR LEGS ON PUBLIC TRANSIT, OH MY GOD.
11. Trying to describe a woman positively? Say she's “talented,” “clever,” or “funny.” Not “gorgeous,” “sweet,” or “cute.”
12. Examine your language when talking about women. Get rid of “irrational,” “dramatic,” “bossy,” and “badgering” immediately.
13. Don't think to yourself, I describe men like that too. A) You probably don't. B) If you do, it's to criticize them for acting like a woman.
14. Do you love “fiery” Latina women? “Strong” Black women? “Mysterious” Asian women? Stop. Pick up a book on decolonial feminism. Read.
15. Stop calling women “feisty.” We don't need a special lady word for “has an opinion."
16. Recognize women's credibility when you introduce them. “Donna is lovely” is much less useful than “Donna knows shitloads about architecture.”
17. Think about how you describe the young women in your family. Celebrate them for being funny and smart, not for being pretty and compliant.
18. Examine the way you talk about women you’re attracted to. Fat women, old women, queer, trans, and powerful women are not your “guilty crush.”
19. Learn to praise a woman without demonizing other women. “You're not like other girls” is not a compliment. I want to be like other girls. Other girls are awesome.
20. Share writing by women. Don't paraphrase their work in your own Facebook post to show us all how smart or woke you are. I guarantee the woman said it better in the first place.
21. Buy sanitary pads and tampons and donate them to a homeless shelter. Just do it.
22. How much of what you are watching/reading/listening to was made by women? Gender balance your bookcase.
23. Feeling proud of your balanced bookcase? Are there women of color there? Trans, queer, and disabled women? Poor women? Always make sure you’re being intersectional.
24. Don't buy media that demeans women’s experiences, valorizes violence against women, or excludes them entirely from a cast. It's not enough to oppose those things. You have to actively make them unmarketable.
25. Pay attention to stories with nuanced female characters. It will be interesting, I promise.
26. If you read stories to a child, swap the genders.
27. Watch women's sport. And just call it “sports.”
28. Withdraw your support from sports clubs, institutions, and companies that protect and employ rapists and abusers.
29. Stop raving about Woody Allen. I don't care if he shits gold. Find a non-accused-abuser to fanboy over.
30. It's General Leia, not princess. The Doctor has a companion, not an assistant. It's Doctor Bartlett, not Mrs Madame First Lady.
31. Cast women in parts written for men. We know how to rule kingdoms, go to war, be, not be, and wait for Godot.
32. Pay for porn.
33. Recognize that sex work is work. Be an advocate for and ally to sex workers without speaking for them.
34. Share political hot takes from women as well as men. They might not be as widely accessible, so look for them.
35. Understand that it was never “about ethics in journalism.”
36. Speak less in meetings today to make space for your women colleagues to share their thoughts. If you're leading the meeting, make sure women are being heard as much as men.
37. If a woman makes a good point, say, “That was a good point.” Don't repeat her point and take credit for it.
38. Promote women. Their leadership styles may be different than yours. That's probably a good thing.
39. Recruit women on the same salary as men. Even if they don't ask for it.
40. Open doors for women with caring responsibilities by offering flexible employment contracts.
41. If you meet a man and a woman at work, do not assume the man is the superior for literally no reason.
42. If you're wrongly assumed to be more experienced than a woman colleague, correct that person and pass the platform to the woman who knows more.
43. Make a round of tea for the office.
44. Wash it up.
45. If you find you're only interviewing men for a role, rewrite the job listing so that it’s more welcoming to women.
46. Make sure you have women on your interview panel.
47. Tell female colleagues what your salary is.
48. Make sure there's childcare at your events.
49. Don't schedule breakfast meetings during the school run.
50. If you manage a team, make sure that your employees know that you recognize period pain and cystitis as legitimate reasons for a sick day.
51. If you have a strict boss (or mom or teacher) who is a woman, she is not a “bitch.” Grow up.
52. Expect a woman to do the stuff that's in her job description. Not the other miscellaneous shit you don't know how to do yourself.
53. Refuse to speak on an all-male panel.
54. In a Q&A session, only put your hand up if you have A QUESTION. Others didn’t attend to listen to you.
55. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against trans or non-binary people, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for cis women, too.)
56. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against women of other races, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for white women, too.)
57. If you see women with their hands up, put yours down. This can be taken as a metaphor for a lot of things. Think about it.
58. Raising a feminist daughter means she's going to disagree with you. And probably be right. Feel proud, not threatened.
59. Teach your sons to listen to girls, give them space, believe them, and elevate them.
60. Dads, buy your daughter tampons, make her hot water bottles, wash her bras. Show her that her body isn't something to be ashamed of.
61. But dads, do not try to iron her bras. This is a mistake you will only make once.
62. Examine how domestic labor is divided in your home. Who does the cleaning, the childcare, the organizing, the meal budgeting? Sons, this goes for you, too.
63. Learn how to do domestic tasks to a high standard. “I'd only do it wrong” is a bullshit excuse.
64. Never again comment on how long it takes a woman to get ready. WE ARE TRYING TO MEET THE RIDICULOUS STANDARDS OF A SYSTEM YOU BENEFIT FROM.
65. Challenge the patriarchs in your religious group when they enable the oppression of women.
66. Challenge the patriarchs in your secular movement when they enable the oppression of women.
67. Trust women's religious choices. Don't pretend to liberate them just so you can criticise their beliefs.
68. Examine who books your trips, arranges outings, organizes Christmas, buys birthday cards. Is it a woman? IS IT?
69. And if it is actually you, a man, don't even dare get in touch with me looking for your medal.
70. Take stock of the emotional labor you expect from women. Do you turn to the women around you for emotional support and give nothing in return?
71. Remember that loving your mom/sister/girlfriend is not the same as giving up your own privilege to progress equality for women. And that gender inequality extends beyond the women in your direct social group.
72. Don’t assume that all women are attracted to men.
73. Don’t assume that a woman in public wants to talk to you just because she’s in public.
74. If a woman tells you she was raped, assaulted, or abused, don't ask her for proof. Ask how you can support her.
75. If you see a friend or colleague being inappropriate to a woman, call him out. You will survive the awkwardness, I promise.
76. Repeat after me: Always. Hold. Men. Accountable. For. Their. Actions.
77. Do not walk too close to a woman late at night. That shit can be scary.
78. If you see a woman being followed or otherwise bothered by a stranger, stick around to make sure she’s safe.
79. This should go without saying: Do not yell unsolicited “compliments” at women on the street. Or anywhere.
80. If you are a queer man, recognize that your sexuality doesn’t exclude you from potential misogyny.
81. If you are a queer man, recognize that your queer women or non-binary friends may not feel comfortable in a male-dominated space, even if it’s dominated by queer men.
82. Be happy to have women friends without needing them to want to sleep with you. The “friend zone” is not a thing. We do not owe you sex.
83. Remember that you can lack consent in situations not involving sex—such as when pursuing uninterested women or forcing a hug on a colleague.
84. Champion sex positive women but don't expect them to have sex with you.
85. Trust a woman to know her own body. If she says she won't enjoy part of your sexual repertoire, do not try to convince her otherwise.
86. Be sensitive to nonverbal cues from women, especially around sex. We’re not just being awkward for no reason. (You read “Cat Person,” didn’t you?)
87. It is not cute to try to persuade a woman to have sex with you. EVER. AT ALL. Go home.
88. Same goes for pressuring women to have sex without a condom. Go. Home. And masturbate.
89. Accidentally impregnated a women who doesn't want a kid? Abortions cost money. Pay for half of it.
90. Accidentally came inside a woman without protection? Plan B is expensive. Pay for all of it.
91. Get STD tested. Regularly. Without having to be asked.
92. Examine your opinion on abortion. Then put it in a box. Because, honestly, it's completely irrelevant.
93. Understand that disabled women are whole, sexual human beings. Listen to and respect them.
94. Understand that not all women have periods or vaginas.
95. Believe women's pain. Periods hurt. Endometriosis is real. Polycystic ovaries, vaginal pain, cystitis. These things are real. Hysteria isn’t.
96. If a woman accidentally bleeds on you, try your absolute best to just keep your shit together.
97. Lobby your elected officials to implement high quality sex education in schools.
98. Uplift young Black and Indigenous girls at every possible opportunity. No excuses.
99. Do not ever assume you know what it’s like.
100. Mainly, just listen to women. Listen to us and believe us. It’s the only place to start if you actually want all women to have a “Happy International Women’s Day.”
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knightofbalance-13 · 7 years ago
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https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/174162891984/makas-character-vs-rubys-lack-of-it
I barely know much about Soul Eater...and yet even I knew you’re full of shit
Sad thing is: you’re making SOUL EATER look bad, not RWBY.
“I struggled what to call this hell what to even talk about given ruby’s lacking characterization.
In this waste of post I want to talk about how miles in unfair to soul eater by ignoring maka’s character and point on the already known lacking bits of ruby’s.“
Spoiler alert: He’s gonna be FAR more unfair to both parties but especially Maka.
Now if you’re not familiar with soul eater I suggest watching the anime then reading the manga do to it branching off from the anime (But I say do both cause you’ll miss some amazing voice acting, animation and music from skipping the anime.)
Seriously? You are gonna argue Maka Albarn’s character...by recommending the ANIME?
The same anime that COMPLETELY fucked over Maka’s character into being an unlikeable, obnoxious bitch who randomly assaults male characters for showing attraction to female characters as well as being irrational about her father to the point that she has to be FORCED to spend time with a man who literally revolves his life around her? 
See, this kind of paints a bad picture of you Soku: YOU SOUND LIKE A SOUL EATER STAN. You sound like you are so blind with admiration for the series that it can do no wrong in your eyes, despite the fact that the anime fucked over Maka by flanderizing aspects of her character to the point of making her unlikeable (believe me, I tried my DAMNDEST to like Maka in the anime) and making a DEUS EX MACHINA ENDING. No amount of animation, voice acting and music can salvage something like these two.
Maka’s a scythe master, a cheerful young girl she’s direct, she loves books to the point of having to be dragged outside by friends and she’s a brilliant strategist. I love maka cause she’s very hardworking as we would see evident to both media she’s from she’s constantly striving to reach goals better fighters can get to on pure strength and shows that a strong mind can overcome a stronger fighter.
And the best part is we’re shown her reading books, she’s often reading something that catches her interest or studying to better herself. (It’s even a plot point when needed to learn more about a scholar and powerful fighter from the past.) Although she’s now without her flaws, she grows past them to work alongside her friends even if certain one’s can try her patience. 
Funny how you don’t mention these flaws and just gloss over them. Almost as though you feel insecure about Maka.
Let me inform everyone about Maka’s flaws: She’s irrational. She hates her dad for cheating on her mom which is understandable...to an extent. Thing is, her dad Soul REVOLVES HIS LIFE AROUND HER. He makes it constantly clear that he loves Maka with all his heart and soul and is constantly CRUSHED by her rejections. It’s said that Maka does this because she fears rejection but if that were the case then why would she subject her own father to that?
Not only that, Maka has a SEVERE tendency to assault male characters for acting perverted. Like, I know this is a thing in anime but with the way the she acts, you’d think she’s assault Mineta or Master Roshi, not guys casually remarking about people’s attractiveness. In fact, Maka’s pretty tempermental as well, attacking a lot of people who annoy her. Not to mention how she doesn’t read to better herself, she does it because she’s competitive and insecure, to the point it fucks with her in battles and in school. And for a few these (like her issues with her father): She never gets over.
Which is FINE. It’s her character. Not this Mary Sue cardboard cut out you made. The Maka YOU described sounds boring, unrelatable and fucking bad.
Now let’s go over Ruby
Despite ruby’s quick deterioration as a character she did have some characteristics to her in the past, in volume 1 she was afraid to branch out and used her sister as a security blanket, she had a fondness for weapons but it has dropped for a while then only brought up once, she was optimistic to a fault as that was the only trait she has as we continued, and she also likes books but mentioned it once and we’ve yet to see her bring it up again.
Gah! see this is me genuinely trying to like ruby as a character but sadly she’s not got as much to offer as maka does. Ruby as does many other character in rwby start deconstructing as characters as the series continues, I can’t remember the last time ruby did something smart enough for anyone to consider her a strategist (I mean I guess shooting nora was smart but  you could accomplish the same thing by giving her electric dust, and the plan falters when you all smile tipping the villian off.)
yeah yeah, misrepresenting RWBY because you’re so insecure you feel a need to manipulate info.
Ruby is socially awkward. This shows numerous times throughout the series from not wanting to go to Beacon due to hwo weird she’d look there to being unable to communicate with Weiss properly due to her missing out on sarcasm and freezing up to her inability to talk things out with Weiss to her awkwardness at the dance to even meeting Winter. Look I listed like five examples.
Ruby is also heroic to a fault, rushing in against opponents without thinking as well as prioritizing others above her self. She attacked the Nevermore without thinking. She went after Cinder by herself without reinforcements. She goes up against the Nevermore in Volume 3 without thinking. She bottles up her emotions like in volumes 4 and 5.
Ruby is also flexible in her beliefs as seen in volumes 4 and 5 where she acknowledges she was wrong about how she viewed the world but still kept her beliefs by adjusting them to how her worldview has changed.
She’s inspiring as shown in how people tend to follow her example, like Jaune did in Jaunedice. Or how Blake’s view of things changed to be more like Ruby’s Or how she literally caused the events of Volumes 4 and 5 by being unwilling to let things go in Volume 3, inspiring JNR to follow her. 
She’s also kind and trusting, like how she never tries to kill her opponents as well as trying to get Raven on her side in Volume 5.
And she’s gotten a will that would match up with a Gainax protagonist with how much shit she takes.
And even here you’re wrong because Ruby used the distraction of Blake’s arrival to send her best fighter to retrieve the Relic before the bad guy’s could!
Again, you sound insecure, like the moment you actually talk about Ruby she’ll outshine even your Mary Sue version of Maka so you jut shake your hand and avoid the topic.
It makes me think miles didn’t actually bother reading/watching soul eater and in terms of character hell in terms all around, fighter, character, positive female role model maka triumphs over ruby no doubt about it.
....
Maka can’t fight worth a shit without Soul and even then her feats, at ebst, are BARELY better than Ruby’s.
This Maka HAS no character aside from Mary Sue.
And this Maka has no flaws so why aspire to be her instead of the flawed but determined and kind Ruby?
Yeah, this is why I don’t want you to talk about Soul Eater and RWBY: You seem so insecure that you try to cover up Soul Eater’s ‘flaws’ but end up making it look worse. God I doubt YOU’VE read Soul Eater. I've shown a deeper knowledge of it and I barely have any first hand experience with it. Most of what I know is from friends and the wiki.
I made this cause  wanted people whom know about soul eater and don’t to know the diservice miles did in writing it off instead of learning from it and using it to improve his story.
... this sentence makes no sense. Even I write better than this.
Best I can say here is: you never provide a link to the Soul Eater thing Miles said. And I don’t find it ANYWHERE. So I’m just gonna assume you lied.
And honestly Soku, You’ve done such a disservice to Soul Eater I think you turned people off it. You made their main character look like a damn Mary Sue and made it look so weak that it needs help beating fucking RWBY. I honestly believe you’re a misguided Soul Eater Stan.
Tune in next whenever when I talk about how one sided a ruby vs maka death battle would be. 
Listen, nobody wants Maka to win more than me. Not because I like Soul Eater mind you but because I want Ben and Chad to get out of this scott free and I know you’ll assault them if they say otherwise.
HOWEVER I looked up Maka and Ruby on Vs. Battle Wiki...
http://vsbattles.wikia.com/wiki/Maka_Albarn
http://vsbattles.wikia.com/wiki/Ruby_Rose
... Yeah, Maka’s best feats are all reliant on the Black Blood Armor against Asura...which only WORKS with Asura or great amounts of Madness so it doesn’t work with Ruby.
So lets’ take the feats that actually work against normal people:
Maka:
Attack Potency: Building Level
Speed: Hypersonic+
Lifting Strength: Class 5
Striking Strength: Building level
Durability: Building Level
Stamina: Large
Ranga: Extended Melee, Several Meters with porjectiles
Intelligence: High
Ruby:
Attack Potency: Large Building
Speed: Hypersonic+ (WITHOUT her Semblance)
Lifting Strength: Class K
Striking Strength: Large Building
Durability: Large Building
Stamina: High
Range: Extended Melee, Several hundred Meters with Crescent Rose
Intelligence: High
... Yeah...
Things are NOT looking good for Maka. Her best powers only work against opponents in HER world while Ruby’s are so general that they can be applied universally.
I might be wrong here: I’m gonna read Soul Eater more after this to learn more but...even my friends who know Soul Eater say things are really close.
Just stop doing this Soku! You’re making SOUL EATER look bad!
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therealdragonnerdagain · 7 years ago
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S7 E7
"Maybe it is all cocks in the end."
At first I found that hilarious. Then I realized it was just more typical men thinking their dicks are the center of all happiness in the universe.
It's funny how Grey Worm found happiness without a penis (then later, Theon finds courage without a penis), while Bron and and Jaime are both miserable wretches with penises in tact.
The saddest part is, there are many men just like them in real life, who think life must be awful without a dick. In fact, that line of thinking is the entire basis of misogyny. Us poor women. So "inferior" because we don't have cocks.
I like that Brienne and the Hound had their little conversation. Somehow, it was nice to see that. It was also interesting to realize how each of them view Arya: The Hound knew her when she was a helpless child; Brienne knows her as a fierce assassin.
Bron has gotten really cocky. I never before realized it, but he deeply resents having to get by on whatever gold purses are dangled in his face by various pampered lords. Now he gets to play the role of "lord" and could give less than a shit about Tyrion. Kinda sad and funny at the same time.
I guess he only cares about Pod now, as he removed him from the negotiations to protect him.
"Am I gonna die in this shit city?" Lol.
I also love that the Hound called Tyrion out with "This is all your idea." About time someone said something. How stupid was this plan? And why in FUCK did they agree to it?
So does Brienne return Jaime's feelings? When she saw him, I swear she got flustered and short of breath.
Then that look Cersi gave Jaime and Brienne.LOL.
Cersi didn't even blink when the dragon landed. Lmao. Stone cold.
Cersi has got a court wizard who brings people back from the dead. Why did she believe them? They could have had a more powerful necromancer pull that off just to scare her.
Euron is such a bastard but an entertaining bastard. Lol. I like when Jaime got defensive of baby brother Tyrion.
Then Euron cheks out, to no one's surprise.
Jon Snow makes me miss Alistair, haha. Alistair was based partly on him, but David Gaider is white, so no one accused him of "stealing." See, white people are "inspired" when they copy things and black people are "theives with no imagination or writing skill of their own."
I also realized for the first time tonight that Anora was obviously based on Cersi. No wonder I love her Cersi(again, as an entertaining character, not a person).
And man, that was hard seeing Jaime be mean to Brienne. "And tell her what?" sneered at Brienne, like he'd never felt anything for her. I think it was hard for him to finally accept that Cersi is terrible. Throughout the episode, we can see him struggling to accept the truth, and his dismissal of Brienne is his attempt to battle that. He would rather go on believing Cersi is good and misunderstood than embrace the fact that she is actually quite awful and Brienne is the better woman.
So they went through all that trouble and lost an entire dragon just so Cersi could refuse to call a truce . . . sigh. Dany said the same thing I was thinking. Her dragon died for Jon and he threw its sacrifice away (because he's in love with Dany).
And what REALLY drives me crazy is that after Tyrion's plan failed, everyone turned and looked to him for guidance  . . . WHY.
Even Varys, the fucking Spider, doesn't have any ideas? Why does everything always rest on Tyrion? Why do D&D have such a boner for him?
I was kind of . . . angry when Tyrion said the only difference between Cersi and Dany was him. It's ironic coming from me, I know (I used to criticize Show-Dany a lot). But seriously? Dany made mistakes when she was a child. Because the books and the show are a bit different, it's easy to forget that Dany made mistakes out of youthful naivety (she was suppposed to be a teenager in the beginning) and not because she was an awful person.
Meanwhile, Cersi is just an awful person.
The level of arrogance it took for Tyrion to give himself all the credit, to act like Dany was just a horrible, impulsive (irrational wimmenz!) Cersi-with-a-leash . . . it's astounding.
I never thought I'd get to a point where I actually stopped liking Tyrion but really . . . Tyrion is starting to sound like a misogynist. He thinks women are wild, impulsive, irrational creatures to be controled by rational, reasonable men . . . entirely ignoring the existence of Jon Snow, who is the living embodiment of emotional impulses. Hell, the entire reason he had to talk to Cersi one-on-one was because of Jon Snow's lovelorn outburst at the negotiations. Jon might as well have shouted, "I love you, Dany!!!"
In short, Tyrion is a misogynist. He's the lowkey kind. Because I don't mean that he actively hates women -- he just doesn't see women as people. He supports Dany simply because he thinks she can be controlled while Cersi can not. To him, Dany is a tool to make the world a better place. He sees her as a person about as much as Jorah, which means not at all.
Interestingly enough, in the very next scene, Dany talks about how a dragon is not a slave. She talks of how her famliy tried to control their dragons and the dragons wound up wasting away. It's basically the same thing Tyrion and all her (male) advisors are trying to do to her, she just doesn't realize it yet.
Sansa calling Arya "Aria." Sigh.
I loved it when Dany basically said "Shut up, Jorah." HaHAha.
Theon, bout time you tried to save your sister, you piece of shit.
While it was great seeing Theon learn from Jon Snow to do the right thing, it was also annoying that -- yet again -- a great female character was regulated to the role of plot device just to motivate him and carry his story arc.
So in essence, Yara was objectified. She became a goal, an object to be rescued, a damsel in distress, moved off the stage so that little Theon could have his story arc.
Sansa and Arya were working together after all. Holy shit. Awesome!!!
Little Finger on his knees begging Sansa to spare him, tears in his eyes. God yes. Hahaha. This made my week. Seriously.
Now we know why Arya handed Sansa that dagger: she was offering her services.
Ayra. So cold. Little Finger: "P-Please, Sansa -- !" SLICE
So that's why Sansa sent Brienne away.
Um . . . where is Robyn?
Cersi is so racist. Calling the Dothroki "monsters." The real monsters never realize they are the monsters. That's actually the basis of racism: zero introspection. I mean, us black people are amoral monsters and lazy criminals. We don't commit crimes because white people oppress us or anything.
I have to hand it to Cersi, though: if Dany and Jon Snow combined can't stop the undead army, what difference will her pitiful armies make?
So Cersi was working with Euron. Shit.
Cersi almost killed both her brothers in one episode.
So Sam was listening to Gilly after all. And Jon's real name is Aegon. Because it's not like Rheagar already had a son named Aegon or anything.
Jon and Dany got it on, and Tyrion didn't approve. (Seriously, Tyrion. Why are you hanging around outside her door in the middle of the night?) The sex scene was also super awkward.
I was shocked by Little Finger's tears. I think Sansa was too. And she knew him longer than Arya, so she had more pity.
"You're still very strange and annoying." Lmao.
Now the Night King has got his own dragon and the undead have arrived.
Some part of me wishes season 7 was the last season.  
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fem-mem-mine · 5 years ago
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Every year, I wake up on March 8 to a flurry of tweets from men wishing me a “Happy International Women’s Day!”
And every year, I find myself thinking: Well, thanks, but is that it? Is that all the support for gender equality that you can muster? For the entire year? It’s a nice sentiment, but at a time when the gender pay gap means that women in the UK work for free for 67 days each year, Black women in the US are three to four times more likely to die in childbirth than white women, and trans women in the US are four times more likely to be murdered than cis women, it doesn’t quite do it for me.
So, to ensure that men aren’t missing direction, a few years ago I started compiling a list of easy actions that men can take to meaningfully support gender equality. Every year, I would post it on social media. Slowly, other women started contributing suggestions. So the list grew. And grew. It will likely never stop growing.
The suggestions cover many realms of life—from home, to work, to the ways we interact with strangers, to the language we use—but it is in no way comprehensive. Below, I’ve included a mere 100 entries out of the several hundred I’ve crowdsourced and personally compiled.
To the men reading: You may already do some of these things, and others you may not be in the position to do. But a good place to start is by, at the very least, reading the list through—in its entirety. And remember: These apply all year, not just during the annual 24 hours dedicated to half of the planet’s population.
1. Before explaining something to a woman, ask yourself if she might already understand. She may know more about it than you do.
2. Related: Never, ever try to explain feminism to a woman.
3. Trans women are women. Repeat that until you perish.
4. RESPECT PEOPLE’S PRONOUNS. It’s not hard.
5. Remember that fat women exist and aren’t all trying to get thin. Treat them with respect.
6. In fact, just never comment on a woman's body.
7. Be kind to women in customer service positions. Tip them extra. (But not in a creepy way.)
8. Trust women. When they teach you something, don't feel the need to go and check for yourself. And especially do not Google it in front of them.
9. Don’t maintain a double standard for… anything, ever.
10. CLOSE YOUR LEGS ON PUBLIC TRANSIT, OH MY GOD.
11. Trying to describe a woman positively? Say she's “talented,” “clever,” or “funny.” Not “gorgeous,” “sweet,” or “cute.”
12. Examine your language when talking about women. Get rid of “irrational,” “dramatic,” “bossy,” and “badgering” immediately.
13. Don't think to yourself, I describe men like that too. A) You probably don't. B) If you do, it's to criticize them for acting like a woman.
14. Do you love “fiery” Latina women? “Strong” Black women? “Mysterious” Asian women? Stop. Pick up a book on decolonial feminism. Read.
15. Stop calling women “feisty.” We don't need a special lady word for “has an opinion."
16. Recognize women's credibility when you introduce them. “Donna is lovely” is much less useful than “Donna knows shitloads about architecture.”
17. Think about how you describe the young women in your family. Celebrate them for being funny and smart, not for being pretty and compliant.
18. Examine the way you talk about women you’re attracted to. Fat women, old women, queer, trans, and powerful women are not your “guilty crush.”
19. Learn to praise a woman without demonizing other women. “You're not like other girls” is not a compliment. I want to be like other girls. Other girls are awesome.
20. Share writing by women. Don't paraphrase their work in your own Facebook post to show us all how smart or woke you are. I guarantee the woman said it better in the first place.
21. Buy sanitary pads and tampons and donate them to a homeless shelter. Just do it.
22. How much of what you are watching/reading/listening to was made by women? Gender balance your bookcase.
23. Feeling proud of your balanced bookcase? Are there women of color there? Trans, queer, and disabled women? Poor women? Always make sure you’re being intersectional.
24. Don't buy media that demeans women’s experiences, valorizes violence against women, or excludes them entirely from a cast. It's not enough to oppose those things. You have to actively make them unmarketable.
25. Pay attention to stories with nuanced female characters. It will be interesting, I promise.
26. If you read stories to a child, swap the genders.
27. Watch women's sport. And just call it “sports.”
28. Withdraw your support from sports clubs, institutions, and companies that protect and employ rapists and abusers.
29. Stop raving about Woody Allen. I don't care if he shits gold. Find a non-accused-abuser to fanboy over.
30. It's General Leia, not princess. The Doctor has a companion, not an assistant. It's Doctor Bartlett, not Mrs Madame First Lady.
31. Cast women in parts written for men. We know how to rule kingdoms, go to war, be, not be, and wait for Godot.
32. Pay for porn.
33. Recognize that sex work is work. Be an advocate for and ally to sex workers without speaking for them.
34. Share political hot takes from women as well as men. They might not be as widely accessible, so look for them.
35. Understand that it was never “about ethics in journalism.”
36. Speak less in meetings today to make space for your women colleagues to share their thoughts. If you're leading the meeting, make sure women are being heard as much as men.
37. If a woman makes a good point, say, “That was a good point.” Don't repeat her point and take credit for it.
38. Promote women. Their leadership styles may be different than yours. That's probably a good thing.
39. Recruit women on the same salary as men. Even if they don't ask for it.
40. Open doors for women with caring responsibilities by offering flexible employment contracts.
41. If you meet a man and a woman at work, do not assume the man is the superior for literally no reason.
42. If you're wrongly assumed to be more experienced than a woman colleague, correct that person and pass the platform to the woman who knows more.
43. Make a round of tea for the office.
44. Wash it up.
45. If you find you're only interviewing men for a role, rewrite the job listing so that it’s more welcoming to women.
46. Make sure you have women on your interview panel.
47. Tell female colleagues what your salary is.
48. Make sure there's childcare at your events.
49. Don't schedule breakfast meetings during the school run.
50. If you manage a team, make sure that your employees know that you recognize period pain and cystitis as legitimate reasons for a sick day.
51. If you have a strict boss (or mom or teacher) who is a woman, she is not a “bitch.” Grow up.
52. Expect a woman to do the stuff that's in her job description. Not the other miscellaneous shit you don't know how to do yourself.
53. Refuse to speak on an all-male panel.
54. In a Q&A session, only put your hand up if you have A QUESTION. Others didn’t attend to listen to you.
55. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against trans or non-binary people, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for cis women, too.)
56. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against women of other races, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for white women, too.)
57. If you see women with their hands up, put yours down. This can be taken as a metaphor for a lot of things. Think about it.
58. Raising a feminist daughter means she's going to disagree with you. And probably be right. Feel proud, not threatened.
59. Teach your sons to listen to girls, give them space, believe them, and elevate them.
60. Dads, buy your daughter tampons, make her hot water bottles, wash her bras. Show her that her body isn't something to be ashamed of.
61. But dads, do not try to iron her bras. This is a mistake you will only make once.
62. Examine how domestic labor is divided in your home. Who does the cleaning, the childcare, the organizing, the meal budgeting? Sons, this goes for you, too.
63. Learn how to do domestic tasks to a high standard. “I'd only do it wrong” is a bullshit excuse.
64. Never again comment on how long it takes a woman to get ready. WE ARE TRYING TO MEET THE RIDICULOUS STANDARDS OF A SYSTEM YOU BENEFIT FROM.
65. Challenge the patriarchs in your religious group when they enable the oppression of women.
66. Challenge the patriarchs in your secular movement when they enable the oppression of women.
67. Trust women's religious choices. Don't pretend to liberate them just so you can criticise their beliefs.
68. Examine who books your trips, arranges outings, organizes Christmas, buys birthday cards. Is it a woman? IS IT?
69. And if it is actually you, a man, don't even dare get in touch with me looking for your medal.
70. Take stock of the emotional labor you expect from women. Do you turn to the women around you for emotional support and give nothing in return?
71. Remember that loving your mom/sister/girlfriend is not the same as giving up your own privilege to progress equality for women. And that gender inequality extends beyond the women in your direct social group.
72. Don’t assume that all women are attracted to men.
73. Don’t assume that a woman in public wants to talk to you just because she’s in public.
74. If a woman tells you she was raped, assaulted, or abused, don't ask her for proof. Ask how you can support her.
75. If you see a friend or colleague being inappropriate to a woman, call him out. You will survive the awkwardness, I promise.
76. Repeat after me: Always. Hold. Men. Accountable. For. Their. Actions.
77. Do not walk too close to a woman late at night. That shit can be scary.
78. If you see a woman being followed or otherwise bothered by a stranger, stick around to make sure she’s safe.
79. This should go without saying: Do not yell unsolicited “compliments” at women on the street. Or anywhere.
80. If you are a queer man, recognize that your sexuality doesn’t exclude you from potential misogyny.
81. If you are a queer man, recognize that your queer women or non-binary friends may not feel comfortable in a male-dominated space, even if it’s dominated by queer men.
82. Be happy to have women friends without needing them to want to sleep with you. The “friend zone” is not a thing. We do not owe you sex.
83. Remember that you can lack consent in situations not involving sex—such as when pursuing uninterested women or forcing a hug on a colleague.
84. Champion sex positive women but don't expect them to have sex with you.
85. Trust a woman to know her own body. If she says she won't enjoy part of your sexual repertoire, do not try to convince her otherwise.
86. Be sensitive to nonverbal cues from women, especially around sex. We’re not just being awkward for no reason. (You read “Cat Person,” didn’t you?)
87. It is not cute to try to persuade a woman to have sex with you. EVER. AT ALL. Go home.
88. Same goes for pressuring women to have sex without a condom. Go. Home. And masturbate.
89. Accidentally impregnated a women who doesn't want a kid? Abortions cost money. Pay for half of it.
90. Accidentally came inside a woman without protection? Plan B is expensive. Pay for all of it.
91. Get STD tested. Regularly. Without having to be asked.
92. Examine your opinion on abortion. Then put it in a box. Because, honestly, it's completely irrelevant.
93. Understand that disabled women are whole, sexual human beings. Listen to and respect them.
94. Understand that not all women have periods or vaginas.
95. Believe women's pain. Periods hurt. Endometriosis is real. Polycystic ovaries, vaginal pain, cystitis. These things are real. Hysteria isn’t.
96. If a woman accidentally bleeds on you, try your absolute best to just keep your shit together.
97. Lobby your elected officials to implement high quality sex education in schools.
98. Uplift young Black and Indigenous girls at every possible opportunity. No excuses.
99. Do not ever assume you know what it’s like.
100. Mainly, just listen to women. Listen to us and believe us. It’s the only place to start if you actually want all women to have a “Happy International Women’s Day.”
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ivehungtheskywithstars · 7 years ago
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To the men reading: You may already do some of these things, and others you may not be in the position to do. But a good place to start is by, at the very least, reading the list through—in its entirety. And remember: These apply all year, not just during the annual 24 hours dedicated to half of the planet’s population. 1. Before explaining something to a woman, ask yourself if she might already understand. She may know more about it than you do. 2. Related: Never, ever try to explain feminism to a woman. 3. Trans women are women. Repeat that until you perish. 4. RESPECT PEOPLE’S PRONOUNS. It’s not hard. 5. Remember that fat women exist and aren’t all trying to get thin. Treat them with respect. 6. In fact, just never comment on a woman's body. 7. Be kind to women in customer service positions. Tip them extra. (But not in a creepy way.) 8. Trust women. When they teach you something, don't feel the need to go and check for yourself. And especially do not Google it in front of them. 9. Don’t maintain a double standard for… anything, ever. 10. CLOSE YOUR LEGS ON PUBLIC TRANSIT, OH MY GOD. 11. Trying to describe a woman positively? Say she's “talented,” “clever,” or “funny.” Not “gorgeous,” “sweet,” or “cute.” 12. Examine your language when talking about women. Get rid of “irrational,” “dramatic,” “bossy,” and “badgering” immediately. 13. Don't think to yourself, I describe men like that too. A) You probably don't. B) If you do, it's to criticize them for acting like a woman. 14. Do you love “fiery” Latina women? “Strong” Black women? “Mysterious” Asian women? Stop. Pick up a book on decolonial feminism. Read. 15. Stop calling women “feisty.” We don't need a special lady word for “has an opinion." 16. Recognize women's credibility when you introduce them. “Donna is lovely” is much less useful than “Donna knows shitloads about architecture.” 17. Think about how you describe the young women in your family. Celebrate them for being funny and smart, not for being pretty and compliant. 18. Examine the way you talk about women you’re attracted to. Fat women, old women, queer, trans, and powerful women are not your “guilty crush.” 19. Learn to praise a woman without demonizing other women. “You're not like other girls” is not a compliment. I want to be like other girls. Other girls are awesome. 20. Share writing by women. Don't paraphrase their work in your own Facebook post to show us all how smart or woke you are. I guarantee the woman said it better in the first place. 21. Buy sanitary pads and tampons and donate them to a homeless shelter. Just do it. 22. How much of what you are watching/reading/listening to was made by women? Gender balance your bookcase. 23. Feeling proud of your balanced bookcase? Are there women of color there? Trans, queer, and disabled women? Poor women? Always make sure you’re being intersectional. 24. Don't buy media that demeans women’s experiences, valorizes violence against women, or excludes them entirely from a cast. It's not enough to oppose those things. You have to actively make them unmarketable. 25. Pay attention to stories with nuanced female characters. It will be interesting, I promise. 26. If you read stories to a child, swap the genders. 27. Watch women's sport. And just call it “sports.” 28. Withdraw your support from sports clubs, institutions, and companies that protect and employ rapists and abusers. 29. Stop raving about Woody Allen. I don't care if he shits gold. Find a non-accused-abuser to fanboy over. 30. It's General Leia, not princess. The Doctor has a companion, not an assistant. It's Doctor Bartlett, not Mrs Madame First Lady. 31. Cast women in parts written for men. We know how to rule kingdoms, go to war, be, not be, and wait for Godot. 32. Pay for porn. 33. Recognize that sex work is work. Be an advocate for and ally to sex workers without speaking for them. 34. Share political hot takes from women as well as men. They might not be as widely accessible, so look for them. 35. Understand that it was never “about ethics in journalism.” 36. Speak less in meetings today to make space for your women colleagues to share their thoughts. If you're leading the meeting, make sure women are being heard as much as men. 37. If a woman makes a good point, say, “That was a good point.” Don't repeat her point and take credit for it. 38. Promote women. Their leadership styles may be different than yours. That's probably a good thing. 39. Recruit women on the same salary as men. Even if they don't ask for it. 40. Open doors for women with caring responsibilities by offering flexible employment contracts. 41. If you meet a man and a woman at work, do not assume the man is the superior for literally no reason. 42. If you're wrongly assumed to be more experienced than a woman colleague, correct that person and pass the platform to the woman who knows more. 43. Make a round of tea for the office. 44. Wash it up. 45. If you find you're only interviewing men for a role, rewrite the job listing so that it’s more welcoming to women. 46. Make sure you have women on your interview panel. 47. Tell female colleagues what your salary is. 48. Make sure there's childcare at your events. 49. Don't schedule breakfast meetings during the school run. 50. If you manage a team, make sure that your employees know that you recognize period pain and cystitis as legitimate reasons for a sick day. 51. If you have a strict boss (or mom or teacher) who is a woman, she is not a “bitch.” Grow up. 52. Expect a woman to do the stuff that's in her job description. Not the other miscellaneous shit you don't know how to do yourself. 53. Refuse to speak on an all-male panel. 54. In a Q&A session, only put your hand up if you have A QUESTION. Others didn’t attend to listen to you. 55. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against trans or non-binary people, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for cis women, too.) 56. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against women of other races, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for white women, too.) 57. If you see women with their hands up, put yours down. This can be taken as a metaphor for a lot of things. Think about it. 58. Raising a feminist daughter means she's going to disagree with you. And probably be right. Feel proud, not threatened. 59. Teach your sons to listen to girls, give them space, believe them, and elevate them. 60. Dads, buy your daughter tampons, make her hot water bottles, wash her bras. Show her that her body isn't something to be ashamed of. 61. But dads, do not try to iron her bras. This is a mistake you will only make once. 62. Examine how domestic labor is divided in your home. Who does the cleaning, the childcare, the organizing, the meal budgeting? Sons, this goes for you, too. 63. Learn how to do domestic tasks to a high standard. “I'd only do it wrong” is a bullshit excuse. 64. Never again comment on how long it takes a woman to get ready. WE ARE TRYING TO MEET THE RIDICULOUS STANDARDS OF A SYSTEM YOU BENEFIT FROM. 65. Challenge the patriarchs in your religious group when they enable the oppression of women. 66. Challenge the patriarchs in your secular movement when they enable the oppression of women. 67. Trust women's religious choices. Don't pretend to liberate them just so you can criticise their beliefs. 68. Examine who books your trips, arranges outings, organizes Christmas, buys birthday cards. Is it a woman? IS IT? 69. And if it is actually you, a man, don't even dare get in touch with me looking for your medal. 70. Take stock of the emotional labor you expect from women. Do you turn to the women around you for emotional support and give nothing in return? 71. Remember that loving your mom/sister/girlfriend is not the same as giving up your own privilege to progress equality for women. And that gender inequality extends beyond the women in your direct social group. 72. Don’t assume that all women are attracted to men. 73. Don’t assume that a woman in public wants to talk to you just because she’s in public. 74. If a woman tells you she was raped, assaulted, or abused, don't ask her for proof. Ask how you can support her. 75. If you see a friend or colleague being inappropriate to a woman, call him out. You will survive the awkwardness, I promise. 76. Repeat after me: Always. Hold. Men. Accountable. For. Their. Actions. 77. Do not walk too close to a woman late at night. That shit can be scary. 78. If you see a woman being followed or otherwise bothered by a stranger, stick around to make sure she’s safe. 79. This should go without saying: Do not yell unsolicited “compliments” at women on the street. Or anywhere. 80. If you are a queer man, recognize that your sexuality doesn’t exclude you from potential misogyny. 81. If you are a queer man, recognize that your queer women or non-binary friends may not feel comfortable in a male-dominated space, even if it’s dominated by queer men. 82. Be happy to have women friends without needing them to want to sleep with you. The “friend zone” is not a thing. We do not owe you sex. 83. Remember that you can lack consent in situations not involving sex—such as when pursuing uninterested women or forcing a hug on a colleague. 84. Champion sex positive women but don't expect them to have sex with you. 85. Trust a woman to know her own body. If she says she won't enjoy part of your sexual repertoire, do not try to convince her otherwise. 86. Be sensitive to nonverbal cues from women, especially around sex. We’re not just being awkward for no reason. (You read “Cat Person,” didn’t you?) 87. It is not cute to try to persuade a woman to have sex with you. EVER. AT ALL. Go home. 88. Same goes for pressuring women to have sex without a condom. Go. Home. And masturbate. 89. Accidentally impregnated a women who doesn't want a kid? Abortions cost money. Pay for half of it. 90. Accidentally came inside a woman without protection? Plan B is expensive. Pay for all of it. 91. Get STD tested. Regularly. Without having to be asked. 92. Examine your opinion on abortion. Then put it in a box. Because, honestly, it's completely irrelevant. 93. Understand that disabled women are whole, sexual human beings. Listen to and respect them. 94. Understand that not all women have periods or vaginas. 95. Believe women's pain. Periods hurt. Endometriosis is real. Polycystic ovaries, vaginal pain, cystitis. These things are real. Hysteria isn’t. 96. If a woman accidentally bleeds on you, try your absolute best to just keep your shit together. 97. Lobby your elected officials to implement high quality sex education in schools. 98. Uplift young Black and Indigenous girls at every possible opportunity. No excuses. 99. Do not ever assume you know what it’s like. 100. Mainly, just listen to women. Listen to us and believe us. It’s the only place to start if you actually want all women to have a “Happy International Women’s Day.”
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