Fallout 4 really coulda made the 'Living by the sea' vibes so terrifying. Of course, people know of mirleurks and stuff. But what about the things they don't know about. The fear of the unknown.
We know that sea life was also affected by radiation. We've seen the size of a mirelurk queen. We know that sharks exist from the corpses.
So. How do we know megalodons aren't back in the Falloutverse. Or krakens don't exist. Sea life enlarged and at an unimaginable scale, unknown to the survivors of humanity as they lurk beneath the waters.
What if Sole had been told not to cross the ocean to Far Habour. What if there's a reason that, after 200 years, no one has brought back voyager boats and sailing the oceans to reconnect the world. What if they know better. Or maybe they realise they don't know anything at all.
What if Sole set up a nice base at Spectacle Island, and is confused when Hancock refuses to see it. Sole jokes that he's paranoid, but he reminds them he grew up on the waterfront. He helped his dad fish when he was younger. Boats don't scare him. The water doesn't scare him.
"It's what's in it," He explained coldly. He sat down in the sand, shotgun in his arms. Sole asked him to elaborate, he said he couldn't. "You wanna go after the Institute, fine. I'll help. That's an unknown I can handle. But, I ain't getting in that boat, and neither should you."
"I'll...Ask someone else."
"Can it be Danse?"
Sole thought he was being dramatic but quickly realised that none of the companions were keen to travel across the water.
There was that time Sole once jumped off the Prydwen and into the deep sea, so far from shore, only to hear a guttural noise around them. They couldn't see anything. The water dark blue, and filthy, almost black from when the world was scorched. But whatever it was, it was large enough that its voice vibrated through their entire being. They convinved themself it was a whale. They know whales don't sound like that.
On the days Sole is at the castle, they like to look out at the ocean. Or did, until today when they saw a large boat in the distance become capsized. They almost sent their own boats out to help, but Preston placed a firm hand on their shoulder. His eyes told Sole everything he wouldn't. Preston's not the type to let people die. So, Sole turned the radio up so none of the other soldiers could hear the distant screams for help and distress calls. And to drown out their own guilt, watching as the last fisherman attempted to swim desperately to shore, only to be dragged down below the waves. Sole didn’t look away until the boat finally sank. When they did, their eyes landed on the East Wall, which was under reconstruction from when the mirelurk queen had emerged. Sole wonders if that was even the largest sea creature out there.
When Sole's getting ready for bed, Preston knocks at their door gently. "Even I can admit when something is a lost cause," There was a guilt dripped into his tone. A silent apology to the fallen men. "I'll tell our guys to stay out of the water for a few days. We can rely on the nets for fish."
"We should set up a limit for how far out our boats can go."
"We will. Tomorrow. For now, get some rest." He's halfway to closing the door when Sole speaks again.
"I jumped off of the Prydwen once..."
"Excuse me?"
"I was fine. I wanted to go into the water. I did."
"Excuse me?"
"I couldn't see anything. But I heard something. I felt the sound go through me. I think it was a whale."
"Think or hope?" Sole doesn't say anything. Preston gets his answer regardless. "Was it close to you or do you think it was fine?"
"Think or hope," Sole mirrors. "I don't know. It was large."
"That seems to be a theme with the ocean."
"...Is that why no one has tried to cross the ocean again in 200 years? I thought...I thought there'd be pirates again out there. Or something. That massive wooden ships had made a comeback somewhere."
"I can't say. For all we know, maybe people have tried." Sole doesn't want to think about the connotations of that.
"No one wanted to go to Spectacle Island."
"I'm sure it looks nice but...To be honest, neither would I. I'm Sorry."
"It's fine. I get it now...I don't think I do anymore, for a while...John wouldn't get in the boat."
"Hancock...Is a smart man. Sometimes."
"Sometimes? You're saying that to the person that jumped off of the Prydwen."
"True, you do make Hancock look like Einstein."
"Thank God people still know Einstein," Sole mumbles. "John's smarter than he let's on."
"He once showed up to my door, drunk, asking if I thought Nick had a penis. Then, if he did, if it could be classed as a vibrator. I refused to answer or ask the context for why he wanted to know."
"...On that note, goodnight Preston."
"Goodnight, Sole."
Sole stares at the ceiling as they try to sleep that night. The sound of the waves crashing against the walls keeps them awake.
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Thinking of Eddie, who is terrified of the ocean, bt despite his fear, he still accompanies Billy to the beach, just never goes in. Over time, they get a little further, closer to the water, until he's standing right at the shore, water lapping at his ankles.
One day, when they're both chilling in their towels; Billy tanning, Eddie lathered in sunscreen and reading a book. And then Eddie just gets up, starts walking towards the water. Billy doesn't get a chance to ask him what he's doing and wants to go after him, but something is telling him to stay put.
Eddie walks up to the shore and then keeps walking until the water is up to his hips. He stands there, hands on the surface.
Billy takes the Polaroid camera that Eddie keeps in his bag at all times and takes a picture. To any outsider it's just another photo of the beach, but considering the fact that the first time they came out here Eddie didn't want to go in, and Billy, thinking he was just being stubborn picked him up and took him in anyway. Billy had never seen Eddie cry that hard and hasn't since.
But here Eddie is now, just standing there.
After a few minutes, Eddie comes running back. The second his ass meets the towel again, Billy asks if he's okay.
Eddie wordlessly takes Billy's hand in his and holds it to his chest, his heart pounding rapidly, but he's smiling so brightly.
"Why?"
Eddie shrugs and picks his book back up, as if it means nothing, as if he's done it many times before. "For you."
For him...
Later, Billy folds up the Polaroid and stuffs it in his wallet. He never leaves the house without it, looks at when he gets angry, starts to doubt, starts thinking that Eddie may just be better off without him. Eddie did that, faced might just be he greatest fear, not for himself but for him, for Billy.
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Is it strange that I'm fascinated with things related to my phobia?
I love the concepts involving thalassephobia, such as deep sea exploration (for example, the game Subnautica). It's just so cool to me, but I'm terrified by the idea of being in deep water.
I think if I were to be abandoned in the ocean, even with the best swim gear known to our planet, I'd have a panic attack and somehow die from drowning with the gear working fine.
Which is severely unfortunate because I just adore stuff involving thalassephobia. I even have a character and full on leviathan species that live in the deep sea with little to no light.
I think if I didn't have thalassephobia, I'd want to become a deep sea biologist. But alas, my fear would make me cry myself shitless and beg to go back to the surface.
Point being, I love the deep sea. I love games and characters and animals relating to the deep sea. However, I have thalassephobia so I can't see it and I'm sad. Why am I like this :,)
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what shape does your pain take?
the sea
You're drowning. A sea of emotions, responsibilities, people, things, everything. You just can't handle it all, you need to escape, but you can't. Even talking to someone and being told it's okay, compliments, nice things people say, it all adds up to drown you further. Guilt, for feeling this way when everyone's being nice and you're not enough.
Will you sink or swim?
Due to the number of questions in the comments about what to do about your answer, I've added some strategies that might be helpful on each answer!
Number one thing... Is you need a way to vent. You start to drown when you internalize everything and it eventually becomes too much to bear. Paint an image that represents your feelings, dance your heart out, write down everything that's bothering you and on your mind and then burn/rip up the paper, talk to someone, have a good cry in the shower and just acknowledge everything you're feeling. Get it out somehow, and you'll feel better. And find a way to consistently get it out, don't let it build up to your breaking point before you do anything about it. For me that's dance classes, I go almost on a daily basis and put all my feelings into whatever choreography or practice I do and let each movement let out any anger, sadness, jealousy, fear, or other pent up emotions.
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