#funny sentence starters

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐧𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝: 𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  inspired from the pun book from the last of us, here are some dialogue prompts of various puns. feel free to edit and change as you seem fit. )

❛ for a fungi to grow you must give it as mushroom as possible. ❜

❛ it doesn't matter how much you push the envelope. it'll still be stationary. ❜

❛ what did the mermaid wear to her math class? an algae bra. ❜

❛ people are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow. ❜

❛ why did the scarecrow get an award? he was outstanding in his field. ❜

❛ what did the triangle say to the circle? you're so pointless. ❜

❛ a book just fell on my head, i only have my shelf to blame. ❜

❛ i tried to catch some fog earlier. i mist. ❜

❛ i stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. then it dawned on me. ❜

❛ diarrhea is hereditary... it runs in your genes. ❜

❛ what did the green grape say to the purple grape? breathe, you idiot! ❜

❛ i'm reading a book on anti-gravity, and it's impossible to put down. ❜

❛ what is a pirate's favorite letter? tis' the c. ❜

❛ i wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then i changed my mind. ❜

❛ what washes up on tiny beaches? microwaves. ❜

❛ why are frogs so happy? they eat whatever bugs them. ❜

❛ i don't trust trees. they're shady. ❜

❛ i was going to tell you a pizza joke, but it's too cheesy. ❜

❛ i want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body. ❜

❛ there’s a new type of broom out. it’s sweeping the nation. ❜

❛ did you hear about the man who lost his left side? he’s all right now. ❜

❛ what do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? a maybe. ❜

❛ i tried to make a belt out of watches. it was a waist of time. ❜

❛ i got fired from the calendar factory, just for taking a day off. ❜

❛ did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? he was lucky it was a soft drink. ❜

❛ tequila may not fix your life but its worth a shot. ❜

❛ why are there fences around cemeteries? because people are dying to get in! ❜

❛ thanks for explaining the word 'many' to me, it means alot. ❜

❛ i once ate a watch. it was time consuming. ❜

❛ why are teddy bears never hungry? they are always stuffed! ❜

❛ i don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something. ❜

❛ never trust an atom, they make up everything! ❜

❛ i couldn't figure out how to put my seatbelt on, but then it clicked. ❜

❛ how do construction workers party? they raise the roof. ❜

❛ what do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus. ❜

❛ when a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. ❜

❛ i made a pun about the wind but it blows. ❜

❛ it's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. ❜

❛ what did the ocean say to the beach? nothing, it just waved. ❜

❛ i have a joke about chemistry, but i don't think it will get a reaction. ❜

❛ i'm on a seafood diet. i see food and i eat it. ❜

❛ why did the restaurant on the moon get bad reviews? it has no atmosphere.❜

❛ how do you organize a space party? you planet. ❜

❛ i once heard a joke about amnesia... but i forget how it goes. ❜

❛ the frustrated cannibal threw up his hands. ❜

❛ it takes guts to be an organ donor. ❜

❛ why is the mushroom always invited to parties? he's a fungi. ❜

❛ a guy walks into a bar... he was disqualified from the limbo contest. ❜

❛ jokes with punch lines can be painfully funny. ❜

❛ so what if i don’t know what apocalypse means? it’s not the end of the world! ❜

[mimis-memes]

🍎  ｡:*• ─ PUNNY PICK-UP LINES SENTENCE STARTERS. ›   ( in the spirit of Valentine’s day, here’s a compilation of various funny & punny pick-up lines !  Feel free to adjust them to better fit your muses and/or add more context. )

🚪  ❝ I a-door you ! ❞ 🍵  ❝ You’re a cute tea ! ❞ 🧁  ❝ You bake me crazy ! ❞ 🫁  ❝ We belung together ! ❞ 🐚  ❝ You’re very spe-shell ! ❞ 🧈  ❝ You’re my butter half ! ❞ 🔥  ❝ We’re a perfect match ! ❞ 🍲  ❝ You make miso happy ! ❞ 🥕  ❝ I carrot live without you ! ❞ 🐻  ❝ I love you bear-y much ! ❞ 🍌  ❝ I find you very a-peeling ! ❞ 🐳  ❝ I whale always love you ! ❞ 🍞  ❝ You’re the loaf of my life ! ❞ 🦦  ❝ There’s no otter like you ! ❞ 🦐  ❝ You’re shrimply the best ! ❞ 🍉  ❝ You’re my one in a melon ! ❞ 🍕  ❝ You have a pizza my heart ! ❞ 🐰  ❝ Nobunny compares to you ! ❞ 🪵  ❝ Wood you be my valentine ? ❞ 🍋  ❝ This is my best pick-up lime... ❞ 🍅  ❝ I love you from my head to-ma-toes ! ❞ 🌮  ❝ Can we taco ‘bout how cute you are ? ❞ 🍄  ❝ You take up so mushroom in my heart ! ❞ 🍍  ❝ If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple. ❞ 🗼  ❝ Are you a tower? Because Eiffel for you ! ❞ 🌽  ❝ I know it’s corny, but you’re a-maize-ing ! ❞ 🍩  ❝ I donut know what I would do without you ! ❞ ☕️  ❝ Words cannot expresso how much you mean to me ! ❞ 🧀  ❝ This might sound cheesy, but I think you’re really grate ! ❞

[darkerrpmemes]

Bee & Puppycat Sentence Starters:

"That's disgusting. You should reconsider illegally squatting."

"Want me to break one so that we can fix it?"

"Eh, how hard can it be?"

"An adult should not keep objects on the floor."

"Let's look for it without drawing too much attention."

"I promise I'll help you get it back. After I take a nap. Then have a long bath. And then another nap."

"I used to be bad. It's embarrassing that I can't be good now that I'm not bad."

"Babies are terrible company."

"I'll be back to get my stuff - and probably some of your stuff!"

"You're cranky because you love me."

"I'm gonna go run errands."

"If you ever tell me what to do on my day off again, I will kill you."

"I'm not letting you have ____ if you're gonna keep stealing."

" I'm trusting you, because... I don't know why. But I am watching you. So technically I don't trust you that much."

"____ turns you into a thieving little nightmare."

"When I run out of money, your money is my money, right?"

"You'll believe what I tell you."

"I don't eat things that explode any more."

"Why are we hiding in the trash?"

"That animal is after my hand in marriage."

"...I'm gonna hide in the recycling instead of the trash."

"Get outta here, you're gonna blow my cover."

"I'm not a baby, I'm a big-ass man."

"You're depressed? Well, you can still be depressed in pants."

"Go grab all your underwear - even the dirty ones - and put them in a bag. I'm gonna help you escape."

"Guess there's a lot of stuff we don't know about each other."

"You're a sweaty, sweaty traitor."

"I'm not mad at you... yet."

[bookished]

( a collection of enemies to allies dialogue prompts. adjust phrasing as necessary.) feel free to make edits to better suit your muse, but please don’t edit or add on to the original post 🤍 if you like, please consider supporting me through tips, it's highly appreciated.

"I still don't like you, but we need to work together. Just… try not to get in my way."

"If you think this means we're friends now, you're delusional."

"I’m only helping you because I need you alive—don’t make me regret it."

"We may hate each other, but we hate them more. So, truce?"

"This doesn't mean I trust you. It just means we have the same enemy."

"You're the last person I want to rely on, but right now, you're all I've got."

"I never thought I’d be fighting alongside you. Feels weird, doesn’t it?"

"We make a surprisingly good team… let’s not talk about it."

"I still want to punch you in the face, but we have bigger problems right now."

"You think this changes anything between us? Think again. But thanks… I guess."

"Look, I don’t want to owe you anything. So let's call this even."

"Just because we’re working together doesn't mean I’ve forgotten what you did."

"I swear, once this is over, it’s back to hating each other. Deal?"

"I never thought I’d say this, but… I could use your help."

"It’s not like I had a choice—you were the only one who could pull this off."

"Don't get any ideas. This is temporary, and after we're done, it's back to being enemies."

"I don’t like you, you don’t like me. Let’s just get through this without killing each other."

"I’m only here because I need something from you. Don’t mistake this for kindness."

"Funny how the universe keeps throwing us together, huh? Almost like a sick joke."

"You’re the last person I want to see right now, but it seems I don’t have much of a choice."

"I’m starting to hate how well we work together. It’s unsettling."

"If anyone asks, this never happened. I wasn’t here, and we didn’t help each other."

"I didn’t think we’d ever be on the same side, but here we are… how does that feel?"

"I still think you're insufferable, but I suppose I could tolerate you… for now."

"This changes nothing between us. We're just two people with the same goal—for now."

"As much as I hate to admit it, I wouldn’t have survived without you back there."

"You think saving my life means I owe you? We’re still enemies, make no mistake."

"I don't want to be here any more than you do, so let’s make this quick."

"It doesn’t sit right with me, trusting you. But what choice do I have?"

"If we manage to pull this off together, you might just earn a sliver of my respect."

[rpdepartment]

"Meet the Team" sentence starters!

30 starters ; TW for suggestive and violent content

i mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to?

grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother? I hurt people.

if you were from where I was from, you'd be fucking dead!

if fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!

i fear no man, but that… thing… it scares me.

no I… I ain't talking about that freak.

not one of you's gonna survive this.

i'm a grim bloody fable, with an unhappy bloody end!

oh, they're going to have to glue you back together… in hell!

this is my weapon.

who touched my gun?!

cry some more!

i solve problems.

i solve problems. not problems like "what is beauty?"… i solve practical problems!

use a gun. and if that doesn't work, use more gun.

boom. headshot.

as long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead.

i'm not a "crazed gunman", i'm an assassin!

i'll be honest with you: my parents do not care for it.

be polite. be efficient. have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

anyway, that's how i lost my medical license.

what was that noise?

kill me.

should i be awake for this?

oh, don't be such a baby… ribs grow back!

are you sure this will work?!

aw, man! you would not believe how much this hurts!

if you managed to kill them, i assure you, they were not like me.

what are you? president of his fan club?

listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today.

[moth-basement]

𝗹𝗶𝗹' 𝘀𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 🧽

An ask meme with a bunch of lines from my favorite Spongebob episodes. This isn't meant to be too serious, I just really love spongebob and haven't seen an ask meme for it.

"I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo."

"Wumbology! the study of wumbo!"

"AND THEN THERE'S A GIANT FIST!!"

"Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets."

"He was number one!"

"Well, it may be stupid, but it's also dumb."

"I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charms. Indoors! Indoors! Indoors!"

"Oh boy! Holographic meatloaf! My favorite!"

"And what's better than serving up smiles!?"

"Being dead, or anything else."

"See, no one says 'cool' anymore. That's such an old-person thing. Now we say 'coral', as in 'That nose job is so coral.'"

"Long, tan, *licks teeth* Handsome"

"Are they laughing at us? No, they are laughing next to us."

"Excuse me sir I hope my horrible ugliness doesn't distract you from the movie."

"I'm ugly and I'm proud!"

"Oh these aren't homemade. They were made in a factory.... a bomb factory."

"the boy made you a sweater of his own tears, and you kill him."

"goodbye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy!"

"I order the food, you cook the food, the customer eats the food. We do that for forty years, and then we die."

"you're good, you're good, you're good, aaaaand stop."

"Don't worry captain we'll buff those scratches out."

"All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original."

"We're not cavemen! We have technology" *smashes the computer*

"Hey pal, you just blow in from stupid town?"

"You used me....for LAND DEVELOPMENT! That wasnt very nice!"

“This isn’t your average every day darkness. This is....ADVANCED darkness”

“Assertive, not insertive, ya twit!”

*sticks finger in pocket* "beep beep"

"He's just standing there..... MENACINGLY!"

"don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?"

"What is today but yesterday's tomorrow?"

“I will dismantle this oppressive establishment BOARD BY BOARD!”

"Well maybe we would sound better if some people didn't play with BIG MEATY CLAWS"

"Oh good luck out there. I hope the audience brings lots of ibuprofen."

"You won't catch me when I shift into maximum overdrive!!"

"It's not just a boulder! It's a rock!"

"shut your mouth you mediocre clarinet player."

 “You don’t pay me. We don’t even exist! We’re just a clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought.”

"I only know fine dining and breathing."

"oh you mean like a weenie? MaY I TaKe YoUr hAt Sir?"

"the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time."

"Can I be excused for the rest of my life?"

"You mean you've never heard the story of the... hash-slinging slasher?"

"The sash wringing... the trash thinging... mash flinging... the flash springing, bringing the the crash thinging the..."

"And then the walls will ooze green slime!? Oh wait they always do that."

"You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend well, that would just be okay."

“C’mon you lazy Mary, start rubbing me with that chocolate!”

"East? I thought you said weast?"

“We’ve been smeckledorfed!”

"Whatever doesn't kill you, usually succeeds in the second attempt."

[ogdoadfates]

Fanfic Prompts: Best friends

Just best friends being absolutely awesome, hilarious, and loyal to each other

Whispering a joke to them causing them to laugh loudly at a boring event or inappropriate time.

Helping the other pop their back

Letting the other ramble for hours about their favorite thing

Purposely causing chaos to get two other friends to stop fighting with the power of confusion.

Doing purposely bad impressions of a person who was mean to the other in order to cheer them up.

Telling a family member off for being mean to their best friend.

Reading the other a story after a rough day.

Taking the other to prom when they got lied too.

“If we’re to be lonely, we’ll be lonely together.”

Two best friends sending chaotic and absurd little videos and pictures of themselves/each other to the group chat.

“You know what? You’re it. You’re it. You’re my other half.” (platonic)

“I know you ask for bagels but they were out of bagels, so enjoy your freakin donut!”

Best friends at the bar with the rest of the group, too which the two start a impromptu drinking contest between the two of them. 

Making cosplay together

“If I’m robbing a store, you’re robbing it with me!”

Accidently making something explode together.

“If you’re a bad person, then so am I”

Telling off another friend for being rude to them.

Playfully slapping the other on the face

Being each others wingman

Getting mistaken as siblings and not noticing till someone else brings it up.

Saving the other from a house fire.

Egging a enemies house together.

“So you know that thing you told me not to do?”

Almost vomiting/being disgusted when ask if they are dating each other.

Getting kicked out of walmart.

Making the arcade regret their decisions

“No YOU can not call them a dipshit” “I earned that right”

Making a pizza box robot

“Why am I friends with you?”

Text/chat au @ 3am “So I need some help” “OMG WHAT DID YOU DO?”

“Why are you still awake”

“I need you to call me crying saying your boyfriend cheated on you, I don’t care that your gay just do it.”

Driving through and getting way too much fast food.

[spookiesmausoleum]

❛ 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨 ❜ 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

Here's some quotes from "American Psycho" with a few content warnings just due to the subject matter of the movie even if I did try to avoid certain quotes: Drugs , Murder , Psychosis , Cursing , Violence

"Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people."

"I'm into, uh, well, murders and executions, mostly."

"Well, most guys I know who are in Mergers and Acquisitions really don't like it."

"There is an idea of a [name]; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there."

"My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others."

"I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself."

"Not if you want to keep your spleen."

"My need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale cannot be corrected but, uh, I have no other way to fulfill my needs."

"I don't think we should see each other any more."

"But your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. I really don't think it would work."

"I know that your friends are my friends and, uh... I've thought about that. You can have 'em."

"Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply Whitney Houston had 4 number one singles on it?"

"You actually listen to Whitney Houston? You own a Whitney Houston CD? More than one?"

"You have a really nice place here, [name]. How much did you pay for it?"

"Well, actually, that's none of your business, [name]. But I can assure you, it certainly wasn't cheap."

"Let's see [name]'s card."

"Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark."

"Is something wrong, [name]? You're sweating."

"It's a fucking milligram of sweetener. I want to get high off this, not sprinkle it on my fucking oatmeal."

"Will you keep it down? I'm trying to do drugs!"

"[Name] has mistaken me for this dickhead [other name]."

"It's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves."

"When I get to [name]'s place, I use the keys I took from his pocket. There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that [name]'s apartment overlooks the park and is obviously more expensive than mine."

"I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust."

"Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why."

"My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy."

"I think my mask of sanity is about to slip."

"Then maybe we shouldn't go out to dinner. I wouldn't want you to lose your willpower."

"That's okay. I'm not very good at controlling it anyway."

"No—I’m in touch with humanity. [name], I’m sorry, I just uh—you’re not terribly important to me."

"What’s that?"

"Duct tape. I need it for—taping something."

"Pumpkin, you’re dating the biggest dickweed in New York. Pumpkin, you’re dating a tumbling, tumbling dickweed."

"I think if you stay, something bad will happen. I think I might hurt you. You don’t want to get hurt, do you?"

"I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood."

"If you don’t shut your fucking mouth, I will kill you."

"Now, [name], listen. Listen very, very carefully—I killed [name], and I liked it."

"Make someone happy. Have you ever wanted to?"

"I guess you could say I just want to have a meaningful relationship with someone special."

"I know my behavior can be—erratic sometimes."

"You hate that job anyway. I don’t see why you just don’t quit."

"Because I want to fit in."

"I’m leaving. I’ve assessed the situation, and I’m going."

"Hey, I’m a child of divorce, gimme a break!"

"Oh, that? Just mulling over business problems, examining opportunities, exchanging rumors, spreading gossip."

"Your father practically owns the company. You can do anything you like, silly."

"God—I guess I was probably returning videotapes."

"I need to return some videotapes."

[hcneygemini]

are you ready for freddy?, pt. i

a list of prompts based on things i've said while playing the five nights at freddy's series. please do not add to this list or repost as your own. feel free to change pronouns / tense / etc as necessary. tw: mentions of & implied violence/death, vulgar & suggestive language.

nothing's even happened yet!

actually, you know what? this isn't that bad.

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck—

leave me alone, you bunny bastard.

[ name ], please don't fuck me.

please don't leave me alone with them!

i'm okay, i'm totally fine, i'm okay—

oh, go fuck yourself.

i'm channeling my inner markiplier.

hi, [ name ]. could you maybe fuck off?

i'm going to die!

oh, i'm so dead.

please don't scare me.

i should get paid more for this.

[ name ], why are you doing this!?

i'm about to get my ass eaten.

oh shit, they're already gone.

dancing to the music box isn't going to help me.

i won! god, it's better than an orgasm!

why do people do this to themselves?

i need a 24 hour break from this.

if i get jumpscared one time, the fear will go away.

if i get jumpscared one time, i'll never touch this game again.

don't you have better things to do?

people who claim this isn't scary are liars and thieves.

oh, good, my fear of darkness can come into play now.

what the fuck, i've never seen that before!

i sing when i'm scared.

[ name ], you're my favorite but, like, fuck off.

at least i haven't seen any hallucinations yet.

i'm going to have nightmares about [ name ] standing at the end of my hall.

sorry i mocked your little speech, [ name ].

i know you're dead, but i could use some reassurance.

why is nothing happening?

i fucked up!

how am i alive?

michael afton, eat your heart out.

[lucifersresources]

stupid shit said in discord servers part three meme.

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!  

how dare you be a cop.

i had a dream you worked for nasa but like... nasa were also cops, and you tried to arrest me for publishing pictures of the earth on twitter.

i have never been to jail.

i'm a nun, i've never been in horny jail in my life.

respectfully, you are gay 24/7

babe i'm horny, not sad.

[unintelligible mort screaming]

why am i even attracted to him?

your animagus form would be king julian.

shit i'm not a bot

i still have the immune system of a rat.

ethically, i can go to the library, right?

i can cry and rest at the same time, it's called multitasking.

i don't know where this comes from I'M A HAPPY PERSON.

i'm blowing you a kiss, if you don't catch it and put it in your pocket, i'm gonna end it all.

they're both switches, so there's multiple holes to choose from.

do you ever say something and wonder how exactly you got to this point in life?

mousekeep, mouselight, mouseboss.

ur funny and that's on me.

you made me do this, any injury is on you.

i can buy friends.

i can't bully you today, i have you pencilled in for tomorrow.

he's gay and mean.

ah yes, i'm a moron.

i am made a horrid joke... wait, you're british, you won't be scandalised.

i love lamps.

jfk is a werewolf for real this time.

i'm not putting him in the closet, he worked so hard to come out of that!

i'd like to thank the academy, my dad, and my trauma for the humour it gave me.

all he needs is a bong and he's happy.

god i wasn't even flirting i don't even like you like that man, no homo!

you're gonna die a bottom, how embarrassing.

now WHY is my banana nut muffin so goddamn bald.

i'm bisexual which means i'm attracted to men and i don't like men.

i'm bisexual which means i'm attracted to you as a result of your work and the fact i have no experience in this field.

i'm bisexual which means i'm attracted to me.

in the most affectionate way possible, i am not convinced you are of this earth.

[mimis-memes]

🍎  ｡:*• ─ CHRISTMAS PICK-UP LINES SENTENCE STARTERS.      ›    ( a compilation of various christmas/holiday-themed pick-up lines taken from various sources, for muses who are feeling flirty this holiday season !  feel free to adjust them to better fit your muses.   note: numbers 21 to 40 can be nsfɯ, so please read at your own risk ! )

nice & funny : 1.    ❝ There’s snow one like you ! ❞ 2.    ❝ When we met, it was love at frost sight ! ❞ 3.    ❝ I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you. ❞ 4.    ❝ Hi, Santa said you wished for me. Good choice ! ❞ 5.    ❝ Are you Christmas ?  Because I want to merry you. ❞ 6.    ❝ There's snow place like your arms this Christmas ! ❞ 7.    ❝ Do you live in an igloo ?  Because you're pretty cool ! ❞ 8.    ❝ I didn’t think I was a snowman, but you just made me melt. ❞ 9.    ❝ If I was the Grinch, I wouldn’t steal Christmas. I’d steal you. ❞ 10.  ❝ I’ll be home for Christmas — and I want you to come with me. ❞ 11.  ❝ You make me more excited than gifts under a Christmas tree ! ❞ 12.  ❝ I don’t need Christmas lights, you’re already shining so bright ! ❞ 13.  ❝ The Grinch may have stolen Christmas, but you stole my heart. ❞ 14.  ❝ Let’s drink some hot tea in the snow. After all, ‘Teas the Season ! ❞ 15.  ❝ I don’t have a Christmas list, because you’re already the best gift. ❞ 16.  ❝ It’s the season of giving, so you should give me your phone number. ❞ 17.  ❝ Aren’t you supposed to be on top of that tree ?  Because you’re a star ! ❞ 18.  ❝ Let me take you on a first date in the snow. I promise I’m not going to flake ! ❞ 19.  ❝ Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas ? ❞ 20.  ❝ If you were a tree, you’d be an evergreen, because I bet you look this good all year round. ❞ naughty & sexy : 21.  ❝ Let’s make this a not-so-silent night. ❞ 22.  ❝ Let me help you out of that ugly sweater... ❞ 23.  ❝ I want to fill you up with my... holiday spirit. ❞ 24.  ❝ How about I shimmy down your chimney tonight ? ❞ 25.  ❝ The only package I want this Christmas is yours. ❞ 26.  ❝ We don’t need a sleigh, you can ride me instead. ❞ 27.  ❝ Santa’s lap isn’t the only place wishes come true. ❞ 28.  ❝ Let’s both be naughty and save Santa the trip tonight. ❞ 29.  ❝ Is your name Winter ?  Because you’ll be coming soon. ❞ 30.  ❝ Let’s pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree. ❞ 31.  ❝ Your stocking isn’t the only thing I’ll be filling up tonight. ❞ 32.  ❝ Are you ornaments ?  Because I want you all over my tree. ❞ 33.  ❝ You're the first gift I want to unwrap on Christmas morning. ❞ 34.  ❝ Call me your Christmas tree, because you’re turning me on. ❞ 35.  ❝ Is that a candy cane in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me ? ❞ 36.  ❝ I was going to warm my hands by the fireplace, but you’re much hotter ! ❞ 37.  ❝ Do you like the song “Jingle Bells” ?  Because we could go all the way... ❞ 38.  ❝ Are you looking for a tree topper ?  Because I’ve been told I’m a star on top. ❞ 39.  ❝ I just got some mistletoe. How about we go back to my place and try it out ? ❞ 40.  ❝ I’m not Santa, but do you want to sit on my lap and tell me what you want this Christmas ? ❞

Sources: [ 1 ]  [ 2 ]  [ 3 ]

[darkerrpmemes]

Bojack Horseman Sentence Starters:

"I need you in my corner now because I don't have anybody else."

"I shouldn't even be alive right now."

"Sometimes I feel like my whole life is just a series of loosely related wacky misadventures."

"It's you. You are all the things that are wrong with you. Fuck, man. What else is there to say?"

"No one knows how to get under your skin like family, right?"

"You come by it honestly, the ugliness inside you."

"You must think I'm a real monster."

"When's the last time you slept? You look like shit."

"When's the last time you were actually happy?"

"When you look at someone though rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags."

"I don't recall accidentally ingesting poison, and yet here you are trying to make me vomit."

"If you're going to survive, you'll need to harden up."

"Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day - that's the hard part. But it does get easier."

"I compulsively take care of other people when I don't know how to take care of myself!"

"I keep making these bad decisions and hurting people."

"Everyone always treats me like a kid."

"I never hated you. Did you hate me?"

"I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I had just slowly spilled out of me, and now it’s all gone, and I’ll never get it back in me.  It’s too late."

"I need you to tell me that I’m good."

"Do you think it’s too late for me?"

"That voice...  the one that tells you that you’re worthless and stupid and ugly...  it goes away, right?"

"Now I spend a lot of time with the real me and believe me, nobody is gonna love that guy."

"You not understanding that you’re a horrible person doesn’t make you less of a horrible person."

"You’re a real stupid piece of shit, and everywhere you go you destroy people."

"You abandoned me. And I will never forgive you for that."

"I'm dying - I'm not gonna feel better! And you don't get to use me as a prop to make yourself feel better."

"You have to live with the shitty thing you did for the rest of your life, and know that it is never, ever going to be okay."

"I know I’m a piece of shit.  That at least makes me better than all the other pieces of shit that don’t know they’re pieces of shit, doesn’t it?  Or does it make it worse?"

"I’m responsible for my own happiness? I can’t even be responsible for my own breakfast."

"Your boob is... a very impractical way to put out a fire."

"I'm no longer cute so I have nothing to offer this world."

"Is it cool if instead of confronting my problems head on, I just hide out here for a little bit?"

"I'm a pit that good things fall into."

"It doesn't get easier. It never gets easier."

"I don't know how you can expect anyone else to love you when you so clearly hate yourself."

"They could fill a library with all the things you don't know - in fact they do, they call them libraries."

"Sometimes life's a bitch and then you keep living."

"No. You can't keep doing shitty things, and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better!"

"It's never too late to be the person you want to be."

"Maybe I just need to stop expecting you to be a good person so that way I won't get hurt when you're not."

"You've gotta get your shit together."

"You're the biggest asshole I know - and you're the only thing that makes sense to me."

"When I'm with you, I don't hate myself."

"If you can't find a way to let off some steam, you're going to explode."

"It takes a long time to truly realize just how miserable you are, and even longer to see that it doesn't have to be that way."

"If you ever try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you."

[bookished]

( a collection of jock x nerd dialogue prompts. adjust phrasing as necessary.) feel free to make edits to better suit your muse, but please don’t edit or add on to the original post <3 if you like, please consider supporting me through tips

"You think you're so smart, huh?" "Well, statistically speaking, my GPA says I am."

"Okay, so you're good at math. But can you explain why my heart races whenever you walk into the room?" "Biologically, I suppose adrenaline might— Wait, are you flirting?"

"This is ridiculous. You shouldn’t be lifting me like that!" "Hey, you’re light as a feather! Besides, I just wanted to show you what strength feels like."

"You know, you’d make a great quarterback with how fast you solve problems." "And you’d make a great nerd if you applied that logic to your studies."

"Let me guess, you failed another test?" "Nah, just looking for an excuse to talk to the smartest person in the room."

"You might be a brainiac, but I could definitely teach you a thing or two about confidence." "Confidence? Or arrogance?"

"I don’t understand why you keep sitting next to me in class. You don't even take notes!" "Maybe I’m here for the view… or maybe I trust your brain to get us both through."

"For someone who’s supposed to be so smart, you’re missing something really obvious." "And what’s that?" leans closer "How bad I want to kiss you right now."

"You’re like a puzzle I can’t solve." "That’s because you’re not thinking hard enough." "Maybe I’m just distracted by how cute the puzzle is."

"You’re too focused. Ever thought about focusing on something… or someone… else?" "And who would that be?" smirks "Maybe you should figure that out."

"Bet I can make you blush before you can solve that equation." "Highly unlikely—" blushes "Told you."

"You're not my type." "And yet, here I am, making you smile like I am."

"You look like you could use a break. How about we grab some coffee? My treat." "You sure you’re not just trying to steal my notes?" "Nah, just trying to steal your attention for a little while."

"If you keep looking this cute when you're annoyed, I might just have to irritate you more often." "You’re infuriating." "But I’m charming, too, right?"

"Do you ever take anything seriously?" "I’m serious about getting you to go out with me. That counts, right?"

"You’ve got those smarts, but I’ve got… other talents." "Like what, being a distraction?" "If that's what it takes to get your attention."

"Why are you always bothering me during study time?" "Because watching you concentrate is kinda… hot."

"You know, you’ve got a lot of facts in that head of yours. Think any of them could explain why I keep thinking about you?" "That’s probably an overproduction of dopamine and— wait, are you hitting on me?"

"You're in my space." "Maybe your space is where I want to be."

"I think I just figured out the formula for attraction." "Attraction isn't a formula." "It is when you're involved."

"You know, if I ever wanted to impress you, I’d have to learn some big words, huh?" "It’s not the words you use that impress me… it’s what you do with them."

[rpdepartment]

Bigtop Burger season 2 sentence starter

25 starters

« i hope nobody dies. »

« you look great buddy! »

« you're one tricky bitch. »

« i brought you a little… gift. »

« COOL, I DON'T EAT FOOD!! »

« why do they hate us so much? »

« YEAH!! ENJOY!! BON APETTIT! »

« am i losing my goddamn minds? »

« we got a man down, a good man!! »

« i'm sure my reputation preceeds me. »

« GET. UP. You're EMBARRASSING ME!! »

« i'm gonna miss you guys so much. not. »

« i have decided to make peace with you. »

« i didn't know that! i didn't know that part! »

« no, it's… weird. definitely weird. and potentially illegal! »

« i don't mean to spy on him, i just thought it was weird. »

« don't listen to a WORD they say, they're all theatre majors! »

« i will crash this butch mechanism into an embankment wall!! »

« can't we- can't we just get along? this seems… a bit much, right? »

« i could swear you said something about it being "THE DAY I DIE". »

« we need two spots- we need THREE SPOTS, this is a BIG automobile. »

« the boss says we got to act EVIL and WICKED when we're on the clock. »

« i don't make the calls for who's a MENACE, but you've been on our radar for a looong time! »

« i've grown old and infirmed. i'm… ancient now. i'm different. i'm older. i'm peaceful. i'm an old hag. »

« if you guys don't look as weird as me then i'm going to stick out like a horshoe crab in a freshwater environment. »

[writebackatya]

Could you do Donald and Della, “Do you think we’re friends in every universe?”

Oooh! This is too good! Perfect duo, great line, let’s do this!!!

On the Edge of the Duckverse!

To say that it was late at the Money Bin would be an understatement. It had been hours since the members of Team Science had decided to take a break from the progress they have made on their own dimensional portal and had retired for the evening. All though the building was not without its occupants, for three members of Clan McDuck were still there; and only two of those members were ready to leave.

A sigh left Donald’s beak letting out the exhaustion he felt while also prepping him for the conversation ahead.

“Della, let’s go! I wanna head to bed!”

“Then go! I’m busy!”

The lab doors behind Donald closed as he went over to his sister. The underwater lab was practically pitch black with all the lights turned off as well as all the lab windows being closed on account of all the fish making their way around the lab.

The only light in the lab came from the portal's monitor. The device was still a work-in-progress, all though it could not be used to bring things in and out of the portal in a stable manner, it did allow the user to view the other multiverses. So Della was doing just that; her eyes glued to the screen as her hands went back and forth between the keyboard and a nearby notepad.

"How did you even get this thing up and running?" Donald inquired as he approached his sister.

"Please," Della scoffed, "it's one of Gyro's devices, the genius has been using the same password since 2003."

"You're joking, it's still GeniusInnovator140?!"

"All one word, the G & the I are capitalized."

Donald snickered before glancing over at Della's notepad. From a quick glance Donald could see various coordinates for different universes, some of which were crossed out. Besides that, the duck also noticed his sister had taken some notes down which didn't surprise him, however one word popped out as he scanned the paper.

"...Hey, why is my name written down by-"

Della quickly went to grab the notepad only for Donald to grab it first.

"It's nothing!" Della answered as she tried to pull her notepad back.

"Then let go!" Donald demanded as he tried to pull the notepad out of his sister's hands.

"No! This is mine, so hands off!"

"Never! What did you see!?"

"Nothing! Don't worry about it!"

"I'll tell Gyro you're messing with his team's machines!"

"I'll tell that scrawny know-it-all to his face myself!"

"I'll tell Uncle Scrooge!"

"Fine!" Della yelled as she let go of the notepad causing Donald to fall flat on his back. Della then grabbed the notepad from Donald and began typing in coordinates.

"You are NOT going to believe this..." Della muttered as she then hit the enter key.

Donald got up from the ground and shook his head before looking over at the monitor.

On the screen was a masked duck sporting a red and blue cape, black and red tights, yellow shoes, black mask and a blue sailor hat.

Donald's beak dropped. "Is that me?!"

"Well duh, it's not like that costume does a good job hiding your identity." Della scoffed.

"I don't believe this!" Donald almost laughed in astonishment.

"Yeah, it's hard to believe that someone who banned Super Snooper comics in his boat because he thought they were 'too violent' would be a superhero." Della joked.

"...The boys told you about that?"

"Yeah. Did you also ban rock-n-roll because it's the devil's music?"

"Ha-ha," Donald rolled his eyes, "do you have any idea what's going on?"

"Barely." Della shrugged. "Everyone in this universe only speaks Italian."

"Ho usato google traduttore per fare questa frase!" The Donald Duck on the monitor exclaimed.

"Oh..." Donald Duck responded sounding a little disappointed.

"...That's not the only universe where I found you, Donnie." Della smirked as she looked into her notepad and went ahead typed in the next coordinates.

Donald glued his eyes to the monitor as it displayed the next multiverse to the two ducks.

In this world Donald was sporting a snazzy purple jacket and blue button up shirt and was at the front door of some sort of club greeting a variety of different guests who looked excited to enter.

"I own a club!?"

"Co-own," Della corrected, "with your old pal, Mickey."

"Really?!" Donald asked facing his sister.

"Yeah, the boys are performers there, Goofy's the head waiter and the rest of your pals work there too." Della explained. "You're honestly with them in a lot of these universes..."

"No fooling!?" Donald asked as he looked back at the monitor. "Can you show me them?!"

"I thought it was time for bed."

"That can wait! I wanna see all the universe you found where I'm something really cool!" Donald said as he pulled up a chair and sat by his sister. "Besides, it might be awhile til Uncle Scrooge comes looking for us."

Della rolled her eyes and chuckled to herself as she typed in the next coordinates.

One after another, Donald witnessed the many lives he lived in other universes. Donald saw himself wear many hats such as one of a musketeer with his old pals fighting the Beagle Boys as well as another universe where he wore a helmet and was fighting mythical creatures with José and Panchito as well as some feminine mostly hairless mammal. But most of these universe, Donald saw himself sporting his blue sailor hat and matching suit, but he still found himself off on some sort of adventure with either his friends or his Uncle and Nephews. Some were a bit more different than others.

"Come on!"

"This is it!"

"Take that!"

Donald and Della stared blankly at the monitor as they watched this universe's Donald and Goofy fighting alongside some spikey haired mostly hairless mammal against some shadowy creatures.

"...Okay," Donald spoke up, "I honestly don't know what the hell is going on here."

"I think you guys are fighting the darkness or something?" Della answered. "I don't know, that kid with the key-looking sword might explain things after this fight."

"Well regardless, me being a sorcerer is really cool"

"Yeah, I figured you'd say that."

"Ha..." Donald's laugh trailed off as a thought occurred to him, "Della, why were you hiding all this from me?"

"Whaaaaat, I wasn't hiding anything from you."

"You didn't want to show me these things at first."

"Uhh...it was because you were tired and I just knew that you'd want to stay a-"

"Oh come on!" Donald scoffed as his sister tried to form her excuse. "I know what this is about, you're jealous!"

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah! You were looking for other universes were you were something awesome like a superhero or paranormal investigator or sorcerer! You were jealous that in all these universes I was getting all these amazing roles while you were-...you were..."

Silence had overtaken the lab as the monitor kept displaying the other universe.

"This looks like a great place for ingre-"

Donald muted the monitor. "...Were you able to find yourself at all?"

"...No." Della looked away from her brother. "Every universe had you with practically everyone. My boys, Uncle Scrooge, Gyro, your many pals. And me? Well I just wasn't there..."

"Della, I'm-"

"But why!?" Della sighed as she looked up at the muted monitor. "Am I just a very shitty sister dumping my boys onto you so I can just fuck off somewhere else or am I just dead?!"

"Della."

"You know what I hope it's the latter, because my family doesn't deserve to ha-"

"DELLA!" Donald shouted as he turned off the screen monitor. The duck then clapped his hands together turning on the lab's lights, where he was greeted to the sight of his sister looking right at him.

"...Look, I don't know." Donald began, "I don't know why you're not there with me by side in any of those universes. We're only looking at a snapshot of these other versions of our lives. You might not be there now, but I'm sure you had a good reason."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because you're my sister, you dummy! And there was a time in my life here in this universe when you weren't with me by my side." Donald smiled at Della. "But you are now, and you're still my sister and quite possibly the best friend I've ever had."

"..." Della smiled back at her Donald as she turned the monitor back on and observed the screen. "...Do you think we're friends in every universe?"

"I don't see why not." Donald answered as he looked over at the monitor.

"...Well, I think I'm ready for bed." Della stated as she turned off the machine and headed to the exit with her brother. "Okay fun question time: If you could swap universes with any of the Donalds you've seen tonight, which one would it be?"

"Hmm..." Donald thought as the two stepped into the elevator, "none."

"None!? Why not?"

"I like my life here," Donald shrugged, "at least I know the people I love are okay and not too far away from me."

"Aww...You see if I were you, I would've answered that universe where you, Jose and Panchito were fighting alongside that Amazon chick. I would totally hook up with her."

The elevator door closed and then ascended the two up to their uncle and pretty soon, the bin had no occupants.

[happypeachsludgeflower]

im dying guys

pls just imagine that in a sentence for a sec rofl

He gazed lovingly into her big organic wheatgrass globes and caressed her plump peach cheeks with a stick-like digit.