#funny man... i love putting him in situations

[hotchnersangel]

YOUR LOVE IS MY OXYGEN

Aaron Hotchner

You and Aaron had been in a relationship for a few months and it was getting to the point where conversations of your relationship were becoming serious and really authentic and genuine. After a case, Aaron is sat in your living room, watching the tv, some silly reality tv show he claimed to despise- yet, he always kept watching them with you, even opting to put them on without prompts from you. Simply because he knew you loved watching them.

It was a routine, you watch, he finds something to complain about and you give him a kiss and suddenly he can stand it again.

Today was no different, Aaron was on the sofa when you went to sit besides him, now in comfier clothes. You sit on the edge of the sofa, Aaron side eying you to catch your attention but you don't look at him. He sighs, again another move to try and encourage your attention. Though, you refuse to give into his antics and you watch the show kick off into drama.

Another sigh escapes Aaron's lips, slightly louder now but you ignore him again, which he evidently did not like as you feel the couch dip and hands slide under your thighs and your back as he pulls you softly across the sofa and into his lap.

"Is that what you wanted?" You smirk at him amused as he gives you a faux cold glare. "Seriously? All that fuss for me to sit on your lap?"

"Yes, maybe if you had just done it there would not be so much 'fuss'." He muttered into your hair, pressing a kiss to your crown.

You move back, looking over his face directly and smiling at him. You love every detail about this man. The way his hair eventually loses its gel throughout the day and returns to become fluffier and more enticing to you hands to run through it. The way his eyes crinkle when he smiles and his eyes always dart to catch yours when he makes a joke or sees something funny, making sure you saw or heard it too. The way his eyes softened when he stared at you, whether it was during more intimate times or just in general, he made sure you were always taken care of before even himself. Every small detail about him, his heart, his body, his personality.

You even loved how he fake hated reality tv to encourage you to kiss him, he could just ask but it became an unspoken tradition by now.

You continue watching the show until one of the stars cause a fuss and create drama and Aaron sighs. "Seriously, I don't understand how you can enjoy this."

You stay silent knowing he will keep talking.

"This is crazy, it's the same thing over and over. Jenny kisses Alex and Maura gets upset. It's the same situation as Olivia and Jaques getting together when she was still with Liam."

You smirk at him, noticing that he does pay attention to the goings-on.

"For gods sake, look at George and Lana's body language, clearly they don't even like each other- I bet they just want the money. You know what, we could go on this and just try win the money because I'm sure as hell we would win considering we are in an actual relationship and these absolute degenerates are all faking their relationships so they get lots of money." He huffs after he lets out a rant, you staring at him as he can't depart his eye line from the tv.

"I'm actually angry just watching this." He scowls at the tv before turning to see you smiling delicately, you eyes roaming his face. Immediately upon seeing your smile, he grins at you. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing just my boyfriend." You shrug, continuing to look at him.

"I like it when you call me that." He replies, pressing a kiss to your cheek. Both your heads turn as you continue to watch the show once again and you look at Aaron once more, just wanting to stare at him for the rest of your life.

"I love you." You blurt before you could even process what you said. You widen your eyes as you see him do a double take with a wide smile on his face.

"Sorry what?" He asks amused and you bite your lip, laughing in shock.

"I didn't mean to say that." You admit but shake your head, "Not that I don't mean it, I just-" You ramble but his hand lifts to your cheek.

"Say it again."

"I love you." You repeat.

"Again."

"I love you." You say again, giggling this time.

"Again."

"I'm in love with you." You grin softly, looking at him nervously as you see a twinge of pink caress his cheeks.

"I hate that you've just ruined my plans." He says with a grin but you look confused so he carries on. "I scheduled you to receive some flowers this weekend, I planned a whole thing out to tell you that."

You blush and look to your hands then back into his eyes. "Really?"

"Yeah, but somehow I think it's very endearing that you couldn't hold it in." He grins kissing just below your eye now, then moving to your cheek, then forehead.

"Loving you is like breathing to me honey, I don't even have to think about it to know it keeps me alive."

[creatingblackcharacters]

Hi hi I'm a new anon in your vicinity and I just need to rant about this like blatant racism

I'm in highschool, I was 16 at the time, and I was in the theater program. I was a part of the props crew and out area was very secluded and had no cameras so obviously it was the place to vape and everyone did it including me and a lot of my friends. One day the smell got really strong and at the next meeting the head of props was confronted by the director about it and they panicked and gave him a list that included me. Obviously I freak out after they told me like anyone would do but ultimately the director never ended up telling anyone's parents.

Fast forward to the interviews for the next theater production and the director asks me about the vaping thing. I think "Oh okay you did still care cool glad that's all this came to." and I tell my friends about it because he gave me a funny look.

Turns out I was the only person he ever asked about the vaping situation. Wanna know what the rest of my friends have in common that I don't? They're all white. I was the only Black person to get caught up in that situation and I was the only person to be directly confronted about it after he had received the list of vapers. The only one.

Everyone likes to pretend this director is so great but this is not the first or the last time he's shown he clearly holds a negative bias against Black people. Another more prominent example being his refusal to take the necessary steps to have Black actors get proper hair and makeup. The hair crew is white and they don't have experience with textured hair and expected the actors to just deal with it. He refused to let makeup use proper shades of makeup to match a Black complexion he's acting like they're white and they end up looking stupid because they have makeup 50 shades lighter than the rest of their body because he won't acknowledge that the same makeup doesn't work on everyone. It's not like we lack the money or people because we absolutely have every resource we need to do that it's just him not wanting it.

"16 at the time" lol you said that like you were so young, baby you can't be that much older 🤣

And that's incredibly unfortunate to hear, and unfortunately not an uncommon experience when you get into the acting or modeling world as a career, either. I hate that he's putting y'all through that so young, but these teachers be hella racist out here.

Does every Black theatre kid have a racist story 😅 I had a white classmate that LOVED saying the n-word. Like, would say it as an expletive or just for fun, like how you'd say "fuck". No one ever did anything, the other Black theatre kids just kind of rolled their eyes. I personally didn't swing on him bc I was trying to go to college and not jail, but MAN I look back and I shoulda.

So. I don't wanna say start a riot bc the school to prison pipeline is every thirsty for Black children but... Might be time to talk to your parents about the guy. Especially when he's got y'all out there 40 shades lighter and poorly lit for no reason. That is something that can be easily addressed if enough of you speak up about it. Because how can he "let" y'all do anything, if y'all brought the right foundation and said "put it on my face". But you shouldn't have to do that.

[qoldenskies]

The idea of the boys still being the same under the curse but just misconstruing everything is so painful. You mentioned before that part of Leo was horrified at hitting him, how Raph cried when killing him. I’m just like, imagining how angry they always got whenever he cried or went nonverbal. Leo often describe the feeling of the curse as feeling like a kind of “getting even” situation. Imagining the agony of seeing his baby twin cry and beg, feeling that horrible twist in his gut, and thinking “This is what I’m getting even for. How dare you make me feel this way.” Leo knowing those feelings are caused by Donnie and the way that he’s acting, but that’s where his perception ends. Donnie is doing this to him. And under the curse, he forgot the only reason he felt so pained with every little sob is that he loved him. And eventually all Donnie does is cry, and all Leo wants to do is make him pay for that.

ive been thinking of this moment a lot already heehee

:') the fact that this is the first time leo hit him and this is the first thing he thinks. the way that he quickly recontextualizes the HORROR he felt hitting him as anger because this didn't magically get rid of his empathy. i dont think leo is a super high empathy person but he cares so much about donnie that the sight of him in pain or distress still feels like a skewer through his heart. its not unlike the moment where raph stops himself from hurting him after breaking shelldon tbh

it makes "its like i cant even recognize you anymore" even more of a gut punch because its kind of meant to communicate that like,,, there is a moment where leo's actual care for him shines through and he thinks that he wouldn't have actually hurt the donnie he thought he lost. up to this point he's been rationalizing things by telling himself that donnie's always being shitty and he just put up with him, but this is a moment where the "truth" he's been avoiding really surfaces. but donnie is different now, he's a complete shell of himself, so it creates a feedback loop where leo can continue to convince himself that he's still deserving of retribution.

calling it a "victim complex",, treating it like he's guilt tripping to get himself out of trouble. saying he's spinning stories, using his fearful shouting to act like he's hysterical. its all just the ways they rationalize it to themselves because they still do hurt to see him upset. its funny that their logic requires him to be both uncontrollable and intentional, but such is the nature of irrational hatred.

i also think about leo's shitty aborted "apology" through text after he screams at him, acknowledging that it's a boundary he's crossed and saying he's not feeling like himself ,,,, leo was so casual about it and donnie was too upset to notice but. he knew for a moment there. man :')

[spamtonsometimes]

a specil little bonus... he's such a cartoon character of a man.

[saragrosie]

Some season 3 profiles practice I drew while listening. I still haven't looked at much fanart because I do not want to be spoiled so these are just what they look like in my head going from their voices. My buddy said he thinks Melanie has a bob haircut and I agree tbh she would fuck up a Bob.

I really hate coloring things in but I wasn't as unhappy with Jon as the rest of them so I left him. I love green so it's probably just that lol

Finished season 3 tho. :(

[stoopidstapler]

AIGHT. its the last day of the year so its 2 0 2 4 AR T SUMMARY TIME FELLAS <- hasnt posted any of these. but like. why not post the summary anyways. with that said. MAY THIS NE W YEAR BE GOOD TO YA ALL

[riacte]

so hey guys i finished dungeon meshi yesterday and i'm still thinking about it

[lloydfrontera]

i think it fucks immensely that bk moon went out of his way to 1) establish rakiel wished to live a long life and eventually pass away of old age, 2) have him very briefly envy an immortal being only to be told very clearly to be careful what he wishes for by that very same person because living forever isn't all it's cracked up to be, 3) make the main antagonist be another immortal being who is so desperate to die he's willing to destroy the universe just to finally rest and 4) have said antagonist psychologically torture rakiel with the threat of making him live for a thousand years as everyone he loves and knows eventually grows old and dies and becomes nothing but forgotten memories.

only to then end the novel by making rakiel also immortal

like. god. it's so fucking good i love it. i'm not being sarcastic i genuinely think it fucks and it's one of the best ways bk moon could've wrapped up the plot.

it's a happy ending by all means but it has consequences and through the entire novel we've been shown and told over and over again just how heavy the consequences are and/or will be on rakiel.

he got his happy ending but it was at a price and by the last time we see him he's only just starting to pay for it.

it's great i love it

[skrunksthatwunk]

just finished s2 of kaiji and it was good i really liked it but i hope i never see that fuckass pachinko machine again!!!

[silverselfshippingchaos]

my boyfriend always finds his way into the wildest shit, doesn't he?

[afamiliarsword]

I love how Togashi writes humanity, even in his villain characters. Like ooooo Yesss the villains are hypocrites because even they love and care about eachotherrrrrrr

[bumblingbabooshka]

The Doctor turning into women and having romantic dalliances with men is every kind of queer...to me.

[todayisafridaynight]

It's been wonderful being able to talk about these things for me too! I haven't really had the opportunity since Y7 came out, so I'm positively buzzing. And no worries about the tone of your post about Daigo's article haha, I appreciate it when issues are pointed that I might've missed otherwise since that's at least something actionable.

But I'm obviously not going to stop anyone from venting frustrations with the wiki or with Fandom as a platform; I frequently find myself frustrated too! It's one of the things that keeps people editing the wiki. I'm honestly fine with whatever as long as it's not accusing us of being fujoshi for the billionth time lol, but for better or worse I do like to clarify what we're trying to do if there's any confusion.

Speaking of, Mine's relationship tags are kind of a funny story! So a lot of them have these dotted underlines and question marks, right? You're supposed to be able to hover over underlined terms to see a short definition (on desktop) and click the question mark to see an article with all the definitions on mobile, since hover actions aren't possible on a touchscreen.

But since the article was and still is under construction, Fandom doesn't show the link to logged-out users. So I had no idea it just looks like we're saying the tag is ambiguous lol. It's up now though, so it's hopefully easier to understand what we're trying to do!

I just found it funny I specifically added that feature to reduce confusion. Half the grief we get over Mine's "romantic interest" tag is because people assume we're saying it's mutual (we chose the term to try and avoid the "mutual" connotations of "love interest," but I guess that didn't work out). I also thought it might help with somewhat esoteric tags like "co-parent" (which was put in place for Jo and Arakawa and then I kept thinking of others) and "surrogate son." Turns out it's tough to boil complex relationships down to one term!

I definitely have SO many questions about New Year's Day and I probably always will; for the space of only one night, it's a huge blank. I certainly do have to wonder if shipping Masato off to America was decided then and there. There's a lot that could possibly be expanded on in RGGO (further interactions between Arakawa and Jo included lol), so I've got hope for that too now that we're back to random events. I'd be really interested to see how you'd portray it someday!

Talking about Nakai and Tsutsumi reminded me, Nakai mentioned he read the whole script in a day so he "wouldn't do a disservice to Arakawa or Sawashiro's characters." That kind of stuck out to me precisely because there are so few scenes between them compared to like, Arakawa and Ichi, and they're all relatively low-impact in comparison.

Of course, it could be marketing on account of him and Tsutsumi getting to co-star again, or the scenes could simply have stood out to him more for that reason, or he could've had a different impression of the ratios having read the script rather than played the game. But the part of me that makes me want to go Off The Deep End speculating is kind of wondering if there were other scenes planned?

And absolutely! I'm not able to reblog often because the post editor's been crashing whenever I try to tag my posts, but I hope you know I love your work and I'll support pretty much anything you put out! I'm very excited to share my findings as well.

A lot of it's to do with Mine's relationship to Western culture vs. Japanese culture (his "westabooism," basically), so that's specific to him, but there a lot of interesting concepts and theories in Japanese psychology regarding familial bonds, met and unmet emotional needs. They work as an explanation for his probable feelings of alienation from Japanese culture, but I feel they would make for an interesting lens to examine the Arakawas through as well.

I actually hadn't ever considered the similarity with regard to Mine and Jo's dads, but that makes so much sense! If I were to take it a step further, I think feelings of "abandonment" by their fathers have had long-lasting effects on both them and Masato. Jo we've been talking about, his father was technically still "there," but he wasn't in his corner, which feels much the same as abandonment to a child.

I think Mine's internalized a lot of the same feelings even though his father never meant to abandon him (I guess Jo's may not have, necessarily; alcoholism can destroy a family whether the individual wants that to happen or not). Like, unfairness, displacement, lack of control, the loss of the only support you have and so on. I think dwelling on that is what sent Mine's mental state spiraling, and what made it imperative to just believe Daigo was "dead" to try and move on as soon as possible. He didn't want to be hurt the same way again.

It's also probably what he was projecting in his ridiculous villain speech during The Orphanage Scene; the reason offering kids support in the way Kiryu does is a form of "victimization" in his eyes, at that moment, is because that support can be ripped away from you at any time. The scene is kind of hilarious to me because it's like, "okay we need Mine to have a kick-the-dog moment, his actions have been too understandable," but I do get it from that angle.

Similarly, I think those feelings of abandonment are why Arakawa faces the brunt of Aoki's abuse, because it's like, "YOUR negligence is why I had to go through all of that." So I get why Jo, like your sister, wouldn't want the finger pointed at him, but at the same time… damn. Perhaps if Arakawa had never had that talk with Masato, things might've been different. I get the impression he wouldn't be able to endure keeping things to himself for as long as Jo, though, given things like the letter he sent Ichi in prison.

Oh, yeah, Jo is CRAZY protective of Masato too! "If anything happens to him, killing you a thousand times would be insufficient!" I think part of his overreaction to having Masato's money is also that if Ichi can't listen to orders that fundamental, who's to say he listened to the orders to keep Masato safe? I guess if you see Ichiban as incompetent to the point of almost being a malicious actor, you might think that.

I'm sooo so glad you've noticed the rest of those similarities haha, I've been rotating them around in my brain like a cube for ages. A Venn diagram would be so fun to see! That's such an insightful look at the differences between Mine and Jo's offices too. I was a little confused about the placement of the social spaces, or even that they're there, but if you look at it as clearly separate from his personal spaces, it does make sense.

Also, not to harp on the books in the offices too much, but I compared the textures a little earlier. Mine's are basically all (very expensive) encyclopedias and language phrasebooks in English, Italian, French, and German, in contrast to Jo's discrete hardcovers and series of art history books. They're probably all stock assets lol, but I think they're surprisingly good fits; Mine dumping considerable time, money, and energy into his fascination with Western culture and Jo being the type to not want people to know what he's reading totally works for me.

But yes! It's kind of funny, because Yokoyama wasn't much of a Mine fan in his early days, but I hope he and the others keep on writing characters like him. I think of it as Mine's "legacy" in a series where past characters aren't acknowledged too often; the most I can recall are that Hakuho mention in 4 and the fencing around the Touto roof perimeter.

Speaking of, I love Mine's missed shots in the finale specifically because he's an excellent marksman in his Okinawa character story. Why? How? Who Knows, He's Perfect. (Probably not as good of a shot as Daigo though lol)

And yeahhh, there are other interviews, but it ain't the same! It was the most in-depth one I know of. I think this is one of the only remnants, and I shall entrust it to you.

But yes, exactly! And I'm also glad Y7 introduced more people to them (myself included), Tsutsumi's my favorite actor of all time and Nakai's brilliant. They make a great combi! Of the things I've seen where they co-star, I think Princess Toyotomi and Hero SP are both solid; the latter is a special for a longer show, but I honestly didn't even notice lol. Musashi I wasn't personally able to get through even though I've read the book, so I'm not sure how it plays out between them.

Also I DIDN'T KNOW TORU DIED IN PURE??? That came out of nowhere oh my god T___T But if you're ever looking for anything rare, feel free to ask! I might know a guy (gender neutral) with a stash, Fly, Daddy, Fly included.

OH MAN MINE'S WIKI ENTRY I've definitely made my opinions about it known, but now knowing the truth behind it it's kind of funny and still so unfortunate. I'd almost want to recommend a section dedicated to the topic since it's such an integral part of his character, though I also understand wanting to keep the wiki strictly to factual information and to exclude speculation (or "speculation" anyhow- it's definitely more of a concrete situation, especially going off of the information provided in your pinned post on the topic. If anything, that sort of information would belong to the "Trivia" tab wouldn't it- but again, it's such a deep situation it can't really be summarized in one or two sentences) and the topic being too niche to have a page dedicated to it. It's nice to know that the subject isn't trying to be brushed under the rug though and it's just a matter of awkward formatting/incomplete work!

Furthermore on The New Years Event, I would LOVE RGGO to expand on the topic since they've been so liberal with the stories they make and the depth those stories add to the characters. Honestly, I was expecting Masato's card to have that as its accompanying character story, so it's unfortunate that he doesn't get it or any story as far as I'm aware (or maybe he does have one and my poor pull luck has just prevented me from getting the card to find out myself, but I've looked as much as I could and couldn't find an upload of it). Oh well, I guess it's the old "if you want something done you gotta do it yourself-" not that anything I could make could ever be up to scratch, so I'm glad I do have people interested in what I have in mind :)

About Nakai, I wouldn't feel wrong trying to accredit his comment to a time before he knew the full plot or saw the full game and was just debriefed on the general story/character relationships, and I also wouldn't put it past RGG to have deleted scenes/ideas (if those do exist, RGG please let me in your vault I'd like to take a peak...)!

The psychology of Mine is another topic I've been wanting to officially tackle for a while now, so I'm glad I have this chance to share some of what I have mental bullet points for.

Moreover, Mine's dad and how he "left" Mine undeniably impacted him significantly beyond physically leaving him alone, and it definitely manifests in The Orphanage Scene and his idea that killing Daigo would be "putting him out of his misery". In those instances, he sees Daigo and the orphans as victims of an unfair reality, Daigo being comatose, and the orphans having the endure the struggles of being orphans (and that added-on, projected anxiety that their comfortable lives now could vanish at any second like it did for Mine). Mine's mustache-twirling villainy is funny for its absurdity, but I also genuinely appreciate it since it lets us peak into his warps philosophy better. It doesn't justify his actions by any means, but it explains to us why he can justify his actions as from a place of love or pity as opposed to thoughtless evil.

To add on, Mine's relationship with his father, from what we're allowed to gather, was healthy and positive. Because of their positive relationship, the removal of such adds credence as to why Mine's desperate to get that love again. It especially makes sense considering Japan's horrendous attitude and negligence towards orphaned children that was even demonstrated during Mine's childhood while his father was alive.

And as an inverse aside, Jo's relationship with his dad was toxic, whether it was due to blatant abuse or combined negligence. It's fair to assume that Jo never got to experience genuine, secure love growing up, so as a result, it's not something he actively seeks out. He's been without it long enough that it's not something he necessarily craves like Mine who used to have it until it was taken from him.

Masato certainly makes it clear he felt isolated despite the efforts Jo and Arakawa repeatedly went through for him, and it's apparent it's an unfortunate side affect of internalized ableism. It definitely doesn't help anyone's case that Masato had seemingly been informed of the night of his birthday's events (from Arakawa's point of view, obviously), and it's clear that knowledge gives ammunition as to why he resents him.

You're right on Jo potentially seeing Ichi as a bad actor, it's not as if he has disdain for him for no reason! Like even if Ichiban hadn't taken Masato's money the way Jo could have imagined, the idea that Ichi can't be responsible in one avenue can easily lead back to Ichi having the potential to look after Masato, especially when he seems to be the one who predominately looks after him when he's tasked to.

I've already got my program open to make my little chart and have my reference pictures ready, so hopefully I can have that silly thing out soon haha- I'm glad you're interested in seeing it, and I hope other people will like to see it too! Jo and Mine really are my favorite antagonists, so it's funny (and I guess not surprising) that they have parallels to them.

To add on to that though, I think it's fun to look at the extra details, no matter how small; I'm probably more happy than I should be that you looked at their office's books, but I can't help be a fan of the details you found (whether they're generic models or not, I'm running with them- I've done more with less before lmao)! Mine having language books is definitely in-line with his interests, but Jo having art history books is weirdly endearing (and dare I say another point for "these are the same picture" comparing it to Mine's own love for art). Jo being so private to the point of blocking out the binds of the books he owns is so accurate to him and his secrecy, and the concept that he likes to read about art in his spare time is a new favorite concept for me.

Mine really isn't acknowledged much after 4; in comparison to Ryuji and Nishiki, he's remembered throughout the series the least (you can argue the same for Ryuji, but considering he gets a whole new life in Dead Souls, I think it's fair to say that makes up for the mainline series forgetting about him. Though I guess the same could be Mine getting a prominent role as Hijikata in Ishin... Definitely not as cool of a spot as to be a playable protagonist with a machine gun arm if I'm honest). In that, it's great that his likelihood can exist in future characters, and I hope they continue the trend of phenomenal antagonists in LaD8 and onward!

I'm eternally grateful for this frame you've gifted me thank you so much- Nakai's smile is such a blessing honestly, I'm glad if anything survived from the interview it can be this shot at least.

I've got Princess Toyotomi and Hero SP added to my watch list, DEFINITELY something I'll be excited to check out as a reward once I have all my important business taken care of this week! Honestly, I haven't seen Musashi either: while I was looking through their filmography I saw it was a project they did, but I've always been bad at watching long series so I didn't take the time to see their performance together.

For things I have seen though... yeah he dies SORRY IF THAT WAS HOW YOU FOUND OUT </3</3 Honestly I didn't expect myself to love the series as much as I did (admittedly it was predominately because of the leads and their relationship), but when it happened I was both- dare I say crushed- a little humored a little funny in a dark-comedy way.

And if you do have access to harder-to-get films, I'd absolutely be interested in hearing about it. One of Nakai's movies Good Morning Show has been haunting me for weeks: it sounds like such a fun movie yet I can't find it anywhere </3

[wildtornado-o]

Napoleon being Delightful as always

[cowboy-robooty]

svsss made me realize fuck or die is actually good because it works out well when all the characters would and do genuinely choose die

[bonnetsharks]

My nerdy dad stumbles across Um! Actually on yt and becomes a fan

He starts watching some other dropout stuff (breaking news, game changer), “wow, that redheaded guy is really funny”

I tell him that those are the same people who make the dnd show I’ve loved for YEARS, but he brushes off my recommendation of D20 because of how long the episodes are and because he’s never been into Dnd

Like 7 months later he finally plays BG3. I receive daily ramblings about his character (he made a Druid and put all his xp into animal handling so he could befriend as many dogs as possible).

Falls in love with the roleplay aspect of the game (“it’s like I’m writing a book! They keep putting my guy into situations and I get to figure out what he’d do!”)

Yesterday, ten months after I first offered it to him, he finally asks for my Dropout login so he can try Dimension 20 on a long car ride

In less than 24 hours, he has listened to 8 hours worth and planned an entire dnd party with the other teachers in his department

I have never been so proud

This man spent my entire childhood indoctrinating me into his obscure interests and now I get to do it back