#funny how g-d works

[shalom-iamcominghome]

It's my first time making a round challah!

I think it looks kind of like the cat toys I used to get for my cat, but making this got me in the holiday spirit. It's definitely not pretty, but I've always been a function over aesthetics kind of guy, and in my excuse... This is the first time I've woven and braided a dough (learn how this one was braided here! It's at minute three!).

I'm honestly glad for 5784 to be over... I've got so many things I should do to make 5785 better, and I wish that everyone making new year's resolutions have a smooth journey in achieving them all🩵

May we be inscribed in the book of life and receive blessings, and bless g-d for sustaining us to this moment

[lovesickeros]

popping in randomly after almost an entire month just to talk non stop about the tsaritsa again everyone sit down.

specifically just thinking about the implications of tsaritsa's ideals originally being about love + the abandonment of those ideals to complete her goal of, presumably, destroying Celestia or whatever she's cooking up. to the point even her people don't love her and I probably don't even remember a time her ideals were of love. now it's all just ice and snow and cold.

which makes romantic fics w her even funnier because she's purposely removed this part of herself and suddenly reader walks into teyvat like they own the place (they do) and I can only imagine her reaction. angry, probably. because why you? what are you doing to her that's caused her hundreds of years of strict adherence to rejecting "love" both from others and to others to just. collapse. absolute shattering of her world and you probably don't even know it bc if nothing else she's good at hiding it. a lot of denial. tries to pick you apart and see what's makes you so different.

and oh she just hates it. she loathes it.

basically one sided enemies to lover trope because she can't stand you for a while but if you stick around she starts warming up to you and it makes it WORSE. so much worse. tries to distance herself but your just everywhere and it gets on her nerves because why does she love you? she isn't capable of love, not anymore. she thought she was.

g-d forbid one of the harbingers or PIERRO notices she'd never live it down. might even consider the implications of just killing you (she doesnt). worse if you know about it and act like a brat she will lose her damn mind

just the tsaritsa being an absolutely horrible mess internally.

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

so tormented that i am currently working on two different stories about ex-druggie chicagoan jewish guys being in bands and supernatural forces fuck everything up. one features actual G-d and a messenger Angel is a central character and the other one has ghosts and shit.

the two are different enough that they are separate characters but similar enough that it's obvious that they are both based on myself. i'm doing bad btw.

[prijune]

Behold more ocs from the back.

[pettytiredandjewish]

Not me and my bosses getting distracted during our meeting by listening to video game music 😂

[whokilledsamara]

May I request a NSFW alphabet for our deranged, red ass, momo-eyed princess Mr Scarletta from Homicipher👉👈˃ᴗ˂

MR. SCARLETELLA NSFW ALPHABET

a Mr. Scarletella nsfw alphabet. {an : omg.. why ofc.. hes sooo hot i love him. also funny words >< we need more porn of this man in general, also im working on a hc fic for him~~~~ if nobody will write for him then i will!!! ^•^}

warnings! : stalking, non-conish..? more like dub-con, rough sex, cunnilingus, blowjobs, yandere, blood kink, knife play, hes a kinky mf, abuse play, asphyxiation, afab and amab genitalia described, sadism kink, red. everywhere. miss-use of an umbrella.... looks around nervously

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

it really depends on his mood. USUALLY he is somewhat decent at it. he doesnt really understand the human need for aftercare, so most he will do is probably clean you and cuddle you on certain occasions.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

for him, he likes his hands. and his height, but mainly his hands. {plus you complimented them once, so it made him like them more.}

on YOU, other than your face, definitely your waist and neck. he likes how fragile you are. also he likes YOUR height. small.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

due to his sheer size, he cums a lot. not TOO much, and not as much as the others, but enough to fill you to the brim.

he almost always cums inside, unless its a blowjob. if it is, he likes to pull out and cum on your face or chest. make sure to have your tongue out though.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he really wants to fuck you unconscious. though not really a secret, he makes it obvious.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

you would be his first time, being a ghost and all. but hes a very fast learner so expect him to be a beast in bed {or wherever} once he finds those spots and what turns you on.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

any position that he can choke you in. or shove his fingers in your mouth. he would take another position if you offered though. he just wants you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

even outside of sex, he isn't humorous. hes always serious with that stare that he does {soo sexy.. (´﹃｀)}

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

not a lot, but its there. nice red happy trail and hair where it would be normally.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

well he's always romantic. in his own... creepy way. but he does love you. too much. in an obsessive, stalker way. so yes, he is.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he doesn't, nor does he feel the need to, but if he finds YOU touching yourself.. thats a special occasion, he WILL whip it out and start stroking himself then. and only then.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

oh dear.. blood kink, abuse kink, impact kink, vouyerism, asphyxiation, degradation, cnc, etc

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

either his "space" or somewhere random. {he secretly hopes someone will find you}

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

coprophilia, vomit. thats literally it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

prefers giving. you are his QUEEN. {king if you prefer.} he is a beast with his mouth. he would do anything you ask, much like Mr. Crawling.

he does enjoy receiving though, loves to see you go down on him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

fast and rough. will only slow down if you BEG him to.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

anything to get you and him off. he does prefer to take his time with you, so usually he will just teleport you somewhere.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

obviously. i mean its Mr. Scarletella that we are talking about. {drools...} he would do anything risky.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

doesnt have stamina, could go for hours honestly. he can cum pretty fast if he wants to, but either way he just wants YOU.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

no he doesnt own any. {unless you count his umbrella... well get to that later..}

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

oh all the time. constantly teasing you and trying to get you horny. if you tease him back then its OVER for you.. good luck walking ><

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

not loud at all, his breath may hitch and he might groan softly every now and then, but he wants to listen to your noises more than anything.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he will use his umbrella handle as a "dildo" of sorts. wants to watch you attempt to put it in. the end is curved, so its fun to watch you struggle. he will force it if he has to.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

oo,, big boy. hes over 8 feet tall, so its a given. his shaft is around 8-9 inches maybe, a darker tip and maybe 3 inches wide.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

hes only horny if either you are, or if you do something that turns him on.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

doesnt need sleep, he is a ghost. does enjoy watching you sleep. hes weird, per se. will cuddle up to you and get you as close as possible.

[koushirouizumi]

{...Apparently I un-locked something by making this post}

[xxsabitoxx]

Nanami Kento NSFW A-Z

Part of my 20k follower celebration (past due)

Warnings: if it isn’t abundantly clear, this is smut :)

A/N: in honor of hitting 20k followers a while back, I’m going to be posting 10 NSFW alphabets for JJK men — scheduled post 9 :)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Kento prioritizes aftercare, he doesn’t care how tired he is after the fact. He’s making sure you are happy, comfortable and your needs are cared for. Kento will make sure you enjoyed yourself, making sure to ask if he was too rough or if there was anything you didn’t enjoy. He’ll ask if you’re sore at all and will take the time to massage where you’re tender. He’ll clean you up and get you water if needed. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He’s prone to saying all of you. There isn’t one part of you that he doesn't deeply adore, but when it comes down to it… especially if you tell him he can only name one thing… he’ll say your chest. Kento is a boob/chest lover. Doesn’t matter if they’re huge, big, average, small, flat, Kento adores your chest. 

On his own body, Kento is quite fond of his thighs. He’s a bit shy about admitting that but he thinks they look pretty damn good in his suit pants and workout attire. He also thinks they look pretty damn good when you’re grinding down on them. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Bless him, Kento loves coming all over your chest. He loves seeing his pearly cum paint your chest in ropes, going as far as to smear it further before sticking his fingers into your mouth to clean them. He thinks he’s a little bit sick for having  that fascination  but you assure him you enjoy it just as much as he does. And, like most, Kento will never turn down coming inside of you if presented with the opportunity. Though he’s guilty of doing the same thing he’ll do to your chest… collecting whatever drips out before plunging them back inside of you or bringing them to your pretty mouth. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

If given the opportunity, Kento would gladly wear your underwear. But not a clean pair… no they have to be already worn, maybe even with a stain or two from your own arousal. Though he can’t last very long in them, getting way too worked up to not take them off and use them to jerk himself until he’s spilling all over them. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Kento may not have much experience, but you’d never know it. He loves raunchy novels, opting to read them in his free time when he can. He’s not huge on porn but when he was younger it was his go to. Kento has no shame in actually putting research into these things because he wants to make sure his future partner is satisfied whether they are his first or his fifth. So when he fucked you for the first time, you’d never ever guess that you were only his second “hook up�� which evolved into much more. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Kento is a sucker for cowgirl. Both regular and reverse, he loves watching your face as you struggle. The position also allows him a perfect view, he gets to watch his cock disappear and reappear inside of you over and over until you topple over and beg him to take over. Kento works out often, so it’s not surprising that he’s able to angle you just right and thrust up into you without breaking a sweat. He’s also partial to watching your body bounce and jiggle every time you drop yourself down on him. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Kento leans heavily on the more serious side of things when it comes to sex. It’s like… mildly impossible that he’ll crack a joke or say something funny when fucking you. He’s serious but not in a way that would make you uncomfortable, if that makes sense. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Kento maintains his hair very well, not too long and not too short. He prefers to have some hair down there opposed to bald. He actually did shave it all off once and was not a fan of the regrowth process so he decided to not do it again. Also yes, it’s blonde like the rest of him but just a tad darker, like his eyebrows. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Kento is a little awkward at first with intimacy and being romantic during sex. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be, he’s just unsure on how to go about it without making himself cringe. He wants to make sure you’re comfortable with the things he does and says but that takes time to learn through trial and error. But once he’s used to the whole idea, he’s pretty romantic when fucking you. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Kento rarely jacks off now in his late twenties. When he was younger he would do it probably 2-4 times a week mostly to unwind, but now that he’s really gotten busy with sorcery work (and he had you) he doesn’t really have the time alone anymore. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Hair pulling… choking… orgasm control… things that all mildly bleed into the realm of BSDM. Kento was a bit surprised when you thought he would be more on the vanilla side of things. Kento is also heavily into breast play (both giving and receiving) and spanking. He likes being called sir but doesn’t know how he feels about daddy.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Any location in your home but preferably the bed, countertop, couch or dining room table. If he’s very daring he would fuck you stupid in a public but private space (such as an empty classroom in jujutsu tech and/or his old office) 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Cuddling… not to say he can’t cuddle and keep it G rated… but when you’re laying in bed with your ass pressed into his groin and you purposely start wiggling your hips? He’s done for. Kento lives for your massages, the way your hands dig into his tense shoulders and slowly move lower. He also really enjoys you wearing his clothing… with nothing underneath. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Kento downright refuses to do anything cuckolding or threesome related. It just isn’t for him. Now he’s not going to say it will never ever happen because who knows. But at this point in his life, he is not willing to share you and quite frankly you aren’t willing to share him. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

GIVING. Kento is utterly obsessed with giving head. He would spend hours between your thighs if he could (what's stopping you hmmm). Kento uses it as a way to calm down and unwind after a stressful day, lapping at your sex until you’re mewling and making a mess of yourself. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Kento is slow and sensual, even when he needs to take some stress off. He’s rolling his hips into you deeply, so slowly that it's impossible to not feel every inch of his cock penetrating you. The only exception to this is when you are riding him. You set the pace and Kento is more than willing to accommodate it and keep up with it when you inevitably get tired.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Kento isn’t super into quickies, he doesn’t like being in a rush when it comes to sex. He likes to take his time with you, blocking out the rest of the world for an hour or two while he treats himself to some much needed “self care” aka a hot shower, a good meal, and fucking you senseless until his bones feel like jelly and he can’t move. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Kento isn’t super risky, he’s open to trying a handful of things but he’s not really keen on it. Kento is also not into the idea of public sex… at least in locations where there is no door to lock or there is a highly likely chance that you’ll be seen and/or walked in on. So overall, not that huge of a risk taker but he’ll try something new here and there. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Nanami can last anywhere from 5-8 minutes per round. The amount of rounds he can go depends on how tired and/or stressed out he is. Typically he can always go two rounds if you’re up for it. The most you’ve ever gone with him was six total rounds but he says he can go longer… 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Kento is more reserved in this sense but he will buy a vibrator if you want one (he already owns one…) he’ll use his ties as restraints and his own hands for “spanking”. He can think of alternatives for pretty much everything but a vibrator. But if you really want to buy some sex toys, Kento will amuse you and buy them. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kento?? Unfair?? Yeah no. Kento may tease you when you are alone, a teeny bit in bed, but he is all about you and your pleasure… even when he’s stressed or mad. He will never withhold anything from you while fucking and he will never tease you until you’re crying. He much prefers making you cum so many times you’re delirious from pleasure. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Kento is definitely on the quieter side but that is mildly due to his deeper voice. Kento isn’t really one to moan, he’ll groan and curse and gasp more than moan. But that’s not to say he can’t. If you’re getting him off real good? A couple unrestrained moans will slip in there and you’ll notice his cheeks flush because of it. You tend to leave it be, not teasing him about making such noises because you know if you do he’ll probably never make the noises again. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Loves taking dirty pictures for you. He was so awkward about it at first when you initially asked him for a nude/dick pic. But that awkwardness actually worked to his advantage because the nude you received was good enough to be framed in your opinion. After the first one, Kento is an accidental pro and lewd photo taking and even has a folder in his phone for all of the ones he’s taken… he also has a separate folder of your nudes and nudes he’s taken of you. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Kento is 5.5 inches when soft and a whole 7.5 when hard. He’s a big boy, girthy like the rest of him and he sticks straight out. He’s a nice tan color with a pretty pink tip, a few prominent veins running up his shaft too. He’s a bit shy about his size because he knows he’s quite large so he keeps that in mind when getting ready to fuck you. He’s understanding when you go down on him, encouraging to take things slow and not force yourself to take more of him than you can handle. He likes to massage your jaw after, and praise you. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Kento’s sex drive isn’t astronomically high but he will never say no to sex when you offer/initiate something. He’s easily turned on by some of the things you do but he also has enough will power to control his desires. He’s quieter, which makes him freakier idc what anyone says. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Kento can fall asleep within two minutes after sex but he keeps himself up to make sure you are clean and comfortable. He’ll pull you in close, wrapping his arms snuggly around you and try his damn hardest to wait for you to fall asleep first. It’s really a 50/50 on if he’ll win that battle.

[minswriting]

SPENCER REID NSFW ALPHABET

A = Aftercare

spencer is so good at aftercare!! after any session, he’s holding you, giving you kisses, or you’re doing that to him. he’ll see if you need anything while giving you the softest of smiles. he just loves you! and wants you to be taken care of!

B = Body Part

spencer’s favorite body part on himself are his hands and fingers. he loves to finger you, making you cum with nothing more than just his hands. however, on you, he loves your waist. he likes to grip it during sex or to just pull you to him by your waist while you’re walking down the street together.

C = Cum

when spencer cums, he cums a lot. and it has everything to do with the fact that he doesn’t have a lot of time to jerk off. so he really only ever has release when he’s with you. he will literally paint your whole entire body with his cum and then use it as lube to fuck you.

D = Dirty Secret

spencer is a switch (it’s not the secret) and would love for you to tie him up and blindfold him while you’re riding his cock. it’s the idea of being at your mercy every once in a while that really gets him going. but being who he is, he’s just too shy to mention it.

E = Experience

i don’t think spencer has a lot of experience at all. but due to his intelligence level, he’s a fast learner and loses his virginity with the knowledge of already knowing how to make you cum. once the two of you are comfortable with one another, it’s literally the best sex ever.

F = Favorite Position

spencer’s favorite positions definitely are missionary, riding, and one where you’re on your stomach lying down and his front is pressed against your back while he’s fucking you. it’s just so sensual and deep and just feels oh so good.

G = Goofy

depending on the mood, i think spencer can be a bit goofy. but it’s not like being funny. it’s just things to lighten the mood like a little giggle here and there or a comment about how beautiful you look while he has the softest smile on his face.

H = Hair

spencer most certainly had a happy trail and is actually very well groomed down there. he likes to maintain it simply because he likes to look clean. on you, however, he doesn’t care. so even if you have a bush, he’s eating you out like a starved man.

I = Intimacy

he’s very intimate when you guys have time to take your time. he’s maintaining eye contact with you, holding you close to him while he’s fucking you or you’re riding him, and regardless, he’s telling you how much he loves you and how beautiful you are. intimacy is like the norm for him when it comes to sex.

J = Jack Off

it’s very rare for spencer to jerk off but when he does it’s when he’s in the shower and he’s pumping his cock hard and fast in order to get some sort of release. this usually happens when he’s on long cases and he’s unable to stop thinking about you and your cunt.

K = Kink

okay so he’s got quite a few. when he’s feeling more subby, he’s lowkey got a mommy kink. but when he’s in his dominant mood, he wants you to call him sir. i feel like spencer is also very huge in body worship. he’s got a huge praise kink (giving and receiving) and a huge degradation kink (giving and receiving). also lowkey he’s into somnophilia.

L = Location

he prefers to have sex in the comfort of your bedrooms. however, you guys have definitely fucked in the restroom at the bureau. and at a few bars. and in the car. and in the kitchen. and in the living room. honestly you guys have fucked in every room in your apartments.

M = Motivation

you. just simply you. he’ll take one glance at you while you’re working on something and he would start imagining you on your knees in front of him. or him on his knees eating you out while you’re doing your work. he just wants you wholeheartedly.

N = No

this definitely stems from the trauma of his profession but anything that hurts you or is a risk to your life in any way, shape, or form is a big no for him. he can do choking but not enough for you to actually lose your breath.

O = Oral

HE LOVES IT!! spencer is such a munch. he will eat you out for ours and make you cum at least twice on his tongue before he does anything else. he is also big on receiving it too. 69 all the way baby 😏😏

P = Pace

definitely depends on the mood. when he’s stressed and just needs release, you guys are fucking hard and fast. but if you both just want to feel close to one another, you guys are fucking slowly and sensually, clinging to one another for dear life.

Q = Quickie

loves them. especially early in the morning right before he has to get ready for work. you wake him up by riding his cock and he’s whining beneath you. god it’s his favorite thing. he also loves bending you over the counter and taking you from behind.

R = Risk

spencer likes to think he’s modest and would not take any risks. but he’s lowkey an exhibitionist and gets off on the idea of being caught at some point. so he’ll fuck you in places like the bathroom or fitting rooms.

S = Stamina

depends on the day but usually he has enough stamina to do two rounds. when he’s exhausted though, he can only do one.

T = Toys

loves them! especially when he’s away, he wants to call you while you’re fucking yourself with a dildo, imagining his cock inside of you. he absolutely adores using vibrators on you to tease the hell out of you too.

U = Unfair

dom spence can be so unfair. he loves to overstimulate you and do orgasm denial. but he also loves it when you do the same to him. deny his orgasm until he can’t help but cum without your permission. or overstimulate him until he’s got nothing left.

V = Volume

he’s very vocal. he’s a whiner, a whimperer, a moaner, a groaner. he’ll praise you, talk dirty to you, talk you through it. and he loves it when you reciprocate it. he’s not afraid to make noise with you.

W = Wild Card

spencer loves getting pegged.

X = X-Ray

i think spencer is just above average. he’s about seven or eight inches but his cock is skinny, not girthy. especially due to his thin and lean build. but he knows what to do with it. and regardless, you’ll be cumming on his cock.

Y = Yearning

i think he’s someone with a high sex drive but with immense self control. he wants you 24/7. but he knows to control himself because sex isn’t as big of a priority as is making sure you’re both happy and thriving.

Z = ZZZ

depends on the day but spencer will always do aftercare before falling asleep. so i would say he would fall asleep at least a half an hour after sex.

[eustasskidagenda]

Okay, this post is not based on a request. I kept thinking about it for hours and finally decided to write it down: how the OP characters would text their s/o. So here are some texting headcanons for some of my favorite characters: Eustass Kid, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Sabo. I'll probably write a part 2 with my other beloved characters: Luffy, Marco, Killer, and Robin. :D

☆Texting HCs for Kid, Law, Sanji, Zoro & Sabo

CW : g/n reader, MDNI, Kid is cursing, fluff, funny, partly nsfw, mention of alcohol for Zoro 

WC : 2k

Kid

Your name/photo in his contacts: mine. With a photo of your ass, obviously. And when he's mad at you, he renames you mid(ge).

Such a brat.

His wallpaper: a cool photo of his motorbike (I'm sorry but Kid is that kind of man in love with his own bike/car. But it's okay, he's still my favorite.) Or, a pic of your ass.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery: your ass, random photos of your face when he’s teasing you, his bike, and some punk stuff (music, makeup, outfit etc.)

His fav emoji : none.

He likes to send really, really shorts messages. Like : 

"Hi" "u know" "i have an idea" "So listen:"

Goddam Kid, just write the WHOLE sentence in one message.

He's sending you random pictures of his torso, just to flex with his big tiddies.

And you have to respond with a heart emoji and praise him each time.

If you want, he's more than willing to send dick pick too. 

Again, you have to praise him. Even if the pictures are absolutely non-aesthetic. He's blessing you with his cock after all. 

"Babe, you don't know how to take beautiful pics of your dick." "WTF SHUT UP???????? It's MY dick???!!! OF COURSE IT'S BEAUTIFUL??!!!" 

Yeah, Kid is clearly using extra punctuation. 

Oh, sure, each morning, you receive a mirror selfie of his outfit of the day. Such a punk fashion icon. "Rate my outfit on a scale of amazing to amazing" 

He doesn't use emojis because they sound too soft and stupid. "em0teS aRe f0r s0fT b0ys Y/N"

If you complain about his messages looking cold, he might use random emotes to annoy you like "UgH iF U wAnt 🦬" (with that stupid dumb sponge bob meme)

Whenever he calls you, it seems like he's yelling through the phone. 

He likes using caps lock like "HEY Y/N, WANNA FUCK TONIGHT??????" 

He's sending you random punk/rock music. And you have to listen and react to every single music, otherwise he's so pissed off. He is sharing his world with you, the less you can do is interact with him. 

He also loves sending some pics of what he's working on, because Kid likes to repare/custom some cars or motorbike. 

And last thing, I like the idea of Kid Pirates being a punk music band, so sure, Kid loves to send you some videos of him playing guitar. "My fingers are skilled in three things : music, crafting and fingering you all the fucking day long"

His phone is so damaged because he throws it every time he gets angry (like every two minutes).

Law

Your name/photo in his contacts: y/n-ya. With a cursed picture of you. Just to tease you with it. 

His wallpaper: nothing, just the random by default home screen. In his view, wallpapers are useless and pointless.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery: random pictures you took of him, emo memes, and boring stuff about medicine or basic hygiene rules for Luffy. And a guide to "how to stop screaming and how to control your anger: a guide for children" for Kid. 

His favorite emoji: 🖕🏻

Whenever you annoy him with a stupid joke or a prank you saw on TikTok, his immediate reaction is to block you. He's so annoyed, please, leave him alone. He is immediately aware that it is a prank. Luffy always does the same to him before you do.

He's never using capital, it's for the emo aesthetic, like 'I hate bread'. Nope. But ✨"i hate bread."✨, yeah, much better

And yes, he uses "." everytime, it's for the dark and tired emo aesthetic. 

He always leaves a group conversation as soon as you include him. Please, he's so pissed off by those kinds of things. 

He's able to leave your message seen for days. Just because he was busy and forgot about what you said. If you need an answer, sure, try to call him. He always keeps his phone in silent mode. 

He likes to send you cool articles that he reads. Especially about medicine, tattoos or nerd stuff like movies, books, games etc.

"wanna go to a date tattoo with me tomorrow?" 

That kind of question is clearly his love language

He enjoys teasing you with random photos of his tattooed fingers or chest. "I bet you miss these fingers." And yeah, he's clearing curling his fingers on the pic like he would do when they are inside you. He's really good at teasing you with photos. 

Kid and Luffy steal his phone whenever he's with them. So be ready to receive a lot of ugly pictures of Law (taken by the chaotic duo), middle fingers from Kid, and blurry meat pictures from Luffy. 

Poor Law deserves a break.

Sanji 

Your name/photos in his contacts : 💗💘🛐Mon Amour (my love)🛐💘💗 With the most beautiful picture of you. 

His wallpaper : a cute couple photo.

What kind of pictures are in his gallery : a lot of cooking videos or photos, you, aesthetic pic of the sky and a private album with some hot nudes that you sent to him.

His favorites emojis : 💘💗💖🛐💍🧎🌺🌸🌹🫦🥰😘🧑🏻‍🍳🍽🍷🥘 (yeah, Sanji LOVES emojis)

He's always texting you back. If he can't reply within a second, he won't open the text. Sanji, leaving his beautiful s/o with that awful "seen"? Never. 

All the mornings "good morning sweetheart 💘" and all the evenings "sleep well sweetheart, dream about me 💖"

He wants to take a cute and aesthetic pic of the both of you all the days. 

He bombards you with pictures of his cooking. It's cute, but also annoying because he can't help but send extra long texts. He describes every single action he did, along with recipes and tips. 

He enjoys seeing your outfit of the day. He can attempt to match his clothes to yours. 

Random "I love you 💖" and "if no one told you you were pretty today : you're the prettiest 🥰" 

He enjoys sending you cooking videos. "We should eat this tonight. What do you think? 🧑🏻‍🍳"

He's pretty good at sexting. He knows how to take aesthetic photo of his hands, back, or mouth. Not just an ugly dick pick (Kid, Zoro, I'm looking at you). And he also likes to leave you some message like.

I would sit you down on this table if you were with me right now. You know, the one in your kitchen where he had dinner with your parents yesterday? I would gently kiss your neck, fondle your chest, and slowly kneel between your legs until you shout my name. You would pull on my hair, begging me to keep going until you cum repeatedly on my face.  👅 "

And if you send him a nude, well, he's going to die from a nosebleed.

Rest in peace, Sanji. 

Zoro

Your name/photos in his contacts : "y/n". You pick a picture for him because Zoro and phones are not compatible.

His wallpaper : a cool katana

What kind of pictures in his gallery : gym selfies, katanas and alcohol (all with ugly quality)

His fav emojis : 👍🏻 and 😴 Like:

"hey Zoro, you're alright" 👍🏻

"Zoro, wanna hang out?" 😴

"Babe, what are you doing?" 😴

"… am i annoying you?" 👍🏻

He can responds to absolutely anything with those two emojis. 

Zero is so oblivious, so let's be honest: he is not good at using phones. Almost every day, he forgets his phone at home. And even if he didn't forget about it, it's probably on silent mode or just off.

He doesn’t know how to use the keyboard, so prepare yourself for coded-message like "o!. @= sp⛑t t🧹day???/!df🆎e !!"He can't even use the excuse "my cat walked on my keyboard", he just sucks with technology.

Your messages are often "seen ✔️" and that's all. Not because he wants to be mean, just... he didn't understand the concept of answering every text. He takes all of your messages as random information. Like "Hey, I'd love to see you tonight!". Well. OK. Message understood. That's all.

The only application he has on his phone is Google Maps. Even with it, he still gets lost. "Turn left." Without a doubt, he turns right. 

Once, he tried to please you with a dick pic. But the photo was just terrible: bad luminosity, an ugly close-up of his cock, blurred as fuck, and you can see the dirty tissue behind him.

He doesn't answer when you call him because he's either asleep or at the gym (or drunk).

Once, he also tried to send you a voice message, but it was just the sound of the wind. He forgot to talk closer to the microphone.

Sabo 

Your name/photos in his contacts : "my revolutionary 🎩💛". With a beautiful pic of your smiling face. 

His wallpaper : a symbol of revolution. 

What kind of pictures in his gallery : petition screenshots, his brothers, you, anti-capitalist memes and a private album with some hot pic of you (naughty Sabo)

His fav emojis : 🔥✨🖕🏻💛✊🏻😡😏😎🤩👉🏻👌🏻🫵🏻

Sabo is... complicate. Sometimes, he doesn't answer for WEEKS. And sometimes he's extra chatty. And when he's chatty well...

Sabo is always spamming you with petition links. "Save the dolphins", "save the monkeys", "fuck capitalism", "for the resignation of *insert random politician name*" 

"Hey sweetheart, manifestation tomorrow. See you there!! 🫵🏻" 

When it's not petitions, it's probably videos or articles. Sabo is a pure revolutionary. Be prepared to receive lengthy texts when he wants to fight for a cause. It's cute, honestly. He's really involved and passionate. 

"You, me, on a trip tomorrow?! 😏"

Sabo has a knack for surprising you with trips, so prepare yourself. This man craves adventure and surprises. He wants you to join his crazy journey. 

Sometimes, he's using proper grammar and punctuation, sometimes he's using a lot of !!!!!!!!??????? And caps lock. Especially when he's furious about something.  He makes a lot of typo errors because he's always in a rush while typing.

Let's fught  *figrt *fijkt *FUCK *LET'S FIGHT (and fuck)

He enjoys taking pictures of you unexpectedly because it makes you seem more natural. 

"So… sweetheart… we have a new roommate" with a cute pic of a dog/frog/duck/snail/whatever. Sabo has a kind heart. If he sees a wounded or abandoned animal, he feels obliged to adopt it.

And regarding spicy texts… 

Sabo is a kinky boy. So sure, he's thirsty when it comes to sexting/nudes. As a revolutionary, he is also very careful. He always asks you first before sending you nude or spicy texts. If you're willing, then prepare yourself.

A bunch of nudes. Since he's good with them, he won't display his dick in a weird and unattractive angle to you. He enjoys showing you his hands when he's wearing his gloves. Or a mirror photo of his back.

"I know you will scratch it when I'll fuck you tonight 😏"

You're not forced to send him nude or spicy texts back. He respects your boundaries without exception. And if you send him a photo anyway, he's also really nice. Always a comment like "your ass is soooooo good with this angle. I can't believe I'm that lucky 🥵" and if he wants to save a photo for his collection, he's always asking if it's okay with you.

"Sweetie, i have a new toy for you… 💛"

We all know what he's talking about. Naughty Sabo.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Woke up to Larry gone. My brother is still sleeping in the livingroom, though, so I have to assume Larry has done a Dissapearing Act, and my brother is never gonna step foot in his room again 😄😅😆

This gentleman is Larry. The picture doesnt do him justice but he's about 4 inches wide (maybe 5 if he stretched), and he's living above my brothers bed. I woke up to my brother asleep on the couch in the living room this morning XD

Why don't I go and remove him myself?? Do my brother a solid??

... well, see, my brother has h u g e feet, and his room is right next to mine, and I'm sick of hearing him stomping around in the middle of the night. Larry, on the other hand, is a silent neighbour and I'm very happy to have him.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Context for my dumb discussion question: I'm aware that we shouldn't invoke anyone other than g-d for help - for instance, you wouldn't pray to or ask saint anthony to help you find your keys you misplaced in last night's drunken stupor. However, I want to see what everyone's standards are.

Dumb discussion question: Is it wrong of me to invoke Todd Howard when I am climbing up mountain in a video game? I play so many video games, and Skyrim has a very unique feature where you can climb basically any surface that isn't ninety degrees, henceforth I started calling this method of travel "todd howarding/todding it." When I'm climbing up any mountain that I really don't know if I'll make the summet in a video game, I've found I say, "come onnnn, todd howard." Because I find it funny.

This isn't a serious discussion question - I am not about to worship todd skyrim howard as a deity. I believe in and say the shema, I promise 😭

[nobody-nexus]

!!EP 4 SPOILERS!!

My thoughts on Episode 4:

First of all: I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD EVER RELATE SO HARD TO GANGLE BEFORE

AUGH. GOD. G O D. I FEEL HER ON SUCH AN EMOTIONAL LEVEL.

AAAAAAAA

THIS. THIS SCENE. I mask ALL THE TIME at work and just out in public in general. THIS FEELING. I NEVER THOUGHT THE FEELING OF TAKING OFF THE MASK WOULD BE VISUALIZED. IT'S... IT IS SO REAL. ACTUALLY

I ADORE the character information we got in this episode. The Jax being concerned, the drunk honesty of Ragatha, THE POMNI AND ZOOBLE KINDNESS TOWARDS SOMEONE WHO NEEDS IT

AUUUUUGHHHH.

Ragatha's line of "I hate you, but I don't want you to hate me" IS ALSO CALLING ME OUT WAY TOO HARD

Also I love how Jax is more of a grounded asshole then an overly cartoonish antagonist in this. "I like it better when you're sad" is such a realistic asshole-ish thing to do. But at the same time, I kind of get it? I'd never be that blunt or abrasive, but he's just bored and doesn't want this kinda adventure

But also THE MASK. THE MASKING. AAAAAAAAAA. GANGLE IS SO RELATABLE AND MY GOD

Pomni and Zooble being the most used to such a situation makes sense cause they're the most recent. Also SILLYSTRINGS. FUCKING SILLYSTRINGS. I GET CONTENT OF ALL THREE BABY LET'S GOOOOO

But in all honesty, each episode just makes me love this show MORE AND MORE. I can't WAIT TO SEE MORE (But of course not too early now)

Also.... Funny screenshots I managed to get

Anyway time to continue to be so fucking obsessed with this show more :D

[may-stuff]

nsfw alphabet - fc43 edition

tw: i mean, many things related to sex but nothing too extreme. afab!reader. also, typos and grammatical mistakes as always because english isn't my first language.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

King of aftercare. He doesn't mind where you are; if you're in the comfort of your room or in a secluded area at some party/event or whatever, it doesn't matter, he will find a way to hold you in his arms and caress your skin, whispering sweet words in your ear, asking you if you're okay. He will only stop once he’s completely sure you’re fine.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his hands. Also, his arms. The force he has in them allows him to manhandle you however he pleases, which he thinks it's great.

He likes everything about you, every detail, every imperfection is a wonder in his eyes. But your breasts are his favorite part of your body. Doesn't matter their size or shape, he absolutely loves them and loves to play with them. Have you heard the legends about women having great orgasms by only having their tits and/or nipples played with? He'll give you that. He'll play with your tits and suck on your nipples until you're cumming hard.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He likes it messy, so... He'll cum wherever you allow him to, but his favorite place to cum is obviously inside of you. Watching as his own seed drips out of your beautiful cunt? Amazing. He's hard again in seconds.

Also, he loves pinting your tits and/or face with his cum. Additionaly, he loses his mind when he cums in your mouth and you drink up until the very last drop.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Honestly, he doesn’t have secrets because he never shuts up and has this chronic need to tell you everything. So, if he discovers something new related to his sexuality and the way he lives it, he’ll tell you right away.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I honestly feel like Franco isn't that experienced. Sure, he had girlfriends before and has had sex, but it's not like he fucked every single hole that got in front of him.

Either way, he knows what he's doing. He's very perceptive and naturally talented in everything he does/tries so I feel like, even if he isn't sure, he'll figure it out in seconds and will make you feel so good. It's totally a plus if you learn more together.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

I feel like he has a top three: cowgirl, doggy style and missionary. And he can't choose only one because he fucking loves all of them. But if we take his love for your tits into consideration, then we could say that cowgirl is his favorite because he can see and play with your tits all the time.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It depends on the context. If you're doing it first thing in the morning or after chilling on the couch together, the mood is more relaxed and he can be goofy about it. He never shuts up so I can totally see him saying funny stuff while fucking you and you're both moaning like crazy and laughing. It'd be weird but fun.

If it's one of those times where he's jealous (or you are) or you had a fight and are making up, then he's all serious and dominant.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Well groomed. He feels like it’s more hygienic that way. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can be very romantic in his own way. Again, it depends on the context. Spending time in your arms, feeling your skin against his, whispering love words in your ear… he loves it, it makes him feel alive. Sometimes he’ll take more time worshiping you in a romantic way than with his cock inside of you. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Unfortunately, you have to spend several days apart from time to time, due to work most probably. You try to be together as much as you can, but when you're away he jacks off pretty often. He can't help it. He thinks about you all the time, and when you aren't there with him he just needs to touch himself, otherwise he'd go crazy.

He loves recording himself or taking pics and then sending them to you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Dirty talk - I’ve already said this a hundred times: his dirty talk is elite, both in Spanish and English. But so is yours. Every time you say something dirty while he’s pounding into you, he becomes feral and won’t stop until he makes you literally scream his name.

Praise kink - He loves it when you compliment him while you’re having sex, especially when you’re on top of him, riding him and telling him how good he makes you feel, how much you adore his cock (again, he loves dirty talk) 

A bit of breeding kink - Listen, he’s young and doesn’t want to be a father right now, but the idea of getting you pregnant? He gets hard at the thought of it. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Your own bedroom will always be his favorite place to have sex with you, but if the situation requires to do it in any other place, he'll do it without hesitation. He's a menace and nothing will stop him.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Everything aboout you turns him on, but when you bite on your lower lip, looking at him in the eyes, it's over for him. Also, those doe eyes of yours, pretending innocence, it stirs something in him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Nothing that involves you getting hurt. He'll enjoy some spanking and maybe squeeze your neck a little while he fucks you, but nothing beyond that. I feel like pain doesn't turn him on.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves both equally. The sight of you on your knees, struggling to get all of his cock inside of your sweet mouth is as addictive as burying his face between your legs and eating you out.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Again, it depends on the context. He's slow and sensual when you're doing it first thing in the morning or maybe after a long day, after a hard race. He needs to feel you but doesn't have too much energy in him to make it fast and rough. He is fast and rough in other circumstances, maybe after a few days without seeing you, he's desperate and needs to ruin you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not opposed to a quickie when the situation requires it, but it isn't his favorite thing ever. He prefers to take his time with you. For him, spending the entire night together is better than a hundred quickies during the day.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He loves to take risks, I mean, look at him. He's bold enough to try anything that crosses his mind, much more if it's something you ask for. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Great stamina. He's an athlete after all. As long as you give him a few minutes to recover between sessions, he's at it again in almost no time. Also, everything makes him horny so…

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I don't think he owns toys, at least not during the first months of your relationship. Maybe you're the one who introduces him to toys and, as we said, he's in for anything (as long as it doesn't include hurting each other) so he won’t complain. He does prefer to make you cum only with his dick, fingers or mouth, though. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

I mean, I shouldn't even have to answer this. He loves to tease, his favorite thing to do in the whole world. 

From something small like touching your arm or waist when you're doing chores around the house, to something so much bigger like sending you dirty texts when you're having dinner with your family/friends. He loves to feel how you tremble in his arms every time he touches you even if it's innocently; and when you're all flustered in public, trying to hold yourself back? A work of art in his eyes.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I feel like he isn't the loudest but he definitely makes some pretty, quiet sounds when he's inside you. He can't help it. 

I already told you all that I don't see him as extremely dom, I feel like he's a switch and he goes into the sub area pretty often so I bet he moans quietly and whimpers your name every time you’re on top of him, taking control and setting the pace. He’ll moan and beg you to move faster or let him cum. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

We stated that he isn’t the biggest fan of quickies, but he may have fucked you in some secluded area in Williams’ garage after some hard race that left him fuming with anger. The press, his managers, the entire team where looking for him, wondering where the hell he is, while he’s fucking you mercilessly i some bathroom or closet.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Normal, maybe slightly above average. It’s 7 inches alright? I feel like it’s thick, though. And he knows how to use it, which it’s actually the only thing that matters.

I feel like he has a pretty cock, like those that are nice to look at. It looks delicious when he’s hard; all veiny and with a nice, thick head that gets impossibly red...

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High as fuck. We already said that you have to spend some days apart from time to time, so he knows he won’t be able to be with you all the time, thus he always has his hands on you and gets horny pretty easily. All you have to do is bat your eyes at him or bite on your lower lip and he’s ready.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

We said he’s the king of aftercare, so he won’t fall asleep until he’s sure you’re completely done and ready to go to bed. He’ll take a bath with you and help you to change the sheets. There’re times, though, where he’s so exhausted that he will fall asleep with you in his arms, but it isn’t something he pretends to do all the time. 

a/n: hello, my darlings. hope you had a little fun while reading this! i know it isn't much, but it is something!

[ilyrafe]

𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒕 ✧ 𝒓. 𝒄.

A - affection (how do they show affection)

rafe isn’t the most affectionate person in the world, but when he feels comfortable and safe enough, he makes a point of showing you how dear you are by giving you expensive gifts and unique experiences like a weekend on a yacht, away from everything and everyone, or a dinner at an expensive restaurant in new york city, with ward’s private jet. he spares no effort to show you that he can take care of you as he thinks you deserve. he’s also not very good with words, but rafe is an extremely transparent person, so his face says it all. his eyes always soften when he’s looking at you, and that says more than any diamond necklace or any declaration of love.

B - balance (how do they balance you, work/school/life?)

maybe rafe is a bit of a workaholic, money and power are very important things to him, but he goes out of his way to try and fit you into his life. he doesn’t always succeed, but he tries.

C - cuddles (do they enjoy cuddling? what positions?)

he’s not used to being cuddled, so naturally he doesn't do it to anyone. most of the time, you are the one who initiates the gesture, and it takes a long time for him to reciprocate and not feel awkward. whenever rafe is anxious, you cuddle him until you feel him calming down, and your cuddles are healing. they help immensely. he had never felt so loved and safe. you two normally stay quiet, just wanting the comfort of one another after a hard day, but sometimes, he’ll ask you stuff here and there.

D - date (what was your first date?)

after a few weeks of just pretending that neither of you had any serious feelings for the other, rafe invited you to dinner and you accepted. he was relaxed, in a good mood and even made jokes that made you laugh and throw your head back. he didn’t seem to be the same rafe who walked around with kelce and topper with an air of superiority. he was funny, smart, cute and perhaps the most interesting person you’ve met.

E - excited (how excited do they get when they see you/are with you?)

your presence calms him enough for him to organize his thoughts. it doesn’t mean he’s going to vent to you, but your presence makes you feel at ease. he loves seeing you, especially after long periods of time, when he needs to travel for work and you can’t go. he’ll make sure he’ll make up for the time he was away.

F - fighting (what happens when you fight)

your first fight was a big fight, which made rafe understand that you’re not as submissive as he would like, because you’re not afraid of him and you hit him head on with the same tone he uses when he’s angry. in the first fight, rafe just took out all his frustrations on you, which made you mad. this fight almost ended the relationship, because you already had some unpleasant things about him that were stuck in your throat and everything ended up exploding, but after a long conversation, you got it together and now rafe thinks five times before thinking of taking out his problems on you.

G - gorgeous (pet names. what do they like to call you? what do they like to be called?)

rafe is quite simple, he calls you “babe” or “baby”. he rarely calls you by your name.

H - hi (first time meeting)

you met at a party he was throwing at tanny hill, as a friend of his took you. you apologized for crashing the party, but rafe thought you were adorable and obviously gorgeous. you praised the mansion and said you were having fun, and he promptly said you could come over whenever you wanted, but he didn’t say it with a sexual connotation, but rather a friendly one. he offered to show you other parts of the house and that certainly attracted some looks.

I - intimacy (how romantic they are)

rafe hasn’t had many romantic experiences in his life, he was never attracted to the idea of ​​dating until he met you, so he found himself searching the internet for “romantic gestures”, “how to impress a woman” and things like that. he wanted to do everything right, he wanted you to see that he was taking you seriously. he likes to take you to dinners, he gets you flowers and expensive gifts.

J - jealousy (do they get jealous?)

both of you get jealous of each other, actually. he doesn’t like to see you talking to other boys, except kelce and topper, but you don’t stop having male friends because of that, after all, you don’t stop him from having female friends either (if he wants to). you tend to feel jealous when you see him getting along with an ex girlfriend or even a former hookup.

K - kisses (where do they like to kiss you/how often?)

in public, rafe gives you quick kisses here and there, sometimes on your hand, but mostly on your lips. in private, he’s quite passionate and loves to kiss your neck and collarbones. he also kisses your forehead a lot, especially when you’re asleep! when you spend time apart for whatever reason, his kisses are urgent (which you absolutely live for).

L - love (when was the first time they said i love you or realized it?)

rafe realized he was in love with you when you spent a whole night comforting him after a terrible fight with ward and sarah. you did everything. you held him, you let him cry, you let him vent and you never let go of him. he never felt so loved in his life before, no one never really heard him before. you were so caring and understanding, never interrupting him.

M - moving in (when do you decide to move in together)

after a few years of relationship, rafe proposes that you move in together, after all, you are already adults and you know that you will be “together forever”. you don’t think twice. you spend more time with him than in your own home anyways.

N - newborn (their reaction to starting a family)

the thought of being a dad worries him a lot, actually. he doesn’t want his children to turn out like he (or sarah) did, he doesn’t want to repeat ward’s mistakes. he wants to do everything right. when the topic arises, he begins to read about parenthood, how to raise kids and all that stuff, which makes you certain that if you’re gonna have kids, they’re gonna be his.

O - open (how open you are with one another)

at first, he’s not open with you at all, but you can tell it’s a defense mechanism. when you and rafe start getting to know each other more and become more than friends, he begins to feel more comfortable with talking to you about himself and his life. he tends to talk more at night, before falling asleep. you’ve noticed rafe doesn’t like to keep secrets, he needs to let it out so he tells you a lot of things, some stuff being really random. you also feel the same and begin to tell him about yourself and it’s nice to hear that he can relate to you in something.

P - photos (what kind of photos you take of them/they take of you)

rafe likes photography and is quite good at it! he prefers to take the picture rather than being photographed, but you manage to sneak in a picture or two of his when he’s asleep or not looking. he has a lot of polaroids of you, but also on his phone.

Q - quirks (what random habits do you have that they love or hate/vice versa)

rafe is very messy. it seems that he’s physically unable to put an object back to its designated place. his room is always messy and he knows it. there are several plastic water bottles scattered around his bedroom and he doesn’t care to throw them away.

R - recovery (how you help them after an injury/vice versa)

rafe doesn’t like when you see him injured just because he doesn’t want you to be afraid of him, but he always lets you help him with his wounds. he knows you hate when he’s in a fight. he apologizes and says he’ll do better, but every once in a while you’ll get a text alerting you about another fight that he’s involved in.

S - solution (how they resolve fights)

when you are wrong, you apologize. rafe, however, has trouble recognizing when he’s wrong, and tends to blame others for his mistakes, but you never let him get away with it. he just hates when you tell him “rafe, you’re in the wrong, period. apologize and fix it.”, but deep down he does appreciate that you never buy his bullshit and puts him in his place. after everything is said and done, you both have a calm conversation and rafe does apologize more heartfeltly.

T - touch (when they need/want your touch, what will they do? how often?)

normally after a fight with ward, a long day at work or when he’s anxious, rafe wants nothing more than to be with you in his bedroom and hold you till it all goes away and he can breathe again. you don’t even need to touch him, the feel of you in his arms is enough. you play with his hair, you trace his back with your nails or you play with his hand, to let him know you’re there and you’re not going anywhere.

U - up (waking up with them)

waking up with rafe is the best. he has his arms around you every single time. if you’re still asleep, he just kisses your shoulder or forehead, trying to wake up a bit more before getting up and starting the day. if you’re up before him, you play with his hair and stroke his soft skin. he usually has this hard exterior, so sleeping is the rare chance you get to see him be calm.

V - vacation (where they travel with you)

you encourage rafe to visit other countries, discover new cultures and foods, and it’s always fun to travel with him because he values ​​comfort and lets you take control of the trip. while you like to explore the place by foot, he’s offering to call an uber and “get there faster!”.

W - wedding (how they propose/where you get married/honeymoon)

on a random day, rafe asked if you ever thought about getting married, and you said yes. then he asked if you would marry him one day, and you said yes. he took a small black velvet box from his pocket, opened it, showing a beautiful ring. the wedding took place just a few months later, and it was a small ceremony, with just a few family members and closest friends. rafe was radiant, and on your honeymoon, you went to greece.

X - x factor (what about you captivated them?)

your self-confidence. you don’t accept insults from anyone, least of all from him. he feels a little jealous of your confidence, because deep down he doesn’t have any. your greatest strength is your kindness and understanding.

Y - yawning (how they act when they’re tired)

like a child, rafe doesn’t really admit when he’s tired. he fights his sleep until he really can’t anymore. when he’s tired, he gets cranky and stubborn just like a toddler. he knows he’s tired, but for some reason he won’t just go to bed and fall asleep.

Z - zzz (how you fall asleep together)

before you, rafe liked his space, but when you both started sharing a bed, rafe couldn’t sleep by himself anymore. he needed to be holding you, smelling you. having you next to him is the only thing he really wants. he has begged you to stay the night just so he can sleep better and you always say yes.

[hornychristianprincess]

NSFW A-Z: ANTON

a/n: this is just my personal analysis based off my perception and observations of anton's personality. all of this is fiction/fantasy

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Anton can be initially trash at aftercare. He’ll still be trying to process his own emotions about what just happened before he can even think to tend to yours. He has a tendency to assume things so a part of him will just think you’re fine until you tell him otherwise. With some instruction, he can improve. Once he gets in the habit of doing it, you’ll never have to ask again. I also think this cutie would be prone to shyly asking you questions about the sex, wanting to know that it was as good for you as it was for him.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Anton spends a lot of time in the gym so I think he has a lot of pride in several parts of his body, but most strongly his broad shoulders and muscular arms. Being that he was once a professional swimmer, this is the part of his body stands out the most. It represents his hard work and unique talent.

On his partner, I feel like Anton would be too overwhelmed to pick one thing. He’ll like everything about you, even things that are nonsensical like your ankle or the back of your knees.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Anton will have a hell of an orgasm if you let him come in your mouth and swallow it. Something about it is almost gross to him, and in that way it turns him on even more. He’s also kind of curious about fucking you raw and coming inside of you; I could see him experimentally pushing it back in with his fingers, something exciting about seeing a part of himself oozing out of you. Most times though, he’ll settle for finishing in a condom, especially because I get the feeling he has a lot of anxiety about getting someone pregnant on accident.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Deep down, I think Anton is curious at the idea of degrading his partner, not just verbally, but physically too. He has sometimes sadistic fantasies of slapping someone on the face with his cock, face-fucking someone to the point of tears, and even watching you get ravaged by someone else. These thoughts are paradoxical for him though, because he simultaneously would lose respect for someone who would allow themselves to be treated that way. He’s also really nice so could never bring himself to talking down to someone he loves. So for now, these are things that he enjoys in fantasy and porn only.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

If Anton’s had sex, it was with a long-term girlfriend or close-friend-turned-lover. He needs to have an intimate level of closeness with someone before he’s able to even think about taking that step.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes cowgirl the most. It takes the pressure off of him to have to take the lead in your pleasure, he gets a great view of your body, and you’re able to maintain the pace. I think he’s also very turned on by doggy style, something about the view of your ass and the pleasure he’s able to deliver from this angle making it appealing to him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Anton makes jokes to cover up mistakes or moments where he feels extra nervous/awkward. Once he’s inside you though, he becomes so focused and overwhelmed that he couldn’t laugh even if he found something funny.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Most times, Anton can’t be bothered to groom himself. Once he has a sexual partner, he’ll start to become self-conscious and put more effort into shaving himself regularly. He honestly relies on his partner to tell him how they want him to look.

On his partner, he doesn’t care. I think he’s feels fortunate to even have access to pussy, so how it looks is irrelevant to him.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I think Anton is still working out what intimacy looks like for him. He doesn’t have the maturity or the sexual experience to know how intimacy should feel. It takes him a while to even feel comfortable having sex without overthinking his every word and movement. For him to get to the point where he’s accessing the emotions required for intimacy, he’d definitely need time and a lot of leadership from his partner.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I think he’s a little bit embarrassed about jacking off, but can’t help but feel called to do it anyway. He does it quite often as a way to let off sexual frustration. He’s motivated to masturbate after a particularly awkward interaction with a crush. If he doesn’t let off steam in this way, he’ll just be sent into a spiral of overthinking until he goes crazy.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Recording: Anton would be pleased if his partner agreed or initiated the recording of their sex. I think something about watching himself from outside of his body increases his confidence about how well he did. He’s able to consume it in the same way he would consume porn. I also think he’s more motivated to try harder when he knows it will be on video.

Mirror Sex: Similar to recording, there’s something about being able to see himself in action that increases his confidence and thus makes him try even harder. He likes seeing how he looks from your point of view and adjusting accordingly. Moreover, I could see him making little innocent observations about how you look in the mirror, saying things like, “Do you like watching yourself cry for me?” and “You look so pretty like this.”

Anal: Similar to what I said earlier about him wanting to come in your mouth, I think Anton is turned on by things that he views as slightly gross or forbidden. The idea of you letting him use your body in this way feels like the ultimate privilege. It feels like his birthday every time you tell him it’s okay for him to touch you there.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He’s a simple guy – the bedroom is comfortable, safe, and private.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He’s turned on by someone who takes care of themselves physically and puts in the effort to look good for him. Lingerie, perfume, and makeup are all things that make him feel giddy and excited at the thought of fucking you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I think he’s not attracted to women who are just as shy as him, simply because with him also being an introvert, you’re at a stalemate with no one there to take the lead. I also think he’d be opposed to inviting anyone else into the bedroom. He’s overwhelmed enough as it is with just the two of you. The last thing he needs is to have anyone else. Moreover, with him still trying to work through his own confidence about his sexual abilities, seeing someone else fuck you would just drain him of all life energy.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Anton really enjoys giving head. There is something comforting to him about being nuzzled between your legs and lapping at your wetness. He gets very turned on by giving head to the point of sometimes coming in his pants. He also can get carried away sometimes, overstimulating you and not realizing it until you have to push him off of you. He’ll be so confused and apologetic until you explain that the only reason you’re pulling away is because it was too good.

I honestly think Anton isn’t too partial to receiving head. He worries a lot about hurting you in the process, especially because he’s prone to unconsciously bucking into your mouth. Moreover, he feels the best when he’s able to make you feel good, and would prefer to spend his time inside of you than watching you suck him off.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s honestly all over the place when it comes to speed, one moment you’ll be riding him and he’ll tell you to go faster, and in the next moment, he gets overwhelmed and tells you to slow down. Over time, he gets better at developing patience and fucking you slower so that the sex will last longer. Once he makes you come, though, he loses all motivation to be slow and just starts rutting into you until he comes.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

With the way Anton struggles to control himself sometimes, sex is frequently quick, but he’s always motivated to go again if he feels like he could’ve done better. It’s too easy to convince him to have a quickie at home right before you go out somewhere – the temptation is too strong to resist.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Anton is sometimes gullible and easily persuaded, so I feel like he could be convinced into having sex somewhere risky. However, don’t expect him to be at his usual form because the anxiety of potentially getting caught will prevent him from doing his best. He’ll be jumpy and become alert at the smallest sounds. Be prepared for him to back out entirely. Risky sex with Anton will only be successful if the conditions are right. Even so, I think Anton enjoys the thrill of doing something he feels like he’s not supposed to do. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

As I’ve already alluded to, I think his excitement and nerves can cause him to come pretty quickly, especially in those early days of a sexual relationship where he’s still getting to know his partner’s body and what they need to feel satisfied. However, he likes to please above all else, so if he feels like he wasn’t good enough the first time, he’ll want to keep going for another round until he can feel satisfied knowing the sex was good for both of you. The longer you’re together and the better he gets, the less of a need there will be to go for rounds.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Anton is intimated at the thought of using toys. Sex is already overwhelming enough for him, so he doesn’t need any additional things to have to consider. Similarly, I think he would be wary about having toys used on him. He would be scared and embarrassed at his own potential to react whinily (probably not a word but oh well yk what I mean) in response to such external stimulation.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

It’s never in the forefront of Anton’s mind to tease, but I think he can be a tease in a way that’s accidental. Sometimes because he’s trying to savor the moment, he’ll move really slow in a way that is excruciating for you. When he’s at his most confident, he’ll start flying at the mouth a bit more, making some teasing observations about how fucked-out you look. Still, I don’t see him as ever being a person who would intentionally withhold pleasure from his partner.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not loud in his daily life so I doubt he would be loud in the bedroom. In fact, he can be silent for so long sometimes that it can almost be intimidating. When he experiences pleasure, I think he’s the type to bite his lips or form his mouth into a straight line, making a hmpph kind of noise or sighing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

It was Anton’s birthday, and at your lead, he had found himself sitting upright on the edge of the bed, a silk blindfold obscuring his vision. He could hear you finicking around in his nearby vicinity, the excitement of what was to come cause him to grow hard and stiff in his pants. He leaned back against the bed, awaiting you, relieved when he could feel the warmth of your presence. He heard you utter a tiny, “Ready?” before taking off the blindfold and revealing yourself in a matching, baby pink bra and panty set.

“Suprise,” you remarked casually, watching him chuckle a little as his eyes roamed your body. “Do you like it?” you asked, already knowing the answer as his hands reached out to hold your hips.

“I love it,” he replies, his eyes finally and almost regretfully leaving your body to find your face. “Is this my gift?” he asks with a hopeful smirk.

“Yes. You just have to unwrap it first,” you confirm, and then, as your eyes meet, you lean in to connect your lips in a kiss that starts off soft but becomes sordid as Anton builds his confidence with time.

In what feels relatively like only seconds, he has you completely naked and bent over the bed on all fours, his cock naked and pressed against your cunt with the knowledge that you’re on birth control. Just as he’s about to enter you, he pauses to reach for his phone. “Can I record this?”

“Of course, my love,” you permit, and with his phone on selfie camera and angled right in front of your face, you’re able to watch from the screen as Anton’s expression becomes intense and focused the moment he moves to push his cock inside of you.

Anton fucks into you purposefully, so big that it’s as if he’s digging into your stomach with each thrust. He takes occasional looks over at the phone that’s still actively recording you desperately taking his cock. He makes small adjustments each time he notices his image reflected on the phone screen, pulling your ass up higher or deepening your arch with the palm of his hand against your spine. When he observes your fucked out expression, he feels his lips twitch into a smirk as he remarks, “You fuck me so good. Look so hot bent over for me like this.”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I am a big dick Anton truther, there is something about his tall build combined with the way he carries himself that just suggests monster cock in all respects.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Anton has a decently high sex drive and is pretty shitty at hiding it when he’s in a relationship. Close to everything will cause him to pop a boner, and once he acknowledges it, it won’t go away until he comes.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Like I said earlier, he’ll only be comfortable relaxing once he’s able to confirm that you were pleasantly satisfied. Once that’s happened, he’ll be so relieved that he’ll fall asleep relatively easily.