#funny german phrase

[pinkinsect]

Heartwarming: Multicultural Couple Teaches Each Other About Suicide Baiting

[mellotronmkll]

He's so fucking funny

[nyoomfruits]

hi :) sorry for the weird question, but how "normal" it is for dutch people to learn/know german?

in italy you /have/ to study another foreign language in middle school beside english, and it's usually either french or spanish because they're the most similar (even though the majority of people tend to forget them later on) — I was curious if y'all had something similar?

and yes, the question comes from max speaking such good german it left me wondering if it may be a "dutch" thing and not just a "he's a polyglot" moment

no no this is an EXCELLENT question and i would love to answer it.

in the netherlands you have to do a ‘second’ language too, next to dutch and english, and here you can choose between either german or french. you get both of these at first before you have to choose in like the third or fourth year (differs per high school level) so most dutch people have at least SOME knowledge of both of these languages.

there’s actually a lot of german tourism in the netherlands which is why especially people in touristy area’s (big cities + places near water) speak german pretty fluently.

HOWEVER i’m pretty sure the reason max speaks german so well is because his parents spent a lot of time with the schumachers growing up?? or he might be a polyglot yeah. because let me tell you i had german for 6 years and i in no way speak it as fluently as that man does lmao

[ohpsshaw]

Practicing simple German dialogue! (Yes, I’ll take all the help I can get.)

I had to do SOMETHIN’ real quick when I found out about the New Year’s tradition of Bleigießen-- throwing molten lead into water and divining the future by interpreting shapes. Seems cute! I have no idea why we don’t do this in the states, apart from the whole “lead poisoning” thing.

The vibe I was going for:

FRITZ: I don’t like this tradition. It’s stupid and utterly unscientific. ZARIYA: Agreed. But check it out! A star! Or... a little man? Oh god, I hope I don’t get pregnant. ZARIYA: Seriously? A lizard? So... nothing’s going to change. Hm. FRITZ: Good.

[thatonebjp]

My brother and I's card game is very serious in tone, which is why today we made sure to give every faction in the game a removal card with a pun for a name

[hellsslibrary]

sub...Michael Kaiser...with male reader...please...I'm begging...

Just saw the latest chapter and him saying "please" made me simultaneously combust.

What if he says that word but on a completely different context, iykwim 👀👀👀👀

"In an ideal relationship, pure love and dirty sex complement each other, not exclude each other."

#a.n. : You can't imagine how much fun it was to write this, different sides of the dominant were fighting inside me, it was wild.

MASTERLIST is here.

!!Warnings: top!dom!male!reader, sub!bottom!Michael, brat taming, humiliation, light strangulation, dry orgasm, you dig Kaiser to the point of half death, reader breaks the bed and unironically fights Alexis for a place in the hotel with Michael by playing tic-tac-toe (mention, I thought it was funny), Kaiser is literally folded in half, one bite to his ankle and a slight mention of blood, three phrases in German (my half-German roots take over), riding.

It was obviously not a revelation to Kaiser why this had started. He had started to understand it the moment you almost fought Ness to share a hotel room with him. After all, you, as adults and completely mentally ill people, played tic-tac-toe and you beat Alexis. After all, he could survive a couple of nights not in a room with Michael, but you? Oh no, you had too big of a plan for him.

He had figured it out himself, as soon as he saw that you were actually focused on winning this stupid game and not playing for fun... But I guess he didn't understand what exactly was waiting for him. Although that's the best part.

"G-gott! Y/n, slow d-down! This is, oh shit, this is too mu-much!" came out unintelligibly from his lips, while he grabbed the sheets beneath him with all his might, his graceful fingers almost tearing apart the poor fabric that was holding on with all its might.

"Are you sure?" you clarify, knowing he won’t answer because he doesn’t want to, but he also doesn’t want to seem too needy.

And so he does. He stays silent, burying his face in the pillows and pushing his ass back a little more to somehow meet your ruthless thrusts that didn’t allow him to breathe properly.

You squeeze his hips, pressing lightly on his stomach under your fingers, causing him to whine loudly, even muffled by the cotton pillowcases. His toned ass jiggles slightly with each thrust, making you want to bite one of his cheeks right now, but oh, what a shame the human body can’t bend like that, huh?

Kaiser felt too good as you admired his ass and his bulging back without any other thought. He felt like his whole being was melting, turning into nothing more than obedient plasticine in your hands, which you could bend as you wish.

He bites his lip to hold back another moan. It seems like he can hear his heartbeat in every part of his body, no matter how unimportant or far from his head. It seems like his blood is so hot that he is about to melt... Not that it is not true, considering how sweaty you both have been for the last few dozen minutes.

"Aren't you going to answer me, handsome? Or do you want me to stop and leave you empty and thirsty, hm?" your whisper sends involuntary goosebumps down his body when he realizes that your chest is rubbing against his back and he makes some kind of sound similar to hiccups, turning his head to the side.

"Shut up."

The phrase made your hips freeze almost immediately, your eyebrow involuntarily crawling up at the fact that he had the strength to speak clearly, and also to act like a complete brat, when you were obviously lifting him to Heaven and back with your actions.

"Move, idiot. Why the hell did you stop?"

Your eye twitched and you took a deep breath, looking down at his frowning, flushed face. There were traces of moisture all over his face from tears and sweat mixed together, his lips were slightly swollen from holding back moans, but most importantly, his eyes. The shine in them. He knew what he was doing, or rather, what he was saying.

Before he could come to his senses, your lips spread into an almost animalistic smile and your cock completely slipped out of him. Kaiser was about to complain, but you abruptly flip him over onto his back, and then immediately, without warning, you penetrate inside.

His next moan was probably heard by everyone in the hotel, or at least on your floor. And all the following ones, too. He was no longer holding back, moaning at the top of his lungs. His hands were looking for something to grab onto and wanted to close around your shoulders, but you would not allow him such luxury, so you squeezed his palms above his head.

"What a pity. If you want to act like a little slut, then I will have to treat you like one," you lean right over his face, sliding out so that only your tip remains inside him, and then penetrate in the roughest way you can.

"Ohhh, ple-please... Ple-please, fuck, s-sir, I b-beg yo-you... P-please!"

He himself did not understand what he was begging for, while you just let out a chuckle from this. Michael could barely form any coherent words, he was just mumbling obvious nonsense now.

Your fingers squeezed the blond's leg at his knee, throwing one of his legs over your shoulder, practically folding him in half. He muttered something unintelligible, tears starting to flow from his closed eyes while his hands clenched into fists helplessly in your grip.

"What? You decided to fix yourself in a couple of seconds, handsome? That's not like you. My dick makes you drunk?" he would never admit that it did, but his head shook in agreement too convulsively.

You bite his ankle, digging into the white skin, causing him to cry out in pain, but he doesn't complain. He just stares excitedly at the small trickle of blood rolling down his leg. Your free hand, not holding his hand, falls on his neck.

And God, something clicks inside him. He cums, but nothing comes out, in that same second, although your hand did not have time to settle down and squeeze properly. You only look at the pathetic state of the German while he experiences a dry orgasm and how his cock twitches.

"What a pity... Although you are a smart boy. Even without realizing anything, you do not dare to cum for real without my permission..." Michael only moans in response, not being able to say anything anymore, especially now that you are blocking part of his air.

"Please, Y-y/n," he manages to mumble somehow, looking at you with empty, smoky eyes, hazed with a haze of lust, and you feel how he squeezes around your cock. Probably on purpose, but now you do not care.

"Please what, baby? You have to speak clearly," he frowns, looking away and staring at some tasteless painting on the wall, trying to pull some kind of speech out of his brain.

"Let me cum... Bitte, mein schatz," Kaiser whines, managing to somehow rise up, although it is clearly uncomfortable and even painful for him, given the position he is in, and kissing the corner of your lips, missing the main target. "Bitte lass mich abspritzen, lass mich auf deinen Schwanz abspritzen..."

You feel something break inside you. He looked beautiful and didn't even seem embarrassed as usual by his obvious vulnerability and the state of some kind of toy in your hands. In the end, he even found the strength to kiss you and didn't even wince at the fact that he literally bent in half for a couple of seconds. Well, how can you not spoil such a boy, right?

His head falls back, he sighs raggedly when you begin to pound him with the maximum speed and roughness you can muster right now. The bed beneath you creaks pitifully, as does Kaiser himself, not expecting such pressure.

"Dann komm, Hübscher," your words send him over the edge immediately, squeezing your cock as if in a vice.

He paints your and his stomach white, cumming surprisingly much. And he doesn't react at all when you continue your thrusts with a same force, only small sighs escaping from his lips.

But then he screams and something cracks under you. You manage to catch him and throw his leg aside carefully but quickly, and press him to your chest.

"You... Managed to break the bed? Wow, new even for you," Michael mutters, watching the mattress and sheets sag in the hole in the bed, chuckling hoarsely and weakly hugging your shoulders now that he has this opportunity.

"I'll ask to change the room and pay for the bed... I don't even want to imagine the face of the girl at the reception, but..." You look up at the blond, who is now sitting on your lap and thoughtfully narrow your gaze.

"Ride you? Good," he understands what is needed, feeling that you have not yet finished and managed to twitch inside him even at such a moment. "You can't be trusted with the pace anymore, you're too wild... Next time we're in hotels, I'll ride you."

"Fair and sweet, I'm more than willing," he starts moving his hips, moaning with every movement, still sensitive from his orgasm, trying not to go too fast so you both don't fall off the bed... Until the broken part of the bed falls to the floor, causing a huge noise, but hey, you're facing the ace of German youth football, who cares? Especially one so rarely vulnerable and caring like this.

[spoopup]

said this on my twitter a while ago but a funny scenario im thinking about again: klavier as apollo’s co-counsel for a case and klavier has to pretend he’s Not Klavier but he’s really bad at it. not wearing the best disguise and when the judge asks for his name he panics and says something stupid like Caviar Garrett, but still no one figures it out. apollo makes it a rule he can’t use any german phrases or do any air guitars so no one realises it’s him and it physically pains klavier to say Yes instead of Ja

[xomoosexo]

I'm watching the sam ant vod. sam asked any what animal he would be and ant said a big dog, but not as much like a golden retriever more like a german shepherd. sam then asked what animal each of the manhunt boys is, and ant immediately said that sapnap was a peacock 😭 and sam immediately agreed😭 they had a hard time coming up with one for bad but they agreed maybe a ferret. chat said dream was a dog and sam said that he understands why chat would think that, and that dream is like a golden retriever in how hes scatterbrained, but he isnt sure about full dog. ant said that george is a parrot because of how he says the same thing over and over😭 sam laughed and said george is the king of "using the same bit over and over when it's completely dead"😭😭😭 and "he'll say a phrase he thinks is funny one time and if it gets a single laugh, congrats. it's over. that phrase is being used infinite now." sam says his mind goes to cat for ant obviously but he isn't sure if he actually gives cat.

[bectoshi]

iwaizumi hajime, big ol’ nature fan.

i hc him as a pretty outdoorsy guy. he likes hiking and he loves camping.

i just know he’s a loyal patagonia and lululemon customer. reading every single one of their promotional emails and snagging those sale items. 

always suggests hiking as the team’s team bonding activity. always gets rejected by everyone else. (it’s because the last time they all went hiking as a team, he complained that they were all too slow. he got fed up and went ahead of everyone. they got lost, they blamed him).

camping with him would be a dream!!! builds the tent for you, chops up firewood, sets up the hammocks, etc. he says that it’s because you shouldn’t have to lift a finger, but you both know that he does it because he is a CONTROL FREAK! about his camping gear. 

always on the prowl (that phrase is so funny) for good camping spots. his requirements: body of water nearby. that’s all. 

HAS A PADDLEBOARD!!! i definitelyyy see this being a thing. would take you on lake dates where he paddles you around on it while you read!! would also include his dog on it next to u!

he’s such a dog person btw. into big dogs. i'm thinking dobermans, german shepherds, labradors! he’d want a dog that he could take on long walks and runs. 

SPEAKING OF DOGS I KNOW THIS IS OFF TOPIC FROM THE NATURE HCS BUT I CAN’T STOP so as an athletic trainer (🤓☝️) he would care very much about his dog’s nutrition. researches raw diets and gets high quality things to add to their meals. very dogfather!iwa. 

back to nature. when you go to the beach together and you’re tanning, he’d be digging holes, trying to catch fish, making you play fetch with him, and jumping over waves. guy cannot sit still. eventually you feel bad and let him drag you to the water.

OH and i feel like he would tan so easily?? always outside so it makes sense. always a few shades darker by the end of summer. #needthat.

always finds cool things on his little nature day trips. molted feathers from rare birds, shark teeth, animal footprints, seaglass, you name it. if he’s able to, he brings his treasures home to gift to you like a crow. one day he brings you a rock that perfectly matches your eyes, another day it’s one that matches your hair. 

and lastly, is so good at skipping rocks. gatekeeps his strategy from you (spoiler: there is no strategy, he also doesn't know how he does it).

[mockerycrow]

hii! i love the way you describe the 141 so far, and i would love to see how you would write an konig, ghost, soap, price and alejandro reaction and headcanons with a s/o who has an accent?

i taught myself english from a young age so i never really had someone to practice with, so my accent is very strong (im from south america, which also helps lol) and i would like to see how the cod boys can react to this in your style <33

Reader With An Accent - MWII

GIF BY: @collinnmckinley - masterlist

A/N: thank you so much for your patience and thank you for liking my writing!! please let me know if i executed this right!! i am american and i don’t want to misrepresent. also this is lowkey coded for people w/ accents from non-english speaking countries, so sorry everyone who is from a english speaking country and has an accent oops — i also kinda took your “i taught myself english from a young age” for alejandro’s chunk. hope that’s ok!

König

König wouldn’t react to your accent very much, unless it’s a very thick accent because then he would have trouble understanding you.

If your accent is thick, he probably asks you repeat yourself a couple of times; English isn’t his first language either, so I can imagine maybe a couple of times you both sit there in silence with each other because neither of you guys can understand each other. He has a semi-thick accent, too.

Sometimes, he does understand you but he just wants to hear you continue to talk.

Maybe König and you practice English together, while teaching each other your native languages on accident. You guys didn’t mean to, but you end up trying to explain what a word is in your different languages and by the end of it, you begin to understand full sentences in german; the same for him with your language.

He considers this a bonding experience :)

Ghost

Like König, he probably wouldn’t react to your accent too much unless it was incredibly thick. Ghost has met all different types of people and his native language is English, so he has a better understanding of what you’re trying to say, but he pokes fun at you like he pokes fun at Soap.

On the topic of Soap, you two together is his worst nightmare.

“Speak English.” Is his favorite phrase when you are speaking English, but your accent is just overpowering literally everything.

You like to throw his words back into his face when he says some sort of British slang—you get a surprisingly loud chuckle out of him when you pick up some of his slang. He thinks it’s funny whenever anyone who isn’t British begins to talk like him.

If Ghost isn’t already fluent in your language, he pretty much becomes damn near fluent by the time you’ve known him for a good couple of months. He picks this stuff up easily.

Soap

Oh, this would be actual hell on Earth. Not for you two, but for the others.

Soap doesn’t comment on your accent initially, but you two begin to share a brain cell and a half (on accident) when Ghost’s eyes show visible frustration.

“He can barely understand me, the two of’us will be a real party trick!”

You and Soap gang up on everyone else if your accent is thick. He understands the frustration of people not understanding you.

Sometimes it takes Soap a moment to process what you’re saying, but he only asks you to repeat yourself a couple of times. (He has a good method of deciphering words, even if he cannot understand through an accent).

Soap likes to teach you his Scot phrases and you teach him your own in return.

Price

He gives you an eyebrow raise as a reaction, but that’s about it. Price has worked with so many people all over the world, he doesn’t really care to comment on your accent.

Price has gotten pretty good at understanding thick accents through the years, so he probably only asks you to slow your speaking when giving him a verbal report about something.

Price 100% is the type to accidentally pronounce something wrong but say it with full confidence and you always correct him, leaving him dumbfounded.

“My lips just don’t move that way, love.”

It’s likely he’s fluent in your language so he doesn’t mind if you talk to him in it; just give him a few seconds to translate in his head, okay?

Alejandro

If you meet outside of a total progressional setting, he probably has the most reaction to your accent out of anyone.

Alejandro’s language is a very big part of him so he assumes it’s the same for anyone else.

Alejandro doesn’t have an incredibly thick accent, but he knows people who do and he’s known them for years, so it’s easier for him to understand than a lot of other people.

If you taught yourself English and you end up pronouncing something wrong, Alejandro casually corrects you to help you out. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it either, he knows sometimes people get embarrassed from it. His first language isn’t English either, so he understands the struggle.

He DOES start laughing if you try to pronounce something that you so clearly cannot, even after being corrected.

[spacelazarwolf]

also another thing abt that stupid “jews are not an ethnic group they’re not foreigners they’re german/french/syrian/etc.” (other than the fact it erases several thousand years of persecution based solely on the fact we were seen and treated as unwanted foreigners, including not only times within living memory but also as recent as two years ago) is that it asserts that jews should be loyal to the nation they live in above all else, including our connection to other communities of jews. which is funny bc in the same post the op talks abt dismantling nation states, so i’d like to know what exactly it is we’re supposed to be loyal to, but it’s also disturbing bc it reasserts the idea that any jew who feels a sense of loyalty to jews outside of their own immediate community cannot be trusted, that they’re trying to fabricate a connection in order to maintain some sort of power through international connections to other jewish communities. could have sworn there was a phrase for that.

[purgaytorysupremacy]

update: he emailed being self-flagellating and then went on a rant about being conflict-adverse during class when we were talking about virtue theory as an example of a virtue he wishes he could cultivate and I had to just be like never-fucking-mind, man.

I know people say “just let people misunderstand you” and “be yourself! don’t care about what people think about you!” but have they actually sat in a room with people who can’t stand you and aren’t shy about it and how that makes you feel like an infinitesimally small dust mote on the wind???

[hearts4kaulitz]

BILL HCS .

nsfw hcs will only be for afab readers

SFW ,

he loves to do your eyeliner. he will literally sit in your lap for hours just to give you the ‘perfect’ liner.

when he first met you, you like BLINDED him with your attractiveness like it felt like a blur when he was first round you just because your so cute.

he teaches you german phrases if you ask some might be dirty

smoke n drinking sessions together. sometimes you can guess what kind of cigarettes he’s smokes, same for alcohol

most of ur smoking and drinking sessions end it makeouts… or more

bill wakes up super early, if your not an early bird he loves to play with your hair or just watch you rest.

y’all probably have a shirt you both share, it probably says “whore working” on it or something like that…

he’s worn your bras before, he kept playing with the cup part like he was a toddler.

NSFW ,

he whimpers if he’s into it enough

absolutely LOVES to go down on you. he loves to grab your thighs while he eats you out

he’ll cut his nails one he has the feeling y’all r gonna do ‘it’ cause he doesn’t wanna hurt you

if you ask, he’d praise you but i dont think he’d have the heart to degrade you. he wouldn’t want you to think less of yourself.

PLEASE pull his hair, it encourages him like hell

cause his torso is so long you love to kiss down to it before sucking him off…

he would take notes of where your sensitive parts are so he could use them to make you get all riled up

he loves when his or your eyeliner gets messed up during it, it makes him feel proud for some reason

he’s not that vocal he really just groans alot but like i said he would whimper if hes really into it.

if you ever had those smoke or drinking sessions late at night it mostly likely turns into yall just fucking like animals until dawn..

its so funny when he takes his pants off in a rush and nearly trips cause their so tight.

absolutely LOVES when you put on his shirts afterwards.

[bad-traffic-smp-ideas]

I want to see Doc, Keralis, and/or Iskall added to the life series specifically because I want to see what happens when they're so freaked out they forget English entirely. Like the boogeyman ambushes them and they either start yelling in their native language or just. screaming.

Or Xisuma. I think he'd be funny in the life series. Kind of like a mix between a therapist and soggy wet cat.

Everyone else's search history is things like "angry shouting german help?" "german phrases to calm down angry german man??" "help too much german??!?"

[dirtyzucchini]

I was chatting with @sammags and @syrupmap about Frannie's German Suitor from Dead Men Don't Throw Rice earlier (have you noticed he bears an uncanny resemblance to Canadian actor Paul Gross?), and the question came up: "Zucchini, how is that guy's German?" and the answer was, of course: "ATROCIOUS, thank you!"

So, let me count you the ways in which those lines at the end of the episode are clearly supposed to be German, but were not influenced by anyone who has anything more than a passing acquaintance with the language!

Line number one:

What they're trying to say:

Their German translation and why it's garbage:

"Da komm ich nicht drauf was ich sagen."

This first line is almost a sentence, only it's missing a part, it means something else than they think it does AND it's just not something anyone would say. "Da komm ich nicht drauf was ich sagen" is like… if someone said it to me I would think I knew what he meant, but I would also think he used a bad translation app or something. Unfortunately, what I would think he meant would be "I have no idea what I'm supposed to say", which the astute reader will agree is NOT what they where going for here. A good translation would have been "Ich verstehe kein Wort", a more direct but not quite idiomatic translation would have been "Ich habe keine Ahnung, was du sagst", but neither of those happened. Aside from that, his pronounciation is... not horrific, but he would not be mistaken for a native speaker.

Line number two:

What they're trying to say:

Their German translation and why it's garbage:

His pronounciation of the first half of that sentence is so bad that I can't for the life of me make out what they're trying to say. Listened to it twenty times at least, can't do it. The second half ("Ich kann keine Englisch") is almost correct - it should be 'kein' instead of 'keine' - but it doesn't sound great. While it is idiomatic, a closer and still perfectly normal translation of their line would have been: "Ich spreche kein Wort Englisch."

Line number three:

What they're trying to say:

Their German translation and why it's garbage:

"Sie Chicago-Mädchen sind merkwürdige." Oh boy, where do I even start? A native speaker would probably phrase it as "Chicago-Mädels sind komisch" but only because the construction we would normally use only works on place names ending in a consonant. For, say, Berlin we would say "Berlinerinnen sind komisch", but 'Chicagoerinnen' is impossible to say somehow. So normally the word 'girls' would not appear in the German version of the sentence, but we would likely make an exception for Chicago. We would not say Mädchen because it mostly refers to children and teenagers; Mädels is the word to go for when then girls in question are adults. Then there's the thing about "Sie" - while that's one way to translate 'you', it's the word used in direct formal address of a single person, so it's right out in this case. A fairly direct, but not quite idiomatic translation could be "Ihr Chicago-Mädels seid merkwürdig", only no one uses merkwürdig like that. Last not least, his pronounciation is not great here either.

Line number four:

What they're trying to say:

Their translation and why it's garbage fine actually:

"Ich muss jetzt gehen" - solid translation, solid delivery. While he doesn't sound like a native speaker, he definitely sounds like a guy who's been learning German for a while.

BONUS:

This made me laugh because he said it in English and they put the German in the caption. Solid translation again!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk! In conclusion: these lines were written by a bunch of people who took German in school for a year, then pooled their vague memories to create this. It's weird and funny and I love it, actually!

[rainia]

watching hugo’s vod is so funny because it keeps translating “geil” as “horny” much to Hugo’s dismay 😭😭 in german slang saying something is “geil” basically means it’s cool/awesome, but in the past the word was used for horny. Now it’s kinda how you’d say in English “that fucks”: everyone knows you mean “it’s cool”, and not the sexual implication of the phrase. Which is why geil is being mistranslated all the time lmaooo