#funny caterpillar dude

[snowzing1]

Maybe one day I'll finish this but today is not that day lol

Characters are from the funky Welcome Home arg thing-y

Audio is from My Friendly Neighborhood.

From the little tiny jumping puppets. Literally the best puppets in the game. I love their voice lines

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH38

Rip to these promising mages. I assume they will not survive this massacre.

IS that where her lungs and kidneys are? Because like. She's huge. Her entire body is behind her. Do you really think she'd keep her vital organs in the little human bulb on the front?

I mean, he has a point. What are you going to do? Fight off more hoardes of dragons?

oh noooo, Kabru.... too bad. That's so unfortunate.... anyway.

It's curious that Laios only got knocked away. He was just as likely to have had his head squished like a grape.

Guys, this is absolutely not the time to be concerned for her privacy.

Yes, queen. Free the tiddy. Murder everyone in this dungeon. I support women's rights and women's wrongs.

.......that's. One way to do that. I guess.

.......what's that rock about.

Oh, I see. That's convenient.

This guy dungeons! Maybe he even dragons.

So we got north (tallmen? dwarves?) and then the easterners.... and now the elves of the west?

He's going to give her to the Americans?! ಠ_ಠ

To be fair, at least they HAD a plan. And they executed it. It's more than you did. I don't mean to point fingers but... at least they... ya know... did something.

Kabru's like 'no, no, hang on, I need to hear what batshit fucked up thing this dude is going to say next, this is important'

Laios is so stressed he broke character.

Then again, maybe it's healthy to let them slug it out a bit. Get it out of their system.

It's true. They wore fitbits and everything.

...hey, hold on a second.

Now hold on a minute.

Damn, this is. Kind of even worse because. I guess I could have guessed that Toshi was just pretending to be polite, like you do. Cultural differences.

But the painful thing is, Laios doesn't seem surprised. He just seems resigned. He's been told before that he's difficult to get along with. To the extent that he doesn't even consider Marcille and Chillchuck his friends? Even though they arguably both care about him? But because Toshiro didn't bother to be deadpan about him being a bit odd at times, Laios thought it meant that was fine.

And that kinda hurts. Like damn. Laios just wanted to make a true connection. And I can't really blame Toshiro either, he was just trying to keep the peace but. Damn.

Free her! Let her do her illegal magics! She deserves it! （︶^︶）

Thoughts:

Senshi just being annoyed about that one last harpy looking for scraps.... like "shoo, this ain't the time"

That gnome seems genuinely nice. I'm sorry Falin squished his pet undyne.

Kabru hugging his..... mage? Girlfriend???? Seems very...one sided. Kinda feel bad for her.

Laios and Toshiro still going at it, I see. Get it allout, boys.

Uhhhhhhhhhh ninja girls.

Aww, doggo.

Last question: Where did the cat go?

Senshi: I can fix that.

Are you all worried because he's finally making sense?!?!

Laios and he punched their singular braincells into several new ones, it seems.

F./....Falin... please give the caterpillar some privacy........

My man, maybe lead with that............

I can't believe Marcille was potentially more forward about her feelings.......

"his pupils are dilated" yes, thank you sherlock. You've finally realized what everyone else who meets Laios feels almost immediately. he's a monster freak club card carrying member. Welcome.

p.....pubby......

As long as he was also inside the dungeon with them.... yes.

The issue with Kabru isn't that he isn't trying his best. It's that Laios isn't trying at all.

On a scale of one to Kabru, how badly do you react to being offered a food you don't want to eat?

......oh no. He's so pathetic it's funny. He's growing on me.

Absolute morons, the pair of them. Immovable object meets unstoppable force. The funniest combination ever. Ghost type and normal type pokemon, forever throwing moves at each other that will never hit. Laios thinking he's made a friend. Kabru just barely stopping himself from killing Laios. Best comedy pair. Tom and Jerry in a can.

Anyway. What a great manga.

[blackstarchanx3new]

DarkBlue ramble

ramble about today's update and Darkblue in genreal because I love them so much X'D

So Blue is 100% right in the fact Dark can just peek into his head to see what he feels about Dark. So Dark asking him up front is kinda "meaningless".

Blue and Dark are both ALREADY blushing before Blue says anything.

Dark is very much aware of Blue's feelings toward him.

But Blue is...Blue lmfao He's loud rude and can't deal with his own emotions.

Which is why when he ACTUALLY acknowledges he thinks Dark is "Cute" of all things (When the rant Dark went on doesn't have to do with that at all) is really funny to me/telling.

Because it's less that Blue thinks Dark is PHYSICALLY cute (I mean he does haha) but also cute in general.

Like THIS is the dude he's calling cute hahaha. (Just SOME of the weird ass faces Dark has made just aimed at Blue lmfao)

I think what's funny about Blue ending up at calling Dark "Cute" is you can take it a few ways.

Blue KNOWS Dark knows what he thinks. So trying to hide his affection towards him at this point is basically meaningless.

He can't deny the truth.

But you can tell from Dark's reaction he wasn't expecting Blue to go with THAT as his answer. He expected something diffrent.

Dark's response back is even funnier to me because it's more classic "Dark Link is super blunt" which is always funny to me.

He doesn't mess with Blue or tease him in response to him opening up about this feelings. (At least not on purpose haha)

Blue's clearly happy Dark thinks that about him.

Since Dark's previously called him "difficult" among other things haha.

They've come a long way since they first fought. XD

He comes off as teasing in page 961 since he honestly asked whether or not he should give Blue more than one kiss but Blue's response propelled him into kinda cheekily responding with "Haha I can read your thoughts, but can't read mine?"

Blue. Ya should have just said your caterpillars needed kisses bro. Dark was offering smh. 😔

It's OBVIOUS he likes em now if he's offering to kiss em you dope!!!

Anyway here's some dumb rambles about why I like Darkblue's dynamic because hur dee dur I've kept this in awhile

Something I enjoy about them compared to Blue and Red is that...well Dark Link doesn't pretend to be incapable.

Blue gets annoyed MANY times with how Red isn't that skilled of a fighter and ends up in deep shit because he's either not taking stuff seriously or is acting like an idiot.

Their FIRST meeting for Dark and Blue was that fight. Which Blue fucking started lmfao.

And Dark absolutely mopped the floor with him.

Dark in general is capable of handling his own shit and can be serious when it's asked for.

He actually understands Blue on an emotional level while the others tend to just get annoyed with how Blue acts. (Reasonably so dude's annoying lmfao XD)

But Dark offers understanding.

This is personally funny to me but Blue getting easily flustered around Dark in some part stems from the fact Dark's voice is very feminine and soft spoken.

I just personally think with the manga there's enough evidence to say Blue gets flustered around girls somewhat easily XD

What's really funny about the current convo is you could compare it to their previous one where Blue visited Dark in the headspace to ask if he was really "Difficult".

Dark was so dang happy to see him too haha.

Dark in general feels safe with Blue.

This is just one of those things Blue thinks about later in the comic, but even though Dark is ANGRY (Because of his own spiraling about his identity) he still saves Blue from Vaati's attack.

Blue's the one who not only convinced Dark to stay but asks him up front what HE actually wants out of life and pushes for Dark to live for himself a few times.

Lmao the second panel's "Compliment" might not seem like one but from a guy like Blue it absolutely is XD

Lol it's been brought up a few times that the reason Blue's been more laid back (Compared to the manga) is his guilt for hurting people and in general wanting to be a better person.

And Dark calling him out in their fight really made that a turn around for him.

Blue kinda at a certain point realized Dark tends to say stuff he doesn't fully mean (Due to his nature as a curse) So stops taking it THAT personally and defuses.

He explains it pretty well here lmfao.

What's better to me is that the reigning of each other in isn't one sided since when Blue's tweaking the fuck out after Vio pisses him off Dark's the one to ask him gently if he needs a break and consoles him while he just has a fit lmfao.

Overall I just really think they pair well together for their own arcs and bounce off each other well and I love them so much haha.

[buttfrovski]

i am losing my fucking mind i'm going to go fucking insane they're such funny lookin dudes. what little freaks. absolute zygotes. why are u so bitty, itty? what the fuck is wrong with u? u look like the hungry caterpillars next snack u are so berry shaped. like an acorn. stupid fucking acorns. maybe u should like.. grow perhaps. like u look like the ref mistakes u for the ball at the peewee soccer games.

[skullcfusher]

Ok guys I tried 2 hold back but too bad I'm posting headcanons🙌

I am going to tell u about Kate and Toby cause I love them ok. They are soooo sibling guys plz they play fight like hell and argue like siblings and they do shit for each other like siblings ok I DON'T MAKE THE RULES (I did actually.)

So with the small stupid comic I posted yesterday if u can even call it that, I think Tim owns this truck right and it's a beat up 2 seater ok and Tim drives and Brian is the passenger princess and then Toby and Kate are the two freaks who have to sit in the actual truck bed and they are actually so funny back there. I think Toby is actually a smart guy he just doesn't show it well okay because look at him, and Kate didn't even finish middle school cause she was RLLY young when slender got to her and so she's just actually not the sharpest tool in the shed okay she's a creature and I like to think Toby teaches her stuff so like imagine they are in the truck bed ok "Kate.. Kate.. Kate dude.." "Toby shh.. shut tf up" "no Kate dude look.. look at that caterpillar it's really cool it's actual-" "I don't care about that Toby shut up" and he's like "Ohhh okay so god forbid I try to teach you smth." And she's like "Shut up before I push you out of the truck" and he's like "Omfg fine good maybe I'll die this time and you'll be stuck doing a mission with Tim and Brian ALONE you freak" and they just continue to bicker. Tim and Brian don't really like Kate they think she's a monster and don't like her cause in my mind she's the person who tormented them and brought them to Slender's doorstep basically and so they just rlly don't like her LMFAO and I don't blame them either but Kate doesn't really talk to people until Mr. Tobias comes around ok like she lives in those dirty ass mines and hasn't changed her clothes like ever ok so Toby shows up and is like damn bitch you live like this!?? And he immediately starts giving her stuff like clothes he can't fit anymore, maybe a mattress and lots of food and just random shit to do, he convinces her to come around to the proxy cabin more and more and smth I thought would be funny is if Tim and Brian come home from whatever and they just see Kate munchin on a sandwich like it's the best shit she's ever had in her life (it probably is) and Toby is just chillin with her and Tim and Brian are like "what the fuck get out?? Why is she here??" And Toby is like "Dude relaaaax she's not even doing anything" and Kate gives ZERO fucks LMFAO SHE'S LOVING THAT SANDWICH SOO MUCH SHE DOESN'T CARE WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HER LMFAO. Following proxy shenanigans I like to think Kate and Toby wrestle a lot, you can't put a boy who can't feel pain and a really strong girl next to each other and be best friends and them not fuckin duke it out ok I like to think Nina visits the cabin one day and she opens the door and sees Toby fly over the couch and watch Kate jump after him and they are Rollin around on the ground fighting and Nina is like freaking out "OH MY GOD R U GUYS OK IS THIS THE VIOLENT SLENDER SICKNESS Y'ALL TALK AB" and they stop and look at her like ??? Huh CAUSE TO THEM THEY ARE JUST PLAYIN (I don't blame Nina either like Toby's bleeding from his nose and Kate has a busted lip LMFAOA and they've got like scratches all over)

Ok so I wanna touch on angst cause it's not head cannons unless we're kinda sad actually so like Slender def punishes his proxies ok like when they do smth wrong like fuckin up a mission or like commiting friendly fire on another proxy, so when Kate gets punished I like to think Toby will sit with her and hold onto her while she's freaking out cause it's not just like ohh she's kinda sick no like her fingernails tore off from her tearing at the ground she's screaming until her vocal cords can't make anymore noise she's losing it and Toby sits with her like if she just needs smth to lean on, if she needs something to grab or even something to hurt he's holding onto her like she's gonna die like he already lost one sister ok he's not losing this one too LMFAO and then after it passes I like to think he bandages up her hands, similar to how Toby's mom used to bandage his hands after he chewed his skin off yk?? Ok that's all for this post perhaps goodnight fellas

[thescaryhyperfem]

"I craved you for so long"

My own little SCP-106 (Lawrence) x SCP-913 (Mr. Hungry) fanfic hah i hope you guys like it

note: i made this at midnight, sorry if its bad

—

1941, two closeted young gay men in the US lived together in a small apartment. Things were tough since the US joined WW2, as one of the men had been forced to going to the war. The lad was in his bedroom, getting ready to go, his worried boyfriend next to him.

"Larry, please tell me you're going to be okay..." His boyfriend said.

"I really don't know, maybe I'll end up to the paleontologists to find my bones." Larry replies, chuckling a bit. His humor was a bit crude.

"Don't say that!" The boyfriend replied, exasperated. He sighs, wiping sweat off his forehead.

"I'm just joking, honeybuns." Larry said, smiling with a snarky attitude towards his lover.

"This is no laughing matter, you idiot. You know going to the war isn't a funny thing, especially because there's a chance of you dying!" The boyfriend said, standing back up and grabbing him by the uniform.

"You're overthinking. Of course I'm not going to die... I cannot die!" Larry laughs, holding his hands.

"Honey, you are not God." The boyfriend said, grasping his hands.

"But you treat me like one." Larry says, smirking.

"...Whatever, just... Just be safe, okay? I don't want to see your name in a grave." The boyfriend said, kissing him on the lips.

"I will, my love. I will." Larry replies. "By the way, before I go... I made you a batch of sandwiches in the kitchen..."

Then, a sudden knock is heard at the front door. It's time to go. Larry walks downstairs, his boyfriend giving him a last kiss on the cheek.

"Please, stay safe, Larry..."

—

80 years or so later, a man stands in what seems to be a metallic cube. He uses his fingers to draw on the walls of the cube, as his body was covered in some weird, corrosive liquid. He wasn't a human of any sorts, this was SCP-106, 'The Old Man'. He was bored out, it seems, he was just yawning and doodling... Until sirens started to blare. A man started to talk into an intercom.

"SCP-913 has escaped his containment cell! Refrain interacting physically with the anomaly until it is fully fulfilled! I repeat, do NOT interact with the anomaly physically until it is fully fulfilled!"

Great... Another containment breach, coming from an unexpected anomaly, a dude who just eats, eats and feasts... SCP-106 decides to commit some tomfoolery, as he does not follow whatever rules the higher ups set for him. He easily passes through the walls, jumps to the floor and makes his way up the stairs of his containment. He started to melt everything with his liquid, step by step, it all went away with his touch.

He walks down the foundation's hallways, people take notice of him. The same man in the intercom starts to blare again, it just made SCP-106 laugh.

"These big pussies can't handle shit... Now where's that guy..."

SCP-106 kept walking down the hallways, on the search of SCP-913. Meanwhile, SCP-913 was munching down entire tables in the cafeteria, straight up plastic and metal. It was fascinating and terrifying. Personnel and others in there started to run away from there, they didn't want to be eaten too after all, yet some unfortunate souls were too late. SCP-913 had a blank face the whole time, yet maniac eyes were apparent.

The screams of the personnel were enough to attract SCP-106 to the scene. He walked through a wall, right behind a shotgun-armed man, who screeched like a little girl when he realized what was behind him. SCP-106 laughed sadistically, and came in the room, leaving a corrosive mark in the wall. Although he could, he did not harm anyone, he was focused on the man who ate another table.

"Well, well, well... What do we have here? A hungry caterpillar?" SCP-106 asked the man, 10 feet away from him.

"SCP-106, do not approach the anomaly in front of you!" The man in the intercom spoke again.

"Wow, you think im a scaredy kitten? You think I, SCP-106, AM SCARED, OF A MAN-EATING MA—"

Before SCP-106 could finish his sentence, SCP-913 grabbed his hand and bit his finger. He was not affected by the corrosive liquid, shockingly enough, but the bite hurt a lot.

"OWW! What the hell, man?!" SCP-106 steps away, his fingers quickly regenerating. "Who do you think you are?!"

SCP-913 started munching on the fingers... But, suddenly, he looked up at SCP-106, with rather shocked eyes.

"...You taste so... Familiar..." SCP-913 says. "...Sandwiches..."

"What... What is that even supposed to mean, you fuckin' lunatic?!" SCP-106 was not amused.

"...You..." SCP-913's eyes suddenly became wide, his blank face became a mouth drop, a bit of corrosive liquid comes out of his mouth. It seemed like the effects of the liquid were acting, which made SCP-106 laugh for a second, but that wasn't the case.

"...L-... Lawrence?" SCP-913 blurts out in a moment of shock. SCP-106's eyebrows go up, in confusion.

"...How the hell do you know my name?!" SCP-106, now Lawrence, is now exasperated. This interaction was getting into his nerves.

SCP-913 suddenly holds Lawrence's face. "Larry... Larry it's you..?"

Lawrence, now Larry, was more confused, even if things were becoming clearer. "How... How do you know my nickname?! Only my partner called me... Huh..?!"

Larry slowly started to realize what was going on, but refused to believe it. "You... No. No, this can't be..."

"Larry, please... It's me..." SCP-913's hunger frenzy was now gone, replaced by held back tears and shocked feelings. "Oh my God, you're alive... You're alive, you bastard... I missed you so damn much..." SCP-913 touched Larry's face all over, to see if it wasn't all just too good to be true.

Larry just fell into his touches, he was also in shock. The sadistic anomaly suddenly fell into tears, and hugged the other anomaly. Personnel around them just watched in shock, a scene that's never been seen, a dangerous yet emotional re-encounter. The two broke the hug after what seemed like eternity, and just stared at each other.

"...I can't believe you survived for this long, you bastard... I craved you for so long..." Said SCP-913 smiling and wiping away his tears.

"I can't believe either, you even kept your old, weird eating sprees..." SCP-106 laughs, and so does SCP-913. "Shut up... Shut up..."

SCP-106 and SCP-913 walk out the cafeteria together, arms wrapped around each other's shoulders, laughing and eventually, kissing one more time after so long.

The man in the intercom speaks again, sounding like he's holding back tears. "SCP-106 and SCP-913... Have been successfully bonded and contained once again..." He said.

The End

[blusilurus]

If you could cast your character's as in Alice in wonderland for funsies, who would be who

(Not every every single little character, just your main ones that everyone knows like alice, the cheshire cat, the rabbit, hatter, queen, etc!)

Alice- Shea

Cheshire Cat- Akumu

Rabbit- Joji

Hatter- Daichi

Queen- Norah

Caterpillar- Jaime

I had to bounce this off my friends bc they help me with silly AU stuff sometimes but THIS basically chosen with a mix of old DS lore or vibes and as all Gen3 characters! This is a funny time to mention I vaguely remember reading a old Alice in Wonderland inspired manga thing the Chesire Cat dude had a ton of chains and a crop top with a fluffy thing LMAO

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Alternate AU: Remembrance

The BPS is still recovering from the disappearances of two of their members, even as the two year anniversary passes. However, it seems that things may be starting to look up as a potential new member shows up.

Notes: this is around 4’867 words, and it’s about the BPS. The funny guys. Don’t know what else to write here so. Hope you enjoy :)

—————

February 14th, 2000

“You sure we’re rolling?”

“Duh. I know how to use a camera, I’m not stupid.”

The television’s screen flickered as the tape rolled, the light reflecting off of Seth’s tired eyes. The TV was the only source of light in the room aside from the faint warm light coming from the crack under the door. Seth was sitting on the floor, his arms crossed on top of his knees, which were huddled next to his chest. He had a dull frown on his face, his expression haggard and blank as he continued to watch the camcorder footage.

“Well. Here we are.” One of the men in the footage stated, gesturing around him with a smile. He was a young looking man with tan skin and dyed silver hair, wearing a grey sweatshirt and leather jacket. He appeared to be in an abandoned theme park, its rides rusted from years of disrepair, and riddled with weeds and overgrown plants. “This is…uh…Adam, where are we again?”

“You forgot the name already?” Adam questioned with a scoff from behind the camera. “Jonah, it’s not that hard to remember.”

“Dude.” Jonah glared at him, his arms falling to his sides.

“Fantasy Park.” Adam responded.

“…Thank you.” Jonah stated, turning around to look towards the rest of the park from the entrance where they stood. “Okay…so, from what I remember…this place was trying to be like…its own Disney Land, and opened like 30 years ago or something, before being abandoned due to the company going bankrupt because no one wanted to come here. Right?” He looked towards Adam for approval.

“You got it…” Adam stated passive aggressively.

“Dude, you’re not giving me much material to work with.”

Seth watched as Jonah and Adam went back and forth for a moment before walking into the park, where the footage cut to them looking at an old indoor roller coaster. Adam pointed the camera towards the abandoned cars, seeing that it was themed after a caterpillar, though the paint was chipped and the metal was covered in rust and graffiti.

“This…is a coaster I believe themed after Alice in Wonderland.” Adam stated. “It’s hard to tell though; the sign fell off of this building a long time ago, and the paint’s peeled off.”

“Someone had beef with someone here.” Jonah stated from off-screen before Adam pointed the camera towards him, seeing that Jonah was looking at the graffiti. “It says…‘Noah if you’re reading this, you owe me 120$ asshole.’ You think Noah gave this dude the money?”

“Nah…probably never even saw the message.” Adam responded.

Seth shifted slightly, partially covering his mouth with his hand. His throat felt dry and his eyes stung slightly as he watched Adam and Jonah wander around the abandoned park, though he didn’t let himself cry. He didn’t need to get sappy over old footage, as much as his heart wanted to cry out. It had been a while, though it felt as if they left only a week ago.

“Yo…hey Adam, look at this.” Jonah stated as he took something off of a dusty counter inside the building, where the entrance to the coaster sat.

“What’s up?”

Jonah turned around, holding his hands up, his face covered by an old mask. He “roared” in some attempt to scare Adam, who seemed…less than amused. Adam groaned and punched Jonah in the shoulder, causing him to stumble back a few steps. “Ow! Come on dude!” Jonah laughed, taking off the mask, shaking his head and making a disgusted face when he smelled the mask he just put on his face.

“Boooooo.” Adam said. “Get better material.”

Adam turned the camera towards his face, holding it away a little bit as he looked towards it. He was wearing a black hoodie, the hood covering most of his curly, pale brown hair. “Sarah, if you’re watching this, see what I have to deal with?” Adam said, glancing back at a giggling Jonah, who entered frame and wrapped his arm over Adam’s shoulder. “I have to deal with this dumb shit while you and Mr. Dipshit do the actually important stuff.”

“Hey, at least I’m smarter than you.” Jonah laughed.

“Shut up, I’m not the one with a brain the size of a walnut.” Adam said, suppressing a smile.

“Hey!” Jonah said in an offended tone as he backed away from Adam. “Asshole.”

Seth looked at the ground, sighing deeply before he heard a knock on the door behind him. Right as he shut the Television off, the door opened, a shadow being cast over his back from the warm light coming from the doorway.

“What are you doing in here?” It was Sarah, her eyes showing concern as she noticed how haggard Seth looked.

Seth sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “Nothing.” Seth stated, grimacing slightly when he stood up. “I don’t…see why that matters.”

“You’ve been sitting in there for days now.” Sarah said softly, meeting Seth’s gaze. “I…barely see you outside of when you get food.”

Seth glared down at the young woman in front of him, who didn’t seem at all affected by his steely gaze. “I’m fine, Sarah.” He said sternly. “…Any calls?”

“Seth…no, we haven’t had any new calls,” Sarah said. “Don’t change the subject. You know you can talk to me…right?”

Seth sighed, shifting his gaze away before brushing past Sarah, walking into the living room. Sarah watched as Seth walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge before looking inside; there was barely anything in there.

“So…you’re just not gonna talk to me?” Sarah stated. “I’m genuinely starting to worry about you.”

“I’m fine.” Seth growled, taking a can of off brand soda out of the fridge before slamming the door closed. “…I don’t see why you need to worry about me. Worry about the job you need to do.”

Sarah crossed her arms, her hands lightly clasping to the fabric of her black hoodie. She looked at the ground, sighing before furrowing her brows. “…Still thinking about them, huh?”

Seth paused, looking as if he froze solid before he quickly shook his head and opened his soda can with a hiss. He didn’t answer her question, instead looking at nothing in particular as he took a drink.

“Seth…it’s…been two years.” Sarah’s voice was soft and shown pensiveness. “I didn’t even…think you were that close to them. Don’t you think…it’s…time to move on?”

Silence once again was the only reply, the question hanging in the air like a rotten stench. However, when Sarah went to say something else, she finally received a gruff response. “It’s getting late…don’t you think?”

Sarah sighed through her nose, realizing he wasn’t going to answer her question. However, she believed she already got her answer, even if he didn’t directly say it. Seth walked past Sarah, preparing to return to his bedroom/storage room before he paused right outside of the doorway. He turned slightly, looking as if he wanted to say something before muttering something in Russian, shaking his head and returning to his room, shutting the door behind him. It looked like Sarah was going to have to wait a few more days for him to talk. She just hoped he’d actually sleep for once.

 The next morning was all of the same; Seth giving Sarah the cold shoulder as he went through the monotonous tasks he normally did, acting as if he was drained of all life. Sarah supposed she shouldn’t have been so surprised, as Seth had acted similar to this for months now, though she couldn’t help but feel as though he was getting…worse. It was almost the level of grumpiness he was when Sarah first met him, though at least he wasn’t actively pushing her away anymore.

Seth sat on the couch, cleaning his shotgun and making sure everything worked properly, checking nearly every ten seconds that it wasn’t loaded and that the safety was on. He had a blank look on his face, focusing on the monotony of the act of cleaning. Sarah watched him from the kitchen as she ate a bowl of cereal, unable to help herself from thinking he should’ve focused more on cleaning the apartment of his trash than his precious gun.

Noticing the silence, Sarah thought for a moment before clearing her throat loudly. Seth didn’t even seem to notice, grabbing a huntsman’s rifle before starting to examine it. Sarah once again cleared her throat, louder that time, though once again Seth didn’t budge. Sarah sighed, looking around the small table she was eating at. She spotted a spare spoon on the other side, reaching over before picking it up. She looked back at Seth before training her gaze on him, throwing the spoon across the room to get his attention. Right before it hit him in the head however, he caught it, barely even looking at it. His eyes shifted, seeing what was in his hand before staring at Sarah.

“Here’s a tip for gun safety; don’t throw shit at the man holding a gun.” He stated, tossing the spoon to the side, it falling to the ground and landing on the carpet.

“How else am I going to get your attention?” Sarah asked.

“…I didn’t know you were trying to talk to me.” Seth said.

“Maybe I should’ve just said your name I guess.” Sarah sighed.

“What did you want anyway?” Seth asked. “If this is about last night, I’m not—”

“No, it’s not just…that.” Sarah said. “Though…it would certainly help if you actually told me what was wrong. Either way, we’re gonna need to go to the store today; we’re out of pretty much everything.”

Seth sighed, staring at the ground for a moment. “Yeah…I know.”

“Should I go later today, or…?” Sarah asked.

“Eh…I’ll go ahead.” Seth stood up, placing the rifle against the wall before reaching for his jacket, which was lying on the other side of the couch. “Might as well get out of this damn apartment for a while…”

“You sure?”

“Yeah…you should stick around ‘nd…see if anyone calls.” Seth sighed, zipping up his jacket and approaching the door. “Oh…one thing; contact me if you need anything, alright?”

“Okay,” Sarah said. “See you in a bit.”

“Right.” With that, Seth opened the door and left, disappearing behind the front door. Sarah sighed quietly before standing up, grabbing her cereal bowl before putting it into the sink. She put her hands into the pockets of her shorts, walking into the living room, unsure of how to shake off her boredom. She would’ve preferred to go with Seth to the store; at least it would’ve meant she was actually doing something instead of waiting for a call that may never come. She ended up deciding to try and get out of her art block and draw something.

She turned towards the hallway, walking down it before opening the door to one of the bedrooms at the end of the hall. She walked inside, approaching the bed, where she saw her sketchbook laying on the messy blanket. She grabbed it before looking towards the nightstand, rummaging through the drawer before digging out a pencil and sharpener. As soon as she retrieved the items, Sarah left the room, walking down the hallway, but pausing in front of another door.

Sarah stared at the plain white door, remembering when it had a makeshift sign hanging on it. Sarah couldn’t remember exactly what was on it, as it seemed to have a different message every week; whatever Adam and Jonah decided would be funny to write and/or draw on it. Sarah felt somber simply staring at the door, but nevertheless grabbed onto the handle and pushed it open.

She stared at the two twin beds on each side of the room, the emptiness of them making a pit form in her stomach. She glanced at the boxes, remembering how she had to fight to keep Adam and Jonah’s belongings, as Seth wanted to get rid of them early on. At least, he said he was going to; Sarah doubted he could’ve brought himself to throw them out.

Sarah remembered Jonah and Adam fondly, though…mostly Jonah. The goofy optimism Jonah exuded made the sad days just a bit brighter for the entire group, even during the days where Seth seemed especially irritable. Adam on the other hand was…difficult to work with; a stubborn, outright mean at times young man that only seemed to be somewhat nice to Jonah. Sarah didn’t hate Adam, though he always seemed insistent on working alone, refusing to listen to outside input. She remembered how Seth and Adam almost seemed to be rivals, one wishing to keep everything under control, and the other refusing to be told what to do. Sarah even remembered Adam telling her how much of a nutcase Seth was, and how he was bringing the group down. Seth didn’t like him much either, though Sarah couldn’t help but think he still missed Adam, despite their…scuffles.

Sarah remembered when they left and never came back; Adam and Jonah being stopped by Seth, being asked where they were going. Adam just told him that it was a day trip, where they were exploring an abandoned restaurant in town somewhere, and telling him to stop worrying about them. She remembered the argument between the two, how Adam said things to Seth that would stick with him ever since that day. Adam seemed so…bitter that day towards Seth, but Sarah didn’t see it at the time. The next thing they knew, Adam and Jonah were gone, and they were never seen again.

For the following two months, Sarah had made missing posters for the two, with Seth helping put them up everywhere they could. However, Sarah could remember the blank expression on his face as he did so; he lost hope much sooner than Sarah had. Some of those nights, Sarah could hear Seth in his room, crying. He blamed himself for their disappearances, whether it was true or not. Sarah just wished she could’ve helped, but she really didn’t know how. Either way, the result was the same. All that was left were the belongings of two young men, full of life, and an empty room.

Sarah practically forced herself to leave the room, slowly closing the door behind her before sighing. She walked down the hall, first wanting to go to the couch and doodle something, but she paused when she stood in front of Seth’s room. She looked inside, seeing the analog television sitting in the middle of the room, noticing the camcorder resting on top of it. Sarah tossed her sketchbook and pencil onto the coffee table before approaching the room, lightly pushing the door open.

It had been a while since she even stepped foot in there, and she could see how much of a mess it was. Clothes were strewn across the floor, lying alongside the boxes of broken equipment and parts that were piled in the corners of the room. Trash seemed to be thrown haphazardly around the room; crumpled cans of soda and cigarette boxes among them. There was even a fist-sized hole in the wall, partially covered by boxes. Seth’s cot was in the corner of the room, and just seeing it made Sarah wonder why he didn’t just break down and get a mattress. No wonder his back hurt all the time.

Despite everything in that room however, the TV was what Sarah’s attention was on, along with the camera resting atop it. She could see the faded signature, “ADAM M” written on the side in black marker, with the very name making Sarah feel a pit in her gut. A small pile of tapes sat next to the TV, all having writing on them reading something along the lines of, “Werksha Warehouse” or “Bythorne Ghost house”, all being in Adam’s sloppy handwriting.

Sarah crouched down pressing her finger against the power button of the TV before seeing the screen flicker on, the lights hitting her face.

“—sylum? So like…real ass crazy people stayed here?” It was the voice of Jonah, who seemed to be standing in the middle of a dark, yet expansive corridor, with the light of the camera beaming on him.

“From what I know, yeah.” Adam stated. “Apparently there was even a children’s ward.”

“Bro…” Jonah visibly shuddered, whether it was from the cold or from feeling unnerved. “Ugh…I don’t like this, dude.”

“Come on, you aren’t pussying out already, are you?” Adam chuckled. “We’re only in the west wing. We still have the rest of it to go through.”

“Well…yeah, but…come on, what if this place is legit haunted?” Jonah asked quietly, his eyes looking at Adam, almost looking as if he wanted comfort from him.

“Even better.” Adam said, much to the chagrin of Jonah. “I mean…what if we already saw a ghost and didn’t even notice? Like the camera caught it but we didn’t?”

“Dude.” Jonah said, unamused. “Don’t do this to me Adam, not now.”

“Who’s to say I’m even Adam?” Adam said in a low, monotone voice, growing silent after he said it. There was silence for a moment, Jonah’s eyes showing uncertainty before Adam began to laugh.

“Bro, I’m kidding.” Adam said, chuckling slightly. Jonah glared at him before sighing.

“…I don’t think you’re very funny.”

Sarah shut off the TV, standing up with furrowed brows; why was Seth watching these? For all she knew, Seth wasn’t necessarily friends with the two, especially Adam, so why would he spend all his time watching, rewinding, and rewatching their investigation tapes? Unless he…

Unless he actually cared about them more than she thought.

…

 Sarah was sitting in the living room that evening, fiddling with one of their radios before turning it on, testing to see if it was working now. To her surprise, it was, and when she saw that she managed to fix something, she smiled. “Hey Seth!” She called, her gaze focused on Seth’s bedroom door. She heard rustling before the door opened, and Seth stared at her from the doorway, his gaze hard.

“I fixed it!” Sarah held up the radio, a smile on her face. “We should be able to use it now.”

“…hmm.” Seth barely responded.

There was an uncomfortable silence as they both stared at each other,

“If you have the time, maybe you should take a look at the thermal camera.” Seth stated. “If you’re able to, maybe you could fix it too.”

“Oh…I…guess so.”

“Thank you.” Seth said. “I’m…going to bed. You be sure to get sleep too, alright?”

“…Sure.”

Seth nodded, disappearing into his room again before closing the door. Sarah sighed deeply, dismissingly tossing the radio to her side before leaning forward and placing her elbows on her knees, supporting her head with her hands. It didn’t seem like Seth cared at all, though perhaps she shouldn’t have been surprised; he seemed to be especially hard to please for a while, so maybe something as little as repairing a radio wasn’t even close to impressing him. She sighed, getting up before walking to her room; she needed to go clear her head.

After getting dressed, shoving a small pocket knife in her pants pocket just in case, she walked towards the front door. Before she opened it however, she turned around, seeing that Seth’s door was still shut. She thought for a moment before quickly walking over to the counter, grabbing the notepad and writing down a simple message:

“Going out. Be back in an hour.”

She looked at it for a second before writing one last thing underneath the initial message:

“Don’t take the orange soda in the fridge or I’ll punch you. -Sarah”

With that, Sarah rushed out of the door, gently closing it behind her. She almost felt like she was sneaking out of her parents’ house to go hang out with friends, except it was with the leader of the BPS, and she wasn’t going to see friends. Sarah felt somewhat pensive about walking through town when the sun was down, though she didn’t let it affect her. If anyone, or anything, tries to mess with her, she’ll stab them in the throat; just like Seth taught her to.

She walked down the sidewalk, staring at her feet as she kicked a rock across the concrete. It was evening, with the sun barely visible in the orange and deep purple sky. Next to no one was out, with even the occasional passing car being scarce. It was calm, though she couldn’t help but notice how eerie the silence was. She grabbed her knife from her pocket, clutching it from inside her hoodie pocket, starting to feel less confident that she could fight an alternate.

She walked down Main Street, seeing that most of the businesses were closed for the night. However, one of them, a street corner diner, seemed to be still open, with its lights still on and the neon sign in the window still flashing. At least, until the lights shut off and she saw a figure walk to the sign, flicking it off as well. It was a shame really; she had enough money for some fries.

She walked by the diner, seeing a man walk out, immediately approaching a black car that was parked on the side of the road. Sarah couldn’t help but think he looked familiar somehow. He was holding his work uniform, throwing it into the back seat of his car. He had wavy black hair, with a grey streak in his bangs. He had lightly tanned skin, and had a faint mustache on his upper lip, along with stubble on his chin. He wore a white button up shirt, underneath a red hoodie. Sarah continued to try and figure out where she saw him before, until he looked back towards her.

“…Can…I help you?” He asked with his eyebrow raised.

“Oh, sorry, I just…thought you were someone.” Sarah coughed.

“Do I know you?” The man asked, almost feeling as though Sarah was familiar as well.

Sarah was beginning to think he didn’t. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you—”

“Sarah?”

Sarah looked back up at him, a sense of familiarity rushing over her as she realized who she was looking at.

“Cesar?”

           When Seth stepped out from his room, the first thing he noticed was that Sarah wasn’t in the living room like she was prior. It was completely silent, making his hair stand on end. He checked her bedroom, though when she saw she wasn’t there either, he felt his heart sink. “Sarah?” He called, hesitantly opening the door to the abandoned second bedroom before quickly closing it when he saw that no one was there. “Sarah?!”

           He jogged into the living room, his breathing beginning to quicken before he saw the notepad on the counter. He quickly read over it, his breathing calming down, though his anxiety didn’t get any better. What the hell would be so important that she’d leave at sundown? Why didn’t she tell him? He sighed deeply, thinking to himself; she was an adult, which means she’s able to do whatever she wants, even if he wasn’t necessarily happy about it.

           He walked over to the couch, folding his hands on his lap, his leg bouncing as he glanced at the clock. He wasn’t sure when she left, though it was nearing nine, meaning she would be back at latest ten he hoped. God damn it, was he being too overbearing again? Is that why she left? He sighed before standing up, shaking his head before walking down the hallway.

           He entered Sarah’s room, walking past the bed before opening up the closet, which was full of random junk and clothes. He moved the pile of clothes before grabbing something from underneath them; an acoustic guitar. He sat down on the floor, looking at the guitar with a tired expression, beginning to pluck at the strings. If Sarah was going to be gone for a bit, he might as well pass the time; whatever would get his mind off of the possibility of her disappearing for good too was a good enough distraction.

             Cesar and Sarah sat inside of the empty diner, the lights back on as they talked, both laughing at Cesar’s work stories and jokes. They snacked on the fries Cesar had quickly cooked up, ignoring that he wasn’t supposed to do that.

           “Yeah, uh, I’ve been working here for…a month now?” Cesar said. “Not a bad place, though it’s pretty slow most of the time. Though…I may get fired if they figure out I’ve been stealing the donuts.”

           “So you’ve been in Bythorne for…years now?” Sarah asked. “I’ve never seen you around.”

           “Yeah, I moved here a while back,” Cesar responded. “Finished school, moved into an apartment…struggled to get a job, but y’know…”

           “Heh, yeah…I get it.” Sarah sighed. “It’s just that…it’s like you vanished off the face of the planet, you know.”

           “Hmm?” Cesar furrowed his brows.

           “Like…no one saw you for weeks; no one even saw your mom around.” Sarah spoke, Cesar seeming to lose eye contact as soon as she said it. “We started to wonder if…something happened. Hell, I remember the high school even calling the police to check in on you guys, but…no response.”

           “Yeah…uh…” Cesar scratched the back of his neck, sighing deeply. “It’s…complicated. Just wanted out of that damned county, honestly.”

           “Trust me…I understand.” Sarah said. “As soon as I could, I moved out too.”

           “So…what have you been up to?” Cesar asked. “What’s new?”

           “A lot. Definitely a lot.” Sarah chuckled. “Joined and helped create a group called the Bythorne Paranormal Society.”

           “…Oh! Yeah, I’ve heard of that before, seen the flyers around...” Cesar responded. “It uh, i-it’s a…damn it…a supernatural investigation group, right?”

           “Yeah! We go on ghost hunts…cleanse homes of spirits and whatnot, y’know?” Sarah responded.

           “Cool, cool.” Cesar said, clearing his throat a bit. During the silence, Sarah thought to herself, sighing before asking the question.

           “Would you be interested in joining?”

           Cesar looked at her, seemingly surprised by the question. “Oh…uh…I-I don’t know, honestly.” He said. “I mean…I already have a job, as…mediocre as it is.”

           “Oh…well, I mean, it didn’t hurt to ask, I guess.” Sarah looked at her hands, taking another fry from the basket between them.

           “What do you do? Aside from your typical Mystery Gang type shit?” Cesar asked.

           “We investigate supposedly haunted locations, sometimes to check in, and other times to help the spirit move on.” Sarah explained.

           “You get paid?”

           “Yeah, of course.” Sarah said. “Typically around 100 dollars on a simple job, though it can go up to 500, or even 1000.”

           “Huh. Per person?”

           “As a group.”

           “Oh…”

           “Sometimes it’s a struggle, but…depending on the job, we can get a lot of money.” Sarah chuckled, realizing how she wasn’t selling the job as well as she hoped.

           “So…I mean…I’ve had some…questions about things like that.” Cesar said almost hesitantly. “You think I’d be able to get some answers?”

           “…Sure.” Sarah responded. “I’ve definitely learned a lot about certain things from being in the BPS. I think the experiences are the best part of the job…sometimes.”

           “…I’ll…think about it.” Cesar said.

           “Why don’t I show you the HQ?” Sarah asked. “You could at least get used to the idea, seeing everything there and what you do on the investigations.”

           “Uh…well, I didn’t have anything else planned tonight…” Cesar thought aloud. “…Why the hell not, sure.”

           “I’ll show you the way there!” Sarah said, standing up.

           “I can drive there.” Cesar responded. “Though…first I need to clean up everything…I’m not getting fired before I agree to joining some…paranormal society.”

           “Yeah, please don’t get fired.”

           “You want to help?” Cesar asked.

           “…No, but sure, I’ll help.”

           Seth sat next to the wall, staring at his feet as he strummed on his guitar, his expression blank. He was barely playing a song at that point, absentmindedly plucking the strings as he waited for his friend to return. Damn it he was pathetic; he’s alone for an hour and he feels miserable. He didn’t need someone else to be happy, right? Was there a reason why the room felt oddly claustrophobic all of a sudden?

           Seth stood up, ignoring the crack of his knees and back as he walked back to the closet, placing his guitar inside and covering it with junk. As he did, he heard the front door open, along with Sarah speaking. However, as he listened closely, he also heard something else; the voice of a man that he didn’t recognize.

           Seth placed his hand on the pistol holster on his hip, his brows furrowing as he looked down the hallway, unable to see them, but hearing that they were having a conversation. Whoever was talking to his dau—Sarah was going to have a lot of explaining to do, showing up at their home without warning. Seth stormed down the hallway, stopping at the doorway, staring at Sarah and the new, potentially dangerous individual talking to her. Seth’s nose twitched slightly, his shoulders tensing before he spoke.

           “Who is this?”

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary298

7/13-14/24

saturday - sunday

productive day...

for everything but the film score!! i am really slacking on that.

before i get to all the stuff i did, i will talk more about the show i went to yesterday w/ a friend of ours. he came and got me, he and his gf, which i really appreciate, they are too kind, he even paid for me at the door... which was also very kind. my gf at least got him back for that.

so we were there for a while before the show, and then the show was a little late to start, it was nice that it was an all ages show, or it's nice that there are all ages shows, but being around teenagers is so strange, they stare, for one, i think maybe less because of my, uhm, i guess we would call it 'condition' (being vague helps me feel vague or something between the cracks (buy basically transfemme (obviously))), so less because of that though it is certainly part of it i imagine, and more because i do not dress the same. like i don't really dress like i'm a scene girl or like in the stupid gigantic pants and giant t shirts or crop tops or whatever. i mostly just dress like myself, annoying + wanting to be cute/sexy, but emphasis on cute i suppose.

anyway, there's that, which feels weird, and then also the fact that they're really not socialized well, and they kinda go hard in pits in ways that make no sense, like grabbing and throwing one another during rather slow and morose music that is mostly just kind of nice but not like, you know, it doesn't make you want to do more than sway in place basically. but they throw and stuff, it's annoying frankly because i'm just standing around and they knock into me and it hurts a little but also like, what am i supposed to do. i guess it's my bad for going to the show in the first place, i had a friend go into the pit and he was like, going hard a bit, and then immediately he ran back out like, they're weak, they're too weak.

anyway, the bands, first up was my friend's band i put their performance on yt. obviously not good video or sound quality but that is #thepoint, so here that is:

you get a view of the venue and the weird little old guy who owns the place. he's a sweet dude, it's nice that he has the shows here, it's sad the kids do not respect the space. i saw like, 3 march through with skateboards for no reason, to the back. i don't know what's up with that. hope they didn't fuck anything up! the old guy reminded me of how side characters in s1 of twin peaks feel. funny and nice, off kilter but basically pleasant...

anyway, we only stuck around for... 2 more bands i'm pretty sure.

second was this group common girl, they were the band the kids tried moshing to. they are fine, basically, shoegaze from portland trying to go in on how screamo is getting big again, they kind of got a little city of caterpillar, post-rock-y post hardcore-y... it's fine music but it doesn't really go fast or hard enough for me to even begin thinking about really dancing to it. so it's in an uncomfortable space, it sounds good recorded but they also sound way too much like narrow head. every band's got those chords right now. it's annoying. too much like, grunge influence. i thought it could not get old. but it gets old quick, actually.

3rd up is twistur... they were also okay but too prog-y, in the midwest emo way where they're all good at their instruments and stuff and it's like, they do some dumb jazzy stuff in between the guy being sad about girls or something. it's okay, it's fine. but the twinkly shit gets on my nerves. they also got gaze-y too, and hard too, there was one quite good song they had that was more of a post-rock thing, lots of space, interesting sense of pace and somehow, despite all the building, not really feeling slow. they're onto something if they stick with that sound, but i don't think that would go over well so much unless they really can make people stop and think, really feel it. i hope they can. both of these bands certainly have a lot of promise in that regard, so i guess basically i hope they keep doing stuff, they're definitely nice dudes trying their best, nothing felt cynical really, which is a good thing, sometimes, or i guess maybe because of the dj scene being where i was around for so long, you get that sense. i guess at their last show i went to, there was some of that, a bit, but most of the people in bands have a dorky thing going on, not in a bad way, it's just very earnest, to be doing that right now i think. that might be part of why it seems like the kids are super feeling that now, which i think is nice, it might lead to a resurgence of interesting guitar / guitar-ish music.

i guess we're sorta getting some of that w/ the whole electroclash thing going on. it doesn't even feel so much like a repeat, the good stuff at least, it feels like a true second wave almost, pretty #swaggy if you ask me!!

anyway, today:

i wrote lyrics for 2 songs!! that's pretty big i m o, cuz tomorrow i can try recording some stuff at least, or practice.

then, i wrote riffs!! on my guitar!! that felt really good, i sat there a while trying to figure out how to play better again, gonna keep on that i think, feels really good to try that, i do miss playing amplified but it's probably for the best i am not, since that would annoy lots of people and i'd just get sad i'm not very good, plus i'd get too focused on finding sounds. it's good i just sit and focus on writing riffs.

also, while doing lyrics, i was singing/practicing my vocals, which felt very good, also, nice to get back to that.

+i cooked and stuff, my gf had a long day, it was eventful but this job will probably make her very exhausted, hopefully i can help on some level w/ that.

i also exported a song, with much difficulty... idk why it was such a pain to figure out. i think i wanna go back in and mess with it a bit but i think there's some issue with some of the plugins, i mean definitely, to cause a crash like that. consistently... sooo fucking annoying!

it does keep crashing, hopefully this becomes normal after i turn my computer on tomorrow... idk what to do other than re-do all the plugins (lollllll) otherwise.

anyway, i have to sleep now, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[karltface]

Nothing like having a bad day and coming home to one of these. Instant turnaround.

And it's a banger, too. Games and pranks abound, prank-wise, the broken window is the least likely to be more funny than annoying. Everyone knows tic-tac-toe, and the Monopoly pieces are new to me. That's four now.

The wonderful world of nature is all killer, no filler. Two tool birds I don't have, a couple more of those snazzy old knockoff Bug-a-Boos, more caterpillar parts, and a sweet snail jiggler. An assassin snail, at that! The biodiversity on toy shelves in our youth was astounding, let me tell you.

I may as well point out that extra spins are among the prizes, so this is an extra fat one. That said, the Bony Boys are out in force here. 90s keychain lad is always a fun find, the pocket clips are wonderful accents on posters and tapestries, the dancers are apparently modern but previously unknown to me, and the pocket skeletons are as cute as ever.

The extensive pile of plastic frippery you see before you spans half a century, if I'm not mistaken. Les of the Rubber Uglies is the prize of the bunch, naturally, but the Demons & Wizards dudes are one body sculpt and one weapon I don't have. Same goes for the snub-nosed ship (and that space station looks great in orange), the Astro-Nit, and even that pocket goblin. The tiki heads will expand my two spires, and Mirror Pokey still amuses me. Gumby seems a tad out of sorts, though.

And finally, arts. Well, Deja Pins almost seems too mainstream to blend in, or maybe I just spend too much time around dealer rooms. Gravy Toys is, like Greasy Creeps, a toymaker, but offers a small selection of paper goods as well. The Cousin Itt keshi is delightful enough to supplant the green one, and more stickers and pins are always nice.

Another month, another delightful hour of writing and photography.

[indecisive-dizzy]

I’ve had no ideas for my ocs so have some incorrect quotes

Barnaby: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real? 
Wallace: Never seen one. 
Barnaby: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real. 
Wallace: What can’t I see? 
Barnaby: You can’t see gravity. That’s real. 
Wallace: Yeah, I can drop an apple. 
Barnaby: Fuck.

Daisey: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. 
Eddie: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely* 
Daisey: That one. I want that one.

*Frank and Julie are texting* 
Frank: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste. NONE. 
Julie: I got spring water. 
Frank: NO! 
Julie: With EXTRA minerals! 
Julie: It’s like licking a stalagmite! 
Frank: DON’T COME HOME! 
Julie: Mmmmmm, cave water.

Julie: I think this might be a bad idea... 
Daisey: Don't start thinking on me now!

Daisey: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth. 
Julie: Why? 
Daisey, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.

Daisey: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You’re supposed to say I have ‘the right to remain silent’”! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! 
Frank: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.

Howdy: Hey Frank, listen, corporate makes us do this every year, but this is just a little manager evaluation form. You just fill it out, let them know how I'm doing, you know? 
Lizzy: Alright! Uh, "Is your manager manipulative?" 
Howdy: I'd say "No" to that if I were you.

Eddie: HELP! I TOLD FRANK I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK! 
Howdy, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Howdy, at Daisey's funeral: I need a moment with them. 
Everyone: Of course. *They leave* 
Howdy, leaning over Daisey′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead. 
Daisey: Yeah, no shit.

Daisey: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, “Oh, Daisey is such a nice person, Daisey is so happy-go-lucky! Daisey can’t be in a bad mood!” Well, you know what? Daisey CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Daisey IS be in a bad mood

Howdy: While I'm gone, you're in charge Julie. 
Julie: Yes! 
Howdy, whispering to Frank: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want them to feel bad. 
Frank: Obviously.

Howdy: *sees someone doing something stupid* 
Howdy: What an idiot. 
Howdy: *realizes it's Daisey* 
Howdy: Wait, that's MY idiot!

Eddie: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room. 
Howdy: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you. 
*Daisey walks in* 
Howdy: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

Daisey: Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your boyfriend? 
Julie: Dude- Its satire! 
Daisey: THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!

Frank: If you think I’m playing favorites, you’re wrong. I love all of you equally! 
Frank, earlier: I don’t care for Daisey.

Also the only idea I have is Howdy being stubborn and in denial about his feelings for Daisey until they ask him out

Then he’s just like O//_//O

I feel like I'm sipping my coffee while reading the daily funnies in the newspaper, how delightful!

These are great, got a good chuckle :]

The future partner one with Dasiey,, Eddie is at least 4 of those things! I don't think he's the bravest but he checks the other boxes (he's the only mailman he has to be successful right?)

Howdy in denial is just, Howdy's day to day. This worm refuses to accept or realize anything until it's thrown in his face lol <3

[total-television-productions-act]

when i watch episodes i take notes on them for. obvious reasons, and i used to take completely serious notes, however, as i kept watching, they got sillier and sillier.

here are my favorites from my underdog watch

Simon's house is old. (It's also decorated like such a male living space.)

Too many Underdog defeats make a Riff Raff depressed.

Underdog says "scat"; he says it to the army guys like one would say it to an opossum in the trash

Underdog DRIVES

OJ is fucking insane, don't send your top reporter to a dangerous island, dawg! You'll lose even MORE ratings if she dies!

rotating that Smitty is a crewmate! he doesn't do the Fearo shit because he's too busy fixing their DESTROYED BOAT.

Underdog shakes with his right hand this ep, but after the colossal failure of his left-hand shake in Safe Waif i don't blame him

Riff does not need horses for this.

Polly doesn't want to be made into a bug :[

Felina - it's Felinaaaaaaa

Overcat's first attack toward Underdog is mocking him

Overcat bunny-kicks him also i just think that's funny

cpt marblehead just like trump fr

Under "workaholic" dog

A person tells Underdog to "sic 'em", i think that's probably specist.

Eel is easily up there in most powerful villains, and it's for his "doesn't give a shit about murder" attitude

All of my notes on Molemen, my least favorite episode, are gold to me:

MOVE OUT OF THE WAY OF THE GUN YOU STUPID FUCK

START FLYING YOU STUPID FUCK

OVERCAT HIM, DUDE

not how caterpillars work shouldve been a SPIDER

i can't with this guy. i admire his "Entertainment? Oh, I'll SHOW you entertainment!" but beat it up dude!

it's been like, 24 hours max, is the thing, and the only thing the molemen are attacking are CROPS. not stores. not homes. CROP FIELDS. the people are FINE. the people are mass-buying food from grocery stores to prepare. they AREN'T that hungry. the army is going to exterminate these people.

the best parts of this episode are Underdog Feathertailing the king and saying "THAT KING MANGE IS MINE, ALL MINE!"

[indigos-shits-and-giggles]

I was only able to catch two pokemon, that being a Chewtle named Scooter and a Seedot named Kernel, before running out of space in my team. So now I'm going to beat up a nine year old kid- I mean, a nine year old kid's pokemon. Poor Skwovet never stood a chance against Mowgli lmao.

Unfortunately there's still one more trainer to face before I can get to the lady's grandma's house, but I'm sure Mowgli can handle them. It's just some lady and her Chewtle, what's the worst that could happen? Yeeaaahhhh Mowgli's branch poke fucking one shotted the bitch. Funny how that works! And now my boy's up to level 11, holy smokes.

Even better, now I'm beating up another child's pokemon! He just brought a random caterpillar that looks like Victor Frankenstein, no wonder Hop had such an easy time beating him too. But wait, he has one more left! That's right, a Nickit. And they're level 7, too. Ooohhhh, how intimidating! Don't worry, Mowgli gets the dude in the red with only a light branch poke.

Okay now we're at the lady's grandma's house. Apparently the current professor is the grandma and she's trying to get her grandmother to follow in her footsteps and shit, hence why she gave us the pokedex and whatnot. That was confusing ngl. Kudos to the professor for trying to convince Leon to endorse me and Hop in the gym challenge. I just gotta wreck Hop's shit and we'll be good to go!

[pastelslugcat]

I volunteer at my local cat shelter and I've seen some really funny names. Here are some of my favourites:

. Sir Squiggle

. Mystic Milkshake

. Lil dude with the fluffy head

. Definitely a cat

. Caterpillar fren

. Furret walk

. Popcorn critter of joy

To be fair we sometimes get dozens of cats at a time so we have to get... creative to say the least.

[whalesloveyou]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Alice In Wonderland Drink Me Absolem Caterpillar Necklace.

[blackbirds-on-the-marsh]

Curse my ability to only remember the URLs of people who’ve posted the weirdest or nastiest stuff