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mytwitterisdogtoast1 · 4 years ago

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Kingdom Hearts 3 broke my heart.

I am a fan of Kingdom Hearts. i've been here through the first game and even though I grew up without the money to play every game I stuck with the series as best I could. In fact I've bought multiple copies of games on multiple systems and beat a couple of the games not just once but 3 or more times. Here is a list of the things I've done involving this series.

1: I bought KH1/2/COM on more than one system such as ps2,3, and 4. 2: I've played and beaten on the hardest difficulty on each main installment (except critical mode of 3) 3: I have 100% KH1 which might not seem like a big deal but it is the only game I have 100% ever. Got all the trophies and so on. 4: I stuck with the story and even recently before 3 came out played and beat most of the games. (except DDD since it wasn't my kind of deal since I don't like the flowmotion part of the combat.)

You could say I'm a fan of the games and have done what I can to in general keep up with the series as well as have enjoyed the series.

But then 3 came out and I was just not happy with it. After waiting for so long and playing the game and screaming and ranting about certain plot points that just don't make sense to me (KH is notoriously hard to keep up with plot wise and I am just not the brightest person in the world when it comes to shit. Like I really need some things explained outright for me and to some degree do not mind spoilers for some things) I swore off KH the entirety from now on cause it was just that bad of a game for me. It wasn't a horrible game but the direction they started taking it in was just so far removed from what the original 2 games in the numerical series were that this was just NOT Kingdom Hearts at all. Sure you can say it is a love letter to the biggest of fans but I can say that a letter to regular fans was something it needed to do more than cater to such a rabid fanbase compared to a regular fanbase. I thought this was unfair and then bought Memory of Melody. That is now the worst game in the series to me. So I dived into what people thought and looked at a ton of youtubers who played the game and saw what they thought. I looked at reviews of non youtubers and read what they thought and the game has made the fanbase more divided than anything I'd ever seen from a fanbase. So I replayed the game with the intent to write down all I felt on the game to give it a fair review. Like I said I'm a filthy casual and I can give stuff a large break when it comes to media and have a large understanding of what that thing is meant to be. Sometimes a product is meant to be a certain way and we have to enjoy it for what it is and I can try and do that. I mean I love the WWE and Yugioh and anyone who is a part of those fanbases knows in their hearts (kek hearts) how bad those things can be at times. So I played the game and wrote down all the thoughts I had on it and Some might be easy to explain while others are in general probably at least fair on how I feel about it.

Kingdom Hearts is a series not meant for the new comer. It knows what it wants to be and does that thing. It isn't here to make everyone happy and that is just absolutely fine in general. I've been a fan and it makes me happy that the game is one long story that I can appreciate and make call backs to in stuff. I remember being so rewarded when I looked at my then best friend who skipped over chain of memories (I had to emulate it but I think it was fair of me to do so since I bought the game 3 times since now that I have the money to do so) and said he knew what happened because he saw the cutscene of Sora reaching the top and Namine betraying him by putting him into a pod. I laughed at him cause he was a fool who knew nothing of how the story went cause he foolishly just thought he didn't NEED to play the game. This made me more invested into the series than he was. I stuck with the series reading up articles and even watching videos on the series for stuff I missed out on since again i couldn't afford everything. They were building a story over a decade long and at the end it just didn't do it for me. It's not that the story wasn't the end of the series in general. Heck gotta make dat' money Y'all but in general this was the end of a saga for Xehanort and it just didn't cut it. But maybe I'm not starting at the right spot to give my feelings on it. Maybe I'm coming fresh off a game play and feeling a rant building for multiple reasons. So let me start with the positives before I bury the list under a pile of problems for me.

So I'll be putting things in order of good, mixed, bad. They will be somewhat fair and if they have an answer you have my sincerest apologies but remember I'm slightly the "dumb" and would in general like to just get simple straight answers. Something simple and clean if you would. On that note

1: The starting song is a god damned banger - Face my fears is up there with sanctuary which is better than Simple and clean. To be fair though simple and clean was made in like a flight and pretty much is nonsensical to the game in general. However it is a good song. How could it not be with one of japans best pop artists? Have you heard sakura drops? Colors? Traveling? Apples and cinnamon? Fuck man this song is just really good. 2: The game looks great - Sure the game might not look like ps2 graphics anymore but this isn't a bad thing it just is a different thing. The only time I thought it looked bad was during the pirates area where they had to make real people. Sometimes it is better to have a different art theme and even if something is just ok at best during it it can still be over all great. Everyone looked good during it. It just in general looked like a new version of KH entirely. 3: You can power up keyblades - One of the best parts of the game is powering up keyblades. Now sure mickey saying "we should have powered up our keyblades" is a stupid line in general when they are magic items and not fully meant to break form normal stuff but i think the ability to latch onto a key and make that sucker your main key is a great idea. Finally I can power up keys like sweet memories or the kingdom key and go through the cutscenes with the keyblade never changing and it look like it's meant to be there. 4: The whole getting treasure for sinking ships - Even if in general people might not like the ship combat the idea of being a pirate and stealing treasure from a ship when you sink one of the large ones is one of the best thematical ideas in the game. You can just sail the ocean and just pirate ship for loot if you wanted to and since you get xp during it and get your ship to be better it just is a great idea in its entirety. 5: Rikus keyblade - That is one of the better keyblades. I'm not gonna lie but the final fantasy cloud based keyblades where they are more realistic have been one of my favorite designs and I am sad i can't throw it on sora. I like the idea of an actual blade instead of a blunt weapon in the game since it just feels cooler sometimes. Riku getting a keyblade that not only looks more like a sword but is also still a key for a more modern car is one of the cooler things they have ever put in. 6: The call back to union cross players - This was a little lover note to people who played the game. They grabbed a ton of names and threw them in as you threw hundreds of keyblades at the giant heartless storm mob thing. I think it is great and even if I didn't play one of the names that pops up is my actual name so I find that pretty cool whenever I see it.

And that is it. Those are the best parts of KH3 to me. Everything else is either a mixed bag or just not good. I'm sure you can tell which one has more in it. As for the stuff that is in the middle of both good and bad let me make it clear that some stuff that is bad will probably be talked about in the bad section because it needs its own commentary.

1: All the party members - I always was a little sad having to remove one of the characters in my party to add the one new person they wanted to add in and was always sad at that limitation but with 3 you can now have ALL THE MEMBERS. This is great because now I have access to all of my forms with donal...... Oh right, they're not in the game anymore. 2: Nice to one and done an area - Back in the day when I first played the original first game I never went back cause I beat the level and thought it was extra stuff. When I got older and playued through 2 I was a little impatient and just didn't want to keep going back. Now as I am older and wiser and more patient I just do the thing cause it's a part of the game and deal. Thankfully it is all in one trip which is good CAUSE I DON'T WANNA FUCKING PLAY THESE LEVELS EVER AGAIN. 3: I'm gonna say it and people are gonna question me (probably not I'm not a large content creator thus people probably don't care about my opinion so strange of you to be here reading this) but I fucking hate winnie the pooh. I don't like him as a person and I'm just not a fan of his entire world. I only like Eeyore and not cause "gosh that's how I feel" Eeyore is the fucking man. He never lets his bad mood get him down and he powers through even when life is shit. Good for him man. Love that guy. Such a trooper. I just don't like pooh but the levels. God Kingdom Hearts mini games are just mostly not fun in general so not having to play so many mini games in poohs level is fantastic. EXCEPT EVERY WORLD HAS A DAMNED MINI GAME IN IT. 4: Speaking of mini games the ship combat is fine. - It's just, fine. 5: I had so much money - I don't remember playing any other game having so much money. I remember caring and investing and even trying to get money to spend on stuff in some points and in here it just.... I never spent it until i got bored and started using food. I didn't use food until the last world and beyond cause I wanted to finish the game faster. I mean the change of pace having money is nice but there was nothing really to do with it. Maybe I should have bought Hayner, Pence and Olette a ton of pretzels with it. 6: Playing as any other keyblade wielder - Man this was one of those great moments that I was excited to do. Having played as many other characters during other games was always nice and refreshing and being able to do so here was great. It got me excited to play as Mickey again since I got to use him a few times in KH2 or to be able to use Ventus or Aqua again cause they were gonna be saved and be able to fight in the upcoming battle. That is you know. If they are used in the game more than one time each. 7: Giant heartless battle - One of the best moments in the game was the "goofy just died" moment. Not because The goof man "died" but because you got to solo fight a crowd of enemies and in this game it was so cool to have that call back. The shit icing on that beautiful cake was having to use the train to win. Like it just felt like I was making no progress and I can't on my own fight the enemies and no matter how hard you try you can never stop the enemies ever. 8: The what if scenario - The group dying was pretty cool and was a great what if but would have been better if they didn't come back to the past and have Ventus run up and think it was Terra again. It was cool for the lingering will to step in and help but even then the whole situation was so stupid that it could have been written better. What if instead of doing the whole scenario it was a mind fuckery to sora to put him down mentally like they had been trying to entire game. What if it showed him losing and that it was possible? Instead we got this long winded scenario where people didn't learn from their first mistake and tried to go run up to Terra when in that moment Aqua when Ven tried going should have grabbed his shoulder and said "you know it's not him so let's just get ready to fight"

Those are the mixed bag moments I was commenting on. Some things are fine and aren't really an issue except the are a part of a bigger problem in itself which makes them a mixed bag. The last part's I'll be writing about are pretty much a giant rant or asking questions to things. There are problematic points I'll be making as well. So now let's look at the bad stuff in KH3. However, before I get into it, I want to also write down the not as bad stuff as well as some of the really big stuff so I'll make sure to point out when it is a gripe that isn't the worst thing in the world compared to it actually being not good.

1: Nitpick/The social media is dumb - Look I'm not much of a social media person and I know todays kids and teens are all about that jazz and such but man this part of the game is pretty dumb. I am in no way too old to "get hip with it grandpa" and think social media is a bad thing. Times and things change but WHY IS THIS A THING? Sora and friends are out saving the world and probably do not know about current phones since they are so busy. They would be like really old people trying to catch up with todays world and just in general should not have time enough to do it. Sure giving a phone is fine which whatever they can just add in ways to contact which again makes the phone fine but social media is dumb. What platform are they on? Who is following them? What world is this being sent to in general? Does anyone really care?

2: Nitpick/Why 7 VS 13? - I think the number is just really off. Ok look the original organization 13 was fine. Having 14 members in it wasn't a big deal and sure fighting them seperately and not all in one game made me a little sad until final mix came out but at least i got to fight Marluxia in all his pretty boy glory. The point I make is they just seem to have stuck with the 13 which is fine I guess? It just seemed like it was more or less there for no real reason. Sure we would have to fight every single Xehanort around such as Ansem, Xemnas, Terranort, Xigbar who works with old man Xehanort, Young Xehanort, Old man Xehanort. If you also in general wanted him to have each good guy fight a bad guy we would need one for each single keyblade wielder to come out. So let's say Kairi and Axel were just gonna join in so we can have for whatever reason Xion and Roxas just pop out to fight people. We would have need for a total of 7 enemies to fight. Let's just use these guys here as people for people to fight. We can have terranort fight someone before he comes back as lingering will to fight and get his body back. We can have Kairi fight Xion until she defects in general and fights another person with her. We can have axel fight Xemnas so he can get revenge and then have him lose and Roxas can come out. So on and so forth until we have just enough for each person to be matched with another person. You wouldn't need to stretch and find whatever you can and just fill the numbers. You could have at that point just filled it with villains you knew you wanted on your team. Not just bring back generic dudes who don't even need to be here. I'll get more into that in a moment but the numbers just seem off and could have been anything not 7 v 13 but like I said. Nitpick.

3: The plot of Sora flying around this time is a little weak. - So Sora lost his powers and needs to get them back. So he fucks off for a bit until he can regain the powers. Wouldn't it be better if he also trained with Kairi and Axel? What about just going into the realm of darkness to help the others get Aqua? What if instead of just going back and forth to each Disney world like he normally did he in general just.....trained. See the point of the other games was "close the keyholes of the world so heartless stop getting in. Stop those nobodies from opening Kindom Hearts." Kind like saving the world is a great motivation to have compared to "fuck off until you are good or something". It's one of the biggest issues in general. Now if he was told something more substantial than "you need the power of waking" than it would have made the grind through much better. Add in a new plot element for him to need to travel to lands in general so he can earn the power of waking. Send him to places to get that shit instead of "get stronger". You think I can't just do that shit with story? Shit's boring man lemme do stuff.

4: You cannot turn off attractions - That is without playing critical mode. Man Attractions are in general one of the worst parts of the game. Sure I find it hilarious when I'm fighting an important boss (such as Xemnas) and I last hit him with a merry go round but in general they just suck. They aren't fun and they slow the games combat down with a cinematic. Sure they can be "avoided" and I "don't have to use them" but they exist in the game. They are the creators vision and he wants you to use them. If they didn't want it to be a huge part of the games combat system they wouldn't add it in and the fact that it shows up so often just kinda proves they want you to use the thing. Combat in here is very floaty if you haven't noticed and a more grounded approach is sometimes best. This is what the attractions do since they still try and attack you thus getting closer to the attraction in the first place. It's really a jarring object. Telling me not to use it while having the chance to actually accidentally press the button is frustrating. It's the smaller version of telling someone don't be mad when they are mad or try not to be depressed. It's hard to avoid and the answer isn't just "don't do it." Especially when the game puts in abilities to make them more prominent such as extending the time on them. Another point on this is that if the developer wanted them to be optional they wouldn't sometimes be mandatory or even show up during boss fights. Either this was an added on horse shit thing where Disney was like "add attractions or we're done" or Nomura just was like "i recently went to disney land and you gotta put this in it's dope". Joke aside it is one of the worst parts of the game since I can't turn them off and it is hard to get around them. Let me turn them off fully or let them be used as an ability where you can add them in if you want it. Customization should be more of a thing than a gimmick you keep getting. Also they show up so often and I believe in every enemy spawn group. Multiple times even if you miss it the first time. Having so much prominence placed onto this one mechanic just shows they went in hard on it and sure if it was just the rock titan or just the horde of heartless at the end or maybe even rare I wouldn't find it much of a problem but it is EVERY FREAKING COMBAT. I hit that button on accident more times than I wanted to that in general I was trying to use a spell but I missed it by seconds or something and the carnival ride started up and I just said "god dammit" and had to end it dealing a burst of damage since you can't just stop it, it has to go full swing. Also only in critical mode is kind of bullshit. Add it to every mode in the game and it'll be less of an issue.

5: Nitpick/Sora is an idiot - Look I don't mean the whole "he's so stupid now he just is always happy or has dumb dialogue" I mean the idiot tried to touch fire and instead of water magic which he now has and I spammed on the fire balls he walked up to a freaking inferno of flames and just tried to see if it was hot by touching it with his bare hands. Shit Sora you dumb fuck Goofy had a better idea than the mage and the main character and he's not always the brightest. Fuck you.

6: There is too much stuff in this game - Way too many mechanics and most of them are on forever. You have so much you can do such as the shotlock, Flowmotion, Carnival rides, Extra forms, Summoning the fat cat dream pokemon, so many mini games, just so much shit and I'm sure I forgot something. Now look I can let go of the whole "cat" thing because it is a summon and those are normal but in general it just feels like the entire game was overloaded with everything from every other game EXCEPT for cards and if we don't have cards for character upgrades or something it feels like a waste. (that's a joke) The point is that there is too much stuff and it's all filler and fluff and we can just have a nice game without 10,000 things to learn in the first section of the game.

7: Nitpick/ I think the selfies are just dumb - I've taken a total of maybe 5 selfies. All of which are to show a single person in that specific moment. Selfies don't really do much in the world we play in for KH3 and I just think it is in general a dumb game mechanic. However it is not required to do so it's not a big deal to have in. Just another nitpick.

8: Food and cooking - Look, this is not monster hunter. This is not another game where food is an important detail and sure I don't mind the addition of it if you really wanna put it in but it does make the game easier when used. In that direction fine making a game easier isn't a bad thing, however, constantly telling me now is a good time to find ingredients for little chef is annoying every time. I could figure it out if I really wanted it but in general since it is an optional mechanic to which I can just buy the parts for it and even the food at a kupo shop than what is the point in adding in the game play mechanics for it? The mini games are dumb and take too long to do for such a small mini game. Crack and egg get soup. Nothing else but crack an egg. So than the game is too short for a mechanic I'm supposed to do often? Why not add in a larger game so that I can help him create the object one time to see if he likes it and then when he adds it on I can order the object from him. Don't add it into the kupo store if I you want me to make it and don't make me make it be so tedious if you want me to make it. Also why is sora cooking at all? It's Remys passion not mine. He's even shown to run a packed restaurant all on his own at the end of the game in the credits scene.

9: More customization please - Here's a major issue I have with the game. There is less customization compared to other games. This is strange as in general it seems to be the same. The problem is this. I have to use flowmotion in the game. It is not an option because in certain levels it is a legitimate requirement to use for moving elsas castle. It is required in a couple other places as well but the point still stands. I need to have them equipped in order to make progress. The fact that in KH2 I could turn off big moves from team members but cannot now takes the agency away from me from making my fighting style more what I want to do. This means in order for me to really enjoy the game I have to really accept mechanics I was not a fan of in DDD. Maybe having an option for character customization such as turning off forms, and what special attacks you wanna do would be nice instead of giving everything under the sun. Do I want to be a fast mobile fighter? Than make that a character level abiliy choice instead of just making me have it from the start and also making it mandatory for levels. Allow me to remove the big moves with my team and stop making them always on since I never liked them. Sure I can ignore them but it comes down to the same thing as the attractions. Sometimes you cannot avoid hitting the wrong thing. This also goes into the whole magic sucking ass in this game. Every spell is offensive and thus it just feels like it is the same. Wanna do a little small thing with some damage? Wanna do massive damage comparatively? It just feels like they wanted to simplify the whole having a summon, having a spell, having 2 items on or something along those lines. This stops you from having more options on your character and just stream lines you in to a generic build. I didn't use ice once past the first time finding out its pretty much a fire ball. I used cure, fire, water, thunder. Thunder for crowds, fire for damage, water for crowds also because I just stopped caring and cura cause I heal all my damage cause DONALD NEVER HEALS YOU. WE'RE 4000 GAMES IN MAKE DONALD HEAL BETTER. This again comes back to the limits. Let me turn them off since I do not like them. If they worked as magic they would be better cause the magic sucks ass in the game. I mostly after a while stopped doing any real care in magic and just used healing. This also comes back to the original abilities in second form that you can unlock via smacking them with your keyblade. They would be nice since the magic in the game again sucks ass so having something to use magic bar that is not cure would be a nice touch.

10: For a guy who lost his powers I sure have a ton of abilities right away - Remember when in the beginning of each game you lost all your powers and had to slowly unlock everything and it would come to you not just willy nilly? Man those were the days. Could earn powers for reasons. I'm not helpless in the game if I can run up mountains or sky scrapers. If I can glide with the shotlock from one spot to another. I'm too strong if anything at the start and it just makes you feel like the game is padding time before the small amount of story at the end that matters. This could have literally been with the final chapter prologue and it would have worked fine. But no, we didn't get that. That leads into us just spending time until something happens. The story has its own issues (which I will touch up on near the end) and it has some really bad pacing issues. There is bad pacing, and then there is bad writing because of bad pacing. Why not put some shit in the middle. Show I'm getting better instead of just having me just do everything all at once. That's not really an issue if they space parts of it in or let me play as the other characters while sora is fucking off for power. Imagine if they added in more parts with Riku while Sora quests for strength. Imagine us going through the land of darkness instead of just Disney world after Disney world. Imagine what we could have had had it not just been all the Disney stuff then the finale all at once. It wasn't bad pacing for the end to pick up, it was bad pacing for there to be nothing in the middle. This is where the final fantasy characters could have been nice. Adding in the end of the Cloud and Sephiroth stuff so we can fight for more power there. Having us talk with Leon and the gang while they battle with some heartless just in the area and needing help. This would have made better pacing since it would have cut the monotony of the Disney grind. There are times when you just sit there waiting for stuff to happen as you run through world after world waiting for plot in general to just move forward. This does not mean it is bad pacing, this just means there is nothing important going on and leads to the story just falling short of being gripping and engaging. I again bring up the final fantasy characters because let's face it, if they did exist it would give something in general more time to flesh out. There is nothing to do but repeated disney movies that either play out like normal or that you play no real part in since it is after the story in the whole movie. Sure it was great to see what happened with boo and the monsters but Randall just is there and I'm sure he was gone at the end of the first movie. In fact after using my Disney plus account (#notsponsored) to just hit the end of the movie it shows him in a trailer getting beat with a shovel. He probably got back but still.

11: The combat is too "floaty" - I'm in the sky like fucking constantly man. Like all the time. Which is a bad thing since the fucking god damned level creation is now just a tall hallway. See I say tallway (patent pending) beause the level of the game is still pretty small but now it just also goes up a long way. I know this because there are so many flashing walls that there should be seizure warnings in the beginning of the game. It doesn't stop either since in general you have to climb high and doing so brings you ledges and if you have to hit people flying then you are gonna fall. Sure we can use magic but magic runs out and is complete ass. Now look this isn't just me saying it can happen since it does right in the hercules area. The first area where they could have been testing thing and probably did which means someone dealt with this shit and said it was fine enough to pass. That's just bad game mechanics right there. If you want me to be floaty in combat that do not put ledges I can fall down in your game. I do not want to climb all the way back to the top just to get into more fights I might fall down because of. Maybe make the parts I'm on bigger platforms. It just seems they want us to use the attractions because you can't fall off the safe attractions. Another thing is that it isn't just combat that is "floaty" but your movement is also a little too fast. Making larger areas and then making us speed up into a sprint is fine but having me stop right next to a save spot inches too short of touching it only for me to Vroom Vroom right over it because of how fast and far I move is god damned infuriating. It also continues combat wise as an issue in that once you get the ability to knock people up you start going into air combat and smacking them away and you can do that so much since in general the areas you fight in are so large that you can knock a single heartless out of the spawning area enough that you have to run back to fight it.

12: Proud mode is a fucking joke - I think I died a total of one time in proud mode which is probably more than others. See the difficulty has been said to be really easy on this games play through and I'm inclined to believe them. Here is the thing. I know critical mode now exists. I just don't like it. See critical mode was doable in 2 since it was just again harder stuff but in this it is no longer you playing KH3. It is you playing Dark Souls which if I wanted to play that kind of game I'd pop in my copy of bloodborne or turn on my copy of dakr souls 2 which in general I'm not a huge fan of so I stopped playing those games. Difficulty in a game is fine but there is going from hard to fuck why am I playing dark souls? No I'm not the kind of guy who says anything hard is dark souls because I grew up in the era of gaming where games had one difficulty and you had to learn to "get gud" or deal with never winning. Even if I was never good at games I didn't shy away from things being difficult. There is however an exception that the game changes so drastically that there is no happy medium between pants shittingly hard or baby mode. The other thing is that in general DLC should not dictate if a game is good on its own. DLC is meant to enhance the fucking experience and should not make me want to have to buy something (this was free) to get a god damned happy experience out of something that cost me top dollar to begin with. If I need your DLC to have fun or enjoy the story than you clearly missed the damned mark. DLC is extra boss battles. It is final mix of the game when it comes out. It turns your vanilla play through into more than what it once was. It adds aesthetics to the game not makes the game difficult and if it does it doesn't make the game different to such a degree that I'd rather fucking play a game that was created to be that difficult because their combat system is hand crafted for said difficulty. Secondly on that list of being too easy who the fuck thought kupo coins was a good idea. I literally just stopped giving a shit since I could use my now always full magic bar since magic is ass to heal when I needed it and to just run away with my big fucking area during battles and not take damage until I could go in and do slappies for a while before running away and gauging if I need to heal and then if I died come back to life. With all the power moves and free attractions each combat I could have beaten proud mode without gimping myself by trying to not use attractions. The forms didn't help with that either because I would just second form and have a brand new powerful thing to do since it was right there. Not only that but rage form is a full heal and why am I heartless sora again? Either way rage form into run away fast because I run like I'm form kenya with all the movement abilities and then with kupo coin and magic makes the difficulty in here easier than "just don't use it". Mostly because it is implemented in the game and they want you to use it. Telling someone not to use the thing is again stupid because if they didn't want me to use it they would remove the feature. This is no longer a kids game. I'm over 10 years older than I once was and I'm a big boy and want to not be treated like a child. Sure they could be putting it in for kids but why not just have it in easy mode since kids will either do easy mode or know they want that extra challenge.

13: Many of the fights and heartless are just not that good compared to earlier games - So firstly the giant horde of heartless was cool one time. Each time you fight it it gets more and more boring and feels like a cop out on trying to make a good battle and a "oh man this is such a cool idea lets use it alot more than we need to". For a game that was in development for 6 years you think they would have more varied enemies and fights and by that I mean more better heartless. Also some of the heartless are just kinda eh in general. Not only that but the places we visit feel like the heartless are kinda thrown in there and they just made way less enemies than normal. Maybe that is me forgetting if other games did the same thing but I can remember many places having more unique enemies that made more sense. Like why is the monkey heartless here? This is not the time to return to monke or some shit like that and it makes 0 sense when I have to fight it in more than one area. How about the lady heartless with the umbrella. Doesn't fit in every single place it shows up and just feels like it is there. Sometimes they do a nice job putting in certain heartless such as the reindeer which I thought was a nice touch but i don't remember them interacting at all with the reindeer from frozen. I also in general remember each heartless having a newer form such as the fat heartless eventually turned into fire breathers and then eventually into shield dudes. They do not make a reappearance but the fat ones show up all over the place and it would be nice to fight things that are great for the area. Some just also have eh designs and the game just feels poorly made because of it. Some bosses are just boring as well. In fact off the top of my head I can't really remember one I like but I sure as shit can remember the one I hated most which happens to be the airship section where you board a machine gun heartless to fight that sky bird thing in the pirates section. I even found the robots in general tedious because they were hard to beat without the use of the robot suits and felt like another tacked on gimmick to use to make combat more easy. Had they been a single section and not everywhere in the store it would have been cooler but instead we had many fights to do with robots who almost always wrecked my shit. In fact it ruined combat a little for me in general and made the section of toy story a little less good. See most of these issues I have with the places are the grand scale of things and having to go back and forth with them with having really unmemorable heartless for the most part and just not finding the game to be that great with some of the more important parts. Enemies help to flesh the game out to be cooler and as much as I love the generic heartless the worlds make the heartless cooler by making them change to be better suited for the world they are in. Having extra enemies like nobodies and unversed without having much of a reason to have them there other than "you remember this right?" seems like a waste of design chances. Some just either were frustrating tank sponges and the others were just not good. The other issue is some bosses appeared numerous times and just didn't feel impressive when fighting them since they just keep coming back. The giant heartless who I saw in hercules mode coming back on the bridge where you first meet Baymax makes the scene not great since it is a simple color swap at most and it is the same thing again. A lot of the bosses in general just feel ok at best too design wise. I can look back at many of the designs and just name really enjoyable ones who are better than the ones we got here. Honestly the designs are just so much of a let down I don't even wanna revisit the stages which is good because the game just isnt that much fun. One of the more unfun parts of enemies is also the shield stuff they have sometimes which is just more ways to give them extra health. Why not just in general just give them more health since it is just a way to beef them up? Not only are they now mostly damage sponges but the fact that some turn into shielded damage sponges just makes me less happy to fight things. The worst version of unfun boss happens to be the lich at the end when you need to rescue everyone from it. The thing is that it not only takes forever and makes you have to fight it numerous times but it also has the ability to make you unlock from it and in such large areas that becomes tedious to deal with lengthening the entire fight from the already long fight it is.

14: Quick speed round of things I don't like that are just not as good as earlier games - Magic sucks in this game. It's all relatively the same since it is all offensive. Aero was in general the same as thunder since it is aoe with a secondary effect. Water, Fire, Ice are all the same as they shoot a ball of the element that homing devices onto an enemy and when not in general locked on fucks off wherever. I miss the older spells and how they worked and felt more unique in 2 while also having more than just offense. Maybe introduce more spells to the next main entry based on the spells of every other game? I'm just not a fan of some of these worlds as they are all new. I haven't had a chance to catch most of the new movies (even thought I have disney plus which is great you should totally buy it #stillnotsponsored) I just don't like some of the places and the mini games in the don't help. Slight inconvenience but making me have to press x as I load new levels is kinda dumb. Maximus should be a party member. Give me him instead of eugene. Why do I need the flowmotion to progress? Hooray WATER LEVELS MY FAVORITE. Crabs. Watch me beat davy jones in a 4 on 1 battle.Darkubes are dumb. Jesus christ Jiminy shut up I'm trying to grind in the best place for the end game. Oh look it's an organization member maybe I can figh....nah they gone now. THERE ARE SO MANY CUTSCENES.

15: 2 final things before the story issues - Playing as other characters, keyblade forms. One of the biggest gripes I had in this was each time I used a new keyblade i wanted to fight with it and not transform into a new form because I do not like the new forms. They do nothing for me and since they kind of all are ok at best that it just kinda feels meh to me to use them. I pretty much used the kingdom key because second form was fine and stayed a keyblade. If anything I would rather have a new style of fighting like second form in general like the original forms are in KH2. I like valor and wisdom form and as cool of a call back as it was for the 2 first keyblades to be given to you I don't like the final ability to be used which makes me less inclined to find a weapon I do like. Which leads into my second final gripe. I was really excited to play as multiple keyblade wielders. Playing as mickey in 2 was super fucking cool and I miss that. Playing as Aqua and Riku in this made me hope for eventual fights at the end where it was each person fought someone else and you would get an ability to play through a final area for extra boss fights as any character for extra gameplay. I was excited to see what Axel and Kairi could do since in general they finally had moments to shine. You could make them fight and even if they did win just have them lose via cutscene and bring back Roxas and have Xion turn to your side. So many issues I have with that because it goes into another issue of.......

16: Everyone but Sora is fucking worthless - I have seen Dragonball GT and the main main main main main issue I have with that show is no one matters except Goku. See in other series characters could fight and kill or do something against the not main villain and be worth a damn but when GT happened everyone kinda just. Became worthless. No one could win a fight except Goku especially near the end when they had him fight 7 dragons. Sora does the same here when he has to be involved the final boss rush in the game. I'd have liked to see other characters stand out but even then he is the only one who can fight Xehanort when Mickey failed to do anything. It was all sora. Even waking Aqua was all sora. The only time someone did something was when Aqua fought Vanitas and still got her shit kicked in at the end during the cinematic and at that point he just didn't wanna fight 3 people. This is a shame because as I already said it would have been cooler to have those characters fight people and it matter. Let's break down the people who would be on our side Riku Kairi Axel Roxas Terra Ven Aqua Xion Sora Mickey Thats a total of 10 different people to play as. That would have made the final boss fights unique and super cool. You say that would have taken so much time and I say "Cool" but it would have been cooler to fight as these different characters. If they put in 2 extra just do them all. It is the most let down of let downs in gameplay mechanics. Who could they have fought in the game? Let's look at the villains Xigbar Marluxia Terranort Young Xehanort Xemnas Ansem Larxene Luxord Older Xehanort Evil Clone Riku Vanitas Saix Xion There are 12 total people to fight that are not the original Xehanort and each one could be fought with someone totally different. If Xion fights twice but wasn't really trying the first time she can be fine for the second battle. Let's give everyone a person to fight. Let's get the easy ones out of the way. Remember the ones who we fight first don't matter as much because each person not Older Xehanort do not matter even if they are him in other forms. Terra as the lingering will is gonna fight Terranort and get his body back. Riku can fight Ansem who tries to use his darkness and their past against him. Kairi can fight Xion who is noticed to not even be trying and then kairi can be captured to still do the ending they planned for. Xion who now defects can join and fight Larxene Axel can fight Xemnas and lose leaving him almost die while Roxas can jump out and fight him instead Ventus can finally defeat Vanitas Aqua can fight and defeat Xigbar who she has some history with Sora can fight and defeat Luxord so he can give him the card he was going to give. This fight can be more simple than the others and Sora can have to fight against the other Riku Mickey can fight Marluxia Before losing his fight with Xemnas Axel can fight and beat Saix We get to the final battle and while Sora who ran off to find Kairi he has to get through Younger Xehanort to get to the older one.

Look at that clean battle line up. Throw them in the correct order and you can have fights with so many people and even do the stuff needed for it to make the story go smoothly. Everyone gets to be unique and have their day in the sun. The final fight would be sora and gang fighting Xehanort and since the end game would be choose who fights who you can literally have over 120 different fights total if you leave out Donald and Goofy from the sora versions of fights. Heck allow us to fight the final boss final main form and we can in general have even more as we fight him with each character.

17: What is the difference between a heart and a soul? - This is a simple question because they keep saying we don't need the bodies cause we still have their hearts and I'm just having troubles figuring out if the story writers know the damn difference between a heart which is a physical thing or a concept of the soul which is the metaphysical thing. You know like what makes you you.

18: Why doesn't Axel have 2 keyblades? - Like I like that he holds it the way he does, it's very him very unique and all that but if Roxas can have 2 and he gets one from Xion who is no longer a part of him because she is right there than why can't Axel who is specifically a dual wielder of weapons get 2 of them? I mean give the main a sword that is like a Chinese Dao sword combo. It literally is a blade that turns into 2 blades. Like don't even tell me that shit is unable to happen cause Ventus fucking gets that strange keyblade because it is unique to his style so if that is how it works and they all have based on their personality he should have two. Especially since it would be a great call back to my favorite Axel line in the entire series. "Two!?"

19: Clone Riku should not be a boss - Remember when we beat the shit out of Riku as Sora and then Riku clone and then Riku beat Riku clones ass? He's not a challenge. "He was given more darkness powers" Nice, cool cop out there. Fuck you.

20: Why kill everyone just to set up a story line when you could just do it better - So this one is a little subjective. Need sora to meet Chirithy or whatever its name is and maybe set up remind dlc or whatever but in the end you could have just broke his spirit from his body and put him in the other world by making Xehanort who tried taking him over show him everyone dying and it causing Sora to blank out and travel there as a spirit or some shit. It could have worked just as fine allowing the rest of everyone else to go fight the enemies at the end giving sora time to eventually wake up and join in while Donald and Goofy protect him. Then when he wakes up Luxord who could have said "I'll handle the boy when he wakes up could have just did what he wanted to do with the card then. It's just a dumb moment and we could have instead of dumb gameplay where we have to put ourselves back together and have to save everyone and re watch a stupid ass cutscene just watched a cutscene and went back while everyone handled what they needed to.

So before I get into the final 4 parts to get into I hope that you know I was trying to be really fair with a bunch of these and not just looking for things to gripe about. When I didn't understand things I made myself look up to make sure I understood and didn't just bitch about it for the sake of bitching. These last 4 things are kind of in general I beleive super fair.

1: The battles stop as you talk with each person - Nothing kills a fight sequence like starting it, defeating a single enemy in it, talking with a full blown conversation to them, then as they die restart with another fight scene to do it with every single person in the fight. WHY WOULD MARLUXIA AND LARXENE ALLOW LUXORD TO GIVE HIM A CARD? Why would they stop fighting? Why would Ansem, Xemnas, and Young Xehanort watch as one of the others fell and talked? Why would any sane fucking person do that? It makes 0 sense and ruins that boss rush.

2: I know you need to set up another game but fuck you - You literally made the happiest of endings where everything is the best for everyone ever and I MEAN EVERYONE except for Sora and Kairi. Fucking fuck you man. I'm not even mad that that was the ending but when everyone comes up fucking peaches and cream I tend to question the product even if they need to set up story. They can do it better, do what you did at the end of 2 and send a message in a bottle and say "there are still other worlds out there that need us, just not in this universe" or some shit like that. Shit if in general they can have emotions in games than have sora have to jump into the game. You already said my microwave can feel love so than if he can be in that rex universe than he can just go in after he has a nice break with all of his friends.

3: No - Xehanort was not a good guy the entire time. He literally murdered people and stole a childs body and ripped the emotions out of another child and made them not whole. He got a child so angry he murdered his new sorta dad. He pretty much was the whole reason anything bad happened and he was "misguided and wanted to good but did bad to do so". Then in the end he's forgiven and everything is fucking fine? Then he turns into a good guy and goes into the big heart in the sky. This is the kind of writing that literally kills off stories for at least me. Not everyone needs a second chance and sometimes people are just evil. We need stories that have people die at the end sometimes. I know it is fantasy and it can be all rainbows and butterflies but dear god Steven Universe was literally "no you" and that was the end of the entire fucking series. This is the same thing. It might not be "no you" but fuck this ending. This was a story that was supposed to end a 17 year long story and the end of this single part literally spits in the face of people who played it by saying "hey guys, he wasn't bad, he is sorry now". That is complete and utter horse shit. I don't mind that this is not the end of the series. I don't care because if I stuck around this long I would do the same if the story had a satisfying ending. Fuck man in the new game he's even evil then unless that is just how Kairi remembers him but let's face it. The gang would have told her what happened and this is just horse shit in general. This is a fucking stupid story and I literally am fine with alternate realities since time travel and other dumb stuff has been the main name of the game the entire fucking time but let's face it. This is one of the worst ideas for an ending for a villain. The buold up is fucking massive and the payout is just sad.

4: NO - Fucking xigbar. I don't even know how to put this into words how much of a let down it is for Xigbar, Fucking XIGBAR to be the next main enemy. (or at least it looks that way). Fucking we could have had Luxord. We could have had Marluxia. We could have had Demyx. We could have had fucking I don't know Vexen. We could have had fucking anyone but we get Xigbar. You could have slapped any other character onto his scenes and gotten the same amount of out of nowhere shit to explain him being next but it is fucking xigbar. Fucking unreal.

So yeah. That's my massive wrap up on KH3 and I personally do not know where I stand from here. Maybe if the next game doesn't play like shit in 400 years when Nomura gets off his ass and lets us have kingdom hearts 3.76 tie in to 4 which is oddly enough a main title and not a second part of 3 I'll see how it plays. Until then I think I'm gonna sit hereand never touch 3 again and never finish Melody of Memory.

#kingdom hearts #3 #kingdomhearts3 #kh3 #kingdom #hearts #Kindom Hearts 3

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erictmason · 4 years ago

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The Road To “Godzilla VS. Kong”, Day One

KING KONG VS. GODZILLA (AMERICAN VERSION)

Originally Released: June 26th, 1963

Director: Ishiro Honda

Writers: Shinichi Sekizawa, Paul Mason and Bruce Howard

Starring: Tadao Takashima, Kenji Sahara, Ichiro Arashima, Mie Hama, Michael Keith, Harry Halcomb

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“King Kong VS. Godzilla” is a movie whose reputation often precedes it amongst certain circles of Genre Film fans. Even if one is unaware of the convoluted, more than slightly seedy story behind its creation (short version: the original “King Kong”’s special-effects artist, Willis O’Brien, was interested in creating a sequel that would have pitted Kong against a giant animalistic version of the Frakenstein Monster, but shady producer John Beck wound up stealing the idea and, when American studios balked at the project for fear that the use of stop-motion animation to realize the effects work would be too expensive, wound up shopping it to the more cost-effective Toho Studios in Japan, who reconceived it as a new “Godzilla” project in hopes of revitalizing interest in the character), it is still one of the most singularly important Giant Monster Movies ever made. For one thing, it basically defined The Kaiju Movie as we know it today; sure, the original “Gojira” from 1954 (and by extension its Americanized adaptation, “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” in 1956) may have effectively created the genre, but you’ll notice the majority of such movies that exist today are more about Fanciful Title Bouts between two Clashing Monsters rather than somber moody Allegories about the horrors of Nuclear Weapons. For another, it’s the movie that really put Godzilla himself on the map as a Big Star in his own right; at the time, he only had two prior films to his name, and while one of them was the aforementioned genre-creating watershed “Gojira”, the other was “Godzilla’s Counterattack” from 1956, which proved such a box-office disappointment that it put the character into retirement for the better part of a decade (and to give you a sense of just how much less weight the name “Godzilla” carried back then, when that movie was released in America in 1959, it was initially re-titled “Gigantis The Fire Monster”). With “King Kong VS. Godzilla”, however, he would begin to star in more and more movies, building a film franchise that continues to this day.

So it’s a bit of a shame that I’ve never liked it all that much.

To be clear, the “it” in question here is specifically the American version of the movie, which is the one most Western audiences would be familiar with since, until recently, it was the only one readily available to us (though Criterion finally corrected that back in 2019, when they included the original Japanese version of the movie as a bonus feature in their “Showa Era” collector’s set). Certainly, it’s the one that I grew up watching as a kid, when my mom, ever so protective and knowing how easily upset I could be when Fictional Characters I Loved got hurt, made sure to watch ahead to see who exactly won the title match-up (and since it was Kong, I wouldn’t actually get around to finishing my viewing of the movie for a good long while). Back then, of course, I viewed it very much through that childish prism of who I thought should win, and it was exactly the kind of Schoolyard Logic you’d expect: Kong was supposed to be a great deal smaller than Godzilla, and where Godzilla had his iconic fire breath, Kong had no extraordinary powers; Kid Me understandably concluded that this match-up really ought to be a shoe-in for Godzilla, which worked out well since Godzilla just so happened to be the one Kid Me actually cared about. Kid Me was thus quite irritated to discover that, for the sake of this movie, Kong had in fact been significantly sized up and given random electricity-absorbing powers. It felt like cheating to Kid Me, and it left me less than positively disposed towards the film proper.

These days, of course, I’m able to give the film a somewhat fairer shake, though I would be lying if I said that My Inner Childish Fan-Boy is completely quiet on the matter (in particular, it always bothers me that, to emphasize the advantage Kong’s electrical powers give him in their fight, the movie explicitly cites Godzilla’s “vulnerability” to electricity, despite one of the most singularly iconic images of the original “Gojira” being his ability to walk straight through a power-line barricade). Indeed, my most recent re-watch for this very review honestly left me feeling fonder toward it than I was even on my last most recent re-watch (back in 2014, in preparation for the then-upcoming Gareth Edwards “Godzillla”, which we’ll also be getting to in this re-watch soon). The portrayal of the title monsters themselves in particular left me much happier this time around than it has in the past; the design for Godzilla himself- thick around the center with big heavy-browed eyes and what appears to be a constantly self-amused grin, huge sharp claws that dominate the fingers and a tail that moves with a real sense of weight and purpose-took me a long time to warm up to, for example, but these days I would happily cite it as one of the very best of the original series. Kong gets it a bit worse, sadly; the suit they design for him here (a fact that original “Kong” director Merian C. Cooper openly despised, incidentally; the idea of portraying Kong as just some guy in a gorilla costume was one of the things he explicitly set out to avoid in the original movie) has a distinctive enough face if not an especially memorable one, but the costume always looks and feels a bit raggedy, with the sagging pecs and ill-fitted arms (throughout the movie the suit switches between “regular” arms designed to allow the actor mobility, and extended arms to help give it a more ape-like gait; the result is that both versions feel weirdly out of place on the costume a lot of the time) looking especially awkward. However, even beyond how they look, the way the monsters act is genuinely enjoyable, with Haruo Nakajima as Godzilla and Shoichi Hirose as Kong both putting in fantastic performances that imbue them with a great sense of personality that is just consistently delightful all movie long. Whether it’s Godzilla hopping around, arms flailing in triumph whenever he manages to pull off another victory, or Kong drunkenly swallowing up giant pots’ worth of a narcotic usd to keep him docile, the movie very visibly delights in imbuing these creatures with fun foibles, and It’s no coincidence that the it’s at its strongest, not so much when the monsters are fighting, but when they are simply interacting as actual Characters: Godzilla here feels often like a particularly arrogant, boundlessly-energized child, while Kong is a bit more confused and subdued but quick to anger when irritated; their first meeting, when both these strong visible personalities most openly bounce off each other, is unquestionably my favorite moment of the movie.

The rest of it isn’t exactly bad, per se, but it is a lot less entertaining. Some of that is simply what the American version inherited from the Japanese original, not least of all the noxiously racist portrayal of the Natives living on a remote pacific island with Kong (here named “Faro Island” for some reason instead of the usual “Skull Island”). On top of the sins it recreates from the original “King Kong” (a fairly ooga-booga understanding of What Islanders Are Like, all of whom are portrayed by non-Native actors slathered in brownface make-up), it also includes a decently insulting bit wherein the initially-hostile islanders are pacified by the introduction of “magic” in the form of a hand-held radio and cartons of cigarettes. There’s also the fact that the plot is driven almost entirely by Random Contrivance rather than anything that flows naturally from either the characters or the premise; Godzilla and Kong have no real compelling reason to meet, let alone fight, other than the pure coincidence of their both happening to be active at around the same time in the same part of the world (the American version attempts to ameliorate this somewhat by stating that the two are “instinctive rivals” who will be “naturally driven to destroy one another”, but that flimsy lip-service to Motivation just winds up making the otherwise-arbitrary plotting feel all the worse), and we are constantly bombarded by Total Coincidences as a way of shuffling the characters around from place to place with dizzying frequency. But some of those troubles are only exacerbated by the approach the American version has taken to the material. We’ll talk about this more tomorrow, but the Japanese “King Kong VS. Godzilla” is, at heart, a Satirical Comedy; this, unsurprisingly, was not an idea that went over well with Universal Studios in America, who chose to try and reshape that comedy into a more traditional Monster Movie. An understandable objective, but not one the Japanese cut of the film made easy to achieve; to avoid the most overt Comic bits meant cutting almost all of the human characters in the film (most notably the eccentric executive Mr. Tako, played by Ichiro Arishima) down to only their most essential appearances, which in turn means that they all wind up feeling vaguely undefined and out of place in their own story (this feels especially true of our ostensible main character, Tadao Takashima‘s Sakurai, who is present enough to FEEL like a main character but has little left to do in this cut of the film). To make up the weight of all that cut footage, meanwhile, we get gobs of new footage consisting mostly of Michael Keith as a United Nations reporter talking at us in the most stultifying way possible, often joined by Harry Holcombe as an equally stultifying scientist (who apparently gets his knowledge of dinosaurs primarily from children’s picture books, which in fairness would explain a lot of the nonsense he ends up saying), though he also frequently talks with a fellow reporter played by James Yagi. These scenes are not, perhaps, without their charms, but they also deaden the movie’s pacing, especially since nine times out of ten they exist mostly to reiterate stuff we already know because it literally just happened. Given how much a faster pace seems to be one of the American cut’s top priorities (a sub-plot from the Japanese version about a submarine inadvertently encountering Godzilla is reduced to a single sequence for this version), that choice proves a counterintuitive one.

Because the other major problem with the American approach to this movie is that, to be frank, the Monster Action is nowhere near Epic enough to bear the weight this new cut puts on it. Again, it’s not without its merits; Godzilla and Kong’s outsized personalities do a lot to lend even the less effective sequences a certain fun spirit, and there is still an unmistakably strong sense of craftsmanship to the miniatures used throughout the movie to create the appropriate sense of scale for our Monsters to play around in (the demolition of a recreation of Atami Castle shines a spotlight on that very fact). But in terms of both their scope and their choreography, there’s just not enough There there; far too often, “King Kong VS. Godzilla”’s Big Marquee Action Scenes amount to the monsters just sort of lazily throwing rocks at each other, or else engaging in less-interesting recreations of their previous Iconic Moments (Kong especially goes through a truncated version of his original appearance’s third act, though here he ends up on top of the National Diet Building rather than the Empire State Building). That’s slightly less of a problem in the Japanese version; again, there, the main thrust of the film lies in its comedy, and thus the Monster Action being relatively lightweight is less of a hinderance and more a spicy Flavoring to the main story. But here, it is the main story, and while it’s pretty clear some real love went into the Effects Work (the puppetry especially is very solid; there are a few instances where the switch from Suit Actor to Puppet for Godzilla is borderline seamless, and I also enjoy the decently-animated feel of Kong’s facial puppet as well) it ultimately doesn’t have nearly enough substance to fill that role. This comes through especially clearly in the Final Showdown between the monsters; again, there is some deservedly iconic stuff here (Kong trying to shove a tree down Godzilla’s throat only to have it rebuffed in a puff of flames has become an impressively-enduring Meme for a reason) but, much like most of the story, winds up being driven far more by Contrivance than anything clever or satisfying (a bit where Kong knocks himself over feels especially annoying for how unmotivated it seems to be). It was always going to be a tall order to make a match-up with as much implicit weight to it (both metaphorical and literal) live up to the heightened expectations placed on it, maybe. But even taking that into account, it’s hard not to feel like “King Kong VS. Godzilla” could have put a little more effort into things.

Still, I was saying, at the start, that I walked away from “King Kong VS. Godzilla” happier this time than in many of my past viewings. And that is ultimately true: for as much as I find myself often wishing it could be a different movie, the movie it actually is already does manage to work decently well on its own terms. The dub-work here in particular honestly deserves notice; in contrast to the standardized casts Toho would start using for most of its “Godzilla” movies moving forward, here we get a more distinctive sounding voice-cast who manage to put some real Life into their performances (the voice they give to Kenji Sahara’s Fujita stands out especially to me, nasally and over-earnest but capable of some real Fire when the moment calls for it, as befits the character). And, again, whatever my beef with the Action Scenes, the actual portrayal of the Monsters really is uniquely fun (indeed, given how many other elements Toho would consistently crib from it, I’m often surprised that Godzilla’s distinctive body language throughout isn’t one of them), which winds up giving the movie enough Real Heart in the end to make it a positive Experience overall, even against the stuff that even now stands out to me as Not Up To Snuff. At the very least, it’s a lot easier for me to recognize how and why this movie created the Legacy it did, even if the American Version makes a bit more of a mess out of it.

#godzilla #king kong #godzilla vs. kong #kaiju #theroadtogvk #movies #review #ericthemason #my writing #king kong vs. godzilla

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mobius-prime · 5 years ago

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235. Sonic the Hedgehog #167

Mobius 25 Years Later (Part Two): Tempus Aeternus

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley Colors: Jason Jensen

Lien-Da is incredibly happy with herself on this fine evening, sipping a glass of wine and bragging about how she and King Shadow orchestrated the arrests of Tails, Lara-Su and Sonic, and how as a result she's had a hand in "bringing down the line of Edmund." Rutan watches silently from the nearby stairs, looking conflicted and upset, while Dimitri (still confined to being a head in a bubble) coldly remarks at how ashamed he is to be related to her due to her behavior, even more ashamed than when he in the past worked with Dr. Finitevus. Wait, what?! That hasn't happened yet! A hint of what is to come in the main comic, perhaps…? After all, though Lien-Da implied that Dimitri was dead during the Return to Angel Island arc, we know he can't actually be if he appears in this future. In the dungeons beneath the castle, Sonic, Tails, and Lara-Su have been chained up next to a despondent Rotor. He is frustrated that the three of them don't seem to be taking their position seriously, as the first two mostly joke around about this "bringing back memories" while Lara-Su complains that Rutan will make fun of her for all this. At that moment, Knuckles walks in, looking very stern.

What, did you think Knuckles was gonna be the villain of this piece? Nah, he has way too heroic of a spirit to end up like that! (I mean, so does Shadow, but we already saw how that's being ignored in this arc, so.) Apparently, he was even counting on Lara-Su to overhear his conversation with Tails, precisely so that she would rebel and allow him to set up a coup like this without Shadow realizing that his head enforcer wasn't loyal. Tails says that he'll hack the castle's security systems to allow the others to get a clear path to the throne room, and Knuckles says he'll keep Queen Sally safe while Sonic battles Shadow. Lara-Su wants to come along, but Knuckles convinces her that now the best way for her to help is to get the injured Rotor to a hospital, which she reluctantly agrees to. Sonic and Knuckles race along the hallways to the throne room, where Sally quickly follows Knuckles to safety. Apparently, she too seems to know about the other timeline, surprised that her husband does as well. With Sally safe, Sonic tries to attack Shadow, but his punch has barely any force behind it.

Ouch. I mean, yeah, saw it coming, but ouch. Things are looking bad, until suddenly Lara-Su bursts in, ready to continue the fight on her own terms. Shadow becomes irritated at her smack-talk, and reminds her that he wields Chaos powers, only for her fist to glow as she smugly invites him to "join the club." Shadow tries to fire off some Chaos Spears in her direction, but she merely dodges them while reciting Tikal's prayer (you know, the "Chaos is power enriched by the heart" one) and performs a Chaos Control, freezing Shadow in place.

Bit of an ignoble ending to Shadow's story, don't you think? I said it last issue, but again, I'm really not okay with how this AU just wants to turn Shadow into this brutal villain. I mean, especially considering his whole character arc in the games - the only times he ever acts truly violent and uncaring of others' wellbeing is when he's being manipulated by an actual villain or otherwise brainwashed, and once he discovers who he truly is he's never anything less than a goddamn hero. I just think that turning Shadow the Hedgehog into Shadow the Evil Dictator is doing a huge disservice to him as a character, and not even bothering to try to work in an ending where he realizes the error of his ways is at this point just spitting in his face.

Meh, whatever. Knuckles comes running back in, concerned, but Lara-Su just excitedly informs him of how she defeated Shadow. She then says a seemingly nonsensical line about how she "already took care of him" that only makes sense if you assume that Knuckles asked her something along the lines of "But I thought you were taking Rotor to the hospital," so I can only guess that they forgot to include that dialogue bubble. Sally and Sonic walk into the next room, and she tells Sonic how Knuckles explained all the timeline shenaningans to her, and how she always felt that something wasn't right all these years. She then awkwardly explains that she never married Shadow for love, but only to try to bring stability to her kingdom. Frankly, I find that to be a pile of crap. Sally Acorn, the lifelong ringleader of the rebellion against not one but two different Robotniks, passively married an evil autocrat who likes to use torture on his enemies? Not fricking likely. Sally would have been at the head of the resistance against Shadow from the very start. It seems that even under a different writer, Mobius 25 Years Later is doomed to have every member of its cast acting completely out of character.

Wow, it's that easy to get back together after twenty-five years apart? *sigh* Look, I think the reason this two-part arc fails is because it's ultimately working off an already-flawed base. I understand that some closure needed to be brought to the tangled mess that Kenders set up at the beginning of this era, but hell, I think it could have been done a lot better. Some people do like the whole King Shadow and dystopian future thing, but personally, I think it's just as inexplicable and out of character as everything in Kenders' version of events. I'm just glad to be done with it, as next issue we actually get to go back to the normal, interesting stuff.

Hedgehog Day

Writer: R. Chacon Pencils: Dave Manak Colors: Josh Ray

Well, we do have this little story before that happens. Apparently everyone in Knothole has decided to put together a second birthday celebration for Sonic several days after the previous one, the one Scourge crashed. Sonic wakes up at 10am on the morning of the make-up party, and begins his morning routine as his alarm clock informs him that Mina's latest hit "Soldier Boy" has just finished playing (note that this issue came out one year before "Soulja Boy" was released, so it's not a reference), that it's going to be in the mid-70s (Fahrenheit) today, and that many important people will be at the celebration such as the king and queen and Mina herself. However, the announcer on the radio then says that everyone is wondering where Sonic is as the party has already started, which wakes Sonic up out of his sleepy daze. He realizes that he accidentally set his alarm for the time the party was to start rather than when he actually wanted to wake up, and rushes to get ready, racing out the door and nearly barreling into a bunch of reporters looking for him.

Ouch! Well, at least there's always tomorrow, right? The next morning, Sonic wakes up at 10am on the morning of the make-up party, and begins his morning routine as his alarm clock informs him that Mina's latest hit "Soldier Boy" has just finished playing, that it's going to be in the mid-70s today, and that many important people will be at the celebration such as the king and queen and Mina herself. However, the announcer on the radio then says that everyone is wondering where Sonic is as the party has already started, which wakes Sonic up out of his sleepy daze. He realizes that he accidentally set his alarm for the time the party was to start rather than when he actually wanted to wake up, and rushes to get ready. However, he hesitates before he races out the front door, struck by a strange suspicion that there's reporters outside waiting for him.

Hmm, something's a bit fishy here… The next next morning, Sonic wakes up and shuts off his alarm, a bit disappointed that he didn't wake up in time to listen to "Soldier Boy." He asks the alarm clock if it's going to be in the 70s for his party today, and the announcer dutifully reports that it will be, repeating the same spiel from the past two mornings.

I mean, maybe if you walked instead of ran, you might make it there in one piece, bro. But then again, this is Sonic we're talking about. He buries himself back under the covers to avoid the prying eyes of reporters looking in through his windows, but that doesn't stop them. They start looking for another entrance, ultimately climbing on top of his roof, which buckles and collapses under their weight. This time, Sonic isn't the only one stuck in the hospital, as all the reporters are injured from their fall as well. Finally, the next next next morning, Sonic has had enough and wakes up three hours before his celebration, making his way there and sitting in one of the folding chairs as everyone sets up around him, confident that now, there's no way he can miss the party!

Though the title of the story is a parody on the movie Groundhog Day, I do find it kind of funny that despite this clearly seeming like another fantastical and silly plot device, stuff like this actually does happen to people. They're called false awakenings, and consist of dreaming that you wake up and perform your morning routine, only to then "wake up" into another similar dream, and this repeats until you finally do regain consciousness for real. They can also be paired with stress dreams, meaning that you might wake up in a panic that you're late for school or work, only to wake up into the same situation again and again in a bizarre loop. So, in a way, this story is actually one of the most realistic in the entire comic! I'm sure that wasn't the intention, but the point still stands!

#nala reads archie sonic preboot #archie sonic #archie sonic preboot #sonic the hedgehog #sth 167 #writer: ian flynn #writer: romy chacon #pencils: tracy yardley #pencils: dave manak #colors: jason jensen #colors: joshua d ray

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celticheartedfangirl · 5 years ago

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My OUAT Rewatch -- S4E22 and 23 -- Operation Mongoose, Parts 1 & 2

Link to Rewatch Review and Ranking archive

Bobby looks about as done with this season as I am. I know Michael Socha was done with it -- literally -- but we’ll get to that later.

This is gonna be long. So have a seat, pour yourself a drink or seven, and get ready. I’m not holding back . . . . . .

First of all, I debated about whether I should review this as one or two episodes. I decided to go with one, and will do this going forward with any episodes that have the same title and are part 1,2, 8 million, whatever. Trust me, at times it SEEMED like 8 million.

First thing I want to address is a bunch of fandom wank nonsense that came out of this episode -- namely the idea that RUMPLE wrote the story. Let me make this perfectly clear:

Rumple DID NOT WRITE THIS STORY. Isaac did. Rumple told him what HE, personally, wanted. Isaac took it from there. Rumple didn’t write Isaac as a famous douchebag author, and he sure as hell wouldn’t have given fucking ZELENA a wedding in the story, he’d have killed her off in a painful but well-deserved death. Ditto Hook. So if you still actually think Rumple wrote this story, my recommendation to you is that you back out of this post now. And you should probably stay off my blog in general. Because frankly, I think you are wrong and stupid and we are not compatible in any way. Got it?

Looking at YOU, some RUMBELLE FANS who actually did this shit:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118193570842/i-am-stunned-to-see-some-rumbelle-fans-bitching

Okay, so there’s THAT. Next . . .

So this episode was A&E’s attempt at META. And frankly, they SUCK at it. It didn’t come off as funny, it came off as making fun of the fans. No spoilers, ha ha ha . . . . . . . for those not in the know, back when the show was airing, Adam’s go to answer to fans on Twitter was #nospoilers. So the whole Isaac so thing was basically a dig at the FANS.

So there’s THAT.

The entertainment media was shitting all over Rumbelle before the finale, which pissed me off enough to make this post:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118484723732/when-and-why-exactly-did-rumbelle-become-the

And this comment:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118467157702/ouat-finale-your-burning-relationship-questions

And then there’s THIS:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118658755342/omg-ae-dig-the-knife-in-why-dont-you

Yes, in case you weren’t clear, dead is DEAD (we’ll revisit this thought in S5), Neal ain’t coming back, suck on it all of you who don’t like that! Love, Adam and Eddy.

Also, in other bullshit news, regarding who taught Henry to sail a ship:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118655893997/henry-no-your-father-taught-you-that

And THIS:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/118660507567/what-the-fuck-they-left-rumple-on-the-floor-but

Revisiting May 2015 me is making current me stabby. And I haven’t even mentioned the entire town of dumbasses herp-derping around and partying at Granny’s while Rumple is dying and could be a meat suit for the ultimate evil of all evils any second now. Morons.

Let’s talk about the stuff I DID enjoy . . . .

Evil Snow was a riot!

Bandit!Regina was fantastic.

And this guy:

Gotta love Knight!Rumple!

Also, I will admit . . . . . Hook was more useful in useless mode in the AU than he’s ever been in Hook mode outside of the AU. Does that make sense?

So there’s all of that. Overall this 2-part thing was part good stuff, mostly hot mess, and a lot of middle fingers waved to the fans from the writers. But tally comes later. NOW is the time to address the Michael Socha issue:

Right about now, dearie. Will Scarlett is gone. You will never see him or hear about him again.

(Side note: Made an error in my last review. I honestly did not remember AT ALL that we saw Lily again in this episode, both in person form or in dragon form. Which tells you how much of an impression that made on me. Anyhoo, my bad. I goofed. NOW she’s gone for good.)

So what was the deal with Will Scarlett anyway?

Well . . . . nobody knows. We’ll probably NEVER know. You see, Will Scarlett was one of the breakout characters from the spinoff Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, and when that got canceled, someone -- really not sure who -- thought it’d be an awesome idea to plunk him onto OUAT.

There were many schools of thought on this, the primary one being that ABC wanted him for something and wanted to keep him on contract. That was 2014. I’m typing this in 2020, and there’s still no Michael Socha show on ABC. So that was a load of horse shit -- or else Socha told ABC to fuck off and hightailed it back to England. My money is on the latter.

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/115784240042/honest-question-why-did-they-bring-will-onto

But the issue isn’t even that they didn’t do fuck-all with Socha -- it’s the LIES that these assholes (they being A&E) told. So here’s where my receipts come in. You ready? Got your popcorn?

First of all there’s this lovely article -- Will is mentioned by all of it is just glorious in general:

https://oncecrazy.tumblr.com/post/118843079631/the-26-things-the-castwriters-promised-would

What is so HIGHlarious about all of this is that almost all of the articles that existed about the whole Will Scarlett thing -- no longer EXIST!

The highlight is Zap2it -- which is a now defunct fan site that A&E liked to go prattle to.

So Frick and Frack promised us we’d find out how Belle & Will got together. I have this:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/424464333605771793/#

And I have this:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/113163777872/once-upon-a-time-belle-and-the-knave-are-a-new

I also have a bunch of people I KNOW can confirm they saw this interview full of bullshit before it got erased. Please show yourselves!

But fear not -- I have an ACTUAL receipt from Mr. Socha himself:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/140658788782/apparently-michael-socha-got-screwed-over-by-ouat

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/140624375357/hes-a-good-bloke-i-saw-him-at-the-comic-con

I’m grateful someone had the idea to type it out, because sadly the link to that article was DELETED, which makes me think Socha got in trouble for that interview. Because shortly after that, a more watered down interview with him was posted in its place and THAT is still up:

https://www.digitalspy.com/tv/ustv/a785951/michael-socha-confirms-once-upon-a-time-exit/

Interesting, no?

Whatever the case -- Socha got royally fucked over by OUAT, for no good reason. His character was a plot device. What a waste and what an insult to the man who just wanted to work. Fuck these assholes.

So anyhow, there are the receipts, and we are now at the end of the clusterfuck that was Season 4.

Speaking of clusterfucks . . . . onward to Season 5.

Lord, give me strength . . . . .

Points tally:

40 points to start

10 points for Rumbelle kiss

10 points for Rumbelle hug

5 points for Swan Queen

3 points for Papafire, at least it got mentioned

5 points for Belle in character

5 points for Rumple in character

5 points deducted for Hook

5 points deducted for Zelena

I really can’t justify adding or deducting anything bonus. Just get me out of this season, please and thank you.

Total points: 68

Follow #celtichearted OUAT ranking tag for more to come!

#celtichearted ouat ranking #operation mongoose #anti hook #anti zelena #anti ouat writers #ouat criticism

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royaltealovingkookiness · 6 years ago

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ATLA fic rec master-list

A place to organize the ATLA fanfic I like.

I tend to like Zuko-centric stuff, and stories that focus not exclusively on romance (though I do read many different ships as well). As it will become apparent, my taste is rather eclectic, so there can be things in it for everyone.

Most links are to AO3, I just prefer it that much to the layout of ffnet. Also, if I haven’t tagged someone in Tumblr correctly, please give me a shout.

General AUs / Gaang/ adventure (various ships)

The Worst Prisoner by @emletish-fish (WIP) (Zutara) - in this AU starting already from S1, Zuko becomes friends with the Gaang much, much sooner, which means there is lots of amazing

Zuko’s Tiny Dilemma by @botherkupo (slight Zutara) S1 Zuko agebending story featuring Iroh as a teapot! Tiny, grumpy Zuko gets the Mumtara treatment and has great Gaang content. It sweet and funny. Now with an Azula-centric spin-off No Returns, No Refunds

The Undying Fire series by @botherkupo - (there are some ships, but the main focus is Gen) This is an epic Zuko is a firehealer, AU starting with The Blue Spirit, and spanning through each season. Extremely good, lots of Gaang focus, great Aang and Zuko friendship vibes and so much more. I don’t want to spoil it, other than, if you haven’t read it, go read it now!

Another Brother by @awesomeavocadolove (Gen, WIP) Zuko is adopted by Hakoda, grows up as WaterTribe, as another sibling of Sokka and Katara.

The Avatar Makes Three by @awesomeavocadolove (Gen, WIP) - Aang loses, but before he dies, he divides the Avatar spirit between Zuko, Katara and Toph.

Ozymandias, King of Kings by @Think_of_a_Wonderful_Thought (WIP) - (Zuko/Sokka) This is a pretty dark AU, where instead of exile, Zuko was sent to a work camp before he’s freed by Aang and the others. The Zuko of this story is a pretty traumatized fellow, who is simply sick of everything.

Southern Lights by @colourwhirled - (WIP, it’s Zutara, but it’s so much more). An AU world, where the Avatar has disappeared, the empire won the war. Iroh sets up a specialized unit with a chill airbender, a waterbending prodigy, a run away earth-bender and a banished prince. There is politics, intrigue, adventure, cross-bending, and while the world is different the characters remain very recognizable.)

In His Shoes by @awesomeavocadolove (Zuko/Sokka) It’s a bodyswap AU in Ba Sing Se. I love Ba Sing Se era Zuko and I love any AU where the Gaang sees this version of him.

We Ourselves Must Walk the Path by @winterskywrites (Gen) - short S3 AU where the Gaang really takes Zuko as prisoner in The Western Air Temple.

Fight by Electrons (Gen, WIP ) Zuko chooses differently in Ba Sing Se - now he’s the Gaang’s tour-guide to the Fire Nation. Lots of world-building around the Fire Nation. The story is on hiatus, but it’s still well-worth a read.

Unchained Melody by @awesomeavocadolove (WIP) (Zuko/Sokka), Sokka is stuck in spirit form, only Zuko can see him, S1 AU where Zuko and spirit-form Sokka are forced to hang out together. I mean how could it be wrong?

Little Zuko v the World by @muffinlance (Gen, WIP) Zuko finds Aang when they are both 12 in this S1 AU, which is written with a sweet humour.

Fate Deferred by @catie-does-things (WIP, Zutara) In this story Aang sleeps for another ten years before Zuko and Katara find him. It’s a story of Dadko and Momtara taking Aang to get his training in a world that ended up in a very different way after Sozin’s comet. It weaves together past and present masterfully and it’s as fun to follow the new adventures as it is to follow the past story of Zuko and Katara and see how things ended up as they are.

A Tale of Ice and Water by @soopersara (WIP) (pre-Zutara) - a canon-close AU featuring Avatar Katara, who still finds Aang in the ice.

Zutara

Frozen @Aris Merquoni - The ultimate Zuko gets captured at the North Pole fic.

The Descent @chromeknickers - S1 AU - Katara goes down to the spirit world to drag Zuko back to the living. A cranky waterbender, a pissed-off pony-tailed spirit and a very vivid spirit world.

The Fifth Coloumn @chromeknickers (post-series Assassin AU) Katara is imprisoned by a secret society. A mysterious assassin infiltrates them. This has some dark / mature themes, but a fantastic story overall.

Once Around the Sun by Eleventy7 An amazing post-series eventual Zutara story, focused on Katara, Zuko and Azula. It’s a journey, both inside and out and it is amazing. Soul-searching, bonding, changing, adventure.

Mending Wounds by FictionIsSocialInquiry S2 AU, post-Chase. While lost in the Foggy Swamp, searching for her brother and her Avatar, Katara is haunted by visions of the Fire Nation's disgraced prince. Visions of peace after war, visions of honour and secrets...Katara has some interesting visions in the Swamp)

Stalking Zuko by @emletish-fish Oldie but goldie, Zuko joins the Gaang, Katara takes up stalking. Sweet, funny Zutara fic from the Western Air Temple days.

I Don’t Speak Meow Language by @botherkupo (Boogum) Ba Sing Se-era, Zuko is a tea-server, Katara is a feisty cat AU - sweet, sweet silliness (I adore any fic where anyone from the Gaang gets to see up-close and personal, the sweet, awkward mess tea-shop Zuko is and you can’t get much closer than being a cat)

The Little Adentures of Katara (and One Giant Prince) by @botherkupo (WIP) An early S3 AU where a tiny Katara is stuck with her big princely saviour. I love this one because it gives a rare glimpse into Zuko’s palace life through Katara’s eyes, at the time when Zuko returns to the Fire Nation.

so let us melt, and make no noise by littleloststar - a very moody AU, where Zuko is haunting for the last waterbender and Katara lives alone in an ice-palace. It feels like a Nordic myth with swirling snow and lots of darkness and ice.

Fire Nation Royal Family

Lovable by LadyCharity (Zutara) A very emotional post-series Zuko & Azula story, which is also a Zutara story.

Azula’s Search by crowleyhouseplant (series) (slight TyZula)This story is just my absolute favourite post-series Azula-centric story, featuring an epic Azula/Mai/TyLee/Suki roadtrip to look for clues about Ursa. There is a little background Maiko and TyZula, but it is mostly about Azula’s road to redemption.

The Suns Inside of Us by @crowleyhouseplant - (WIP) this is a sequel to Azula’s Search as she keeps searching her lost firebending, and perhaps her redemption, as she’s trying to figure out her place in the post-series reality, her relationship with Zuko, Mai, Ty Lee and others, but above all, herself.

Call “Uncle” by @jaggedcliffs - (one-shot, Gen) The Gaang slowly adopts Iroh as everyone’s uncle.

Decorum by @sometimeswarrior (Gen) writes many good Iroh-centric one-shots. This one with Iroh & Ozai after the agni kai is my favourite.

stained in tea-colours by sangi - (one-shot, Gen) After the War, Azula eventually comes to live in Ba Sing Se with Iroh. A soulful story about Iroh, Azula and Zuko, and all the wounds they carry and the ties that bind them. It is a fantastic take on post-series Azula and her relationship with Iroh. Sangi has many great one-shots on the Fire Nation Royals, and they are really worth checking out.

There All the Honour Lies by @shastafirecracker (Gen) Iroh & Zuko oneshot, about the immediate aftermath of the Agni kai

our curse by @gaynasas and the last dragon by @runrundoyourstuff (Gen) OK, these are very dark, but very good takes on what would have happened if Ozai made a different decision about Iroh’s fate post S-2. Check out the tags before reading!

Choices by @catie-does-things (Gen) Very interesting one-shot looking at Aang’s decision to spare Ozai’s life from the perspective of Zuko who now has to decide his fate.

Bloodline by monpetitpois (Gen) Multi-generation history of the Fire Nation Royals starting with Sozin to Izumi. It’s well written and in character and has a lovely forcus on Zuko’s and Izumi’s relationship. Character-focused, canon-compliant.

Zuko-centric (various ships & friendships)

the beginning of a new and brighter birth by @captainkirkk (aloneintherain) (Gen) My favourite take on post-series Zuko becoming Fire-Lord. None of that comic nonsense. Very solid political plot, lots of heart and really it’s just the story that had to be told.

The Problem With Zuko by avocadolove (Gen) AU where Lu Ten didn’t die, and Zuko is just an overlooked lesser prince. He is put in charge of imprisoning Aang and his companions.

The Revenant by @achievement-bender (Gen) Zuko helps the Gaang, but in a very different way. A sad, but so good, Ghost!Zuko story. (check out the rest of their stuff - I also love Catch and Release, which is an AU where the Blue Spirit gets captured by Zhao

ribs by @gaynasas (oneshot) (Gen) There are simply not enough Zuko & Aang friendship stories in the world. This one is a great one about bonding over firebending and learning about Zuko’s scars. All of her stuff is very well written and worth reading.

a night at the theatre by @captainkirkk (one-shot) (Gen) Fire Lord Zuko meets the Ember Island Players

A Candle to a Dragon by @achievement-bender (WIP) (Gen) Non-bender Zuko AU. Wow, what a ride with a bookish, sweet, heartbroken Zuko, training with Piandao as he’s trying to figure out who he is without bending in a family of prodigies.

Heartlines by @kuchee (WIP) Zuko loves Katara. Katara loves Zuko. Aang loves Katara. Katara loves Aang. Aang loves Zuko. Zuko loves Aang. It doesn’t have to be a love triangle if everyone has two hands? A lovely Zuko/Katara/Aang OT3 with lots of pining set during a post-series Earth Kingdom natural disaster.

Antebellum by @veliseraptor (Gen) A Zuko & Aang friendship oneshot (did I mention I have a thing for these? Set during the Western Air Temple days.

Towards the Sun by @muffinlance - (Gen, WIP) Zuko is Fire Lord AU - Zuko got imprisoned on the Day of the Black Sun, so never joined the Gaang. After Ozai’s defeat, he becomes Fire Lord by default. So when the Gaang and Iroh show up to hammer out peace, things get complicated. (WIP)

Home We’ll Go by themanofmanyhats - (Gen) This is a post-war take on Zuko’s path crossing again with Lee and his family from Zuko Alone. What can I say? Post-war Earth Kingdom reveals are my jam.

there is fire in me by @suzukiblu - (Gen) - Firebender!Jet with Ba Sing Se era Zuko and Sokka makes for a very unlikely, but great bonding story

Modern AUs

Pulse by @isnt_it_pretty I rarely read modern AUs, but this one caught my eye. It is set in a modern era, but the characters feel really on spot. Warning! it’s super angsty

Welcome Heat by @cowlicklesschick - (Zutara, Sukka) firefighter Zuko and pre-med Katara, with a good side helping of sweet Sokka & Suki romance. It’s fluffy with just the right amount angst, and a reimagined modern world where all the characters fit right in.

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#atla #atla fanfic #fanfic recs #to be updated regularly #housekeeping #masterlist #atla fanfic recs #rtk #cleaned up version #fixed 07.08.09

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antialiasis · 5 years ago

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Dumbo

Before I convinced Shadey I wanted to watch it before seeing the remake, I actually had not ever seen the original Dumbo and had only the vaguest idea what happens in it. Watching it for the first time now was kind of fascinating. Even aside from the jarring old-timey racist bits, there's something really distinctly old-fashioned about its style and storytelling - a crystal-clear sense that this is a movie from back when animation was still relatively new and mostly comedic shorts rather than serious narratives, and it would never play out the way it does if it were being made today.

For example, Casey Jr. the train is randomly animate, where no other objects are; this seems a fantastically weird choice today, when we generally expect that objects are not alive and don't talk unless it's a movie about objects being alive, but in Dumbo, they just sort of casually made this one steam engine sentient, just because they wanted to animate a lively steam engine. The animation has an exaggerated style where everything moves and squashes and stretches as much as possible, because look, we're making drawings and they can move! Animated storks - not representations, but the actual storks - fly over a map of the US complete with names written on it, as if this were literally what it looks like - it's weird and quirky and exactly like something that'd be in old animated shorts and exactly like something that wouldn't be in modern animated movies.

The actual story is structured really strangely. The movie is only 64 minutes long. It opens with a fairly long sequence, I think literally ten or fifteen minutes, about a stork delivering Dumbo to his mother and singing happy birthday to him. None of this is in any way relevant to the rest of the film, beyond the fact that Dumbo was born; it's just a cute sequence that they thought of. After this, Dumbo is mocked and made fun of, his mother is locked up for trying to defend him, and Timothy the mouse befriends Dumbo and inspires the ringmaster to make him the centerpiece of a new act, which is only all the more humiliating and miserable. Dumbo is briefly comforted by his imprisoned mother before unknowingly drinking some alcohol-laced water, hallucinating the highly disturbing "Pink Elephants on Parade" song, and then waking up in a tree. By the time we actually see Dumbo fly, with the help of a supposedly magic feather, there are only a couple of minutes left of the runtime. Immediately they go back to the circus, Dumbo tries to fly during his act only to drop the feather, Timothy tells him in mid-air that the feather wasn't actually magic, Dumbo successfully flies without it, and then it's closing credits montage time. The montage shows that Dumbo and his mother stay with the circus, despite how abusive they consistently were to them, only he's famous and privileged now so it's fine, I guess.

Whatever you think of the original film, I immediately pinpointed several things I expected would definitely be different in a modern retelling. In any conventional modern movie, Dumbo would learn to fly much earlier; he'd spend some significant time believing that he could only fly because of the feather, the revelation that the power to fly was inside him all along would be during the climax, and surely after that we'd actually see Dumbo using his feather-free flying ability in some heroic way - to save his mom, say. And he'd definitely not be made to stay at the circus at the end, unless we got to see some concrete evidence that the circus had changed: the circus people in the original were one-dimensional assholes, and by any system of morality that doesn't just sort of automatically assume that animals exist for human entertainment, he should have ditched them.

Tim Burton's live-action remake made all the changes I'd been expecting - but also a whole lot more that just kind of baffled me. The original Dumbo is clearly mostly a story about bullying and ostracism, in that fairly conventional form where it turns out the feature everyone bullied Dumbo for actually gives him a special enviable talent - and mostly, Dumbo is ostracized by the other elephants. The story is mostly about the interactions between the animals, who comprise most of the speaking cast, though Dumbo himself doesn't speak. In the remake, though, for some baffling reason they decided to make the animals nonverbal in general. Instead, a host of human characters are added - the circus performers are meant to be sympathetic, one of them is a tragic army man whose wife died with two children who serve as the main protagonists, there's an amusement park owner villain, a rich banker... Meanwhile, Timothy Q. Mouse, the deuteragonist of the original, is relegated to a tiny cameo as a regular mouse in a cage. There are no other elephants (or I don't think so? If there are, they are nonentities). Dumbo is ostracized and mistreated only by humans - but that just doesn't quite have the same meaning as him being rejected by his own kind.

Instead, a loose adaptation of the original film (save the revelation that he doesn't need the feather) takes place within the first half of the movie, and the second half is an entirely new plot about the circus being overtaken by an evil corporation that wants to make Dumbo do shows at their giant theme park. At the end, the kids and the circus people help Dumbo and his mother escape to India, the entire theme park burns down, and the circus becomes independent again and stops mistreating animals. The overall theme isn't really about bullying at all; it's more about the idea of the weirdos and misfits coming together and supporting each other against the cruel, conventional mainstream. That's a fine theme in itself, but it's very much not the theme of the original Dumbo.

As an adaptation, therefore, it's a strange one. It isn't telling the same core story - some of the same events are involved, but it's just not at all about the same thing as the original. As its own independent film... well, it's still a pretty strange and confused one, rooted in cliché, and full of things that are just obvious frustrating nonsense. The circus gets a full tent of people excited to see a regular old baby elephant, and they think Dumbo's adorable; then they see his adorably huge ears and... not only does the entire tent of people start loudly mocking him, they start chanting "Dumbo, Dumbo, fake, fake, fake!" What on God's green Earth. For one thing, Dumbo's ears obviously only make him cuter, who are you people. For another, why would you loudly jeer at a fucking baby elephant, what is wrong with you. But perhaps most audaciously... even if Dumbo's ears weren't real (and why would you think they're fake, when the circus had initially made every effort to cover them up), he is still a goddamned baby elephant, exactly what they came here to see! What are you complaining about! In the original Dumbo, the people are pretty simplistic and cartoony in behaviour, but he got laughed at when he tripped over his ears into a puddle, and then there were a few asshole teenagers making fun of the ears - not this entire audience of bizarre aliens in human suits just all getting together to bully a baby animal.

It's all like this - just the weirdest writing choices. The feather doesn't work psychologically on Dumbo by convincing him that he can fly because he's been told it's magic. (Dumbo himself doesn't really have much of a personality or drive the story.) Initially he flies for the first time because he accidentally sucks the feather into his trunk and this makes him sneeze, which sends him flying off the ground. Then as the movie proceeds he stops actually sneezing and starts just taking off on his own after sucking the feather into his trunk. At this point there is zero reason for anyone to think the feather has anything to do with this, but even the girl who's obsessed with science and experimentation doesn't think to question this until the end. Meanwhile, after learning that a baby elephant can fly on its ears, the amusement park owner somehow decides he wants Dumbo's act to involve a fully-grown woman riding on his back, and expects this to just work, and then absolutely nobody questions whether maybe Dumbo can fly his own weight but not the additional weight of an adult human. (He is a baby! He's small! Nobody would expect an animal of his size to carry an adult on the ground!) The woman, who's supposed to be sympathetic, literally gets on his back and expects him to take off before these people have even seen him fly on his own at all! Why is nobody asking the reasonable questions here, not even the, again, girl whose sole character trait is her desire to be a scientist? It was just bizarre and enraging, and only made it harder to see any of these people as actual human beings. Instead of "Pink Elephants on Parade" being a nightmare dream sequence, it's just a while of Dumbo staring up at a circus act involving elaborate soap bubbles that kinda sorta look like elephants changing shape; it doesn't mean anything or say anything for the story, it's just a "Hey, technically we've got this song from the original movie in here, sort of!" For anyone who hadn't seen the original, this bit would just be baffling; for anyone who had, it's a pathetic imitation removed from the entire context of it.

So all in all, the live-action Dumbo was a strange, strange film. The original Dumbo genuinely could have used a remake - but instead of focusing on improving the ways in which that story faltered, the remake just tried to do its own unrelated thing, and that thing was just pretty weird. The message is cute in itself, but this story did not need to be about Dumbo, and Dumbo did not need to be turned into this.

#dumbo #dumbo 2019 #disney #review #ramble #adaptations

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corishadowfang · 6 years ago

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WIP Prep Tag Game

Tagged by @siarven--thanks for the tag!

Rules: Answer the questions, then tag as many people as there are questions (or as many as you can).

I debated back and forth about which WIP I’d do, but since I’m going to be entering the rewriting/editing phase soon, I thought I’d do it for On my Heart!

FIRST LOOK

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

A boy named Aiden is temporarily turned into a dragon by his Familiar, Kiru, in order to save his life--something that’s both incredibly illegal and incredibly dangerous. Now on the run, he enlists the help of a former police officer and a hermit with an unusual amount of knowledge about dragons to help prove he’s not the monster everyone thinks he is.

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

I’ve planned the story so that it’ll fit into a single book! Right now it’s approximately 250 pages, but after rewrites I think it’s going to be closer to 400 pages. (I ended up rushing through a lot of things to finish this draft, so...lots of additions are needed.)

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?

It’s very...blue. This is probably because Kiru’s--and by extension, Aiden’s--primary color theme is blue. Most of the time when I imagine scenery there’s a mix of monochrome and blue-tinted colors with a couple muted colors thrown in.

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

The two most notable are the Fate series and Brave Story. Fate was actually one of the things that initially inspired the story (more accurately, it was a question that came up while I was playing Fate/Stay Night), and Brave Story has a nice mix of fantastical grounded by more relatable problems that I’d really like to emulate.

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel

They’re not neatly organized or anything, but there they are.

MAIN CHARACTER

6. Who is your protagonist?

The primary character the story follows is Aiden Cooley. He’s a sarcastic, adorkable child who really isn’t cut out for the nonsense he’s being put through.

7. Who is their closest ally?

Technically speaking, that would be these three:

Kiru, Aiden’s Familiar, who is something of a trouble-maker but cares deeply for Aiden

Gertrude, a very morally gray woman who would probably be really helpful if anyone could figure out what her motives are

And Jackie, an amputee who helps Aiden out of a combination of pity and worry that turning him in could actually cause bigger problems than helping him out.

8. Who is their enemy?

I joke that it’s himself, but that’s actually not entirely wrong. One of the biggest problems for Aiden is that he tends to sabotage himself, whether by accident or on purpose.

As far as outside problems go, though, the most immediate ‘enemy’ would be the police. They’re not really ‘bad guys,’ but they’re the major antagonists considering the position Aiden’s been put in. The wider-scope antagonist would probably be society at large, though it takes a while for this to dawn on Aiden.

9. What do they want more than anything?

He’d really, really like to just go back home and, you know…not be arrested. (He had other worries before the story’s start, and they get to be addressed throughout the course of the story, but this has quickly become his immediate concern.)

10. Why can’t they have it?

To give a really brief explanation about how some of the workings of the world: Familiars a readily-available for purchase, and, while all of them have the ability to turn their owners into dragons (should the owners so choose), the act has been outlawed both due to the fact that this would normally kill a user, and because dragons running rampant in the streets would generally cause a lot of panic. Aiden not only transforms into a dragon (albeit against his will), but is completely unharmed by the transformation. Basically, this means that even if he somehow manages to not be arrested, nothing’s going to be the same for him ever again.

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

He tends to have very low self-esteem. To explain a little, he talks to his Familiar a lot because Kiru has higher artificial intelligence than most Familiars. However, most kids outgrow this habit by, like…ten, and since Kiru can’t actually talk to anyone but Aiden, the rest of his peers all think he’s pretty weird. This has kind of seeped into his psyche over the years, to the point where he agrees and assumes that no one would actually be interested in being around him and Kiru. He’s mostly convinced himself that he might be able to live a quiet, uneventful life where no one has to be disturbed by his ‘oddities,’ even though he wouldn’t be entirely happy doing so.

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

OH GOSH. Okay, so, this picture is pretty old, but here’s a rough idea of what Aiden looks like:

PLOT POINTS

13. What is the internal conflict?

I’ve obviously already explained some of it for Aiden; there’s a lot about him learning how to move forward after an event that has drastically changed his life and how to find a ‘new normal,’ and also kind of learning to accept himself.

For Kiru, a lot of the conflict relates to his own sense of self. How much of him was created by Aiden as coping mechanism, and how much is himself? What kind of role does he really play in a world ruled by humans?

For Gertrude, a lot has to do with her own past failings…though I won’t say too much on that.

Jackie’s arc actually parallels and ties with Aiden’s. They complement each other, since Jackie has already started to learn how to find a ‘new normal’ after a life-changing event (the loss of her leg), and slowly helps Aiden come to terms with the situation through her own experiences. On a more personal note, her views on Familiars and the people who use them are challenged constantly through working with someone who’s so close to them.

14. What is the external conflict?

The biggest conflict revolves around both evading the police and figuring out a way to get Aiden out of a situation where there are no real easy answers. On a less important note, trying to understand why Aiden wasn’t affected by his transformation is a constant current in the background, and factors into some key areas of the story.

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

The only remaining support system he has turning their backs on him would probably be pretty bad.

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

That’s spoilers.

17. Do you know how it ends?

That’s…actually a good question. I’ve finished the draft, so I know how that ends, and originally that was the ending I’d always envisioned for the story. However, I know this draft’s going to need a lot of edits and rewriting, so there’s a very strong possibility that a new ending will appear that works better. So, we’ll see if it stays the same or not!

BITS AND BOBS

18. What is the theme?

A pretty major over-arching theme is what you do when you’re in a situation where there are no good answers—where there is no clear-cut right and wrong, and you just have to try your best to pick the right option. This isn’t just present with the main characters, either; the police officers—especially Chief Harris, who hates this whole situation—and Aiden’s parents have plenty of their own struggles trying to figure out the right thing to do.

A smaller theme, though, is the subject of humanity—what makes us human, and, to use a trope name, “What measure is a non-human?”

19. What is a recurring symbol?

…Dragons, I guess? Or water, maybe, because it plays such a heavy metaphorical role in the story.

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

On a large scale, it’s set in an alternate version of Earth where dragons and humans once coincided. The two races ended up fighting, and humans eventually drove dragons to extinction. A couple decades later, humans decided to try and make the power of dragons their own. This eventually led to them creating Familiars, which would bestow the power of dragons on humans (with the idea that they’d be less likely to turn on their own kind). Unfortunately, the dragon transformation was pretty fault due to the fact that it forces a person’s body to change and grow in unnatural ways. Familiars are still used in every-day life, though—and they’ve been given extra abilities to compensate for the fact that they can’t really be used for their original purpose.

On a smaller scale, the story takes place in the city of Provenance, aka “The Birthplace of Familiars.�� It’s a medium-sized city that sits along the bank of a river and used to be the fishing village of White Water. Since the creation of Familiars and Familiar Co. (the primary Familiar manufacturing company), it’s started relying more and more on tourism and Familiar-based exports. Provenance is kind of this weird mix of historical, tourist trap, and modern city with a lot of weird legends and out-of-the-way places.

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

Originally there were several scenes I had in mind, but as for this upcoming draft…I actually don’t? I might once I get through with editing, but right now there’s nothing major.

22. What excited you about this story?

So you can probably guess from the theme question, but I really like exploring difficult topics and morally-ambiguous situations in fiction. A lot of times it’s how I personally work out solutions to those problems (at least on a personal level), and exploring those themes can actually be pretty fun!

But I also really love the characters and their interactions. They’re basically one big messed up family and I love them.

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

Honestly, it’s nothing very exciting. I usually pick out a song to listen to on repeat—most of the time it has some relation to the story, but other times it’s just one that I like a lot. Then I’ll set it going and start writing. I usually have a goal in mind. So, for example, “Get to the end of this part,” “finish this chapter,” or “write this many pages.” Basically this just makes sure that I actually make a decent amount of progress on it. And that’s…basically it? Sometimes to get myself inspired I’ll read world-building or analysis posts, but that’s not every time; it just kind of depends on my mood.

This was a lot of fun! Now to tag people...

I’ll tag @paladin-andric, @touchingmadness, @moonbow-ink, @diwrites, @sleepy-and-anxious, @fatal-blow, @focusdumbass, @thatsmybluefondue, @junglefae, @feathersandfortunes, @roselinproductions, @forlornraven, @aureliobooks, @maple-writes, @jess---writes, @aleshirewrites, @ad-drew, @nepeinthe, @novelier, @spacebrick3, @infinitelyblankpage, @insertpenname-here, @theta-lee, and anyone else who wants to do this! (No pressure if you don’t, of course; this one’s pretty long.)

#tag game #wip prep tag game #on my heart

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wheatbeats · 6 years ago

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2018 is over and I feel compelled to write a retrospective of sorts, but since I don’t feel like talking about myself I’m gonna talk about Every Anime (Series) I Watched in 2018. Each one comes with a numerical rating out of 10 and a short blurb of what I thought about it.

Recovery of an MMO Junkie - 9/10 - Incredibly sweet and heartfelt, with mature adult characters who act as such. Drama and comedy both are mined from real issues rather than petty miscommunication, and is all the more compelling for it.

Land of the Lustrous - 10/10 - A delightfully unique setting with an enrapturing story and fantastically constructed characters. The moments of levity and sweetness only serve to make the deeply engrained sadness and loneliness more poignant. The CGI animation is shockingly gorgeous, and a triumph of the medium.

Kino’s Journey: The Beautiful World (2018) - 5/10 - Certainly entertaining in spots, but ultimately rings rather hollow. Not really an improvement on the original in any respect.

Princess Principal - 8/10 - An absolutely gorgeous setting brimming with atmosphere and style, and a fun ensemble cast. The series-wide arc is a little hard to follow or understand, but each individual episodic plot is really enjoyable and engaging.

The Vision of Escaflowne - 8/10 - A well-built fantasy that’s occasionally ridiculous but never not fun. The new dub is really slick and helps the series go down nice and smooth.

A Place Further Than the Universe - 10/10 - Extraordinarily sweet, earnest and heartfelt. Deftly written, smartly directed, and masterfully executed. I cried really hard, a lot.

Tsuredure Children - 8/10 - Cute, ridiculous, and eminently relatable. If you’ve ever had a crush, you’re bound to identify with at least one character in this series.

From the New World - 5/10 - Had a glimmer of potential, but mostly ended up fake deep, poorly paced, and fucking ugly to look at. The more I thought about this series the less I realized I enjoyed it.

The Ancient Magus’ Bride - 5/10 - An extraordinarily promising start that’s disappointingly squandered by wildly inconsistent tone, static plots, nonsensical character arcs, excessive cliffhangers, and hollow stakes.

Princess Tutu - 10/10 - An expertly built deconstruction of fairy tales as well as a sweeping, gorgeous love note to ballet, classical music, and romantic storybook heroism. Wonderfully intricate plotting and stunning character work, a true gem.

Kaiba - 8/10 - Brilliantly unique and emotionally engrossing, if not a bit obscure and hard to follow at times. You never have, and probably never will again, see an anime quite like this.

Girls’ Last Tour - 7/10 - Deeply atmospheric and sometimes quite poignant, but also dreadfully, awfully, agonizingly slow.

Haven’t You Heard? I’m Sakamoto - 9/10 - A smooth and even mix between laughable absurdity and actual real emotional stakes. Somehow, I feel like I learned something about myself.

Megalobox - 8/10 - Briskly paced and action-packed, but by far the biggest draw is a classic 90s aesthetic reminiscent of pre-digital legends like Cowboy Bebop. This series lives and breathes style.

Legend of the Galactic Heroes: Die Neue These - 6/10 - Would have the potential to be interesting if it wasn’t so hollow and boring. I wanted to get more engaged in the politics of this complicated war, but the plot is held at arms length and the characters are more like walking philosophy textbooks than actual people. That said, the ship designs are pretty cool.

Hinamatsuri - 10/10 - Sweet, pure-hearted, and gut-bustingly funny. Any moment I wasn’t laughing until my sides hurt, I was near to tearing up from actually caring about these characters so much. Each episode was a joy and I loved every second of it.

Golden Kamuy (S1) - 7/10 - Absurd, charming, and goofy, with a surprising amount of gore. Seems to care more about food than plot, but I’m kind of into it.

Revolutionary Girl Utena - 9/10 - Brilliantly dense, symbolic, and metaphorical. Sometimes hard to understand, sometimes hard to watch, but always excellent.

Dragon Pilot: Hisone & Masotan - 7/10 - Gorgeously animated and undeniably charming, but still a little awkward, garbled, and uncomfortable at times. The most earnest vore anime I’ve ever watched.

Steins;Gate 0 - 4/10 - A total, utter, crushing disappointment. Follows up a spectacular prequel with a nonsensical, contrived plot, inaccurate characters, and piss-poor visuals. This series is only carried by its relationship to the original. I will never trust again.

Princess Jellyfish - 7/10 - Charming, varied characters populating an unfulfilling narrative.

The Big O - 6/10 - Plenty of goofy, stylish fun, but slowly devolves into an inscrutable, incomprehensible mess. R. Dorothy Wayneright is the best part of this series by far. Roger Smith is a louse.

Aggretsuko - 7/10 - Fun and relatable, if a bit simple.

TOP 3

3. Hinamatsuri - This series came totally out of left field for me. I usually don’t emotionally respond to comedies very well but this one somehow hit all the right buttons. None of the humor was mean-spirited or put anyone down, the situations were absurd but didn’t cripple me with secondhand embarrassment, and on top of it all I really started to care about the cast. I wish I could get surprised like this more often.

2. Land of the Lustrous - As you can tell if you’ve been following me at all recently, this series has been absolutely consuming me from the moment I watched it. The plot is gripping and excellently paced, and I don’t know if I’ve ever been invested in another main character quite as much as Phos. It’s plenty easy to get wrapped up in thinking about the plot and the character arcs and the meta, but then when I go back and watch the series again I’m shocked by how good it is on a technical level, too. The CG animation is beyond gorgeous and the technical grace of each scene, the pacing, the colors, the music, the character animation, the voice acting, are all stellar. If this anime had more of an ending it would absolutely be my number 1 pick, but for now I just have to read the manga (AS SHOULD YOU, YOU COWARDS. IT’S EVERY BIT AS GOOD AS THE ANIME).

1. Princess Tutu - I, like many people, I think, reacted with derision at the title of this series, but by the time I was done I was completely blown away, and every time I thought about it more I was even more shocked. Every inch of this series shows some of the smartest construction I’ve ever seen in fiction, every layer is filled with stylistic flourish, brilliant writing, and metatextual commentary. You can dig as deep as you want and Princess Tutu will always have something to offer you. It’s been less than a year, I’ve already watched it twice, and I’m still discovering new things about it. A story this brilliant would be a once in a lifetime experience on its own, but Tutu is fulfilling on the surface level, too. Even if you’re not diving deep into what the series means you can still be just as enraptured by the characters. Fakir probably has the best redemption arc this side of Prince Zuko, and I could sing the praises of every other major cast member. And the music, the music! I was doomed from the start the moment I heard both The Nutcracker and Pictures at an Exhibition in the score. Princess Tutu takes some of the greatest masterpieces of western art music and builds off them, creating a sense of atmosphere as deep and vast and dramatic as the finest opera or ballet could ever be. Princess Tutu is one of the greatest works of fiction I’ve ever consumed, and absolutely the best I’ve watched this year.

BOTTOM THREE

3. From the New World - Immediately after I stopped watching this series I actually sort of thought I’d liked it, and I think the reason for this is because From the New World tries its very best to engage in ideas a bit deeper and more ambiguous than a lot of other anime do. But the more I thought about it, the more I disliked this series. Everything about the plot was confusing and off-putting, I didn’t find the characters particularly charming, and perhaps most of all, this series is butt-ugly. It might have a high score of MAL. but my advice is to give this series a hard pass.

2. The Ancient Magus’ Bride - I wanted to like this series so fucking bad. I fell in love with the prequel OVA and waited anxiously for each new installment to come out. I even bought tickets to my local Artsy Fartsy Theater to see the first three episodes when the screened there. And I liked them! Finally, an anime engaged in Celtic and English mythology, some of my favorites, and a protagonist with a truly gripping internal struggle. I was certain from the very first moment that this series would sit in my Top 10 list, and that Chise would be one of my favorite protagonists ever. And then it... didn’t happen. As the episodes unfolded I was treated to a series that had no idea how to establish or maintain stakes, how to relate its two main characters to each other, or how to use the wealth of mythology it was referencing and drawing from. How am I supposed to care when Chise gets stabbed in the chest every 2 episodes and then just kind of shrugs it off for the sake of drama? How am I supposed to be interested in the mythology when it’s all just watered-down fantasy archetypes with giant boobs? Don’t even get me started on the main villain. I feel very betrayed by this series and honestly I’m still bitter.

1. Steins;Gate 0 - This series is as much a lesson in betrayal as Ancient Magus’ Bride, but I think this one stings worse because it’s preceded by Steins;Gate, and anime I love dearly. I sincerely believe that the original Steins;Gate is one of the best anime ever produced, and this sequel struggles to live up to even a single aspect of it. As it began I was hopeful- I liked the darker tone, I liked the idea of a story within a failed timeline. But as I kept watching, I realized something awful: I was bored. All of the charm and intrigue was gone. The characters were all acting different, all looked different (why are all the girls wearing skintight winter coats? Why have their chests all inflated three sizes??), and there was no impetus for the plot. Steins;Gate was driven by simple goals; in the first half, it was to build a time-leap machine. In the second half, it was to save Mayuri. In Steins;Gate 0 the impetus is to... watch Okabe be sad. Hope he gets less sad. There’s nothing to keep the plot moving, and this listlessness was so overwhelming that the random bits of unforeshadowed action and unprecedented (for this franchise) violence felt cheap and confusing after the doldrums we just sat through. By the time the plot finally, finally, picks up towards the final quarter of the series, the damage is done. I don’t care anymore, I can’t figure out what’s going on, and I’m just so done with a franchise I used to love. One day I’ll go back and rewatch the original Steins;Gate and remind myself why I cared so much, but for now I’m nursing wounds. If you say the name “Kagari” in my presence, I’ll probably blitz the fuck out.

Here’s to a good 2019!

#princess tutu #land of the lustrous #hinamatsuri #the ancient magus' bride #steins;gate 0

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needsmoresarcasm · 6 years ago

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Favorite Books of 2018

I read a lot of books in 2018. Here are my favorites (not counting books I re-read), in basically no order. (But actually kind of an order.)

22. Going Rogue, Drew Hayes

Going Rogue is the third book in Drew Hayes’s Spells, Swords, and Stealth series. The series is told in two parts: it follows a group of people playing a Dungeons & Dragons-style role-playing game and a group of non-playable characters in the world of said game. The thrust of the story is on the group of NPCs, which unfolds as a typical fantasy adventure. It’s got a straightforward quest narrative, an adventuring party (turned found family), and impossible odds. As the stories progress, the players begin to sense that the game has its own agency and the characters begin to sense that there may be someone controlling their world. But mostly it’s a fun, self-aware take on a typical fantasy adventure that toys with fantasy tropes.

21. Americanah, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I steeled myself for dense literary fiction when I cracked open Americanah, the story of Ifemelu, a Nigerian girl who moves to America and wrestles with race and identity. But that was all for naught because Americanah was one of the easiest reads of the year. The writing is breezy, and the story is funny and brisk. It dissects race and culture in America both by showing (Ifemelu’s struggles to define herself in a new country) and telling (Ifemelu’s hilarious blog posts). Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie seems to have perfected the art of delivering dense observations in delightful, consumer-friendly prose. Old white dude authors should probably take note.

20. What If It’s Us, Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera

If I’m going to read a romance, I want it to be light, fluffy, gay, and conflict-free. And that’s exactly what What If It’s Us delivers. The book begins with a meet cute: while mailing a box of his ex-boyfriend’s stuff, Ben bumps into Arthur at the post office. Arthur and Ben are both appropriately awkward and endearing, bumbling and pawing their way through a relationship as only teenagers can. Every character is essentially kind and caring. There are no villains or bullies, no one gets ostracized or beaten, no one dies. The tension mostly stems from the fact that Arthur is only in the city for the summer, which only barely counts as a conflict. And while the universe of the story may be unrealistically polished, their relationship is refreshingly imperfect. Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli are telling a story of young love, not necessarily true love.

19. The Collapsing Empire / The Consuming Fire, John Scalzi

John Scalzi built an astoundingly engrossing world in The Collapsing Empire. The human race has colonized far flung planets with the help of the Flow system, naturally occurring pathways between various planets across the universe that allows otherwise impossible interstellar travel. The Collapsing Empire follows the sharp, sarcastic Cardenia Wu, the newly crowned empress, and sweet, in-over-his-head Marce Claremont, a Flow physicist in far-flung End who has discovered something off with the Flow. It’s got a roiling pace, packed with space battles, political jockeying, and a whole host of delightful characters. It’s one of those audiobooks (narrated by Wil Wheaton) that was so compulsively listenable that I ended up taking long, meandering walks just to hear what happened next.

18. The Shell Collector, Anthony Doerr

Anthony Doerr’s writing is incredible. His sentences all feel divined from the ether. And the short story is the perfect vehicle for that writing, lasting just long enough to build an atmospheric world. Most of the stories are tinged with a little magical realism, used mostly to underscore the unique, grounded humanity of his characters. The collection dives into the histories of people who are in various degrees removed from society and intertwined with nature. But the ultimate thesis, refreshingly, is not about the corruption of society, but rather the inherent value of people.

17. Giovanni’s Room, James Baldwin

I don’t know that I have anything new or interesting to say about James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room. A story about desire, and maybe love, between David and Giovanni, every word of that book is filled with intense, crushing emotion desperately crashing onto the pages. It’s about love and sexuality, told in an intimate-verging-on-claustrophobic manner. It’s powerful and interminably depressing and beautiful and devastating. But it’s not devastating because it’s gay, it’s just both devastating and gay.

16. Goodbye, Vitamin, Rachel Khong

Goodbye, Vitamin opens with the main character, Ruth, going through a breakup and dealing with early signs of her father’s Alzheimer’s disease. And somehow, Goodbye, Vitamin is also fun, funny, and heart-warming. The book is sunny and endearing, even as Ruth herself struggles with caring for her father and finding her own identity. Most things described as quirky may be better described as annoying, but there truly is no better word for this book’s sensibility than quirky. The specificity of the descriptions and the cleverness of the wordplay make for a delightful, sometimes deeply poignant, read.

15. Less, Andrew Sean Greer

In many ways, Less shares beats with the incredibly overdone, deeply uninteresting novel about a middle-aged white guy who goes through a midlife crisis and suffers the pain of his own brilliance. Indeed, Less follows Arthur Less as he hits fifty, gets invited to his ex’s wedding, and then travels around the world to avoid confronting any of his problems. But Less is decidedly different: it’s gay. Which means it’s funnier, sharper, and drastically more self-aware. Arthur Less - and Andrew Sean Greer - recognizes the absurdity of his disproportionate reaction to relatively minor problems. He has no delusions of grandeur. He’s not on a journey to unlock his inner genius, just a journey to maybe buy a new jacket and have a fling or two. It’s delightful and funny and warm even as it pretends not to be.

14. More Happy Than Not, Adam Silvera

The devastation of More Happy Than Not cuts in sharp pains and deep gashes. The tragic turns - and in a book about a teenage kid who considers a science fiction equivalent of gay conversion therapy there are many - come as punches to the face, not as lingering aches. And yet, the book doesn’t feel punishing to read. Adam Silvera derives no pleasure from Aaron’s, the aforementioned teen, suffering and carefully builds the foundation of Aaron’s character on his triumphs and joys. Aaron’s life is vibrant and bristling with possibility, streaked, but not consumed, by pain. More Happy Than Not is meticulously plotted and paced, with a few moments of genuine surprise. As always, Adam Silvera writes about tragedy in an entirely uncynical way, with a deep well of generosity for his characters.

13. Witchmark, C.L. Polk

In many ways, Witchmark feels like the book I spent this entire year trying to find. Witchmark takes place in a pseudo-historical early 20th century England-style setting, in the throes of some capital-W War. Most of the book is styled as a mystery: Miles, a former army doctor, and Tristan, a mysterious outsider, track down clues and chase leads to find a murderer. And, of course, maybe they fall in love along the way. And, oh yeah, Miles is a witch. Oh and also, maybe there’s some royal family drama happening as well. And maybe also some government conspiracies. And also maybe a much larger mystery that involves all of the above. There’s magic and romance and mystery and intrigue and action, and every part of it is completely satisfying. Especially if you’re the type of person who would like to read a scene in which said army doctor needs help undressing because he broke his wrist, and luckily there’s (literally magically) handsome mystery man there to help him!!! (Listen, I never said this was particularly profound literature.) But like, five stars.

12. Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore / Sourdough, Robin Sloan

If you want a cozy, feel-good novel that has just the slightest dash of magic, then pick up a Robin Sloan book. Both Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore and Sourdough read as relaxing balms to help soothe aches brought on by the disaster fire of reality. In both books, a young twenty-something attempting to figure out their life discovers a niche world (book collecting and bread baking) and gets swept up in a fantastical mystery. They’re breezy, warm, and brimming with genuine affection and curiosity for the subjects at their centers. Sloan’s writing is incredibly sensory; you can taste the bread and smell the books. They have that Great British Bake Off quality to them: impossibly compelling despite low stakes and uniform pleasantness.

11. Little Fires Everywhere, Celeste Ng

Celeste Ng’s second novel is a careful study of privilege of all sorts, and an especially incisive look into whiteness. Little Fires Everywhere takes place in Shaker Heights, Ohio, a progressive slice of white suburbia. At the book’s center are the Richardsons, a well-off white family who are the types of people that may tell you that they don’t see race--in part because everyone they see is also white. Things get shaken up when Mia Warren and her daughter Pearl arrive in town, marked as strange by their relative lack of wealth, and marked as even stranger by their lack of shame about it. Each sentence is beautifully written, and each paragraph immaculately constructed. But honestly, the book is best summed up as: this is some white people nonsense.

10. The Lymond Chronicles (#1-6), Dorothy Dunnett

The Lymond Chronicles books are both the most high brow and most low brow books I read this year. They are densely written and plotted, with an inexhaustible supply of names for characters and teeming with minute details that almost all portend some future event or revelation. But they’re also chock-full of soap opera-style twists and tropes, aimed to quench your id’s every desire. All this makes for books that demand a lot, but then pay off with hilarious jokes, action sequences that convey more physicality and movement than most movies, and ridiculous third act reveals that are so incredibly satisfying. And like, on a selfish level, it’s also real satisfying to read about people falling in love with and then aggressively berating Francis Crawford for three thousand pages. (He deserves it.)

9. My Life as a Goddess, Guy Branum

I read, or rather listen to, tons of memoirs - by comedians, actors, politicians, and writers. And Guy Branum’s My Life as a Goddess is easily my favorite of the year. Branum incisively writes about growing up as a gay kid in truly the-middle-of-nowhere California, touching on issues of masculinity, sexuality, class, body image, and education. Unsurprisingly, My Life as a Goddess is hilarious, chock-full of jokes and witty observations. More surprisingly, My Life as a Goddess is also deeply emotional, especially as Branum writes about his relationship as his father. Even more surprisingly, My Life as a Goddess is weirdly informative about a very specific slice of Canadian history. I cannot recommend the audiobook of this enough, as Guy Branum’s narration is smart, funny, and winning.

8. All the Light We Cannot See, Anthony Doerr

Does anyone really want to read a Pulitzer Prize winning literary fiction novel written by some white dude about World War II half from the point of view of a goddamn Nazi? No. No one wants to read that. Except, maybe I do. Because that’s exactly what All the Light We Cannot See is, and man is it a true revelation. The sheer humanity that Doerr imparts in his story creates a profoundly moving story, about goodness and cruelty and the indiscriminate destruction of war. The events of the story are uniformly bleak, as expected in a World War II novel, and yet the book’s tone feels decidedly hopeful, hungry to extract optimism from human persistence. It’s a stunningly written book that lays bare the complexities of people and the horrors of war.

7. Bad Blood, John Carreyrou

Bad Blood was truly the most unbelievable story I read this year. Wizards? Aliens? Time travel? All relatively believable compared to the intense, densely plotted, thrilling tale that unravels in Bad Blood, made all the more incredible by its truth. Bad Blood tells the story of Theranos, a Silicon Valley startup that claimed to be revolutionizing blood testing, and its founder Elizabeth Holmes, once described on magazine covers as “the next Steve Jobs.” John Carreyrou, the author, was the journalist who first broke the story of Theranos’s rampant fraud, and he stitches together a coherent, mesmerizing narrative from first-hand accounts of Theranos employees. Elizabeth Holmes is a fascinating antagonist, an ambitious, callous, maybe sociopath. The story is exciting and frustrating and will make you have even less faith in rich, powerful white people. But because this is non-fiction, the entire time you know that Elizabeth Holmes is eventually going to end up being charged with numerous federal crimes. A truly satisfying ending.

6. Hyperbole and a Half, Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh didn’t invent the internet, but she at least has as much claim to modern internet culture as any other individual. Hyperbole and a Half is a collection of her best blog posts, with some additional, equally hilarious, stories thrown in. I hadn’t revisited her blog in years, and so it was striking just how little her style has aged. In a time where internet memes have life spans measured in hours, Hyperbole and a Half feels fresh nearly a decade later. The influence of her style and perspective on the internet is far-reaching. From the hilarious (her distinctively drawn self-rendering triumphantly declaring “CLEAN ALL THE THINGS” while holding a broom) to the insightful (her two-part essay on the amorphous gray muck of depression), her stories all feel as though they could be the origin story for any piece of internet ephemera. Hyperbole and a Half is at times farcical, at times poignant, and always raucously funny.

5. Shades of Magic (#1-3), V.E. Schwab

The Shades of Magic series (A Darker Shade of Magic, A Gathering of Shadows, and A Conjuring of Light) is the perfect fantasy adventure: the characters are imminently rootable, the world is seeped in magic, and the plot is intoxicating. The books are set in London, or Londons, rather. There are four parallel Londons, which have embraced, rejected, or surrendered to magic to varying degrees. Our protagonist, Kell, is one of the few with the ability to travel between the different Londons. And, well, hijinks ensue. Dark, sprawling, brutal, violent, life-consuming hijinks.

The Shades of Magic series is unburdened by its worldbuilding; V.E. Schwab could probably teach a semester’s worth of history lessons on her world, but does not feel the need show that off in the books themselves. They’re books to be devoured, not dissected. But it’s the characters that make the series so engrossing. Everyone is an archetype-a street-worn thief, a charming prince-but so well-drawn and understood that every character moment sparkles. And the central relationship of the book, between Kell and his brother Rhy, felt as though it was perhaps extracted directly from my brain. Kell is stoic, burdened by responsibility but determined to protect. Rhy, the aforementioned charming prince, injects Kell’s life with mischief and levity, and they’re so fundamentally dedicated to each other that it hurts. If a bunch of well-meaning idiots trying to save the world with magic is your thing, A Darker Shade of Magic may be the series for you.

4. Everything I Never Told You, Celeste Ng

If you thought a quiet, contained rumination on race, gender, nationality, and culture couldn’t also be a compelling, tense page-turner, let me introduce you to Everything I Never Told You. Everything I Never Told You is nothing short of literary alchemy. It begins with the death of Lydia, the model daughter of the Lee family--and, really, the model daughter of 1970s America. The book unravels the mystery of Lydia’s death, told through the vignettes from the lives of the Lee family members.

Celeste Ng is a master at using a paragraph to describe years of a character’s history and decades of American society all at once. Her characters are specific and sharply drawn, rooted deeply in their time and environment. Lydia, with a Chinese father and a white mother, is mixed race (a term not added to the U.S. Census until 2000)--“one of only two Orientals” at her school. The other, her brother Nathan, has learned to live in Lydia’s shadow in their parents’ mind’s eye. Marilyn, Lydia’s mother, had her own ambitions sidelined by family. With a deft, heartfelt touch, Everything I Never Told You viscerally conveys their regrets for the words left unsaid and lives left unlived.

3. History Is All You Left Me, Adam Silvera

As this list makes clear, I loved a lot of Adam Silvera this year, and History Is All You Left Me stands out as my favorite. In dual timelines, History Is All You Left Me tells the story of Griffin after and up to the accident in which his ex-boyfriend Theo dies unexpectedly. And so, yes, the book is soaked in grief and loss. And, yes, it’s devastating and aching. But it’s also incredibly kind and empathetic. The characters are teenagers and make the choices of teenagers. Their actions are messy and rash and stupid, and Silvera leans into that, landing more than one self-inflicted heart-wrenching blow. But Silvera is also unfailingly patient with teenagers and understands their resilience; he lets his characters make mistakes and has faith that they will survive. And so the book is heavy, but optimistic. A refreshing reprieve from the gratuitous suffering and bleakness that tortures so much LGBT-themed fiction. History Is All You Left Me is the most affecting book I read all year, and it still lingers in my bones. But the impression it has left is of life, not loss.

2. An American Sickness, Elisabeth Rosenthal

I bristle when someone describes a book as “important.” It always seems patronizing and self-serving, and my natural contrarian kicks in. I get it, you want to tell everyone how well-read or socially conscious you are because you read an “important” book. So it is with eyes wide open, and more than a twinge of self-loathing, that I say An American Sickness is an important book. It feels like essential reading, certainly for anyone trying to affect American healthcare policy, and at the very least useful for anyone who ever has to deal with the American healthcare system. It will make you angry and frustrated, but hopefully it will also arm you with information.

An American Sickness is broken up into two distinct parts: the first half lays out the issues with the current healthcare system, including how it came to be, and the second half presents solutions. Dr. Elisabeth Rosenthal writes accessibly about potentially dry, dense subject matter. The book’s purpose is not to exhaustively detail the history of healthcare, but to better equip the average person to navigate the system. Dr. Rosenthal provides anecdotes to anchor the matter in tangible issues and gives just enough context to sketch the motivations of the various actors - doctors, hospitals, insurers, pharma companies, etc. She presents solutions from two perspectives: (1) changing healthcare policy as a whole, and (2) navigating the system as an individual. In a methodical, step-by-step manner, the book explains concrete things a regular person can look out for, questions they can ask, and actions they can take to avoid--or challenge--exorbitant medical bills. There’s literally an appendix with fill-in-the-blank form letters to use to request billing information and challenge bills. You don’t have to read this book, but I want you to.

1. Chemistry, Weike Wang

Sometimes a book is so intimately catered to you it’s as if the author waded through your subconscious, fished out the tangled threads of your thoughts, and then wove them into a tapestry that displayed every single one of your hopes, dreams, and aspirations. For me, that book is Chemistry. Chemistry follows an unnamed Asian American protagonist who is discontented with her current situation: her long-term boyfriend, her Chemistry PhD program, and her relationship with her parents. And the novel unfolds as she comes to terms with that discontentment.

The economy of Weike Wang’s writing is spellbinding. She uses words so efficiently and so cleverly to craft sentences that seem fundamental. On seemingly every page, there was a new observation that felt so obviously true that I was surprised I had never read those exact words before. The book is filled with jokes, driven by the protagonist’s wry sarcasm and gentle disdain for things and people generally. The whole thing is somehow both simple and complex, an easily digestible read with a deceptively complex flavor. There are no splashy revelations or sudden tragedies, only hard-earned emotional truths and the realities of getting by. Chemistry nails the general spirit of just attempting to function as a normal human person in 2018.

#books #weike wang #adam silvera #celeste ng #ve schwab

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