#fun fact: this one gave me a migraine

[endlessartpumpkin]

Day 14: Ganondorf/Ganon

The man with the evil eyes. 🏜

[spinaroos-47]

Bunch of Allays I've been coloring in the past few days

Dude has a million fish shirts

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Dorm Heads - Reader Has A Collection of Items

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I'm still sick unfortunately, but thankfully my migraine is gone so I decided that I should still write the asks that have been sent in. Fun fact: I have a collection of old keys as well as a collection of quarters and Midori (A×K) and Sanemi (KNY) themed items. —Benny🐰

                                                                                                   

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🌹 I don't see Riddle as the collecting type, so he probably doesn't get the point of having a collection in the first place. He'd just see it as useless clutter or even a bunch of random trash that you keep in your room. It doesn't matter what you collect, he just doesn't get it.

🌹 Now, while Mr. Rosehearts thinks you're hoarding trash like some sort of giant bipedal raccoon, he won't stop you but won't encourage you either. He loves you so he'll let you explore your interests at your own pace... even if he thinks it's weird. If collecting various items makes you happy, Riddle won't stop you, he loves seeing you smile.

🌹 Let's say, in Riddle's part, that you collect standard playing cards of various themes. Ex. Solitaire cards with varying seasonal and holiday designs. Riddle would most likely ask you why you need so many different packages of cards and would likely try to convince you to use them once and a while since playing cards are to be played with. But if you say no he would drop it.

🌹 If you gift him something from your collection, he wouldn't get it but would accept it anyway because it's a gift from you. Riddle would probably put it on a shelf in his room or pin it to his wall, whatever it is. He'll grab it down and just examine it when he misses you.

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"My Rose... What's all this for? ... A collection? B‐but these are— ah... nevermind, what a... uhm lovely collection you have here..."

"Oh! This one is for me? Ah... well, thank you, My Rose."

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🦁 Leona is another person who I don't see as the collecting type, but if he did have a collection I think it would be a collection of different types of pillows. He keeps his collection on his bed and the surrounding floor because there are so many. So, Leona certainly doesn't mind nor care really if you have a collection of items.

🦁 That's not to say that our lion boy doesn't get annoyed when your attention is focused on your collection rather than him. Even if you and Leona were just cuddling and you turn to your collection, you've successfully pissed him off. Good luck getting him to let you go the next time you lay down for a nap with him. He won't. You're stuck now.

🦁 For Mr. Kingscholar's part, let's say you collect little carved wooden figures. Ex. Animals, plants, monuments, etc. Leona found out about your collection before you told him actually. He was getting comfortable on your bed, ready to lay down for another nap when he felt something hard poking him in the side. And lo and behold, it was a little carved wooden lion no bigger than a chess piece.

🦁 Leona will take whatever you give him not without complaint though, but if you try and take it back he won't give it to you. He most likely makes Ruggie turn whatever you give him into a necklace or a keychain saying that he can carry it with him at all times. On days when he can't see you, Leona will stare at the item you gave him and trace its edges and crevices with a smile on his face.

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"Hah? What's all this crap doin' on your bed? Move it off. I wanna lay down. C'mere Herbivore, I need somethin' soft to lay on."

"Huh? What's this for? Ah... sure whatever, I'll keep so you'll let me sleep already."

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🐙 Azul is an avid collector himself. He most notably collected contracts before his overblot, but he also likes to collect little fossils that he finds on beaches and embankments. Azul is certainly interested in the fact that you have a collection and would love to share his collection with you.

🐙 I'll say it point blank, Azul has 100% definitely tried to suggest selling numerous items in your collection. But he tones it down when you assure him that they're not for sale. He'll bring it up in passing every once in a while though, he's still not giving up. Azul will stop if you tell him to, though.

🐙 For octopus wifey you'll be collecting rocks of all kinds. Ex. Smooth and shiny pebbles to small chunks of gemstones. Azul will also contribute to your collection by gifting you various types of pearls of small pieces of dead coral. He even got you a special box to keep your collection in, isn't he so sweet?

🐙 When you give Azul something from your collection he'll shyly accept it and mutter a cute and quiet little thank you. He'll put it on his desk in his private office in the Monstrou Lounge; he makes sure to slip it into a drawer whenever Floyd comes in though. Whenever Azul is very busy at the lounge and can't see you, he'll glance at it every so often between signing papers.

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"This is quite the collection you've got here, Angel Fish. You know... a few of your little collectibles could go for a hefty sum... No pressure, of course."

"Hm? For me? I... w‐well thank you, Angel Fish."

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🪞 Oh, Vil collects things as well. Jewelry is the item of choice in his case; from antique brooches to new-age hairpins. He doesn't mind that you collect things, but he will be a bit snooty about which items are deemed worthy of being collected. Vil will absolutely eye your collection with disdain if it's something he doesn't like, but he won't say anything.

🪞 Vil finds collecting to be a respectable hobby that any fair gentleman should have, so he certainly supports you. He actually discovered your hobby when he barged in came to your dorm to see you and saw your collection littering the vanity he ordered for you. This kind of annoyed Vil, but he let it go when he saw how happy you were.

🪞 In Mr. Schoenheit's case, I believe a collection of feathers fits the best. Ex. Pheasant feathers, eagle feathers, peacock feathers, etc. Vil doesn't mind your collection but he does think it's a bit unsanitary that you'd pick something up off the ground and keep it, especially something like a feather.

🪞 Vil will accept gifts from you all the time, but sometimes he accepts them and just puts out of sight if he doesn't like it. If you give him an item from your collection, he'll likely pin it to the side of his full length/vanity mirror or sit it on the desk of his vanity. Whenever he's too busy with his acting and modeling career to see you, Vil will take a few glances at it while he's putting on his makeup.

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"Ah... Sweet Potato... What's all this garbage doing cluttering up your vanity? Collection? Wouldn't you rather... oh, I don't know... collect more appealing items per chance."

"Where in the world did you get this? Oh? You're gifting this to me? Well... I suppose I must accept it then..."

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🪲 Kalim has a collection too! He collects anything that catches his interest at the time, so his collection is compiled of all sorts of different things. He is overwhelmingly supportive of you and your collection. Kalim would love to share his collection with you!

🪲 Please! Please, please, please show Kalim your collection, he'll show you his as well, it'll be a nice little bonding experience between the two of you. He'll often give you all sorts of random things he comes across and ask if you'd add it to your collection or make a whole new collection based around it.

🪲 For our adorable sunshine boy, we'll make your collection one of coins. Ex. Coins from different countries, coins that are no longer produced, pressed coins, etc. Kalim finds them all so interesting and always asks about the history surrounding them. He's definitely given you coins from the scorching sands so you can add them to your collection.

🪲 If you give Kalim something from your collection, he's absolutely ecstatic! He probably keeps whatever item you decide to give him in his pocket at all times. When he can't see you, Kalim will reach into his pocket and run his fingers along the item to feel its texture.

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"Woah! These are so cool! Where did you find all this stuff? Do you want to see my collection of cool stuff too? It's in my room! C'mon let's go!"

"Eh? OH! For me! You're so sweet! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I'll give you something too, wait here!"

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💀 Idia obviously has a large collection of his own. He collects anime and video game figures; he even has an entire room in the Ignihyde dorm dedicated to it. Idia's glad you collect things as well, it makes him feel like less of an outcast.

💀 Do you want to see his collection too? Idia is very enthusiastic about sharing his collection with you, which is a lot for him to trust you with, so please say you like it or he might cry. He most likely won't try and contribute anything to your collection or really compliment it all that much, he's far too shy.

💀 In Idia's case I think collecting ornate keys would fit perfectly. Sometimes, when he comes to your room, he'll be distracted by all the different keys that you had and shyly ask you where you found all of them. Idia won't ask all that often, but he tries to do it more since he likes the way you smile when you talk about your interests.

💀 Idia gets so jittery when you gift him things, he thinks he's undeserving so he always ends up with teary eyes. He'll probably keep whatever item you give him in the top drawer of his dresser. Sometimes, when he's too shy to leave his room, Idia will dig through his drawer and clutch it in his hand, running his thumb over it.

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"You collect stuff as well? Is it figurines? Do you... d‐do you wanna see my figurine collection? A‐and maybe I can look at your collection as well... i‐if you want to."

"Your giving this to me? T‐that's— A‐are you sure? I... t‐thank you..."

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🐲 Malleus isn't one to collect things, but he's certainly up to observe them. He needs nothing more than the gargoyles perched atop Night Raven College. He doesn't mind letting you indulge in your silly little human pastime.

🐲 Humans are so strange, Malleus doesn't think he'll ever understand them, but Lilia has a collection of human games so he supposes he can't complain. Do show him your collection, he would absolutely love to learn about his dear Child of Man's interests. Out of everything involving your collection, your smile has to be Malleus's favorite part.

🐲 In Mr. Draconia's case, I think a collection of dried & pressed plants would suit you best. While he definitely doesn't get why you would go out of the way to press and dry plants when they're right outside, he kind of likes it. Often, Malleus will have plants from the Valley of Thorns brought to him so he can gift them to you.

🐲 A gift? For him? Malleus would be absolutely delighted if you gave him a gift let alone one of your silly little human trinkets. He'd keep whatever item you ended up giving him in an ornate glass case and would never move it from there. When he can't see you, Malleus will gently open the glass case and observe the item for a while.

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"Ah... such interesting items that you've procured here, dear Child of Man. I wonder... would you like to observe my favorite gargoyles with me tonight."

"Oh? For me? My, my~ aren't you thoughtful, Child of Man. Perhaps I should return the favor..."

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Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[ethereange]

you saw him first. it had always been that way, your perceptiveness betraying you. a quick run to the store for some painkillers after you popped the last couple for a migraine, left you frozen in place at the sight of the ash blonde. your awareness heightened at the fact you were in a giant, beat-up hoodie with mismatched socks, your hair frizzy and gave the impression that you were hungover. and suddenly toughing through a headache at home didn't seem so bad right now.

katsuki was scanning over the jars of protein powder. his hand reached for the one with clean white packaging and a simple black font. the one he always liked. but it faltered, retreating, skipping over to one with a blue label.

since when did he like blue?

your head was throbbing and waves of tears threatened to form at your eyes, but you knew it wasn't from the pain.

he turned around, and all you could do was face the hopelessness of his gaze locking with yours. with him seeing firsthand the look on your face that would crack open until your heart shattered all over the tiled floor.

but it never happened. he never even looked your way.

"kacchan, did you find anything?"

kacchan? but it wasn't izuku's voice..

"i told ya to stop callin' me that," katsuki grumbled.

"i know, but it's so cute! i can't help it after deku used it for you!"

you clutched your bottle of advil. her clothes sat just right. her hair was what you spent two hours in front of the mirror with an iron for. she had eyes so blue it made the ocean pale.

was that why? was she why you liked blue now?

"oh!" she gasped, "is that the powder i talked about?"

"yeah, but," he sighed, "it's shit and i'm not gettin' it."

"what! how is it bad?" she exclaimed.

"the macros are terrible. i'm gettin' my usual."

you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"you're no fun," she scoffed, "we need to get some gluten-free snacks, can you come?"

there was a pause, before he said, "nah, i don't eat that crap, i needa check somethin' first." the girl blinked at the bluntness, but shook it off and walked down the aisle.

"need somethin'?"

your heart skipped a beat.

piercing eyes of ruby met yours, the same as they always were. something that took years to read, always changing, always something behind the enchanting hue.

"no-" you whispered, mouth dry. "no," you repeated, clearly this time, "i was just on my way to checkout."

"checkout's the other way if ya didn't know."

your face burned red, but you steeled your gaze as best as you could and nodded, turning away.

"she's an intern, by the way." you stopped.

"what?"

"she's an intern, third-year. but she's not tryna be a sidekick, she's aiming for personal assistant. but i'm not picking her up- too chatty."

you swallowed, "okay, and?"

"just thought you wanted to know," he spoke, softly, as he reshelved the jar. "do you.. have another brand i can try?"

you stared at him, and you sighed. as you stopped at his side, you gazed over the rows of containers. "why didn't you like this one?" you gestured to the one he just placed on the rack.

"the macros were fine... i just don't like blue."

you let a laugh slip out, and a warmth budded in your chest, an all familiar feeling.

the pain of your migraine dulled as the pains of the past were slowly, carefully, starting to be stitched up. because you and katsuki were hunched over the protein powder, just like you were all those years ago. and for some reason it brought a sense of peace that you never thought the sight of him would bring again.

[whenalltheeyesopen]

At this point @jellyskink has shown Ford losing no fewer than three separate pet shows, so I made a followup to the fic where Irene drives him home while he's having an abandonment-related mental breakdown.

Enjoy! (AO3 cross-post)

Irene paced three steps along the hall runner. She tapped the little ivy leaf that marked the midpoint, turned, walked back.

"This is the stupidest thing I've ever done," she said out loud to the empty hallway.

Then she picked up her phone and made a call.

---

Dr. Ibis almost didn't answer. Dr. Irene Oleander was a nice enough woman, but a call from her so soon before one of his regular appointments with that patient was a guaranteed migraine. It was fine when she was just requesting his most recent x-rays, but sometimes she called to tell him that she had found flesh-eating worms in the man's gums and to please be careful in case Bill Cipher had been denying his favorite pet medicine access.

Whatever this was, it would be just as unpleasant tomorrow. It was probably important, possibly time sensitive. Sometimes, the migraine needs must be endured.

"Hello, Irene," he said.

"Yusuf. How are you doing?"

"Fairly well." He gave the file on his computer screen a quick once-over. "Busy with work. I assume you're calling for business?"

There was nothing but the white noise of a poor connection.

"...Hello?"

"I'm here," Oleander confirmed. She sounded uncomfortable. "This is going to sound extremely strange, but I wanted to ask you a favor."

Ibis raised an eyebrow, even though she couldn't see. He tried to make sure the humor was obvious in his inflection: "I hope we aren't on such bad terms that a favor is outlandish to ask."

"No, no, it's just- it's an outlandish favor."

Ibis hummed. "Irene," he said, "does it by any chance have anything to do with a certain mutual patient?"

To his chagrine, she did not respond immediately.

He sighed loudly. "Just tell me what it is."

"Is there a custom trophy shop near you?"

"A what?"

"A trophy shop, or a place that does etchings or something."

"Uh-" he had never had cause to investigate, but he was pretty sure the print shop did tchotchkes. "I think so?"

"Right. Um." Oleander made a strange noise. "Um, so, after your last appointment, you asked me to try and get Dr. Pines to start flossing regularly since he hadn't been listening to you. And I did talk to him, and last I saw him he said he had been."

"Well that's peachy," Ibis said drily. "He eats nothing but organ meat and candy with as far as I can tell a side helping of stainless steel deadbolts. But at least he's flossing."

"Believe me, I'm fighting that same battle," Oleander said. There was real anger in her voice. She was much more invested than Ibis in the lost cause that was patient health.

Static again.

"Alright," she said. "Can you, um. This is going to sound stupid. Can you make him a trophy for it."

Ibis almost couldn't believe his ears. "For flossing?"

"I know it's ridiculous."

"Ridiculous doesn't begin to cover it."

"I'll pay you back for the cost, and - I don't know, I'll buy you dinner or something. Or owe you a favor."

Ibis glanced over at his computer again. He did some mental timesheet math.

"Yusuf?"

"I'm thinking."

"Please. I know it's dumb, but he's had a really bad... Uh, series of encounters."

"Yes, I saw them on TV."

Oleander's voice went quiet while she swore away from the receiver. "You were watching."

"I thought it might be fun to see how Calimari did."

"That's... Very sweet of you."

"I found Cipher's entries infinitely more entertaining."

"You-" Oleander cut her own furious response off, apparently remembering that she wanted Ibis to owe her a favor. "Will you help me cheer him up or not?"

"Well," Ibis said, "you do have a way with insurance companies."

"You want me to do your insurance coding for you???"

About eight hours of it, in fact. "If you want me to cheer up your sad little man."

"Yusuf, I swear-"

"Deal or no deal?"

She went silent again. She was definitely fuming at him.

"...Deal."

"Fantastic."

"Thank you."

"I hope you have a marvelous day, Irene."

"You too."

"I'll send you the relevant documents."

"Lovely."

He logged out if his computer. He stretched his shoulders, stiff from too much desk jockying, and headed out the door.

Maybe flossing trophies would enter his normal hygiene support system after this.

[groovyghostnotes]

Why I’m a Vessel Stan

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

because i’ve been active in the clique for so long, i’m often asked “so what’s your favorite album?” and my answer has always been the same. vessel. i’ve been a clikkie for over a decade, and vessel has always been my number one. i think that’s partly due to the fact it has some advantages over the other albums. for me, at least. for example, it was my first introduction to the band. i was 13/14 years old, and i was scrolling through vine. yes, vine was a thing at the time, that’s how long ago it was lol. one of the videos i came across used audio from ‘migraine.’ i was hooked immediately. i vividly remember the part i heard was “sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind.” my little sad self was definitely digging the vibe. beyond just the lyrics, it was something i had never heard before. tyler’s voice and the way he sang was so unique to me. i just had to know who this guy was. so, i gave it a quick google search, and the rest is history.

vessel also has my favorite tøp song ever… my sweet baby car radio. i’ve loved car radio for years, and it’s given me plenty of good memories. i even chose it as my monologue for theater class lol. car radio has always been one of my favorites to see live, and getting to high five tyler during it definitely earns some bonus points. it was also the first song i learned on the drums that i felt very proud of. i’d been playing super simple stuff up until then, so that felt like a real accomplishment at the time.

if i hadn’t have found that random vine, my life would’ve been much different. granted, i’d probably be significantly less annoying, but no where near as happy. i’ve met so many great friends through the clique. i’ve also had life changing experiences. i became a drummer because of this band, and that ultimately changed my life in so many ways. i’m now playing in bands and recording my own music, all because i randomly stumbled upon an album one day. i probably wouldn’t be running this blog/youtube channel, had it not been for the pilots. oh, and running a semi famous fan account that got me on MTV was a pretty fun side quest. that was interesting. although the “tinydun” legacy will haunt me forever.

but thank you, vessel. this weird, beautiful journey started because of you. and because of that, you’ll always be my favorite <3

[taranida]

The Alan headcount; part 1

Alright, I started a theory on all the Alan Wakes we have in the games and, oh boy, did it get bloated. And I actually needed some of the Wakes just to establish important things to draw connections for the main idea. Now, looking at 10k words of build-up without even touching a fun part of connecting the dots, I’ve decided that it would be easier for me and for the reader to have it all split in two.

This part will be focused on the Alans, who don’t really spark arguments yet show and predict a lot. They extend what we know about Alan, add to his character, and allow us to see where some things in other Alans originate from. It will also mostly be focused on pre-AWII, with one exception. There will be no conclusion in the end; it’s just lists of what we know, a bit of dissecting of some of the facts, and nothing more. Aye, I will surely slap a cool quote at the end, but treat it more as a “what we know and ways to interpret it” or a light read of rambling about Alan Wake.

Alan Wake before and during 2010.

I will put this Alan in both parts because he is important, and what I wrote about him here is a foundation that can be applied to any of them (to some extent). We know an awful lot about him (and all of it might be a lie), so I will skip some parts that serve no purpose for the theory.

I’ll call him just Alan; so, what do we know about him:

Alan was born in 1977… or 1978-1979, the guide for AW states he was 31 in 2010, the memorial in AWII reads 1977-2010; go figure.

Alan was born in New York or moved there at a very young age, since he and Barry, who grew up in New York, were childhood friends.

Alan was born with a condition that made him sensitive to light to the point of being blinded by it and prone to migraines.

Alan never knew his father and was raised by his mother, Linda Wake, who had mental issues and spent a lot of time in various institutions while Alan was growing up. Alan was deeply affected by the absence of his father or a father-figure in his life.

Alan had crippling nightmares as a child before his mother gave him the Clicker.

Alan’s first published story was “Errand Boy,” which centred around a broken and twisted father-son relationship, horror, and a lighthouse occupied by the creatures that might’ve been an inspiration for the Taken.

Alan’s first serious writing gig was being a semi-regular writer on the Night Springs show. He hated it, by the way, felt that it was trash, and he was not a real writer. But he got over it; Night Springs ended up being a huge part of his personality.

Alan might’ve taken a job as a night watchman, carrying a gun and torch, in hopes of getting inspiration for his stories; as he states in one of the manuscripts, his first passion was crime. It was a boring gig, but at least he ran into Alice.

Alan is madly in love with Alice and cannot live without her.

Alan also knew that Alice actually can live without him and was always afraid that she will leave him, not allowing himself to truly believe that she loves him.

Alan’s first novel was about Alex Casey; the series grew and brought him success that he didn’t handle well. Parties, fights, substance abuse—all this rock-star lifestyle BS.

Alan considered only two people being close to him: Barry and Alice. And they didn’t get along well, although both care about him and genuinely love him, as he did in return. We have no information about what happened to his mother and what relationship he had with her.

Alan hit a writer’s block after the last Casey novel and his state started to deteriorate. He was moody, angry, and quick to lash out; the rock-star BS intensified. This drove his marriage to a breaking point.

Alan’s involvement in the vacation is unknown; he did say in one of the flashbacks that he wants a vacation for him and Alice, but Alice surely was the one to arrange everything and choose Bright Falls.

Alan forgot more dreams about the Dark Presence than Clay Steward remembers.

Alan had nightmares on a regular basis at the start of the first game; if it’s connected with giving the Clicker to Alice is unknown.

Alan had anger issues.

Alan was a sceptic.

Alan wrote everything that happened in 2010, taking inspiration from Tom Zane’s books, he found in the shoebox in the cabin and advice from his non-human editor Barbara Jagger. His scepticism didn’t stop him from writing supernatural events and Lovecraftian beings.

Alan, even at the time of the first game, had very strict rules about how exactly he should write to make fiction come true. He presents it as some sort of hunches or a writer’s wisdom.

Alan can manipulate time.

Alan ate the Dark Presence and enslaved the Bright Presence.

Alright, maybe the last fact was a bit too exaggerated, but it’s not without truth. Alan did indeed enslave the Bright Presence (and, frankly, everyone who has been mentioned in the manuscripts, plus some others, whose manuscripts Alan didn’t find), but the deal with the Dark Presence is a bit more nuanced. His last words, before he sat down to write “the ending to the story,” effectively rewriting the whole loop we just witnessed in the game, were about balance. Knowing what we know now, Alan might’ve consumed the Dark Presence’s powers whilst banishing her, effectively becoming too large of a presence himself to leave the Dark Place, or he took her place because, as he said, the scales have to balance, everything has a price; the price of killing the Dark Presence and freeing Alice from the Dark Place is staying in the Dark Place (as he himself believes in AWII) with complimentary Scratch in your head. Both of those possibilities have supporting evidence, and it doesn’t really matter which one of them you choose to believe; they lead to the same outcome.

Being consistent af, I will address the first fact(-ish?): as far as I know, no extra material was deemed non-canon, therefore the guide for AW is still a source one can use. Yes, it has some conflicts with the games, but the games have some conflicts with the games, and given the loops, memory issues, and the nature of this story, that has no need for retcons (‘tis just another loop, mate!), I’d say Alan just doesn’t remember his own birthdate and changes it on a whim. Or there might be another reason, drawn from other sources, that have nothing to do with our story.

Honestly, I’m not sure other facts need any clarification; people who will read this surely know a thing or two about Alan Wake. Moving on.

Oh, boy, the weirdest part of this part of the theory is here. We step into the territory of Alans upon Alans. Join me on a glorious adventure of exploring the multialans, because they are plenty, although the juiciest Alans might await us in the second part.

Dark Alan

We will start with the Dark Alan from The Signal and The Writer DLCs. For clarity, I will refer to him as, well, D!Alan, yes, I’m this cheap.

D!Alan is batshit crazy.

D!Alan gave up and allowed the darkness to consume him.

D!Alan is suspiciously similar to the Dark Presence, both in powers and behaviour.

D!Alan is trying to get rid of his rational part, coming off as malicious, but in fact being desperate.

D!Alan doesn’t need a crutch of writing, he can dream whatever he wants and the Dark Place will deliver; more so, we know for sure he was in no state to even touch the typewriter. He can occasionally narrate what’s going on, but it seems to be more about his need to vent.

D!Alan claims that light burns him.

D!Alan is powerful enough to swipe away the Bright Presence (although not without the help of Rational Alan).

D!Alan loves TVs.

D!Alan is bitter and hurt because he was left to die in the Dark Place.

D!Alan is best represented in the cutscene with Hartman, where he agrees that everything that happened was only in his head. As we learn from AWII, being Alan and being trapped in the Dark Place is a fate worse than death.

D!Alan is in control in the DLCs.

D!Alan is one of the most tragic Alans we have across the games. He wants everything to end, and if you listen to his lines, that are not about how his other part will die; it’s heartbreaking. I find those at the end of The Signal, the most revealing:

What did he have left to fight for? He’d lost everything even before he came here. Even his sanity was gone. What was the point? Why had everyone abandoned him to die here?

The loss of everything even before is a bit nuanced: was it about the troubled marriage, burden of fame, inability to write, or something else? Something else will be discussed in the second part. Nonetheless, this line gives me chills. And the last one, I quoted here... well, D!Alan is crazy; he cannot think clearly to realise that, even if he’s right, not much time passed for him to come to this conclusion. The DLCs take place right after the first game, before AWAN, actually long before, since in AWAN Alan states he already learnt how to try to communicate with our world, managed to get annoyed enough with Mr. Scratch, who visited him multiple times, and decided to change the story he was writing. At the end of The Writer we see the name of the next manuscript "Return." It is not the AWAN's "Return," it’s a different story that was sacrificed to save Alice from Mr. Scratch.

D!Alan is not just suspiciously similar to the Dark Presence; he is the Dark Presence of the DLCs. Not only he does what DP!Barbara was doing, he behaves exactly like Scratch—insecure, lost, yearning for love and attention. D!Alan affects the Dark Place the way Scratch does in AWII, and Scratch and Barbara act differently: Barbara uses her innate powers to keep Alan and Alice hostage, banish the Bright Presence from the cabin, or push Alan away from his clairvoyant dream-memory; Scratch just shows up, changing the story to his whims, wrecking everything on his way. Their control is manifested differently; Scratch is a Dark Presence that can create. As is D!Alan, he’s dreaming everything that happens (mostly), and we can see how his state deteriorates through the environment.

D!Alan is surely not writing, on more than one TV we see him laying on the floor, narrating what’s happening or about to happen. This Alan is a Master of the Dark Place. All it needed is just to lose all sanity, reason, and care not about all the rules Alan likes to impose onto himself. First glimpse at why Alan is unable to escape the Dark Place for thirteen years, being perfectly able to do it at any point.

D!Alan also let the darkness in and decided it wasn’t so bad. It can be tied to Alan’s history of substance abuse (who knows what kind of high the darkness can give?). But, no matter why he decided it was nice, after the two Alans reunited in the end, this understanding, lingering feeling surely stayed. Albeit somewhat controlled for the time being.

Rational Alan

After the D!Alan, we surely need to talk about the Rational Alan, opposing the Dark Alan in the DLCs. Following the lazy pattern, I’ll call him R!Alan.

R!Alan is not so dissimilar to Alan. Actually, there are not many differences at all.

R!Alan as well can shape the Dark Place, although way more subtle than the D!Alan.

R!Alan is neither a “Bright Alan” nor a good version of Alan; he’s irritable, bitter, and not a nice person through and through.

R!Alan is assisted by the Bright Presence, who delivers him some of the manuscript pages that turn into words or phrases (of power?).

R!Alan needs to use these words to manifest tools, goods, memories, or entities, but it is unclear if every word originates from the manuscript or even delivered by the Bright Presence. There is a high possibility he dreams some of them himself.

R!Alan created Imaginary Barry to accompany him.

R!Alan could be dreaming some of the environment as well, since there are helpful things around. Barry even warns R!Alan not to pursue the train of thought that Barry himself is from R!Alan’s imagination any further. Probably, because unlike D!Alan, R!Alan has no control over what will manifest and how.

R!Alan is the closest to AWII!Alan: he’s confused, in need of someone to lead him, and knows that somewhere something awaits him, but doesn’t really know what and why. He’s not in control as much as AWII!Alan is not in control.

R!Alan is hopeful, determined and not ready to give up.

R!Alan is quick to ditch Barry if it serves his purpose.

D!Alan and R!Alan are two halves of the one whole, but they are not the opposites in everything, only in a desire or the lack thereof to keep living. Where D!Alan gave up, R!Alan had changed his mind on this, yet he did want to as well after finishing Departure and saving Alice. They are not Good and Bad Alan, they are Rational and Irrational; the only reason I called the Irrational Alan “Dark” is because, take away some of rationality, rules, and care for the future, D!Alan is a Dark Presence, able to create genuine art and control the Dark Place. I guess the implications here are obvious.

There is not much to add, except for—I'll be damned if R!Alan wasn’t an arse for ditching Barry so quickly and easily. Actually, so much so, he, himself, was angry enough about that, he tried to kill himself.

Imaginary Barry

I’ll explain it with yet another Alan in the DLC, the third player in that story: the Imaginary Barry. He is Alan, too; well, a figment of imagination, but it’s the Dark Place, putting it into the Bright Presence’s words, he is as real as anything else there. I will refer to him as I!Barry for clarity, but keep in mind that there is absolutely nothing in his behaviour that is not stemming from Alan himself.

I!Barry is the originator of the “I’M COMPLICATED” meme. Yes, it’s an important fact; I had to put it here. He’s the one to call Alan complicated and then go as far as to call even his memories complicated.

I!Barry literally voices what Alan thinks about the surroundings before Alan does it himself.

I!Barry is the embodiment of Alan’s fear of being alone. There is no game between them, no secret; they both understand all too well that it’s not Barry, it’s a memory, a perception, a guess on how the real Barry would act in some circumstances. And they both are cool with it.

I!Barry comes off as his own man, but in truth, he does what Alan believes he would do, be it a commentary on some nasty noises or an annoying useless advice Alan doesn’t need.

I!Barry is not controlled by D!Alan, he’s R!Alan’s creation, and he’s trying to kill him at the end of The Writer because, as the Bright Presence said, R!Alan has to abandon his delusions.

I!Barry is not the one to be offended by it; Alan is. Every dialogue line in the I!Barry’s Boss Fight is Alan’s guilt for his behaviour.

I!Barry’s Boss Fight in itself is Alan’s desire to have Barry by his side, his internal conflict for having to part ways, even if it’s not the real Barry. And it is his punishment for everything he’s done and about to do.

I!Barry is the first instance of Alan creating someone in the Dark Place who has some amount of agency, a different appearance, and a different voice that we see on screen.

There is not much to add, although I!Barry and some other entities deserve their own explanation, so I will leave it at that. I just need to establish that Alan is capable of creating semi-independent beings with their own appearances and voices that are to the point controlled by him, but not necessarily consciously or in a beneficial way.

AWAN’s Alan

My favourite Alan is, of course, the AWAN’s Alan. He’s the middle point between two madnesses, the result of a clear mind, a clear goal, and thorough planning. All the good stuff. Because I can’t help meself, I will refer to him as Awan (imagine some cute emoji here).

Awan is the most elevated Alan we ever saw on screen.

Awan is the most confident Alan we ever saw on screen.

Awan is a Master of the Dark Place even more than the D!Alan and without any side effects!

Awan can control it to the point where he kinda-sorta learnt quite a lot about the flora, fauna, population, and the ways in which the Dark Place operates, and felt safe there with only a torch and a gun.

Awan was contacting our world intentionally via radio and dreams (and managed to remember it).

Awan’s biggest achievement—he created a threshold with the Dark Place and Someplace, Arizona. Which, if the map doesn’t lie, is quite a distance from Cauldron Lake.

Awan is everything all the Alans we saw strive to achieve.

Awan is determined to change; he wants to be a better man; he acknowledged his flaws and worked on them.

Awan is still a jerk; don’t get me wrong, but he’s trying, alright.

Awan is elevated enough to create, together with Alice, an object of power to destroy Mr. Scratch.

Awan mastered the loop technique not just to follow the breadcrumbs he left for himself, but to the point where he remembers all the loops clearly and acts accordingly.

Awan even managed to make other people remember the loops to have allies.

Awan, obviously, is the most powerful time manipulator, who actually understands what he’s doing. From the Alans we saw on screen, of course.

Awan is the last Alan to be near the Bird Leg Cabin; in fact, Awan drowned it.

Awan might live on his own private island in the Dark Place with Alice.

Yeah, I guess it would be better to address the last point. Quite frankly, we don’t really know what happened between AWAN and AWII, but there is a possibility that the AWAN’s Alan, like Tom Zane, ended up in a personal paradise. For him, it would be a film setting where he met Alice at the end of the story-mode, creating a private island. I mean, not like we have a shortage of Alans for this to be impossible, and let’s not kid ourselves, the AWII Alan is a huge downgrade from the AWAN Alan; there is no explanation of why and how. Why did Awan fall into the spiral of madness and lost all of his elevation perks, why doesn’t he remember anything, where are his torch and gun at the beginning of the second game, why would he need to rob Noir-Casey to have them? It’s a wild idea (or not really), but in one of the manuscripts Alice’s Film described as their salvation, their chance to be together, a tin can with a bit of magic that Alice unknowingly created. And I’m sure, no one will doubt, Alice is capable of creating miracles.

Other than that, not much to add here; I know there is a chunk of people who didn’t play AWAN; obviously, I can’t explain the story and its significance in the first part of a theory about a completely different thing. But everyone who played it and read all the manuscripts will understand what I’m talking about. The change from AWAN's Alan to AWII Alan is too staggering, really.

Finally, we are in the AWII territory for our last Alan for this part.

Noir-Casey

He, as well as Barry in the first game’s DLCs, is a figment of imagination, and he as well is as real as anything else in the Dark Place. I will refer to him as Noir-Casey.

Noir-Casey follows his own set of rules and character traits, because even before the Dark Place, he was Alan’s creation with thought-out and established behaviour.

Noir-Casey, as well as I!Barry, is an embodiment of Alan’s fear of being alone. This time he has no allies from (kinda) without, so he creates one within and doesn’t let go even after Noir-Casey’s deaths.

Noir-Casey acts the way Alan feels he would in given circumstances, unlike with I!Barry they do play the game of Noir-Casey being his own entity, although they do it following the script.

Noir-Casey is the only character, even in the Dark Place, whose thoughts Alan can "read," not only as an inspiration-clairvoyance “match the black and white bubble” scattered around the Writer’s City, but also when Noir-Casey is right in front of Alan.

Noir-Casey, even while confined by the story, knows that he’s just a character, and he is Alan. Frankly, Noir-Casey is not really happy about that, but it is in his character to suffer silently and just keep going.

Noir-Casey knows about the loops, remembers some of them at least, but, again, true to his character and bound by the script, he acts on this knowledge only in certain moments, giving vital information in a way that won’t affect the story (Alan doesn’t react to any of those bomb-drops at all).

Noir-Casey might’ve been created as a helping hand in stopping Alan from writing; every time Alan encounters him, Noir-Casey comes uncomfortably close to killing him. Since and if that was true, things have changed: in the second alley scene, being suddenly shot in the abdomen would actually trigger Noir-Casey to fire back, but he doesn’t.

Noir-Casey in the first alley scene claims that Alan will kill him there loop by loop; what we are shown hints that Noir-Casey is killed by Scratch, the scene is eerily similar to what we can collect from the moment when Scratch gets to the real Casey. Yet Noir-Casey’s wrath is directed at Alan.

Noir-Casey obviously knows more than he lets out. He doesn’t have memory problems and understands a thing or two about the Dark Place, even if he can’t really comprehend it, being a character from the books.

Noir-Casey might be Alan’s regret for killing the PI from his novels, as it was a starting point for everything to go down in his life. Noir-Casey might be Alan’s desire to be tough and move on, ignoring the pain. Noir-Casey constant presence in Initiation can be Alan’s “I’m sorry” and newfound appreciation for the character he once despised.

Noir-Casey in many ways plays the role of the Bright Presence.

Noir-Casey is yet another time when Alan created someone with agency and a different appearance and voice.

Noir-Casey is clearly a literary device for Alan in AWII. It doesn’t really matter how exactly he was manifested: was Alan dreaming about him, reminiscing about the times when everything was sunshine and rainbows, or was he deliberately writing him into Initiation loop by loop; Noir-Casey surely is yet another Alan. Noir-Casey serves few purposes that might or might not have changed since the moment of his creation, and he does a pretty good job at it; what’s interesting is that the character knows and understands more than the writer. And this will come into play after we will talk about yet another set of Alans in the second part.

The hero has a thousand faces and a hopeless path

[emeraldraccoon478]

in appreciation of eda the owl lady (and toh as a whole)

so I’m gonna just ramle here a little bit, it is quite late as I’m writing this and I have a migraine so I might be a little incoherent

so I have autism, one of the things this has always mentioned for me is that I assign a lot of importance to rules, like A LOT of importance to rules, and I have since as far back as I can remember. For years I’d have to leave the room when watching tv shows or movies and a character was breaking a rule because it made me so upset. years go by and slowly I’m getting better at this, (I can watch the entirety of the croods now which was a huge step) (for anyone who doesn’t know one of the themes of that movie is that sometimes to rules are broken and need to be updated) and along comes the owl house now I had heard a lot of good things about this show and I was determined to watch it, i really wanted to like it, so I kinda forced my to stay and watch it even when Luz following owlbert made me upset, because I wanted to give it a chance

and I can’t quite explain what happened that day but by the end of the first episode I had grown attached to eda, i couldn’t quite place it but something about her resonated with me

One of the biggest things in the owl house is standing up to awful leaders and disobeying unjust laws time and time again although eda is flawed and doesn’t always follow the rules she cares (and sure maybe she sometimes scams people, but that’s lying which is separate from rule breaking and doesn’t make me upset in the same way)

what eda, and the owl house as a whole, really helped me internalize is that rules and authority figures are not always right. One of the biggest moments that sticks out to me actually comes pretty late in the show from season 2b, in Thems The Breaks Kid we learn that

A lot of the things eda does are things that make sense to her (think celebrating the detention pits birthday)

When she goes to h.e.c.k although everything is school based, school is an authority that’s supposed to have their best interest in mind, it’s like undeniably bad. I don’t think Raine and Eda ever actually break any rules either (not until the very end) just have fun within them but are punished anyway. How is that fair? It’s not.

like I don’t know I’m not explaining this very well, but the owl house is single-handedly responsible for giving me the tools to defy authority figures and break rules when it comes to my own moral code. The owl house single-handedly gave me the tools to fight facism. I owe this show a lot

also I know this is mostly appreciation to Eda but I want to take a minute to talk about both Lilith and Raine for a moment

Lilith is probably the character most like me in the entire show, she values rules and structures and systems, she craves approval from authority figures, she changed a lot about herself to try and fit in. She’s an anxious overachiever who has the type of trust that can cause problems. But she’s able to grow away from that a bit, and it’s slow, and she reverts back a lot, and I appreciate that we get to see her struggle after being faced with the fact everything she believed was a lie

now Raine I feel like was more comprehensive around the system from the start, never really had a ton on trust in it. But it’s complicated, and I don’t think we ever get a chance to see the whole picture. And idk, it’s nice to see, I can’t really express my thoughts right now

but yeah, thank you to anyone who actually read this. Please talk to me about this. Sorry probably only 50 percent made sense

[yourlocaldouma]

I kinda was just motivated. It's really my first time using this app so please be patient with me. I just wanted to see innocent zero with a contrast of his color palette with wavy hair.

Innocent Zero fell for you little by little, him not really noticing it and excusing his behavior by thinking 'im only doing this so you cannot cause more trouble'

He'd be wrapping an arm around your waist keeping you close whenever there was a ball that he had planned and invited all the underground crime lords to have a private 'chats' with each other (making more business deals and plans of smuggling rare band things and whatnots)

He calls you pet names, such as dear, darling, sweet heart (whenever his mad).

He'll randomly kiss you from time to time, not really explaining why. (He likes the flustered look on your face, to be the one to only ellicite that type of reaction from you sends a thrill to his veins)

He buys you various items that connects to your hobbies, saying something along the lines of "here, don't bother me"

You sometimes do gardening on the indoor garden, and he watches you without you knowing.

You were quite devastated when you found out that he infested it with magic-sucking bugs and made it a death trap for any intruder that had entered the castle. But in return, he gave you a few potted plants for you to take care of, saying, "I don't like that moppy look on your face." He doesn't even know why he did that, he literally shoved it into your arms carelessly.

Don't be concerned when you wake up from your slumber, finding yourself seated on his lap, with him twirling a strand of your hair with a blank look on his face. He was contemplating whether he should kill you or not.. but he would quickly make up a reason as to why not. His children were fond of you, their mother. And killing you would just end up sloppily doing their missions because of their 'pathetic' grieving. (His words not mine)

Just go back to sleep and don't question him about it, you'll be getting a glare and a slap to your mouth if you ever mention it in the morning. Though he heals the tiny bruise afterwards.

He had starved your children when they were younger as a punishment. (HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR WEIGHT ON WIKI!?)

He had remembered you crying after Epidem was in an infirmary bed, clutching his tiny hands between yours. He may had gotten too far on Epidem.

Fun fact: Epidem liked pudding because it was the first flavorful and sweetest thing he had ever eaten after you had introduced it. But he limits himself because he didn't want to see you sad and get beaten by his father. This was when he was still a child.

He was standing in the doorway, looking at the scene, your back was facing him.

He didn't like the tiny sobs that escaped from your lips, he could feel an unknown migraine that formed everytime you let out small cries, or the way his heart was painfully getting squeezed. He marched towards you ripping your hold on the boys hands and gripped your shoulder, "Stop crying." He commands, voice threatening.

After that he had dragged you away and locked you in your shared bedroom.

Cyril Marcus is an asshole, an asshole that you unfortunately married.

[roublardise]

one year ago I started posting my dear destiel fic THE WAY HOME 🌈🌱💍 (ao3 - carrd - post)

I've talked about it through ask games, I'm still adding things to my general fic tag. and I'm still always eager to share my writer's commentary at any opportunity!!

.

so to celebrate, I wanted to share some of my favorite lines from chapter 1 🥰 it's such a solid exposition I love it a lot

Dean is going to be late.

banger of a first line considering *gestures to everything* this both set up a huge theme in a very simple way AND is a crumb of ADHD!Dean AND calls back to the Grand Gesture

It's not a coldness from the night nor the very slight breeze, he realizes. It's from a lack of warmth. Like a spot in a bed no one has slept in during the last three days. [...] Like a spot a body turns back to in the morning, searching for the contentment felt just a moment ago.

THESIS!! you search for what you once had. but the bed got cold in your absence and you can warm it again but it'll never feel the same.

“You staying long?” More small talk. “Probably not.” And here goes whatever hope he still had. “As I said, it wasn't an emergency so.. I should fly back tomorrow.” Cas gives him another awkward almost-smile. Dean hates it.

Cas is lying here btw. which is a very stupid lie bc he will see Dean again, obviously, considering his plans. but he lies nonetheless I love a guy who lies and makes the reader go 'uh? wasn't he staying? he said he was staying.' keep you on your toes!! WILL he be staying!? 🧐

“Are you..” Dean makes a vague hand gesture. He doesn't even know what he's trying to describe by encompassing all of Cas. “..you know?”

underrated funniest line TO ME!!!

.

song of the chapter: 'tis the damn season - Taylor Swift & Thursday - Holly Humberstones

other fun facts:

I'm the one who, like, melted my carpet once

there're 6 Taylor Swift's references in this chapter

the reason I gave Dean chronic migraines instead of the most logical choice (Sam) is bc Dean is the main character here and I wanted to. thematically I do beautiful things with it, the ice-pick migraine scene hello???

Dean & Crowley watching Mozart l'opéra rock might seem like pure self-indulgence (it is) BUT ALSO. we know Dean enjoys musicals, and I think he would love MoR. it's literally about doomed gay love & internalized homophobia & life regrets & bdsm. ofc it's a drowley musical.

MoR is available on HD with english subtitles on youtube btw and it's one of the greatest musical ever

[thoraeth]

A/N: 850 words, gn!reader. You're the personal assistant of the weirdest punk band in the Grand Line and today you're having a breakdown. Unfortunately, Buggy has no intentions of leaving you alone.

[One Piece punk band AU/ modern AU]

Cut out for the job

The door slams closed. You kick your sneakers away, enjoying the silence of your hotel room.

You haven't been able to catch your breath all day: Mr. Trafalgar called at 6 am because Ace was held at the police station; third time this month. Then it was Barto's turn. He needed your opinion on a nice gift for his nana, but kept arguing that your ideas were stupid. Franky gave you a migraine, shouting left and right during the band's weekly meeting and Buggy…oh, Buggy. He was insufferable these days: snappy, needy, tense, constantly asking you to fetch him stuff, to take him places.

You’re starting to feel like you’re never enough, drowning in this chaotic routine.

You can almost hear your mother's voice in your head: “Are you really throwing your life away to follow a band of idiots?!” Well, in your defense, being a band’s personal assistant was supposed to be fun. But now? Here you are, tired, sad and underpaid, living in yet another horrible hotel room. Maybe you're not cut out for this job.

Your phone glows up, a text from Buggy. “It's 11 pm for fuck's sake!” you shout, throwing the buzzing device on the sofa.

Buggy has been doing it for weeks: every night he sends you tons of messages for the most trivial stuff. He’s lost his mascara, bought ten pairs of shoes, whines about his paycheck. A bratty, pushy attitude he’s never had before.

In fact, the two of you used to have the most interesting conversations and a special chemistry that made you feel some type of way more than once. Like that night, backstage. The glances, the gentle touching while you helped him getting dressed…you can still feel the goosebumps on your skin.

You pick up your phone, puffing at the crowd of notifications.

[Hey, you still up? Listen, face paint is running out, I’m thinking cherry 3.2 this time but I’m not sure if 1 or 2 cans.

Heyyyy are you ignoring me?? 👺😭 You sleeping already?]

[Oi Bug, can we discuss this tomorrow? It's way past my working hours.]

[...ok.]

[Rough day, I really need to unwind 🥲]

[ Wanna hang out? A little fun will make you feel better.]

[ Thanks but I’m done with work, see you tomorrow!]

[seen 00:15 AM]

[Buggy? You ok?]

[seen 00:50 AM]

“Shit. He's upset now.” You whisper, your eyes and mouth wide open “What if he gets me fired?”

You feel low-key furious: you shouldn't be punished for setting boundaries. If he’s playing the cocky boss during the day, you can play that game too and clock out at night. Screw him.

The sudden sound of the doorbell makes you jump out of your skin. “Hey it's me.” A familiar voice comes from outside the door, muffled.

Stomping to the peephole, you see Buggy. He’s nervously thinkering with his blue hair, pacing back and forth in the duck hoodie you got him for his birthday.

“Are you serious?” You ask, opening up.

“I know, I’m sorry. Just five minutes and I'll be gone.”

Buggy's not wearing his piercings and face paint; he looks serious, a bit scared. His ice blue eyes stare at you in silence and all your anger seems to melt away as he sits on the sofa.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Am I fired…?”

“What? No!” He shrieks, outraged. “Just sit, please.”

The second you're next to him, Buggy focuses on his boots, hands twitching on his knees.

“I-I know I've been a bit of an asshole lately.” He stutters. “I drove you crazy asking tons of stuff and…”

“You’re being a pain in the ass. Yes.”

“I’m sorry. I was just trying to spend more time with you but I messed up.” Buggy side-eyes you, his face red and flustered.

“I think I like you. A lot.”

Those words make your heart race so fast you can barely breathe.

He continues: “I tried to write to you, but every time… I couldn't say it the way I wanted.”

“Is that why you kept texting me for hours every night?!” you snap, breaking your silence.

Buggy jumps back in his seat “I didn't realize I was bothering you! I've always enjoyed our silly chats. But I'll stop, I got it now. We're just colleagues.”

You burst out laughing. Buggy leans towards you, shouting things you can't hear over the joy exploding in your chest.

He's about to get up, distraught, when you reach for his neck and pull him towards you, pressing your lips on his. Still a bit surprised, Buggy melts into your kiss, holding you so tight it almost hurts.

“For a second I thought I didn't want this job anymore.” You chuckle in between kisses.

“I’ll ask Trafalgar to give you a raise, then.”

“He's gonna fire us both when he knows about this.”

You dive your back into the sofa, pressed under Buggy’s weight. As he kisses and laughs into your neck, you remember why you decided to follow this band of idiots in the first place: there’s no other place in the world where you’ve felt more alive.

[cartelheir]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN

ALIAS/NAME: vivi BIRTHDAY/AGE: november 13th / 26 ZODIAC: scorpio HEIGHT: 164cm americans fuck you (or please tell me my height in feet and inches bc i'm confused) HOBBIES: writing obviously, watching movies, singing, cooking, researching random things i become obsessed with. FAVORITE COLORS: teal and red. FAVORITE BOOKS: atm it's probaby my dark vanessa. definitely a source of pat inspo too. LAST MOVIE: i think it was anora in the movies!! so so good. LAST SHOW: gyeongseong creature. listen i'm OBSESSED, i just finished season 1 and i cried so hard i gave myself a migraine. could not recommend enough. RECENT READ: behind closed doors by b.a. paris, didn't love it but it was alright. FUN FACT: i've been working hard to be more flexible and get my splits back, not even close yet but recently i've been able to get my knees to touch the floor in butterfly pose with little effort and it makes me 🥲

tagged by : @urbanoath <3 tagging : i feel like i've done one of these a while ago so i'm sorry if i tagged you twice?? but @sharpsuite @afteriimage @parieur @owestwind @ccrleone if you guys want to!

[ophizz]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚Math 3 Reflection🪷

Imagine going fishing, with your trusted bucket and a big cooler with ice, but when you get there, you forgot to get your fishing rod. You thought to yourself, it's okay, I'll just get a stick and maybe the fish will bite onto that. Which if in a scenario where you actually know what you're doing, it would work. Unsurprisingly i don't have the determination to wait, and try. So I gave up even though there was a fishing gear store right beside the lake. With just a small set back I gave up even though there were perfectly good resources around me that could've helped me achieve my goal and probably I could have had multiple fishes in my ice cooler if only I didn't give up. But who am I to delude myself that I could look past small mistakes and keep trying when I know that I will never follow through on my promises. 

On a positive note, a topic I liked was graphing the piecewise functions, majorly because I wasn't suffering through a migraine throughout the day. Although it was fun because you draw lines and that for me was enjoyable. And also the fact that you kind of merge the lines to make this big function thing. I found it easy to understand but it made me go back to remembering my roots and learn how to graph because I don't know how to graph certain equations anymore ;(

Additionally, the easiest one by far is the inverse function because it's just like finding x. It's simple, straightforward, and concise. Although getting the domain and range does get confusing because not always can you imagine how the function would translate into a graph. 

I didn't find any of the math concepts inspiring. None of it. Although it isn't because of how it was taught or who taught it or whatever external factors. It's just that the subject material makes me just want to rip my hair out because numbers just don't translate as easily as letters do in my brain. Thinking about it, maybe all of the math concepts were inspiring. Inspiring me to just give up and let God lead the way. Just kidding! What a joke! ahaha!

Moving forward– I think I have mastered getting the inverse of a function the most, only because it's very similar to finding x which we always do. It's simple and straightforward, just isolate y and there you have the inverse, or at least I hope I think I've mastered it. Maybe its just my ego thinking that because its simple and i was able to do it, ive mastered it already. Knowing who i am and what i am, i know that i could never master anything because of my lack of patince. 

Transformation of functions is the hardest concept to grasp. It's all patterns so logically it should be simple but no, I’m stupid. I can't find the patterns so most of the time when I'm answering transformation of functions I'm just guessing. Although when it's just one part, like how many units did it shift to the right, I'd be able to answer. That I can do, but when you give me a before and after transformation of a function and ask me what changed, I would bet you my right kidney and left foot that I would not be able to answer you sir. Especially when you add the order that they are supposed to be in? I'd much rather bet on the odds that I'd win a round of pusoy dos, than answering the question correctly. 

What quick notes do you have for:

i. your teacher;

Sir Joseph, I'm sorry. For all my actions, for all I've said, for all I am that you know me to be. I hope that you forgive me, although I know that there is a slim chance, I still pray that my being is redeemable enough. I won't promise anything anymore. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I failed, I am well aware, I know I shouldn't give up but I will, I do. It's nothing personal I promise. It's me that's the problem. Sir, you are one of the most attentive mathematics teachers I've met and it's no joke sir. You put everything on a silver platter yet students like me fail to take the opportunities. I'm sorry sir. I hope you know that I truly am sorry sir. I'm sorry.

ii. your classmates;

They're cool, I mean, everyone is okay, nothing much for them. I hope they keep up their studies and we could all graduate as a batch.  

iii. Yourself?

I hope I won't promise anyone anything ever anymore. I hope I learn from my mistakes. I hope my apologies could sound more genuine. I wish my apologies translate as genuine as the way they are in my chest. I should learn. I should study. But I know I’ll give up. I won’t do anything about it. An irredeemable piece of flesh guaranteed to suffer in the everlasting flames of hell. 

end note: I have given up on what I am in math, in all my subjects. An obvious decline is seen in all my subjects and I know math wouldn't be the one who has the worst decline. I like to think that I am capable at math but I know full well, deep down that I am not. That I could never be what I wish to be as a scholar. And every night I wish and pray that I wasn't the person that I am. That my physical self and all the opportunities that came with it would've been given to a more grateful soul. Im sorry Sir Joseph, I truly am. I hope you won't forgive me. I know that you will forget, and Im happy about that prospect. If you won't, then I hope you will. Thank you for being our math 3 teacher. Im so so sorry.

[ckgrouchy]

B12 headcanons even though no one asked (more random facts based than lore based)

georgie

- seems like one of those guys who make cringe pov tiktoks

- playboy type of guy

- gives "helpful" relationship advice but all his relationships either end really quickly or drag out too long

- gymbro, shows off his muscles to the other members

- tried to act all tough and cool but immediately gets flustered when someone even acts the slightest bit sweet to him

- georgie is just his nickname, he never got over how cringey it sounded especially for his whole persona, but it's what his mom call him and he can't make lose the nickname his mom gave him

tj

- seems very chill, easy to get along with

- had a very close relationship with his sister, therefore treats girls like goddesses (in other words, with respect)

- kinda insecure about his hairline so he hides it with his huge hats

- kind of guy who had bad taste in clothing, wears the most random stuff

parker

- soft baby boi

- likes to sew his own clothes (the other members make fun of him for this, but he doesn't seem to mind)

- only joined the boyband business so he could exploit his looks and earn money

- an artistic kid, he used to show his drawings to his parents (albeit they all ended up in the trash)

- extroverted growing up, so doesn't know the concept of boundaries (he's trying though)

- gives the other band members shitty nicknames based on their appearance

- had neglectful parents, therefore always trying to get attention from someone, anyone

victor

- tomboy

- doesn't have a mother so she ended the way she is today

- sort of a loudmouth, can't shut up about things she's passionate about

- had a lot of brothers, only girl in the family

- mostly wears hand me downs from her brothers

- can put up a fight if desired, once beat up an entire gang

- georgie's teaching her how to become a gymbro

abraham

- incredibly introverted, took a little while for him to settle in

- likes doing mundane activities like organising and cataloging, pretty much helps keep the group on track of upcoming tasks

- lacks in self confidence so he doesn't believe it when he achieves something really big

- boris is his best friend (can't convince me otherwise), they just fit together

- the most rational out of everyone

boris

- incredibly extroverted (even more than parker)

- one of those guys who takes sports WAY too seriously

- plays soccer (or basically any sport) with victor and always loses, despite being a self-proclaimed sports geek

- was once a member of a gang, still wears his old clothes from said gang

- no one takes him seriously and he hates it

- really close with abraham, the neutralizer to his overreacting personality

- usually the one to start fights between the band, usually over something stupid

abraham h

- GAY

- not very approachable because of his resting bitch face

- doesn't like interacting with anyone that much, just generally a silent guy (except when he's ranting or blowing up on everyone)

- the dad of the band, almost always lectures everyone on their behavior like they're children

- legit gets migraines when he sees tj's outfits for the day

- swears... a lot

- argues a lot with boris, they hate each other

constantine

- no one can convince me that he's not trans

- used to have pin straight spiky hair and hated it so much, used lots of product to get fluffy hair he wanted, though it damaged his hair a bit...

- has a reallly fancy name but just sticks to one

- when he was younger, he had a hyperfixation that involved paegants, who knows why

- definitely a queen fan, i can just see it

- used to čüt himself when he was stressed, now his scars are healing

- loves wearing oversized clothing, but hides it from the band

- had an emo phase durning high school

[galindathegay]

So...the first half of the concert was good. They did acoustic/reimagined versions of some of their songs. Most was amazing. The slowed-down edition of Mrs Elliot? They lost rhythm halfway through. It was painful. But hey, at least they admitted that they'd only done two run-throughs of it beforehand. And this was the farewell tour, so it was all chill anyway.

During intermission I got t-shirts for Devon and me. His has the original Haggishead logo (bagpipes with a smiley face). Mine is the "Exit the Haggis" t-shirt listing all the different tour locations.

Putting the rest of my night under a read-more cut. (Read on if you want to read non-graphic descriptions of vomitting.) I did have fun, but I'm not gonna omit the fact that things for me turned a bit sideways lol... Prepare for a novel. (It does get sappy at the end. Look for the bold red text.)

During the first set, though, I got a headache, which got progressively worse even with the Loop earbuds in. (I think it was a tension headache that turned into a migraine.) Sitting in the lobby and staying still was fine. I sat out there for another hour just scrolling on my phone and wishing for someone to smash my skull open with a mallet. But after the concert I moved outside in the cold, without my coat, because the rush of people triggered my anxiety.

Then the do-gooders started popping up.

I hate pain. I hate strangers. Usually with strangers I can pretend to be kind. And with the first two people who checked on me, I was fine. Strangers 3 through 7? With all of them touching my shoulder and not listening when I said my husband was inside and I was fine? I fucking lost it. Screaming and sobs echoing down the alleyway at 10PM, I couldn't stop until Devon appeared. My headache was worse, blood pressure was through the roof, but at least he could make things End.

He held my hand and allowed me to continue my meltdown as we walked to his car. Everything was fine for a while - Devon put on the music, we rolled down the windows, I put the seat back, and he drove as fast as he legally could. When he talked about the concert or sang, I was fine. But when he started to ask how I was feeling or mention how far away we were from home, Devon immediately needed to pull over so I could throw up on the side of the road. (This happened at least three times.)

After getting home, I hugged the toilet until my stomach decided it was done torturing me. Devon sat by me the whole time. He gave me cold packs to curl around to help my body temp come down. Galinda curled up on top of me and purred directly into my ear. These key things helped me fall asleep so fast that it still amazes me a few hours after waking up.

(End of gross stuff.)

As sour as I am about needing to miss the second half, I actually spent that whole time reflecting on the band and how it intertwines with my relationship with Devon. I went to an ETH concert the very first time I visited him in Massachusetts. I had never heard of them, but I'm all for new music, and it was a great opportunity to spend time with my partner in-person. I've been blown away ever since. "Down With The Ship" still is one of what I consider Our songs. Once I moved up, almost every year Devon amd I would go to see them at the Iron Horse with his family. To think that I've been a fan as long as I've been with him is astounding to me.

My marriage outlasted Enter the Haggis. Now that's a milestone.

Then again, my relationship with music is complex. Time is marked by songs or phases of sound instead of calendar dates or clock ticks. To give someone a song is to say "I love you". To give someone a whole band and nearly 14 years of time with it? Devon proposed in January 2011. He just didn't know it.

Now to hunt down all of the CDs from his collection...

[savage-rhi]

"no, you didn't just call me 'love' you said 'my love'. that makes a huge difference." Ignis and noct?

Noctis's head was swimming around with so many thoughts that he thought he would drown. The migraine he had carried all day didn't help things. Much less did his posture tamper down the ache as he was sitting slouched forward on a stool near the kitchen island of his apartment with his head laying against the countertop.

Occasionally, Noctis's gaze would follow Ignis as he went about cooking dinner. Tonight was fresh poultry from Insomnia's upper district, along with some imported fruits from Tenebrae. He could smell the seasonings Ignis doused the meat in, and he felt his stomach rumble at the prospects of having a decent meal instead of instant noodles which had become an addiction so bad it would put Gladio to shame.

There was a lot that went through his mind. Assignments long past due, people at school still treating him different because he was royalty, and of course there was a fine helping of guilt as he continued to observe Ignis.

"Can I ask you something?" Noctis near grumbled under his breath as he raised his head from the countertop.

"If it's cheating on your writing assignment, the answer remains a solid no." Ignis said as a matter of fact as he closed the fridge door.

"You're no fun," Noctis playfully mocked. He sighed and propped his chin under his arm. "Why did you call me that earlier?"

"Hm?"

"The love thing."

Ignis shrugged. "I called you love as a term of endearment like I do for everyone else back at the palace."

"No," Noctis shook his head. "You didn't just call me 'love', you said 'my love'. That makes a huge difference."

Ignis didn't reply and kept going through the motions to get dinner ready. Noctis glared all the while, feeling a strange tension start in his throat and working its way down to his stomach. He didn't like it when people weren't direct with him. He especially hated it when his father, the great king himself performed such tactics to avoid a serious conversation he was in no mood to entertain.

Right at the precipice before Noctis was about to explode, did Ignis clear his throat as he began to sauté the meat.

"Let me put it this way," Ignis began. "We've known each other for quite some time, and the simple term of 'love' doesn't quite extend the warmth I want to convey."

"Warmth?" Noctis muttered.

"Correct," Ignis gave a nod and turned the heat down on the meat. "You're not simply my master and I your servant in the same vein as you're not my son and I am not your secondary parent. We're beyond these two points as far as I'm concerned. In addition, by no means are we friends."

"So what does that make us then?" Noctis felt himself getting more confused by the second. He closed his eyes for a short moment only to flinch and open them back up as Ignis gently placed down dinner in front of him.

"I'd like to think of us as brothers, and in my family, we affectionately referred to one another as 'my love' in that case."

Noctis looked between the meal and Ignis, unsure of what to say as he could feel the weight of Ignis's words. He was happy the silence didn't linger too long as Ignis spoke again.

"If it offends his majesty, perhaps I can--"

"No," Noctis interrupted. He shook his head and leaned up further in his seat. "It doesn't offend me, I just--"

He really didn't know what to say, and made a fist when he thought back to his earlier outburst. Ignis didn't deserve the flighty tantrum of a brooding teenager, yet Noctis knew he gave him a taste and then some. However, unlike his father, Ignis stuck around even amidst the chaos.

Ignis wasn't his father. He wasn't Regis.

When Noctis really thought it through, he realized neither man deserved the cold shoulder he had been freely giving to them both.

His eyes began to brim with tears.

"Noct?"

"I don't deserve that." Noctis admitted bitterly. "It's something special, and I'm not--"

"Oh Noct," Ignis sighed. He shook his head and approached Noctis and gave him a pat on the shoulder before he was soon embraced with a warm hug. He smiled as Noctis finally released the sadness that had been building up within himself, and comforted him while he cried.

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