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brees-aria · 2 years ago

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How To Build the Woman You Want to Be - 2

Please go through the first part before doing this. It’s imperative that you understand the basics.

Step Five:

We will use Pinterest to visualise your new life so that you can attain it faster. Create a new board “My Story” and start sourcing the following:

* 3 pictures of your ideal hair

* 3 pictures of your ideal body

* 5 pictures of ideal physical accessories (bags, shoes, nails, jewellery, sunglasses… whatever resonates with you)

* 5 ideal outfits you want to own (casual, underwear, red carpet, brunch, pyjamas)

* 3 ideal hobby pictures (ballet? Horses riding? Reading?

* 5 ideal life pictures (meditating, working out, attending events, getting make up/hair professionally done…. Your ideal lifestyle!)

* 5 free time pictures (how you and your friends would hang out; how you and your S/O would hang out; family, pets…)

* 7 ideal home pictures (what’s your aesthetic - minimal/ Woodsy, what would the bathrooms look like, house or apartment…)

* 3 work life pictures (if you want to work - where would you work, what position, etc)

* 5 pictures of your ideal partner (how they would look, where they would work, dress, etc)

* 3 pictures of how you would relax alone (go for a walk with your pet? Massages? Read alone? You get the gist)

* 7 pictures of your ideal vacation

* 4 pictures of your ideal meals (breakfast, lunch, snacks, dinner)

This is your visual diary. Whenever you feel down, not motivated, lazy, go through this board. This board visualises the best version of you. This is your best self (not was, or will be - this is your best self).

If you can print everything out and stick it on your wall - even better. Nothing like seeing exactly who you’re going to be everyday and claiming it!

Step 6:

It’s analysis time. This is probably going to be the most time-consuming part of the work that you have, but also the the first actual building block towards your Ideal Woman.

- Take a look at your New Story.

- As you read it, make a note (maybe write it on a piece of paper) of all the qualities that you see. Written them as keywords as bullet points. Qualities include all things belonging to your ideal personality (respected, kind, decisive…) and ideal skill set (strategic, creative….).

Ex:

• respected

• kind

• strategic

- Then read the story again and start making a separate note (with bullet points and keywords) about your material life (body type, healthy lifestyle, being clean, attending events, brunches, travelling, your hobbies…)

Ex:

• Toned body

• Clean space

• Reading

- Now read your two lists again. Put a tick mark next to the ones you think are realistic but attainable in at least 3 months. Put a heart next to the ones you feel will take more time and levelling up.

Ex:

Qualities:

• respected ❤️

• kind ✔️

• strategic✔️

Material:

• toned body ✔️

• clean space ❤️

• reading ✔️

• attending events ✔️

- The tick marked list is the list you will start working on immediately. Choose any 2 qualities and 3 material life from the tick marked list. We won’t work on all of them at once because you need to build that habit.

Ex:

• Kind

• Strategic

• Toned body

• Reading

• attending events

- For the next 3 months, you will actively work on your 5 to-dos. With your material life - let’s say for example, a certain body type - start working out from tomorrow itself. I don’t care whether it’s YouTube workouts or gym, you’re going to work on that first step. Or if it’s things like attending events - start by attending events and conferences in your industry or what interests you. Look up online for events happening in your city and go for at least one a month. Everything begins with baby steps.

- With your qualities, let’s say you want to be a good conversationalist. Start researching on the tactics of being a good conversationalist. Also search the opposite - how to recognise a bad conversationalist. Read articles, books, journals and scholarly articles. Practice on strangers when you go grocery shopping or at work. You need to put in the work.

- Not only will you work on your 5 to-dos, but you will set monthly goals for them. You will note down everything - in a journal or your notes app or maybe by taking pictures, however you feel comfortable- you need to quantify your progress.

Ex:

This Month’s Goals:

• Kind - tell my friends that I love them and that they deserve all the love

• Strategic - play brain games like chess to improve myself - play at least 2 times a week online

• toned body- work out for 20 days this month

• attending events - go to 2 conferences this month that are happening in my city or online

• Reading - finish one book this month.

- Every month you will check yourself. Only when you’ve accomplished at least 85% of the tasks will you add a new item from the tick marked list or remove an existing item that you finished.

- Every three months you need to go back to the New Story and your Pinterest board with greater detail. How close are you to your goal? If you think you’ve achieved something, give yourself a pat on the back!

The last and final part of this series will be uploaded after two days.

Part 3

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brees-aria · 2 years ago

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Watch Lady Chatterley's Lover (2022) and then Read...

I absolutely loved Lady Chatterley's Lover (2022). I think it was a triumph of the female gaze, Emma Corrin being the Period Piece Pinch Hitter we all need in a post-Keira world, and fucking in the woods.

To be clear, the book is not a romance. It does not end unhappily (more like "to be continued", without any intention of a continuation and clarification) but it's not a romance. The movie, I would argue... is pretty close to being a romance, or just a romance outright. Joely Richardson looks at the camera and goes "this is a love story", and by God, who am I to question Joely Richardson (who also was Lady Chatterley once). It hits many of the classic notes of a historical romance novel--hardcore fucking and immediately having an existential crisis after, "my god, how could this constant unprotected sex I'm having result in a PREGNANCY???", a douchey rich guy who wants to publish his stupid novella.

After watching it, I wanted to go through my rolodex of books and throw up some recommendations for what to read after watching this movie and getting a bit. Interested.

I tried to focus on a) interclass dynamics or b) illicit affairs. Ideally both, but it's more about the vibe than the readalike nature.

The Leopard Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt. In many ways, a Lady Chatterley vibe without the annoying husband and *with* a murder mystery. Our heroine is a wealthy heiress who travels to an estate she recently inherited on her own, employing an experience steward to help her with the business side of things. And with the business side of things. Elizabeth Hoyt writes some of the best sex in the game, and there's a lot of great class conflict in this one.

Waking Up with the Duke by Lorraine Heath. A Lady Chatterley setup but with less class conflict and more *secrets*. The Duke of Ainsley, genteel and well-mannered, still feels real bad for that time he got into a carriage accident with his best friend, which resulted in said friend's permanent impotency. Friend asks Ainsley to pay him back by fucking his wife, Jayne, in order to ensure that she has the baby she's always wanted. Jayne is like "say what now", because she does in fact hold the accident against Ainsley, and Ainsley is all "I COULD NEVER--but if you're like... insisting..." because of course, he has always carried a torch for Jayne. A month of hot, angsty, "don't kiss me on the mouth" cottage sex ensues, and the emotional fallout for these idiots is MAGNIFICENT.

The Countess by Sophie Jordan. Not out yet, but put this one on your TBR because there is certainly a married lady discovering her sexuality in the arms of another man (wealthy, but of a different social class) around these parts. Out 3/28/23.

In Bed with the Devil by Lorraine Heath. For the "this coarse man is lighting my ladylike fires" vibe. Our heroine is a recently widowed duchess with a young son, who comes to find out that--what the fuck--her husband left the guardianship of their child to a man she doesn't even fucking know. The hero grew up on the streets and has risen to become a successful club owner, but is still very much lower class. They move in together, and incredible sexual tension and heightened emotions ensue. TW: discussion of childhood sexual abuse.

Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas. This might seem a bit left field at first, but I shall recommend it because a) there is a huge emphasis on class in this novel. Sara is not necessarily a hugely upper class lady, but she is a genteel lady, and Derek Craven's awareness of their social differences and his roughness against her softness is a huge part of their conflict in the first half of the book. B) sexual awakening is very emphasized in Sara's journey. C) Sara does have a boring fucking fiance who's like "Sara, it's okay if we aren't that into each other sexually" while Sara, having just gotten her titties sucked at a party, is like "UHHHHHH NO THAT IS NOT OKAY". D) Much like Oliver Mellors, Derek Craven suffers from "is very smart but sometimes we don't know what he's saying" syndrome.

Duchess by Day, Mistress by Night by Stacy Reid. Our heroine is another widowed duchess with a young son--but this time, she's on the hunt for the governess that ditched in a flash. She hires the coarse, lower class but nonetheless successful fixer in town to help her... And his price ends up being a bit more carnal than monetary. VERY illicit affairs dot mp3.

Notorious Pleasures by Elizabeth Hoyt. No class difference here, but we do have a lot of illicit sneaking around when our heroine begins sleeping with her betrothed's roguish brother--who might just fuck the rigid rule following sensibility right out of her.

Her Night with the Duke by Diana Quincy. A widow has a one night stand with a handsome stranger, only to discover that he's courting her stepdaughter. It's messy, it's angsty, it's hot, and I do believe there are some outdoor activities.

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brees-aria · 3 years ago

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