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lighthouse-enjoyers-anonymous · 2 years ago

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The CSH pipeline (aka my downfall)(aka my favorite band ever)

Last year around June, I listened to Car Seat Headrest for the first time, I think starting with Sober to Death. I had seen mention of the band before in memes about it being "incel" "male manipulator" music, but it was associated with a lot of bands I already had an interest in. My first instinct when seeing that something is being shit on is to go and consume the media so I can judge for myself whether it's actually that bad or if the fanbase is just being characterized by a couple shitty fans and if it's being meme-ified like Weezer. This has lead me down some questionable paths but I ultimately like this way of consuming media because I do end up finding new stuff I enjoy without being restricted to what's popular. I started listening to Mitski because I saw a tumblr post about how people don't like her work. Idk. Anyways I loved Sober to Death and started listening to their other top songs to get a feel for it. I think I mainly just listened to Twin Fantasy and Teens of Denial at first, then ToS and MBIKMB after a while. I wasn't hardcore into it and I knew barely anything about the band except I had picked up somewhere that Will was a furry (I have zero idea when I learned this but at the time I thought it was the most hilarious thing I've ever heard). I was just focused on my other interests much more (you know how it is). Fun fact, my ex included "It's Only Sex" on our relationship playlist when we dated in March, which

1- is an absolutely insane red flag 2- proves I knew about the band earlier than I remember Flash forward to February. I must have seen CSH mentioned a lot more on tiktok or pinterest or something, because I suddenly had a lot of interest in it. Sometimes I get waves of "oh god i'm a fake fan for not knowing everything about this subject" and that spurs some manic search to CONSUME ALL. I started listening to every album available on spotify, learned about Will's pre-CSH projects, and was instantly hooked.

This guy had written songs that spoke to me in a way only several other artists had in the past. On top of that, he had lived less than an hour away from me for the majority of my life (until he relocated to Seattle in 2014), AND most of his music was written at the age I am now. There was something so personal to me about it. Obviously, it was a popular-ish band so it wasn't really underground or anything, but it wasn't known by everyone so I still had the opportunity to introduce it to my friends for the first time. That being said, I still got teased a bit for listening to "sad gay furry music" :/ Touché.

Anyways, I then learned about 1 Trait Danger. Oh boy. I had heard the "Timmis" sound going around on tiktok without realizing it. God Andrew Katz is amazing too. It was silly, it was stupid, it had a new plotline to follow for each album, there was a discord server, there were costumes, there was Will Toledo, there was SO MUCH TO LEARN. So naturally I joined the Patreon so now I get some sick behind the scenes video game development content.

Deeper into the rabbithole comes Cate Wurtz's comics, which are mentioned in several CSH songs, and generally help to contextualize Will's work. Holy Shit I love Crow Cillers. I only started reading it yesterday. I have yet to fully understand what's going on because there is such a mash up of themes. It's entirely possible I made a mistake and managed to skip some crucial lore, but I'll figure it out eventually. Ynce Iche is badass. Other things that this hyperfixation has caused me to get into:

Radiohead and Weezer. more stereotypical incel music but I D K

Costume design? I'm in the process of building a trait mask, and I will make another post about this because I need help!!

animation, possibly. I'm hoping to animate parts, if not all, of 1 Trait Bangers. I have no prior experience with animating so this will be.... fun...

video production. I am ALSO in the process of creating a series of tiktok style videos to all of twin fantasy. if each one is about a minute, I should have... 71 videos. 1 down, 70 to go! This is cool because I got to visit the spot in Harper's Ferry mentioned in BL-I-D.

CSH livestreams. I looove the acoustic sound. Do miss the other band members though. Lots of his covers have lead me to find new music as well.

Will Toledo's tumblr. I scrolled all the way to the bottom of it and i'm attempting to compile a playlist of every song he mentions on there.

Will Toledo's spotify monthly playlists. That funky guy is listening to soooo much welsh folk. This raises questions about what the possible new album will sound like, but I'm down for anything!

Andrew Katz's instagram reels. I love these funky little videos it's like a vine revival with all of our favorite band members.

Will Toledo's high school bands/comics. The Mr. Yay Okay facebook page is so blessed I love seeing shitty home video recordings of them playing with a Ouija board.

New friends! Shout out to the cool people on the 1td discord server. game nights are always hilarious

Pop culture references. I have been convinced to buy several books simply bc they were mentioned in a song or his tumblr. also I started NGE and I will eventually get to Twin Peaks.

That's all for now! I should be able to update as I find more stuff to deep dive into, and as my creative projects unfold. It's going to be a busy couple of months in my house though, as I prepare for college. If I end up switching hyperfixations before I complete anything, I must apologize. But I don't owe "you" anything. I say to my singular follower, cheezbot. Hi cheezbot.

#car seat headrest #cshr #csh #will toledo #infodump #1 trait danger

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halleyuhm · 1 year ago

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~WTW Ghost Gala: Days 1 to 8~

I just found the event and I'm several days back, so I'll try to be brief. I'll be using my WIP The trees don't let you see the forest because I think it's the one I'd like to try for NaNoWriMo and the aesthetics fit with the season.

It tells the story of a young witch cursed with blindness due to a failed spell and her journey to find the way to reverse it, aided by friends, fought by foes, and realizing the might be more important things than getting her sight back. It will be a challenge to write using every sense but vision! I have written the synopsis here, if you are interested. Yeah, I should probably do an official WIP intro.

So there we go, under the cut.

(Divider by @cafekitsune, go check her work out!)

🎃 Pumpkin Carving - You have to kill off a character: Who do you choose?

Right now, without having planned much, I choose Mauve. She's the secret keeper and sooner or later the past catches up with everyone.

🦅Raven - Create a tagline for your WIP

"Things we lose aren't lost: they remain with us, albeit in different shapes".

🔮Crystal Ball - Outline a scene, act or your entire WIP.

Let's just try the first scene so we can compare what I plan with what will later come up:

1. Juniper wakes up and sees nothing. Elowyn is there tending to her wounds. Crying, stress, oops she messed up so bad, she can't be a Sun Sage anymore. But she deserves it, and Mauve, her mentor, lets her know. Periwinkle, the cat, is silently judging June so hard she can feel it.

2. Laurel comes in, distraught because he played a part in the situation (unknowingly??). Maybe he argues with Elowyn and Mauve because of inner guilt + they accuse him. But June crashes against something and they focus on stopping her from falling head-first into a boiling pot.

3. Same scene or after some struggles?? Mauve (or Periwinkle, why not) mentions the Wildfire Hollyhock, the burnt lands, and the town there, but doesn't tell what happened in those cursed places.

4. June wants to go, Laurel joins, and Elowyn is told by Mauve to go with them because she is the BEST. There are obvious reactions. Witchy stuff.

5. I'm bad at this.

🍂Fallen Leaves - Create a playlist for your WIP

Work in progress but here it goes.

🎇Jack o' lantern -Share an interesting fact you found while doing research for your WIP

There is a flower that only blooms after wildfires. The seeds lay dormant under the surface until the soil is burnt and then they sprout. They don't last long, just enough for bees to pollinate them and drop seeds which will stay dormant until they are awakened.

You can read an article here, for example.

🧄Vampire - Tell us where you find inspiration or motivation.

This is what I struggle with the most (along with planning).

Inspiration comes in dreams, random shower thoughts, a single word in an extensive paragraph, Pinterest aesthetics, little things I see in my daily life, name generators (that I never end up picking), and simple things. Like, "Oh, this would be fun to write about."

Motivation uh, comes when my brain hyperfixates on an idea. And reading. Reading lots.

💀Skeleton - Have a favorite plot structure? If not, share how you plot.

I have no idea how I plot. Usually, I start writing and let the story take me where it needs to go (yeah, there's lots of editing later). I get ideas on the go, maybe a whole scene, and I add it to my evergrowing list of ideas waiting for the auspicious moment when it comes into play. Somehow, I managed to be very cohesive, though. And I surprise myself with how everything seems to flow as if I had previously planned it.

🍬Trick or Treat - Set some writing goals and milestones for your WIP.

This crashes a bit with the last answer, but I really really want to be more disciplined and focused. I just want to manage to plot the story and get to the NaNoWriMo final milestone. Let's do it!!

If you've come this far, thank you! You are my hero 💜

#WTWEVENT #WTWCOMMUNITY #wtwevent #wtwcommunity #am writing #preptober #nanowrimo #writeblr #writblr #WIP: June #ghost gala

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 4 years ago

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Want You Bad ~ S.S. (part 3)

A/n: I made a playlist to try and get myself to write less and still managed to write a part three in the same day as part one and two. So. Screw my mind and it’s hyperfixated state! Side note: the mashup I mentioned is based off of this (which is also on the playlist above!)

Word Count: 3900+

Warnings: literally call myself out for doing enemies to lovers. Good luck with that. Actually just gays being gays in this, no drama. I decided it was time for reader to fall in love with Sebastian because Valentine’s Day and also the SHIT about to hit the fan is so much more fun with reader being in love with Seb haha <3

MASTERLIST

Sebastian tried a few times to make Y/n change his mind and get them back into their fiery, flirty groove, but it was plenty over. Y/n gave him a solid cold shoulder and eventually Sebastian seemed to lose interest. Everyone did seem surprised when Y/n didn’t transfer back, or leave the Warblers, but it did offer a lot of opportunities for the other Warblers to become better friends with Y/n now that he seemed to be serious about the group, even through shady stuff like slushies with an unappreciated little kick.

Ethan and Y/n began to get closer. For the first time in years, Y/n finally felt like he actually had a best friend and it was kind of nice. Every time Y/n was having a hard time, he went to Ethan, and vice versa. Suddenly his high school experience was skyrocketing, and even if he and Sebastian weren’t talking, they still functioned just fine to be in the Warblers together. Everything was working out just fine.

In fact, after the show off with Santata, when New Directions encouraged them to drop by the school for something important, it was easy to convince the others to go with just a little pushing from Y/n. Sebastian rolled his eyes, but most of the others were for it and team captain or not, Sebastian couldn’t stop them from going. So they went, with a few jabs about Sebastian maybe being a coward and that’s why he didn’t want to show up blah blah blah.

It was nice to see everyone perform again, and when Ethan of all people jumped up to join them and they let him, Y/n was only too eager to be number two. Then the tape came out, and the rock salt, and Y/n felt his resolve harden about giving up on Sebastian.

Sebastian, however, seemed to not like that he had almost completely lost the way he could affect Y/n, and had suddenly decided that he cared again.

Things hit a high when February started and Valentine’s Day began to crawl closer and closer. Sebastian kicked everything off by showing up to their first class of the day together and sitting right by Y/n. “Hey there Sweetheart, missed me?”

“Like I miss having chickenpox when I was eight,” Y/n sassed immediately.

For some reason that only made Sebastian smile wider. “Cute. You free Valentine’s Day?”

“Not for you, not even in your dreams.” At Y/n’s response Sebastian moved closer and Y/n immediately scooted his entire seat further away. “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull Sebastian, but I’m not going to let it fly. You hurt Blaine. You planned something like that against my friends behind my back, with everyone in the Warblers except me.”

Sebastian scoffed. “Oh come on Y/n, it was a joke. You can play enemies now, but I saw the way you looked at me when we sang together for the first time. I know that it’s going to change the way you listen to ‘Cooler Than You’ forever and-”

“Did it change the way you listen to that song?” The question stopped Sebastian dead in his tracks. Y/n rolled his eyes. “You’re not some sex god, Sebastian. You’re cute, I’ll give you that. You’re confident and you have power and swagger - and good for you, honestly. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. You can have as pretty of a face as you want, your insides are ugly.” Y/n gathered his stuff. “And for your information, it wasn’t a joke to me. You hurt someone I care about, and until you can swallow your goddamn pride and accept that and at least say sorry about it, then don’t even think about trying to be friends with me let alone taking any of my Valentine’s Days.” And with that he left.

It was odd, but Y/n couldn’t help but notice how many eyes were on him as he changed seats, moving as far away from Sebastian as possible. Class started before he could think too much about it so he just pushed it all out of his mind. Sebastian Smythe had taken enough of his time.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t just that class. Sebastian spent the entire beginning of February trying to woo Y/n and convince him to be Sebastian’s Valentine’s date. Nothing romantic, just a lot of flirting and being overly suggestive, but it was still weird. Especially with how it was making things awkward for everyone in the Warblers, and how more and more nasty Y/n’s replies were getting. He was starting to sound like Satana - it was getting ugly. It was weird as well that around all of that, all it seemed to do in the long run was get more and more people to notice Y/n and Sebastian’s heated interactions. People started asking to show up to rehearsals to see it there too, and people had come up asking about the next performances. Even the people who hated show choir or didn’t have any interest in anything like it were suddenly interested… and it was then that Y/n realized what was going on.

“Please for the love of every song I’ve ever and will ever sing, stop pissing me off with fake flirting just so people will pay more attention to the Warblers and we’ll have more support.” Sebastian seemed surprised, but he didn’t argue so Y/n knew he had it right. “I get it, and I want more people at school caring about what we do too. I love it… usually. But I hate this. I don’t like my feelings being messed with for attention, and I don’t want people to care about what I love only because they want to see me squirm. It’s like some form of bullying, or it feels like it is - whatever. Just, Warbler to Warbler, please stop.”

Sebastian’s smile never stopped. “You know, more popular than friends to lovers is enemies to lovers. The idea that the bad boy can be changed by love, or the people with all that tension and hate who are seconds away from either fighting or kissing - it does something to people. And you know what Y/n you can smack talk me all you want, but I know that coming here wasn’t just about being a Warbler, and I know what went on in your head that first while before the parking lot. I saw the way you looked at me even before you got brave and lowkey challenged me to a face off during rehearsal, okay? I KNOW you’re into me, and neither of us have a date for the fourteenth, so why not? Why not just for once give into that carnal desire. It’ll only take a night and then… however long after that you want it to take.” His lips curved into a smirk that made Y/n want to punch him.

The thing was, Y/n was too busy feeling sick to his stomach. “I’m sorry, did you think this entire time that the only reason I’m into you is because I want to have sex with you?”

“Now is that into me, currently?” Sebastian purred.

Y/n’s face dropped, and his hands curled into fists at his side. “Listen here asshole, I- I don’t sleep around like you do okay? I don’t date often, and even then I don’t have sex a lot when I DO date. No, I’m not a fucking virgin before you ask, but let me tell you that when I thought about you, only a very few of those thoughts were about how you were in bed. Only a small part of me was drawn to you because you’re incredibly hot. I wanted more than that. I saw all these really sweet things between us, and then you have systematically derailed and destroyed every single one. I don’t have a single lick of fondness for you anymore, and that’s more important to me than anything. I don’t care how great of a lay you are. I’m not that kind of person. So jot that down, and do yourself a favor - Do not forget it. Now let’s get to rehearsal, I’m sure they’re waiting for us” He turned away, running a hand through his hair.

He tried not to think about the weird change in Sebastian that had happened when Y/n had admitted that he didn’t just want sex. There had been something along the lines of shock, like he couldn’t believe someone wanted that with him. Like maybe he’d never had someone want that from him. But Y/n didn’t think about that, because that would lead him to care about Sebastian and that couldn’t happen anymore.

During rehearsal Sebastian was weird, though. Quieter. More reserved. He still seemed solid and confident and sexy, but Y/n was getting good at noticing the difference between when Sebastian was genuinely being that way, and when he was putting on an act to seem like he was. One thing was for sure: Sebastian stopped flirting to start mini fights with Y/n, and that at least was appreciated.

The day before Valentine’s Day was the next time Sebastian talked to Y/n personally and directly, rather than a general talking to everyone, or sending a message via one of the other Warblers. He had a nice, blue sweater on and some light brown slacks. He looked really good. Y/n tried not to think about that fact. “What do you want, Smythe?” For the first time in quite a while, Y/n’s words weren’t poisoned or sharp. Just tired.

Sebastian took a quiet breath in through his nose. He wasn’t smiling. He seemed relaxed, like he was trying to seem upbeat and detached but couldn’t quite pull it off today. “We were asking last minute to perform at a Valentine’s Day dance tomorrow,” Sebastian began explaining. “When something like this comes up we usually skip the school day and make the whole planning process a little faster so we’ll be properly prepared. We spend the entire day together. I was going to tell you last night when I realized I didn’t have your number, so I’m telling you now. Any classes you’re worried about?”

Y/n shook his head. “No, I’m perfectly fine. We’re heading there now I’m assuming?”

“Yes,” Sebastian confirmed. Y/n began moving before the other boy could say anything else, so Sebastian was left jogging after to catch up. Not something that was hard for him with his long legs. “Y/n, I- listen, the boys already had some ideas that they got attached to. I had to come find you and I told them to go ahead while I tracked you down. They’re kind of already planning on doing Closer. By the Chainsmokers.” Y/n stopped midstep, and Sebastian swiveled a few steps ahead, caught off guard again. It left them face to face, rather than side to side like before. Sebastian seemed almost regretful to add, “And they want us to lead.” Enunciation on ‘almost’.

For a second, Y/n just looked at Sebastian, trying to read him. “What’s the game? Hm?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “I think they’re playing matchmaker, I don’t know. After you basically confessed you want to date me or whatever a while ago they’ve been weirdly pushy for us to perform something together, and this is just the opportunity for us to realize we’re in love, right?” His tone was sarcastic, which was perfectly distracting from the words.

“As if. If I ever did have actual feelings for you past a stupid infatuative crush, I definitely don’t and I won’t ever, so-” Y/n began.

“I’ve never actually dated anyone and that isn’t changing for you okay, so I get the sentiment. As it stands, we’re not each others' biggest fans-”

“Understatement,” Y/n grumbled.

“But we’re still in this whole thing together, and I think feelings aside, we do kick ass singing together,” Sebastian continued as if Y/n’s hadn’t interrupted. “I was serious when I said you had talent and that I wanted you to use it in the Warblers. What do you say?”

In favor of not thinking too much about the compliment Sebastian had just given, Y/n settled on, “We’re not singing ‘Closer’.”

Sebastian made puppy dog eyes. “What if it’s in a mashup?”

Y/n hated with a burning passion that it made him smile. “I’m assuming you already have an idea?”

“A few,” Sebastian confirmed. He looked kind of adorable, and it was infuriating.

“Fine,” Y/n grumbled, beginning to walk again. “Stop making that face you look stupid.” He tried to let the quip land, but Sebastian cut off any chance he had to check by grabbing his arm and fully running to the Warbler room, forcing Y/n to run as well. Taken off guard, Y/n burst into laughter. By the time they slowed to a stop, Sebastian’s hold had slipped so they were holding hands, and they were both grinning, red faced, and out of breath. “What the hell, Smythe?” Y/n giggled out, completely missing the boys in front of them, or their intertwined fingers.

“Made you laugh,” Sebastian pointed out, in the same voice one would say made you look.

“You’re ridiculous,” Y/n decided. “And bipolar.”

That made Sebastian laugh. “Perhaps you just bring out the best in me.”

“What and you bring out the worst of me?” Y/n sassed, raising an eyebrow. “A fair trade.”

It was Sebastian’s turn to be sassy. “The worst? I haven’t seen you properly sing until you joined the Warblers, and I didn’t know you before Kurt and Blaine but from what I’ve heard, you haven’t stood up for yourself since, let alone doing what you want and having fun. I’ll absolutely admit that I’m a pain in the ass, but you had to admit that your life has been better since I’ve come around.”

Y/n hated himself for realizing Sebastian was right. He looked away and saw the other boys watching the exchange with wide, interested eyes. Y/n cleared his throat. He was getting real tired of being watched by a bunch of people who all fed on drama. “You said something about ideas for a mashup up?”

Unphased by the change in Y/n’s tone, or the others watching them, Sebastian smiled wider. “I have a few.”

They had practiced this song a million times in the last day. So many times that they’d barely had time to get a proper rest before they all woke up the next day and jumped right back into it again. They did go to school that day, everyone going on vocal rest so they didn’t tire themselves out and fail at the performance. When it came to time for the performance, they were all confident they’d more than pull through. Warm ups were through and the lights were going up and Y/n thought he knew exactly what to expect.

Sebastian had been very respectful of the boundaries Y/n had set. He’d made Sebastian promise he wouldn’t flirt during rehearsals. They needed to focus, to prepare. No distractions. Sebastian had eagerly agreed, and kept to it the entire time.

Y/n should have known that would change the night of the performance. Y/n had gotten no promise for being in front of an audience, and what kind of performance didn’t have a little theatre to it, bringing the songs to life? They were singing two love songs; Sebastian wouldn’t have not used it as an opportunity to flirt with Y/n if his life depended on it, and Y/n should have seen that coming. He did, in a way, but not enough. Especially when he was completely thrown off by seeing they were performing in a rather public place, in front of people other than just those at the school. A group of people who apparently included Y/n’s friends from his other school.

He was about to have a meltdown when the music started, and he had to force himself to focus. He would have time at least, since even as the notes to “Closer” picked up, Sebastian was first to sing, and his voice carried out the beginning lines of “Shape of You” by Ed Sheeran.

“The club isn’t the best place to find a lover so the bar is where I go. Me and my friends at the table doing shots, drinking fast and then we talk slow.”

Y/n cut in. “Hey, tell your friends it was nice to meet them, but I hope I never see them again.”

Sebastian came back with Ed Sheeran. “Listen I’m singing like, girl you know I want your love, your love was handmade for somebody like me. Come on now follow my lead - I may be crazy, don’t mind me.” As he sang, passing Y/n, his eyes focused on the boy, his words directed at him. It shouldn’t have, but seeing Sebastian look at him and call him ‘girl’ hit a sour chord with Y/n. For a split second he was terrified that Sebastian somehow knew that Y/n was trans. “Say boy, let’s not talk too much. Grab on my waist and put that body on me. Come on now follow my lead, come on now follow my lead.”

Along with him, as he sang those last lines, Y/n softly followed with, “And I can’t stop. No I can’t stop.” He quieted when Sebastian continued next.

“I’m in love with the shape of you, we push and pull like a magnet do. And though my heart is falling too, I’m in love with your body.” Sebastian winked and Y/n was shocked to realize whatever part of it that was soft for the other boy, the part he thought was long gone, was still very much alive and beating. “Last night you were in my room, and now my bedsheets smell like you. Everything is coloring; something brand new. I’m in love with your body.” The chorus hit and the boys behind them vocalized with the band, but all Y/n could see was Sebastian as they danced, snaking around each other and between the other boys. Never far enough to let Y/n catch his breath.

As they harmonized, Y/n thanked everything that he remembered to come in with, “We ain’t ever getting older.”

“I’m in love with your body,” Sebastian sang.

“We ain’t ever getting older,” Y/n followed dutifully. His head swam with images of them wrapped in sheets, smiling at each other. Images of shared kisses and wandering hands. Fingers that traced skin…

“Discovering something brand new: I’m in love with your body.” Sebastian shamelessly checked Y/n out and everything else went dark. Far away and meaningless. All that mattered were those thoughts and feelings Y/n had dearly missed. What he’d kept buried now flowed out of him and it felt amazing. When the chorus stopped, they ended facing each other as Sebastian continued, “When we came we let the story begin, we’re going out on our first date. You and me at Thrifties, so go all you can eat. Fill up your bag and I’ll fill up a plate.”

Y/n turned away to continue the choreography, his head swimming as he managed, “Stay. Play that Blink-182 song that we beat to death in Tousan, okay?”

“And saying like, girl you know I want your love, your love was handmade for somebody like me. Come on now follow my lead, I may be crazy don’t mind me. Say boy, let’s not talk too much - grab on my waist and put that body on me. Come on now follow me, come on now follow my lead.”

As Sebastian did that, Y/n sang under him once again, but this time, it was, “I can’t stop. No, I can’t stop.”

Sebastian caught Y/n’s waist, breaking the choreo a moment to pull them closer several seconds too early. They were supposed to cross past each other, but now they just stood locked, eyes meeting and bodies pressed together. “I’m in love with the shape of you. We push and pull like a magnet do. And though my heart is falling too - I’m in love with your body. Last night you were in my room, and now my bedsheets smell like you. Everything is coloring; something brand new. I’m in love with your body.”

The vocalizing picked up again and Y/n remembered to sing, “We ain’t ever getting older, no!”

Vocalizing again, but this time it was Sebastian who picked up, “I’m in love with your body.”

Then it was Y/n’s turn again. “We ain’t ever getting older.”

Only for Sebastian to immediately pick up, “Everything is coloring; something brand new. I’m in love with your body.” The music softened and Sebastian finally let Y/n go and it was up to improvising to get back into the places they were supposed to be because they were late. But they pulled it off. Of course. Because they were Warblers. “Come on be my baby, come on. Come on be my baby, come on. Come on be my baby, come on. Come on be my baby, come on. Come on be my baby, come on. Come on be my baby, come on. Come on be my baby, come on. Come on be my baby, come on.”

Their voices merged again as Y/n sang, “We ain’t ever getting older,” and Sebastian continued with, “I’m in love with the shape of you. We push and pull like a magnet do, and though my heart is falling too - I’m in love with your body. Last night you were in my room, now my bedsheets smell like you. Everything coloring something new: I’m in love with your body.” The music swelled and the two songs’ chorus melted into one chorus.

It all ended with Sebastian and Y/n circling each other as Sebastian softly sang, “Come on be my baby, come on. Come on be my baby, come on. Come on be my baby, come on. Come on by my baby, come on.” And Y/n felt his stomach turn as he realized that Sebastian was pointedly talking to him.

Sebastian Smythe was asking Y/n out, and Y/n had absolutely no idea if he meant it genuinely or just for the audience’s benefit.

To ground himself, Y/n looked back at his old friends. Even Rachel’s withering glare would be appreciated right now. But they were gone. Y/n wondered when they’d left. If they’d left because of what had just happened between Sebastian and him… but of course that was why he’d done it, hadn’t he? And of course then his mind chose to remind him of Blaine, and how he had not been in the group, which meant he was still in the hospital, because he would have never left Kurt alone on Valentine’s Day without him.

The self hate that swallowed him whole was vicious, and he barely made it off the stage and out of view of the audience before he beelined it for his stuff and dipped out, heading to his car without a single word to any of the others.

Y/n half expected Sebastian to follow him.

He didn’t.

#Sebastian smythe #glee #warblers #Grant Gustin #Sebastian Smythe imagine #Sebastian Smythe x reader #Sebastian Smythe x male reader #glee imagine #glee x male reader #glee x reader #warblers imagine #warblers x reader #warblers x male reader #Grant gustin imagine #Grant gustin x reader #Grant gustin x male reader #male reader

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onlylaboum · 3 years ago

Note

To be honest, I usually don't reblog your posts BECAUSE of the passive-aggressive tone you often use. It's just kpop. I like Laboum but it won't end my life if they're not world famous. I just want to enjoy music and stages and all their content happily, not create a second job for myself as their unseen manager. It's okay if that's how you stan and have fun but it's not for me.

I'm worried you'll answer this really angrily but I saw your recent post and wanted to let you know how some people might be feeling. I'll still be following for updates and gifsets and stuff! 💜

people were (also barely) liking instead of sharing my posts also before i expressed my frustration w this stuff so idt that's the issue.

on twitter i'm much more active nowadays bc at least there there's a few more active latte, but still very few compared to even other nugu groups that have similar numbers in streams.

i never said i liked spending so much time on LABOUM. i am aware i have an internet addiction and have been hyperfixating on the group to avoid stressing out about worse things in my daily life.

not just me but also other latte i talk to on twitter and tiktok are really fucking burned out from how much we try to do. i don't think being a stan should be a day job. i sure would love if people shared shit we post though instead of keep scrolling or give a like once a month, which does virtually nothing. we wouldn't have to stress out so much if people actually engaged with things we did. we try to encourage ppl to use apps to win youtube ads for Laboum (which worked but slowly, it's how we made Kiss Kiss finally reach 1 million views), we ask people to give feedback, to maybe watch a video or play a streaming playlist, or partake in a game, or to buy an album or share an MV with friends.

the way that a lot of people don't do that sht, the way that in MONTHS no new people have followed their twitter or youtube, the way that barely anyone talks about them online, does in fact signify that people don't care about Laboum. not everyone needs to be an active social media user or anything ofc, but this degree of lack of attention? unless when it's about a disbandment prediction, joking about the girls' horrible experiences at their expense, or fake interest in the group only on certain conditions, shit doesn't get attention.

the girls had viral tiktok videos a bunch of times, but the majority of the people watching have no fucking clue who they are or that they aren't just actors, and it's just me and 1 other Latte trying to respond to tired comments calling the members by names of characters they played, or "ZN" which is Jinyea's old stage name. if ONLY there were a few more Latte who would leave a comment or two for once as well, the few of us wouldn't have to deal with trying to inform the general public abt Laboum.

people not sharing shit abt LABOUM is one of the main reasons why so may ppl now think they disbanded, and why you see a bunch of kpop fans who claim they're a fan of LABOUM but have been out of the loop w them for 3-6 years. it doesn't help that their domestic fanbase consists of mainly loser incels who don't dare to fucking talk about the group unless when being petty about Yulhee or creepy about their bodies.

and i know tumblr kpop fans LOVE only looking at stupid fucking gifs and not clicking on the videos they're from, acting as if streaming is a fucking punishment from hell instead of just playing a fucking song or playlist you like in the background, and acting as if it's a shocker when groups aren't doing well when so fucking few people who pretend to be a fan actually listen to music or read or watch anything new or buy music. considering your purple heart use, you should KNOW how supporting musicians works. as much as i hate the competitiveness and commodity in the music industry, likes alone never helped artists.

so yeah i'm passive-aggressive bc im trying to fucking encourage people to do something more than say they like Laboum but never dare to mention their name nor recommend a song nor share anything about them. i wouldnt be so fucking frustrated if i saw some more hype aside from from clickbait content and gg stans who just namedrop them for edgy crappy jokes.

Laboum don't need to be world famous and i don't think they will be per se, but they are really unknown. unless people do something more than just quietly listen to them once every blue moon and don't engage in anything Latte are asking or encouraging people to do, they will remain as extremely unknown as right now and disband when their contracts end in summer 2023.

other Latte are feeling the same frustrations as i do and feel exhausted. anyone who knows Laboum's story and the international, knows how small it is and how frustrated we are. this shouldn't be a surprise if you've talked to any Latte. i am familiar with how reserved fans are in this fandom. when trying to set up projects before for their anniversaries, it ended with me and only 1 other Latte in a skype call, no communication from the rest, and them not daring to partake any projects or plans anymore. that felt really disappointing.

so no, i don't find fun in being so stressed and active in trying to promote LABOUM to such an extent bc me and a few others are trying to do work for multiple ppl and for free at that. but all we ask is basic stuff like 'please also share posts' or 'hey check out and share this new song cover'. it's already ridicilous i have to ask ppl to share posts bc they refuse to, whether i ask or not.

if that's too much work, are people really interested in the group???? the thing is also that if other people, at least a few more, do a little more than nothing, it would actually make more people discover the group on their own socials, become fans, and partake in fandom. we wouldn't be so burned out if there were more than like 5-20 accounts trying to do so much bc no one else will. e.g. we emailed the company to demand translators and it hired one, but then barely anyone watched LABOUM's newer youtube videos and so that was kind of abandoned too. no views or attention = a sign that people aren't interested = no new content. that's how it works.

#i can be as passive aggressive as i want when i see LABOUM being shit-talked for over 5 years #and mismanaged poorly and waste time on this garbage website to make posts that no one bothers showing to their followers #like if this doesnt reach new fans then what am i doing it for?#2 or 3 people who sort of like their songs and some gifs but no content and are too embarrassed to share laboum stuff?#you can continue to not share posts as you want just like people didnt BEFORE i ever complained abt it #you can also unfollow idk #i need sleep and im annoyed w how many fcking words it took me to write this. its prob very repetitive #im not good at making gifs and it's a hassle so thanks i guess but i dont want to be a gif maker #asks #anon

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hangekitty · 4 years ago

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Birthday Special Headcanons

Birthday headcanons for @velvetheichou as it’s her birthday today!! So some of these may seem a little specific, but I did write it as an x reader for everyone else to enjoy!

Summary: it’s your birthday, your BF is Miche and you live with Levi and Erwin.

Genre: mostly fluff, mentions of smut

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, a couple NSFW headcanons, 18+

Universe: modern universe

A/N: this is only a short little thing for my IRL friend, I wrote this whilst getting ready for work so is it rushed? Yes I’m sorry, was this fun? Absolutely. Happy Birthday Amie 🌸🌙👑

Setting the scene: you live with Miche (your BF), Levi and Erwin (who are a couple) in a shared house. It’s your birthday and you have some surprises ahead of you...

- let’s start off with the main G, your doting BF waking you up with breakfast in bed. He would lay out a large spread filled with all your favourite things.

- Let’s face it, birthday sex would be a thing, but not till later because Levi and Erwin are waiting downstairs for you.

- Doesn’t stop Miche from being a little filthy with you (if you wanted it 👀)

- if the two of you did do the nasty, he would most certainly eat you out, 100% like it’s basically canon than he is great at head; you can’t convince me otherwise.

- Okay but like Miche would want to give you your birthday presents privately, guarantee he has bought you a dress or clothes that you’ve been wanting (and unable to afford). Miche would usually treat you to clothes any time of the year, but he’d make sure to get something extra special for your birthday.

- Miche has also bought you some pamper stuff (particularly Lush because Nanaba works there and gets discounts; means more products amirite)

- So after you shower and do your makeup, you put on your birthday gift (let’s say a dress), you go downstairs and Miche, Levi and Erwin are waiting for you, ready with party poppers. Levi and Erwin pop theirs, but Miche is way too in awe that he misses his queue

- Also can we appreciate the image of Levi popping a party popper, like he isn’t enthusiastic (he feels it, but he doesn’t show it)

- Levi would get you something that is specific to you, if you have a certain interest (or hyperfixation if we’re being honest) he would get you merch. Autographed picture from Lady Gaga? Band t-shirt? He’s got you that.

- Erwin, probably needed help the most from Levi and Miche to know what to get you. He would originally buy you something generic like a book, or a box set from a TV show you’ve never seen. So after talking the others, Erwin would go out his way to buy concert tickets. Let’s say,,,Download? Miche would get his own ticket ofc

- So basicaly the boys arrange a birthday party for you, during the day you get up to whatever you want; shopping trip? Miche will treat you to whatever you want. Trip to the cinema? You pick the movie, and as much as you insist on paying for your own ticket and/or food Miche will pay. This mans goal is to give you the best day.

- In the late afternoon, you go to your favourite restaurant, ordering whatever you like. Depending on how expensive the day is, you will probably pay towards the bill (mainly out of guilt, you wouldn’t want to make Miche broke)

- It’s romantic, candlelit and seated by the window; you watch the sunset as you eat the best damn thing in your life.

- At the party; so all of your friends are invited, even friends of Erwin and Levi; let’s just say it’s crowded to say the least.

- The playlist fucking slaps, not only is a mixture of your playlist and everyone’s requests, you have the special addition of anime music to which Erwin is like huh?? And Levi is like 🙄 but it’s your party and you can totally play Judgement from the DMCB soundtrack if you want to

- Miche brings out a cake with candles (as many candles as your age) for you to blow out, all of the party guests sing to you and cheer as you blow out the candles.

- Hange probably already started drinking, so you can hear them louder than anyone else.

- The cake is delicious of course, but the fact that there are so many paper plates around, it puts Levi on edge and he will most definitely be doing the tidying up.

- Alcohol, lots of it

- Of course as soon as a bit of Alcohol reaches Miche’s lips he is outside smoking a cig

- Nile is out there with him, but he’s a bit of a chain smoker anyway

- The look on Levi’s face when Erwin tries a cig, he definitely struggles and coughs every time

- “No, Erwin you cannot request Piano Man by Billy Joel”

- “No, Erwin, Country Roads it off limits too - at least until we get more pissed then MAYBE”

- Levi doesn’t get drunk, he is the baby sitter after all, but will probs have a glass of wine to last him the night

- Erwin doesn’t get too drunk either, but he is definitely the one with the champagne

- Miche gets tipsy but not,,,terrible lmao

- Hange however, whew goes fucking feral. If they aren’t dancing and doing slut drops, they are hornee and will attempt to drunkenly seduce Moblit who is FAR TOO DRUNK for any of that.

- There will definitely be some party games like the ring of fire, drunk charades and an ATTEMPT at musical chairs, but at this point, most guests are too far gone for that; again, putting Levi on edge and making sure no one hurts themselves.

- The night ends with Hange and Moblit staying in the guest bedroom because they drank the most, Levi and Erwin going to bed mostly sober so Levi can perform his nightly routine; I can totally see him having a whole pamper sesh before he gets into bed.

- You go to bed, the room slightly spinning and you can feel your whole body in waves; this hangover is going to be too much. Luckily superhero Miche is there with the water and some toast/bread. “Eat this before you sleep, you’ll be grateful in the morning”

- The last few moments of consciousness is spent cuddling into Miche’s chest. “Happy Birthday my sweet”

#miche zacharias #mike zacharias #aot hange #attack on titan #erwin smith #Levi Ackerman #aot headcanons #personal

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thatmomentwhen345 · 4 years ago

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Ok ummmmmmmmmmmmmm

These last two weeks have been very emotionally exhausting because of finals and what I’m about to tell you and I don’t really know how to sum it up so I guess you’re getting the same treatment as my Facebook (this is copied directly from the post on there and was posted on December 12th for context)

(This is the beginning of the Facebook post)

You guys, I don’t know what to do.

You might have gathered from my last few posts, but I’m not okay. And it will sound like such a stupid reason to the majority of you. But I made an irreversible mistake back in 2019 that has been haunting me for the past week. This is the first time that I can remember regretting a decision this much. Was it my stubbornness, my closed-mindedness? Was it my see-it-to-believe-it tendencies? Was it my inability to learn from my mistakes?

For those who don’t know, on November 13th of this year, the YouTube channel Unus Annus was deleted from the platform forever. After one year of daily videos by Markiplier and CrankGameplays, it was all gone. The point of the channel was to remind us to use our time that we have alive wisely, because Memento Mori. Remember that you must die.

The channel started on November 15th of 2019, and, well, I don’t know anything about their beginnings. I just saw their introduction video in my recommended or on trending or something and thought, “Is that Markiplier? Shouldn’t he be focusing on his own channel? Who’s this other guy?” and moved on without a second thought. I occasionally saw their videos in the trending tab but ignored them. I didn’t even know they had such a big following. I thought it looked stupid and didn’t think about it until, well, the end.

A few weeks ago, my brother was watching the final livestream that would mark the day that the channel was deleted for good. I was in the room with the livestream on the TV, watching their final hours tick by, still not thinking about the channel at all. Just like, oh hey that thing that people were talking about, wasn’t it like, a cult? I didn’t think about it at all until... the fifth of December? Was it really only a week ago? That feels like a lifetime away now...

The YouTuber FootofaFerret released a video called “Pretending Unus Annus Isn’t Over” and I saw it in my reccomended. https://youtu.be/8SMpCbI9U00 I was like, hey, yeah, I remember that thing that ended. I trusted Foafy’s judgement because of his previous videos about saying goodbye to Steven Universe. So I watched it and don’t really remember how it made me feel. I just remember him saying that the Unus Annus fandom was in mourning and I was like “aw poor guys I’ve seen on TikTok some people are sad about it”. Foafy also suggested that people who were wanting more of the Unus Annus vibe to watch Mark’s Markiplier Makes playlist. I watched some of them and, again, moved on.

The timeline is fuzzy from here on. I’m still processing it, honestly. I think I might have looked up the Unus Annus theme (Turncoat by Michael Rothery) first? Then I think I found some compilations or clips from their videos and was like wow this stuff is funny. And then I realized that there are archived versions of all of their videos (that’s against the rules of Unus Annus for those who don’t know) and... don’t hate me... went looking for them. I watched two in full. I won’t say which two but just know that the second one I specifically searched out because I knew that they did a lot of random stuff on there and that there was a chance that they would do it too. And they did! It was a funny video. I realized how much of a fun dynamic that Ethan and Mark had and looked for more compilations. The more I watched, the more I realized that I had made a terrible mistake in 2019.

I had missed out on so much. And I couldn’t take it back without breaking the rules. The concept of Unus Annus intrigued me so much, all of the people involved on the channel worked so well together, they were all so funny, but now I could never experience it in full because I was stubborn and, well, thinking about other things this year. I could have jumped in at any point between then and November 13th of this year but I chose not to.

Monday was a rollercoaster. 1st stage: denial. I was like well this doesn’t matter, I’m not even in the UA fandom, it’s gone and I don’t care. But it wasn’t that simple of course. I kept watching the Markiplier Makes videos and the UA compilations and became particularly interested in Ethan. He seemed very genuine and sensitive and his on-camera chemistry with Mark was really entertaining. 2nd stage: anger. I was furious at myself for missing out. Those two videos I watched in full were just small teasers for what the entire channel was like. I hated that I couldn’t take it back. And I hated that if I did, I would’ve broken the rules and gone against Mark and Ethan’s wishes, which I also wouldn’t be able to take back. I was horribly conflicted. 3rd stage: bargaining. I desperately went after any content surrounding Unus Annus that I could without breaking the rules, and was still considering watching the illegal archives. I haven’t watched any more of them in full, but sometimes I watch parts of them in incognito mode when it becomes too much to bear.

Tuesday was... Tuesday had to have been the longest day I’ve had the entire year. 4th stage: depression. It was slowly sinking in, the gravity of my mistake. I was starting to realize how much of a phenomenon Unus Annus was and that it was so unique and had such a cool message and that it made so many peoples’ 2020 just a little bit better, but not mine. I then did what I always do and found my comfort in music. I put on a bunch of good songs that I hadn’t heard in a while and just... sat there painstakingly doing my math homework. I couldn’t concentrate on anything the whole day. Monday, either. The song Goodbye to a World by Porter Robinson came on and I was like hey, this song perfectly suits the way I’m feeling right now. I wondered if anyone else had made connections between this song and Unus Annus and looked to see if there had been any AMVs (animated music videos) about the idea and the end of UA. Lo and behold, this popped up and I watched it! https://youtu.be/-q-oByQWdlM It hit all the right spots and I just started bawling. What had I done? Why had I missed this opportunity to improve my 2020, just a little bit? Why had I missed this opportunity to get to know Mark and Ethan better? Everyone who had watched all of their videos could feel peace after the end, like Mark and Ethan. But I couldn’t. I could only forever regret my mistake. MY mistake.

Terrible things have happened this year, but all of them have been out of my control. This, however, was my fault. And I can never take it back. And I am having a very hard time handling that.

I don't know how many times I cried on Tuesday. The next song to come on after I watched the AMV was As the World Caves In by Matt Maltese which of course broke me even further. This song also perfectly encapsulated my dilemma. Later I finished my tribute drawing of the channel logo and felt the smallest bit better. The rest of the day is a blur.

Wednesday was better, I guess? I thought I had made it to the 5th stage: acceptance. I was still very sad and mad at myself but I was starting to realize that there was nothing I could do. I subscribed to Ethan’s channel and started getting to know him better. He’s so sweet and talented ☺️

But no, acceptance is still far away. Thursday and Friday were barely better than Tuesday. I painted my nails black and white as a way of coping. I went to a livestream on Ethan’s Twitch and it was really fun! I started watching more of his streams and on one of them he mentioned that his Twitch chat mods had TikToks. So I wondered if he also had a TikTok, which he does! I looked to see if he posted one on the day UA ended. The answer was no but he did post one the day after asking if someone with the skills required could make a mashup of the song Cancer by My Chemical Romance and As the World Caves In. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJqgyrkR/ I was like wowie this guys got taste! And so I looked up if there was a mashup. As a matter of fact, there was one by Clem Turner on YouTube that came out only three days after the end of Unus Annus. https://youtu.be/a5RTVoreSAY I cannot express how much I love this, what it made me feel, and how much it hurt/helped. So I commented on Ethan’s TikTok about it and only a few hours later a new comment appeared on Clem’s video. Ethan had seen it! So I’m just gonna assume I was responsible for that... not only that but half of the comments on the mashup were about Unus Annus as you can see below. I realized how big of a following UA had and felt bad (because of course the people who had actually been with UA the whole way would be grieving a lot more than me), but also, comforted by the fact we could all connect over the loss of something important to them, if in a lot of different ways.

I’m far from getting over this. I’m far from being okay. I’ve never really felt like this before. I feel like a different person than I was last week. But I wanted to write all this down to let it out, process it a little bit, and maybe get some comfort from you guys. It’s completely understandable if you didn’t read this all the way through so...

TLDR: Memento Mori.

(This is the end of the Facebook post)

What I just described really shifted a lot of things in my head in a way I didn’t expect and in a very short amount of time. So, long story short, my Steven Universe hyperfixation ended very suddenly because of an outside factor and I probably won’t be posting a lot about it anymore. Hope you understand.

(art by me but I used the official UA logo as a reference)

#personal #long post #my art #please read if you are wondering about the change of atmosphere

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lilyhoshikawa · 4 years ago

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🎥🎶💕🏳‍🌈💎 for hunters perhaps? >:3c

Oh golly! Ok fndkfnfn let me do this then. This may be difficult-

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

This is hard bc I have a lot of scenes I like and good scenes keep happening dhdjfn.

There are a lot of stand-outs so far. Among them is definitely like, the confrontation in the car between Blake and Sakio, and the recent social link scene with Blake and Lena on the boat.

Scenes that DON’T involve my own character that I adore include. The scene with Sakio and Camellia at the graveyard. The scene with with Lena and Twitch outside the store. The Sammy’s scene where they read Tango’s letter. Also the scene with Sammy and Masumi bc it was just extremely funny.

🎶: If your hyperfixation has songs / an OST, what is your favorite song from it?

Hm. Well time once again to advertise my Blake playlist, which I’m constantly putting a lot of work and thought into tbh dhjddb, I’ve deleted a fair number of songs from it when I feel they don’t fit, and I’m constantly messing with the order of the songs in relation to Blake’s prospective characters arc, and adding more as I find them fndkfnf I’m always on the lookout.

Also, vane is constantly updating the official playlist with some real bangers, and I appreciate that. Amil’s and Twitch’s themes are real good.

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Everybody has really really good characters, heck. One thing that strikes me is that even with taking the backseat and having to be on autopilot for several sessions, Camellia still has such a strong and distinct personality, to the point where everyone is on the same page abt them, and I think that’s just really amazing dhdjfjf, that’s how strong an impression they make every time they’re around.

Lena is also so good, she’s like… I think abt her frequently. Sometimes I just start giggling when I think abt Lena, bc she is a national treasure, and I hope she knows I care abt her. She’s great in this way that she’s both very funny/cute and also has a lot of depth and nuance to her arc, and I’m so excited for more.

In the same vein, Sammy. No one character has made me go from giggling to sobbing as fast as this green goat. One moment Sammy is making their cat do a little greeting and I’m rolling on the floor from the cuteness, and then the next second they’re crying and saying they don’t want to be left behind, and then I am also crying. How do they do it. The absolute range.

I also really appreciate Ilse like, particularly in contrast to Blake sometimes, in that Ilse is very smart in a way that’s quiet, self-conscious and careful, while Blake is at times recklessly arrogant, and those two bounce off each other well. Ilse feels mature at times but every time they quietly like, try to be the bigger person, or to not make a problem of themselves, I wanna give them a hug and be like “u deserve to be recognized and acknowledged and u deserve better” dhdjdndjdn. When u have big personalities like Sakio and Lena and Blake in the party there’s something compelling abt Ilse being with them and not asserting themselves as they try to do their best, if that makes sense, and I want them to know I see and appreciate them.

Sakio is also so good and I’ve talked abt this to vane plenty before but holy shit. There’s so much obvious care and love and effort and skill that went into writing a character who is both wrong in many ways, and who many player characters antagonize for good reason, and yet still so incredibly sympathetic, so likable and so compelling. The fact that both Blake and Lena have this relationship with Sakio where they don’t like or trust her, necessarily, but also can’t deal with her not being there, is so fucking good, it creates such powerful conflict in the smallest of ways. Sakio is great bc I love her and I understand her and I appreciate her, but I also wanna yell at her and think she is absolutely horribly wrong about incredibly crucial things and u can FEEL that turmoil in her as well, with her knowing on some level that her actions are going to cause harm, and she’s just waiting and hoping to take the fall, thinking, maybe foolishly, that she can, and that doing so will save everyone else.

I also fucking love so many minor characters we haven’t seen much of so far. I absolutely love Bee and I’ve told vane abt this but she’s just a total icon. Theo is also great, he is the only valid he/him in the entire campaign djdkfj. I love Twitch as well and I’m very excited for some of the interesting stuff in Twitch’s arc that has been hinted at coming to fruition later on, that’s very exciting. I’m also very excited to learn more abt Amil’s whole deal, I appreciate them a lot and I feel bad every time I have to make Blake come pester them fndkfnf. Oh also Prim, how did I forget Prim… what’s going on with her, I have no idea, but she’s a mean lady and my love for mean ladies is well-documented. Also her look is iconic. Also also Puck, the fact that he’s a child and I didn’t know it for several months shocked me to my core but it has made his brand of Shakespearean mischief that much more endearing, and now I seek only to give him snacks and let him sit in his funny garbage throne. I forgot abt Puck earlier so I’ll say he is the second valid he/him in the campaign but frankly I think Puck should take some neopronouns for a spin, he deserves it.

🏳️‍🌈: Do you have any headcanons (LGBT, race, neuro, etc.) that are important to you?

(*throws neurological disorders at Blake*) jdkdnfkf no but jokes aside. I love that this party is like, 5 player characters, 4 of whom use they/them. Just. The raw power of a persona series written by LGBT+ ppl…

I can’t speak on other ppl’s characters too much but as for Blake, they’re a closeted transfem and also too much of a disaster for a coherent sexuality but probably bi. Autistic, and an abuse survivor who experiences paranoid delusions and self-destructive tendencies. Probably more, but specifics are messy, they’re a fucking mess, what’s going on with them, they don’t even know.

Masumi is a binary trans lesbian, also an abuse survivor and manages quite a bit of paranoia of her own, dealing with mood swings and occasional delusions of grandeur, most of it she keeps internally managed which isn’t great for her mental health.

💎: Are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

Blake’s original characterization was thought up prior to the campaign and was very different from their finished characterization. They lived on a farm with their parents and were pretty quiet and passive before being arrested for a murder they didn’t commit (this part is the same) and their personality was way more quiet, reserved and passive, with the whole celebrity aspect completely absent. They were still going to be the sort of clever leader type character but leaned far more into the background. Their design was also different, with their hair in a low ponytail rather than high and scars on their face from scrapes and accidents working on the farm.

I realized that, even though this character was more of an original idea than Masumi (who I was playing in another campaign at the time and who was characterized somewhat differently as well) I didn’t find myself excited to write them, couldn’t get invested in them in the same way, and as I kept workshopping them I decided to be more self-indulgent and lean more into shamelessly making them an Akechi expy in more ways.

And what resulted from that, ironically, is what I feel is a better character in the end. Blake feels more dynamic, lively and interesting now than the old iteration I first thought up, back when I was intent on making them My Own Creation with their own arc. At this point I’m comfortable saying that Blake, for all their similarities to Akechi, has evolved over the course of the campaign into a more interesting character, into someone I recognize as distinctly different and who stands out. They feel unique to me, and feel like my own character. And I think that only could’ve happened through playing them in a TTRPG like this, in developing them along with others, and having to adapt, and I think that’s the beautiful thing about developing characters with other people. The Blake I’ve ended up with is one I’m really happy with, who I feel is more interesting and dynamic to me than if I had just tried to force something unique just to not feel cringe about making an expy. And maybe I need to learn that lesson before I go through the same thing with Zee fjdkfnf.

#meme response #myosotis horizon #rambles #the hunters

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cecilsstorycorner · 4 years ago

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Wip Introduction ~ The Embassy of Peculiar Chronology

On the outskirts of London, sitting atop a hill, surrounded by countryside a smattering of trees, is the Embassy of Peculiar Chronology.

The people who live nearby would tell you it’s always been there. Of course, that couldn’t possibly be true, but no one seems to say and different. ‘I don’t know what they do in that old place’, they would say, ‘but they seem like nice folk’.

The building is large, but welcoming, surrounded by gardens and a long drive lined with trees and old lamposts. It's brick walls are draped with vines and moss, it’s many windows decorated with potted plants, flags, lightcatchers, curtains, and more, a peek into the people within.

One of these windows is so full of plants it is difficult to see through. Crystals on strings catching the light and transforming it into rainbows on the walls within. And in this room, surrounded by books, plants, and fractured light, sits a girl.

~~~~

Genres: Urban fantasy, adventure, LGBTQ

Themes/tropes: Folklore/mythology elements, monster of the week, identity, partners in crime magical field research, dependence/independence

Content warnings: Occasional instances of ableism, child neglect, and internalized homophobia (sort of)

Summary

When Naja got her job at the Embassy, she expected the strangest things to be the creatures she studied. However, meeting the people that have worked this place all their lives, and exploring the building itself, she’s starting to think that may not be the case.

The Embassy of Peculiar Chronology exists for much the reason it says on the tin- study and document all the things of the world that aren’t quite of it. The creatures told about in folklore, fairy tale, and campfire stories. The ghosts, goblins, and gouls, as well as much more, existing just to the left of everything else. They’ve gotten very good at hiding as they live among the solid beings, but with them, the Embassy has gotten very good at looking.

Everyone has their own job at the Embassy, but the Field Researchers are the face of the operation. Ember and Naja are two very such researchers, answering reports of odd happenings and strange going-ons throughout the UK, and occasionally beyond. Naja hopes that soon, she’ll be seen as just as capable as those who have been there for their whole lives. Ember seems to be getting surprisingly high level jobs, despite only starting actual field jobs a few years prior, and her supervisors clear concern for her saftey. But she doesn’t seem to worry much about it.

Characters

Ember O’Callighan - The Lightning - 20: Ember has lived at the Embassy her entire life, just like every member of her family in the known record books. A a ray of sunshine to all who meet her, she delights in the chance to make anyone’s day better however she can. A ball of energy, she never seems to stop moving, always buzzing with new ideas, thoughts, and fun facts she’s just desperate to share. Lost sight in one eye after a field job gone wrong, also leaving her with a lighting stretch of scars up her arm and to her face. For now, she’s doing her best to cover it up.

Naja Bhasin - The Thunder - 21: The newest member of the London’s Embassy branch, and everyone is very aware of that fact. Soft and kind, happiest in a bookshop cafe working on a new writeup for whatever history publication has picked her up that time. Mostly new to this world of fae and spirits, though there has been one thing, something she’s never been able to explain or understand. Something that drew her to this job in the first place, hoping for answers. Likes to think herself well adjusted, and she wouldn’t be wrong, but she does admit the world is a whole lot bigger and more overwhelming than she’d expected. And that’s before she started investigating magical creatures.

Links

pinterest (you’ll have to click the specific section), playlist

Production information

This will hopefully be written in short ‘episodes’, MotW style though with an underlying story thread, to a hosting platform I’ve yet to choose. There will likley not be a consistent update schedule, as this is more of a side project than main focus, but I’ll give updates on the progress on here so it’s not a complete mystery when you can expect things. I may not start on this for a little while as adhd brain is still hyperfixating on other things, but I’ll try and get to this soon. I hope I know what I’m doing! Probably not. Let’s try anyway!

#wip intro #wip introduction #writeblr #the embassy of peculiar chronology #teopc #urban fantasy #fiction #writing #queer stories #cant wait for the tonal whiplash on working on this at the same time as the other

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lil-demi-boy · 4 years ago

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[BOOP] You've been BOOP'd! Gush about your 5 newest f/o's and your 5 oldest f/o's and pass the BOOP to 5 other self shippers!

Oh wow 10 whole gushes, I’ll go ahead n put this under a read more

I don’t fully remember who I’ve added in what order, but I know Jaime, Haemon, Ross, and Tybalt are new, and though I’ve had Hizashi for a while, I wanna talk about him too

So CL and I have made some more recent stuff about Jaime and Dan, like their first kiss being accidental- Like they trip into each other and make contact, but once they realize what just happened, they’re both v flustered and blooshy and require a good 5 minutes to calm down Though when they do finally kiss for realsies, it’s rly soft and sweet ;v; The slow burn is to die for n I love it

Haemon’s backstory has been expanded too! We figured he’d be from a rich family, though he’d have the type of parents who would get him what he wanted so he’d stay out of their hair. Unfortunately this gave him a complex, so now he tends to throw a fit when he doesn’t get what he wants, especially if he wants someone to date him- so that was fun to work out

As for Ross, he was originally called Chris P. by me n CL but then I was in the Eddsworld Patreon AMA (I got to talk to the real Bing and Matt and I’m still giddy abt it-) they said that Chris is actually named and modeled after a friend of theirs named Ross, so that character is just called Ross. I like his skeleton arm and taste in chicken.

Tybalt was one of my first islanders in Animal Crossing New Horizons! He and Tabby were so sweet to me when I first arrived, and though I don’t usually go for the jock types, Tybalt was always just so sweet and encouraging to me, I couldn’t help but fall in love with him ;v;

And Hizashi (aka Present Mic) has been on my list for a while, but I saw a comic of him recently that just made me fall deeper for him and really think about a relationship with him. He’s a DJ and clearly likes music, and music is one of my hyperfixations, so we would just be able to geek out about our favorite songs and make each other mixtapes and playlists and such,, he goode

As for oldest, if I can remember correctly, I believe they’re TP Link, Danny Fenton, Manny Rivera, Randy Cunningham, and N

Twilight Princess Link occupied my head rent free for years when I was younger- I’d take the TP guide book to school and read it over and over again, getting every bit of lore that I could from it, I’d draw Link all over the place, my proudest drawing at the time being when I tried to draw him in a certain pose from the book (and it impressed everyone around me, which was a Great Feeling). Nowadays I just admire him and am thankful for his existence

Danny Fenton was one that my mom would tease me about bc it was very obvious I had it bad for him when I was a kid. To the point I watched it any time it was on and wound up watching every episode without having to look them up- I just watched them when they came on and happened to catch them all (I also don’t get the hate for Phantom Planet like,,, they turned Earth invisible, that’s badass) Now I ship with him in an AU where he aged with me, so he’s 31 at this point. I’m still working on the AU though so I don’t have a lot of details in it aside from the fact that it’s a crossover AU with the rest of the Secret Trio + Manny from El Tigre

Speaking of which, Manny was another favorite of mine as a kid- I loved watching the show and drawing him and looking up cool AMVs n such once I got access to the internet. I always thought he and Frieda would be fun to be friends and hang out with Now in the Secret Trio AU, he’s 27, and although he does have a super hero alter ego, he’s not part of the team. Mostly because his identity isn’t a secret; everyone knows he’s El Tigre

Randy Cunningham was a later edition due to his show not coming out until 2012. Even then, I was so excited for it- I was fresh in an Invader Zim phase and I heard that Jhonen Vasquez did the character designs n such for the show, so ofc I had to watch it. And I loved it; Ben Schwartz’s voice and the stupid stuff Randy does and says just made me fall for him p much instantly. He’s probably one of the characters I drew the most ship art of at the time, now that I think about it In the current AU, he’s my age, 22 (I legit was stoked to be in the 9th grade at the same time as him, granted my school didn’t have a Tim Curry demon underneath it or a ninja to protect it but y’know) so he’s the youngest of the trio

And N I admittedly didn’t do a lot with when I was younger, I just kinda held on to him over the years. He’s really genuine and sweet though, and going on those ferris wheel rides with him in Black was something I dreamt of often =u=

Well this was super long- if you made it this far, thank you for reading all of that cause lord knows you didn’t have to

#thank you so much for the ask!!!#i don't usually get to gush like this ;u;#zombie [jaime]#[haemon]#[ross]#[tybalt]#talk too much [hizashi]#legend of steel [link]#[danny]#[manny]#go big or go home [randy]#run with the hunted [n]#Anonymous

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friendofhayley · 5 years ago

Text

ship history meme

Embrace your past and get to know your friends’ fandom origins!

Rules: Post gifs of your fandoms / ships starting with your most current hyperfixation and work backwards. (Bonus points if you share any stories about how or when you got into that ship! But not necessary!!) Then tag anyone whose fandom history you’d like to learn about!

Tagged by the most gorgeous, smartest, sweetest, and kindest person in my life @sightetsound <3 Sorry y’all, I have a lot of hyperfixations and I’m on NyQuil!

1. Katsuki Bakugo and Eijiro Kirishima, My Hero Academia - I literally can’t watch Season 4 until it’s finished because my heart will Explode if I’m left on a cliffhanger involving these too!!! (Unbreakable T.T <3) I don’t usually like animes but I fell in love with his trash bastard and his soft rock boyfriend by the villain’s attack in S1. It all started when I got a TikTok because a Very Hot Bakugo cosplayer was on there. (Literally, their rendition of Bakugo is just, umph. They have appeared in my dream.). As she got more popular he started cosplaying more of Class 1-A of MHA, and I kept wondering?? What the fuck is this anime about?? Why is there an alien girl?? I soon gave in and watched the show to gain context to this thirst trap. I have so many feels for these boys, even though I don’t post on them much here, and T.T

2. Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane, Shadowhunters - I literally almost wrote my thesis because of this ship. I got into Shadowhunters because I was depressed in a foreign, racist country where I couldn’t go outside alone because old white men would corner me on the street, and everyone was talking about how Mike from Glee was kissing a guy at a wedding? Instead of partying during my study abroad trip, I gobbled down Malec content. And like who wouldn’t?? Harry Shum Jr. was playing a bisexual warlock?? And he had lines and a main character role??? An interracial couple where the characters are both POC?? Sign me up! But then I quickly fell in love with awkward gayby Alec and immediately knew how it felt to be in his shoes. (Disclaimer: I still haven’t finished the show because I don’t want their story to end, but just seeing their wedding scene????? Tears!!!!!!!!!! Both wedding scenes! I-) I just love how soft they look at each as they realize how lucky they are to be able to fall in love against the odds. T.T They deserve the world and all the warlock and shadowhunter babies and T.T This is just going to devolve into me crying so-

3. Stiles Stilinski and Derek Hale, Teen Wolf - I got into Teen Wolf to escape the hellfire that had become the Glee fandom around S3-S4. (Tbh it might have been Dereklei’s constant Sterek content on my dash that led me to give in.) Stiles was bi (through subtext) and definitely turned on by an older werewolf. What more could a depressed Gleek ask for? And listen - now looking back, Sterek is definitely gay Twilight - if Bella was snarkier, had a mental illness, and also a personality. Sterek was the ship to get me back into writing fanfiction and where I could read paranormal characters working through PTSD, ADHD, and other mental illnesses while fighting monsters and having unrealistic sex! I also love those future fics where Beacon Hills isn’t a Hellmouth anymore, and everyone’s alive and just living as one big found family. Truly, Derek deserves the world and I love him so much, and Stiles definitely agrees.

4. Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, One Direction - If it’s a surprise that I’m a dark larrie, please read my bio. HL made me believe that love is real and exists and can last for years. I got into One Direction in 2011 through a Lilo fanfic, but as soon as I watched the Video Diaries,,,we knew. Louis has saved my life in ways I can’t describe and the songs that they’ve written for each other through their tough times are so inspiring to listen and dance to. Seeing how they’ve been dragged apart by management, Sony Entertainment, and the whole music industry as a whole even though they exist in glass closets is very disheartening to see. But their resilience that they show through their art (Only the Brave, Sweet Creature, If I Could Fly, and like so many others) is always there. If you want to fall in this rabbit hole, look at freddieismyqueen on YT and come inside lol. Larry is real.

5. Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, Glee - the ship that got me on Tumblr! I didn’t start watching Glee until the summer before S2 came out. My whole choir was into it and I didn’t want to be “mainstream”, but Kurt was the first openly gay teen character that I saw on TV. When I heard a character played by Darren Criss, a musical theater YT legend from AVPM, I had to watch it. I ended up binging the first season with those Netflix DVDs during summer break (yeah remember when Netflix wasn’t streaming? lol). I watched every episode of that god-forsaken show the night of (or night after illegally, hidden from my parents) for that ship, and then me and my best friend would rant about it for the whole week: rinse and repeat. The episode they got together made me scream and I definitely put those Glee Rewind songs in my iPhone. (Fun fact: I used to cry at night because I wished someone like Kurt could love me like that because I heavily related to Blaine and his whole situation). I naturally stopped watching Glee the moment they broke them up and I’m still mad at their hasty attempt to marry them out of nowhere with no well-written getting together / make-up arc other than Jigsaw?? and a barn wedding?? As if Hummel would. What a trash fire. But dang, Glee fanfics have some of the dirtiest, kinkiest, forbidden fics out there. If you were ever on Glee_Kink_Meme on LJ, you know.

6. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter - the ship that started it all, the big kahuna, the ultimate enemies to lovers for 90s kids. Drarry got me into the fandom world in middle school, where I basically lived on FFN and LJ while pretending to do my homework. I used to get ready every day by watching the same playlist of “The best Harry Potter videos on Youtube!” (curated by Ariel333Lindt, who was the only queer person I knew but lived in Eastern Europe, where I could see two gay people kiss and fall in love in the safety of my room through badly photoshopped videos. Please check out that playlist). I just love how each fic is a microcosm where they have to construct how magical systems work, the backstories of pureblood families, creatures, or just wizarding culture for the end goal of having Drarry fuck and fall in love! I love redemption arcs that take 200k to achieve, I love dark!Harry takes, and every single different damn take on Narcissa, Pansy, and Millicent - because deep down that’s the writer trying to come to turns on whether or not Draco should be redeemed to get together with Harry. (I mean we all know they’re obsessed with each other, book 6 anyone?) I feel like Drarry fics have the best worldbuilding and characterizations of these characters, and I just love those moments when Draco and Harry take a moment to take a breath together and realize how far they’ve come. No one else can understand how it felt to be the pariah or the chosen one, they both interacted with Voldemort the most, and they have the most history together. They should have gotten together! But I mean the author’s dead, am I right?

So that was a lot! Those are all the ships that impacted me that I still participate with. They have shaped me for better or worse, and have made me learn more about who I am and what I want (or don’t want) in a relationship. This was the most fun essay I’ve ever written on NyQuil!

I’m tagging @homosociallyyours because I really want to know your fandom story! Also @stozierbrak because I love you and must hear you gush about your boys. I’m also tagging @iamaqualady because you’re literally the most intriguing person I know and I’m glad we’re friends even though we haven’t interacted that much? ish?

#tag #me #kiribaku #drarry #sterek

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