#fun fact irl with my partner the first time he took me on a date i didn't realize it was a date either

[izvmimi]

🤗

honeymoon, cupcake, zzz for mimidoriya

lace, bubblegum, wine for tanjimimi

for mimidoriya:

honeymoon ౨ৎ where did the two of you travel to for your honeymoon? and how was it?

we honeymoon in my home country, then in okinawa . it was really sweet and perfect refresher!

cupcake ౨ৎ do you and your lover frequent parties/clubs/social gatherings often?

we tend to be in a lot of large social gatherings by virtue of his job but otherwise we're pretty much homebodies.

zzz ౨ৎ what are your sleeping positions like?

either izuku as the big spoon or him on his back and me holding onto him, but i'm a rough sleeper so sometimes we separate so that i don't knock him out while sleeping HAHAHA

for tanjimimi:

lace ౨ৎ what’s their favorite outfit of yours?

tanjiro likes it when i wear japanese style attire more than like western clothing of that time period! his favorite one is the first kimono he ever saw me in during the isekai au.

when in the modern au, he does like it when i dress a bit more high femme as opposed to my usual either nearly athleisure or like business casual style, but doesn't mind what i wear either way!

bubblegum ౨ৎ any hobbies the two of you share?

cooking! we recreate restaurant dishes together a lot!

wine ౨ৎ how did your first date go?

considering that i didn't know it was a date, it still went very well. our first date, he took me haori shopping and we went to the city to tour and have sweets!

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

sweaters, breakfast, and a cold north carolina apartment

pairing: irl karl jacobs x gn reader warnings: rpf pronouns: not used word count: 1.4k (ish) summary: sleeping over at karl’s apartment was fun! except he keeps his air way too cold... at least you have his sweaters and his cooking and him to warm you up 

note: this is a fic for @dreamcatcherrs​​ 5k event!! congrats again stella!!!! the prompt I had was “I can't get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you're having breakfast with me in my sweater.”

One of the most exciting things about the beginning of relationships was firsts. First date, first kiss, first time confessing your love for your partner… the list goes on. You were visiting your boyfriend in North Carolina and it was all exciting, but you quickly learned not every part of “firsts” was enjoyable. The first time sleeping at Karl’s apartment? Well, the weather could make it almost miserable.

Shivering lightly, you pulled your blanket closer to you, but it didn’t help much. North Carolina winters were more brutal than you expected and it seemed your boyfriend disagreed; Karl kept the air at a disgustingly low temperature considering it was snowing outside.

You looked over at his sleeping figure before glancing at the clock by his head. It was nearly five in the morning and there was no way you’d be able to fall back asleep while it was this cold. The frosty air seemed to seep into your skin and you could almost picture the ice building up over your vital organs. You were going to literally freeze from the outside in if you didn’t do anything about it.

After a quick glance around the room, you spotted a chunky sweater that had been thrown over the back of a chair when Karl was getting ready for bed and you remembered him bragging about how effective it was against the outside air when you two took a walk yesterday. You slipped out of the covers and quickly grabbed it without a second thought, throwing it on over your pajamas. It was a little chilly from being out in the cold air, but it trapped in your body heat and you could feel your arms thaw out a little. You quickly got back into bed before the air could get between the sheets and make the mattress even colder.

It was still freezing, but Karl’s large sweater was significantly warmer than just the long sleeve shirt you had underneath. It gave you butterflies to know you were wearing something of his. That was another first, wearing each other’s clothes.

You looked to Karl as you laid back down, who seemed to be just fine, spread out and looking very content despite it being the temperature of Antarctica. You decided to complain to him about it when he woke up, but he looked too peaceful to disturb now. Still wanting to make it his problem in some way, you rolled over and cuddled into him for warmth, and his sleeping arms subconsciously wrapped around you when you got closer.

Despite being wrapped in his arms and sweater, you weren’t able to get a lot more sleep, and a few hours later you woke up again. After deciding to stay up, you went to the living room to watch shows so you didn’t wake up your boyfriend. You turned on some cartoons and grabbed every blanket in the living room you could find, piling them on top of you. Halfway through one of your favorite episodes, Karl walked out, rubbing his eyes gently before smiling at you and bounding over, lightly tackling you as you lied on the couch.

“Hello, there,” you laughed as he crushed you and placed a kiss on your lips. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” he responded. “What are you doing out here? Under a mountain of blankets?”

“Your room is freezing,” you explained. “I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to wake you up.”

He frowned and you leaned up to kiss his pout. “I’m sorry you were so cold,” he apologized as he stood up. “You should have woken me up.”

You shook your head. “You looked too cute, I couldn’t disturb you.”

He laughed through his nose and shook his head. “I’ll go turn the heat up and then how about we get some breakfast?”

“Yes to both of those,” you replied, peeling back the pile of blankets on top of you and pulling yourself off the couch. Karl stared at what you were wearing but didn’t say anything about the specific clothing, which made you a little self-conscious. Was he okay with the fact you stole one of his sweaters without asking?

You grabbed one of the blankets and wrapped it around you before grabbing his outstretched hand. You followed him into the kitchen after he changed the temperature in the apartment and looked in the pantry while he looked in the fridge.

“What are you in the mood for?” he asked.

Humming, you scanned the shelves looking for something to catch your eye. “Cheerios.”

“You don’t want any warm food like pancakes or something?”

You looked over at him quickly and your eyes followed him as he walked over to you. “You’d make me pancakes?”

He giggled and wrapped his arms behind you, giving you a kiss on the cheek before resting his chin on your shoulder. “Of course I would. Figure they could help warm you up,” he teased before adding a little quieter, “Aaaand it’s the first time you’ve slept over so I wanna show off my amazing chef skills. Nothing says ‘we should do this again’ like me making you food.”

“Karl Jacobs, you spoil me,” you joked as you turned around in his embrace to look at him.

“You’re worth spoiling,” he declared cheesily as he pressed a few short kisses to your face. “So, yes? Pancakes?”

“Yes, please. Can I help you in some way?” you asked, watching him as he started grabbing ingredients.

“Nope, just sit back and watch the master at work,” he boasted, pushing up his sleeves. You laughed at his seriousness and took a seat at the counter, observing the way he made the food like it was muscle memory. The room was much warmer now, but his sweater was way too comfortable to take off, so you resorted to removing the blanket around you. You grabbed the ends of your sleeves in your fists and rested your chin in your hands as your elbows pressed against the countertop.

As Karl finished making the last of the meal, he glanced at you and his eyes flickered to the sweater, now visible without the blanket. Gray eyes stared into yours and a small smile tugged at his lips. “What?” you asked impatiently in the silence, a nervous laugh behind your words as you continued to look at the boy. Was he about to say it was weird for you to put on his clothes without asking?

Karl opened his mouth but no words came out, a large smile taking place on his lips instead. He shook his head lightly, trying his hardest to contain the smile as he turned off the stove and handed you a plate of pancakes.

“Karl, what?” you laughed. “What is so funny?”

“Nothing’s funny,” he corrected before giggling, cheeks reddening. He placed a bottle of syrup on the counter between you as he set his own plate of pancakes down in front of him. “It’s just that... I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me... in my sweater.”

You looked down at the fabric keeping you warm and felt your face heat up at the sight of it. “Oh.” You looked back up and rolled your eyes lightly but were relieved that he finally addressed it so you knew he was okay with it. “You’re a dork.”

“It’s cute!” he defended, pride in his expression. “You know that’s one of my favorites?”

“I see why; it’s incredibly warm and soft,” you mumbled.

He giggled and just kept smiling at you. “Well I was going to offer cuddling as a solution if you’re still cold when we’re done eating, but if my clothes are warm enough then-”

“No, no,” you contradicted. “We can still cuddle.”

He smiled and a small giggle escaped. “So needy of you.”

“Shut up.”

Despite what you thought as you were kept awake through the night by the cold air, the first time sleeping over at Karl’s wasn’t miserable after all. The pancakes definitely helped, but you decided sleepovers with your boyfriend needed to happen more often.

But it really wouldn’t kill him to turn the heater on for once.

[kinktae]

beyond the story: bitchin’

Hi friends! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these tough times! I really wanted to put something out there as a thank you to just how much support Bitchin’ got. You guys really are incredible. So, although this story has come to an end, I wanted to properly close the Bitchin’ chapter by giving you all a behind the scenes look at Bitchin’ and everything that went into writing it. This includes hidden easter eggs, backstories, alternative plot-lines, and a short drabble of the Bitchin’ cast 10 years after the story’s end.

Without further ado, please enjoy and thank you again for all your love. You have all of mine.

CHAPTER ONE – PARTNERS

Ah, yes, the start of this whole wild ride. I’ve always loved the whole nerd/popular person trope in fanfics, so it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it too. One thing I was adamant about was not making this a “popular person turns nerd hot/confident/better” fic as its kind of one of my least favorite cliches. With that in mind, and knowing that I was going to allude to TATBILB’s contract, I decided that I wanted Y/N to gain as much from the deal as Jungkook did. No blackmail, no just agreeing for the hell of it – Y/N was going to further herself and her dreams given the opportunity.

The beginning of the chapter is where the two are most separated and dissimilar throughout the whole story. It wasn’t that they were fundamentally different, it was that they approached life differently. Y/N was frustrated at how superficial Jungkook seemed, because she believes there is much more to life than just kicking your feet up and cracking jokes.

On the other hand, Jungkook didn’t understand why Y/N was so tense and on guard. To him, life was meant to enjoy and not take so seriously. Which makes sense, given that he grew up with minimal rules and minimal worries (bare minimum partners wassup !) 

“So, do we have a deal? Partners?” There was mischievous timber to his words, the kind that made you feel as if this would all later come back to bite you in the ass.

Pushing that pestering thought away, you took his hand into yours, holding his eyes as you gave it a firm shake.

“Partners.”

God, this bit. I knew from the minute I wrote it that I was writing the ending of bitchin’ along with it. I knew this was exactly how I was going to end this story, bc the word partners has multiple means right? In chapter 1, this meant business partners, but in the final chapter… it means life partners. Idk, I’m just still really happy with this writing decision :D

CHAPTER TWO – THE CONTRACT

Dearest Yara. We meet her in chapter two don’t we? Yara is completely based off of my irl best friend Yara who is a writer and who helped me A LOT with this story. She was my biggest supporter throughout figuring out this crazy plot. It was initially only about seven parts, but with her help I managed to bump it up to 10! Everybody say thank you Yaraaaa.

You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm’s living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.

The song reference is a direct allusion to writer Yara’s fic, which is one of my favorite fics by her. She was actively writing it around the start of our friendship so it only felt right to pay respects to her. The introduction of her character felt necessary imo bc I wanted to make sure Y/N had a life outside Jungkook. Plus, I got to use the scenes between the two girls as a way to reference the music and culture scene. Yara is especially a fan of the powerful women in the music industry at the time, i.e., Madonna, Annie Lennox, Cyndi Laupner, etc.) Yara is a raging feminist and believer in sexual freedom and libery for women, we do in fact have to stan.

“How old do you think your sister is?”

“Hey, don’t sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas.” Yara recalled.

Lyanna is one of writer Yara’s past pseudonyms. She always used to joke about how whenever she read it, it was confusing because there was Y/N, Yara and Lyanna, which were technically all her lolol.

FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE CONTRACT I INSERTED INTO THIS PICTURE… Twitter found it and made it into somewhat of a meme because no one knew it came from a fic rip. I was actually rly embarrassed and even wrote some posts about how much twitter scared me on my blog LMAO. but THEN weirdly enough, I actually stumbled upon a small community on twitter who actually found my fic and would TWEET ABOUT IT!!! LIKE REACTIONS TO EACH UPDATE!!! I wish I could go back in time and remember how giddy I was the first time I found a tweet about my fic. The fanfic community on twitter gave me a new love for the site (which I had previously had removed myself from because of its toxicity) and I have met so many wonderful people because of it. People even made themselves a little twitter group chat to talk about my fics, and now we are all friends! I miss posting a chapter of bitchin’ and refreshing my twitter feed as all my mutuals would post memes and live tweet their reactions. God that made me so fucking happy.

CHAPTER THREE – THE ROLLERSKATING DATE

I love the bickering in this chapter, because unlike the bickering in the first chapter, it’s actually less hostile and more playful. Y/N is slowly letting her guard down to the very persistently charming Jungkook.

“Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then.” He noted.

“Yep. Three.”

“Tell me about them.”

Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook’s eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.

I actually originally had Y/N brush him off here. I was going to wait until the drunk party scene for Y/N to open up about her family and relationship with her sisters. But then I kind of thought to myself… Why? Y/N made peace with it and doesn’t hold onto those insecurities anymore. And objectively, Jungkook hasn’t proven himself to be a bad person so… I let Y/N open herself up to him.

“Then there’s the twins, Rosa and Lia.”

“Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?” Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.

“Yep. They were two grades above us.” You confirmed.

“Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot.” Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. “Uh, in a totally non-meathead way.”

You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.

Some of y’all notice but, Rosa and Lia are a blatant homage to my name: Roselia. ACTUALLY some form of my name can be found in every one of the rewind series fics, including upcoming ones. I’ll give a cookie to whoever can find every single mention hehe.

“I told you it was dumb.” You laughed nervously.

It wasn’t that you cared much about what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn’t be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.

“No, I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”

Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.

Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.

From the get go, Jungkook was extremely drawn to just how confident and secure Y/N was in herself. I knew I wanted Y/N to be unapologetically sure of herself and in her abilities. Something I didn’t want, however, was for frat boy!jungkook’s only personality traits to be liking sex and being a cocky bastard (although I am a big consumer of that trope heh). Jungkook is actually canonly incredibly insecure. He lacks a real sense of self, which is why he is so desperate for Kiri back. His relationship with Kiri at that time was a big part of what he thought was himself. He has somewhat of low self esteem tbh which is why he’ll go back to a woman who treated him unfairly. That’s why he comes off the way he does in the first chapter and why Y/N thinks he has a big ego... he’s overcompensating. He finds it so endlessly fascinating that Y/N, in all her confident glory, was actually once super insecure. He admires her all the more once she opens up about her past.

“Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown’s newspaper but between you and me those assholes don’t even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall.”

“What about your brother?” Jungkook asked.

“He’s training to be a cop just like my dad.”

“And your mom?”

“She works at a convenience store.”

All their careers resemble people in the latest Stranger Things season (Nancy, Steve, Hopper, and Joyce). Fun Cameo there.

“What’s wrong?” You wondered, following his eyes.

“October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM.”

“Yes. That’s today’s date and time. What about it?” You pressed, growing confused.

“Remember it.” He warned.

“Why?”

“It’s when I fell in love with you.”

This iconic line I actually got from the real Jeon Jungkook himself. While Jungkook wasn’t actually in love with Y/N here, it certainly was a cute way for him to express his admiration for her.

OH HERE’S A FUN FACT: the hickey scene at the end of this chapter where JK and Y/N kiss for the first time was actually supposed to be Yara giving Y/N the hickey like the best friend she is. Ultimately I went with JK giving it for... smut purposes... ≖‿≖ 

CHAPTER FOUR – THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

The decision for Y/N to be Freddie Krueger came from me planning to be him for Halloween. And I was! JK as Glen Lantz just followed naturally. I’ve seen some great edits of him as the character. Truly chef’s kiss.

I really liked that Jungkook came over to the girl’s dorm to get ready. I didn’t want a scene where Y/N was thrown into a situation she was uncomfortable with which is how much Nerd At A Party Scene go so made sure Jungkook stayed by her side throughout the part, going out of his way to introducing her to the people he cared about.

Tae’s character came in when I realized I needed a way to actually put Y/N’s event in motion. He was the missing link and BOY did you guys eat his character right up huh. Love that for me.

Another thing, the confrontation with Kiri was so hard to write guys, I reeaaaally struggle with girl conflict. GIRLS SHOULD SUPPORT GIRLS. However, not everyone gets along in real life so I went with Kiri being more along the lines of petty rather than outwardly a cunt to Y/N. Realistically, Kiri is popular and well liked among the greek life so being unkind to someone she hardly knows wouldn’t make sense. There’s definitely tension between these two but I tried my best to steer away from the typical cat fight/revenge porn/public humiliation trope most movies seem to follow.

CHAPTER FIVE – THE FIRST TIME

Introduction to Erik!!!! It was really important to me that Y/N had a life before Jungkook. That's why I wrote in Y/N having a fiancé. She’s not opposed to love, she just has reshifted her focus. She knows what she wants and is choosing to focus on that, which why when she realizes she’s falling for Kookie she’s so hesitant to admit it because she’s fallen down that road before. Even though Jungkook treats her with respect and acknowledges the parts of her she’s most proud of, she just isn’t willing to possibly give up her passions for love. Which is why she doesn’t immediately confess to him, even once she’s sure she loves him.

“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.

“The sun?” You laughed.

“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”

Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.

“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”

And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.

No real commentary here. Just love this bit. It’s probably my favorite interaction between them two ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) 

“Also… She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.

Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.

“Yara?”

“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”

Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.

Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”

Ugh yes, some character development from Yara.... the flavor ! Yara (much like Y/N and JK) also struggles with love. She has a real fear of commitment and if far more comfortable with casual sex than relationships. She did develop actual feelings for Eunwoo, she just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment so she cut him off. Fleed the scene if you will. Typical gemini smh my head.

"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.

“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.

“You think?”

“Totally. Think of it as… a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.

“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”

You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.

“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.

GOD THEY’RE SO WHIPPED FOR EACH OTHER ITS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I’m really happy I decided not to make sleeping together a big deal and I got a lot of feedback from you guys agreeing! I had a lot of fun with these two’s sex scenes knowing they could do it whenever they wanted.

CHAPTER SIX – THE STEM EVENT

I started the scene with smut BUT I wanted to point out that much of their time spent together is at Y/N dorm, Jungkook either napping, hanging out or doing work as Y/N would study like she always did. I liked the idea that Jungkook would get bored and would want attention from Y/N because she was so focused. Idk, I just wanted to write a love story about two people spending time together and figuring out how they fit in each other’s lives as opposed to some dramatic I mEeT HiM aNd mY LiFe bEcAmE cRaZy. There’s nothing wrong with that plot line, I just didn’t want that for these two dorks. I wanted Y/N to interact with JK’s scene and crowd but not give up her own which is why most days JK and her just lounged around in her dorm studying.

Also, I don’t know how the teacher/student roleplay made it into the smut, it just did, no further questions (ʃ⌣́_⌣́ƪ).

Then the event scene.

“You’re whipped, dude! Seriously.”

Jungkook felt his face go red, “Shut up, no, I’m not.”

“Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. That’s your girl.” Taehyung shrugged. Jungkook placed a hand on the fold up table in front of him, staring down at the information pamphlet you had worked so hard on.

“She’s just… so fucking driven and passionate about everything she does. Sometimes I look at her, and I’m just like… holy shit, what am I doing with a girl like her? I feel like she’s totally out of my league and being with me is holding her back but— I dunno, man. I just… really like her.” Jungkook revealed, voice growing small.

An unexpected wave of tenderness fell over the two boys, Taehyung throwing an arm over his little brother’s shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, bro.”

Jungkook didn’t know it just yet but dude was talking from the heart and, is in fact, totally whipped :’c

I loved the confrontation scene between the boys and Eunwoo because the boys standing up for Yara really did make everyone feel like a friend group, not just some character who happen to exist at the same time. It wasn’t just Y/N and Yara and one side and the boys on the other. They would all become friends, which is ideal to me. A boyfriend who likes your best friend and considers her a friend so you can all hang out??? Yes please.

Initially, irl Yara and I had noooo clue if Yara would end up with Eunwoo or not. That was actually the original goal actually. But after this chapter four, you guys made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you guys wanted to see Taeyara, despite the two never even meeting! Honestly, it wasn’t until this chapter was written that we decided for sure that Eunwoo was out of the picture for Yara. Part of me really wanted to keep Yara single, but irl Yara insisted on dick and frankly, she’s right. Bitchin’ Yara deserved a shot at love. She definitely has her own story outside of Bitchin’ and will experience a lot of growth in the future.

“God, I know. I do not miss that temper of his.” She chuckled, her words piquing your interest.

“Temper?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you seriously not experienced it yet? He’s got some gnarly anger issues. Not to mention all the lying…” Kiri paused suddenly, straightening up as she flashed you an apologetic look. “Yikes, I’m sorry. I totally should not be telling you this. I’m not trying to be that gross girl that shit talks her ex to his current girlfriend.”

Miss Kiri, Miss Kiri. She really acted up this chapter didn’t she. There was a lot of discussion about whether or not those things she said about Jungkook were true. Which was exactly what I wanted hehe. We come to find out that Kiri had definitely stretched the truth. She really is good at manipulation and understanding how people think and it’s why she is in the role that she is in. Messy queen.

CHAPTER SEVEN – THE ROOFTOP DATE

This entire chapter was inspired by High School Musical with Troy and Gabriella’s rooftop garden scenes. This was my shortest chapter and honestly, probably not my strongest. I definitely went into writing this with zero concept of what I actually wanted to happen. Usually when I write my chapters I have a 4k long outline of it beforehand that I go off of. Not this one though. I really just winged it and I tried my best to write a chapter that really showed off (dialogue wise) just how this couple bounces off each other. I do really like some of the banter they have in this chapter.

You had taken note a little wooden popsicle stick poking up from the soil of the yellow flowers. Acacias, they were marked. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you considered his words.

Yellow acacias stands the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love! I thought that was very appropriate given these dummies' relationship.

“So, you probably know why I brought you here.”

You nodded.

“You’re proposing, right?”

“Yeah, I– oh, shut up.” He laughed, the serious mood shattering as you joined him.

Even though I knew they were going to have a semi serious talk, what with Y/N asking about what Kiri had told her, these two dufuses realistically are just too comfortable with each other to stay serious for too long.

“Hey, I said that out of frustration, I didn’t really mean it. I’m sure she’ll come crawling back soon.” You attempted to comfort him, hoping to sound sincere.

“Even if that’s true, I’m not entirely sure I want that anymore.”

“What?” You blinked. Jungkook shrugged.

“What about us?” He met your eyes, causing your breath to hitch.

“What about us?”

Jungkook stared at you for a moment, noting the way the timber in your voice had become higher pitched as if panicked.

MORE FUN FACTS LMFAO: I typically do this thing with unplanned chapters where I just go for it and write and usually it works out. But when I wrote this down I remember stopping and being like ??? WHY DID I JUST WRITE THAT ??? I don’t like deleting my writing so I had a serious think to myself about whether this was going to be the moment Jungkook confessed or not.

Canonly, I decided that Jungkook did in fact mean ‘us’ in a romantic sense, but because of the way you perceivably panicked at that possible meaning, he decided against taking the conversation in that direction, instead speaking about ‘us’ in a platonic sense. Poor kookie :(

“Stop. Listen to me, Jungkook, you’re a fucking great guy, okay? You’re charismatic and funny and care about your friends… sure, you almost ruined my event, but it was mostly to defend my best friend when Eunwoo got too pushy, right? You’re a good guy, meathead. I know I joke about your ego, but I really believe you’re capable of more than you think you are. Seriously, Kiri is so lucky to be the object of your affection.”

Jungkook watched the way the sun’s orange light kissed your face, a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest as he contemplated the object of his affection. Just a couple of months ago, he would have had no doubt about who held his heart, but as you held his stare, he found himself unsure and yet, entirely sure all the same.

“Jungkook? You okay?” You frowned, catching in the sadness in his eyes.

“Hm? Yeah, yeah. I just… realized something.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“…It doesn’t matter.” He smiled, the gesture hardly reaching his eyes.

It’s in this moment that Jungkook decides that there is no way you hold the same affection towards him that he does to you. He mistakes your words of comfort as you pushing him away. You are so kind and encouraging and Jungkook loves you so much that hearing you insist about him ending back up with Kiri hurts him so bad.

But you are still unsure about your feelings and genuinely believe that's still what Jungkook wants. You’re just being a supportive friend!! :( It isn’t until the end of this chapter when Y/N has her talk with Yara that she realizes, oh man, she’s in deep.

CHAPTER EIGHT – THE MISTAKE

BLAH. This chapter is so BLAH, you know? Having to write this chapter was SO HARD. I texted irl Yara complaining about how much I hated having to put my characters through this and that I wanted to just end the story on chapter 7 and keep them happy forever. BUT ALAS! I had planned for this to happen from the start.

You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.

God, he had missed the taste of you.

What you guys didn’t see is Jungkook spending the night with Kiri, and immediately kicking her out, freaking out as the weight of guilt washed over him. He knew he had done nothing wrong, that you weren’t his real girlfriend, and that getting back together with Kiri was exactly what he had signed up for. It was what he should’ve wanted. But it wasn't… because you were what he wanted. And that was exactly what he was going to tell you as he marched over to your apartment.

But he panicked. His mind already decided that your answer to him would be no– that you didn’t feel the same. So he kissed you. He had you in the only way he was allowed to. He was selfish and impulsive and so incredibly scared that he ended up hurting the person he loved the most.

Initially though, I had Jungkook get back together with Kiri, not that he slept with her right before sleeping with Y/N. But I decided TEEHEE let me just make everything erupt into flames. However, I didn’t realize just how angry with Jungkook you guys would get. I remember thinking DAMMIT WAS THAT TOO SCANDALOUS?? I knew I was going to have to work hard for Jungkook to redeem himself to my readers.

“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.

“…Oh.”

You shook your head.

“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.

“Y/N–”

“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see the way your eyes had welled up.

Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.

“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.

GOD THIS PART IS SO UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU MORONS! This entire situation is so convoluted because there's so much information missing and not being expressed, I seriously want to ring my own neck rereading this bit.

“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.

“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”

“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”

And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?

IDIOTS!!! THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS!!! I don't know how y'all put up with this for so long. Forgive me.

CHAPTER NINE – THE BREAK

Okay I actually love this chapter. And for many reasons. Let me break down the three scenes for you guys.

Scene one: Kiri confrontation

Kiri is definitely an opposing antagonist. She is constantly working against Y/N because of their interests directly conflicting. BUT. I would argue that the biggest antagonist to this story is the inner ones – Y/N and Jungkook's lack of ability to admit their feelings constantly holding them both back from their happy ending. That being said, a confrontation scene between Y/N and Kiri was MUCH needed. While I suppose I can understand why Kiri doesn't like Y/N, that doesn't change the fact that she has been disrespectful and catty. So miss Y/N had to put Miss Kiri in her place (•̀ᴗ•́)

Scene two: Yara and Tae at the library

Fanservice. That is all. LMFAOOO y'all reallllyyy wanted it to happen and who am I to deny my people what they want. It was really fun getting to explore my side characters and develop them through interactions outside the two main characters. IRL Yara also mentioned giving bitchin’ Yara and Tae their own chapter as a joke and I was like LOL BET. I fully was going to but then I got the idea for the next scene and was like ahh ok maybe not the whole chapter.

Scene three: Meeting with Erik

So. This was a SUPER last minute decision. Like, it wasn’t until I was writing this chapter that I planned on Erik making an appearance. I saw a tweet with someone saying their bitchin theories and they mentioned Erik appearing out of nowhere and I was like,,, HOLD ON!!!! That could be kind of spicy ≖‿≖ 

I knew for a fact JK was NOT going to be forgiven in this chapter; I needed a way to lay the situation out between the two dorks without trying to seem like I was trying to sway my audience in a way that didn't make sense to the story. Y/N was rightfully angry. But she wasn't only angry about the timing of the sex. She was angry that Jungkook went back to Kiri at all and there was no way she was going to admit that. So who better to lay it all out than calculated, unbiased third party Erik. He deserved some character development after all.

I also liked the idea that Y/N had, in theory, “romantic options.” Losing Jungkook didn’t mean the end of her life. Having my female lead stand on her own was very important to me.

CHAPTER TEN – THE END

RIGHT OF THE BAT I needed Jungkook to suffer. So that whole scene where he tries to interact with his old group only for his presence to make everything awkward MMMM yes, sweet revenge on my part.

You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.

THE WAY SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ON THIS LINE “but Y/N liked it long?!?”  IS SO FUNNNYyyyy. So let me clarify a thing. Jungkook had always wanted to cut his hair right. The only reason he didn’t was because Y/N told him not to. With Y/N no longer in the picture to convince him out of it, he cut his hair. That’s really all there is to it skfjsjf.

You know, I had written this part around the time I had just finished up the third ch believe it or not. And it was COMPLETELY different. I had it planned that Yara and Y/N ignored him throughout class and Yara had gone back after the bell rang to go verbally assault JK. And as the two hashed it out, only then was that when Jungkook would realize that he liked Y/N after Yara literally spelled it out for him.

“You like her, dumbass!” Was what I had written Yara saying. I really had written him in denial for ten chapters, I was a whole sociopath (╥﹏╥). But ultimately, I decided that Jungkook came to that conclusion on his own and the decision to apologize to Y/N would have been made over winter break.

“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”

“I’m—”

“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.

Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.

“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”

Man :( writing this hurt my heart. I really, really, love bitchin!y/n and writing her hurting freaking stinks. But she had to speak her mind. She deserves the chance to get everything off her chest with the way Jungkook hurt her.

Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you. Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.

The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.

You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.

“I slept with Erik.”

Hehe. Ofc my girl Y/N had to have a rebound!!! She knows that life goes on. However, as I wrote in, she definitely regretted it. It was kind of the same situation that Jungkook was in where he pursued something just because it was familiar and a distraction and not because he really wanted it. Both Y/N and Jungkook are flawed characters but that’s okay! If anything, Y/N’s mistake of sleeping with Erik is what allows her to forgive Jungkook. Knowing first hand how complicated their entire relationship really was.

“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.

Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.

I got this line from one of my best friends after her ex broke up with her. It made me physically sad and really sympathize with her so I quickly wrote it down into my notes app to save for later LMAOOOO. Knowing that you are your own person and life will inevitably go on after losing someone, but that your heart still wants and is pleading for the one person you can’t have. SO SAD. I’m happy I got to use this line in one of my fics.

The note Jungkook wrote Y/N,,, imagine him not being able to sleep one night over winter break so he just writes down everything he should have told Y/N while he still had the chance…. I’ll for real cry dude, he’s so cute. Also, the line about him buying you fluffy Halloween socks for Christmas went over people’s heads I think but HECK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND SWEET (because Y/N bought Christmas socks when it was Halloween teehee).

"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.

"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.

"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.

I included this scene with Yara because things were getting too serious for my liking ngl. Plus the idea that the four of them would all come together at the end for a much needed reunion made my happy bitchin heart soar.

Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.

“Partners?”

The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.

Idiot.

“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.

UGH I LOVE THEM I REALLY DO. I was so happy with how this final scene came out :( They’re partners, they really are I miss these boneheads.

AND NOW, I PRESENT THE CANON FUTURE OF THE BITCHIN UNIVERSE...

10 YEARS LATER

Let’s be honest, Jungkook popped the question the day of graduation, he can’t imagine a life in which you wouldn’t be beside him

You said yes (shocker)

Cue Jungkook being the most wonderful partner and respecting your wish to finish your residency program before having the wedding

You absolutely kick ass at being a neonatal surgeon

Also, Jungkook started a film company! It’s small but he loves what he does and works with colleges and helps out the film majors with resources and equipment <3

SO IT'S THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING RIGHT

Yara and your sisters are helping you get ready, with your best friend as the ever so reassuring maid of honor

And by that I mean you’re as calm as a cucumber and Yara is one wrong move away from having a stroke

“Y/N… Don’t freak out....The catering company put in two orders of shrimp instead of chicken and steak.”

“Yara, it’s okay.”

“NO ITS NOT???? THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU’RE GETTING CRUSTACEANS.”

Y/N making Yara take a seat and practice some breathing exercises so she doesn’t upset the baby

Oh yeah, Yara is 10 weeks pregnant

Taehyung is the dad lol

Yara and Taehyung have been together ever since that day at the library hehe <3

They moved in together and adopted a cat and everything (sweet boy Tae wanted a dog but Yara’s afraid of dogs and Tae would do anything for that woman so Yeontan the cat it is)

Yara refuses to put a label on their relationship even after all this time, and Tae doesn’t ask for one. They’re happy and dedicated to each other and don’t feel the need to put pressure on something that’s already so perfect

Yara is actually violently in love with Tae but still scoffs when Y/N tries to bring it up

“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”

“Huh??? you must be sick or something. Get well soon, damn :/”

Yara likes to come up with different labels for Taehyung every time she has to introduce him. Among her favorites are roommate, rent sharer, baby daddy and penis lender

Speaking of Taehyung, he’d have a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he tries to calm down the panicking groom to be

“JK, breathe.”

“What if she doesn’t show up? What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if I pressured her into this and— and I’ve freaked her out and now she hates me?”

“Dude, you guys have been engaged for eight years. She’s had her opportunity to run. She’ll show up.”

Taehyung scruffing up the younger man’s hair reassuringly, which only flusters him more because DAMMIT he wants to look perfect for you and now his hair is messed up >:(

(You like him no matter what his hair looks like though)

Jungkook literally swallowing down a sob as you walk down the aisle and he lays his eyes on you for the first time

You having a dumb smile on your face the entire walk over because your husband to be is crying and you haven’t even exchanged vows yet

The entire audience going all sobby when you finally do exchange vows because they’re so beautiful and real

The ten years together has not been easy— from financial struggles as you tried to support yourself through med school, to personal conflicts when Jungkook wanted to start a family already

But you guys figured it out

You always do

He’s your person. And you are his.

Y/N’s sisters Rosa and Lia are a WRECK— even your dad is tearing up

Your family loves Jungkook and have been counting down the days until you guys married, let’s be honest

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Jungkook punching the air with a “FINALLY!” before kissing the hell out of you

The cutting of the cake inevitably turning into a food fight

The shrimp entrees turning out to be pretty damn good

Yara catching the bouquet and wagging her brows at Taehyung suggestively

Jungkook pulling you aside to take photos of you outside the venue because you look so so pretty and he loves the way you smile when he’s the one behind the camera

The party is in full session, your siblings tearing up the dance floor like the extroverts they are

You and Jungkook are sat at the head of the room, hands intertwined underneath the table as you watch a tired and painfully sober Yara swing her bare feet onto Taehyung’s lap, requesting a foot rub

Watching your pregnant best friend and her lover together, you turned towards your own, smile impossibly wide

“What?”

“Let’s have a baby.” You’d grin, so stupid happy

Jungkook’s eyes going round and immediately jumping up from his seat because god that’s all he’s ever wanted

Being tugged out the room by a giddy Jungkook, one of your heels flinging off somewhere behind you.

“What’s happening? Where are we going?!”

The two of you find yourself in a storage room somewhere on the hotel floor

“Jeon Jungkook, what the hell—“

His mouth find yourself, kissing you in a way that couldn’t at the altar

You kissed him back without questions, arms wrapping around the man you now called your husband

“I love you.” He’d sigh into your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver

“I love you too.”

“Let’s make a baby.”

“Yeah let’s— wait, right here? Right now?!”

Jungkook merely nodding as his mouth found the exposed skin of your chest

“Meathead, we can’t just ditch our wedding to have sex!”

“Why not? We did our marital duties. Now it’s our guests' job to get embarrassingly drunk and make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. No one will even miss us.”

“Isn’t baby making what our honeymoon is for?”

“Screw that. I’ve done my waiting. Let’s start our family, nerd.”

Jungkook kissing your protests silent before you inevitably give in and let him take you right there and then, your wedding dress hung around your hips

Husband and wife coming together with shaky breaths and hushed moans as they promise the rest of their lives to each other, making every argument, struggle or moment of uncertainty leading up to now totally worth it

Walk of shame back into the party with nervous hair fixing from you and a proud grin from Jungkook

Yara figuring out exactly why you two had sneaked off to, flashing the newly weds a knowing smirk

The night of your wedding, Jungkook surprises you with a present

You unwrap it in confusion, only to see that it’s a glass frame and inside of it is the wrinkled and worn out lined paper the two of you had scribbled on many many years ago

Jungkook hangs up the contract right above your bed as per your request, smiling as he does and jumping on him the moment he puts down the hammer bc dammit it you’re too heckin excited to make love with your sentimental loser of a husband

And yes, by the next month, you are pregnant and incredibly happy

And of course, your daughter and Yara’s son grow up to be best friends, not a family holiday passing by where they aren’t told the story of the totally bitchin’ way both set of their parents got together

[badsext]

I wish you would write a Leon fic.. that's it. That's the message 😅

Scene Partners: Leon X Reader

Thank you for the request @misskittysmagicportal.  I love Leon.  I hope I’m doing him justice.

Summary: After Leon’s ill fated role as Neil Armstrong in the fake moon landing, he decided that fancy acting classes would be just the thing to launch (pun intended) his career as a serious actor.

Warning: Very irresponsible and spontaneous smut (Please use protection IRL) 18+ and suggested assault of a character within a play.  I hid the smut under the ‘read more’. These warnings make it sound heavier than it is...it’s actually super light and fun.

________________________________________________________

Johnny looked at Leon incredulously. “Where are you going at 10:00 AM on a Thursday morning?”

Leon looked his best mate in the eye and lied. “The pub, of course.”

In fact, this was the first day in months he wasn’t drunk or high...Alright, maybe just a toke or two to take the edge off. He even washed his hair and put on a turtleneck because that is what serious actors wore. Leon had lied and stumbled his way into a local university Theatre School, financing his tuition with a fraudulent cheque.

It was only an introductory scene workshop for beginners, but after watching the real Neil Armstrong walk on the Moon, Leon aspired to do great things. He arrived at the theatre more or less on time and with an inflated sense of purpose. It smelled like dust and leather and old wood. Framed photographs of former students lined the hallowed halls. Nervousness began to set in. He felt like an imposter, just like he did when Johnny had asked him to impersonate Stanley Kubrick some months ago. Accept this time, the only thing he had to impersonate was a man with confidence. After a brief internal struggle, Leon decided that he would go to the pub after all. There was always next Thursday.

As he reached for the door, a young woman had just entered, shaking the rain off her umbrella. Seeing how cute she was, Leon immediately changed course.

“Are you here for the workshop?,” she asked politely.

“Yes, I am,” he replied with a bashful smile. “I’m Leon.”

When she took off her coat, he saw how she wore a very similar black turtleneck.

“Y/N. Pleasure to meet you, Leon.” She paused, looking up from her cat eye glasses. “I think we might be late!,” she added urgently.  He followed her onto the workshop, sitting beside her in the back row of chairs. His interest in y/n distracted him from the enormity of the theatre and his growing stage fright.

The professor explained the warm up exercises, but Leon learned nothing. He was watching y/n chew on her fountain pen. They started with a series of vocalizations and deep breathing. Leon watched y/n’s chest and diaphragm expand and contract with each concentrated breath. Once she caught him staring, he would look up to the rafters or down at his shoes, thoughtfully scratching his beard. She smiled at his lack of subtlety.

The professor distributed scenes to the students at random. Leon looked down at his script. His stage fright resurfaced as he read the words at the top of the page. ‘Macbeth: Act 4, Scene 1.’ The ‘Second Witch’ part had been highlighted.

The students were given fifteen minutes to rehearse their scenes wherein Leon mumbled and stumbled through his lines. The actresses playing the other witches were good-natured about it, but everyone knew the scene would be shit.

He broke into a sweat as the actors were called to the stage.  His mind was nothing but static at that point.  He watched the actresses move their lips, hunched in crone-like fashion and wiggling their fingers over an imaginary cauldron.  They chanted in unison:

“Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.”

When they stopped, everyone looked at Leon.  This was his line.  The last ‘bubble’ just hung in the air while the silence took over.  He gave it his best effort, though his voice was weak and his hands were shaking.

“Fillet of a fanny snake,

In the cauldron boil and bake;

Eye of newt and toe of frog,

Wool of twat and tongue of hog.”

His hands shook with such force that he dropped the script.

“Oh, bollocks - It’s gone in the soup!”  He improvised rolling up his sleeve and fishing it out of the hot cauldron.

“Leon...Leon!”  It took the professor several tries to rouse him from his panic.  “That’s enough, Leon. We mustn't paraphrase Shakespeare.”  The students giggled.   The professor pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.  “Let’s try something else, shall we?”  

He turned and pulled two scripts from his briefcase, handing one to Leon.  “We need something to build your confidence.  You will play Stanley Kawalski.  He’s a proud, domineering brute.” He beat his chest for emphasis.  “And you...y/n, you will play Blanche, the jealous, simmering sexpot,” he said, casually handing her the other script.

“A Streetcar Named Desire?  Wasn’t that a film with Marlon Brando?,” Leon muttered nervously.

The professor put a hand on each of their backs.  “I’ll read the stage directions.  Don’t think, just use your instincts.”

Leon read the lines with as much bravado as he could muster. “I've been on to you from the start! Not once did you pull any wool over this boy's eyes! You come in here and sprinkle the place with powder and spray perfume and cover the light bulb with a paper lantern, and lo and behold the place has turned into Egypt and you are the Queen of the Nile! Sitting on your throne and swilling down my liquor! I say--Ha!--Ha! Do you hear me? Ha--Ha--ha!”

“Okay, now he walks into the bedroom.”

Y/N cried out a warning as Blanche, “Don't come in here!” 

“That was quite good,” Leon whispered, eliciting a small smile.

“Stanley goes into the bathroom and Blanche picks up the phone.”

Blanche: “Operator, operator! Give me long-distance, please.... I want to get in touch with Mr. Shep Huntleigh of Dallas. He's so well-known he doesn't require any address. Just ask anybody who--Wait! I--No, I couldn't find it right now.... Please understand, I--No! No, wait! ... One moment! Someone is--Nothing! Hold on, please!”  

Leon grinned out of character, so impressed by y/n’s acting.

“Blanch is going mad now, pacing back and forth.”

Blanche: “Operator! Operator! Never mind long-distance. Get Western Union. There isn't time to be--Western--Western Union!  Western Union? Yes! I--want to--Take down this message! "In desperate, desperate circumstances! Help me! Caught in a trap. Caught in--" Oh!

Stanley: “You left th' phone off th' hook.”

“Now he blocks her from the door.”

Blanche: “Let me--let me get by you!”

Stanley: “Get by me! Sure. Go ahead”

“But he only gives her an inch.”

Blanche: “You--you stand over there!”

Stanley: “You got plenty of room to walk by me now.”

Blanche: “Not with you there! But I've got to get out somehow!”

Stanley: “You think I'll interfere with you? Ha-ha!”

Blanche: “I warn you, don't, I'm in danger!”

“He takes another step and she smashes the bottle breaking it.”

Stanley: “What did you do that for?”

Blanche: “So I could twist the broken end in your face!”

Stanley: “I bet you would do that!”

Blanch: “I would! I will if you--”

Leon’s reading becomes increasingly stilted and awkward.  “Oh! So you want some rough-house! All right, let's have some rough-house!”

“He springs out at her.  She swipes the bottle at him, but he captures her wrist and overpowers her.”

The professor read the stage directions, but Leon wouldn’t move, delivering the next bit of dialogue with a sigh of regret.  “Tiger--tiger! Drop the bottle top! Drop it! We've had this date with each other from the beginning!”

“Overpower her, Leon.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t like to do that, Professor.”

“It’s acting, Leon...It’s pretend.”

“I don’t even want to pretend.  Stanley is horrid and I hate him.”

The professor rolled his eyes, disregarding Leon’s protest. Then he clapped his hands together addressing the other students.  “Okay, everybody, that’s it for today.  I want you off book by next week.”

The students started getting up from their chairs and shuffling their things.  Y/N approached Leon who was staring down at the stage with his arms folded.  He looked up anxiously as she leaned in to whisper in his ear.  Meet me in the ladies room in five minutes.

Leon was at first confused, then his eyes widened with surprise when he realized what she meant.  She laughed and swaggered away.

Y/N spotted Leon lurking by the door.  “Leon, that was three minutes, at most.  Luckily everybody left after class.  At least I think so,” she added with a cheeky grin.  “Come here.”  She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside the cubicle.  Do you want to shag?

Leon nodded his head. “Y-yes.”

“I liked what you did today,” she said, removing her knickers.  “It was very chivalrous of you.”

Y/N tilted her head and kissed him.  He inhaled at the contact of her lips.

She pulled back and looked him in his glistening green eyes.  “Go on then.”

“What ‘d ya mean?

“Fuck me, Leon.”

“Shouldn’t I, you know...foreplay?”

“Leon, I’m already soaked.  Get your cock out and fuck me.”

Leon quickly unbuckled his belt and let his trousers fall down around his ankles.  She turned with her back against the partition wall and one foot on the toilet seat.  He lifted her tartan skirt and drove up inside her, groaning at the tight wet sensation. She inhaled through her teeth, clutching  at his shoulders, then wrapping her arms around his neck.  Leon closed the gap between them, his pelvic bone at the base of his cock creating a throbbing pressure on her clit as he thrust.  The hard bouncing rhythm made her glasses fall askew.  She whimpered and moaned as the orgasm pulsed through her, overwhelming her senses.  

“Was that?...Did you?”

Her eyelids drooped peacefully.  “Um hm.”

He smiled, encouraged and continued thrusting.  His eyes shined like Christmas trees. She pet his curls, watching the pleasure wash over his face.

“I’m gonna…”

“Don’t stop, sweetie.”

He plowed into her, releasing his warm seed with a hearty grunt.

“Bravo, Leon,” she smirked.

@bubblyani @elliethesuperfruitlover @super-unpredictable98 @salvador-daley @helena-way07 @chipster-21 @punknatch @slutforrobbiebro

[veloxaraptor]

Long Time Coming

I’ve kept my mouth shut on this for a very long time. 

Last year I cut ties with an incredibly toxic player in the FFXIV community. Most of you know them as either Yosei Ittetsu or Vincent Arius.

Sometime around the end of September/beginning of October I ended a long running RP Ship with the player and quit his FC. This came after months of gas lighting, lying, manipulation, and just down right being used.

I’d spent some time getting to know them and their RL Partner so as to get the blessing to ship our characters together as Koa’s (the name the player goes by) partner didn’t feel comfortable with them shipping with anyone but themselves. 

I later learned that once I got the approval to ship with Koa, that they then went behind my back and their partner’s back and attempted to ship with other people under the guise of “I’ve been allowed to multi ship”. The timeline for that was around Mayish of 2019.

Throughout the tenure of our friendship and RP, Koa insisted OOCly that their partner was abusive and controlling. Something I have come to doubt. A partner feeling uncomfortable with their SO shipping/ERPing with other people isn’t all that uncommon or unreasonable. 

That being said, Koa would share screenshots with myself and others of fights they would have with their partner, carefully cropped to show certain parts of the fight that would cast their partner in the worst light. So naturally, we believed him.

So other friends and I agreed to help Koa ship/ERP in secret because we wanted to find a way to give them autonomy over themself. I regret this. Not only because it was incredibly disrespectful to a RL relationship, but because of the hurt it eventually caused other people later on.

This is going to get wordy, so please bear with me as I place the rest under a read me.

Koa and I agreed to a poly ship. One that would include myself, their RL partner’s character, and a third--my friend Noise. The agreement with the ship was that Tegah, Gan, and Noise would all be a “Table” poly setting and each could have extraneous partners if--and only if--we were comfortable with it OOC and our characters were comfortable with it IC. Meaning, there needed to be communication. This agreement extended only to the three as Koa stressed that they were only shipping with their RL partner to keep OOC peace and because they felt obligated to.

Very quickly things became very odd. I say that because often times Koa would wait until I needed to go to bed, and/or their RL partner would be at work (they worked nights) to initiate ship or ERP related RP. And if I was around for any of that RP, I was always shoved to the side and made to feel more like an accessory than an actual RP partner.

I tried several times to address this with Koa only to be gaslit and told that he was the one always feeling left out because he had to work around the confines of his “Abusive” RL partner and because Gan and Noise had a more in-depth story driven background with one another and knew each other better than Yosei and Noise knew each other.

My complaints would be invalidated and I’d always end up trying to help Koa find ways to solve their issues. Only for the circle to repeat itself.

Twice my character Gan found external partners. Both times I made sure going forward that both Koa and Noise were okay with it. And I was given their blessings. Both times, Koa attempted to insert their character into the relationship and sleep with the partner. The first one was successful. The second time not so much.

As time progressed, it became more and more clear that Koa’s main focus was drawing attention to themself and ERP. Mostly the latter if I’m being honest. Every time I turned around, I was learning of a new character that Yosei was gunning for and trying to sleep with. And it was always played off as a joke until it actually happened.

At some point one of the infatuations turned into another possible ship partner for the group. This is where Batu, one of my dearest friends comes in to the story. Koa had been selling Batu to Noise and I under the understanding that Batu was happy to simply be a fling/fuck buddy for the group. Meanwhile, he was selling to Batu the story that the group was looking for a 4th member. All the while neglecting to explain the truth to Batu as to how the ship worked despite him asking IC and OOC.

One very awkward night of RP where Gan brought over her side partner and Koa made many pointed comments about how we should all have an Orgy. (Which their RL partner asked about and Koa flat out lied to them). Batu learned how the ship worked on and IC and OOC level and had revealed that he’d been lied to the entire time. Or at the very least, misled.

So Batu decided to leave the group on an IC basis. Naturally, feelings were hurt OOC. And very much so IC as Gan and Batu had begun to fall for one another, and Noise and Batu were starting to grow close.

During this period of time, Batu ICly went to the Steppes to deal with the loss. Tegah/Yosei’s solution was to “fuck away the sad”. Because... yeah. 

At this time an FC member had their character go check on Batu and inform him of some RP stuff that had left Gan unwell. Batu returned and relationships were able to be repaired between Batu, Gan, and Noise. Batu expressed OOC that there was no desire to attempt with Koa again as he’d left feeling very used IC and OOC.

Naturally the characters did run into one another and it ended in conflict at which point Koa decided to metagame. He chose that moment to decide that it was his character that sent our FC member after Batu. There’d been no discussion over the course of the two weeks that all this had happened. Koa had just decided on the spot, something that was verified by the FC member.

When called out, Koa lied about meta-gaming. We even offered up logs to which he still lied and denied, saying they’d been talking about it for a while. Our FC member firmly refutes this and gave us logs to support. 

At that point, after months of being pushed to the side for other RP’s, gaslit regarding my issues, lied to, etc, I decided to end my RP partnership with Koa. I offered to stay around for the FC as I was the one running events and pushing for things to happen. But the day after that decision, Koa decided that we’d been leading the FC in the wrong direction (Despite being the one to tell us to go in that RP route) and that he wasn’t happy with how things were going.

Admittedly, I took this as a stab at me. Because I was the one running events, the one trying to keep things active for our FC members, and had suggested stepping back from Suisei Ramen the first time as there would be no way to balance it, FC RP, and personal RP all at once. It was then that I closed the book on all ties with Koa. I wanted nothing to do with them IC or OOC. He was immediately blocked from all my social media accounts and all websites I’d hosted on behalf of him and his FC were handed over.

This is where things become most important. Months after the fact, Koa openly admitted in a google doc he was spreading around in an attempt to defame me, that he’d been stalking my accounts either personally or through mutuals looking for anything he could use against me. 

I--in my naivety--had kept my mouth shut for the most part in the hopes that we could end things amicably and just move on. Almost a year later and I’m making this post because I’m still being harassed by Koa.

Since October of 2019, Koa has attempted to stir the pot time and again. Trying to oust me from RP communities. defame me, accuse me of plagiarism. (Most of this was while knowing I was heavily pregnant IRL and under a lot of stress) As recently as July 5, 2020, this person has been trying to cause issues. On the date mentioned, he attempted to insert himself into RP with Noise and I. Both of us have expressly stated we want nothing to do with him and want him to leave us alone and knowing that, still tried to put himself in our small group of RP.

Since leaving Koa, a lot of things have come to light. First and foremost, he was badmouthing me to my closest friends. Insisting I had an OOC affair going with a ship partner of mine. I’m married IRL. Koa knew this. And knowing this, attempted to spread that lie to push people away from me. Specifically, my friend Batu who was the one he told this to.

He blamed Batu’s IC/OOC departure on me, because I was uncomfortable with a concept he was trying to push for the second time. The concept being to have his character Yosei/Tegah gender swap to a woman and sleep with Gan’s partner. The first time it occurred was with a side relationship Gan had with another player. Koa wanted to have their character gender swap, sleep with Gan’s partner without the character knowing and possibly get pregnant. When asked about my opinion, I expressed that I wasn’t all that thrilled with it and that Gan would be angry/jealous. To which he insisted I was wrong and that Gan would find it funny.

The second instance was because Batu had more interest in Gan than Tegah/Yosei. At which point Koa decided it would be fun to try and force a race between his character and Gan as to who would have our ship partner Noise’s children first, knowing that there was a plot point set up for when that would inevitably happen. Again he adamantly stated that Gan wouldn’t be upset and find it funny, and that if she didn’t want it to happen she should just get pregnant back to back with each partner’s children. (At this time she was supposed to be pregnant with Yosei/Tegah’s baby. A fact that I later retconned.)

Koa continually went behind mine and all our ship partners backs to ERP with other characters. Ship with other characters. Shit talk me, and other people. When he’d be denied ERP, he’d turn and try to convince people that the person in question was actually after HIM for ERP and not the other way around.

Many people have come forward to me with information regarding his behavior. Unfortunately I don’t have permission to share their stories as they’ve asked to be left out of any public call outs. 

All I can safely share are these logs here

Koa/Yosei/Tegah/Vincent Arius is nothing more than a toxic individual obsessed with ERP, Attention, and playing victim as much as possible. Almost a year later and he is still harassing me, blaming me when things go wrong, defaming, and causing me drama. I’ve had enough. If even ONE person finds comfort in knowing they aren’t the only one he’s caused problems for, then it’ll be worth it.

And as always, I’m more than happy to answer any questions regarding this post that people might have. I’d love to share more logs and screencaps, but I do respect people’s privacy and I still don’t want to shit on their RL relationship any more than revealing this stuff will do.

[jthebeauty]

Jeeeeeeen! I saw that you said you were one the ace spectrum and I’m curious as to how you realize that? I’m questioning my own sexuality rn and a lot of info online is confusing to me LOL. You dont have to answer if you aren’t comfortable tho ofc!

hey nonnie :) ofc we can talk about it! i’m more than comfortable with sharing my story & experience. <3

cw: first kiss, kissing in general, sex talk, sti mention, children mentions, relationships. long post ahead.

growing up, i always naturally admired the romantic aspects in a relationship.

things like dates, breakfast-in-bed, writing love letters, holding hands, cooking meals together, taking silly photos together, (and all that other sappy stuff) really shaped what i desire in a relationship. fun fact; ever since i was 8 or so, i knew i wanted to spend my honeymoon in paris, france (the city of love they call it 😌).

i need to go back into my past a lil’ so you can see where i’m coming from & where it started. 😬 sorry if you get a lil’ uncomfy. 😭🙏🏽

so. i had my first kiss in kindergarten with a handsome guy; a handsome guy who i’d probably still be nervous around as adults. idk, i haven’t seen him in person since i was 14. anyways, i was five years old at the time & the memory of our kiss still runs in my mind here n there.

we liked each other again in grade 6 & we communicated via sticky notes (bc we couldn’t talk during the lesson). 😭 but yeah, he cared a lot about my feelings & always knew when something was up. he’d rub me on the back & talk with me to make me feel better— he was genuinely a sweetheart.

so at 11 years old, due to my “kiddy crush/relationship” experiences with that guy, i viewed relationships as something cute & romantic.

sex was never really on my mind throughout middle school unless it concerned p.e. (physical education). but if anything, p.e. most likely contributed to how i am today. in health class, we talked about sti’s n stuff & i just remember being like umm… if i were to have sex, it’d have to be with someone i know really well & trust. i still feel this way today.

all of that wasn’t planned though, that’s just how it naturally was in my mind— even with peers constantly discussing who did what with who and where around me. sex talk (& rumours of that kind of stuff) were always around me, yet it never interested me or sparked curiosity within me.

i didn’t know for sure that i was on the ace spectrum till high school.

i started speculating when i was about 15 or so (after i had kissed my best friend romantically… more than once). i was able to confirm this once i had my first serious relationship at 16– borderline 17.

i was always excited for the romantic stuff like dates, texting good morning/night messages, even taking polaroid pictures together (once again, sex or anything beyond kissing wasn’t really on my mind for some reason). we even used to call each other practically every day once school ended & we parted ways. real sappy stuff lol.

i also need to add that we didn’t date until we had known each other (as friends) for a good 9-10 months. i knew of my ex since grade 9, but we didn’t become friends until grade 10.

my ex isn’t the first person i have kissed romantically, but they were another person who i had kissed after having some sort of close friendship with (or else it wouldn’t have happened to begin with).

in conclusion, i was in a +2.5 year relationship with my ex. i take relationships seriously, as i’m not one to do flings, one-night stands, situationships, or hook-ups/sneaky links. they don’t interest me one bit & i honestly kinda forget those kind of things exist (i think mainly bc of the pandemic & i’m under the assumption that people aren’t going out as often as they used to).

looking over everything that i can recall from my life, i lowkey consider myself a hopeless romantic LOL. i often read erotic romance novels that revolve around forbidden romance, enemies-to-lovers & stuff of that nature. i was (& still am) obsessed with romance.

i can experience sexual attraction, i’m not completely disinterested in the idea of sex. i want to have kids one day & get married— it’s just a matter of who.

i came to the conclusion that i strongly identify as demisexual & graysexual. i bounce between the two bc i really can’t just pick one. and it’s more than okay if you find yourself in this situation too— you don’t have to pick one & stick to it.

when my ex & i were together, i did experience sexual attraction (bc we had an emotional connection/bond + romantic feelings), but the more we got settled into our relationship, the less those sexual feelings would pass in my mind. i’m the kind of lover that shows my love & affection by cuddling, talking, or helping my partner— stuff of that nature.

for me it was just a matter of thinking “would i do this with a stranger just because they’re attractive?” or “would i do a fwb situation with ____?” and the answer to those kind of questions would be no. i’m just not interested or appealed by the idea of doing things like that with someone who i’m not romantically AND emotionally involved with. the only way we’re doing that, is if we’re mutually romantically AND emotionally involved with each other.

i guess you could say that sex is something “special” to me as well. i just seriously can’t do it with anyone— not even if i find them attractive, it takes so much more than that. but on the other hand, i’m just more of a romantic person anyways.

irl sex is never really at the forefront of my mind & if it is, it’s gone within a few seconds of reflecting on it. in fact, i kind of cringe thinking on past sexual incidents with my ex… like my brain just won’t allow me to reminisce about them & i’m actually glad bc i just don’t feel like purposefully thinking about irl sex anyways. 😭

sorry for the long post! i just really wanted to be transparent with you. but the above is mainly why i see myself on the ace spectrum. it took me a good 4-5 years to come this realization, so i really do feel you nonnie.

if there’s anything you wanna know further, feel free to swing on by again or message me on discord (if you have me there). i really do wish you all the best in navigating your sexuality, it seriously can be reallyyy confusing (especially with the internet as you said).

sending kisses to you my love. take care. 😚❤️

[taetaespeaches]

hi Liv! oh my gosh i'm sorry that it has taken me forever to get back you! i finally got caught up on all of your fics, and i know that i have said this before but i love your writing so so much! everything is always so well written and i really love how you put so much thought and effort into it. you always seem to take traits that the boys have irl and incorporate them into the fics, as well as portraying what an actual relationship looks like - having both ups and downs.

Jin and Poopsie are an absolute breath of fresh air. they both have that chaotic energy to them that Jin himself exudes. i also love how they were best friends before they actually got together. my most favorite fic from these two definitely has to be "I still choose you every single day" where Jin told her "I just don't want to contribute to anything negative in your life, that's not what a partner should do." LIKE UGH🥺 he is just absolutely perfect in every way possible!!

Min and Kid are just two precious babies. 😭 they're one in the same. while reading their story up to now i had this thought in the back of my head that maybe that they were so hesitant at first to get close to each other was because they'd possibly been hurt before in the past, and just had some kind of wall built up from the particular experience? i feel like i have read the "I know it's 4 am but it's snowing" fic almost a thousand times. the whole time i was just like 🥺 they gradually became more comfortable with each other and were more open to talk about a lot of different things; it's so refreshing and warm to see! they are 100% my faves!

next to Min and Kid, Jimin and Dear are my second faves! for some reason the two relationships feel the same to me and have similar dynamics but with just different people and different situations. they both have definitely had their rough patches but they were able to work through them and come out stronger and better than ever. the reason why they remind me of each other a lot aside from that is because of Jimin and Dear's breakup; it reminded me of how before Min and Kid made things 100% official, there was a point in tine where Yoongi had to go to Japan and when he got back he went to see Kid. they had that argument and Kid said "you know that I would ruin myself over and over again for you." they are both willing to whatever it takes to be with each other, and even though the girl wanted them both Jimin and Yoongi felt like they weren't enough for them?

Namjoon and Daisy are so fond of each other that it's so adorable. i remember in the post where you gave facts about the girls you mentioned that Daisy can't cook but is learning, sings in the shower, has a fashion sense, and is intimidating but soft; it's like she is the girl version of Namjoon in some way. in my head i can definitely imagine the two of them coordinating outfits, going on long walks together, giving each other help and tips while cooking. i can also see them just doing simple little things like more museum dates, picnics in a park, hiking together, reading together, playing games together on rainy days in. they level each other out well!

Jungkook, Hobi, and Tae's relationships also strike me as being a little similar because it's like they both just have a love that's purely innocent. they have their ups and downs to but majority of everything that comes from them is wholesome.

(i hope you are doing well and staying safe love!!❤❤)

Omg don’t apologize, you’re totally fine! I’m so glad you enjoy the fics, that makes me really happy! Min and Kid are just a little special lol they are overwhelmingly the favs on here and rightfully so haha. I agree, there are certain couples that definitely share similar origins/have similar dynamics. I would even group Daisy and Joon into the Min/Kid and Jimin/Dear group bc of Daisy’s fears and hesitations early on. Those three are all really fun couples to write because of the growth they’ve made since their hard times. 

Jin and Poopsie lmao I personally relate to Jin a lot so writing for them is so fun because I get to let all my chaotic strangeness out on them. I do that with Tae and Peaches a little bit too and it’s always a good time lmao. 

Omg I’m actually planning a fic where Daisy is giving Joon cooking lessons, even though she’s far from a pro herself. They really are kind of mirrors of each other :( 

I agree, Jungkook/Holly, Hobi/Petal, and Tae/Peaches all maintain this kind of wholesome/innocent/besties within the domestic sphere vibe. They never have too many conflicts and when they do they can easily work through them and forgive and move on. There’s just a lot of mutual understanding between these three couples. They’re so sweet :( I swear, everyone deserves the Petal to their Hobi or vice versa and that’s that on that. 

Thank you for sending this, I love hearing your guys’ thoughts on the couples and it means a lot that you took the time to type all of this up <3 

[scholarhect]

2 3 15 babey

HI BRO ILY

2. what’s your taco bell order

crunchwrap supreme. maybe a burrito, idk. i had a bean burrito today but i thought it was gross. plus the red freezy thing (starburst flavored, i think). except today i had baja blast and it was pretty good

i want you to know that this question is the entire reason i made this post. this was the germ, the mustard seed. “ask game: what’s your taco bell order”. and the rest was history

3. tell me about that one thing you wish someone would ask you about

(spoilers for tma if anybody’s gonna listen someday, i guess. literally major spoilers for seasons 1-4. turns out i don’t know how to shut up. thanks for indulging me)

okay. okay i’m gonna talk to you specifically. listen to me, i am talking directly into your ear now. i wish for the opportunity to tell you about ms melanie king. you’ve already heard about her as the inspiration for my haircut and also my fishnet outfit from that time i dragged you to that thrift thing, but she is such an icon. first of all she’s a YOUTUBER. (not like a vlogger, i guess, she hosts a show on youtube. but a youtuber nonetheless.) she hunts GHOSTS. on YOUTUBE. so, she shows up at The Magnus Institute, London, to tell them about that time she saw a ghost (but it was like ... a weird ghost. not a normal ghost. you know). immediately she insults the guy’s shitty old tape recorder that she is expected to speak into, in the year 2016. so they get snippy with each other and end up in a full-blown “The Girls Are Fightinggg” passive aggressive argument because they both view each other as pathetic, fake, not-respectable paranormal investigators. (and they both have A Thing about being respected & taken seriously.) like it turns out that the institute has a fucking laughable reputation in The Academic Community because they’ll just take a statement from anybody about their supposed supernatural experience. meanwhile jon thinks the people on ghost hunt shows are charlatans because their goal is entertainment and, yes, they “do ham it up a bit for the cameras.” ANYWAY. she’s all dragging the magnus institute and he’s like. “but you’re here.” it’s very funny. turns out she can’t tell the Serious Academic Community about her experience because it’s so wild that they’d laugh her out of her career. so she’s here. so she’s got no choice but to tell her story. so the episode continues, and ends, okay, and you’re like, “wow that was a fun and iconic one-off character. right?” WRONG.

season two... she’s BACK baby! after her experience at the military hospital, she wants to do research on War Ghosts, but the magnus institute wouldn’t let her in bc she didn’t have the Academic Clout for it, so the only way is to get an employee to vouch for her. so. she goes to jon like “please you’re the only friend i have here i need help” and they DO fight again but he does agree to help her (because they’re the same person. they are *spiderman pointing meme*). so, later, she’s back. she did some research on War Ghosts and broke into an old train graveyard (which is a thing apparently) and got stabbed by the ghost of an army medic and she got caught and arrested and she was screaming about how She Got Stabbed By A Ghost and somebody took a video and posted it online and then she BECAME A MEME for a couple days and nobody wanted to associate with her anymore. rip. but now she likes jon and she’s here to say goodbye (because she’s going to india) (she also sets off the climax of the season because she just happens to be that one person who can see that the monster pretending to be a major character is not, in fact, that character. she’s like “oh, which sasha? the new one? or the old one?” and jon’s like “what the fuck” and she’s like “there’s definitely two sashas. are you trying to gaslight me.” but whatever)

ok this is literally less than half her arc (i’ve covered. three episodes.) but this is long as fuck so i’ll wrap it up. “what a cool reoccurring character,” you may think! “i hope i get to see more of her!” well GUESS WHAT. she comes back from india (she’s been SHOT BY A GHOST) she wants to talk to jon but he’s not there (he was unfortunately in very close proximity to a murder and he’s on the run so he doesn’t get framed. double traumatic experience, very fun. anyway he’s staying at melanie’s friend’s house, whom she has conveniently namedropped a couple times so far (in the last episode she was like “she actually has nice things to say about you, why didn’t you tell me you knew her” and he’s like “we didn’t part on the best of terms”) because she is his ex-girlfriend, so, though he literally was just pretending that he didn’t know her, he now knows that she doesn’t hate him so he shows up at her place and she hides him from the cops because she’s literally the only person he knows outside work. but this isn’t about him.) so melanie has no job so elias is like “you want a job” and she’s like “sure?” so now she’s an archival assistant at the magnus institute (i realized i had to explain that. i don’t think you even know who elias is. head of the institute, everybody’s secretly evil boss, currently lowkey framing jon for the murder he committed. but lowkey) her coworkers don’t want her there because they’ve realized that their job is evil and they Physically Cannot Quit so they’re like “great now she’s stuck here too” but she doesn’t know that so she’s just like “why does everybody hate me. are you misogynists” because her Disrespect Alarm is going off in her head. and then they have a Department Meeting where jon comes back with an open knife wound on his neck and demands elias tell everyone about the TWO murders and then there’s a standoff situation where somebody wants to shoot elias but he’s “knife cat”ing at her and very dramatically forces her codependent friend slash partner (in the cop way not the gay way) to sign a contract as an archival assistant so that daisy (the cop with the gun) can’t hurt elias because, oh yeah, if he dies supposedly they all do too. so melanie is ... thoroughly disillusioned. and she becomes sullen, too, kind of. and she begins to try to murder elias. queen

things get worse (in a supernatural way. she gets Angry Knife Powers. there’s a Ghost Bullet from India lodged in her leg pumping murderous energy through her body and while she’s asleep jon removes it, it’s all very terrible.) but then she starts going to therapy because she wants to get better and she ends up making the difficult journey to Being Okay. (she also literally blinds herself to escape the institute, and that doesn’t really sound analogous to therapy out of context but it is, okay) and her arc is over and she’s the only character in the story who is currently Okay. we’re proud of her. her last appearance (so far. who knows what s5 has in store. hopefully not much) jon, who is in some deeeeep shit by this point, shows up asking for help, and she’s like “i can’t help you bc i can’t get dragged back into all that, but you’re always welcome in my life as a friend” which is not great for him at that point because he is kind of having a breakdown, but it’s still <3. much better than the beginning part of s4 when she wanted to kill him on sight. also she’s dating jon’s ex now lol

15. if somebody irl you didn’t know asked you how you feel about mcr what would you say (this question isn’t quite asking you how you feel about mcr, but it’s not not asking that)

i’d be like “yeah they’re pretty cool. i like them”

[system-of-a-feather]

I should sleep but instead I’ll share a bit more about myself

Sleep is for loosers anyways jk for real sleep is important to your mental health you really should try to get decent sleep if you can

Anyways, I had asked about it earlier cause I was reminiscing back to the old days a bit so I figured I would just go on an old man’s tales of the old days. Don’t worry this shouldn’t have much of any potentially triggering content. Its just kinda a look back on where I started and where I’ve come since I split off or at least a bit of a general one. So if you like, grab some marshmellows, pick up some chocolate and lets enjoy some smores by the fire. (Keep reading below if interested; ps its kinda really long XD)

Honestly, its been mentioned a bit around here that I am, in fact, not the original host of the system and while I have taken very strongly to my role as host and my system has come to respect me (at least for the most part) as the host and “leader / commander” in the alternative role descriptions our system likes to use from time to time, I honestly have only been in this role for like... the past three or so years of the like... ten or twelve (depends on if you count when I split off or when I actually began interacting actively with the world) years.

Like for some background, I split off originally in order to help the previous host and trauma holder (who weren’t in communication) handle and adjust to life while we moved schools twice in a single year. From what I know prior to my split, our system was very dependent on hanging out with our friends as a way to keep trauma from surfacing to the host or something similar to that and the host before I split off was a bit of a shy child. My family made a really bad decision with a move that sent everyone in my family into various bad mental states and to cut the unpleasant info out of it, the host at the time couldn’t handle or adapt to the new school that had a horrifically different atmosphere from our old one. None of the ways she was able to have fun or connect with others were capable and with a even worse condition house and a lack of friends, it essentially caused two splits. One was Lucille and one was me, almost around the same time for similar, related, but different reasons.

For me, I know my main role was to be able to make friends, maintain friends, and to make sure school life wasn’t a problem and that we could constantly have someone to be around when we were younger. Back in the day my main job was to be charismatic, make friends, and create stable and sturdy social connections with everyone so that one of the largest important coping mechanisms could be saved.

Admittedly though, even though I did fill the role needed and did create wonderful webs of connections and friends, even though I did make friends by taking outcasts of each school I went to in order to make stable relationships, honestly a mix of our family’s toxicity and a lot of bad luck with friends moving made it so few friendships lasted more than a year. It made it rather hard for anyone to hold host and I believe for the longest many years no one was a consistent host - something that was considerably concerning given we wouldn’t start communicating or being actively aware of each other for another six years.

Anyways, a lot of the repetitive failures honestly made me loose a bit of faith in people and humanity for a few years and I kind of retreated to online where I became an edgelord and went under the idea of “I really don’t care about the real world and my real life anyways, we aren’t gonna live that long anyways and my life will figure itself out” and engrossed myself solely into being an “online social” personality for a long while from the ages of like twelve until like... sixteen. 

It was honestly a mistake I suppose as me abandoning the real life wasn’t abandoning my life like I thought it was as much as it turned out I was abandoning an important duty in a system I didn’t know I was part of and such action not only led me into being put into a lot of abusive relationships with online people, but also left our life horrifically unnurtured, barren and dry. During the time I popped in from time to time to help with club activities, but for the most part managing our real life was left to Aderis (who scared everyone away out of defense), Lucille (pre-integrated being an introverted know it all), and a trauma holder that avoided everyone. Our club life flourished and we had a group of friends in our band activities as it was the only part of the real world I would end up being out in and caring about enough to foster, but outside of that our life was barren. Sometime in that period, Aderis had made contact with me and everyone vaguely got to know each other, but considering a lot of denial and other abuse and trauma was going on then, we never properly established an understanding of DID or our system or even full recognition of each other - or at least I didn’t.

In a sorts, it lead to the point where apparently the trauma holder that was vaguely taking host was getting so sick of existing and was so envious of the beautiful life I was hosting online that it became a huge problem that apparently was the driving force to get us into therapy. I don’t really know too much of the specifics but it had caused a massive internal war over if we should destroy my online life as to force me to actually come back and try to help fix the mess our real life was at, or if we should just give up on having a real life and foster in the one I was building online. It was a internal conflict that actually had Lucille and I worried that it might end up to self harm or rash decisions and it was enough to get us to push for therapy which we eventually got.

Through the first few months of therapy it was noted by a not-dissociation specialist that what I was going through sounded a lot like DID but that wasn’t addressed further than him attempting to integrate what he identified to be “the online personality” and the “offline personality” by bringing someone who can bridge the two worlds and assist in integrating the two parts. Of course, being he wasn’t a professional in DID or dissociation, it didn’t quite work out properly, but it did get me actually focused on our real life a bit more. I was put in a position where I had to try to transfer what I did online to the real world and I did so by bringing a somewhat trusted individual into communication with me online. 

At that point I had kind of forgotten how to be super charismatic irl and so I kept a lot of the more personal conversations online and rather than bridging me and the semi-host (as we didn’t really have a host), it rather got me somewhat interested in the real world again - or at least gave me something beyond my online world that meant something to me. I fostered a strong relationship with this individual and I took it upon myself to try to keep this relationship working as it was the first time in ages that someone in the real not-online world that seemed to intend to stay around us and it gave me some hope to my otherwise jaded view on the world.

It was honestly a lot of work being in therapy and trying to find this middle ground of managing online and offline and trying to get both domains to work in our system’s life, especially when I took the initiative to consider dating that person that really seemed to stick around and have enough faith and patience with me and our system to work with us, especially since the system wasn’t entirely on board, and especially sicne even then, we had no clearly defined host.

A lot of back and forth happened, a lot of alters trying to sabotage each other, a lot of really poor mental health and poor adjustment, and then two or three things too many happened and the trauma holder that was semi-host seemed to fall entirely dormant leaving the host position completely open and with the system a bit shook.

In a sense, due to the fact that Aderis was going through things at the time, Lucille was insecure on his existence, and the other active known member was a child, I was kind of kicked out to fill the role - especially considering the person we were in a relationship was considered to be my partner and my decision and my responsibility at the time. Plus, of all the alters in the pool that could have picked up host at the time, the most socially capable for managing a life was of course the alter that was MADE to be social and to create friendships and reach out to individuals.

I suppose in a sense it was natural that I was the one that got kicked out. Honestly, I don’t see myself to be as socially capable or charismatic as I am told I am and honestly I personally struggle a lot from time to time with friendships and relationships due to a lot of the personal things I as Riku have been through and how being online almost exclusively for three or four years messed with my understanding of social rules and interactions and all that, but honestly, it was generally at that moment that the system kinda just forced me to handle a heccin lot.

And like... talking about adjusting from being an alter formed primarily to establish and maintain friendships to being the host and person in charge of a lot in the system, I could go on about that on its own for ages. It is honestly something I both gripe and grumble and am really critical on myself for not doing “good enough” but it is also something I am pretty proud to say I feel I have been managing pretty good all things considered.

I do wonder how the trauma holder that stood in as a kinda-host after the original host refused to be host is doing, and I really hope she is alright and I honestly know she isn’t but I hope one of these days I can build this life to be healthy enough, stable enough, and safe enough that she can come out of dormancy and recover as she deserves to. 

Currently, she is honestly in a really unstable state to the point keeping her dormant is one of the highest priorities of our system as she is honestly really dangerous to us and we aren’t in an environment that can support and safely provide a place for her to recover, so honestly, if nothing else, I hope that one of these days I can make this life a life she can be safe in.

I do deal with some of the thoughts of “I stole this life from an individual” or at least I used to struggle with them a lot, but I like to think of it more as me saving and rescuing this life for someone who couldn’t handle it anymore. 

And in the end, we are all the same individual. We are all working towards the same thing, and if there is anything I can do with the honor it is to be the host of the system and to get this much time out and to have this much direction over how we drive this life, I want to make my system happy and safe.

I dunno. Its just some sentimental thinking I was going on about to myself before since I was thinking back to when I was a protector and when all I had to worry about were social issues and picking the most reliable trust worthy people to add to our lives and replacing them as fast as possible when they left to maintain stability. Back when all I cared about and had to worry about was building social circles, and now I gotta do that among all sorts of other things.

It was a simpler time, but I am happy of where I am now. I suppose when I was “just a social protector” one of the largest hobbies I had was finding people that were less fortunate, rejected by the cliquey social groups of our school, and creating a bit of a safe place and a friend to have so they wouldn’t be lonely, and from time to time I would get them involved with other more popular individuals and it was great to watch them grow and succeed socially after being the social rejects for being blind or “fat” or awkward or shy. When I went online, I took a strong liking to helping people out and helping people feel a little better about themselves and letting people have a person they can talk to.

I suppose upon becoming a host, I just expanded my external duty inward and now I have a team that I love dearly that I want to make happy and to give them the best life possible.

I suppose in a sense, even as a host, I still strongly come from my roots as a social protector and thats nice to think about from time to time.

Anyways, thanks for joining me at my campfire and roasting some marshmellows. I dunno if any of you guys got anything of substance from my old man stories reflecting on my old duties and how thats changed some over time, but thanks for listening in.

-Riku (Host)

[pickupafteryourselves]

So, the very first time I heard (read, somewhere, surely on tumblr) "Darren Criss and Chris Colfer are dating irl" my reaction was to get ridiculously excited and click on that link that would show me this piece of news.

After all, we all like it when two people we love separately come together in any form, right?

(And after all, Darren having said he was straight in his first Glee interviews, as he was constantly asked due to playing one of the main gay characters and being a newcomer, it didn't have to mean anything. People are closeted in Hollywood all the time, they come out, etc. It does happen. I thought Darren might have made some sort of revelation.)

So I cliked and I clicked some more and quickly found that there was no piece of news, but rather a suspicion and a collection of evidence.

Not an actual announcement, my excitement settled down, but I did go look at the evidence, as celebrity couples often let themselves be seen as a couple without any sort of official statement.

The evidence (those very same masterposts we've all seen everywhere) was, well... underwhelming to say the least. Mildly disturbing at times. The fact that people would take often stereotypical behaviours and label them as obviously gay made me roll my eyes hard. Tinhats love gender roles across the board.

Somewhat disppointed, I discarded the idea of them together being real and moved on. Eventually they two were seen with their actual partners and Darren kept being asked about his sexuality to the point of answering sarcastically ("A straight actor playing a gay character! I know! Unheard of! Amazing!" - or something to that effect).

So-called evidence kept cropping up.

Still all incredibly underwhelming.

By this point, it was no longer just a fun theory or hope. By this point, those who took those flimsy bits of proof, fed their confirmation bias with them and started to live by them as if it were a religion had begun acting rudely not only towards the rest of the fandom, but to Darren and Chris themselves.

It's been years and while some have moved on due to the lack of base the actual theory has, a few remain, nasty as ever and still clinging to weak "evidence" for which they have to do all the mental gymnastics and overanalyze every little detail of normal human behaviour, such as this:

This is all they get to riot over these days as Glee is no longer on the air. This is the kind of ridiculous event that motivates their bullying. They see something as ordinary and mundane such as that picture and think it grants them leave to be horrible to the people in it.

[slipmethevicxdin]

i wanna talk about something thats been on my mind and has been affecting me pretty heavily lately. im only okay with talking about this because not many irl’s follow me and i think im okay with the ones that do knowing about it, and tumblr has been my venting place for many years. and shit, this is gonna be so long that i’d be surprised if anyone actually read the whole thing, and i’ll most likely delete this. but here we go

so i guess i’ll start with the fact that i’ve always made the majority of my friends - and my closest friends - through the internet. so i follow, add and communicate with people i dont personally know because that’s how ive met almost all of my closest friends. 

i met someone through facebook that is an alumnus of the organization i was/am in. this happened when i was 18, had just ended my first relationship of 5 years, and in all honesty, desperately needed someone to lean on. i believe he reached out to me first. he was 5 years older than me, and i’ve honestly always been intimidated by age differences, in the form of submission, if that makes any sense. we talked almost everyday, not about anything significant but i’ve always been someone who falls really hard, really fast, even(/especially) without reciprocation. i’m also horrendous at reading people when it comes to intimacy/affection. and even though this guy was 5 years older than me, had also previously been in a long term relationship (which is usually a clear indicator that they’re most likely not looking for another relationship any time soon) and never actually showed any sign of interest past friendship in me, i was fucking swoon.

we eventually ended up going to see a movie, and even though he clearly said when he asked me, “not like a date or anything”, i still saw it that way, because yes, that’s how i was at the age of 18. i never got to experience dates or first times other than the ones i experienced with my ex so i was horrible at them, and he could tell. i think he could tell a lot about how naive and inexperienced i was in a lot of things and took advantage of it.

shortly after that, he asked if i wanted to “hang out” one night. an important thing to note here is that he worked in a place that had him working graveyard shifts, so there’s only two times i’ve seen him that weren't at night. another important thing to note is that as obvious as it may seem to any other person, because i’d only been with my ex at this point, i didn’t know that there’s normally only one reason that someone wants to “hang out” so late. but in my defense, he told me that maybe we could “go to the beach or something.” i also didn’t have a car yet at this time so he picked me up. when i got in his car and he started driving, he asked what i wanted to do and i said i was okay with whatever he wanted to do. so he said we could hang out at his place. i don’t think i need to further explain what happened, but it wasn’t non-consensual. i didn’t know exactly how to handle what was happening but i didn’t say no. 

i think this happened a few more times, one of which he was clear with why he wanted me over and i agreed. i was under the impression that we were in some sort of “relationship”, because i didn’t know at this point that sex and feelings could be mutually exclusive. but eventually he would stop talking to me days at a time until i realized he had no feelings invested in me. i eventually let it go but continued to look up to him sort of as a friend, but mostly as someone to go to when i needed guidance or advice because i was never able to disconnect from the thought of being submissive to him. a slightly insignificant part of that is that i am normally very adamant about paying for and in general taking care of myself in any situation but when he’d refuse to let me pay for anything i went along with it because of the way i saw him. he’d kinda painted himself as someone who would take care of me, in a sense. or maybe that was just part of how i perceived things. but anyways; 

anytime we would actually hang out after this, things always took a turn in ways i wasn’t comfortable with. he would grab me by the neck and claim it to be “playful”, put his hands through my hair and pull it as he put his face uncomfortably close to mine, hold me down, etc. even though i was uncomfortable, i still at that point was unable to see what was wrong with that because of the way i had grown to know our “relationship”.

there were times where, when we would hang out - outside of his house - we would hold hands and at that point i’d seen it as platonic, since i’d platonically held hands with a few friends other than him. once at a school/organization event we’d walked around holding hands and i didn’t think much of it. he brought me in and held me, and at that point i was beginning to grow uncomfortable because i was/am in a relationship. i pulled away but he did this a few more times.

later on in the night he’d walked me to my car but we were quite a distance away from his, so i gave him a ride back to his car. i got out to give him a hug before leaving but he kept me there for a while. he did his usual bit of pulling my hair and grabbing my neck, and smacked my ass a few times. i told him to stop multiple times but he didn’t take me seriously. eventually i was able to leave after hugging him and him holding me for an uncomfortably long amount of time. i later told my boyfriend and he didn’t have much of a response other than “okay” and “thanks for telling me”. i don’t think he knew how to handle the situation or if it needed handling. i don’t really hold that against him.

the last time i’d hung out with him was a typical instance of “let’s hang out tonight”. i should have said no. he picked me up, and we ended up at his house, which was the first time since we’d last slept together. the familiar routine of taking shoes off in the garage, walking up the stairs in the dark, and walking into his room already made me uncomfortable. but he knew i was in a relationship. i’d talked about my partner all the time with him. i didn’t think i had to worry about being pushed into anything. 

i struggled to keep the conversation going so that there wasn’t time for awkward silence. no time for him to get too close. but still, he’d grab me by the throat. still pull my hair. got on top of me. i was uncomfortable. started grinding against me. i was extremely uncomfortable. trying to make it clear that i was uncomfortable and wanted him off of me, said “are you trying to rub your dick on me?” he got off. but he got back on top of me not too long after, joking about how he was “rubbing his dick on me”. i tried to move. he eventually got off. but he started touching me. there. i moved his hand. i said it was time to go home. he did it again. i moved his hand, again. told him to stop. he grabbed my arm and did it again. then reached over and turned off the light. i told him to stop. he got on top of me. i said no. i said i didn’t want to have sex. he said he just wanted to make me cum.

it didn’t go as far as sex. but it was still painful. i was sore and swollen for maybe two days after. after a few days i was able to talk about it with my boyfriend. i felt like it was my fault. i honestly still do. i shouldn’t have went. i shouldn’t have continued to trust him after how many times i felt uncomfortable. but i did. my boyfriend didn’t blame me. he asked me if i had any intention of pressing charges, or at the very least, telling my dad. hell no, i didn’t. that would ruin his fucking life. but why do i feel that way if it’s not supposed to be my fault?

this thanksgiving i’ll be in new york, marching in the macy’s thanksgiving day parade. i’d asked him before all this happened if he’d go on the trip, and eventually talked him into it. i thought after not talking to him for 3 months, he would have dropped out, but he didn’t. i considered dropping out of the trip. at this point, i’m no longer having fun. the only reason i’m still going is because my entire family knows i’ll be there, as well as all my parent’s friends they’ve told. to make it easier on myself i switched from playing first part to second, to avoid having to be next to him since i assumed that he’d be on first. our director put him on second. he now stands next to me at rehearsals. 

i was told that i should inform the staff of what happened and get him removed from the trip, but i cant bring myself to do it. it’s embarrassing. i’d also be ruining his reputation with the organization. most likely asked why i didn’t report it. or even worse, be told that nothing can be done, which i’d expect to be the most likely outcome. 

i have no intention of continuing a friendship with him, but i’m civil with him when i have to be. and it’s weird. i don’t like it but i feel like of all the things i should’ve done, i didn’t and put myself in this position, leaving me with no valid reason to complain. 

i just needed to vent, because i haven’t said any of this from start to finish and reflecting on it i see how i was groomed but never had the common sense to know when to walk the fuck away. i honestly did this to myself.

[alien-bodies]

Oversharing Time!!!

(i just made that title up that’s not the official title I’m just Like That)

Ok so @frogyell​ tagged my main account (I am BLEST) but that’s for Refined Star Trek Content and this one’s for excellent moodboard content and garbage so here’s the garbage!!! I’m putting it under a cut bc it manipulates your brain to want to read through 85 fuckin facts about me more wow I love science

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: Water! off to a great start

2. last phone call: my local Hot Topic. I feel like I should also mention I work there. But if you don’t know that and steal my phone you’ll see I have a contact named Hot Topic

3. last text message: Google sent me a verification code, but the last one I sent was to my brother it says “k”

4. last song you listened to: It’s called The Horror Of Your Love by Ludo, if I had to delete all but one song on my 121-song Best Enemies playlist I’d keep this one it’s Peak and kinda has vore but it’s metaphorical. metavoreical, if you will

5. time you cried: during my latest EMDR sesh! I was in Wales and everything it was a Lot I got ice cream after

6. dated someone twice? Big No

7. kissed someone and regretted it? Not really?

8. been cheated on? my ex had 16 anime dating sims downloaded at one point while we were dating does that count

9. lost someone special? yea

10. been depressed? hella

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve been drunk 1 time and it was when I was playing English handbells at my dad’s church’s wassail night but I did not throw up no

fave colors

12. Black

13. Lavendar

14. Light blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? Hell Yell!!

16. fallen out of love? k i n d a ? ?

17. laughed until you cried? oh absolutely

18. found out someone was talking about you? OH BOY YUP YUP

19. met someone who changed you? yes! she managed to physically alter my hippocampus without touching it how fuckign whack is that

20. found out who your friends are? It’s always the same miraculous group chat

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? sure have

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? I keep it nice and refined so all of them. My old account is another story

23. do you have any pets? one beautiful and talented cat named Moriarty. A good description is she’s got puppy software on cat hardware.

24. do you want to change your name? listen I’ve been through 4.5 of these fuckers, I like Nate, I’m Quite Finished

25. what did you do for your last birthday? invited 2 pals over, I remember one of them suddenly whipped out I Am The Doctor and the Dr Who theme on the piano out of fuckin nowhere and I was like “Daniel what the hell you’re so talented” and then I hardcore dissociated the rest of the day

26. what time did you wake up today? 10:00

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? chatting w @houseofoakdown​ and also editing my monstrosity of a fanfiction

28. what is something you cant wait for? Going back to school! then I can graduate in my pajamas and eat creamed corn in celebration

30. what are you listening to right now? the same goddamn playlist, this one’s called Battle Cry by The Family Crest, i cri erytiem

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? probably???

32. something thats getting on your nerves? my brother vaping in the bathroom with the fan on at 12:30am

33. most visited website: tungle dot hell

34. hair color: I started out blonde af now I’m less blonde but still blonde.

35. long or short hair: short

36. do you have a crush on someone: :[] yes

37. what do you like about yourself: i’m hella smart, my moodboards are bangin, my writing is cool af, I’m well-hydrated at all times

38. want any piercings? Big No

39. blood type: A+!!!!! thats me!!!!!

40. nicknames: my brother calls me a goon sometimes

41. relationship status: im married to my laptop

42. zodiac: I was born on the last day of Taurus so I’m a definite Taurus/Gemini power combo

43. pronouns: they/them, tho in some places I use he/him bc The Dysphoria got hog wild enough I decided to pretend to be a trans guy so ppl would take me seriously, but I’m moving more towards they/them everywhere now. 

44. fave tv shows: Dr Fuck, Sherlock (I’m armed with a pitchfork and an arsenal of beefed up tv & film knowledge come on fight me), DOWNTON ABBEY

45. tattoos: in August I will get a bee on my right arm and probably a Secret Word in Gallifreyan on my left it’ll say fuck

46. right or left handed: one time I was bored in grade 10 and tried to make myself ambidextrous but that was a hassle so I’m firmly right handed. Except in archery.

47. ever had surgery: got all 4 wisom teeth out not long ago! I still need to squirt water in my gum holes so I get all the mushy food out :{

48. piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but they’re grown tf over now!

49. sport: first of all what the hell is this question looking for second of all I have a red belt (which is 2 below black belt) in Taekwondo. I really need to do that again hhhhhh

50. vacation: i went to England and France in the summer with my family as a “””grad trip”””, it was lots of fun but my collection of sensory issues extended to chomping and I dissociated so intensely in The Louvre my mom told me to go back outside so I wrote fanfiction while listening to 21 Pilots and chatting w my imaginary friends and it took me like 18 hours to process I’d seen The Mona Lisa with mine own 2 eyes. Also the plane was delayed twice bc we used Air Canada for some godforsaken reason and I had 0 hours of sleep when I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum and I started talkin to this bust of Sherlock Holmes and then I hadn’t eaten enough and we were walking to this bookstore and I said “I need food!” and my dad said “We’ll get it AFTER” then I shouted “I’M GONNA DIE” so I got a BLT from Tesco. 

51. trainers: h

more general

52. eating: the last thing I ate was chocolate chips straight out of the bag

53. drinking: I got another cup of water

54. im about to watch: my entire fanfiction to take 3000 notes on consistency. and by watch I mean read

55. waiting for: my brother (not vaping) to get out of the bathroom so I can PEE

56. want: Orphan Black to be on Netflix so I can actually binge watch it then call my grandma about it

57. get married: idk I didn’t think I was a get married person but since realizing I’m a lesbian it seems like a good idea!

58. career: nurse and a writer. I might just move to London and work double time to write enough scripts I have some street cred then pitch a TV adaptation of Faction Paradox to the BBC and win

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs bc it means my friends are in my vicinity not Toronto

60. lips or eyes: uh. eyes???????????

61. shorter or taller: i’m 5′3″ and I would love a tol partner

62. older or younger: i don’t think I care

63. nice arms or stomach: what fresh hell does this mean. I’d like a nice stomach free of gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux. not that I have either of those but just in case

64. hookup or relationship: I have 300 many self-esteem issues so imma say relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: AU where I don’t have anxiety and I’m a trouble maker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: noop

67. drank hard liquor: I PUT RUM IN THE WASSAIL HELL YEAH also once someone bought me a shot at a queer dance thing bc it was payday and my friend told me to gulp the WHOLE SHOT and then the lemonade so I don’t barf and I was like “brah this is too high-stakes” so I poured the vodka in the lemonade and took sips and everyone stared at me

68. lost glasses: in grade 6 and then my mom threatened to make me wear one of those granny glasses chains so I never lost them again

69. turned someone down: ya this kid Cyrus used to chase me around in grade 5 and I’d run away always he was weird af one time he made out with a folder right in front of me in the middle of class

70. sex on first date: probs not at this point but I’m not opposed to the general idea when I’m less w h a c k e d  u p

71. broken someones heart: Not that I know of?

72. had your heart broken: c o n s i s t e n t l y in the most fricked up ways god

73. been arrested: no but once I booed at the police bc the local nazis (yeah) were gonna have a rally so we had a counter-rally and I dropped in but there were no nazis except one old dude in a MAGA hat showed up 2 hours late lmao

74. cried when someone died: oui

75. fallen for a friend: Big Lesbian Mood

do you believe in

76. yourself: YA BB

77. miracles: not as such

78. love at first sight: nah

79. santa claus: I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa as a child bc he was “too much like God” sad

80. kiss on a first date: ye!

81. angels: big no

other

82. best friend’s name: I don’t exactly have a proper best friend but I’m goin with Liam

83. eye colour: blue/grey

84. fave movie: either The Force Awakens (bc I love bb8 and I’m gay 4 Rey) or Interstellar shut up

85. fave actor: uh idk let’s go with my brother

WOW THAT WAS LONG JEE🅱️US. I’m tagging @houseofoakdown @spoonietimelordy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @spockswhales @raesand and that exhausts the ppl I know but you’re all worth quadruple in my heart 💖

[thataspdfeel]

I'm curious, what are you most attracted to in your partners? Is it similar traits in all of them or different ones like their sense of humour etc.? Sorry if this is a weird question but you've said before you like when people ask about them so I thought I would.

i was so excited to get this and then forgot to answer it :/ im an idiot

also gonna put this under a cut cause this is gonna be hella long cause im a fucking romantic dork

god though i could wax poetic. they’re all so lovely. like they have traits in common but also are unique. they all have brown eyes but theyre unique. like my husband has these eyes that remind me of warm chocolate. like a chocolate fountain kind of warm chocolate. dark and smooth but reflect the light. my wife’s have tinges of gold in the irises like flecks of gold leaf. and theres a dark ring around the pupil and one around the edge of the iris. theyre fucking magical

my boyfriend’s eyes are almost black and very deep. darker than the night sky and full of warmth and mischief. but its like theyre never ending, like he can see the innermost parts of whoever he’s looking at, like your soul is written on your forehead

lmao i love eyes can you tell

they all have these goddamned sinful eyelashes and my boyfriend’s are the longest. theyre as dark as his eyes and when he’s embarrassed, he gets all shy and they brush against his cheekbones like how dare you sir. how dare you be beautiful even when youre embarrassed. i look like a fucking tomato. rude

my husband’s look gold at the tips with the way the light catches them. like yknow how fake eyelashes have purple or red at the tips? like that except gold. like what??? the fuck??? rude

they all have very soft hair though my boyfriend’s is the longest. i cant wait to get with him irl again cause i wanna braid it. he’s got a bony face and it frames it so well. it’s so dark brown its almost black and it’s fun to see him try to sweep it out of his face cause he refuses to tie it up

my husband has these wild curls. we were looking up how to take care of them and that’s how we found out hes ethnically jewish. (which makes sense considering he’s german) they get so thick and heavy and they’re so soft and lovely to nap in. which i do on a semi regular basis. its so soft and lovely and i love when he grows it out. he just doesn’t look right with shorter hair. and he has this beard that grows funny, makes him look like jedidiah if yknow what i mean. he has such a baby face without it and he loves beard scritches it’s so cute how happy he gets

bluh im bouncing all over the place i just??? love them?????? so??????????? much???????????????? there’s so much to talk about!!!

so i guess i’ll just try and make a list of the things i love about them

husband:

cheerful, bubbly, very sunny personality. the human incarnation of a very excited dog (which can be A Lot sometimes)

extremely kind. would give you the shirt off his back. often laments that he stopped carrying cash years ago every time he sees somebody who could use some despite the fact that we’re always broke

a proper southern gentleman??? like im fat so im used to people not holding doors open for me fucking ever and being really goddamned rude in general. he ALWAYS holds doors open for me, opens the car door for me both to get in and out of the car, and gets pouty if i try and carry my own bag. it’s so sweet??? ive literally never had that before and even after three and a half years, it’s still so charming

he will do literally anything the fuck i ask. he’ll say no and im like oh ok and he’ll tease like “finally! i said no! and got away with it!” just to make me giggle and then does it anyway

on this note, he also always cooks as much as absolutely possible. even though his spine gives him problems, he does his best to keep me off my leg

he’s always so concerned about my well being. like if there’s not a disability cart at the front of a store, he makes me sit down while he goes and chases one down. if im stiffer than usual due to a cold front, he’ll remind me to take pain meds every four hours

he’s trying to learn japanese because he knows i dont have anybody to practice with here in the states. just for me and not any other reason

adores animals. even if he finds a dog annoying, he’ll still fawn over it and give it as many pets as it wants and won't ever snap at it even if anybody else would. he’s got these large hands and he’s kind of clumsy but this goes away around animals. he’s just so careful and gentle like i never ever worry

drags me out of my introverted cave because he knows social interaction is also good

has introduced me to some of my favorite books and video games because he’s verious conscious about what somebody likes and works to be like “hey, i think youd like this” and is almost always correct??? amazing

has 0 sense of style but doesnt mind somebody who knows better keeping him from absolute disaster

dude is a damned good cook. ive gained like at least a solid 25 pounds since he moved in and started cooking regularly

SPEAKING OF COOKING, we met on the tail end of my anorexia when i was doing my best to recover and still slipping up. he never made me feel bad about it but always encouraged me to eat. he eats SO much (think shaggy rogers) that i always felt comfortable eating in front of him. he always reminds me to eat and asks if ive eaten that day. honestly, i wouldnt be at this level of recovery if it hadnt been for him

is amazing at caling me down holy fuck

wife:

met her first, of the three of them, ironically so ive known her the longest but been with her the shortest. we dated a few months in hs but there was a chick she wanted to date like right there (and i was in japan) so i was like oh go for it. well, they broke up and we got back together and it’s been lovely ever since

she has this snorting laugh that’s adorable to listen to and it makes me feel more comfortable laughing (because i think i sound like a damn goose)

SHE HAS SO MANY GODDAMNED FRECKLES ON HER CUTE LITTLE FACE THEY’RE ADORABLE AND AMAZING AND VERY FUN TO KISS BECAUSE SHE SQUIRMS

she has a goddamned button nose for chrissakes

and these really wide hips too like i felt bad about my hips years ago cause theyre p wide but shes adorable and has wide hips too. she kinda made me love them (even though hers are better)

she’s genderfluid so i get to be gay all across the gender spectrum (im agender) and she’s so beautiful and handsome and v amazing

we were both homestuck fans at the height of it (like we still are) but her cosplays are just really well done??? shes so talented

OH MY GOD SHE MAKES THIE CHICKEN SOUP WITH HOMEMADE NOODLES I WOULD SLAP AN OLD LADY FOR

i dont know about the rest of her cooking (sadly) due to limited time around each other but i cant fucking wait tbh. her cookies kill me tho i love them

an amazing fashion sense. im a dumpster compared to her

an amazing writer and artist and i die every time she sends me something like my soul fucking ascends

she loved me BEFORE meds which i think is amazing. like what a lovely human being yknow? im a dick without meds and she loved me anyway and i love that about her

she speaks german and she makes it sound beautiful and i cry

her singing voice is so angelic and it kills me when she sings because everybody should hear this lovely person sing

she is hyper empathetic and it makes her so lovely and kind and wonderful. she completely understands how i feel about things and why even when no one else does and is very good at de-escalating me when im upset

we’ve just known each other for something like 7 years now? like i dated her post my abusive ex and she lit up my whole world with happiness at being treated well. then her ex was abusive and just... we get each other? in a way where her husband and my other two partners dont. its a pain the others dont understand so we go to each other during these times of pain in a way we cant with other people. it’s a very special connection

she’s a goddamned goof and i love it

my boyfriend:

motherfucker is so skinny which is the opposite of me and for some reason it works?? idk like it worries me but it’s also unique. love it

we dated almost my whole senior year of hs but he broke up with me because he thought he didnt have the same depth of emotion as i did for him and didnt want to “hold me back” from somebody better. like??? can you imagine?????? how fucking kind

recently started dating again like it took him fourish years for him to realize SHIT I MADE A MISTAKE so he’s a little slow but he’s so very thoughtful

he’s a goof in a different way than the other two. dad jokes. never ending fucking dad jokes. and goddamned puns. he never stops. dont tell him i love them because then he’ll never let me tease him again (i pretend like its The Worst)

so. fucking. dramatic. always flips his hair in the sassiest way possible. its super gay (he’s bi)

he doesnt do a whole lot of romance or saying WHY he feels certain ways. he feels like it cheapens the emotion. but, on the rare occassion he doesnt let this bother him, his poetry he sends me about how he feels makes me fucking cry. it’s so beautiful. i love it

he works watering at a plant nursery and complains about how the bees always use him as a landing strip. it’s adorable

he’s so resourceful?? this is best seen when playing minecraft cause he makes some damn cool structures in some really nice places. i love playing it with him just to see what he builds and how (especially since im a boring, lets make this house a square kinda ho)

he’s so camera shy??? no selfies no skype at all. he’s so bashful and it’s super cute i love it

got me into DnD like yes thank you for this enjoyable nerdery

the sole reason i passed math in hs. like not only is he smart but hes also really good at explaining things to people? definitely a talent for teaching people things

he was my best friend for the longest time like all three of them are my best friend but he was the only one who was my best friend FIRST and then romance blossomed

like im demiromantic so i need a strong connection to fall in love like it was a solid few months of dating my husband before i began to love him. i knew my wife for awhile and got close so same general story. but my boyfriend and i were more friends to lovers and i love that about him

his dad is half italian so he talks with his hands and it’s so overdramatic that he hits people with them on a semi regular basis just gesturing. he once accidentally knocked my glasses all the way across a room cause i had walked behind him and he made a sweeping gesture. hilarious

one time, i had food poisoning and the pain was so bad, i had to crawl under his kitchen table until my mother came to take me to the base clinic. he sat with my head in his lap and brushed my hair out of my face and cooed gently at me to try and soothe me. it was so sweet and ive never forgotten about it

motherfucker, with the help of my sister, dragged me into homestuck

he’s so damn shy about affection that holdling his hand in public makes him blush. it’s even worse if i steal a kiss. fucking adorable

things all three have in common that i love:

good in bed. it sounds silly but this is important to me because while i dont necessarily need sex to form a close relationship to fall in love, it definitely helps

idk how this happened, i really dont, but somehow everything i like lines up nicely with everything they like??? and if im not into something, they can find it with each other and vise versa. lmao wtf how did this happen to line up idk

kind, generous, sweet, and helpful although all three show these qualities in different ways despite having them in common

love me??? like honestly it sounds so silly that id love that they love me but im such a flawed, terrible human being that it leaves me in deep awe that not only does one person love me but three??? how??? amazing people to find something in me to love and to keep on loving despite all my problems. beautiful

creative, smart, and inventive each in their own right. they fucking astound me and take my breath away

beautiful cuddlers (not being sarcastic, promise)

husband is a goddamned heater but boyfriend is a living block of ice. then wife is one of those who’s in between but she steals your heat and then hours later gives it back which is the worse option of the three. like it starts out all nice but then you end up surprised hours later because youre fucking dying of heatstroke

so we have two heatstroke, drowning in sweat options and then losing your limbs. it makes trying to set the thermostat a fucking nightmare

they all love to read and honestly? i couldnt be with anyone who doesnt like a good book

can hold lively, in depth discussions about things

hubby tends to lean more towards “would it be immoral to fuck a succubus” type morality questions and superhero dissection type things

wife is all over the place and can carry on a conversation about goddamned teapots if she so chose. no idea how she does it

boyfriend likes to entertain more morbid thoughts and psychology but also likes to analyze things. like homestuck. we still fucking dissect homestuck

very intelligent. blows my dumb ass out of the water. beautiful

like gaming various amounts and various kinds of games. hubs likes any and all. boyfriend likes dnd, monster hunter, minecraft etc kinds of things, not really one for cards or board games. wife prefers to craft but will occasionally engage in board games or cards, less so in video games but tends to stick to pokemon. it’s nice

they’re all very physically beautiful though in different ways. hubby is barrel chested and german with very strong arms and big hands, a bright and sunny smile. wife is small and round with tiny, artist hands and a sweet, pixie face. boyfriend is thin, long, and gaunt with pale skin and dark hair (kind of like damien from dream daddy tbh)

i could go on but ive been making this post for like well over two hours now and i figured maybe i should stop. it’s long as hell and idk if anybody else would have read this whole thing but basically i fucking adore my partners??? so much??? and there are so many things about them to love???

i just love them so much and could go on and on for hours about why i love each of them and how lovely they are and how they make me feel

ksdjrfgh im so sorry this is so long theres just so much to talk about //sweats

[lunarmoonacnh]

i was tagged by the amazing @unhugme

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: diet coke

2. Phone call: my mum

3. Text message: my best friend telling him goodnight 

4. Song you listened to: Michael Jackson - Pretty Young Thing bc it was on the radio 

5. Time you cried: like last night or the night before coz it was 2am and life

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone once lmao

7. Been cheated on: yup...

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no i dont think so

9. Lost someone special: yes, my great grandpa

10. Been depressed: yes, im currently seeing a therapist 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes! every time i drink unless its wine, for some reason wine doesnt make me sick. i think its because i once totally over did it on spirits and cider so not they just taste like the time i almost died and my body cant take it

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. grey

13. mint green

14. blush pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes, i started college so i made new irl friends because of that and i have also mad new internet friends through this blog 

16. Fallen out of love: kinda, depends how you look at it. i didnt know i had fallen out of love until the relationship had ended and i didnt feel as sad as i thought i would

17. Laughed until you cried: always, when i’m with my friends all i do is cry laugh 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, it happens a lot, sometimes negative and sometimes positive 

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, for good and bad. 

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes, once i left school i knew who my real friends are because they are the ones who kept in touch and the ones who didnt do other things that they knew would hurt me

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yess

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most, i dont know them all personally but i know of them all, no strangers for me

23. Do you have any pets: not at my house but we are getting our little puppy Sully in 14 days. i do have a cat and a dog at my dads house but i very rarely go visit 

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i used to want to when i was a kid because i used to get bullied because i had a ‘boys’ name (Billie) but now i like it because its unique  

25. What did you do for your last birthday: met my friends that i met on the internet that are now irl friends for a meal and to go shopping. we went for pizza and bowling and then shopping before they had to leave again:(

26. What time did you wake up: usually between 8am and 9am without an alarm 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was actually sleeping for once if not i was watching youtube videos

28. Name something you cannot wait for: to get my puppy and to meet up with and have a party with my internet/irl friends again in summer

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 15 minuets ago befroe i came upstairs to do this

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i could control my anxiety and depression or even not have it at all. i also wish my dad would pay me more attention and want to see me more because i miss him and its almost like he forgets i was his first kind before he mt his new wife

31. What are you listening to right now: the 1975

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i mean i have a cousin name Thomas? but never someone just called Tom without it being shortened 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: life? no but like the fact that im not allowing myself to do the things i want to do out of pure fear

34. Most visited website: Tumblr of course... it is never off my browser 

35. Elementary: ive honestly never wanted to go back to a time in my life more than i want to go back to elementary/primary school 

36. High School: no thanks to that. i wish i could have been one of the people that called it the best years of their lives not 5 years of asshole bullying me 

37. College/university: im commenting on this as England college (16-18 year olds) and ive just dropped out of one part (sixth from) where i was taking 3 subjects Media studies and Film studies which i loved and will miss and Psychology wich i did love but wont miss because i couldnt do it and it made my anxiety sky rocket. in september i start a makeup course and i am so excieted to be a qualified makeup artist this time next year

38. Hair colour: mousy brown

39. Long or short hair: long, like almost to my butt long (yes its natural)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, but i could never pursue it bc he is my friend and i wouldnt want to ruin that. ive made that mistake with my ex.

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes. they are grey and kinda ombre like they hae a really dark ring on the outside and they get lighter closer to my pupil

42. Piercings: yes, my first and second lobes on both ears, my helix and forward helix on my left ear. half way up my ear and my rook on my right ear and then my nose 

43. Blood type: i have no idea, do people actually know this?

44. Nickname: Bil and B although i dont like B (pronounced like Bee) but its what my cousins have called my since i was really small so it doesnt bother me that much with them 

45. Relationship status: extremely single

46. Zodiac sign: Aquarius 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: pretty little liars, it has just finished and now i am re watching it to find clues about A that i missed 

49. Tattoos: no, but i have a couple planned 

50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST… 51. Surgery: teeth removed they are the only ops ive ever had and will ever have to have touch wood

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: i danced as a majorette does that count?

55. Vacation: i honestly have no idea, i think i went to Devon though (its a place in the UK) all i know is my first holiday was during 9/11 

56. Pair of trainers: probably like Nike Airs or something Adidas i have no idea 

57. Eating: i actually know this bc my older cousin fed me a wham bar (a british, i think, chewy candy thing) when i was 3 week old, so i could have died the ifrst time i hate lmao

58. Drinking: i was 14, i know i shouldnt have been drinking because my mum made me promise her i wouldnt, but i remember being so drunk (idk if it was real or faked tbh) on alcopop thats right 4% alcohol and i probs had like 3 

59. I’m about to: go get my cousins baby off his Nan so she can get his older brother from nursery

60. Listening to: idk if this is like asking the same as earlier? coz if so t]still the 1975

61. Waiting for: my friend to reply to me an tell me when he is taking me for coffee 

62. Want: my dog

63. Get married: probs idk

64. Career: i dont have one rn but hopefully a makeup artist

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: rn hugs i need to hug someone while i fall to sleep so bad its been so long 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc im also tall so i need someone taller than me (i dont need but i like a partner to be tall)

68. Older or younger: older, people y age are immature so any younger and i may as well spend my time with a 10 year old

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i dont mind tbh

71. Sensitive or loud: both? not too loud though ya girl has sensitive ears 

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, im demisexual (it took me 17 years to figure that out) so hook ups aren’t my thing

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends because i tend to be the cause of arguments and things because im honest but im not out there to cause trouble i just dont like to lie

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: no

75. Drank hard liquor?: yes, dont do it, its bad kids

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes, i lose my glasses all the goddamn time

77. Turned someone down: yes, i always feel bad but you cant force feelings

78. Sex on first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of, i doubt it though

80. Had your heart broken: yes, again not fun

81. Been arrested: nooo

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: not always

85. Miracles: yes, the baby i spoke about earlier? yeah hes my miracle, he was born with a new strain of meningitis, he has had 3 lots of brain surgery (at a week old) and the doctors said it was a very low chance he would survive. he did 3 times. his heart also stopped 3 times, again he is here. he also had multiple surgeries on his joints, we got told he wouldnt walk but here he is at 16 months running around like a crazy person and loving life with his older brother  

86. Love at first sight: i mean no, how can you fall in love with someone based off their face (no matter how many cute people you see on the street that you think you love, you probably dont)

87. Santa Claus: hes real in my house

88. Kiss on the first date: ive never been on a proper date so

89. Angels: yeah, i really love t believe in thse things because its cute

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: im not saying their name coz idk if thats a good idea tbh

91. Eye colour: greyyy

92. Favourite movie: Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland i just love his aesthetic and the story of Alice so put them together and you have a winner

ok i dont have 25 people to tag but i do tag @theflowerkingdom @kinkylildanny @creepyphantasia @imjustacanforallthephantrash and @dead-nightingale 

if you are reading this and you want to do it, go for it and just say i tagged you!

[br0ther-theloops]

a “should we know us a little better” tag 🌸

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (i’m not going to tag twenty people are you insane)

Tagged by @hobisol​ thank you so much for tagging me!! 💕 💕

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water because we have nothing else in my apartment...

2. Phone call: UMMMMM my mom i think???

3. Text message: a group chat between @bangtanboysboo, @lol-hobi, @vrlskaserket, @bubblegumlookinass, and myself and it’s just me talking to myself rn UPDATE: we’re talking about teens making out in a line at cedar point lmao

4. Song you listened to: blackpink’s NEW SONG BECAUSE I FFHUEIWKFHWEukhjgwK

5. Time you cried: i answered this in an ask yesterday but i remember now that the last time i cried was like monday and it was because i was looking up pictures of corgi pups 

6. Dated someone twice: nope~

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: oh yeah, for sure, it’s what i would like to call, my first year of college 😬😬😬

8. Been cheated on: lmao yeah

9. Lost someone special: yep

10. Been depressed: 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yeah the first and only real time was the saturday right before finals and my friends tucked me in and let me sleep on the bathroom floor 👌👌

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: mint green/tiffany blue, pale pink, and either burnt orange or dark magenta 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes yes yes~~~ i made some of my best friends this past year ❤️💞💘💝💖💜

16. Fallen out of love: oh yeah

17. Laughed until you cried: yeah probably

18. Found out someone was talking about you: ....have i really not?? well damn, either people really like me or im just great at being completely oblivious

19. Met someone who changed you: definitely!

20. Found out who your friends are: i mean, everyone’s my friend. i get the context and meaning of this question, but it’s okay to have friends who you’re not super close with that’s fine.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i mean yeah

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i don’t give out my facebook to people i don’t know irl because it’s used for school and family.

23. Do you have any pets: i don’t have any pets and it makes me so sad ☹️

24. Do you want to change your name: it has taken me a really long time to like my name, so no

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i got lunch with my family and my boyfriend at the time and then i had practice and did homework because my last birthday was on a sunday

26. What time did you wake up: around 10 but i didn’t get out of bed until almost 11 so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: what was i doing uhhhhh reading i think

28. Name something you can’t wait for: my life to finally seem put together lmao

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: my biological mom; it’s been almost a year in a half i believe? and then i saw my step mom a couple weekends ago lol

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i want people to be loved for who they are and how they choose to present themselves and not be afraid of being harmed because of that. on a more personal level, i want to be better at saving money lol ooo or to love myself more

31. What are you listening right now: the ac unit in my wall. i rarely have music on as background noise when i’m writing or typing something up

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah when i was like seventeen or smth

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: uhhhhhhh the fact that it’s so humid in my apartment and the one ac unit is in the wall in my kitchen, which is closed in so the only place getting cooler in my apartment is the kitchen

34. Most visited Website: tumblr lmao rip

35. Mole/s: i have only one mole and it’s on my thigh kind of near my butt! it’s in the shape of an upside down heart!

36. Mark/s: listen, i have a lot of scars because i’m a delicate baby that accidentally hurts themself a lot, but as of what i know i have right off the top of my head: three scars on my forehead, one on my right knee, one of my left shin, one on my right thumb that looks like a crescent moon, two on my left arm which were the result of my clothing hating me, and i think that’s it? oh! and i have a bruise on my side that i’ve had since i ran into a dresser when i was younger.

37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a singer!🎤 

38. Hair color: right now, a brownish, reddish, dirty blonde, but naturally, dark red!

39. Long or short hair: long. it’s down to my nipples. i haven’t had hair this long since high school.

40. Do you have a crush on someone: not really anymore i don’t think ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

41. What do you like about yourself: i like...my eyes and my ability to not take myself seriously all the time. i also like that i usually see and understand both sides of a situation!

42. Piercings: three on my nose 

43. Bloodtype: O

44. Nickname: most people just call me ashley, but sometimes people refer to me as ash (but like, please ask me first because i do like being called ashley and being called ash without permission makes me super uncomfortable. also ashley is p gender neutral!). my mom calls me ash ketchum, and my family calls me ashley lynn. 

45. Relationship status: 😬  no one likes me so lol

46. Zodiac: libra and i’m three days younger than jimin!

47. Pronouns: they/them/she/her. i don’t mind either!

48. Favorite TV Show: UMMMM i don’t really watch tv but i like steven universe and gravity falls and chopped and anything on the food network tbhhhhhh also stuff like hoarders and my strange addiction hold my attention like no one’s business

49. Tattoos: i have one!

50. Right or left hand: right handed 

51. Surgery: ummm i had two teeth removed and a root canal so do those count? i also had to get stitches twice for cut because i was young and an idiot

52. Piercings: two on my left nostril, and one on my right 

53. Sports: the only sports i have ever done is track and that was for like two years. i dance for fun and perform dance covers with my club!

55. Vacation: i haven’t been on an actual vacation since i was sixteen. 

56. Pair of trainers: like the shoes? um, i have one pair of adidas.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: i was just chewing some gum, but hard boiled eggs?

58. Drinking: water

59. I’m about to: probably make dinner or write, who knows.

61. Waiting for: my ask-kimdaily stuff to come in the mail ;;;;

62. Want: pizza, but a lot of things

63. Get married: idk if i really want to get married, i just want to live with a partner for a while and be domestic and shit because that stuff 👌👌👌

64. Career: a writer or smth who knows

WHICH IS BETTER?:

65. Hugs or kisses: both?

66. Lips or eyes: i really like looking into people’s eyes, but i also have a slight eye phobia so 

67. Shorter or taller: both? it’s not that hard to be taller than me, though

68. Older or younger: a majority of my friends are younger than me, but both is fine

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: both??

71. Sensitive or loud: you can be both tho i’m so confused

72. Hook up or relationship: i mean both have their ups and downs

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: what is this even asking fam

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: surprisingly, no

75. Drank hard liquor: i’m an actual adult and a college student not to make generalizations but like yeah.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i lose my glasses every day of my life hekwjfhwilukgjr

77. Turned someone down: yeah a few times

78. Sex in the first date: yes

79. Broken someones heart: yeahhhhh....

80. Had your heart broken: lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

81. Been arrested: nope but i have been frisked by a cop when i was 13 because someone thought i stole smth and i cried 

82. Cried when someone died: yep

83. Fallen for a friend: lmaoooooooooooooo rip me

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: is this some naruto stuff or what

85. Miracles: sure

86. Love at first sight: i mean, it was love at first sight when i saw min yoonji so i guess you could say so

87. Santa Claus: not any more. i don’t think i was ever told he wasn’t real, but i just had a realize and was okay with it

88. Kiss in the first date: fam i’ve slept with someone of the first date i think we know what i think--you should only do something, like kiss someone, or even have sex with someone, when you are completely comfortable with the situation and are able to give full consent and are okay with it. 

89. Angels: i think so? i’m not sure lmao

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: names lmao bethany, becca, erin, julia

91. Eyecolor: hazel/green blue/sometimes they look gray

92. Favorite movie: this is constantly changing but spirited away, moana, phantom of the opera, ooo zootopia, harry potter and the chamber of secrets, and more!

do not feel obligated to do this, this took a long time even with minimal distractions but i tag: @minminyoongi @ahoneyyboy @nochucametru @otpvmin @giveemhelllex @1995winemom @blushguk @chocoulat @lqhani