#fun fact i originally was gonna make him more furry but then i ended up not liking it so he shall remain as kemonomimi | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bakug0stw1nk · 4 years ago

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Hello, everyone! This is the LONGEST TEXT EVER! I was inspired by the various other "longest texts ever" on the internet, and I wanted to make my own. So here it is! This is going to be a WORLD RECORD! This is actually my third attempt at doing this. The first time, I didn't save it. The second time, the Neocities editor crashed. Now I'm writing this in Notepad, then copying it into the Neocities editor instead of typing it directly in the Neocities editor to avoid crashing. It sucks that my past two attempts are gone now. Those actually got pretty long. Not the longest, but still pretty long. I hope this one won't get lost somehow. Anyways, let's talk about WAFFLES! I like waffles. Waffles are cool. Waffles is a funny word. There's a Teen Titans Go episode called "Waffles" where the word "Waffles" is said a hundred-something times. It's pretty annoying. There's also a Teen Titans Go episode about Pig Latin. Don't know what Pig Latin is? It's a language where you take all the consonants before the first vowel, move them to the end, and add '-ay' to the end. If the word begins with a vowel, you just add '-way' to the end. For example, "Waffles" becomes "Afflesway". I've been speaking Pig Latin fluently since the fourth grade, so it surprised me when I saw the episode for the first time. I speak Pig Latin with my sister sometimes. It's pretty fun. I like speaking it in public so that everyone around us gets confused. That's never actually happened before, but if it ever does, 'twill be pretty funny. By the way, "'twill" is a word I invented recently, and it's a contraction of "it will". I really hope it gains popularity in the near future, because "'twill" is WAY more fun than saying "it'll". "It'll" is too boring. Nobody likes boring. This is nowhere near being the longest text ever, but eventually it will be! I might still be writing this a decade later, who knows? But right now, it's not very long. But I'll just keep writing until it is the longest! Have you ever heard the song "Dau Dau" by Awesome Scampis? It's an amazing song. Look it up on YouTube! I play that song all the time around my sister! It drives her crazy, and I love it. Another way I like driving my sister crazy is by speaking my own made up language to her. She hates the languages I make! The only language that we both speak besides English is Pig Latin. I think you already knew that. Whatever. I think I'm gonna go for now. Bye! Hi, I'm back now. I'm gonna contribute more to this soon-to-be giant wall of text. I just realised I have a giant stuffed frog on my bed. I forgot his name. I'm pretty sure it was something stupid though. I think it was "FROG" in Morse Code or something. Morse Code is cool. I know a bit of it, but I'm not very good at it. I'm also not very good at French. I barely know anything in French, and my pronunciation probably sucks. But I'm learning it, at least. I'm also learning Esperanto. It's this language that was made up by some guy a long time ago to be the "universal language". A lot of people speak it. I am such a language nerd. Half of this text is probably gonna be about languages. But hey, as long as it's long! Ha, get it? As LONG as it's LONG? I'm so funny, right? No, I'm not. I should probably get some sleep. Goodnight! Hello, I'm back again. I basically have only two interests nowadays: languages and furries. What? Oh, sorry, I thought you knew I was a furry. Haha, oops. Anyway, yeah, I'm a furry, but since I'm a young furry, I can't really do as much as I would like to do in the fandom. When I'm older, I would like to have a fursuit, go to furry conventions, all that stuff. But for now I can only dream of that. Sorry you had to deal with me talking about furries, but I'm honestly very desperate for this to be the longest text ever. Last night I was watching nothing but fursuit unboxings. I think I need help. This one time, me and my mom were going to go to a furry Christmas party, but we didn't end up going because of the fact that there was alcohol on the premises, and that she didn't wanna have to be a mom dragging her son through a crowd of furries. Both of those reasons were understandable. Okay, hopefully I won't have to talk about furries anymore. I don't care if you're a furry reading this right now, I just don't wanna have to torture everyone else. I will no longer say the F word throughout the rest of this entire text. Of course, by the F word, I mean the one that I just used six times, not the one that you're probably thinking of which I have not used throughout this entire text. I just realised that next year will be 2020. That's crazy! It just feels so futuristic! It's also crazy that the 2010s decade is almost over. That decade brought be a lot of memories. In fact, it brought be almost all of my memories. It'll be sad to see it go. I'm gonna work on a series of video lessons for Toki Pona. I'll expain what Toki Pona is after I come back. Bye! 'm back now, and I decided not to do it on Toki Pona, since many other people have done Toki Pona video lessons already. I decided to do it on Viesa, my English code. Now, I shall explain what Toki Pona is. Toki Pona is a minimalist constructed language that has only ~120 words! That means you can learn it very quickly. I reccomend you learn it! It's pretty fun and easy! Anyway, yeah, I might finish my video about Viesa later. But for now, I'm gonna add more to this giant wall of text, because I want it to be the longest! It would be pretty cool to have a world record for the longest text ever. Not sure how famous I'll get from it, but it'll be cool nonetheless. Nonetheless. That's an interesting word. It's a combination of three entire words. That's pretty neat. Also, remember when I said that I said the F word six times throughout this text? I actually messed up there. I actually said it ten times (including the plural form). I'm such a liar! I struggled to spell the word "liar" there. I tried spelling it "lyer", then "lier". Then I remembered that it's "liar". At least I'm better at spelling than my sister. She's younger than me, so I guess it's understandable. "Understandable" is a pretty long word. Hey, I wonder what the most common word I've used so far in this text is. I checked, and appearantly it's "I", with 59 uses! The word "I" makes up 5% of the words this text! I would've thought "the" would be the most common, but "the" is only the second most used word, with 43 uses. "It" is the third most common, followed by "a" and "to". Congrats to those five words! If you're wondering what the least common word is, well, it's actually a tie between a bunch of words that are only used once, and I don't wanna have to list them all here. Remember when I talked about waffles near the beginning of this text? Well, I just put some waffles in the toaster, and I got reminded of the very beginnings of this longest text ever. Okay, that was literally yesterday, but I don't care. You can't see me right now, but I'm typing with my nose! Okay, I was not able to type the exclamation point with just my nose. I had to use my finger. But still, I typed all of that sentence with my nose! I'm not typing with my nose right now, because it takes too long, and I wanna get this text as long as possible quickly. I'm gonna take a break for now! Bye! Hi, I'm back again. My sister is beside me, watching me write in this endless wall of text. My sister has a new thing where she just says the word "poop" nonstop. I don't really like it. She also eats her own boogers. I'm not joking. She's gross like that. Also, remember when I said I put waffles in the toaster? Well, I forgot about those and I only ate them just now. Now my sister is just saying random numbers. Now she's saying that they're not random, they're the numbers being displayed on the microwave. Still, I don't know why she's doing that. Now she's making annoying clicking noises. Now she's saying that she's gonna watch Friends on three different devices. Why!?!?! Hi its me his sister. I'd like to say that all of that is not true. Max wants to make his own video but i wont let him because i need my phone for my alarm.POOP POOP POOP POOP LOL IM FUNNY. kjnbhhisdnhidfhdfhjsdjksdnjhdfhdfghdfghdfbhdfbcbhnidjsduhchyduhyduhdhcduhduhdcdhcdhjdnjdnhjsdjxnj Hey, I'm back. Sorry about my sister. I had to seize control of the LTE from her because she was doing keymash. Keymash is just effortless. She just went back to school. She comes home from school for her lunch break. I think I'm gonna go again. Bye! Hello, I'm back. Let's compare LTE's. This one is only 8593 characters long so far. Kenneth Iman's LTE is 21425 characters long. The Flaming-Chicken LTE (the original) is a whopping 203941 characters long! I think I'll be able to surpass Kenneth Iman's not long from now. But my goal is to surpass the Flaming-Chicken LTE. Actually, I just figured out that there's an LTE longer than the Flaming-Chicken LTE. It's Hermnerps LTE, which is only slightly longer than the Flaming-Chicken LTE, at 230634 characters. My goal is to surpass THAT. Then I'll be the world record holder, I think. But I'll still be writing this even after I achieve the world record, of course. One time, I printed an entire copy of the Bee Movie script for no reason. I heard someone else say they had three copies of the Bee Movie script in their backpack, and I got inspired. But I only made one copy because I didn't want to waste THAT much paper. I still wasted quite a bit of paper, though. Now I wanna see how this LTE compares to the Bee Movie script. Okay, I checked, and the Bee Movie script is 50753 characters long. Not as long as some of the LTEs I mentioned, but still longer than mine and Kenneth Iman's combined. This LTE is getting close to 10000 characters! That means it'll be half the length of Kenneth Iman's LTE. That's pretty exciting. Also, going back to the topic of the Bee Movie Script, I tried to write the entire thing out by hand once. But I never finished it, especially since I'm focusing on this thing now. Maybe I should write this LTE out by hand. Nah, I don't think I will. Yay, we're at 10000 characters! Let's celebrate by talking about MUSIC! Music is cool. That concludes our celebratory discussion about music. Thank you, and have a good rest of your day. Hi, I'm back now, and I got a book! It's a dictionary for a language called Elefen. It's like Esperanto, but better. Now I can learn Elefen even without internet! That's pretty cool. I will now write something in Elefen. See if you can understand it! Here goes: Si tu pote leje esta, tu es merveliosa! Elefen es un lingua multe fresca! Did you understand that? Maybe you can't speak Elefen, but you still understood that because of your knowledge of other languages. Elefen is cool because it's an actual language, not an English code like Pig Latin or Viesa. Oh, I forgot to mention that my sister is back from school. She's blasting Rhett and Link songs right now. Have you seen that picture of Rhett and Link standing with a bunch of *******? Sorry, I almost said the F word there. That would've broken my rule of not saying the F word. I wrote something in Elefen, so I will also write something in Toki Pona. See if you can understand it now! sina sona e toki mi la sina pona mute a! I can speak Toki Pona fluently, by the way. It's also a pretty cool language. My sister is still playing annoying songs. It's hindering my focus right now. But it's fiiiiine. Okay, luckily she's run out of songs to play. At least for now. She's trying to think of another annoying song to play. Now she's playing a song by Green Day. Not NEARLY as bad as the other songs she just played. I should go for now. Goodbye! Hello, I'm back once again. I don't know why I feel obligated to say that every time I come back. But I'll keep doing it anyway. My sister stopped blasting annoying songs, so that's good. She's cooking something in the microwave. I'll go check to see what it is right now. Nevermind, it's already done cooking. Right, I remember! It's mac and cheese! Now she just started singing "I have a tongue, you don't, because I cut it off yesterday". I don't know what goes on in her mind when she does stuff like that. I've been messing around with my Elefen dictionary for a while, looking up whatever random words I can think of. By the way, the whole reason I'm doing this longest text ever is because of pointlesssites.com. That's how I found the Flaming-Chicken LTE, which inspired me to start writing this LTE. So thanks, pointlesssites.com! I check that website every day to see what new pointless websites they add. You know, I could double every letter I type so that this text would be twice as long as it normally would be. But nah, that's kinda cheating. So I won't. Also, SUBSCRIBE TO PEWDIEPIE! There, I did my part. Not that anyone will read this, but still. 'Twould be nice if you subscribed to PewDiePie. That's another word I invented. Actually, I looked it up, and I didn't invent it. Someone came up with it before I did. That's pretty sad. Also, LEARN VIESA TODAY! IT WILL CURE YOUR DEPRESSION! Seriously though, learn Viesa. It won't actually cure your depression, but I'm desperate for speakers. I only have one other person to speak it with. I should go now. Goodbye. Hi, I’m back. I just came up with an idea: SIMPLIFIED ENGLISH! Or, in Simplified Engish: Simifid Enis. It’s where every group of consonant letters is reduced to the first consonant in that group of consonants, and same goes with the vowels. If a word ends up being just a single consonant with no vowel, put ‘a’ at the end. So “I like eating my waffles” becomes “I like etin ma wafes”. Isn’t it the most amazing thing ever? Nah, it’s not quite as amazing as Viesa. Actually, Viesa isn’t a real language, so it’s less amazing then Elefen and Toki Pona, both of which are cool languages. I kinda figured that half of this text would be about languages. Oh well. I just really want this to be the longest text ever, without using copy and paste, keymash, etc. If you remember, my sister did a little bit of keymash in this text a while ago. I would’ve deleted it, but nah, I didn’t feel like it. And besides, it’s not like it took up half this text. I have an estimate for how long it’ll take me to be the world record holder: about one month. I think I can manage one month of writing this. You know what? I’m just gonna break my rule of not saying the word “furry”. There, I said it. Now I’m allowing myself to write “furry” whenever I want. So with that out of the way, let’s talk about how I first became a furry. For some reason, I have the exact date when I became a furry memorized. It’s May 4, 2018. At that time, I discovered that I was a furry by watching some furry YouTube videos. I knew about the existence of furries years before this, but I didn’t know much about it until this time. I said to myself, “You know what? I’m a furry now,” and that’s what started it all. And I’ve been slowly learning more about the fandom ever since. I would like to participate more in the fandom when I’m older, but I’m too young for most of it right now. Guess I’ll just have to wait. But in the meantime, I can write about it in this text. I should sleep now. Goodnight. Hello, I'm back once again. Happy Pi Day! I memorized a bunch of digits of Pi once, not sure how many I still remember... I have literally nothing to write about now. I've been trying to come up with something for the past 10 minutes, and I still have no idea. Literally nothing is happening right now. It's pretty boring. My sister is watching Friends, as usual. Okay, since there's nothing for me to write about, I should go now. Bye! Wow, it has been a while since I last added to this. It is now July 10, 2019. Last time I edited this page was Pi Day, which was March 14. Those 4 months of this thing being untouched end today! Wait... 4 months? That means I was supposed to get this past the world record three months ago. Oh well. I have put many things into this text. A lot of them were cringy, like how I keep mentioning furry-related things. You know, I should stop putting things in here when I know I'm gonna cringe at them later. I'll try not to do that from here on out. I just know I'll fail though. I'd hate to be aware of someone reading this entire thing... like, if I had to sit and watch a family member or something read this entire text, I would cringe so hard. I would not want that to happen. I am currently pasting the entirety of the FlamingChicken LTE onto a page on OurWorldOfText. The frustrating thing about pasting stuff there is that it pastes one letter at a time, so it takes forever to paste long text. And when the tab isn't open, I'm pretty sure it just stops pasting, so you have to keep the tab open if you want it to continue. Why am I even doing this? No idea. I might not even paste the whole thing. I probably won't. Hey, I just had a thought. What if, in the future, students are reading this for a class assignment? What if this LTE becomes part of the school curriculum? If so, hi future student! I hope you're enjoying reading my CRINGE. What is my life coming to? That's enough writing for now. Goodbye. Hey again. Might as well continue writing in here for a bit. Hey, have you ever heard of 3D Movie Maker? It's a program from the 90s (that still works on modern computers) where you can make 3D animated movies. It's pretty cool. I've made a few movies with it myself, and many other people use it to make interesting stuff. In case you want to try it for yourself, I'm sure if you google "3dmm download" or something like that, it will take you somewhere where you can download the program. It's kinda aimed at younger children, but hopefully that doesn't stop you from making absolute masterpieces with this program. I have a keyboard in my room (the musical kind, not the one you type words on), and I don't really know how to play it properly, but I do it anyways. I can play a few songs on the piano (albeit with weird fingering because like I just said, I have no idea what I'm doing), including HOME - Resonance and PilotRedSun - Bodybuilder. You might not know one or both of those songs. If you don't know one of them, why not google it? You will have discovered some new music, and it will all be because of me. Why are you reading this, anyways? How did you even find it? Were you like me, and you were browsing pointlesssites.com, eventually finding the FlamingChicken LTE and going down a rabbit hole of discovering random LTEs? Literally the only reason I'm writing this right now is because that happened. I just discovered a new LTE: the RainbowFluffySheep LTE. I'm gonna see how many characters long it is. 75,957 characters. Pretty long, but not as long as the top two LTEs (FlamingChicken and Hermnerps, both with around 200,000 characters). I wanna write as much as possible into this text today. I'm gonna see how much LTE-writing I can do in one day. Hopefully it's a lot, because I wanna hold a world record! Imagine having a world record. Well, would it really be a world record? Because I don't know of any world record books that have "Longest Text Ever" as a record. Oh well, I just hope this LTE passes exactly 230,634 characters. That's all my goal is. I'm not even a tenth of the way there yet, but give it a month and I'm sure I'll get there. Hey, remember last time I said it would only take a month? That was four months ago. I should just stop promising things all together at this point. Forget I said anything about that. Did you know my sister has an LTE? That's right! It's not very long, though, and you can't read it because it's on her phone. She made it while bored at the library. That library was where I used to have web design classes. Those were fun, but I don't do them anymore. Now all I do it sit at home and write stuff in here. Well, I'm exaggerating. I go to the convenience store with my sister sometimes. But that's pretty much it outside of being bored on a computer. I should be a less boring human being. One day, I should translate this entire LTE into Viesa. That would be a big waste of time, even bigger than writing the LTE itself. But I could still do it. I don't think I ever will. This text is simply too long, and it'll be even longer than that by the time I pass 230,634 characters. By the way, if you think I'm gonna stop writing this once I pass 230,634 characters, you're wrong! Because I'll keep writing this even after I pass that point. It'll feel nice to be way ahead the record. My sister's alarm clock has been going off for half an hour and I haven't turned it off. Why? Because LAZYNESS! Actually, I really should turn it off now. There, I turned it off. First when I tried to turn it off, it started playing the radio. Then I tried again, and it turned off completely. Then I hurt myself on the door while walking out. So that was quite the adventure. I'm gonna go sleep now. Goodnight! Hey, I'm back again. My computer BSOD'd while writing this, so I have to start this section over again. That's why you save your work, kids! Before I had to start over again, I was talking about languages. Yes, I decided to bring that topic back after a while. But I no longer want to talk about it. Why? Because it'll probably bore you to death. That is assuming you're reading this at all. Who knows, maybe absolutely zero people will read this within the span of the universe's existence. But I doubt that. There's gotta be someone who'll find this text and dedicate their time to reading it, even if it takes thousands of years for that to happen. What will happen to this LTE in a thousand years? Will the entire internet dissapear within that time? In that case, will this text dissapear with it? Or will it, along with the rest of what used to be the internet, be preserved somewhere? I'm thinking out loud right now. Well, not really "out loud" because I'm typing this, and you can't technically be loud through text. THE CLOSEST THING IS TYPING IN ALL CAPS. Imagine if I typed this entire text like that. That would be painful. I decided to actually save my work this time, in case of another crash. I already had my two past attempts at an LTE vanish from existance. I mean, most of this LTE is already stored on Neocities, so I probably won't need to worry about anything. I think I might change the LTE page a little. I want the actual text area to be larger. I'm gonna make it a very basic HTML page with just a header and text. Maybe with some CSS coloring. I don't know. Screw it, I'm gonna do it. There, now the text area is larger. It really does show how small this LTE is so far compared to FlamingChicken or Hermnerps. But at least I made the background a nice Alice Blue. That's the name of the CSS color I used. It's pretty light. We're getting pretty close to the 1/10 mark! That's the point where we're one tenth of the way to making this the longest text ever, meaning all I have to do is write the equivalent of everything I've already written so far nine more times! Not gonna make any promises, though. How come every time I try to type "though", it comes out as "thought"? Why do I always type the extra T? It's so annoying that I have to delete the T every time. Okay, only mildly annoying. Not as annoying as I previously described. I apologize for my exaggeration of the annoyance level of me typing "thought" instead of "though". I just realized that most of the games I play are games that I've been playing for at least six years. I started playing Garry's Mod in 2013, Minecraft in whatever year version 1.2.3 came out. Now I have to look that up. March 2, 2012. So I started playing Minecraft approximately during that time. Wow, seven years ago! Coincidentally, I was also seven years old then. I remember the days of 2012-13. That was when I still played Roblox and made terrible YouTube videos. I was called "Infinite Budgets" back then. I also remember the days of 2016. A lot of people thought that was a terrible year, but for me personally, it brings me a lot of nostalgia because I talked a lot with my online friend at the time, and I did livestreams on YouTube and stuff. It was fun. 2016 was also when I got the phone that I still have to this day. Yup, my phone is three years old. My life was completely different when I got this phone: I was 11 years old, my YouTube channel actually had activity, and I wasn’t writing this text. I’m currently writing this in the car. We are on out way to the dollar store. And since I’m writing this on my phone, I’m making a lot more typos than usual. Some of them might make it through, so be prepared for that. Anyways, we appear to be getting close to the dollar store. I have a gift card for that place. I think so anyways, it might be for a different store... Yup, this dollar store is different. Oh well. My sister has an obsession with sponges. I’m sure she’s gonna find the sponges and go crazy over them. Why does she like sponges so much? No idea. She just found a bag of tiny baby dolls, and she wants to put them in ice cubes and call it “Ice Ice Baby”. She is truly a strange human being. My sister also has an obsession with stuffies. She has such an addiction, that she’s banned from them. Now she found the wigs and she’s considering buying one. She’s been looking at them for quite a while now. We’re out of the dollar store, and now we’re going to the computer store. I have no idea why we’re here. I guess we just are. Now we’re going home. Welp, that was a fun adventure. Stay tuned for more fun adventures as you read through this LTE. I should go now. Bye! Hello again. I made a private world on OurWorldOfText for my sister and I, but she doesn't want to join it. She doesn't think it'll be fun. Now I'm just editing it alone. How sad. But oh well. Now I’m here adding more to this text. I once made a Discord server specifically for a language called “Bo”, where the only word is “bo”. I made it almost four months ago, and somehow, it’s still going. People are still spamming nothing but “bo” there. It’s great. I also once made a server where you’re not allowed to use any vowels. It was a very strange server. I deleted it after some time though, so all that insanity is no more. I also used to own a Pig Latin server, but it got inactive so I deleted that too. We had some good memories in that server though. Now there’s a new Pig Latin server, but it’s not owned by me. Dang, my YouTube channel has been dead for so long. I haven’t posted a video in a year. I want to revive it, but I don’t know what to post there. I’ll figure it out. I doubt my channel will ever go back to it’s 2016 legacy, but I’m sure I’ll post something eventually. Random fact of the day: there are thirty-nine question marks so far in this text. Am I about to make it forty? Yes, I just did. Now the fact I initially stated is no longer true. Or is it? Because I said “so far” in the fact, that implies that we’re talking about the moment that fact was said, disregarding any future events. Now I’m pretty sure that fact is still technically true. Welp, I guess I should just accept that I’m editing that world of text alone for the rest of my life. I originally put a bunch of complaining in there, but I deleted it all. The thing is, now that world will never be same without all of that complaining about my sister not being here. But that’s fine. Hey, I just had a cool realization. Basically, there’s this conlang (constructed language, for those not in the know) server where we have a Sentence of the Week activity. In this activity, someone posts a text with a maximum of nine sentences, then people translate it into their own conlangs. My realization is this: if we take nine sentences from this LTE every week, there would be a whole year of sentences for people to translate. There are approximantly 523 sentences in this LTE. Divide that by 9 sentences each week, and you get 58 weeks worth of sentences, which is approximantly the number of weeks in a year. Quick maths. I actually suck at math, but that’s besides the point. I should go now. Goodbye! Hello, I’m back again. I really need to come up with different hello and goodbye messages, because I’ve already said “Hello, I’m back again” once before. Same with the “I should go now. Goodbye!” I said at the end of the previous section. I was going to explain what a “section” is, but I’m terrible at explaining things, so I’m not going to anymore. I guess you’ll just have to figure it out yourself. It’s probably not very hard to figure out, anyways. I guess I can just say that a section starts with me saying hello, and ends with me saying goodbye. That should be enough explaination, now that I think about it. Hey, do you ever feel like you never have any idea what you’re talking about? That’s my entire life. I just summarized it all in one sentence. On an unrelated note, I feel like half this LTE is just me talking about the LTE itself. I mean, press CTRL+F on this webpage, then type “LTE”. Look at all the times I use it in this text! Not counting the ‘lte’ in the word ‘multe’, of course. Dang, now the search results will include that, too. Anyways, half of this text is just me talking about how I’m trying to get this text to be the longest. Well, the longest LTE, anyways. I still have a long way to go. I’m only 12.7% of the way there. I mean, minus the four month gap, my estimation is that I’ve only been writing this for not even two weeks. So it makes sense that this LTE isn’t very long yet. Whenever I look at this webpage, it looks long at first glance, but the longer I look at it, the more I realize how short it actually is. It’s something that I can’t explain. For real this time. I just realized that none of this is helping the fact that half this LTE is about the LTE itself. I should bring up a new topic, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about much else. Why? Because, like I said, I never have any idea what I’m talking about. Most of this LTE is just me talking about LTEs or languages. Sometimes furries, but I don’t wanna go back into that territory at this point. But it doesn’t matter, because I’m still gonna write this LTE for as long as possible, even if it means talking about the same things half the time. Also, LEARN VIESA! Haven’t said that in a while, so I might as well bring it back. The documentation for Viesa is on this very website, so go ahead and read it! You might need to know some linguistic knowledge to understand it, though. In fact, you probably won’t understand most of it unless you know some amount about lingusitics, so you have been warned. If Viesa is too much for you, Pig Latin will probably be better for you. If it's so easy that kids can learn it, you can too! It's a language you can learn in probably five minutes, so why not give it a try? You may also enjoy Ubbi Dubbi, where you place 'ub' before every vowel sound. It's also a very easy language to learn, although not quite as popular. The thing is, none of these are even real languages. They're just codes, and very simple codes at that. You could probably crask Pig Latin or Ubbi Dubbi rather easily. Viesa too, actually. But I still enjoy them occasionally, even if Pig Latin and Ubbi Dubbi are inefficient and easy to crack, and Viesa is easy to crack yet unneccesarily difficult. I do make real languages, but I never put in the effort to learn them to fluency. At least I make them at all. Here’s a fun game: I will open up a random page from a book, and tell you the first word I see. English. That’s the word. Stay tuned for more fun games as you read through this LTE. We’re back, and we’re gonna play the same game as before. Ready? Subject. Now we’re gonna do it again. Reading. And again. Itself. Constituent. Grammar. Colloquial. Black. Outline. Add. About four of those words were language related. You’ll never guess why! (Spoiler alert: it’s a conlanging book). I’m running out of ideas now. I’m just gonna generate a random word and try to talk about it. Forbid. That’s the opposite of “allow”, I’m pretty sure. I don’t really know what else to say. Well, I guess I failed at generating a topic I could talk about. You know what's weird? My favorite word hasn't been used once in this entire text. I'm about to change that forever. Epic. Yup, my favorite word is "epic". I use it on a regular basis. I say "That's epic" all the time. It's a word I can't live without. Hey, I've now written more of this text after the 4 month gap than before it! Just thought I'd share that fact. Also, I'm gonna try and write as much as possible in this LTE today. I've already written more today than the day I first said I was gonna write as much as possible, so that's a good sign. The thing is, I don't know what to write about. I need to write about something, otherwise I won't write at all and I won't accomplish my goal. Wait, what goal should I set? How many characters should I write today? I'm gonna try and get 10,000 characters. I've already written almost 5,000 today, so from here I just have to write the equivellant of everything I've already written today. I'm just gonna try it and see if I make it. Maybe sometime in the future I'll do a bigger goal, like 15,000 or even 20,000 in one day. Actually, I don't know if 20,000 would even be possible for me. It might be, but it sounds like somewhat of a stretch for me to write that much in a single day. We'll see how long 10,000 takes, though. I'm already doing a bad job at this. I haven't typed anything here in several minutes. I need a topic. Um, Vabungula, I guess? Basically, it's a conlang created by Bill Price in 1965. It amazes me how one can work on a single conlang for that long. Most of the conlangs I start making die after 15 minutes. Anyways, I really like it because... um, I don't know, actually. There's not really anything about it that's super interesting (other than how long it's existed), it's just his personal conlang. Maybe it's the amount of development that went into it. It has over 5,000 dictionary entries and several texts written in the language. I'm sure most people reading this don't care about my language related talk, but I gotta make this long. I'm desperate to reach my 10,000 character goal. I've got 4,000 to go. I just found a website that generates random art from a seed. I just put this entire text as the seed, and it generated something quite nice. I would put the picture here, but I want this LTE to be nothing but text, so I won't do that. I've been playing with this for a while now. Many of the seeds produce boring pictures, but some of them are nice. For example, I just used "e" as the seed and it produced a nice looking picture. "a" looks nice too, arguably nicer. I've been using nothing but the word "nice" to describe these pictures. Maybe it's time to get a bigger vocabulary? "b" looks, um, good? I don't have the right vocabulary for this. I also don't feel like doing every single letter, because the pictures take some time to generate. But if you want to do it for yourself, just go to random-art.org and try it out! By the way, this is another website I found through pointlesssites.com. You know, the same website that lead me to the FlamingChicken LTE, which lead me to begin writing this whole thing. But what made me discover pointlesssites.com? Vsauce mentioned it. But what made me discover Vsauce? YouTube Reccomendations, probably. But what made me discover YouTube? As far as I remember, my dad showed it to me when I was 6. So I would like to thank my dad for being the reason I started writing this. He's the one who showed me YouTube, which reccomended me Vsauce, which mentioned pointlesssites.com, which brought me to the FlamingChicken LTE, which inspired me to start my own LTE. If he had never shown me YouTube, I wouldn't be here writing this text, and you wouldn't be reading it. Well, that's probably not true, because I probably would have discovered YouTube by other means, thus leading me to Vsauce, leading me to Vsauce, leading me to pointlesssites.com, leading me to the FlamingChicken LTE, leading me to... okay, I really need to stop now. I've gone too far. But you know what I haven't gone too far with? This LTE. I don't think I even can go too far with writing this text. Unless this text gets so long that it surpasses the 1GB storage limit of Neocities. In which case, I'll need to upgrade to Supporter in order to get a 50GB storage limit. But what if the text gets so long that is surpasses that? I don't think I'll ever make it there. I mean, 50GB is about 50 trillion characters. So I think we're good. I still need to get to 10,000 by the end of today. I've got 1,500 to go. Currently watching a livestream. It's reminding me of when I used to livestream back in 2016. I still kinda miss those days. But at the same time, I was quite awkward and had zero social skills, so I'm not sure if I'd want to go back. At this point, everything I've written today is longer than what can fit on the screen at once. At least on my computer screen. It probably changes with different screen resolutions and devices. But anyways, it's pretty unusual for that much of the LTE to be written in a single day. I don't want to pressure myself into writing this much every day, though. Last time I forced myself to complete a certain amount of something every day, it was overwhelming and I ended up losing motivation, thus letting down all my fans who were anticipating the August 30th, 2016 release date. Okay, the amount of eager fans was probably a number you could count on one hand, but still. By the way, if you're wondering what this "something" was, it was GoAnimated Garbage: The Movie, which was supposed to be an hour long episode of a series I made to make fun of random GoAnimate videos. In case you're not the type of person who knows what GoAnimate is... hoo boy. Basically, it's a drag-and-drop animation website infamous for the "grounded videos" that people made with it, among other types of videos. It's this whole community that I neither can explain nor want to explain. But I had somewhat of an association with that community back in the day. On my YouTube channel, I used to make a genre of GoAnimate video known as the "OS video". Typically an OS video is where some sort of hated character within the GoAnimate community forcefully installs their operating system onto a user's computer, and the user has to deal with this OS until they eventually find a way to "destroy" it. I made five of these videos. In chronological order: Caillou OS, Boots OS, Franklin OS, Little Bill OS, and Crap OS X. Caillou OS is the most viewed video on my main channel, which is unsurprising since Caillou is pretty much THE character associated with the GoAnimate community. When I made that video, it was a big transition for my channel. The channel's name was changed from Infinite Budgets, which had been my name since 2013 when I made crappy Roblox videos, to Allisima. All of my old videos were deleted, with the exception of my "Barney Errors", which was yet another genre of GoAnimate video. Basically, a Barney error is when a user's computer/console/whatever session is interrupted by a "Barney Error", a message informing the user that Barney has been killed, and the device must not be turned off because it's an "important message". There's also a bomb that's placed in Barney's "lair", the timer for which is displayed in the error. The user gets some amount of "chances", and every time the device is turned off, the user looses a chance and the time until the bomb explodes decreases. Eventually, the user turns off the computer enough times that there are no more chances left, the bomb explodes, and some sort of punishment happens. These punishments can range from having to downgrade your operating system, to having your computer destroyed, and in extreme cases, even to death. I once made a whole channel for Barney Errors, where I made about twenty of them before quitting. After that, I eventually quit GoAnimate all together, but I still made Crap OS X, an OS video made with Powerpoint. I also made an interactive OS parody called Windows Poop Editon, again with Powerpoint. Before that, I also made one called "Atch OS" using my old Windows XP netbook. I just checked to see if my old Weebly website still exists, since there's an Atch OS download on there and I wanted to see if it dissapeared from existence or not. Appearantly it does! I'm getting so much nostalgia from this website. It's like a window into 2016, when I had fun making these videos on a regular basis. I'm way past my 10,000 character goal now. I'm kinda glad I set this goal, but again, I'm not gonna force myself to do it everyday. I think I'm gonna stop writing for today. Bye! Hey, I'm back. Yes, that hello wasn't original either, since I already said it once. Specifically, after my sister seized the LTE and started spamming. You remember that, right? I hope you read through this whole thing instead of just picking a random part (which just happened to be this part) and reading only a tiny bit. Nah, I'm just kidding. Read this text however you want to, it doesn't matter if you read this entire text from start to finish or not. I mean, I did put some cringy stuff in here, as I keep mentioning. But it's on the Internet, and since recently, on my homepage, so I know people are gonna read it. Really the only reason I'm making this is because I have a weird obsession for writing giant walls of text. Guess what? I just added translations of this LTE into various conlangs on my website! But they're all very incomplete, and I probably won't finish them ever... I mean, if I'm gonna finish any of them, 'twill probably be the Viesa translation since it's the easiest to do. Hey, 'twill's back! I remember the very beginnings of this LTE, when I first mentioned 'twill. That was 40,000 characters ago. Appearantly I'm measuring time with characters now. Hey, what's the average amount of text I write per day in this LTE? The four month gap probably significantly drops that amount. Let's see! The trouble is finding out when I started writing this LTE, because I don't know the exact date. I'm just gonna estimate that it was March 12, based on the amount of times I said goodnight before I said "Happy Pi Day". It's not a very accurate measurement, though, because sometimes I stop writing for the day without saying goodnight. But anyways, from March 12 to today, July 16, is 127 days. As of that previous sentence, there are 42,549 characters in this LTE. 42,549 characters divided by 127 days equals about 335 characters per day. That's not very much at all. To get an idea of how short that is, the first 335 characters of this LTE consist of about 64 words and 8 sentences. As I predicted, the four months of no activity had a big impact on this number. But what if we ignore the 4 month gap, which was from March 15 to July 9, I've only been working on this LTE for ten days. 42,549 characters divided by 10 days is about 4254 characters. That's much better. It might be that big because of the 12,600 characters I wrote yesterday. I said I wouldn't do it every day, but honestly, I'm feeling like doing a goal again today. I think I might even go a bit higher than yesterday. Let's do 15,000 characters! I have zero life outside of this LTE, anyways, so I think I'll make it. As long as I keep typing about random stuff for the entire day, I'll probably get past 15,000 easily. I think I'm insane. Literally all I do anymore is write this LTE. My mom is almost certainly concered for me, because I was in my room pretty much all of yesterday and my sister told her about how I'm trying to write the longest text ever. But enough about my descent into insanity for now. Let's get this LTE to over 55,000 characters today! This is probably the most meta LTE in existence. Like I've said, I talk about the LTE itself as much, if not more than anything else. By the way, if I were to write as much as I did yesterday every day, I would reach my goal in just 15 days. Now I'm tempted to do that, even though I said I wouldn't set a goal like that every day. I think I might end up doing it subconciously. I kinda wanna convince some other people I know online to start their own LTE. Wouldn't it be fun if we all had our own LTEs? They would probably all die within a day, but at least I wouldn't be the only one writing an LTE in 2019... The most recently updated LTE I've seen is the RainbowFluffySheep LTE, which I believe was last updated in late 2018. That wasn't really that long ago, but still, I don't think it's being updated anymore. Now let's do an LTE Timeline! The original FlamingChickens LTE was probably started sometime in 2004, and Hermnerps was started the same year. The FlamingChickens LTE stopped in 2005, while the Hermnerps LTE actually lived on until 2009, although edits after the end of 2004 were rather sparce. The Kenneth Iman LTE was started in 2013 and was last updated in 2015. The RainbowFluffySheep LTE both started and was last updated in March 2018. And of course, the WhileTrue LTE was started in March 2019 and is still being updated today. Wow, 15 years of LTEs! I think my LTE is the only one still being updated. It would be nice if someone else was writing their own LTE along with me. But 'twill be hard to convince other people to waste their lives writing a useless wall of text. You never know, maybe an LTE that stopped being edited years ago will come back from the dead. That seems kind of unlikely though. Very strange fact incoming. A certain word has not been used since the very beginning of this text. Ready to learn what it is? I shouldn't tell you, actually. Of course, that would ruin it. Unless you want me to ruin a really cool fact. Surely you wouldn't want that to happen. Okay, I'll just tell you, because I'm probably gonna end up using it again someday or another. The word is "various". If you search for "various" in this LTE, you'll only find it at the very beginning as well as here. And I was gonna keep this a secret, but just now I did this thing where if you take the first letter of each sentence, it spells out "VARIOUS". Kinda clever... I guess? Anyways, for those who are insane enough to be reading this entire thing from the start Wow, you have quite the dedication. My LTE isn't even the longest yet, but perhaps in the future, when it is the longest, people will be challenging themselves to read the entire thing. And maybe you're one of them! Perhaps you're reading this long after I've passed my goal, in which case you still have quite a bit to go. So I wish you luck on your Longest Text Ever reading adventure! I've been talking about LTEs all day. For the past 6,000 characters, in fact. I need to find something different to talk about. But first, I just had an idea pertaining LTEs. I should compare this LTE to the longest joke in the world! The longest joke in the world is 56,554 characters long, which is about how long I'm trying to get this LTE by the end of today. So if I reach my goal today, this text will be longer than the longest joke in the world! That's pretty cool. I would also be a quarter of the way to my goal. But let's get back to finding something different to talk about. I can't think of anything. My sister is singing a song about wanting Subway. I will never understand her. What goes through her brain that makes her decide "Yeah, I think it would be a good idea to sing about how I really want Subway"? I don't get how her brain works. She also likes eating paper. I asked her and appearantly she was perfectly okay with me writing that in here. She probably thinks nobody's ever gonna read this. But she's gonna be wrong! Eventually. Now she's asking me to write about how she likes yogurt. "Because I didn't used to", she says. She's eating mango yogurt, and she has water in a Gatorade bottle. Now I'm asking her what else I should put in this text. She says I should write about how there's wild sage where we live. Now she's having hot chocolate. She didn't ask me to write that, but I told her I was going to write it and she said okay. My sister might start her own Longest Text Ever, again. She says it will have only one word repeated throughout the entire text. But I told her that it defeats the purpose of an LTE. In the original FlamingChickens LTE, one of the very first things that is written is "I will just type, and type, and never, ever use copy and paste". Okay, I just made a webpage for her LTE (it's gonna be an actual LTE this time). Stay tuned for "The Best Longest Text Ever", as she calls it. I think it should have just been called "KKs Longest Text Ever" or something, but whatever. She types really slow, but I hope her LTE will be successful nonetheless. Warning: if you do go and read her LTE, she spoils Spiderman: Far From Home at the very beginning, so be careful about that. In fact, she's basically typing the entire plot of the movie. Well, that's one way to increase your LTE's length, I guess. My sister is listening to her terrible songs instead of writing her LTE. Well, she has her LTE page open, but she's not writing anything and is singing instead. Actually, she's writing stuff now, so ignore everything I said previously. She's still writing the entire plot. Her LTE is now 2,000 characters, which isn't very long, but she's only been working on it for an hour. Plus she's a slow typer. She types everything with one hand. It might take a while for her LTE to get to this level. But assuming she keeps writing it and doesn't forget about it after today, it'll get pretty long eventually. I still need to write 7,000 characters today. My sister is watching a cringy video made by our old elementary school. They became a French immersion school after I left. She found one of the videos I was in... oh god, I can't stand to look at that video. It hurts me to think about those days. My sister's LTE webpage has text now! Maybe I should create a page linking to all the LTEs I know about. I think I'll do that. Boom, it is done. I think I'm gonna also put a link to it on this page. There, that's done as well. Guys, I'm not sure if I'm gonna make it to 15,000. I still have 5,000 characters to go (I was completely off earlier, I don't have 7,000 left to go), and there's not much left of the day. In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to make a goal for the day in the first place. After all, LTE writing is supposed to be fun! Sort of. There's zero need to make unneccesary deadlines. I think it just reduces the fun, as well as the part of my life that isn't just writing huge walls of text. From here on out, I declare character-per-day goals abolished. I will no longer make attempts to write a certain amount in a single day. I should have listened to my past self, who said not to do goals every day. But I didn't, and now I regret it. But anyways, here's a fun fact about this LTE: excluding my upcoming usage, the pronoun "he" is only used twice in this LTE, and they both refer to my dad. On the other hand, the pronoun "she" is used forty times! Almost all of these refer to my sister. Only one refers to my mom. I guess I just really like talking about the weird stuff my sister does. But not as much as being meta and talking about my own LTE. Here's another fun fact: "LTE" is the fourteenth most common word in this text! That's insane. It's more common than words you'd expect to be common, like "you", "I'm", "for", "be", "about", "was", and so on. I really need to talk about other things once in a while. But since I have zero creativity, I always resort to talking about the same topics. From what I've seen, most other LTEs are pretty diverse, but mine isn't at all. Honestly, this is likely the most boring LTE to read. But my absolute lack of creativity means it's probably gonna stay that way for a long time. I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to sleep. Maybe I'll be more creative by tomorrow. Probably not. Anyways, goodnight. Hey, I'm back, and I don't feel any more creative. But I did have a dream last night, so I'm gonna talk about that. Last night, I dreamt that I was in one of our old houses, and I saw that someone made a video roasting Viesa. They talked about how you shouldn't say "dog" in Viesa, because appearantly "deeg" is bad or something? I don't know. Then they said the rule where W becomes V is weird, but I don't remember the reason they said it. I didn't really care about how they roasted my language. Then I watched a Minecraft video for whatever reason, and then the dream ended. How do other LTE writers have so many topics to talk about? All I ever talk about is either LTEs themselves, or the fact that all I ever talk about is LTEs. There's no diversity. I very rarely talk about anything else. And when I do, it's usually about languages and lasts only a few sentences. There, I deleted it. Oh, you don't have any context. Basically I wrote a bunch of depressing stuff, then I decided to delete it all. I knew I was going to regret it later, in the same way I regret writing all that stuff about furries. Not that I think there's anything wrong with being a furry, it's just that it personally makes me uncomfortable looking back on it. I'm not even into that stuff as much anymore. I don't watch furry YouTube, and I don't talk about how much I want a fursuit/go to a convention. That's a part of me that's slowly disappearing. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about that, because I literally just said how I regret talking about it in this text. You know, I've been feeling kind of down about this LTE lately, because as I just mentioned, all I ever talk about is this LTE itself, there's no diversity, blah blah blah. It's especially been like that ever since the four month gap. In fact, I barely talked about LTEs before that gap. It's like I lost all my creativity after four months. You know what? I'm officially gonna say this: If, for some reason, you are reading this before you decide you want to start reading this entire text, READ EVERYTHING FROM "WOW, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE" TO HERE AT YOUR OWN RISK, BECAUSE YOU WILL LIKELY DIE OF BOREDOM DUE TO THE MONOTONOUS TOPICS! There, now I'm gonna try and forget that half this LTE is the same exact boring topic. I will also try to avoid writing about the same exact boring topic for the rest of this text. Let's celebrate the End of Monotonous Topics (EMT) by talking about how we (my sister and I) had lunch and did various other things with our grandpa! So grandpa asked if we wanted to have lunch and spend an afternoon with him, and we said yes. Then he picked us up, and we went to a nearby town where we had lunch, went to a museum which was a house built in 1909 as well as the town's first hospital, and got ice cream from what is appearently one of the best ice cream places in the country, according to grandpa. So today was a fun day. I'm gonna go now. Bye! Hey, I'm back. That's the fifth time I've said that. I need to come up with more original... nah, whatever. Anyways, I had a dream last night which was basically a whole movie I don't remember most of. All I remember is playing a keyboard at the store for some reason, and that the dream ended with a random car horn. Oh, and there was Minecraft involved in the beginning, which I'm pretty sure is becoming a recurring theme in my dreams. I don't know why that happened, because I rarely play Minecraft anymore. Do any of y'all remember the DVD screensaver meme? That was one of my favorite memes. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, many DVD players had this screensaver where it was a DVD logo bouncing around the screen. The big moment that everyone anticipates is when the logo hits the corner of the screen perfectly, because, well, it's just so SATISFYING! I used to watch a livestream that was literally just this screensaver running endlessly. And when it hit the corner, it was a huge celebration for both me and everyone else watching. I got so excited when the logo hit the corner. My computer's screensaver is even still a DVD screensaver. But nowadays when I see it hit the corner, I don't have as much enthusiasm as I used to. I've just seen it too many times for it to be exciting anymore. Plus, the meme isn't even a thing anymore. I doubt that livestream is even still running. But you never know, so I'm gonna check to see if it's still going. Oh wow, it is! That was the last thing I expected to see in July 2019. But only four people are watching it, which makes sense. The title now says "DVD Logo Screensaver For 1 Year", even though it hasn't quite been going on for a year. But when it hits that point, perhaps that's when it will finally end? It should have ended months ago, if you ask me. Yup, I was right. There's a countdown on the livestream to when it ends, and it says 181 days, 9 hours, 12 minutes, and 3 seconds. Wow, the corner hit and wall hit numbers are much bigger now. The most corner hits I'd seen is around 1400 or so, but now it's at 4776! The wall hits used to be in the hundred-thousands, now it's at over two and a half million! Hello, I have returned. There, I came up with something original to say! Anyways, I just combined every single LTE I know of (including this one) and put it onto one single page on a Wikia wiki called "No Rules Wiki". That wiki exactly as you would expect from the title. I found it a while ago, and I thought it was about time I made a contribution, even if pasting over half a million characters into a single article is breaking some rule... I've been wanting to make Viesa an actual conlang for so long now. I think it's long overdue at this point. Hey, I'm back again. These sections are getting shorter and shorter each day. But oh well. I just discovered how much I like the word "number". I don't know why, but it's just so fun to say! I think I've liked that word ever since I was a toddler learning my numbers! I remember thinking it was a fun word even back then. At that time I had two little electronic toys: one was orange and for numbers, and one was purple and for letters. I'm pretty sure those were the colors. I also vaguely remember having a fan that lit up and displayed custom messages. I haven't seen anything like that since then. All I hear right now is Baby Shark being blasted upstairs. You know that song, right? I don't know who doesn't know it at this point. I can't think of a single person I've seen that doesn't know what that song is. Dang, ever since the EMT I haven't been writing as much in this text. Looks like LTEs were all I could talk about. Oh well. How many times have I said "oh well"? Probably a lot. About eight times, in fact. I'm back again. I went a full day without writing anything into this LTE yesterday! There were a lot of things happening that day, so I didn't feel like writing. I could've written at least a little bit, but I didn't. Time for me to use this LTE as my dream journal yet again! I had a dream where my domain was "exin" (or something like that) instead of "whiletrue", so that was a thing. I also had a dream where there was this game that I thought existed in the real world, but it didn't. Dreams do that sometimes. I don't remember much about the game, but it involved the Simpsons, I guess? Also, I was in a weird store where they had an... iCarly laptop? And a bunch of gift cards. That's all I remember. For now, at least. My sister does not like synthwave. She says "it's repetitive", "the sounds they use don't sound like music", and she doesn't like how it doesn't have lyrics. First of all, she's hypocritical because she always listens to the same songs on repeat. And why does it matter that it doesn't have words? Why does she think every single piece of music in existence has to have words? YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR OPINIONS THERE! (That was a reference to a cringy GoAnimator that no one reading this will get, unless you came to this website from my YouTube channel which you subscribed to during my OS video days). Anyways, synthwave is objectively the best genre of music. I remember hearing HOME - Resonance for the first time in a Discord voice chat, and it was magical. I wish I could listen to that song for the first time again. That was how I got into synthwave. You know what my favorite color combination is? Yellow text on a magenta background. Oh, and don't forget the Comic Sans. That is just pure beauty right there. In fact, it's used in the first frame (well, close enough) of "history of the entire world, i guess", which makes me love that video even more. We're at 60,000 characters, 1,000 sentences, and 12,000 words! Weird how all those counts hit such round numbers in one day, huh? I need to stick to the EMT, so I should stop talking about that. My sister is attempting to build a Lego city. Her goal is to have three buildings, since she doesn't have THAT much Lego. Have you noticed how quickly I've been switching topics in this text? That's because I can't talk about anything for a long time. That is, unless that thing is languages or LTEs. I am currently trying to revive a language my sister and I started making a while back. Sometimes my sister has days when she doesn't hate languages for some reason, then she ends up starting one. But of course, she regained her hate and abandoned it. Now I'm the only one working on the language. By the way, the language is called Lazay, which was the successor to Zula, the first language we made together which is now deleted. We started writing the language on paper, but then I started a Google Doc. I'm sure the papers are still here somewhere. I'm just too lazy to find them. I’m back again. I haven’t been ending these sections with goodbyes recently. But whatever. We’re on our way to IKEA to get a dresser for my room. We’re listening to Queens of the Stone Age right now, and I’m just waiting for “Fortress” to come on. I sing that song in Viesa, but I make up half of the lyrics. It goes: Ванавар јак фиртрас кува, ма башег ђара, ја сок. Try and translate that! The song is playing now. I like this song. We’re back from IKEA now. Actually, we’ve been home for hours now, and we’ve already built the dresser. My computer crashed (but don’t worry, I started writing this in Google Docs on my phone), and now Google Chrome won’t open. So I have to use Microsoft Edge for now. I’m gonna sleep now. Goodnight! Hello, I'm back. My sister is brushing my back with a hairbrush, and I don't know why. I asked her what I should write about (because I have zero creativity), and she said I should write about that. I'm gonna type whatever comes to my head now. Hi, I'm a boring human being who has zero creativity whatsoever and still happens to be writing an LTE. Isn't that insane? How could this be? Nobody knows, and nobody will ever know. It is a strange mystery that has yet to be solved. Hmm, I wonder if I should go and eat pancakes now? I'm so random right now. In fact, there's an entire subreddit for that: r/iamsorandom. You should check it out! I mean, you don't really have to, but it would be nice if you did. I use Reddit a lot, but I only use it for language-related stuff. Well, I make posts in language-related subreddits, but the non-language subs that I look at are ones that I don't post anything to, because I know nothing about literally anything that isn't languages. And heck, I don't even know much about languages! I only make English codes and call them "conlangs". Sort of. I usually don't actually call them conlangs, but I use them for such purposes. I speak Viesa as if it were a real language, but it simply is not. Why did I make Viesa in the first place? Well, you see, it all started out as a joke for April Fools' Day. I called it "the new universal language", despite it literally being a cipher of English. What!? A cipher of English being a universal language? How silly! What a funny joke, right? Maybe? Somewhat? Anyways, I then made a SECOND VERSION! DUN DUN DUN! This second version had CLICKY SOUNDS which, spoiler alert, dissapear in the next version of Viesa. Sad, right? RIP CLICKS 2018-2018 NEVER FORGET! I also added WACKY GRAMMAR STUFF and PRONOUNS! WOAH! How crazy! Then I made the next version: VERSION 3.0! This version added CYRILLIC! (you know, that alphabet the Russians use, as well as the Serbs, whose version of the Cyrillic alphabet I stole for Viesa. Hehehe!) And that's the entire history of Viesa, explained in a Zany way! Do you like how I capitalized "Zany" there? Aren't capital letters so cool? They let you YELL AND SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS! They add EXCITEMENT! And most of all, they let you capitalize words like This. lowercase letters are also cool. without them, we'd all be yelling and screaming all the time. That would be pretty tiring, wouldn't it? I see two water bottles. One is empty, while the other still has some water in it. The empty one is blue, and the one with the water is pink. I should also mention that the blue one is mine, while the pink one is my sister's. I got that water bottle because I lost my other one at school. But GUESS WHAT? I FOUND IT IN THE LOST AND FOUND! Wow! Now I had two water bottles. How Wacky and Crazy and Zany and Bizzare and all those adjectives that perfectly describe this epic moment! Wow, writing your mind is a great way to increase your LTEs length! Before I was actually THINKING about what I was writing. But now I barely do, and it's greatly improving my LTE! Except the overuse of capital letters might throw the reader off guard a little because of how sparingly I've used them in the past, but oh well. I could fix it, but I don't feel like it. I want to continue writing, but I need to sleep now. Goodnight! Hi, I'm back again. My computer crashed AGAIN, and I was ignorant enough to not save my work, so that means I have to start this part of the text all over again. That's quite unfortunate. But did I mention that my Google Chrome is working again? That's the good news. It's good news because Google Chrome has all my logins, websites, and stuff like that. Hopefully you know what I mean when I say that. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. I don't even know what I mean right now! I'm probably insane right now. Especially since I'm writing this right now, as I have been for about 18 days minus the four month gap... I think. I hope I did that right. As I've said before, I'm bad at math. My sister just read the entirety of what I've written today for some reason. My sister just sang "I want your computer to crash again because I'm evil". She IS evil if she wants my computer to crash. At least I'll have this section saved. In fact, right now I'm pressing Ctrl+S after every sentence! Including this one. And this one. Also this one. I think you get the point now. My sister keeps typing into this LTE without my consent, and I keep having to delete it all. It's pretty annoying. Hey, flashback to when I said that way at the beginning of this text! You know, the part where I talk about the Teen Titans Go episode called "Waffles" where the word "Waffles" is said a hundred-something times. You know what else is said a hundred something times (in this LTE)? The letter J. So far it's been used 115 times in this LTE. That's your Interesting LTE Fact of the Day! Well, not really "daily", but whatever. Here's a story: Once upon a time, people got tired of starting off their stories with "Once upon a time", so they stopped doing that. But one person decided not to stop using "Once upon a time", and used it at the beginning of this story. And that person is ME! The end. Wasn't that a lovely story? You're probably not thinking that. Again, I'm not creative in any way whatsoever. That's why I don't usually write stories and instead write giant walls of text full of meaningless information, like the one and only WhileTrue's Longest Text Ever that you're reading right now. Hopefully nobody died of boredom from reading between "Wow, it has been a while" and the EMT. That's the most boring part of the LTE! 90% of it is just me talking about LTEs themselves. How uninteresting is that? Very uninteresting. Penguins. What are they? I don't know. What am I even writing right now? I haven't a clue. Isn't it weird that I said "haven't a clue" like that? Normally "haven't" isn't used if it's alone as a verb, as in "I haven't my keys". Who says that? Nobody, that's who. And yet "I haven't a clue" is an actual thing I've heard people say. Anyways, AFRICA! That was random, but let's discuss it anyway. Africa is a well-known song by Toto. It's a good song. I can kinda sorta play it on piano? Maybe? I don't know. Another song I can play on the piano is All Star by Smash Mouth. You know, the Shrek song? Anyways, I once made a video called "All Star but it's played on a Sesame Street piano" and it got almost a million views. It's been stuck at 900,000 for what seems like forever now. I'm gonna check to see if it's at a million now. I doubt it, though. Nope, still at 926,000 views. And I doubt it's gonna get any more, to be honest. It had a good run though. My sister is chugging applesauce. She thinks she's epic because of it. I don't know anymore. I seem to keep saying that after everything I type at this point. It's strange. Hello, I have returned after yet another long absence. When was the last time I added to this? I think it was somewhere in July. So yeah, it’s been three months, as it is now October 17, 2019. The end of the decade is approaching fast. I’m a bit excited, because I’ll have significant memories from more than just one decade! My earliest significant memories started in Kindergarden, which was in 2010. This means that I only really remember one decade. But now that an entirely new decade is coming up, I’ll be able to remember another! Part of me feels like I shouldn’t be excited over this, since the boundaries between years is arbitrary, and a decade is 10 years only because we count in base 10, so if we counted in base 12 or something, a decade would be 12 years long. That was kind of a run-on sentence, but I don’t really feel like making this text perfect, anyway. Have you heard of the Library of Babel? libraryofbabel.info is a website containing every possible combination of the lowercase letters a-z, space, comma, and period. The library is divided into hexagonal chambers. Each hex contains four walls. Each wall contains three shelves. Each shelf contains 32 volumes. Each volume contains 410 pages of 3200 characters each. Everything you could ever say or write is on this website. Even this LTE! See for yourself: https://libraryofbabel.info/bookmark.cgi?lte. Okay, that’s only the first bit of it, but every other bit of this LTE is somewhere in the library! In fact, here’s the next bit: https://libraryofbabel.info/bookmark.cgi?lte:1. It’s split up into about 20 different pages. I don’t feel like putting links to all of them here. It also removes punctuation that the library doesn’t use, like the exclamation point, question mark, colon, and so on. But it’s pretty mind-blowing stuff, if you ask me. If you try and browse the library yourself though, you probably won’t find much more than total gibberish. It’s crazy to think that everything we could ever possibly say or write is massively outweighed by meaningless strings of letters and punctuation.

#Lol i tried also im not a furry ignore the furry part #nor am i young

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moomingitz · 4 years ago

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I'm not sure if you have played the Nuts & Bolts Banjo-Kazooie game but what are your thoughts on the character designs in it?

Unlike a lot of people who obviously have never even touched it, I actually have played and finished it. So I think I can say I have an actual informed and unbiased opinion of the game and the aspects of it, and not just say, “Muh childhood! I feel so betrayed! :’C “.

For characters who returned in, Nuts & Bolts, I’m gonna have their designs from the first and second games side-by-side with their designs from the latter game for comparison sake. Gotta start with the two main titular characters, of course.

Banjo and Kazooie

If these two embody all of the positive aspects of the first two game’s art direction, well then their character designs in Nuts & Bolts embody all of the negative aspects of that game’s art direction.

I get what they were trying to do by making Banjo and Kazooie look more blocky. They wanted to imitate the polygonal look of the N64 games. But with all of the textures and detail this game has unlike the N64 games, it just doesn’t really work here. The appeal of their character designs was the rounded cartoonish style and googly eyes. Banjo especially is not the most flattering to look at. Ugh, his eyes! Kazooie looks better, but she doesn’t really look like a breegul anymore and looks more like a cartoon goose, and the feather detailing is making me think of Viva Pinata more than an organic bird.

It’s not like the art direction is automatically bad, because besides one other character, the other character designs in N&B aren’t half bad. I would say some of the designs themselves, when divorced from the blocky aesthetic, are actually improvements over the older designs. But for some reason the two main characters got the worst of it. While the in-game models actually look better than the more detailed promotional stock models, these two still look off in the game itself.

Bottles

They made him look really cute here. I like how they not only gave him that suit and tie to help him better fit his role as Showdown Town’s info guy, but he now has claws like an actual mole. It’s nice to see his model in Smash kept them.

Mumbo

I don’t like it. Something about it just looks off. It’s probably the more blocky look for his head and the overalls, but N&B Mumbo looks like the douchey Jock Chad type you wanted to avoid in high school.

Gruntilda

It’s pretty cool. Seeing how Grunty had been reduced to a skeletal head by the end of Tooie, I always thought eventually having to resort to using an artificial body was the only appropriate next step. This wouldn’t be the first time she’s done that, too. She put her spirit into a mech in the GBA game(which took place in between the first and second game).

Humba

This is one of the redesigns in Nuts & Bolts where I think it was an improvement over the original one. Humba now has a design with more character and thought put into it, instead of just looking like someone wearing a cheap sexy “Native American” costume.

But, the crux of this redesign is how Humba doesn’t even look like the same character anymore, and for some reason she even looks younger compared to her original Tooie design. I seriously thought she was a different character when I first saw her Nuts & Bolts redesign. Maybe they could at the very least change her facial structure to resemble her old one and give her back the dark brown hair she originally had. I think that would help make a difference.

Klungo

For most of the part I like this one. I like how his coat looks all tattered up, and the stitches in his skin show you all of the abuse he’s had to endure from Grunty; or maybe they came from accidents in the lab. His head structure however, I don’t know. I like the more rounded look of the N64 one more. At least it’s not this.

Jinjos

This one I’m mixed on. I like the spotty details on their N&B design, I actually prefer to draw their snouts more like this, and they no longer look like they’re trying to set me on fire with their stare. However, the Jinjo’s eyes in this game make them look like they’re sick.

However, the game’s more jagged aesthetics works perfectly for the Minjos.

King Jingaling

I like it for most of the part. The new outfit definitely fits him. Remove the Bingo motiff and it would make for a good new permanent wardrobe.

Captain Blubber

It’s Captain Blubber, but with more detail and some minor changes with his outfit. Not much else to say, really. His eyes are all baggy now for some reason. I guess it was from all of the, well, blubbering he does.

Boggy

I like the outfit they gave him. But the face, man. It’s the same problem I mentioned about Banjo’s design in this game.

Jolly Roger/Dodger

Out of all the redesigns in Nuts & Bolts, I think this is the best one. It’s not only a vast improvement over the old one(not like I thought it was bad to begin with of course) and a fun looking redesign, but it makes me wonder what the hell happened between Tooie and Nuts & Bolts for someone like Jolly to go from being mayor, to some shady dude selling Jiggies and pirated video games on the black market.

Also, I think Jolly has the best alternate outfits in the game, too.

I do wonder why his skin pigmentation went from an olive green to a pale lime green, though. But even that could be explained with how some frogs can change their skin color as a method of camouflage; that would only be fitting with Jolly going around doing illegal stuff.

Mr. Fit

It’s Mr. Fit, but with more detail and being more in line with the game’s more blocky art direction. It strangely works in this character’s case. I actually think he looks better in Nuts & Bolts.

LOG

I don’t care how much y’all want to keep crying about how LOG “ruined” your childhood, he looks cool! It’s a simple design, but still a clever and well done one. This is actually how I would imagine an all powerful God of video games if there was one. His head is not only a TV, but the fact his face is PONG is a nice touch; he even plays a game of PONG with himself in one of his idle animations. He even has cute little computer mice, too!

Piddles

I like the color palette and she reminds me of Halloween. But, what the hell is going on with her body!? I guess they wanted to make it look like her front torso was tall and imposing in a more stylistic sense(judging from her concept art), but it just looks like she has a long giraffe neck if anything.

Trophy Thomas

He looks more like a “furry” character, but you know what? It mostly works for the type of character he is: A douchey egotist, who thinks he’s such hot shit that he placed a giant statue of himself on top of his house. He even has hipster looking thick rimmed glasses. Also, it’s nice to see a male anthro character have “hair” for a change, instead of it just being a female specific design element.

This is one of those cases where the character’s in-game model looks better than the detailed promotional one.

Change up his head shape some and I can see his character design easily transferring over to the first two game’s more round and cartoony style.

Pikelet

He’s a cop, so he’s a pig. Can’t say much else, really. It serves it’s purpose.

#Banjo-Kazooie #Banjo Kazooie #unpopular opinions #Character Design #vasks

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narutsuart · 5 years ago

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Updated Three Houses Top 10 Females List:

Just in time for International Women’s Day! I’ve been working on revising my list as much as possible in light of revisiting Three Houses, playing Ashen Wolves, and rethinking my love for each female character I put on my last list. I will this time do the my list from Tenth place to First place. Just a heads up my # 1 one spot has not changed so don’t expect some crazy surprise there.

Disclaimer: please don’t flame me or comment about how “WRONG” I am it’s just my personal opinion or preference. BE NICE! and maybe reblog or comment your favorite list if you’d like?

#10: Shamir:

My opinion Shamir literally has not changed. She is just a cool character, I love how despite her debt to Rhea she isn’t kissing Rhea’s ass like Catherine or Ciril. Did I mention I really don’t like them lol? She’s badass and she has an excellent character design. Perfect blend of sexy and badass.

#9. Bernadetta:

Bernie dropped another spot going from 8th to 9th. I still have an abundance of love for Bernie, and I want to protect her at all cost. I still hold the opinion that while she’s an absolutely hilarious character, she can still get repetitive and stale pretty fast upon replays. That being said when I was thinking of characters that might potentially drop to below my top ten I couldn’t reasonably see myself dropping her out of my top 10, as Bernie is still a genuinely enjoyable character, and I do have a soft spot for her.

#8. Sothis:

Unfortunately Sothis dropped down a bit no fault of her own, simply because I enjoy the ladies above her more. That being said I really do enjoy Sothis. Even though our time is brief with her, I really do love the snarky little goddess. It’s funny, last time I made this list I had gotten her Christmas altand expressed my excitement, but I didn’t have her Mythic version(aka original version). I just recently I finally got lucky, and pulled her Mythic version!

#7 Dorothea:

AHHH THE PITCH FORKS!! I’M SO SORRY!! I know! I know! WTF?! I honestly any think of a perfectly justifiable reason as to why Dorothea has dropped so low on my list. She went from 4th place to 7th place for those that don’t remember. I honestly feel disgusting for putting her so low....I absolutely adore her character, her design is absolutely stunning, and I still enjoy most of her supports, but honestly I can’t justify putting her any higher than the women above her on this list. Like many who have dropped lower in placement it’s of no fault of her own. I just happened to realize I love the women above her more. I still believe deserves all the happiness, love and care that she desires!

#6. Hapi:

Hapi is such a fucking gem, I don’t know if it’s just the dub but Hapi’s dialogue is just so ahead of its time period and I love it so much lol. She has some of the funniest quotes and her habit for nicknaming everyone is hilarious. I’m aware that it’s not a trait unique to her, but I’m of the opinion that her nicknames far surpasses Dorothea’s nicknames. Now if we we’re talking strictly design Hapi would place 4th out of entire female cast for me, and that’s impressive feat since Three Houses has an abundance of amazing designs. In fact if I was strictly talking design a lot of the placements on this list would actually change. For example Hapi would actually rank above Constance for me in terms of design, but is trumped by Constance in terms of character. I might do a separate list for “best” designs in the near future.

#5. Rhea:

I KNOW ITS BLASPHEMY I STILL have both Edelgard and Rhea in my top 5?!! As those who saw my last list can see Rhea’s placement has not changed. I love Rhea so much is because she’s the perfect foil to Edelgard. Rhea is an excellenty written character with a lot of emotional depth. She acts as a perfect foil for Edelgard’s character they are so similar yet so different. It also makes sense that she and Edelgard’s ideals would come to clash. I’m of the opinion that if Edelgard and Rhea just talked about their views it still would still not end well. Rhea sage guarded her fabricated history of Fódlan for a thousand years and would not just tell the truth because Edelgard called her out. She would’ve branded Edelgard a heretic and have her executed. That type of tranquil furry is honestly unsettling and I LOVE it. Btw the only reason she tells the truth in CS and VW is because in CS she doesn’t think she has much time left, and in VW she doesn’t have much time left and chaos is marching on Fódlan’s door. Likewise Edelgard would sympathize with Rhea’s past if she told the truth, but would insist that Rhea step down from power or tell the truth to the world which would still lead to conflict. I personally agree with Edelgard vision for Fodlan more, and personally think Rhea is unstable, and worst SOLE leader for Fodlan, but neither are evil people and I can empathize with their motives and reasons for doing the morally grey things they do. Neither of them “do nothing wrong” like people claim and in fact do a LOT wrong. It’s those wrong things they do that makes them intriguing characters, and more relatable. They also both have the potential to do so many good things for Fódlan depending on the route.

#4. Constance:

GOOD LORD Costance is truly a one of a kind. I was pro Constance since her design was first revealed in the Cindered Shadows DLC trailer. That being said never did I envision loving her THIS much! Her motivations are easily understandable, and her fall from grace makes even more sad when you realize that haughty attitude that she almost always has on display is due to her compensating for her lack of status. Constance is one of the funniest characters in the game to me and she came out AFTER the game lol. She’s an incredibly intelligent prodigy when it comes to all things magic yet she has this naivety that people are able to exploit like Yuri with the “bootlicking nobles” phrase. She takes it so literal that she tries it out for her self, and tries to make a way for the boots to taste better making it easier to lick their boots......I CANT EVEN!!... honestly Constance could top this list if it weren’t for her split personality..... don’t get me wrong her split personality when in sunlight can be funny every now and then, but honestly it does more harm to her character then helps it in my opinion. Her change in personality when in sunlight is implied that to be because of the trauma of the fall of House Nuevelle, but we never get any real explanation for it or anything implying she can overcome it. Its not expanded upon, and never treated seriously. In fact it’s played for laughs and it’s something people just accept as Constance just being Constance. I honestly felt Constance C rank support with Ferdinand was done so well. She calls him out for his usually insensitive comments about status and makes him regret his words immediately. I had so much respect for her in that moment, come the b-rank support she acts all submissive and praises the ground he walks on....which ruined the c-rank support for me tbh. That being said, as you can see based off her placement this trait of hers doesn’t ruin the character for me, just keeps her from being higher.

#3. Petra:

On a much lighter note, Petra is my 3rd favorite! If you notice she has dropped down from my second favorite spot. This is due to no fault of her own I, just happened to realize that I loved my number 2 spot more. With that being said Petra has still gotten the victory! Like I mentioned in my first list, Petra is just a delight. I love how she’s so dedicated, and always willing to learn. Funnily enough my initial expectation for Petra’s character pre-release was vastly different then what her actual character ended up being. She’s one of those character’s who’s design got revealed MUCH earlier than any details about her personality and her design gave me the impression that she was the aloof, intimidating, and serious type that doesn’t have time for making friends or fun. I don’t know if anyone else got this impression, but obviously I was wrong! Petra truly does remind me a lot of Starfire from the original 2003 Teen Titans tv show and kinda re-awakens that childhood cartoon crush in me lol. Petra is just awesome there’s not a single support I don’t like of her.

#2. Marianne

Now if you saw my old list you probably noticed that Marianne moved up a bit. Naturally I still love her design(I’m a sucker for light blue hair I think lol), but upon revisiting Three Houses I realized that leaving Marianne at 3rd place somehow didn’t feel adequate. Funnily enough she was technically the first person I S-ranked in Three Houses due to locking myself out of the Crimson Flower Route on accident. Honestly she has become my favorite character to S-rank in Three Houses even more so than my number one spot! Anyway my love for Marianne is very different for most character’s as she is one I feel can really relate to on very personal and emotional level. I’m gonna get real for a minute. I honestly I had been in bad place in my life recently. I had been feeling like the world has been crashing down on me. I have plenty of things to be happy for yet I often felt depressed. I’d often had “friends” call me out, saying I have no reason to be depressed, or that I have been blessed with so many things, and while I agree I’m very blessed, they couldn’t understand how I felt, as all they could provide was the view of an outsider looking in. While the action of suicide was something I never considered, I’d had been contemplating the value of my life or if it was really worth living. First want to clarify that I’m in MUCH better headspace than I was then. I definitely feel like I’m getting better. I have my ups and downs, but I’m currently making better friendships, I’m actively getting the help I need! I’ve always sympathized with Marianne, but now I can say that I really empathize with Marianne. When we take things at face value she seemingly had everything going for her, being brought up into the nobility, trained for success, and even having an extremely rare crest. By all means to an outsider looking in she had every reason to be happy. Of course while all these things sound nice especially in the context of the story they are in actuality a source for her depression. In her C-rank support with Ferdinand we see his confusion as to why Marianne dislikes being a part of the nobility. This support is one of the few times she expresses real anger, and is when expresses she never got to have what she saw as a normal life, she never wanted to be a part of the nobility and the weight and the expectations of being nobility was crushing her, as she had to adhere to standards of those around her. She was also taught to fear her crest as curse, so the blessing many commoners would be estatic to receive was thing she deemed as a curse. Over the course of the story and through her supports, Marianne begins to learn how to be more accepting of herself and gain more self-confidence. Naturally her timeskip appearance reflects this. She looks well-rested, expressive, and she genuinely seems more happy. I will never forget In her A-support with Byleth, that over the course of 5 years she had abandoned her depression and suicidal thoughts thanks to the genuine and long lasting friendship‘s she’s made and that she managed to uncover the truth of her heritage, and overcome the fear and hatred of her Crest. Her character arc is a very powerful thing to me, and is also example of what makes the 5 year timeskip so great. In addition to her character arc Marianne is just so cute, don’t get me stated on how adorable her habit of talking to animals is! Marianne is a fucking fantastic character and I love her so much.

EDIT: So I wanted to clarify that if I’m being honest Marianne and #1 spot are technically both tied as #1 me, and are so for very different reasons. For the sake of creating a Top 10 and to avoid a cop out list I chose to put her at second. To me Marianne is ��BEST GIRL”. She’s my favorite female character to marry, she’s most endearing to me, she has like my third favorite female character design in all of Fire Emblem, and I relate to her on an emotional level. That being said this next character is “BEST CHARACTER” I like more for her role in the story, how her character is written, and how she was designed. Despite this I do not marry her NEARLY as often as Marianne. While I ship her with F! Byleth(OTP!) she’s not someone I personally would persue romantically. In other words Marianne is more my type and I tend to be biased with her while this next character is female character that I feel is the BEST WRITTEN and the female character I respect the most out of the cast.

#1. Edelgard:

Upon revisiting Fire Emblem Three Houses story as well as playing the Cindered Shadows DLC, nothing has changed, in fact my love and resolve for Edelgard has only been strengthened. I made a huge in depth posts for Edelgard a while back explaining her past, motives, and reasons for what she does. The posts had spanned multiple reblogs of details and clarification and I went over the typing limit in every single one. I won’t divulge further into all that. Like I mentioned last time I created my top ten list, aside from her being IN MY OPINION one of the best written female protagonists in Fire Emblem history, I absolutely love her design, its probably one of my favorite designs in all of Fire Emblem. That being said, If I had to say while she’s definitely close, she doesn’t have my all time number one favorite design, that spot goes to Azura from Fire Emblem Fates. Edelgard will always be my favorite Three Houses female character no matter what and I’m so happy she was brought into existence!

Well that’s my revised list, I had a lot of fun writing this list and I hope it was enjoyable for you guys to read as well! I would really love it if you guys comment or reblog with your own list of favorite Three House females! Y’know what?! Comment or reblog with your list of favorite females in the entire Fire Emblem franchise if you’d like! I’m very interested in seeing your lists Happy International Women’s Day!

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem three houses cindered shadows #international women's day #edelgard fire emblem #fire emblem marianne #petra fire emblem #fire emblem constance #fire emblem rhea #fire emblem hapi #fire emblem dorothea #fire emblem women

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thenonbinarydetective · 4 years ago

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Puppy Love

Forgive me, but I combined two request into one. It happened on accident, cause I realized the prompt could fit the situation I get Frank and Joe into, but don’t worry @ladylindaaa it’s a fun fluffy situation. Also based off of my sims game. This is also an apology for those I hurt after posting Catch of the Day

Warning: Cute dogs and cute boys

Word Count: 2,340

Prompt: “Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?”

Summary: After a stakeout, The Hardy Boys convince their family to adopt two dogs. The responsibility ends up a lot greater than Frank and Joe originally thought.

Enjoy!

Joe Hardy sat slumped in the seat of their car. Chin in hand, his bored stare remained fixed on a very interesting brick wall.

Frank on the other hand was taking the stakeout much more seriously, His gazed remained fixed on the jewelry store. “Would you pay attention?” He smacked his brother’s arm.

“To what? Nothing’s happening!” Joe defended himself, sitting up.

“We promised Dad.” Frank reminded his younger brother. Earlier that same evening Fenton Hardy had asked his sons to take his place in watching Alyssa’s Jewels for a few hours until he could take over. They had nothing better to do, so they agreed. Joe just didn’t expect for time to move so slow. Usually, the brothers wait for a few minutes, have a quick conversation, and then boom! They get attacked by the criminal. They either win or knocked out (or both). They probably shouldn’t be used to that.

“It’s not like you’re the perfect watchmen.” Joe snapped back. He reached out to grab Frank’s phone, “Who are you texting?” Frank contorted his body away from him. They glared at each other, both knew that his brother wouldn’t back down. Within seconds they started wrestling.

Joe, being the stronger Hardy Boy, soon overpowered his brother. He laughed triumphantly, waving the phone away from his brother, who had pressed against the other door with his foot. “Now let’s see who you’ve been texting.” His joy vanished after he looked at the notifications and saw practically all of their friends. “You’re in a group chat with Nancy, Bess, and George! Since when did you group chat anyway?”

“Since tonight, and they’re on a stake-out too.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know that because SOMEONE didn’t invite me!”

“I’m sorry. I’ll add you to it.” Frank apologized. The street lamp illuminating the hurt look on Joe’s face made him look pathetic.

“You made me sit in silence for 45 minutes, while you texted our friends. Some brother you are.”

“Stop yelling.” He rubbed his temples, “I invited you isn’t that- Wait what’s that?” He looked past his brother into an alleyway next to the store. There was movement behind the garbage can. Joe saw it too. The brothers leaped out of the car, but quietly as they could so they wouldn’t draw attention to themselves. They pressed themselves to side of the nearest building.

A man dressed in all black approached the store, entering the alley. The boys looked at one another, someone else was in the alley. Would they catch the criminal before they did? The brothers asked each other without saying a word. They bolted forward, not willing to risk it. As they came closer, they heard a deep growl.

The man came shooting out, chased by a black blur. It shocked Frank and Joe as the chase ignored them. The man ducked into the next alley. The blur nipped at his heels. When the boys entered the scene, the man pressed himself against the wall, a large black dog snarled at him. A bag overflowing with jewelry spilled on the ground.

“Get this crazy mutt away from me! I’ll turn myself in, I swear!” The man pleaded. He looked seconds away from wetting his pants. The Hardy Boys both tried to hide their laughter and failed. “Hey it’s not funny! This dog is crazy.”

While the brothers knew how serious dog attacks could be, the sight of the nervous thief was a little funny. Frank moved forward, keeping the vicious dog in sight as he walked so he’d be prepared if the dog changed targets. Strangely enough, it didn’t. He felt more at ease and walked closer. The thief let Frank tie up his hands with his belt.

At that, the black dog stopped and left the alley. Joe checked to see if his brother was as confused as he was about the dog’s behavior. Frank was. Joe left in time to see the dog return to the other alley. Cautiously, the younger Hardy followed.

He had lost the dog when he entered. “Hey.” He gently called, pairing that with a whistle. The dog poked his head out from behind a dumpster. So did another dog. The other is white with brown splotches of varying sizes. The black dog didn’t seem as scary now. His big brown eyes searched Joe adorably. He was trying to figure out why this human was looking down at him.

“I’m a friend, don’t worry.” He promised, kneeling a few feet away. He put out his hand for the dogs to sniff. The dogs stood still, as if they were deciding if they should trust him. “C’mon. Come here.” His voice raised a few octaves when he said this. The brown and white dog walked towards him. Sniffing then nuzzling his hand, it looks like Joe had made a new friend. The black dog came closer, but wasn’t as friendly.

A couple minutes later, Joe exited the alley with two furry friends. An officer loaded the thief into the back of a police car, while Frank watched. He must have seen his brother out of the corner of his eye, because when he left the alley he immediately broke off. “Who are they?”

“Well, this is the dog that chased that guy, and this is his friend.” Joe smiled.

“Joe we can’t keep them.”

“Why not? This guy can chase criminals better than we can. Dad will love him.” He patted the black dog’s head. He accepted this praise with a strong, determined look. It was oddly human for a dog, Frank didn’t know if he liked it or was freaked out by it. “And this little sweetheart is so adorable.” Joe bent down and hugged the second dog. “She’s perfect for mom.”

“I don’t know Joe.” Frank shrugged. He knew their aunt wasn’t very fond of dogs, even if their parents were. It would take a lot of convincing to let her keep them. His heart melted at the sight of them. They were making it very difficult to say no. In the back of his mind, he started listing the chore he would promise to do for his aunt for the dogs.

Joe laughed, he realized just how weak his brother was in the presence of these two spectacular mutts. His broad, lopsided grin hid how much he wanted to jump for joy. He was finally getting the dog he’s always wanted.

“What’s the worst that can happen?”

———————————————————————————————————

“This is the worst that can happen.” He answered a month later. He knew he shouldn’t have said that. He always regrets it when he says that.

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Dude, Aunt Trudy’s gonna kill us.” Joe raked his fingers through his blond curls.

“Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?” Frank raised an eyebrow at his younger brother.

“No, it’s not extreme at all. That the good tablecloth, Frank! The good tablecloth!” He was shaking his brother by the shoulders. Who then shrugged off his brother’s grasp.

They looked down at what Joe was being dramatic about. The brown and white dog, now named Laika, had made a nest in the hall closet with the dreaded good tablecloth. Along with that, Frank saw his dad’s old coat, two of his mother’s dresses, a few of his brother’s shirts, and some of his own. He didn’t understand why the dog used clothes and a tablecloth for her puppies, but Frank wasn’t a mother.

Laika continued to press the various items together until she decided it was comfortable enough. She laid down and glanced up at her owners. Completely wrapped up in the joy of impending motherhood, she didn’t realize the stress she was causing them.

“Aunty only takes it out for special occasions and this is pretty special.” Frank chuckled quietly, squeezing himself into the small closet so he could comfort Laika. He stoked her head, which she thanked him for by licking his hand. Eventually, he couldn’t ignore the feeling of the daggers that Joe was glaring at him with. “What?”

“I’m stressed and you’re making jokes.” Joe threw up his arms in frustration. “I never agreed to the Freaky Friday switch.” He slid down the wall, utterly defeated.

“Neither did the characters in Freaky Friday.” The brunet brother reminded, pointing at his brother. “Switch with me, I’m gonna go call the vet.” He eased himself out of the closet and walked into the kitchen.

Joe took his brother’s place as a doggy midwife. As he traced little shapes in her fur, he thought back to only three hours before when he promised his parents that they would have a boring night so they could have some alone time. Unfortunately, Mr. and Mrs. Hardy rarely got the time for a date night. Right about now they were probably rushing home from that really fancy restaurant after getting the text about Laika.

Ranger, the black dog and probably Laika’s baby daddy, howled from Laura’s office. The boys put him in there once they realized Laika was in labor. He continued to be vocal about how much he hated the situation he was in. Joe didn’t like it much either.

Laika whined, Joe felt bad for her. She knew that. She nuzzled Joe, trying to comfort him even though she felt so terrible. He tried to do the same for her. Trapping them in an endless cycle of love and sadness.

“I’m sorry girl, I don’t know what’s taking the vet so long.” He said as an effort to make her feel better.

Frank returned, “Dr. Cohen said he’s having car trouble and just to keep her comfortable.” He sat against the opposite wall. The brothers sat in silence. Laika let out an occasional whine while Ranger yelled things that were probably uncomplimentary in dog. This lasted for a few minutes.

“Tonight blows.” Joe sighed, “First you cooked dinner, then the washing machine explode, I forgot to write that essay, and now Laika.” He pulled his knees to his chest and by the end of his sadness list, his head was buried in his arms.

Frank ignored the jab at his cooking skills and the fact that it was Joe who broke the washing machine. He enjoyed teasing his brother like every other sibling in existence, but it was hard to see him so upset. “I’m sorry about dinner, we fixed the washing machine, you can write the essay later, and Laika will be fine.”

The doorbell rang, causing both brothers to jump to their feet. Frank reached the door first and opened it. Outside stood Dr. Cohen with his vet bag in hand. Behind him was his son and close friend of the Hardys, Phil.

“She’s in the closet, Dr. Cohen.” Frank gestured. The vet nodded and followed him over. Joe and Phil lagged a bit, neither wanted to crowd the patient.

“Is that your Aunt’s good tablecloth?” Phil asked, peering into the nest.

“Don’t remind me.” Joe grumbled.

“You remember that?” Frank raised his brow at his short friend.

“Of course, she takes it out for every party.” Phil said as a matter-of-factly.

“Well, this party already has another guest.” Dr. Cohen announced. The three boys noticed the little puppy that had been born while they were distracted. “Still waiting on a few others.”

They heard a car door slam from the driveway, followed by the rushing tap of high heels on stone. Laura Hardy threw open the door, “Is she alright? Did we miss anything?” She asked breathlessly.

“Only one mom. Another’s coming any minute.” Frank shuffled over and gave his mother a quick hug, his brother did the same.

“Oh, good.” She smiled, then pushed past her sons to see her dog. They weren’t surprised, Laura and Laika formed a close bond over the past month. Frank and Joe found it a little unnerving that so much of their mother’s attention wasn’t on them. They had no doubt that she was fretting the whole way home. When their father finally joined them, his tired face only confirmed their theory.

“Oh this one looks like Ranger.” She cooed.

It was a long night, but by the end of it Ranger and Laika were the proud parents of seven puppies. Dr. Cohen and Phil said their goodbyes and left the family. Ranger sat by Fenton, finally freed from Laura’s office. He watched his children curiously.

“I’m not telling Gertrude.” Fenton spoke up.

“Coward.” Laura teased.

“Why can’t we just let her find out for herself when she comes home from her vacation?” Joe asked. The rest of his family considered this.

“It’s gonna be pretty obvious when she opens her craft room and finds them.” Frank added. They laughed before falling into a happy lull. The family felt exhausted, but the puppies were too cute to ignore.

“We’re not gonna get rid of all of them, right?” Joe piped up. They had a big house, but it wasn’t big enough for nine dogs and five people. “Because I really like this one, and I think he likes me. Isn’t that right, Bear?” He held up a puppy with a similar coloring to Laika.

“I kinda like this one.” Frank quietly referred to the black puppy sleeping on his lap. “I’m gonna call him Scout.”

Laura smiled at her husband and wrapped her arms around his waist. She sweetly looked up at him and said, “I think we should keep two. Ranger and Laika would be so upset if we gave all their babies away.” The boys knew their father was too weak to resist. She knew how to get what she wanted from him.

“You’re right.” He conceded. His wife and sons cheered. Fenton raised his hand, signaling that he had more to say. He met his wife’s eyes and said, “But only if you, my dear, tell Gertrude about the puppies and the tablecloth.”

Laura begrudgingly agreed to these terms. Mentally, she prepared herself for the ranting and raving she would have to endure. Her sons were happy. That’s all that mattered.

#second one down #I hope this makes up for it #the sims got me in the mood for this one #the hardy boys #hardy boys #nancy drew #clue crew #frank hardy #joe hardy #fenton hardy #laura hardy #fanfiction

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cobalt-penguin · 4 years ago

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y’know what i’m still feeling annoyed and petty, plus i’m stuck inside and it’s storming out so why not type out a checklist of what everyone in TOW did to me.

since i am mean and manipulative, petty and pathetic, and so much more? why not bring up some old beef and give ya’ll something to eat.

Gansey: tried repeatedly to instigate drama -- if not actively break up -- my OC ships by encouraging -- through IC shenanigans -- cheating and lying. One of these happened while I was on vacation with my family and i still remember crying about it in a hotel bathroom because i thought one of my few ships in the RP was over and I hadn’t even been asked about it. This also included trying to get his OC Tomas to make IC/OOC (hey you can feign innocence when it’s in that dubiously OOC space, until its receptive in which case you can say it was IC the whole time!) at one of my ship partner’s OCs. Made repeated fat jokes at one of my fat characters (the same one they were clearly trying to get away from their partner...hmm...). Claimed I was always running to vague on my personal. Fair enough, I did, but they did the same thing. In poem form. Never answered my message about leaving the RP group because they felt ‘disrespected” by it. Repeatedly including untagged dubcon/noncon elements on the dashboard and triggering me. Lying to Ivy and me about having a full Overwatch party then trying to say “oh it just emptied you can join now”. hid this “FAR” idea from the rest of the RP community and then played coy when they got found out and asked about it by another anon (not me). Made fun of other RP groups in Tumblr tags then, when I asked them and their friends not to, was told “we’re a step above them.” Saying I was excluding them from things when I asked to play OW with them AND invited them to my horror RP group AND, only months beforehand, were inviting them to my Marvel RP??Trying to emotionally manipulate me through threatening to kill characters they had obviously grown tired of playing (probably because their major connections were to me and not their other friends) -- “haha i’m probably going to kill (my oc) idk but doesn’t that make you upset?? what will (your character) even do??” Engaging in nasty “”IC”” interactions with my character, basically telling me, through them, off, and being supported by the entire community in doing so. All of this really hurt me because I considered Gansey a friend and a major inspiration at one point in my life. Someone I non-jokingly looked up to and trusted. I feel like Gansey left TAR, our first RP group, because of how controlling, self-interested, petty, and mean-spirited the admins there were. That they were limiting other people’s creativity while building up their own narrative -- everyone else just there to be their audience. But you and Roman literally became Usa and Jen. Congrats. You lived long enough to become everything you’d rebelled against. And yes Gansey -- I saw all of your messages to everyone. Emotionally manipulating others -- telling them how terrible you are you don’t deserve their friendship, but would like to -- isn’t an apology. Its a tactic. Do better in the future. And despite me “blocking” you? There were a hundred ways to still reach out to me if that was what you really wanted. But let’s be real. It wasn’t. That was part of your gambit to. Goodbye.

Rosie: asked literally EVERYONE about what had happened with the ““TOW explosion”” except me. never even asked my side of the story. Rosie I don’t even get because the other admins treated her like shit -- making her do all the coding and technical components for the entire RP -- but she was still defending them to the end. Okay. And then to treat Shelly like utter SHIT even though Reyne was running her passive-aggressive mouth off about people who couldn't even defend themselves? Amazing. Yeah, she’s the bully. Your perspective was so twitested by your biases that you were ready to victim blame Shelly just because Reyne had to run at the sight of someone actually throwing their bulltshit back at them.

Reyne: Like Gansey, frequently indulged in cheating/cucking scnearios for fun -- again, including my own characters without asking or telling me. Don’t think Reyne ever apologized for this, IC or OOC. Dropped ships with me repeatedly -- leaving the group even -- without a word. Passive-aggressive to the max. Made a ship with Gansey just to play out her Teen Wolf OTP -- something that will never not be funny to me, when she called Gansey’s “character” Stiles. Smooth.

Frankii: Repeatedly dropped me and my characters from plots. Gave me one of the most hurtful comments of my RP community by essentially being like “maybe if your plots and characters weren’t so confusing than more people would want to RP with you.” Invited to join my horror RP group and never made a character. also told me this after Gansey wrote that enormous callout about me, that Roman piggybacked on while the getting was good: “also I'm not here to advocate on behalf of my friend but I really don't think Gansey was trying to be rude last night, they can come off a certain way when they're stressed.” COOL. The rest of Frankii’s message I really appreciated, at the time, but, surprise surprise, then despite us being “cool” they never spoke to me again.

Laura: I actually really liked Laura tbh but I guess she didn’t feel the same. Some of our interactions back in TAR were actually some of my favorites. I invited her to join my horror RP group and she never made a character. When I asked about this -- and if she needed any help making someone or wanted to leave -- she said she was working on it. Basically stonewalled me over time. Honestly though? Not a lot to say I actually think Laura is a good writer and pretty cool. Its just obvious who her friends were and I, stupidly, thought I was included in that.

Anna: Actually I really liked Anna too tbh but I guess I vastly overestimated our friendship? It happens. Dropped me from one of her plots -- after talking to me about including me in one of hers because she felt “obligated” basically, from being featured in my own -- without mentioning why or talking to me about it. Invited to join new RP -- refused (not mad about this, just making note of it). Refused to follow my new account when I lost my old one because “lol they’re such a furry”.

Roman: lmao where to even start. Roman was condescending and elitist literally from the beginning of TAR. barely acknowledged my existence until he had to.I started a plot with an open invitation to the entire RP group, with a deadline so I could start writing. Roman waits until its over and complains that they were left out. I include him anyway. Roman mocks the fact that I ask to tag or outright remove aphrodisiac dust -- because I don’t like seeing untagged dubcon/noncon on my dashboard, it upsets me a lot -- and then goes on a whole thread about it after I go to bed and can’t even defend myself. Apparently told his friends not to invite me to things because he doesn’t like me??? And then he has the nerve to be like communication is key and you can come talk anytime??? While having me on their public “friends” list with a description about me on his blog??? omfg...I literally can’t. To this day. Actually let this image speak for itself.

Everything Else: The repeated, childish treatment of strippers as immoral (””your character is stripping?? my character is so upset and is going to protect them!!”). The implication that characters who were stripping were also automatically sex workers. The continued references to my character, who owned this establishment, as being sleazy and manipulative. Also, honestly, what was with ya’ll adopting some random teenager into your OW groups? That was weird af. And then bringing some random person into TOW without asking anyone and trying to pull rank like “we’re the admin team and we can do whatever we want”. and shit-talking Meg and me in your “open forum” when all we wanted to do was get on with out lives. Like? Who cares? Ya’ll didn’t want me, at least, there anyway, clearly. You don’t get to exclude me then talk about how disrespectful and “wrong” the way I left was..........

Me: I didn’t do everything perfectly either. I know I could be passive-aggressive. I could be self-interested. I could make bitter comments. I dealt with feeling angry and upset by making memes -- which, I’m gonna be honest, I get why ya’ll were upset but I don’t regret either. I had spent so long in TAR/TOW with nobody interested in my characters and plots -- originally because I didn’t vid and played furries but, later, well.........see above -- that I did focus on my own narrative. I wasn’t invited to plots. I didn’t have sexy vampires and boy band werewolves. I played weird characters that didn’t fit the common niche of the cast of an angst and hookup filled supernatural YA novel. Maybe my plots were confusing but, honestly? It was because they were always going to be in the background. I wasn’t disinterested in anyone’s stories. I had just been left out of them for so long -- having to beg to even be a mention in a single mention -- that I had to make my own. I wasn’t there to just be an audience member to be aghast by Roman’s newest quirky boy or Gansey’s newest possessed twink. I was a writer. A member of the community. And, at the time? I thought a friend. Someone who deserved appreciation and respect.

I know who my true friends are now. We did, ironically, exactly what you did -- we have out own group, our own setting, our own community.

And I still live with the mean and manipulative things YALL said everyday. Even as an adult -- even with everything I’ve accomplished and am so proud of -- I’m still traumatized by being treated so poorly -- for years -- and not even realizing it. Something I’m still working on -- one of the many reasons I still have trust issues to this day. Congrats. That’s your legacy on me. aNYWAY

byeeeeeee

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spiderman-homecomeme · 5 years ago

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lovely weather (for a sleigh ride together)

my secret santa present for @scoliatrash! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, my dear!! I hope you enjoy all the fluffy, cheesy goodness!! Have an amazing day! <3

@spideychellesecretsanta

“Remind me again–and this is in no way me saying that I don’t wanna go–but… why exactly are we doing this?”

Peter shifts slightly under MJ’s gaze from the passenger seat, the car suddenly feeling approximately a thousand degrees hotter. He chuckles, then clears his throat, his hands flexing against the still-cold steering wheel, hoping he doesn’t seem as nervous as he feels.

But keeping his eyes trained to the winding roads in front of them, drumming his thumbs at ten and two, he finally glances over.

“…Because.”

Yup.

Totally inconspicuous.

He’s never acted more naturally in his life.

Her expression falls as she fixes him with a deadpan stare.

A light laugh bubbles up out of him all on it’s own. “Because….” He repeats himself, voice trailing off, mentally scrambling to find anything that wasn’t the real reason for this two-and-a-half hour journey into the country. “I thought it would be fun!” He finally spits out, though he doesn’t relax just yet. From the corner of his eye, he can see MJ staring, sizing him up, calculating.

For some reason–gee, wonder what it could be–he feels compelled to just keep talking. “Plus! You said you’d never been on a sleigh ride before–like a real one, with jingles bells and everything–so, I thought, well, we absolutely had to fix that.”

Which wasn’t technically a lie. Peter thought a ride in a how-ever-many-horse open sleigh was something everyone had to experience at least once in their life. Sitting bundled up with loved ones in the back of the sleigh, the cold winter wind biting at your cheeks and nose, oh-so-festive ringing of the sleigh bells, the horses’ hooves in the snow–it was something you just couldn’t experience the same way without getting out of the city.

Ben and May had taken him once, a long time ago, when he was just a kid. They hadn’t done it again, being as even just an hour ride can cost more the Parker’s could afford, but it’s a memory that always brings a fuzzy warmth to his chest. It’s something that he’ll always treasure, something that he’ll always be grateful for.

But, sound as all that was, it wasn’t the real reason.

No, the real reason was currently in a tiny black velvet box nestled deep in his pocket.

MJ didn’t need to know that.

But it wasn’t as if his proposal was going to be a surprise by any means. For months, even years now, they’d talked about marriage. There was a whole timeline and everything. Year four into the relationship, they moved in together, and now it had been nearly a year and a half of that. Engagement, they’d decided, would come towards the end of undergrad. Then, there would be another two-ish years of wedding planning before the big event would actually take place.

Obviously, this wasn’t a strict timeline by any means; in fact, it acted as more of a guideline, something they could loosely follow. They’d already broken it once, moving in together six months after they’d originally planned to, so an engagement just before their last semester starts was still in the ballpark.

Now, MJ had expressed before that he didn’t have to propose at all, that she would be perfectly fine with just going out to buy a ring together, posting on instagram or something, and calling it good.

But, on the other hand she also knew that Peter would want to do something more… well, grand.

Which she was also perfectly fine with.

All that mattered to her was being engaged to Peter. Why, where, or how that happened? She couldn’t care less.

Even then, however, as much as she loved and sometimes tolerated Peter, there were still some rules.

But…

Peter was willing to chance it. More than willing. In fact, this was the type of proposal he knows for a fact that she’d be 100% okay with, even with the conditions.

One, MJ loves animals. All animals. Each and every one. There’s not a dog, cat, hamster, guinea pig, bird, lizard, or bug she didn’t like, or that didn’t like her.

“They’re better than people,” she’d once said, holding her grandmother’s wild-eyed tabby in her arms, the normally overly grumbly cat purring contentedly. She just had a way with the world’s furry, feathery, and scaly friends--something he’d seen all those years ago with the terrifying pigeons in Venice.

Two, and this was important, this would not technically be in public, or in front of her family, two of the only conditions MJ had set for this.

No crowds.

No getting down on one knee at Thanksgiving or Christmas. Or any major holiday for that matter.

Or her birthday.

No ifs, ands, or buts.

And it--this proposal, right here, today--was neither of those things. The only audience they’d have being the one driving the sleigh, a lovely old man (a one Mr. Matthews) that Peter briefly talked on the phone with about this whole thing. Sure the older fellow was excited about the prospect of a young love, a new engagement, but it was clear that this wasn’t really something he was going to lose his mind about.

“Hmm.” He hears her hum quietly as she angles her body forward, though she doesn’t seem to accept his answer, and rightly so.

It’s odd; he fully expects her to keep poking at him, to ask him why he’s being so weird or, “weirder than normal,” even though she probably has an inkling as to why he’s acting so strange.

And honestly, at this point, he’s almost 60% sure she knows exactly what’s going on.

Oh well.

But surprisingly, she doesn’t grill him for the rest of the drive. Instead, they sit in a comfortable (well, at least she’s comfortable) silence, just enjoying the beauty of the emerging country around them, thankful for the cleared roads as the snow falls peacefully outside.

Though, as beautiful as it is, that ring in his pocket is making him feel like his stomach is about to fall right out of his ass.

He almost–almost–relaxes when he sees the rustic wooden sign at the top of the hill, knowing that soon he’ll be able to get out of the car. But then, when they actually pull in and park, when they actually step out into the cold winter air again, that feeling comes right back. It annoyingly stays when they enter the main building to check in, when Mr. Matthews leads them to the stables and to the sleigh lead by two large brown horses

He almost doesn’t hear the driver telling them the mares’ names over the sound of his own heartbeat thumping in his ears.

“Meet Juniper and Peanut,” the old man says, warmth in his tone as he moves to adjust the sleigh bells on the collars.

“Oh my God, they’re so fuzzy…” MJ, in awe at the massive animals, mutters under her breath, close to Peter’s ear.

“Yeah…” Peter agrees, his voice breathy, as he scratches the back of his neck.

Without any prompt from either her boyfriend or their driver, Michelle walks up to the animals, hand carefully held out as she allows the two horses to smell her first.

“Now, Juni here is a bit more of a grump. Bit more aloof. But Peanut, she loves pets. And treats. More than anything.”

Michelle huffs out in slight amusement, nodding once in understanding, though not looking away from the two horses.

Juniper sniffs once before glancing away, her curiosity gone almost immediately and replaced with moderate disinterest, while Peanut revels in the attention, pushing her nose into MJ’s outstretched hand.

And again, Peter just about forgets why he’s so nervous, becoming too distracted by the soft smile on his girlfriend’s face, the way that expression breaks into a toothy grin when the other, more emotionally distant mare starts to gently nudge her arm for the same attention.

Though that brief moment of internal calm is shattered by Mr. Matthews ushering them into the back of the sleigh.

“You know, I’ve actually never been around horses before?” MJ asks as they climb into their seats, the driver reaching back to hand them a thick wool blanket for the ride.

“Really?” Peter asks, the knot in his stomach still ever present.

Mr. Matthews urges the horses onward and into the snow with a soft click and a flick of the reins.

MJ nods, scratching at her eyes. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure my last experience with them was that cartoon horse movie Matt Damon was in, like, forever ago.”

Peter’s brows crinkle in slight confusion and faint recognition.

She answers her own unasked question before he can even open his mouth to speak. “Spirit.” She snaps her fingers “That’s the one.”

In spite of his nerves, he can’t help but laugh at that, though he can’t help but notice that slight chatter of her teeth when she speaks as they ride out into the farm.

“You cold?” He asks, maybe a little bit dumbly.

She shakes her head. “Nuh uh.” A shiver. “This weather is just lovely.”

He chuckles lightly, and wordlessly, he scoots closer to her, taking her hand in his and interlocking their gloved fingers together, his heart soaring at the comforting warmth that comes from just how grand it feels.

While it is the perfect weather for a two-horse sleigh, the winter chilled air nipping at his face, his cheeks, his nose, turning them a shade of red (one that he knows Michelle would probably tell him was “cute”)... it almost would have been too much for him.

But again, there was a reason they were here, and besides, with MJ...

He wasn’t gonna let this cold bother him.

He gets this uncontrollable, dumb grin on his face, and he snuggles closer to her.

“Lovely with you.”

To that, she fakes a gag, sniffling slightly as she tries to pull her hand away from his. “Ugh, gross.”

“Oh, sorry. I’ll stop. I’ll stop,” he gives the empty promise, throwing her a sly wink before squeezing her hand.

A few beats of a peaceful quiet pass, the only sounds being the ringing of the bells and the crunch of snow. The snow falls around them in delicate, fluffy flakes, the stray ones being caught in his girlfriend’s curls.

She leans her head against his, and he can almost feel her soft smile as he leans right back.

“Is it okay if I sing a carol, or something?” Peter asks, the humor in his tone earning him a light smack on the arm.

MJ sits back up, her glare almost menacing, save for the twitch of a barely amused smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She opens her mouth to speak, but is suddenly overcome, her eyes screwing shut, with a powerful--

“ACHOO!”

Peter nearly jumps. “Bless you?”

“Thanks.” MJ clears her throat, sniffling again.

And it’s amazing that Peter hadn’t noticed in the nearly ten minutes they’d been in the sleigh; the whites of her eyes were almost entirely red, the bags under them slightly puffy. “You good?” He asks.

“Yeah!” MJ lies. “Yeah! I’m good. Just... some.... uh, sniffles. I guess.” She sneezes into the crook of her arm again. “Or, I don’t know, maybe it’s a minor allergic reaction to something. It’s fine.”

Peter wracked his brain for what that allergy could be; it wasn’t nuts, that he definitely knew, being one, that she didn’t have a history with that, and two, they hadn’t eaten anything of the sort. Dogs and cats were out of the question... so was... basically everything else... but...

The loud whinny of one of the mares cuts through his little internal monologue.

Ah ha!

“Are you allergic to horses?”

MJ’s lips quirk into a quick frown and she shrugs, sniffling again. “Maybe?”

“Can you be allergic to horses?”

“You can be allergic to anything.”

Very true.

And just like that, the guilt hits him like a train, seeing MJ suddenly looking so incredibly miserable and tired, sounding so congested, all because of his big, stupid, grand plan of proposing on what was supposed to be a romantic sleigh ride.

“Don’t you dare apologize,” MJ cuts in before he can even think so say anything.

He opens his mouth to speak, dumbfounded.

She continues. “It’s fine!” Sniffle. Sneeze. “It’s honestly fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Peter’s quiet for a moment, offering a silent, conceding nod.

His brow furrows in thought as he bites at the inside of his lip; he can’t in good conscience keep her out here just so he can carry out this little fairytale proposal he’d had thought out for so many months. It wouldn’t be right. She didn’t need him asking her to spend the rest of her life with him; she needed to go home, take some benadryl, maybe have some herbal tea, and get in bed.

Another day, perhaps.

“Do you wanna go back?” He finally asks, defeated.

She starts to shake her head before he even finishes that question, clearing her scratchy, barb-wire throat. “No! This was what…. 200 dollars? We’re not going back just because I can’t handle a little horse dander.”

“...Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She grabs his hand again, pulling him back to her. “Now, calm down, Mother Hen, I’ll be okay.”

It takes some major coaxing on MJ’s part, but Peter does eventually come around, his worried, fleeing glances finally stopping after a few more minutes of dashing through the snow. For a moment, he thinks that maybe the plan, the entire day, hasn’t been ruined at all. Maybe this could all still work.

It’s all so enchanting, and they both seem to forget about the funny little allergies that came out of nowhere. They brace themselves as the sleigh nears the top of a small hill, and Mr. Matthews throws a playful warning over his shoulder. The couple laughs again, holding each other tight as the horses pick up speed on the way down, the wind whistling right past them, snowflakes covering their faces. The shimmering snow around them is nearly blinding, a stark contrast to the deep green of the surrounding trees.

Peter hears Mr. Matthews’ “Giddy-up!” followed by Michelle’s joyful, exhilarated holler as they descend another small slope; his heart nearly bursts at the wide, uninhibited smile plastered on her face.

When they come upon a clearing, and the horses slow to a gentle walk, Peter knows, right then and there, that it’s time. That this is right. Allergies be damned.

Oh, good God.

“MJ,” he says without even giving it another thought, immediately turning to face her, his expression serious.

He swallows as she waits for him to speak, eyes slightly wide. “What’s up?”

This was a lot easier said than done…

Clearing his throat, he briefly looks down at their joined hands. “MJ,” he says again.

“Yes?” Her head tilts a fraction as she glances from side to side, growing more and more confused by his strange behavior by the second.

“I--” He sighs, finally keeping his gaze on hers, willing himself to just keep going.

He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. It wasn’t as if she would actually say, “no.” Again, this was something they’d talked about for months and months. This was something they both knew that the other wanted.

He knew how she felt about him, and vice versa.

So what was he so damn scared of? What was it that was making him feel like that terrified, hormonal teenage kid all over again?

When he looks up at her, though, and his eyes meet her red puffy ones, and he sees the way she’s looking at him (albeit, she’s still a little confused, but it’s a loving confused), he finds that maybe it’s not so scary.

“MJ, I--I love you. A lot.”

She snorts. “And I love you. A lot.”

Her eyes widen as he gets down from his seat and on one knee, something that doesn’t seem to comfortable in the back of the sleigh.

His gaze never leaves hers as he continues. “You’re my best friend in the whole world, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. And--”

He’s cut off with another big sneeze.

“Sorry! Sorry!” She hastily says, waving him on to continue.

Peter chuckles. “It’s fine. I know this kind of thing didn’t really matter to you--how it happens or when or whatever… Like we could have just done this in our kitchen and we’d be happy but--” He laughs at himself, shaking his head. “But you, uh, kinda gave me free rein on this so--”

One of his hands goes to his pocket, smile never leaving his face as he grabs…

Nothing.

Nothing in the right pocket.

Instantly, his brows pinch together in confusion, lips twisting into a frown as he feels around the pocket again.

MJ seems to have been holding her breath this whole time, staring down at him with a quizzical quirk of her brow.

Peter looks up at her, smiling sheepishly with a nervous chuckle. “Uh, hold on.”

He checks the left pocket.

Nothing.

That little velvet box, the one with the very expensive engagement ring, had somehow fallen out of his coat.

It was there earlier! He was sure of it! He held it in the car just before they’d left! Where could it have gone?

“Everything good?” He hears MJ’s voice cut through his panicked, scrambling mind.

“Uh… No, not really.” His voice might be a little too calm, or at least trying to be. “I was, uh, going to propose... But… I think I lost the ring?”

MJ only nods, lips pressed together in a thin line, though she doesn’t seem upset or disappointed.

“I had it… in my pocket. In the car! And when we got in the sleigh, I’m… I’m sure of it. Oh, God…” He moves to sit next to her, burying his head in his hands. “I’m so sorry, MJ. I had this whole plan… and the ring… it was so pretty and cool… and I was gonna propose--”

“Let’s find it then,” MJ suggests calmly, putting an arm around him.

“I’m so sorry, Em…”

“Don’t be sorry,” she sniffs. “It’s okay. We’ll find it!”

Peter wants to believe her, he really does, but he can’t help but feel like losing this ring was just a sign that his original plan was, well, the wrong one.

He knows in the end that it doesn’t matter how they get engaged, that they don’t need a ring or a pretty proposal.

But he can’t help, even knowing that his damn Parker luck might have reared it’s stupid head again, but feel that surprising defeat slam him right in the chest at something failing so spectacularly. That something could have gone so incredibly wrong.

“Okay,” he mutters under his breath, leaning into her comforting touch.

Mr. Matthews was an absolute saint, taking an alternate route back to the farm, ending the ride early so that they could look for the ring. He had his farm hands and employees practically turn the property inside out, looking through the fields, the barn, the very trail they were on.

But they were all coming up empty.

No one could have stolen it; Peter may have been a dumbass, but he would have known if he had been pickpocketed.

Soon, early in the evening, the sun begins to fall, the sky darkening, forcing the diligent search to end.

Honestly, though, of all the ways this could have possibly gone wrong, having to comb an entire 200 acre farm for a small rock on a piece of white gold was not something he’d drawn up in his millions of disaster scenarios.

Peter waits in the car as Michelle continues talking to Mr. Matthews and the other workers. He can’t help but bang his head against the steering wheel, sighing to himself, muttering what an absolute idiot he was.

And his hand are absolutely freezing from digging through all the snow.

He’s not sure he’s ever felt more dumb.

Scratch that.

After he see that flash of velvet under his car seat, after he reaches down and finds that damn box with the ring safe inside under his car seat--

Then he’s never felt more dumb.

Oh no.

It had fallen out of his pocket.

In the car.

Under his car seat.

He stays in stunned silence as MJ gets back in the car, waving at the kind farmers before shutting her door.

She immediately feels his tension, noticing his silence. “What?”

He wordlessly holds the box out to her before going back to his head on the steering wheel, only just resting it this time.

“Oh…” Is her only response as she takes the box from him, opening it slowly. Her breath catches in her throat at the ring before her; instead of a crisp, white diamond, it looks like a smoky white sapphire, the gray color shining prettily in the moonlight.

He still doesn’t speak though, his defeat too strong.

“You found it!” She offers, though he gives nothing but a quiet “yep,” in response.

“In the car?”

He nods.

A beat passes.

“You want me to go tell them you found it in those trees over there?”

Finally, that earns her the minuscule quirk of a smile. He nods again, not moving from the steering wheel.

She leaves without another question, ring box in hand, only to return moments later, Peter paying no attention to the blast of cold coming into the car as she gets back in.

He honestly, truly, cannot believe that this happened.

And now, he’s just embarrassed.

A heavy silence falls over the car once again, and Peter has to wrestle with the urge to just smack himself on the head. He wants to go home, but can’t find it in himself to even start the damn car.

“Hey.”

He hears her voice, encouraging him to look up at her. He does, finding her holding the open ring box out to him, a slight tilt to her head, her lips pulled back in a warm, playful smirk. She sniffles, rubbing at her eyes with her free hand, before looking at him again.

He’s almost confused, about to ask what she’s doing, but she doesn’t give him the chance.

“Marry me?” She asks, holding the ring out further to him.

Truly, it’s a wonder to him how MJ can make him smile, make him laugh, make him happy, no matter how stressed or upset he is.

“Of course.”

She offers him the box, and he takes it with another chuckle, taking the ring from inside and placing it gently on her finger.

“Oh wait,” She pulls her hand back, snorting awkwardly. “I was supposed to put it on yours right?”

And the grin that stretches across his face is uncontrollable as he closes his eyes, shaking his head at himself.

He really does love her.

So damn much.

With that, a ring on her finger and his spirits brightened once again, as the snow falls gently on the windows, the soft gusts of wind quietly howling outside the car, he pulls her into a warm, loving kiss.

Lovely weather, indeed.

#spideychelle #spideychellesecretsanta2k19 #petermj #peter parker x michelle jones #peter parker #michelle jones #secret santa!!#hope you like it!!

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revisitedgrunt · 5 years ago

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Harley and Ivy.

A new fans thoughts on this relationship and the Harley Quinn comic: Part 1 of 4.

On a whim I picked up Harley Quinn: Volume 1: Hot in the City, last month. I thought it was fantastic and immediately brought volumes 2 - 6. I've just now read issue 63 and I'm caught up with the current run.

I absolutely loved the 2013-2016 run. It's probably the most consistently good run of comics I've ever read. Amanda Connor and Jimmy Palmiotti do an absolutely amazing job. I loved the way they wrote Harley, I loved the supporting characters, I loved the location and I loved every story.

Their time on the current run was also phenomenal. I had a great time reading issues 1 to 34. Frank Teiri's short run was fine and Sam Humphries work... I'll come back to that later.

I had heard that there were Harley/Ivy shippers, but, to be honest, I thought it was an unsubstantiated ship. Fan's shipping them because they thought they looked cute together and not because there was anything of substance there. I was very wrong,

Ivy is introduced in issue 2, very, very early in the series. In her very first appearance, her very first interaction with Harley is pretty flirty.

There's talk of kissing, Ivy being cool seeing Harley's beaver, seeming a but disappointed when it's an actual beaver. Bernie's sexual innuendo to Ivy, bearing in mind the things Bernie says are an extension of Harley's mind.

Yeah, that was a lot for one scene, their very first scene. I now understood why people shipped them. However, I wasn't fully on board yet.

Harley and Ivy have a fun adventure saving some animals from a shelter. Harley decides to adopt them all, and Ivy, thoughtfully, creates a park in Harley's building for the animals.

There's also this scene. Wow, this scene.

Harley and Ivy spend the night on the beach together, which, to me, seems inherently romantic. Ivy looking over at Harley and, being so overwhelmed by what she sees, can't help but kiss her and call her “My cute, little psycho.” That's pretty damn gay. I'm sure some could argue that it was plutonic, but, come on! No one does that to someone they only have plutonic feelings for.

This scene convinced me Ivy loves Harley. It also happens in Ivy's first appearance. It seems to me that Amanda and Jimmy wanted to establish this immediately.

In issue 3 we see that Ivy has left Harley some plants, which is very sweet.

Issue 7 gives us more flirting from Harley.

Issue 15 has a pretty interesting scene.

Harley's upset that she had to cancel her date with Mason and is worried the relationship is over. Ivy is really supportive and gives her some good advice. Things then turn pretty sexual, pretty quickly. “Is that your hand?” “Is that yours?” “Are you gonna get off?” “Are you?”. Oh my god! Sure, they'd both been drinking, but they weren't drunk. This scene would seem to indicate that, if nothing else, they have a physical attraction to each other.

The knock on the door is Mason. He and Harley reschedule their date and Ivy is happy for her. I was a bit confused at this point. Considering Ivy exhibits no hurt or jealously that Harley wants to date someone else, I thought that I was wrong about Ivy's feelings for Harley.

The Road Trip Special gives us this.

Harley seems very happy that Ivy has taken off her dress. It's more evidence that Harley is physically attracted to Ivy.

The Road Trip Special also has Ivy being really supportive. She gives Harley a photo album Harley's dead uncle had kept, and she regrows a dead tree on Harley's aunt and uncles grave.

The Annual has a pretty momentous scene. Ivy's been locked up in Arkham and Harley goes to break her out. Harley finds out Ivy has been brainwashed, and this happens.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure this is the first time the two have kissed in the prime canon timeline. I'm a bit conflicted about this scene. It would seem to indicate Harley has romantic feelings for Ivy, The sound effect indicates it's a big, passionate kiss, not a peck on the lips. Harley also cups the back of Ivy's neck, which is an intimate gesture. In addition, Harley thinks this kiss will cure Ivy, which makes me think about Sleeping Beauty and true love. However, while it's amazing and romantic that Harley thinks this, Ivy isn't an active participant, the two aren't sharing a kiss, which is a little disappointing.

Harley and Ivy have a heart to heart in issue 25.

My immediate take away from this scene is that Harley has no problem whatsoever being naked in front of Ivy.

Ivy expresses a lot of care, concern and respect for Harley. She doesn't want her to break into Arkham alone, but she respects Harley's decision to do so. After the Joker, this sort of care and respect is exactly what Harley needs.

Harley talks about the Joker and how she still has some for love for him. At the same time, the reason she's doing this is she loves Mason. Harley jokes about Ivy loving her and asks if Ivy wants to feel her up. Ivy's response made me spit out my drink. How do they know where that leads? Just how physical have they got with each other? Anyway, there is a lot of sexual innuendo here, and with everything that's come before, reinforces the fact that these two are sexually attracted to each other

A later scene from issue 25 gave me clarity on Ivy's feelings for Harley.

The question “Jealous?” implies that Madame Macabre knows Ivy has feelings for Harley. This means I was right about Ivy loving Harley. However, it's also much more than I expected. Ivy has that special kind of love for Harley. The unselfish kind, where you just want the person you love to be happy, even if they're not with you.

I really liked Ivy before, this scene made me fall in love with her.

Ivy continues to be awesome in issue 29.

Despite having limited time, she finds the time to see Harley and make sure she's OK, demonstrating again how caring and supportive she is. Ivy's also all over Harley, something Harley does not mind.

In case I had any lingering doubts that Harley has a physical attraction for Ivy, she says two things here that confirm it for me. She expresses disappointment that Ivy can't stay overnight as she could “use the attention.” Shortly after she tries to convince Ivy to spend the night. Now, I may have a dirty mind, but it seems to me like Harley is after sex here. There are several ways Amanda and Jimmy could have worded this to make it less sexual, they didn't do that.

Interestingly, Harley also says she misses Ivy more than Mason. I don't think she's telling Ivy what she wants to hear, that's not the type of relationship they have. So, if we take her at her word, she misses Ivy more than a guy she was in love with. That would seem to be a pretty big hint about how much Harley cares for Ivy. This, along with the kiss scene in the annual, convinced me that Harley has romantic feelings for Ivy, not just sexual ones.

So Harley is polyamorous? Non-monogamous? She loved Mason and she loved Ivy. She had lines of dialogue that indicted she wanted to sleep with both of them. Harley and Ivy didn't talk about dating, but Ivy says several times how busy she is, so maybe it's just not the right time for them. Harley, being non-monogamous and caring about both of them, is happy to date the one who has the time to be in a relationship. Or I could be completely wrong.

Just a quick word about Mason. He was fine, obviously a better boyfriend than that Joker, but he was pretty boring and certainly not a standout character.

Issue 30, the last one in the original run, ends with Harley and Ivy sitting in a tree. They are sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Yep, Amanda and Jimmy went there. Subtlety was completely thrown out the window. Haley and Ivy, sitting in a tree. Also, Ivy knows Harley isn't furry. Wow!

I cannot express how much I love the 2013-2016 run. Every issue is so much fun.

It's pretty wild to me how caring, supportive and loving Ivy was the entire run. Amanda and Jimmy immediately establish how much Ivy cares for Harley. By the end of the run, it's clear to me that Harley has similar feelings. Given how popular these two character are, I have to salute DC for letting them write Harley and Ivy this way. I'm sure some people could argue that they are just really, really good friends, but when you actually read the comic, they act pretty damn gay.

Thanks for reading. Part 2 will be my thoughts on the current run

#harley quinn #poison ivy #harlivy

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evilrubberducke · 5 years ago

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Strangers in a Strange Land- Chapter 5- Miasma

Art by the lovely @wolfy1298!

After Quite a while, chapter 5 is up! Sorry it took so long, but I hope the chapter length makes up for it a little.

In this chapter, a celebration is had, a new area is explored, and a careless action has consequences

Read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20280019/chapters/54112678

Read it on FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13365894/5/Strangers-in-a-Strange-Land

Teaser under cut.

"Everything looks good," the medic said, making a final note on the form she was filling out before handing it to Izuku, "Congratulations, Mr. Midoriya. You're cleared for active duty."

Izuku let out a sigh of relief while Mina cheered loudly. He'd been feeling perfectly fine for nearly a week now, but it was nice to finally have official confirmation.

"Yes, yes, We're all very excited," the medic said dryly. "Now, how about you two get going and stop disturbing the other patients?"

"Sorry!" Mina chirped, with a smile on her face that said she was anything but, "C'mon Izuku! Let's bounce!"

She grabbed his arm and practically dragged him out of the medical ward, to the great amusement of the rest of the patients. The laughter that followed the pair out of the building caused Izuku to flush with embarrassment. Well, that and the fact that he was hyper aware of the way Mina was gripping his hand.

The revelation that he had fallen for Mina had made things much more difficult for Izuku. So many interactions seemed to take on a different tone now, from their simple daily chats to their sleeping arrangements.

During his convalescence, Mina had taken to sleeping at the foot of his bed, next to or sometimes even on top of his feet. At first Izuku had thought little of the gesture. Mina had been shaken by the encounter with the Kirin and felt guilty for leading them into the fight. As time had passed, however, and she made no move to return to her own bed Izuku had become more and more aware of her presence every night. She might be stuck in a feline body, but he couldn't ignore the fact that he was spending every night in bed with a girl, or the fact that her original form had been quite pretty.

"So," Mina said, jolting him from his thoughts, "What do you wanna do first? There's a big battle going down in the arena between some A-listers and a pair of Paolumu, so we could go watch that, or we could go fishing again. I heard someone spotted a platinum fish by the docks the other day. Or we could do something else. I'm open to ideas!"

"Mina, we should probably report to the Commander first. He should know that I'm back to full health."

"Fiiiiiiine," Mina sighed, "you're right. But then we're gonna do something fun and not work related to celebrate!"

"Sounds good," Izuku said with a small smile.

"Hey you two!" the Field Team Leader called, waving them up to the command section of the Tradeyard, "What mischief are you up to today?"

"Actually, we came to see you and the Commander," Izuku replied, "I was just cleared for active duty, so we came to let you know."

"Excellent news!" the Commander said, looking up from the stack of papers he was perusing "Tell me, are you up for exploring a new area?"

Izuku and MIna didn't even have to look at each other to confirm. They both nodded in perfect synchronization.

"Perfect," the Commander said. "Now, while you've been recuperating, our best technicians have been working hard to transform the Third Fleet's Research Base into an aerial research platform, a task that was completed several days ago. Finally, the area beneath the Coral Highlands is open for exploration."

"Ooooh!" Mina said, "What's it like? Is it as pretty as the Highlands?"

"Not quite," he replied with a chuckle, "The first reports describe it as an area dominated by decay and effluvium, earning it the tentative title of 'The Rotten Vale'"

"Oh come on!" Mina cried, throwing her paws up in dismay, "Why does this place have to keep jerking me around? We get one nice place to explore, and then it's back to the pits!"

"The pits is actually a fairly accurate description," the Field Team Leader cut in before she could continue her rant. "We know the Vale runs deep; we're just not sure how deep. The effluvium gets thicker as you go down, and our scouts are having a tough time dealing with it. Apparently it can sap your energy pretty quickly, and our standard issue masks aren't doing much to combat it. The second fleet is working on improvements, but it might take a while."

"And we can't afford a delay like that if we hope to pick up Zorah Magdaros's trail in time to reach it," the Commander said. "Which is why we're sending our best hunters to search for a way through or around the effluvium. If the two of you are willing, you can leave at first light for the Research Base, and travel with them to the Vale."

Izuku frowned. "Sir, if you're sending your best hunters, won't we just get in their way?"

A rare smile touched the Commander's lips while the Field Team Leader laughed openly, slapping his knee in amusement. Before Izuku could ask what was so funny, a furry elbow lodged itself in his stomach, causing him to fold in on himself in pain.

"He means us, you humble idiot!" Mina hissed.

Izuku flushed with embarrassment, both from his mistake and from the high praise. "S-sir... we, er, I don't—"

The Commander held up a hand to forestall Izuku's objections. "Let me stop you right there Mr. Midoriya. I've had reports from the ecological research team, the resource center, the Lynian Researcher, and the Chef, all of which were practically glowing and demanded that the two of you be assigned to their division on a permanent basis. You've earned every bit of praise and then some, believe me."

Izuku swallowed, pushing down his embarrassment as best he could. He wasn't entirely successful, and he could still feel his cheeks burning, but he at least managed to squeak out a response.

"Thank you, sir."

"You're most welcome. But both myself and the rest of the division leaders agree that mere praise isn't enough. Thankfully, the perfect opportunity to reward your hard work has presented itself. As you may be aware, the Fifth Fleet ended up being quite a bit larger than we expected, which has left us short on housing space, and the barracks rather packed. Recently, though, a private room in one of the more established districts of Astera has opened up, and we've agreed that you should be the ones to take it over. So, what do you say?"

"We'll take it!" Mina said, before Izuku could politely decline. He shot her a questioning look, and she shrugged. "What? I'm tired of people keeping me up with their snoring. I never thought I'd miss the UA dorms this much, but honestly I'd fight a pissed off Anjanath to have a private room again at this point."

"Uh, Mina, I'm pretty sure you'll still be sharing it with me," Izuku said, glancing to the Field Team Leader who nodded in confirmation.

"Well, yeah, but that's different," Mina said, turning slightly away from him. "You're much better company."

Now it was Izuku's turn to look away as he tried to hide the blush that was rising in his cheeks. He turned his gaze back to the Field Team Leader, who was grinning and wiggling his eyebrows, and the Commander, who looked pensive.

The look disappeared a moment later, though, and a small smile crossed the Commander's lips. "I suppose congratulations are in order, then." he slid a key across the table to Izuku, who pocketed it. "Take the rest of the day to get settled in your new room and to prepare for departure. A wingdrake will be ready to take you to the Research Base at dawn."

Next to Izuku, Mina shuddered involuntarily at the mention of the upcoming wingdrake ride, but didn't say anything. Even though Mina had accepted the necessity of wingdrake transport as the scope of the Commission's activities expanded, she had never gotten comfortable with them. She still shut her eyes during the rides and sank her claws into his leg for safety, despite the flights being relatively smooth.

"We'll be ready sir," Izuku said, snapping off a quick salute, with Mina following suit a second later.

"Glad to hear it," the Commander said, returning the salute.

With that, Izuku and Mina took their leave, heading off to take a look at their new abode.

"Is everything all right, grandfather?" the Field Team Leader asked, once the two hunters had departed, "You seemed a bit distracted just now."

The Commander sighed heavily and leaned on the table. "Apologies. My current projects have taken more of a toll on me than I expected."

The Field Team Leader nodded sympathetically "You could always let the division leaders handle more of the paperwork. It would lighten the load on you significantly."

The Commander shook his head. "They have enough work with their regular duties. I won't add to their burdens unnecessarily. Besides, with a bit of luck, my workload may just be lightening a bit in the next few days."

"Does this have anything to do with your secret investigation?" the Field Team Leader asked.

"Indeed," the Commander replied, picking up the top sheet from the pile he'd been looking over before Izuku and Mina had arrived. "I'll need to wait for the Captain to return from the guild in order to confirm some things, but I believe I've made a breakthrough just now."

"Now that's interesting. Any chance you feel like reading me in?"

"Not just yet. For something like this, I would rather have all the cards I can get before showing my hand. In the meantime though, let's get back to work on the supply lines to the Research Base," the Commander said, setting the paper back on the stack, which he pushed to the side.

The paper had yellowed slightly with age, and part of it had become illegible with water damage sustained on the voyage across the sea, but most of it could still be made out. It was filled with name after name, a list of hunters who had signed up for the expedition to the New World. The names on the list, however, were not what the Commander had been so interested in.

He was far more interested in the two names that were conspicuously absent.

Read the rest on AO3 or FF.Net! Links available on my blog if this post breaks them again.

#izumina #mina ashido #midoriya izuku #monster hunter world #my hero academia #mha #mhw #bnha #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #crossover #alternate world transport #dekumina #minadeku #fluff #action

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theangrypokemaniac · 5 years ago

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Ma adopts the classic pose of a Lady by gathering her hands together, for that speaks of breeding. Look at Renaissance portraiture and you'll find many a predecessor doing alike.

When at ease, Pa puts his hands behind him, as they teach a gentleman to behave. Prince Philip also follows the rule in part thanks to the hard discipline of a naval career.

On Ma her waist is a deeper red, as that's the shadow cast by her...blessings.

In a similar fashion, the ideal build of a man is a flat stomach and broad chest, and Pa's pecs extend so much the rest of him is thrown into darkness.

I told yer it was gym in the dungeon!

Let me make a comparison with Sinnoh's version of this scene.

Original picture:

You're too far away. I can't see properly.

Instead of staring out of the French window, maybe more concern ought to paid to the demonic apparitions in the background.

What's this, a party for the Beings Between Dimensions?

I kept thinking the second one is Angela Lansbury, busy blending in to solve another society murder.

This explains why James is confined to the immediate outside: well within observing distance but not too close, in case one of the guests consumes his soul.

How bloody evil is Sinnoh Ma there?

Look at her nasty face: she's like a furious mint imperial.

Her head is imploding under its own gravitational pull.

Even Sinnoh Pa's trousers are an affront to me. Gone is the proud protuberance and in comes a material arrangement implying he's trying not to soil himself whilst also hiding the truth, both in stance and spillage, hence turning his back to the crowd.

Worry not, Sinnoh Pa, you're wearing those special pads aren't you? Very absorbant.

I know the berks who wrote Sinnoh held Team Rocket in contempt but does that extend to their relatives too? Is there any reason why Sinnoh Ma and Sinnoh Pa have suffered the Palsied Touch Of Death wiping 'em down with its slimy appendage?

Perhaps it befell the pair on this very evening, so the boy was locked out for his own good.

Too late, his head's already had the sniff of it, that's why he resembles a midget version of his older self.

As I've commented previously, every single scene of The Treasure Is All Mine! featuring James's parents was lifted straight from Holy Matrimony! because the 'artists' are too busy picking their own arses to come up with anything new.

Why not? The plot's a copy, so might as well do the same with the animation. Flaunt those recycling credentials!

Some are exactly the same pose, albeit in poorer quality, but many are reversed, as if that disguises it, and when a picture is flipped, it seems twisted and misaligned, as shown above.

Yet even that wasn't enough, as their rendering of it is even worse, and given a scowling expression.

What are they trying to say? You think a wizened old dog like that could ever entice Pa's lust?

As if! Sinnoh Ma is blatantly older than him! Why would he put up with that?

He's rich! He can pull underwear models!

Sinnoh Pa would, because he's desperate. Appearances don't matter so much when you're in dire need of a bed bath.

I tremble with the fear that one day the writers might recall Ma and Pa's existence, and reintroduce 'em, as going by this progression the third showing will be even more shrivelled:

Next thing you know we'll be dealing with Link's nan from The Wind Waker!

What is this thing in anime when anyone over forty suddenly resembles a friendly walnut?

What colour is Sinnoh Ma's hair meant to be there? Mauve?

Mauve?!

Since when was she bloody mauve?

Her actual shade somewhat depends on where you get the image.

Google:

Serebii:

Both of these match the old cassette copy I cherish.

What's up with yer screen shots, Serebii? Did you take 'em through one of those blurring toilet windows?

Pokémon T.V. Crapp:

I can't trust it. Each update produces a slightly different version of the same scene. I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

What is it, claret? Maroon? Aubergine?

Hey, T.A.P. isn't on intimate terms with exact hues and all their airy-fairy appellations. In my day reciting the contents of a rainbow was impressive. Doing it in order ranked one as a genius.

It certainly isn't mauve. Apparently Sinnoh Ma wasn't withered enough, and required something to really wash out her complexion, implying greyness but not quite.

I'll tell you of what this reminds me:

Hey Arnold!

If I remember it correctly (and that's not guaranteed) there was an episode featuring a go-kart race, though I don't believe they really exist, as I've never seen such a spectacle.

Sid (the one with a penis for a nose and a nose for a penis) called his The Dark Avenger, whereas Eugene (the grinning one with ginger frizz) had The Mauve Storm.

After a mishap they were obliged to share an makeshift vehicle, but rather than combining names to form The Dark Storm, Knobnose got well annoyed as Pubehead insisted on christening it The Mauve Avenger.

You could call Sinnoh Ma that.

Well there's some bloody mauve avenging taking place tonight, though I don't deserve this insult.

Fun fact: mauve is entirely synthetic, invented by accident during the Industrial Revolution.

Well there you are then.

God is so opposed to the concept of Sinnoh Ma's barnet He refused to even make it possible, because God hates mauve, refusing to allow it in nature. 'Twas forged from the diabolical furnaces within those Dark Satanic Mills instead, emphasis on the Satanic.

But I thought you liked purple and all it's many varieties.

Quiet you. It's the principle.

Where was I?

The reason why Sinnoh Ma has the fan surgically grafted to her person is it makes an easy flat surface to draw, rather than having to bother with her beads, brooch and folded neckline.

Her bony exterior evokes female slebs who foolishly imagine being as thin as possible adds youth, when in fact it's deeply ageing.

As for Pa, none of his colours have been followed, and that waistcoat on Sinnoh Pa has a most angry cut.

His general dodderiness gives the impression his pockets are peppered with furry Werther's Originals, as pensioners love sucking a Werther. Everyone knows that.

But they break yer teeth!

S'okay. Sinnoh Pa has none.

Now what about the physiques?

Notice on Pa little red is visible, with his blazer hanging straight down for meeting no impediment, even drawing inwards at the end of chest.

You can see a lot more red on Sinnoh Pa, and the blazer has to part the further down it goes to accommodate the belly. The shadow is absent because this area exceeds the top.

They've warped Pa from being a fella who cared about his body enough to keep it trim, to one who let himself go.

How people deal with weight tells you about their personality. He can't be busy sweating it off and also not give a toss!

What, is Ma gonna tolerate the possibility of a conjugal crushing as it rolls over?

No way, she's got standards!

Why would she touch that when there's plenty of sexy beasts ready to snap 'er up?

Sinnoh Ma would. She needs a big container to store her favourite tipple of blood.

Bear in mind that Pa is the character when James is grown up, and Sinnoh Pa a recollection from childhood, meaning the old, fat, grey, decrepit vision is the younger incarnation. Make sense to me.

Sinnoh Pa ate all the pies, man!

#team rocket #ma james #pa james #ma and pa james #james's mom #james's dad #james's parents #kanto #sinnoh #holy matrimony!#the treasure is all mine!#hey arnold!#sid #eugene

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ravens-rambling · 6 years ago

Text

How Venom met the Spiders

A/N: So I have really been addicted to @sugarglider9603 and @ask-spiderverse-virgil Spideverse Au and I watched Venom the other day so I was inspired to make this! It’s gonna be how Deceit met Venom and how the gang met Venom and blah blah blah. It’s going to be similar to the Venom movie but with some differences here and there. And yes there will be a second part and yes this will end happy but for now, enjoy this beautiful angst.

summary: So there he was enjoying his alone time, being the loner of your kind will do that to you, when he suddenly got captured by these creatures called ‘humans’ and taken to their planet. Now at first, it was fun he was going to enjoy some sightseeing ya know the whole works. But no! Instead, they keep him in this tube and really the only thing he’s felt since he has arrived is pain! The nerve of them right? Once he gets out of here he will show them what mistake they made messing with Venom.

WC: 2,438

ships: Romantic RED/ Remilceit

warnings: Crying, Angst, Violence, Mentions of puking, Mentions of body horror, Cracked bones, uuuhhhh idk?

Tag List: @punsterterry @frostedlover @stormcrawler75 @mutechild @mycatshuman @panicattheeverywhere15 @thewinterbookqueen @analogical-mess

Pain

That’s all he has seen of this stupid world. That’s all he’s experienced. And quite frankly? It’s starting to get a bit boring to him. Though he has to admit at least it’s funnier here than at home… Well, he’s a loner too here but hey that’s beside the point right? Point is is that he is stuck on this miserable planet properly forever without the rest of his kind.

Take that as you will.

Some might say being stuck on a planet by yourself is fun. Some might say being alone and not knowing what the hell is going on around you with all the bright lights and noises is not fun. So hey whatever floats your boat.

One thing Venom is certain of is that he was taken from his planet with some of his kind for these stupid creatures ‘experiment’ to habitat his planet (I know stupid right? Pesky humans). Next, he’s either stuck in a tube barely able to move much or being in high amounts of pain which he’s got to say is not very fun won’t recommend that. Then he barely was able to hear loud shouting and was that guns going off? It was so hard to hear in this pesky tube.

Then a voice, “Royal, we need to get these out of here now. Arachne, go help Love Bite. Gale, clear the path for us.”

Venom didn’t recognize these voices… Interesting… They didn’t sound like their typical scientist. He moved more in his tube, maybe he can get one of their attention… Maybe he could-

A loud explosion went off right beside his tube. It appears that that explosion shattered his tube… How nice of them. And that his tube was the only one to shatter. As he leaned out of the glass he saw men rushing around. He heard his fellow people telling him to help them. Screw them. Not like he needs their help. Not like they had helped him before.

So he ignored them and crawled along the ground, he needs a host quickly. He can already feel the effects of these stupid planets elements taking hold of him and shutting down his body. Quick. Quick. Quick. Host. Need host.

Ah, this weakling will do. He went to the back corner human where it wouldn’t draw attention and quickly climbed up his leg. A grin just happened upon his face as he stuck onto the human's chest, he could feel the petty human's heart beating rapidly. He could hear it setting off its gun. And as he took it over he could hear it scream for help but over the chaos of the fighting, nobody batted an eye.

Aw… It’s kinda cute when it screams like this. Maybe he can have fun with this host?

Wait nope. As he took it over he could feel this host was practically useless. It wasn’t going to last long at all… Petty. Oh well, there goes that fun.

They stood up pointing their guns at…colorful humans? What the fuck was going on? There were human sticking to the ceiling and climbing the walls, even some slinging some sticky substance by the looks of it… Okay, this planet was way weirder than he originally thought.

Not like he cares though.

Quickly he turned around hoping for an exit. Ha! There it is. There’s no point in staying here it doesn’t concern him why take some pesky risk right?

So he ran towards it trying to make it seem like this human was scared for his life and was running with its tail between his legs. Hopefully, he was a good enough actor and… Yep, he was. Out he went into a hallway then another hallway. Where the fuck is outside?? Humans are so stupid sometimes with their elaborate buildings and pretty shiny things. How these dumb creatures managed to get to his planet he will never know.

After what felt like minutes of just running through hallways the yelling and guns shouting still echoing all the way down to him he was getting tired of this.

Jump.

Shielding the host he jumped out the window, down five stories building. Which was nothing for him mind you, he can go down more, but as he was he looked out and marveled on the city’s bright lights.

Well even though all he’s come to know about this planet is the pain he’s gonna admit these humans know how to make something look pretty. Pitty that this planet might end soon by what he’s heard. Why would creatures who lives on their own planet kill its own home? That's just stupid.

But yet again doesn’t concern him. All he needs is a way back home.

When he landed in an alleyway he looked around growling under his breath. He spotted a…4 legged creature looking up at him with fear in its eyes. It was furry with a long tail and boy does it look tasty.

In a moment he lunged forward and in another, the furry thing disappeared and he was licking his lips. Meh, not as tasty as he would have hoped oh well. Just another disappointment.

Alright. Step one, find a more suitable host.

“Shit, shit, shit.”

Dolion kept mumbling under his breath as he ran down the street. A piece of toast was in his mouth as he checked his phone. Yep totally late to this meeting. Fuck. Fuck. What great first impression this was.

This was all Remy’s fault. He just had to insist on staying over at his place last night. And Picani wasn’t any help, in fact, he only helped Remy in making sure he stayed. Though they did it with good intentions, after all, they wanted to see what he was going to wear in his interview and make sure he looked okay before leaving. And had wanted him to relax a bit beforehand. Yeah, they were pretty nice boyfriends. And yeah he does appreciate their help. And yeah he does love them, don’t tell them he said that though he will never hear the end of it.

Truthfully they did need some time to relax. It was hard finding the time to spend with each other. What with Remy going to his university plus his super heroing taking up literally all his time. And Picani also going to classes and trying to get his job and dealing with his bull shit father all in the midst of things. Dolion was also trying to get a job while holding on to his part-time classes they literally had no time together anymore.

Luckily it wasn’t affecting their relationship at all but he knew it was a matter of time. Just like all his other relationships right? They will get tired of him eventually and move on. Could he really blame them though? Between his speech deformity of only speaking lies and the fact that he honestly looks ugly, it’s a surprise that they’ve stuck around this long. It’s only a matter of time…

Something caught his eye though as he ran past an alleyway. Something dark moving in the shadows. But it wasn’t somebody or some animal no from what Dolion could see it looked…sludge like? Now, this is the city man for all he knows this is some government project or some alien. Really he shouldn’t go poking a stick at it…

Nah, he’s gonna poke a stick at it. If it is some project or alien he knows that Remy would be delighted to see it, less work on his part. And they will have more time together, right? Or at least he hopes so.

So yeah he slowly approached it grabbing a piece of trash by the garbage can as he continued to munch his toast. This is way more interesting than some stupid interview anyways.

He jumped a bit as the thing moved towards him.

“Woah there…”

It was definitely sludge like what the heck is it? How is it moving? It seemed to have a mind of its own as it moves side to side as if it was looking for something…

“Hey, there big guy… What ya up to?”

The sludge got even closer as he talked his breath quickened as it kept getting closer and closer. Okay, it’s getting way too close for comfort now. The boy kept backing up away from it but it would only go faster towards him. Trying not to scream he threw some of the garbage at it only for it to get agitated by the looks of it.

Then it jumped at him. Screaming he tried to run away from it smacking and throwing his hands up to block it from his face. He watched helplessly as it went through his fingers and went towards his mouth. All he could do was scream and hope Remy or the others will hear him? No that was a fat chance they were properly clear across the city by now.

His breaths came in whooping gasps as he could feel it dissolve inside him. He felt it go down his throat and into his body. It felt exactly like sludge was inside his skin, was pouring into his organs and blood. The pain as it went through him was unimaginable it was almost like swallowing lava or nails. It was burning but soothing almost at the same time. All he could do was whimper and cry as he laid on the ground hoping he will pass out soon.

Then just like that the unbearable pain stopped. But still his body won’t stop shaking, still he felt heat pouring down his face in waves, still, he couldn’t move. His entire body hurt.

“Hey… dude your alright? I uh…”

Even though he felt his body rise up and his hands move he didn’t have any control over it. It felt like he was a puppet and somebody else was moving his strings. He was still crying and breathing heavily as he turned towards the young male.

In a split second, he lunged forward and pinned the boy down into the ground. His tears were on the boy's face as he tried to move his own body off him.

Then a sudden voice sounded in his head, a burst of laughter, as darkness took over half his vision.

Fangs prodded from his own teeth, dark sludge covered his entire body up to his one eye, he could tell the sludge was smiling. He could tell what the sludge was thinking just before he did it. And he wailed loudly as the thing ripped into him.

Dolion shakily walked up the stairs to his apartment hoping beyond hope that nobody will stop him. And that he won’t throw up in the process. Everything was spinning and tilting. His stomach was doing backflips. He could tell he was still crying and his breathing won’t calm down. His own chest felt like it was collapsing on itself. Everything was blurry… Why was it so hot out? It’s winter shouldn’t it be freezing??

With panting breaths, he sighed in relief as he made it to his room. Very shakily he dug in his pocket for his keys, he had to lean on the wall for support as he did so for he knew if he didn’t he was going to fall. Gulping he managed to bring it out and he almost dropped the keys before he could find the right one, which was difficult all on its own. Thankfully it wasn’t that hard to shove the key in the door. He all but practically fell in his apartment clumsily closing the door behind him and making his way to the couch.

Maybe he’s just sick... Yeah… He’s got the flu and that was just a dream… Maybe this entire thing is a dream… Maybe he just has to sleep it off… That sounds about right…

Within moments he was out like a light not even bothering to take off his sweaty clothes or lock the door…

“D? Hey Dee are you okay? Dee, can you wake up for me?”

Somebody's voice… Somebody… Who was it again? Wait it sounded familiar…

Emile right? That sounded right…

Slowly he opened his eyes to find a blurry concerned gaze of his boyfriend staring down at him. Dolion could feel a cool hand pressed against his cheek. That did feel nice… Mumbling something intangible under his breath he tried moving but found yet again that he couldn’t.

“There’s my Dee. Your burning up babe.”

Dolion mumbled something yet again. Before he could even warn Picani it felt like something took a hold of his body again. No. No. No, please…

Suddenly he stood up knocking Emile off him and almost causing him to smack his head against the coffee table. With wide eyes, he looked up to him, “Dee! Are you alright Dee? Hey speak to me I don’t like the-”

Dolion's hand shot out, but it couldn’t be his hand, he wasn’t moving it, it gripped onto Picani's neck. Within a moment he was squeezing Emile's neck even raising him in the air, effortlessly. The painful fearful look in his boyfriend's eyes wanted him to throw up right there. He could feel Picani shaking under his hand, he could feel his gripping on and trying to tear his grip from his neck as much as possible. There were tears in his eyes.

“D-Dee… Wh-What's…”

“No… Please… S-Stop…” Dolion managed to mumble out through his own tears leaking out of his eyes. Anything but Emile… Please…

“If you say so…”

A grinding voice in his head said.

As Dolion was processing the fact that he just heard a voice in his head his hand gripped onto Picani tighter and with one swing threw him against the brick wall of his apartment. He heard a sickening crack of Picani's leg and arm being broken and it made Dolion cry harder. He’s doing this right? He’s hurting his own boyfriend. Oh god, what’s wrong with him…

Picani fell to the ground and didn’t get up, he must be unconscious.

“Don’t know why you care so much about it. Weakling is what he is.”

Dolion could only watch helplessly as he walked out of the apartment he tried to scream to Picani to help him, he tried to stop his own body from moving, but nothing worked. It seemed only pleading would work with this creature. All he had control of was his shaking and crying as they walked out of the building and into the streets.

“I-I am…so sorry E-Em…”

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rkmason · 5 years ago

Photo

▰▰▰▰▰▰ MNET GLOBAL AUDITIONS, SEASON 5 ˟ EP. 4 PERFORMANCE ▰▰▰▰▰▰

the paint feels thicker this week, the air is thinner, and he smiles through it all the way he knows best. because the time to be upset about everything isn’t when they’re waiting to go on stage; it isn’t when they’re practicing for the next duo stage, and it isn’t now whenever he looks over at seunghun as people come on, greet each other, and prepare in whatever way they know best. for minho, he prefers socializing, despite how strained it feels once results come out. he knows last week didn’t feel easy, but he’s gonna make it seem that way right? he’s gotta stay himself and the truth is, instead of letting the win go to his head, he thinks of all the ways it could affect his new partner, nakyung as his former partner, and the others, especially those who think it’s unfair that an ex-idol is participating. while he’s shrouded in red because of the past two weeks, he thinks of the other labels he wears just by being here, just by existing in this space, on this competition.

he thinks about the ceos that have had him in their company already and why haven’t they gotten him kicked out yet. but he likes to think better of them. he likes to think that hyunbin probably sees now that minho didn’t quite fit in at nova and that baek jiyoung understands that he couldn’t give up the name of his girlfriend— or maybe this is his punishment for it. to be more publicly scrutinized than he was. to build him up higher so he can fall. his sister kept insisting it was a valid option. she didn’t think he should’ve signed up and it reminds him of sunmi’s reaction too, asking him why he signed up but the truth is he didn’t think he had to answer. he didn’t think he would need to, because the reason why is simple: he still wants to be on stage.

that’s selfish, it’s true. because he was on stage, because he was in a group, but, in the end, he couldn’t give up everything to stay there. is he so wrong for wanting to do it more on terms he likes? is he so wrong when he knows others before him who have done the same? left a company because of one term, one rule? because there were lines he drew and he couldn’t cross it. is that wrong of him? maybe it is, but he’d be damned if anyone tried saying he isn’t trying to learn and be better every day.

●●●●●● LAST WEEK, ON THE THIRD EPISODE OF MGA S5 — 7월 11일 ●●●●●●

part of him feels greedy this week— greedy because it had originally been guilt, selfishness, whatever else he called it, whatever else it was and changed from— because he got to perform, he had fun, and he genuinely thinks it was one of the best performances he’s given in a while [because freedom while performing is something that’s underrated and overlooked but he had it; they had it], yet he wants another stage, another chance. he wants to perform again. he wants to be on stage again, he wants to see nakyung perform again too whether it’s with or without him the next time. he wants to keep going and he forgets about everything else whenever they’re waiting.

it’s relieving, to be able to let go of all of it, the past, the future, everything but right now.

but he doesn’t expect it again. he doesn’t expect to be called up again, at least not for this. he feared the opposite, being called up to be eliminated, but top 3 again? it’s too good to be true and he’s right back to it, right back to that dumb joke about his palms being sweaty and while he wants to laugh, his mind’s gone blank, and thank the heavens he’s conscientious enough of himself not to reach out and take nakyung’s hand because she’s got to be feeling nervous too right?

thinking of the performances that led all of them up there, the six of them waiting for the verdict, he can’t stop focusing on how different each one was. different moods, different vibes, just so different, and he’s back to wondering how the judges can even decide, can determine one is better than the other. he’s not envious of it, that’s for sure.

this itself feels like a type of punishment. he feels damned if they win, damned if they don’t. if they do, he doesn’t want to even think about the comments, about the contempt waiting nakyung more than him— ever since the duo concept was announced, he keeps thinking, it’s fine if it’s him. it’s fine if the negative commentary falls on him, but when it falls on his partner, he feels like it’s his fault and he doesn’t know if that feeling will fully go away. he hopes it does, wishes it could, but he thinks a connection to him right now is gonna end in pain in the long run.

[that, too, is one of the reasons he believed mijoo should’ve just broken up with him before. how long— no, that’s another rabbit hole. what’s with him and chasing those? alice isn’t even his favorite story or disney movie]

if they don’t win... he’s scared what the greed will turn into. envy, jealousy, those emotions he tried to never feel in childhood. he thought they would ruin him without understanding that being afraid of them was nearly just as bad. if they don’t win... would nakyung blame herself? because some people act like he’s a golden boy, like he’s an automatic winner, and it feels like a curse the more he reads or hears it.

when he hears their names, he gets that surreal feeling again, doubt nestles into the depths of his mind and he has half a mind to ask tiger jk to say that again— which is another fact he’s astounded by, it’s tiger jk telling him this and he feels smaller than he did in his first trc audition years ago. he wonders if the ceo remembers, if he recalls the cocky kid that came in and started rapping to his own song, but minho would believe it more if tiger jk forgot because he’s a dime a dozen back then. now, he likes to think he isn’t. now, he likes to think his name carries more weight, maybe too much, he ponders as he looks to nakyung, unable to help himself when he hugs her tightly. he’s more amazed by her small frame again and he has to laugh at how right tiger jk’s words were— they used their differences to their advantage and he’ll probably think of her as a cat from now on, just not in the she’s a furry sense, that’s too much for him. wouldn’t be fair to her either, although he doesn’t judge if s— that’s all besides the point.

for now, he lets himself be happy, grinning widely and giving himself this moment. everyone else’s reactions can wait— he’ll be greedy a little longer, let himself have this a little longer. a high title is a blessing and a curse; for now, all he feels is the bliss that comes with the blessing.

he’s still on cloud nine when he tries looking for his new partner, recalling the performance he gave with his previous partner vividly once he spots him. that’s right, spicy pork. now that he thinks about it again, he’s hungry just like he was earlier when they introduced themselves. it was cute, clever, but the hunger pain was a little too real and he’s hoping seunghun won’t say no when he invites him out to eat.

“is it too weird if i say i wanna get some spicy pork?”

the night goes by well and they end up going to karaoke somehow— he says somehow but the truth is minho loves going to noraebang to get to know someone. there’s just something different about getting to know someone’s taste through their karaoke song choices instead of talking about favorite songs and artists. for people aspiring to also be artists, it says a lot about the style you like, that you either think you can pull off amazingly or think you can only pull off in a karaoke room.

minho’s only problem is stopping because he has no shame trying any song. ask him to and he’ll sing songs like ain’t no mountain high enough, reflection, and that one song where there’s no line but tequila. that one’s just amazing. he’s surprised no one’s done it for the mgas yet. come on, it’s just magic waiting to happen. that’s another problem for him too, he’s almost enough of a wreck to do it for fun. good thing he’s taking this a lot more seriously than even his friends expected him, than they expected him to the first time around too.

what he learns quickly is that seunghun’s fun to be around, serious when it comes to music, incredibly creative, and minho’s more than happy that he feels comfortable with him as quickly as he did with nakyung. speaking of magic, it’s just magic when you can click with someone despite only knowing each other for a short time.

he doesn’t remember who exactly entered the song first [but he does remember laughing because it’d gone through multiple times by the time they left the place, that he’s definitely a bit guilty of; what can he say? it’s a great song] but he does remember the moment the next day that they decide to use it for their performance and how things melded together perfectly.

there’s a few things to smooth out, of course, and minho wants to write his own rap for it, wants to get a sense of the vibe they’re going for, for the message he’s going for, but one thing’s for sure: he’s gonna love the performance this week too. maybe this is what he’s the most greedy for, exploring music and getting to work with talented people each week, learning their similarities and differences, feeling that passion for music again and again. no, more than that, it’s about sharing that passion and he’s glad, even if they’d joked about ballads. minho could joke that he dodged a bullet with that one but, hey, to be honest he’s sure he and seunghun could make it work if they chose a different song. he has a feeling there isn’t a song he wouldn’t mind working with the other on.

over the week, the more they practice, the more they coordinate, the less minho feels pressured by the memory of his last time being partnered with another male. sure, he felt it last week with nakyung, worrying that he’ll end up being bad for her standing in the competition, but this week there’s definitely a different notion to it, a more familiar sense of it whenever seunghun calls him hyung. it’s not as if there isn’t a few people who call him hyung on a regular basis. hell, dabin does it all the time but there’s something about lately that makes him more wistful and he misses his own younger brother more in the end, wondering where he is by now in his travel plans. he could check the group chat with his family specifically for chris to share his pictures and updates but then he thinks of what chris said when he heard about the mgas, when it got around to him while he was in thailand.

heh, it’s alright hyung. i knew you’d chose the stage over me

he knows it was a joke. between them, it’s mostly jokes but it doesn’t change that he could’ve been doing that. this time, the greed hits him harder. yeah, greed is a better word for it this time around. selfish sounds too kind, too gentle. he’s greedy. the word is catchier too, right? must be why ariana grande made a song with the namesake.

they’ve come up with their introduction for the show and minho’s having the time of his life trying to figure out what to do exactly. just the perfect touch by bringing—

“oh, hold on a second, i gotta take this.”

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ I KNOW WHEN THAT HOTLINE BLING 📱

“hey chris, what’s up? are you okay?”

“can’t i call you without anything being wrong?”

he can hear his brother’s voice and the eventual laughter only faintly, furrowing his brows as he strains to hear. “how come you sound so far away?”

“i am far away.”

“gee, thanks genius.”

“you did struggle with world geography.”

“no, i didn’t!”

his brother’s chuckling sounds closer now and minho feels better knowing that chris doesn’t seem down, that it must’ve just been in his mind right? “hey, come on. you’re good right? didn’t get yourself arrested or something?

“is that how lowly you think of me?”

“nah, i lost the bet since you’ve made it this far without trouble.”

“fuck you, man.”

“language.”

“alright, cap.”

minho’s laughing again but he keeps asking himself why chris isn’t answer the question. “you good?”

“what are you, a parrot?”

“yeah, call me iago, jackass. answer the question.”

“i think i’m feeling homesick.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.” just when minho’s about to speak, chris cuts him off. “so i’m coming to seoul next. i need ya to tell me soon if i’m hanging out mostly with dabin and seik hyung or if i gotta wait for you to finish filming. maybe i’ll hold off a couple days.”

he’s quiet at first, torn between grinning and feeling like he’s about to cry. what’s wrong with him that he feels this way so often lately?

“you there? they don’t do the live audience thing anymore, right? sucks. i wanted to see you trip on stage.”

“no one in their right mind would let you into the studios.”

“yeah, yeah. i don’t need’ta hear more of your bullshit that you’re the better looking one. i bet i land and get scouted before you’re done with that show.”

“okay, tell me what happens when you land.”

“you got it,” there’s scuffling sounds in the background and chris says a quick i gotta go but it’s what he says last that gets minho the most. it was rushed but at least his baby brother still said it, still wants to come to seoul to see him. he’s coming to see minho because he’s homesick, but he also told him: “hey hyung, one more thing. go get ‘em.”

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ THAT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING

when he comes back, he’s in a noticeably more cheerful mood, grinning as they finalize things. that one last finishing touch, truly a chef’s kiss.

●●●●●● ONE STEP CLOSER, JUST BEFORE THE RECORDING — 7월 18일 ●●●●●●

he’s had a few worries this week— most that were probably exaggerated in his mind because, similar to nakyung, seunghun doesn’t mind minho’s past. in fact, seunghun didn’t know much about convex and his taste is more of the older generation of idols, something minho resonates with more than seunghun would probably know. now that he thinks about it, it was his own lack of knowledge about idols and groups and the big 5 that made him decide he wasn’t ready after his first try on the mgas. slowly, he changed his mind and he’s asking himself again if he’s ready this time. it’s weird but, again, he doesn’t know. because, in the end, this time, it’s not about him being ready or not, it’s about him getting the opportunity in the first place and for a guy trying to get his third chance at a company? he knows he’s lucky enough to be considered and for being allowed into the competition, shock value or ratings impact aside.

it takes a lot of pressure off of him, knowing that seunghun isn’t bothered by what follows minho on this show. the comments, the way airtime is given— that reminds him that he was glad about what vernon said even if there’s a chance the guy might not feel the same after not winning the top performance of the week because of him and nakyung. it takes a lot of pressure off of him knowing that he has a friend to do covers with, regardless of the results, because whether they were in seunghun’s studio or his own place, they got along so well and meshed together when it came to music that minho didn’t think it should end anytime soon. it’s almost a shame they only get a week, with any of their partners.

they’re not too far from the studio when minho stops seunghun, “hey, i got you something” and he’s proud of himself for having found it, for getting over the vaguely toxic masculine line of thinking that flowers might be too girly but hey he’s gotten a theme going here now and maybe it’s good luck for him to give his next partner a gift that’s not quite the same but similar, something that’ll remind them both of their performance tonight. besides, a flower for a pretty flower right? he could snort but it’s not like he said the joke out loud, might come off too random if he did. “you know, because i know i don’t have to pull petals off to know too.” it’s an inside joke until later and he can see the weird look dabin is giving him since he hasn’t left yet but he waves it off, shaking his head after saying he and seik will come back for him later when recording is finished. he’s laughing when his friend leaves and he looks to seunghun with a bright grin. now to head inside—

there’s a few things he expects once he’s inside, like saying hi to sakura and giving her his best wishes, even looking for nakyung to do the same, but what he does not expect is for daniel, the guy from the band that’s on the show— empty enigma right? man, does the name sound familiar before now... anyway— to bow to him. before he can stop it, minho’s bowing back while going “noooo” and laughing as he explains that it’s not necessary but daniel seems friendly if not overly polite. he didn’t expect anyone to bow to him in such a manner and he feels bashful for once, more so than when nak asked for his autograph on her convex cd the first time they practiced together. the interaction is surprising to say the least but minho thinks it seems like him, on brand is what they call it right? he’s almost too open with himself, and minho can’t help smiling at the thought that it reminds him of himself a bit. wouldn’t it be funny if daniel walked away from the finale with an offer from sphere?

things settle down and minho’s nodding, chuckling as he pats seunghun’s shoulder at the mention of backing out of their intro. “ ‘course not, man,” and he’s gotta question if seunghun understands just how shameless minho can be sometimes. it might be better if he doesn’t though, especially better if seunghun never goes through minho’s old instagram posts. ah, this is exactly why ahyoung called him out on a bunch of things when they first met.

●●●●●● NEXT ON STAGE, MINHO AND SEUNGHUN, EP. 4 — 7월 18일 ●●●●●●

hearing his name called this time with seunghun’s sends electricity through his veins and he’s excited. he’s practically bouncing on his feet by the time they make it up there and he knows he has to cool it, despite how very un-cool and more cute their introduction is. but hey, get a guy who can do both right? what’s better than two guys who can do both? they’re pretty flower boys— he says in unison with seunghun after they finish bowing, flower pose with their hands under their chins and all and he thinks it’s cute that seunghun is more embarrassed by all of this than he is. it’s exactly why seunghun suits the daisy.

but first up, the rose.

“hey, i’m the fiery red rose of the group, burning with my passion for you.” part of him tries to ignore how they sound like the set-up for a fanfiction or cute manga plotline but another part of him wants to embrace it, like the nova boys would. that much, he does miss. some of his relationships with them, even if one had burned since then. not missing his timing, minho kisses the rose and throws it to nakyung, though he can’t tell if she was able to catch it without struggling. he hopes not. seunghun’s intro is as sweet and gentle as he comes off as and he’s glad for the change in their song later, proud of how charismatic seunghun will be once they start and he thinks maybe they should’ve switched intros jokingly.

his heart is practically thrashing [yeah, yeah, he knows not literally but damn does it feel like it] when the music starts but he feels how it matches the rhythm once he looks to seunghun, because he has faith in how well they’ve prepared, how well they mesh together, and how the song sounds, how they took two songs and made it theirs, perfect for two pretty flower boys, ayyy.

he thinks he’s calmed down a little but seeing a few familiar faces do the point dance from gashina— junhee, hyunggu, kyungsoo, sihyeon, heejin, yeji, all names he’s been learning and looking out for since the competition narrowed down, all just as talented and impressive— he feels hype all over again and well . . . 에라 모르겠다, just go with it, right?

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 가시나 GASHINA &&. 에라 모르겠다 FXXK IT ♫ MASH-UP IS SELF-PRODUCED BY MINHO &&. SEUNGHUN, RAP WRITTEN BY MINHO NOTE: THE GESTURES & EXPRESSIONS IN VIDEO ARE SIMILAR IF NOT WRITTEN !

seunghun sings the beginning of another popular hit song, but the mood is similar, a message about love, about deciding eh, whatever [에라 모르겠다] and he grins once the realization settles in. his rap verges a little from the message of the song, in that it’s not just about love, but about them, about performing, about how they can’t be ignored and will keep flying high. honestly, it’s for all of them because he thinks it’s a message that’s overlooked with the disappointment of the show, this isn’t the end. it can be a new beginning whether or not you make it to the next round and he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t believe in that, if he didn’t believe that one end isn’t another beginning or he’d be back home, or traveling with chris.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 좋아 이젠 너를 잊을 수 있게 FINE, I’LL FORGET YOU

꽃같이 살래 나답게 I’M GONNA LIVE LIKE A FLOWER, I’LL BE MYSELF ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

it’s a message he’s been saying for years, before moving to seoul, before learning how to properly dance at all, before trying to rap seriously for the first time. be yourself. it’s why he loves the song more than people expect— because everyone remembers the point dance, that she sings of someone leaving her behind when she’s so pretty but it’s also about finding strength on your own, a lesson he thinks everyone needs at least once. a lesson he’s grateful he’s learning now, to stand on his own feet, to continue standing on a stage people think he hasn’t earned or whatever it is. whatever people say, he wants to grow, to stand tall and proud like a pretty flower, as much as it was said for comedic relief, despite being said for that purpose, that it’s funny and cute.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EVERY DAY WE PLAY THE GAME WITH TWO OF US, NO CHANCE OF LOSING 행진 충만한 느낌과 [MUSIC]* MUSIC FEELING LIKE WE’RE ON A WINNING STREAK 허를 찌르는 우리들의 불규칙* OUR UNPREDICTABILITY CATCHES YOU OFF-GUARD 지금 처럼에 [KEEP IT GOIN’ GOIN’ OUR WAY] LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW, KEEP IT GOIN’ GOIN’ OUR WAY WHO SAID WE CAN’T WHO SAID WE WON’T I SAY WE CAN YEAH WE CAN 더 이상 앞이 막혀있지 안게 THERE’S NOTHING BLOCKING (US) 열려라 참깨 문을 열어 OPEN IT, OPEN SESAME OPEN THE DOOR

밝은 미래 향해 날아 FLY TOWARDS A BRIGHT FUTURE ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ *HANGUL WAS CHANGED FOR THIS PERFORMANCE FROM THE VIDEO

the cute charm of seunghun comes back when he sings the same line minho made sound more like a rap, both of them putting their own spin on it, and he’s looking over with a smile when seunghun makes another flower with his hands but most of all he thinks of what this is building up into, the climax of the song, seunghun’s high note and how they converge the song together, with each other and his next line hits harder than it should.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 오랜만에 느껴보는 이런 떨림 HAVEN’T FELT THIS NERVOUS IN A WHILE ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

there’s a sense of relief that washes him over him when seunghun delivers the high note perfectly and while he didn’t have doubts in seunghun’s talent, he hoped the nerves wouldn’t hit, that seunghun would be able to show off that power vocal he’s been cheering about in every practice and he’s glad the judges can see what he could: the potential. all he can think of towards the end is this: 에라 모르겠다 GIRL I WANNA GET DOWN

PROFILE / SKILLS / AUDITION / EPISODE 1 / EPISODE 2 / EPISODE 3 ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EP. 4: PERFORMANCE / INTERVIEW

#rkmga5 #rkmga5duos2 #rkseunghun #rksakura #rknak #danielxrk #rkcheri #rkxblue #technically @ some nova boys too bUT #I'LL FIX THIS LATER

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