#fun fact i only recently discovered that a nickname from my mum which i always took as ironic isn't meant ironically at all

[irritablepoe]

they are terrible for this you have a problem and told them and they make fun of you? that is mean as fuck people who are supposed to care about you should want you to not feel horrible but maybe the friends feel badly for you with that look? like sympathetic?

yeah, but i'm... well not okay with this exactly, but i'm glad that they're respecting these boundaries at least. i'm used to being made fun of though lol, i'll take that then ig

and yeah my friends definitely feel sympathetic towards me, though probably don't know how to react bc they don't quite understand? which again is fair, these thoughts are irrational after all (at least the feeling dirty and scratching/hitting part, though this has probably resulted bc of me not establishing boundaries much earlier where i started to feel uncomfortable with it, which is a valid thing to feel ofc but didn't realise at the time)

[extremelyblackandwhite]

i wanna know what love is - 18

Pairing: rockstar! sebastian stan x writer!reader

Warnings: sexual themes

A/N: fun fact i’ve been watching mad men all the time and normally it’s playing on the background when i’m writing so mary sometimes acts up like joan holloway. also the dress Y/N is wearing is Scarlet’s silver dress from the endgame premiere (dream dress).  i have some playlists for seb and y/n on spotify if any of you wanna see them lemme know xx 💕💕

Last Chapter // Next Chapter

    - I’m sorry. Can you run that by me, again? - she wondered if she had taken too many pain killers and was now hallucinating. There was only a single explanation, hallucination. She was hallucinating. She either was hallucinating or he was about to overdose again. 

   - I like you, I wanna take you out for a date. - Sebastian didn’t know why he was shaking. He was thirty years old, he had already asked girls out a couple times, maybe more times than she had gone out on dates. Yet here he was, shaking as the idea of her saying no, or closing the door in front of him. 

   - We’re getting on a bus tomorrow. Unless you plan on taking me on a date from my bedroom to the kitchen. - she wondered why whenever she was nervous she only decided to be sarcastic but her mind figured this was the best thing to do. 

   - That’s why we’re going on a date tonight. - he had to tell himself not to stutter at the idea of going out with her. They had hanged out together outside the band setting but a date was a date. If Melody was right and she had dated a Vanderbilt she probably had gone to the Ritz for a date. - I mean you don’t have to. 

   - I’d love to. 

   - Alright, I’ll meet you in an hour by the lobby. - he said, rushing out of her bedroom to figure out if he had anything he could wear that didn’t look like he was about to enter a bike gang. Meanwhile, Y/N rushed out of her bedroom and into Mary’s room, barging in and coming face to face with the couple making out. Romance is never dead with these two. The red head lifted her head from Fred’s neck giving Y/N a very dirty look. 

   - I’m going on a date tonight and I need your help. - Y/N said quite fast which made Mary immediately let go of Fred, jumping onto her feet like a gymnast. Fred groaned, her head falling on top of the pillow. 

   - Get out. - Mary told her husband who groaned again, grabbing his pillow and blanket and walking out of the bedroom straight to the living room. If those two end up together, Fred was gonna remind himself to cock block the heck out of them for this.  - Wait, is he single? Are you becoming the other woman? 

   - No, he broke up with her. We’re going on a date right now and I don’t know what to wear for a date with him. 

   - Go naked. - she shrugged, making Y/N roll her eyes at her. She was stressing out, she had never been on a date with someone who wasn’t from her inner circle. Her first date had been in the country club with her parents watching from the pool and the last date she’d had was with her ex-boyfriend who took her to one of his fraternity party which was really a dinner for rich people who didn’t have a clue of the outside world. It wasn’t like Y/N could entertain Sebastian with facts about the economy, at least she thought she couldn’t. She’d read about rockstars thousand of times and had been with Sebastian alone another couple but this was a date. Do rockstars even go on dates? - You look nervous. 

   - I am. Should I take the Burberry dress? - she wondered, turning to the mirror and releasing her hair from her hair tie.

   - No, he already saw you in the Burberry dress. You need to have the surprise element, a bit of a nice naughty cut. - Mary went over to her wardrobe, going through her huge collection of dresses. Fred normally used to gift her with clothing and she also had quite a few cocktail dresses due to her job’s nature of dinners with clients and senior lawyers. Her eyes sparkled as she saw a particular strapless silver dress with a slit on her dress and a see through back. It was one of her personal favourites and also the one she had nicknamed her “Lucky Dress”. She figured Y/N needed a confidence boost and a bit of luck. She grabbed it from the dresser and handed it to her. - Shoulders, thigh, back. The wonderful trifecta that will certainly get you a free drink and when used right a nice night of fun. 

   - Don’t you think it’s too much? - she wondered, placing the dress in front of her. - Maybe it’s a bit too much.

   - Well, that’s what you’re taking. Now go put it on and listen to “Pour Some Sugar on Me” to get more confidence. 

Y/N got into the bathroom they had in their bedroom and started to take off her clothes. As she was about to put it on she noticed a bottle of rose scented lotion, one of her favourites. She decided Mary wouldn’t notice if some was missing and put some on before getting into the dress and zipping it up. It fit like a glove and it looked like she was about to walk a red carpet. She walked back into the bedroom to see the redhead holding a curling iron and a makeup caboddle that looked eerily similar to one she used to have when she was younger. 

   - You’re more excited for a date than I am. - she sat by Mary’s vanity as she started to curl and pin curl her hair. - What do I even talk about?

  - What do you guys normally talk about? - she questioned, bobby pin stuck in the middle of her lips as she tried her best to achieve the perfect curl. - It’s just a date, Y/N. Act like you alway do.

  - What if he only liked me because he was with someone else?

  - Alright, Y/N. Listen to me ... - she twirled the chair, making Y/N stare at her as she began applying makeup. - He liked you way before that so you have to start having some confidence. 

  - Do you reckon he’ll find interesting when I start rambling about the stock market? - Mary rolled her eyes as she finished putting some lipstick on her before turning her back to the mirror. Y/N was still nervous as she walked to the room to get her shoes and purse. She took a long look in the mirror, taking a deep breathe in and a deep breathe out. She could do this, it was just a date. Y/N breathed in and out again before opening the door to her bedroom and walking up to the lobby were a very well dressed Sebastian was standing. 

He was wearing a pair of black denim trousers and white crisp buttoned up white shirt. She didn’t even think he had a pair of trousers that didn’t have rips on it but here it was and she was impressed. As for him he couldn’t help but stare at her, he knew the dress was Mary’s he’d heard Fred mention it quite a few times but he’d never imagined he’d see it on her. She looked breath taking beautiful.

  - You’re stunning. - was the only thing he could say.

  - Nice shirt. - she smiled as he opened the door for her leading her onto the lift. 

  - It’s the most varsity outfit I have. I don’t even think half this stuff is mine. - he laughed, looking down at himself. - I know Vegas isn’t the most romantic setting for a date but ...

  - I’m with you, the setting is irrelevant. Besides, my first date was in a country club and my dad was watching it from the pool.

  - Country club? Just how rich are you. - he asked as they walked into the restaurant. They got sat at one of the most private tables so photographers wouldn’t be all over them. He didn’t want bottom feeders putting her photo on the paper and blaming her writing opportunity by being with him.

  - We’re comfortable. - she shrugged. 

  - That’s exactly what a super rich person would say. If you have the money, why do you live in a studio flat in NY? Should you be living in a mansion on the Upper East Side?

  - It’s my parents money not mine. Besides, if you start at the top, you don’t get the thril of climbing up and having pasta with pasta for the twelfth time in the week.

  - I miss that. - he smiled, taking a sip out of the red wine that had been recently poured in his glass. He wasn’t the biggest fan of wine but he also didn’t want to get drunk during his first date with her. - I used to live with the boys when he first started out. 

  - How did you discover you wanted to be a musician? - she was sure she’d asked him that before, but he had never given her an actual real reply. 

  - My dad used to have this guitar when I was younger, a Yamaha A Series A3M. He never really let me near it, I was a clumsy kid. Then my parents separated, my mum moved into the US. One day, I was walking down the street and I saw a very worn out sort of broken Yamaha A Series A3M on the window of his charity shop. Got a job down the road at a kebab shop until I could buy it, smelled like frying oil for a month. - he laughed. - But I got it and once I got to play it, I realised that was all I wanted to do. 

 - That’s so sweet. - Y/N gave him that type of smile that made the world stop in his eyes. - Do you still have it?

 - No, I had to sell it when my mum lost her job but it was a great guitar. I miss it dearly. What about you, why are you doing writing? 

 - My family has been on the business for ages. My great grandad used to work for the New Yorker, I remember him showing me and my brother the article he framed in his office. He always had this sparkle in his eyes whenever he spoke of it. It just made me want to do something that gave me that same type of sparkle. It’s always been a dream of mine to have my article on the front page of the New Yorker, just like him. 

 - Why aren’t you writing for the New Yorker then? I’m sure they have an internship plan besides ... you’re very smart. You went to an Ivy league. 

 - You only get in the internship plan if you have contacts in the journal or if you’re sleeping with someone in the board. - she laughed. - Maybe one day. 

 - I’m sure you’re gonna get it. After all, you’re writing about yours truly. Nothing more exciting 

[buffystylez-blog]

School Hard

Directed by: John T. Kretchmer

Written by: David Greenwalt

Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Alyson Hannigan, Nicholas Brendon, Anthony Head, Charisma Carpenter, David Boreanaz, Robia La Morte, Kristine Sutherland, Armin Shimerman, Juliet Landau, and James Marsters

Welcome to episode three, in which we meet the most beloved of all Big Bads, and Buffy has to do something I personally think is incredibly brave: plan a school function.

Fun fact: Tasche means bag and pocket in German. I don’t actually know if that’s fun. I’ve been going pretty hard on my German on Duolingo.

Outfit 1

I was bemused by Buffy’s tendency to go braless at school. I had a uniform, so I didn’t really understand being able to wear whatever I wanted to school. This is cute.  Note the choice of crucifix-less necklace.

I was a fan of these pigtails. I wore my hair like this to work recently and wondered if a 34 year old can wear pigtails and maintain an air of authority. Then I wondered if I can ever maintain an air of authority given my emotional immaturity.

Look, I don’t want you to be surprised when you see the rest of this outfit. There’s beige. Beige.

I was never a fan of beige pants. If anyone could get me to wear them it would be Buffy. But I don’t think she ever truly convinced me. I had a teacher who once wore head-to-toe beige. It earned them the nickname McBeige.

So wait, let me back up. Principal Snyder has identified the two bad seeds and figures the best way to teach them what’s what is to force them to coordinate the Parent-Teacher Night. If they fuck it up, they get expelled. If they do it properly, Snyder will continue to think of them as punks. Win-Win? Buffy and Sheila are those two punks and I have to say that I think Sheila is ahead in this battle royale. 

I definitely wore my hair like ole Sheila here. When I could be bothered twisting my hair into sections and securing it with a butterfly clip, much like this:

Source: Us Magazine

Wilow is super adorable. I don’t think I appreciated these overalls. I haven’t been much of an overalls person. Maybe I just haven’t met the right pair yet.

Xander is modelling the ‘Big Fat Party Animal’ collection. Buffy seems sad. Perhaps she knows Willow is owning her beige-clad butt.

Outfit 2

Buffy’s creme rinse didn’t work. But I don’t believe that because her hair right now is the creme de la creme.

I respect Buffy’s pyjama game so much more than I did then. I discovered Pyjama designer Peter Alexander and could afford to buy his sleepwear I haven’t really looked back. I think I’ve discussed this at length in another post.

I love Joyce’s robe.

Outfit 3

These overalls look comfy as hell. Again, I think Buffy would have been the one to persuade me overalls were cute. But I think this was an item of clothing I thought was cooler on literally everyone else but me. I have always thought the shirt was genius for painting signs in.

These look very soft.  They look like they might be tencel. I had baggy tencel jeans. They were incredibly comfortable. They probably looked like crap.

Willow’s sporting another reference to Scooby Doo. Xander’s sporting another reference ‘being generally terrible.’

Outfit 4

The 90s were about matching jackets to your shirt. No one really does this anymore. Also here I feel like these colours aren’t close enough. I like the coat.

Maybe not the halter neck. But I was all about sleeveless knits in pastel colours.

I think my dad had Xander’s sweater.

Outfit 5

Before we check in on Buffy’s Parent-Teacher ensemble, let’s say hello to William the Bloody.

That’s Spike to you.

Nothing like a leather duster. Just ask Dave from Happy Endings.

Things I didn’t notice watching this in 1997 that are obvious now:

1) SMG’s stunt double does a lot of work. And is possibly taller than SMG.

2) James Marsters’ English accent isn’t that good.

In year 9 I definitely would have envisaged this for my year 10 Formal. I was very much into Jane Austen. Fun fact: Juliet Landau is the daughter of Martin Landau. And if you don’t know who that is, watch Crimes and Misdemeanors immediately. She is also not English.

Relationship goals.

So anyway there’s some sort of Vampire festival happening but Buffy has that Parent-Teacher thing and she needs to make a good impression.

Well, this would not have impressed my mum. Y’all know how she felt about blue and green together.

Though actually this may be purple, to match her skirt.

If the only way to make this skirt work was the cardigan, then... It’s not worth it. I always think this skirt is longer.

I’m always surprised and then disappointed to learn it’s short. I need to see the shoes.

Willow’s look here is killer.

But these tights are killing me.

Cordelia wins Parent-Teacher Night. Also, what an odd choice of snack to steal.

Spike and friends crash the Parent-Teacher thing and Buffy saves the day, convincing Joyce that even though Buffy’s grades are a bit shit she’s pretty good in a crisis. And she loses the cardigan, which honestly doesn’t really improve the outfit but at least she looks badass facing off against Spike.

And through the whole thing I do not get a decent view of her shoes.

FINALLY.

I don’t like them.

Next up, the gang encounters mummies, eskimos and baby-eating dingoes.

 Until then, Slayerettes.