#fun fact I originally wanted to write this out instead of drawing

[tiredgremlintime]

YUGIOH RARE PAIR WEEK DAY 2: HURT/COMFORT | KISS | RAIN

@ygorarepairweek

WOOOOO DAY 2 BABYYYYYYYY

This is inspired by the arc where Astral dies for a bit and Trey comes back! This artwork takes place post zexal II, where Trey is comforting Yuma from the events that had happened cause god knows Yuma needs it with a hug :)

[bluebunnysart]

I like how today's chibi sketch turned out so I'll upload it! 😊 Tsundere is nice <3

It's because I fell in love with this picture and I get SUPER excited whenever I think I can recognize my AU versions of them (and I definitely can in that pic, down to the expression and height and everything) so I wanted to draw them for real 🥰

My faves 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 (Android Miku x Chimera Teto)

[thewitchblue]

"Are you... reading Twilight?"

You had asked Jason, who broke into your apartment while you were gone grocery shopping. He only gave you a hum and continued reading as you set your grocery bags on your kitchen table.

You watched him turn the page and felt a sense of dread. It was your copy from when you were 13 years old. It had notes and doodles in the margins. Did he read your notes? Of course he would. He reads the annotated versions of Jane Austen he has for fun. Why wouldn't he read your notes? The world seemed to be against you this day.

You were so mortified you didn't even hear him laugh at a doodle you had of Edward biting a dog with the word "nom" next to it. He was almost done with the book.

You've only been dating for a handful of months. Would the notes break up your relationship? You don't remember the majority of them.

You haven't touched the trilogy since school, and you originally didn't even want to read it. The social pressure from your friends became to be too much, and it felt like a religious experience at the time.

You had forgotten about the book entirely in the years you've had it crammed in a bookcase next to the rest of the series, which, with great horror, you saw he also pulled out to read.

"Don't tell me you're enjoying the book."

You said in disbelief. The memories run through your head of your blushing cheeks at simple words on pages while the girls ganged up on you to ask which team your on. What team is Jason on? Or has he read this before behind closed doors? He shrugged and simply replied,

"I am."

You wanted to bolt out the door, but you had melting limited addition candy cane ice cream in your grocery bag.

Instead of running away, you bravely start putting away your groceries with your eyes trained on Jason. He seemed to genuinely enjoy your trashy romance book that's so incredibly dated. This is so bizarre to you. He's a fan of the classics and loves books that he can revisit without cringing.

The book appeared partially destroyed by the abyss of your backpack with a torn cover and a broken spine, but it drew Jason's attention. Of course, it would draw his attention. He always said a well loved book is one you take everywhere. A book with a broken spine and torn cover is going to make him curious.

He never had the normal teenage phase, so he's never read the book. He was curious, and he was rewarded so far. He understands now why teenagers like the trilogy so far.

You decided to break into the ice cream. You tensed at every page turned. What did you write in there? You tried to remember. You vaguely remember writing "yummy muscles" on a page. You cringed. Oh, the horrors of a horny teen.

The ice cream was as delicious as you expected it to be. How could you look him in the eyes ever again? Will he tell the whole family? You were stress eating.

Jason finished the book and went to pick up the next one, but you plucked it out of his hands before he could open it and grabbed the final book as well.

"I'm seriously going to throw these in the shredder."

Jason smirked at you. He enjoyed your little doodles and notes. It was as if he was meeting you when you were kids. He pointed out,

"I think they are too big to shred, pipsqueak."

You pouted, which only made him more amused. He pulled you into his lap and kissed your cheek. You huffed,

"I can still try."

He laughed. You were so adorable. He might have to embarrass you more. He murmured to you,

"I especially enjoyed your note of 'delicious dog meat.'"

You groaned and held your face in your hands, making the books fall to the floor. You hated your past self in this moment. Why did you keep those books? For Jason to show up and read them?

The feeling of dread eventually went away the more he kissed you. You filed away the fact you can know for a fact Jason read Twilight now, and part of you wondered if he'll spiral into the hellscape of fanfiction as a result. You are going to burn those books.

You like to think you ended up with a better love story than Twilght. Sure, you may be dating a zombie instead of a vampire or werewolf like teen you had wanted (if we can have Superman, we can have a sexy vampire or werewolf), but your zombie is perfect in his own ways.

[andhumanslovedstories]

I've been running this writing experiment lately to cut out phrases like "I felt" in my fiction writing. Like I was looking at a sentence in a draft that said, "he felt as if character's eyes were pinning him in place." And then I was like, "well, does he think that or is it true? As a result of this person watching him, he's froze. It's not like a thing, it is that thing."

Oh and "almost"! I'm always going, "He felt almost relieved that it hadn't happened." Well, did he feel better that it didn't happen or didn't he? Or "somewhat", I'm always going, "she felt somewhat perturbed."

And like none of that is wrong, to be clear. I don't know if it'd improve your writing, I don't even know if it'll improve my writing, but I use this sentence structure all the time so every viewpoint is from a voice that thinks about what it thinks, hedges its statements, and offers the same ability for wry little jokes formatted in the exact same way. And I have a lot of writing like that and I think (!) that they're good, but read as a whole, I'm like, "god, they all sound the same." Like there's one melody that I write songs to, so even with different lyrics, it's almost (!) the same song. Something I've been struggling with in regards to my writing and why I've felt so blocked is how boring I found writing my usual way. I'd read something and enjoy the individual parts of it, but then I'd step back and I didn't like the whole. And I got good at this enough at seeing that I didn't like it to do it in real time as I was writing, which as you can imagine didn't improve the process of writing because now I was bored AND dejected about being bored.

There's this sentence-level structure fact that I use unconsciously. A pattern I find easy is short sentence, short sentence, short sentence, long sentence. So I write that. "He [verbed]. He [verbed]. Then he [verbed]. As he [verbed] to his [consequence], he [verbed] that [noun] was [statement of condition]." Which could work, it often does make for a nice rhythm, but it's something I reach for often because it's easier for me.

Just last sentence, I originally typed, "I find it easier for me." But if what I mean is "using this pattern is less effort than another pattern," then it's easier for me. One voice is hedging its bets and the other asserting. Either is fine! But they're different! And, again, GOD you would not believe how many words I've cut out of this paragraph as I write it. I'm so chatty. I love using twelve words when six will do. And that gives my writing a specific tone to my ear.

So if I am bored of that tone, why not try using just the six words? Why be understated? Why be afraid of stronger opinions? So right now with my fiction, I'm experimenting with cutting out as many self-reflective words as I can. Sometime you do need to draw attention to the face that this is the character's interpretation, but like you definitely don't need to do it as much as I naturally want to do it. You don't need to always go out of your way to allow the possibility that the narrative voice is wrong. During editing, I trim the weaker ones (I originally typed, "what I consider the weaker ones" Is that more accurate?). But I think them being there in the first place shifts my language which shifts my character's which shifts my plot. It's sentence structure all the way down!!

(this barely applies to my writing on here, btw. i try to do good but yknow this is a tumblr blog. i'm not trying to get a lit mag to accept it.)

Anyway blah blah (chatty!) the point is I've been trying to write in a way opposite of my interests. Something that doesn't take itself too seriously, that emphasizes EMOTION and ACTION instead of minimizing it, and that clips through scenes at a good pace. Doing this been amazingly fun. I've been having such a good time doing it. I am writing so much because I really enjoy doing it. The process of writing is so fun again.

This post is about two things. One is my new mood stabilizer and therapy day camp. The other is about the benefit of pretending to be MXTX.

[mellosdrawings]

Ok, originally I didn't want to do Twst OCs that weren't based on actual Disney characters, but I broke my one rule because @marigoldendragon triple dog dared me to do an octopus OC. Which I failed, because I did a jellyfish one instead :'D

(Just... pretend he's one of those random jellyfish from that one scene in Finding Nemo)

So yeah, here's my new Ignihyde OC I guess.

Noah Jackson

18 years old, 3rd year

Ignihyde

From the Coral Sea, jellyfish merman

He/Him though he doesn't mind any other pronouns

Signature Spell: Go With the Flow

-Basically an anti gravity spell that allows him or whoever he touches to move through the air the same way he does under water

-The tiniest gust of wind can make him float away

-If he uses it right before he gets knocked out by a spell he just flies away like a balloon with only minimal damages

-While he can stir himself through the air, the people that get affected by his spell generally can't. Only some merfolk manage to adjust and swim through the air

-It also works on objects. His own room is constantly under the spell while he's inside so he can emulate his own home

No heart, no brain, only vibes.

Noah is not the brightest and he knows it. His motto is to just "go with the flow". Whatever is funniest gets his attention, but he never goes out of his way to actually catch it. He just ~vibes~. Whatever happens happens. Good stuff? Great, let's have some fun! Bad stuff? Oh well, let's just wait for it to pass.

Nothing has weight for him. While it means he doesn't get hurt much in life because he just doesn't care, it can be a huge drag for the people around him.

Random facts:

-Noah is based on the Sea Nettle jellyfish. While his sting isn't necessarily deadly, he certainly can hurt others.

-He is only 1.56 meters tall.

-He is genuinely blind but he manages to get around by sensing light and magic. He still regularly sticks to someone and "goes with the flow" of the crowd.

-While very confused about getting sorted into Ignihyde, he immediately got into it because of the lights. He's surprisingly efficient at technomancy and uses speech-to-text to write his homeworks.

-He's pretty sensitive to waves so his dormmates often come to him when they are in search of the best spot to receive Wi-Fi.

-Noah always moves his arms around. His head too, to make his hair flow, which is a problem since his hair have the same toxic properties as his tentacles.

-His stamina is terrible and he has no strength whatsoever.

-He bargained with Sam to get a skirt because pants are too restrictive for him. He doesn't like his Dorm Uniform at all.

-He loses stuff. A LOT!

-His best subject is Flight.

-He's part of the Pop Music club but he has completely forgotten about it. He plays wind instruments, mostly ocarina or pan flute, but he also loves instruments that are bigger than he is.

(Jellyfish pic source)

(@marigoldendragon The drawings with Lachlan will be posted tomorrow, promise!)

[ryuichirou]

please share crewel x deuce headcanons, they’ve infected my brain thanks to your kofi

Anon! They’ve infected our brains as well lol

I thought I’d write more replies today, but got a bit overwhelmed with these two. Surprisingly I have a lot of thoughts and ideas for them, and a lot of them weren’t mentioned in this post because I don’t want to write more than 10 hcs per post. I’ll use it as motivation to draw them more in the future! There is at least one drawing we plan to do soon… god, some of them are better off being comics. Why are these two so good

I am very happy you enjoy this ship. I hope you enjoy the hcs too… I don’t know what I ended up writing, it’s a blur lol They’re spicy though!

Even before their “affair” Deuce had weird dreams about Crewel a couple of times. He complained about it to Ace once, and Ace made fun of him: why are you dreaming about him, Deuce? Do you have a crush or something?? Deuce got embarrassed, and the fact that Ace started saying that Deuce is out there having sex dreams about their teacher didn’t help. The dream wasn’t even horny, but I guess Ace cursed him that day lol

Despite what someone might think, Crewel didn’t really have any serious plans for Deuce or any other student, for that matter. Not because it’s inappropriate, but because the students, while being undisciplined pups, aren’t usually interesting enough for his sophisticated palate. Deuce, however, somehow fit right into his type: he tries to be a good boy, but he isn’t boring – he is perfectly corruptible and responsive, but also eager to please and kinkier that he’d like to be. He is also needy, but knows his place… and he can take much more than Crewel originally anticipated! Frankly, Deuce keeps surprising Crewel and enabling him to put him through a wringer.

And yet he spent quite a lot of time mentally edging Deuce and creating tension with subtle touches, subtle flirting, punishments that felt way too horny even for such an eccentric teacher, all of this. Whenever they were left alone, Crewel metaphorically threw a bone to Deuce, and instead of being uncomfortable, Deuce felt allured and wanting more. And being super confused about this – why can’t he stop thinking about his teacher scratching his nape and squeezing it a little bit while calling him a good boy??

The intrigue ended one day when Crewel basically squeezed Deuce’s cheeks and fucked Deuce’s mouth with his pointer while maintaining eye contact and explaining some principles of potionology that Deuce couldn’t understand. Deuce’s tongue and cheeks felt so tingly and his dick got so hard… It was clear now: Crewel is into him sexually. And Deuce should probably feel bad about it and tell someone, but…

While it feels like a classical “suck my dick to get an A” scenario, Crewel is very strict that even if Deuce sucks his dick very well, he won’t give him an A unless he deserved it. Deuce got super embarrassed when Crewel told him that – he wasn’t planning on… he wanted to get an A with his brain, he really did… Still, his grades got much better because he remembers things well when he sucks dick while listening to Crewel!

At first Deuce never knew what to expect from Crewel and if they were going to do anything at all. Sometimes he would ask him to stay after the class just to wash the chalkboard (he loves it when Deuce anticipates and never gets what he wants), sometimes he spanks him for his bad performance (Deuce shakes and tries not to whine when it happens…), sometimes he steps on his dick or makes Deuce rub against his leg like a horny dog (Deuce turns his brains off when he does that). Sometimes he makes him get a boner and leaves… Whenever Deuce gets to suck him off, for some reason Deuce always feels like it’s a reward. He is extremely embarrassed and confused about himself acting this way.

After a couple of months of this whole thing, one day Crewel rewarded Deuce with a finger up his butt. Deuce was so horribly embarrassed and even though he had to be told when to cum, he couldn’t help it and came almost immediately. They didn’t do anything for a couple of weeks after that, and Deuce was terrified that he ruined it, but couldn’t even tell anyone about what happened. So when one day Crewel looked at him and invitingly patted his lap, Deuce was so happy he looked like he’d wag his tail if he had one. Crewel was satisfied – the pup was acting absolutely brainless and ready for anything he’d to with him.

And this is where the real fun began. Hidden collars, hidden collars down there, butt plugs, vibrating toys, cute underwear – pretty much every day Deuce has a new “game” from Crewel and gets evaluated and either punished or rewarded depending on how he did. The toys and stuff are actually just pretense because what Crewel loves the most is when Deuce is sobbing because he couldn’t keep it together during classes and whined a couple of times because his dick and butt felt to overstimulated. When he gets to mercilessly spank Deuce because his voice was way too shaky during the class and his butt buzzed too loudly, Crewel has the most fun.

Crewel took his sweet-ass time before actually fucking Deuce with his dick because he wanted it to feel like the ultimate reward for Deuce. He never actually told Deuce about this condition, but he decided that he would fuck Deuce if he gets more than 90 for his final test. He worked hard and got rewarded!! At some point while Crewel was fucking him, Deuce thought about his life basically having a porn plot, but before he could get ashamed of it, Crewel pulled his hair and told him that if he keeps daydreaming he will make him walk on all fours in front of the entire class and sit on the floor by his side naked…

Deuce was very anxious about their possible first kiss, but when it actually happened, he was barely “there” mentally: he came 5 times beforehand, cried to the point of gulping down his tears and hiccupping and was convulsing with his whole body because of the overstimulation and pleasure. His eyes were empty, he barely felt it, and only remembered that he got kissed the next morning. He blushed so hard!

[ar-cadez]

Negaverse Megavolt concept!

Design notes and personality rant stuff under the cut. Warning. It's long and unreadable.

The purse thing is a generator (Ill probably design it as a prop at some point considering It does NOT look like one but portable generators are hard for me to draw for some reason)

I swapped which eye has the white in it (even though I usually draw it on the wrong side anyway bc idk my lefts from rights..)

I wanted to make the darks very prominent bc the yellows are very prominent in the original

I went with blues bc it's the only other colour usually associated with lightning and electricity.

The teal parts of his outfit are lights! They glow when he's fully charged and fade out when he's out of power.

You can't see it in this pose but his hands have outlets on the back that work the same as megavolt's chest outlet. He can power weapons with them and charge himself without the pain of straight up shocking himself

I wanted to make his hair look like it's thinning out bc of age and repeated electrical damage but I wasn't sure how to do that so it's not really present. Did give him some white hair though.

His glasses are prescription! Can't see nothin without em..

Okay now some personality stuff!

Megavolt is the hardest villain to swap bc his personality is "insane guy with memory issues but is smart" and it's kinda hard to flip that around without just making him boring? Removing his intelligence when it comes to electricity would also negate his whole gimmick which makes things worse. but I do have a few ideas. It's ironic I struggle with him so much considering he's literally my favourite character...

He was popular in high school. He was friends with negaduck and they were both pretty well liked jock types before negaduck started doing major crimes (though I imagine he was always a delinquent of sorts. Just didn't start destroying the city till he graduated) clash reunion is a whole beast on it's own bc megavolt has the most in depth backstory which means a lot of reworking for a personality swap au.

His interests, like dw's megavolt, lie in magnesium, electronics, and engineering. The difference is, despite being Intruiged by these subjects, he didn't go out of his way to learn about the. He was more focused on his peers approval back then. Not to mention the fact that negaduck was an extremely toxic friend and would absolutely make fun of him constantly for it. (He doesn't even actually care, he's just an asshole.)

Eventually after gaining his abilities he began to study electricity and start inventing things. Only.. He's pretty bad at it. Things tend to backfire on him. Quackerjack has a lot more experience than him when it comes to engineering and he tries to help him out but the guy's kinda cursed. I haven't really decided if it's more dt17 gyro where everything he makes ends up turning against him or guy am I from the Netflix green eggs and ham show where everything he makes just kinda explodes. Maybe a bit of both. Either way it's very over the top and is more trouble than it's worth, but that doesn't stop him! (Oh God someone stop him)

I didn't wanna just take away his mental issues completely because the opposite of that is literally nothing. It adds.. Nothing. It just gives him less to work with. And it's already hard enough to do this guy. (Plus it kinda implies mentally ill people can't be heroes and that's.. Mm....) So instead I decided to change how he reacts to it.

He still has memory issues along with other physical and mental symptoms of electrical injury, he just really likes to pretend he doesn't. He completely ignores his deteriorating mental, physical, and emotional health <33

I wanna flesh him out more but I'd only be able to do that if I write with him and I'm fantastic at procrastinating my writing projects <33

[cosmitton]

benjicot blackwood enemies/rival to lovers (?) with bracken!reader headcanons

A/N: I originally started writing this the day after the episode with “Benji” came out and never finished it until today, lol, so it’s not a very original idea. Sorry lol.

I know that he might not be Benji and that the show called him Davos, but idc idc idc. I think he fits as an aged-up Benji so that’s what he’ll be to me lol. Maybe if they give us actual Benji later in the show, I’ll come back to edit this to Davos. You can think of this as either Benji or Davos, it’s up to you but I’m referring to him as Benji.

Also, I can’t believe that the first thing I’m writing for HOTD is just because of this rabid squirrel that was on screen for maybe 5mins LMAO

Benjicot Blackwood x Bracken!F!Reader

Enemies/Rivals to Lovers(?)

Warnings: nsfw (not full-on smut, just a bit I think), a little violence, Benji being a little shit lol, reader is easily irritated oop-

As with pretty much everyone in House Bracken, you were raised to hate the Blackwoods

Regardless of whether or not anyone even remembered why at this point

As a woman, naturally there were a lot of people that opposed to you learning how to fight or participating in battle

No matter how hard you fought for it, it wasn’t your place

But you weren’t the type to just accept being pushed aside so easily

And, oddly enough, Benji was different from the other men you knew

He didn’t seem to care very much that you were a woman fighting, he just wanted someone to talk shit to

He cared more that you were a Bracken, and, even more than that, you were fun to fight and mess with

At this point, you couldn’t remember when or how this started, but it was a relatively regular occurrence for the two of you to butt heads

Occasionally coming to physical blows

Like right now

Benji really needed to learn how to shut up if he didn’t want to get punched in the face

Though he would probably say the same about you

Despite the fact that you both had swords you could’ve used, you both have a tendency to use fists with each other

“Here you spend all your time trying to prove yourself a fighter and that’s the best you can do? What a shame, Bracken.”

“Fuck yourself, Blackwood. You can prattle all you want but you have yet to draw blood when I have.”

Benji laughs, not even bothering to wipe that blood from his mouth

You try to ignore what the sight of him bloody does to you

“I’m merely being kind. We both know how much you enjoy having your hands on me. Who am I to deprive you?”

You can feel the heat creeping up your neck and into your face, but before you can respond, Benji is suddenly much closer to you

You didn’t realize how fast he could be

“Although, I’m sure we could figure out a much better way to have your hands on me if you’re so desperate.”

You’re stubbornly trying to ignore the feelings his deeper, raspy voice inspires in your belly

Instead you focus on the rage that hits you immediately

You’re both long past decorum at this point, so you don’t think twice before rushing him to tackle him to the ground

Benji’s still laughing, seeming to think this is all a game

You’re rolling around on the grass now, both of you trying to gain the upper hand on the other

For a moment, Benji uses his weight to pin you down

“I knew you couldn’t resist rolling around with me. We could find some place more comfortable-”

You bite his hand that’s pinning your shoulder

When he pulls away with a sound that’s halfway between amused and surprised, you throw your weight to roll him over

“Give up now, Blackwood, and I won’t cave your skull in.”

“You’d never harm my face, you enjoy it too much.”

“You’ve got quite a mouth on you, would that you could back it up.”

“Oh, you like my mouth, don’t you, Bracken? Don’t worry, I could show you just how talented it is if you’re so interested.”

You go to punch him before you come to a realization

Benji’s just laying there

He isn’t even trying to get up or throw you off

“What are you doing?”

“What?”

“You’re not even attempting to push me off.”

Benji grins and you immediately regret asking in the first place

“Why would I? I can get on board with you being on top if you so wish to be.”

You’re exasperated, what did you expect

You roll your eyes, frustrated that you’re not getting anywhere with this

Ignoring that you’re also frustrated because of the images his words conjure and, he’s right, you wouldn’t mind being on top either

“You’re a fool.”

You get up to walk away from him

You should’ve expected that Benjicot Blackwood wouldn’t give up so easily

He scrambles to tackle you by the knees and you catch yourself before you faceplant into the ground

Benji’s weight lands against your back and presses your chest down, your arms folded between the grass and your body

“Blackwood! Get the fuck off of me!”

His laugh is right next to your ear now and you hate the way it sends a thrill down your spine

“Come now, little spitfire, you’re running already?”

“I’d never run from a craven like you! I’ve just decided you’re not worth my time.”

You’re trying to wriggle out from underneath him, embarrassed by the way the warmth of his body encompasses yours

“Careful, you might hurt my feelings.”

“I’ll hurt you in much worse ways than that if you don’t get up immediately.”

You try to push yourself up by your arms, but that just presses you against him even more

And he makes a noise that’s like a sigh and a groan

Gods

That noise should not make your face warm and your thighs tingle the way it does

You’re both frozen now, unsure what to do with that new development

He drops his head so that it’s pressed against your neck and shoulder now

“…Ben?”

“I told you to be careful…” his voice is much deeper now, and you can feel it rumble from his chest and through your back

You could also feel something pressed against your ass

“What are you doing?” You ask again, because you don’t know what else to say

“Nothing.” He replies, but you can feel his hands on your waist now

You refuse to acknowledge the fact that you’re not trying to get away from him anymore

His hands start to move slowly up toward your chest, as if giving you a chance to tell him to back off

You don’t

You can feel his breath against your skin from where his face is tucked against your neck still

You’re breathing hard by the time his hands reach your chest

You know he can feel it because you can feel his smile against you

But he’s breathing hard too

Still, the idea that he’s affecting you more than you’re affecting him annoys you so you press yourself back against him harder

You’re rewarded with the same low noise he made earlier and you feel the same tingles between your thighs

He must take this as a challenge, too, because one of his hands moves to your thigh and squeezes

“Must I warn you yet again to be careful?” Benji breathes

“You may as many times as you wish, however I may not listen.”

He laughs breathlessly and presses himself harder against you, pushing you against the ground

In response, you press back again

And you two continue like that, pushing and pulling like the ocean, rhythmic

His hand moves further up your thigh, pressing between them

Your legs part further without thought

You’re not thinking of much but Benji anymore

The movements of his hips are getting more frantic, his breathing heavier

His hand finally slips down the trousers you’re wearing to touch your skin directly

And you learn that Benjicot Blackwood doesn’t know how to shut up even now

“Gods, I always wondered how soft you’d be.”

“I knew you’d be so warm, I dreamt about it.”

“I bet you’re so beautiful, too. Pretty little princess.”

“So wet, gods, have you thought about this as much as I have?”

You wondered if he even knew what he was saying at this point, considering it all just sounded like rambling now

But you also couldn’t deny it, you had thought about this multiple times – even in your dreams

You have no awareness of how quiet or loud the noises you’re making might be right now

Probably for the best, though – you’d most likely be embarrassed

Either way, you know Benji can still hear you because he won’t stop smiling

If you weren’t so distracted by his fingers right now, you’d punch his smug face again

He’s lucky his hands make up for his personality

You’re almost nervous by the feeling that’s quickly creeping up on you right now – having never experienced it before and unsure of what exactly will happen

He must notice by the way that you’re squirming, almost trying to get away

“It’s alright,” he murmurs, kissing your neck, “I’ve got you. I’m here, relax.”

You figure he must know more about it than you, which isn’t exactly surprising from what you’ve heard about what boys his age typically get up to at night

So you relax and give into the feelings he conjures in you with his fingers

He must be feeling similar things by the low moan-breaths he’s making and the quickening of his hips

You gasp, pressing your mouth against the back of your hand that grips the grass underneath you, when that building pressure finally snaps

Your thighs, almost on instinct, start to close around his hand that doesn’t stop moving between them

But his other hand moves to squeeze at your hip when his finally still, pressing his open mouth against your neck as he gasps lowly

His hips finally slow, seeming to come back to the world as you do

He’s still softly touching you, until you start to feel a bit too sensitive and squirm away

You’re both silent for a moment, aside from your harsh breaths

And now that you’re back to reality – you’re faced with one question more important than the others

Where do you two go from here?

[chocokayke]

Here's Alkaloid for my Splatoon/Enstars AU! All weapons are referring to their Splatoon 3 kits, because that's what I'm most familiar with. I wanna give a shout out to @mdkm444 for making this fanart that inspired this whole AU in the first place. : )

More info on each character below the cut.⬇️

Hiiro

I'm giving him the highest honor I could bestow on a character... My main.

I think Splatana Deco fits him, and how he sees himself at the beginning. It's a very mobile weapon and aggro with a supportive kit. He can easily strife with opponents to draw fire from his teammates, while also setting up beacons, and setting of tentamissles to displace enemies.

The idea is that he mostly sees himself as his brother's "shield" at the beginning, and I feel like having a weapon that supports and takes fire suits that role.

As he grows and gets more comfortable with his place in Alkaloid, he would pick up more aggressive weapons. I just really like the idea of him with dualies. I think he has a lot of fun zipping around with dodge rolls. : )

He runs a lot of Quick Respawn abilities.

I think his backstory would stay mostly the same, actually.

Aira

He's 100% that guy who draws hearts in the enemy base.

He strikes me as the type of person who would play weapons that are meta without fully understanding WHY they're so good.

He started out playing vanilla Splash-o-matic, but he sucks so bad at Crab Tank. Mayoi thought something more mobile would suit Aira, so he recommended Inkbrush and Carbon Roller to him.

Hiyori wears his eye makeup the same way. This is a very important piece of Aira lore.

Mayoi

Mayoi has the biggest change to his backstory out of Alkaloid. He was originally an Octarian Soldier under DJ Octavio.

He was there for the Splat1 final boss and the Calamari Inkantation. He is NOT Agent 8, to be clear. He escaped after Marina, but before Agent 8. He wasn't in the subway. (But the idea of him in the subway is very fun, and that might be something to explore in an AU of this AU.)

He's a huge Squid Sisters fan.

He first escaped to Inkopolis, but it was too overwhelming for him, and he ended up traveling a lot before settling down in ES.

He plays a lot of weapons, and at knows a lot about the weapons he doesn't play. He's extremely skilled and knowledgeable. He's a fantastic coach, and everyone wants them to coach their teams! (Help him.)

Unfortunately, he is still Mayoi and still has severe anxiety! Despite how skilled he is, he's too scared to play alone and is pretty low ranked. That's why he got his status as an "underachiever."

Generally plays a lot of long ranged weapons to stay as far away from the action as he can. Snipewriter is his main, but E-Liter deserves an honorable mention.

Any closer ranged weapons he plays are more supportive than aggressive. This bad boy can pop out so many Inkstorms and Tacticoolers.

I probably should have added Hydra Splatling to his list instead of Heavy Edit tbh? But, eh, he can play both.

I think Snipewriter fits his main really well due to the fact that it has super long range, paints well, and has a supportive kit. At the time I'm writing this, it's also the best competitive weapon in Splatoon 3.

Tatsumi

His backstory is also similar to his canon one.

His leg got damaged and wouldn't repair itself when he respawned, so he had to get it removed it let it regrow naturally. Squids can do that, don't worry about it. : )

The guy who makes sure your base is 100% inked during Turf War.

Me and my friend both agreed it is extremely funny for Tatsumi to run around with his beginner weapon going like ^_^: so that's what he mains.

Then my other friend recommended me what they call "noob trap" weapons, which is mostly short ranged shooters (Sploosh and Aerospray) so I immediately added those to the list. I feel like they suit Tatsumi, and kind of mirror how inept he is with technology in canon.

Despite that, he's actually quite skilled! He does pretty well with short ranged shooters and has fun playing with them. They're his go to choice, but he's experienced in a lot of different weapon classes.

Anyway, you know how the Sunken Scrolls in Splatoon 3 introduced Squid Jesus--

[wooahaes]

when i grow up

pairing: non-idol!seungkwan x gn!reader

genre: mostly fluff. childhood friends to lovers. very minor angst.

word count: 12.3k~

warnings: a minor fight between seungkwan + reader over reader’s shitty boyfriend (stated to not be mindful of their boundaries + just a shitty dude). some mentions of injuries. mentions of seungkwan being taunted as a tiny kid. food mentions. ask to tag! also minor proofreading tbh

daisy’s notes: fun fact this was going to end in a wedding originally! maybe i’ll write a short sequel at some point, but im happy with this as it is.

Boo Seungkwan, age four, was... Maybe a little bit of a crybaby.

At least, that was what the other kids called him--or they used to, until his mom came into the school to talk to his teacher with a tight-lipped anger at the way her son was being treated. Sometimes the other kids would taunt him for being so soft, for crying easily on his first day of school because he missed his mom. He was social enough nowadays, getting along with pretty much everyone else with ease. Sure, there was a tiny group who would still poke fun at him on the playground when he was a little too misty-eyed, but for the most part he was left alone. Still... It was mean, and Seungkwan couldn’t exactly understand where all of that came from.

Boo Seungkwan, age four, also knew you. You lived up the street from him, you were in his class, and you had a matching lunchbox and backpack set: dark blue with brightly colored dinosaurs covering the thing. Your backpack also had this little Totoro plush that hung from it, because he always was a little jealous because he wanted one, too. He knew you because he knew your laugh from across the room, always a little awkwardly loud, but he wanted to know what you were laughing at. He knew your drawings, always so colorful as could be when you proudly showed them off. He knew you and the way you skip home ahead of him some days, and he knew the way you could still be quiet at school (save for your laugh), but that you’d always yell happily when you saw your dad waiting for you... And a little less loudly when it was your step-mom, but only because she would gently shush you and remind you to be mindful of your neighbors. Then she would pull you into her arms and ask about your day at school. Seungkwan only knew because your house was before his, so he would always hear her talk to you as she slowly walked up the path to your home, hand holding yours.

(You’d always shyly wave at him, too, when he stopped for a moment to look at you, because Boo-Seungkwan-age-four already felt a sense of fondness toward you.)

So when he tripped on his way home one day, skinning his knee, he was surprised. Not that you were there at all, but... The fact you stopped, turning back to him with this curious look on your face before coming back to him.

“Are you okay?”

He was crying again, sobbing even. Crybaby rang in his head as he furiously shook his head, trying to come up with the words to say. To tell you no, that he was okay, but to still ask for his mom because she would make everything better...

You just stood before him, head tilting before looking down to where he was clutching his knee. And then you gasped, setting your lunchbox down next to him before pulling your dark blue dino backpack off of your back. “It’s okay! I can help!” You were beaming brightly, “Mama is a doctor!”

He thought that meant you would go get her, especially because your house was closer. Instead, you unzipped the little front compartment of your backpack, pulling out this tiny makeshift first aid kit that your step-mom must have put together. You kneeled down, opening it with this serious look on your face as you tried to remember the basic steps you had insisted on your step-mom teaching you, always so independent.

(Truly, there were only three: wet wipe to clean it, bandage to protect it until an adult could look at it properly, and a kiss to make it all better.)

So Seungkwan, now sitting off to the side with you, watched as you very carefully opened this little packet. “It hurts a little,” you said, opening up the wipe. You held out your other hand, “but holding mama’s hand helps me.”

Face still wet from his tears, Seungkwan roughly wiped at his cheeks with one sleeve before taking your hand. He held it tightly as you carefully wiped his knee. It stung, but holding your hand... helped, in a weird way.

With everything carefully cleaned, Seungkwan could finally see how tiny the gash really was. He almost felt embarrassed for being such a crybaby over it, but you didn’t call him that. You let go of his hand, looking deadly serious as you examined his knee further before turning to your tiny first aid kit. “Do you want the dinosaurs or the bears?”

Seungkwan just stared at you, completely confused.

“Hurry!” You said. “Dinos or bears?!”

He mumbled that he wanted the bears, whatever that meant, but he could see the disappointment in your eyes. “But the dinos are okay, too..”

Only for you to smile a moment later, giggling. “It’s okay,” you said, putting down one of two bandages into the box. “I like bears, too.”

Immediately, that set you off rambling about how your dad bought you this HUGE teddy bear for your room after you moved here to be with your step-mom. It was bigger than YOU which meant it was REALLY BIG and you loved it to death. Your tiny hands were careful in smoothing the teddy bear bandage over his knee, and then he watched as you leaned forward to plant a tiny kiss against it.

You turned back to him with a serious expression, “You HAVE to kiss it, or it won’t get better.”

Seungkwan wasn’t sure if that was true (his parents kissed his boo-boos better, sure, but maybe it was true since you sounded so confident in it), but all he knew was that he wasn’t crying anymore. 

With his knee taken care of, you put away the kit into your bag and stood up. You held out your hand, and helped him up, not letting go. Despite the way you struggled with the first part of his name (which wasn’t a first for him--he noticed that a few other kids struggled with it a little), you proudly called him Kwannie and said you would walk him home. He wiped his face again with his sweater sleeve, and let you happily lead the way, talking about your favorite dinosaurs from the big book that your dad bought for you. And he felt happy when you looked at your dad, waiting for you to come home, that you needed to walk Seungkwan to his mom because he got hurt.

Your dad had kind-of laughed before he ruffled your hair, saying he’d be right there waiting for you. Seungkwan almost pouted and told you that he would be okay, but you turned back to him with shimmering eyes, still holding his tiny hand in your own.

Upon coming to his mom and introducing himself, you had turned serious again. “Kwannie got hurt on the way home,” you said, pointing at his knee, “but I helped. Please make sure he takes care of it because--” A pause to breathe, “--because he’s my friend now and I don’t want him to get hurt anymore.”

(Seungkwan, later in life, looked back on that moment happily. His mom still recounted the story with a laugh, so full of love for the tiny child who acted as if they knew how to treat a patient, yet still so polite with her. She’d always cite that as the moment she knew the two of you would be friends.)

Seungkwan, with one hand holding his mom’s, waved at you as you promised to sit with him tomorrow at school before turning tail and running back to your dad. He watched as your dad scooped you up into his arms, carrying you back inside your home as you happily shrieked.

Seungkwan, at age four, lacked the words to know for sure that he loved you. He didn’t know what it fully meant, or how deep his feelings for you would go, but he knew the happy feeling you gave him was the same happiness he felt when he was with his family or his other friends.

Love is happiness, Seungkwan, age four, decided. Love makes you feel happy.

Seungkwan, age eight, was old enough to walk to your house entirely on his own. So were you, which was why Seungkwan was waiting outside his home, head resting in his hands,sitting on his front porch. While his mom would have him do his homework before dinner (his dad liked to sit with him and help him), your dad would always have you do part of it as soon as you came home. He didn’t fully get it, to be honest, but you said something about how your dad liked helping you for part of it, while your step-mom would sit with you for the rest. You always claimed that you didn’t really need it, but Seungkwan wasn’t sure whether to believe you or not. After all, his parents were happy to help him when he needed it. There was nothing wrong with needing help.

But today was Friday, and Friday meant you got to have a sleepover at Seungkwan’s house. He spent all day figuring out how to make the best blanket fort and his parents promised pancakes tomorrow morning. He was giddy with excitement, growing more and more impatient as he waited for you. The new episode of your favorite show came on tonight, too, and he wanted to watch it with you instead of just talking to you about it on Monday or whenever you came over to play next. Plus! His parents said they might take both of you to the pool tomorrow! It was because his sisters wanted to go, but he was okay with that. It still meant that he would get to go swimming with you because it’s unbelievably hot outside.

The only reason he was waiting outside today was because both of his sisters teased him, and he was still mad about it. They said something about how he liked you, and Seungkwan couldn’t fathom what else they meant by it. Of course he liked you! You were his friend--his best friend. But they had laughed at him (strike number one), only to say it was obvious (strike number two) that Seungkwan like liked you (strike number three). Which was gross because you were his best friend! Like-liking you meant he wanted to do things like holding hands with you, which he already did because you were best friends, and... He wasn’t sure. Kissing? Yuck.

But Seungkwan saw you coming down the sidewalk, holding onto the straps of your backpack proudly, and all of that anger melted away like ice cream on the sidewalk. Ooh. That’s an idea... Maybe he’ll ask his mom for ice cream later. He was sure if he stood up that he would be able to see your dad watching you from down the street, making sure you got there safely. But he was too excited. He hopped up, rushing over to you and taking your hand, complaining about how he was about to die of boredom while waiting for you. You merely giggled, letting him drag you into his house. He called out to his mom that you were there, and she barely had the chance to warmly greet you before Seungkwan was already dragging you upstairs to see his cool new lamp that his parents bought him. Plus all of his toys were upstairs--the teddy bears and the action figures and the instruments and everything else--so where else would the two of you go? Outside again? It was too hot for that.

Seungkwan pointed at the large lamp sitting on his dresser. “I’ll show you it later. It’s better when it’s dark.”

You’d accepted his reasoning at face value, trusting him completely before turning your attention to the instruments in his room. His mom had bought him this little toy keyboard for his birthday that year, and you had pushed him to sing because you always loved hearing him sing. It devolved into more noise than music, but the two of you were happy.

Until his sisters told you both to keep it down because they had homework (gross--Seungkwan didn’t want to have that much homework ever). Which meant the two of you decided to brave the heat for the next few hours, because Seungkwan had pouted and said that the two of you would just go somewhere else. There was plenty to do outside anyway, and the two of you could come back in whenever you wanted. His mom called you back in eventually, asking for the two of you to help her and Seungkwan’s dad with making dinner. It was a subtle way to redirect you and Seungkwan’s endless energy somewhere else, but you were always happy to be helping.

Time always seemed to fly faster when Seungkwan was with you. After dinner, the two of you were sitting together to watch the new episode of your show together, his parents sitting in for a little longer. Eventually it was time for your blanket fort, which meant Seungkwan’s dad would help the two of you get everything set up before he and Seungkwan’s mom retired for the night. She had gone around to make sure all the doors were locked, and had gently pulled you aside to remind you where their room was (right down the hall) and that you or Seungkwan could come get them for anything if they needed it.

The last time the two of you had a sleepover, you had grown scared in the middle of the night and ended up going home when you were inconsolable. Seungkwan had felt bad watching your step-mom walk you home, but his mom was reassuring: some people simply got nervous when they were away from their parents for too long. It wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t yours. Everyone was different. But this time you told her you were determined to stay the full night. Seungkwan wanted you to, as well, but he wouldn’t be mean or anything if you couldn’t.

With a movie coming to an end a little while later, Seungkwan perked up. “Oh!” He climbed out from underneath your blanket fort, bouncing with excitement for a moment, “Wait here!”

Seungkwan rushed up to his room, carefully pulling the lamp from its place. He came back downstairs, making sure to take slower steps than before in order to keep from dropping it. It was this battery operated lamp with a remote and a built-in timer, so the two of you could leave it on for a while since it’d go off by itself. He set it down in front of you, walking away to turn off all of the lamps and to draw the curtains shut even tighter. He came back to you, the only light in the room being from the television screen with its rolling credits, and sat down. He clicked it on a few times, and then the room was lit up with little stars everywhere.

You went wide-eyed and gasped, filled with pure excitement with the sight (and Seungkwan found himself smiling, overjoyed that he had made you happy). “It’s beautiful...”

This is love, too, Seungkwan thought to himself. Love was more than just feeling happiness around someone. It was sharing it, too. His face was illuminated by the lamp’s stars, and so was yours as the lights slowly rotated around the room. Love is sharing happiness.

Somehow, in all the shuffle, Seungkwan looked up and noticed that your favorite bear (the one he gave you, he proudly thought) was stuck underneath the coffee table. It must have been pushed over there while the two of you were having snacks, since you’d carefully cleared the area.

“Your bear...” He pointed out, hugging the dinosaur you’d given him for his fifth birthday close to his chest.

“Oh!” You crawled over, stretching out your arm to grab it and pull it close to you.

Only to pop up too quickly, bumping the top of your head on the bottom of the table, having slightly underestimated how much space you needed to safely get back. You gasped in pain, crawling back out fully and turning back to him with teary eyes.

“It’s okay!” He said quickly, gently talking to you to help calm you back down. The same way his mom would talk to him when he did the same. The same way you did, too, four years ago. He looked, fingers threading through your hair as he tried to see if there was a bruise--thankful he found none. He leaned forward, gently kissing the top of your head before he sat back down in front of you.

“It helps, right?” He said, recalling your very professional advice from all the time ago. Although maybe Seungkwan was starting to realize that it wasn’t magic...

But you just stared at him for a moment, before you burst into giggles. He puffed his cheeks out in response, a little miffed that you were laughing at him.

Only to regret it a second later. “I’m glad you’re my best friend, Kwannie,” you said. Another second later and you gasped, reaching over for your backpack. “I drew a picture for us!” 

“For us...?” He watched curiously as you rooted around in your backpack, shoving things aside before you pulled out a folded-up piece of paper.

You nodded, slowly opening it up and smoothing it out. “Adults live together, right?”

You had drawn a nice little house with a rainbow above it. The two of you, clearly labeled just in case someone didn’t get it, stood in the middle in front of it, with drawn-on smiles as you held hands. Around you were smaller figures that Seungkwan figured out based on the number of people had to be both your family and his. There was also this little thing on the ground that looked kind-of like a cat... or maybe it was a dog. He couldn’t figure out which.

“So when we get bigger,” you continued, “we’ll all live together in one biiig house.” Your eyes were twinkling, far prettier than the ones from his cool lamp. “And we’ll get a pet. I started to draw a kitty, but then I remembered that you like dogs, so...”

He took the paper from you to study closer. “We can have both,” he said, studying it closely. He could see where the triangle ears had been made into more puppy-like ones. “And they’ll be best friends...” And then he sniffled, emotions already betraying him as he was overwhelmed with this pure joy for you.

Boo Seungkwan, age eight, thought that he loved you almost as much as he loved his family. You were his best friend, and he knew this at that moment.

This is what love is, right? Sharing happiness. At least, that was what he thought it was as he later fell asleep next to you, his pastel blue dinosaur tucked into his arms while the projector covered both of you and the room around you with stars. Your picture was tucked away nearby, and Seungkwan dreamed that night of a rainbow over a big house where all of the people he loved most were all together.

Seungkwan, age twelve, finally started to feel like an adult. That was why he liked to walk to your house after his after-school study sessions: because he didn’t get to see you anymore. His parents enrolled him in a boys school, which you continued on to attend a co-ed school in the area. He’d been a little bitter about it to begin with, but he was old enough to know that he could see you pretty much whenever he wanted to. He had a flip phone, he could call you whenever he wanted (except he had to be mindful of how many minutes he had, so he’d just call you on his home phone instead) to ask if he could come over. So coming over to your house was how Seungkwan chose to see you when everything else was over. He played basketball, too, so it kind-of meant it ate into his time with you... but he still made friends that way.

(But he still would proudly say that you were his best friend, which meant he liked you the most.)

The two of you did homework together most days. You would get home before he did from your soccer practice (although you always said whether you were any good at it was up to debate; but Seungkwan said he would be the loudest person in the stands for you at any and every game he could make), so he would just go straight to your house. He knocked, you would let him in, and the two of you would spread out your homework at your dining table and talk about whatever while you worked.

“There’s this new guy in my class...”

Seungkwan felt his heart sink a little. “Huh?”

“I dunno...” You were smiling a little, balancing your pen between your fingers. “He’s cute.”

But I’m cuter, right? Seungkwan pushed back on that thought hard. No need to play the jealous best friend. “And?”

“And what?”

“Is he just cute?”

You had hummed for a moment, thinking over the question. “I don’t know... He answered a question for me when I was struggling with it. And then, I dunno... He just kinda smiled at me.”

Seungkwan had never hated the fact he didn’t go to school with you more than he did now. “Does he go to your games?”

You looked up with this knowing smile, reading him so easily. With a teasing glimmer in your eyes, you rested your head in one hand, “Oh... Kwannie, are you jealous?”

“No!” He huffed, pouting at your words. “I just... He...” He didn’t know what to say. He was a little jealous. He missed being around you so much.

Instead of pushing him further, you just laughed. “It’s okay,” you said, foot bumping against his calf. “No one’s going to replace you. You’re still my favorite person.”

Until you find someone else, a tiny voice in the back of his head told him. He just kind of frowned, going quiet.

And then you frowned, too. “Seungkwan...”

“It’s fine,” he said. “I’m not jealous you have other friends.” Not other guy friends that you call cute, but... “I just miss being around you.”

“I know, but... I don’t like him more than I like you,” you said. “You’re always going to be my number one favorite person...” You kind-of smiled, “Just like how I’m your number two favorite.”

He looked up, brows drawing together. “Two...?”

“Isn’t your mom number one?”

He nodded. Right, but... “If we’re just talking about friends,” he shifted in his chair a little, “then you’re my number one favorite, too.”

The statement earned a shy smile from you in response, immediately making you change the subject back to the math homework that the two of you were supposed to be working on. Seungkwan liked that cute smile, though, even if he had to turn away from it to look at math. He liked doing homework with you, too. You’d help him with his English homework, he’d help you with history...

It worked. The two of you just fit together.

A few hours later, his mom called him on that little flip phone (Seungkwan still wanted one with a screen, but his parents said maybe when he was older--he didn’t need a distraction. But he could barely even text you or any of his friends on it. At least you had one of those phones with the slider keyboard thing) to come back home, and he groaned after he hung up the call. He wasn’t done talking to you, but you just reminded him that you could call him on the home phone after his parents have gone to bed. He promised he would just use his cell phone--he had the minutes, he just preferred saving them--and then reminded you of his upcoming basketball game. You already promised to be there with a poster for him with whatever he wanted on it.

Seungkwan walked home slowly, savoring a few minutes of alone time before he came back in. He set his bag down on the couch with the plan to move it later, already hearing his mom greet him and immediately give him instructions. There was already a cutting board and a knife waiting for him with a few vegetables sitting atop it. So he washed his hands, and then got to work with helping her as she rattled off dinner plans casually.

At one point, he stopped, conflicted in his feelings. He thought he knew, but... “Mom?” She hummed in acknowledgement, a sign for him to continue. “What is love like?”

His mom stopped what she was doing, turning to him with a certain tenderness in her eyes as she watched him for a moment. His sisters had boyfriends before (although that, in Seungkwan’s mind, was always different because it was gross to see them hold hands or kiss because ew, gross, he doesn’t want to see them do that). He’d seen his parents love each other, too, throughout his life in the quiet way that parents seemed to: carrying burdens together, helping one another with the hard things of being an adult... Yet it seemed his mother had just realized how big he’d grown. When did he get this old to start asking such big questions like that?

“Love is...” She paused, clearly thinking her words over carefully. “Love is hard to define.”

Seungkwan pouted. That didn’t help.

She could see that, and in response smiled to herself with this light chuckle. “Love is a lot of things, Seungkwan. Love can be when you see someone and feel a need to care deeply for them--as much as you care about yourself.”

“And?”

His mom continued with preparing dinner, gesturing quickly for Seungkwan to keep working as well. “You want the best for them. Sometimes it means putting aside your own feelings in order to help them.”

“And?”

His mom looked up again, setting down her own knife. “Seungkwan... You’ll know it when you feel it.”

Love is a feeling. Seungkwan could accept that one a little more, as obscure as it sounded.

And he knew that night as he started to drift off while talking to you on the phone that the warm feeling in his chest, curled up there like a kitten finding its home, was love.

Seungkwan, age fifteen, was your high school classmate again. Gone were the awkward middle school years.. Except the stupid bouts of jealousy whenever you talked to him about boys that you thought were cute. He was your best friend, you were allowed to like other people, but the feelings he harbored for you felt complicated and he always pouted over it later when he was alone. This wasn’t fair to you. Why couldn’t his feelings just be fair?

Except this time was worse. This time one of those guys asked you out. Not that Seungkwan would have stopped him: he didn’t think you liked him the same way he liked you. His mom told him that love meant sometimes putting someone else’s feelings above your own. That was why he was lying on your bed, waiting for you to come back upstairs with your snacks, listening to the CD that the two of you made together. You had begged for him to come help you figure out what to wear on your date with some guy who used to play soccer with you (it was some whole friend thing in the park, not officially as a team). Seungkwan, as much as it killed him, was happy to help you. That was what friends were for, right? You’d do the same for him. 

He could hear the sound of your footsteps approaching and perked up, watching as you pushed your bedroom door open with your shoulder. “Okay. So...”

You made your way over, passing him a bottle of water before carefully setting down the two bowls of snacks you’d scrounged up. You then walked over to the MP3 player speakers, turning them down to avoid a distraction. Seungkwan just waited as you opened up your closet doors, lips pressing together thoughtfully.

“His dad is going to drop us off at an amusement park,” you started sifting through clothes, “and then I think we’re going to see a movie afterward, too.”

(Seungkwan, although he was very good at hiding it, started to stew a little in his own feelings. A movie? What if Yuchan kissed you? Then he’ll die because what if you and Yuchan were perfect together and you forgot all about Seungkwan?)

“So... I was thinking... Maybe something comfortable?”

“Like jeans?”

You glanced back at him over your shoulder before shrugging. “I dunno. I looked it up and there aren’t any water rides, but what if it’s too hot for jeans?”

“Then wear shorts,” Seungkwan almost wanted to roll his eyes, instead opting to busy himself with grabbing the bowl of chips. “I’ll check the weather.”

While you continued to fret over things, Seungkwan pulled up the weather on his phone to check. It didn’t seem like it’d be too hot, so jeans (or whatever pants you wanted) seemed like a fine option to him. But then you turned to him, clutching a pretty yellow and black striped shirt, and frowned.

“Seungkwan, what if he wants to kiss me?”

His heart skipped a beat at the question, and Seungkwan hoped that he looked nonchalant as he glanced at you before shoving a chip into his mouth. “If you want to kiss him, then kiss him.” Please sound normal. Please don’t give me away--

“But what if I’m bad at it? I’ve never kissed anyone before...”

Seungkwan looked up, tucking his phone back into his pocket. He could see the gears turning in your head. In the same moment he said “No,” you were already speaking up with a “Seungkwan, can you kiss me?”

His word sank in, and you pouted. “Why not? You’re my best friend. It won’t be weird if it’s you.”

Seungkwan felt the blood rushing to his face. “Because it’d be my first kiss, too.”

“So you don’t want me to be your first kiss, either?” You huffed, “Well, what if you’re bad at it?”

He opened his mouth to counter you, only to stop as the words escaped him. Seungkwan, age fifteen, thought you had a point. But Seungkwan, age fifteen, did not want to concede so easily. “So you think I’ll be bad at it?”

You let out a loud groan, head falling back. “If we’re each other’s first kiss, then it won’t be a big deal when we do it for real. If you really don’t want to kiss me, I’ll shut up, but I trust you more than--”

Seungkwan sighed, setting aside the snacks as he hopped up. He came over to you, only to realize he came... far too close. Closer than he meant to, but you still shut up and stared at him. “Just... Lean in and do it, right?”

That was what they did on TV. In movies. In books.

A moment later, you nodded. “Are you sure?”

And then Seungkwan nodded, confidence dwindling by the second. “I’m sure. Are you...?”

He was. If he sucked, then you’d tell him. He trusted you, too, after all. Seungkwan leaned in tentatively, uncertain in his movements... only for his forehead to smack straight into your own. The two of you immediately leaned back with a wince, your hand flying to your forehead as he squeezed his eyes shut. Years ago, you would have laughed at him and kissed his forehead to make it better. Now you would always just get embarrassed whenever he brought it up, reminding him that you were four and that he did it, too, before learning that kisses weren’t a valid form of medicine.

Surprisingly, though, he did hear you laugh a moment later. “Just... stay still, then,” you said.

He opened his eyes, and you reached up, gently holding his face in place before angling your own.

And then you kissed him. Seungkwan, age fifteen, did not want these few seconds to end. It was awkward, and your nose bumped against his when you went in for the kiss, but you didn’t shy away like he did when your foreheads smacked. Your lips were softer than he thought they’d be (and he was overthinking, positive that his were chapped because he lost his lip balm weeks ago and kept forgetting to get a new stick). But he kissed you back, uncertain in the motion, just to do it. To say that he kissed you, too. That it wasn’t one sided.

A few seconds later, and it was over. Neither of you knew what to say. He backed off, heart racing in his ears as he watched you.

“His favorite color is yellow,” you said after a moment, holding up the shirt you’d thrown onto your bed at some point. “So I thought--”

“Yellow suits you,” he said, hoping that you wouldn’t notice the hopelessly fond look on his face. He stepped back again, sitting back down on your bed. “Pair it with the black jeans. Don’t take a jacket. If you get cold, he should give it to you.”

“But what if he’s not wearing one?”

A fair point, but... “He will,” Seungkwan said. If he’s serious about wooing you, he’ll wear one just so he can give it to you.

Seungkwan, at that moment, thought that he loved you. And he loved you enough that he would let you go happily, your happiness becoming most important to him. Even if that decision choked him up, he would do it to see that happy smile on your face any day.

(You called him when you got home the night-of, saying that Yuchan did give you his jacket and that he almost kissed you when he walked you to your door. Seungkwan merely said he was happy for you, ignoring the ache in his chest as he curled up tight in his bed.)

Love, Seungkwan decided, was complicated.

Seungkwan, age nineteen, felt... complicated about a lot now.

You ended up dating Yuchan for two years, only for things to change as life became more hectic. School got harder, Yuchan became more dedicated to soccer and getting a scholarship with it, you busied yourself with trying to get into a good school. So was Seungkwan, actually. Weirdly enough, he didn’t realize how intertwined that process would be for the two of you. He wanted to do something with law school in the future (there was a reason he was on the debate team and good at it, and it was only partially because of his stubbornness), and you were either going pre-med for a career in nursing or maybe paleontology instead. You hadn’t decided yet, but as long as the school had a strong STEM program, you would be happy.

(Seungkwan joked that he should have known: those were two of your interests when you met. Dinosaurs and patching up your best friend who had his clumsy moments same as anyone else.)

And so the two of you ended up in the same school by happenstance. Seungkwan was one of the youngest in his year (the fact that you were a little older than him was always something you used to tease him), and on move-in day he was staring at his roommate, one Kim Mingyu. He was pretty damn chatty, which was okay, and he usually invited over the other two guys who live in their same suite. Seokmin was pretty nice, too, and he usually kept Seungkwan in conversations whenever he started to feel a little out of place. Minghao, a foreign student who came to study here because of the solid journalism program, was quieter--but that wasn’t a problem in the slightest.

What WAS a problem was the way you told Seungkwan that you had someone you wanted to introduce him to a few months into the school year. And when you showed up to the coffee shop the two of you had found within the first week, you were holding the hand of this stupidly hot dude who looked like a dick because he had his headphones hanging around his neck and wearing a beanie when it was definitely not cold enough for a beanie.

(Seungkwan, truthfully, was looking for reasons to hate him. But then you smiled at the guy after the two of you ordered, squeezed his hand, and guided him over to where Seungkwan was sitting, and he felt... guilty for doing so. Stupid hot boyfriend who makes you happy...)

“This is my best friend, Seungkwan,” you said to him, and Seungkwan took pride in the fact you introduced him first. “Seungkwan,” you smiled at him brightly, “this is Vernon! He’s technically an early graduate--something about his homeschooling program, he can tell you the details--but he’s in our year.”

Vernon gave him a polite smile and “sup,” before going on to say that he’d heard a lot about Seungkwan, actually. Another little thing for Seungkwan to take pride in. “They were telling me about how the two of you go way back. That’s actually why we haven’t met until now.”

Seungkwan looked at you in confusion. He knew that you’d started seeing someone a few weeks ago, but... You purposefully didn’t tell him who? Or anything about the guy?

“You’ve known me since we were four,” you said with a pout. “You would have told him so many stories about me. You did the same thing with that girl in high school!”

He did... For the exact same reason. While you did know the girl already, you had agreed to stay back until Seungkwan was ready to formally introduce you to her. That relationship didn’t last long to be fair, but he was terrified of all the blackmail you had over him. You, like him, had pictures, too.

“Plus... I dunno, I wanted to figure out where we stood,” you looked at Vernon with this soft smile on your face. Seungkwan thought he could see the love in your eyes, too.

Seungkwan cleared his throat. “I’m still going to tell him stories. He should know these things about you,” he said, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, “like your emo phase in middle school--”

Immediately, you whined. “Nooo! I know you have pictures!”

“And I’ll use them.”

Vernon, to Seungkwan’s surprise because of the cool-guy aura he seemed to carry, actually chuckled in response. “I think we’ve all got embarrassing stuff. It’s fine,” he said, and then spoke quieter to you, “It’s cute.”

And that ended up shutting you up with this really cute smile that Seungkwan had always found cute. “Anyway...” You turned back to Seungkwan with this look of concern for a moment. Yet the second you went to open your mouth, your name ended up being called out by the barista, leading you to quickly excuse yourself.

Seungkwan knew you’d take a few minutes to get your coffee to where you liked it. So he turned to Vernon right as the guy was about to strike up polite conversation, “I’m still their best friend, just so you know.”

Immediately, Vernon gave him this weird look, brows drawing together. “Sorry... What?”

“Just because we haven’t met until now doesn’t mean they like you more than me,” he said, crossing his arms. I come first, he wanted to say. I’ve known them since we were four. Remember that.

“Woah, dude, I didn’t say anything--” He paused for a moment, glancing over to where you were fiddling with sugar packets. “They’re cute. They’ve been talking about you a lot lately. If you’re upset they didn’t introduce me sooner, it’s just because they were worried you're gonna hate me.”

... You cared about his opinion that much? Seungkwan mentally smacked himself--of course you did. The two of you valued each other like that. “Oh.”

“Nah, man, I’m not gonna step on your friendship or anything,” Vernon leaned back in his chair. “I know you two are close. But they’re still my date, though....” Vernon was... way chiller than Seungkwan thought he’d be. He was sure most guys would have been offended. “But if you wanna be friends, I’m down. You seem cool. They said you sing?”

Seungkwan’s face was burning from embarrassment now, especially for trying to be petty and establish some stupid sense of dominance over him. “Yeah,” he said, feeling so small now. “I love singing.”

Vernon smiled a little, nodding along, “I’ve got a friend who’s been trying to get me to go to karaoke. Maybe all four of us could go sometime?”

... Admittedly, it was almost cute how Vernon just kind-of configured you into these plans. Probably because he knew that you, too, loved karaoke. You and Seungkwan had spent way too many hours growing up lying about doing homework when you were actually at a noraebang.

“I’d like that, actually.”

When you finally came back, it was to Vernon bringing up movies that he loved and Seungkwan engaging him in that conversation happily. And he could see the way you smiled at the way they were getting along. He got along with Yuchan just fine: so he could get along with Vernon, too. Besides... Vernon actually seemed pretty cool. Maybe in another life, they would already be best friends.

Seungkwan parted ways from the two of you as you said you’d be walking Vernon back to his dorm (meaning that you’d likely call Seungkwan later to talk), and he found himself hurrying back to his own. Mingyu was sitting at his desk, studying his notes from class with earbuds in, giving Seungkwan a welcome reprieve from being social for a few minutes. He found his own homework, breaking into a history textbook to start working there for the next few hours.

Later that night, you had called him while he was studying. Seungkwan could see you standing outside when he picked up, watching the way you happily waved one arm wildly at him to get him to come down. So he pocketed his keys, slipped into his shoes, and called back to Mingyu that he’d be back in a few minutes. He expected you to maybe tease him over the stupid shit he pulled with Vernon (he felt like Vernon would have let it slip, even though he didn’t seem offended), but instead you hugged him tight.

“I hope you know I love you a lot,” you said, “and I’ve wanted you to meet him since we started dating, but...”

Those bitter feelings slipped through Seungkwan’s fingers, melting away as he hugged you back. “You were scared he’d find something to dislike about you,” he sighed. “It’s okay. I like him.”

You stepped back, smiling brightly. “Really?”

“He’s nice. He obviously likes you,” he said with a shrug. “So he passes my test. But if he ever hurts you, I’ll fight him.”

You knew he would. It wasn’t the first time Seungkwan had said it, after all. “Just don’t steal him from me, Kwannie,” you patted him on the chest. “I almost thought I was your third wheel for a minute, y’know.”

... So maybe Seungkwan did get along great with Vernon. More than he really liked to admit. Fuck, Vernon was kind of perfect, wasn’t he? He was respectful toward him even after he tried to be all “myeh myeh I’m their best friend so you come second” like a child, and he fully understood that both of them were important people in your life...

“Thank you for not embarrassing me, y’know,” you said. “I mean, you still have videos from the time we tried to go rollerskating...”

(To be fair: so did you. Both of you quit because you were bad at it and got tired of falling, and spent the rest of your time in the arcade portion instead, being bad at games together.)

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Seungkwan said. “Not this soon, at least. Maybe if he sticks around...”

It earned a laugh from you. That was how your relationship with Yuchan had been, too: there was a point where neither of you thought the embarrassing stuff would mess with your relationship too much. “I know,” you said. “I guess I just got in my own head. I really like him, y’know?”

He could tell. You looked at him the way Seungkwan was sure he looked at you--even though you never noticed. He bantered with you a little more, saying that Vernon would regret inviting both of you to karaoke when those plans came around, and made his way back inside. With a sigh, he flopped onto his bed, the noise enough to drag Mingyu out of his studies.

He chuckled. “I think it’s a little obvious how you feel.”

Seungkwan grasped, immediately reaching for the nearest soft thing to lob at him. And... It was that pastel blue dino plushie that he’d had since he was five. He used to hide it until Mingyu found it by accident while Seungkwan had been gathering his laundry. When he said it was a gift from you, Mingyu understood and said it was sweet how he held onto it so long. Which meant that Seungkwan would sometimes leave that dino plushie out when the others weren’t around. It comforted him to see it whenever he was getting stressed. Other times, the little guy lived in the top of his closet for safekeeping. Hell, Seungkwan had accidentally ripped the little guy’s leg and Mingyu had been the one who patched it up.

At no response from Seungkwan, Mingyu finally turned around, only to see Seungkwan staring at the dino plushie in his hands. “Why don’t you just tell them how you feel?”

“They’re dating some guy named Vernon now.” He ran his thumb along the stitching on the side. “I don’t think they love me back.”

Mingyu frowned, looking up to the clock on the wall, and then back to Seungkwan. “It’s not too late. Let’s go out,” he hopped up, shutting his books. “I’ll see if Seokmin and Hao are free, too.”

Seungkwan could feel that familiar ache in his chest--the same one he felt when you called him, giddy about your date with Yuchan--but softer than it had been before. You were happy. What more could he want?

This, too, was love. As long as you were happy, he could move on.

(And maybe he’ll like the girl Mingyu later offered to set him up with, swearing that he’d love her...)

Seungkwan was twenty-two when he had another major fight with you.

The first time the two of you fought, you’d been kids. He barely remembered what it was about, but it resulted in him not talking to you for a week (which was like a thousand years in little-kid time) until you finally showed up to his door. You sobbed and said you missed him so bad, and apologized a thousand times until he started crying because he missed you, too. The second time had been in middle school over something stupid and immature, and he remembered that the two of you fought bad enough that you stormed off until he bribed you to talk to him again via ice cream and a serious conversation (thank you to his mom, actually: she was the one who talked sense into him first). The third was in high school because you had hated his girlfriend at the time. He hadn’t let you speak, and told you to get out of his house, only to come back together again later that night--halfway between your houses. The two of you apologized to one another: him because he heard from a few hours later that you had fought with his girlfriend in the halls for talking horribly about him behind his back, and you because you should have told him the truth right away.

And now... Things were different. The two of you now lived together in a crummy apartment that felt too small for the two of you. You were studying to become a nurse after you graduated, and Seungkwan was following his plans to set himself up for law school. He’d managed to luck out with getting an internship at this law firm in the city before he was even in law school, Yoon & Hong Law Group. The two of you had gone out to celebrate with Vernon and Chan back when he got the call. When he went in for his first day, Jeonghan had told him it was because of his application that they let him in. They liked his drive, and they remembered being in his position not too long ago. He and Joshua weren’t the original Yoon and Hong (that was his dad and Joshua’s mom, who still headed the firm), but they’d take over the firm one day and they hoped that Seungkwan would still be part of that future. Where Seungkwan had been accepted, you were still waiting on replies from nursing schools.

While you and Vernon had only dated for about a year before that spark fizzled away (which was something Seungkwan couldn’t wrap his head around: how did it take a year for that to happen? Then again, a year stopped feeling so long after you became an adult...), the two of you were still friends. Somewhere along the way, Seungkwan started to consider Vernon as one of his closest friends, too--not number one, because that would always be you, but still pretty damn up there.

He remembered when the two of you broke up. He knew that both of you were talking about things seriously, because you loved each other, just not enough. Vernon had apparently asked if that meant you wanted to break up. You had said you still loved him, he said he still loved you, and then you both had to really examine whether you two loved each other romantically or just as close friends. Although it took a break to cope with your own feelings after mutually agreeing you’d be better off as friends, Seungkwan was glad that the two of you came back together... even if he still remembered the way you broke down crying when you came home to him that day. You’d sobbed into his shoulder that you still loved him, but you couldn’t love Vernon the way he deserved to be loved.

And Seungkwan, ever the dutiful best friend, held you through that storm until it had calmed. Then it was time for him to take care of you: to order dinner and put on movies and forget about your assignments together for a few hours. He’d even gone out to get the dessert you liked, only splitting it evenly with you when you firmly insisted. You’d rested your head on his shoulder and told him that the feeling sucked. He understood. He just let you cuddle him as much as you needed to.

Vernon later called him to ask how you were doing. When Seungkwan, having stepped onto the balcony to take the call, looked back at your sleeping back, he felt relieved. Vernon had been honest with him: the two of you needed time to get over the breakup. Seungkwan confessed he didn’t want to lose either of you as friends, and neither did Vernon. Neither did you. A few months later, things were getting back to normal again. You and Vernon had physically been close, but that was because you were always like Seungkwan: physically affectionate with any and every person you cared about. It was a little awkward in the beginning, sure, but Vernon happily returned your hugs soon enough and everything became normal.

Seungkwan, on the other hand, had also dated a few people. The girl that Mingyu set him up with didn’t last long. The others... were also short-lived relationships. The longest one he had over the past few years lasted almost half a year, but he’d ended it after having enough of feeling like garbage. It hadn't been toxic or abusive, but the initially playful jabs at his chubby cheeks or his body toward the end of the relationship had been enough for him. He valued himself too highly to put up with that bullshit.

Also, you’d been getting pissed: the last time they said that shit to him, you finally snapped (admittedly while drunk) that your Boo was cute and his ass was great and that they could fuck off if they weren’t going to appreciate him for who he was. They had gotten offended, and Seungkwan gladly chose you over them... even if the comment about his ass finally hit him hours later after he’d helped you to bed, and it stuck with him to this day

To be honest, Seungkwan thought his feelings for you would have gone away by now. The two of you had known each other for almost two decades. He knew he’d always love you... but like this? Where he looked at you and sometimes daydreamed of what could be if he’d stop playing a coward and told you how he felt? It was different. As much as Seungkwan wanted to tell you, he wasn’t going to jeopardize his friendship for it. Things were good.

... Until he went and opened his stupid fucking mouth and told you that he hated your boyfriend. He said outright that your boyfriend was a shit person who didn’t deserve you. He saw the way he spoke about you, the vulgar way he acted, and the way you’d swatted his hands away too many damn times because you didn’t want to be touched that way in that moment. This last time, Seungkwan had snapped at him for trying to bother you in your own home. You didn’t stand up to either of them, and your boyfriend left the apartment pissed off, which in turn made you pissed at Seungkwan.

“I just don’t see why you can’t be fucking nice to him!” You had snapped, fists balled tight at your sides. “You liked Yuchan,you liked Vernon--what’s so different about Donghae?! Why can’t you just be happy for me?!”

That had struck a nerve. “I am happy for you!” He snapped. “I’ve always been happy for you! But Donghae doesn’t respect you, and I’m not going to stand here when you deserve better!”

“If it bothered me, I’d tell him to stop--”

“You have! I’ve seen you tell him to stop--but he doesn’t respect you, so he doesn’t listen! You shouldn’t date some idiot who doesn’t respect you--”

Things had grown louder from there until you finally had enough. You were pissed off, and you barked back something about needing space before stomping out of the apartment. That had been a little over half an hour ago, and with a messy apron folded beside him, he was sitting on the couch, replaying the conversation over and over. He called Vernon, who came over with Chan, within the next fifteen minutes.

“Ah. Dude, you kinda fucked up,” was what Vernon said once he heard the full story.

“I dunno,” Chan frowned from his spot in the cozy armchair that you had picked out so long ago for the apartment. Most of the time Chan and Seungkwan would bicker over the smallest thing, but it was clear how much he cared about him from how serious he took things like this. “Donghae is an asshole. I’m just surprised he didn’t say it sooner.”

“I’m not saying he shouldn’t have said it, I’m just saying he shouldn’t have said it like that.”

Seungkwan was sitting on the couch. There was a cake, hastily made from a box mix, cooling in the freezer to get it done faster. I’m sorry I wasn’t nicer about your dick boyfriend probably wouldn’t fit on a cake. His phone rang, and it was his mom (the only time he’d ever be disappointed to hear from her, Seungkwan was certain). He excused himself to step out on the balcony, embracing the cold air to clear his head as he picked up. It started with her asking how he was doing, and he ended up crying before confessing he had another big fight with you. The first one in years, since the two of you didn’t fight often. Tiny arguments, sure, but that was different. He hadn’t heard from you in maybe an hour now, and he was worried.

His mom listened to his concerns, and told him what his friends had told him: that his heart was in the right place (especially since Seungkwan told her that he thought you weren’t being treated well), but that he just needed to communicate it better. Calling your boyfriend an asshole to his face was probably the worst way to go about it.

“It’s just complicated,” Seungkwan confessed, wiping hard at his face.

“Love always is,” was what his mom said. “You’ll learn that when you grow up.”

He let out a sigh before pouting. “I’m already grown up...”

His mother’s warm chuckle calmed him further. “You’ll understand that later, too. You should make sure that they’re safe.” 

So Seungkwan did: he texted you to ask if you were. You didn’t respond, not that he expected you to reply immediately. You needed time to cool off. He followed up the text to tell you that if he didn’t hear from you within the next two hours, he was going to go out looking, and then pocketed his phone.

He had a cake to ice, after all, even if it might end up looking bad. Vernon and Chan had followed him into the kitchen where he frosted the cooled cake with white icing, mixing up pink and preparing a piping bag.

Chan had been the one to question it: “So... What’s the cake for?”

“Apology cake,” Vernon whispered. “For not saying stuff right. He’s done it once before.”

(It had been over an hour since you were gone. Seungkwan was going to finish this damn cake to distract himself.)

He’d managed to get a decent-ish looking border done, starting on the words when he heard the chime of the door. All he had done was an I’m So when he heard your footsteps, far lighter than the last time he’d heard them.

“Oh. Hey.”

“You good?” Vernon asked.

He could hear the rustle of a plastic bag in your hands. “Mmm... Maybe. I dunno.”

Seungkwan said nothing as he finished Sorry on the cake. That would do for now.

“Seungkwan?” He could hear you growing closer to him. “Um...” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see you look to Vernon and Chan. “God... They probably already know, so I’ll just say it. I’m sorry.”

He looked up. “Huh?”

“I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.” The bag in your hand rustled further in your grip. “I mean... You were right. He was a dick, and... I dunno, I left, and then he called me, and he kept saying all this stupid shit about how you never respected me, and... I just told him I was done.”

Seungkwan stared at you. “You broke up with him?”

“I mean... I probably should have when he stopped listening to me, but--” Then you looked at the cake. “Seungkwan, what are you--”

He stepped aside, letting you see the writing. “I’m sorry I got angry,” he said. “And I’m sorry I spoke to you like that. I think... We both got upset really fast.”

Which was true. Both of you had been stressed lately with everything else going on. That didn’t help with what happened today.

“Oh my god.”

“I know it looks bad--”

You shook your head, opening the bag to pull out a pint of cookies and cream ice cream. “I got you apology ice cream,” you had lightly laughed, only to remember the other two in the room with you. “Ah, fuck--I should have known you would have called them over... I should have bought more--”

“We still have vanilla,” Seungkwan said, “They’ll be fine.”

And despite their playful complaints, both were fine with that when you brought out the carton from the freezer. The four of you had your cake and your ice cream as a nice little indulgence after a stressful night. Seungkwan sent them off with the extra cake because neither of you wanted it. He quietly cleaned up, bringing the other dishes over to where you’d started to quietly clean them in the sink.

“I really mean it,” Seungkwan said. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I’m sorry.” 

You frowned at him. “Seungkwan...” You reached past him, grabbing the dish towel to dry your hands on. Then you stepped forward, wrapping your arms around him tight. “I know. We’re better friends than this, though... I shouldn’t have assumed you were being a dick when you’ve always been looking out for me. I mean... You care about me more than a lot of people, y’know?”

“You do the same,” he said, hugging you back. He always liked the way you felt so warm in his arms. Like everything would be okay if he just had you there. “I know I’m loved... But I don’t doubt it or get in my head when it’s you.”

It felt like a confession. You pulled away from him after a moment, hands now lingering on his upper arm as you stared at him for a moment. He almost saw something on your face, but you turned away before he could try to figure out what it was. You went back to doing the dishes, and Seungkwan wordlessly stepped in to help you with them.

Seungkwan thought to himself, in that moment, that he was doomed to always love you no matter who he saw. That the person he was looking for in every single person would always be you. But... if it meant the two of you stayed connected so deeply like this, even when you were angry at one another, then he would be okay with it.

Even when you fought, he would always love you. Maybe that, too, was part of love, as complicated as it was to admit that.

Seungkwan was twenty-four when things were... beyond stressful. Between law school being hard and nursing school draining you most days, Seungkwan felt like he barely saw you despite living together. If nothing else, he barely saw you happy most days. Neither of you really went out with anyone unless they were friends, careers taking priority over any kind of romantic relationship. But that was okay: the two of you had talked about that kind of thing over a rare dinner together. You didn’t want to bring anyone new into your life when everything was so busy, and he was too stressed to really let go with someone that wasn’t already close to him. The two of you were working hard, and all you could really do was support the other through it all. Sometimes it took the form of movie nights when he came disgruntled and unable to read another word of his text book or old cases, and he liked to think he was better at giving massages after long hours of you being in the hospital for things. God knew you should see a professional, but you were trying to save up and keep money in your account for rent and food and other necessities right now. When you were an actual nurse, maybe then you’d start occasionally seeing a professional.

It also came with the two of you venting to one another. He’d heard about the people that you worked with. About Dr. Choi, who was strict but seemed to have a soft spot  for you because you brought him a latte once when he looked particularly exhausted. Seungkwan actually met another nurse you worked with--Jeon Wonwoo--when he went up to the hospital one night because you forgot your umbrella... Only for Wonwoo to have been leaving at the same time, offering both of you a ride back to your apartment. Seungkwan, despite knowing just how stressed your job made you, liked how happy you were with it. He thought it was definitely good for you, and you always loved to talk about how you were helping people--even as a student. There were shitty patients who disrespected you (and your fellow medical professionals), but your drive was in your desire to make other people happier.

It was Saturday now, a rare day where you came home hours ago from working. He’d moved his headphones off when you came in, only for you to wave him off saying that you’d talk after you got a little rest. He readjusted them, and went back to studying hard. He was tired, though, and he could feel his eyelids growing heavier. He had research he had to do earlier, and now he was catching up in reading for one of his classes... Two years and he still wasn’t done, but at least he wasn’t in it alone. He had you.

His headphones must have gotten knocked askew when he fell asleep over his books, because the knock at the door had been enough to wake him up. He pulled his headphones off, getting up to stretch on his walk over. He opened the door, only to find a package waiting outside that was addressed to you. Seungkwan brought it inside, making a mental note to refill his water bottle in a minute, about to call out for you when you rushed in.

“Don’t open it!”

He wasn’t going to, but he nearly dropped the damn thing at how loud you suddenly were. You took the box from him quickly, hugging it tight to you with one arm as you fished around in a drawer for the box cutter. Seungkwan realized that he had apparently blocked everything you’d been doing out for the past hour (or maybe he was just that deeply asleep for a bit), because there were suddenly way more blankets in there than the two of you usually kept... and you had stolen one of the chairs from the dining table, pushed the coffee table forward...

“What are you doing?”

You’d already sat down on the floor, opening up the box. He hadn’t seen you this lively since that late night study group around midterms, and that was because of all the caffeine in your system. You’d been beyond burnt out since then, working on countless assignments and going to work. Today had just been a rare Saturday where both of you were home, just giving you time to study and rest before next week kicked your asses once more.

“Can you bring the batteries?” You called out over your shoulder. “Triple-A. I need four.”

That didn’t answer his question, but Seungkwan did as you asked. Before he could see what was in the box, you stopped him, hand extended for the batteries.

“Go back to studying,” you ordered. “I’ll get you when everything’s ready.”

He didn’t move. He just furrowed his brow in confusion, wanting to question you further, only for you to huff in aggravation.

“Just trust me. Tonight’s... special.”

Seungkwan did as you said, including moving his chair to where his back was to you entirely. He could hear you moving around the apartment behind him, eventually answering the door again to get takeout (and immediately his stomach rumbled when he caught the scent of fried chicken from his favorite place). He almost asked if he was forgetting something important, but you just held up a hand.

“I’m almost done,” you told him with this cute smile on your face that was enough to make him agree to wait. “Okay? I’m almost done.”

It was cute how excited you were. It almost worried him, to be honest... It wasn’t his birthday. It wasn’t yours. Was he forgetting something big? Sure, it had almost been twenty years since the two of you became friends, but that friend-iversary wasn’t for another few weeks. The two of you already had plans for it, too: you were going to go to an amusement park and just pretend you didn’t have a thousand other things going on for a day.

When you finally came back to him, you had carefully pushed his assignment into the page he was reading before shutting his book for him. He couldn’t say no to you when he saw how happy you were. It was fine, too: technically he was a little ahead in his classes. He just wanted to give himself the best chances to succeed.

“Close your eyes.”

And he did, letting you slowly guide him from his chair. He couldn’t fight the smile on his face as your hands took his. With each slow step, he couldn’t help but wonder what you had in mind. At one point, you stopped, gently stepping around him to push him down onto his knees and then back--instructing him to just sit there for a moment.

“I just need a minute... So keep your eyes closed, okay? It’s a surprise.”

He listened, knees hugged to his chest right now as he listened to you move around the apartment. Something soft--one of those blankets, probably--gently thwacked him in the face at one point before it was immediately pulled away (and he almost giggled at the sound of your quiet swearing under your breath). He could hear the click of something plastic opening, and then the sound of you fumbling with those batteries, more plastic buttons being pressed...

“Okay. You can open your eyes now.”

He did, and the room was illuminated in stars. There was dinner on the table--his favorite dakgangjeong, an order for you, and various sides spread out--and the two of you were now sitting underneath a blanket fort that you must have fixed after you sat him down. You slid a little closer to him, taking his hands in your own.

“What are you--”

“Seungkwan,” you said firmly. “It’s been almost two decades since we became friends... but I remember we did this back when we were eight. And--I dunno. I guess I got sentimental. I know you’ve been stressed lately, too, and... I dunno, I just... It’s stupid, but I wanted to relive the first time I slept over at your house. And then I saw this thing,” you nodded toward the projector, “when I was browsing through random shit online, and then I got this stupid idea, and I thought it might just be a sign to go through with it...”

Seungkwan had never wanted to kiss you more than he did at that moment. Instead, he just choked up, tears brimming because of... all of it. All that was missing was the silly little drawing of the two of you and your families and your weird cat-dog-thing. But the dinner, the stars, the blanket fort...

“I love you.”

The words were out before he could even process it, and he realized what he just said. He grew more embarrassed, about to take them back. To say that he didn’t mean it like that, to try and save your friendship before he could destroy it with feelings that he thought were only one sided.

But he didn’t. He could see the way you looked at him. The way your eyes flickered down to his lips for a moment. Like magnetism, you drifted forward, about to kiss him when your forehead bumped against his again.

And he laughed. “Here,” he said. “Stay still.”

Seungkwan gently held your face so that he could angle his own, kissing you gently.

Seungkwan, at twenty-four, knew that he loved you. With every single beat of his heart, he loved you. You kissed him back, and he finally saw that you, at some point along the way, fell for him, too. The two of you weren’t two four year olds on the way home from school, where you took care of him and made sure he was okay. You weren’t eight year olds under a blanket fort, dreaming of living under the same roof with everyone you held dear to you, or fifteen year olds having their first kiss together because they were both too scared to have it with someone else because of the silly notion that they should know how to kiss before they did it. He was twenty four, and after a lifetime of questioning it, he thought he finally understood what love was.

You pulled away after a moment, eyes twinkling. He preferred the stars in them to the stars from that silly lamp. “I love you, too.”

And then you kissed him again, and everything felt right.

Love, he had learned, was a lot of things. The act of being happy with another person, of seeing their joy and treasuring it close to your heart. Of wanting them to be happy no matter what. To enjoy being around a person, and to yearn for their presence when they were gone for too long. Love was a feeling.

The act of accepting differences for what they are, of fighting but coming together because you cared about each other more. To put aside oneself in order to let someone find their happiness elsewhere. To surprise the other with something that might seem silly to other people, but meant the world to you. Love was an action, too.

But love? Love, he decided at that moment, is you.

And it was him, too.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex​ @synthetickitsune​

[waddei]

legitimate question, what’s so bad about people wanting to separate the characters from the dsmp? i get that some people can be really obnoxious about it, constantly bashing canon at every chance they get, and it’s basically the same feeling as people who used to be into it making fun of people for “still being into it” but at the core of it i don’t think there’s any harm in people “ocifying” the characters for themselves, at least not anymore harm than general mischaracterization. the characters will always be separate from the creators in my mind because i got i to the dsmp before knowing anything about any of the ccs, and i think they should be considered separate as they are CHARACTERS but i also understand people being uncomfortable thinking about their art getting tagged with the name of an irl abuser just because they drew a character they played who shares the same name. as painful as it is, ill always love the dsmp for everything it is and isn’t, and i do think it’s harmful to equate the characters to their creators, but i also understand why people want to distance themselves from some of the very serious shit that’s gone down with multiple of the main creators. they way they talk about it can be a bit obnoxious and holier than thou, but at the end of the day i think people wanting to separate the characters further from their creators is pretty understandable given the circumstances yknow?

hi anon, there's a difference between separating the content creators from the characters (aka what you're talking about) and separating the characters from the dream smp.

for reference, when I say "dream smp" I am referring to the narrative within it (the lore) unless specified otherwise.

i have no complaints with separating the cc& cs. in fact, I am a firm believer in that it's the correct way to enjoy the dsmp.

what I am complain about is separating the characters from the broader narrative and or isolating only a few character the op likes and calling them "OCS"

and oc is an original character. meaning you came up with the concept, design and story for it. c!tommy from the dsmp cannot, by definition, be your original character.

you can take traits from him and derive characters from his personality, but solely taking ctommy away from his setting doesn't make him yours and neither does changing his hairstyle and clothes.

i have my fair share of "tommy adjacent" OCS, guys that started as au versions I decided to flesh out further. but if you take a peek at those you might find they're quite different from ctommy and, most importantly, I don't tag their art as ctommy.

that post mostly was about people taking credit for characters that aren't theirs in efforts to distance themselves from the server. which is useless btw, if you're drawing cWilbur you're drawing cWilbur. I don't care if you rename him willy and give him a red sweater instead of yellow.

particularly, my disdain is for the people that change one or two details and claim this is a full re write or that their version is better (when most of the time it's just more boring)

and I am a huge hater about it

[purrpickle]

Can you write the first time Anil took Pin for a ride? Literal ride as first time Anil driving with Pin in the passenger seat but wouldn't complain if it ends with another type of ride

Fun fact: Rearview mirrors only became standard equipment in the mid-to-late 1960s (at least in the US) and were optional before that! The more you know when you research getting minor details right.

I figured with the timeline of the show, the first time Anil gets to take Pin for a ride really would be driving her back home after saving her from Kuea and having fun time in the rain. In the car. In public. 😀

This didn't quite go as I initially envisioned it, but I still had fun. Thanks for the prompt, anon!

*

Pin, the highs of her cheeks flushed as her fingers work at the rebuttoning of her blouse, murmurs just loud enough to be heard over the rain still splattering on the roof over them, "Can you even drive?"

"Of course," Anil responds, using the specially installed rearview mirror to check her headband; seemingly satisfied after running her hand over her hair one more time before pushing the mirror back into place, she rests her right hand on the steering wheel as she turns to Pin with a wide smile on her face, "I've been wanting to take you for a drive all this time."

Pausing, fingers brushing along her last button, Pin looks up. She smiles. "Really?"

"Yes!" Anil nods eagerly, eyes sparkling, "Brother taught me all there is to know."

"Is that so?" Reaching out to tuck Anil's hair behind her ear, Pin rests her hand onto her shoulder for a moment; she's unable to stop herself from stroking the bare skin of her upper arm as she moves away.

Watching the motion, Anil inhales, fingers tightening around the steering wheel before she forcibly relaxes them; still, her free hand flashes out, wrapping around Pin's.

Pin swallows as Anil's thumb rubs along the back of her hand. The simple touch evokes the echo of Anil between her legs. She can still feel how wet she still -

Anil lets her go as she turns the key in the ignition. Having been looking down at the process, she smiles as the engine turns over. "Well," she starts, both hands on the steering wheel as she turns to look slightly chagrinned at Pin, "Shall we go before the rain stops and people reappear?"

Pin blinks at her. Then looks from fogged window to fogged window. "Yes!"

*

They take a longer route home instead of going straight there. Pin knows Kuea must surely have already reported back to her aunt, but part of her doesn't want to care. Wants to only stay there, with Anil, Pin having eventually slid over the long bench seat to wrap around her arm, head resting on her shoulder as she feels her navigate the road before them. The other part of her wants Anil to protest, to tell her to go back to her original seat, but Anil doesn't. Instead, Anil takes advantage of every stop sign to press kisses to the top of Pin's head, her arm even wrapping around her one car-less intersection to curve her palm under her chin to draw her into a needy, searching meeting of lips over and over again until Pin pulls back with an almost breathless inhale just in time to see another vehicle come up behind them.

Anil's laugh as her foot steps heavily on the pedal to shoot them forward through protesting pools of slowly evaporating rain on the roadway easily drowns out Pin's alarm, and despite how much her chastisement falls onto an ecstatic expression and deaf ears, Pin doesn't move away from her.

Eventually, they slow again, and Anil kisses Pin's forehead again.

Not wanting to see another stop sign, Pin closes her eyes.

[magknightidv]

hello sweetie! :D

i see that you want to write about descendants and i would absolutely love to share some requests i've been thinking about.

idk if you write ficlets, headcannons or oneshots, so you can write in the way you feel more comfortable! :)

so, the thing is, uma and harry (separately) x artist!reader (gn please!!) where the reader draw and write music and poetry about their lover/crush. i just want to see how they would react if they seen the readers art bcs i think it would be soooooo cute!

(im so sorry if you can't understand something, english isn't my first language.)

take care of yourself. love u!!

I love this so so much! thank you!

Hope this doesn't end up being too bad, I feel it was a little rushed (not because I felt I was being rushed just that I had a few thoughts that I needed to write before they were gone yk?)

I'm doing it so it's:

Harry Hook x painter/drawer!reader

And

Uma x music artist! Reader

To make it easier to imagine

Also I've kept it gender neutral dw and I've also written it so Uma and Harry are in Auradon when they meet you

Please feel free to request more at any point (I'm going to write for all descendants characters but mostly Harry Hook)

----------------------

Harry Hook

Let's imagine Harry has no idea who you are in the beginning

Some random person that's always seen drawing, painting, creating something.

He's seen some of your works hung around Auradon prep in expensive looking frames

He doesn't approach you for a while, in fact Gil is the first to meet you

Gil takes the same art course as you so you meet there when Gil had a bit of a paint disaster

Harry was originally cautious around you because he thought you'd be some stuck up art critique kind of person who was going to complain about Gil

But when you instead explain that you could see what he was trying to do but the actual execution of it wasn't great , Harry laughed with you

Overall your first meet was a positive one that was the beginning of a laughter filled relationship

Harry would always see you sat somewhere, in some weird position, scribbling away in your sketchbook

He eventually spots what you are drawing, or better yet who.

Him

He crashes.

All thoughts, Gone.

He's just staring at it for a good 5 minutes before you have to click your fingers in front of his face to wake him up.

"H- How, no, why are ye drawin' meh?" Heat rises to his cheeks and he slowly brings his thoughts back to Earth.

He'd already had been developing feelings for you since you two met. I mean you were nice to his friends, kind to him, he let you meet his sisters at one point and they seemed to even like you. You are fun to be around, you check that he's taking care of himself, you make sure he's not too bashed up from the sports he plays. What isn't there to like?

"You have a pretty face, nice to draw." He takes note of the blush that grows on your cheeks and the way you look off to the side with a shy smile growing. "I draw the people I like, the people I'm closest to."

His heart almost stops. Did you just try to kill him?! 'cause clearly you aren't aware of the way you make him feel.

I headcannon Harry to be Pansexual, as a pan person myself, so he was kinda well known on the Isle for being able to flirt with anyone he wanted for various reasons

But let me tell you, not once had he had the air knocked out of his chest from a few simple words.

You take his silence the wrong way and begin packing your things to go find somewhere to wallow in your shame, but Harry just drops to his knees in front of you.

"Please, draw meh, whenever ye want to." He is on his knees looking at you with the happiest smile he can muster and almost puppy like wonder in his eyes. "I'll be yours, if you'll be mine?"

Okay that bit came out a little too easy to him, he didn't really mean for that to happen.

But he can't complain since you agreed!

Everything you create for him, he treats like it's the most fragile item he's ever come in contact with

He's always showing it off though he's so appreciative of everything you do so he wants to show the entire world

When you feel down for not feeling your art is good enough, he's oddly prepared to show every bit of art you've ever given him with reasons on what makes it perfect to him

He may as well be prepared with a PowerPoint presentation on every one of your works he's seen

I fact he's probably prepared one somewhere, pictures, effects, transitions, the whole shebang!

He draws too, almost forgot to mention. I've got a little headcanon of him always doodling pirates on cool adventures when he was younger on the isle. I also like to imagine that there was a time where Evie and Harry liked to draw together but Evie drew Princesses and dress designs and Harry drew pirates which created some childish clashing between the two. So they'd stopped almost as soon as they started their little doodle hangouts

That's offtrack, sorry.

He gives you pictures of you in multiple different styles, each time it seems like he's trying to depict you as an angel of sorts

He also draws the Uma and the crew but he comes to check that he got everyone right with you

ART DATES.

YOU'RE GOING TO ALL THE MOST AESTHETICALLY PLACES HE CAN FIND

He may or may not let you take pictures of him for references as long as he can do the same with you, he's also pretty good at photography so he loves getting new picture of you with some fantastical background making you stand out so much more

Uma

Uma knew who you were when she arrived in Auradon, she'd heard your music played at cotillion

She couldn't complain about it, it wasnt her usual style but it was new and she liked that

When she had officially arrived she would notice you all around

Playing music for parties, proper events, even just around the school

Despite her not meeting you she subconsciously finds her way to you

She listens out for you whenever she can

She ends up actually meeting you thought Evie

Evie was designing everyone's outfits for a party so your fitting time overlapped into Uma's time. Uma didn't mind and in fact took the opportunity to tell you that she'd heard you around but hadn't had the chance to meet you

From then, you became quick friends.

Her feelings developed the more time she spent with you, she just loves listening to your music

She'd like to learn an instrument that would compliment your style of music so you could play together

She helps you with lyrics whenever you need the help

She first finds out that you write songs about your experiences and the people around you by looking at the lyrics for some of your songs

She finds it sweet that although you don't directly mention people, you can share the way you feel to them to those who will listen

But then she finds a song that's for her

I mean who else would it be for, she's the person you spend most of your time with and she's the pretty pirate with blue hair

She definitely looks over the lyrics and gets so giddy that she's kicking her feet with glee, when you walk in and see her smiling at the page she doesn't stop smiling

She immediately asks what you mean and when you tell her she latches onto you

Basically, she asks you out right then and there

Who are you to deny her? Of course you accept

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

So sorry it took longer than I thought, and sorry Uma's part was shorter thats my dumb lil brain being dumb

[sillysymbol]

who's your favorite criminal clownery character to draw? favorite to write/think about? favorite dynamic? and can i get a fun fact or something you havent shared yet about them :]

YES YESSS SICKOS HAHA YESSS

my favs to draw are pirplexa and shirley for some reason. pirplexa because she's like a weird son to me (i'm very attached to her! shes like my favorite oc ever! i went off when i designed her!) + shirley because ever since i changed her hair style shes been a lot easier+more fun to draw. i think also carni i love drawing her w different hair styles and clothing.

my favorites to write for are pirplexa/carni/prince. that makes sense cuz theyre like. the Main protagonists+villain, but its really fun to explore their different personalities/backstories. Dude writing backstories especially for pirplexa and prince is so fun for me. also recently writing xio has been really fun n interesting to me. in general i think its fun to explore Why A Character is like That, why do they behave like that!

i got a lot of dynamics i like exploring but my favs are carni/pirplexa, carni/trill, prince/shirley, prince/xio and babs/miles. for carni dynamics its fun because she's one of the more happy/chipper characters, contrasted with pirplexa being more cold/untrusting and trill being more calm and collected. i plan for carni and trill to really dislike eachother at first, but eventually start to understand and fall for eachother <3 while with carni and pirplexa its more about pirplexa learning to trust and make friends again.

prince and shirley are siblings with extremely different world views and thought processes, they really dislike eachother. they grew up in the same enviroment yet reacted to it completely differently.

prince and xio is fun to me, ive been trying to give xio more of involved in the story+cast&crew while prince just thinks of her as his cute secretary. he sucks real bad! she doesnt like him she barely tolerates the others but he pays her to kill people so shes like whatever i can deal with this. and then she finds out he wants a consensual workplace relationship and shes like YAY HOW CAN I MANIPULATE THIS MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

babs/miles are dating at the beginning of cc, but their relationship gets a bit complicated due to babs being a little crazy about him and miles struggling with his sense of masculinity, its really not a relationship thats meant to last for long, its a bit tragic. (also why they are in love by david byrne is in both of their playlists LOL)

a few fun facts:

i dont think ive shared here is that prince and shirleys parents were movie stars! they met on the set of a film and had multiple movies with eachother. prince and shirley both had an odd childhood under a lot of surveillance from the public, plus their parents weren't very great parents. they both react to their trauma very differently, prince being "grateful" for it, giving him media training and feeling like his parents crafted him (even when he knows his parents didn't have much faith in him and bet a lot on shirley), while shirley absolutely despises the rest of her family. of course she'll go to the annual family dinner with prince, but that doesnt mean that she won't loathe every second of it.

pirplexa is a dog person! he loves dogs! he doesn't own one because he doesnt think hes in the right headspace to have one yet, but he will pet every random dog on the street. i like to think a few years after the events of cc when he's mentally better, he does adopt a dog.

miles and shirley don't get along very well, shirleys kinda like a bully older sister, she puts him in headlocks and stuff.

if you get the color symbolism (heh) in cc i will give you a badge. idk

shirley likes to write, babs likes to sing, miles likes to draw and design.

trill originally got a degree in botany, but realized she wanted to pursue comedy/acting instead. she can still correctly identify plants!!! yay!!!

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

More Arthur Morgan Headcannons

You guys really liked the Arthur Morgan headcannons last time (over 200 notes!) so I’m just gonna write some more out of the top of my head because why not?

Don’t forget to check out my newest 18+ NSFW excerpt from my rdr2 fanfic. It’s not for everyone, it’s an original character instead of an insert, but it’s on my page if you’re interested! 

Anyway, headcannons are under the cut! 

Arthur Morgan is a man who will beat himself up. No matter how small the issue, no matter what it was, maybe it wasn’t even his fault, but he’ll make himself believe that it was in fact his fault.

You tripped? 

His fault. He was distracting you. 

You sneezed?

Yep, his fault, he must have brought a cold to camp, and he kissed you, his fault. 

No matter what, some small, tiny little inconvenience, if he can link it back to himself, he will and he will blame himself. 

You have to convince him it isn’t his fault, and after a lot of talking eventually he will cave and say: “Well, maybe it ain’t my fault...” and then you have to do just a little bit more convincing because then he’s gonna ask repeatedly: “Can I do somethin’ to help you at least?” 

Arthur is also a man who does literally everything in his power to irritate/ rile you up. It’s hilarious to him. When nothing has happened and he isn’t busy trying to sit there and blame himself, he’s actually really loose and fun.

He loves to see you beet red in the face, and watching you get mad is funny enough he almost pissed himself once. He couldn’t remember the last time he laughed that hard. 

Hell you made him laugh so hard one time that he actually physically fell backwards on his ass, and while under normal circumstances he would have been embarrassed, he couldn’t even care that there was mud on his pants, not when he couldn’t breathe between chuckles. 

Arthur refuses to show you his Journal, he also refuses to show you what’s in his satchel. He’s easily embarrassed by the fact that he draws you all the time, and he’s afraid that he doesn’t do you justice. He feels like there’s no way in hell he could ever properly draw you out, and he doesn’t want you to see his ‘awful attempt’ at trying to show what he sees.

He knows you’re absolutely fantastic, beautiful, gorgeous, handsome, whatever you’d like to be called. He loves you to no ends, but he feels like he just can’t ever get the perfect look.

It never measures up to what he sees in his head, and he doesn’t want you to see it until he can get it just right.

You’ve seen a few sketches, on accident, you weren’t snooping, he left it open on the table next to his cot. 

He made you look absolutely stunning. Every little detail he captured was just down to the T. 

You didn’t know what to do, you decided it was best not to say anything, but the fact that Arthur saw you like that made you tear up every time you thought about it. 

Every once in a while you call Arthur “Mr. Morgan.” and he thinks that he’s upset you, and in reality he hasn’t done anything at all, you just think it’s funny to call him that rather than Arthur, or Art, or Arty, or any of the other various nicknames for him, because he’ll push out that bottom lip of his and furrow his brow as he tries to figure out what he did earlier. 

Though then you have to reassure him he didn’t do anything wrong, and then he’ll probably call you an ass before giving you a kiss.

Arthur’s favorite color, other than blue obviously, is actually red, he doesn’t know why, he hates dealing with blood, despite the fact that it’s on him more often than not, so it doesn’t make much sense to him as to why he’s so attracted to that deep maroon, but if you ask him what it is he’ll tell you both blue and red. 

Though he thinks that’s a stupid question.

His least favorite chore around camp is chopping wood. His back hurts, he rides a horse all day and he doesn’t have any back support, nothing for his lumbar, so chopping wood would, you think, crack his back, however it cracks it in the worse possible way. 

Sometimes its so bad that if he chops wood and just cracks his back the wrong way then he has to lay in his bed for a day or two, it’s too hurtful to move. 

Arthur braids your hair, he doesn’t think about it, it just happens, he gets bored and your hair is right there, and before you know it your hair is braided and the only reason it’s done so well is because he braids his horse’s tail. 

Sometimes you braid his, when he lets it grow long enough. He feels like it looks stupid, but you think it looks sweet. 

You put it up in a ponytail sometimes too, and again, he thinks it looks stupid and hates the way he looks with it, but you think he looks wonderful, and you do your best to try and convince him to keep it up like that. 

Sometimes, if you’re lucky he will.

Not only that, but Arthur sometimes cuts his hair short and grows his beard long, you’ll braid his beard and he looks like a Viking. You think it’s hot as hell. 

He does like this look better, and he will keep it for a long while, sometimes you can even convince him to grow out his hair longer too to complete the Viking look.

When he looks like that, you boost his confidence with all the compliments you give him. Though to be fair you give him a bunch of compliments anyway. 

Arthur loves sleep.

As much as he is awake and running around.

He’d sleep all day if he could, sleep all day, all night, and literally do anything he could to just sleep. Doesn’t matter where he is, how uncomfortable the spot was, no matter what, he would do his best to nap.

You love to see him nap, or sleep, it’s so attractive to see him sleep on his stomach, his hair all tousled and his arms under his head. 

He’s especially cute when he’s hardly awake and can barely speak.

“Arthur, are you awake?”

“Mhm...’m up.” 

“Are you really?” 

“Mhm.” 

“What are you doing today?”

“Hmh?” He shrugs.

He’ll look at you with half lidded eyes and a partially open mouth, trying to decipher what you’re telling him, but he’s not awake enough to fully comprehend what it is you’re trying to get him to understand. 

Sometimes you’ll see him napping against a rock or tree in camp, and sit next to him, lucky enough that he doesn’t wake up, and you’ll lean against him and take a nap there with him.

Usually by the time you wake up he’s managed to wrap his arms around you and pulled you into his lap. 

He snores too. 

Only sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, usually on a day that he’s been running around, the days he’s been lounging around he doesn’t snore too much. 

When he does snore, it’s not too loud, but it can be annoying, but you’ve gotten so used to it that you just listen to it to fall asleep at this point.

When you try to tell him he snores he doesn’t believe you and claims that you do, but you can tell by the red in his face that he does believe you. 

[the-bloody-sadist]

What’s the thing that fascinates you the most about wump and how did you learn about it in the first place if I may ask?

THE PAIN. HAHAHHAH.

No but seriously, whump is just a yippee look at this guy getting beat up by the author situation, not anything very deep. I mean for me, personally, I know why I enjoy certain things, but as I've mentioned too much, whump as a category doesn't exactly...exist? To me? If that makes any sense. From an author's perspective, it's just someone making sure there's conflict in a story, and that some character is put in danger so that the story will remain interesting and the stakes will be raised. If you spend a little longer on the beating them up part, that's just fun and games for the tension. I DON'T KNOW, IT'S STILL HARD FOR ME TO BE LIKE OH YEAH WHUMP INSTEAD OF OH YEAH, A NICE STORY DECISION THAT MAKES MY FINGERS TINGLE!

So to be honest, there wasn't "learning" about whump, it's always existed as my favorite part of whatever media I was consuming. Literally since I was a kid, as I've seen lots of others mention on here. But I was born a sadist, so that's not a surprise. Where the sadist ends and the psychology nerd with a special interest in trauma begins, I have no idea, but there are so many reasons I like seeing and writing and drawing characters getting whumped. There's no particular fascination, I don't think? More of a coping need. I've always used it as an emotional/stress release, especially in childhood when there was nowhere else for that to go without endangering myself.

Honestly, if anything were fascinating about it, it would be the fact that it NEVER gets old. I see new whump and suddenly I'm a hormonal teen again with an obsession over the smallest details of a scene where a man gets choked against a wall, listening to the tiniest changes in his breath, evaluating his line delivery through clenched teeth, appreciating the ominous soundtrack in the background, the little lines on his face as he makes the perfect pained expression....BAHAHHA NEEEERRRRDDDDD I'M SUCH A NERD.

It's better than porn, and I always call whump my porn addiction, because as a kid I never wanted to look up dicks in secret or search for people fucking. I just opened YouTube in a private browser and searched for Gale getting whipped in The Hunger Games and went on a spree of hunting for other videos like it. Or I'd rewatch scenes from the animated movies we had on DVD when my family was out of the house. But I'm also asexual, so who knows how much I was affected by the fact that I didn't want to know about sex except the parts where it could possibly hurt me (yeah, religious upbringing where the only thing I was allowed to read with sex in it was the Bible, where it's all violent rape).

Sorry for turning every single ask I get into a life story, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Thank you for asking, though! You may always ask! I just feel a little bad that whump is a weird topic for me and I mostly use that word to promote and tag my work so I get the right audience, not particularly because I interact with it the way I see other people do. Whump is great as a description, in my opinion, so people know what you're talking about, but as a category of story/media, I find it less helpful. I can't be interested in whump as a standalone. I have to have substance behind it, a story and a character I care about and proper writing of the tension to enjoy it.

OH GAHOOK I TOTALLY FORGOT, I discovered the actual NAME for this stuff once I joined Tumblr, unsurprisingly. I was really startled at the community existing, when I thought it was WAY too niche of an interest/obsession to find other people who talked about it the way the community did. My favorite part about the community existing is the absence of shame (a big part of my childhood and experience with whump) and the sharing of clips from movies and shows that I hadn't seen before. Plus, I've found at least three long original stories that I never would've found if I hadn't been here, and those were amazing. I'm still talking oh my god. Sorry.

Last thing, the box boy universe being a thing unique to this community is really nice. It's the asexual counterpart to the master/slave/pet BDSM theme with trauma driving it. Couldn't ask for a better way to indulge in my favorite dynamic, especially when there ARE sexual elements, and it's MORE TRAUMA.

OKAY I'M DONE. PFFFF, I TOOK LIKE FIVE BUSINESS DAYS OF BEATING AROUND THE BUSH JUST TO ANSWER YOUR SIMPLE QUESTION.