#fun but things are quickly going to Shit™

[arlmy07]

dreams are wack

So, my dream last night basically went like this...I was the President. And Gojo Motherfucking Satoru was my VP for some reason and Nanami was my secretary...

Picture this:

Me, a Very Small Person, sitting side by side with Gojo Satoru and Nanami Kento. We're in the Oval Office, I am in the president's chair, Gojo is sitting on the desk, and Nanamin is standing to the right, holding a stack of clipboards. Important people are coming through and telling me about Important things that need to be done and I am just sitting there, nodding stoically, while Nanamin takes notes and Gojo looks at everyone from over his glasses.

The line of Important people comes to an end. We sit there in silence, and then an alarm goes off, I wake up, but in my dream, and the First Lady, who is none other than TRAFALGAR LAW, walks in and tells me to get ready for my first day of being President.

So then I'm back in the Oval Office but "for real this time", with Gojo and Nanamin, ready to start being the President.

And all me and Gojo do the whole day long is sit in the Oval Office playing trashcan basketball and ordering a shit ton of food and sweets through UberEats and watching movies while Nanamin throws clipboards at our heads and tries to get us to do actual presidential stuff, whatever that is.

And then First Lady Trafalgar Law walks in and slaps me and says he's taking over the presidency because I forgot to kiss him good morning and then my alarm goes off in real life.

I'm trying to find some hidden meaning in all this but I'm pretty sure it's just sleep deprivation at it's finest...school and work are currently kicking my ass so it's believable haha

[mkstrigidae]

Apparently, the solution to my APWH writer's block was just opening up a new word document and rewriting the whole damn next chapter.

[archangeldyke-all]

Saw this post and immediately thought "wow I miss CEO Sevika, this would make such a nice Angel prompt"

Not entirely sure of a premise for this but let's say....Sevika and Reader have a small fight in the morning and Reader Isn't Happy™. She gets over it rather quickly, but decides to lightly tease Sevika the rest of the day, including through meetings. After their last meeting, she traps Sev in her office and tells her "Eat it" as an "apology."

FUCK YESSS this is so hot ehhehe

men and minors dni

"heyyyy..." seamus trails off as he walks into the break room beside you. you glare up at him.

"i don't wanna hear it."

"i didn't even say anything!" seamus exclaims. he walks to the coffee maker, his eyes on you the entire time as he fiddles with it. you sigh.

"we're fighting." you explain.

seamus nods. "that much is clear."

you cringe. "is she being a bitch?" you ask. you know how your wife can get when you're not there to tell her to bite her tongue. seamus makes a squeaky noise, then gives you a constipated expression.

"no." he lies. you snort and shake your head.

"fuck. i'm sorry. she went behind my back and scheduled herself a meeting on her birthday weekend." you explain. seamus pouts and sits beside you.

"but you guys always do something fun for her birthday."

"i know. guess not this year." you say with a sad shrug.

in past years, your birthday celebrations ranged from fancy dinners to weekend getaways. but it's not even the fact that you're missing out on a nice date with your wife. it's more than that.

"she just-- she doesn't fuckin' take breaks unless i force her, y'know? and these past few years she hasn't tried to argue takin' her birthday off. i just finally thought i got her used to takin' care of herself and she goes behind my back to do this shit..."

seamus frowns and pats your shoulder. "if it makes you feel any better, she's clearly regretting her decision now."

you giggle a little. it does make you feel better. "i should go back in there, huh?" you ask.

seamus nods. "yes, please. i forgot how fuckin' scary she is without you. nearly pissed myself givin' her the morning report."

you giggle and pat seamus' shoulder. "you're a good friend."

"and you're a good wife!" he shouts behind you. you laugh and shake your head as you walk toward your shared office with sevika.

she's drawn all the blinds-- a clear sign that she's in a bad mood. you roll your eyes and take a deep breath, then push into the office.

sevika's eyes dart up from her desk, her gaze softening as it lands on you. something inside you flutters. she's still so sweet, even when she's pissing you off.

"seamus says you're being mean." you say, closing the door behind you. you lock it, not wanting anybody to walk in on you and sevika arguing. sevika sinks into her chair, guiltily.

"well, what do you expect? my wife's been giving me the cold shoulder all day."

you roll your eyes and walk over to sevika's desk, sitting in front of her. she smiles sweetly up at you, wrapping her arms around your legs. you shake your head in amusement. "you're not off the hook y'know." you sigh as you reach down to cup sevika's face, combing your fingers through her hair.

sevika nods in your grasp. "i know." she whispers. "does it make it any better if i tell you i cleared an entire week out for us at the end of the month?" she asks.

you have to bite your cheek to keep from laughing in excitement. "what?"

"i rearranged some things. booked us a room at our favorite little resort."

"you did, huh?" you ask. sevika kisses your hand and nods.

"i'm sorry." she says finally. "baby, i really am." she kisses a trail up your arm, nuzzling against the crook of your elbow. you frown down at your wife, trying your best to keep your resentment strong, but it's so hard when she's so cute. you can't believe this is the woman all your co-workers find scary, she's like a fucking puppy.

"mmm. i dunno if i can forgive you yet." you say.

sevika pouts. "what can i do to make it up to you?" she asks.

you giggle. you were hoping she'd ask that. you squish her cheeks together in your hands kissing her puckered lips, before letting go of your hold on her and turning around in her grip, laying yourself on her desk and wiggling your ass in her face just a bit.

"eat it." you say simply, pulling your skirt up and your panties to the side.

the sound sevika makes is equally endearing and arousing. something needy and guttural, a hint of surprise overwhelmed by a rush of need. she doesn't need to be told twice. you gasp as her hands smack your ass cheeks, spreading you open and humming as she takes a good look at you. you lean down onto your joint desks, grabbing your cardigan from the back of your chair to muffle your moans.

sevika spits on your asshole then dives forward, sloppily eating you out.

you shiver against the desks, reaching back to grab sevika's wrist. fuck she's good with her mouth. she's sloppy and passionate, her nose rubbing deliciously at your asshole while her tongue fucks your cunt. her chin's rubbing against your clit with her movements, and the little moans she's letting out at the taste of you are making you dizzy.

"fuck, i love you." you sigh, clawing at her forearm. sevika's free arm smacks your ass-- her response to your words. you giggle. "you piss me off sometimes but-- ah!" you giggle as sevika bites your inner thigh. "but you make up for it pretty well." you finish.

sevika chuckles against you and kisses her bite mark. "can't be fully forgiven 'til you cum on my tongue." she says. you snort.

"you're a freak." you say with glee. sevika giggles, then flicks your clit with her tongue. you gasp. "fuck-- please." you beg. sevika hums and sucks your clit into her mouth, her thumb working circles around your asshole. you groan and push back against her. "please!" you whine.

"shhhhh baby." sevika scolds, smacking your ass with an impact much louder than your whine had been. "somehow i'm the freak while you're beggin' for my fingers in your ass."

you growl and reach back, pulling sevika's face back toward your cunt by her hair. she muffles her giggles against you and continues her work, lapping up your arousal and working her thumb against your ass again. "fuck, i'm close." you whine.

sevika grunts against you, hooks her thumb inside you, and chuckles as you fall apart. you bury your face into your cardigan, trying to muffle your moans. judging by the way sevika's moaning against you, though, you aren't doing a very good job.

your body sags against the desks when sevika pulls away. she snorts, smacks your ass one last time, and straightens your clothes back out before pulling you to sit down in her lap.

you sigh dreamily, letting your head lean back on her shoulder, kissing her cheek as she caresses your body.

"so... am i forgiven?" she asks. you giggle.

"mmm. i guess."

sevika grins. "nice. you wanna help me with these tax forms?" she asks, gesturing to the pile of papers on her desk. you snort.

"hell no."

sevika pouts up at you, and you wiggle in her lap against her hard, hot, trapped dick. "f-fuck, watch it baby!" she whines.

you laugh. "how about i crawl under our desks and take care of this for you while you do all the boring paperwork for me, hmm?"

sevika's smile is blinding. fuck, how hopelessly in love with someone do you have to be that the sight of their tooth gap turns you on?

"that sounds like a real good plan, baby." she says. you giggle and shimmy off her lap, only to be stopped by her arms wrapping around your waist. "wait." she whispers. you turn to face her, ready to ask what she needs, when she leans forward and kisses you sweetly. she pulls away, smiles at you, then shrugs and leans in to kiss you one more time. "okay. now you can blow me." she says.

you burst into giggles as you make your way under her desk.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @vkumi @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25

@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby

@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17 @losernb @p1nkearth

taglist!!

@sevikas-baby @ghostscandys @sevikasllver @runawaybaby3 @lesbones

@chezze-its @lez-zuha @vikashoneybee @shanesevikasfuckdoll @imheadintothemountains

@nanajustnana-a @helaenabugmom

[thesummerpetrichor]

𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓰𝓵𝓪𝓼𝓼: 𝓣𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓸

Stepdad!Javier Peña x afab!fem!reader

Summary: The year is 1979 and it's the summer after graduation. You want to make the most of the vacation, but going to shady dance bars is a lot harder now that your new stepfather works for the DEA.

Warnings: 18+ only minors DNI you will be blocked. Mentions of DEA, cops and raids, stepdad trope and all that comes with, minor DUBCON, big juicy age gap [reader is 18/19 when she meets Javi, Javi is in his mid 40s], reader wears a dress, petnames, mommy issues ™ , alcohol consumption, mean!brat tamer!dom!Javi then soft!Javi, brat!reader, rough sex, “virginity” loss & minor mention of blood, sex in the woods on the hood of Javi’s car, mentions of F masturbation, some reader x oc, Javi gives reader her first orgasm, major size kink [Javi is bigger than the reader, can rough house with her], degradation, dumbification, reader is insanely horny, satanic levels of dirty talk, finger sucking, choking, spanking [with a belt and hand] , a few slaps [as always], fingering, unprotected P in V [be better!!], creampie. Let me know if I missed anything 🫶

Word count: 7.2k

A/N: I am impossibly excited for this stepdad trilogy. This is part 1/3 so it’s only 1/3 the fun and debauchery. Few Easter eggs thrown in.. see if you can spot em 🤭.This is set up after the events of season 2 and before the events of season 3, in a year where Javi is taking a break before Cali, but feel free to imagine otherwise. Enjoy!!

Masterlist

​​Once I had a love and it was a gas

Soon turned out had a heart of glass

Seemed like the real thing, only to find

Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

Once I had a love and it was divine

Soon found out I was losing my mind

It seemed like the real thing, but I was so blind

Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

You stood at the entrance, one foot tapping restlessly on the wooden floorboards. In an effort to keep your head down you fiddled aimlessly with the clasp on your watch, knowing full well you weren’t going to be paying attention to anything but the time that flashed on its face. An older, blonde woman came stomping onto the patio, swinging the wooden door behind you so hard on her way the rattle it produced when it slammed shut knocked the flimsy “BAR” sign right off. You jumped, then took another step away from the establishment.  

You could almost feel the bass of the engine thrumming in your chest as it got closer. The tires crunched against the gravel as it neared. You still couldn’t see it. You hoped it was her. 

It wasn’t long before a red convertible was nearing, the number plate sending a shaky, relieved sigh hurtling past your lips. Agitated, drunk and anxiety ridden, you ran towards and then jumped into Lorrain’s car– hoping and praying the ride would give you a beat to sober up. 

It wasn’t the first time you’d had to sneak back into your room well past midnight. It was so much of a habit you could sell a course on how to accomplish it with the utmost skill and precision. What was rare, however, was having to perform the task while shaken up so severely. The side of your small, once welcoming home seemed more alien than ever, your bedroom looking far higher off the ground than you remembered. 

Nevertheless, a few missteps and about 10 minutes later you stumbled through your open window, quickly stripping to your underwear and shoving your dirty, alcohol laced clothes under your bed. You cursed your “parents” at the fact that you still needed to do this shit like a fucking highschooler. 

The sound of feet padding towards your bedroom door startled you, and you jumped to pull on your sleep shorts before what you knew was your stepdad coming up the stairs. 

You hoped and prayed he hadn't caught wind of the way you screamed when your foot missed the ledge below your window, or worse, that his partner hadn’t given him a call to inform him of the familiar face he saw at the shack that night. 

No matter how many times you liked to imagine he would bend you over his knee and discipline you, how many times you imagined it was him with his hand under your skirt or head between your legs as some clumsy 20 year old rutted against your thigh, you knew full well if Javier actually ever caught your antics, the consequences were going to be a whole lot less ideal than that. 

As you jumped under the covers you recalled the way Agent Steve Murphy had cocked his head at you back at the bar. The way your stepfather’s partner had squinted his eyes at you in confusion, doing a double take at your skimpy outfit, short dress and boots, the way the men at the bar had their hands all over you. 

You prayed it wasn’t too late before you turned your head away, that it wasn’t too late before you swiftly moved out of that bar, before he could be sure it was you he was seeing. 

Because if he was, there would be absolute hell to pay. 

—

One summer, when you were maybe eight or nine, you developed an absurd obsession with riding your bike up the slope that led away from your small town. Eventually, the uphill roads veered away, twisting and turning into a thousand different rocky paths that converged at one point only a few hundred metres from the large sign that welcomed people into the town. The singular, welcoming road led straight into the woods. Back then, it seemed endless, providing a warm, hospitable buffer for the hills that loomed over the town with a somewhat protective intimidation. Like the woods were watching over your every move. 

Everyday, for three months, you’d bust out your front door at 18:00 on the dot and make the journey uphill. Exhaustively pushing your bike past that sign and into what was nature's much welcome respite from your mothers neglectful cruelty. You collected rocks by the stream that ran through those woods, leaves and flowers to keep in your room. It was like they were magic. Like they wanted to get to know you, be your friend. The trees formed a canopy over you, like they wanted to shield you from the winds and the setting sun, and most importantly from the town below. 

One day you remember hearing some rustling coming from up the stream. You didn't think much of it, must have been a deer or something of the sort. You continued foraging for little flowers and rocks, that was until you came across something that didn't really belong. A piece of white lace. It looked new, but dirty, there was cotton under half of it. It seemed like it was part of a dress. Someone must have lost it up there. You didn't investigate. Things were calm and quiet again as usual, but it wasn't long before the rustling from upstream got louder, just slightly, and you heard the clatter of a metal rod to the ground, followed by a heavier, louder thud. 

You turned on your heel and away from the stream, it took you four minutes to find the welcome sign to your town again. By 19:00 you were home. 

You never went back to the woods again. That August your mother informed you you were going to school in the city. 

— 

To say you were unhappy to come home from boarding school to the news your mother was marrying a cop would be an understatement, and while you tried not to be too judgy and give him a chance, to say you were surprised when he turned out to be a complete authoritarian would be an even bigger understatement. 

You knew of Agent Peña, he was somewhat of a local celebrity. You’d seen him on your summers home since you were sixteen- picking up beers at the convenience store, smoking cigarettes outside the petrol station. You and your friends would often drool over him, wait for him to show up at a neighbourhood barbeque, or catch him taking a walk around the block. 

Eventually, you grew up, and outgrew your little hallway crush on the, now, mostly tiresome Agent Peña. Because soon you weren't sixteen. And his holier than thou, saviour complex, and affinity for order only made you roll your eyes. In fact he was quite annoying. He made little effort to contribute to the community, still riding his high from his days in Colombia. 

You wondered why those people revered him like he was taking bullets for your town. 

You were absolutely flabbergasted when you found out your mother was marrying him. At first, a little bit jealous for the teenager who once fawned over him, but quickly more concerned for the fact that he was actually someone who you’d have to interact with, and not just a piece of eye candy you could appreciate out and about. 

Hell, he was becoming family, and your stepfather no less. It was torturous. You did not need another person to worry about in your home. 

“So.. What’re you studying?” He crossed his left leg over the right, and asked you. His hand reached out to receive the glass of whiskey your mother poured him. He hadn’t been in your house for ten minutes and you already couldn’t stand his guts. Besides the fact that he was a cop, he had this air about him… what exactly, you weren’t quite sure. A superficial, macho exterior that felt like a bigger slap in the face than the fact that he was sitting on the nice, upholstered, expensive, armchair your father had paid for. 

Unsurprisingly, Agent Peña often indulged you in riveting conversation about the dangers of indulging in alcohol and drugs at a young age as he puffed on his cigarette, and lectured you, in what you knew as truly your mothers fashion, about how young people these days didn't know a thing, and that they must always respect and follow the lead of their elders. 

Much like mother dear, he paid little attention to you other than to reprimand you for whatever it was you weren’t doing correctly; for when you didn’t do the dishes on time, or were staying out too late, as if it was any of his business to even begin with. He seemed to really enjoy the protective dad role. It fit in well with the rest of his pathetic persona. 

No wonder they got along.

You remember almost gagging when he boasted about the college you were set to attend, one arm slung across your shoulder, at the party your aunt threw for your graduation. Like he had absolutely anything to do with it. You excused yourself partly to avoid the embarrassment and partly to roll your eyes. A small part of you enjoyed his proud boasting, but you were not ready to unpack that yet. 

In the time the couple weren’t circle jerking about their views, you were lucky enough to be the recipient of snide comments that were so obviously meant for your late father. To his credit Javier Peña didn’t involve himself in the conversation. You couldn’t say the same for a lot of your mother’s previous lovers. 

Since you were ten years old you had been making your own decisions, doing what you wanted and living on your terms. To return to your home for the summer after graduation, now 18, and have to abide by someone else’s meaningless regulations, was a rather harsh slap in the face. Not to mention this someone had been in your life all of two months, and really enjoyed acting like he knew anything about you, or your family. 

Sometimes, when you’d climb down the stairs of that quaint suburban home, the home that once belonged to your family, in the middle of the night to grab a glass of water or a snack, you’d see him sitting out on the porch, hunched over a whole bunch of shit you couldn’t bother caring about, with his ashtray dangerously close to all that flammable paper. 

His shirt stretched deliciously over his back, his hand reaching out to ash his cigarette every once in a while. You were glad he was infuriating, had he not been such a prick it might have revived the little bit of a crush you had on him. 

Sometimes you felt a little bit bad for rolling your eyes at him, or shutting down his attempts to initiate group plans. If you were being honest you were surprised when he didn’t blow up at you for talking back or being rude– that was when your mother wasn’t around. When she was, he didn’t have to. She would jump at any chance to start a fight. You were even more surprised when Javier tried to diffuse the situation. 

You figured soon enough that perhaps the Javier Peña you met a few months prior was putting quite the show on for his overbearing, obnoxious lover. Of course, you were sure he hardly saw her that way. He was perhaps a lot smarter than you gave him credit for. 

Javier often chided your mother when you spoke back to her, rather unexpectedly calling out her bad parenting and the behaviour she “modelled” for you when you were a child. You overheard them argue after a big blowout, from your room. It upset you that he was even getting involved. He tried to talk to you about it later, but that was the last thing you wanted to do. 

Obviously, you knew your hatred of them both had something to do with your psychologically deprived childhood, but it baffled you how neither of them, especially wannabe father of the year Javier Peña, didn’t realised your isolated anger would perhaps be diminished if they stopped trying to meddle in your life, the one neither of them seemed to care about unless something about it upset them. 

If he really cared about your wellbeing he’d take his wife and get the fuck out of your life. You were an adult, one that wasn’t going to listen to anyone, especially not the mother who packed you away all those years ago, and her hypocritical, infuriating husband. 

Thats why, despite having almost gotten caught and having your ass handed to you less than forty eight hours prior, you were back at the shack, drink in hand, stupidly forgetting exactly what had you scrambling to get out there in the first place. 

Who could have even blamed you? Your mother had been especially annoying that particular morning, and Javier and his buddies had colonised the house for a barbeque in the afternoon. In what even you recognised as somewhat juvenile rebelion, you decided the universe owed you some fun after having to endure their patronising, senseless chit chat all day. 

It wasn’t even that late, but you were already feeling it, the effects of the countless drinks you had downed over the course of the few hours you had been dancing at the bar. Nothing unusual in that, men often offered to buy you drinks, handsome ones at that, and you didn’t have the money to live extravagantly. Besides, if you weren’t going to use your charm what was it even there for? 

Was it Timmy? Tommy? You couldn't even recall his name by the time he was tossing you onto the counter in the bar’s bathroom. To be honest you couldn’t really figure out much of your surroundings, letting yourself get lost in the delicate, dizzy, tipsy haze as his hands slipped under your skirt to squeeze at your thighs. Your regular drunk hookup, or rather someone you disappointingly rolled around with till he finished and left you to roll your hips against your pillow wishing your hands were your Stepfather’s. 

His lips brushed your neck, sloppily planting kisses up and down your skin, nipping at your collar bones as he pushed himself between your legs. You closed your eyes and imagined he was Javier. The thought made you moan and you reached for his collar to pull him closer. He didn't smell like Javi, wasn't as big, his chest wasn’t as firm, his arms didn't envelop you like Javi’s did. 

You felt him swell against you, and you pushed against him, mind once again drifting to Javier standing at the grill in your backyard. His white linen shirt unbuttoned far too low, rolled up sleeves drawing your eyes to his forearms. He’d had a hand on his hip, a sliver of skin right above the band of his shorts just barely visible. 

He smiled at you, and you had worried he’d caught you staring. You revelled in the image. You recalled how he leaned against the edge of the pool with the afternoon sun beating down on his golden skin. You imagined his hands moving under your bra to squeeze your breast. 

You were rather embarrassingly enjoying the little montage of your stepdad that was playing in your head. You had almost forgotten it was tommy, or timmy rolling his hips against yours. If a loud, wall rattling thud hadn’t interrupted you, you would've enjoyed your little delusion even longer. 

To say you were startled was an understatement, you practically leaped right off the counter. Unable to really gather your bearings in time, you barely registered timmy, or tommy, scrambling to fix his shirt, you yourself rushing to cover up and fix the top of your dress. 

From the corner of your eye you caught a hand grab him by the shoulder and shove him towards the door, dragging him out of the bathroom and towards a building commotion outside. You heard people yelling, but couldn’t really make out what was going on. 

When you looked up and found Javier looking dead at you, instead of your little fling, you damn near collapsed. He looked like he was on the verge of a heart attack. In a second he was shutting the door behind him, and flicking the lock. You would’ve ran, but its not like you could go anywhere, besides, hed gotten a good look at your face gawking at him, like a fucking moron. 

It was over. 

“You’re fucking kidding me.” you hopped off the counter and tumbled into his chest.  He took you by the arm and dragged you right to the back of the bathroom, you struggled to remain on your feet but he didn’t really care. Much of your dizziness was thanks to your new found anxiety and had little to do with the vodka you’d been downing all night. This was definitely not an ideal situation. His grip on your arm tightened, and made you wince. You liked the sting, not so much the rest of the whole ordeal. “This where you’ve been fuckin’ going?” he seethed, coming close enough that your noses almost touched, he shook you lightly by the arm as he spoke. 

You tried to wiggle out of his grip, but he pulled you closer. “None of your fucking business.” Sure, you weren’t on your best behaviour, but did he really think he could boss you around? 

“Sure as hell’s my fucking business.” he took a look behind him, then turned back to you and leaned closer. “‘DEA agent’s step daughter dancing at illegal drug club’ sure gonna make a sweet headline.” His fingers dug into your flesh. Only then did it hit you why exactly he was in your dingy shack to begin with. You heard Timmy arguing with someone outside. You felt your palms become impossibly clammier. 

“Just fucking turn me in then, asshole.” you got closer, and you were sure he could smell the vodka off your breath. You wished that sounded as courageous and bold out loud as it did in your head. His eyes jumped to your lips, and he rolled them, huffing in frustration. You felt your own eyes burn, and your vision became blurry. You didn't want to cry in front of that bastard. You looked away. 

“To whom? Myself” his thumb smoothed over your skin, and his grip lightened. “Not gonna arrest you, fuckin’ idiot.” he rolled his eyes, then dropped your arm to put his hands on his hips. He looked down and sighed, massaging his temple and then glancing behind him again. 

“Riskin it all for that fuckin’ looser?” He let out a half hearted laugh, looking somehow both disappointed and smug. You wanted to punch him in the face. You would have, if he didnt happen to be the only thing between you and one dozen other narcs outside. 

He glanced at the ground for a second, then back at you and fixed the strap of your top that had slipped down your shoulder. “Get in the car.” he pointed behind you, and you looked in the direction to see a small, open window. 

“Know you're good at climbing outta windows.” you felt your cheeks heat so much they burned. Your heart hadn’t really recovered from his big, surprise entry yet. You couldn't stand to look at his frustrated, let down face. 

Javi cocked his head and raised his brows, whispering a strained “go”. You had no choice, you turned away from him and towards the window. 

—

“Where are we going?”

He didn't look away from the road ahead. Hand gripping the steering wheel with a renewed annoyance. “Better stop asking questions before s’ too late brat.” You opened your mouth to speak, but quickly shut it right back up again. You decided it was probably a lot smarter to just shut up and not bother him any longer– regardless of the thousand questions and worries you had swimming in your head. 

If you were lucky, he was going to drive the both of you right off a cliff, because if your mother caught any wind of what you had been doing, your plans for going to college, and living out of your house would fly right out the window. Not to mention the torture that would insue when she demanded to know your whereabouts all day everyday for the rest of the foreseeable future. 

“Don't want ya hangin’ round the countryside, in these barns, nothing good happens in there.” he looked over you momentarily, 

“Oh what? Are the cows joining in on the drug trade?” 

“Newspaper boys, going missin’. Found him in the lake, about two miles from here.” you pressed your lips together. 

The car ride thus passed in a painful, tense silence. Javier was clearly unhappy with the whole situation, but had decided not to immediately blow up in your face? Everything about that unsettled you. He was so shocked he seemed to be in denial. You'd much prefer if he just yelled at you and got it over with. 

What else was there to do? Surely he wasn’t going to turn you over to the cops, he had his chance to do that already. However Javier never missed a chance to reprimand you, maybe he wanted to get a few words in before ruining your future. 

You wouldn’t put it past him anyway. 

The empty streets gave way to a narrow, winding road that cut through the woods. The familiar landscape of your small town faded away, replaced by shadowy silhouettes of trees that loomed closer and closer to the edge of the road. The headlights pierced the darkness, illuminating the dense foliage– closing in around you. The road twisted and turned, each bend bringing you deeper into the night, and further away from any civilisation. 

Beginning to zone out, you kept your eyes ahead, now unable to recognise left from right, and importantly, exactly how far out from town you had come.  It wasn’t long before the “farwell, drive safe” sign that stood at the edge of the woods was swiftly moving past your right shoulder. A pit was quick to form in your stomach, the lowered window by Javi’s side let the cool breeze in. It wrapped around you and made you shiver. The smell of the woods soon overcame you. 

Eventually,the car came to a stop in a small clearing. You watched Javi, but he paid no attention to you. The silence was almost deafening, broken only by the faint rustle of leaves and the occasional creak of branches swaying in the wind. In the distance, an owl hooted, its call echoed through the trees. You felt like a child about to be reprimanded after getting in trouble at school. You could hear the ticking of the cooling engine, each sound amplified in the stillness of the night. The dark woods pressed in on you. 

After what felt like an eternity, he opened his door, stepping out and gesturing for you to do the same with his head. Still absolutely clueless about what exactly he was doing, you decided just to follow along. He wasn’t going to actually kill you or anything. Probably just wanted to scare you. He had always thought he was a lot more scary than he actually was. At least that's what your brain was telling you. Your heart had other plans. 

You watched from inside as Javi began to cross in front of you, for a good three seconds he stood directly ahead of you, facing you in the beams of the headlights. The sight made you shiver. He took a step out of the light. Taking a long deep breath to psych yourself up, after a short moment you opened your door. Javi placed his arm on the top of said door, leaning against it to watch you get out. 

You almost tripped, but Javi caught you by the arm and manhandled you to the front of his truck. Your eyes took a moment to adjust to the light, and when he turned you to face the hood it blinded you. 

The scrape of your shoes against the damp soil, the crunch of the leaves– it was pretty much all you could really register. The moon shone bright, shining through the trees, but your eyes had not yet adjusted to the darkness. “These woods are fucking haunted.” A bug landed on the side of your face and you jumped, shaking your head and swatting it away. Javier laughed behind you and you rolled your eyes. “Ghosts the least of your worries right now, bunny .” 

“Fuckin gross.” He shook you by the arm, his voice now a tad bit more annoyed than it was a little earlier. “Oh really?” He pushed you against the hood of his car, your back now facing it. You couldn’t see his eyes, any part of his face at all, you could barely see anything. You wondered how he moved so confidently in the dark. He must have practice. 

“I ain’t sneakin’ out to be a slut every night.” His hands moved to grab your waist and your heart jumped. You swallowed, feeling more defiant yet sceptical by the second. “Sorry you’re not getting any, but it's not my fault, dirty old man.” Before you could even gauge his reaction your head was snapping to the side, a sharp burn spreading across your cheek as Javier’s hand made contact with your skin. 

“I'm not getting any?” he laughed, then took your face between his fingers and squeezed your cheeks together. You winced, and your vision got blurry. You felt your panties dampen embarrassingly. “I ain't the one lettin’ stupid boys rub up on me, bunny.” He shook your face gently, voice so seething and cruel you whimpered, somehow more desperate for him than you were before. 

“Desperate little slut.” He grabbed you by the shoulders and flipped you around, and promptly told you to “shut that whore mouth” when you screamed that he could fuck right off. His fingers left tender spots all over your arms and waist, and you winced when he manhandled you into bending over the hood of his car. 

He placed a hand on your back to press you down, the other held your waist in a death grip and you felt him press up against your ass. Your dress had ridden up, and surely left little to the imagination. The denim of his jeans rubbed against your upper thighs, and the tips of your shoes barely scraped the ground with how far up the hood of the car he had thrown you. You whimpered and he shushed you with a hand squeezing around your throat from behind. 

You knew you had to be unjustifiably wet by this point. You felt yourself throb when Javi put his hands under your dress and grabbed the waistband of your panties. He pressed his hips into yours and you felt his bulge through the fabric. 

The jingle of his belt sent a shiver down your spine, every hair on the back of your neck standing up at attention. You caught your bottom lip between your teeth, still undecided about how exactly you felt about this entirely new development. 

Your heart jumped when he ran the leather across your skin, slowly, perhaps to catch you off guard when he finally struck you with it. You lurched forward, the pain so sharp a tear was quick to roll down your cheek. He struck you again, holding you down with his other hand. The sound of each slash, and your whines that followed echoed in the distance. 

“Think you’re fuckin cute, don’t you.” It was horribly embarrassing to be bent over the hood of his car, both palms on holding you up as best they could whilst he landed spank after spank on your bare ass. “Like bein a wild child?” Your scream echoed in the woods when his belt made sharp contact with your flesh. Your knees buckled but Javier's hand on your waist held you up before it was retreating to land another slap on your ass. Tears were dampening the neckline of your dress already, rolling down your neck and rendering you a bigger mess with every sharp spank of his belt. 

“Yeah? You get off on all those men touchin’ ya? Like being passed around like a cheap whore?” He gripped your hips so tight you didn’t even bother trying to wiggle out of his hold. “Should take ya to the office sometime, hand ya off to Steve, let him have some fun with you.”

You shook your head at that, there was only one man in the DEA offices you wanted, and unfortunately it wasn’t anybody that could actually be with. You clenched your thighs. 

“Knew you were a fuckin’ nasty little girl.” He wedged his hand between them, pushing them apart and slightly spreading your thighs. His fingers rubbed over your clothed cunt, your panties now damp from all that had ensued. You shivered, then pushed back against his digits. 

His fingers found your clit and you moaned. “Did ya cum?” he asked, referring to your little escapade at the bar. Suddenly, you were a whole lot less bold than you were a few moments ago, it wasn’t ideal to admit what you were going to, and it seemed almost impossible without sounding rather pathetic. 

He stopped moving his fingers and pinched the inside of your thigh. “Answer me.” You whispered a “no” bracing yourself for whatever embarrassing comment Javier was going to throw back at you in response. “Huh.. No one fucked this tight little snatch before? Savin’ yourself for me?” he ruminated on the thought, sounding far more pleased than you would have desired. He wasn’t exactly right, but he definitely wasn’t wrong either. 

When you remained quiet he leant beside your ear, lips ghosting the skin on your neck. “Hmm, that right? “Wish it was me instead of that stupid boy?” You groaned at his smug voice, then when his fingers slid under your panties and between your dripping folds. “Wished his finger’s were mine tonight, didnt you?” He cursed under his breath at how wet you were. “How many times d’you cum dreamin’ bout your stepdaddy fuckin your tight lil pussy…” 

“Haven’t” You pressed your face against the metal of his car, cheeks on fire at your admission. He remained silent behind you for a beat, then gently lifted you to press your back to his chest with a hand around your throat. He pressed a hot, open mouthed kiss against your neck, and the hand that was between your legs slid under your dress to plam your tit through your bra. “Ever?” 

You gasped as he pulled it down, rolling your nipple between his fingers. You shook your head and pressed back against his hard cock. The buckle of his belt dug into your skin and you could almost feel the sting against your ass once again. He pulled you impossibly closer to him, hand returning between your legs. 

He rubbed your clit in slow circles and then pushed two fingers into your entrance. “Full of surprises, aren't ya?” you gasped at the stretch, his fingers were surely far bigger than your own, or any others that had been anywhere near your pussy.  “don't blame ya’ bunny , nothing like the real thing, huh?” 

You bit your lip harder to keep from moaning, already far closer to finishing than you had ever been before, especially when he stroked your walls, mercifully scissoring you open in an uncharacteristic show of thoughtfulness. 

“So fuckin’ wet, bunny .” he curled his digits, reaching that sweet spot inside you as he thumbed your clit. You pushed back against him, feeling yourself continue to gush around his hand. “Gonna slide right in at this rate.” 

He yanked your panties down with so much force you heard a few stitches rip in the silence. Javier groaned, and you leaned back against him when his hand moved away from your pussy to slide his hard cock between your thighs, his hips flush against yours. He squeezed your tit in his palm as he pulled back a little, sliding against your swollen cunt again. 

You felt your arousal smear against your thighs. He muttered a strained “Can’t wait much longer, bunny” . You, yourself thought you might have gone crazy if he waited longer. He pulled his hips back again, notching the head at your entrance and pushing in in a single, slow thrust. 

You winced and then moaned, body unable to adjust to the sheer size of him so quickly, yet still hungry for more. You hadn’t felt quite so full ever before, you could feel his cock deep inside you. Your hand covered his on your chest and you mewled and whimpered when he moved his hips, replicating the sharp thrust again, and then again. 

It wasn’t long before he was pushing you back down against the hood of his car to get a better grip on your hips. He twisted your wrist as you reached out for him, holding both in one large palm as he found a steady rhythm. The almost unbearable stretch slowly melted away into a delicious, burning need, and in only a few moments you were pressing back against him, pleading for him to pick up his pace. 

“You rub your pretty little cunt thinking ‘bout my cock splitting you open?” You moaned a “yes” every part of your body now hot with need as he kept fucking into your warm, wet, heat. 

“How?” When you didn't answer he landed a spank to your ass, this time with his hand, and right over the spot his belt had left its sting on not so long ago. You yelped and surged forward. His hand on your hip pulled you back. You pulled yourself up, craving the heat of his chest against your back. 

“On my- oooh” your palm landed over his, fingers wrapping around one of his larger ones as you cut yourself off with a moan “On my pillow.” The memory made you throb harder, and the hand that was holding Javiers guided it away from your hip and closer to the cut of your thigh, craving the feel of his fingers on your clit. 

He squeezed the flesh of your thigh and chuckled, hot breath fanning against your now sweaty skin. “Thought as much. My little slut. Knew I heard ya..” he took your earlobe between his teeth for a moment, nipped and then licked a stripe up your neck “tryna make yourself cum. Couldn't figure it out yourself huh?” 

You shook your head. “horny little girl, need me to do everything for ya.” You had indeed, countless times rather ashamedly. The thought that he’d possibly heard you long enough for it to be a problem, had likely fucked your mother at the thought, wishing it was you under him in her stead was a thought that would live in your head for all eternity. 

He kissed your cheek, then pushed you back down. “S’why ya keep spreading your legs for the whole world huh?” He put a palm on the middle of your back, holding you down as he continued to thrust inside you. “Chasin’ cock all day long.”

“Can’t help this whore cunt huh? So desperate to cum.” holding yourself up on your forarms you raised your head, turning back to get a look at him fucking into your desperate pussy. 

“Knew it the moment I fuckin’ saw you. Dumb slut got nothing to her name besides this sweet pussy. No one taught ya any manners, how to be a good little girl.” His thumb brushed over the cut of your jaw, fingers squeezing your cheeks. His index and middle fingers swiped your lips, and they instinctively parted to let him push them in. You sucked and drooled around his digits, doing little to contain your moans as he continued to fuck you from behind. The taste of your arousal sat heady on your tongue. “Always knew ya wanted it, stupid little slut.”

“Runnin that whore mouth all day like you're payin’ for the house.” his hips snapped towards yours, his cock buried deep inside you. “But it aint your house, bunny .” With the way your tits were pressing against the smooth metallic finish of his stupid pickup truck you were sure they were going to leave a mark. 

You released his fingers with a pop, and he grabbed you by the hips and flipped you around, hurriedly tossing you onto the hood of his car till your feet were also planted firmly above the bumper. Before you could even register the movement he was slipping back inside you, you felt yourself pulse around his cock. You hoped and prayed no one was remotely near, your wailes and whines loud enough to travel far into the distance. 

“Get that in your fuckin’ head” He tapped his index gently against your temple and you nodded, frantically pleading yes after yes. You felt him throb inside you, each drag of his cock building the tension in your belly. You felt your pussy squeeze around him, and you wiggled your hips closer to chase the feeling. 

Your head turned side to side, your whole body buzzing at the heat between your legs. You don't think you’d ever felt anything like it. Sure, it felt good to touch yourself, but this, the feeling of his cock inside you, against your wet walls, it was entirely different. 

The tension only built in your hips, your skin erupting in goosebumps as you hurtled closer and closer to the edge. Your palms squeezed your breasts, seeking purchase on any part of your body. 

You lay your back down completely, watching the light hit him right in the face, falling against his features to create sharp lines of contrast. You’d take a good long look at him on top of you to save for later, but he was quickly pressing his lips to yours and your eyes fluttered shut. 

The weight of his body on top of yours was enough to make you cum on your own, but the feeling of his lips was what really did it. For how rough and quick he was splitting you open, his mouth moved gently against yours, his warm tongue parting your lips and gliding into your mouth. You moaned against him and he bit your lip, sensing how close you were. 

“Wanna see that face when you cum for me.”  his palm tilted your face upwards, and while the rest of his fingers continued to squeeze around your neck his thumb slipped between your parted lips. Instinctively, you closed your mouth around him, drooling and moaning around his thumb when he hit the sweet spot inside you over and over. Your pussy clenched around his cock and you tried to whimper his name. You felt another word bubble in your throat but you closed your lips around his digit to push it away. Your eyes fluttered shut at the intensity. 

“Cum for me, lil bunny” his words made you tumble over the edge, your cunt squeezing and gushing around his cock, your back arching off the hood of his car. His fingers squeezed around your neck, holding your face in place so he could get a good look at your eyes rolling back into your head. 

It was like a blackout, your ears rang so loud and your lips loosened around his thumb, going slack as you rode out your high. You felt him throb inside you at the sight. You felt the ache deep inside you, all the pleasure bursting in a single climactic second. Your lips fell slack around his fingers, whole body twitching at the sensation. 

Your climax set him off, and it wasn't long before he was burying himself inside your hot heat. His cock pulsed against your wet walls, painting your insides with his spend. He groaned and squeezed around your neck just a little harder. You sucked his thumb gently and heard him curse under his breath. You tried to keep your fluttering eyes on his face, watching intently as the aftershocks subsided and Javier's brows knit closer with his final few thrusts. 

After a few moments he stilled inside you, taking a moment to catch his breath. He pulled his thumb from your warm mouth to brush your bottom lip, then let his own lips take their place. You felt him pull out and you winced at the burn. He put both your legs up on his shoulders and leaned between your legs. 

You watched as his head disappeared between your legs to place a kiss to your inner thigh, and pull your panties back up your hips. You reached for him and he pulled you up to his chest. “Gotta clean up a lil bit, bunny..” he fixed your dress and lifted you off the hood and into his arms. “Ain’t nothing to worry about.” You already knew your painties were ruined for good with a red stain by that point. 

You rested your forearms on his shoulders, quite liking being held in his arms. “Knew you were always to much of a fucking perv to be a good cop.” He smacked your ass again for good measure and placed you on the ground. “You aint’ too much of a slut to fuck your stepdaddy aint it?” 

He stepped aside and you watched him do up his belt again, walking towards the driver's side of the car. You looked behind you and towards the expanse of the woods. The trees rustled, and you heard, presumably, the same owl hoot from the distance. A small crackle in the foliage had you swiftly walking to the passenger side and yanking open the door. You hopped inside and slammed it behind you. 

Javier was reaching in the glove box to stash away his gun. “Please” You swallowed, looking towards him. “Please just don’t tell her. She's going to have a freak out.”

Javi glanced at you momentarily, then murmured a dismissive “yeah yeah” as he started up the engine. That wasn't good enough for you. “Please, she’ll give me hell, I can’t deal with it.” You shook your head, then shifted in your seat. He muttered another “yeah”, checking his pockets for the keys to your front door. God forbid they slipped out while he was fucking your brains out. 

You turned towards him in your seat, both hands on the centre console. “Please.” Javier grabbed the keys, hooked them to his belt loop and dropped his head in a sigh. He turned towards you, taking a moment to reach over and buckle you into your seat. 

“‘Ain’t gonna tell, so stop askin’ before I change my mind.” He knew he didn’t need to ask you to keep your mouth shut– perhaps the most humiliating part of this all. 

“Okay.. yeah..”  The headlights flashed as you began your journey back home, the exhaustion of the day catching up with you. You sank back, twisting in Javi’s direction, now curled up in the seat. His eyes remained on the road ahead. “Don’t do this shit again.” 

“Just wanted some adventure.” your voice grew thick, and you yawned. “Next time ya want adventure watch a fuckin’ hitchcock film or something.” He reached out a hand to cup your cheek, engulfed it and patted it gently. 

”Ain't always gonna be there to save your ass, bunny.” 

— 

PART II

In between

What I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine

Love is so confusing there's no peace of mind

If I fear I'm losing you. it's just no good

You teasing like you do

Eeek! Hope you enjoyed!! I’m very excited for this series, and I hope you are too! Please let me know what you think! Thank you to everyone who interacts with my work! Your comments and reblogs keep me writing 💗🐝

[bluemirrorangel]

Dead poets' society ship headcanons feelings realisation + confessions 

these are mainly modern headcanons.

Anderperry:

 SO MUCH PINING

Todd kind of had a thing for Neil from the start but thought it was just admiration  until the scene where Neil promises to take care of him. 

And Neil always found Todd interesting but realised his feelings when Todd improv’d his poem in class.

I feel like they would have kissed after the play if they had the chance 

Wrote each other christmas cards over the winter break with sickeningly sweet messages in them.

Crazy amounts of pda, nothing huge but they're always touching each other; holding hands, arms thrown around the others neck, leaning on each other like they don’t have their own spines.

knarlie:

Charlie’d  had a crush on Knox ever since they met but assumed it would just go away naturally… it did not

Only realised how much he liked him when Knox met Chris

Tried so hard to be a  supportive best friend, would give Knox a pep talk and then go to his dorm and scream into his pillow 

The longing went crazy

Knox didn’t figure out he liked Charlie until after his relationship with Chris ended.

The moment he realised he liked Charlie he decided to woo the ever loving shit out of him.

Confessed to him at a dead poets society meeting.

The fun couple™ 

Mitts: 

Never got together officially just kind of figured out that they liked each other simultaneously and decided to go with it

Childhood friends

Always together

None of the other poets know about their relationship because they’ve always been like that

Only figure out how much they need each other when they graduate and get into  separate colleges 

Always paired up in every subject in school

They work better together because each one makes up for the other’s weakness

Chameron: 

As much as I love the idea that Cameron and Charlie used to be close pre-canon,

I personally believe their relationship has always been strained.

Cameron idolises Neil, because Neil was the only one who really made an effort to include him so Cameron would try and hang out with him as much as possible, that’s how he ended up meeting Charlie

Cameron has always liked Charlie and Envied him for how free he is (In my opinion Cameron has one of the biggest cases of eldest daughter syndrome i’ve ever seen.)

Charlie and Cameron become roommates and despite how badly they treat each other and how mean Charlie gets Cameron still does his hardest to take care of Charlie (i.e he helps Charlie with trigonometry even after Charlie’s spent the better part of an hour mocking him.) because he can not STAND the idea of being disliked by anyone.

Gets frustrated easily by Charlie because he feels like he’s wasting his potential.

Cameron realises how much he cares about Charlie because of the saxophone scene, he was genuinely taken aback by how talented and sincere he was being about something. 

Charlie has no idea he likes Cameron

 He's always been a little fixated on Cameron and  what started as thinly veiled concern quickly became resentment at Cameron’s refusal to have fun.

While Charlie makes fun of Cameron to get a reaction out of him it’s also to prove to himself that Cameron is still a teenager and not just some uptight golden boy with an inability to think for himself, he gets a strange sense of satisfaction from making Cameron loosen up and act human for once.

The closest they’re dynamic has ever come to banter was the back and forth they had  when Charlie told the other poets that his parents made him take clarinet lessons when he was younger.

It isn’t  until Cameron snitches on them that Charlie figures  his shit out, why Cameron’s betrayal  hurt him more than anyone else and that’s why he punches him.

Charlie knows he’ll get expelled but he does it anyway because he can handle liking an uptight, overly cautious, teacher's pet but he draws the line at sharing a room with a traitor, draws the line at loving a coward.  

Cameron doesn’t pine he yearns, yearns for someone he barely knew

He spends the rest of his years at Welton alone, grieving the death of one of his best friends and mourning the end of something that never even started.

The only way these two could ever have a happy ending together is if they went to therapy and if  Welton had a reunion.

leave a ship or fandom suggestions and I’ll do headcanons for them if you want :)

[alacants]

okay c'mon you can't mention "darth carlitos" in the tags and not tell us more about it

ok i have consulted my collaborator and reconstructed most of this idea. and learned an important lesson about both hubris and note-taking.

so this is part of a broader fic idea known as "into the carlitosverse", where the night after the cincy meltdown, at the peak of sincaraz divorce era™, carlos gets a glimpse of other possible universes where it could, in fact, be worse. these come to him in order of increasing badness, with darth carlitos being the sixth and final vision.

(other universes cut for space reasons but available upon request. i wrote up all THOSE notes just fine, apparently.)

the divergence point is, what if jannik is the one to tell carlos he has. Feelings… and carlos who has internalized from his coach that you don't, you can't, do that on tour shoots him down in cold blood. (juanki premise repurposed wholesale from this fic.) which just like. totally crushes jannik. since getting the nerve to put himself out there was a huge deal that entailed facing up to personal fears about like, vulnerability and and what kind of a life he wanted to live as a tennis player and what he wanted to prioritize in the now vs the future, a very difficult existential struggle he managed to work though because he was so sure carlos would say yes. AND THEN.

(it's kerrigan/lowdermilk's say the word. just realized that.)

jannik then proceeds to completely fall apart from indian wells through wimbledon. gossip thrives on tour and now carlos has a reputation as kind of a dick! like. damn he was really leading sinner on huh. obviously the story grows in the telling lmao but it's undeniable that people like jack draper and the entire italian davis cup team have alcaraz on fucking notice. (ops had a lot of fun taking this to increasingly wild lengths like. darren's super worried about jannik, which trickles back through lleyton hewitt, and now alex de minaur is giving carlos side eye?? and katie backing up jack's story which tbh no one actually believed means the gossip spreads through the brits, too, etc, etc… you can guess where this ended up…)

as a result of jannik's mental collapse carlos' 2024 dominance is even more dominant than it was irl. and the more you win, the more people are going to look for reasons not to like you.

carlos obviously thrives around people! he wants to like them and to be liked by them! so. this sucks. and he kinda knows it's his own fault, but also… is it?? it's not FAIR. so like. fine! if no one likes him any more, fine! he's here to play tennis, not make friends. ← a blatant lie.

wimbledon: jannik goes out r1. carlos is REALLY on the shit list with matteo when they meet in the wimbledon semifinal. it's so bad that after the match matteo doesn't shake carlos' hand and like, holy SHIT. now not just the players' grapevine but also the public rumor mill goes into overdrive. are they beefing because carlos had a couple time violations that weren't called during the match? is it because of the lopsided 6-1, 6-3, 6-2 scoreline? or is it because of the rumor that's been floating around that carlos alcaraz is a player?? DID HE STEAL MATTEO'S GIRLFRIEND OMG

how quickly public opinion can curdle. the crushing guilt + generalized unhappiness + unfairness of it all means that carlitos starts going a little unhinged when things go wrong during matches. as in he starts smashing racquets. with increasing frequency. there's also a lot of yelling at his box. there's juanki looking increasingly more haggard as the season goes on. possibly ferru is called in to help at this point but carlitos doesn't listen to him. team morale is shit at the olympics and davis cup. carlos loses the olympic final to novak and nearly fires juanki (there but for the grace of ferru, etc). then, after jannik heroically pulls himself together and scrapes out like, 3000+ points from just the na/asian hard court swing to make the atp finals and thrashes everyone in his group to make the semifinal - he plays carlos. and then jannik wins that match. carlos feels something almost like relief, almost like desperation. he goes to the net, goes in for a hug... and jannik pulls back and very politely shakes his hand. and carlos does his cool down, media rounds, goes back to the hotel and fires juanki on the spot.

……………………and then he wakes up!

tbh i don't know how an actual fic would end, other than the affirmation that yeah things really COULD be worse… it was originally set after cincy because at the time of this convo that felt like the nadir of divorce era (olympic hangover, court meltdown, wada reveal, etc) but this setting is flexible and can be adjusted to accommodate whichever disappointment is freshest.

WAIT ok. i have it. post-ao qf, rumors are swirling about coach break-up. carlitos is visited by visions of the multiverse. he wakes up with this horrible sinking feeling that this is a sign maybe he DOES have to think about a new coach, bc the most important thing about his relationship with juanki has always been the off-court stuff but what if he ultimately has to choose between his coach and his personal happiness. he reluctantly pulls juanki aside for a talk and is like "so… about… my feelings… about jannik…." 

and juanki is like "uGH icb you're making me say this, i don't like it but [grits teeth]. since it's important to you then i. support. you."

and carlos bounds away more convinced than ever that some things are more important than court tactics and probably hits jannik up in dms. the end.

[alkeneater]

virtual insanity (E!2080 drabble) 😵

ughhhh wellll just saying ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE and i'm not a good writer so i wrote this because this idea was scratchin my head from inside and i wanted to get rid of it 💙

also this fic is not that angsty as i thought it's going to be, it's KINDA FUNNY TO ME I was laughing my ass off when i translated this shit

okay enjoy if you wanna <3 and yeah Jamiroquai reference 😁

“Are you a loser? A loser that doesn’t have any friends? Your life seems boring and full of disappointments? Not anymore if you purchase a VR-headset by Parallel! The organic design and convenient shape will allow you to spend hours in virtual worlds, and the augmented reality mode will embellish your miserable life!“

“That commercial again…” Joan heard familiar sounds as she walked past the room where Confucius was slowly scrolling through FlipFlop™ on his Holoband™. “Can’t you just block it? Adblock was invented a long time ago. You're into this stuff, aren't you?”

“Joan, you don’t get it!” Confucius jumped up from the sofa and approached the girl. “Thanks to commercials I can easily decide where to spend my money!”

“I wish I had your problems. But your purchases often turn out to be useless.”

“What makes you think that?”

“That laser can opener has been in the closet for a month and no one uses it. We don't even eat canned food!”

“Hey, I saw Gandhi using it!”

“He used this thing to shoot at the drones.”

Confucius thought about it and stared at the floor. Joan was about to go on with her business, but suddenly the guy exclaimed:

“But my next purchase will definitely appeal to everyone! You'll see!”

He did finger guns, expecting support from the girl, but she sighed heavily and went away. 

A couple of days later, a drone with a small box arrives at the door of the house. Confucius quickly runs to take the package.

“Everyone over here! This day has come!!!”

“You bought chips?” Gandhi, smiling broadly, ran to his friend's call. 

“Hollywood's calling me?!” Harriet exclaimed from the kitchen. 

“The shadow government's been destroyed?!” Abe looked out from the second floor.

“You stopped ordering shit from AnyExpress?” Joan crossed her arms and went to the front door.

“Better, better, better! I bought us a VR-headset!” Confucius clutched the box to his chest as if it was his own son, “This thing is going to change our lives!” 

The clones looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. Only Gandhi remained in a good mood, who always liked Confucius's purchases. 

When Confucius quickly adjusted the headset (which did not require much skill and knowledge, the design turned out to be quite simple even for an ordinary user), he started testing it. The others watched the process with interest, except for Joan, who was skeptical about technology, and Topher, who preferred to be away from the whole team. Confucius looked very funny: wearing a glowing blue headset, gloves and anklets, he moved awkwardly around the room and talked to himself. But from his perspective, it looked like an exciting game. After removing this thing from his head, he turned to the clones and exclaimed:

“This is fire! You should all try it!!”

“Can I be next?? Please?!” Gandhi ran up to the device, wanting to try it out as soon as possible. 

Abe and JFK were sitting next to each other on the couch.

“It looks fun, but I'm not sure I'll use it often,” Abe mumbled as he watched Gandhi running around the room with his new toy. 

“You're just a bore, this thing, err-ehh, it looks great. I would love to play some VR games right now!“ Kennedy was already interested and was waiting for his turn.

“That’s right, you can play any game on this baby!” Confucius squeezed in between them, “I'm sure you'll all find a use for it.”

“What use can I find for this thing? I don't really like videogames.”

“That's because, ehhh, he sucks at videogames,” JFK jokingly whispered to Confucius. 

“Well, let's just say this headset is capable of simulating anything, just write a couple of commands. Even the gen Epsilon can do this,” Confucius rolled his eyes and grinned. 

“Actually, we are the gen Epsilon,” Harriet was standing next to him, leaning on the coffee table, “Are you saying it can simulate anything?”

“Anything!”

“Even... hmm... the interior of the palace from the fifth episode of the eighth seas-”

“YEAH!” Confucius did not even listen to the end, being sure that his purchase was capable of anything and even more. 

“I don't know…” Abe looked at the window, “I like our reality too. I have real friends here, a real life. They are much better than this artificial one. Yeah, Gandhi?” he turned towards his friend.

“GUYS, I'M IN OUTER SPACE RIGHT NOW! HOLY SHIT, I'M A DRAGON, RAHH! DON'T DISCONNECT ME, IT'S THE BEST THING EVER!!!”

Abe frowned. Apparently, he is really a bore, since he does not understand the delights of this device. 

***

For the next few days, everything in the shelter-house was the same as always: the clones went outside to look for their friends, sometimes fought with the shadow police and quite often spent time at home in each other's company, enjoying free will. After 16 years of prison-like regime, every hour of free time felt like a two-month vacation in Hawaii. 

One day, after another grueling battle, the “Old School” returned home very battered and tired, and barely dragging their feet, most of them immediately went to bed. However, Abe was the only one who felt uneasy. Even anxious. He really needed someone to talk to and vent his emotions after a brutal fight. But Joan and Cleo were not in the mood for heart-to-heart conversations, Gandhi was sleeping like a log, and JFK was lying next to him. 

“John, are you asleep?” Abe looked into the bedroom on the second floor, which for some reason had a lot of beds. Perhaps the previous owners of the house had many children. 

“Ehh... yes.”

“I just wanted to…”

“Bro, I’ll, err-uhh, die if I don’t sleep!”

“...talk.”

“Later, okay?!” Kennedy growled, and Abe closed the door softly with a guilty expression on his face.

It’s not the first time he’s been left alone with his thoughts.

He trudged into the room, where Confucius was currently playing with his headset. Lincoln plopped down on his favorite blue couch and looked sadly at the window, not noticing his friend. He could still hear his conversations with one ear.

“...You have the wisdom of generations, bro. You're absolutely right, I will do that! See you later!” a smile appeared on Confucius' face and he took off the headset. 

“Who were you talking to?”

“Me? My clonefather, of course!”

Lincoln raised an eyebrow and turned to his friend in disbelief:

“How's that?”

“Dude, did you forget? This thing can do absolutely anything! I was just chatting with my clonefather in virtual reality. However, these technologies are not really new, teenagers were doing something like that 60 years ago.”

“Can I, well... do it too?” Abe’s eyes lit up. 

“Of course! Jump in, I'll introduce you quickly,” he beckoned him closer. 

Abe couldn't help but smile. Can he finally see the one who inspired him all his life? Talk to him, feel his presence? It all sounded like something unreal. 

However, it was unreal.

Abe felt the soft ear pads, the gloves clinging to his palms, and heard the anklets snap on his legs. Everything turned blue in his eyes, only the silhouette of Confucius was visible, he was waving his hands and explaining something. At first, Lincoln felt anxious, but after a short briefing, he got used to the device and finally entered commands so that the image he had wanted to see for so long appeared in front of him. Confucius nodded and left the clone alone with his virtual ancestor.

“Is-Is that you? Mr. President?” 

Abe could see a large empty space in front of his eyes, with a tall figure wearing a top hat. A familiar silhouette came closer: 

“Just call me Lincoln. It's good to see you, son.”

The guy was confused, not knowing what to do next. It wasn't every day that he got to talk to someone whose DNA he inherited. And the man with the thick beard continued to squint his eyes and smile good-naturedly. 

“I, I, I just wanted to talk to you. Can I? I promise I'll be brief.” 

Abraham nodded. The clone looked around and realized that he had forgotten to generate the location, decided not to bother and chose something from the “recommended” section built into the device. The space blinked and after a moment both found themselves in a wooden cabin in the middle of the forest, with some furniture inside and a fireplace burning. 

“Reminds me of the days of my youth... I used to live in a cabin like this,” the man sighed and sat down on a bench near the window.

Abe sat down next to him, still not believing what was happening to him. He has long been used to the weight of the headset on his head, he has stopped feeling the gloves, he has completely immersed himself in this charming virtual world.

“I, I, I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I?” the clone came to his senses.

“I know your name, Abe. You are…”

“I'm your clone. A copy. Genetic or something.” 

“Interesting.”

The guy sighed and still decided to interrupt this awkward conversation to finally get to the point.

“There's so much I'd like to discuss with you, but I don't know where to start.… I'm always so anxious and scared, and I don't even know who to talk to about it. I would like to become a great leader like you. You probably weren't afraid of anything and knew how to do everything. And I'm just... a nobody.”

“Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you'll have a great future.”

Abe looked down at the wooden floor: 

“If that future ever comes at all” 

***

It's been a long time since Lincoln put on the headset. “Old school” had already had time to rest, Harriet and the other girls had watched all sorts of TV shows, and the guys had discussed every topic in the world. Gandhi was eagerly waiting for his turn to play with the headset. Kennedy, who was already beginning to worry about his buddy immersed in virtual reality, was waiting as well. He decided to visit Abe again and went into his room without knocking.

“Are you done? We're already tired of, err-ehh, waiting for you! How long has it been? One hour? Two?”

Abe continued to sit on the floor and mumble something under his breath, clearly talking to someone who was not in this room. JFK was so irritated, his hands involuntarily clenched into fists. 

“I'm, ehh, talking to you!” he raised his voice, causing his friend to flinch. 

“Uh, John? I'm sorry, I just-just a couple more minutes, I need to talk to Abraham Lincoln…” 

“You said the same thing about 30 minutes ago!” 

“The conversation got a little long, that's okay!” 

“You're out of your mind…”

Kennedy sighed so heavily he could be heard on the first floor. He sat down next to Abe on the floor and waited, unwittingly eavesdropping on what the clone was saying.

“Huh, yeah, that sounds so much like me. I worry a lot too...”

“Sometimes I feel lonely…”

“I'll never be like you, I'm just a loser. That's what I've always been told...”

After a couple minutes, John began to realize what Abe was talking to his virtual interlocutor about. He's just sharing his feelings, pouring his heart out. He just needed a little attention. 

“Yeah? Sometimes I feel like no one can really hear me...” 

John placed his palm on Abe's palm, squeezing it a little. He tried to feign indifference, but he barely succeeded in hiding the emotion with which he listened to his friend's voice. The tall guy, on the other hand, barely reacted and continued to talk loudly to the void. What Kennedy wanted more than anything right now was what Abe and his virtual clonefather had. Mutual support. 

“I am so lucky to be able to talk to you right now, I am so honored!”

After sitting like that for a few more minutes, he gently releases his hand and gets back on his feet. 

“Okay, I'm, ehh, gonna go.” 

There was no response. 

Kennedy returned to his friends on the first floor.

“Is he done yet?” Gandhi crossed his arms and frowned. 

“I don't like it,” Joan added, “it's too bad for him.” 

Confucius waved his hand:

“It's perfectly safe! I know you don't like all this innovation, but that's no reason to-”

“You know, let's just leave him alone. Why don't we go to the, ehh, pizzeria? Confucius, it's on you!” JFK feigned indifference, wanting to change the subject as soon as possible.

“Oh yes, let's go!” the others replied almost in unison.

The door slammed, and the house was empty. Only a voice from a room on the second floor broke the silence.

***

It took a few more hours before everyone returned home after a delicious dinner at the pizzeria. John was so engrossed in conversations with his friends and the delicious food that he almost forgot about what was waiting for him at home. 

He was the first one inside, turned on the light and hurried into Abe's room. What he saw made him fearful for a split second: Lincoln was lying on the floor, pale, but still barely audibly talking.

“Yeah... I don't know…”

“Abe?! What the hell?!” Kennedy instantly dropped down beside his friend and lifted his head, “Do you even take breaks from this shit?!” 

“Maybe… Huh…” 

JFK really didn't want to do that, but he slapped Abe’s face. One earpiece shifted and now Abe could clearly hear what was happening in his reality. 

“Ouch. That hurts,” Lincoln rubbed his cheek with the palm and tried to fix his earpiece, “Technical problems, I'll be right back…”

“No, you won’t! Take it off already! Ehhh, come on!” he started pulling the headset off.

“No, WAIT!” Abe began grasping at the device as if his life depended on it, “Please, don’t, I'm not finished! I’m fine, I swear!”

“FINE?!” he pulled it harder in his direction, “I found you on the floor, pale, mumbling something to yourself. You look like a zombie!” 

Abe was already losing his grip, so he put his hands down and let it happen. 

“Goodbye, clonefather. Sorry that…”

The headset finally slips off the clone's soaked head and falls to the floor. John saw Abe’s red eyes, his forehead wet with sweat, his hair messy, his skin paler than usual, dark circles under his eyes. It's a terrible sight.

“…I didn't finish,” Abe said softly.

“Holy shit, you're really, ehh, nuts.”

Lincoln tried to avoid eye contact while JFK stared shocked at his friend. 

“You're crazy, Abe, you're really crazy.” 

“What? Me?” 

“Do you know how long you've been sitting here?!” 

“A c-couple hours?... We just got back from a m-mission?” 

“That was LAST NIGHT!” 

“Last… what?”

Tears welled up in Abe's eyes. Either from the fact that his eyes hurt or from the realization. Or maybe he missed his toy. 

“You know you can always talk to me, right?” Kennedy started shaking him by the shoulders to keep him from passing out right in his arms. 

“But you all were so tired, I didn't want to disturb you…”

“Look, if talking to me saves you from that, uhhh, wire shit, then sleep can wait.” 

“John, it wasn't just wire shit, my clonefather was there... The real one…” 

“He's not real, you stupid! YOU are real and WE are real.” 

Abe lay down on the carpet, JFK sat down next to him and began gently removing his gloves and other stuff. 

“You're such a bore…” Abe smirked tiredly.

Kennedy furrowed his eyebrows, but really couldn't even be mad at him. 

“And you're an idiot.”

Both of them were so nervous they laughed, which made John fall to the floor next to Abe. 

“And you said you wouldn't even use that thing! You're Not So Honest Abe! Haha!”

“Haha, indeed!” 

“Guys,” a familiar voice sounded nearby, “Are you both crazy?” 

Joan, Confucius and Gandhi had been standing in the doorway for the last five minutes and had seen the culmination of everything that had happened. The guys looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. 

“Looks like it! Pure virtual insanity,” Abe chuckled.

“Oh, it's just like that old song!” Confucius said.

John got on his feet and reached out to Abe:

“Come on, ehh, let's talk.”

Abe caught his arm and stood up.

“Maybe next time? I'm really sleepy…” he looked at him guiltily. 

JFK nodded.

“Okay, just don't give me that look. You know I wouldn't trade you for, err-ehh, virtual reality, bro.” 

“I believe you.”

[beevean]

I can't be the only person who finds it so funny that Sheep-Tits McGee is being forcibly shown how hard she fumbled the ball when she was still trying to insert herself into a leadership role she did nothing to earn, and even funnier still was that in the Eggperial City arc, it was shown time after time that things resolve themselves when people don't follow her orders.

"No, I never get sick of this panel. Why do you ask?"

The ideal conclusion would be that this know-nothing know-it-all finally realizes that she's been a shitty leader (and an even shittier friend), and simply either A) step down or B) quit the Restoration altogether because she's clearly not cut out for this.

Additionally, she'd have to actually apologize to just about everybody she's wronged - Silver included - only for him to refuse her pleads offer to rejoin the Diamond Cutters, and never truly forgiving her for the decimation of Restoration HQ on her watch... all the while, the Babylon Rogues rub this "little incident" in her face at every opportunity.

I know people - including me - would want Silver to have the last laugh at her, but let's be honest, Jet would absolutely NOT pass up the chance to be "that guy." Dude finally gets the chance to get his rematch with Sonic in lord-knows-how-long, and he gets robbed of it because of Sheep-Tits McGee over here just can't stop being the fun police? You fucking better believe he'd rub it in.

But, this is the IDWverse where we can never have nice things, so it's plainly obvious that the story is going to end with Sheep-Tits McGee giving the most rehearsed and disingenuous YouTuber Apology™ ever, and every single fuck-up she's made up to that point will simply be swept under the rug like it's a bad movie on Lifetime TV.

Like, I have a very hard time believing that this exchange will ever get addressed later on.

Apologies for the tangent, I'm just genuinely baffled that poor writing like this has its ardent fans on such high alert that discussion often gets one-sided so quickly.

That panel of Lanolin realizing that he has been a piece of shit for nothing and Whisper was right and she beat her up for no good reason cheers me up in the morning <3 even if nothing will come out of it. at least it is slightly cathartic to see. Yes, you should feel bad about yourself, asshole.

The most we know about #76 is this:

Sonic and his friends are forced to deal with the aftermath of Clutch's grand scheme! While some set out to seek justice, some stay behind to pick up the pieces. What unlikely pairs will join forces? Which bonds will be broken? Who can be trusted?

And you can see a dejected Lanolin in the alt cover:

But I'm not holding my breath. We have seen time and time again the asinine ways plotlines got "resolved" or dismissed in this comic. We have seen how the "drama" of Tangle stealing the name of Whisper's dead comrades has been dealt. Lanolin is going to feel bad for trusting Duo (not for being physically violent or for being angrier at Sonic going behind her back than at Clutch for attempting to kill everyone) and eventually Tangle will be all "it's okay bestie you meant well 🥺". I'd be surprised if Silver will ever see Lanolin again (he kind of vanished in the Riders arc lol), let alone Jet who's only used as comic relief anyway.

In a good story, Lanolin will accept that she's not cut out to be a leader, that her objectives (in theory) are noble but she simply cannot handle responsibility or have good judgment, and has caused nothing but harm. But if she leaves, then we won't have a cool team anymore :)

[tblsomedoodles]

Have a Mikey Info dump too!

Look at my Cringe Son! I love him and all his stupid shirts! : )

ANYWAYS! Info dump!

Mikey, of course, was found by the foot. (I think just a standard foot ninja that brought him to the shredder like "i found this weird turtle dog thing? it looked useful, maybe so i brought it back with us.") Shredder doesn't think much about about it, not realizing Mikey's a child/sentient, and just sends him to get trained with the attack dogs or whatever weird creatures he wants to keep on a leash.

A 12 yo Karai, however, gets attached and very quickly learns he can speak. He tries to tell her his name, but he's a tiny tot who mispronounces things still, and upon him trying to say "Mikey", Karai hears "Michi". Thus starts calling him Michi, which is close enough for him to respond to.

Karai convinces the Shredder to let her take care of Michi, which he agrees to b/c sure let the child have a pet to train. A month or so later, he catches her training Michi in ninjutsu, and to his surprise, Michi is doing well? At which point he decides, that Michi is still Karai's responsibility, but that he would train him in ninjutsu like he does Karai.

So Michi learns directly from the Shredder alongside Karai. He still has a prankster streak but Karai keeps him out of trouble for the most part. (she doesn't really keep him from doing the thing all the time, she usually is able to blame it on someone else tho. She's protective of him b/c that's her little brother that she's basically raising.)

They were in Japan for most of that time, but when the Shredder moved to New York, he left Karai in charge of the Japan branch and took Michi (age 12) with him.

Michi loves exploring NYC and does so any chance he knows he can get away with it. This is how he meets Splinter again.

He likes Splinter, automatically trusts him and it helps the rat has some really cool stories to tell.

He spends a year meeting up with Splinter, listening to his stories, relearning about his family and what not. (splinter keeps asking him to leave the shredder but it takes a while for Michi to understand why.)

In the end, there's a big incident that all but makes Michi leave. He questioned one of the shredder's decisions or something like that (having gotten far too used to asking questions with Splinter) and without Karai to essentially shield him from the results, he gets into Trouble™. he was going to be punished for it, but Michi escapes before he can find out exactly what (not without injury though. Shredder himself causes the scars on his shell and chin as he leaves.)

He goes to Splinter, scared and confused, and Splinter patches him up. He goes to meet Leo while he's healing, and Splinter tries to convince Michi to stay with them there, but Michi would rather stay with Splinter.

After leaving the Shredder, Michi slowly adjusts to life outside the foot. He starts wearing weird clothes b/c it's fun, discovers comics and video games, just essentially discovering what it's like to be a teenager. by the time he meets Donny again, (age 15) he is very much a cringy teen (positive) and is enjoying it. He can still kick ass tho, and is stelthy as shit, even in bright orange, but yeah. he's also readopted the nickname Mikey by then. He responds to either, really, but his family mostly just uses Mikey while Karai uses Michi.

edit: Links for Donny, Raphael, and Leo's info dumps

edit x2: Mikey's pronouns are officially 'Any.' : )

[kingdomof-omens]

Bad Omens HCs

With everyone posting their headcanons, I'm going to join in and tell you all my hcs of Bad Omens. Buckle up buttercup, we're talking boyfriend material and NSFW.

Tags: @signs-of-ill-portent @the-way-of-words @soakme-inbleach @ladyveronikawrites @cncohshit (if you want to be added to the tags, leave a comment or send a DM)

Divider by @/cafekitsune

Folio

My hc is that this man is the teddy bear boyfriend. He's the boyfriend that doesn't have to do anything in particular with you, just as long as you're there spending quality time together. He's a man that likes fishing. Fishing is a lot of waiting, a lot of sitting, and just chillin with a cold one popped open in his hand. So even if you two are sitting next to each other in silence, that's enough for him. He'll reach out to grab your feet to place them in his lap and rub them while you're reading so you have the ultimate relaxation. When he's working on his bike, he'll come to you with puppy dog eyes and ask for help, but all he really wants is for you to sit outside with him while he's changing the spark plugs or replacing a sensor. He's also a jokester, so fully expect to be called "dumbass" at least once a day, but he knows you'll call him a "fuckin bitch" right back. (lovingly, of course) And when you two fall asleep at night, he's going to smother you with cuddles and squeeze you to death so you don't have the chance to leave.

Sexually? This man is open to trying anything, as long as you want to. He's got a steady rhythm as he's disappearing inside of you and he's not going to stop until you come undone around him. His hands stay busy due to hitting drums nightly, so he prefers his girl on top so he can take those calloused palms and run them all over her body, touching, massaging, and maybe a slap or two. He's vocal. He's going to tell you that he loves how tight your pussy is as you roll your hips chasing your own high. He's going to ask you who owns that pussy, and you love telling him that he does. He loves blowjobs, watching you on your knees as your lips are wrapped around his cock working him over. Better relax that throat, cause he's going to end up thrusting himself into your mouth as much as he can. When you two are spent, he's going to take every last bit of energy he has to make sure you're all cleaned up and comfortable before bringing you your favorite pajamas and a glass of water.

Jolly

Jolly's the protector, you're his girl and everyone knows not to fuck with Jolly's Lady™. He's more of a chill boyfriend, wanting to stay home with you and watch movies while everyone else is hitting up the bar. He wants to take you out on dates at the fancy restaurants because that's what you deserve. He'll be out on tour and you'll come home from a long day of work to a bouquet of roses on your counter with a note that says "Miss you sweet girl". And when you FaceTime him to thank him, he's going to be grinning ear to ear because it made your day. He gives all of his trust in a relationship, so he doesn't care who you hang out with or where you go, as long as he knows you're safe and having fun. If anyone were to ever cross you, they'd immediately be placed on his shit list for life. And they better be lucky you talked him down from confronting them for having the audacity to upset his Lady because he would 100% "take care" of someone who hurt you.

In the bedroom, he's a dominant. He's the oldest man in the group and this man has experience. He knows how to bring you to your climax quickly and easily because he knows your body so well, but I think he likes to take him time with you. He likes to roughen things up a bit and loves to make you beg for him to enter you after teasing you all night at said fancy restaurant. If this man puts his hair up in a bun at the beginning of sexy time, you know you're in it for the whole night. He loves rope play, making you sit on your knees waiting patiently as he tightens the knots around your limbs. He'll never do something you're not 100% sure about, and as a matter of fact, he won't do it at all until you're begging for it. Sex, to him, is all for his Lady. He can beat his meat in the bathroom, he doesn't care, but you? You deserve to see stars as much as you and your body can handle. Afterwards, he's going to run you a warm bath with your favorite bath bomb and sit next to you as he takes the washcloth and cleans you up, because a Lady deserves to be taken care of properly.

Noah

He's the learning boyfriend. He wants to do his best giving you his undivided attention, he promises, but he just had a revelation about a song he's working on and he has to jot it down before it disappears. He's a perfectionist, not only in his music, but in making sure when you two schedule plans, it goes accordingly. Even if that means rushing you through your makeup before going out to your anniversary dinner because the reservation is for 6:00, not 6:02. He needs a girl that's patient and understanding, because he's going to hole himself in his studio for days at a time making sure a song is just the way he imagined it. He's going to be exhausted, but when he walks into the bedroom with heavy bags under his eyes, you're going to open your arms and welcome him into your bosom so he can get some much needed rest.

But he's not an dom like a lot of fics portray him as. He has to be in control in a lot of aspects of his life, being a perfectionist and all. So the bedroom is the one place he likes to lose control and give it to you. He wants you to tell him what to do, not in a dominating way, but the sex is all for you and your pleasure- so whatever you want, he'll make sure it's what you get. Speaking of your pleasure, this man is a pussy eater to his core. We've seen/heard about how much this man loves eating pussy and he'll bury himself in your folds like it's his last meal. Sometimes after a stressful day, he'll come to you and rub your knee asking if you could just spread your legs open a little bit so he can have a small taste. He'll lose himself in your slick to the point this man is panting when he pauses for air because he wants to dive right back in. He's not going to stop until he's satiated, and that takes a while. So if this man goes down on you, you better clear your schedule for the next few hours. We've also seen that he had a mirror on his closet door, and boy does he love watching you in the mirror bouncing on him.

Nicholas

He's the tender hearted boyfriend. When he loves you, it's unconditional, it's everlasting, and he puts his all into it. He got home from tour early one day and decided to decorate the house as a surprise for when you get off of work. He loves helping you in the kitchen, baking alongside you so he can find out what makes your choco chip cookies so amazing. He's a tattoo artist, so he catches every little detail of everything. He'll be sitting on the couch sketching something and noticed how your nose scrunches just right as you're trying to solve a 1000 piece puzzle, and next thing he knows he has your portrait on the page. Your home is filled with his artwork. You are so proud of his creations, him just slightly shy that all of your guests will see, but he sees your face light up with every piece and he would draw across the world just to see you smile.

Everyone knows him as the shy, tender hearted boyfriend, but in the bedroom it's the total opposite. This is a side only you will see. I believe this man is the true alpha out of all of the men. There will be some times where you two make love, slow and steady and gazing into each other's eyes as you both come undone. But, he loves temperature play, making you gasp between hot wax and melting ice cubes. He's going to edge you and string you along all night until tears are filling your eyes as you beg for release. He's the one that'll work you up all day, but make you watch him as he pumps his cock to climax and you get nothing because you couldn't stop teasing him at dinner with the guys. He loves calling you his good girl, and good girls wait to do anything until their man says so. But when he's finished making you regret your choices, he's going to cave in and make sure you cum at least once, because he hates seeing his girl so needy, wanting, and neglected. He'll give you proper aftercare, making sure you're clean and comfortable after a session, and he's going to ask you a million times if he went too far, if it was too much, and if there's anything he can do better for your pleasure.

[otgo-brooklyn]

Big Brother Slider, the true Mom Friend™

So we all have that friend, who is 100% the mom friend. And listen, are both Slider and Ice little shits of their own devices? Yes, but i'd say that Ice can be a solid Mom friend, when needed. BUT, when with Slider it just goes out of the window, and pair that with Big Brother!Slider, and you have one hell of a head cannon there.

Every time that they go to the bar, Slider doesn't even leave Ice's side, guards his drink like a feral dog, and rounds Ice up when it's time to go home

Stops Ice from having fun recklessly endangering himself

Once at the bar Ice was on his 5th Whiskey sour before a table sent over 3 shots of tequila, Ice smiled and brought one up to toast, and using his mom senses common sense, Slider abandons his chat with Goose and is at Ice's side in about 3.5 seconds saying "no no no no" takes the shots and whiskey sours out of his hand and drags Ice home

Nearly had an aneurism when he found out Ice let someone else (Goose) drive him somewhere

"YOU LET SOMEONE DRIVE YOU? WHAT IF THEY WERE TRYING TO KIDNAP YOU? KIDNAP THEN KILL YOU!? YOU KNOW PEOPLE HAVE A THING FOR YOUNG BLONDES" "WE WERE BOTH GOING BACK TO BASE, AND IM 24" "SO?? YOU'RE PRACTICALLY A BABY" "IT WAS GOOSE! AND YOU'RE ONLY A COUPLE YEARS OLDER THAN ME" "AND?? HE HAS A MUSTACHE! YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'D TRUST SOMEONE WITH A MUSTACHE??" "YOU WERE IN THE CAR WITH ME!" "SO??"

Slider always, ALWAYS has snacks and Capri-Suns on his person incase Ice gets hungry

It's like clockwork, every time Ice starts to get hungry, hangry, cranky etc. Slider is there handing over a Capri-Sun and some carrot sticks or apple slices

"Well maybe if you didn-" Ice starts before being interrupted by Slider shoving an apple slice into his mouth mid sentence, and stopping what seems to be the next arguing match between him and Maverick in it's tracks. Ice just glowers at Slider with a pout and starts chewing on his apple slice. "I told you not to skip breakfast, now you're gonna be cranky" "Bite m-" and once more Ice is silenced with an apple slice, as Goose and Mav along with the rest of the flyboys watch on in fascinated horror as Ice's temper is swiftly and expertly derailed by Slider and his apple slices. When they're finished Slider promptly procured a Capri-Sun from somewhere and quickly shoved it within Ice's hands before he had a chance to protest. "No" Ice said looking at Slider "Drink it" "No" "Ice" "I don't want to, so im not" "Toma Mikhailovich so help me god" Slider starts, pinching the bridge of his nose, and Ice just huffs and starts to drink. The flyboys never recovered from this.

Once when filing paperwork Ice got a paper cut, as people do, and the cut is small but the tiniest, tiniest, itty bitty drop of blood wells forward and Slider already has a portable First Aid kit spread out on the desk, Neosporin on a bandaid before being wrapped around Ice's finger and Ice doesn't even blink

It's a whole 10 second ordeal and they just continue on with their lives like nothing happened

Ice coughed once after accidentally being caught out in the rain and Slider straight up commandeers the kitchen to make more soup than Ice could ever possibly consume fully convinced Ice is coming down with something

Admittedly, Ice did in fact get the flu, but Slider was too concerned to say "I told you so"

Despite everything, Slider and Ice (platonically) love each other, and Slider is 100% the mom friend between the two of them

If I forgot anything feel free to tell me!

[worldsokayestmagicalgirl]

The first batch of pictures for Amoré's character journal are here! Also I have been so super sick that I've literally had nothing to do but to work on this for like almost 2 weeks so...

The cover to cover tour officially starts here. All I can say about the front & back is that I lament my lack of experience with my Cricut when I made these decals. I only had 2 "fun" colors to work with at the time & I was still getting comfortable drawing in Procreate, so my silhouette art leaves a lot to be desired compared to some stuff I've made recently. I also found it's incredibly easy to burn this leather book.

But she's volume one, everything with her is a learning experience, & I realized as much as it helps to have a mini heat press for tight corners & small spaces, the cloth barrier they suggest you use between the vinyl & the iron tends to make things harder to press on this scale. So instead I gotta quickly tap straight on the transfer film & hope I don't burn anything around it :(´◦ω◦｀):ﾟﾟ

So at the risk of thoroughly exposing my inner theater kid, Amoré set the precedent with how I went forward creating campaign characters. I started off collecting 5 songs to make a mini story arc (almost like a show choir set list 🙃) that helps me figure out an outline for the kind of story I wanna give them.

Somehow Amoré ended up with a truly horrendous blend of rock & theatre. Absolutely incredibe. No wonder she's always such a dramatic bitch.

It was a lot easier to go in & add little decals around these lyrics. I'm definitely cursed with the Too Much™ gene, but I enjoy the little pops of color they give ✨ plus it justifies me hoarding all these vinyl scraps printing stuff this small lol.

Stat sheet!

In all honesty, as my first character I had no fucking clue what I was doing when I placed these & if I could go back & change one thing I'd probably swap her Intelligence & her Wisdom. She’s definitely more people smart than book smart.

But everything else is...very accurate. She has all the upper body strength of a chicken nugget. Plus on top of the (already) negative I traded disadvantage on everything DEX for magic crystal shoes that can be periodically harvested. Just a way for her to carry around the family fortune without actually having to return to the vault✨

For something that started so average, her CON became a monster & always comes in clutch for her alcohol tolerance. I've played variations of her across a few different one shots & I always manage to roll well for anything alcohol related. The dice do respect a bit 🤣

Spells on the other hand, I floundered with a lot at first because we’re not a combat heavy game, but then I found Chaos Bolt & that was that. It’s essentially Amoré in spell form & I’ve had a ton of fun with it over the years. Also Mage Armor cuz my girl is SO DISTRESSINGLY SQUISHY.

Cantrips were more or less a bit of a toss up. Message was fun for the sheer idea of her using it to talk shit during social events without being caught. But aside from Light serving fun backstory purposes the other 3 are kinda just what looked fun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ unless you count the idea that she would absolutely delight in zapping handshakes.

From there, I wanted to extend the world map made by our wonderful DM @cappierong into a full scroll. Ya know, for the aesthetic ✨

Our campaign started in Civania, where Amoré's main Estate is. I just wanted a quick mock up to reference, so I edited a preexisting picture I found that checked all the boxes (large, on a plateau, accessible only by bridge) and then absolutely smothered it in flowers.

But anyways... This is primarily where Diana & Amoré grew up together in their decade of backstory ✨

There was probably waaaay to much back & forth trying to keep the continuity between stuff I've already drawn & this big reference. But I think it turned out pretty ok? Not like if I make a mistake anyone will really know lol.

Scaling was also another big issue I had, & I moments where I thought something was too big I just kinda handwaved it away like "ehhhhh she's from a stupid rich family." But now I have a NEED to draw baby Diana & Amoré around like, the statue gardens or something cuz I feel like certain parts of this place are definitely ominous 👀 especially for children...

And lastly we have the back cover & the High Noble political relationship map! I normally have this closer to the front but for layout purposes it'll be here. I kinda feel like I need to do more for the decoration of it but I can’t think of anything else to add at the moment.

Sam if u read that no you didn't.

But now! Other than a family portrait that I've always wanted to draw, I think I'm ready to move onto the art for Season 1 : Arc 2. It's a pretty hefty amount of art in comparison to others, so I gotta get busy. Especially since I think I'm gonna have to draw a few comics *sobs*

If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! I'm always excited to talk out our little idiots so thanks for indulging me ❀(*´▽`*)❀

[hungry-skeleton]

Now that I've had time to process the game properly I've got some Thoughts™ about Into The Hive.. Spoilers under cut for the 2 people on tumblr that play Chicken Police

First things first, I cannot say with a sound mind that this was a bad game because it wasn't. Into The Hive was a fucking blast up until the final act. The gameplay itself was very fun and the visuals were a huge upgrade from Paint It Red. To get it out of the way, yes I understand that it had a rough development due to covid and publisher changes so I can't be too mad about some jank details. However, some of the writing choices were just. Baffling honestly.

For the Hive itself, I was so hyped to finally see it from all the buildup it had in the first game. Unfortunately I don't think this game really delivered? It wasn't an outright disappointment it was just... Eh? The original game made it seem like a lawless wasteland with corpses and cannibals everywhere but all it really turned out to be was a dirtier city with even more depressed people. I was expecting to walk into a purge movie honestly, but maybe that's my fault. For the Hive being the name of the game we barely did any exploring, I feel like we only scratched the surface of the place and didn't even get to see the worst of it.

The exploration of this game in general just felt less in depth than the first. There's no real optional characters to speak to unlike the first game (which makes the Talkative Breed achievement kinda pointless) and it overall felt more cramped and railroaded. There wasn't any limited time events for special dialogue like in the first game unless you count like.. The Bloodboyle birthday thing that's super easy to miss.

While the characters were fantastic as always the only real problem with them was the seemingly shoehorned "romance" between Sonny and Monica. I know haha I'm the "sonny and marty are super gay" guy but speaking entirely about canon, this just doesn't work. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Monica. She and Sonny's one on one interactions in the later half of the game were great, but there's literally nothing about their relationship that is romantic to me. They're good friends, they have been since the first game, and literally nothing about the way they interacted changed. Yet every character was acting as if there was suddenly sparks flying and unmistakable chemistry. They acted the same towards each other as they always have?? I get that the games theme is moving on but I don't think a new relationship is necessary for Sonny to do that, especially not in the way that it was handled.

The final act is where the issues really become prevalent. This games biggest problem is how obviously rushed the conclusion is. Everything was smooth sailing and really enjoyable until the climax. We didn't get to understand the villains and their motivations the way we did Wessler in Paint It Red. In fact we barely got any time with them. Mick was there for a grand total of 2 minutes before fucking vanishing and all we really got out of him was a half baked backstory that he admitted to way too quickly. Everything culminated in the villains being 3 steps ahead of us the entire time and the grand victory just being shooting the bitch (which Sonny once again couldn't do himself). All this did was make me feel like everything I had done was for jack shit. Every clue and lead a trap that was ended with a single bullet. So unbelievably unfulfilling, even if it was still a victory.

Lastly, of course, the elephant in the room. Marty's death was stupid, plain and simple. Writing out of the way, the logistics just didn't make sense? Did Mick only have one bullet or something? Why'd he drive away after a single shot? Marty's death added literally nothing to the story. It was abrupt, thrown in at the last few minutes of the game, and almost felt sort of... passive aggressive in a way? I don't know how else to put it.. There was an air of insincerity to the entire sequence. If you're going to permanently kill a main character there had better be a good reason and there just wasn't one. I literally cannot fathom why this choice was made. So they didn't have to make anymore games? Okay then just don't? Why'd you have to do that? Marty had a family to return to and Sonny had already made up his mind on leaving Clawville, the end of the Chicken Police was already set in stone.. This just felt like an unnecessary jab at no-one in particular.

Some smaller things that bothered me, rather than answering some older questions the last game set up like the shooting incident they instead chose to not answer anything and throw in a few more questions about Sonny's past that will likely never be answered now. Unless they intend on making prequels of some kind? But even that just doesn't feel right now. You see what needlessly killing a main character does? Lmao. Also for the combining feature in the inventory being added we barely got to use it, I wish there was more use in that.

Characters and voice acting were fantastic as always. But otherwise yeah, that's what was on my mind. It's a solid 6/10. I had a great time but the final act really soils so much of the full experience. Lmk what you few other Chicken Police fans on Tumblr think

OK I'm done yapping now, I'm gonna draw Sonny and Marty kissing sloppy style

[gamie99]

Skibidi Grammar: A Brief Amateur Study

Because I honestly have nothing better to do. We studying the Skibidi writing system up in this bitch 🔥🔥

(Spoilers for Episode 70 Part 2 below! Proceed with caution!)

In the latter half of Episode 70 Part 2, Plungerman picks up this document in what I'm calling 'the hardware artifact room', featuring what is very clearly the written form of the language used by the Skibidi Toilets. This honestly kind of shocked me (the toilets have a writing system??) but at the same time it doesn't - every intelligent civilization, no matter how absurd, has to have some way to keep records handy, especially one as advanced as the toilets.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that we obviously can't translate the Skibidi language, the exact nature or contents of this document are completely unclear. However, I'm going to analyze what we can see and understand anyway, because that's fun and I have horrific brainrot. LET'S BEGIN!!

But before we start analyzing the actual text itself, I'd like to quickly get the two photos on the document out of the way:

The first photo is of the Scientist Toilet, with some weird round thing behind him that kind of looks like an airplane engine. His photo is apparently captioned, written in red and in larger text than the rest of the text on the document. What is the caption? Is that his legal name?? Again, it's completely unclear.

The second photo depicts an Astro Toilet - his style of helmet makes it obvious. What isn't obvious, however, is who this Astro Toilet is. He isn't the one from Part 1, and he doesn't resemble the other two Astro Toilets we've seen before either - all of their helmets are different. If I'm not mistaken, this is the fourth Astro Toilet we've seen in the series, and looking at where we currently are at, he definitely won't be the last.

Why these two are featured on this document is, again, unknown. But we can deduce that the Astro Toilets and the Scientist Toilet are connected in a very important way.

Now, with that out of the way, time to actually analyze the written toilet language!!

The Skibidi language is written in all caps, and makes obvious use of some of the characters from the Greek alphabet - you might be familiar with a few if you've taken any kind of advanced math in school. This seems to be purely for aesthetic reasons, seeing as how the Greek letter Ψ is used in place of the Latin letter Y in 'YES' when Ψ makes the 'ps' sound. I ain't gonna complain though. I love doing shit for the sake of 'make it Fancy™'.

A couple of the words are underlined, which wouldn't be too strange by itself, if not for the fact that some of the words are also overlined (this can most clearly be seen in the first 'SKIBIDI' in the second paragraph). Some kind of punctuation or markings to denote proper nouns, maybe? I don't know.

Speaking of punctuation (kinda), we have some symbol usage in the form of {}! They're used to surround a set of words in the second paragraph ({DOB YES YES}).

< and > also make an appearance! In the second paragraph, they're used to separate two words (SKIBIDI<>DOM), and in the third paragraph, they're used to surround four words (>SKIBIDI SKIBIDI SKIB IDI<). Again, no idea what purpose these symbols have - maybe they have a similar function to the {} we see here?

And now, for some various other interesting things I've noticed!

The first four lines of the first paragraph is the classic unaltered Skibidi chant. Neato!

There's a lot of variety in the community when it comes to spelling the word "DOP". This document features three different spellings - 'DOP', 'DOM', and 'DOB' - which I suppose makes them all correct! There's also the word 'DIP' that's featured here too.

There's a random upside down A in one of the words in the second paragraph (it's a bit hard to read due to the faded text, but I can best Latinize it as 'YES∀SKIBIDI'). Interesting!

'BRRR' and 'BRRRRH' are words. Hahaha!

And that's about all I have to say about the Skibidi written language! Moral of the story: ...uh, man, my brainrot is horrible right now have a good day everyone LMFAOOOO

[struggling-to-find-home]

Gotta love getting hit with the "medical people NEVER get sick normally and always have some sort of fucked up shit" curse early:

Randomly lose half of vision in the middle of the holidays, when zero hospitals work full time

Find out reason is blood; NO problems with blood or blood vessels ever, yet somehow have shitton of weirdly positioned blood in the eye

Find an additional vessel that's not supposed to be there

Get hospitalised, start therapy, stay in hospital over the holidays

Therapy works badly; start the new semester generally seeing black™

Get scheduled for "What the fuck" surgery because the doctors want to know why therapy didn't work

Plan for surgery: survive. No algorithm, no predicted time for how long it'll last, no guarantees whether it does anything or whether or not I will even see anything. Just me and an ophtalmology OR wilding out.

Start surgery

Surgery IMMEDIATELY goes awry when anesthesia DOESN'T WORK. I feel nearly everything. Yikes

Anaesthesia uses enough anaesthetic to kill a horse, it still doesn't work.

The operation takes three hours, leaving everyone exhausted. I drift in and out of consciousness the entire time, usually passing out from pain. Takes so long I forget I have two eyes by the time surgery is done.

I break down when they start stitching the eye up and start full-on sobbing because I feel EVERYTHING, including the needle going through the eye. That is NOT something you easily recover from.

Immediately after the thing ends everyone in the OR (including me) makes the simultaneous decision that, if we need to do this again, I'm being knocked fully unconscious because what in the actual fuck

Anaesthesia fully goes away after half an hour from the OR, I'm in so much pain I can't even get up to press the "call nurse" button

Hospital roommate calls the nurse, I get an anti-pain injection, wake up four hours later groggy af with 19502030962 missed calls

First text is to the med school groupmate chat: "Just to add a new medical fear for you all: sometimes, anaesthesia doesn't work even when they add a quadruple dose:)"

Keep eye closed until evening eye drops because I'm scared to pull stitches

They take the bandage off and I CAN SEE. I'm not supposed to see and everything is warped to hell, but I SEE shapes and colours when there's just supposed to be a white haze.

Next day: "I'll start with a question. Am I supposed to only see a white haze?" "Yep" "Then why the FUCK am I seeing?" "Oh, that's a good sign. If you see a clear pocket, that's generally what the retina will send to the brain"

"So why didn't the anaesthesia work?" "Idk, I guess your daughter has a real good metabolism and doesn't drink or do drugs"

It's true - the three previous generations of my family were chemists + I don't even get drunk because alcohol filters out of my system too quickly. Generally lead a sober lifestyle because of it: what's the point of drinking when the trade off is literally ten minutes of fun vs. permanent liver damage

Not supposed to have clear vision. See bottom of my jacket with CRYSTAL CLARITY, in GREAT DETAIL when I'm being driven home. So I guess fuck the predictions too lmao

Anyway they still don't know what's wrong with me✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻 I'm a medical anomaly.

Secondly: either don't do drugs because they might not work, or do drugs so anaesthesia works on you.

[local-pr1nter]

General Kiyotaka Ishimaru Headcanons

Now THIS is my favorite character

This bad boy can fit so many headcanons it's crazy

Once he joined Hope's Peak, he got friends and learned to loosen up a bit, get some new hobbies and actually have fun.

So first off, he's not some "uwu soft boy" let's get that out of the way.

So mans athletic as fuck - probably joined a shit ton of sports as he grew up - all whilst balancing his grades ofc, you can't participate if you don't have good grades. Once he joined Hopes Peak he kept working out on his own time.

He participated in these sports specifically: soccer, swim, boxing, track and field, and kendo (his favorite is kendo)

He unintentionally got ripped due to all of it and it stuns his father to this day.

Like man drop your workout routine and meal preps that body of your is absurd.

Religiously takes cold showers. It scares everyone. He prefers it over warm showers. Even in winter.

Not as unpopular as many think. He's not a "cool kid™", but lots of people see him as a nice kid. No one really has an issue with him - unless they're a trouble maker, and if so, they despise the moral compass.

Otherwise, he's described as a nice dude, albeit loud and obnoxious at times.

Can't pick up on social cues for the life of him. Feels awful about it afterwards.

Fucking LOVES graphic novels and comics. Typically ones with an action hero or a fantasy setting. He's a dork. He usually hides it out of embarrassment, shame, or even guilt. At one point, Chihiro found one of his comics, prompting him to almost have a heart attack on the spot.

The same goes with anime. He rarely binges shows, but he'll put on some action or fantasy anime in the background while doing something else. Same thing with the comics, but less prone to have a heart attack.

Likes to spend his free time either hanging out with friends, studying, or look at pieces of art from other students. He's a big fan of Yonaga's work and often finds himself sitting in the art department to watch her work.

Big 'ol Art Historian btw. Big fan of the Romantic and Rococo Period.

He was once dragged into a gaming session with Chihiro and Mondo to play Mortal Kombat 9. Quickly chose a main and mastered it, always beating their asses whenever they play. (He's a Kenshi main)

Give him a topic and he will discuss it until you tell him to stop. Literally anything interests him - he's open for any discussion or debate.

Due to his friendship with Mondo, he unintentionally enlisted a gang of bodyguards that have his back 24/7. Even though he can defend himself just fine.

He likes dogs and cats well enough, but isn't exactly the best with animals, as he can't sit still long enough to let one get used to him. He strives to earn animals affection one day.

Also loves to play cards or other tabletop games - Celestia is often his opponent in that regard, indulging in his interest whilst teaching him tricks and techniques so she could have a formidable opponent.

And lastly, his sleep schedule is so fucked up.

Yasuhiro, Mondo, or his father have to drag him away from his work to make him go to sleep. If they don't catch him in time he will overwork himself before his body just forces itself to shut down.

On the bright side, it's given them some funny and ridiculous sights to walk in on.