#fully exposing myself but idc

[sunnibits]

really normal 41 seconds of con o’neill’s acting choices in 3steps that I have compiled for no particular reason whatsoever 👍 enjoy

[tiredsadpeach]

Update they both hate me because I told the child one of them was harassing the acc he could block to try and stop it

[fthistumblershit]

Sorry you’re so easily upset, but saying you’re an adult responsible for managing your own triggers and symptoms isn’t pseudo-psychology, it’s just a fact. I know personal responsibility is uncomfortable especially for ED sufferers but there will always be triggers. The philosophical and political affiliations of the community you immerse yourself in doesn’t preclude those individuals from saying things that you might personally find upsetting or triggering. You clearly have a lot of negative emotions to sort through and I’d advise you to step away from social media if you’re having difficulty managing them and are so upset and unbalanced by what strangers say to each other on tumblr. If you choose to relapse it’s on you, not someone who said something you found fatphobic.

I see you're taking the "you're hysterical" route right now.

1. I'm easily upset by unknown people not showing their face and telling me who I am, what I feel, and what I should do. Especially when they're condescending about it. It happens when you're a human being.

2. When I say it's "pseudo-psychology", I mean that there are many currents in nowadays psychology that have many different perspectives on how to deal with trauma, trauma-response, boundaries, and triggers. So, I'm not saying that being an adult who should be responsible for their triggers is not a fact (I said it myself); I'm saying your approach to psychological problems isn't a proven one nor the only one.

3. Honestly, the fact that you think that I, again a person you don't know, struggle with personal responsibility is absolutely beyond me. My sense of personal responsibility is none of your concern. I assure you I'm a functional adult which has achieved many important things in my life (at least I consider them so) that in other times I would have thought impossible. Really, you don't have to be this concerned about my mental health or my sense of adulthood. I'm doing fine. And that's according to professionals. Ofc, now you'll say I don't seem to be or that you don't believe me or whatever trick you might have up your sleeve. Idc.

3 and 4. I know they'll always be triggers because you never fully recover from an eating disorder, partly because we live in a very sick society that hates women and fatness. You really, really don't have to tell me that, thank you. I was in therapy for many years and not with an anon, but with actual professionals who knew me personally. I have never implied (but after all, this is my third language) that I expected the community I "immerse myself in" to be nice no matter what, or walk on eggshells with me, because that's absurd and frankly inconsiderate. If not right down abusive. What I meant was two things that maybe were easily confused with one another: that I was potentially triggered by the rudeness, as in name-calling, mocking, etc. used by some people on this website; and, separate from that, that I was shocked (not triggered) by the apparent ignorance and prejudice on radblr related to the intersection between female fatness (not EDs) and medical misogyny. So, to correct your point, No, I wasn't expecting radblr to be nice to poor me with their opinions on that subject. They can have all the opinions they want, but one can always express themselves in a civil manner when exposing them, especially when talking about very sensitive subjects.

5. This is just insulting, to be honest. Don't worry! I'm not triggered. I'm just stating my opinion. Again, you stranger on the Internet who don't know me and seems to be adamant on worrying about my health, I wouldn't know what to tell you about my negative emotions. I don't usually measure them. When someone makes me angry, I express my anger as healthily as I can, trying to be assertive but not aggressive. When I'm sad, I try to cope by being functional and dealing with my responsiblities (job, house chores, master's, family and friends) as best as I can and try not to dampen anyone's mood in the process. When I'm horny, I masturbate and feel much better afterwards. I'm unable to tell you how many negative or positive emotions I have on a daily basis; I can assure I also have very positive ones, like feeling loved or achieving new things in my professional and academic life. I'm not upset nor "unbalanced" (you meant to say "hysterical" but stopped at the last moment?) by what strangers say to each other on the Internet. I am upset (because I'm a human being) by insults, mockery, prejudice, etc. regarding someone's physical appearance or diet because it was worded aggresively and maliciously. If someone insults you and you're affected by it, it's your responsibility to manage it, but you have a right to feel it and defend yourself. On the other hand, if someone talks about weight, physical appearance, and dieting in a neutral or respectful manner, I don't feel triggered at all.

7. May I say, that your rhetoric is somewhat reminding me of DARVO tactics with all the gaslighting and guilt-tripping. "If you CHOOSE to relapse," something "YOU FOUND fatphobic." If I relapsed, it'd mostly be my responsibility, sure, but you don't choose to. In that moment, it's already out of your control. And, ONCE AGAIN, I haven't relapsed. I was talking about a potential trigger. I've fought with this for many years without a single relapse, but I know this illness well enough to recognise potential triggers. And again, these posts are appearing on my dash. I don't follow these people.

8. Last of all, why are you so invested in my mental health all of a sudden? Do you send anons to every recovered bulimic/anorexic on Tumblr? I understand my initial post might have striked controversy but a psychological profile seems a bit exaggerated. And, look, I'm sorry if my sarcasm strikes you as me being "unbalanced" or being "easily upset." But I think, unfortunately, we agree to disagree.

Now, I have work tomorrow and it's quite late here, so if you could leave me alone, I'd thank you immensely. Btw, I'll leave Tumblr whenever I see fit. It wouldn't be the first time, nor the last. But that's my choice and my reasons to stay in it.

[cosmictulips]

I LOVE YOU 💙

Also is that how eclipse works? Cuz I ended up almost crying (I had my mask and glasses on) with my parents right beside me while we were at the hospital. Like. I'm sure this one patient noticed but IDC about him so it's fine. But it kills me that my parents noticed. Can't I have one conversation without crying? Not that it's bad but I can't!! Not in front of my parents and not regarding the most haunting insecurity of mine! Our family in general are bad at communication and I've tried to fix it before but I'm not strong enough myself yet. So we just keep living lol. Cuz we're alive. Whether we understand and accept or not, we have to keep living cuz we're still alive lool. So I can't present my vulnerable self before them. But I ended up exposing a smol part of myself that day. And others might think that I'm not making any sense. But this is something i would avoid at all costs. But one good thing that happened out of that situation was that I could escape their poking me at that insecurity. They usually blame me. Or has something in general to say. I would walk on egg shells. But I didn't have to this time. So I'm just focusing on myself. I guess it's easier this way. Although they played a MAJOR part in why I'm struggling, I guess it's better at least a tiny bit now that I don't have to think about them..

Anyways.. I'll say this again

I FREAKING LOVE YOUR EXISTENCE MISS TULIPS! 💙

Hello!

Yea kind of. it depends on where the energy is hitting you. for me it's in my 8th house so it was a dooooozy of a time haha.

Crying is a sign that something that needs to be healed and in the process of crying, it IS being healed. so never be upset about it. I used to be the same way until I actually... healed it haha. which, comes with time. as things always do.

Yea, I didn't get to fully address any of that until I was officially away from my family, and like, did some MAJOR work in cutting everyone associated with them out. it's only been... about three years honestly. but even the work i did before the "Great Collapse" as I call it, helped a lot.

Don't be too hard on yourself. I know that's hard because you're still probably struggling with the mindset that your parents gave you. Which isn't me trying to blame you, I'm just saying you HAVE to be away from them to fully heal, because right now, from experience, I know that there are triggers you aren't aware of and won't be aware of until you enter a healthy environment. and that's okay!

just... be easy with yourself until that time comes.

[fanfics4all]

Just One Hug

Request: Yes / No  can u do a draco x fem!reader smut pls.. literally anything idc Anon

Requests are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 2085

Warnings: Smut!

Y/N: Your Name 

Y/L/N: Your Last Name

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Draco has been acting so odd lately. He’s been glaring at me the whole train ride home, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why! Normally he would glare at me because he was jealous of someone I was with or some other stupid reason, but I was currently just sitting with Pansy. 

“Pansy, do you have any idea what’s up with Draco?” I whispered. She looked over and shrugged. 

“I have no bloody idea. Maybe it’s because you hugged Harry goodbye?” She suggested and I shook my head. 

“There is no bloody way he’s jealous over a hug! Even if it is Harry.” I said as I thought back to a few hours ago. 

“Harry’s hands were pretty low.” Pansy said and I furrowed my brow. 

“Were they?” I asked and she nodded. 

“I swear I thought he was going to grab your bum.” She said with a laugh. 

“Are you being serious?” I asked shocked. 

“How the hell did you not feel it?” She asked and I shrugged. 

“Suppose I wasn’t paying attention.” I said and she shook her head. 

“You’re a bloody idiot Y/N.” She laughed and I sighed. 

“So Draco is jealous of a damn hug.” I shook my head. 

“A very steamy looking hug.” She said and I glared at her. 

“Oh Merlin, I’m going to have a lot to deal with this vacation.” I sighed and she smirked. 

“Maybe it’ll work out in your favor.” She wiggled her brows and I shoved her. 

“Pansy!” I shrieked and she laughed. 

When the train finally stopped Draco grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him. We silently walked through the crowd and were met by one of his house elves. 

“Master Draco, your parents are on a short trip and sent me to receive you and Miss Y/L/N.” He said. 

“Take us home, now.” He ordered and the House elf obayed. We were instantly transported to Malfoy Manor and Draco wasted no time taking me to his room. 

“Sit.” He ordered and I sat down on his bed. He walked into his bathroom without another word and I didn’t dare move. I could tell where this was going. Draco returned after a few moments completely naked, I simply looked up at him. 

“Are you ready to be a good girl?” He asked brazenly. 

“Yes Sir.” I answered softly. 

“Are you going to be my slut and let me use you however I’d like?” He asked and I had to bite back my smile, he always no matter what, asked for consent before any play time. 

“Yes Sir.” I answered. 

“Are you going to do everything I command?” He asked. 

“Yes Sir.” I answered. 

“Who owns you?” He asked, his voice getting deeper. 

“You, Sir.” I answered and he smirked. 

“Take off your top.” He ordered. His eyes never left mine as I removed my shirt. 

“And now your bra.” He ordered. I reached behind me to unclasp my bra and it dropped down my arms onto my lap. Involuntarily I crossed my arms over my now naked breasts. 

“Don’t act like you don’t know what you are, whore.” He said, now completely in character. 

“Put your arms down.” He ordered, the last words sounded a little deeper in his throat. 

“Yes Sir.” I said and dropped my arms. 

“Stand up.” He ordered and I did as I was told. 

“Take off your skirt.” He said. I unzipped my skirt and bent down to push it down, but his hand grasped my hair, making me gasp. 

“Oh your knees.” He growled. I was forced down, his erect cock in front of my face. 

“Suck it like you need it.” He said. I lean forward, my tongue slipping past my lips. He pulled me back by my hair causing me to whine. 

“You suck it, lick it, and want it, whore or there’s a punishment waiting for you. Do you understand?” He asked. 

“Yes Sir.” I answered breathlessly. My head is forced down onto his cock this time. His size fills my mouth and the tip touches the back of my throat. I moaned as I gagged and choked on him. 

“Like that, or I’ll do it for you.” He said huskily as he released my hair. I nodded and moved to take him fully into my throat. I alternated between sucking and licking, sometimes taking him fully into my mouth so I could choke on him. It was just what he liked. His hand reached down and held my head, pushing me further. Tears began falling down my face as my breath escaped me, but I still moaned. 

“You really love my cock in your mouth, don’t you? You just love sucking my dick. What a cum slut you are.” He said with a smirk. I felt like I couldn’t take anymore, but luckily his hand wrapped in my hair and pulled me until I was standing. 

“Look at what a mess you are. Do you enjoy being a mess?” He asked. I nodded, feeling his strong hand starting to grip my throat. After a moment his hand left my throat and moved to my breasts, grabbing them roughly. I gasped at his touch. His hands grabbed them and twisted my nipples, making me moan. The pain is intense and runs through my body, making me gasp in pleasure. 

“You like being used by me, don’t you?” He asked, calmly. 

“Yes Sir.” I answered, just barely managing to get the words out. 

“You like being my whore, don’t you?” He asked, his voice getting deeper. 

“Yes Sir.” I whined as he pulled me towards him by grabbing my ass, still in my panties. He moved his mouth towards my breast. He started biting, sucking, leaving his mark on my breasts. I moaned loudly and arched my back. My pussy was wet and my hips reached for his body. I wanted him no, needed him. I needed him inside me.

“Turn around, slut.” He whispered as he grabbed my breasts roughly and spun me around. His arms wrapped around me, pinning my arms to my body as his other hand reached into my panties. I felt his fingers slide into my wetness. I moaned and moved back against his hard cock. 

“You’ll cum when I tell you you can, and not until I say you can. Understand?” He said huskily into my ear. I moaned deeply. 

“Yes Sir.” I whisper. His fingers continue their exploration inside me, circling my clit and pinching it. I started losing all  my thoughts except the one command he gave me. No cumming. My body was in agony as his fingers continued grabbing my clit and sliding into my soaking wet pussy. After what felt like a lifetime, he pulled away and let go of me. I felt him pull my hands behind my back, then muttering a spell. Ropes circled my wrists, binding them tightly. He grabbed me by the throat from behind and I felt his cock pressing against me. 

“No cumming until I allow it.” He reminded me. I nodded slightly, his strong fingers still around my windpipe. 

“Get on the bed.” He said letting go of me. I kneeled forward and clumsily kneeled on the bed. He grabbed my arms and laid me on my side. 

“Look at you with your sluttiest panties on.” His voice was deep with desire and slight mocking. He muttered another spell and suddenly my panties were off. 

“Look at me.” He ordered. I turned my head towards him and found him watching me with one hand holding my ass and the other held my panties. 

“Open your mouth.” He said. I opened without a word and he shoved them into my mouth, enough to muffle my moans. 

“Are you going to take it like the good little slut you are?” He asked, his hand roughly spreading my legs. He moved one under him and pushed the other towards my chest, exposing my wet pussy to him. He looked at me and reached over, grabbing my hair roughly. 

“Yes Sir.” He said, moving my head up and down. I moaned loudly as he started to slowly slide into me. He pulled back and I looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“No cumming. Only I decide when you can cum.” He growled and I tried to show him how much I needed it. He slid into me again, I moaned and squirmed. I shoved my face into his blanket, fighting against my need for release. He smiled as he pounded into me hard. He pulled out until only his tip was teasing the inside of me. I moaned loudly, a desperate attempt to show him how badly I needed to cum. 

“Is this what you like, slut?” He asked, the tip of his cock just barely stroking the inside of me. 

“Please!” I moaned, but it was muffled by my panties. He pushed deeply inside me for two strokes and then teased my pussy with the tip again. Two more times and I’m completely needy. My muscles tensed as I tried desperately to push myself onto his cock. My pleas grew louder and I thrashed my head widely, fighting for release. He pushed deep inside me and I cried out in pleasure. With every stroke he reminded me that I can’t cum. 

“Please, please, please, please!” I begged with tears streaming down my face. 

“You’re such a good little whore.” He said with a smirk in his voice. 

“Tell me who you belong to.” He growled as he started fucking me harder and harder. 

“You! I belong to you Draco!” I nearly screamed, well as much as I could gagged. 

“You may cum now.” He said as his hands grabbed my ass and pulled me roughly to him with every stroke. I cried out as I came and my body loosened as I felt the waves of relief wash over my body. It took no time for my pussy to tighten around him as I came hard on his cock. He continued riding me hard as I came. Once I was finished I felt him pull out. He pulled me up by my hair, my body shaking from the intense orgasm. He pulled the panties from my mouth and replaced them with his cock. He moved my head rhythmically on his cock. I slurped and slid over his wet dick. He moves my head as he needs to and I felt his body tighten as his cum fills my mouth. His cum slides down my throat as his cock throbs against my swollen lips. I swallow every drop with a content sigh. He released my hair and I looked up at him. He bends down and captures my lips in a deep kiss. He mumbled a spell and the ropes disappeared from my wrists. 

“Stay here.” He said softly. I watched him walk into his bathroom and heard his shower starting. He walked back into the room and took me by the hand, leading me into the hot shower. The warm water feels so good on my tired and sore body. Once I finished I got out and changed into the nightgown Draco left me. I walked into the room to find him reading and smiled. He looked over at me with a smile and opened his arms. I gladly crawled into bed and cuddled into him. His arms wrapped around me and I sighed happily as I laid on his chest. 

“Did I hurt you?” He asked and I shook my head. 

“My wrists and head are a little sore, but nothing horrible.” I answered with a smile. He kissed my head and held me a little tighter. 

“I’m sorry love, but I honestly can’t stand seeing Potter putting his hands anywhere near you.” He growled and I rolled my eyes. 

“So Pansy was right.” I said and he looked at me confused. 

“She said you were jealous because apparently Harry was pretty much grabbing my bum.” I said and he started at me shocked. 

“Apparently? He was a hundred percent grabbing your arse!” He said and I sighed. 

“I think you two are exaggerating.” I said and he shook his head. 

“Are you trying to be punished again?” He asked, but with a playful tone. 

“Possibly.” I smirked playfully back at him. 

“It’s going to be a long week for you Y/N.” He smirked and I pecked his lips.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie​ @tashy-bear​ @ashwarren32​ @hollie-blogs-blog1​ @schisbro87​ @lover-of-books-and-teas​ @nerdygaloresposts​ @teenwolfbitches2​ @genius2050​ @drw0301bieber​ @lady-of-lies​ @ravenmoore14​ @ravenempress101​ @cillianchamp​ @rowanthomasknapp​ @rachelxwayne​ @in-slytherin-we-trust​ @accio-rogers​ @sambucky8​ @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @answer-the-sirens​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @vanessa-kom-skaikru​ @dracoswhvre​

[betelguwuse]

I’m starting to think maybe I don’t want to get married. Hypothetically I’d love to be in a godly marriage with a man who respects me and sees me as the person that God does (and not only me but women as a whole), but realistically do christian men like that even exist? Mainstream christianity, especially gender discourse, is so watered down and twisted into something that’s more political than biblical. I feel like this is gonna piss off both the christians and feminists, even though I’m both (though some might say I’m not a real feminist, whatever idc lol). Might also tag as Side B because I feel like this is also maybe a Side B mood? But here goes.

Color coded by vague topic, bolded so it’s easier to read.

Like I recently heard of a pastor being criticized for saying it’s a woman’s duty to look good for her husband, and the boomer conservatives were acting like criticisms of this pastor was the end of christianity. There’s no way “looking good” in a biblical sense was anything more than basic hygiene, nowhere near the beauty standards of today; and that is if the idea of looking good for your husband is even in the bible. These people siding with the pastor were saying that any woman who doesn’t shave or hide her “flaws” with makeup or basically completely embody the tradwife meme are bad wives. Like what the literal hell.

Honestly the entire tradwife aesthetic seems to be the goal for a lot of young christian couples, when it’s not inherently biblical. I used to be into it myself because heck yeah staying home, housekeeping, taking care of children, and wearing cute flowery dresses sounds like a dream. But my goals aren’t universal! Some women don’t want kids. Some women want to work. Good and God-honoring women of the bible didn’t all have kids and stay home. I mean the timeline of the bible spans so long, so yeah maybe there were times when most women did. But that doesn’t mean women who didn’t were bad wives or lesser women. Not to mention there’s such a blurred line currently between cute tradwife lifestyle and creeps who fetishize the idea of a traditional (and by traditional they mean submissive) wife. Gross.

Another thing too many christian men do is say women can’t be in any position of power in the church. There is the whole specific issue of whether or not women should be the highest up actual pastor of the church, and I don’t know enough about that whole debate to validate or debunk it, but I’m not talking about that specifically here. Aside from that one position, a lot of christians think women can only teach other women and girls but not guys, even like literal child boys. That’s so weird, like imagine thinking a little boy has more authority than, or even equal to, a grown woman? Couldn’t be me. And this whole idea comes from an out of context “I do not permit women to speak in the church” from a regular human guy. And the reason he said this was that the women around him were spreading heresy. I still think it’s flawed logic to exclude all women from speaking in that situation just because most of them were wrong, but again, this wasn’t a command from God. This was just a guy recording his church experience and doing his flawed human best to manage it. Various women throughout the actual bible outside of this one leader’s timeline held positions of power in various churches. And modern day american christian men think biblical womanhood is all about subservience? Bro what bible are you reading?

I just want to make it clear that these are all just generalizations, but having been in various actual biblical communities and conservative christian communities, I can kinda pick up on the general sexist behaviors of the latter. But unfortunately in today’s political climate more and more young christians are only being exposed to political opinions that are surface level americanized good christian morals, but not actually biblical.

Even on top of that, even if a man knows of these biblical misconceptions, we live in a society. Like we’re constantly exposed to women’s sexualization, and it’s pretty impossible to escape that. I don’t want to spend my life with someone who’s grown up in a world where women are seen as weak, objects, pleasure machines, etc. And yeah we can unlearn these biases (honestly I hate the word unlearn but I can’t think of a substitute rn), but it feels like a hassle to casually figure out whether a guy can make an effort to understand what women go through, and if I were to just bring it up I’d scare them away. And that’s not to say I’m some perfect person who’s never sexualized men, we are all sinners after all and we live in a fallen world etc etc. But a whole society where women are so objectified that it’s normal for little boys to be watching porn, that just doesn’t really happen with little girls. I can’t speak for all women, but when I started seeing men sexually it was in my late teens when I realized like ‘oh I can sexualize men too? wild. ok I’m an adult lemme check it out’. Still sinful, but not ingrained in me from porn ads as a kid the way most young boys have been since like the creation of the internet.

Even the men currently in my life who genuinely want what’s best for me are so incredibly misogynistic it’s baffling. My male family members see any woman who breaks an imaginary dress code or ideology is some kind of deviant. I just want to make it clear that this is MY family and I’M the only one who gets to complain about them. We all love each other here even if the males are horribly wrong.

So I shaved my head for halloween and my dad could barely look at me, not because he was exactly mad or anything but just because I looked ugly to him. He always says ‘close the windows in your apartment because men will spy on you changing’ but after my hair was gone he was all ‘actually don’t bother because nobody will look at you looking like that’ like wow I wasn’t aware men only sexualized women for their hair. Like you really think a gross creeper is gonna be turned off by a fully naked oblivious vulnerable woman just because she’s bald? That’s not how any of this works. And just today my sister was watching a goth youtuber egirl or something, I didn’t see her makeup but my dad said stuff like ‘ew why does she look like that, maybe it’d be cool as a costume but how is she going to get a job’. Like, I’m not one to go ‘women don’t wear makeup for men’ (because most women who only use makeup to hide their insecurities and follow beauty standards very much just do it so they don’t get backlash from others, if not directly to please men), but when it’s a fun crazy look that’s not meant to be pretty, I’m all for that shit and generally I hate when men lose respect for a woman just for wearing something they don’t like. Like fashion isn’t real and your appearance should be as costumey or weird as you want without people losing respect for you. Also like...do men know that makeup isn’t permanent?? Like if she wanted a job that required no makeup she could easily wipe her face off and get one?? Not only that, but people can work from home and/or be self employed. Maybe youtube itself was this girl’s job. Who the hell cares man. And the worst thing here is my brother outright said one time “the root cause of feminism is pride”. B r u h. And this was back when I considered myself an anti-feminist, even then I knew that feminism started for good reason and I was absolutely furious. I think I kept it to myself like a coward lol, but if anyone said that to me now I’d tear them apart. In a debate I mean, not like literal violence.

Tldr: I’m not trying to say men are inherently more evil because there’s evil in everyone, but the way it takes shape in men in most societies is so insidious and inescapable. I love my family and guy friends, but I don’t want to deal with one in a romantic/sexual relationship because I don’t know if even the most educated and goodest christian boi in this world can see me as a true equal. It sucks because I want sex and children, but when the mainstream idea of hetero sex is female submission, it just makes me shrivel up and contemplate becoming a nun. I’m not even catholic. But even nuns are sexualized and degraded in coomer’s disgusting brains. In conclusion I’m going feral and starting my own woman-only church in the woods let’s go ladies.

[someone1348]

AHH because like-

Im exposing myself idc! Lmaoo

My death spot is my ribs so if i get an Eret Tickle hug im fully doomed!

Im always fully doomed i can't hide my death spot no matter which way i try to turn or "cover" it hehe im-

Lee brain go brrr!

[jaehyunoos]

Idc what anyone says taeyong is a boob man.

Im fully exposing myself

JDFGJMGDFJ and that’s on period??? i get major boob vibes, i fee like he loves to get lost inbetween them, especially if you have big ones too ;)

[calumcest]

Thoughts on scrambled eggs

SLKDFNSKJDNF oh my god i’m about to fully expose myself here. i fucking LOVE scrambled eggs so i am literally the worlds laziest cook i want to go from feeling hungry to having eaten in the space of at an absolute maximum 10 minutes i dont have time to put shit in the oven i dont have time to cook a fucking bolognese and i dont have the money for microwave meals so for the last 3 months of uni i kid u not...every single night i ate scrambled eggs. and i’m not exaggerating when i say every single night like clockwork 6pm i’m in the kitchen making my scrambled eggs. like i literally know how cursed that is dont worry my housemates let me know enough but i did and i’m still not sick of them i fucking miss my scrambled eggs because now i have to actually cook meals for my family anyway the only valid way t omake scrambled eggs is to put about a kilo of pepper in because they taste fucking amazing with pepper i know some people do fancy shit like chives and that idc about that who has the time knock in some pepper butter your roll to fuck and youre all set. god i fucking wnat scrambled eggs now 

[chillyravenart]

Who are your favourite asoiaf characters and why? Love your art and your answers 😁😁💙

Thank you soooo much anon 💕💕💕 I'm super glad you asked for favourite asoiaf characters and not pre-asoiaf because then we'd be here ALL YEAR and next year too. I'm also glad you said asoiaf and not GoT because the latter can officially do one. Semantics and specifics matter a great deal after all😉

I'm just going to be brief because I don't want to ramble on too long, but I fear this will end up being a long post anyway so I'll leave it under the cut. 

1. Daenerys Stormborn Targaryen: I love everything about her, from the top of her perpetually singed head to her 'dainty sandaled feet'. She embodies all that is great about House Targaryen. I've loved Dany from the very beginning, she was the abused underdog, the expendable chattel, the broodmare- but she ended up as the mother of dragons and the magnificent queen we now know her as 😍 She's been to hell and back, she's clawed her way back up to the top of the organic pile that is life and she has flourished. She's endured betrayal and hardship but she's learnt so much from it at her young age :') Dany is wise but conflicted, young and naive, merciful but ruthless when she needs to be and the destiny and magic that seems to surround her just add to her charisma and intrigue. She's the last scion of her house, the last dragon, and she's determined to leave her mark but with none of the arrogant entitlement that was the downfall of many members of her house. Her relationship with her advisers is something that humanises her a great deal and she had me hooked when she wanted to be a good ruler who would protect her people.

"Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can't protect themselves?"

I'm rooting for her so bad. Dany carries the eclectic history of her house with her, the blood of the dragon runs strongly through her veins and magnifies her excellence a million times over. She is a sister, a daughter, a mother to legends! At the heart of it, she wants to make the world a better place, to end oppression and slavery and injustice because she too has endured it.

“Slavery is not the same as rain. I have been rained on and I have been sold. It is not the same. No man wants to be owned.”

But despite all that, she's still a young girl with a young girl's heart and she makes mistakes and lapses of judgement BUT WHO IS PERFECT I ASK YOU? Even the most benign and just rulers in history had their flaws, they made mistakes, but it's what they achieve overall that matters. GRRM has created the perfect fantasy ruler in Daenerys Targaryen: she's complex, realistic, interesting and very human. She's got a good heart, a sharp mind, she's not infallible and has never asked to be held to impossible standards. I am in awe of her, I am enraptured, I am obsessed, SHE'S MA KWEEN OK❤😭

2. Jon Snow: I used to struggle to choose between Jon and Dany, but obviously Dany won as my numero uno in the end. I love this sassy, sullen boy so much, good lord he's everything ❤ Jon and Dany's parallels are uncanny. They're both such young people trying to do what they think is right (& it often is idc). I remember myself at 16 and I kid you not I was an actual troglodyte in comparison to those two. Anyway Jon is inherently a good person, but he's ruthless and flawed too and that's what I love about him. He's no self righteous niminy piminy chit. He's the bastard™ of Winterfell and if some meanie isn't already reminding us of that fact, then Jon does it himself haha. But I love how assertive he is too and doesn't take BS from anyone!

"I think not Greyjoy, this one belongs to me," was so iconic! I knew that boy was destined for greatness when he found himself a direwolf pup unlike any other! His love for his family is also very touching, despite being the familial outcast, he adores Robb and Arya and the others too (he’s never shown any animosity towards Sansa either) and he idolises his ‘father’ Ned too, and emulates his sense of honour and justice. He's so world weary and just done with everyone's shit 24/7 but he's a sweetheart too and honestly, I'd happily die fighting by his side. Like Dany, I admire his rise from a mere steward to the Lord Commander, I love that he makes questionable choices for the greater good (ahem like his father) and I love that he was born with a great destiny (unbeknownst to him) & he faces pitfalls at every turn but does he give up? No he does not.

P.S "Edd, fetch me a block" will be carved upon my tombstone. ICONIC.

3. Arya Stark: my little wolf child. I would have rolled over and died if I'd been through what she has, but her brains, her intuition and her heart has kept her thriving. I love how badass she is. As someone born with two left feet, I admire her agility and resilience so much. Arya is a survivor and a hardy little pup, she’s amicable, empathetic towards the less advantaged, she is touched with the milk of human kindness despite all that she endures BUT she has a darker side too (can you blame her?). Arya gazes into the abyss and the abyss gazes back. I personally love it, I love the vengeance that drives her, fuck magnanimity and forgiveness, if someone fucks with your family or friends, stick 'em with the pointy end.

4. Jaime Lannister: I love this golden fuckboy so much. I remember reluctantly hating him in AGoT but I still admired his flair and cockiness, he was such an arse! Long story short, when I got to see the real Jaime Lannister in the later books, the deep conflict that roiled within him, the noble knight that had been suppressed so long due to bad company and an even worse reputation. But what I love is that alongside all his gilded splendour, Jaime is a highly skilled fighter, a focused and loyal and emphatic man. He's not a charlatan or an inept fool. He fully deserves the acclaim. And let's not forget, Jaime's redemption arc was eye-wateringly epic. I loved his sense of humour, his good heart (once you chipped away at it for a while), the perpetual discord within him and his renewed moral code that emerged like a phoenix from the ashes. A massive thanks to Brienne of Tarth for helping to expose the Jaime we love and adore.

5. Tyrion Lannister: his cut-glass wit, intelligence and world weariness resonate with me on a deep level. GRRM literally created the most liveliest, intriguing character out of this scarred, little morsel of flesh. Tyrion is physically disadvantaged but his mind is sharper than ten men his age. He reads religiously, because a mind needs a book like a sword needs a whetstone, and anyone who can apply the wisdom of the past to better the present is worthy of admiration in my eyes. I loved his whole storyline as Hand of the King, we got to see him actually work for the good of the people of KL (for all the thanks he got lmao) and I love how competent and clever he is. Obviously he has a nasty, self motivated streak too but it doesn't turn me away, I love following his mind around the twists and turns of his murky conscience. Ultimately, Tyrion is a survivor and a hustler and he always manages to squeeze out of tight spots, not down to any legendary pugilistic skills but his quick wits.

I could say so much more about these characters but I shan't keep you any longer.

Honourable mentions go to: Ned Stark, Robb Stark, Cersei Lannister (I don't love her but I love her chapters so effing much), Sansa Stark, Brienne of Tarth, Oberyn Martell and Asha Greyjoy.

Thank you so much for this question!

[fox-1644]

Haha so I made a new tumblr account, as you can see I’ve fully exposed myself as a Charles stan but idc x

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE SEVEN

“I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING.” - joey

HOH: Nathan UPSIDE DOWN: Emma NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki POV: Joshua FINAL NOMINEES: Josh C & Kiki EVICTED: Josh C (6-0)

ARIA

So,,,i highkey fucked up but all good things come to an end, I couldn't play the middle forever but the way it ended was just a little earlier than i expected. Also i handled the backlash of the dpov HORRIBLY! I did so many things wrong this week its insane even though i was on all day calling people i still fucked up,,,but its fine nothing i can really do to change that. But from here i want to fix things and do better, which does start with addressing where I fucked up so lets start with that woot woot (also holy shit that double was so draining this is the first time ive felt legitimately tired in a while and its only 1 am) 

1. COMP FLOPS

-literally all my allies flopped on the comps when we REALLY needed to win and its even worse combined with the information I was told where people told me they were throwing just to do well instead- its clear they weren't being honest with me and I settled into their lies without an ounce of hesitation 

2. LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

I just really settled certain things poorly leading up to this night, i think somewhere i majorly fucked up is with emma, if i was able to get her to vote out nick or get jacob to dpov someone she would vote out i would be in a much better position atm but i didn't and therefore ive exposed myself. And if i was able to receive knowledge of her rose gold dpov before hand i couldve worked out a new plan that way

3. DAMAGE CONTROL

This is where i **truly** fucked up and its gonna show in my jury management too, like theres NO way i could ever get nicks vote at this point in time. Also my gut instinct after the vote was to lie about the way i voted to kiki/joshua/nick/jev when i shouldve came clean and used a bullshit excuse about how i heard nick was after me or something. It's gonna damage my relationships with all of them

SO wabam here i am slightly fucked due to me being a mess but its okay!! I'm still in the game and while im not in as good as a position as I was last time im still certain i can get back into everyones good graces!! And i mean this vote did reveal that a lot of people consider me to be in a duo with them??? which um is kinda weird HBFSHDF Like joey and emma were both calling us duo of the season and i was like....k cute cool totally called that and knew we were a duo yup yup- FBHJDSBF LMAO but i mean in terms of my own position you have the two trios (jacob/bri/nathan and jev/kiki/joshua) who are going to go after each other with Josh C and Emma leaning toward jev/kiki/joshua while me and joey lean towards jacob/bri/nathan. Its crazy that its literally f10 and its five versus five with hardly any true middle player (for now wink wonk) 

But now that nick is out I need to think about whats next and whats my next big move. I think rn im involved with a lot of moves but im not the face of them (bri using pov on nathan, jacob dpoving bri) and such but if i want to win I have to make a move of my own and DEF need to work on jury management bc again nick is gonna hate my guts after reading my gbm,,,as yousef would say "oopsie whoopsie" so I think from here I need to get back in jev/kiki/joshua's good graces SOME how and im really tempted to come clean about my vote bc i think thats going to hurt me in the long run and theres literally already an alliance of all five of that side so like....whats the point of sewing mistrust but also, i do kinda want to try just being a dirty crime snake this game and seeing how much control I truly have on this game. Literally EVERYONE except those three knows my true vote and i've told them all to keep it to themselves so we'll see what happens,,,, im kinda tempted to pin the vote on emma just for funsies and tell them that "jacob told me hes close to emma" or some bs like that but also,,,thats kinda mean yknow? Its also a testament to test how much that trio trusts me which im GUESSING is less than emma but who knows maybe ill get lucky :DD 

Anyways in terms of moving on I really need someone who actually likes me to join jury so its not completely set against me the whole time but also im not sure how thats gonna go down ugh. I mean in terms of end game my options are starting to become limited because nathan/bri/jacob would all BODY me at the end bc at this point they've been the face of big moves and I hope my big move can be turning on one of them and getting them out at some point so when i really start to look at a realistic f2 I can win,,, im kinda leaning toward my new duos of emma or joey which is kinda a shocker to me too lemme tell u HFBSDF but joey's perception of the game seems,,,,messy and I think i can beat him while emma is def doing better but she hasnt snapped yet so i think i can maybe beat her. And then jev/joshua/kiki depends im not sure yet but the thing with them is none of them are gonna want to bring me to the end which is super frustrating (i mean i did just snake em so,,,maybe its deserved) 

The thing is that I like being honest about my vote so trying to have an honest game convo with any of those three is gonna be really hard,,,,esp considering they were all my targets for live night but here we are :') And i really dont know what to do at this point which is really annoyinggg (annoying @ myself theyre all lovely) I think im gonna have to wait a bit before i can try getting them all to fully trust me rn i dont know this has been such a mess but im doing my best!! Before i end this probably poorly aging paragraph its trust ranking time

1.myself (FUCK, and i cant stress this enough, EVERYONE)

HUGE GAP

2.Brianna (shes slowly becoming more stuck in jacob's trap but i do still think shes loyal to me, god IS a woman!!!)

3.Jacob (hate having this man so high bc hes bodying this game but he tells me a lot ig :/ )

ANOTHER GAP

4. Nathan (we need to call and discuss live night but he isnt going to like nominate me or anything)

5.Joey (apparently we're a f2?? not sure where that happened but also hes cagey idk)

-smol gap-

6.Josh C (told me his alliance!! shame he doesnt know im gonna rat him out to my side teehee)

7.Emma (we're also a duo?? almost forgot about that but i fucked her over here a bit but i can build the trust back up i THINK)

anothe gap

8.Jev (he talked to me after live night and didnt ask about my vote so thats cute....not sure where we stand...help)

9.Kiki (we talked briefly after the vote but idk if they realized im a snake yet)

10.Joshua (the silence is deafening) 

Not happy w/ my position yet and im likely to just come clean to joshua in a call tmrow because hes honestly really sweet and his friendship means a lot to me but i need to figure out how I leave me connection with jacob/bri out of it.. ill think of something

praying im not the most hated here but if i am it wouldnt be the first time ig, and thats on pewiod <3

JOEY

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING. Not a damn soul is coming after me, and more importantly, I have numbers on my side, and no one’s gonna be pissed off at me on BOTH sides of the house. People say Josh C is playing both sides? Nah, it’s me. I need him out because I’m trying to ride that middle man status. My ideal plan is to see Emma go home next week, so that way I ain’t responsible. I want to get rid of Jacob at Final 7, and I will damn sure make that happen. Aria and I have a Final 2 that I plan on sticking to. Seeing Nick go was sad, but good lord it was I-C-O-N-I-C.

EMMA

Everything in this game lately has honestly pissed me off first it was me getting blindsided during live night even though i didnt really want to vote nathan if i was being honest i wanted brianna out over nathan because i thought nathan would be more easier to work with them boom Dpov and boom nick going i am like a little unsure if i regret using the dpov or not i do regret it well because nathan won hoh and sent me to the upside down and nick probably wouldnt try super hard for hoh but then again it seemed my so called allies were probably more closer to nick but i am not even sure my so called low confidence is my weakness in my games but i dont know how to be more confident pretty sure everyone beats me in the end at this point unless if i win an hoh if i do at this point Jacob/Brianna/even nathan getting nominated i didnt want nathan out before like if i won hoh i would of put him to the upside straight up nominate brianna and jacob if one of them goes off the block joey gets put up as a pawn after the upside down week im gonna do whatever to make it to the end idc if i go to the end with somebody i cant beat i just want to make this game enjoyable for me as i can i dont want to float for awhile then bring a goat to the end NNN 

EMMA

my shit list  in order to who i target to who isnt on my rader

Jacob > Nathan > Brianna > Joshua = Aria > Jev > Kiki/Josh C > Joey

who i like most to who is most annoying to play on a game level (i dont really hate or dislike anyone on a personal level)

Aria > Jev > Joshua *tiny gap*  Nathan > Kiki/Josh C >>>>>>>>>>> Jacob > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Joey = brianna also joey would be higher but he lied to me for no reason even tho i didnt mind putting alot of trust in me and i love brianna on a personal level but girl i am not good socially with her which is my fault and her fault also jacob kinda assumed stuff about me like not big stuff like meta  but he still told other people except me (people who are out who i love)  Gina/Jakey > Saira=Nick=Monty=Mo *small gap* Nash >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> dog shit > Taylers dinner (dylan and the og homies know it) >>>>>>>>>>>> DEM

but yeah this game has made me happy because everyone is nice except dem but its been hard to play it because if i felt better i think i would of been playing a 100x times better game

JEV

So I'm safe but it comes at the cost of one of my two favourite people in this game. I've arguably grown closest to Josh C throughout this game, but I promised Joshua that if he saved me with veto I'd vote however he wanted and he wants Josh C to leave over Kiki. This week is me and Nash as final noms levels of ugly.

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szNaW65lCJ0&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=8&t=0s

[yfczangel777]

just to vent into the void here; 

on the previous post about ppl being offput by a fave if mine...I love this character soso much and like also we are a shit ton alike... like I hardcore self project onto him and GET him cuz our personality and frequently our way of speaking and our handling mental illness is spot on the same. Hasnt always been the nicest or healthiest for either of us but being able to fix and reconcile and learn to handle it better through loving action w him made me happy for him and also had a certain level of self comfort because we basically the same bitch lol. And people were saying how they didnt like when he got into his dark place for a bit and it was 'uncomfy' or threw them off the character as a whole or made him 'problematic' or smth and I'm just here like "um ouch :*) " cuz thats me bitch lol and also like that image of the lady holding the grown man and telling ppl off for that character

And like not to make excuses for either of us but like I dont think he was problematic? Maybe cuz I understand on a personal level? Like he did some things that weren't very kind when he was hurting but they weren't that bad and he did it out of what he felt was necessity and apologized later??

And fr like that wasnt even so bad. He self isolated and told the player "Idc if it hurts your feelings, I cant be close with you" and to stop having feelings for him cuz he wasnt worth it. Like?????

And like once during a literal time crunch life or death situation while also in the heat of his darkest place and having had a lot of fuked up shit revealed to him he purposefully broke a little robot that wouldn't be quiet and that was his own property at the time... not the players... because he hadnt given it to the player yet (later he fixes it and gives it as a gift)

He kept tabs on where you were and got worried if he didnt see you because a man had literally just crashed through your window and tried to abduct you and would have succeeded if he hadnt gotten there just in time. And it was clear that none of this was over and theres a target on your back still. He wasn't being controlling or unreasonable he was trying to keep you safe from very real danger.

Yes he told you off for a bit once meeting face to face. Yes he told you your feelings toward him were wrong and he was going to keep blocking you out so stop trying and just move on with your life and forget him. And if you didnt your feelings would be hurt and that's your own fault cuz he told you to back off.

That wasnt nice if him but it was preserving his own vulnerable heart and also your safety. This character is not your average dude. His lifestyle is literally ACTUALLY deadly dangerous. Hes taught time and again he isnt allowed to have friends ir family let alone a lover. He eludes to the fact that they HAVE forced him to uproot everything and drop everyone and change his whole identity more than once. And due to his field of work people who are close to him can be used against him and are in literal life threatening danger by association. The chatroom was supposed to be arms distance enough but he got attached to everyone there anyways. And then you came and he fell for you hard. It wasnt ever supposed to happen that way so he went all weird and denied it out of panic and nessecity... once you were in danger he cared for you so he had to go help you and you met face to face which was WAY more than he ever intended to happen and also exposed him way more to catching deeper and deeper feelings. But here he was desperately trying to do damage control because he knows that people dear to him get hurt or killed. And he loves you.. so as much as it hurts he has to try to keep you away to keep you SAFE

All of this is literal... like not just that he thinks hes a bad person and will hurt you.... like literally you are in real physical danger from being associated with him. And this is evidenced and proved throughout the story. And he blames himself for ever even letting you interact with them but like... the poor boy is human jesus christ he needs connection he needs love. It's a mistake he beats himself up over. And so he tries to damage control and get you to move on and forget about him. It kills him the whole time and its evidenced the whole time that he hates having to do this.

And the whole time the worst he tells you is he doesn't care if you get a hurt heart because you wont leave him alone when he tells you to. (Spoiler alert.. that's a lie! He cares a lot but you need to be safe from involvement in his dangerous life)

And the whole time I noticed its actually even an EXCESSIVE thing he does(it's a nice thing tho) that he does nothing but call you a good and wonderful person who deserves happiness and that needs to be safe and keep living because you are so good and so bright and so kind

But him and his life will never allow your safety, so you cant be with him for your protection.

He never stops with how nice you are... how good you are... how much you need to be in this world and be safe because you add light to the world.

Even when hes being cold.. even when hes telling you off

It's always centered around this.

As well as that hes "a dangerous guy" and 'cant keep anything or anyone close'

Putting himself down and lamenting who and what he is.

The breakthrough comes when you finally see the extent of him and the struggles and danger he faces and still wear him down and tell him unwaveringly that: ok you see and understand the danger fully now and you dont care and you want to stick by him even if its dangerous because you love him. And that he doesnt have to go through life alone anymore cuz you'll be there for him no matter what.

And you have to wrestle away from him the notion of 'no I cant let her do this because I love her and want her to be able to live and be safe. It hurts being alone and id love to be able to be with her but I cant cuz if anything happened to her I'd never forgive myself and also she's so great she deserves a normal life where she doesn't have to worry.'

And you have to lovingly assert to him that he can think of himself too... that he doent have to go through life alone because you know the risks and you decided you want to be with him anyways because you love him. That you understand he wants you safe but that was your decision to make and you choose him no matter the dangers... that you will help him and go through it together as a team.

And he struggles because all his life he had to be the action taker, decision maker, and the protector (especially with his brother in childhood) but slowly comes around to the fact that you will be partners... shouldering the burden together while enriching each others lives. That he doesnt have to be the solitary protector of things and people he has come to love despite not having been supposed to in the first place... cuz hes HUMAN. That someone else has seen his situation and his soul laid bare and still said I love you and I'm going to stand with you through this. And learn to let go and let them in and let them share his burden despite being so afraid of doing so and afraid of what could happen to them as a result. Accepting that they made their decision and its theirs to make. And dealing with the fear as well as the relief and strange joy of FINALLY having someone in his life to love and be loved by and to go through things //together//

Like I just dont get how ppl can like tsunderes and even yanderes but then this character is like "pls no ppl get hurt with me and I care for you so you gotta stay away from me for your own good" and they're like... butthurt that he wasn't all peppy and sweet like usual because his life and everything he held dear was legit crumbling around him??? That someone with his past and his current job/living situation took a bit before he could open up and spill his guts to them??? At a job where.. to quote the game itself 'even an offhanded joke can get you killed' ??? Like yall are entitled to your opinions... and thank god this character is fictional or else that would be hella f-ed up of yall but... oof.

[breadhyunn]

To Babyz, With love.

WARNING: THIS IS LONG AND SAPPY, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Let’s see, I got into kpop,what, 10 months ago? It doesn’t take one long to realise that fandoms play a very important role in this world. One bad experience with a fandom threw me off, and thus, up until recently, I stayed away from the fandom life. That is of course, till I found B.A.P and Babyz. 

Today is not only Daehyun’s Birthday, but also the day I complete 4 months as a baby, and a little more than a month on tumblr. 4 isn’t technically a milestone number or anything, but I feel very overwhelmed, because of how lovely this fandom is. 

I love how we’re so close-knit irrespective of being spread out all across the globe. Babyz are incredibly united in their love for B.A.P and it makes my heart warm. Never have I seen such beautifully crafted late night emotional text posts about a group. (looking at you @bapofficial) Never have I seen a fandom so involved and appreciative of the littlest things that our boys do. Never I have I seen such poetic meme and crack posting (  @bestabsoluteperfectcrack @bestabsoluteshitposts @bap-time thank you) 

All that aside, I want to talk about how big a source of strength B.A.P and the fandom has become for me. I’m a person with some pretty bad anger issues, and coming here instantly calms me down. I just think of the positivity you all radiate and it works wonders for me. It’s been just a month and I’ve gained 53 followers and I cannot believe how wonderful you all are. Babyz, you make me happy and I love that I share my love for B.A.P with all of you amazing people. 

I need to thank some individual blogs as well, so here goes:

@daehdream thank you for introducing me to all these blogs that I follow, you guided my first step in the right direction. There’s no doubt when i say you are one of my absolute favourite blogs.

@fae-hyun WELL I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’D DO WITHOUT THIS PERSON. She heard my despaired cry for help and became my first source to rant about the wonderful mess that is daehyun and B.A.P. Find me a wittier person than her, I challenge you. If Sal is a tree, then I am a Koala and she’s gonna carry me out into the desert away from daehyun’s assaults. I love you sal, I’m being gross but Idc. One day I’ll expose your love of puns to the world. 

@dreamermoonchan DANI HI YOU ARE AMAZING I LOVE YOU. I can literally talk to you about everyone since, you stan them all ;) She’s always giving me little encouraging words about school and I hope she realises that it helps me quite a lot. Dani, you are such a source of strength and you’ll forever be the reason Jongup has wrecked me to such an extent, I hope you’re proud. 

@jion-a here we have the very personification of Dae’s smile. You are so incredibly radiant and positive. Everytime I talk to you I can feel myself feeling a little happier. I want you to know that Babyz are your protective army and any time you want to rant, I’m here for you and ily tzi bye

@7tobap6 well we’re pretty much always at loggerheads but man I love this Daehyun stan. SHE WRITES THE BEST BOYFRIEND SCENARIOS ugh you have me weak Rosie. It is our life’s mission to wreck the other and we cannot be stopped. She and Tzi are my pun partners everybody, and I am forever grateful. We had a conversation about  B.A.P while using VIXX puns and damn it was a ride. 

@i-am-a-death-dealer well omg we have wayyy too many groups in common and pretty much think at similar wavelengths. It’s been a pleasure.

@zainbap you are on of my favourite people on tumblr. Thank you for letting me spill my BangDae feels on you, I’m grateful. 

I’d like to take a moment and apologise to @monsta-x-rae . I spoke to her yesterday and drove her away with my puns. I swear, I’m worse than this Rae, and I look forward to talking to you more in the future! (please help this child)

I’ve not had too many (maybe none) interactions with these amazing people but I want them to know that they’re fully appreciated and loved: @soooldout (I WILL MAKE YOU LIKE BLONDE L) @bangedhim  (the best url in the history of forever) @seren4moonjongup (this is a hilarious person y’all) @moon-yeup @anna-something (best tags ever I die plis be my friend) @roses-for-jongup (I look forward to more spazzing in caps lock lmao) @kitty-dae @daehyuns-noona @feelsogukk @best-absolute-pabos @daehyuns-beautiful-golden-skin (THEY SHARE MY LOVE FOR A BLONDE DAEHYUN WITH GOLDEN SKIN AND I COULDNT BE MORE THANKFUL) @bubbl3tae @youngjaaes (my fav yj stan) @bapsujusechskies @thediebutterfly (BANGDAE YES)

ALL THESE PEOPLE (and many more, I’m sorry if I missed someone) have made this last month a GREAT one. I cannot thank you all enough. I can now after 10 months proudly say I am part of a fandom and I cannot be happier that it belongs to B.A.P

With Love,

A very emotional Baby. 

[hisfatherwillhearaboutthisx]

One Step At A Time Draco x reader

Rating: Fluff Request?: Yes,  Hey I would like to request a draco x reader. Only of you still take them of course😊. It plays in hbp and the reader is dracos girlfriend/boyfriend(idc) and also a forced deatheater(you know what I mean?😅) And like all this stuff happening with Voldemort and now school and their mission really affects her. And many of her friends are worried about her, even ppl who don't like her, and draco notices it too and talks to her. So it's like fluff and stuff. And thank you of you have the time to write it 🤗 Warnings: NONE 0:)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I was made to stand in the dining hall at my house with my mother and father, Lord Voldemort entered the room followed by roads of thick black smoke signalling his arrival. I looked over to my father who reached over to place his hand over my shoulder. " Ahh Miss y/l/n, so nice to meet you again" his smudged smile being directed to me, I looked down to my feet avoiding eye contact with him at all costs. "It's time for you to join us... officially" he raised a hand to his wand which was immediately pointed at me "come forward child" his voice had deepened immensely. I turned to my father who wasn't daring to look in my direction "Dad? I don't understand, what's going to happen" my dad still refused to maintain any form of eye contact with me."It's time for you to become... a death eater-""one of us" Voldemort interrupted my Father as my Mother walked out of the room with her head hung low.

 A collection of long bone like fingers crept over my shoulder pushing me against the wall as long black ink ran along my arm creating a dark skull shaped stain.My mind went black as Voldemort kept talking to me. When I got to the Slytherin common room it was almost completely deserted; all except for Draco. he was sat in the large leather armchair closest to the fireplace, with a potions book in his hands.

 It was fairly late now so it was understandable to hear his small snores echo throughout the room. I glanced back at him as I left to go to my bed, it was so quiet I could hear the lake rushing past the windows but my thoughts were loud and corrupted, trying to get to sleep tonight would prove to be a travesty...

 ------It's only been two days. Two whole days, I can't cope it stresses me out too much. I forced my way out of bed, looking into the mirror only to see my swollen puffy eyes and my skin turning grey from the lack of sleep. I just can't sleep no matter what I do. It was only at dinner people started to question me; I was holding hands with Draco under the table when he looked over at me and frowned he saw I wasn't eating any food just poking it around the plate. "Y/n, are you alright. You look a bit ti-""yes Draco I'm fine..."I reached over for my cup when my sleeve pushed its way up my arm exposing my inked flesh only to Draco he was the only one paying attention to me fully, he was the only one who had truly cared. throughout my day people have asked if I'm okay or told me that I look tired and that I should get and early night tonight.Draco's looked deep into my eyes as soon as he saw the ink etched into my forearm, withdrawing my arm from the table and tugging down my sleeve, I got up and ran to my dorm, I couldn't let anyone see my weakness. not even Draco. When I reached my room so many tears had fallen, whilst I was running down the hall crying in distress multiple students had witnessed me cry, thinking about that embarrasses me even more. I buried my head deep into my pillow to allow my tears to fall freely.

 A rough set of hands latched over my shoulders pulling me to their chest upon realising it was Draco I instantly tried to pull myself together, hoping that my tears would just magically disappear, but it was hopeless he seen too much if my weak side that I just gave it all to him. I gripped helplessly at his robes wanting nothing more than for him to hold me close until it was all okay, I leant closer into his chest he smelt like lemon grass and home.

 A familiar scent that made me feel so at home because I belonged to him and him only."y/n, shh shh its going to be alright soon" he hushed me repeatedly."No Draco, it's not I can't kill anyone, please this already hurts too much I don't know how much longer I can live with myself knowing my parents subjected me to this and I let them, Draco I gave in." my sobs came harder than I had expected my body trembling so much that Draco's hand which had remained on my shoulder shook with my body."This is all my fault, y/n I'm so sorry I got you involved..." His voice lowered to a whisper holding me close to his chest and tugging me lightly into his lap."Draco, I come from a pureblood family, who are massively involved with Voldemort. It was bound to happen anyway, don't place the blame on yourself it's not fair" My crying had quietened by this time and Draco was placing small butterfly kisses across my neck."Y/n it will all be fine soon I'll do Whatever I Can to save you" and I already knew he was telling the truth we would stand together and protect each other through thick and thin. Sleep gently pulled me into its reigns and soon enough It was a brand new day.

 I was happy to inside my comfy bed sheets with a large tuft of dishevelled platinum blond hair next to me, and piercing grey eyes darting around all my features. "oh, babe you eyes are all puffy" Draco reached over to stroke my cheek carefully. "It's fine Draco..." I smiled up and him lightly. His hand dropped from my face to grip my own hand."Today let's face the rest of the world together"                                                                                                                            

[x] sorry that this short, it was a really good request that I tried to do justice but my next image is going to a lot more descriptive just to test out different styles of writing just to see which one works best. In other new tonight, I’m performing a dance cover of J hopes boy meets evil dance, I’m so nervous and yet so excited. xx

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 2 Confessionals

who is bryce and how long has he been on this tribe

so my daughter emma left and im the only one who stood by her side. i still have lexi on my side. hopefully adam, jordan pines (shocking) and jay. im mostly working with jordan and jay bcuz they might know lexi and i are friends. considering i was in the india reuinon chat and kicked from it on and off for weeks. also katie is in this game and i know she's bffls with adam, so i wanna work with him to keep that door open. and katie is also bffs with jordan so ILL GIVE THAT LITTLE PINES BOY A CHANCE

Me forgetting to make a confessional doesn't surprise me. Anyway I got an advantage from the wishing well thing and I'm shook that it worked to get half the tribe on call

I think I made a pretty good connection with Chris, especially based on the fact that we are in 2 orgs together. I would like to align with one more person and make it an alliance of 3, so when I get the chance to talk to Chris, that could hopefully be set up. I want to be a bit more straightforward with my goals in this org unlike in some of the previous ones I have played recently. I've been waiting for someone to come to me but maybe if I go to a couple people, they will respect and trust me more because I want to align with them. It worked well with Chris. Also everyone listen to this goddess sing: 

So, usually i don't make confessionals, because thats lame, but my boy RTP needs them. So what can I say, I'm a giver. Anyways round 1 is fine. I have a few different alliances, each sort of mixing with the other. I got a 1 on 1 of me and adam. I got a 3 person one of me Luke and Jay. And I think I am working with Ryan and Willa. Separately of course. Anyways i'm not too worried about going home. I just hope we win shit soon.

Okay fake friends!! No one though to inform me about the idol map thing JKDSFJK. I don't even quiet get it AAAAAAAA. I searched somewhere but don't think I got a response so I think I'm wrong. Also we won the first challenge yay!! I'm really scared to go to tribal b/c I don't think I'm in a majority. I want to make an alliance with like carson, charlotte, zachary, katie but I think its too soon??? But that's what people who wait to long say so idk SDDSHFSf. Taylor Swift's new song came out earlier and its so good. Its also everywhere??? Like on so many promotional things and ads shes really getting her business. The reward challenge is usually something I'd like but I finally fixed my sleeping schedule and its about to get ruined again probably. I'm so tired but I want to win. The wishing well is also strange. I didn't get chosen this time and no one told me they did either so yikes :s! Here's hoping things look less grim.

okay i really like carson. he's really fun and probably the person im closest with. I want to work with as well, Willow. she's a queen! WOO ill make a longer one soon i promise

Congrats to me for not being the first boot. That'll have to do for my first confessional I'll do a real one later Ryan please don't yell at me.

I GET SLEEP YES. Sad I didn't get it but tbh idc. I am SO tired and now I don't have to stay up. Gonna finis the Great British Bake Off episode I'm on and them I'll be counting sheep! Hope my tribe wins <3

I dreamed a dream that I searched for the idol apparently. BECAUSE I DIDN'T ACTUALLY DSFJKSFKJFK. I don't understand why I'm like this but I'm cracking up and apparently imagining I searched Churup HSFJKDFsKJF

Just occured to me that hosts see these live not at the end of the season so now I'm extra embarrassed SJDKFS

I love how we're doing every challenge I hate!!! We won reward tho and got another shot at the wishing well but I didn't find anything again lol. I am stressed for this challenge but hope their teams just like talks or something and gets kicked.

heyyyy im back! after we won immunity (bless), i kinda just.. .stopped talking to ppl but everyone else stopped talking so its fine and idc! emma got voted out and im PRETTY sure i dont know them so idc. i know willa so im happy they stayed over emma. then came the reward, where ryan slung a ball we had to catch it to open treasure chests, and we dominated ! (well not we, but the rest of my tribe), they got 4/6 balls and charlotte managed to open the chest so we won reward and a visit to the wishing well! at the wishing well, i chose #9 bc... it SPOKE to me, and... [9:15:58 AM] Ryan Palmer: Congratulations! You have earned yourself a task from the well. Once you complete this task to the hosts appeasement you may earn a special reward. This task may put you at risk if you complete it so make sure to cover all of your bases. The next Immunity Challenge will be one where you have to earn points as individuals for your tribe. Your task is to make sure you do not earn any points for your tribe, you must earn 0 points. In addition to that there will be a rule about talking in the chat, right after your tribe has earned points you need to post a comment of celebration in the chat. You may write whatever you want, but you will then be removed from the chat. If you complete this task during the Immunity Challenge then you will earn a special reward. If you do not complete this task you will earn nothing. [9:16:02 AM] carson: SDJKSDJKSDJKSDJK [9:16:11 AM] carson: Me being one of the onl;y people to not do anything during the Reward [9:16:12 AM] carson: BYE [9:16:34 AM] carson: Also Ryan ur giving me All Stars teas.... [9:16:37 AM] carson: *cvc [9:16:40 AM] carson: I literally [9:16:43 AM] carson: SFJKSDKSDJK GOD I HATE THISSSS [9:16:47 AM] Ryan Palmer: :) [9:16:52 AM] carson: THis is literally the Same as CvC SO i HAVE AN ADVANTAGE CLUE... and the challenge is one of the task challenges and these are my favorite types of challenges and im rlly mad i dont get to play!!! this reward BETTER be good... (also me not helping in the challenge, but still getting the reward sdlsks) and im having flashbacks from failing this kinda clue in challengers vs champions, so i wanna redeem myself and get the advantage! im still gonna try and fake like im doing it, by answering questions wrong etc, but then ill randomly celebrate in the wrong chat accidentally (while we'rei n the lead bc im not gonna try and lose this SDjksdkj) !! hopefully it goes well and im not exposed and we dont lose immunity. also, nor eal updates on this tribe. chris barely talks which im assuming is bc hes busy but still!!! idk who to work with, so i guess ill wait for a tribal?? kinda wanna get an alliance together soon though idk

Im gonna be bomb at this comp n here is why eg. Q: who won Bahamas? A: *me in 0.2sec* Zach won Bahamas!!!! Yes I submitted this as a VLconf too don't @me...

I'm good at puzzles??? But I'm not I guess DSFKJSF

My ADD made it almost impossible to keep up with this high speed challenge so I kept /leave on my message box the whole time hoping it would become an option to get points... man I'm a smarty pants and also now I get to sleep!

I am so stressed for tribal. I think I have something good with Carson and Zachary but I still need two votes hopefully Willow and Charlotte vote with me and we can do Eric or Chris. Chris doesn't respond to my messages ever so I'd prefer to do that honestly but idk I am just hoping it works out

Willow told me she heard Chris's name and im like "HELLL NAW IM NOT VOTING CHRIS BAI." I need Willow, and I need Chris, and there is no way either of us 3 are going to go this tribal.

So I talked to Willow and she's like "my two top allies blah blah blah. Anonymous blah blah blah" and I'm thinking to myself, "Why would you tell me that someone other than me is your top ally. You could of had me sold if you said I was your only top ally." Now I know there is someone you might keep over me." And I have strong suspicions that her top ally that isn't me is 1 of these 3: Katie, Carson, Charlotte. Either way, I am going to remember what Willow said if we are ever in merge together and I need to think about saving her or someone else, especially if one of these suspicions are in merge with us.

SO WE WON IMMUNITY! Even without help from Jay, Lexi and Willa the rest of us killed the challenge and took home immunity. I'm so happy that we won immunity because Willa was looking like he'd be the  next person to go and I kind of don't want that? I know it puts me in a pretty precarious spot with my alliance since they agreed it's probably best if Willa leaves next. If I can't save Willa at all then I'll vote him out but if I can save him that would be GREAT for me. I want to get closer to Ryan and Adam. Adam and I talked during the first tribal council and we're both pretty straight forward thinkers and know what's best for the tribe so I'm interested with working with him. Ryan is someone who I really want to work with and he's close with Lexi which means I might have to vote her out so that he'll fully trust me?? Idk we'll see. I've been thinking about what Ulta will do at tribal because if a winner from that tribe ends up leaving and then we swap and I end up on an Ulta dominated tribe...that's bad news for me. 

So I think I'll get at least one vote here. But I feel good with my alliance that they'll have my back. I trust carson the most, then charlotte, then zachary, but I trust them all so that's good.  I think  Willow and Eric are together but I don't think they'll be able to get chris and Katie on their side. Willow wanting chris is also pretty bad so idk I think I'm safe at least I hope so cuz I'm really starting to enjoy the cast and season!! Should be a 7-1 or 6-2 or 6-1-1 vote hopefully and then 4-4 at worst

we;ll.... we lost badly!! AND I DIDNT GET MY REWARD FROM WISHING WELL BC WE FLOPPED TOO MUCH... but that dont matter, tribals more important, and chris was the plan to go... UNTIL!!! today, eric told chris that chris was going and if he wanted to stay to vote out bryce. like??? What kinda crackedt world do you live in where u threaten someone to vote someone so they  can stay SDJHDSJ (also returnee alliance made between me/zach/charlotte/bryce YES.) so... chris snitched (king) eric out and so we want eric out now... bc hes playing way too hard. NOW HE WANTS TO VOTE CHARLOTTE OUT TOO WHICH>>> SDKJSDKJ. i see why he went premerge so many times right now. like... if you try something over and over, and it doesn't work. take another LOOK!! but whatever i could be getting bamboozled but the plan is to get out eric bc he blew up his game by scrambling with little numbers, and withholding info (like telling bryce that he should vote charlotte and he couldnt tell him why but hed give him 3 rounds of safety DSJKSJK...) hopefully im not being dumb and im actually right. (also im actually... strategizing and forming social bonds oh wow! survivor is actually fun when you play it.) lets pray for no blindside of me or anyone... and lets get through this! http://photos.costume-works.com/full/furby.jpg

i just heard carsons voice on live tribal council and like i knew he was in high school but omg he sounds like such a smol baby and i need to protect him