#full of ppl!! and there were no seats for me!! so i had to sit on the edge of the middle seat

[scionshtola]

i went to sleep early and didn’t even get any rest bc i was having college stress dreams

[pbueckerslover]

your camera roll as paige’s girlfriend ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

pairing(s): paige bueckers x female!reader

a/n: heyy guys ik it’s been a minute since i posted a fic and i apologize. school is kicking my ass rn but i’d thought i’d whip up something cute so i hope you guys enjoy this for now!! :’))

001. a pic you snapped of paige while she was getting ready for the epsys. you loved watching her get ready for any event she was going to. you’d sit there and admire her as she got her makeup done, and she didn’t even notice you taking pictures. they always turned out to be your fav pics of her.

002. night in w paige. she made you wear the matching socks because she thought it was so cute. you two played games on her playstation for hours while cuddling and talking about anything and everything.

003. a cute moment kk had captured at the beach. the two of you looking out at the view in front of you, all cuddled up next to each other just enjoying your time together.

004. you had countless pics like this in your camera roll. you always sat in the passenger seat while she would drive. she loved that because she could put her hands all over you while you were sitting there. you always held her hand as it rested on your thigh.

005. paige had surprised you with a picnic for your birthday. she always went out of her way to surprise you with the cutest stuff wether it be for anniversaries, bdays, etc. it was one of her favorite ways of showing her love for you.

006. one year into your relationship, the two of you got subtle matching tattoos. she made a promise that when you guys got older you could get something more meaningful. you knew she would keep that promise.

007. a pic you had sent paige as a joke but she loved it. you both knew it was true, she was such a golden retriever while you were more of a black cat. you both thought it was the perfect way to describe you two.

008. a pic you snapped of paige during practice. you loved when she would pose for the camera especially cause it meant she was paying her full attention to you. again, you had numerous pictures like this from multiple diff occasions. you loved taking pictures of your beautiful girlfriend any chance you could.

009. you somehow convinced paige to do this trend you were seeing all over tiktok. when you brought it up she surprisingly agreed quickly. you giggled the whole time you were wrapping the bow around her bicep while she would admire you. she loved when you would do dumb shit like that with her and it honestly made her love for you grow more.

⇾ be sure to checkout my masterlist if you enjoyed! any type of interaction is appreciated :,)

⇾ i’ve seen a couple ppl do this and i thought it was sooo cute!! i hope you guys liked it! lmk if i should do it with anyone else cause i would love to!! again ty for being patient with me i am working on a couple drafts rn so i hope to have a fic out by this weekend. i love y’all 🤍🤍

[ssaluv-a-lot]

Woke up at 2 am thinking about this…

A/N: This might be the best thing Ive ever done. 18 plussss, deadass. No Minors 💁🏽‍♀️ Grown ppl enjoy.

Oh shit…You should be home right now. You should be home in bed with your man but instead you were out and tipsy and yet the thought of Fontaine pulling up to air the place out was enough to sober you up. On wobbly legs, you carried yourself out of the club and fished your phone out your purse.

4 missed calls, 2 FaceTimes, and hella text messages. You were so fucked.

It wasn’t even a full second after you pressed the screen to call him back that you heard the bass boosted rnb coming from his Pontiac. Then it was his rumbling engine and beaming headlights that swung around the corner.

Fontaine didn’t even wait until the car was rightfully parked before he climbed out and stalked towards you, scowl permanently etched onto his features.

“Baby, i’m so fucking sorry.” You reached out for him, grabbing hold of his jacket.

He pried your hands from his jacket and grumbled a stern. “Get in the car.”

“Fontaine!” You whined, tripping over your heels to grab him again.

“Get in the fuckin car! I ain’t playin wit you!” He shouted, gripping your arm up and forcing you towards the vehicle while you continued to apologize.

He climbed into the driver’s seat with a huff as you buckled your own seatbelt.

The drive was silent and the tension thick. You knew that once you got home, he would be on you about staying out late, getting drunk without a ride. The whole nine yards on safety.

You didn’t even need to mention the fact that every one knew you were his girl and that so much as a flirty comment would get them in big trouble.

The car rumbled to a stop in front of your home and a heavy sigh released itself from Fontaine’s chest.

“When we get in that house, ion wanna hear shit about how sorry you are. Ion give a fuck. You get your ass up to that room and wait.”

You nodded your head as a shiver tingled at your spine. Then, his rough hand was gripping your cheeks, tilting your head every which way.

“Nobody touched you up in there right? You ain’t hurt?” He loosened his grip as it seemed you went untouched as long as you were out.

“No..” A smile crept across your glossy lips as you realized he wasn’t really mad at you, just worried since you didn’t answer his calls

“Don’t lie to me just cause you think I’m already pissed.”

“No, Fontaine. Nobody did anything. I just danced and shit.”

The man sucked his teeth as he climbed out of the car, going around the front to open your door.

Once inside the house, you wasted no time getting up stairs and sitting on the bed as his heavy foot steps followed.

“Strip outta them clothes.” He ordered as the bedroom door clicked shut behind him and he kicked off his shoes.

You scrambled out of your top, tossing it somewhere. Out of your bra, tossing it someplace else. And then, you fumbled with your skirt before it pooled at your feet, leaving you in your panties, looking up at him as he loomed over you.

“Now how come when you think you getting some dick, you can listen to me but when I tell you to come home before midnight, you ain’t got a damn clue?”

“I-“ The words got stuck in your throat as he aired you out.

“Hm.” Fontaine scoffed, shrugging off his bomber and pulling his hoodie over his head, leaving him in his gold chain and a pair of low hanging sweats. “Hands and knees.”

“Fontaine!” You whined. “Please?”

“Nah come on. Don’t make me fix you my self.”

You huffed as you turned yourself into the position and pressed your body into the sheets. The impact came almost instant, the burning sting as he cracked a palm to your right ass cheek.

Your eyes squeezed shut as a yelp caught in your throat. Another resounding smack to your ass as he mumbled to himself. Something about you tripping and acting like you ain’t know better.

His monologue must’ve really started to piss him off because the next impact of his calloused hands had you gripping the sheets as a squeal released from your mouth.

“M sorry, Taine..” You mumbled, turning your head to look back at him as he stroked your burning skin.

“Mhmm.” Another crack of his palm against and then he was pulling at your panties, tugging them down to the fold of your knees as a finger slipped between your legs and through your slickened folds. “All that complaining and you wet any damn way.”

Your brows knitted together as he swiped his fingers across your pussy, brushing your clit and circling your entrance, then back up to your clit to rub firm circles into the bud.

“Fontaine..” It came out breathy and pleading as you relished in the pressure being released. “Fuck..feels good.”

“Yeah?” He hummed, squatting down to get a better look at your actively sopping pussy, wet and waiting to be filled.

The sight was marveling, almost making him forget what he was supposed to be doing. Your whimpers were music to him as he drew them out of you with rougher circles to your clit.

He brought his mouth to your ass, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin as you squirmed against him.

“F-fuck..baby! I’m close!” Your jaw dropped as the knot in your belly tightened up. You arched into the bed, ready for it to hit you any second.

At the last moment, Fontaine withdrew his fingers with a dark groan, leaving you squirming and pushing your ass back against him for more.

As the realization dawned, tears pricked your eyes.

“No! Daddy please! I-I wanna come!”

“You gonna wait. Just like you made me wait up for you.” He pressed another kiss to your ass and raised to his feet.

“But-“ Your words were cut as he wrapped a hand around the front of your neck and pulled you up to rest on your knees. His lips slotted against yours, his tongue dipping in and invading your mouth sloppily.

His grip on your neck tightened as he took your plump bottom lip between his gold teeth with a growl. “You know I love you right?”

“Yeah. Love you too,” Fontaine released your neck and you could hear the fabric of his sweats as he tugged them down along with his boxers, letting his hard erection spring free.

He pressed a hand to the small of your back, creating an arch that propped your ass up just how he liked it. Carefully, he dragged his blunt tip across your wet folds, tapping it against your clit until you shuddered and your toes curled in anticipation.

He pushed into your clenching center with a groan as he adjusted his hands to your hips and your face dropped into the pillow. “Fuck..” Fontaine tugged his sweats a little lower as you mewled into your pillows.

His thrusts started slow, drawing out to the tip and easing in to his hips until he was coated in your arousal. “You good?” He asked, fully sheathed.

“Uh huh.” You spared him a weak nod and he took that as his go ahead, catching a rhythm as he drilled into you.

His nails digging into your hips so you didn’t try to run. Your mouth permanently slack jawed as he hit that spot that made you see stars.

“Must’ve been out ya mind, baby.” Fontaine huffed. “Making me have to drive up there like that..”

“Ooh daddy..” You threw your ass back to meet his hips with eagerness, your orgasm crawling up your spine and making your head a little foggy.

“Mhmm. Ignoring my fuckin calls.” He cracked a palm against your ass, making you yelp and push back into him.

The dull smack of your skins colliding as he drove his dick into your greedy pussy was all you could hear. All the shit he was talking went in deaf ears.

“Fuck, Fontaine! Shiiit!” Your eyes rolled back as your orgasm rolled over you, your hands turning pale as you gripped the sheets tightly.

“That’s it.” He kept fucking you through it, not letting up no matter how much you whined about it being too much. “Keep taking that dick..”

A sticky white ring formed around the base of his cock, making the already slippery task of staying inside you, that much harder.

“I got half a mind to never let you out again..”

“Mmm..no, wait.” You whispered as he angled his thrusts to brush against your spot again. You felt yourself building up again, only the pressure felt heavier and much stronger. “F-Fontaine!”

You attempted to press a hand to his abdomen to slow his thrusts and allow you a minute to relax but your shaky hand was slapped away.

“Actin like you ain’t got no fuckin sense.” He pressed into your back a little harder, angled his hips deeper. “I feel that shit. You gonna soak me baby?”

“I-I Ahh!” Your pussy clenched him tight, keeping him right where he was as you squirted onto the sheets with a scream. Your legs shivering and body shaking as he marveled at the sight.

“Fuuck.” He pulled out of you with a soft smile, rubbing his wet dick through your swollen folds, spreading the substance across your thighs. “You trynna do that again?”

[leonsdoll]

NEW STUDENT PT.2

--------------------------------------------------

part one

plot: the big school field trip is finally here and you hazel share a room

warnings: none, not proofread but I don't think I made any errors:)

word count: 0.9k

notes:thank you fruity ppl for the attention on pt.1🌚this is again boring so:3 anyways this if the last chapter y'all but I'm write smth else soon!! anyways I hope you enjoy this lame follow up🔥🙏🏼

--------------------------------------------------

for every senior class there was a special school trip, this year your school saved up money for it instead of taking you guys to a cheap motel an hour away like they've done the other years.

this year you guys are going to Venice. I mean sure you're staying at a hotel with no heater or locking doors but it's better than what they did last year. the flight was an excruciating 12 hours of students screaming, singing and trying to keep each other entertained, but when you got there it was sorta worth it...

when you got to your hotel everyone rushed out of the bus making your bag fall into a puddle of water, already off to a great start. inside it was very fancy looking...but also old looking, the walls were cracking and it smelled like a creepy old neighbor. the guides explained how the rooms would work, they were dividing it in boys and girls with each room having a king sized bed.

"okay so everyone is going in twos so partner up!" the teacher explained, everyone quickly chose their partner, you looked around and saw hazel alone, the only time you guys talked was her first day of school, sure you guys did exchange numbers but no one actually texted first. walking up to hazel you were building up the confidence to ask her to partner up, you tapped her shoulder and she turned around looking you in the eyes before dropping her gaze down to the ground.

"hey do you wanna stay in a room with me?" she looked up at you and nodded with a smile, you both went to your room and settled down, there was a knock at the door before the teacher peeked in telling you guys everyone was going out to dinner in an hour, after accepting the invite the door closed leaving you guys alone once again, "so are you going hazel?" you questioned hoping you had an excuse to sit by her and talk more.

"i don't know, I mean are you going?" she asked her voice cracking mid sentence, "yeah I am, if you don't wanna go that's fine I'll just tell the teacher tha-" you were quickly cut off by hazel, "if you're going I'm going so uhm..." you swear you could see her blush just a bit. after a good twenty minutes of getting ready, it was time to go, you and hazel walked out and met everyone else down stairs.

the restaurant was again fancy but old, is everything here fancy and old? you all sat down at your assigned seats, you obviously next to hazel, the waiter came by and you ordered something simple nothing too expensive. as people started talking and things got a little louder you thought it would be a great time to actually have a full conversation with hazel.

you turned to hazel and spoke,"how are you hazel? you know you never texted me" she turned to face you and got eyes slightly widened at what she would call your boldness, "oh sorry I forgot I guess...but uhm I'm good, how are you" hazel let out a breath she didn't even know she held in, you were shoked at her full not very awkward phrase.

"well I'm pretty good, life is pretty boring but I think this trip is gonna be fun" you smiled at an attempt to add some positivity to the conversation, so it's not just awkward lesbians trying to talk. "oh yeah they have some cool art museums here you know? I think we're going to some while we're here" you were not surprised by hazel's interest in art, you chuckled at hazel's enthusiasm about museums.

"well maybe you could tell me more about your interest mh? you thought letting her rant about things she likes would keep the conversation going and well it did! for the rest of the dinner she talked about her skills and other cool things about herself, you learned she can build a very "small" bomb and knew taekwondo, who knew she was so interesting?. when you got back to the hotel somehow it was already 10pm, you both got ready for bed and got into your guys shared bed.

you kept thinking about wanting to do something, like maybe kiss her? or maybe just share your feelings with her? you didn't know what exactly but you just had to do something, "hey haze?" you thought maybe using a silly nickname would maybe show her you've loosened up, she looked away from her phone and looked straight into your eyes, suddenly you wanted to back out but you couldn't, I mean what were you gonna tell her If not that you like her.

you put your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around them, "I think I like you" you quietly blurred out, her eyes widened before relaxing them, "oh well...I think I like you too" she couldn't contain the smile on her face and she felt her face get hot, you smiled back at her and moved closer to her, "can I kiss you" you said so quietly it was almost not even a whisper.

she moved closer to you and gently put her hands on the sides of your face, "yes, please" she whispered back, you leaned in and finally connected her lips to yours, her lips were soft and warm against yours, after a few more seconds of a sweet kiss she pulled away, you couldn't help but giggle a bit and smile, "does this mean we're like girlfriends now?" she asked you, you thought about it for a moment before responding, "yeah it does".

[fapper]

full story of what happened in office hours 2 days ago and how i accidentally rizzed up the TA who is also my crush

*note: FAAM stands for "fine ass asian man" who is like, an acquaintance of mine idk

okay mind you this happened only 2 days ago bruh. okay buckle up cuz i cant stop thinking abt it 😭 so me and FAAM went to this review session for our midterm that was wednessday (i got a 75% btw) anddd i only went bc my crush who is also the TA was going to be teaching. soooo i came into the room and mans was sitting in the front so he didnt notice me, but later on he got to the blackboard and started yk teaching shit, and i made sure i was consistently looking at him to see if he'll look at me anddd i think he did like 3 times. not that many tbh anyways after review session we had office hours in a differrent room, so me and FAAM immediately head to office hours, and they have this annoying queueing system and there were A LOTTT of ppl in offce hrs that night, the room was full and there were only 4 TA's, and i only had my eyes on one guy HAHAHA ok so i mind u office hrs was from 6 - 8pm. i couldnt get help from him and i was waiting and waiting and waiting and me and FAAM kept talking abt him while he was in the room omfg 😭 FAAM was like 'wait so its him?' and he proceeded to point to the wrong TA and i was like, bruh FUCK no ITS NOT HIM DUMBASS like i think our behavior was hella obvious in hindsight bc we were literally talking abt him in front of himmmm bro 😭 FAAM was like 'you should go talk to him' BRO STFU YOU KNOW IM NOT! and i was likeeee 'what do u think of 'eagle' for my nickname for him?' (cuz he had a really big hairdo and it reminded me of wings ok) and FAAM was laughing and we were just kikiing like 2 old bithces bruh.

okay so it was 7:50pm. and at this point i was waiting for my turn to get help so i was literally on TIKTOK bored as shittt 😭. and i feel my crush stand up from his seat and slowly walk to stand behind me... and i was thinking 'aint no way' and then he says 'y/n?' (OKAY FIRST OF ALL HOW DO U REMEMBER MY NAME) and i was surprised at first so i jumped a little and he said 'sorry! 😭' and FAAM immediately says 'do you need a seat?' to the TA cuz we were sitting together and the TA goes 'noo its fine hahaha' but i told FAAM to be a wingman so he was insisting on it and so FAAM moves to the next chair and my crush sits next to me to help me. ight so boom

so immediately i start asking him questions and he was explaining hit to me and i couldnt focus fr. FAAM and i kept making glances at each other and every time we looked at each other we smiled real hard meanwhile the TA probably noticed all that shit HELPPPP I JUST KNOW MY CRUSH NOTICED ALL THE EXCHANGED SMILES ME AND FAAM HAD LIKE U COULD JUST TELL WHAT WAS GOING ON OKKKK!!! at one point when FAAM and i made eye contact and smiled i literally stoppped typing whatever he said and lost my train of thought bc i was trying not to laugh sooo hard bruh. meanwhile the TA is witnessing all this shit happen in front of him rn bruh (the TA was sittin between us 😭) so i notice my crush was starting to struggle in answering the question/ explaining shit so he started looking into the distance to think, and every time he got quiet i would look at his face and just look at him reallll good lmfaoooo omfg i kept looking back at his face while sitting next to him bruh. and one time when i looked at him, he smiled and closed his eyes and looked down like DAMN ARE YOU FR HAVING THIS REACTION TO ME LOOKING AT U RN? OMGGG so immediately i was like. ight he wants me. andddd lo and behold. my crush gives up and puts his laptop on our table and says "okay so im just gonna show you the solution dont tell anyone haha" *nervous laugh* meanwhile everyone in the class heard him and they look at our direction 😭 so me and FAAM laugh at this and when i looked back at the TA his face was literally PINK broooo.... im not fucking kidding he was blushign or something. and so as i was taking a pic i jokingly said "bro is about to get fired" and he was like no its fine and laughed it off. also hes just generally a nice guy like i had CHATGPT open in one tab and i said 'ohhh sorry not me having chatgpt open rn' and i closed the tab and the TA noticed and laughed and i said 'women in stem' and he laughed and said 'no yeah exactly' (i made the same joke the last time in office hours with him, he said 'i believe you' when i hinted that the hw answer i had was NOT INDEED MINE LOL) so i guess u could say i have that joker rizz the way he supports me and laughs at my jokes bruh. anyways after that i was like. 'thank you! *makes thumbs up gesture with both my hands* and he stands up and says something bla bla and i say thank you again and he makes the same thumbs up gesture with both his hands and turns around to help the next person.

bruh moment

do yall think he wants me? it was definitely not his normal or usual behavior, *this is random but his voice is so nice* and i feel like i made it really obvious that i liked him by joking with FAAM.

[destinyc1020]

Thank you! I think you worded it perfectly. Like there is kind of this lack of empathy for Zendaya because she is rich and she will be fine, as if law is not also very rich. But the fact he didn't tell her beforehand is really not right. I get it was impulsive but I can't imagine being Zendaya and sitting in London and going on IG at the end of the day and seeint that. She probably was panicking and thinking something really bad happened and was worried about him and also probably shocked and upset. And then after all that to see the viral hate train go against her on Twitter, ig TikTok etc, to have hate comments on her IG and law to do nothing until like two days later??? I get law is a dramatic dude but none of that was fair to her, when she has been so loyal to him and like he said protected her. But I really feel law was just in it for himself.

Like I said, we all love Law and have done so for so many years, so that's why this is so tough to say.... But sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I didn't feel like it was right at all for him to just totally blindside her (his biggest client and little sister) like that. 🥴 It wasn't right to do that to his other clients either, but at least with Z I thought they talked about everything. I guess not 🥴

Yea, like you said, I'm sure in the end she will be fine (she's Zendaya after all), and I'm sure PLENTY of stylists would be chomping at the bit just to get to be her next stylist (Personally, my first choice would be Jason Bolden since he's black and styles many high-profile celebrities), but that still doesn't negate the fact that the way Law handled this was just really kinda cruel. 🥴

What Law SHOULD have done (imo) was inform Zendaya and the rest of his clients beforehand that he was retiring, and THEN post it to his IG.

And in all honesty, what he really could have done was told Zendaya privately that he was THINKING of retiring. She could have given him some time off. Maybe he's still grieving his nephew's death.... that's all understandable. Grief comes in WAVES. Some days you're perfectly fine, and other days you're a hot mess and a bundle of emotions. 😔 Little things can trigger you (ie. a memory, a photograph, etc). Like, I totally get all of that.

But he could have taken a much-needed BREAK, maybe even taken MONTHS off (if he needed to), then he could have come back with a more clear head, and then made whatever life-changing decisions he needed to make (if still applicable). 🤷🏾‍♀️

I'm also still kind of miffed that he didn't just WAIT to post that retirement post. 🥴 He had FULL control over what he posted, and WHEN. This isn't like some paps photographed you one day against your knowledge and consent, and you had absolutely no idea some scandalous pictures of you were gonna come out to the public, so you didn't have time to warn anybody close to you lol. 🤣 😂

Like NO.... he had FULL CONTROL over WHAT he posted, and WHEN. 🤨

Personally, if it had been me, I would have deliberately waited weeks, maybe even MONTHS after the whole LV "no seat" fiasco in Paris before posting my "retirement", because now it just looks like you're retiring cuz you were mad and salty that you couldn't sit next to your client Zendaya at the fashion show. 👀

It would have garnered way less hate for his client Zendaya as well if he had just waited to release that announcement a little later until AFTER ppl forgot about the whole Paris thing, or at least after you and your client are seen working together on another event.

Everything is all about image in this industry, because everyday fans take little crumbs and run with it, creating a full on narrative, no matter how false it may be. 🙄 You have to ask yourself: "How is this going to look to other people?" 🤔

I just can't believe he let Zendaya go to London totally blindsided. 😔

He just didn't think of her feelings and mental health at all as far as I'm concerned. And I'm sorry, but I'm really just SHOCKED because that just doesn't seem like his character at all, but now I guess I know better lol 😅👀

If I were Z I would tread REAL carefully with him. 👀 I know I don't have all the facts, and of course I have no clue what they've discussed since then, so my knowledge of the situation is clearly very miniscule, and I freely admit that. But for him to basically say out of his own mouth that he didn't tell her (like, we're not just ASSUMING things here.... like, he basically said it himself) is just.... wow. 😳

He just showed me that when stuff hits the fan, he's gonna think about himself and himself only 👀

Idk.... like I said, I were Z I'd keep both eyes open, that's all I'm saying. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[ahdkshax]

saw a post abt how different people react to disability in ppl (saying that younger, alt folks are more likely to be ableist in the ops experience) and i didnt have any experience w younger folks giving me shit for my limp/sitting down (the most they would do is sit in places i would have preferred to, which i cant fully blame them for since everyone needs to sit sometimes, and its not on their fault that a grocery store only has three total seats in the full store)

but i have bad feet and cant stand for very long, and my shift i was restrained to a tiny box that i had to stay in for like 6-8 hours. my boss let me have a chair to work from, but i was nervous bc i live in a small town and it has a lot of the "kids dont want to work these days" attitudes. the kind that say if a worker isnt busy 24/7 theyre not doing enough and should be fired. but i ended up meeting up with the gambling manager of the store as she was fixing something in my area.

now the gambling manager, she was old, she looked mean, and had back issues--but she extremely nice and, most importantly was my number one voice of self respect. she told me that if anyone gives me shit for sitting while i work, i should give them shit back. make them uncomfortable with what they said to me.

and you know what? while i worked i got a few middle aged folks coming through making snarky remarks about how im "napping on the job" by sitting while i scan and bag their items (at a pace much faster than normal, most definitely because i wasnt in Extreme Pain while working). and i made every single one of them uncomfortable bc i mentioned that Yeah, its because i have plantar fasciitis in both my feet and i cant walk after standing in one place for, like, an hour if im having a really great day, 20 minutes if im realistic. yeah it feels like im walking on hot coals when i stand for too long and there have been several, several times ive had to make a crutch out of a shopping cart so i can make it to my car its been so bad.

and they squirmed bc these were working class people who worked in construction and factories and knew what that felt like and/or does to someone. immediate sympathy from these guys, ended up talking about shoes with them.

now that im thinking about getting a cane to help with supporting my walking so i can walk further with less pain, im gonna keep what that manager told me in mind, i think. of course, telling some people i have fucked up feet probably wont garner much sympathy if they havent seen someone else with it or have experienced it themselves, but im sure i can think of a way to be just as rude back to them.

[izzy-b-hands]

Rambling abt the half dream half nightmare that woke me up today below the cut. feel free to ignore, just need to vent it out somewhere. Probably going to include me talking abt Current Family Issues and Feelings so. yeah. TW for mentions of someone in hospital, death, religion, and overall family dysfunction lmao

I know that ultimately, right now, if something big and/or terrible happened medically to anyone in my family back in ND, I wouldn't be able to go see them. The money just isn't there (part of why I'm not going out there this summer nor are they coming out here at all.) I've accepted it, and I try not to think abt it.

That said, LOVE (read: HATE) my brain deciding a hyper realistic yet weird dream abt my mum winding up in hospital is the way to go this morning. Complete with:

-her bf refusing to speak to me abt it, and telling me not to bother going to visit her in the weird, somehow existing in both CT and ND simultaneously, hospital with a 'haven't you already been enough of a burden to her?'

-me staying in my grandparent's old house in ND, and for some reason that meant being wildly unable to get ready to go to the hospital. Finding my clothes was nearly impossible, but. all their old decorations were back up on the wall so even as I was searching for them I like. Didn't want to leave? As if the house would revert back to being sold like it has been irl, if i left it. Finally I wound up just stealing clothes from my grandfather's side of their closet (specifically his old 80s styled 'eagle on a tree branch' print sweater that he got forced to toss a few years ago bc it was becoming more holes than sweater, and one of his old, big leather jackets. somehow i found jeans that fit me, idk how considering i can't seem to do that irl rn but i digress)

-me showing up to the hospital FINALLY only for Noel Fielding?? to be sitting outside it with a friend dressed in what i can only describe as absolutely gorgeous future techno witch clothing. Unfortunately they were fucking dicks in this dream and scared the shit out of me by joking that 'it was so nice I'd shown up still despite the worst' and implying my mum had already passed. Noel did shout apologies as i stomped off inside and that as far as he knew she was still okay, but his friend is the one who handed me a wrapped in plastic, small, metal stool with a weird cartoon face on the seat so i could 'sit with her body, like sitting shiva, right?' (not like that at all to my knowledge, but then again my family has rarely to never fully followed any of the various religious rituals around death, we just. take the bits the dead person liked from them and ignore the rest, for better or for worse. Maybe that's just what happens when a family is a mishmash of various christian sorts from Catholic to Protestant with the hidden knowledge that actually, prior to ppl moving to the States, ppl in the family were Jewish but inter-marrying into Catholic families for safety-sake, and so any Jewish traditions used now are done wrongly and weirdly and in odd bits and pieces. At least that's as much as I've been told/have found out abt it, anyway)

-I proceed into this stupidly fancy and open concept hospital, to immediately find a hugr crowd mucking up the elevators (crowding the elevator bank and refusing to let others on.) That's where Con showed up, and helped me make it up the ridiculously wide, roundish staircases (think like. wide rounded stage steps, but for each level of this hospital), while also trying soothe me by telling me Housemate was already here and waiting for me, so were my grandparents and even Mum's bf (he promised to keep him away from me lol, it was v sweet in an otherwise filled with anxiety dream.)

-however, as we were struggling up the steps (also full of crowds, pushing each other around, so we literally had to hold hands and hold onto the railings and walls to avoid being shoved down the stairs), he kept hesitating on saying more abt mum. He tried to distract me by mentioning that, since I was here, the docs might want me to address some of my own health issues but that he wouldn't let them force me into any treatment i didn't want. Then he finally alluded to mum being in worse straits than I'd been told abt and said something to the effect of 'doing only what you can, not what she or others would expect of you' and 'not to set yourself on fire to keep someone else alive' plus admitting he was deeply worried my family was abt to force me into a big decision that absolutely wasn't the ONLY treatment option that would help mum, but it was implied to be the one mum's bf and my grandparents were pushing for.

-still dunno exactly what that option was, but just before i woke up i started hearing the latter part of the song Gethsemane from JCS (Housemate and I have been watching various versions irl this weekend lol), specifically the bit where Jesus dares/begs/etc God to see how he dies. This was accompanied by me finally reaching my mum's hospital room, and a stupid bright light emanating from it and like. Not to critique my own brain and the dream it created, but that was far too on the nose for me personally lmao.

-and I woke up thinking abt the call with my grandparents that I had on Thursday (didn't go super poorly but went. kind of weird and uncomfortable and confirmed again that like. they're happy for me being out here in CT, yet at the same time hold it and my happiness against me to some unconscious degree as originally outright confirmed by Mum in an earlier call her and I had like. Tail end of last year lmao. the main crux seeming to be 'why couldn't i find happiness in ND/what's wrong with all of them/why wasn't i willing to keep trying to make my life work in ND regardless of my happiness/don't i know how hard it is without my being there to help everyone whenever they ask/etc family bullshit')

And now I'm laying here thinking. If the Worst would happen for any of them, they would fully expect me to empty my bank accounts and do whatever else i had to, to get to ND not just to see them, but to help. to take care of as much as possible for them (mum and grandma get decision paralysed by sad/scary life events, my aunt is so uncomfortable with sickness and death she won't do hospital visits or funerals at all anymore for anyone, my cousins...are young enough they won't know how to handle it/won't want to, my grandpa tends to just shut down and isolate when things go to shit, and that's not to say that they all don't still get done things that need doing in these situations, but that they DO all usually need prodding and help and have leaned on me for that since i was a kid.)

And i would of course want to see them/help however i could, but. not to that extent. not to the point that I'd have nothing for myself, no money or help (bc they're not in a position to return that help or money to me, and they'd be so emotional as to likely be extremely offended and upset if i mentioned needing help myself.)

That said, I'm sick of silently daring them to watch me die just for their sakes, even tho i do still love them all dearly. and of course, that's entirely too dramatic but at the same time, Mum and I have had convos abt 'what if there's a shooting somewhere that we're at, how do we handle it, how are we attempting to protect each other' and Mum always says she would take a bullet for me, but she didn't protest when i say that I'd take one for her or anyone else in the family first. Last time she just nodded like. yeah. of course you would. so. Feelings, abt all of this.

If u actually read this full thing that was A. very sweet of u and i appreciate that u care abt my silly lil fucked up brain enough to do that (genuinely, I'm v grateful) and b. here is a pic of Nisha as what little compensation i can give for u reading this long ass ramble lol

[odnson]

Please, tell me more about literally all of the wips! What's cooking!

lmao oh gosh, what i have rn are like, very vague ideas and the docs are just full of lines that lead nowhere but….👀

1. jwds mafia

Before this, Joowon had only seen pictures. Dozens of them, featuring different angles and expressions, showcasing his subject in various types of clothing. Often alone, sometimes with his trusted confidante, but never with family.

Now, in the flesh, the first thing that Joowon notices is the slouch. Too relaxed and borderline lazy, and something he unconsciously frowns at.

literally what the filename says 😂😂😂 funny thing is tho, i have an ending for this and a beginning, but i completely have no idea how to stitch them together because all i have are vibes. just sth sth about jw infiltrating a rival clan to help hkh’s rise to power (pretty much the same with his motives in the show originally), going undercover but being busted from day one because lbr, he’s up against ds. but ds is weak to pretty men (canon) and lets jw do what he wants for a while, etc etc. this def revolves around the “love for jw but revenge for ds” premise, only that because i’m me, it doesn’t stay that way for ds ofc. it does, however, get messier and messier, and i cannot go into too many details without spoiling it but!!!! someday i wish to finish this, like, fr.

2. jwds5+1????

Manyang offering him a seat at a table full of people he’d antagonized more than once remains a strange phenomenon to his eyes, but sitting beside Lee Dongsik and letting his warm smile soothe him isn’t.

i got the idea for this while otw to work so hopefully i can finish this in a few days?? pretty excited about this tbh, but it’s essentially about jwds gatekeeping the other from ppl because they’re actually a little too insane for one another, as we all know!!! (the show canon is just too good, really) i think this will be my attempt to be funnier but who knows, maybe this will turn into something else entirely? again, all i have are vibes as of the moment. 🙃

3. jwdsjj

A question now sits in Jeongje’s eyes the longer Dongsik looks at him. Dongsik wonders if he’ll ask.

Then, slowly: “How’s Han Joowon?”

Dongsik blinks, caught off-guard. He thought of a number of questions Jeongje would have for him, the millions of ways he could’ve phrased what he truly wanted to know: what is Dongsik doing here?

But this—Dongsik has to admit that he didn’t foresee this.

The name sparks warmth in him, as it often does. Underneath that blanket of fondness and security is something that burns savagely, and Dongsik feels unmoored, like Jeongje is prying into things he shouldn’t.

“He’s fine,” is what Dongsik settles with. A crumb of a truth is a truth all the same, which is all he can offer for now.

Jeongje’s gaze flits to Dongsik’s side, at the obvious absence of the man in question.

Dongsik sighs. “He’s at home.”

Something seems to hit Jeongje then, like an unseen force: he shifts in his seat, a small smile sitting on his lips. He looks simultaneously victorious and resigned, as if he won a personal wager at the cost of himself.

There was a time, Dongsik remembers, that he’d ache when Jeongje looks that way. When they were young and Jeongje needed him, when he couldn’t fend for himself and Dongsik was still the taller of the two.

this is actually finished but idk, i’m not satisfied with it so i never posted it??? it sits at 5.5k words and while it does start in a way i like, it degenerates to sth that makes me go “hmmmm wait a sec” whenever i reread so yeah. 🙃🙃🙃 anyway, it’s about ds reminiscing and revisiting the love he has for jj (while jj is imprisoned) and realizing that it just couldn’t work for them that way. sounds very sad, i know, but i’m operating on what the show has given all of us lmao. i have to reread it again because i havent touched it in a while but i seem to remember that it’s also about ds seeing just how much jj loved him; it’s just that the love they had for each other didn’t happen at the same time and it was already too late when they both realized it. YEAH. now u might be wondering, how does jw fit into the picture??? that snippet is one of the many ways he does. 😂😂 (and just in case someone’s curious: no, it doesn’t end in a threesome. had i been capable of pwp, it def would’ve but alas.)

anyway this got way too long lmao but thank you, as always, for indulging me!!!! u’re amazing. 💕

[gyahyahyahayhahayahyahyahyahyaha]

had two dreams

one was a horrid murder spree where one guy was killing everyone who would dare to interfere with the wedding party held at a house thats not even his own. and a wedding that also was not even his own. and the mother of the married party who bore witness to at least one set of these killings and decided to do her own for separate reasons.

the othefr was me wandering around a school building (i think it was one if my old ones i used to go to, wandering around listlessly and aimlessly just like how inwould when i used to go to that school. this time though it was dark out. i had been wandering for so long indidnt realize what time it. i decided to leave and just as inwalked out the main entrance i see my mother and my older brother approching. i decided to just walk away in the opposite direction but they caught up to me somehow. for some reason i got into thr car with them. i asked why hes here, i got answered with "we're going somewhere", i asked "where are we going" and i got answered with "you'll see when we get there".

insaid alright and opened the car door and took off my seatbelt. we were on the high way by then. i kept just doing stupid insane shit (like suddenly reclining the drivers seat or whatever disruptive shit i could manage) because i didnt want to go anywhere with him. eventually we got to the downtown area and i remembered in another dream a long while backi hd taken the train back from that area so i jusr hopped out of rhe car first chance ingot since we were driving a lot slower now and left them to do whatever. its not like they bothered to chase me.

i wandered around the city like i am wont to do. saw some nice plalces with the cities waterfront edge as my vague and general destination. ended up passing through a mall area into a sort of minintheme park thing. like those ones they set up in parking lots... there was a full sized ferris wheel tho... and rifht as inwas walking underneath on one of the ends of it i heard a nauseating cracking sound... it was the sound of of someone falling off the ferris wheel as it was rising upwards. the person was atill alive but he wasnt in good shape at all. there all these "splits" across various parts of his body and from between each of these splits, were like a row of "teeth" (the bones that were jutting out along each of the splits, it was like a panflute with some tooth looking things sticking out on the top if each hole) poking out. along his arms and legs. some olaces on his back and neck, along parts of his face and head. and along each of these rows of teeth there were a few "tubes" that looked like they were hollow inside cuz there was more than a few teeth that looked like they were falling off. this was yet another rare instance of blood beinf visible in my dreams

this time tho, it was all over his face and limbs like dried up like it had been there a while and in such tiny amounts. there was no blood pooling out from his many tears and wounds. anyways it took me a bit to even process what i was looking at. it was so sudden... i coupdnt look away he fell right in front of me. after looking around and seeinf all the other ppl just standing there i slowly stumbled my way over to him and looked up at the ferris wheel and saw who he was sitting with up until a moment ago. he had a cast on one arm. i yelled at him, "what the fuck happened" and he said something along thr lines of that theybweere fucking around and grabbed hisbfriends arm and lifted it which somehow lifted thr bar holding them in. oh yeah i should mention, this ferris wheel didntnhave the enclosed seating things dangling like how they do, it was just a roller coaster paired seating thing with the bars to hold you in. but each pair of seats still dangled like the average ferris wheel. i thought for just anmoment about how horrid a design this is and returned my attention to the man on the pavement, barely moving. i thought about what the fuck i can even do about all those teeth. i thought about the bone fractures hes probably suffering from. and even if i knew what inwas doing he wasnt really in a state to tell me about HOW his bones are broken. i didnt want to start moving him and have a loose or fracture pierce anything vital ornamythjng at all. thing is , that the ferris wheel seats that he fell off wasnt that high off the ground when he fell ornwjen i talkes to his "friend". which made me suspect him. after returning my attention to the guynwhonwas pretty badly injured i decided to lay him out flat and see if i could get any of the bystanders to do literally anythinf else like brinf me a stretcher and one of those boards for wjen someone has a bad spine or head injury. dream ended there

back tonthe first dream the house that the weddinf was being hosted at was very rich and lavish looking, and one kd the few reasons the mother was able tk survive the killings even though she got spotted by the killer was because of the tree enclosure that the killer was usinf to kill the guests at the house and obscure any eyes peering inwards. for the same reason that the killer had been getting away with it, he was unable to place anythjnf about the mother when he saw her aside from her wig. and he said so, "damn! ill have to find out who wiiiig that is" and set out to hunt her down. little did he know that hed never see that wig again. i dont remember if the mother killed him or if they both kept killing in unintentional tandem but many many many many more were killed. the guest who wanted to "fix" the party would just kill them jn a way that left s lot of blood spread all around but no visible injuries. just the bodies sprawled around like they were thrown into a furniture set and left like that.

the mother of the household had a very different way of handling things and an entirely different set of reasons. i dontnremmeber what they were tho........ anyways there were an obscene amount of murders that had happened until someone finally caught wind and decided to do something about it and inthink itnmight have been one of the children of the mother who was killing almost everyone. i think part of the reason they went on unimpeded for so long was because a lot of the ppl who were killed werent even wedding guests but like ppl with ties to that households work or associates or whatever. anyways they were all rich as fuck and indont remmeber whybthe mother was even bothering with this. maybe she saw it as an opportunity to "clean up"

whichever of the children decided to investigate, were lucky in a sense. they had no idea where to start or anything but no matter how much progress they made they didnt get caught by anyone because regardless of whether the mother was one of the killers or not they did everything im their power to avoid her. propbably a lifetime of living with someone like her gave them an edge in being able to avoid her. cuz again. even if she never took up the mantle of murderer, she still gave most of her family plenty of reason to stay away. if it was anyone else they probably would have been killed the second they started looking into it. and once again, not because of their relationship to the mother. or mabe... precisely because of the horrid relationship with the mother that any of this was possible.

i know that dream ended sometime around sometime after the mother was caught in the act. not only had she had been spotted killing someone by her child, but also by another guest. who the mother promptly killed. and the child was very conflicted by this because the person who the child witnessed being killed first and then the other guest who walked in on her doing all that, were both people that everone around them despised. so both the mother and child were kinda relieved about this. i think the child was bearing witness to this from like a set of bushes in the enclosure or from somewhere away from the house....

alls i remember about the first killer guy was that he wore a a mixture of light greenish-sky blue suit amd pants amd had one of those like 70's or smth news anchor haircuts. he had the stature of an air freshener that sold shitty cars. im not exactly clear on his purpose for doing all that he did but... for the most part its like i said before" anyone that would dare to interfere with the wedding" and that coulda fucking meant anything the way he was acting about it. and he would always kill his targets in the same way... one at a time. im still thinking about after each killing th e wedding showed no signs of being cancelled or anything like that. because there wasnt a single person killed who everyone involved with the wedding wouldnt end up knowing about their respective deaths one way or another...

[m1ckeyb3rry]

hii!! First of all ur theme is so aesthetically pleasing and I love all the nagi. I like binge read all of your event works and *chefs kiss*. Could I request a piece for karasu with the theme of like academic rivals/classmates? No worries if not, hoping ur doing well and taking care of urself!

On an unrelated note I saw that post about rude comments and im so sorry that’s happening to you! I honestly don’t know what drives ppl to bother leaving nasty comments esp when it’s not like they’re being forced to read anything T-T Hoping to send you a bit of love to counter those trolls!

── FIVE WAYS TO KILL A CROW

Synopsis: Crows are clingy birds, and Tabito Karasu’s feelings are hurt easier than you realize. (part two here!) (part three here!)

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Karasu x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 9.1k

Content Warnings: academic rivals to lovers, karasu is an asshole, reader is also an asshole, jealous karasu 😍, hiori randomly pulls up at one point for some reason??, yukimiya requests to follow one (1) person and accidentally causes the most dramatic pseudo breakup ever

A/N: anon i used to pray for times like these 😭😩 LMAOAO karasu is my fav (behind nagi ofc) but i’ve never gotten around to writing him so getting this request made me SO excited HAHA. i haven’t done anything rivals/enemies to lovers before so fingers crossed this doesn’t feel too awkward or unrealistic or rushed anything!! and yayyy i love my little nagi theme (and also nagi in general) i’m glad you like it too!! and my writing too, you’re so sweet 🥹 there will always be jerks unfortunately but lovely people like you make it all worth it 💖 thank you again and i hope this is kind of what you were looking for 🫶🏻

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.

ONE: POISON IT

You could hardly contain your smile as you sauntered up to Tabito Karasu’s desk, your exam held behind your back. He was sitting by himself — his seat partner was sick this week, from what you had heard, so he had taken the chance to spread out his things and stretch his legs. When he noticed you, he raised his eyebrows, mouth tugging into a frown at your amusement.

“What?” he said. You brandished the paper in front of you, irises sparkling as you leaned over to rest your forearms on the desk.

“I got full marks on the last Chemistry exam,” you said. Karasu made a face at you, snatching the test from your hands and scrunching his face up as he inspected it.

“Seriously?” he said.

“Seriously,” you said. “What did you get?”

He crossed his arms and looked away. “Not telling.”

“You definitely failed!” you said in delight, taking back the exam and laughing at him. “How embarrassing. You failed the easiest test of the year, and yet you consider Chemistry to be one of your best subjects? I can’t wait to see how badly you do during finals week.”

“I did not fail,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I got a ninety-eight.”

“Ninety-eight! That’s even worse than outright failure,” you said. “You were so close to perfection, and yet in the end, you fell short. It must sting for things to work out like that.”

“Yes, I’m positively wounded,” he said dryly before batting his eyelashes at you. From anyone else, the rapid switch in demeanor would’ve left you reeling, but the shifting mood was to be expected from him. “Will you give me a kiss and make it better?”

You rolled up your test and smacked him on the head with it. “No.”

“Anyways, my overall grade in the class is still higher than yours, because rankings were updated today and I’m still number one, so I’m not sure what cause you have to be boasting,” he said.

“Hm, but did you notice who’s number one in Modern Literature?” you said, pulling out your phone and opening the school’s app, which listed each class’s rankings in every subject. “Yup, that’s right, me.”

“Good job, Y/N!” he said, clapping mockingly. “Shall we have a party? It’s a big occasion — the mediocre number two has finally done something of such note that she’s number one for the first time in her life.”

“I’ve been number one plenty of other times!” you snapped. “For your information, I’ve been first in the class in mathematics and history every year since middle school, so who are you to be acting like this is a first? If anyone’s mediocre, it’s you!”

He raised his hands in the air innocently, his trademark smirk gracing his features once more now that he had succeeded in irritating you, as was his typical goal.

“Alright, alright, no need to be upset,” he said. “It’s not good for you. Clouds your judgment.”

“In what way?” you said.

“I mean, somehow, you got the two of us confused,” he said. “And we’re nothing alike.”

“I did no such thing,” you said.

“Well, I seem to recall you calling me mediocre, but between the two of us, the subpar one is obviously you,” he said, flicking your forehead. You slapped his hand away.

“You — the bell is going to ring, so I’m going to go back to my seat, but just so you know, you’re way more mediocre than me, Mr. Two-Percent-Short!” you said.

“Stellar comeback!” he called out. “My ego is bruised beyond healing!”

“Good!” you called back, ignoring the sarcasm. “Maybe it’ll return to a more normal size. Your head has grown too big, it’s almost as ridiculous as that hair of yours!”

“Leave the hair alone!”

During your free period, you decided to go to the library for some peace and quiet to work on your homework and find some of the sources you needed for your next research project. For belonging to a high school, the library was surprisingly extensive, and you had managed to find relevant information for every other project you had ever done in it, so you had high hopes. Unfortunately, it seemed this latest assignment was more obscure than anything you had completed before, so on your second lap of the shelves where the books, if they existed, would be located, you resigned yourself to giving up.

Just then, a volume caught your eye. The cover was shiny and pristine, the spine still unbent with newness. Crouching, you pulled it out, and when you saw the title emblazoned across the cover in bright yellow lettering, you began to laugh, making a beeline to the checkout counter with it tucked under your arm.

“Hey, Y/N! How was your morning?” your best friend said as you set your things down next to her in the cafeteria. You hummed in agreement, searching the room for a familiar head of dark hair. “You good? Looking for someone? Let me guess: your secret boyfriend that you’re keeping from the rest of us.”

“Yeah, I’m looking for Karasu,” you said before the rest of her words registered. “No!”

“You’re finally coming out and saying it?” she said, holding her hands to her heart and pretending to swoon. “I’ve been waiting for you to confess.”

“He’s not my secret boyfriend that I’m keeping from everyone, I’m just looking for him!” you said.

“Could’ve fooled me,” she said. “What do you need him for, anyways?”

“I got a book for him in the library,” you said.

“Right, and this is the guy you hate? Your ‘mortal enemy’ or whatever?” she checked.

“Yes,” you said.

“But you…got a book for him from the library, and now you’re looking for him so that you can give it to him?” she said. You scoffed.

“When you put it like that, it sounds different than it really is,” you said. “Trust me, this isn’t a nice gesture or anything. You can consider it revenge.”

“When are you going to get over this stupid rivalry?” she said. “He’s not even that bad, you know.”

“Not even that bad? Not even that bad? Are we talking about the same Karasu here? I’m referring to Tabito, not his older sister,” you said.

“Ah, I think so? He’s a nice guy,” she said.

“He is the spawn of the devil! And he’s the one who started it, so I’ll stop hating him once he apologizes and means it,” you said.

“Do you think he even remembers that?” she said. “It was in middle school.”

You glared at her. “I remember it. If he doesn’t, well, that’s just more of a reason for me to dislike him on principle.”

“Okay, okay, whatever you say,” she said. “Sorry for complimenting him. He’s awful and rude and mean. I think he’s sitting outside with some of his soccer friends, if you still want to find him.”

“Thank you!” you said, instantly forgetting that you were upset with her for taking Karasu’s side instead of yours. “Watch my stuff, okay? I’ll be right back.”

“See you soon,” she said. “Have fun. Actually, maybe it’s more realistic for me to just tell you not do anything that’ll get you expelled.”

You waved her off as you marched out to the courtyard where Karasu and his friends were lounging, their chairs positioned in the shade so that they did not overheat while they ate. None of them noticed you approaching until you were tapping Karasu on the shoulder and smiling at him sweetly.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” he said, sounding oddly flustered. One of his friends snorted, and more than a few chuckled, but you ignored all of them in favor of setting your bag on the armrest of Karasu’s chair.

“Hi, Karasu. I was in the library earlier and I saw this book that reminded me of you, so I took the liberty of checking it out,” you said.

“Oh,” he said. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“You’re so considerate, Y/N!” one of his friends said.

“We’re all so jealous of Karasu here,” another friend, the one who you believed had snorted, said. “You’re way too pretty for him.”

“Shut up,” Karasu said, sticking up his middle finger at his friend, though none of the group paid him much mind. In fact, it seemed to egg them on more, as they continued to hurl jabs at Karasu while simultaneously incessantly complimenting you.

You didn’t respond to any of them, instead pulling out the book and handing it to Karasu, interlacing your fingers and waiting for his reaction. At first he seemed confused, and then dismay dawned upon his features as he realized what he was holding in his hands: a copy of Chemistry for Dummies.

“What the fuck?” he said. You patted him on the shoulder.

“It’s only suitable,” you said. Suddenly, his expression cleared, and he beamed at you, which caused unease to brew in your stomach. You knew for a fact that he was about to say something infuriating, and you mentally prepared yourself to respond.

“What a roundabout way of telling me you need tutoring! Of course, I’m happy to help you anytime you want,” he said, tilting back in his chair so that he could cross his arms over his chest arrogantly.

“Why would I want tutoring from someone who does worse than me in the class?” you shot back, crossing your own arms in retaliation.

One of his friends whistled. “She got you there, Tabito.”

“Enough out of you,” Karasu said through gritted teeth. His friend winked at you and mouthed ‘nice one.’

“Look, man, all I’m saying is that if you want to ask out such a beautiful girl, you’ve gotta have a little more finesse than that!” he said.

“He can have all the finesse in the world, but I’d still say no,” you said. His friends hollered with raucous laughter, which caused Karasu’s face to turn red, but you only pressed the book into his hands. “It’s due in two weeks. That should be long enough, right? Make sure you return it on time, please, I don’t want late fines.“

“I hope you go into debt because of this stupid book,” he said.

“Aww,” you cooed. “You’ll be the one paying it off, so it doesn’t matter to me. See you around, Karasu — or, hopefully not.”

TWO: SHOOT IT

You and Karasu had met in middle school. The two of you had been assigned to work on a presentation together, and he had told you during your first meeting that because you were a dunce, you should just listen to him and do whatever he said. Ever since that day, you had done everything you could to show him how much better than him you were; for his part, he found great joy in getting on your nerves and so took part in every argument with pleasure.

You had long ago proved his middle school self wrong, by anyone’s standards, but at this point it was a habit for you to hate Tabito Karasu as well as a habit for him to hate you back. And of course, habits were hard to form but harder to break, so you would probably continue in that manner until the day you graduated and left him behind for good.

It was just the two of you who did not get along. Your friends were cordial with him and his ilk, and you did not really mind his little group all that much, crude though they sometimes were. After all, it was just in the manner of teenage boys, and when they were not taking advantage of your presence to make fun of Karasu, they were actually a pretty agreeable sort.

In fact, your friend groups tended to coexist most of the time, even having lunch together every now and again — though they were always careful to ensure that you and Karasu were kept entirely separate, or else you both were guaranteed to ruin the cheerful camaraderie with your sharp tongues and quick tempers. The measures they took were admirable, but unfortunately, they were not always enough. After all, what were precautions when compared with inevitabilities?

“Oh my god!” you squealed. “Guys! Oh my god, oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening?”

“Can’t believe what’s happening?” your best friend said, speaking for everyone at the table. They were all tuned in to you now, wondering what the big news might be that would bring about such a reaction from you, given how put-together you tended to be.

“Do you remember that one model I happened to meet while I was out last weekend? Kenyu Yukimiya? He just requested to follow me on social media!” you said.

“No way!” your best friend said.

“Way!” you said. The only warning you got was an arm pressing against your back, and then your phone was abruptly snatched from your hands. You gasped, spinning in your seat and scowling when you realized that the culprit was none other than that scavenging crow, Tabito Karasu.

“What the hell? He’s average at best, why are you so excited?” he said, scrolling through Yukimiya’s profile, his eyes narrowed critically. “Y/N, don’t you have any standards?”

“You’re probably the only person in the entire country who doesn’t find him gorgeous,” you said, exhaling dreamily as you took your phone back from him and stared at the artful manner Yukimiya was posing in for his profile photo. “He was even better looking in person. And sonice, too! They don’t make men like that often.”

Karasu frowned and swiped at your phone again. You held it out of his reach, reaching across the bench to press your foot against his chest, effectively holding him back from further attempts at thievery.

“Let me look at him again!” he said.

“Um, no,” you said. “I don’t need you making more fun of him. I know you’re jealous, but expressing it like this only makes you uglier, just so you know.”

“Looks like they’re back at it again,” one of your friends said, massaging her temples.

“Yup,” one of Karasu’s teammates said.

“Ugly? Ugly? You’re calling me ugly? Have you looked in a mirror recently? Also, get your gross shoe off of my shirt!” Karasu said.

“I have looked in a mirror recently, actually, and incidentally I’ve also been keeping an eye on my follow requests. Guess what? I’m obviously good looking, since a legitimate model wants to follow me! How many celebrities request to follow you, huh? I bet the answer is zero!” you said, though you did do him the favor of swinging your leg back, allowing him to brush himself off in disdain.

“Lots of soccer players want to follow me,” he said. “I’m quite good, you know.”

“That doesn’t count,” you said. “It has nothing to do with how you look. They’d request to follow you no matter how hideous and poorly styled you and your hair are.”

“Are they seriously arguing about which of them is worse looking?” Karasu’s teammate said.

“I suppose so,” your friend said. “They’re both really hot, though, so I don’t know what the big deal is…”

“Geez, they’ll take any excuse to go at it, huh?” Karasu’s teammate said.

“Pretty much,” your friend said.

“Guess all of that tension has to go somewhere,” his teammate said.

“Exactly,” your friend said, shaking her head as she finished up her lunch.

“That model probably only works for horror magazines!” Karasu said. “It barely even counts!”

“He was in Vogue Japan,” you said smugly. “Look it up, stupid.”

“So what?” he said.

“So he’s handsome,” you said. “Like I said, it’s okay if you’re envious of him, as long as you accept it instead of doing this whole weird denial thing. I don’t blame you for it — in fact, I thought you would be. You don’t have much going for you overall, do you? In all honesty, it’s only natural for you to feel like this when faced with what you lack.”

Karasu’s eyes widened, and then he stood abruptly, picking up his bag with one arm and haphazardly pulling it onto his back. “Goodbye.”

“Bye,” you said, not really caring one way or another what he did with himself. Actually, you would prefer it if he wasn’t there, interrupting your meal and your daydreaming about your impending romance with Kenyu Yukimiya.

“Wow, Y/N,” your best friend said once Karasu was gone. “You’re kind of dumb, you know that?”

“What are you talking about?” you said.

“It’s not her fault,” another one of Karasu’s teammates said. “He’s not much better.”

“Huh?” you said.

“Never mind,” your best friend said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I have a migraine now.”

“Want some ibuprofen?” Karasu’s teammate said. She accepted it gratefully, and nothing more was said on the subject. The rest of lunch passed in a peaceful manner, though strangely, Karasu did not return.

It should’ve made you happy. You wondered, then, why it felt so odd without him there, like there was a gaping maw sitting in the place that should’ve been occupied by him.

THREE: DROWN IT

Ever since the day that Yukimiya had requested to follow you, you and Karasu hadn’t spoken. He refused to make eye contact with you in the few classes the two of you had together, keeping his gaze lowered to his work and his shoulders hunched away from you. You didn’t even try to talk to him; something told you that it would not be well-received, and you weren’t anywhere near confrontational enough to bring up his odd behavior, so the time without him dragged on and on, seemingly without end.

At first, you were happy, and you told your friends as much. It was a much-needed break from the constant aggravation he brought you, and you found your classes without your competition to be almost boring in their simplicity.

“The more you say you’re happy that you and Karasu aren’t talking, the less it sounds believable,” your best friend said, taking a sip from her juice box.

“Believe it! This is what I’ve been wanting since middle school,” you said.

“Is it?” she said. “It sounds like you’re kind of upset.”

“Am not!” you said. She shrugged.

“Sure,” she said, drawing out the word. “Definitely not.”

“Why would I be upset?” you said.

“You tell me,” she said.

“I’m telling you that I’m not upset. You’re the one with the theory, so give me some evidence to substantiate it,” you said.

“Fine,” she said. “You talk about him all of the time, even when you guys are getting along — or, at least, your twisted little version of being friendly, which isn’t friendly by anyone else’s standards but it seems to work for you two, so I won’t comment further. You keep telling us that you’re so delighted he’s leaving you alone, but you do this thing with your face when you say it that makes it super obvious you’re not. It’s not the kind of behavior you’d display when discussing someone you hate as much as you claim to hate him. Finally, there’s a reason half the school thinks you guys are dating, and it’s not just the obvious aesthetic appeal of that match.”

“What? I thought you were just trying to bother me when you brought that up!” you said. She shook her head.

“No, it’s a common misconception. It’s why no one’s ever asked you out. They all think you’re already taken. Actually, the other day, a guy asked me if I thought he might have a chance with you now that you and Karasu had broken up,” she said.

“What’d you say?” you said, half in horror, half in fascination.

“I told him probably not, and that you and Karasu hadn’t broken up, because you were never together in the first place,” she said.

“Oh, okay,” you said.

“Should I have said something else?” she said. You shook your head.

“No,” you said. “What else would you have said?”

“Dunno,” she said. “Look, you need to cheer up. I’m sure that if you just try to talk to him, things will go back to normal in an instant. Then you can return to complaining about him like usual.”

“Talk to him? About what?” you said. She gave you an incredulous look.

“You were pretty mean to him the other day, Y/N,” she said.

“It wasn’t any meaner than what he says to me on the regular,” you said. “And what I say to him in return. I don’t see why he’d be more or less offended.”

“I think it was a little worse than what you typically say,” she said. “Plus, the context was different.”

“How so?” you said. She shook her head.

“That’s for him to explain, not me,” she said. “Come on, don’t be stubborn. Work things out with him. I miss hanging out with the guys.”

“Ah, so that’s why it matters to you,” you said. “Sorry to say it, but I don’t have any plans at attempting conversation with him anytime soon. Like I said, things are finally calm and stress-free for me. He’s the one being immature, as always, so why’s it up to me to make things better?”

“Immature?” your best friend said. “You’ve held a grudge against him since middle school.”

“And?” you said. She squinted at you before pursing her lips.

“Well, I guess the two of you really are made for one another,” she said.

“What?”

The next week would mark the beginning of the swimming unit in PE class, which you were actually looking forward to. You loved to swim, you had ever since you were a child and your parents had brought you into the water for the first time, and the thought of getting to earn a good grade for something you liked doing in the first place was an agreeable on.

In preparation, you decided to stop by the pool after classes were over so that you could acclimate yourself to the motions of the strokes once again. The swim team’s practice had been canceled, and no one else ever used the pool, so you would have the place to yourself, which was just about the closest thing to heaven you could imagine while still living on Earth.

Changing into your school-issued bathing suit and putting your things into a locker, you tied your hair back so that it was out of the way and stepped into the steaming indoor pool deck. The water was a bright cerulean shade, the lanes split by lane-lines which alternated colors to match your school’s emblem. When you dipped your toe into the deep end, you found it was warm, not cold like you had feared. The school didn’t splurge on heating the water of the rarely-used pool, so usually, it was all but freezing. You supposed that they must’ve had complaints from last year’s PE classes, so they had restarted the heaters in order to ensure that no one had any cause to whine about the temperature this year.

For a moment, you just sat on the tiled edge, your legs swishing about in the water, the heels of your palms pressing against the lip of the pool as you closed your eyes and luxuriated in the tangy scent of chlorine. So lost were you that you almost didn’t notice the door swinging open, but the clang of it shutting was unmistakable. Thinking it must’ve been a confused swim team member showing up to a practice that wasn’t happening, you opened your eyes, your lips parting to issue a reprimand that died before it could take shape.

It wasn’t a swim team member. It was Tabito Karasu, wearing a pair of swim trunks and nothing else, his jaw taut and his fists clenched as he inched towards the water. He hadn’t even noticed you, and you didn’t feel inclined to announce yourself, so you let your elbows dig into your thighs, your chin resting in your hands as you observed him.

You had known that he played soccer almost as long as you had known his name. It was the entire reason he was so popular and well-regarded in the school, and an inextricable part of his identity, but until now, you hadn’t quite considered what that actually meant. After all, you only ever saw him in the loose, modest clothing of the school’s uniform, so why would you jump to the conclusion that he was so — so — well, you were loath to admit it, but he had a striking body, and, now that he wasn’t being all cocky and maddening, you could appreciate that even his face was of a similar quality.

Blinking, you cocked your head as he extended a graceful foot towards the first stair leading into the shallow end. Water splashed against it, and he yanked it back like he had been scalded. You could not help yourself from giggling as he did this once and then twice again. On the third attempt, you forgot that the two of you weren’t acknowledging one another and cupped your hands around your mouth to amplify your voice.

“What are you doing?” you said.

“Who — Y/N? I didn’t realize anyone else was in here!” he said, stepping back from the pool and straightening his shorts, though there was nothing wrong with them that required straightening. You sprang to your feet and walked over to him, leaving wet footprints in your wake as you peered at him curiously.

“I was just going to do some laps to ensure that I’m at my best for the swimming unit next week. Did you have the same idea?” you said.

“Something like that,” he said.

“What’s with that whole ritual, though?” you said. “It’s not that cold. You should just get in.”

“Definitely not,” he said. You furrowed your brow.

“Okay,” you said. “Why are you at the pool, then, if you don’t want to go in the water?”

“It’s nothing you need to be concerned with!” he said. “Why are you so nosy? Just go away.”

“I was here first,” you said.

“Fine,” he said, spinning on his heel. “I’ll go, then.”

“Wait! Karasu, wait,” you said, grabbing onto his wrist as he made to leave. “Look, we don’t have to talk to one another or anything. We’re experienced enough at ignoring each other, so there’s not an issue in both of us being here.”

“Is that what you want?” he said.

“Yeah, sure,” you said. He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing, and you thought he would say something, but he only nodded curtly.

“Fine,” he said. You gave him an expectant look, but he did not move from the spot he was rooted in, so you thought that you might as well take the initiative. Looping around to the deep end, you inhaled and then dove into the water headfirst, staying under for as long as you could before finally surfacing and allowing yourself to settle into the familiar undulations that came with swimming.

After a few laps, you took a break, peeking up over the concrete to look at Karasu, who was still standing stubbornly in place, his nose wrinkling whenever he glanced at the pool.

“Hey,” you said. “Are you scared of the water or something?”

He froze. “Who told you that?”

“No one?” you said. “It’s pretty easy to tell as an onlooker. Were you planning on trying to get over your fear by coming to swim when no one was here? That’s dangerous if you don’t know how. You could drown.”

“I’m not scared of the water,” he said.

“Really? Then why’re you just standing there?” you said. His mouth opened and closed a few times, and then finally he hung his head in reluctant defeat.

“Whatever,” he said. Judging by the way he tensed immediately after the confession, he was expecting you to say something cruel, but you only boosted yourself out of the water and tapped him on the shoulder.

“I can help you, if you’d like,” you said. “I’m good at swimming.”

“Why would I want your help? And why would you even offer it in the first place? This is just one more subject you can beat me in, and that’s all you care about, so save it,” he said. “Congratulations, Y/N. You get to be number one this time.”

He looped a dry towel around his neck and left you standing alone, shivering and dripping pool water, a puddle forming around your feet as you gazed at the door he had vanished through.

The class rankings updated again after the swimming unit was over. You were in first place. Karasu didn’t even make it to the top ten. You wanted to celebrate the victory — it was the first time you had beaten him so thoroughly, after all — but for some reason, it didn’t really feel like something worth celebrating.

FOUR: STONE IT

School without Karasu was lonelier than you thought it would be. You hadn’t realized just how much you relied on him until he wasn’t there anymore. Without him, there wasn’t anyone you could exchange looks with across the room when somebody said something ridiculous in class. There wasn’t anyone who you could talk to in the minutes before the period began. There wasn’t anyone who made you push yourself to be better. What was the point of being first if Karasu wasn’t on your heels, ensuring that you stayed on the top for fear of losing to him? It was boring and lonely to try if he wasn’t doing the same.

You and he were still one and two, but it didn’t matter much anymore. The rankings were just numbers. They didn’t mean anything when Karasu still refused to even exchange pleasantries with you. Why would you want to compete when the other party didn’t share your interest? Now, if you managed to pull out ahead of him, it felt more like you had kicked a dog that was already down than if you had actually won anything. When he got first over you, it didn’t fuel your ambition any. You just wished he would come over and gloat instead of sitting there so solemnly, like none of it had ever mattered to him in the first place.

You couldn’t understand why he was so angry. What had you said that was so egregious? You hardly remembered the conversation you had had with him, it was that thoughtlessly done. You really hadn’t meant much if anything by it. One second, the two of you had been squabbling as you were prone to doing, and the next, he was so furious that he couldn’t bear to interact with you even still.

The day you were ambushed was nondescript. It was just like any other Wednesday, and you were walking back home from school when you were forced to stop in your tracks. A tall man — no, he was a boy, probably a year or two younger than you based on his soft and innocent expression — was barring your way, his arms outstretched and feet planted firmly in the ground to prove the depth of his conviction. He had pale hair and sky-colored eyes framed by the longest eyelashes you had ever seen on anyone, man or woman, with a small mouth pinched into an expression of discontent and lines like tire tracks between his eyebrows.

“Who are you?” you said warily, reaching for your phone, though you hardly knew who you would call. The setting was wrong for this to be a mugging, as it was sunny out and you were on a well-traveled street, but you didn’t really know what else to expect from the stranger, who could certainly outmuscle you if it came to it despite his lovely appearance.

“Yo Hiori,” he said. “I play on Bambi Osaka with Karasu. You’re Y/N L/N, correct?”

“Oh, one of the soccer guys?” you said. “Uh, hey. Yes, that’s me. Is something the matter? I’ve never seen you before. How do you even know who I am?”

“I’ve been watching Karasu for a while,” Hiori said with the utmost of seriousness, his hands dropping to his sides now that he was sure you weren’t going to run past him. “He’s a pretty fascinating person.”

“I’m sure,” you said, thinking to yourself that this Hiori kid was more than a little weird. Did Karasu know that he had acquired such a shadow? You supposed he must’ve. He had always been the observant type, so there was no way someone like Hiori would’ve escaped his keen notice.

“He’s been kind of down in the dumps recently, though. Even our coach noticed it. His playing hasn’t suffered too dramatically, but he’s the captain of the team, so he’s the guy everyone relies on for a funny pep talk or a word of advice when things are going south. Nowadays, however, when he’s off the field, he just sulks,” Hiori explained.

“I see,” you said. “That’s terrible.”

You meant it, too. Karasu without his asshole quips and ready jokes was a different person entirely. A person who you missed more than you could let on, even to yourself.

“It is,” Hiori said. “I took it upon myself to do some digging, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason is you.”

He was definitely a freak. You vowed to bring it up with Karasu, if he ever talked to you again. Even if he was already aware, it felt like a moral or civic duty of yours to ensure that he was fully informed about the extent that this child was inquiring into his life.

“What kind of, uh, digging do you mean?” you said, neatly avoiding the second thing he had said.

“It was pretty simple,” Hiori said. “One of the guys asked Karasu if he was acting off because he broke up with his girlfriend or something, and he got so mad that he left practice early. I opened up social media as soon as I got home and saw that you’re the only girl he follows, so by process of elimination, I figured the two of you were having some trouble in your relationship.”

“Relationship? I think you’re misunderstanding,” you said. “There’s no relationship. You could hardly even consider us friends.”

“Oh!” Hiori said. “I’m sorry. He’s mentioned you once or twice, so I just thought — and given what he said — and his reaction and all — no, I really am just sorry. It was wrong of me to make that assumption in the first place.”

“It’s alright,” you said. “I’m told it’s a relatively common misconception, so I can’t blame you. At least, it used to be. We haven’t really spoken in a while, so I guess everything thinks that it’s over, even though it never began in the first place.”

“You haven’t spoken in a while?” Hiori said. “Why not?”

“I think I said something that offended him, and we haven’t been on good terms since. Not that we ever really were in the first place,” you said.

“You did? He’s a pretty rational person, so it must’ve been something terrible for him to still be angry about it,” Hiori said.

“Maybe, but I don’t remember saying anything like that,” you said.

“What if you tell me how your last conversation went? Maybe I can help you,” he said.

“Sure, since you’re apparently the resident Karasu expert,” you said. “Wanna walk with me? I was heading home, but we can go to the convenience store and get some snacks or something instead. I don’t want to get in trouble for standing around in front of some random person’s house for too long.”

“Sounds good,” Hiori said. “There’s one a couple of minutes away, so we can head in that direction and keep talking as we go.”

“Great,” you said. “Okay, so the last time we talked…I think it was when Kenyu Yukimiya requested to follow me.”

“Who’s that?” Hiori said.

“He’s this model I met while I was shopping one day. Absolutely breathtaking,” you said. “Just really a stand-up guy. We’ve hung out a few times since then, he introduced me to the girlfriend I did not know he had, the works.“

“Yikes, unrequited love?” Hiori said with a wince.

“It was more of a celebrity crush. His girlfriend is super sweet, though, so I can’t complain. Anyways, I would consider them both casual acquaintances. The type you call to have a coffee with, but not the ones that help you move into a new apartment, you know?” you said.

“Uh, sure,” Hiori said in a tone which suggested he had no idea what you were talking about but was too scared to inquire further.

“Moving on, Yukimiya requested to follow me, and of course this was at the peak of my celebrity crush, so I started fawning over him, which prompted Karasu to take my phone and start insulting him,” you said.

“Interesting,” Hiori said.

“Then I called him ugly, and he called me ugly — that’s pretty standard for the two of us, so don’t look so shocked! After that, I said something about how I had expected him to be jealous of Yukimiya, since he didn’t have much going for him overall, so it made sense,” you said. “That’s when he left and things got weird.”

“Okay, I think I get it,” Hiori said. You waited for him to explain further. He smiled at you pleasantly.

“Right, so are you going to share with the class or am I meant to read your mind?” you said after a moment.

“I don’t want to give anything away that I shouldn’t,” he said. “But it’s a pretty simple issue to fix. Try thinking about what you said from his perspective.”

“He has a dumbass perspective. It’s impossible for me to think that way,” you said automatically.

“Do you think that he dislikes you?” Hiori said, taking two bottles of Yakult down from the shelf, handing one to you and keeping the other for himself.

“I’m not really sure how he feels about me, to tell you the truth,” you said.

“I don’t think he does,” Hiori said. “So, try thinking about someone you like and then imagine them saying to you what you said to them. Would you be inclined to be nice to them after that?”

“Well…” Your tongue was heavy and leaden in your mouth, and you ducked your head as you searched through your wallet for money. “No, not at all. I’d probably hate them for a really long time. Maybe forever.”

“That’s possible,” he said.

“Do you think he’ll hate me forever?” you said.

“Most likely not. Like I said earlier, he’s a rational person. I think that if you say sorry and sincerely mean it, he’ll forgive you. There’s a chance he won’t, though; you’ll have to listen to what he says and accept it,” Hiori said.

“But when? I hardly have the chance to see him in school. He just avoids me, and the building’s so big that it’s all but impossible to track him down!” you said.

“We have a soccer game in the evening today,” Hiori said. “I’m heading over there in a bit. Wanna come? You can talk to him once it’s over.”

“Am I allowed to?” you said.

“Why wouldn’t you be?” Hiori said. “If anyone says anything, just tell them I invited you. Here, I’ll give you the address and time now, and you can decide if you want to show up.”

“Okay,” you said, typing out his instructions in your notes app. “Thanks a lot for your help, Hiori.”

“Anytime!” he said. “Hope to see you at the game!”

“Even if I don’t go, I’d still like to meet you again. You’re a pretty cool kid,” you said, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “Kind of weird, if I’m being fully honest, but cool nonetheless. Karasu’s lucky to have a teammate like you.”

He grinned, and it was a tender, shy thing, as if he was earnestly seeking your praise or approval — like how a cat would bring a dead rat to its master or a child would show their parents a treasured drawing. “Thank you. Even if you don’t try to talk to Karasu…maybe you can still come anyways?”

“Alright, then,” you said. “Since you asked so nicely, I guess I have to. I’ll be there.”

FIVE: TAME IT

The sun was nearing the horizon, but it still had not officially begun to set by the time you settled in the bleachers on Bambi Osaka’s side. Besides a couple of women your mother’s age and an elderly man who must’ve been someone’s grandfather, there weren’t any other spectators. Hiori had mentioned that this wasn’t a particularly serious game, as they didn’t even need to beat the team to make it to Nationals, so it was more like a friendly exhibition game than anything — hence the low turnout.

“Hello, dear,” a woman said when she noticed you sitting by yourself. “Are you friends with one of the players?”

“Yes. Um, Tabito Karasu? I’m his classmate,” you said. Technically, you were there on Hiori’s goodwill, not Karasu’s, but for you to not mention Karasu would be like a betrayal. You weren’t sure if it was him or yourself that you’d be betraying, but either way you did not want to chance it.

“You’re one of Karasu’s friends? Lucky you, then,” she said. “He’s a delightful boy, or so I’ve heard. This is my son’s first year on the team, and he was really nervous to join such a prestigious organization, but ever since his first day, all he can talk about is how amazing his captain is. Karasu’s tough on all of the players, but he really works hard to make all of them feel welcomed, too.”

Bambi Osaka’s team took the field, and you smiled when you saw Karasu in the front, his name across the back of his jersey, a pair of black gloves covering his large hands, an insolent leer on his face as he greeted the other team’s captain. He had not noticed you yet, and you were not sure if this was for the better or worse, because you wanted him to see you, but you didn’t want him to be distracted and play poorly as a result.

“He’s a wonderful person,” you agreed. “He’s the only one in the entire school who can keep up with me, academically or otherwise. I didn’t realize until recently how much I admire him for that.”

The woman’s eyes crinkled around the corners with the ease that came from a lifetime of happiness. For some reason, you thought that she knew something you did not, or could not, but it wasn’t uncomfortable that she did. It seemed to you that being left in the dark was just your lot this time around, and you found that oddly enough, it felt acceptable.

“Is this your first time coming to watch him?” she said.

“Yes, it is,” you said.

“You know, he has this habit before every match of scanning the stands, like he’s looking for someone. I thought it might be his parents, but at the last match, just about his entire family showed up, and he still seemed disappointed,” she said.

“That’s a shame,” you said noncommittally, not sure what else you should say. The woman shrugged.

“Well, I wonder what it’ll be like today,” she said. “There he goes.”

True to her words, Karasu was craning his neck towards the Bambi Osaka side, his eyes darting from person to person until they settled on you. You raised your hand hesitantly, waving at him, knowing that he probably wouldn’t reciprocate.

He turned away almost immediately, but not before you saw him fight back a smile — not the smug type he generally donned, but one you had only ever seen on him once or twice. It was one that made him seem charming and boyish and sweet, that made you want to take back every negative word you had ever said about him. Only now could you understand that it showed who he really was, that at his heart Karasu was that kind of person, not anything like the facade you were so accustomed to, which he showed you for the sole reason that it was what you unconsciously demanded of him.

You had judged him to be horrible, and so he became the bane of your existence. You had told him he was good for nothing, so he disappeared like he really was just that. Everything you said, Karasu went along with gamely, and you wished you could’ve known that earlier, so you would’ve spent less time hating him and more time comprehending these intricacies, which entranced you in the way a spider’s web entranced a butterfly.

“Looks like I don’t need to worry about that child any more,” the woman said as the referee blew the whistle to signal the start of the game.

“Pardon?” you said. “Were you talking to me?”

“No, no,” she said, shaking her head. “I was just musing to myself. Ignore me. Let’s watch the game; I have a feeling that some of our players are going to go all out today.”

Bambi Osaka completely annihilated the other team. Maybe the match didn’t matter, but none of them played that way; instead, they were aggressive and focused, with Karasu at the forefront of every goal they made, commending his teammates and deriding his opposition in the same breath.

That was something you had not expected — he had a massively foul mouth when he played soccer. You had thought that he was rude when he spoke to you, but the things you overheard from him whenever he ran by within earshot made your conversations seem tame. You couldn’t help but pity the poor defenders that he shoved past and spat barbed-wire abuse at.

He was merciless and beautiful and you could probably spend a dozen more hours watching him play without even a trace of boredom, but by the time the sky had turned gold and the sun had dipped towards the ground, the game was over and the members of Bambi Osaka were packing up their things to leave for the night after yet another landslide win.

You snuck onto the field once you were extremely assured that nobody would be upset with you for it, making your way over to where Karasu was chugging a bottle of water.

“Hi,” you said when he was finished, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and tossing the now-empty bottle into his bag. “You played really well.”

“Thanks,” he said. There was impatience but also longing in his voice, like he wanted you to say something so badly but he knew you would not, would never, and so he would rather get the conversation over with and move on with the business of his life than stick around and waste time with you.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“What?” he said.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “Karasu, I’m really sorry. I don’t think that you have nothing going for you. I don’t know why I said that. Well, I do, it’s because I wanted to have the last word like I always do, but I don’t mind if I don’t have it this time. Or any other time. Or ever again.”

“What?” he repeated, as though he had been rendered dumb by your confession.

“I miss you,” you admitted. “I didn’t believe I could, but apparently, I can, and I do. A lot. I know that I’m unpleasant and disparaging and haughty when it comes to you, but I won’t be that way anymore if you forgive me for my vices one last time. If it means you’ll talk to me, I’ll be a fool. I’ll be in second place. I’ll be an idiot. But please, please forgive me.”

He took a deep breath. You handed him the bottle of kombucha that you had bought on your way to the game because you saw him drink it so frequently that you figured he must like it. He accepted it gingerly, holding it with the delicacy of a newborn, unscrewing the lid and sipping on it pensively.

“Alright,” he said.

“Alright?” you said.

“I’ll forgive you,” he said. “But on one condition.”

“Anything,” you said.

“You better not do anything as dumb as trying to be mediocre on purpose because you think it’ll make me feel better. What the hell is that proposition, huh? It’ll make me feel worse if anything! I like you because you’re unpleasant and disparaging and haughty and whatever else you said, not in spite of those qualities. I’m sure you heard me while I was playing…anyone who isn’t you would probably be terrified of me when I’m like that,” he said. “Just, y’know, I’m a person with feelings, too, so keep that in mind if you can. Oh, and don’t wait so long to say sorry next time, because it’s seriously annoying for me to feel all out-of-sorts for ages!” he said.

“That’s it?” you said.

“That’s it,” he said. “Hug?”

Ordinarily, you would’ve said no, but you were so weepy at the reconciliation that you nodded and let him embrace you, his arms caging you against his chest, holding you to him so that you could not escape.

“Ew!” you shouted when you registered what he was trying to do, shoving him off of you as he cackled and released you without much of a fight. “Gross, Karasu, you’re disgusting! Get away from me! I can’t believe you did that!”

“I can’t believe you fell for it!” he said as you frantically tried to wipe yourself off, though it was largely in vain. In your emotional state, you had forgotten that he was still drenched with sweat from the game, and you were now reaping the consequences of your poor decision making.

“You’re a bad person,” you said.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “Whatever you say.”

“I probably deserved that one, though, so I won’t hold it against you,” you said.

“Smart decision,” he said. “Wait. Unrelated, but whatever ended up happening between you and that model dude? What was his name again?”

“Yukimiya? He has a girlfriend,” you said. “Oh, well. What can you do, right? I’m not upset about it. Besides, everyone and their mother thinks I have a boyfriend already, so it’s probably for the best that it worked out like this. I wouldn’t want his modeling career to be ruined by home-wrecking allegations or anything.”

“It must be a pretty serious not-relationship you’ve got there, if it’s the career-ending type,” he said.

“I’d say it’s pretty serious, yes,” you said. “He’s an awesome guy. You’d like him.”

“I’ll respect it, then,” he said. “But…if you ever find yourself not-breaking up with him, then, uh, let me know. I’ll take you on a date somewhere. We can argue and reminisce about the day we met over dinner or something. It’ll be super romantic.”

He said it casually, but you were more familiar with him than either of you ever could’ve predicted you’d be. He was secretly nervous about how big of a risk he had taken, fiddling with the zipper of his soccer bag, avoiding your eyes while he waited for your response. You let the silence stretch on for a minute, just to make him squirm, and then you poked him in the ribs.

“Karasu,” you said.

“What’s up?” he said, and he must’ve been trying very hard to keep his cool, but his anxiety transmitted through the endearing crack of his voice.

“I have to tell you something,” you said.

“Go ahead,” he said.

“I’m not-single now,” you said. “So. Will you take me on a date this weekend?”

He lit up, so bright that you were all but blinded by the brilliance of his joy. Then he cleared his throat and pretended to check the non-existent watch on his wrist.

“You’re in luck,” he said. “That works for me. I’ll pick you up on Saturday for dinner.”

“Great,” you said. “I look forward to it.”

“Hold on, don’t go just yet,” he said. You paused, about to ask him what else he needed when he stooped over and pressed his lips to your cheek. “Thanks for coming to my game. I’m not really sure how you knew I was playing, but I’m glad you could make it either way.”

“Um — uh — Hiori told me, he told me you were playing, and, er, where to go and what time and all,” you stammered, trying to wrap your head around what had just happened, replaying it in your mind over and over.

“Hiori? I should’ve known he’d be the type to meddle like that,” he said. “I’m not even going to ask how you know each other. The answer will probably make me feel vaguely discomfited, so I’ll abide by an ‘ignorance is bliss’ policy.”

“That’s probably for the best,” you said, composing yourself, though internally, you were imagining what it would be like if you had turned your head, if instead of your cheek his lips had landed somewhere else. “Okay, I should go now. See you on Saturday?”

“One last thing. You’re pretty transparent, you know,” he said, grasping your chin in his left hand and leaning in. Your eyelashes fluttered shut as he grew closer and closer, but right when his mouth was a hair’s breadth from yourself, he chuckled. “Also, pretty gullible.”

Instead of kissing you like you had anticipated he would, he tackled you in another hug. You squealed in protest, but he held fast, his body rumbling with laughter as you simultaneously struggled to escape and clung onto him as tightly as you could.

“I hate you,” you said when your half-hearted efforts proved to be entirely futile.

“Sure you do,” he said.

“You’re the worst,” you said.

“Absolutely,” he said.

“I’m being serious here. You smell!” you said.

“Well, that’s plain rude of you to say,” he said, messing up your hair in what you were sure he deemed to be a punishment, as if being crushed against his sweaty form wasn’t punishment enough.

“Let go of me, you idiot crow!” you said.

“No can do,” he said. “Crows are clingy birds, you know. Even the idiotic ones. Ask me again in twenty years and maybe we can revisit the issue.”

“Karasu!”

[the-acid-pear]

Tonight aside from refining my seer skills I dream about a fucking baby almost dying. We were in this old house like full on grandma house so dark (bc poor lightning) and brown (lot of wood, the other tone was greyish white). I was sitting in the ground around this coffee table w some ppl and in a diff room a baby was climbing around and by baby I mean toddler? He changed age a lot. And the baby was doing some spiderman shit until he fell FLAT on the ground and as you can imagine that was terrifying bc we thought he fucking died but no he was a little bloodied (blood looked dry and wiped away in his cheek, that orangy after tone outline) but Alive so I picked it up and we rushed outside (we were like 5 ppl no clue WHO I kinda recognize someone from highschool but don't even remember her name???) and the baby started crying but i started tickling him and just goofying and he laughed bc he liked me.

Now I don't know why but car wasn't an option anymore now we got on a bus and it was the type of surreal shit you'd usually expect from a dream with senseless rules and architecture bc i just couldn't get around it I had to get around the seats hand the baby then spin back around I have no clue why it was so awkward. I mean it was bc my fat ass couldn't fit but that engineering man fucking hell...

Anyway instead of a going to a hospital we went to a courtroom and it was going well a bit of fighting against ppl I had no idea who they were until we had to hand a paper but we hadn't finished it and so they dismissed us and were like alright everyone go outside grab a book and it was like recess in a little patch of grass surrounded by brick walls (and a side step around it) outside of the courthouse. There I sat to draw and saw two primary school friends. I spoke w one named Tobias. I was drawing and so was he. He drew Goku. I started drawing a scene. Drew the background then a person and it was fun even in dream struggling w it but managing. I ended up drawing this white haired butch w a dog. Maybe it was a guy idk. Tits out tho last minute addition. Background had hills and square mountains and waterfalls. It was very pretty :)

And yeah then I woke up damned be the baby

[hertwood]

dts s3 e9-10

e9: -bahrain is such a beautiful track btw i love her -damn they just jump straight into it boom explosion -before logan was the sad wet lil meow meow......2020 alex was the ORIGINAL -the way reporters are asking abt checo->red bull before he even won that race, makes me curious how much he was seriously in the conversation for the seat beforehand. anyone who was on tumblr at the time i'd love to hear what the gossip mills were like at the time 👀 -dany's "please tell me he's okay" always GETS me bc i know dany's the car he crashed with and it was 100% a racing incident but i cannot imagine the guilt he was feeling in the moment. i'm so fond of him he definitely deserved better by the red bull machine -gunther talking about how fire is the worst thing you can have in a crash--and thinking about how guanyu said his biggest fear in his silverstone crash was the car catching fire. we're really lucky that his car didnt honestly -the music design on this in INCREDIBLE like they really did an INSANE job here. cacos "thats an act of god" always gets me. really summarizes how improbably lucky he was to survive that. i'm so glad he did -gunther sucks but the way he insists he has to meet the rescue guys to thank them personally 😭😭 -ALBODIUM MY BELOVED (when will she return) -i didnt write anything down for the grosjean post crash self reflection bit. i just wanted to sit and experience it and not think :) -one can say this sakhir crash was the original checo third wheeling lestappen -when ppl ask how to get into f1, i always bring up the inside story series on youtube, and TOP of recommendations is the inside story on this race! it is truly insane what he did here, cant wait to see this race in full -i just think it wouldve been SO iconic if george had won this race. first ever mercedes race win before he even got a mercedes seat? wouldive been ICONIC. ppl talk abt the domino affect of alex's appendicitis but if mercedes didnt fuck up BOTH their drivers pit stops, checo wouldn't have won (probably), would he have been signed then? new butterfly affect to discuss -I THINK. i know the idea of checo leaving the sport soon is being discussed a lot, and even in this episode he discusses that if its the end for him he is proud of what hes accomplished and thankful for as long as he had to drive in f1. his red bull seat really was a lifeline, a second chance, and he has added to his legacy significantly with red bull. if he loses his seat on 2024, no matter what mean things i've said about him in the heat of the moment, he has a LOT to be proud of. if its his time to go, its his time to go

ep 10: -i think AD is a BANGER of a race track. i'm glad its the finale race -ok so lets see daniel gives renault their first podium in 9 years......then gives mclaren their first win in forever as well.....hmmmm.....washed up who? -cyril getting a tattoo youtube video is So Important 2 ME. cyril calling his wife to tell her the details while daniel dies silent laughing is the instant seratonin boost for me -every time zak & lando have a lil clearly staged chat it has the most sugar baby energy ever why do they do this -lando says so many nice things abt daniel here yet the dando antis choose to ignore them and insist lando does nothing but distrespect him 😡 anti-lando daniel girlies r my least favorite -NOT DANIEL HITTING THE BEAM ABOVE HIM IN THE GARAGE TOO the dando agenda continues -damn i hope they give this much dts attention to the battle for 7th last year too -lawrence rly hired seb to mentor his son huh -aston martin colors Do Fuck we all must admit -frothing at the mouth over the 4433 moment here. its mental illness innit -i've always felt. like the lewis racism segment was a bit shoehorned in here. like they went oh fuck we need to include this somewhere lets just slap it on the end of the episode. i think it would've been so much better and more impactful in a fully lewis focused episode. but ya kno? i'd rather they do it this way than not at all, so i suppose i shouldn't complain too much

[555swag]

today on the bus there a was an okd man, his hand was shaking very much and he stood right at the door, while I had the seat at the door, but I couldn’t let him sit bc it was too full to move around. Every single person (it were all girls younger than me), he made them pass by so they could hold on better. i don’t actually like old ppl (trust me i have my reasons) but i thought that was very sweet and i was happy

[realityparty]

EDDIEMUNSONWEEK: Day five (August 19): New Beginnings/College AU

SUMMARY: Eddie didn’t think anything of volunteering to be a nude model for a college art class.  PAIRING: Eddie x OFC

Word Count: 9k Warnings: Smut (Oral Sex), Nude modeling? Additonal Comments: So this was like 10 pages longer, but I didn’t want to miss the deadline. If anyone likes this and wants a part ii and I probably will write it if ppl like it enough! So since I was in a rush, there are probably many spelling errors. Please forgive me! Enjoy! Writing Links: Stranger Things Masterlist

Eddie didn’t want to admit it to anyone and especially to his Uncle Wayne, but moving and living in the city wasn’t exactly peachy. 

There was freedom to not being called a freak or a Satanist. There was barely any judgment for his long hair, the clothes he wore, and the music he blared through his Walkman. He felt invisible. It was a weird feeling considering Hawkins it felt as if his every move was watched and dissected. 

It wasn't a hasty decision to move to the city. Just after finally graduating high school. There was nothing really left for him and he couldn't imagine selling pot to kids when he was finally out of high school. Also, why would he stay in a town that hated him and cursed him when they stubbed their toe. 

He didn't want to leave his Uncle Wayne. However, Wayne had always been understanding. Maybe to understanding to a fault. So Eddie left Hawkins and didn't plan on coming back. 

He found an apartment above a tattoo shop and a job as a sandwich artist where the pay was shit and left them with barely any change to pay to rent a movie. So the one night he splurged on a night out at the bar, the flyer with the paper tab to rip off wasn't something he seriously considered. 

It amused him a bit. Yet, it was a paid gig and an easy $25 an hour he was needed. A lucrative supplement that would work around his schedule. It would also be an extra bit of change for him to buy the new guitar string he needed and part he needed for his shitty van. 

So on a cool Monday morning, he stood in a stark white classroom. There were 12 easels surrounding a small stool where he would be sitting. As he feels the draft in the room, maybe this wasn't the best idea. 

Eddie was up for trying anything at least once. Yet, maybe he was out of his element here, deciding to be a nude model for the semester for an art class at the university. 

The professor, Benson, was warm and welcoming. The man gushed about his curly hair and how he thought this would be a good chance for his students to draw hair with texture. He had assured him everything would be anonymous and would be paid weekly. 

Eddie had nodded as he admired some works of art that seemed to be in progress. His eyes caught what seemed to be an oil painting rendition of the poisoned apple from Sleeping Beauty.

Students filed into the room with low hushed voices. A part of him was waiting for the pointed stares and harsh whispers. Instead, if anyone caught his eyes, they gave him a soft smile before finding their seat. Most seem to be around his age. There are a couple of older students that seem to be in their 40s. Yet, most students are busily prepping their station. He knows he is the one staring until he reaches the end of the semicircle. Eddie's eyes land on a beautiful girl. Hair was up in two space buns. She had black glasses framing large brown eyes. Lips were plump and highlighted by a glossy sheen. Recognition tickled his gut as his eyes met hers. He imagined if her skin was as white as his, they would have turned pink. Instead, her eyes widen a bit before a closed-lipped smile is thrown his way. She broke eye contact as she fiddled with her area.

Once the room was filled, that's when Eddie felt nervous. He was in a room full of strangers and was about to be nude as the day he was born for the sake of art. He was feeling self-conscious about his kitchen scratch tattoos and soft tummy. 

On Benson's cue, he disrobed. Eddie thought he would prefer the taunts and whispers to the clinical silence. The cool air made his nipples taunt and for a moment he was concerned, what if he popped a boner?

 Although the ridiculous warm up poses Benson had him do he thought he deserved to be paid more than $25 an hour. Someone just got a glimpse of his asshole. Too late for manscaping.

Benson had him stand still. Eddie didn't know how he was going to stand still for over an hour, especially when there wasn't any music playing. He was told to keep a neutral expression, which wasn't too hard. He had to resist the urge to tap his fingers along his side.

His eyes focused on the wall behind the flock of students. He didn't want to make awkward eye contact with anyone. Yet, after five minutes, he has already grown bored. It's then onto reciting the whole Metallica's Master of Puppets album. That only killed about 20 minutes, thankfully. He sighed in relief when Benson called for a 10 minute break. Benson was immediately at his side with his robe. He gave him a grateful smile as he covered up for modesty's sake.

Most of the students went to the bathroom and to the water fountain. Eddie wasn't sure what the protocol was, but he felt it was evasive to look at incomplete drawings even if they were of him. Instead, he leaned against the wall and thought maybe he would smoke a joint before this. Then he shook his head as he eyed the space buns girl concentrating hard on her drawing. Her tongue peaking out between her full lips. Benson doing a walk around had lingered on her and he could tell by the smile it was good. The last thing he needed was a boner as he tried to rake his brain on how he knew her. 

That was what he focused on for the rest of the class. Maybe she just was a frequent customer at the sandwich shop. He didn't think she could be from Hawkins. He would have remembered a face like hers unless she was an upperclassman. Yet, he became distracted by the itch to scratch his nose and as he focused on that irritation class was called to a close. 

Eddie walked behind the small partition as he pulled on his clothes. He slid on his clothes and welcomed the weight of the rings on his fingers. 

Everyone else was cleaning up, but he noticed Space Buns was still sketching on her paper. 

"Wasn't so bad was it?" Benson asked.

Eddie shook his head. "Different for sure."

Bensen smiled and a pensive smile came over his face as he eyed Eddie. "Do you mind wearing those rings for the next session?"

Eddie looked down at his mood ring, silver pig, skulls with a cross, and his vampire skull. He shrugged. "No problem."

The next class went the same as the first. He did an awkward warm-up sketch before being directed by Benson on the "look" he wanted. 

However, he fingered out why Benson required him to wear his rings as the easels were placed a bit differently. Some were further away from him while a few were about 6 feet away, thankfully nowhere near his exposed, flaccid dick. 

However, he had no other exception than to stare at Space Buns as her easel was directly in his line of sight. She had the pleasure, in his lovely opinion, of drawing the profile of his face and his hands where his rings were the most prominent. 

Her brown eyes connected with his, and she gave him a shy smile. He watched her face morph into total concentration as she studied him. It was only fair he did the same to her. 

She had her hair styled with those same Space Buns. She was wearing blue jeans tucked into a pair of pink vans with a Joan Jett shirt. There was a cluster of barely there freckles across the bridge of her nose. She stuck her tongue out when she was really concentrating. He admired her pouty lips and how her lip gloss accentuated her cupid’s bow. He wondered how plump they would get if he nibbled on them. The feel of them slotted against his. Eddie quickly corrected that thought, as the last thing he needed was his excitement scaring the class. 

He would have inspected her further if the easel wasn’t in his way. 

The time seemed to move a bit faster compared to the first session. His bones felt relief when Benson called for a break. Space Buns snickered at his cracked bones. He found his opening. He quickly tied his robe around himself. As he padded towards her, he ignored the chill of the ceramic tiles against his feet. 

"Mind if I see?" He asked.

His answer was a nod of her head, and he walked around to find a sketch of himself. The attention to his rings was incredible to him. Although a work in progress, he felt as if he was looking in the mirror. 

"Damn," Eddie said with a whistle. 

"What?"

Eddie smiled, and he did an exaggerated bicep pose. "You make me look…pretty. Mysterious. Sexy," he added as his tongue crowded his teeth.

She giggled. It reminded him of wind chimes. 

“So, this is your major?” He asked. 

She nodded. “Yeah, I’m in my junior year.“

“Cool,” Eddie replied. 

“Are you a student?”

Eddie snorted. “Nah, just a plain old citizen needing extra cash.”

The other students filtered back into the class and Eddie thought it was time to head back to his stool. He had butterflies in his stomach and he still didn’t know the girl's name.  

Eddie wasn’t totally friendless in the city. He was cool with his co-workers. It was a mixture of ages and personalities. He was never bored, that’s for sure, it was just the work wasn’t very fulfilling. Out of all his co-workers, he hung out with Andy Barber the most. The man was a couple of years older than him, but he felt Andy stilled believed he was in high school. He didn’t think the man hung out with anyone his age. 

He found himself trailing behind Andy, who was invited to some college party. Eddie didn’t really want to go, but he didn’t have much of an excuse not to go. He just knew Andy was going to ditch him for some girl. Eddie only came for the free booze and potential weed. The party wasn’t awful; he supposed. There were sweaty bodies gyrating against each other, copious amounts of alcohol, and the haze of smoke everywhere. 

Eddie found himself a beer, as he was not going to drink from an open cup, and took a healthy swing. He rarely went to parties in Hawkins unless he was selling. His type of party was just going to Reefer Rick’s and smoking. Sometimes movies, music, or video games were on, but it was just smoking and laughing. Talking about things and confusing their brains. 

A few girls caught his eye, which was new for him. He gave them a charming smile back before a body slammed into his chest. 

“Ahh!”

Eddie looked down at the body that bounced off him and landed on the floor. Red juice stained her grey David Bowie shirt. 

“Space Buns?” He questioned. Her hair wasn’t up. It was down and exposed tight curls that framed her face like a halo. 

“I…,” her mouth opened, then she closed it. Her fingers pushed her glasses up her nose. She took a deep breath before he helped her off the ground. She didn’t seem drunk. “I don’t know your name.”

“Eddie,” he told her. “You okay?”

She pulled at her shirt to inspect the damage. “I guess I will live,” she muttered. “What are you doing here?”

“Came with a friend,” he told her. “You?”

“Same, but this isn’t really my scene,” she admitted. “And Space Buns?”

Eddie chuckled. “Oh, because you always seemed to have your hair in buns.”

“Oh, my name’s Jensen,” she told him, the stain on her shirt forgotten. 

Her name rolled around his tongue in a good way. “Nice to meet you, Jensen,” he greeted with a bow. Jensen giggled as she curtesy in response. 

Eddie’s smile was large as it showed off his teeth. 

“You need a drink,” he offered as they were in the kitchen. Jensen nodded as he found a beer and passed it to her. He thought they would go back to the party. Instead, Jensen hopped up onto the counter. He leaned against the counter next to her. 

He didn’t know how long they talked. He learned that she had dreams of obtaining a fellowship to study art overseas. She hoped to make a living being an artist and opening up her own art studio and gallery. Her favorite color was pink. Her favorite movie was Rebel Without a Cause. She loved nachos and cheese. Her time of day was night despite the lack of natural light to draw. 

He shared things as well. She never made him feel less compared to her experience, as it was apparent she came from more money than him. He didn’t have much to tell her due to living in such a small place as Hawkins. He left out the nasty bits of being bullied by most of the town. Yet he boasted with pride of his time as Dungeon Master with Hellfire club. The fact she knew what Dungeon and Dragons was had his heart soaring. She listened with her full attention and even laughed at his lame jokes. 

“Jensen!” Both jumped at the loud call of her name over the music and chatter of the partygoers. She gave him a sheepish smile. “I think it’s time for me to go.”

Eddie nodded, sad to see her go. 

“I’ll see you at the studio,” she called out as she disappeared into the crowd. 

As the contract, he arrived early before the students showed up. Benson wanted him to be aware of what poses they expected him to try to bring. From the layout of the red velvet loveseat, Eddie had a pretty good idea. 

Benson wanted a sensual pose. Eddie scratched his nose. He didn’t know if he could do sensuality. Benson’s advice was to think some pleasant thoughts. Pleasant thoughts to Eddie could accidentally pop a boner. As usual, Eddie stripped down to his birthday suit in exchange for the fluffy robe. He sat on the couch as he tried to figure out poses. So far, he was only having luck finding poses that required his legs to be spread open. He propped his knees on his elbows and placed his chin on his hands. This position seemed to bring the most comfort. 

“Different pose for sensual, usually most lay across the couch,” Benson observed. “Just can’t look bored with your face. It’s going to be about the eyes for this one.”

Eddie huffed. He tried to think of something that would rouse him enough to bring a heated gaze. He thought of a good D&D campaign or him finally mastering “Master of Puppets” with his sweetheart. Then he thought of dimples on caramel skin. Curly hair tickling his nose and studious fingers tracing his body to memorize every contour. His cheeks burned, and he felt the heat spread to his neck and chest. Especially as his object of affection walked into the room. 

Benson chuckled from next to him, “See, not so hard. The body and its mechanics are simply art. Don’t be embarrassed.”

Eddie sighed, but his gaze found Jensen, who gave him a little wave. She only had one bun in her hair today with two swords in them for decoration. There was a blue shimmer to her eyes and lips today as she wore a Michael Jackson Thriller-era shirt. She looked beautiful. 

 He gave her a small smile in return and he prayed to every god out there he didn’t pop a boner. 

Eddie walked the familiar journey to the art studio. It filled his stomach with flattering bat wings at the thought of seeing Jensen again. He thought about her too much to be considered normal over the passing days. His boner may not have made an appearance during their last class, but in the confines of his apartment, it was a different story. 

He almost tripped over his feet as he found Jensen already at the studio early. She looked at him with a bright smile and waved in greeting. 

“Hey.”

Eddie walked into the empty classroom. No Benson in sight. “You’re here early,” he observed as he placed his things behind the partition Benson had given him. 

“Actually, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Yeah?”

She looked nervous as she played with a pencil in her hand. Her teeth trapped her bottom lip before she stood straighter. It was making him slightly nervous about what she was going to ask him. 

“You know you already seen my dick, so whatever you have to ask, I’m sure is pretty tame,” Eddie said, hoping to ease the tension. 

Jensen huffed. “Right.” She pushed her glasses up on her nose. “I was wondering if you could be the subject to a series of work I want to do.”

“Nude?”

She shook her head. “No. It would require…um…I want to play with the identity of femininity and masculinity. So some makeup and feminine clothing are going to be part of the outfits. I…since it’s for school, I won’t be able to pay you, but um a dinner…or beer whatever you like I can give you instead.”

Eddie put his hands up and chuckled. “Whoa, its okay. Yeah, I’ll do it.”

Her eyes were wide and hopeful. He wasn’t prepared for the hug she rewarded him with. Oranges and vanilla filled his nostrils. 

“Thank you, Eddie.”

Jensen had given him a very thorough paper on the meaning of what she was hoping to showcase with her end of the year exhibit. She also planned to use this work as a submission to the fellowship she wanted. 

She also left details to her apartment as they scheduled the session on a Saturday afternoon. She mentioned that he wouldn’t have to pose as he did for class. As she wanted options, it was going to be just a long photoshoot. She was going to pick her favorite photographs to paint. He may only be needed for a few references for getting skin tone or potentially mimicking a pose for a reference. 

Eddie eyed the repurposed warehouse building she resided in. He chewed on his fingernail before he pressed the buzzer to enter her building. Her voice came over the speaker, letting him in. He walked towards the elevator and he got to the fifth floor where Jensen greeted him wearing a pair of denim overalls. Her hair was in their infamous Space Buns. 

“Did you find the place, okay?”

“Yeah, helped you have parking,” he told her as she opened the door. 

She lived in a loft. There were a bunch of canvases lining the ground some were clean and others painted. Stepping in it was just an open floor plan, being the kitchen and living room that was strategically blocked off. He made note of an art area set up. He figured where the photos would be taken. 

The stairway he imagined led to her bedroom and bathroom. 

“You live alone?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” she replied. “So I was thinking we pick out the outfits you are comfortable in and then I can treat you to dinner?”

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

“It’s no bother. It’s the least I could do.”

Jensen gave him a more thorough tour of his place. She grabbed his jackets and placed them on the hook. He kicked off his sneakers and placed them next to her pink Converses. He eyed her extensive record collection that he was itching to scour through. The place was warm and cozy until his cold place. There weren’t many pictures of her family, he noticed. The place was filled with artwork. 

“Is this all your work?” He asked, as he admired a painting of a man caressing another man’s face. It was an intimate picture. He wondered how she came across that. 

“Yeah, I was hesitant to hang them up…”

“They’re beautiful,” he told her. Eddie liked to sketch himself occasionally, but he was nowhere near as good as her. 

“Thank you.”

She finished the tour of her place. It was much, but it was more than he had. He imagined that it could be lonely living in such a big place like this. She led him over to her drawing area. It surprised him to only find two outfits: a baby pink ballerina outfit with white tights and a black suit. 

“I was expecting more,” he told her honestly. 

“I thought if I did too much, it would get lost. So with the ballerina suit, I was just thinking of leaving you more natural. Maybe paint your nails?”

“Hey, you’re the boss. I’m following your lead.”

“Okay, I was thinking of black for the nails,” she muttered. She explained that for the black suit that she wanted him to wear makeup. Black eyeliner around his eyes, nude lipstick, and some blush. She was debating if she wanted him to wear glitter eyeshadow. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

Eddie shrugged. He wasn’t one to get all tangled up with what was considered appropriate for their respective genders. He snatched the ballerina outfit with the tights. “Let me get changed and you can paint my nails.”

Eddie walked into the bathroom, more so for modesty's sake. He had to remind himself that Jensen has seen him naked multiple times at this point. The ballerina leotard was snug. He was grateful for the tutu, as it really didn’t leave much to the imagination. He grabbed his clothes and placed them neatly on the edge of her bed before trailing down the steps where Jensen sat at her dining room table with the black nail polish. 

“Be careful walking down the steps. You could slip in those tights,” she warned. 

Eddie took his time walking down the steps, holding onto the railing. Jensen looked up at him and admired his form. 

“You like what you see?” He teased as he did a twirl. 

“I think you know you’re pretty, Eddie,” she replied. 

“So you think I’m pretty?”

“It’s one of the reasons I asked to draw you.”

Eddie chuckled as he sat down opposite her. He placed his hand out in front of him. He didn’t have much nails, considering he bit them out of a nervous habit. Her grip was soft but firm as she grabbed his thumb first. 

“So, how long have you lived here?”

“Just the beginning of this year,” she informed him. “My dad owns a lot of real estate. This is one of the new buildings he bought.”

“And he let you move here all by yourself?”

Jensen shrugged. “I guess.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry.” He backpedaled. He could tell when someone didn’t want to talk about their family life. 

“It’s not like that,” she licked her lips as she concentrated on not getting the polish on his skin. “Just we’re not a close family. My dad provides for me. I don’t feel unloved. It’s just…”

“Are you the only child?”

“I have an older brother. He is in business. Don’t ask me what he does because I have no idea.”

Eddie nodded. 

"What about you?" 

Eddie blew a raspberry. He told her all about his uncle Wayne. It felt a disservice to even say he was an uncle when he was his father. There were many times his uncle and dad fought over the way his dad took him around to steal cars. The lack of a stable home. He told her all of that without shame that he knew how to hot wire a car at the age of 6. His mom left without a trace in the darkness of the night when he was 7. Eddie thought he could walk down the street and not even recognize the woman that gave birth to him. Things like that used to make him embarrassed, but now he knew it was just a fact of life. No one’s life was shiny or perfect. Everyone was a flawed individual with pluses and minuses. 

She finished painting his nails, and he was unprepared when she grabbed his hand and began blowing on it. It caused him to jump in surprise. She didn’t comment on it. 

Instead, she asked him about his favorite movies. 

Eddie eyed the black nail polish on his nails as he stood in front of Jensen. He thought it was weird he felt more exposed right now than he did buck naked in a room full of people. Jensen was messing around with a camera as he rolled on his heels. The radio was on and low in the background. She told him to just be himself and not think. So he knew that he could exactly run around like a Tasmanian devil. She did put his hair up in a bun and he sort of felt like a ballerina. 

He tried to think of poses ballerina did, but the only move he could think of was Stevie Nicks on the cover of Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours album. 

He stilled when he heard the click of the camera. 

“Don’t worry about me, just do what’s natural,” Jensen commented. 

Eddie quirked a brow and shook his body. He did a bunch of exaggerated poses as he hopped around the room and twirled. He did bows and kicks. The attempt to stand on his tippy toes didn't result in a broken toe. 

Jensen didn’t interrupt. She just continuously snapped pictures, and it made him wonder how much film was in a camera. 

But he was having fun. It was something different and a story to tell his uncle for sure. However, if he was going to be himself and she was looking to capture something, it had him standing straight. “Hey, I have an idea.”

Jensen moved the camera from her face as she looked at him curiously. He jetted upstairs to where his clothes were and grabbed his cigarettes and lighter. 

“You have any beer here?” He asked as he rushed down the stairs. 

“No, only wine,” Jensen said with a frown. 

“Oh, Jen, if we are going to be friends you need to keep a 6-pack on stock,” Eddie said as he swiped a bottle on her countertop. 

“Duly noted,” he heard her reply. 

Eddie removed the cork and took a swing. He didn’t think he ever had wine. It wasn’t as if he knew anyone that drank it until now. He placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it. 

“Now this is model material,” he said, muffled by the cigarette in his mouth. 

Jensen took a photo before the words were out of his mouth. 

She only took a couple dozen more photographs before she announced she believed it was time for a wardrobe change. He couldn’t believe it was going on for two hours since he walked through her door. Now, he was in a suit that seemed to be worth three months of his rent. His hair was in her signature space buns. His eyes were outlined with black and she had put a gold eyeshadow on his eyes. They debated on a lip gloss or a nude matte lipstick before the lipstick won out. It felt weird on his lips.

Jensen had directed him to be more still, like his poses for the art class. It would be a more thoughtful pose. She was kneeling on the floor to take pictures. It seemed she was playing with angles and close-ups. She wanted him to make more faces, from funny to serious. Mouth open with his tongue out or lips pursed in mock irritation. 

She didn’t take as many as she did when him in the pink leotard and tutu. He was standing with his hands behind his back as he stared up at the ceiling. “Okay, I think that should be good.”

She gave him a bright smile. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this, Eddie.”

He shrugged. “It’s no problem.”

“So pizza and wings?” Eddie nodded his head, and Jensen walked over to her phone to order the food. 

He walked upstairs back to her bathroom to change back into his regular clothes. He didn’t care about the nail polish on his fingers. Jensen would supply nail polish remover if he asked for it. The issue was in trying to remove the eyeliner, which he should have left alone. He had tried to wipe it off with some tissue, but he only ended up looking like a dry rat or a cartoonish raccoon. 

He threw the soiled tissue away and opened the door. Moving out of the bathroom, he could hear Jensen humming along to Marvin Gaye. He stood at the top of her steps with a smile on his face as her hips swayed. 

“Hey, Jen?”

She jumped a little and fixed the glasses on her face. She rushed over to the bottom of the steps. As her eyes gave him a full appraisal, a giggle escaped past her lips. “Need some help, yeah?”

He nodded his head as she walked up the stairs. “Come on, silly.”

“Hey, it’s not like makeup is a staple in my wardrobe,” he said to defend himself. 

Jensen directed him to sit on the toilet while she grabbed a wicker basket that contained small, expensive-looking bottles. 

It looked exhausting being a girl. Her nimble hands grabbed a light pink tube that had the words' milk and Honey on them surrounded by roses. Squeezing the bottle, a clear substance lined her fingertip. 

"With makeup, it's best to work on dry rather than wet," she explained. "I ran out of my oil cleanser, which would be best for the first wash."

"First?" Eddie said with wide eyes. How many times did a person need to wash their face to get makeup off? It made him think of the band KISS and the fun they had wiping off that face paint. 

“When you have a full face of makeup, you got to get it all off. I don’t care for a repeat of high school with pimples all on my forehead.” She told him as she rubbed the mixture onto his face and instructed him to close his eyes. 

“Could always get some bangs,” he suggested. 

“Is that what you did?”

Eddie hummed as he got used to someone washing his face. For Eddie, he washed his face when he was in the shower. Just rubbed some soap between his hands to form some suds and rubbed his face. He thought doing anything else was excessive. 

But Jensen was gentle as she rubbed his face. He may have pressed his face further in her hands like a dog from the gentleness of it. 

“Okay, we need to rinse your face,” she informed him, and her fingers disappeared. He kept his eyes closed as she lead him to the sink and guided him to bend down. He used his hands and wiped away the suds. When he was down, Jensen handed him a towel - a very soft towel - he might add. He began rubbing his face, and it startled him when Jensen released an affronted squeak. She ripped the towel from his hands. 

“Hey, what was that for?” He asked. His brown eyes were wide in alarm. 

“You’re going to ruin your skin drying it like that,” she told him. The artist moved closer to him. It wasn’t until they were practically chest to chest that he realized how tiny the woman in front of him was. “You’re supposed to pat gently.”

Eddie huffed in amusement. He bent down to give her a better angle as she patted his skin dry. “Wouldn’t want to ruin this pretty face with premature wrinkles, now would we?” He mumbled between the pats. 

“You’re one for flattery, aren’t you?” Jensen observed after she finished drying his face. 

His doe eyes were wide with mirth. “Flattery will get you everywhere, pretty girl.”

Jensen grabbed a small glass jar and unscrewed the lid. “So you think I’m pretty?”

Eddie’s cheeks went hot. Butterflies tickled his ribs. She scooped out a glob of white cream and made multiple markings on his face. He wasn’t aware he was getting a spa day out of this. “Erm, I think it’s pretty obvious.”

She paused, rubbing the cool substance into his skin. She looked at him curiously. Her eyes searched for something in his. He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t break eye contact. She did. Her fingers trembled against his skin. 

He brought his hand up and grabbed her own. Her hands were small and smooth compared to his rough, calloused ones from playing guitar and helping his dad steal cars when he was younger.

“Did I say something wrong?” He asked, perplexed. He brought their hands down and used his thumb to rub a soothing circle. 

She looked at their hands. “I just didn’t think…someone like you would look at me like that.”

Eddie was confused. “Someone like me?”

She looked up at him and pushed up her glasses despite there being no need to. Eddie was starting to think it was a nervous tick of hers. 

“Ya know…” She bit her bottom lip. 

“Someone that likes heavy metal? Long luscious hair? Dungeons and Dragons? I’m more partial to weed over coke,” he teased as he listed the things that made him a freak in Hawkins, as he tried to work a smile on her pretty face. 

He could tell she was fighting a smile, but she brought her hand up and highlighted the contrast of their skin. 

Eddie licked his lips. Jensen was a black woman, and he was a white man. He wasn’t going to act like he wasn’t aware of that fact. He knew his view of the world was very different from hers and if something would be pursued; it would be a learning curve for him in the sense of realizing the privileges it afforded him.

“Should I not like you?” He asked instead. 

“Just because you think I’m pretty is very different from liking me,” she pointed out.

Eddie nodded his head. “Do you like me?” 

“I think you’re pretty.”

“Not what I asked,” he said as he dropped their hands. He wasn’t sure where this conversation was going and it was making him nervous. He gripped the edge of the countertop and emotions swirled through him. 

Jensen never answered the question as the buzzer to her apartment rang, announcing the arrival of the pizza man. 

Eddie wasn’t sure what happened in Jensen’s apartment. Once they left the space of her bathroom, they never brought up what happened. The tension was still there, but instead of releasing it, they let it fester. 

Eddie had left shortly after the pizza and back to his bleak apartment. He followed the motions for the next couple of days. He ignored Andy’s inquisition about Jensen from the party. Eddie wanted to keep her to himself as he was still reeling from how the atmosphere changed between them at her place. It made him all the more nervous for the next studio session. 

When he arrived, Benson told him to be sad, which Eddie knew wouldn’t be a problem. He chewed on his nails as he watched people arrive. His eyes waiting for Jensen’s presence in the room. The brunette was curious if she was out of sorts like he was. If she even thought about him as much as he had her. She trailed in with her pink Converses and a pair of denim overalls. Hair up in two space buns. It worried him that she may ignore him. Yet, any sadness lingering eased as before she sat down at her easel. She waved at him. 

Eddie thought he was a goner if such a simple gesture made his heart swell. 

Eddie slid his arm through his leather jacket as he moved out from behind the partition and was startled to see Jensen still there. Her things were packed in the large tote bag she carried as she stood by her easel. Benson was still in the room and Eddie could see from the corner of their eyes he was discreetly watching them with a smile. 

“Hey?” He greeted. 

“Do you have a minute?” She asked.

Eddie nodded as she lead him out of the studio. She led them to a small nook that contained two chairs with a small table in between. The pleather seats groaned from their weight.  

She pushed her glasses up. “I…just wanted to say sorry for what happened at my place.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” he told her. 

She shook her head. “No, I assumed things. And you’ve been really nice and sweet.”

Eddie’s cheeks went pink at the compliment. He wasn’t sure what to say, but Jensen continued on, “I…I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me?”

Eddie’s jaw dropped to the floor. He was speechless, but his brain rapidly caught up with the situation. “Um….do you want to go now?”

Jensen giggled. 

The first date was simply getting ice cream, and Eddie got a brain freeze. Eddie didn’t kiss her, though, but he wanted to. He learned that she didn’t have a car, which surprised him. He ended up dropping her off at her place. She parted giving him a kiss on the cheek. He liked Jensen a lot. 

In the following class, he had to model. It was hard not staring at Jensen and keeping the flush out of his cheeks. He thought it was a bit juvenile being in his early 20s, acting like this over a girl. Yet, he never got to have movements like these in high school. Sure, there were girls he thought were pretty. He admired them from far away. It wasn’t like he could act on those interests. The only time he regularly talked to girls was if they were making a deal with him. 

He learned that Jensen had a pretty open schedule. She mainly focused on making art pieces to sell and he learned she volunteered at a local community house helping with art classes or things like production designs for theater projects. 

So when they planned things, it was around his schedule. She had invited him over to her place, as she had to put the finishing touches on a commission. Since he was going to be working two doubles, they would see each other until his time as a nude model. 

He had the code to her place and bypassed the buzzer easily. She was waiting for him by the elevator. He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek before she dragged him to her open door by the hand. 

“So what are we working on today?” He asked as he kicked off his shoes. 

“The usual. The deceased pet of a very rich lady,” she told him as she walked back to her studio. She was using oil pastels for this drawing. His eyes flicked over to seven easels, all covered by sheets. Those were the oil paintings of the photoshoot they did that he was not allowed to see until they were done. 

He was confused at first about why she would want him over while she worked. There wasn’t anything wrong with watching her paint and draw. He enjoyed seeing that intense level of concentration. Heck, it even allowed him to improve his own meager doodles he did for D&D campaigns. Sometimes, she would eye the piece and give him pointers on how to improve. Yet, he figured that maybe Jensen didn’t like to be alone. Since he began to fill the spaces of her life, there hadn’t been any mention of her family since the day of the photoshoot. 

Eddie stood behind her as he looked at the scrunched face of a pug. Jensen somehow made the ugly dog cute. “I’m almost done.”

“Take your time,” he told her over her shoulder. It amazed him he got to witness Jensen work on original pieces like this. He knew she would be something someday. 

She turned her head to look at him, and he gave her a smile. He could see the freckles that trailed across her nose. She had no makeup on it seemed. Just a slight tint to her lips. 

His eyes lingered on her lips before he trailed to her eyes. “Can I kiss you?” 

“You don’t have to ask that, Eddie,” she whispered. 

Eddie leaned forward and pressed his lips softly to her. He didn’t know what to expect out of their first kiss. But he liked how her breath hitched that allowed his tongue entry to meet her own. She tasted like oranges and he hummed deep in his throat. Jensen shifted in her chair and turned. Her chest pressed against his, her hands tugged on the bottom of his shirt. He knew there would be pastel stains there. 

The need for air became apparent, and he pulled back, licking his lips and tasting the cherry chapstick. 

“You feeling a movie or game?” He asked. 

“I think I can kick your ass in Guess Who.”

“Those are fighting words, baby.”

Jensen laughed. Eddie couldn’t resist planting another kiss on those sweet lips of hers. 

Eddie hummed to Metallic as he worked on his orders. Another perk of being a sandwich artist was being able to listen to his preferred music without shame. The shop wasn’t particularly busy today. They had their few regulars that left generous tips and some left field orders. He had just finished wrapping a sandwich up that was due for a pickup when he heard a familiar voice that made his ears perk. 

He spun around to find Jensen, no space buns, but hair out in her natural curls, at the register talking to Andy. She caught his eye and gave him a wave. Andy turned to look at him and threw him a wink. 

Eddie shook his head. He took off his latex gloves and cleaned his hands with some hand sanitizer. 

“Hey, what are you doing here?” He asked as she subtly pushed Andy out of the way. 

Jensen gave him a shy smile. “Well, I was in the area…”

Eddie threw her a look, as he knew she was not in the area. His sandwich shop was fairly new and nowhere near a close vicinity to her place. Besides, the lack of any type of shopping bags gave away her little fib. 

“So you thought this was your chance for me to cook for you?” Eddie teased as he drummed his fingers against the countertop. 

He watched those lovely brown eyes roll to the back of her head. She had red glitter eyeshadow on today. She was wearing an AC/DC shirt with a pair of black jeans and a pair of red Converse. It always amazed him how well Jensen matched down to her pair of socks. 

“I would hardly call slapping meat on a sandwich cooking, Eds,” he retorted. 

“See, with that attitude, I’m revoking the free cookie I was going to give you.” He told her with the waggle of a finger. 

Jensen giggled. “I was wondering if you wanted to stop by after work. We can have a movie marathon or something. I know you work the morning shift, but you can stay the night if you want.”

Eddie’s head snapped up at her words. Things had been progressing slowly between the two. Not that he minded. But spending the night meant potentially sharing the same bed. 

He cleared his throat. “Um, yeah, sure, if that’s okay.”

Jensen smiled. “So, what do you recommend?”

Eddie gave her a lecherous smile as he tapped his lips pointedly. Jensen rolled her eyes as she leaned over the counter and gave him a kiss. 

“I don’t think Eddie Munson kisses are on the menu!” Andy hollered from behind him. 

Eddie packed a simple overnight bag. He had been a tad bit embarrassed about showing Jensen his place. It wasn’t warm like hers. His place was impersonal. A place just to rest his head. It wasn’t as cluttered as he had it back at his Uncle’s. He still had some of his posters and all his music with a small TV, but that was about it. He preferred having his rent paid than an actual dining room set or TV. 

Jensen didn’t comment on his lack of material possessions, but she did admire his sweetheart that he had hung on the wall. 

He didn’t know what to expect for this movie night. His palms were sweaty as he sat on her soft couch. He didn’t expect anything to happen. Things were going at a nice pace and if he was honest with himself, he had no idea what he was doing. 

The world of dating and intimacy was new to him. 

Eddie rubbed his face as before the movie it subjected him to participating in her nightly skincare routine. By the extra headband he had to wear and the bonnet she got for him, he suspected she was planning this for a while. He could admit his skin was nice and soft. Smooth to the touch. Or hydrated, as Jensen pointed out. 

Jensen came back in with the bowl of popcorn. She swore a very appealing cheetah print shorts with a black tank. It didn’t leave much to the imagination, and he liked the way her ass looked. 

She settled next to him and placed the bowl on her lap. He pressed play with the remote to the VCR, starting the movie. Jensen was a horror movie queen. Eddie leaned towards the fantasy realm. He loved the action adventures. Not saying he didn’t enjoy a good horror, he had a good knowledge of them, but Jensen did put him to shame with all the trivia and behind the scene facts. He believed she enjoyed them due to the practical effects and makeup. It fit with her being an artist. 

They stayed pressed together on her couch. Jensen would interject little trivia facts. They had gotten to the end of their popcorn, leaving them with buttery fingers. Eddie had been about to move to grab them some napkins when he watched Jensen pop her fingers in her mouth. She chucked on them like a cherry lollipop. 

He imagined her tongue swirling around the tips of the appendages. He swallowed the lump in his throat as she showcased the spit soaked tips glistening in the glow throughout the living room. Christ, Eddie felt himself getting hard. 

He shifted in his spot, as he knew he would need to make a trip to the bathroom soon. However, the moment caused Jensen to look at him. He knew he needed to make a quick escape as he looked at those full lips shiny in butter and spit. 

He waved his hand out. “Uhh…I…need to wash my hands.”

“Wait.”

Jensen grabbed his greasy hand, and he was going to question what she was doing when she popped the tip of one of his fingers in his mouth and sucked. 

“Shit.”

He felt her tongue swipe at his finger and he choked out a moan. 

“Jen…I…ummm,” he was at a lost for words as he felt himself fatten in his very light cotton pajama pants. 

She gave him some mercy as she released his finger with a pop. “Do you not like it?”

“Oh, I do,” Eddie admitted. His face was hot with lust and nervousness. “It’s just you do things like that…” He trailed off and her gaze went to the tent forming in his shorts. 

“You know I have seen your dick before,” she remarked with a tease. 

“Trust me, I know, but…I mean…” Eddie took a breath. “I’m a virgin,” he admitted, as he didn’t know where this night was going to go. He just wanted to prepare her for any disappointment. 

“Really?” She asked in disbelief. 

He scratched his head and nodded. “I wasn’t…lets just say I’m surprised you give me any attention.”

“I guess their loss then,” Jensen stated. 

“Your gain?” He joked. Jensen’s face heated. “Are you a virgin?”

“No. I had a boyfriend in high school. He was my first.”

Eddie nodded. 

“Does that bother you?” 

“Oh, no. I figured one of us should know what we are doing. Why would it?”

She shrugged. “Most guys get weird about those things.”

“I thought we figured out I’m not most guys.”

Jensen licked her lips. “Do you want me to take care of that?” She motioned to his erection, which was not going down anytime soon. 

“Um, do you want to?” 

Jensen nodded enthusiastically and moved from the couch to down to the floor in between his knees. He gulped. 

He helped her shimmy his shorts and boxers down. “I don’t think I’m going to last long,” he warned. This was the first time he ever had a girl down there. He was sure as soon as she touched him, he was going to explode. 

“That’s okay,” she told him as she stood taller on her knees. Her hands gripped his heated flesh, causing a drip of pre-cum to dribble out from the tip. He choked as she gave him a kitty lick. 

“You're so pretty, Eddie,” she crooned before licking him from base to tip. 

“Red and swollen and leaking all for me. Ain’t that right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie croaked as he gripped the couch’s cushion. 

He watched as she sucked on his mushroom tip and Eddie couldn’t even describe the noise that escaped from his throat. 

He cursed when she took him fully in her mouth, and he felt the back of her throat. 

“Fuck, shit, baby, I don’t think…” he could already feel that tightening in his balls and that tingling at the base of his spine. She took him out of her mouth and his throat went dry as a string of spit was on her lips connected to his dick. 

“I want you to come in my mouth, okay,” she told him before he had a chance to ask if she was sure as she sucked on his tip again and her tongue swiped at his slit. 

“Jen, I’m coming,” he told her as he accidentally bucked his hips into her mouth and he coated her throat. She hummed around him as she took it all and kept him there until he was spent. 

She took him out of her mouth gently and it embarrassed him at how quick he came. 

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed,” Jensen told him from between his knees. “Did you like it?”

“Of course, I liked it,” Eddie said with a chuckle. 

Jensen smiled and Eddie leaned forward and place a kiss on her mouth and found he didn’t mind the taste of him on her tongue. 

“Can I return the favor?” He asked. 

“You don’t have to feel obligated.”

“I don’t. I want to,” he reassured her. “Just show me what you like.”

“Okay, let’s go to my room,” she suggested. They don’t bother cleaning up the living room as they head to her room. Eddie tucked himself back into his shorts and trailed after her. Nervous butterflies in his belly. 

Jensen removed her glasses and placed them on her nightstand. She sat in the middle of the bed with her. She removed her shirt and bottoms, leaving her bare before him. He joined her on the bed and immediately brought her into a kiss. He gave her a deep, wet kiss as his hands trailed to her bare breasts and gave them a squeeze. His ringed fingers swiped against the hardened bud. Jensen’s back arched and she gasped into his mouth. 

He gave her spongy kisses on her jaw as she trailed down to her neck. His mouth left a trail of hickeys on her neck and chest. She seemed to love the cool contrast of his rings to her heated skin if her moans and pants were any indication. 

His thigh was coated with her wetness as she rubbed herself against him. He could feel himself hardening at the thought of only his thigh getting her off. He popped off her nipple with a loud smack. 

Her hands were tangled in his hair, and her eyes looked black, like a demon in the darkness of her room and with her dilated pupils. 

He licked and nipped at her tummy as he made the venture down south. She had soft curls that showcased her arousal. His mouth watered at the sight. 

Her soft hand grabbed his, and she placed it on her swollen pink button. 

“This —ahhh,” her words got caught off as she parted her lips and gave her a long swipe. Her taste was tangy and intoxicating. Jensen’s legs try to cage him, but he uses his hands to bring them down on the bed to lie flat. 

“Eddie,” she whined as he sucked on her clit. 

“Shh, I got you,” he cooed as he licked and sucked in intervals. 

“Are you sure you haven’t done this before?” Jensen questioned between sharp mewls. 

“Positive,” he told her as he felt her juices stain his face. “But if you can make full sentences, I don’t think I’m doing my job right.”

He brushed his nose against her clit as he stuck his tongue inside her hole. Jensen released a strangled scream, and he felt her fingers grip his hair tightly as she tried to ride his face. 

Eddie doubled his efforts, and he released one of his hands off her thigh as he brought a finger down to her hole and gently pushed it in and they both moan as she accommodated his finger eagerly. 

He curled his finger and gave her clit a hard suck, and he felt another gush of wetness and her pussy tighten around his finger. Jensen’s grip on his hair was painful as she released drawn-out moan. Her thighs tried to cage his head as she rode out her high. 

Eddie gave her a soft, sweet kiss on her pussy. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

Jensen laughed. 

[hoodiewithhorns]

━  using your safeword scenarios p.2 ★

characters :  koshi sugawara, atsumu miya, kotaro bokuto 

i decided to make this the p.2 and include suga since like 3 ppl asked for him so yeah !!

p.1   + m.sterlist + requests  

(please read the rules before requesting ty.)

▼ cw :  not proof read, f! reader , size kink + not enough prep , spanking, dumbification, degradation, daddy/master kink, dacryphilia,  hurt + comfort, red! used as safeword, authority kink, angst, established relationship, all characters are 18+, MDNI ▲

Sugawara 

- he was always a softie to you

- praising you at everything you did and calling you a goodgirl too <3

- but when you reunited with your friends from highschool they all talked about how their partners would go rough on them bringing you curiosity on the thought of suga being rough with you

- they teased you for having such a soft boyfriend while they went on and on about how you should try it out too.

〜 ☆

- you wondered what would make him tick so you tried being a bit bratty when you got home

- you’d reply with “make me” and he was clueless he’d just go “uhh..okay? can you please sit down?”

- having enough of it he confronted you about it 

he hovered over you on top of the couch, staring into your eyes with worry. “y/n what’s gotten into you today? are you okay honey?” his voice was soft, full of  concern. you sighed avoiding his worrisome gaze at you. you felt bad for making your boyfriend become worry about you. he at first assume you had a bad day with your friends since you never acted so bratty towards him.

you took a deep breath now turning to face him completely, with your face slowly heating up. “its nothing koshi..i just wanted to try something” he titled his head in confusion at your words. “you wanted to try to be a brat to me? why would you wanna do that?” your cheeks now fully red in embarrassment. “n-no i thought maybe you could be a bit more um..rough with me..” he blinked a few times to analyze what you just told him.

i-its fine if you don’t want t-to!” you covered your face with your hands while he sighs in relief glad you weren’t having a bad day. he chuckled, pulling you into his arms to have you seated on his lap. “now what brought this up my love?” he asks kissing your forehead while he roams his hand through your hair. “well.. my friends said they really enjoyed it when their partners were rough with them and i just wanted to try it out so i thought being bratty might you know...make you wanna put me in my place and stuff..” you shyly spoke as you fiddle with your hands, a sign of nervousness he’s picked up from having dating you so long. 

“you sure baby?” his voice now sounding serious. the sad part was you weren’t entirely sure if you wanted this. feeling pressured to do it if you were being honest. you were fine with the way sex with suga was soft, nice and sweet. you did enjoy when he would speed up his thrusts when his high was approaching, but even at that you’d let tears fall at the stretch of him going fast. 

ignoring your uncertainty, you nodded looking him in the eyes. he could tell you were still nervous, but if you were okay about it he couldn’t say no to his princess. he kissed your cheek while getting close to your ear, whispering seductively “well since you were all bratty don’t you think you deserve a bit of punishment?” you looked up at him with clueless eyes, clenching your thighs together at his new tone. 

“um o-okay..koshi-”

“master, let’s go with that alright princess?”

you nodded letting him position you down on his lap, your stomach on his knees and head resting on the couch cushion. “ you know the safeword right darling?” you tried to look up at him, but your movements being limited. 

“yes koshi..”

“koshi?” he questions.

“ah i-i mean master!” you quickly corrected yourself. 

he patted your head smiling at your obedience. “goodgirl..now then” he tugged the waistband of your skirt smirking at your eager wiggle for him to remove them faster still felling uneasy, but full of anticipation  at what suga had in store for you. “now now, be patient you’re not supposed to enjoy your punishment you know?” 

“m’ sorry master..” he slid your skirt down, removing it finally, tossing it to the side of the living room, leaving you with nothing but underwear that was soaked with your juices. he rubbed soothing circles on your asscheek before he placed a mean slap on it. you jumped at the unexpected sting, your eyes starting to water with no tears falling just yet. “such a naughty thing huh?” landing another slap on your ass rubbing it to sooth the pain. the sting feeling good but the words he spoke starting to get you, breaking you down one by one. 

“what happened to my goodgirl huh? she came home so bratty..such a badgirl.” your pupils shrunk at the fact he called you bad. goodgirl was something he’d always call you making you blush and smile but the fact now you were his badgirl set something off in you. 

you wanted to push the feeling off you really did, but the slaps on your ass made you feel hazy and your tears started to fall on the couch. “why so quiet?you sure had a lot to say when you came home. is my badgirl finally gonna take her punishment like she’s supposed too?” slapping your ass once more leaving hand prints on it now that were bound to stay for awhile. 

you didn’t respond, instead you just sobbed in on yourself feeling small and pathetic that the fact he called you a badgirl was enough to make tears stain your cheeks. he froze turning you to face him on his lap. “hey baby you okay?was it too much??” 

“r-red..” finally speaking, he quickly pulled you in his embrace peppering your faces with kisses letting out soft apologies. “why’d you force yourself baby?” he whispers kissing you softly yet full of love.

“i-i’m still your goodgirl... right? i didn’t mean to be bad i promise..i thought i could take it but..” the feeling of guilt starting to take over you.

“but what baby you can say it i won’t get mad, i could never” you rested your head on his shoulder wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“i couldn’t..i like it when you’re soft with me..c-can we do that instead?? please master!”

he smirked at the fact you called him master, it made his cock twitch in his jeans. relief he didn't hurt you, he started kissing down your neck, letting one hand wander up your shirt to play with your hardening nipple. 

“of course. whatever my goodgirl wants. just please never force yourself to do anything ever again till you’re 100% okay with. got it?”

“yes master.”

Atsumu

- this man is kinda like kuroo 

- heavy with his degradation. 

- you didn’t mind ofc!! he’d reassure you he didn't mean what he said with his aftercare

- but tonight, he told you to ride him since you were being extra needy for him.

- he wanted to tease you and not fully give in and help you cum just to mess with you and have you beg.

-and well...he may have mixed in some dumbification.

- lets just say you might have taken some things to heart.

he clicked his tongue disappointed at your attempts to bounce on his cock. it hurt just dropping onto his dick but each time you bounced on it, you could feel the painful drag stretching your walls open making you sob. “come on..that all you got? it’s no fun having a dumb crybaby on my cock.” him calling you dumb catches you off guard, but choosing to ignore it you tried again this time quickening your pace.

he didn’t even let a grunt at the feeling just staring at you with a look of disapproval, already panting in exhaustion. he sighed getting tired of seeing you’re pathetic movements, he pushed you back down to take initiative having his cock still stuffed inside you. you let out a yelp at the unexpected change as he started rutting his hips into you, using your hips as support to hold himself, you moaned gripping his shoulders for support as your eyes rolled back to your head.

“was that so hard? i thought dumb needy sluts would try harder to try and get what they want.” he tutted, ramming into you meaner and harder, his cock grazing the tip of your cervix. you choked out a sob trying to look back at him, starting to not like were this was going.“m’..i was  trying my best daddy..”

“were you though? as always my dumb slut needs her daddy to step in and help her since she can’t do anything right.” the last sentence making your heart stop and everything around you freeze. did he really see you this way? as a dumb needy slut who can’t do anything right? you thought back to all the times you needed his help even beyond sex like when you’d ask him to help you get something that was too high up for you at a store, needed him to walk you home cause you weren’t strong enough to defend yourself. 

all these memories making your head feel dizzy. did he mean it??he never complained he was always happy to help his girlfriend. you started to continuously sob out apologies. your tears being easily mistaken for tears of pleasure, which only turned him on even more. 

“aw.” he faked sympathy for you with a frown, grabbing your chin to look at him. “its okay, daddy will find a use for you. after all the only thing you��re good at is being a dumb cocksleeve for me to pump full.” his eyes were dark when he spoke almost sadistically. the pleasure you were once receiving from him started turning to pain making you scream. 

“no more!! red! red! please atsumu stop!” he pulled out the second you tried pushing him off. 

he took a step-back watching as you slowly breakdown in front of him. he was scared, terrified even at seeing you so hurt you went as far as to use the little strength in you to push him off. 

he got off the bed running to the bathroom to grab a towel to wipe you. he returned sitting at the foot of the bed slowly approaching you with shaky hands. proceeding to wipe your tears away with it, glad you didn’t flinch at him. 

“hey..no more tears it’s okay its okay─i didn’t mean it i swear!” his voice cracked, with his eyes starting to water as well. you flipped yourself over to rest your head on his thigh. “thank god.” he mumbled looking up in relief. he was scared you were mad at him or was mad at him forever. 

the room was silent for a few minutes with only the movements of atsumu playing with your hair telling you over and over again how sorry he was.

“am i really that useless atsu..?” you mumbled, the thought of you calling yourself useless, being drilled into your head by atsumu made his heart sink. he quickly corrects you, pulling you up off his thigh into a tight hug, swinging you back and forth like a toddler. 

“NO! NO! thats untrue! i-i’m so sorry you’re not useless! you a very useful pretty baby that i love more than a-anything so don’t ever say that!” his tears falling down his cheeks hitting your skin. you started to feel your tears come up again too. you didn’t precisely see him cry, but you could tell by his broken tone he was almost as hurt as you. 

you wrapped your arms around him, as he gripped onto you tighter, scared you’d runaway or leave. 

“i’m sorry baby....i promise to never call you those things ever again.” he promised pulling away to look you in the eyes. you smiled making his heart skip a beat. 

“let’s go to sleep okay prettygirl?”

Bokuto

- he can get out of hand

- i wouldn’t say bokuto would be as rough vocally as the previous ones.

- HOWEVER, his cock is something you’ll never get used to

- each time you two did he had to prep you and even then it still hurt.

- you never complained though it was always temporary.

- he came home after a stressful game and only won because of pure luck.

- he was tired and needed to blow off steam immediately

- you being his cute wife was happy to help <3

he sloppily kissed down your neck, unbuttoning your shirt to have a turn at your breasts. you bit your lip to suppress your moans. “come on baby make some noise will ya?” he said removing your shorts completely before sucking at your clit making you wince, your eyes screwed shut at the pleasure. he began to stuff a finger in you feeling you clench around his finger.

“yeah just like that─fuck you’re really wet baby.” he licked his lips at the sight of your wet cunt. removing his finger completely, while running his thumb up and down your folds. he was getting impatient wanting to just ruin you already. he unbuckled his pants removing it quickly not remembering how big he was compared to you. removing his boxers just to let his cock spring free. you opened your eyes to see his tip slowly enter you. 

“w-wait bo! need more p-prep!”

“come on baby your a big girl right? you can take it.” your head fell back into the pillow as tears streamed down your cheeks at the stretch. no matter no many times bokuto fucked you it still hurt. you gripped a chunk of the bed sheets in your fists tightly, holding onto it for your dear life. 

he slowly went in you fully throwing his head back at how your gummy walls clenched around him so tightly. he knew it hurt you but it brought him a lot of pleasure that it did. the fact your tiny little hole would stretch pass its limit just to accumulate his fat cock was almost enough to make him cum right there.

he stilled for a few seconds, only to thrust roughly into you like a man starved of lust. you screamed as his fat cock dragged along your walls at the abnormal pace.  you didn’t know if you could last if you were being honest, it hurt it really did. normally, it would last a few thrusts but this time it lasted way too long for your liking. 

“bo! please s-slow down─ah!” he sped up his paces being too lost in his own pleasure to hear you. “bo!” you screamed still not getting his attention. 

feeling uneasy you let out a yell of the safeword “RED!” he halted his thrusts looking down at your face that was streaming with tears. 

‘oh no oh no i─ baby i’m sorryyyy!” his hair flopping down going into his emo mode. he collapsed on top of you falling on your breasts looking up at you like a wounded puppy. you chuckled and played with his hair while he hugged you tightly. still in you.

“ its okay bo..” you smiled while he got off your breast to cup your face kissing it softly. 

“i’m sorry i didnt realize i was hurting you baby─ do you want me to stop we can stop!-”

“no bo its okay!its okay!” you quickly reassured kissing his cheek falling back on the bed rubbing your remaining tears away.

“just go slow okay? then when i’m fully ‘adjusted’ you can go fast and as rough as you want.”

you whispered making his emo mode fade away and his face light up with glee like he just won a prize.

“r-really? as rough as i want?” he asked making sure, you smiled in response. “yes bo. just start slow okay? i promise.” he nodded placing his hands at your sides to thrust slowly into you. he lowered himself to you and you wrapped your arms and legs around him while he began to kiss you passionately. 

☆〜 

 bokuto’s is really soft he’s a goofball and i love em sm. also never wrote for suga before?? i hope you suga stans liked it tho it was kinda hard to write him since i don’t seem him as the type to degrade his partner he’s just here to please his baby.

i still am taking requests all links are above and down here. remember to drink water. oh and heres the m.sterlist in case you missed it <3♡