#fucking. call her daddy if you really have to. thats more her energy anyways

[thermodynamic-comedian]

extremely petty grievance to have but i kind of dislike how in tmagp, we were given an older female character that explicitly says she has no interest in having children and shows discomfort at being seen as a mother figure. and then the fandom decided to put her into that role anyways. let lena kelley be just some guy 2k24

[knyontop]

bowers gang hcs?

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PLEASE SEND MORE BOWERS GANG REQUESTS GUYSIGHHSIBJHSIHGJ

Ft: Henry bowers, Patrick hocksetter, Victor criss, Belch huggins.

Tw: dark stuff remember its the bowers gang!!!

Henry:

・Henry is the most aggressive and just mean😭

・you give him one wrong look and your already a target for him.

・depending on how much he hates you is how far he will go.

・He deff has some doggys!!!!

・hes a dog person confirmed ^_^

・he has two dogs, both are German shepherds (cant think of any names so just make them up..)

・hes had sex with like five girls, maybe even more. But they dont mean anything to him he just needs a good fuck every once in a while.

・he mostly goes for nasty bitches (thats all there is in darry) but if hes lucky there will be one sweet, innocent girl he can corrupt. (He has a thing for the innocent ones)

・Henrys favorite color is red im confirming it :3

・he stays out late so he doesn’t have to go home to his shit dad, he hangs with his friends but he also likes his alone time.

・when he was younger i just know he loved trucks😭

・a truck is definitely his dream car💪🏻💪🏻

・Henry doesn’t like loud children and he doesn’t like crowds because its so annoying trying to get through and its loud as hell.

・he is not scared to get into a little kids face and tell them to shut up and if they really push it he might slap em’ on the head.

・i feel like when he was younger he definitely wanted a sibling he wanted a younger sibling to hang out with and make into like a mini him just someone he could protect and hang with. (He still kinda does)

・anger issues, daddy issues, asshole issues, what do you expect?

・henry bowers getting therapy when??

・bro looks at himself in the mirror and just admires himself bc he knows hes hot😭

・AS HE SHOULDDDD

・i would like to say hes pretty good at skateboarding like i just have an image of him when he was younger with his little crew and there just skating☹️☹️

・but he thinks he doesn’t have time for it anymore, only on rare occasions he does it. (Vic still skates often tho)

・but yeah henry bowers is pretty fire🔥🔥

Patrick:

・the most sadistic and cruel like we all know that.

・bro is just born this way no sad backstory nothing😭

・I imagine that its just him and his mom, and his mom is a sweet angel while hes just the devil.

・his dad left after he killed his little brother, and Patricks okay with that. Never like his old man anyways.

・he has some type of caring for his mom I mean like deep deep inside somewhere you will find a little care.

・he does not care about your race or sexuality at all like the only thing he will care about is if your a girl because he believes that men are better than woman.

・little patrick was like, “MOM GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN!”

・complete menace smh.

・but yeah he doesn’t care he just calls you slurs and stuff because he loves humiliating people😭 the rush he feels it gives him a feeling of what its like to even feel something.

・he doesn’t have a favorite color, he thinks thats stupid and childish. Like who gives a fuck? (I DO☹️)

・no filter. Speaks his mind.

・”Fucking whore.”

・evilest laugh EVER.

・”if i laugh during a fight run” ah💀

・deep deep down he has a soft spot for his little gang and his mom, deep, deep, deeeeeep down.

・he wants to feel things he just doesn’t, so, feeling that rush of excitement or sexual energy or desire helps him feel emotions and he doesn’t care if its bad at least hes feeling it!

Victor:

・hes the smartest like he got those straight A’s in elementary🙏🏻🙏🏻

・i just know hes a cat person like he holds in a coo when hes those little furballs☹️

・has two siblings >3< a little brother and a little sister!!!

・and hes a pretty decent big bro to.

・took them to the park, helps his little sister tie her shoes, but just bc there his little siblings doesn’t mean hes not afraid to get rough with them. Hes in the bowers gang for a reason.

・hes like the stereotypical bully, pinning people down shoving them a little bit maybe a little beat dowm mocking and teasing his victims.

・never to far ig…

・Victor’s favorite color is green, yeah pretty obvious ik ik☹️☹️

・he cuts his own hair!!! Hes pretty smart when hes not being a asshole.

・i feel like if he wasn’t a bully he would have so much potential.

・buttt anywho he has old note books that he used to journal in when he was younger he thinks its stupid now that hes older. (I promise its not)

・he likes making Henry proud because i mean hes his leader why wouldn’t he want to please him?

・he grew up in a srict household, when he was 8 he realized rules are stupid.

・they are all little shits omds.

・he used to want to be a cop but look where he is nowwww..

・woops!

・funfact: hes pretty good with kids sense he has little siblings, he just doesn’t have a lot of patience.

Belch:

・most empathetic, his actor even said he was more human than the others he was not as evil as the others.

・i feel like hes a 100% mamas boy he hates his dad, his parents split up so he takes care of his mom behind the scenes.

・he has one little sister which she is the exact opposite of him like literally shes just a sweet little bundle of joy with her taller and bigger intimidating older brother next to her with his arms crossed.

・might be a better older brother than vic ngl😪

・now im not saying hes gentle or nice hes still an asshole hes not a good person im just saying hes nicer than the others.

・he intimates kids, shoves them around, never anything as bad as henry gets with his strength.

・Belch likes to make people intimidated, he feels strong. He feels good.

・belch is a dog person but he thinks cats are okay, but definitely a dog person.

・hes got a little pug <\3

・which he keeps his pug ten yards away from patrick because that pug is his baby.

・to any of patricks fat jokes hes like “Im big boned asshole!”

・close enough welcome back eric cartman.

・I feel like his favorite color would be blue or orange.

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I had fun making this :33 PLEASE SEND MORE REQUESTS FOR THE BOWERS GANG!!

[helplesslyblue77]

It Felt So Wrong(It Felt So Right)

Genre: Smut, minors dni

Pairing: Step Dad!Bang Chan x Reader, Step Bro!Felix x Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Step-Sibling Incest, Step Dad!Chan, Step Brother!Felix, Smut, slight degration, Daddy Kink, use of slut, Moral Dilemmas but less than youd think because the author is lazy as fuck

Notes: its very much focused on the reader and there is no m/m action cause chan and felix r related and thats to much even for me,

ok so...you know how its like 3 am and you just had a whole cryfest about how knowone will ever love you and you are obsessing over men who dont even know you exist? and then you feel dumb and take a shower and chug an energy drink while you eat Pizza and smash out like four chapters of your WIP and one very dirty convoluted oneshot????

Yeah.

Anyway i literally cannot watch any clips from Bang Chan's lives the man makes me so Delulu its not ok.

The Title is from 'I Kissed a Girl' by Katy Perry, i love that song man.

You had just turned fourteen when your mother had come home, sat you down at the table, and announced she was getting married. You had not been surprised. You wished her well and snuck upstairs while she talked loudly on the phone with her friends, hardly sparing you a glance.

Your mother seemed to bring home a new man every few years, and at this point, you barely even cared.

And she barely spared a thought for you as well. You were well-fed and had your credit card, but you lacked the love only a parent could give you. Your mother was much too caught up in her pretty jewels and visits to the country club to pay you much thought. 

She was selfish, your mother, and used her pretty face and ample figure to get whatever she wanted in life, whether it be money, clothes, or men, she could have it all. The other men your mother seemed to favor never really spared you a glance, too caught up in your mother's boob job to pay attention to her only daughter, so you really had no expectations when it came to this new man.

But when you were finally introduced, you noticed how he was different.

He looked at you, smiled at you, and acknowledged your presence unlike so many of the others had. He even brought you a gift, a pretty silver necklace with a small charm.

He was handsome, and of course much younger than your own mother. Christopher, he said his name was, and he smiled at you warmly, introducing his son to you. Felix was sweet, pretty with a smile like the sun and the two of you hit it off immediately, rushing indoors to play video games while your parents snuck off.

You pretended not to know what they were doing. 

You adjusted well to the two of them, Felix transferred into your school and you showed him around, introducing him to your friends. He meshed well into your small group and in no time at all, you were happy as can be. You hoped they would stick around, your mother tended to trade off men very quickly., tossing out the old and bringing in the new every few years.

It was the first time you could remember hoping she didn't get a new boy toy, hoping that Chris and Felix would stick around. But then, in your Junior year of high school, it happened.

You remembered the frantic call from the hospital. Felix’s hand gripped your own tightly as you watched your mother's monitor flatline. You felt guilty, like maybe you should have felt more devastated, but truthfully, you weren't that sad.

You shed tears later, however, wetting the sunny yellow of Felix’s favorite t-shirt. It wasn't the fact that your mother was gone, no, it was your stepfather's devastated face that made you sob like a baby in Felix’s arms. 

You hadn't loved your flighty, unreliable mother, but your stepfather had. Even though you all knew she had been cheating on him the last few months.

Your mother is dead now, and it was all in the past. 

It all began on that very night, the night your mother died. Your seventeenth birthday had passed barely a few weeks before and you had fingered the pretty necklace they had given you as you ate. Your mother hadn't gotten you a present, but Felix and your stepdad had, and they had spent extra time with you when they noticed your mother was ignoring you as usual.

You remembered how Felix’s pretty face had lit up with a smile when he handed you the gift, Chris subtly shoving a card across the table.

They liked to give you jewelry, and you liked to receive it. It felt nice to be dressed up and you kind of understood why your mother liked it so much. The card had a few hundred in it, and a handwritten note from both of them, telling you how much they cared about you.

You had cried later that night, curled up in Felix’s arms as usual, and thanked him over and over. He had just laughed and comforted you as always. That night, you realized how nice it was to have people who cared about you, people who enjoyed hanging out with you, and who valued the things you had to say.

You dared to think that you were glad your mother was dead, so you could have a real family, all to yourself. 

The next day, when your small family moved away from your mother's empty cold house, Chris(As he had insisted you call him) reassured you that they would always care for you that you were their family, that you could live with them as long as you wished.

You felt your cold dead heart, so hardened by your mother's uncaring attitude, begin to blossom in your chest. You noticed, for the first time, how pretty Felix was, with his blond hair and the freckles dotting his skin, how firm his chest felt from years of martial arts when he pressed you up against it. You noticed the caring way he looked at you, the way he comforted you when you were sobbing your eyes out over a dumb boy, or how he always made sure to buy you your favorite drinks from the store. 

You noticed your stepfather's dimples when he smiled at you, his muscly arms when he lifted your things and carried them into the house. You noticed the way he would go out of his way to make your favorite foods when he saw you were down, how he didn't get a new girlfriend, probably because he thought you would be upset about it.

You noticed how they cared about you, but most of all, you noticed they were men. And it would plague your mind for years to come.

It started out innocent. Your heart sped up when they came to close, dreams of kissing plump familiar lips, blushing cheeks.

But then it became worse. 

And the day of your eighteenth birthday, you awoke sweaty and panting in your bed, two forbidden names falling from your mouth. 

You had never considered them as family, not really. Chris was your mother's new toy, and Felix was more of a friend than a brother. That careless attitude was coming back to haunt you.

So you left.

Packed your bags and went off to boarding school. It gave you a break from the suffocating tension that seemed to settle over the house with the loss of your mother. It made you feel guilty, here Chris was so broken up about your mother while you thirsted about him, fantasized about him bending you over the table and taking you ruthlessly. When Felix would smile at you, asking to cuddle and all you could think about was his pretty mouth doing other things to you. 

You couldn't take it anymore. 

Your twenty-first birthday was only a few days away when you returned from, settling back into your old room and your old routine. 

Chris welcomed you back with open arms, hugging you warmly and stroking your hair. “Missed you babygirl.” He would murmur in your ear, and you tried not to shiver at the familiar nickname. 

“Missed you too Chris.” With a pat on your back, he hoisted your luggage up and disappeared inside, arms flexing.

Felix tackled you in a hug next, pressing his lithe body into your back. He'd grown while you were gone, shoulder filling out and arms flexing as he hugged you tightly in a sweet back hug. You tried not to imagine what it would feel like if he was doing something else in this position. But this was Felix, he would never even imagine anything like that. 

“Missed you Oppa.”

He kissed your neck, and you breathed in his clean scent of sunflowers and things you couldn't quite place. He smelled like home. You jostled against him, accidentally rubbing your but against him and he flinched, pulling away slightly.

You froze, it couldn't be, right? Your sweet innocent brother Felix would never…

He pulled away fully and you decided it was best to ignore it for now, so you grabbed his hand, leading him in. 

He smiled at you, and you grinned back. “Dad and I made you a welcome back dinner, it's gonna be great.”

He let you lead him inside, the screen door slamming behind the two of you. You were home.

𝄑𝄑𝄑

You loved being back. The familiar smell of Chris’s cooking, your video game nights with Felix, and most of all, having a family again. But you still couldn't shake that tension. You knew you were the problem and it made you feel guilty. It was hard to cuddle on the couch with Felix when all you could think about was riding him right on this very couch.

It was hard to work out with Chris when you just wanted him to take you in the dirty gym over the workout machines.

But then, on the eve of your twenty-first birthday, when you were all gathered around the table serving the delicious chocolate cake you and Felix had made, you noticed something. 

Maybe it was the way their gazes were focused on you, maybe it was the lighting, playing tricks on your brain, but you swore you saw a flicker of desire in their eyes. You shook it off, sighting your horny imagination, and enjoyed your cake, but you could never really forget it.

Over the next few weeks, you noticed things. Lingering glances, guilty eyes flicking away from your cleavage when you wore low-cut shirts when you had sunbathed out by the pool and Chris had come out, dragging his eyes away from your figure as he handed you a glass of homemade lemonade. Or the fact that Felix had laundry duty and some of your panties had mysteriously gone missing. 

They both wanted you, that was obvious, but lingering doubts stopped them from just taking you, taking what they wanted. They seemed to think you didn't want them, but oh how wrong they were. They just needed a little push.

So you hatched a plan.

𝄑𝄑𝄑

Your plan was set in motion on a Saturday night. Chris had just gotten back from work, and you bounced over to him, all smiles. “Hey Chris, Felix is gone, and I really wanna watch this movie.” You pouted as he removed his coat, sending him those puppy eyes you knew he was weak for. “Watch it with me.”

He nodded, like the weak man he was, and met your sweet smile as you grabbed his hand, bouncing happily over to the couch and pushing him down. “Gonna go change.”

You make sure to wear your sluttiest pj set, a silk lace tank top, and some matching undies, and bounce back downstairs, plopping yourself down and cuddling up to Chris. “Ready.”  Is all you said, grabbing the remote and starting the movie.

He coughs a little, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Aren't you a little cold? Your Pj’s are, um, small.”

You smile up at him innocently, standing up. “Maybe a little, but you're so warm.” You say, and plop down right in his lap. “There, problem solved.” You smile up at him and he smiles back tightly, hands automatically gripping your hips and adjusting you slightly.

You feel your pussy throb at that unexpected show of strength. You're going to go insane if one of your hot sudo family members doesn't fuck you this instant.

So you ramp it up. 

Pretending to be cold, you move backward, jostling around on his lap intentionally. He grunts a little, hands on your waist making butterflies flutter in your stomach.

\You're winning though, you can tell when you move a little too much, and your but brushes up against something big and hard. He winces, opening his mouth to apologize, but his words dissolve in his throat as you grind down, head falling against his shoulder. 

His voice is hoarse when he speaks, “We should stop.”

You grind your core directly on his length and you both groan. His hands move your hips, grinding them against him. He speaks again. “Tell me to stop.”

You can see the guilt in his eyes, the turmoil that wars within him so you shut him up with a kiss. 

“Chris. Fuck me.”

He tries to resist, you feel him brace to pull away, and so you move falling backward off the couch and pulling him with you as you crash to the floor. If you were less horny you would appreciate how he protects the back of your head as you fall, but at this moment you just need his hands on you, his lips on your own, his cock inside you—

So you reach up, sealing your lips in a kiss. He kisses back immediately, his tongue finding its way into your mouth. The kiss is wild, passionate, and hungry, weeks of pent-up lust and longing culminating in this very moment. 

He practically devours your mouth, hands ripping your pretty pj set in his hast as he rips it off. You whine in protest and he pulls away, kissing down your body. “Don't worry baby girl, I'll buy you another.”

Your core clenches at that nickname and you grip his hair, forcing his face down. He obliges, his hot breath teasing your wet core. His voice is a growl when he speaks. “So wet for me. Do you want my cock that much?”

You whine, bucking helplessly into the air. “Yes, want Daddy's cock.”

He chuckles, planting a sweet kiss on your clothed core as you writhe with need. “Such a pretty slut for Daddy.”

You whine and he finally pulls your panties aside, diving into your pussy like a man starved. The sounds that leave your mouth are sinful, moans and pants of his name ring off the walls of the living room.

You're so distracted you don't hear the sound of the front door slamming, Felix’s carefree humming as he makes his way down the hall, headphones blaring. 

𝄑𝄑𝄑

Felix felt guilty that he couldn't watch that movie with you, but the school called and his professor offered him a chance he simply couldn't turn down.

As he arrived home, however, headphones glued to his head, he practically skipped up the path, Happy to see you. He slammed the door open, closing it just as loudly and tromping down the hall, towards the kitchen. He was hungry, there were probably some leftovers in the fridge. He opened the door to the living room and froze, not believing his eyes.

There you were, spread out on the carpet, naked. And that was his dad between your legs.

Felix froze. He couldn't believe this. 

He had never been so jealous of somebody in his life.

It had started years ago when he had met you, to be honest. You were sweet and kind and irresistible to his teenage mind. And you liked prancing around the house in skimpy little crop tops and shorts and Felix was only a man. You were touchy too, always pressed against him and in his lap, and Felix had spent many a night huddled in his bed frantically jerking off as quietly as possible.

He still remembered that one time your little family had decided to go to the beach. Felix had suffered a lot that day, doing his best to not get hard as you pranced around the beach in that cute bathing suit, dragging him around as you usually did. And then you had asked him to put sunscreen on your back.

Felix might have died and gone to heaven that day.

It had only gotten worse and worse, and you got your heart broken by the jerks you dated. Felix knew he could have treated you so much better than those jerks, but he had accepted being there for you as you cried over those assholes, ignoring the throbbing in his chest and groin and comforting you the best he could. 

But then you had returned home from boarding school. Felix had thought you couldn't get more pretty than you already were, but you had. Your figure had filled out and you had become more confident. Your clothes had become skimpier and your legs longer and everything about you was just meant to taunt him.

You were irresistible, and he knew his dad was feeling your effect too, but to walk into this. 

Felix watched guiltily, his stomach roiling with jealousy and arousal and you gripped his dad's hair, bucking wilding into his face. He stumbled back, crashing into a coat rack. Your eyes shot up, meeting him and he looked away guiltily. 

He hurriedly bowed, stuttering out an apology, but you stopped the flow of words, crooking a finger at him. He stared at you in disbelief, and you nodded. He bounded over, ever the happy puppy and you turned over, on your hands and knees, presenting your ass to your daddy. He grinned at you, as Felix gripped your chin, kissing you sweetly as he fiddled with the zipper on his pants. You helped him, releasing him from the prison his pants had become.

Your mouth watered. How was it possible for a cock to be pretty? He was large as well and you stuck our tongue out, giving it a hesitant lick. He groaned and encouraged, you took him in your mouth, gagging around his girth. 

You moved slowly at first, getting used to his cock as his hands lodged themselves in your hair controlling your movements. You were so distracted you forgot about Chris, right up until you felt a hot heat brushing against your entrance. 

Chris chuckled darkly, the head of his cock nudging the walls of your pussy apart as he spears you open. You moan helplessly around Felix’s cock as he bottoms out, his cock impossibly deep in you.

His voice is a rasp when he speaks. “Look at you, a perfect little slut for Daddy. Taking your step-brother's cock so good.” You clench and he laughs. “You like that?”

He begins to move, long harsh thrusts that you feel in your gut, and Felix begins to fuck your face as well. You feel used, like a perfect little fuckdoll.

You love every minute of it. 

Chris leans over you, grunting those sexy words into your ear. “Look at you, taking daddy’s cock so well, like you were made for us.”

Felix’s pretty moans tangle with your own, creating a symphony of wounds. Felix speaks his voice full of wonder, “She’s so pretty, so perfect for us.” 

Chris chuckles, slapping your ass as Felis whimpers. 

You feel so full and perfect, your stomach pulsing with heat as you moan around Felix helplessly, trying to communicate with them. Felix speaks, his voice throaty. “I think she's cumming.”

Chris speeds up his thrusts. “You cumming around daddy’s cock you dirty girl?”

You moan helplessly and he chuckles, landing a harsh slap on your ass. “Felix, fuck her face. She likes it rough.” He nods, and obeys, gripping your cheeks and fucking you roughly. It's so unlike your sweet Felix, the kind boy with the sunshine smile, it makes you clench around Chris’s cock one more time. 

Chris feels it and his thrusts falter. “You want Daddy’s cum?” You nod helplessly, tears streaming down your face, muffled moans 

He flicks your clit and you come, screaming around Felix’s cock as he cums down your throat with a pretty moan. Chris grunts as he cums inside you, his thick cum dripping out of your hole as he pulls out. Felix lets your head fall forward, petting your hair as he pulls his still-hard cock out of your mouth. 

He looks up at his dad, “Can I have a turn?”

You whimper in response, pushing him down and sinking down on his length, Chris’s cum dripping out of your pussy. You both moan as he bottoms out, the stretch of a cock burning ever so slightly as he bucks up into you.

Big dick jeans run in the family it seems.

You hear footsteps and Chris grips your hair roughly, pulling your face up to look at him. Felix grips your hips and begins to fuck you down on him and you moan as Chris speaks again. “Do you like being used, pretty girl? You like being our obedient little fucktoy?” 

At your moan of acceptance, he chuckles, dropping your head and coming back around. You squeal as his fingers come in contact with your other hole, prying it open as he spits inside. Felix pulls you down into a kiss, still hammering inside you as his tongue fucks your mouth. Chris lines up his cock with your ass and without so much as a warming, bottoms out. You scream, overwhelming amounts of pain and pleasure rocking you.

You don't think you've ever taken so many large cocks at the same time.

Chris grunts, slapping your ass as he begins to thrust and matches pace with Felix as he grunts out, “Such a good little girl. Taking Daddy’s cock better than your mother ever did.”

You clench around him shamefully at the mention of your mother, your pride souring. He chuckles as Felix swallows your moans. 

“I've wanted to fuck you since you got back, Felix too. You're so irresistible, baby girl.”

Your fingers are drawing scratches in Felix’s freckled back as you clutch him tightly, Moaning up a storm as two cock drill into you, rendering you dumb and speechless.

You almost feel like they're fucking your brain out, and you clench around them, feeling that ever-present coil in your stomach tightens. 

Felix moves his hands, letting his dad control your hips and using them instead on your boobs, his lith fingers working magic on your hard nipples. You reward him by sucking hickeys into his pretty neck and he does the same, whimpering out your name as he bucks into you. You can tell he's going to cum and you are so close, almost there.

They both speed up their thrusts and Felix moves his hand, his fingers drawing small fast circles on your clit. With an embarrassingly loud moan, you cum, falling back onto Felix’s chest with a pant. 

Felix follows shortly after, pumping his cum into your greedy pussy. His dad follows not long after, with an unfairly attractive grunt.

He pulls out, and you feel their mixed seed dripping out of your fluttering holes, down your legs and onto the carpeted floor of the livingroom, dirtying your mothers favorite rug. 

Felix hoists you up, carrying you upstairs and settling you gently on his bed, stroking your hair as they clean you up. 

There's a lot that needs to be talked about, but for now, you pull them down with you, cuddling up with them as you drift off, surrounded by the people who care about you. 

originally posted on ao3 on 2023-05-29

reposted to tumblr on 2023-06-08

[scott-mccall-the-hot-girl]

my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!

( as a new teen wolf stan )

-

the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!

Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.

Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)

-

okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies

Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim

Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.

Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)

-

Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!

Artificial Love - songbvrd

Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.

Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)

-

so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!

The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR

Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”

Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.

Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)

-

me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*

Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape

Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”

Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”

Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.

-

okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical

Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.

(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)

Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )

-

so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.

(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite

Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.

Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.

Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )

-

okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!

two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!

for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!

whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )

go check out:

eneiryu

as well as fallingforboys

here are some of my favorite fics by them ~

darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys

even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys

memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys

skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys

i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys

whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys

between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu

cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu

-

okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore

my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene

it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…

Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach

Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.

Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.

Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )

[nonclassyparty]

firstly, tell me why i had that wooyoung shit figured OUT LMAOOO. I literally called it HAHAHA. the way i knew this fool was part of the fruit community

i love the idea that like this story and your writing in general continues to make me go, men ain’t shit fr. but then my tiktok has san getting scared while playing video games and mingi being called pink princess like 🧌.

reading this story with the prologue in mind is insane bc i get that technically no one has really done anything wrong yet ? per se. but san rlly is or ig…is going to be? a grade a asshole.

atp i can understand that sans not at fault (YET apparently) bc like, let’s be real LMAO the agreement was set in place and even y/n herself UNDERSTANDS it, she just continues to play into it bc of her feelings. i cant imagine how san ACTUALLY ends up fucking up (ig putting aside the fact that he couldn’t even be a friend or at the very least an acquaintance and help her w her assignment). like ik y/n probably WILL get mad but she doesn’t rlly hav the right to get mad at him for kissing that girl watever her name is cus she and san aren’t exclusive. but like regardless of the fact, i’m stil obv rooting for y/n bc she’s going through it and she’s being treated terribly by so many ppl for stupid reasons, esp w the knowledge that they all think so shallowly of her and don’t take into account any of her actual interests or experiences like damn.

AND THEN there’s like the fact that (entirely from context and my assumptions alone) y/n didn’t even outright SAY any of this or tell san how she felt until she wrote that letter AFTER THE FACT like ??? that’s INSANE like my brain is scrambling to finish the puzzle before i even hav all the pieces. like ik u said ur not sure about the ending but does san get the letter ? do we even see how he reacts to it ???? (i’m assuming she’ll tell wooyoung or hongjoong tbh)

ALSO i can’t get over the description of why yunho doesn’t like y/n like…damn, homie’s giving incel energy. giving nate jacobs wanting maddy to be a virgin energy (but not nate jacobs wanting maddy cus yunho apparently can’t handle high maintenance bad bitches). idk he’s giving very small peepee, in the closet, daddy issues energy and yeosangs got his own issues that we don’t even know about yet like don’t let me find out i’ll probably lose it.

i’m LITERALLY rambling nonsense and i’m at work rn. anyways amazing work ONCE AGAIN. i cant get over how you write and how you flesh out the characters. cant wait for my boy mingi to be properly introduced. let’s see how my emotions handle that.

-🧃

there is so much to discuss in this message hold on;

first of all, wooyoung being part of the skittles squad well idk how you got that right i'll be honest with you

this is exactly why when i write i have to stay away from atz content bc i went and watched the new wanteez eps today and i just cant write afterwards bc san is so fawking soft and precious how am i supposed to write him as a fuckboy that breaks hearts??? at one point i was like 'damn i shouldve picked someone else as the fuckboy for starring role' and not HIM😭😭

about san fucking up, it will happen in act 8 and i cant say anything else without giving away spoilers but yes! san never promised her anything, yn is aware of it and she knows where the two of them stand deep down but she just doesnt want to accept it (spoiler: that will basically be what the next chapter is about). also keep in mind that the story doesnt end with the letter, there are a couple more chapters afterwards 😭

YUNHO. WAIT NOT TOO MUCH ON HIM?? thats still my man but i wasnt really going for that sort of energy but now re-reading the part about him, i could see why it might've came off like that 😭. basically, with yunho i was going for the type of guy that doesnt like spoilt girly girls who care about makeup, clothes and are shallow, that only dates girls who, by his standards, have some depth to them and are sorta not-like-other-girls but in a pinterest cottage core aesthetic way (kjsghdjfhkfdj??? idk if that makes sense but he likes sweet girls who he can bring back home to his parents basically. its pretty much what svoh yn was) and yet he would still sleep with starring role yn without a doubt 😭. he was inspired by many guys ive meet in college

yeosang's storyline...im kind of nervous about revealing it tbh, also mingi will be properly introduced in the next chapter! as something much more than just boyoung's friend.

thank you so much for this message, i always look forward to yours in particular and theyre so fun to read. i really appreciate them. i hope you have a good day 💝

[derekmorganscrocs]

Nancy Drew 2x7 Thoughts While Watching

SPOILER ALERT!

I’m gonna cut down on how much I actually because I’m starting to find myself not enjoying the show as much. ANYWAY here we go:

Yo what’s up with the intro-

GIRL WHAT MAKES YALL THINK STAYING IN THE MURDER ROOM IS A GOOD IDEA- AND YOURE TAKING THE PHONE WHO TF

DUDE I HATE THE TWO MEAN GIRLS THEYRE SO UGH BITCH JEN IS DEAD. “LeT hEr OuT” SHE’S GONE

Ooh investigator Nancy! Oh, investigator Nancy... organizing files. Yay. Hole punching...

CARSON DIDNT KNOW ABOUT THE AGLACEA OMFG “wait- what?!”

CHRIST ODETTE WTF- George really said be gone thot! Nick is so concerned. AW BESS KNOWS NICKS COFFEE ORDER, BFFS! He knows, HE KNOWS!!

Nancy is like wtf are these girls doing here, how did they find me. She has disappointed big sister energy

The towels omg “it’s a little embarrassing.” Ace is so chill. AMANDA- HES so nervous omg wait. IS NANCY JEALOUS??? There’s no way ace isn’t crushing on Amanda omfg that was so cute he was so nervous awe

Nick and Ryan are hanging!!! Omg no they’re not they are not vibing rn. Ryan actually looking into the fam is lowkey impressive. Nick panicking rn “just trust me a little while longer pls” HIS VPICE THERE WOO

“It’s like downtown abbey” does this imply that ace watches that- ACE BABYSITTING!!! ACE IS BABYSITTING AYE DONT OFFEND MY MAN (lol baby white boy smile) “he watches downtown abbey” sent me

NOT THE NICK/GEORGE ARGUMENT “your eye bags could carry groceries” odette go away ma’am. Your time here is done bye bye

“Gimme a dollar, to engage my services” PSH PLS SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIENDS! Caryan vibez <3 (satire, I ship them as a joke, but they’re co-parenting for sure) (Ryan flipping through his wallet pls) MY MAN CARSON GOING FOR THE FITTYS “btw that’s why my father is so... messed up.” espionage ryan! NO HES SO CONCERNED FOR NANCY OK DADDY RYAN! WAIT THAT CAME OUT WRONG

george is the voice of reason here omg “ghosts can’t be your go to.” YES LOGIC! OH RICH GIRL BESS COME THRU!

Sleuth sisters are my dream crew

Ace is failing at babysitting. “Help me” NICK AND ACE BRO-PARENTING COLLEGE GIRLS OMFG

creepy mini elevator- dumb waiter my bad. My hero girls! Pls the basement is scary. Sleuth sisters! I’m calling them that now. BLOOD

SERIAL KILLER I TOLD YALL I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! A WHITE MAN, NO! (Y’all see what I did there, yk where that’s from) Jk but men are pretty scary sometimes-

GHOST SCAM! Genius dude. lol heyyy Amanda remember that time we saved you??? “A thief not a hacker” I KNKW A HACKER

“You don’t cook pancakes in the oven, who raised you-“ SMOKE ALARM! “ACE pls don’t go, pls” STOP THE BRO-PARENTING FAILURE PLS-

AM I WATCHING THEM FALL IN LOVE RN SPAIN NO S FRICK THATS MY MAN YALL IM CRYING.

THATS GEORGE OMFG WHAT THE FUCK GIRL WHAT oh she’s gonna have to tell them abt odette

George has voodoo powers or something I swear. “You did an exorcism without me?” I LOVE BESS’ GREEN SHIRT ONG ITS SO CUTE. “Odette can you hear us!?”

OH NO NICK IS GONNA GET DR. PHILLED BY COLLEGE GIRLS- worried bf moment awww NICK AND GEORGE ARE SWEET!

“Before you can say jawline” BESS STOP WE DONT LIKE TAMARA OR HIS EXCELLENT JAWLINE! FRENCH ACCENT OK WHAT “no, Bess. That’s odette” sassy Nancy omg. Not the hellhounds- SHES A MURDERER

SMORT NANCY! GPS tracking. A bus station? AW BIG SIS NANCY! aw this poor girl, and Nancy relation y’all me too. pls Nancy sharing her tragic backstory. If we don’t get updates on this girl and Nancy and Jen being friends I’ll be sad.

“you ran back to daddy the first chance you got” NICK OK “some sob story about max the bully” nick pls- RYAN SOB STORY HAS ME SOBBING. No I cannot bond with him he’s a bad guy. BUT HE CARES ABOUT NANCY. NICK AND RYAN DUO IS GOOD!! MORE.

GEORGE CRYING ONG “he wakes up every night screaming. He has nightmares of me dying in his arms” STOP. Bess standing up to odette es my girl bess coming in clutch.

ACE CHECKING ON HIS COMPUTER PATIENT. “The flirting wasn’t a ruse” why did I say ow. Like actually I said ow. I knkw he’s fictional but my brain doesn’t seem to comprehend.

WHAT BESS YOURE MARRIED

SISTER:

“He’s going to his bfs house!” When Ryan ditches nick, she thinks he’s going to ask Carson for help

She almost burned her hand off in the hot air from a bag of popcorn, I can’t with this bish

“Oh is that spider woobs!”

“Y’all gonna die- George already died once like this week too-“

[leverage-ot3]

to all the leverage fans out there, I thought I’d throw out some recommendations of other shows that y’all might like

this is completely centered around the lgbt aspects of leverage (how none of the characters are straight, how there is a canon ot3, etc), because I know other people have recommended white collar and stuff but I haven’t personally seen that and I’m just a humble lgbt wanting to share more gay shows with y’all

1. wynonna earp (my sideblog is @angelicearps)

just renewed for a fourth season after two years (this feeling is very familiar to leverage fans)

the first episode of season four aired last night and IM SCREAMING the writers served us a five course meal

the main love story includes waverly earp, a CANON (officially as of 4.01) bisexual girl falling in love with nicole haught, a lesbian cop-turned-sheriff (that’s a slight spoiler, so sorry about that) and both of them are main characters

wynonna earp, another main character, has a complicated relationship with two different men and is not slut shamed for it and is never put down about it

I’m serious- the healthiest and most stable relationship in the show is between waverly and nicole, so wlw nation rise

wynonna and waverly are descendants of the great gunslinger (and demon killer) wyatt earp, who ended up getting a curse on his future generations. the story of the show is centered around wynonna being the chosen heir having to fight demons and try to break the curse for good

doc holiday is another main character- yes, that doc holiday. he’s one of wynonna’s love interests and he has such a pure and loving relationship with waverly. he’d literally die for her and move heaven and hell to make sure she’s safe (that’s literally canon)

jeremy comes in around season two if I remember correctly. canon gay. gets in a relationship with another canon gay character whose name I am blanking on. they are very loving and very pure

literally, in 4.01, when armed military men are breaking into the earp homestead and he doesn’t know what to do, he literally says: “gays only?” lol they didn’t respect that answer

the show has so many good quips and one-liners. so many hilarious lines. it can be an angsty show at times but they definitely balance it out with humor and wlw softness between waverly and nicole

wynonna has a baby in season two and literally calls herself a milf

it also made fans faint because they have been calling nicole “daddy” for like six years and nicole was referred to as daddy three (3) times in 4.01

this show is NOT AFRAID to say things like gay, lesbian, etc. at one point someone tweeted at emily andreas (the writer) asking her to amp up the gay energy and she responded that she would

literally, emily andreas is on the same level as john rogers with trustability and dedication to fans

emily andreas heard of the bury your gays trope and did us one better: unkillible gays trope. the gays are unkillable.

2. motherland: fort salem (my sideblog is @fortsalem)

(HELL YEAH I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST IN THE FANDOM AND I GOT THE HANDS DOWN B E S T URL)

au where during the salem witch trials a witches named sarah alder made an agreement with the government that witches would serve for the us army in exchange for not being systematically hunted down and killed

THIS IS NOT MILITARY PROPAGANDA. sorry, I just had to make this point early on because it’s not even though it might seem like it in the beginning. literally by the end of the season you see it’s very corrupt

since this is an alternate history of the united states, in this universe there are no heteronorms. literally, there’s literally no words for lesbian and bisexual that they use because it’s so normalized and common and accepted that there’s no need for terms like that

the main love story is of star-crossed raelle and scylla. raelle comes from a poor family and is a talented healer, and (this isn’t technically a spoiler because you find out in episode one) scylla is a member of the spree

the spree is a terrorist organization of witches that protests the compliance witches are forced into by having to join the military or die/be imprisoned

scylla is supposed to turn raelle to the “dark side” but falls so deeply in love with her that she can’t do it (THATS TRUE LOVE FOLKS)

the students at fort salem (the military school) are divided into groups of three: the main group being focused on is composed of raelle, tally, and abigail

tally craven is a pure-hearted baby and I’d die for her. she is very idealistic about fighting in the military (but don’t worry that’s fixed by the end of the season)

abigail bell weather comes from a high military family and is kinda really stuck up about it, but she’s humbled a lot by the end of the season. this girl has LAYERS (they all do, but abigail goes through a lot and goes from very stuck up and stuck up the military’s ass to questioning everything she knows)

the trio starts off rocky, especially between raelle and abigail, because raelle blames abigail’s mother for her mother’s death (her mother’s unit was led by abigail’s mother)

the beltane episode literally hits you in the face with how there are literally no heteronorms whatsoever. they do this sacred dance where by the end they will end up with the people they are destined to spend the celebration with (“trust the dance”). raelle makes friends with a gay guy and they spend the celebration making fun of the sex noises around them and become gay friends for life. abigail has sex with two (2) guys who kiss each other. a group of four girls went off together. a group of two girls and a guy went off together. and sex isn’t shamed. at all. in fact, it’s respected as a part of life. and y’all, literally this representation was OFF THE CHARTS

the witch’s most powerful tool is their voice,,, think about that for a minute

it’s an all girls school so there are like no guys whatsoever minus the beltane episode and a couple others

EMPOWERED WOMEN (of all ages and ethnicities too)

3. siren (my sideblog is @polymarinelove)

imma start off by saying that season three doesn’t exist. don’t watch season three. don’t do it. the disappointment is real

ANYWAYS

the central love story is between an interracial couple (a white guy and his black girlfriend that has a native american stepfather) that turns into a loving polyamorous relationship

maddie, the girlfriend, is amazing and incredibly smart and the first two seasons (and the beginning of the third) accentuate that and they never downplay her because she’s a black woman like many shows and movies do. she’s a smart stem woman and we stan her so hard. she’s also bisexual.

ben, the guy, comes from a rich family that are basically the hotshots of the town and own the fishing company that the community works for. his dad is hella untrustable. ben doesn’t trust him and neither should you. he is kindhearted and smart and respectful, and at one point teaches a merman about consent after being kissed by him (and he didn’t even #nohomo it which was AMAZING)

now to the mermaids

mermaids are apex predators. they are very dangerous. they are very strong. they’re also wickedly smart, canon smarter than humans

the story begins when donna, ryn’s sister, is captured by a fishing boat and carted off to a military facility. ryn comes to land to try to find and save her. (she literally choses her name because she sees a character on a kid’s tv show saying “I am ryn” which is also the first thing in english that she can say)

she ends up being helped by ben and maddie and legit is like these humans are hot imma learn english for them

there’s a lot of really cool and thought out lore as well as TONS of thoughtful marine biology science that makes sense

oh and transforming from mermaid to human? painful as FUCK. realistic depictions of having your body literally transform into something else

humans are wrecking the oceans and that’s a heavy theme of the show

oil rigs are poisoning the water (making them infertile) and killing mermaids with their sonic drilling

so ben and maddie lowkey commit an act of ecoterrorism but it’s chill

“ben and maddie are love” they’re poly, bitches

they come together in a natural, organic way

very healthy and communicative

ben’s alright but ryn and maddie are amazing

don’t watch season three if you don’t want to be majorly disappointed. the writers listened to the homophobic trolls on instagram and broke up the polyamorous relationship and I’ll NEVER forgive them for that. seasons one and two are amazing though. just don’t watch the third one.

[chaos-in-the-making]

EPISODE 3-

WOW THE FIGHTING. I MEAN YA'LL. THE TENSION. Towa is like "Sister!" And Sestuna is like "whom the fuck" and Towa is like SISTER?! 🥺 And Setsuna is like "prove it, bitch." The fighting scene was smooth and beautiful, and well animated, and the TENSION between the sisters is *kisses fingers* mwah!

SETSUNA REALLY IS THE SPITTING IMAGE OF HER DADDY. even down to her "do as you please" to Moroha lmaaaao we get to see more of their demon powers which ROCK. Also, did anyone else think that Towa's magic sword resembled tetsaiga? Anyone? Just me?? Probably just me. ANYWAY THATS A THEORY FOR ANOTHER TIME

Ok on Moroha: i am fucking loving her. I came for the twins, but my god is she hysterical. And she is the PERFECT blend of Inuyasha and Kagome. She has Inuyasha's boldness and dumbass energy, but she has Kagome's compassion. She is the voice of reason between the two sisters, forcing them to see each other on the same level and trying to keep the peace. Its obvious that she does not enjoy fighting for the sake of fighting, but wants FRIENDS OMG SHE JUST WANTS FRIENDS. Did you see her call the demon slayers HER FRIENDS?!? half an hour before they were trying to KILL HER and she just decided on her own that nope, they were friends now! Lmaaaaaaooo. They shall be mine, and they shall be my squishy. But ok, I need to know why Moroha just knows so much?? She can SMELL that Sesshoumaru is their dad?? Has she smelled Sesshoumaru before??? She knows who he is, does she know he is her uncle?!??! And then she just GUESSES accurately about Setsuna's curse?? Is it because she has run into it before?? I NEED ANSWERS AND NOT PLOT HOLES. The exposition is nice, but I need a reason for this 14 year old to know everything.

Speaking of Moroha, KAGOME'S FAMILY RECOGNIZED HEEEEEEER. I am living for this reunion. And its so NICE to see that Sota is pure at heart and does not keep secrets from his wife. Also, I love his wife. She is like "demons exist? That almost killed my daughter? Yeah they can stay, no problem." Like ok, I need whatever mood stabilizer she is smoking, bc that shit is the bomb.

Things I am concerned about:

KAEDE'S SPECULATIONS. seriously???? SERIOUSLY??? This shit had better not be true. And I'm holding on to the fact that it's her misunderstanding of demons and their culture that makes her believe that 1) Sesshoumaru would abandon his children, and 2) that the children would fight and kill each other at an early age. Like yes, we see that with some demon siblings and Sesshoumaru hated his little brother, but we also see examples of sibling codependency and family. So her assumptions might be based on only one of those. Anyway they had better be. Because this Spartan bullshit of "Only the strong survive" is sooooooo not my jam. That had better not be Sesshoumaru as a father, or so help me God.

BUT WE GOT TO SEE HIM HOLDING BABIES AS HE FLEW AWAY SO I AM JAZZED ABOUT THAT. but that makes me WORRIED because twin births are HARD and I SWEAR TO GOD IF RIN DIED IN CHILDBIRTH IM GONNA LOSE IT. But why did he take them OUT of the village? Did that mean they were born there?? WHERE IS RIN DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE.

I have more specific thoughts about specific moments, but that's my overview, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!!

In conclusion: MY BABIES ARE BADASSES

[damonsexywifey]

helo today i am going to be talking about daddy papi sexy icon Damon Salvatore. I know im fucking obsessed but this man makes my ovaries explode so i need some way to let it all out so here i go

first things first his mf looks

his eyes omfg his eyes he could stare at me and i would melt his bright blue eyes i already am quite a fan of pretty eyes but his eyes ive been obsessed for a very long time like wtf his eyes are so seductive and for what why do you do this to me huh damon why oh why HIS eyes omg when he looks at elena is with such care and love, id PAY for him to look at me like that HE COULD STOMP ON ME AND ID SAY SORRY AND THANK YOU ok now his little smirk oml when he did something bad he'd do his little smirk and i know it'd be very sociopathic of me to actually enjoy that but why the fuck did i get turned on by that why is he such a sex icon big dick energy is radiating I COULD LITERALLY BE WATCHING A SCENE OF HIM AND ELENA FLIRTING CASUALLY AND I'D BE SWEATING THAT WOULD FILL A WHOLE OCEAN I'D NEED TO PAUSE AND TAKE A BREATHER BECAUSE THAT MAN IS TOO MUCH FOR ME.

OMG THESE SCENES WERE SO EXCITING FOR ME, ID PAUSE AND JUST ADMIRE THE ELEGANT BODY OF THIS SUCH MAN AND THERE WERE SO MANY BATHROOM SHOTS OF THIS MAN HAVING A SHOWER LIKE I DONT BLAME THE DIRECTOR REPEATING THIS SHOT

WHY YOU SAY?? I MEAN LOOK AT HIM ITS NOT FAIR CAN I BE ELENA

SCREAMS SCREAMS UMM DONT BE SHY UNBUTTON MORE

OK NOW IVE DONE A LOOKS ASSESSMENT. IT IS OFF TO DO A PERSONALITY ANALYSIS BECAUSE HE COULDVE BEEN REALLY HOT AND HAD A DEAD PERSONALITY like matt (sorry matt ps i still love you) but no damon has not let me down with his personality so lemme talk about that

the fucking humour:

OK THIS IS JUST mf fragments to his smart ass humour but omg this guy is carrying the show with its humour, i find humour extremely attractive so him just being a little devilish sociopathic smart ass bastard boy is all i ask for and it was received, stefan is great lemme tell u that but one of the reasons its damon>stefan for me its maybe because i prefer playful characters who can quit the intensity and actually have fun so yea personal preferences come into this

Emotional:

my boy is very emotional, hes a vampire yada yada but he hasnt flicked the switch off of his humanity hes still a ball of fluff who tries to cover it up with spikes so he seems tough but some sad scenes you can see right through him like some above. The first one is him letting things pile up over and over again and its killing him in the inside hes such a cinnamon roll and all he needs is a hug and someone to tell him hes gonna be alright...can i plz volunteer to do that ✋

the second one was a scene that made go waaaaaaa and tear up because that was the scene when he was opening up about how he wants and loves elena but shes not hers, shes stefans around then. The fact hes showed as some type of dickhead but he could be rlly douchy and literally just steal her away from stefan but he doesnt because shes "brothers girl" aaa hes caring and it hurts how much he does and his sad scenes hurt, hes not bad hes just very broken inside.

Unapologetically Honest

one of the reasons i love about him is that hes just so mf honest which is ironic because around s2 its just elena calling him a liar anyways hes honest with a lack of apology which i feel like would be extremely necessary when theres a flock of bad guys always at your doorstep, sugar covered words aren't needed tbh thats where his honesty comes in

hes aware of himself and knows that he can be dickhead some way or another so its funny when hes aware kinda gives definition to his character being a self proclaimed dickhead

i stan alarics and damons friendship theres so mf honest with eachother, alaric could be getting emotional about his relationships and this man could just go "but they're dead.. *sips tea* " hes so unbothered theres something attractive about it

Romantic:

umm so i kinda forgot the post only allows 10 pics so you lot are lucky enough that u get a video

anyways im extremely attracted to intense romance rather than cutesy lovey dovey, this guy ticks the box for intense hes so mf sexy with like one touch can u explain this science to me BECAUSE THIS GUY SCREAMS SEX WTF AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW ELENA CONTROLS HER SEXUAL DESIRES BECAUSE BITCH U SURE DO KNOW I'D DO ANYTHING THIS BASTARD WOULD TELL ME TO DO ANYWAYS THERE WAS THIS SCENE WHERE ELENA WAS WORKING OUT AND THIS GUY WAS TOUCHING HER RIBCAGE OR SOMETHING AND THE HEAVY BREATHING I'D PROBABLY FAINT IN HIS ARMS BUT THIS WOMAN HELD IT TOGETHER CAN HE PLZ TAKE ME ADOPT ME ILL LIVE IN UR HOME I'LL LIVE IN THE TINIEST PLACE IN UR HOUSE I DONT MIND ME I JUST NEED TO BE GRACED BY UR LOOKS the intensity is legit like fire to the skin, i blush and scream for elena im a literal pterodactyl screeching when he comes on screen with him naked and one towel covering his big dick i would write the director a mf big ass letter to persuade him to let damon walk in with no towel pls i beg cmon u can do it i know u want too

anyways overall damon salvatore is my husband papi daddy and i do admit i simp for him and hes hit me like a wrecking ball im on s3 for vampire diaries ill keep u lot updated if anything happens in my shift of simp but for now im kind of addicted to this bootylicious babe actually now i think about it what if i actually ever meet him or something id probably weep and faint yes that'd happen ill probably just stare and i dont blame him if he kicks me out for being a creep anyways uh this was my essay hope u lot enjoy because i sure as heck enjoyed screaming my burning passionate love for Damon Salvatore if someone was selling a damon salvatore in store id be the first one to purchase and i feel like i speak for the nation of damon simps ily babes because i totally understand this lust you have for him

anywho bye bye xoxoxo

[applesauccce]

What’s up gamers, back at it again with complaints and over sharing about my life. I swear I’m not turning into a life blogger, I just want somewhere to spew my thoughts that isn’t google docs. (Quick tw: gaslighting, emotional abuse, homophobia, eating disorders)

Anyways, so as a quick summary, I got on decent meds, have seen a real difference, but am still having a multitude of problems. Brain fog, inability to concentrate or focus on tasks (even if it’s something I want to do, like cleaning my room or painting), extreme memory loss, both short term and long term, an excess of nervous energy that prevents me from sleeping or concentrating, over sensitivity to various stimuli, food texture sensitivities, etc etc etc. I’m working with a very nice psychiatrist (he’s been very supportive) and hopefully will remember to find a therapist to work with as well.

Basically, we’ve been running through the potential causes for my issues and will slowly eliminate them. The current list of most likely causes of me not being able to function is as follows. Adhd (runs in the family on both sides, I have a lot in common with adhd individuals), Autism (likely, based on my behaviors), PTSD (welcome to Trauma Town), Anxiety (no shit Sherlock), and Depression (my current meds need more time to take full effect). Currently we are waiting to see if giving my current meds more time to take effect will help at all, but it’s very likely that it won’t solve everything.

Now here’s my problem. My mom (bless her heart in every way, she is an angel on earth) is extremely supportive in every way. She listens to me, validates my worries, asks genuine questions about my experiences, and is generally open minded to most everything. She genuinely wants the best for me and has learned over the years that her idea of what’s best may not necessarily be the solution, so she has chosen to be open minded and supportive.

My father on the other hand (my parents are divorced btw, you’ll see why in a moment) is the exact opposite. Take every boomer parent that thinks they know best. has the most set in stone and stubborn mindset, and throw in a heavy dash of narcissism (scratch that, pour in the whole container) and you have my trash bag of a father. To name just a few things that he does/says.............(brace yourself, it’s a long list)

Barely tolerates me being queer (pansexual, told him. Non binary, cannot tell him unless I want to be disowned, abused, and murdered)

Believes that women shouldn’t work after they are married and they need to have kids

Claims that trans, nb, and gender fluid people are “corrupted” and have been sent by Satan to destroy the nuclear family

Thinks “the gays” are some angry liberal movement, “just like those awful BLM people”. My favorite things he’s said is “they just want govenerment funding and special laws passed to give them the power to sue religious people”, “if you want respect, why don’t you go out and organize your gay friends and do a service project to show you’re good people”, “if someone’s uncomfortable with a gay person, they have the right to refuse service!” “But what if was the other way around? What if a gay person was uncomfortable with a religious person and refused them service?” “Thats discrimination!”, “I tolerate gay people! I’ve had gay friends!” “......you do realize that means next to nothing right?” “hOw RuDe!”, and finally “yeah, you’d marry a woman just to spite me.”

I was prescribed birth control by my dr for extremely painful periods. I then happened to go visit my bf at the time and since I didn’t want to stay in my moms house (had issues with her husband, he’s a nice guy tho, we chill now), his mom offered to let me stay in their spare room, as long as I kept the door locked at night. He found out and immediately called me a whore and said I was ruining my life, had used his insurance to get the birth control to have sex, and was a disrespectful disgrace to the family. He then proceeded to tell his entire family.

When I was talking about the possible diagnosis for my issues, I mentioned autism and he laughed and said “you don’t have autism, you’re normal. Plus, you don’t look like it, and you’re smart. Trust me, I know mental handicaps, I grew up with a handicapped sister.” (His sister does not have autism and is an extreme case, she needs round the clock care). Like thanks for invalidating my thoughts and research, saying I don’t look “disabled enough”, and saying I’m too smart to have problems.

When I was discussing my eating issues, I mentioned that it was likely I was/am anorexic, based on my behaviors and thought process surrounding food. He laughed and said “oh don’t be dramatic. You’re not anorexic. Look at you! Still plump and healthy, you have meat on your bones!” I told him it wasn’t about physical appearance, it was about the mental process about food. He rolled his eyes and said to stop self diagnosing myself. Like thanks for again invalidating me.

Is in general, a gaslighting, narcissistic, self righteous bitch who thinks he is the most amazing and religious person in the world. He constantly complains about not being able to find a new wife (I wonder why /s)

Not to mention his absolute cultish fanaticism over religion. Like don’t even get me started. He’s the reason that people think Mormons are cultists.

Anyways, so my dad sucks ass, but thinks he’s a god among men. The only reason I moved in with him was because at the time my mental health was really bad and I was having a very hard time dealing with my moms husband. Things are a lot better now and I’m lowkey considering moving back in with my mom bc holy fuck I am so sick of dealing with my father.

Also I’m trying to find a therapist to help me figure things out and help find a diagnosis. If it is autism, I’m going to shove it in his face and laugh at him. And if/when I get diagnosed with an eating disorder, I am also going to shove it in his face and tell him he’s a bitch. Can’t wait till he realizes that all his children hate him and are never going to “choose to live with their daddy” bc they’d rather not be gaslighted and emotionally abused.

[randomliven]

WARNING LONG POST HEAVY SPOILERS

Episode4. Play back rewatch

*Open scene Montrose

*Drinking. Going through the memories of his mind

He drinks and still he remembers it all

*God Smites Eve

*2:12 "Give this to tic protect our family" GEORGE

*The Order of the ancient dawn

*You might be all Tic has left

*"Smells like Tulsa

*Bitcx better have my money

*Christina glides through cars

* Black arrow (nods it off)

*leti was ready

*Bitcx tried to walk in like she own the place

*the protection spell works 'akirum

She seemed impressed and snide

*your money (leti realizes where the money came from

**L: "You want something in this house. Something to. do with Atticus"

**Ct: "Dont let the men fool you into thinking its Always about them. "

**His blood may have power but thats only because itus spelled it that way. Hes Not Special. Not really

Christina is a Snitch

*"If he keeps operating like this hes going to get you killed "Again"

(she looks sincere) (im telling yall xtina did this before)

* "I dont want that. Or this house. I just want the orrery"

(To discover a world of first) (chritina dont lie withold yes)

You can get the Fuck up off my Porch

Call me

*Hippolyta calls her daddy... She has the Orrery

She smart as hell

*The new comic diana drawing..outta this universe

Moves and predicts the relative position of planets

*leti tells tic about tina paying for house

*Tic with holds information from leti

*knows tina used tic to kill father

tic was go kill her then just leave

Lil boy with Coke bottle glasses ( just like tic but not tic

*two sets of pages still exist

*the orrery is the key

(using the orrery to go into another world to find his pages)

Titus kept it hidden

*Casting spells to protect

*ask ya daddy " i dont want yall involved"

(Sound like his daddy when they saved him)

They in the back

Every time i tell you to do something yo do the opposite

*" how you kno its 34 lodges"

*"I cant help you kill yourself. You cant see this game she is setting up for you to play"

(Montrose and Christina have done this before.. I cant wait till the final. I need to kno)

*"Looking for answers you already have"

Boston

*"I know where to find that dame vault"

Christina plays hide and seek for the first time

Christina screaming "Im safe."

The police arrive for her to take her to ...

Lancaster

*She didnt mention leti being in the house specie or tic

Says convince "hyrum"

*she knows there is someone in the closet right away

*xtina says time machine

* " let "negros" move in..(vs niggers) cocky

Take my lodges

*did i miss your initiation into the order..

No cunts allowed

The silent fight

Let go. You told me to let go

Hyp suspicious

It so happens to be at a astrology museum

Tree

Ruby walks into Marshal fields

"Work like kobe just to shine like Russel"

Sees Tamara

"Yes yesterday"

"I applied on a whim"

Boston

Lights of the universe

Leti's face watching rose go with the guard

*"u kno y they call me tree"

"Shouldnt i already kno that since we fuc in highschool simore" rolls eye at that liar

True story: Harriet chariot

*MY MAMA NAMED THAT COMET

*Many artefacts Titus was giving in exchange for striping away everything they knew

(Stolen after killing, probably raping and enslaving the native people)

*tree hints at Montrose being gay to tic

Tic questions how mon knows the guard

The vault

*Christina pulls up goes around the gate

(William comes out 30seconds later, yes we kno the skin change happens in seconds seeing ruby change, BUT HOW IN THE HELL did xtina put on a whole suite down to the tie that quick)

Do they not kno william cuz then lancaster wouldnt have known it wasnt xtina when he dies.

She kick they ass

*William says i have a Date

Find a way to open it

Montrose finds the moonlight

How old is this museum

*"This is some journey to the center of the earth type shit"(name of book coke bottle kid in library was reading)

3tunnels

Ever the tide shall rise

Map of titus voyage's..

No telling Letitia fuc N lewis No

Dont help me

Yellow

*Based on adventure novels the tunnels should be based on the map.

*How you know he raided Diana

"I read a damn book

*1810 it was built

Established the sons of Adam 3yrs later

*Whats down the other tunnel?

The lantern being there

Ruby drowning her blues away to a half empty bar

Is copper considered a yellow

Voluptuousness

*I cant afford another one

Blues eyes got ya tab tonight

*A nod. A gulp

*"May i join you?" They dont sit

Keep my glass full"...

*Yall white boys dont come to the dark side for modesty (demanding woman

* i can buy my own drinks ( pride)

Take a bit more to impress me White Boy

*Never insult you to make you a kept woman

* promise me the world to lay with me

*a promise i can keep

(All she needs is the orrery & she literally can give Ruby Many worlds)

The way they look at Ruby

*20min of walking

Walking the plank

Tic brave

Tf me 1st

Learned how to lie

*juneteenth

* "FREEMEN WERE NEVER SLAVES"

She out there

Spider senses

Tic has training

Booby trap

Big fucking deal

The bored starts to disappear

Jump pop

Better catch me Boy. (I got ya kid)

Now they can run shuffle

Montrose knows the combination

Jessie owens

*The tide rising.. Less than an hr

Ruby "got there 1st, shoulda been me but i let Leti distract me"

They sat there all night

*"Whoes leti"

(i dont think Christina knew leti Nd Ruby were sisters before that moment based on willtinas expression

*"my half sister" (willtina Gulps (becoming a signature

* if i was in your skin i wouldnt even have to run"

*what to do about it?

William with them eyes.

*"Better stop looking at me like that, It Aint happening

White Boy"

I Put a Spell on You plays

Ruby want it

(Im more than sure this is Willtinas 1st time, also wonder if so as a woman. Possible leti was a virgin)

Willtina looked confused by the blood. Primal reaction

Ruby in control

William excited, whoa lip biting

The mark of Cain. Big Dic Energy

*" How you kno so much about the sons of adam?"

* george gave me the bylaws i burned it

My brother said protect the family. His dying wish

(Was to give Tic the book, but you cant tell Montrose what to do with his son)

Closing Pandoras box once Nd for good

You wont stop

*Leti finds the neighbors body who went missing

*Chicago to Boston 14hr drive

(They walk 20min to the plank maybe another 20 to yahima)

*sees elevator come down, looks familiar

*Epistien was apart of the order prob chasing the pages... He was missing an arm

This might get dangerous

*he was kidnapped. I Died.

*"not the center of the fucking universe"

Leti can swim too

*Fatherly advice

Ya mama was complicated too

*all that fussing is loving

*Epstein day look like he was missing an arm and like a drowned victim

I don't think Christina knew about the tunnels or at least she knew that she couldn't open them

Black folk dont watch bones come alive & just stare

*reaches. (Back the fuc up

* they have the same symbol on their stomach. The Regeneration spell

*yahima Woman man two spirit

*had no reason to distrust him

ALWAYS HUNGRY

*he killed them all (stole they shii) enslaved

Tic look like Will Smith as a fish in shark tail

*she dont know my spirit

Montrose Takes pages anyway (i think knowing booby trap)

. Grabs yama

*montrose drops the pages purposefully

Like damn leti. Grabbing for her

The kiss. The scream. The knockout

*how did they get back without woodie

*is that your dad's atlas

*devon county circled. Ardum reaper. Hyp makes a detour

*siren. Ill figure out how to help her talk

*"You were brave boy. Grew to be a good man spite me"

*he already had the plan

Damn montrose

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: pick me up Joe: rude you clearly did without me Joe: but I'll be able to do a twofer, yeah 👌 Joe: send your distress signal so I know where to point Ronnie: [wherever she's been working for a hot sec, I dread to think lol] Joe: you making a complaint about their cold-calls in person? Joe: tick off initiative on your CV Ronnie: my sides have split & it aint fuck all to the piss poor stitching Joe: see how far we can stretch your guts either side of you, fun Joe: did you self-sew or see one of your gun-wielding pals? different principle tats and triage Ronnie: then you can play a round of guess how much of this blood is mine, get yourself proper going Joe: too kind, stop me from charging the going rate for a while yet 🚖 Joe: what office supply did you use though Joe: if you were too cliche, you are going to have to sit up front and talk to me, proper cabbie punishment Ronnie: everything got nicked day 1 baby they werent about to waste any staples keeping shit on desks Ronnie: phone & a script is your lot Joe: there any drug we can act like anyone's calling it oscar on the street? Joe: you fully Joe Pesci'd someone with the phone, yeah? 👏 Ronnie: any gear that should go straight in the bin Ronnie: call it oscar Joe: you are wasted on 0 hour contracts, my dear Ronnie: not wasted enough for em Joe: join me at your local overpriced shit coffee dealer Joe: our bathrooms couldn't pass a piss test but they all only want the ⬆pers Joe: 💔 Ronnie: ill have an escort if you dont get a fucking move on Ronnie: you got enough student spends to feed coffee & doughnuts to the full force yeah Joe: say lucky you but security guards got as many hairs on their head as they got IQ points Joe: lot down Soho are decent conversationalists, unlike Daz and Gaz Joe: I did just get this terms though so hold on and you can help me 🔥 through it Ronnie: i dont get turned on by einstein & his pals mckenna thats your wank fuel Ronnie: easiest way to get a cunt off my back is to put him on his Joe: he only banged his cousin, that's nothing to waste energy on Ronnie: 💔 none of your cousins look enough like your mam for you Joe: why do you think i was searching Joe: daring to dream Ronnie: give a fuck about your nancy drew fantasies Ronnie: that schoolgirl shit is tapped Joe: the catholic schoolgirl uniforms have been overstated Joe: not all that in person, be the review Joe: nuns though, yeah Joe: enough mild peril to manage Ronnie: charlie will be gutted youve switched from homos to dykes Joe: you're the only one who's guts I wanna play around Joe: I'll break it to him nicely Joe: doughnuts, yeah Ronnie: consolation hole Ronnie: youve had shitter ideas Joe: it was yours, in fairness Joe: dunno about offering up my hole to every bloke at the met but if I put my foot down shouldn't be an issue Ronnie: i dont reckon a consolation footjob is gonna cut it Ronnie: not my first offence Joe: giving away how highly you think of my 🍑 Joe: what happened then, beyond telemarketing being worse than shitting out razorblades Ronnie: you wish you had 1 whitey Joe: says you Ronnie: if i had any curves theyd be cut off by now Joe: junkie chic before the habit Joe: some girls have all the luck Ronnie: lucky i need your bullshit heroics for this or id send you on a fools errand to sleuth the pieces out of landfill Joe: white knight > jester Joe: not my usual style, but for you I'll make an exception Ronnie: unless youre gonna say your horse fucking girlfriend dressed you the other night ive already seen it like Joe: you think her thing is budget kurt cobain? Joe: or that she's blind Ronnie: be blind by now if you catholics arent full of shit about touching yourself too much Ronnie: homesick for the horse & rejected by you Joe: what do you think its called Joe: my bets are on some boy band member she fancied when she was 11 and daddy was gutted Ronnie: or the 1st lad she wanted to meet round the back of the bike sheds Joe: you're such a romantic Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: im thinking like a basic white bitch from kent or wherever the fuck you said Joe: you do it well Joe: no way her school had anything common like bikesheds though so knocking a point off Joe: getting fingered on the hellipad is more voyeuristic but has less of a charm about it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: shes gonna be charmed by the namedrop Joe: return the favour Joe: she's making me help her with her coursework Ronnie: plaster cast of your cock and then what Ronnie: tell her you aint no hendrix & its been done Joe: charlie wishes, whitey Joe: I'll cc 'em both in about my disappointing dick Ronnie: ill pass on gaz & daz numbers Joe: god I hope the plaster ain't dried Ronnie: god aint listening to you nancy Joe: adds up Joe: that kind of dad, technically always keep an eye but going in one ear and out the other Joe: 💔 woe is me Ronnie: irish catholics aint got fuck all going on between the ears she werent in it for that Joe: fucked me up with her shit genetics then Joe: you manage to get a pen? Joe: shove it in my ear and dig it out Ronnie: pull it out of my neck & you can stick it where you like Joe: we'll let the blood piss out 'til it feels right Ronnie: im the romantic Ronnie: shut up Joe: alright, you need to be conscious to woo me Ronnie: couldve fooled me Joe: dead girls pale in comparison Joe: 💘 Ronnie: the boners you lot have got for open caskets over there i dont reckon youve ever seen a dead girl the proper colour Joe: just said you were #1 but you've got to be 1 and only, yeah? Ronnie: in your fever dreams mckenna Ronnie: i aint looking that much like your ma however much slap i put on Joe: you're prettier than her Ronnie: now you want me to drink bleach instead of having a bath in it Ronnie: make up your fucking mind like Joe: just knew that would wind you up Joe: gotta bring out some cliches Joe: you're perfect just the way you are, you know Ronnie: drop dead Joe: god willing Joe: he's being fucking slow about it, despite my best efforts Ronnie: ill give it my best shot if you keep on Joe: another one for the cv Ronnie: find it written in my blood shit & bile on this wall Ronnie: thats your girlfriends coursework aced for her Joe: beats the lecture I'm skipping out on by miles Ronnie: no shit none of em are dressed like nuns Joe: none of 'em hate me like you either Joe: so damn likeable, its a curse Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about all your teachers trying to pet you Ronnie: childhoods over golden boy Joe: and all without me getting molested once Joe: by any nuns or teachers anyway Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: why youre such an annoying cunt Joe: abuse really humbles you, does it Joe: builds character Ronnie: gives you something to properly cry about Joe: got nothing on the shit my brain can make up Joe: idle hands and all that Ronnie: yeah youre so special baby Joe: it's just being mental or not Joe: if you ain't, you can go through whatever fucked up shit and be alright still Joe: if you're mental nothing even needs to happen and you'll be worse off Joe: some of us ain't got a chance from conception Ronnie: tell me something i dont know Ronnie: poster child for not having a fucking chance & any mental problems they wanna attach Joe: you better pay for more ad space Joe: call it karma, or dodgy genetics Joe: but I make a great case for abortion Ronnie: like i said before not one that needs to be put to me Ronnie: had more of em than youve had misery boners Joe: won't make you tell me about 'em Joe: no way you'd be as descriptive as the furious pro-lifers who act like the baby is fit to crawl out when you kill it Ronnie: hot Ronnie: shouldve called 1 of em to pick me up instead Joe: condemnation and loathing is meant to be my thing Ronnie: sharings meant to be your thing too yeah? Joe: only when it's inadvisable Ronnie: only when you wanna Joe: if you got to play oldest you'd know that's sadly untrue Ronnie: stuck being the cliche middle kid between fitz & the other one Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: seeking attention and approval because you're overlooked and under-appreciated? Joe: it's why 3 is a good number, any more and you've got multiple middle kids Joe: maybe I don't wanna fuck my mum, just missing all 3 of my own so much 🙄 Ronnie: they wish anyone could overlook me Ronnie: & you deffo do wanna fuck her so thats shit on your thesis Joe: yeah, sounds just like them Joe: suits you Joe: like the basic white bitch thing Ronnie: go fuck your mam Ronnie: im too tired for this Joe: you won't have no early start tomorrow sound of Ronnie: didnt have an early start today Ronnie: thats what kicked off this bullshit Joe: fair enough Joe: who wants a cold call at 7am Ronnie: the cunt who runs the place will be getting 1 off me til he pays me Joe: lucky him Joe: might wanna stay in your debt longer, romantic that you are Joe: attention very flattering Ronnie: what im hearing is i should tell his missus some fucking fairytale about the attention he was giving me Ronnie: everyonell be made up with the lie Joe: could do Joe: like your flair Joe: or I could come in, tell him you're mental and that he didn't make adequate allowances for you but now you're too traumatized to come back so he should just pay and we won't have to sue Joe: might get damages on top Ronnie: who are you my fucking school age carer like Joe: i'm believable, and more palatable than you outwardly Joe: anyway i look older Ronnie: than what 12 Joe: you have a baby face Joe: i look like i've not slept in as many years Joe: which is pretty accurate, as it goes Ronnie: do i fuck Ronnie: i look like ive shaken a baby to death Joe: child on child crime Joe: shocking headlines there, like that scottish girl who was fucked then got out and was someone's gran like she didn't kill a toddler Ronnie: see how palatable you are when I kick your teeth in Joe: it's a curse Joe: if you wanna lift it and be my hero instead of it being this way 'round Joe: love you forever, like Ronnie: ill lift your wallet fuck the rest Joe: already offered you my money Joe: not even a challenge, soft touch Ronnie: like youve ever been challenged soft lad Joe: go on Ronnie: youre already going on loads Joe: bet you've never heard about the traffic in this city, have ya Ronnie: fuck it ill go lay in it Joe: 😍 Ronnie: save the pillow talk for when youre offering me somewhere else to sleep Ronnie: would let you fuck me for entry to horse girls en suite if theres a bath in it Joe: where's your bed gone Ronnie: its got a hysterical homo in it whos only gonna get himself in more of a fanny flap cause ive been sacked Ronnie: ill take the wreckage of a 4 car pile up or whatever Joe: gotcha Joe: how long 'fore he calms it Ronnie: how long are you offering to spend buying him drinks & cupping his balls Joe: i get it Joe: you wanna wifeswap Joe: not just her art assignment you're interested in Joe: but you can just take my bed, I'm always falling asleep on the sofa or up the table and she'll relish at more chance to watch me sleeping Ronnie: your room got a 🔒 Joe: yeah but you're alright, it's on the inside Joe: not going to get fritzl about it Ronnie: youd need more than that to keep me in Ronnie: which youd know if you were earning off dealing with my mental problems Joe: not giving you a challenge either, don't get hysterical yourself like Ronnie: you couldnt like Ronnie: bigger pussy than your basic white girlfriend Joe: oh god stop talking about it Joe: i'll be sick Ronnie: no stomach for any kind of challenge Joe: you crack on Joe: i'll stick to 🍩 Ronnie: not so needy for some clean piss that ill be licking her out for it Joe: you should write this song for me Ronnie: whats in it for me Ronnie: got all your spends on a promise as is Joe: the fame and full writing credits, obviously Ronnie: fuck off obviously Joe: that's how we know you're not really a middle kid Ronnie: more shit you can come at your ma with Joe: I'll save it for the next holiday Ronnie: 💘 Joe: what about your dad Ronnie: i dont reckon hes up for another go on her if youre there watching Joe: 💔 Joe: i meant do you know what happened to him Joe: you might have more interesting half brothers out there, what I'm thinking Ronnie: got no interest in little fucking kids Joe: so you do know Joe: did he come find you or what Ronnie: dont get jealous nance Ronnie: did it myself like Joe: he meet your expectations Ronnie: what kind of fucking soft shit is that Ronnie: get a grip mckenna he aint rich Joe: a no would suffice Joe: though it's adorable you really kicked it like Annie over it Joe: you could've said you had none, or you expected him to be dead or worse, a useless cunt Ronnie: why would i say fuck all to you about it Joe: too painful too private Joe: gotcha Ronnie: wank over your own parents when i aint waiting Joe: the fact you've not implied I'd prematurely cum in my pants Joe: you're so full of hope it's equal parts inspiring and worrying Ronnie: get out of my face before i kick yours in Ronnie: everyone who aint gone blind can see youre a virgin Joe: don't be jealous, sid Ronnie: you cant tell your older sister what to do baby Ronnie: that aint how this works Joe: it wasn't good ever Ronnie: course youre crying about that too Ronnie: fucking hell Joe: just trying to ease your jealousy Joe: anyway, you'll be pleased to know the lacklustre results were down to my lack of trying, not theirs Ronnie: 1 less dose of the clap & i might still be fertile now thats fucking worrying Ronnie: keep your status choir boy Joe: bit cliche far as fantasies go but alright Ronnie: you started it Ronnie: trying to make me feel special Joe: no need to try is there Ronnie: not now my gag reflex has been triggered Joe: like that ain't been decimated by now too Ronnie: youre learning Ronnie: your teachersll be made up Joe: hope for the molestation yet? Joe: nice Ronnie: ease your 💔 & limp dick Joe: calm down Joe: might get attached Ronnie: do your grades the world of good Joe: you wanna help me with my homework? Ronnie: youre that shit in the sack you still wont get an a after giving your teachers a going over Ronnie: unlucky like Joe: so you can help me Joe: what else you gonna do whilst you're hiding from charlie Ronnie: use your imagination Joe: no need Joe: you'll be sharing Ronnie: cant stop you kicking the door in Ronnie: its yours Joe: just the needle, not the bed, like Joe: you're fine Ronnie: yeah youll be between horse girls sheets Joe: don't reckon she's strong enough to carry me Ronnie: only has to strap a saddle on Joe: 😂 Ronnie: fuck knows what she would fill your nose bag with Joe: the surprise is the fun part Ronnie: dont come crying to me when its oscar Joe: if she was half as interesting as you're making out, might stand a chance of working Joe: as it goes, probably be granola Ronnie: stick her thatll make her more your type Joe: come on Joe: she don't look a thing like my mother Ronnie: fucks sake when shes under get a 🔪 Ronnie: do your best like Joe: i keep telling you i'm not one for trying Ronnie: trying not to cry is as far as it goes yeah Joe: even my kiddy medicine cuts that shit off Joe: ain't been able to since I was 12 Joe: not that there was much call for it, my perfect life with mummy dearest Ronnie: the other week before you met me then Ronnie: gutted i broke your streak Joe: you sure you ain't interested in little fucking kids Joe: rearrange that sentence and Freud is having a field day Ronnie: make the effort to get here before i start to rot Ronnie: not trying to make that cunts day or yours Joe: you'd have liked him Ronnie: he rich off peddling that bullshit to the masses Joe: yeah and he reckoned cocaine was the cure for heroin addiction so he really knew a good time Ronnie: sounds like my not boyfriend Joe: oh yeah? Joe: well his grandson was cooler Joe: he fucked kate moss when he was like 70 Ronnie: anyone written a song about that Joe: maybe pete did Joe: he was a painter though so he painted her with her kit off, obviously Joe: reckon it's free for us to give it a crack Ronnie: your girlfriend painted you yet or what Joe: she wants to Ronnie: no shit mckenna Ronnie: every cunt there nearly fucking went arse over tit in the puddle she was sat in at that gig Joe: so that's what that sticky feeling was Ronnie: her juices or charlies Joe: that's called mixed media Joe: potential bio-hazard for her profs though Ronnie: worst theyre gonna get off her is thrush Ronnie: never met a bitch so clean Joe: yeah Joe: boring Ronnie: i told you to kill her last time you started being a baby about it Joe: you can have homicidal, sis Joe: boring but harmless Ronnie: cocaines harmless after heroin you & freud are still pussy enough to call it a party Joe: why it's a cure Joe: get you from comatose to semi-functioning Ronnie: she could be a cure too Ronnie: cold turkey Joe: weren't searching for a cure Joe: am i coming in or are you coming out Joe: can't see you Ronnie: cause youre comatose Ronnie: gutted this ex boss aint a cokehead Joe: not far off Joe: he your not boyfriend or is that just what we're telling the wife Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: he couldnt fund your baby habit nevermind mine Joe: we going there first then Ronnie: yeah Joe: if we get your wages, we don't have to Joe: [come in boy] Ronnie: [a look like go on impress me by getting these wages boy] Joe: [when you can give it social worker chat 'cos what Tess does and the whole beeline of it all like you can be convincing enough that he's breaking some kind of equality law by sacking her without pay lol] Ronnie: [love that for you Joseph even if she won't let you know she's impressed and also lowkey triggered by that social worker energy] Joe: [honestly, lbr this man surely just wants you gone, won't take too much persuading] Ronnie: [literally and he's clearly in some way shady if he's 1. employed her and also 2. not called the police on her rn] Joe: [no leg to stand on sir, love this shakedown for you] Ronnie: [I bet they're all illegals and people being exploited] Joe: [its a mood, as in happens all the time esp. in cities, least you can hit him up again lads, long as he don't get y'all beaten up or something lol] Ronnie: [tbf if you do get beaten up that's a mood too] Joe: [yeah, when they find out you are not social and just taking their money lol] Ronnie: [love a scam] Joe: [the kind of nonsense have your mother rolling in her grave she's not in, love that we're starting that now] Ronnie: [I approve of the vibe, start as you mean to go on lads, all before you've made his poor flatmate wanna die lol] Joe: [poor gal did not ask for you as a flatmate let alone all this lol] Ronnie: [do you wanna skip to like when she's back and Ronnie's in his room or whatever because easy way to keep the convo going without needing it to be face to face] Joe: [works for me henny] Ronnie: [your turn to start boo] Joe: doubt she'll leave her room any time soon now Ronnie: 💔 Joe: yeah poor girl Joe: saying you got free reign, if you need anything Ronnie: i had it before Ronnie: not scared of her like Joe: nah Joe: what about charlie then Joe: or you just don't wanna upset him Ronnie: yeah terrified Ronnie: well sleuthed nancy Joe: that he'll get sick of you, maybe Ronnie: i fucking told you we aint the kind of family who get rid Joe: yeah Ronnie: dont project onto me Ronnie: we aint nothing alike Joe: i'm the one sick of them Joe: if anything Ronnie: yeah & he aint fuck all like you either Joe: I can see that Ronnie: youve seen him once dont flatter yourself Joe: and it's that obvious Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: what? Joe: i only need to know one half the equation to know we're not the same Joe: it's a compliment to him if fuck all else Ronnie: give it to him then Ronnie: hell lap it up Joe: i told you it's nice Joe: what you lot got Joe: but i'm not looking to get in on it if that's what you reckon Ronnie: take what you want pussy Joe: that's not your thing? Ronnie: what we cant both do it Joe: potentially Ronnie: dont remember you having any hesitation to share a needle Ronnie: grow a pair when youre not getting shot up Ronnie: maybe the dayll come when i dont have to spoon feed you the gear like a fucking kid Joe: i'd have to work out if i want anything but first Ronnie: yeah Joe: is it all you want Joe: the heroin Ronnie: mind your fucking business Joe: alright Joe: do you want to do my next tattoo or what Ronnie: i said take what you fucking want Joe: [come through with ink you've undoubtedly stole from your flatmate, also being more spacey/twitchy than normal like distract me gal] Ronnie: [love how old school & gross we're kicking this tattoo situation unlike when Ali does it] Joe: [which is absolutely the point, how your arms and legs don't fall off lol] Ronnie: [their other ones probably wouldn't have even healed yet cos lbr it's gonna be no time in between these interactions] Joe: [just loads of lowkey open wounds, like that isn't life anyway] Ronnie: [mhmm they'd be fucked already too cos they are so itchy when they are healing and y'all don't have chill] Joe: [all the reason for constant touch ups/ messing with so it casually never heals #mood] Ronnie: [I didn't think of that but I stan] Joe: [casual metaphor for your everything lads] Ronnie: [you know you can do anything to her tattoowise yourself Joseph she don't care] Joe: [probably doing some weird repitition moment you'd usually do on yourself which will be painful af excuse you] Ronnie: [she do love the pain you're fine] Joe: [good thing too, we're just here fucking each other up like this ain't gonna go anywhere else lolllllll] Ronnie: [way more #into it than I should be considering I don't  even like when people shout lol] Joe: [you babby, they are not, obviously we're getting and taking drugs even if she's too naive to know why they're in such a state, maybe they can make a dealer come to them when they're feeling fancy/have already had loads lol] Ronnie: [take a moment to appreciate how few clothes she is wearing rn and how much that means this poor gal can and would see like we've got track marks and self harm scars for days even before you start on the tattoos lol, you're gonna get clued in before she leaves hen] Joe: [honestly props for not running home screaming tbh babe] Ronnie: [especially when this dealer comes because he ain't Drew like he should be scary af] Joe: [lowkey makes you work for it even when you're paying 'cos hates junkies] Ronnie: [at least she can basically fuck him in full view for Joe's benefit because the vibe is already there haha] Joe: [i truly love thinking about what the hell you're telling the flatmate when she leaves, she's not that stupid, also must fancy you if she doesn't report you immediately lol] Ronnie: [she definitely does that's not just Ronnie's bpd jealousy shining through like did you tell her you were related after the gig or what even Joseph what's the narrative] Joe: [also, entirely unrelated, when you bleaching your hair 'cos it looks so much better lol, anyways, he's probably had to go with a troubled sister narrative 'cos she's the type to be sympathetic and it makes sense why he'd deal from her pov] Ronnie: [that's gonna make the obvious sexual tension awkward but yeah I vote they definitely do it while she's staying because same vibe as the tattoo sesh so] Joe: [ikr, when you're blatantly fucking this will be very confusing, you should deffo only be about 1st year lol] Ronnie: [are you gonna give him another different flatmate in year 2 or like none?] Joe: [maybe for year 2  on you can still have some like a house share moment but he's the one you never see and has nothing to do with you] Ronnie: [that works definitely cos like I was just thinking how could he afford somewhere on his own] Joe: [yeah, even if we're technically employed whilst in uni by the orchestra, it's not gonna be loads, and that's how London be even if you're not a student] Ronnie: [how long do we think she should stay for this time because obvs she's coming back again and again but] Joe: [hmm, like he isn't gonna tell her to go so it's on her for how long she can deal lol] Ronnie: [just cos I'm thinking she should leave because something happens/almost does and it freaks her out because she's meant to hate him and there's only so much you can play off as doing for shock value when you're blatantly into it] Joe: [that makes sense, clearly it ain't gonna take long for that to transpire] Ronnie: [yeah a few days is what I'm imagining, but like enough that she probably thinks nothing will happen because it hasn't so far, if that makes sense] Joe: [i'm with it] Ronnie: [how far do we wanna go is always the question] Ronnie: [okay idea time, hear me out hun, what if it's like an unexpectedly pure/cute moment by their standards that happens in the day to day because the obvious would be to have them go all in when they are fucked up but like think about it] Joe: [that's what I thought too though 'cos it's more impactful 'cos it isn't as if it's gonna start with a kiss when it does for real like it's all extra and them to cover that it's about anything but being fucked up, so that would shake you both] Ronnie: [so glad we're on the same page here, like I can't think of a good example of what I mean/think should happen but] Joe: [we know the vibe, doing something vaguely domestic before realizing what you're doing] Ronnie: [so she gotta run away and nobody is gonna know where she is or what she's doing for a bit soz Charlie & Bronson] Joe: [you wanna skip to that time period now, this hasn't been excessively long or anything[ Ronnie: [we totally can because we can always skip back/add it if we think of anything else we wanna do while she's there etc] Ronnie: [I've had a potential idea how to start this so neither of them technically has to bite the bullet and go first like if you give me a rough idea what kind of thing Charlie would say e.g where are you/are you dead bitch and I'll reply here like she's in the wrong convo lol] Joe: [that's a good idea boo, probably something like you can stop hiding now and an update about whatever the fuck he's up to in his life which you can make up you know the vibe lol] Ronnie: [I was just like realistically if they were both shook by what happened neither of them are gonna be like oh hey] Joe: [yeah like it'd take him a while even if he would 'cos not just gonna let this go that easy, so it's a solid way to do it] Ronnie: a real scouse ma's meant to shout down the street when its time to stop playing about Ronnie: lazy cunt Joe: I'm only half if I'm anything, and you probably won't give me that any rate Ronnie: 🖕 not talking to you Ronnie: got the wrong gaylord Joe: easy mistake Joe: you not got his number saved? Ronnie: if this was my phone yeah Joe: newly acquired then Ronnie: mine broke Joe: my condolences Joe: wall or pavement? Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter Joe: just making conversation whilst you're here Ronnie: if youve got something to say go ed Ronnie: but if youre gonna pussy out as per it got waterlogged Joe: you dying for the uni update like my ma is a top performance, cheers, like Joe: rice didn't work or you didn't fancy eating toilet water rice after Ronnie: loads in common me & her aint just a pretty face like Ronnie: dont know what kind of fucking 12 year old in a k hole at a festival you take me for mckenna Joe: yeah, it's a shame Joe: soph says save some for the 🐎s Ronnie: cold showers work better for misery boners than they do a suspected od but these fucking amateurs aint know jack shit obviously Ronnie: shame & shameful that is Joe: I'm a better sesh companion Ronnie: ill take the 🐴 Ronnie: whole or in bits Joe: seems the possessive type Ronnie: thats your bitch Joe: who I meant but I ain't claiming her Ronnie: bet shed be made up over a uni update Joe: bold of you to assume we haven't had many delightful lunch dates whilst you've been having cold showers Ronnie: give a fuck if youve been eating her out at any time of day Joe: yeah well I'm pretty gutted you've replaced me with another newbie Ronnie: stop fucking crying Ronnie: i aint running a nursery Joe: ain't the only one sounds of your reply Ronnie: fuck off Joe: reckon he's over you getting the sack now Ronnie: not everythings about that mary Ronnie: & he aint my keeper Joe: just your mum, I got the message Ronnie: he reckons he can baby me it aint the same thing Joe: he's older than you yeah Ronnie: youve got a sister other than me dont act like you cant get your head round it Joe: not really my M.O. Ronnie: special yeah Joe: she's got a dad and another brother happy enough to oblige Ronnie: i dont need to puke up my good time Joe: thought your stomach and nerve were meant to be stronger than that Ronnie: whatever you think about me is bullshit baby Joe: just what you've put out there Ronnie: & yours is heroics just warning you this aint no od like Ronnie: aint gotta press eject Joe: you're typing Joe: don't think anyone knows you well enough to commit to the impression here Ronnie: talking Ronnie: everyone knows idle hands are dangerous Ronnie: but that dont mean i gotta keep em busy typing Joe: yeah Joe: know the feeling Ronnie: its used to my accent & everything Ronnie: more than i can say for the live cunts here Joe: you in 💘 with your phone that's dead cute Joe: its worse when you're angry Ronnie: not in 💘 with kent Ronnie: your girlfriend proper missold it Joe: fuck off are you in kent 😂 Ronnie: fucked you over if you were gonna come carry me out again Joe: acting like you didn't ask Joe: if you're going to now, do it, like Ronnie: if you dump her back home who the fucks keeping the leccy on Joe: only got a baby habit ain't I Ronnie: what so youre carrying me out & dumping me where Ronnie: anywhere near & im taking your money shithead Joe: we don't need electric Ronnie: how will you get off on me wearing your mams face in the dark Joe: would hate to waste your hard work, obviously Ronnie: what hard work Joe: liberating my mums face from her skull Ronnie: be my pleasure Ronnie: all play Joe: alright then Joe: i'll be able to keep up Ronnie: big talk for a 12 year old virgin Joe: hiding it kent you can't talk or type about it Ronnie: im not fucking hiding Joe: yeah right Ronnie: plain sight baby Joe: 40 miles Ronnie: & Joe: if you wanna play, you're gonna have to give me another clue Joe: know if i'm getting warm Ronnie: [a blurry picture clue] Ronnie: 💘 Joe: they new friends or old Ronnie: waste of a question Joe: how many do i have left Ronnie: 39 but if you need that many dont fucking bother Joe: you don't wanna disappointed so bad Ronnie: you disappoint me by coming out the same hole Joe: that don't have to matter Joe: plenty have Ronnie: yeah but i aint met the rest of your happy family Joe: you wanna Ronnie: 38 now Joe: it could've been a statement Ronnie: was it Joe: 39 for you Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: you wanted to go to the beach Ronnie: that a question or what soft lad Joe: ?* Ronnie: didnt know there was 1 Joe: it's a county you know Ronnie: how the fuck would i know that Ronnie: shut up Joe: do you wanna go to the beach Ronnie: i can drown you in the sink Joe: i didn't put you in the shower Joe: or your phone Ronnie: youd have been made up by how blue i went though Ronnie: well like a dead girl Joe: yeah? Joe: what's it feel like Ronnie: youll get your own go Ronnie: aint holding your hand forever like Joe: gutted Ronnie: you wont reckon so when you outgrow that baby habit Joe: i'd mind if you died Ronnie: give you something to cry about Ronnie: youd be fucking into it Joe: nah Joe: people who've got shit to mope on usually don't Joe: enjoy it too much don't I, can't be having it validated, takes the fun out Ronnie: most dont reckon a happy end would be cumming inside their ma Ronnie: youd enjoy having a reason to celebrate or trauma bond depending on her fucking take Joe: our mate freud would disagree Joe: she'd wear black for the rest of her life, if that's what you wanna hear Joe: but counting it as a question, 38 Ronnie: why the fuck would i wanna hear that Ronnie: be boss for her if she never shifted her bastard baby weight like Joe: 37 unless it's rhetorical Joe: i dunno what will make you feel better Ronnie: 38 wasn't a question in the first place you just counted it cause youre a cheating lil bitch Joe: what's the prize and why do you want it so much Ronnie: use your imagination fucks sake Ronnie: why do you always want your hand held Joe: waste of a question Joe: 'cos I'm such a mummy's boy duh Ronnie: if shed let you walk into the road i wouldnt be answering any of your pussy questions Ronnie: 💔 Joe: be a lot easier for all of us Joe: i'll throw myself in front of the tube, fuck up everyone's day Ronnie: ill pick myself up from kent then yeah Joe: oh so you've claimed selfish have you Ronnie: no shit nancy drew Ronnie: fitz is still crying that i 💉 you up Joe: bless Joe: you're not claiming what got me there Ronnie: cant i wasnt fucking there Joe: then don't feel guilty Ronnie: dont fucking flatter yourself Ronnie: could care less Joe: you who's trying Ronnie: taking away a question if youre gonna lie Joe: not 12, not a virgin, don't need you to hold my hand Joe: i wanted to and want to Ronnie: made up horse girl took it while i was away Joe: yeah Ronnie: get yourself checked for 🐴 aids or whatever Joe: could care less is right Ronnie: bullshit youll be gutted if you dick falls off before you put it in your ma Joe: talking about how much you do Ronnie: what are big sisters for Ronnie: ask the other one & hell stutter round how much i dont too Joe: it's not the same Ronnie: you aint special mckenna how many times Ronnie: let your ma feed you that bullshit Ronnie: & fuck knows what youve already caught from my blood Joe: bit late for warnings Ronnie: you had one first time we met like Ronnie: got eyes Joe: exactly Joe: i'm not gonna take the hint Ronnie: too subtle for you yeah Joe: if you think you could be any more blatant Joe: have fun trying Ronnie: i am Ronnie: kent dont know what hit it Joe: i bet Joe: where have you been but some strangers doss house then Joe: and that is a question Ronnie: fuck knows Ronnie: been a blur Joe: you know its about 1,500 square miles yeah Joe: remember one landmark Ronnie: you know youre only getting any fucking answers cause im coming down Joe: we don't have to play this game Joe: if you tell me where you are, you'll be picked up quicker and then you can get whatever you need Ronnie: [a location, lord only knows] Joe: alright Ronnie: for you getting high of your bullshit heroics Joe: if it makes you feel better that you need rescuing Ronnie: do i fuck Joe: then you just wanna see me Joe: either way Ronnie: shut up Joe: what's better for you? Ronnie: your money then your life Joe: very adam ant Joe: and can be arranged Joe: even though you don't have a horse or a car so I'm more of a highwayman than you Ronnie: i aint getting on your gilfriends horse i know where its been Joe: 😏 Joe: you can just admit she's more up for it than you Ronnie: admit youre fucking brain damaged Ronnie: let her be up for hand holding & playing house Joe: what are big sisters for Ronnie: beating the shit out of you Joe: look forward to it Ronnie: yeah youve missed me Joe: not afraid to say it Ronnie: write a song about it Ronnie: no names & you can play it for any bitch Joe: thanks for the hot tip Joe: kill some time on this drive Ronnie: shouldve stuck your judy in the boot Ronnie: be eye spy & red car the whole fucking way Joe: haven't put the plastic sheet down Joe: 💔 short notice Ronnie: so torch it Ronnie: i know youve always got a lighter on you Joe: what gave it away Ronnie: ive got eyes baby Joe: try not to wear it on my sleeve though Ronnie: done a shit job there Joe: why do you show yours off Ronnie: whats the point of only feeling it on the inside Joe: doing it is feeling it on the outside Ronnie: im what they fucking made me they can look at it Joe: that makes sense Joe: yeah Ronnie: what the hell are you scared of Joe: I dunno Joe: doesn't feel like fear Joe: blending in or disappearing has always been preferable Ronnie: & you have the balls to reckon im hiding here Joe: it ain't hiding if no fucker's looking Joe: easier for them and me, like Ronnie: if you gave a shit about easier you wouldnt have looked for me Joe: it was last-ditch attempt Joe: see if you were the same, like all of them too Joe: or not Joe: and you're not Ronnie: cause she ditched me Joe: maybe Ronnie: i didnt have the luxury of blending in Joe: it's not a luxury Ronnie: not when you have it Ronnie: care kids dont Joe: not at all Joe: it was a necessity to not blow my brains out and all i ended up was cracked and wishing i had Joe: you didn't have a family to not belong in Ronnie: & you did em such a massive fucking favour by not ending it all yeah Ronnie: i dont know you or fucking care & i can tell youre desperate to Joe: if she can't get over you, and she never stuck around to know you Joe: it's fuck all to do with the person and everything to do with the label Joe: son, brother Joe: you're meant to care even if life is better or basically the same without Ronnie: good fucking thing i like downers Ronnie: youd ruin an e Joe: cheers Ronnie: get over her for fucks sake Ronnie: keep saying youre not 12 Joe: didn't have that luxury Ronnie: loads more cunts willing to fuck you over Ronnie: live a little like Joe: yeah that'll make it worth it Joe: dead inspirational Ronnie: try your other sister Joe: i'm sure she'd have even more helpful advice Ronnie: take it then Ronnie: ill kill you before i give you a reason to live Joe: you know i ain't fucking looking for one Ronnie: yeah Joe: you need anything Ronnie: i didnt tell you were to get fuck all out of it Joe: apart from a lift Ronnie: what do you reckon Joe: kk Ronnie: 💘 Joe: still not healed Joe: also looks like jobn now Ronnie: anything to make you feel special baby Joe: what I reckon Ronnie: i didnt reckon ocd made you that delusional Ronnie: but when you change it to say jobs youll blend right in Joe: not quite as fitting as when johnny did it Ronnie: whats your girlfriends name Joe: i'll find one to make it fit Joe: josie or jody maybe Ronnie: 💔 no decent gear has a girls name Joe: girls like to party not nod out Joe: gutted Ronnie: ive got a lads name i get why youre confused Joe: you didn't wanna change it Ronnie: you offering up the cash Joe: bit of a waste Joe: just for the paperwork Ronnie: yeah it is Joe: you dunno what to pick Ronnie: swear words aint allowed Joe: don't matter if you're just doing it, telling new people it's your name like Ronnie: not an underage tranny Joe: right Ronnie: bit fucking late now Joe: youre attached Ronnie: i dont care Joe: yeah Ronnie: not what i hate her for Joe: it's a lesser sin Joe: and not the worst name Ronnie: if thats your way of trying to namedrop the others, dont Joe: why would I Ronnie: i dont know you cant really answer why youd do fuck all Joe: i don't need to ask if you want to know them Ronnie: like their names are gonna tell me who they are Joe: like you care Ronnie: like thats ever stopped you Joe: I can't un-find you Joe: but I'm not going to force you to meet any of them or know any more than what's been said Ronnie: no fixed address remember Ronnie: cant make it much fucking easier for you Joe: no, you can't Ronnie: stop crying then Ronnie: you can do better than a car crash Joe: do better Ronnie: yeah like washing up on the beach Ronnie: keep every cunt guessing how you died Joe: see how many beaches I can end up on Ronnie: dead romantic Joe: you can have fun with the hacksaw anyway Joe: least I could do Ronnie: you dont owe me Joe: i do Ronnie: for what Joe: for finding you when you didn't want finding Ronnie: you got the wrong bastard Ronnie: loads of others would be made up Joe: would they? Joe: regardless, I did it for me Ronnie: fuck off trying to take selfish off me Joe: 😏 Ronnie: been a few days since ive used a phone as a weapon Ronnie: keep on if you want it chucked at you Joe: you've promised better than that Ronnie: course you cant last through the foreplay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: you fucking wish soft lad Joe: you wish i wished Ronnie: i fucking dont Joe: alright Ronnie: keep the 🕯🌹 for your girlfriend like Ronnie: fuck all i can do with soft Joe: lighters and poppies suit me better as well Ronnie: next tattoos then Ronnie: dont know if itll look like a poppy but fuck it Ronnie: ill cut it out if you dont like it Joe: even if we avoid the sleeve, still a lot of skin to ruin Joe: are you just going over now Ronnie: waste of a question Ronnie: theres fuck all you can do Joe: what, my scribbles weren't a masterpiece compared to your boyfriends Ronnie: told you get what you pay for mckenna Ronnie: & that i dont get hard for mozart & the like Joe: weren't gonna score a symphony on you but alright Joe: no touching Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you & your baby habit dont score Joe: just pays Ronnie: dead comforting when i get robbed & left in a kent ditch Joe: it'll be the nicest ditch you've ever been in Ronnie: squatters rights Joe: my bed ain't comfy enough Ronnie: its the fact that its yours making me wanna hang myself with a sheet Ronnie: should say its too soft like you though shouldnt i Ronnie: gutted i fucked that up like Ronnie: we were playing so nice Joe: yeah, goldilocks suits Ronnie: unless your hair has fallen out Joe: I've not pulled it out either Joe: or soph, like Ronnie: not enough like a mane for her Joe: 💔 Joe: if only she'd have known me a few years ago Ronnie: get the family album out shell be made up Joe: shed a tear over our lack of horse Joe: sympathy fuck is better than none yeah Ronnie: the lack of me will really get her going Ronnie: had the pity eye fuck soon as i showed up Joe: she's an empath, babe, why she's so good at art Joe: lack of you might be an issue for me though Ronnie: another word for nosy cunt Joe: undoubtedly Joe: if i could sum up what was wrong with me for her I would Joe: but guess she likes the guessing Ronnie: if she was scouse shed just fucking come out with it Joe: gobshites, yeah Ronnie: what you get for having girlfriends who aint even wool Ronnie: self hatred making you go posh about it Joe: my last actual girlfriend was Ronnie: & youre claiming her Joe: not still writing songs about her Joe: well, never was Ronnie: shell still be 💔 Joe: nah Ronnie: you keep her waiting this long or am i that special Joe: you don't even know how far you've gone from london Joe: you're nearly 2 hours away Ronnie: if youre sticking to the speed limit Ronnie: stop being a pussy Joe: meet me and the car in the next ditch over Ronnie: more hand holding for fucks sake Joe: more than that if you want that lift Joe: have to drag the car out and hotwire it Joe: scrape me off the windshield Ronnie: i told you to stop getting me & what im into Joe: maybe i'm trying really hard Ronnie: far as hurting yourself goes thats the shittest way to have a go Joe: 💔 too weak Ronnie: keep your limp wrists on the steering wheel Ronnie: i wanna get out of here Joe: 😏 Joe: in a bit then Joe: got speeding to do and if you won't shut up Ronnie: youd have to try harder to make me Ronnie: that aint fucking likely Joe: only have to ask Joe: not nice or nothing Ronnie: i dont ask for handouts theyre given to me on account of all those mental problems ive got Joe: wouldn't it be nice to be the one doing the charity work for once Ronnie: if thats the only high youre offering me turn the fuck around Joe: not that daft Ronnie: your ma tell you that Joe: loads Ronnie: her judgements for shit not getting rid of us both with a hanger Joe: agreed Ronnie: dont put a kid in her shed only keep that one too Joe: still raising the last one Ronnie: like thatd stop her Ronnie: no fucking time wasted Joe: she did stop Joe: hence the 9 year gap oopsie baby Ronnie: reckon shed know what causes it by then Joe: Ireland got to her I guess Ronnie: dead keen for my invite now Joe: put it across as a valid form of contraception Joe: chlamydia Joe: they'd go for it Ronnie: worked for me Joe: postergirl Ronnie: 💔 there was no need to sew myself up Ronnie: be more fun than whichever fuck gave me it Joe: god willing Ronnie: your catholic one would be dead willing Joe: you're thinking of the wrong over-zealous christian country Ronnie: not on the right drugs for that kind of bullshit thinking Joe: 🍄 Joe: look out for cowshit whilst you're waiting Ronnie: that determined for me to see the sights yeah Joe: can't waste such an opportunity Ronnie: 🖕 watch me Joe: kent only comes calling so many times, like Joe: your choice Ronnie: shell be taking you every time uni gives you time off Joe: i'm good for it Ronnie: its well cute that you reckon youve got any say Ronnie: possessive type i heard Joe: 😏 Ronnie: she changed the 🔒 on your room yet Joe: keep you in or out? Ronnie: reckon it ended at the pity eye fuck for me & her Joe: 💔 Ronnie: yeah Joe: i'll talk her 'round for you Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: i dont need you to translate for me Ronnie: we got the money your carer role is over Joe: it's all in the eyes, I heard you Joe: not patronizing on your deep relationship Ronnie: shut up Joe: 🤐 Ronnie: & drive faster Joe: 👌 Ronnie: fucking hell i can see why shes fucking obsessed with you Joe: if you want chat Joe: definitely in the wrong place Joe: she don't need to know my ears aren't listening to hers Ronnie: she already knows you do what youre told without talking back Ronnie: like a battered wife Joe: anything for an easy 💀 Ronnie: youre coming to the right place for that Ronnie: but i wont tell her Joe: it's not a reportable crime Ronnie: im not a snitch & i can wear shades if she tries to eye fuck her way to finding fuck all out Joe: dunno if that's enough of a disguise but I don't care Joe: a habit, she could say something about that Joe: but the rest Ronnie: what rest Ronnie: you only want a habit Joe: speak for yourself Ronnie: im echoing you Ronnie: you fucking said it Joe: you know it's not true though Ronnie: youre full of shit yeah Joe: yeah Joe: you too if you wanna pretend about it Ronnie: i dont play pretend im not a fucking kid Joe: good Joe: then you know what's happening here Ronnie: [a picture or video of whatever is happening where she is, lord knows] Joe: you don't have to reciprocate, dickhead Joe: no need to try and make me crash Ronnie: thought youd grown a set of balls & had em drop while ive been here Ronnie: what it sounded like Joe: how olds the other one Joe: he looks younger than me Ronnie: didnt do a survey Joe: I mean your mate, I don't know his name Joe: not Charlie Ronnie: 17 Joe: he must've been a baby when you met, like Ronnie: whats your point Joe: ain't got one Joe: just wondering Ronnie: youre not his type Joe: he's not mine Ronnie: stop wondering then Joe: why? Ronnie: hes fuck all to do with you Ronnie: your mam didnt push him out Joe: not trying to get to know him over you Ronnie: then why do you care Joe: same age as my brother Joe: and the girl my parents took in, one of Joe: that's it Ronnie: here we fucking go Ronnie: you said you werent gonna do that Joe: you kept asking Ronnie: cause i dont want you fucking nonce my brother Ronnie: give a fuck about yours Joe: 'cos you think I would, alright Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: i dont know what youd do Ronnie: dont fucking know you Joe: well I'm straight and entirely uninterested Ronnie: youre also full of shit Joe: why do you give a fuck Joe: I'm only a year older, if I wanted to, I would Ronnie: why do i give a fuck that you lied to me or about him Ronnie: go ed & wonder about it Joe: it weren't a lie Joe: shit changes Ronnie: i dont wanna hear about them that aint gonna change Joe: fine Ronnie: fuck you Joe: also fine Joe: sorry, alright Joe: it means fuck all Ronnie: its not fine Ronnie: & it means im gonna be running comparisons in my head Joe: just forget about it Joe: of course they're all around my age ish, it don't mean you know any more about them Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: it don't matter Ronnie: cause you get to tell me what matters too yeah Joe: come on Ronnie: you dont or what to fucking do either Joe: then what Joe: I said it, I said sorry Joe: you do what you must Ronnie: go home & give horse girl your sorry Joe: fuck that Joe: you still need to get back to London and I'm nearly there Ronnie: i got here i can leave here Joe: bullshit Ronnie: you wish Joe: well I'm still coming Ronnie: i dont care Ronnie: youve been going on about how big it is Ronnie: stay the fuck away from me Joe: Jesus fucking christ don't be such a pussy Ronnie: you fucking wish Joe: whatever Joe: this is going nowhere right now Joe: you know where to find me when you wanna actually do something about it Ronnie: your half arsed self destruction is going nowhere Ronnie: do something about that your fucking self instead of trying to bait me Joe: I'm still on my way Ronnie: kents full of real pussys you can save Ronnie: youll 💘 it Joe: I don't give a fuck, Ronnie Ronnie: why are you crying Ronnie: you fucked me over Joe: because this is a waste of time Ronnie: youre a junkie now get used to it Joe: at least I've got that Ronnie: youre welcome baby Joe: good luck finding decent shit in kent Ronnie: not going with you dont mean im staying here Joe: but I've got mine already Ronnie: you can have selfish Joe: I told you I was bringing more for you Joe: if you can get over it you can have your share Ronnie: ill take it over it not Ronnie: *or Ronnie: you cant fucking stop me Joe: say you want me to come then Joe: i know where you are, not the other way 'round Ronnie: youre the liar mckenna Ronnie: i dont want you to be anywhere Joe: then why should I come and share Joe: that's a question Ronnie: you love heroics Joe: [show up at this point] Ronnie: [what a fun little reunion that'll be] Joe: [so, we know the vibes but also do we wanna pitch it out] Ronnie: [we totally can for our own amusement/in case a moment or something happens again] Joe: [so obviously he gets there and she's gonna be fuming hens, yeah?] Ronnie: [she gonna fight him lol enjoy that random peeps] Ronnie: [but that works cos like if someone takes that seriously instead of realising we just flirting with each other then they gotta go] Joe: [go away for some alone time to take your drugs somewhere, we voting beach] Ronnie: [yeah because realistically nobody will be there at this o clock unless they are likewise up for shady shit so it works for them as well as being romantic for us because has she been to the beach before probably not] Joe: [so unintentionallly wholesome] Ronnie: [try not to freak out immediately about that this time lads] Joe: [or OD again] Ronnie: [or freeze to death because when are you ever dressed for the weather gal] Joe: [have to stay close purely for warmth whoops] Ronnie: [can't pretend you're angry enough to be at the other end of the beach its not that deep] Joe: [shame it'll be too late to get fish n chips or something beach related but you can skim stones] Ronnie: [I wonder if there's anywhere you could break into because always a mood] Joe: [on a lot of seafronts they have those shelter moments that are boarded up you know what I mean] Ronnie: [yeah that was what I had in mind] Joe: [was that tracy beaker when jess and that girl were snuggled in there and tracy thought it was a lad lollol] Ronnie: [I loved that bit] Joe: [soz i've forgotten your name but that whole character and vibe was a mood, buzzing for the show/movie whatever they're doing] Ronnie: [a child Tess mood 100%] Joe: [fosho fosho, you're gonna have to sleep on this beach/his car 'cos not letting you drive in that state for that long yet tah] Ronnie: [we all know you're gonna be snuggling and I'm here for it, maybe you can get fish and chips in the am/when you wake up] Joe: [for breakfast lol, get all the sugary snacks as well like candy floss doughnuts, casual binge here like neither of you clearly eats much day to day] Ronnie: [healthwise you've both got bigger problems so we can allow it] Joe: [sugar high, living for unintentional wholesomeness lol] Ronnie: [love the childlike vibe always] Joe: [when I go the hunstanton with the gals, which is like, scummy seaside vibes you know, there's always rides there, but also there was like a tattoo hut where you could get actual tattoos for like a fiver and it looks so dubious lol] Ronnie: [omg that is amazing and we must] Joe: [you could get piercings too which might have him do just to mess with it] Ronnie: [we know she already has so likewise not gonna resist getting another, the more extra the better though placement wise cos we do love to shock joseph with our endeavours] Ronnie: [whack a tit out casually or whatever like] Joe: [lmao, dreading these infections hens] Ronnie: [I went to margate and all I got was this lousy tat and a persistent infection, put that on a t-shirt] Joe: [shame they only do flashes gals] Ronnie: [get some DIYing happening lads, we know that kind of thing is flirting for you] Joe: [the tension at this point like you've actually shown loads of restraint even though the opposite seems true lol] Ronnie: [lowkey not what anyone would expect of you which is why I like it] Joe: [mhmm not actually all doom and gloom even if we say and pretend it or what would be the point] Ronnie: [they'd actually be having such a lovely time and when was the last time either of them did, I'm fine about it yep] Joe: [truly, it ain't just about the drugs or any of the 'fucked up ness' from the off and that's the tea no one else be seeing] Ronnie: [mhmm and it wouldn't last how it does if it was] Joe: [connection huns] Ronnie: [the TENSION on this car journey back like don't crash tbh] Joe: [at least you can play really loud music and pretend that's distraction enough] Ronnie: [and play with your new injuries] Ronnie: [lowkey bonding even more about your love of music though we see you] Joe: [mhmm, when it's not all classical obvs 'cos you aren't Rosaline] Ronnie: [probably drop her at Charlie's hun cos otherwise something is gonna happen] Joe: [hope you brought him some rock but i know you did not lol, go make friends again, you go think 'bout your life joseph] Ronnie: [probably stole him a postcard that you've written some bants on to slide under his door] Joe: [that's cute, hilarious over-sexual postcard as they always are] Ronnie: [yeah exactly and then he knows you're back so you can talk or whatever you're gonna do to clear the air] Joe: [that's this era in general we know the vibe]

[glamrockmonarch]

Brian wouldn't be amused by the way I start my sentences...but oh well!

So I was browsing as one does first thing in the morning...and I saw this beauty of a post. Which was so short and precise, straight to the point...everything I am not. Naturally, I thought to myself "thats so cute!" And then I got hit by another post by someone else (I cannot find it, my app reloaded AHHH! TUMBLR MOBILE APP HELL!) where I saw some soft pictures of Joe with children...So...

I present to you:

Baby Fever: an AU

Aka a side project for this fine blog to forever be too much for me.

It's a series where I will just let out some steam from my soft soft heart in the form of writing about Daddy!Ben, Daddy!Gwil, Daddy!Rami, Daddy!Joe, and why the fuck not: Mama!Lucy. All in the same AU for my personal enjoyment!

And we're starting with Joe. Enjoy!

Second Time Around

Summary: You and Joe have a complex relationship, friends to lovers? Ah, yes? Now married for four years with a two year old boy to call your own, things lately have been busy for Joe, and you have put a hold on baby no. 2...Or have you?

"Joe?" You somehow manage to open the door while carrying the bag full of groceries.

The day has been menacing with rain since early in the morning and you knew you had very little time to get around your chores before it started pouring. You also had a busy night ahead of you, with the baseball on tonight, you know your husband will definitely want to cuddle with you and watch the game. Hence the beer and frozen pizza still in your car.

"Yes?" You heard two voices, different in their entirety coming from the hall.

Looking up, you felt a little helpless; struggling to keep the bag in your hands as you tried to make your way into the open kitchen space. Peaceful as ever Joe came into view in one of his sweatpants and a shirt, your beautiful little boy perched up on his hip giggling at Joe's beard that he kept playfully rubbing against his son's soft cheek and nose.

"Dada!" He wiggled in his arms.

"Obviously the one that goes to the gym and allegedly carried 70 pounds on Monday!" You huffed on your way past them.

You were just so drained from all energy you really needed Joe's help.

Joe gave baby Joey a look and rushed to say hello to you, as he had been busy that morning and didn't get to spend much time with you other than breakfast and that short moment when you kissed his lips before her drove Joe to daycare so you could get a head start on everything.

"Here, I'll get those," Joe said as he handed you Joe and let you take a breath.

You enjoyed those little moments when everything fit in so well. Joe was your best friend before you started going out romantically. You knew he had his history with other women, and he was a few years older than you...but you came to see him as something else. Joe seemed to realise you were all he ever needed and wanted at about the same time; it was a matter of weeks before you were official, after years of friendship but anyway: you moved quite fast! And it never felt like it was happening that fast at all, nor that you needed to catch to something. It was your own pace and it worked perfectly for you.

Now you ask Joey about his day and smile at him as he goes on and on about what he did at the day care today and what fun he had with Dada after he picked him up.

"Oh, you got invited to a party?" You opened your eyes wide.

Joey giggled and nodded while Joe came in through the door, kicking it closed behind him as he handled every remaining bag. Kudos to him: he didn't drop a thing.

Joe gave his son a smile and turned to you, acting as if he had been smelling around.

"I think we have a visit from Stinky, babe."

Joe pinched his nose once he put everything down on the counter.

You giggled and looked at Joey, who did need a shower but still acted as he was wondering who Joe could be talking about.

"I'll get started," you nodded up at the ceiling and Joe got it, starting to put the groceries in place. "Don't be late, captain!"

You took your son upstairs and ran the bath for him, making sure you had all his toys. After you tied your hair up and you got Joey undressed to put in the bath which he enjoyed very much.

"Mammy, do the thing with the shampoo!" He jumped around in the tub.

It was as if that was Joe's cue, he walked in then and made his way to the two of you.

"Alright, little man...that's Daddy's gig!"

You took a step back and let Joe do his thing, fooling around with Joey during bath time, not that you didn't join in...

And in fact it was a fun part of your day, laughing with your two favourite men in the world as Joey giggled with the towel wrapped around his little body.

It was safe to say that Joey was out as soon as you got him dressed in his pjs, this was maybe one of those moments that were simply yours regardless of Joe being home or not: your baby will always prefer being safely wrapped in your arms as he doses off to sleep. And that's exactly what he did while Joe read a bedtime story to him, which your little one didn't pay much attention to.

Finally, you sat with Joe downstairs in the living room wearing your comfy sweats and a tank top, sighing and laying your head on his shoulder you got around to watching the game. Joe wrapped his arm around you and held you, he could tell there had been something on your mind for the past couple of days but he knew better than to push you onto talking: you would talk to him when you were ready and that was more than okay.

"Joe?" You finally let out.

"Yes, YN?"

Joe played it cool because he didn't want to sound too eager to listen but he was curious and he was starting to get concerned.

"I'm pregnant."

The game was still on when you blurted the words out, regardless, Joe straightened up and turned to you. You sat up right as well, turning to him.

"You...what?"

Joe seemed to go pale, he knew you didn't want to have a baby at the moment, he was working more and he would be away from home for a while that year. You talked about it and agreed you would wait till next year...and yet: here you were sitting next to him looking some kind if way.

Joe examined your expression for a second and he knew what he was seeing. You were not scared, you couldn't be! You've done this before. And you were not mad either, a baby would never be a reason to make you mad... You were worried. You had every right to be, because you knew the struggles of pregnancy and you knew how hard and how easy some things had been even with Joe by your side so knowing now that you would be doing most of the journey without him and with Joey to care for was placing questions and worries in your mind.

"The doctor told me on Wednesday." You explained, "7 weeks."

Joe opened his mouth in astonishment, he didn't expect this news at all, it had only been a few weeks since you switched from the injections to the pill. He expected something else like you wanting to tag along for the five month shoot he was going on in July. He covered his mouth with his hand and then reached out to hold you, his arms wrapped tight and secure around your sensitive frame.

"Babe, that's wonderful!"

Joe kissed the top of your head to sooth you, he was already starting to feel his heart swell with love for your little baby.

"Yeah..." You mumbled on his shoulder and held on to him for what he felt was the longest he held you ever. "But I'm worried you'll miss most of this." You pulled away and put your hand on your still very normal not-pregnant-looking belly.

Joe gave you a side smile and brought his hand on top of yours, his thumb caressing your knuckles.

"YN, I'll find a way. Promise."

You looked into each other's eyes and although you didn't want to, you let out some tears. Which Joe quickly wiped away, kissing your cheeks he grabbed you and held you closer to him so you were almost completely laying on top of him with your head on his chest.

"You looked so pretty in those maternity panties...can't wait till they come back out!"

Strangely enough, Joe really did enjoy touching and holding you when you were pregnant the first time. He would always hold your hand at least, but mostly he loved to spoon you and run his hands all over your baby bumb all the way till the end of your pregnancy. He wasn't going to lie, he also quite enjoyed having sex with you during that time, it seemed something less kinky and more intimate than usual.

"Joe..." he made you giggle, which was his goal.

"Wait, does this mean I get to grow a dadstache?"

"Joe-no." You put your hand on his chest.

"Joe, ah-yes!"

Baby Fever Masterlist《《

[osomanga]

GK 198 Raws

I think I’m in love. 

Koito Yuki!

Otonoshin’s mom Yuki is so cute!!

Look at her!

She is just so...

...precious!!

Enter the devil Tsurumi

Oi get away from her you manipulative devil!

Talking of the devil...

Tsurumi’s hair just keeps giving off an Ogata energy throughout the chapter...

Nah, its Ogata++. (Tsurumi overall gives off an Ogata+++ vibe)

A pity his hairs always hidden now...

Thank god you scratch your beard and not swipe your hair...at least you can still continue...woops no. You swipe brain fluids now, don’t you?

(Hair and beard restyled just a smidge in the 2yrs since he met Koito...)

But God, Tsurumi is drop-dead gorgeous sexy unlike our kitten. 

He is definitely the handsomest+charmingest devil in all the GK universe!! Nobody, nor Kiroranke, not Kikuta...nobody has anything on him!!

I’m sorry but this is a whole chapter dedicated to Tsurumi’s beautiful face and hair, those *eyes*, his cheek that aren’t sunken yet, his expressions are so...

Oh hell yeah he is the seductive smooth evil mastermind! 

Oi wat the...

Tsurumi: Thanks. See you later then..

Oi you little Oy, get away from him!

Koito: Haha... Will we even really meet again?

Tsurumi(sparkling): If by some chance we do meet again, lets be friends as the higher authority dictated, shall we?

You devil calling your self heaven’s voice! 

There is no worse voice on heaven or earth Koito, than you could have dreamt of that would...never mind.

Seducing teenage boys 101...

Tsurumi wrote the entire manual!!

Oh you smooth-talking bastard!

Koito before meeting Tsurumi

Sensible, normal, angsty boy. 

Koito thereafter:-

Lets rename it as Tsukisappu or Tsurumi-sappo Syndrome, can we?

You know- Stockholm Syndrome+oh the adoration/ ye olde nanshoku syndrome..., the entire lot. 

君の欲しい言葉を僕は知ってる  

(Boku?? Tell me thats a quote/ref from somewhere)

 The words you desire to hear, I know them.

This manipulative bastard has a unique tactical blend ready for every valuable boy with daddy issues he’s recruited...

And for once even the daddy...

Tsurumi sure went fishing in Kagoshima...

I’m actually positively curious about how he went about it with Usami, Ogata and ifhe triedand failed with Yuu-kun...

Big bro’s name was Koito Heinojo.

Ye olde samurai name. Google brought up some Nobunaga time samurai brothers named Heiji and Heinojo

Heinojo had Heiji’s ‘Hei’ so poor lil’ Otonoshin’s name is the one that just came outta nowhere. I wonder if they had siblings in between?? Somehow it feels like just them two...

Fuck. I don’t like the feeling of being told the exact Koito’s exact timeline.

He was 8 when his brother who was 13 years older died on Sep 17, 1894(Meiji 27). 

His bro died age 8+13=21 

Heinojo was born in 1873 (approx)

Oy(Otonoshin) was born in 1886. (I wanna call him Oy even if it means I)

He would’ve been around 18 in 1904 when the Russo-Japan war broke out. (His bro ~= Tsukishima would have been 31).

He met Tsurumi when he was 14 that would be 1900. 

And this chapter is when he is 16, i.e. 1902 (2 yrs before the war)

If current manga timeline is 1906+, Oy is 20+ generally, more likely 21-23.

Ummm, anyway Heinojo was 13 yrs older than Koito. Tsukishima may have been his age or a bit younger. In any case, sigh...Koito def sees Tsuki as a big bro figure. Just don’t call him Daikon ok? And ohk...bombs...and their effects...

If Tsurumi is the Tsukisappu Sapporo 25th Army Intelligence officer, Tsukishima is with him too.

On that note, it is two years to the war. Ogata at least knew Yuusaku for a few months to a year before they were deployed. Yuusaku is either finishing up at the Army Academy or has graduated. Ogata may have enlisted(met Yuusaku a short while after enlisting).

Tsurumi’s cheeks are yet to get sunken. 

Little Oy’s relationship with big bro is so much more heart-breakingly sweet...

Heinojo was beautiful like their mom. (Oy too...he’s got his mom’s beauty too)

Bratty lil Koito less than 8yr ol being bratty and calling his big, big bro a daikon and Heinojo is affectionately reaching out to him, his tiny bro. (Sasuke-Itachi head tap not really but closest manga equivalent to how sweet in real life a memory like that is)

Ya know if ya know siblings with extreme large age differences they may have kinda drifted apart had he lived but...god, they’d have had the sweetest affectionate doting relation when Koito was a kid. Ever...!

And consequently, Koito suffers the worst reaction to his death and lil Oy’s fixation on the morbid imagery he overhears from the friend about his brother is...I know it all too well...but in those times and in his familial career choice predicament...

Sigh...the lil Oy’s seasickness isn’t so much seasickness as...

Sigh...

Koito Heiji...

Old school guy. 

Saw his son’s ship, the Mitsushima, get attacked from a neighbouring cruiser. Literally, witnessed the moment his beloved older son died.

Somewhere I can see glimpses of Nogi with him too: “The shogun didn’t even raise an eyebrow” is maybe..too eloquent for his set of eyebrows?

Returns home. Never scolds the little Oy again. Nor smiles...

I have no idea why but I almost feel like I’m sure I’ve met an old man or two like Heiji sometime(even though he can’t be all that old...50s?) - that dignified, silent, coldly practical type... 

A little too pragmatic

Well, his son who is equally pragmatic accepts that just as it is.

Tsurumi went after the son. And now...

going after the father...

He...really...

is one smoooooth...

On that note...after shedding Hasegawa’s spectacles, has he ever done any major intelligence situation handling that didn’t start in that brain of his a million chess moves ahead?

Or why the hell is it my mind just wont believe anything but that this is all according to keikaku. 

One horse rider with that cap, 

two hats in a carriage - the full set for a wild west bonbon kidnapping.

And the only speculation that comes to mind is that at least one of the kidnappers is Tsurumi’s men from the Tsukisappu Secret Service. I mean...it hardly feels a stretch. 

It’ll be a pleasant surprise if the situation turns out to be plain ol’ military teennapping or an...unexpected but known party instead.

Is that either of Tsukishima or Ogata feeding lil’ Oy?

I’d rather it be Tsukishima coz then they two’ll be a full set of Big bro-Lil bro, Stockholm-Lima. 

By the end it almost feels like somebody will soon die. 

And even feeling for Koito, I don’t want Ogata to die. Neither Koito. But then again, I didn’t want Kiro dying either...

Plz go some other direction o bone divinition! Begone!! 

[atlabeth]

okay so i normally leave my comments in the tags but this is so long (i have no idea how u can even write this much thank u so much for the gift) that i wanna be able to fit all my thoughts, and i dont think i can do that with the tag limit

“Year and a half,” he corrects, scoffing.

“Oh, are we skipping over the break-up this time?”

Rafe flicks your leg. “I know you love to tease me about that, but you’re the one who prefers our original anniversary, anyway.”

“Well yeah, because that makes our relationship a Cancer,” you explain.

this line sent me lmao. i love how much they tease each other about their relationship, like the "i think i'll just see you at the academy" and the breakup lol. it adds another level to how close they are and i love it

“I just… if we keep the original, then our anniversary is right around wedding season."

screaming. im screaming. do u hear me screaming. i lose it every time they talk about a wedding.

you're able to build tension so easily, like y/n's anxiety over going back to massachusetts its got me excited And nervous with only a few lines ! help

i feel so bad for rafe but him being so confused is so funny to me sdfjk. poor boy he didnt knowwwwww

“They’re gonna love you. C’mon, help me clear these plates. I want to get home before Dylan calls to cuss you the fuck out in approximately twenty minutes.”

PLEASE LMAO

aw omg rafe going to pick up dylan?? i love the relationship they have so much

"rafester" please

“Is she listening to her depression music?”

“What, Death Cab?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Rafe confirms.

“Oof,” Dylan groans. “Unsurprising.”

“Uh, excuse you. I’m an athlete, I gotta eat,” Dylan huffs. “And you love my sister, so if I take after her—Rafe, bro. Do you love me?”

i love dylan so much. underrated king with the younger sibling energy we need he has so many good lines just in this convo

“Top,” you groan. “What are the chances I convince you to wreck your car on the way to the ferry right now?”

sdfgjlkhasdl i feel her so hard

ahhhhhh more foreshadowing abt theo. im excited and nervous still

AWWW THATS SO CUTE. THE JEEP. NL RAFE MY KING

He grins sheepishly, and it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Sorry, thought my daddy issues might lighten the mood.”

crying

AH WE FINALLY HAVE THE BACKSTORY idk if im ready

the comparison between theo and rafe is just written so well. like i dont know how to explain it but i love the way you did it, and it's the perfect way to introduce him. like he seems like a good guy but there's just that one thread, of him not wanting to be with her in public and not really being there for her and just him casually talking down on the things she likes. idk it's just very real

“You’ve been ghosting us all summer for that dude? Fuckin’ Young Republicans club president? Nice one.”

fuck him up kelce

You make eye contact with Rafe across the living room one more time as Theo tugs you outside with a hand in yours, and you ignore his text asking if you were alright later that night.

ooh ouch my heart

“I heard you,” he interrupts. “But, love. We’re not really… this wasn’t anything serious for us, right? At least not for me.”

ooh ouch my heart AGAIN

alright everybody # fuck theo this guy uh sucks

ughhhhhh rafe's whole thing of being worried for her and not liking theo but not knowing a lot but UGH thats all. lots of feelings. him cheering her up is so nice though king

“None of that,” he decides. “Now get back in the car. You look cute in my jacket, but I am not built for this weather.”

thank u for this line after making us all sad with theo and y/n's emotions

WILBURRRRRR YES the (new) light of my life

“I will be on my absolute worst behavior,” he says. “You know this. You’ve always known this.”

"But, I want you to know I’m absolutely going to. At least twice. I think three is overdoing it, no?”

bro im about the start the dylan fan club he is my man

oh god oh fuck it's theo time why am i actually nervous lmao

If Rafe was sixteen years old again and not currently in front of half of your family, including a baby, he might’ve lunged over the table and laid Theo out right then and there.

he should do it anyway tbh

rafe with kendra 🥺🥺🥺🥺 baby w a baby

wow okay we hate june too! everyone leave rafe and y/n alone pls and thank you

“Well, it’s just—you know. Last I heard, Y/N was still babysitting for a living,” she chuckles, gesturing toward Rafe again. “So, I mean. Development, finance, it’s lucrative. That makes sense to me, for someone of her caliber.” ( i actually gasped at this line lmao )

YES thank u rafe for standing up for her. my king. again

oh god. theo. why. stop being such an asshole

even though i hate him so much i love the way you write him. there are so many guys out there like him and ur doing him perfectly and i hate him with a burning passion

THANK U RAFE oh my gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood im so glad he finally got to throw hands lmao. violence isnt the answer except against theo

rafe trying to prove that he loved her first im in SHAMBLES 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank you for this fluff after the theo situation

You put it simply, anyway. “You’re my guy, Rafe. I choose you. Always.”

IM CRYING

okay again: hate ward, love william. only room for one w named dad in this town

“Shit—sorry, fuck. Sorry."

rafe ily

im screaming at that ending. im so happy that rafe's putting distance between him and his dad because #fuck ward but also bc he loves his girl!!!! and i love how much he loves her!!!! and i love them!!!!!!

god this was a masterpiece in every way. i have no idea how you do it every time. like this was fuckin 28k but i didnt feel bored at any part in it. there were so many extra characters in y/n's family but all of them felt so well built even though they were just side characters. this was amazing, im in love with nl rafe, and you continue to create perfection. thank you so much for this <3

new light: better man — rafe cameron

new light series masterlist

summary: rafe meets the first boy that ever broke your heart.

wc: 28k+

warnings: swearing, drinking, alcohol, misogyny, familial problems, a guy being kinda scary for a sec, minor violence, lazy massachusetts geography and complete disregard for winter weather in new england and an under-researched portrayal of the publishing industry

a/n: this is so long. so so so long. i almost feel bad about posting it all at once but here she is! i’ve been working on this for a solid month and i had a lot of fun taking on something this big for new light. you might catch up on this and this if you haven’t been keeping up with the blurbs or just want a refresher :) enjoyyy

“What’re you reading?”

Rafe’s soft questioning is complemented by a light hand on the top of your head, his ringed fingers sifting through the tresses of your hair gently as he comes to stand behind the arm of the couch you’ve rested your head upon in the early afternoon.

“Article about maritime laws. Really interesting—I should probably email it to Agnes,” you murmur, your finger holding the spot in the magazine splayed across your lap as you crane your neck to look back up at him.

Rafe smiles at you, still stroking your hair. “How are they?”

“Good,” you answer, nodding and turning back to the page you were on. You finger the flimsy page between your pointer and middle fingertips, trying to resume your reading momentarily before tilting your head back again. A smile stretches across your face that matches Rafe’s own as you think about your old job. “Beckham looks so tall from the pictures she’s sent. Barron’s gonna hate it, but I think Becks will outgrow him when they’re a bit older.”

“Y’know, I see that. Totally,” Rafe agrees. A kiss is pressed into your hair, and then Rafe is moving past you to sit down near where your feet lay, a book soon perched in his lap. One you passed off to him—you devoured it in less than a week, and Rafe had asked to read it, too. He was about half as fast as you, still stuck in the first few chapters, but committed nonetheless.

You read a bit further into your chosen article, taking breaks to sip your coffee that was freshly refilled by your boyfriend before he sat down. You enjoy the peace and quiet, and that sunlight that streams in through the glass door to your backyard, hitting the strip of skin on your shoulders that’s exposed by your low-cut sweater. Your socked toes dig into Rafe’s thigh but you both just keep on reading, until his left hand falls from his book to encircle your ankle instead, giving it a squeeze to signal that he wants your attention.

“Y/n Y/l/n, did you know that we’ve never been away together?” he suddenly asks.

You flip your magazine over immediately, bookmarked on your place. “Rafe, that’s ridiculous.”

He just keeps reading, even flipping a page. His right leg bounces up and down. “Think about it.”

“You used to come to California all the time. I visited you in Georgia, too,” you say, your foot pushing into his thigh.

“Okay, but like. Away,” he elaborates, book still open in his lap.

“Hold on, stop that,” you demand. “I hate that you can read and carry a conversation at the same time.”

“I can’t—I’m gonna have to re-read these pages later,” he admits, the book snapping shut in his hand. He sets it down on the arm of the couch, turning to face you slightly. “Keep going.”

“We did St. Barts for New Years’ last year.”

“With the guys and Blythe,” Rafe adds.

“Okay, well—we went to Aspen a little bit after that, remember?”

“Oh, right. How could I forget sharing a bed with you and Davis?” he jokes.

You level Rafe with a look at the mention of that. “That’s not fair, he was going through a really rough time after that guy—”

“Baby, I’m not—you know I hated that guy, too. Wren and I kicked him out of your birthday party, remember?” Rafe asks. “Just saying, Aspen wasn’t the most… romantic trip we’ve ever been on.”

“Well, what about Vegas? I know you don’t remember much of that one, but—”

“We went with my friends that time,” he explains. “But this is what I’m getting at—we’ve never gone somewhere where one of us didn’t live, just the two of us. Ever.”

That gives you pause, and you fully close your magazine now, the glossy cover page slapping loudly onto the coffee table in front of the couch where you toss it. You cross your arms over your chest, looking at Rafe in confusion. “That can’t be right. We’ve been dating for a year now.”

“Year and a half,” he corrects, scoffing.

“Oh, are we skipping over the break-up this time?”

Rafe flicks your leg. “I know you love to tease me about that, but you’re the one who prefers our original anniversary, anyway.”

“Well yeah, because that makes our relationship a Cancer,” you explain.

“Plus,” Rafe agrees, past the point of arguing with you about the merits of astrology. “Having an anniversary around Thanksgiving is too much for our social calendar.”

“That’s not even—hush, you,” you say, reaching over to push his shoulder while he grins. “I just… if we keep the original, then our anniversary is right around wedding season. Was that your plan all along?”

Rafe came into the living room with a purpose this morning, you know that much. But he’s derailed by you and your subtle insinuation, suddenly leaning over and pressing his red cheeks into your face, getting kisses in wherever he can. “Actually, the plan all along would’ve been asking you out years and years ago.”

You ignore the beat of your heart to match his tone and mess with him right back. “Imagine us dating in high school, just for a second.”

“Uh. I have, and I did, for years,” Rafe reminds you. He sifts a heavy hand back through your hair again, smoothing the same strands he’d mussed up just seconds ago.

“Okay, so, a year and a half,” you finally agree, giving him a peck before leaning back into your end of the couch. “And we’ve never gone anywhere together, just the two of us?”

“Nope.”

“Well… wait. We have to go somewhere, then,” you decide.

“Why do you think I brought this up, Y/l/n?” Rafe smiles, talking out of the side of his mouth as he pretends to turn back to his book again. His head hangs to the side momentarily, catching your waiting, adoring gaze. “What are you doing this weekend?”

“Absolutely nothing. I’m all yours.”

“How do you feel about Massachusetts?”

You shouldn’t feel your body’s frame lock-up in anxiousness—Rafe knows about your family up there, of course he does—but you do anyway. You reach for your coffee cup on the table, taking a long sip. “That would be… fun.”

“Yeah? I was thinking we could go through Boston, then maybe drive out a ways—I was looking at some Airbnbs already, I can show you some right now,” Rafe says, hopping up to retrieve his laptop, his book finally forgotten for good. You stare into your coffee as you hear him poking around in the bedroom, your mind racing with the prospect of being that close to family you haven’t seen in years—family Rafe has never met in all of the time you’ve dated.

Your dad’s side of the family wasn’t one to come visit very often, and nobody in your immediate family was rather inclined to make the trip up. Except for your mom, whose passion to impress her in-laws had never faded, not since you could begin to notice it. Your mom’s family, on the other hand, lived in North Carolina, so you saw them all the time, and they were way more present in your life. Her parents came to your college graduation, they hosted dinners at their house almost every other week, and most importantly—they loved Rafe.

But your dad’s parents—your dad’s dad—that was an entirely different animal. And visiting their home state almost felt like entering the lion’s den, bringing your boyfriend along as unsuspecting prey.

“Topper actually had some recommendations, I guess he and Blythe kinda went all over when they were in school up there,” Rafe announces, coming back into the room with his laptop open. He’s typing rapidly with one hand, eyes reflecting the LED screen as he scans over the pages. Rafe looks really excited, and if you know him like you do, he’s probably had a Google Doc going for at least a few weeks.

You quickly shake your head to snap yourself out of those thoughts and set the coffee back down, making room for Rafe to come sit in between your legs.

Your boyfriend that you love worked very hard to do something nice for the two of you. And that’s the only way you had to look at it, for now. You can deal with the trickier emotions about your extended family and a certain family friend from your past later.

“Show them to me.”

—

Although you felt confident you were playing it cool about the entire thing, you forgot to clue Rafe in on one crucial detail: under no circumstances could your mother find out that the two of you were going to be anywhere within a one-hundred-mile radius of her in-laws.

To be fair, Rafe hadn’t really given you the opportunity to mention it. He knew your relationship with that side of the family was slightly strained—not unlike how he dealt with Ward—and nothing like that of your mom’s side. So you weren’t surprised that he didn’t ask if you wanted to visit them while you were up that way. Therefore, you never had the chance to tell him that he should keep a tight lid on it around your mother—who was the only person in your family that liked going up there.

And Rafe, the perfect boyfriend that he is, gave her the perfect opportunity to do just that when the two of you joined your parents for brunch the following morning.

“You didn’t tell me you were going to Massachusetts,” your mother accused from behind the kitchen island. You froze in the doorway, eyes shifting to where Rafe sat at the breakfast bar sipping his coffee with a small smile on his face. It quickly dropped once he saw your own expression—and your father’s from where he’d been following behind you from the garage, where he’d been asking your opinion on a Christmas gift for Rafe.

“Massachusetts?” your dad asks slowly.

“Yes, Will. Rafe says they’re going up this weekend. They’re staying only an hour from your parents,” your mom says, a glint forming in her eye.

“Oh no,” you mutter under your breath, head dropping back as you practically stalk over to take a seat beside Rafe at the counter.

“What?” he asks you, looking worried. But your mother steams ahead.

“Y/n Y/m/n, I can’t believe you didn’t tell us. You know Grandpa Ellis and Grandma DeeDee would love to see you. See all of us,” she amends, looking at your father again.

“Mom, we just planned it—like yesterday, and—”

“And I bet you weren’t even planning to see them, were you?”

“Shan, give her a break—”

You wince. “Well—”

“Nonsense. This is the perfect opportunity,” she says, cutting both you and your dad off with one word.

“Oh god, Shan,” your dad pleads.

“What?” Rafe repeats in a whisper, tugging on the bottom of your shirt like a child.

“This is perfect, Rafe can finally meet your side of the family—we can all take the jet. I’ll call Mel to see if they’ll want to fly out, too—I’m sure they will, we never make it up there anymore—god knows this is an occasion,” your mom says, already pacing around the kitchen, reaching for her cell phone. “The twins will have to come over, too. Dylan can come up from school for the weekend, can’t he?”

“Oh my god,” you groan, slipping down in your seat.

“Sit up straight, dear. The three of you can wrap up breakfast, I have phone calls to make. This will be such fun, Rafe—what a great idea!” she says, patting him on the shoulder on her way out. Rafe finds the composure to smile at that, but quickly returns to his perpetual confusion, gulping as he looks between you and your dad.

“Rafe…”

“You’ve done it now, kid,” your dad sighs, hands dug into his pocket as he stares at the same spot on the counter, his mind racing probably as fast as your own.

“I—what—I don’t… what did I do?” Rafe pleads. “Y/n/n, what?”

Your protective instinct kicks in, and you’re quickly soothing him, going on the defensive with your father.

“Dad, he didn’t know,” you say, your hand slipping to Rafe’s knee. He grabs your hand immediately, squeezing your fingers like a lifeline as he looks between the two of you, still hopelessly confused.

“I know,” your dad sighs, pouring a fresh cup of coffee. “You’re fine, Rafe. It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry—what just happened?”

“Well it looks like our trip just got hijacked, and now you get to meet Ellis and DeeDee, my dad’s parents,” you sigh, mentally preparing yourself for the weekend that now lies ahead. Your first weekend away with your boyfriend, gone in the blink of an eye—and replaced with something so unfavorable. “And probably all of the cousins, and—yeah.”

Rafe catches the awkward way your sentence cuts off but doesn’t question it in front of your father, even though you know he sees the two of you making eye contact again. You don’t know why that last part even came out of your mouth, there’s only a slim chance who you’re thinking of would actually be there anyway. But Theo wasn’t someone you’d ever be able to disassociate from your dad’s side of the family in your mind, it seems.

“I’m sorry—is that bad?” Rafe asks, still looking lost for words.

“Define bad,” your dad says.

“Dad,” you scold. “Don’t make him feel worse.”

“I am literally just so confused right now,” Rafe says. “Do we—is it… do we not like this side of the family?”

Your dad laughs at that, full and hearty. “Define like.”

You finally crack a smile despite your nerves, especially when you see how red Rafe’s cheeks are. Your dad laughs his way out of the kitchen, leaving you alone with Rafe and Wilbur, who’s been laying at your boyfriend’s feet this entire time, waiting for table scraps. “Hey, smooth guy.”

“Quick question: does your dad hate me now?” Rafe asks.

“No,” you chuckle, smiling sadly. “My dad hates his dad.”

You catch the way Rafe’s eyebrow furrows at that, wishing you could take the words back immediately—not taking a second to think it through from Rafe’s perspective. “Oh.”

“It’s not—he’s… it’s just complicated. Family, you know?” you explain, stroking his forearm where it rests on the counter. “It’s gonna be fine. It’ll be a lot, but fine.”

“I’m sorry it’s happening like this, sweetheart. But, I’d love to meet them all,” he says. “If they’re your family, it’s important to me. No matter what.”

You catch his earnest gaze, wishing you hadn’t kept this part of your past hidden for so long—because it was about to come surface whether you liked it or not.

“Well, good. Because it’s not like we have a choice now anyway,” you declare, standing up. Rafe tugs you into his personal space with his hands on the small of your back, his eyes still pleading for reassurance. You lean into him, practically eye level in this position, kissing his cheek. “They’re gonna love you. C’mon, help me clear these plates. I want to get home before Dylan calls to cuss you the fuck out in approximately twenty minutes.”

You smile as Rafe sputters again, before walking to the sink with hands full of plates and a sick feeling settling in your stomach.

—

A few nights later, you’d fallen asleep in the middle of your Y/l/n family tree crash course session with Rafe. He lets you snooze on his chest, it was late after all—but that doesn’t stop him from scrolling through the list of names he’d made on his phone, flipping between that and the picture you’d sent him from a few years back. (‘We like Aunt Mel—we love Aunt Mel. And EJ and Tiffany, her kids. We tolerate twin Uncles Charles and Zachary. They’re the ones fighting to take over for my grandpa when he passes. It was supposed to be my dad but he got out, and Aunt Mel was never given the chance. Uncle Zach is always dating someone my age—don’t call him Zach, he hates it. And Uncle Charlie’s kids from his first marriage, Michael, Dale, and Ingrid—the worst. Absolute worst, ask Dylan.) He keeps getting distracted as he zooms in and navigates around the photo, pausing every time he catches your smiling face among your family members, nestled between who he now knows are your Aunt Mel and your cousin Tiffany.

You told him that the picture is from high school—like he wouldn’t be able to recognize the girl he first fell in love with. If he stares for too long, before glancing down to where your head rests on his chest, one of his college shirts loose around your body—in the bed the two of you share, on the frame he built, wrapped up in the sheets you picked out, his head starts to spin.

The sound of your ringtone breaks Rafe’s reverie, his brow furrowing when he checks his watch to see how late it is. You stir just as he’s reaching over to answer it for you, shuffling around and accepting your phone from his hand. Your tired eyes widen and you roll over to turn on the light, holding the phone to your ear.

“Dyl? Y’okay?” you murmur into the receiver. Rafe’s hand falls to your side and you lay flat on your back again, your hand sliding over his own as an annoyed groan leaves your lips. “Seriously?”

“Everything okay?” Rafe whispers, his study session long forgotten as he watches you.

You nod at him, closing your eyes in resignation.

“Alright. Where are you?” Rafe watches you roll out of bed then, standing up and stretching your tired body. “Okay, don’t move. I can be there in fifteen—no, don’t be ungrateful. You know I hate driving on the island at night, Dylan. I’ll get there when I get there.”

You pad into the bathroom with a soft click of the door cutting off your next rebuttal (‘well, maybe you shouldn’t have gotten drunk on a Wednesday night—’) but Rafe doesn’t even wait to ask you, pulling on a hoodie and shoving a beanie over his pillow-messy hair before coming into the bathroom after you.

You’re off the phone now, your tired eyes barely open in the reflection of the mirror as you brush your teeth. Rafe’s not sure exactly why, but he knew you weren’t sleeping well these days.

“Hey, where’s he at?”

“What?” you ask, pink toothbrush hanging out of your mouth. Your eyes catch his new attire in the mirror, your shoulders sagging. “No, Rafe. You don’t have to go.”

“C’mon, go back to sleep. I’ve got him,” Rafe assures you. “Where is he?”

You turn around after spitting out your toothpaste in the sink and rinsing out your mouth, crossing your arms over your chest. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, baby. I wasn’t even sleeping yet,” he tells you, leaning in to kiss your forehead. “Want me to text him and ask?”

“No, his phone died. I’ll send you the pin he dropped for me—hopefully he doesn’t move.”

Rafe’s reassured in his choice to take over for you once he sees how far Dylan had ended up, at the strip of dive bars on the Cut that was over a fifteen-minute drive from your house—even further from your parents, where he’d have to drop Dylan off.

The boy in question is standing under a streetlight, thankfully unmoved by the time Rafe arrives, and he sees his face light up in surprise.

“Well if it isn’t the man himself,” Dylan slurs in greeting, unceremoniously throwing open the door of Rafe’s truck. “Sup, Rafester?”

“Get in the truck, bud,” Rafe says, resisting an eye roll at the nickname your brother had been calling him for over a year now. “C’mon, it’s late. Wanna get home to your sister.”

“I didn’t need to hear that.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“Shh,” Dylan shushes, thankfully getting in the car and buckling himself in immediately. “Y’know what, I’m glad she sent you. Got a bone to pick with you, my friend.”

“You picked it pretty well already. So did your dad and your sister,” Rafe sighs, sick of hearing it at this point.

“How’s Y/n/n?”

“Fine?” Rafe says immediately, before pausing to think about it. “Well…”

“Is she listening to her depression music?”

“What, Death Cab?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Rafe confirms.

“Oof,” Dylan groans. “Unsurprising.”

Rafe clenches his jaw involuntarily, trying to focus on the drive back to Figure 8. But he just can’t, and part of him wonders if your younger brother’s lessened filter (not that he ever had one to begin with) was a prime opportunity. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Why does she get like this? What’s so bad about this half of the family?”

“Wow,” Dylan breathes, sliding down into his seat. “Heavy hitter. Just—okay. You know how Y/n gets really nervous every time she has to see your dad?”

Rafe clears his throat, pointedly ignoring the way that makes him feel. “Yeah.”

“Probably shouldn’t have said that. Anyway,” Dylan continues. “That’s like my mom and my dad’s family. And my dad hates it—he got out, moved here and said ‘fuck the family business,’ yadayadayada, now Y/n and I are here, where was I going with this… oh! Yeah, man. I dunno, it’s just family bullshit. Stresses her out. Stresses us all out.”

“And that’s all it is?”

Dylan waves a hand in dismissal, and Rafe isn’t sure what to make of that, if he’s honest. “You’ll be fine, Rafe. You’re actually the first guy who’s ever even made it up there, has to mean something. Well, I guess, besides… oof.”

That pique’s Rafe’s interest. “What?”

Dylan mumbles something unintelligible, but Rafe is pretty sure he hears ‘sibling code.’

“Dude, what are you saying? You’ve got a flight in the morning—are you gonna be straight for tomorrow?”

“Bloody Mary on the PJ, baby. We’re all gonna need some alcohol to get through this weekend alive, trust me,” Dylan scoffs, throwing his phone on the floor of Rafe’s car when he realizes it’s dead. “Listen, man. Very important question for you—my sister’s honor depends on it.”

“Uh… shoot?”

“What are the odds you hang a left up here and take me to Papi’s?”

Rafe rolls his eyes again, still shifting into the turn lane anyway. “You know, you really take after your sister in all of the worst ways.”

“Uh, excuse you. I’m an athlete, I gotta eat,” Dylan huffs. “And you love my sister, so if I take after her—Rafe, bro. Do you love me?”

“Mm, an athlete who’s getting wasted in his hometown on a weeknight.”

“Fuck off, Cameron,” Dylan says, laughing gleefully. “I’m only here because of your dumbass, and the season’s over anyway.”

“Let me guess,” Rafe says, pulling into the parking lot. “Veggie nachos.”

“Yep. Should be $8.50,” Dylan prompts. Rafe would never let the kid pay for his own food anyway, but decides to mess with him just a little, giving him a blank stare. Dylan’s eyebrows furrow just like yours do, but looking the slightest bit more fierce. “Dude.”

“The worst ways,” Rafe repeats, handing over a crisp twenty. “Make sure you leave a tip.”

“Duh.”

—

Your sanity for this entire weekend hinges solely on the fact that you somehow convinced your mother to let you and Rafe keep your original flight into Boston. The two of you would leave the Outer Banks on Friday as you’d intended, and drive out to meet them at your grandparents’ house while the rest of them took the plane to a smaller, regional airport in the area on Thursday. You and Rafe would stay the night, then be on your way to your AirBnb, an entire blessed hour and fourteen minutes away, by Saturday morning.

As the weekend drew nearer, you just had to keep reminding yourself that this was supposed to be your trip with Rafe. Flying with Rafe, road tripping with Rafe; Rafe, Rafe, Rafe. Which was moot, because then you’d just start to think about Rafe meeting your snooty, old grandfather, Rafe meeting your rude uncles, Rafe meeting the Caldecotts—nonsense, you have to remind yourself.

There’s no way the one weekend you all make the trip up to Massachusetts, your grandfather would invite family friends to come by. Last you heard, Theo was living out in Boston, anyway.

Then again, you stopped keeping up with him senior year of high school, when you couldn’t bear to even come across a stray Instagram post after everything that he’d said to you.

Rafe, Rafe, Rafe. Focus on Rafe—getting him through this weekend, enjoying the rest of your trip alone with him. Rafe.

“Baby?”

“What?”

The boy in question smiles sleepily, his eyes only half-open at the early hour. He nudges your hands away from where you’d been angrily tugging on your suitcase zipper, closing it with ease. “I said, Top just left to come get us.”

“Okay, we’re gonna give him money to buy a coffee on his way home, right?”

“Yes.”

“And you packed that one white button-down, right? That looks good with your hair?”

“Yes. Although—still offended you don’t think I can dress myself for a family dinner.”

“It’s not—Rafe, my mother will literally make you change. I’m not kidding.”

“I packed it, I packed it,” he assures you. “In our garment bag so it won’t get wrinkled. Along with two other options… and your four back-up dresses.”

You don’t even register his dig, plowing ahead. “And did you—”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Rafe answers, punctuating each word with a kiss, his hands gripping your cheeks tightly. “We did everything. I love you, and you have to calm down.”

“I’m trying,” you sigh, letting your hands drop from your hips as he rubs your shoulders. “I promise.”

“Try harder for me. It’s, like, sixteen hours with your family. We survived a week in the Bahamas with mine, this is nothing,” Rafe reminds you. “Alright?”

“Alright,” you agree.

Just in time, too, because Topper’s Jeep honks loudly outside of your home at that moment. You finish watering all your plants and leave them in the sink to drain, following Rafe out of the house and into the driveway, bypassing where he’s fitting the luggage into the hatch to sit up front with Topper.

“Hey, Y/n/n,” he says as you slip in, looking a little lively for this time of the morning. Even in your school days, Topper always seemed to be one of those people that lived for mornings, annoying absolutely everyone around him in an endearing way, like an un-trained golden retriever. “You excited?”

“Top,” you groan. “What are the chances I convince you to wreck your car on the way to the ferry right now?”

“Okay, jeez,” Topper laughs. “It can’t be that bad. Wasn’t this the family that used to come down all the time?”

You bite your lip, hoping if you change the subject Topper will stop exploring the memories he has. “Yep. By the way, did you find out if Blythe—”

“Wait,” Topper says, shifting in his seat toward you. “This isn’t that family that tried to set you up with that one guy, right? God—what was that kid’s name…”

“Can you not speak loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear?” you groan, smacking his arm lightly. You glance through the car to where Rafe is still working on configuring the luggage, grateful you’d overpacked as you always do. Topper’s looking at you, waiting for an answer, and you sigh. “Yes. Theo.”

“Theo,” Topper says, nodding in recognition. “Are you gonna see him, too?”

“No,” you say. “No.”

“Wow,” he laughs. “I think I’d actually pay for a front-row seat to Rafe seeing him again for the first time. He’d probably kick his ass.”

You close your eyes, heaving a tortured sigh. “Top, I think I fucked up.”

“Huh?”

“Rafe doesn’t know.”

“Doesn’t know what?”

“Anything about that, about Theo. Honestly, I’m surprised you do—ah, Kelce?”

“Guilty,” Topper shrugs. “And what do you mean Rafe doesn’t know? You dated that guy—”

“We didn’t date.”

“Okay, whatever. But it was summer before senior year, right? Trust me—Rafe knew, moped about it all summer.”

“What?”

Topper looks caught out. “Uh… I feel like we’re talking about two different things right now.”

“I barely saw Rafe that summer,” you remind him. “I barely saw any of you—how would he… I begged Kelce not to tell him about this.”

“Okay, slow down,” Topper says. “If you asked Kelce not to, I’m sure he didn’t. I just meant Rafe knew you two were a thing—like, very much knew. But judging by the look on your face—I’m guessing he never got all of the details.”

“I dunno what Kelce told you—but, no. He doesn’t know anything, really,” you admit.

“Why not?”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” you lie through your teeth. “Like, Rafe and Chloe. It was high school, it doesn’t matter.”

Topper looks uneasy, glancing back at his friend at the trunk. “Y/n. That guy was a dick to you, and you were extremely upset, for really a long time. Isn’t that why Kelce started dragging you to Rafe’s games in the first place? I thought—I dunno. That’s when I started to think that you two would go for it.”

The look in Topper’s eyes mirrors one you can recall from that summer, when you ran into him for the first time after Theo left the Outer Banks. Topper had been grocery shopping with his mom while you were with yours, waving awkwardly to you while they dished island gossip. It clicks now that you know he knew what happened with Theo back then—at least the Kelce version.

Things were weird between you two at the time, the same way they were weird between you and most of your friends. You spent the summer essentially isolated from all of them, chasing after a guy who’d never really want a girl like you in the end. Who, at your older age, you now realize you never really wanted in the first place either—not as anything more than a distraction from another. Who broke your heart and then left town like he was always going to—like your friends saw he would from a mile away, after meeting him one time. But you didn’t listen.

“Yeah,” you clear your throat. “Well, I was 17. And I’m 22 now, and really happy with my current boyfriend, so.”

“He deserves to know, Y/n/n,” Topper says. “Especially if that kid ever pops up again.”

“He won’t,” you insist. “We hardly see this half of the family, and it’s not like he stays in my guest house anymore.”

“Y/n/n—”

“Top,” you warn.

“What are you afraid of?”

“You’re afraid of what?” Rafe says, suddenly slipping into the backseat, eyes glancing between the two of you. “Y/n/n?”

You watch Topper shake his head and start his engine, dropping the subject now that Rafe’s back.

“Missing our flight,” you fib, leaning further into the back section of the car.

Rafe smiles and rolls his eyes, leaning forward to kiss you before he puts his seatbelt on. “Stop worrying. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

—

The airport and the flight pass with little fanfare. Rafe, nonchalant as ever, nods off on your shoulder for most of the plane ride. He put up the seat rest in between the two of you so he could crowd into your space, snuffling into your shoulder while you binged shitty coffee from the beverage cart and the in-flight entertainment. You were grateful he slept through most of it, because the way you didn’t shed a tear at the John Hughes movie playing would’ve been a dead giveaway that your emotions were out of whack. You weren’t sure how long you’d be able to hide that from Rafe, but you can’t say it’ll be a while given his track record for reading you.

“Okay,” you sigh, shivering as you wait on the airport curb. “I’m gonna text my dad that they can send the car.”

“They were gonna send us a car?” Rafe says, looking impressed. You quirk an eyebrow as he takes your phone out of your hand and puts it in his pocket. “Jeez, sweetheart. Hands are freezing.”

He cups them between his own, blowing hot air on your frozen fingers.

“Uh. They are going to send us a car. If you’d let me text them.”

“Oh,” Rafe says, smiling, dropping your hands. “No, that won’t be necessary. We’re driving. I didn’t tell you?”

“What?”

Rafe looks around the exterior of the airport, pointing behind his shoulder when he spots the rental car area. “C’mon, this way.”

A million questions pop into your head but you follow him anyway, holding the garment bag in both arms, casting your boyfriend sideways glances. “We’re renting a car?”

“I already rented us a car,” he amends.

“What—why? I told you I’d handle getting us there.”

“Yeah, well. I didn’t listen to you,” Rafe shrugs, pushing both of your suitcases along with one hand, still smirking. “Keep up, Y/l/n.”

“Rafe…” you trail off, smiling despite yourself at his chipper mood.

He checks you in at the counter while you just look on at him, trying to figure out what he was playing at. Rafe didn’t know the area at all, and it’d be ten times easier to take the town car your grandpa would send for you. That’s what you usually did the few times you’d fly into this airport as a teenager or a young adult.

“What?” he asks after you’ve been staring for a while.

“What do you mean what? Why did you rent us a car?” you ask, following the agent through the garage.

“Here you are, Mr. Cameron. Should have a full tank. You can call us if you have any questions.”

“Thank you, will do,” Rafe says, accepting the keys and bidding her goodbye. You stay rooted to your spot, blinking slowly at the white Jeep you were standing in front of. “Baby?”

“It’s my Jeep,” you say, your bottom lip jutting out as you survey the car—the exact one you’d sold before you moved back to the Outer Banks. You loved that car, to the extent that you complained to Rafe about missing it every time you saw one around town.

“It’s not your Jeep. But it basically is,” he shrugs. “You like it?”

“Rafe—can I drive it?”

“You up for it?” he wonders, his grin widening. “I can drive, I know you weren’t anticipating a road trip today.”

“No,” you say, holding your hands out for the keys. “I wanna drive, there are places I wanna show you. And it’s my car. You rented my car.”

A small part of you remembers that Rafe drives way faster than you do, and your control of the vehicle will possibly help delay your arrival time even more. You’d tick down the minutes in just about any way you could at this point.

He runs a hand through your hair, letting it settle behind your neck so he can bring you in to kiss your forehead. “I knew you were stressed, just wanted to do something for you. And this way, we have about three extra hours of alone time. On what was supposed to be our weekend trip.”

“You sap,” you accuse, pushing on his chest. “I love you. And I’m really sorry about our trip.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s technically mine,” he reminds you. “So let’s make the most of it, yeah? And I love you, too.”

—

Focusing on the road is a welcome distraction for you, even though it’s a drive you know well by this point. Rafe is your eager passenger as you point things out to him, hyping you up when you’re first driving out of the city—he definitely flipped someone off for you and pretended he didn’t, laughed while he told you to ‘pay attention to the road.’

You smile and roll your eyes when Rafe tells you he needs to make a stop at a florist on the way over, picking out two bouquets for your mother and grandmother, plucking one singular peony out of one of the arrangements and presenting it to you dramatically. It sits on the dash now, the pink hue reflecting in the front windshield and making you a little giddy every time you spot it again. But it doesn’t completely calm the storm inside your head, and you go relatively quiet after the third pit stop, the scenery indicating to you that you were under an hour away.

“Are you alright?” Rafe finally asks.

“Yeah. M’just stressed, Rafe.”

“I know. But are you alright?” he repeats.

“Fine,” you tell him, turning the music up louder.

“Okay. ’Cause this is the second time we’ve looped Transatlanticism, and we’ve stopped at three different coffee shops so far.”

Your face screws up. “Well, I’m sorry you’re having such an awful time.”

“Don’t give me lip, Y/n/n,” Rafe grits out. “Come on. How can you still think I don’t have you figured out? I know something’s wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong, Rafe. Can you drop it?”

“Are you afraid they won’t like me?” Rafe wonders.

“What? No, stop. I know for a fact they’re gonna love you,” you tell him truthfully.

“Well, you said your grandpa is like my dad, so—”

“Rafe,” you chastise quietly, tearing your eyes away from the fall foliage to spare a glance over at him. “What?”

He grins sheepishly, and it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Sorry, thought my daddy issues might lighten the mood.”

“Rafe.”

“Y/n. Why are you freaking out right now?” he asks, unrelenting because he knows you’re off.

“It’s just a lot, okay? My dad gets really stressed out, and that stresses my mom out, and Dylan and I just… I don’t know. But I promise I’m excited for you to meet the cousins and everything.”

“You’re sure? ‘Cause you’re making it sound like Succession over there…” Rafe trails off, hanging his head to the side when you don’t respond. “Oh, come on.”

“No, no. you’re right—it isn’t that bad, it’ll be fine,” you tell him and yourself, blowing out a breath of air. Half an hour to go.

Your phone starts ringing, interrupting the song playing on the car’s bluetooth radio. The display reads Dylan.

“Hey, we’re half an hour away,” you say, by way of greeting.

“Yeah, have your location, Y/n/n. Rafe with you?”

“Hi,” Rafe answers.

“No, I left him in the Outer Banks,” you say, rolling your eyes even though Dylan can’t see you. “Of course he’s here.”

“You’re a brave man, Cameron.”

You grimace. “Dylan. Was there a point to this phone call, or can I hang up?”

“Alright,” he says, tone dropping. “Yeah, um… Grandpa just told me that the Caldecotts are coming to dinner tonight. Thought you’d like the heads up.”

The nagging feeling in your stomach suddenly makes sense, like you could almost sense something like this coming. You take notice of the way Rafe’s staring at the side of your face, carefully and slowly blinking in what you hope comes across as indifference. “All of them?”

“All of them,” Dylan confirms quietly.

“Alright, thanks Dyl. See you soon,” you say, ending the call before he can reply.

You wait for Rafe to ask who the Caldecotts are, but it’s quiet save for the music that continued playing when the phone call ended.

“Caldecott…” he trails off, the name on his lips hitting you like a shock to the system. “I know that name. Why do I know that name?”

You should’ve known he’d remember. You’re stuck then—between keeping up the act and finally fessing up. But you have thirty minutes alone with Rafe before you’re both swept up in the awkward dinners and the subtle digs and the fake smiles. And Top’s words had been on repeat in your head all morning: he deserves to know.

“Okay, um. Do you remember the summer before senior year?”

“Best summer ever,” Rafe says, throwing you off until you realize he thought you’d meant the summer before senior year of college. The summer you fell in love with him.

“No,” you say quietly. “Um, not—not that senior year. I mean senior year of high school.”

“Oh. Yeah,” he breathes, and you can practically see the smile slipping off of his face as all of the cheek leaves his tone. “Yeah, I do. Why?”

Now you just have to wait for him to put it together—you know he will soon enough. It’d taken Topper two seconds flat.

“Why?” he repeats when you don’t answer. “I mean… it was kind of weird, wasn’t it? You and Kelce were in that fight, and you didn’t even hang around with any of us, not Margot and Gretchen. Or Topper, or… me—um. Yeah, and you were… oh. That’s why I know that name.”

—

Summer, 5 years ago

“Y/n, you remember our son, Theodore, don’t you?”

You’d known Theodore Caldecott for probably as long as you’d known Rafe. It’s the kind of knowing that has always existed in your mind, with no memory of ever not knowing each other. Coming up as kids together, with no actual first meeting pinpointed in your history.

“Of course,” you said. “Hi, Theo. It’s nice to see you again.”

It’s been a few years since you’d seen him last, maybe when you were both around the age of twelve if your memory serves you. And he’s grown since then—towering over you now, but from your shorter height you can still make out the faintest twinkle in his eyes, the way they scan your face and then the bare skin on your shoulders.

“You too, Y/n,” he says, name falling off of his tongue with that out-of-town accent.

“Since the Caldecotts are joining us for the summer,” your mom interrupts, addressing Theo’s mother, June, “we thought it’d be a nice idea for Y/n to show him around. She can introduce him to some kids their age.”

You pretend not to notice the tone of her voice, or the way your grandmother’s eyes light up from where she’s sat at the dining table on the back patio.

“I’m sure Theodore would love that,” June says, turning to her son. “Wouldn’t you?”

“Of course,” Theo says, nodding his head. “Show me around your slice of paradise, Y/n.”

And show him, you did.

Theo and his family—you understood that to some extent they were involved in business with your grandfather, but didn’t care much of how—came down with your grandparents every once in a while over the years, and you’d seen him plenty of times on trips the other way around. So there was that sense of familiarity, but it came along with that awkward re-establishment when you both got a little older. But Theo didn’t let that last long.

You found yourselves on familiar footing—the same age, coming from similar families. Theo always came across a little aloof, maybe pretentious at times, but nothing you didn’t think you could see past once you started to notice he was kind of cute. Not very funny, but interesting enough to keep you company all summer.

He was a breath of fresh air in the humid and suffocating southern heat—he wasn’t your best friend, not even your friend. He was someone new, someone different, someone that didn’t remind you at all of Rafe Cameron.

Where Theo was brash and confident, Rafe had newly mellowed, downplaying that reputation he’d come to hold over the years, unearthing that welcoming side of him you’d always known as his best one. Where Rafe was years of history and feelings, Theo felt like a blank slate. Where Theo was loved by your parents and everyone in your family, for that matter—besides Dylan, for why you could never work out—Rafe had always been the island troublemaker to them, even if your grandfather had always admired Cameron Development from a business standpoint.

Theo liked the music you liked, even put you onto some bands that you still can’t really listen to the same way anymore, but it wasn’t the old crooners or vintage country you’d become used to listening to in a certain silver pick-up truck on occasion. He couldn’t change your tire when he ran over a nail, but he called Triple-A and made out with you in the backseat while you waited for your rescue.

Theo Caldecott played lacrosse, not water polo—and he hated golf, too. He wanted to go to school and be a lawyer, not follow footsteps into a family business. Dark curly hair and even darker brown eyes that you could see right through, not silky, light brown strands offset by baby blues that swam with all kinds of emotions you found yourself delighted to decipher.

Theo wasn’t friends with all of your friends, he hadn’t dated any of your classmates—you didn’t know anything about his friends or who he had dated, for that matter. You only knew him in this bubble the two of you had created away from both of your separate lives.

So you did the Island Club dinners with your families, you gave him the grand tour of Kildare and all it had to offer, and somewhere along the way, started sneaking into his bedroom in the guest house late at night when everyone else had gone to sleep. Theo would never climb the vined lattice to your second-story window or dare to sneak up the main staircase, not after Wilbur barked at him for the third straight time.

Behind closed doors or in secluded areas of whatever Figure 8 backyard, you reciprocated the harmless flirtations and the weighted glances; hidden in back hallways of fancy mainland restaurants, you leaned into the weighted touches. You let Theo drive your car to nowhere with his hand on your thigh, or steer your dad’s boat off the coast while you sat in his lap.

Theo held every door and pulled out every chair, but he’d drop your hand anytime a parent looked your way. The pet names reverted to your full name, he’d sit on the opposite side of the table or at least scoot his chair away when you were sat together. And Theo was a gentleman that way, you supposed—wanted to act proper in front of your dad and grandfather. And before you knew the truth, that just made you admire him more.

It made you think that this could be something—this could be someone new, someone you’d never thought of before. Someone who wasn’t Rafe.

You’d been straight up ignoring your friends for a few weeks before you decided it was time to bring Theo around to something resembling a party. You were gunning for that Midsummers escort coming a few weeks down the line and figured now was as good a time as any to bring him into the mix with your friends if they were going to meet him there. Margot and Gretchen had seen bits and pieces of you two, caught glimpses here and there from coy Snapchats. They had shrugged it off like good best friends do when you promised Theo was coming to brunch then awkwardly stumbled over an excuse when he told you he was sleeping in and you showed up by yourself.

But Rafe, Kelce, and Topper had no idea about Theo. You felt weird hiding it from Kelce, but they came as a package deal, and telling one told all.

Which you didn’t feel inclined to do.

Gretchen’s parents go out of town and it’s the perfect opportunity—Theo takes some coaxing but you get him with a pouted bottom lip. “Fine, show me what possible kind of fun you could get up to on this strip of sand.”

You’re nervous of what he’ll think of the party, of the drinks, of your friends and your life. He seems pretty disinterested by it all, bobbing his head to the music and nudging you out of the way when you ask what he wants to drink.

“As I live and breathe,” Topper says at your arrival, causing you to duck your head and cringe slightly as the two of you approach your group of friends. You wait for Theo to drop your hand and so you squeeze it tighter. And he does but it’s to throw that arm around your shoulders instead, bringing you closer to him while he sips his drink, looking around the house in appraisal. “Look who finally decided to show up.”

“Ha, ha,” you say sarcastically, but Topper’s words sting a little when they’re combined with Margot and Gretchen’s uneasy smiles, not to mention the blank stares from Rafe and Kelce. “Guys, um. This is Theo. He’s the one staying in my guest house this summer.”

Theo unwinds from around you but only to go down the line and shake hands as you rattle off everyone’s names for him. “That’s Gretchen and Margot, and this is Topper, Kelce, and Rafe.”

Theo unexpectedly chuckles before settling back into your side, throwing the rest of his drink back. “Those are definitely… names.”

“What was that?” Kelce says immediately, eyebrows furrowed.

Theo raises his hands in surrender before looking down at you. “Nothing. Gonna go get another drink, d’you need one, love?”

“Um, yeah,” you agree, accepting the kiss dropped to your cheek before you send him off, almost wishing you could follow him.

“Some guy you got there, Y/n/n,” Kelce says bitterly, barely waiting for Theo to be out of earshot.

The timid smile that was already a struggle to maintain completely slips off of your face. “What do you mean?”

Kelce scoffs. “He’s a total douche—”

“Cut it out, Kelce,” Margot says. “He’s really cute, Y/n/n.”

“Oh, well, thank god for that.” Kelce says, looking at you significantly. Kelce can read you better than anyone, and you feel transparent under his gaze. And the way you’ve avoided addressing Rafe at all besides when introducing him to Theo is a dead giveaway to your best friend. “You’ve been ghosting us all summer for that dude? Fuckin’ Young Republicans club president? Nice one.”

“Hey. Back off of her, man,” Rafe says sternly, speaking for the first time. You finally look at him then, realizing this might be the first time you’ve properly seen him in a month now. He hadn’t changed a bit, and you still yearned to understand what he meant with those eyes.

“Whatever,” Kelce says.

“You know what, Kelce? Fuck you,” you say, as surprised by it as your entire friend group is. Your anger is misdirected, and probably confusing to everyone else, but you know Kelce is on your wavelength. “I’m sorry that you both just went through breakups and suddenly remember I exist, but—”

“Oh, bullshit, Y/n/n,” Kelce says. “We’ve been inviting you to hang out for weeks now. Radio silence.”

“Yeah,” you agree, not backing down. “After months of ‘sorry, it’s a couples thing’ or whatever—which is fine, I don’t care. But that’s how it works when you date people—”

“Don’t tell me you’re dating that dickhead,” Kelce spits.

“Kelce,” Gretchen warns.

“I think this was a mistake,” you decide, biting your lip and nodding your head as you make yourself believe it. “We’re gonna head home. Gretch, thanks for the invite.”

“Y/n/n, wait,” you hear Rafe say as you turn your back on him. He must turn back to your friends because you can just make out his hurt confession: “I was literally just sitting here doing nothing.”

“That’s all you ever fucking do, Rafe. Nothing.” Margot’s words are the last you hear of that interaction before you spot Theo in the kitchen, pouring a drink way heavier than you’d normally make for yourself.

A suggestion to head home leaves your lips and Theo practically lights up, kisses you in response, goading you to chug your drink before the two of you exit this ‘lame-ass party.’ You make eye contact with Rafe across the living room one more time as Theo tugs you outside with a hand in yours, and you ignore his text asking if you were alright later that night.

The summer passed in much the same way, shirking the texts from your friends while you focused on all things Theo. You got the Midsummers date you wanted, even though he didn’t want to match his pocket square to your dress when you offered to help him pick one out on the mainland, and even though he spent the entire night whispering snide comments into your ear about the decorations and the drinks and the people you’d known all your life. You ignored the curious looks cast toward you from your friends when Theo twirled you around the dance floor for exactly one song he deemed worthy, especially the disapproving one from Kelce.

And then August comes and Theo’s leaving with the heat of the summer. You sit on his guest bed and twirl a strand of hair as he packs his things, wondering why the pit in your stomach is heavier than you’d thought it'd be as you watch him squeeze the rest of his clothing into his suitcase. He hadn’t let you keep the Cape Cod sweatshirt you’d stolen for most of the summer.

You’re smarter now, but at the time you thought you loved him, or at least could love him one day. What wasn’t to love? He ticked every box you’d ever had.

“M’gonna miss you, y’know?” you tell him, kicking his shin softly.

Theo hums noncommittally, turning his back to rifle through the drawer in the bedside table. “Yeah, we had a fun run this summer, didn’t we?”

Your heart sank immediately, your mouth drying before you cleared your throat. “I was thinking, like… I go up to see my grandparents enough. And you could always come down here for a weekend or something. And then if we end up at school together next year, y’know… wouldn’t that be cool?”

“Oh,” Theo starts, standing up straight. He smiles sadly, an air of condescension permeating his tone as he stalks toward you, a hand falling under your chin. “Y/n, you know that we’re not… I live in Massachusetts. You live here.”

“I know, Theo. But like I just said—”

“I heard you,” he interrupts. “But, love. We’re not really… this wasn’t anything serious for us, right? At least not for me.”

You think back to all the times he distanced himself from you the second you were in front of his parents, everything clicking in your mind. But you were young and naive, and you’d never been able to wear your heart anywhere but on your sleeve—the initial reason you’d ran from your friend and into the arms of this guy who was about to break your heart, a guy who never should’ve had it in the first place. “But, Theo…”

“I really thought we were on the same page about this, Y/n,” he starts. “We don’t… we’re not meant to be together-together, you know?”

“Why not?”

“Because, I’m gonna be at university next year,” he says. “You maybe are, too. But, it’s different y’know? You’re gonna be president of some SEC sorority, some running back is gonna ring you by spring. And then you’ll be back here, raising a ton of kids and going to those country club meetings with your mom. But I need—I’ll be with someone more my pace, you know?”

You feel dizzy with every comment he’s just thrown at you, your cheeks burning like you’d been slapped. “Y-your pace?”

“Someone serious,” he clarifies, his hand still cupping your chin. You realize then that you’ve started crying, because his calloused thumb swipes along your cheek. You shove his touch away. “I really am sorry, love. Thought that was obvious.”

“Then why did you… why did we—” you cut yourself off. “This whole summer Theo, I thought—”

“What, that we’d make it out of here?” he says, eyes glimmering slightly as he shakes his head. “Y/n, come on. You’re sweet as hell, but you’re not dumb.”

“I feel like it right now,” you announce standing up. “I feel like an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot.”

“Are you sure? Because I think that’s what you basically just said,” you accuse.

“I should’ve known you’d be like this,” he admits. “It’s those eyes, Y/n. You couldn’t hide anything with those, love.”

“Don’t call me that,” you cry, letting him pull you into his arms in a moment of weakness. He kisses your forehead and it feels wrong and you feel worse.

“You can text me whenever you’re in Massachusetts, alright? I loved this summer thing we had going, but… time to get back to real life.”

He sends you on your way and you hide in your room as the Caldecotts and your grandparents make their grand exit, begging your little brother to cover for you. Dylan does, looking not the least bit surprised at your red-rimmed eyes after he watched you head out to the guest house that evening. Your hands shake as you delete Theo’s number immediately, scrolling to another one that you hadn’t called in a while on pure instinct. It only rings twice.

Kelce’s tone is slightly hesitant, like he knows you’re calling for a reason and it’s not a good one. “Y/n? Are you okay?”

“C-Can I come over?”

—

Rafe’s thoughts are going a mile a minute at the sound of a name he hadn’t heard in years. One that meant virtually nothing to him now, but for one summer was literally all he could wonder about. About the guy that had pulled you away from all of them and from him, who drove a wedge between you and Kelce like he’d never seen before and never thought he would, the two of you thick as thieves for as long as Rafe could remember. Who seemed like your perfect match in every possible way, who Rafe couldn’t help but compare himself to even though he told himself he shouldn’t care.

Rafe looks over when you speak again, turning the music down so he can hear you properly.

“How much do you remember from that summer?”

—

Fall, 5 years ago

Rafe formally met Theo when you brought him along to Gretchen’s party. But that wasn’t the first time he’d seen the two of you together.

He’d tuned out any murmurs about some guy you were hanging around with about as soon as they started, like there was some part of his brain that he just decided to shut down. He was fresh off of a break-up with Chloe, and he didn’t realize why it wasn’t getting to him like he thought it might. Rafe suddenly had way more time to hang out with his friends that he didn’t before, he didn’t have to wonder about if he was a bad boyfriend or if he was more into it than she was or if he wasn’t doing anything right or if it was supposed to feel like that—he felt like he could breathe again for a second, that first time he saw you at the Island Club after the break-up. And then things went to shit with Kelce and Sidney, and then suddenly… you weren’t around anymore. Ever.

He worried about you enough to drive by your house exactly twice, never stopping to knock on your door like he planned. Rafe never fully worked himself up to it, would always convince himself he was just overreacting. It wasn’t like you were dead. You just hadn’t answered his last few texts, or Kelce’s. It was strange, and then it all made sense when he heard about the touron from New England that was staying in the guest house. You’d told him about Theo the day he arrived—of course that’s what it was, how could he forget so easily?

But everything really made sense the time he saw you at the Kildare co-op, alone at first. His feet were already in a path toward where you stood checking every container of strawberries for freshness as he contemplated how much longer your hair had grown in the last month—and you weren’t alone. A guy Rafe had never seen before was appearing at your side with a jar of Nutella. You smiled up at him when you saw it in his hands, finally settling on the container of strawberries you were holding.

Rafe left the grocery store before he could see the guy kiss you, peeling out of the parking lot after leaving every item he was holding on a random shelf.

Of course you’re ignoring Rafe—all of them—but him especially. Hadn’t that been what he’d done for the last six months, while he was taken? Hadn’t the realization that Rafe had missed you, really missed you all those months practically smacked him across the face the first time he saw you after his break-up?

Rafe doesn’t ask anyone what they know—he doesn’t want to know. He cares, but he doesn’t want to know if Theo almost kissing you by the strawberries means he’s your boyfriend when just last week he contemplated inviting you to a round of golf for over an hour before finally doing it, only for you to read it three hours later and never respond.

Rafe spends the summer working part-time for his dad, fucking around at SAT prep with Kelce and Topper, and conveniently exiting any conversation that devolved to you as the main subject. He keeps his head down, works on his golf game, takes the long way around Figure 8 so he doesn’t have to drive by your house anymore. He goes to twice as many water polo summer workouts as he’d originally planned to when school let out, leaves Midsummers early after a record low, forty-five-minute stint at the Island Club that involved seeing you and what’s-his-face and your family and his family all smiling and laughing.

He plans to get wasted at the Boneyard every weekend but his heart is just never fully in it; Rafe gets super invested in some baking show with Wheez one day when we just can’t push his own thoughts away while he’s alone in his room. He scolds Sarah the first time she almost gets herself caught drunkenly stumbling into the house in the middle of the night, then feels bad when he almost makes her cry. And Rafe thinks about what you would’ve done in that situation, what you would’ve told him to do, and fixes it immediately and makes sure Sarah knows she should always call him, always.

He narrows down his list of colleges while wondering where you’ll end up; he starts drafting his application essays but he can’t not hear what you’d be telling him to take out or re-work and then that’s no longer a viable distraction, either.

And he decidedly does not give himself time to think about what any of that means.

If Top and Kelce notice they don’t say anything—Kelce too preoccupied with his own residual heartbreak and some weird tiff he has with you for ignoring all of them, and Top probably because he’s Top.

So the summer you asked Rafe about—that passed by in a blur for him. What Rafe does remember, when he formed some of the core memories of his adolescence, what to this day can be brought back to him in an instant the first time he sees a leaf turn orange or feels that long-awaited autumn chill on the first real cloudy day that isn’t just a summer day in disguise hidden under a storm—is that fall.

Summer was slipping away but Rafe didn’t find himself caring as much this particular August. He was ready to get back into his routine, get his senior season started, not have any time to work for his dad. And he knew for sure he’d finally be seeing more of you.

But he threw his end-of-the-summer party like he had been doing for the last few years anyway, making the trip out to the liquor store on the Cut that didn’t card with Topper and Kelce on the day of.

While they’re picking up, Rafe briefly wonders how much alcohol he should consume in order to forget that you had viewed the invite and never responded. He doesn’t know why it surprises him anymore or why it can still bring him down but at this point it just does.

“Do you think Y/n/n is coming?” he finally asks Kelce, about three drinks deep and beginning to grow annoyed by the number of people in his house.

“Fucking doubt it,” Kelce deadpans, a water bottle crinkling in his hand. “I haven’t heard from her in weeks.”

“Me either,” Rafe agrees. He knows you’re closer to Kelce than you are to him, and it gives him the smallest sense of solace that it’s all of them you’re giving the cold shoulder. “Should we be worried?”

“You aren’t?”

Rafe sips more of his beer, contemplating admitting that. “I mean, yeah. A little. Just figured she needed space or something after Gretchen’s party.”

“Space,” Kelce laughs. “Yeah. Okay.”

“You’re kinda harsh on her, man,” Rafe says instinctively, leaping to your defense when you’ve ignored him for an entire summer for some Ivy League shoo-in staying in your guest house. When Kelce is absolutely the last guy he’d ever need to protect you from.

His friend must agree, leveling him with a look before rolling his eyes. “I just hate it when my friends are being idiots.”

“Don’t fucking call her that, Kelce—”

“Oh, I didn’t mean just her.”

“What does that mean?”

Kelce opens his mouth to speak again but his phone starts ringing, drawing his attention to the screen. “Look at that. It’s Y/n/n.”

Rafe swallows down a desperate ‘answer it’ because of course Kelce already is; Rafe sensed the worry in his tone when he saw it was you finally calling after all this time. His face fully transforms from confusion to concern, and he’s slipping off of the counter in Rafe’s kitchen. “I’m at Tanneyhill, do you wanna come here?”

Rafe perks up immediately, looking around and wondering how quickly he could clear out a very intoxicated, large portion of Kildare Academy’s incoming senior class currently occupying his downstairs.

“Yeah, no. Yeah—you’re probably not good to drive. I can be there in five.”

Rafe follows Kelce to his front door, begging with his eyes for any hints as to what’s going on—if you’re hurt or if anything happened or if he can help. But Kelce is on a mission, and Rafe can merely listen in on the rest of Kelce’s half of the conversation. “What do you have to be sorry for?” Kelce asks.

And then before he shuts the front door to Tanneyhill for good, car keys in hand, Rafe hears the kicker. “I’ll kill him.”

And that was that on Theo. Rafe never heard about him again, nobody ever brought him up or asked what happened, and you never offered anything. Rafe wondered for a while but he’d never go seeking information from you, and eventually, it was in the past.

School started then, and you were back but for a while, you weren’t you. Rafe had to nudge you every time you fell asleep in AP Calc before your teacher saw, sending you pictures of his notes or homework whenever you needed. You seemed off in every way and you seemed tired all the time. You spoke softer than you already did and hardly at all unless spoken to. But you started coming to Rafe’s games—started coming to his games in his shirt.

He pressed Kelce, who said you were just stressed and drowning in your college applications, still unsure of where you even wanted to go.

Rafe didn’t get that part, he knew you’d literally end up wherever you could dream of.

One November day, as soon as Rafe sees you crossing the Island Club parking lot, he thanks the past version of himself profusely for deciding to shower at the gym instead of waiting until he got home. He doesn’t know when he became so conscious of how he appeared when you were around, but he can’t help but check his hair in his car window before he calls out to you.

“Y/n? What’s up?” he says, smiling and waving when you actually see him. But even when you wave and start making your way toward him, your features don’t indicate at all that you’re happy to see him.

“Hey, Rafe. Kelce is inside, right?” you ask, pointing back to the club.

“Oh, shit, Y/n/n. He just left, something with his mom,” Rafe tells you.

“Oh,” you say, wrapping your arms around your midsection and exhaling a shaky breath. “Okay. Uh, thanks. I should—”

“Y/n/n,” he begins nervously, taking in your wrinkled sweatshirt and messy hair. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No, I’m not,” you breathe, shaking your head. “Can I—sorry, I’m gonna go.”

“No, hey, hey, hey,” Rafe says, bending at the knees slightly so he can look directly in your eyes, his stomach twisting when he can see they’re completely bloodshot and punctuated by the bags beneath them—covered in a light sheen of tears that look like they’re ready to fall at any second. “Talk to me, Y/l/n.”

“Rafe, no,” you sigh, blinking rapidly with your head tipped up at the sky. “It’s so stupid.”

“I’m sure it’s not,” he says, stepping forward hesitantly, retracting his hand when it reaches out of its own accord. “Do you—uh. Do you need a hug?”

You look a little taken aback at first, and Rafe almost regrets whatever stupid instinct in his body compelled him to say something like that—what he’d say to Wheezie or Sarah, but you? Why the fuck would he—but a second later you’re stepping forward, right into his arms that circle around you on autopilot.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure you’ll work it out,” he says quietly, his hand rubbing between your shoulder blades. He’s worried to all hell about you like he has been since June, but for the life of him, he can’t stop thinking about how your head fits right in his chest, tucked under his chin. Feels his cheeks flush red when you squeeze him around his waist.

“These college apps are just ruining my life, Rafe,” you say, finally pulling back, hand wiping under your eyes furiously. “I’m so ready for them to be over.”

“That’s what you’re crying about?” Rafe asks incredulously.

You rear back slightly. “Um… yeah?”

“Y/n—you know you’re gonna get into whatever school you want, don’t you? You’re the smartest person I know,” he says, feeling his cheeks heat up as soon as the words leave his mouth. “Um, I mean—no. Yeah. You’re gonna be fine, seriously.”

“Rafe,” you sigh. “Stop.”

“I’m serious!” he laughs. “And you’re also the only reason any of the rest of us are going to get into any good schools.”

Your lips quirk up a little at that. “Rafe, your personal statement was amazing. I read it like five times before I even took out a pen.”

“Yeah?” Rafe says, voice pitched high, blush coming roaring back. “I didn’t think it was anything special. And you marked it up enough.”

“No, don’t. It was great,” you say, smiling softly before he recognizes that familiar glint in your eye. “You’re just bad at sentence structure. If you tell Kelce or Top this I’ll deny it, but it was the best one I’ve read.”

“Oh, I’m telling them,” Rafe scoffs. He goes to pull out his phone, trying to downplay the butterflies he feels at your praise. “Actually, let me text them right now—”

“God, never mind,” you groan. “It was awful. Worst thing I’ve read. And you still owe me a coffee for that one, Cameron.”

Rafe nudges your shoulder with his knuckles. “I told you I’d bring it to school, any day you asked.”

“Tomorrow, please. I’m gonna need it,” you sigh, leaning up against his truck, finally looking relaxed. “These deadlines are kicking my ass.”

“Where are you applying to that’s taking applications so early?” he wonders.

“My top choices are all out west,” you say. “I think I give myself the best chance if I apply early action.”

Rafe furrows his eyebrows. “Out west? Like…”

“California, mostly,” you say quietly. “A few in Washington, too. One in Oregon.”

“Oh.” That’s far. Very far, Rafe realizes. Far from home, far from wherever he’ll end up. Far from him.

“Yeah.”

“I thought… you don’t wanna apply anywhere closer? Or what about your dad’s alma mater—what was it?”

Your features downturn immediately, and you shake your head definitively. “No. Doesn’t really seem like my scene anymore.”

“I’m sure your parents loved that one,” Rafe jokes off-handedly, mind racing thinking about just how many times a year he’ll even be able to see you anymore when you’re that far away.

“Thought we were creating a safe space here, Cameron,” you tell him, smiling where you’re leaned up against his truck. The sun had just started setting behind you, and Rafe would call this moment his safe space.

—

Rafe fumbles momentarily as he gets caught up in the past, clearing his throat before speaking again. “Um… well you dated him, didn’t you?”

“I wouldn’t call it that,” you mumble. “I know he wouldn’t.”

“Okay,” Rafe says, nodding his head. “Okay. But, I mean. Y/n/n, I saw you guys—you definitely had a thing.”

“Yeah, Rafe. A thing. Like, a stupid summer fling over five years ago,” you say. “I’ve seen him maybe three times since then.”

“Babe, I wasn’t—”

“I know, fuck, I’m sorry.”

The harsh exhale puts Rafe on high alert, and he’s searching for that pulse. “Don’t be sorry, sweetheart. I’m just—I wanna figure out why you’re…”

Your eyebrows pinch together. “Why I’m what?”

Rafe clucks his tongue, suddenly sitting up and surveying the area. “Nothing. Hey, do you think there’s another coffee shop we can stop at before we get there?”

“Yeah,” you nod, looking confused. “There’s one in town right before we go up the hill. Why?”

“Really gotta use the restroom,” Rafe lies, and you nod silently, not putting up a fight.

The drive is quiet from then on, and Rafe focuses on what he’s going to say next. But you’re nervous and he’s nervous but more than that he’s worried about you, and he can’t stop thinking about what you said to him last week. About there being boys before, boys who he knew hurt you and made you doubt your worth but not how or to what extent or even when—and you pull into a parking spot in the very back of some tiny, little parking lot in front of an unassuming coffee shop and Rafe makes no move to go inside. He waits for you to kill the engine and then gently takes the keys out of the ignition, dropping them in his lap.

“Rafe, what are you—”

“Theo was one of them, wasn’t he?”

I’ll kill him. That’s what Kelce had said that night.

“One of—what do you mean?” But you’re shrinking into your seat, angling your body away from Rafe’s accusation.

“When you said you’d dated those kinds of guys.”

The words hang awkwardly in the air between you. It was a topic neither of you had approached since the fight, Rafe waiting for you to bring it up of your own volition and you never doing so. He was always hesitant to push you on anything that made you this upset, but a lot of things were clicking like they hadn’t been before and now he just really needed to know.

“Am I wrong? You were talking about this guy we’re about to see at dinner tonight, weren’t you?”

One of your nails picks at the seem of the steering wheel, your hand shaking slightly. “Rafe, I really didn’t think he’d be here.”

“That’s not—I’m not upset about that, sweetheart. I’m not—I’m worried. About you,” he says, his voice falling into a hush. He licks his lips, gathering his thoughts while things start to slide into place for him. Theo was like a missing puzzle piece that had been right in front of him all along. Rafe had been there. “I’ve been trying to figure out all week why you’ve been so upset about this trip. And I thought it was me, but then you said it was all about your family, but you still… this was actually why though, wasn’t it?”

You suck your teeth at that, your head turning away slightly. “Okay. Maybe I thought there was a slight possibility we’d have to see him.”

Rafe nods, his ears ringing. You’ve been in shambles for an entire week because of an ex-boyfriend. “Okay. And… what?”

“What?”

Rafe tries not to let his frustration seep through, because he’s confident in himself and he’s confident in you, but as much as he knows this is putting your deepest insecurities out into the open, it’s putting a megawatt spotlight on his, the fact that he was hours away from meeting an ex-boyfriend that was apparently still well-enough into the fold to be invited to family dinners—by family Rafe had never even met—and Rafe knew literally nothing about him.

And on top of that, Theo had hurt you, and Rafe was there when it was happening, and not only was he too stupid at that age to tell you how he was feeling but you were hardly even friends at the time—Rafe couldn’t have protected you from it if he wanted to, because he had no idea what was even going on. And he still doesn’t. Because you never told him. “You didn’t tell me about him, because…”

“Because it’s so stupid, Rafe. It was so long ago and it shouldn’t even matter anymore,” you say, finally casting a sideways glance at him.

“But it does matter, clearly,” he urges, his hand reaching over to grip your elbow lightly. “And if it matters to you, then it matters to me.”

“Rafe… I really don’t wanna—”

“You gotta let me in, Y/n/n. I’m right here,” he says, the backs of his fingers dragging over your upper arm, a chunk of your knit sweater caught between his two middle finger knuckles. “I’m right here, baby.”

Your arm shies away from his touch and Rafe drops his hand, falling back into his seat in dejection while he listens. “We were kids. I liked him, and he liked me but not in the same way and we weren’t on the same page. And he went back to Massachusetts at the end of the summer and that was it. End of story.”

Rafe fingers the rental car keys where they sit in his lap, reminding you that he has the power to leave. “I could’ve deduced that version on my own, Y/n/n.”

“Okay, well, fucking deduce it then, Rafe,” you snap. “I don’t care.”

“I care.”

“Why? It was five years ago!” you say, holding your hands out for the keys.

He holds strong. “Then just tell me about him.”

Your hand falls back into your lap and you let out a frustrated groan. “Y’know what? Fine. I spent the entire summer following him around like a puppy and then he broke up with me—but according to him we weren’t ever really dating. And we never would be, because he needed someone serious who wasn’t destined to be some dumb southern belle housewife like me.”

“Y/n/n—what?”

“It was stupid, I thought we might’ve… I dunno. But he just didn’t see it like that at all and I don’t know why I even—that doesn’t matter. I should’ve seen it coming, it’s the same shit just coming from different people my entire life. The guys I dated before you were all the same, they had the same assumptions about me. The only difference was Theo didn’t want that version of me. It wasn’t good enough for him.”

Rafe feels like his brain just exploded—all of his nerves are on fire and his hands are clammy but on top of everything he’s just angry. He’s confused and he’s worried and he’s upset with himself for pushing you because your hands are shaking and the last half of your spiel was interspersed with stray tears, but above all else, he’s just fucking mad.

You let out a watery laugh and shake your head at his silence. “Not what you wanted to hear?”

You throw open the car door and slam it just as forcefully, and Rafe’s body follows yours before his mind can even tell it too. He grabs his jacket out of the backseat on his way because he saw you forget yours, and wraps it around your shoulders as they tremor.

There’s nobody around and even if there was he knows he wouldn’t care about how crazy the two of you must look, his arms locked around you and pressing you back against the car while you shake like a leaf against him, your hands grasping at his t-shirt.

“So, I guess that’s why Kelce wanted to kill this kid.”

He gets you to laugh a little, the feeling of the vibration against his chest warming him down to his toes even as he wears a t-shirt in the December chill. “M’honestly surprised he never told you any of this. I told him not to, but he knows everything.”

“I think Kelce is a better friend than either of us ever give him credit for,” Rafe admits. “I mean, I knew something went down with the two of you. But what a fucking tool.”

“Rafe.”

“No, I gotta get it out now. I probably can’t beat him up in front of your grandfather, can I?” Rafe sighs.

“Uh, absolutely not.”

“Okay,” he nods. “Piece of shit, numbskull fucking douchebag—”

“Rafe,” you warn again, laughing this time.

“Alright, alright. More coming later. I’ll think about them during dinner.”

“Y’know, Top said you’d wanna fight him.”

Rafe clears his throat, looking down at you, ignoring the goosebumps raised on his arms where they encase your shoulders. “Topper knew?”

“Might wanna rethink that comment about Kelce. I think we give him the exact amount of credit he deserves,” you say. Your elbows dig into his stomach as you wipe under your eyes, seeming to have cried yourself out for now.

Rafe would probably keep his comment about Kelce on the record. There are treasure troves of information his friend kept from you over the years. Shit that would embarrass Rafe to his once sixteen-year-old core.

“Is that why…” Rafe trails off, feeling his jaw clench. “Is Theo why you were having a rough time senior year?”

“Ugh,” you groan, your head falling into his chest. “This is so embarrassing. I knew you’d remember what a mess I was then.”

“Y/n/n.”

“Kind of,” you admit. “I don’t think it was him—just what he said. I was already unsure about what I wanted to do and the fact that he had my life planned out in his head just really threw me for a loop.”

“Do I even want to know the verbatim?”

“No,” you sigh. “Maybe once he’s no longer within hand-throwing distance.”

“Alright,” Rafe concedes.

“This is pathetic,” you murmur. “S’why I didn’t wanna tell you.”

“Hey,” he warns. “Who are you talking about? Him?”

“No. Me,” you correct. “I let it affect me so much, through some really big decisions, and he… Theo probably doesn’t even remember it the same way. I’m pretty sure he’s engaged.”

“You’re not pathetic,” Rafe says. He holds steady even when you roll your eyes at him. “I’m serious. If this guy was a dick to you, you’re allowed to be upset about it. Doesn’t matter when it happened or what you did after.”

“Yeah, but—”

“No, Y/n/n. No,” he says. “It doesn’t matter how you got there—you ended up exactly where you were supposed to anyway.”

With me. You ended up with me, he thinks.

“I did?”

“Of course. And you’re killing it, baby,” he says.

Your bottom lip pouts slightly, and Rafe has to lean down and kiss it. “I am?”

“You are.”

“Okay,” you nod, still not looking like you fully agree.

“Hey. Look at me for a second, and then we have to get back in the car before we freeze to death,” he says, holding your chin in between his thumb and forefinger. Your still slightly teary eyes blink up at him, and he can’t believe he has to sit through an entire dinner with the guy who did this to you without strangling him. “I know I don’t need to tell you that he was wrong. Because I know it, and you know it. That guy will know it one day, too. But you’re my best friend, you’re still the smartest person I know, and I don’t think I could do half the things I’m able to do without you. I’m never gonna stop protecting you, but when I can’t, I need to know that you know all of those things. And that I love you, and that you’re one thousand percent way too good for me. Too good for any of the fucking idiots that had you before me—but I’m not letting you go.”

Your eyes are wide, and you nod slowly. “I know.”

“I love you,” he repeats, pressing his lips into your hairline. “And I know it took a lot to tell me this, so thank you.”

“Y-you’re welcome?” you wonder, eyebrows furrowed. “Rafe I-I, I feel so bad. I should’ve told you earlier…”

Rafe shrugs, his shoulders twitching into a shiver. “You told me now. It’s alright.”

“You’re too good for me,” you counter, turning Rafe’s words on him.

“None of that,” he decides. “Now get back in the car. You look cute in my jacket, but I am not built for this weather.”

—

After an odyssey of coffees and tears and confessions and Death Cab for Cutie albums, you and Rafe finally pull into your grandparents’ driveway, the crunch of the gravel under your tires a familiar and almost foreboding sound.

“I didn’t know he was coming,” Rafe says. You can practically hear the smile in your boyfriend’s voice and it eases a little tension out of your body, and you’re able to give him a matching grin as you shrug.

“Might’ve slipped my mind to tell you,” you say coyly, pulling the car to a stop.

Dylan stands on the sprawling porch with Wilbur at his side, waving you over when the two of you get out of the car. “Ah, there’s the love birds. Finally.”

“Wilbur!” your boyfriend calls, kneeling when your dog trots up to him. You roll your eyes fondly at the display, turning back to the prying eyes of your little brother.

“How’d it go?”

You tilt your head in confusion, joining him on the porch, surveying the property. It’d been a while, but everything about your grandparents’ front yard looked exactly the same. “How’d what go?”

“Uh, the Theo bomb,” he says. You hit him in his stomach.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you? You called to tell me when you knew Rafe would ask about it,” you accuse.

“Of course I did,” he shrugs, rubbing at his stomach and wincing. “What? You weren’t gonna tell him. And Rafe’s my guy.”

“Oh, is he?” you laugh.

“He loves me. Ask him.”

“Well, thanks for the nudge, I guess,” you say, bumping your shoulder into his.

“How’d it go?” he asks, sipping out of his tumbler and looking at you over the rim, sunglasses pushed down his nose. You loved when he pretended he didn’t care about you.

“As expected,” you say, willingly skipping over your roadside breakdown in Rafe’s arms. “I’m not convinced he’ll keep his promise to not throw punches in the dining room.”

“I’ll hold him down,” Dylan says.

“Rafe?”

“No, Theo.”

“Dyl,” you scold, pushing his arm. “Stay out of trouble this weekend, will you?”

“I will be on my absolute worst behavior,” he says. “You know this. You’ve always known this.”

“Please, I’m already gonna be wrangling Rafe—”

“Okay, mom, chill the fuck out, will you?” he sighs. “Dad’s already at defcon one.”

“Oh no, really?”

“Really. But hey,” his voice drops in volume. “Theo’s engagement? Toast. I guess he didn’t get into law school and then he got a DUI or something, too. She called it off. I was told to tell you that we’re not supposed to bring it up in front of him or June and Jerry. But, I want you to know I’m absolutely going to. At least twice. I think three is overdoing it, no?”

You almost feel indifferent to Theo’s life update, you realize, looking at where Rafe is still playing with your dog by the car, the trunk now open but still not unloaded. You didn’t tell Rafe he was coming as a little surprise because you figured he’d be nervous to meet your family—you should’ve known he’d be calm and collected when you needed to lean on him. You’d be stupid to care about any past fling’s love life when this is what you have in your present. “Dylan, seriously. Reel it in for everyone’s sake tonight.”

“No promises.”

“Should we go inside?” Rafe says, out of breath and holding all of your luggage, your golden retriever circling him in excitement.

“You think you’re ready for that, Cameron?” Dylan teases. Rafe shoves the garment bag into his chest forcefully, causing him to scowl before leading the two of you inside. “Alright, you asked for it.”

“Is everyone else already here?” you inquire.

“Yeah, dinner’s in two hours,” he reminds you. “Greenhouse, don’t forget.”

You just laugh lightly and roll your eyes, which causes Rafe to look at you in confusion, his fingers encircling your wrist. “What happens at the greenhouse?”

Dylan laughs too, pushing the front door open. “You have so much to learn, my friend.”

“Dylan, leave him alone.”

—

Rafe is absolutely, positively shitting it.

One second, the two of you are upstairs freshening up for dinner together. The next, you’re nowhere in sight—although, it’s a big house and there’s probably at least ten more rooms he could’ve checked. And then he’s intercepted by your dad who has a look in his eye that Rafe has never seen (not even the first time he saw him after the break-up), who’s introducing him to your cousin EJ (who you like) and your uncles Zach and Charles (who you… don’t, Rafe thinks) and he maybe feels a little weird that he already knows all of their names, and knows that the baby strapped to EJ’s chest is called Kendra but everyone calls her Kenny and she has recently picked up a strawberry allergy.

“My daughter is in the kitchen with the rest of the ladies,” your dad says, catching Rafe looking around. “Come sit with us.”

“Oh, I should—”

“Wasn’t asking, son,” your dad whispers. “My father wants to talk to you.”

“Oh, cool,” Rafe says. “Cool.”

“You’re fine, kid.”

“Rafe,” Ellis says, looking at him appraisingly from across the table in his study. Rafe takes a seat immediately. “Is that short for something?”

“Uh, no, sir,” Rafe says. “It’s just Rafe.”

“And what did you say your last name was?”

“Cameron.”

“Ah, Cameron,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “Yes. That’s right, I remember your father from years and years ago. Ward? Good man.”

“Uh… yeah,” Rafe says, nodding slowly. That was definitely a new one. “Yeah, uh, thank you. That’s my dad.”

“Development, right? Is that good money?” Ellis asks. Dylan laughs into his whiskey glass, your cousin EJ just shakes his head, reaching down and giving Kenny a finger to grab onto. Rafe looks to your dad for help, who just stares straight ahead at his own glass, circling the rim with a pointer finger.

“We do fine,” Rafe finally says, hoping that will suffice. Ellis looks at him in determination.

“Now, don’t be modest, Rafe,” he demands. “It’s just a question. Simple, but important.”

“Alright, grandpa. Give it a rest,” EJ says, eyes cutting over to Rafe. Rafe nods in his general direction, not taking his eyes off of Ellis, who doesn’t seem to be done.

“If you intend to marry my granddaughter—”

“Dad.”

“It’s a serious question, William. I’m sure you haven’t even bothered to ask this of him yet—when they’ve been running around together for what, two years now?”

“Uh, well—year and a half,” Rafe mutters. “But, Y/n—she’s. We’ve talked about this and everything, but she’s doing great all on her own, with the foundation and—she doesn’t need—”

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything,” a voice says from the entry to your grandfather’s study, Rafe’s words dying on his lips as he turns to see who it belongs to.

“Oh, thank god. This was starting to bore me,” Dylan murmurs, tossing the rest of his glass back. He leans over into Rafe’s side. “Money’s on you, dude.”

“Theodore, my boy,” Ellis says. The hair on the back of Rafe’s neck stands up as he watches Theodore Caldecott swagger into the sitting room, bypassing everyone to exchange greetings with Ellis first. My boy. “So nice to have you out here again.”

“Not every day the whole family is back in town anymore, is it?” Theo says brushing his hands down the front of his sweater vest. “My mother insisted I come up from the city when she heard.”

Rafe’s jaw clenches as Dylan snorts, the sound catching your grandfather’s attention. “You remember my grandson Dylan, don’t you?”

“Of course, it’s nice to see you, buddy,” Theo says, leaning over the table to shake his hand. Dylan rejects him with a fist bump.

“‘Sup. Sorry about the engagement.”

“Mr. Y/l/n,” Theo continues to your father, undeterred. His eyes flicker to Rafe briefly, but he doesn’t say anything and neither does Rafe. “It’s nice to see you again as well. I was actually wondering if your daughter was around? I heard she’d be here today, but I have yet to run into her.”

Rafe sits up straighter in his seat, now demanding Theo’s attention at the mere mention of you. “She’s off with her cousins.”

Theo looks slightly taken aback at being addressed by him, his hands slipping into the pockets of his khakis as he leans back on the heels of his gaudy loafers. “I see. And you are…?”

Rafe stands to shake his hand also, holding back a smile when he realizes he still has a few inches—at least three—on this guy. He remembered that much from the first time they met in Kildare, clocking the guy's height when he wasn’t inspecting every part where the two of you were touching or worrying about how much you’d had to drink.

“Nice to meet you man,” he lies. “I’m Rafe. Y/n’s boyfriend.”

Rafe can see the moment his statement throws the other boy completely off guard. He gives him a tight-lipped smile and a firm handshake, noticing Theo’s grip is limp in his hand. “Oh, I didn’t know Y/n had a boyfriend.”

“You know it’s funny, Rafe,” Ellis speaks from the head of the table again. “For a while there, we thought Theo and Y/n might make a go of it.”

They did. Or she did. And he broke her heart over it, Rafe wants to say.

“Really?” he muses, raising his eyebrows. “Well. Sorry, man.”

Rafe isn’t sorry, not at all. He knows that, and he knows Theo knows that from the way that he said it, but the kid just smiles with a glint in his eye that Rafe decides he despises.

“No apologies are in order,” Theo says, laughing haughtily. “Ancient history, Y/n and I are. But hey—better keep an eye on her.”

If Rafe was sixteen years old again and not currently in front of half of your family, including a baby, he might’ve lunged over the table and laid Theo out right then and there. He knows he could—one sweep of Theo’s physique tells him that it’d be no problem for him, not then and not now. But instead, he sits back down and sips on a little more of his whiskey, hardening his stare at the other guy. “I always do.”

Your uncles continue bickering with your dad over the business after that, Dylan’s messing around on his phone, and EJ’s preoccupied with his baby, leaving Rafe to do nothing but stare across the table at how Ellis and Theo are getting along. Rafe knows you don’t hold your father’s side of the family very high in your head but it bothers him on a physical level, the way that Theo is laughing along with whatever your grandfather is saying, getting shoulder pats when all Rafe got was a firm handshake and a gruff ‘pleased to meet you’ before his questioning started.

“Hey.” EJ’s looking at Rafe from beside him, tilting his head toward the door. “Wanna help me feed Kendra?”

Babies terrify Rafe but he thinks he probably would’ve taken an offer from a grizzly bear if it meant escaping these four walls and his own thoughts, so he nods and follows behind EJ without a second thought. He might’ve thought it through just a millisecond longer, he realizes, once your cousin unclips the baby from the wrap on his chest and makes to hand her over to Rafe.

“Wait—I, I don’t think I’ve ever held an actual baby before,” Rafe admits. The closest was Beckham, who was four by the time Rafe first met him. “Y/n and I had strawberries for breakfast and we washed our hands a billion times—I just don’t wanna hurt her.”

“You won’t hurt her, and I’ll be right here to kick your ass if you do,” EJ says. “Just support her head. She’s not very fussy right now, you’ll be fine.”

“U—uh, yeah. Okay,” Rafe nods, accepting Kenny willingly when she’s carefully laid into his arms. She wriggles slightly, making Rafe panic for a second, before she settles into his arms and promptly falls back asleep. Rafe stares at her for a second, her chubby cheeks and her long lashes. “She’s… she’s so cute.”

“Isn’t she?” EJ says proudly, reaching over and adjusting the cap on her head. “You’re a natural, Rafe. She’s snoozin’, probably won’t wake up for an hour if you sit still.”

Rafe looks at the small bundle of warmth in his arms, notices the way she lets out a small coo and wriggles again, and thinks he could probably do that if asked. “Don’t we have to wake her up, though? Y’know, so she can eat?”

“Oh, she’s not hungry,” EJ says. “She won’t need to eat again for another two hours.”

Rafe looks up at him in confusion, his grip tightening on Kendra when he’s not looking at her, just in case. “But you said…”

“I lied. Welcome to the family,” your cousin laughs, sinking back into the couch. The fire crackles in front of them in the sitting room EJ had chosen. “Figured you could use an out.”

Rafe clears his throat and looks back down at Kendra, remembering how you said EJ was your favorite cousin. “That obvious, huh?”

“Nah, you’re fine,” EJ says. “I just know how my grandfather can be. And I’m biased, but I think my baby makes way better company.”

“I’d have to agree,” Rafe says softly, still looking at her, completely transfixed by this point.

There’s a soft patter of feet in the distance coming from the direction of the kitchen, followed by quick footsteps and a flash of hair the same color as EJ’s. “Daddy!”

“Oof,” EJ suddenly grunts, pulling the little boy that had just mowed into his shins into his lap. “Noah, can you say ‘hi’ to your Uncle Rafe?”

“Hi, Uncle Rafe,” Noah says. “I’m Noah.”

“Uncle?” you murmur quietly, coming and settling into Rafe’s side on the couch. From where you followed Noah into the room behind them, you must not have seen Rafe’s precious cargo, because you gasp quietly when you do see Kendra in his lap, your hand falling to a light touch on her head. “Well, hi there, Kenny.”

Rafe readjusts his hold on the baby again before tearing his eyes away from her to look at you, his cheeks going hot as he watches you coo quietly, your arms pressed together as you lean over him. “Hey, sweetheart.”

“Hey,” you say softly, pressing your lips into his for only a moment, the two of you very aware that your cousin and nephew are only a foot away. Your eyes flicker down Rafe’s entire body, the way he’s sitting completely still, hunched over Kendra with steady arms encircling her. “Look at you.”

“Look at me.”

“Ellis Jr., I can’t believe you got him to hold her,” you marvel, looking at your cousin.

“Didn’t give him much of a choice, but he’s doing fine, right?” EJ says, smiling at the trio. “You guys look great.”

You duck your head into Rafe’s neck at the insinuation, and Rafe’s right there with you with a fluttery feeling in his stomach. He presses a kiss into your hair. “I can’t see us, but I know we do, too.”

“Don’t give me any ideas, I swear, Cameron,” you murmur.

“Rafe did great in there,” EJ says, nodding back to your grandfather’s study. “Should’ve seen him.”

“I’m sure he did,” you say quietly, still leaned into Rafe’s space as you fawn over the baby in his lap. Rafe would bottle this feeling if he could.

“Caldecott kid was looking for you,” EJ mentions off-handedly, straightening out Noah’s shirt collar.

Rafe feels your body lock up where you’re still pressed into him. “Me? Wait, is he here already?”

“He’s here,” Rafe mentions quietly, the bottle-worthy feeling now a memory.

—

You and Rafe trail the rest of your older cousins in the tall grass as you all make your way out to the greenhouse, a pre-family dinner tradition for every cousin ever since they hit the age you’d deemed worthy to be included, seventeen. Rafe still doesn’t understand why you’re all out here but you keep your lips sealed on the subject, far too preoccupied with the fact that he saw Theo than anything else.

“Proud of you,” you joke, your fingers roaming over all of his knuckles as if to look for evidence.

“Very funny,” Rafe muses, tucking you under his arm. “You make me sound like an attack dog.”

“No,” you say. “I’m just kidding, Rafe.”

“It bothers me that he was looking for you,” Rafe admits. You pull him to a stop and he sighs, one hand digging into his pockets and the other scratching the back of his neck. “It bothers me a lot. I thought you guys weren’t on good terms.”

“We’re not,” you say. “We’re not on any terms, Rafe. I haven’t spoken to Theo in years.”

“I know that. But I don’t think he does, Y/n/n, he was—”

“Rafe.”

“I just need to know what you want from me here, Y/n,” Rafe says in a rush. “You know I wouldn’t even let him come near you if that’s what you wanted. And that’s what I want, but…”

Your lips quirk up a little bit. “You’re not jealous, Rafe Cameron. Are you?”

He doesn’t rise to the bait, and your heart sinks as he sighs in frustration, stepping closer to him and tugging on his hand. “I’m not jealous. I just hate that guy and I’m really worried about you, but I’m always gonna follow your lead.”

“You didn’t have any reason to hate him before a few hours ago.”

Rafe furrows his eyebrows. “I did, actually. But I just hate him more now.”

You nod in realization that all those years ago, even though you didn’t feel like Rafe was in your life, he was right there on the periphery. And he’d had that same protective streak ever since you’d known him; your heart could hardly handle the way he worried about his sisters, or any of your friends, let alone when you were the focus of that trait of his. But this weekend was bigger than the two of you and your three-month-long fling with Theodore Caldecott. “Rafe.”

“What?”

“My parents are already stressed, I know Dylan’s gonna be on one, and I just don’t think it’d help if you—”

“Got it,” Rafe sighs. “Best behavior.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” he promises. “I solemnly swear I will not kick Sweater Vest’s ass in front of your Grandma DeeDee tonight.”

You giggle, leaning up to lock your arms around his shoulders and kiss him. “My hero.”

“Cut that out.”

“You were quite the topic in the kitchen, you know. Grandma and Aunt Mel said you were very handsome, and EJ’s wife said they didn’t make them like you when she was my age.”

“Please don’t tell EJ that. I like him. And his baby,” Rafe admits. “Can we finally find out what this greenhouse is about?”

Rafe goes to open the door but you stop him with a hand to his chest. “There’s a way to do this.”

You ignore his quirked eyebrow to knock on the door in the correct pattern. The door immediately cracks open and Dylan’s head pops out. “Password?”

“Dylan, come on.”

“Password,” he insists. “We’re keeping shit tight this year, Dale already tried to sneak in.”

You roll your eyes. “Grapefruit.”

“You may enter,” Dylan decides, opening the door wide enough for the two of you to step through.

Grandma DeeDee’s greenhouse was by far your favorite place on the entire property, ever since you were a child. You, EJ, and his sister Tiffany used to follow behind her like lost puppies, helping her tend to all of her plants. EJ eventually got pulled out of the rotation, your grandfather telling him it was time he started shadowing him instead, or playing a sport, or just something that wasn’t so… feminine. So it was just you, Tiffany, and your grandmother after that, and it was where your love for taking care of plants even came from in the first place. It was the one thing you missed the most about coming up here.

But part of why you missed it—you had to admit—was the pre-dinner tradition started by EJ and Tiffany, the two eldest cousins, years and years ago. It was the only place they could think of to sneak booze at family gatherings before being of age, slowly folding in the younger cousins as they grew up.

As of now, it was you Rafe, EJ, Tiffany, who brought her girlfriend, Penny, this time around, Dylan, and your Uncle Zach’s son, Michael. Dale and Ingrid were still too young.

You’d been slightly worried Theo might wander his way out here, like he had a few times before. You distinctly remember the year you were so excited to finally go to the greenhouse. Theo joined the festivities before Thanksgiving dinner your senior year of high school and he brought his new girlfriend. You took three shots in a row.

EJ took one look at you and told Tiffany to help you get upstairs undetected, not wanting to send you to dinner like that. He told everyone you weren’t feeling well before coming upstairs to find Tiffany holding you in her arms while you cried.

“Rafe, give me a boost,” you direct, shaking the memory from your head. “I think there should be something stowed at the back of the top shelf.”

“Uh, yeah,” Rafe says, hurrying to bend at the knee, hands outstretched for you. “What exactly are you looking for?”

“Get up, kid,” EJ laughs. “I figured it was time we upgraded from the bottle of gold-flecked vodka we’ve been sipping off of for years.”

He brandishes a new bottle of 1942 from under his coat, Dylan whooping and Tiffany humming in approval.

“Blegh,” Michael says.

“Shut up, Mike,” Dylan says. “You turned seventeen last week, you honestly shouldn’t even be—”

“And we have reason to celebrate tonight,” EJ continues, ignoring both of them. “Because Y/n and Dylan finally made it back and we have two new souls brave enough to face Grandpa Ellis and all of his charms. Rafe and Penny, good fucking luck.”

You and Tiffany both boo EJ for scaring your respective partners (even though he, as the sole married cousin, has the most expertise) but Rafe and Penny just take it all in stride, looping their arms before taking their tequila shots. You stand beside Tiffany, sharing in a feeling of fondness as you watch the two of them settle into the hectic dynamic. A full round is poured and passed around; Rafe cackles at your face as you down your shot, but he has your water bottle ready for you to get the taste out of your mouth as it pinches in disgust.

“Fuckin’ hate tequila,” you whine.

“I know, baby,” Rafe laughs.

“Grow up,” Dylan jeers, already pouring a second round.

Rafe cut himself off after his inaugural shot, but you take one more and are feeling a little buzz as you show him around the greenhouse, pointing at your favorite plants. Rafe nods along eagerly the entire time, a hand on your waist to steady you on the slippery floors. “It’s so humid at home, we should really look into getting some ferns or something.”

“Mm,” Rafe hums, fingers trailing over the plant in question, his touch gentle. “Don’t you think we have enough plants?”

“Absolutely no such thing, RC,” you say.

“Okay, you are cut off at dinner tonight,” Rafe laughs, yanking you right into his chest. “Haven’t even sat down to eat and you’re already calling me RC.”

“Boring,” you tease, struggling in his grip. His fingers dig into your waist, and you remain rooted to your spot. “If you’re gonna make me sober up, I have to tell you something before I lose my confidence.”

“Jesus Christ, what are we, sixteen? You had two shots,” Rafe teases, arms locked around your waist. “Out with it, lightweight. Are you gonna confess your undying love?”

“Haven’t I done that already?”

“Still like hearing it,” he shrugs.

“Alright. I’m in love with you,” you say, watching Rafe’s eyes glaze over in that way that they tend to do sometimes, when you can tell he’s all loved-up. It’s easy for you to tell because you’re usually right there with him. “You’re incredibly easy.”

“Only for you.”

“I really liked seeing you with Kendra,” you blurt. Rafe’s huge grin falls slightly, settling into something softer—a little embarrassed, the tips of his ears turning red and matching the blush blooming on his cheeks. “That’s all.”

“I liked—I liked being with you, and Kendra. A baby,” he admits softly. “So…”

“So.”

“Good. Same page,” Rafe nods. “C’mere. Let me mack on you before I have to sit at a table with your entire family like we didn’t just talk about babies.”

—

Rafe knew the bubble had to burst eventually—knew as much as he wanted to that the two of you couldn’t stay out in the greenhouse forever, soaking up the company of the family you did like. Knew that the two of you had to face the music eventually, knew that he couldn’t just wrap you up in his arms and take you upstairs and listen to more stories about your childhood spent here or tell you how many kids he wanted while he pets your hair and kisses your face and protects you from everything he possibly can.

And he knew Theodore Caldecott was the worst of the worst because anybody who can hurt you like he did has to be. But the absolute gall he possessed had come as a bit of a shock.

“Y/n, it’s wonderful to see you again,” Theo says. Rafe watches his eyes inspect your entire body like he isn’t standing right next to you, clutching your hand—like this isn’t a family affair. “You look… wow. It’s been a while.”

“It has,” you agree quickly. “You’ve met my boyfriend, Rafe, haven’t you?”

Rafe gives him a nod and Theo doesn’t return it, barely taking his eyes off of you for a second. “I have. Been looking all over for you tonight—I’m just dying to catch up.”

“Oh,” you say, your hand twitching in Rafe’s grasp. “Um…”

“We can all catch up at dinner,” Rafe says. His hand slips to the small of your back, nudging you toward the dining room and out of Theo’s line of sight.

But as fate would have it, Rafe takes the seat beside you just as Theo practically slithers into the one across from the two of you. Rafe sees to it that the end of the table with all of the real adults is fully occupied in whatever chatter before his hand grips the bottom of your chair, tugging you as close as possible before his lips drop to your ear. “We agree that the sweater vest is horrible, right?”

“Rafe, stop,” you admonish, still giggling despite yourself while pushing him away by his chest.

“What was that?” Theo asks, leaning over the table.

“Nothing,” Rafe says, scooting your chair a respectable distance away again, keeping his hand locked firmly on your knee, fingers nudged under the napkin covering your lap.

“Y/n,” the woman seated beside Theo says. Her eyes sweep to Rafe, the look in her eyes reminding Rafe a little too much of one he’d get from his father. “Who's this you have with you?”

Your fork clatters to your plate, your free hand slipping to Rafe’s shoulder. “Oh, June. I’m so sorry, this is—”

“That’s her friend, Rafe, mom,” Theo interrupts.

“Boyfriend,” Rafe corrects, narrowing his eyes slightly. Your hand tenses on his shoulder and he clears his throat. “It’s nice to meet you.”

June’s eyebrows raise, her confused stare matching the man’s next to her, who Rafe deduces must be Theo’s father. “Boyfriend? Y/n, your grandfather never mentioned that you were seeing someone.”

“Yes, um,” you start. “We’ve been together for a while now.”

“Hm. How did you two meet? Surely your mother set the two of you up,” she laughs lightly. Rafe looks down at you, his eyes searching.

“D’you wanna tell it?”

You nod, smiling small, just for him. “Yeah. So, we—”

“Must’ve met at school, right?” Theo asks. If he interrupts you one more time, Rafe might not be able to control any kicks under the table.

“No,” you continue, looking back to Rafe. “It’s funny, actually. We’ve been friends since we were kids, but we didn’t actually get together until last summer.”

“You’re from the Outer Banks?” June accuses.

“Uh, yes, ma’am,” Rafe answers. “Born and raised, just like Y/n/n.”

“Huh,” she nods. “Interesting. And what exactly is it that you do?”

Rafe covers a scoff with a sip of wine, looking to you for guidance. Theo and his mother continue to watch the pair of you like hawks, and you just shrug, as if to tell him go ahead. “My father has a real estate development company. I’m helping run finances.”

“Oh. Money guy,” June says, waving a perfectly manicured hand around, looking at you now. “Now I get it.”

“I’m sorry?” Rafe says in confusion. You don’t meet June’s gaze, staring at the table cloth instead. Your hand slips from Rafe’s shoulder and he watches you fiddle with your flatware set, half of your food uneaten.

“Well, it’s just—you know. Last I heard, Y/n was still babysitting for a living,” she chuckles, gesturing toward Rafe again. “So, I mean. Development, finance, it’s lucrative. That makes sense to me, for someone of her caliber.”

Rafe pauses mid-chew, nearly dropping his fork to his plate loud enough to interrupt the entire room. You’ve gone completely quiet beside him, the only point of contact he has with you his touch on your knee where it shakes under the table. Rafe looks to see if anyone around him heard how this woman, this woman he doesn’t even know, just spoke to you—to see if anyone will come to your defense. Everyone seems to be preoccupied but the two of you and the Caldecotts. “I—I don’t know what you mean…”

“What a charming southern gentleman you are, Rafe,” the woman smiles, her tone dripping in condescension. “It’s alright, I’m sure it’s nothing Y/n hasn’t heard before. We can dare to be realistic here.”

It’s not, Rafe thinks. It’s not alright and it’s not nothing you haven’t heard before. It’s something you’ve heard from everyone around you, for nearly your entire life. It’s the same sentiment planted in your head by your parents when you were a girl, tended to over time by guys like Theo and your other ex, Frederick, and apparently their horrible parents, too.

A soft nudge to his shin from under the table interrupts that line of thought, however, Dylan glaring at Rafe from across the table. He raises his eyebrows in expectation.

“Actually,” Rafe says a little loudly, his fork falling from his hand. He’s like a rope about to snap and he figures Dylan’s permission is all he needs at this moment. He drapes an arm over the back of your chair and you look at him in panic, shaking your head. Rafe will apologize to you later if he has to, but he can’t sit here and mind his Ps and Qs anymore. “Y/n’s kicking ass right now. She’s working in publishing and editorial, so she could go wherever she wants from here. Her boss said an acquisition editor at her publishing house is actually retiring soon, and the spot is practically Y/n’s as soon as she wants it.”

Rafe had been looking at you the entire time he was speaking, but he turns to look at Theo and his mother momentarily, feeling a small sense of satisfaction—alright, maybe not that small—at the dumbstruck look on both of their faces.

“Y/n works extremely hard. She’d be fine on her own, completely fine,” Rafe emphasizes, looking back down at you. He wants you to hear these words just as much as he wants them to, probably more. “But somehow, I got lucky enough to convince her I’m worth the time of day.”

Theo and his mother are silent after that but Rafe hardly cares, isn’t paying attention to anyone but you. The way your mouth gapes as you gaze up at him.

“Publishing?” Theo finally says. “That’s great, Y/n. You never… you never told me anything about that.”

“Very promising,” June agrees, visibly sizing you up with a gleam in her eye. “Congratulations.”

“Yeah,” you shrug. “I like it a lot, so.”

“Y/n/n,” EJ interrupts from the other end of the table, wiping Rafe’s encouragement for you to stop being so humble right off of his lips. He’d tell you later; he’ll never grow tired of praising you alone or in front of an audience. “You’re up. It’s your turn to go get more wine.”

“I can go,” Rafe immediately offers, but your cousin shuts him down.

“Rafe’s a guest. Y/n, go,” he says.

You sigh but nod, standing from the table. You start to make your way out of the room but stop mid-step, leaning over the back of Rafe’s chair, your hands on his shoulders and your lips pressed to his cheek in a quick peck. Your lips move to his ear and Rafe feels goosebumps bloom all the way down his arms, his shirt collar suddenly feeling unbearably tight. “My hero.”

Rafe’s sure nobody could hear it besides him but Dylan still gags at the display, and Rafe catches a Theo eye roll before craning his neck to watch you leave the room with a smile, shaking his head and hiding a grin as his chin tucks to his chest. The victorious feeling quickly leaves his body as June continues watching him curiously.

“Theodore,” she speaks, a smile spreading on her face. “We’re hardly guests here. Why don’t you go see if Y/n needs help in the wine cellar?”

—

Normally, you hate the walk down to the wine cellar in your grandparents’ house. The corridors are long, it’s usually pretty chilly down there—more often than not you forced Dylan to go in your place. He never brought back the right wine and it usually caused a headache but you didn’t mind, as long as you didn’t have to go yourself.

This time, however, you don’t particularly mind the trip. That dining room was beginning to suffocate you, and you might’ve jumped Rafe’s bones if you were in his vicinity any longer after that display. Thinking back to Rafe defending you to June brings an embarrassing heat to your cheeks, your hand covering your smile even though nobody is around to tease you for it. If you could tear your eyes away from your lover for even a second, you would’ve killed to see the look on Theo’s mom’s face.

Footsteps echo in the doorway of the cobblestone cellar, and your smile grows as you realize Rafe had followed you down.

“Was wondering if you’d find a way to sneak down here anyway,” you say, not turning around as you continue to survey your grandfather’s extensive collection.

“Not sure what the little boyfriend would think of that insinuation, Y/n.”

You turn around so fast you nearly make your neck ache, your eyes landing on Theo, not your boyfriend.

It’s strange—the few times you’d seen Theo since that summer had at their worst brought you to tears and at their best still stirred up a deep-rooted anxiety. But this time you felt next to nothing but a little annoyance. Theo was being Theo, but you weren’t bothered by it because your boyfriend was slotting in perfectly with your cousins, he was holding your niece with hands more careful than you’d ever seen, he was roughhousing with your brother and kneeling in the gravel to play with your dog. Rafe stood tall against the Caldecotts’ jabs toward him and even taller against the ones toward you.

A summer fling that broke your seventeen-year-old heart was nothing more than a slight irritation—a mosquito buzzing around you, Rafe readily batting it away.

“Theo, I’m sorry. Thought you were Rafe for a second. My mistake,” you apologize.

“Figured,” Theo smiles, that big toothy grin. “Could you use some help?”

“It’s just a bottle. I’m fine,” you tell him, returning to the rows of wine.

“Ah, come on, Y/n/n.” You flinch at the nickname only your loved ones call you—it feels wrong falling off of his lips. “You know this crew could put a vineyard out of business.”

“You’re free to grab one, too,” you compromise. “I’m gonna grab a white if you wanna pick out a red.”

“You were crazy for chardonnay back in the day, weren’t you?” Theo asks, sidling up to you. He’s a little close for comfort and you lean out of his space, pretending to look at a different row of wines.

“Chard’s too dry. S’fine, but not my favorite,” you conclude. “More into rieslings, always have been.”

“Ah, of course. A sweet wine for a sweet girl,” Theo says fondly. You remain silent at his compliment but that only emboldens him. “You know, I dropped everything in the city and drove right over when I heard you were coming up this weekend.”

Your hand falters where it was feeling over a label, and you turn to look at him slowly. He’s leaned up against a pillar with his arms crossed over his chest, and you realize he’s blocking your path to the doorway. “Why would you do that?”

“Don’t seem so surprised,” he laughs. "You don’t think I came all the way out here just to see Grandpa Ellis, did you?”

“No, it’s just… well. We haven’t spoken in, god—two, three years?” your mind races, trying to remember. Trying to piece together what your ex-boyfriend-who-never-called-himself-your-boyfriend is even getting at.

“Has it been that long?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed. He shakes his head after a second. “Well, nevertheless. I dunno, guess I missed you.”

“Well—hey, um. I heard about your engagement, Theo,” you say, going for a subject change and blurting the first thing that came to mind. He recoils visibly, gnawing on his bottom lip and raising his eyebrows at a spot on the floor. “I really am sorry. I’m sure that can’t be easy.”

“Thank you for saying that,” Theo says, his stare heavy when he returns his gaze to you. You almost feel bad for him; a part of you might always care for the boy you used to be friends with before he turned into the teenager that broke your heart and the man he is now. “Was for the best in the end, I think.”

You don’t like the way Theo’s looking at you, or the way his tone echos how he used to speak to you once so you turn back to the task at hand, settling on a random bottle. “I think this one’s fine. If you wanna pick a bottle we can head back up to dinner.”

“They won’t miss us,” Theo says, pushing off the pillar and walking to the side of the cellar lined with pinot noirs and cabernets. “So, didn’t think nouveau-riche was really your type, Y/n.”

“What?” you ask, your mouth going dry.

“Development, seriously? He’s practically blue-collar,” Theo muses, chuckling to himself even though nothing he just said was funny.

“Are you—do you mean Rafe?”

“Yes, I mean Rafe,” he parrots, saying his name like it tastes like acid in his mouth. “Sure your parents love this little rebellion streak you’ve got going. When do you think you’ll settle down with someone serious?”

“Respectfully, Theo, don’t talk about my boyfriend like that,” you bite out, gripping your selected bottle tightly and making a break for the door. “I’ll see you back up there.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he rushes, blocking your path again. “I didn’t—fuck, Y/n. I’ve never known how to talk when it comes to you.”

“What exactly is there to talk about?”

Theo lets out a laugh, hands shoved into his pockets. “After all this time, you still make me nervous.”

“Theo,” you speak slowly, confusion settling in for good. “What are you—”

“You know, I hated the way we left things all of those years ago,” Theo admits, stealing the air from your lungs as he actually goes there. Not once since that summer had he even acknowledged that the two of you were anything romantic, not in front of anyone else and not when you were alone. And here he was, five years and a failed engagement later. “I was a stupid kid, Y/n.”

You wince in realization. “You’re not serious, Theo… you mean when we—”

“When we were in love,” Theo interrupts, stepping slightly closer. “God. Saying it like it’s past tense makes it seem so sad, doesn’t it?”

“Theo, that’s… still past tense for me. I haven’t even—we were kids, like you just said,” you say.

“But I never apologized to you for that, Y/n,” he speaks softly. “You know, I can still picture that day I left the Outer Banks. You were wearing that pink sweater.”

You weren’t wearing a pink sweater. You weren’t wearing a sweater at all—it was summer in North Carolina, your daily uniform was a sundress or cut-off shorts. The dress you wore that night wasn’t pink either. It was white. You spent thirty minutes picking out what you thought would be the dress you wore when Theo asked you to make it official.

“Ancient history, Theo,” you say, voice wavering slightly against your will with the weight of the recalled memory.

“Is it, though? Don’t tell me that you’ve never thought about trying things again, now that we’re older,” Theo probes.

You nearly gawk at him, wondering if he hit his head on the way down the stairs. “No, considering my boyfriend is literally sitting down the hall right now. And we’re only here because we were taking a weekend trip together. From which, we’ll go home to our house, that we live in together.”

Theo laughs again, but it’s not friendly. He’s laughing at you. Five-year-old memories slowly unearth themselves in your mind, the way he’s talking down to you feeling uncomfortably familiar. Except for this time, he’s telling you the complete opposite of what he did then. And it’s still not what you want to hear. “You know you’re only wasting your time playing house with a guy like that. Now that I think about it, I remember seeing that kid around, always hanging with those two other idiots. God, what even were their names—”

“Those idiots are my friends,” you warn.

Theo raises his hands in surrender, still smiling fondly like he knows a secret you don’t.

“You’ve changed a lot since we were kids, Y/n,” he says.

“And you’re still an asshole,” you spit. “Who do you think you are, Theo? You walked out on us, not me.”

“I was a stupid kid, Y/n. Please,” he rolls his eyes.

“I was a kid, too, Theo. And you still ripped my heart out because you thought I wasn’t… good enough for you? You had this whole picture of me—”

“Was I wrong?” he gestures wildly. “Aren’t you right back in your hometown, with that arm candy you have sitting out there? Surprised he hasn’t tried to knock you up yet, and I don’t see a ring on that finger.”

“Stop fucking interrupting me. And stop talking about Rafe,” you warn, the hand not holding the wine bottle now poking a finger into his chest. He tries to grab your hand and you yank it away.

“You know you don’t have to settle for that guy, Y/n,” Theo says, almost sounding like he’s begging at this point. “We, on the other hand, would be great together.”

“This isn’t happening,” you say, hand clutching your forehead like you have to be crazy. “You’re not actually saying this to me right now.”

“You can’t honestly believe that your little high school sweetheart can give you everything you expect,” Theo says in exasperation. “This should be easy Y/n, I mean. He’s got you trapped in that podunk lagoon—where are the opportunities for you? I have so many connections I could—”

Everything slowly starts to slide into place and the end of his sentence tapers off in your ears. “Is that—so that’s what this is? I went and made something of myself, and after all this time I’m finally worthy of you? Literally fuck you, Theo.”

“You wound me, love,” Theo says. His cocky smile slips into one that’s a bit softer, but you can still see right through his brown eyes, even after all of these years. “You’re feistier now, what happened to my sweet girl?”

“You broke my heart,” you whisper. “You broke my heart, and then I grew up.”

“Y/n, don’t you see?” he whispers back, stepping closer to you. His hand reaches toward your face and you take a huge step back, your back bumping into the cold wall of the back of the wine cellar, holding the bottle in between the two of you like a barrier. “It’s always been you, love.”

“This is all I wanted to hear from you five years ago in that guest house, you know that?” you whisper, searching his face for any sign of sincerity. He could fool you back then but he can’t fool you now. You let Rafe into your heart a summer ago and you’d only known true love since then. It was deeper and it was more real than anything you ever thought Theo had made you feel. “But I’m glad I didn’t. Because giving you a chance would’ve been the worst mistake of my life. I’d be miserable, for one. And I wouldn’t have Rafe.”

“Dammit, Y/n,” he swears. “Your grandfather loves me, Y/n. He’d love us together.”

Theo’s not smart enough to get into law school but he shouldn’t be stupid enough to think your grandfather would love anything about you being a career woman any more than your mother would—some status symbol Theo and his family seemed to desperately cling too. Some mold that he and June thought you could finally fit into, seeing something in you tonight that they hadn’t before. Your dad had passed on the family business and Grandpa Ellis skipped right over Aunt Mel, letting Uncle Zach and Charles duke it out.

“Theo, I loved us together. Five years ago, and then you—you know what, I don’t have to explain myself to you. Get out of my way.”

You push Theo out of your way and he stumbles backward immediately, clearing your path to the doorway and causing you to sigh in relief. You’re almost home free but something inside you causes you to turn around, for that teenage girl inside you that would’ve died to hear these words years ago—who didn’t realize she had everything she could’ve wanted right in front of her already and was throwing her heart around to anything that would catch it so she didn’t have to face the truth. “And for the record, I’m not settling for Rafe. Rafe has always been it for me, Theo.”

“Don’t be dumb, Y/n—”

“Thought I wasn’t dumb. Remember?” you say coldly, throwing his words back at him. But of course nothing you say even registers; you were nothing but a blip on his radar and he was once a villain in your life story.

“What are you even talking about, Y/n?”

“I tried to play this nicely with you, I really did,” you say shakily, feeling the anger turning into hot tears behind your eyes because how dare he. How dare he act like he’s been harboring this grand love from you when he had a girlfriend three months after he let you go, while you spent months crying on Kelce and Margot and trying to work through what he put you through. When he was off getting engaged while you were fighting with Rafe because of feelings Theo was the first one to ever make you feel. When he was standing here lying to your face about how much you meant to him, that desperate to cling to something that would make him look good because he couldn’t do that for himself. “But you’re fucking pathetic. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

You turn to leave again but not even a second later an iron grip encircles your wrist and you’re pulled harshly back into the room. “Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you, Y/n. I just wanna—”

The tears break your waterline at the feeling, and they blur your vision where you look up at him, not recognizing the boy before you at all anymore as your arm struggles against his grip. He’s desperate, grasping at this past relationship that never really existed in the same way in his mind. But he knows how it existed in yours, and his life didn’t turn out how he thought it would and now he’s taking advantage of your heart then and trying to take advantage of your heart now. “Theo, get off, y-you’re hurting me.”

You think you begin to see some semblance of remorse flicker in his eyes, his grip loosening slightly, but it’s all a blur because another body is ripping his touch from your completely, a tall figure pushing Theo back and away from you until he’s not even breathing the same air, his back pressed into the wall like yours had been only minutes ago.

“I swear to god, I ever see you put your fucking hands on her again—”

“Oh, you’ll what, tough guy?”

Rafe practically growls, the arm he has shoved across Theo’s collarbones pressing in harder. “I will kick your ass back to the fucking city.”

“Aw, not in front of dear Grandma DeeDee, Rafe,” Theo taunts, right back to his usual snide self.

“I don’t care who’s around, you prick,” your boyfriend mutters. “You don’t. Fucking. Touch her.”

You realize then you need to spring into action before this escalates any further, testosterone absolutely raging in this room. Your feet move you forward and you grab onto Rafe’s shirt sleeve, tugging on his free hand. “Rafe, don’t—”

Theo shifts his focus back to you, smirking again, that lost and vulnerable boy completely gone. “Let the men talk, sweet—”

“No. You don’t talk to her like that, you don’t talk to her ever,” Rafe protests, leaving no room for disagreement with the way he has Theo pinned. “Don’t call her anything. Don’t even look at her. I mean it, you fucking rat. You even breathe in her direction and I will make you so fucking sorry you ever stepped foot on my island in the first place, got it?”

Theo feigns amusement but you see the way he actively struggles against Rafe’s arm, your boyfriend’s tricep flexing where he’d rolled up the sleeve of the nice white shirt you’d picked for him tonight. “Oh, come on—”

“Got it?” Rafe repeats, leaning into him further. “Good.”

“You’re messing with years of history here, Rafe,” Theo goads. “You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“I do, actually,” Rafe says.

“Well then I’m sure Y/n here gave you the dramatic version of whatever happened between us,” he says, looking over at you once again. Rafe follows his eyes and steps to the side, blocking you from his line of sight. “I remember your neighborhood having an affinity for gossip.”

“My girlfriend doesn’t really tend to lie. Or speak badly of people who don’t deserve it, so,” Rafe says definitively.

“Right, my mistake.”

Your boyfriend scoffs in his face, laughing like he doesn’t even deserve the time of day. And he doesn’t—which reminds you that you should probably be trying to tug Rafe away, but you’re frozen to the spot watching the exchange, still clutching your bottle of wine. “You’re—yeah. You’re right, your mistake. Your mistake ever treating her like that, or ever letting her go.”

“Well that worked out for you, though, didn’t it?”

“This isn’t about me,” Rafe growls, pushing into him again. “I know I don’t deserve her, but it’s not because I think I’m better than her. It’s actually the opposite, and I’ll be damned if I ever pull something as stupid as you did because I’m too much of a fucking idiot to realize how lucky I am. She makes me better. And she would’ve made you better too. But you don’t get to try again just because she proved you wrong.”

Theo has the wherewithal to appear sheepish at that, and you turn away as their voices quiet. “Guess I was wrong about her, huh?”

“Dead wrong,” Rafe agrees. “Dead fucking wrong. If you somehow don’t end up alone for the rest of your sorry life, I’m seriously praying for whoever has to put up with you. But it won’t be my girlfriend.”

Theo’s last wise-crack is lost on you because suddenly Rafe is letting him off the wall and then he’s all-encompassing, arms around you guiding and pulling you out of the room, whisking you away with a soft but firm touch that your body still welcomes even in its state of shock after everything that just occurred. “Rafe, I—he—you—”

“I know, baby, hold on,” he says, leading you further and further away until he’s pushing open a side door and leading you outside. His tone had gone completely soft again.

“But, wait. The dinner, Rafe—”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Rafe,” you say, the panic returning to your body, picturing your parents awkwardly explaining where the three of you have gone, fielding accusations from Grandpa Ellis who will only turn it into some thing about how misbehaved your dad’s kids are. “We can’t just leave.”

“Everyone moved on to dessert in the parlor, Y/n,” he explains, finally facing you in the glow of a crackling outdoor fire pit on one of the side patios. “Nobody’s gonna notice we’re even gone, alright? You’re fine, sweetheart. I promise. Now, will you let me look at you?”

Rafe doesn’t await confirmation as he cups your face in his hands, turning you to-and-fro, eyes appraising. His hands fall to your shoulders, brushing along your neck and then sliding down your arms, where he goes for your right arm, gently holding your wrist. You realize a beat late that he’s checking you for injuries. “Rafe, he didn’t—he was just holding my arm.”

“God fucking dammit,” Rafe bites out, scrubbing a hand over his face, fingers carding through his hair and mussing up his once-gelled strands. “I knew I should’ve followed him down there. If I ever see that kid again, I swear to god I—”

You’ve nearly tuned out Rafe’s irateness, studying the wine bottle you’re somehow still holding in your hand instead. When you went to get it, you were so happy and now you were a mess, mind racing with thoughts you thought you’d quieted over the years. You fail to notice Rafe had cut his rant short, going quiet as he simply watched you. He slowly tugs the bottle out of your hand, resting it on the outdoor settee in front of the fire.

“Are you okay?”

You furrow your eyebrows, which forces more tears out of your eyes—you hadn’t stopped crying. “What? I just told you… I’m fine. He didn’t hurt me.”

“No,” he shakes his head. His thumb wipes away some tears but it’s useless because they’re practically relentless at this point, flowing rapidly of their own will. “I don’t mean just that, Y/n/n. You’re crying—you were down there for so long… what did he say to you, sweet girl?”

It’s the nickname that causes the first sob to break in your chest, hearing it right after Theo had asked where his sweet girl had gone. You weren’t his anymore, and you hardly even were to begin with, but somehow you still let him get to you after all of these years.

“Rafe, i-it, I—”

Rafe slowly pulls you into his chest as you go temporarily speechless with your cries, pressing his lips to your hair for a long moment. “Tell me everything.”

—

In front of the fire and wrapped up in his arms, Rafe finally coaxes the entire Theo story out of you. Start to finish, summer to fall. It’s long-winded because he has to drag admissions out of you and simply wait you out when things get hard, but Rafe’s grateful because if he has even a millisecond to let his mind wander, he’d find himself busy scouring the entire property for the boy that thinks he gets to throw your heart away and then go looking for it again. Thinks he can put his hands on you, on any girl, when he thinks nobody is around to see. Like Rafe hadn’t been anxiously and impatiently waiting at the table until EJ finally caught on and then threw him a bone, announcing to the table he’d send Rafe to check on you so he wasn’t causing any eyebrows to raise at his untimely exit. The scene he saw in the wine cellar haunts him even though he swears he blacked out as soon as he heard ‘you’re hurting me’ from just down the hall. Rafe could kill him.

“I could kill him.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t,” you say, and Rafe loves that after everything he got a smile out of you without even trying. You could smile if you thought it was a joke but Rafe meant every word. “Your island, huh?”

Rafe blushes at words hurled in the heat of the moment. “As long as you’re on it.”

“Hey, thank—”

“Y/n Y/m/n,” he interrupts. “I know you’re not about to thank me for that.”

You purse your lips and shrug, Rafe admiring the now dry skin on your cheeks where they glow in the fire. “Whatever.”

“Whatever,” he mocks. “But I’m sorry you had to see all that.”

“It was fine, honestly,” you say. “You don’t scare me, you know?”

“I used to though, didn’t I?” he asks quietly.

You tilt your head in confusion. “What—when you used to get in those little fights in high school?”

Rafe winces, nodding nonetheless. “Yeah. Thought you didn’t like that.”

“I didn’t. I was scared you’d get hurt or something. But you’ve never scared me, ever,” you emphasize. “Not like that anyway.”

“Like what then?” he presses.

“Rafe,” you groan. “We’ve been heart-to-hearting all day, give me a break. I beg.”

“Humor me. I deserve a reward for not punching that guy.”

“You know what I’m talking about,” you accuse, tucking your face into his shirt. “I don’t think I would’ve let a guy like Theo have a hold on me like that if I didn’t see him as a one-way ticket out of my feelings for you.”

Regret overwhelms Rafe, even though he knows in his bones he was never ready to love you back then. He doubts himself from time to time these days, but he knows he’s come a long way from the stupid seventeen-year-old kid who was still kind of a jerk, who had absolutely no business handling a heart like yours.

“Should’ve just told you I liked you when I knew,” he confesses anyway. “Maybe I could’ve saved you from all this bullshit.”

“When did you know?” you wonder softly, your eyes searching in a way that makes Rafe feel like you’re inspecting his soul.

“Uh…” he trails off. “Well, I really missed you that summer, Y/n/n. A lot, and I don’t think I knew it then but it wasn’t just like, a friend thing. But then you weren’t you anymore, at least for a bit.”

“Yeah,” you agree. “I get it. I don’t think I would’ve liked me either back then.”

“No,” Rafe blurts, because you’re misunderstanding him completely. “No, I mean. I missed you still. Because you were back but you weren’t. And then the shirt thing happened and I was just a complete fucking goner. Knew I loved you at prom, though.”

“Shirt thing?”

“You wore my shirt to my state game, and you had my number painted on your cheek,” Rafe recalls, his forefinger brushing over where the blue and white paint had been five years ago. “And then I thought, ‘well. maybe…’ But you were still sad and I felt weird just because you were you, and then you told me you got into school in California, and… well. Yeah.”

Your silent but your eyes dance with mirth and Rafe recoils, sitting up a little straighter.

“What?”

“Then I beat you,” you tease.

“What do you mean you beat me?”

“I’ve liked you since you started dating Chloe. I win,” you declare.

“Now hold on. No, I—no, that doesn’t—do you not remember Midsummers sophomore year? Or the frog in eighth grade? Or fuck, Y/n/n, when I let you borrow my entire Harry Potter collection in fourth grade? You know I didn’t even own them yet, I’ve told you this, haven’t I? You asked Topper for his and he said no so I begged my dad to buy me them as an early birthday gift and I binged them in a week just so we could talk—you’re the fucking worst, you know that?”

You erupt into full-on laughter after stifling giggles for his entire speech, tumbling forward into his chest. “Oh my god, y-you—you’re so fucking cute.”

“Fuck you, Y/l/n. Seriously,” Rafe grumbles, his fingers digging into your ribs. “I was first.”

“So competitive,” you laugh. “And yet you still couldn’t even give me a hint that you liked me first.”

“I thought I was pretty obvious,” Rafe protests. “Not my fault you were so oblivious—we could’ve been dating for half a decade by this point.”

You settle down back into his chest, hands intertwining with his where it rests around your shoulders. You tug his rings off and start slipping them onto your own fingers, making Rafe’s heart skip a beat when you slip the one he’d inherited from his late grandfather onto your ring finger. “I don’t know if I was ready for you in high school, Rafe. I still had so much to learn—clearly, because I still thought you just wanted to hook up with me when you asked me out.”

“Stroked your ego a bit though, didn’t it?” Rafe says, his hand closing over yours so you can’t take the ring off yet. You turn and look back up at him, beaming.

“Maybe a little.”

“I don’t know how we would’ve done four entire years long distance,” Rafe says. “A year nearly killed me.”

“You visited like every other weekend. And we went home all the time.”

“Nearly killed me,” he repeats.

“Y’know—I hate it when you say you don’t deserve me or that you’re not good enough for me.”

Rafe’s smile falls slowly, the rush of your flirtations evaporating. “What?”

“In front of me or in front of anyone else. Hate it,” you whisper, burrowing further into his chest.

“I’m sorry, but I mean…”

“You’re about to do it again,” you chide, raising your eyebrows. Rafe doesn’t know what to say so he doesn’t say anything, leaning into your touch when you run a hand through his hair. “You rented my car, and you brought my grandmother her favorite flowers. You tore me open when I was acting cagey ‘cause you knew I needed the push, and then you just listened to me. You let me cry about some stupid guy who I hardly even think about anymore, and you protected me but you didn’t cause a scene because I asked you not to.”

Rafe still doesn’t think he’ll ever see himself through your eyes, but this is one of those moments where he’s really trying. It’s hard for him because he can’t imagine ever not doing those things for you because they’re not easy things but they’re easy for him because he loves you. But there’s this work involved, and he knows you work to love him but that’s different because Rafe knows he’s harder to love. And you shouldn’t ever feel like anyone is good enough for you but he’s realizing it isn’t that simple, and it’s neither of your faults but that’s just how it is.

You put it simply, anyway. “You’re my guy, Rafe. I choose you. Always.”

“How have the two of you not frozen to death yet?”

Rafe turns his head to see the cousins bundled up and heading your way, Tiffany holding a blanket that she drapes over the two of you before she settles with Penny on one of the couches across from you two. You immediately tuck your left hand under the blanket and out of sight, but you don’t remove Rafe’s ring.

“You guys missed dessert,” EJ announces, his wife Beth under his arm. “But someone brought you some anyway, right bud?”

“Here you go,” Noah says, placing a brownie directly in Rafe’s lap, the napkin he lays on top mostly likely meant to go under. You giggle into his chest and Rafe can’t help but smile.

“Thanks, Noah,” he says, sending Noah to sit in his dad’s lap next to Penny. Dylan eventually joins the party too, bringing Wilbur in tow, who prances right up to Rafe and immediately begs for crumbs. “Is Kendra asleep?”

“Yeah,” Beth sighs. “Ingrid’s watching her.”

“Caldecotts just left,” Dylan says softly, only loud enough for you and Rafe to hear over the crackle of the fire. “I watched them go.”

“Thanks, Dyl,” you say quietly, and your brother rolls his eyes. Rafe can see right through the feigned arrogance of a nineteen-year-old boy who still pretended he didn’t outwardly love his older sister. But his eyes flicker to Rafe then and he just nods in recognition before sitting on your other side, and Rafe will let him get away with it.

Because you’re finally, completely relaxed against him now, surrounded by your family and their loved ones while Theo is long gone, your hands still intertwined underneath the blanket Tiffany brought you two.

And neither of you can stop fiddling with the ring on your left hand.

—

Rafe triple checks that you’re soundly sleeping before leaving the guest room you’d been given for the night, tip-toeing down the stairs and to the kitchen, far enough away from where everyone’s asleep as not to disturb anyone.

He’d taken you up to bed after catching your third stifled yawn, and you’d been practically boneless by the time Rafe had finished brushing his teeth and came to join you under the covers. “You know it’s not him right? I don’t love him, and I don’t even like him.”

“I know.”

“It’s just hard being back here, being around all of this,” you clarified, your eyes drooping heavily. “But it’s easier with you here, I think.”

And then you’d rolled over and gone to sleep. He’d laid with you for probably fifteen minutes just doing the thing he does when you can sleep and he can’t yet—holding you and trying not to spend too much time just thinking about how lucky he is—before he finally extricated himself and made the trek downstairs that he’d been dreading all day.

The phone rings three times before his dad picks up, muttering a gruff greeting. “Rafe, it’s late.”

“I know, dad,” he cringes, reading the time on the oven’s clock display. “I’m sorry for getting back to you so late—it’s just been busy over here.”

They discuss the business-related things that Ward had been emailing him about all day, which really were things that could’ve gone through Rafe’s other boss or literally anyone else in his department, but such is Rafe’s life.

“I need that Monday, Rafe.”

Rafe lets out a sigh, already picturing you pouting when he was to log some hours on the last day of your trip. But he saw you slip your own work computer into your carry-on when you thought he wasn’t looking, so it looks like neither of you could fully make good on your promise to unplug this weekend. After everything that happened today though, Rafe craves the normalcy, the sheer mundanity of the two of you across a table from each other tapping away at your respective keyboards. Refilled cups of coffee and kicks in his shins when you get bored—it sounds like a dream. “Yeah, you got it.”

“Good,” Ward says. “You said you’re busy up there?”

“Uh, yeah,” Rafe says. “Just meeting the family and all that.”

“How’d it go?” his father asks, taking Rafe completely by surprise.

“It was hard,” Rafe admits, taking himself even more by surprise. “It’s a lot, dad. They’re… yeah. It’s intense up here, but I think I did alright.”

You’d told him that he did. You told him he was your guy. And that you choose him. Always.

“Well, bud,” Ward says, heaving his own sigh. “Can’t say I’m surprised. I mean, I told you it’d be this way with her, didn’t I?”

How silly of Rafe to even dare get to a vulnerable place with his dad, like he’d comfort him or something. “Yeah. You did.”

“Hm,” Ward hums. “Well, see you when you get back. And don’t forget to get that in Monday, alright?”

“Yeah, dad,” Rafe whispers. “Bye.”

The line clicks and Rafe stays leaned up against the kitchen counter for a second, honestly just feeling sorry for himself. Not even kicking himself for being stupid, but letting himself feel sad that this is how things were for him, because you’d always told him that it was okay if he did that.

Not even a hang in there or a cheer up, bud. Just a goodbye and one last reminder about work.

“Everything alright in here, son?”

He stands up straight again when your father enters the kitchen in his pajamas, heading straight for the fridge. “Um, yeah. I was just—”

“Do you want a sandwich, Rafe? I saw you skip out on dinner early tonight,” William says, already pulling ingredients out.

“You don’t have to—sure,” Rafe decides, dare his rumbling stomach give him away.

“PB&J?”

“Perfect.”

Your dad makes small talk while he makes two sandwiches, sliding the first one over to Rafe on a paper towel. “I’d tell you to bring one up to Y/n, but I’m willing to bet she’s asleep if she let you out of her sight.”

Rafe blushes as he polishes off his first half, nodding guiltily. “Yeah, she’s down for the count. Had to come make a phone call.”

“Everything alright?” William asks, setting both knives in the sink before taking a seat across from Rafe at the kitchen island.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Just work stuff,” Rafe explains, not putting much thought into it.

“How are things with the old man?”

“Fine,” Rafe says immediately. “Yeah. Fine. Same old.”

“So not fine?”

“Mr. Y/l/n, look. You don’t—”

“Rafe, I think after today there should be no doubt in your mind that I’m familiar with what you go through,” William points out, looking up from his own PB&J. “Very familiar. It’s okay.”

Rafe’s cheek falls into his fist where his arm props him up against the counter, and he’s really starting to feel the travel day wearing on him, now that he thinks about it. “Right. I’m sorry again for bringing this on. I didn’t know Y/n’s mom would go to all this trouble when I mentioned it.”

William rolls his eyes much the same way you do when Rafe finds himself unable to stop apologizing, waving the hand holding his sandwich in dismissal. “It’s fine. Gotta do it every now and then. Come suffer through a visit with the family, and then go back to your perfect little life. And Kendra’s about cute as hell, isn’t she?”

“She is,” Rafe agrees, feeling himself smile. “Can I ask you something, though?”

“Rafe,” your dad warns. “My daughter is only twenty-two. I know you’re not letting my dad get in your head about marriage this early.”

“No, god—no. I—Mr. Y/l/n, it’s not that.” Not yet.

“Then I’m all ears,” William says, seemingly giddy at Rafe’s panic. God, you were so much like him. That familiarity is what finally pushes Rafe’s thoughts out of his head and into the air between them.

“How’d you do it?”

William narrows his eyes. “What?”

Rafe clears his throat, setting the second half of his sandwich back down on the paper towel. His fingers tap on the marble for a second before he gestures to the kitchen around him, and the house in general. “How’d you get out of all of this? The business, your family—you got away from it all, didn’t you?”

Your dad hums in recognition, shrugging his shoulders.

“Huh. Well, easy one,” he says, dropping his uneaten crust to his own paper towel, brushing his hands together so any residual crumbs fall onto the paper towel. “I fell in love.”

“Wait, what?”

“Not what you expected to hear from your girlfriend’s mean old dad, huh?” William quips.

“Honestly? No,” Rafe admits. “And you’re not mean, by the way.”

“The Y/l/ns have been vacationing in the OBX for years, Rafe. It’s how I met Shan in the first place. Back when I was a lowly touron,” William says. A fond grin graces his features, and Rafe realizes that he really isn’t kidding.

“And…?”

“And that was her home, it’s where she wanted to be,” your dad explains. “I loved her and I wanted her home to be mine, too. The business part was easy—I never liked it. And Shannon was the perfect reason to just say fuck everything else, excuse my language.”

“Wow,” Rafe breathes. “Wow—no, yeah. Excused.”

“And I did all of that,” William continues. “And it wasn’t easy and things are still hard sometimes, but now you get to date my daughter because of it. ‘Cause I chose my wife.”

“Wasn’t there a fallout? Y’know, with your folks and everything?” Rafe asks.

“Oh yeah. Nuclear.”

“Shit—sorry, fuck. Sorry,” Rafe repeats, mouth gaping at his own actions.

“But we moved on,” your dad continues, paying Rafe’s outburst no mind. “I know you’ve seen a different side of me this weekend, Rafe. But I love my life. I love my wife and my kids are awesome—I don’t regret the choice I made one bit and I never will. Because as much as it was for them, it was for me, too.”

Rafe nods in stunned silence, picking up his sandwich to eat again. “Thanks for telling me that.”

“Anytime,” William says, patting Rafe’s shoulder on the way to the fridge for a bottle of water. “How is my daughter, by the way?”

“She’s good,” Rafe says, and he feels like he isn’t lying, not at all. Because he knows you’re good, because he made you good.

Your father turns on his way out of the kitchen to address Rafe one last time. “Alright. And you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You, Rafe. How are you?”

“I’m good, too.”

—

You just about keel over in adoration watching Rafe bid your entire family goodbye the next morning, from the way he flinches at your grandpa’s shoulder pat, to the blush that consumes his entire neck when your grandma kisses his cheek and makes him promise to give her the name of the florist he used for her arrangement. Noah’s in the running with Wilbur for who seems most upset to see him go, although you can’t say you feel the least bit guilty when you finally get him back to yourself in the car.

He’d offered to drive this time around, rolling down his window and waving goodbye one last time, committing to EJ that he won’t be a stranger anymore and shooting Penny a thumbs-up in solidarity. What had really caught your eye was the way your dad had hugged him, giving him a look you’d only ever seen for Dylan. This entire weekend was a lot, but Rafe was perfect—of course they all loved him.

“Ah,” you sigh as soon as Rafe drives off of the property. “We did it. Nobody died.”

“Drama,” Rafe sings, smacking your thigh lightly.

“Oh, the family meeting expert has returned, has he?” you jest, thinking back to Rafe’s cockiness the first time he met your parents and could tell they were head over heels for him.

“Never left,” Rafe says, still adjusting his seat and mirrors from your much shorter view as a driver. “But yeah, we did do it. You did it.”

“And now we have forty-three hours left of our first ever weekend away together,” you say, trying not to sound defeated. “Yay.”

“Oh no, this one doesn’t count either,” Rafe laughs. “We’re getting a do-over ASAP.”

“Are we?”

“I was thinking like, Wyoming. Unless there’s some oil heir out there I don’t know about that can’t seem to get over you.”

“No, he’s in Montana. We’re good,” you joke, leaning over the center console to kiss your boyfriend’s cheek. You slink down into your seat as he pulls onto the highway and sets the cruise control, his hand slipping to your knee when he can steady the wheel. You grab his hand, thumb stroking over his knuckles, wearing all of their proper rings once again. “I know it was a little much, and we had to deal with Theo, but. Thank you for coming with me, seriously. We can plan that do-over when we get back, yeah?”

“I’d go anywhere with you.”

“Well, I’d hope so. Seeing as it’s supposed to be a weekend away together,” you muse, flicking through your Spotify library for an upbeat album this time around.

“No, listen to me, though,” Rafe says. “I mean anywhere. I’d follow you wherever.”

You turn to look at him, a little confused at his tone of voice. “Rafe, we can pick the place together—it’s not a big deal.”

“Do you think it’s time to start talking about California?”

“Um,” you wrack your brain for your last visit with Delilah and Wren. It’d only been two months ago. “Well, sure. We could go in March, maybe? I’ll talk to them, we can probably stay for another week. But I thought you wanted to go somewhere new?”

“Y/n/n, I… I was thinking something a little more permanent, if you’re ready for that.”

You put your phone in the center console, no longer worried about if the music is matching the vibe of the still-rising sun or the beating in your heart. “You mean for my job?”

“For your career,” he corrects. “I know Agnes isn’t back until the summer, but it’s never too early to look, right? Just to see what we think?”

“But Rafe, what… would you still be able to work for your dad?” you question immediately, because it’s the first and biggest thought currently on your mind.

“Oh,” Rafe says, like it’s an afterthought. “Unlikely. But I wasn’t really counting on that.”

The wheels in your mind are slow but at least they’re turning now, picking up on what exactly he’s offering. “So, you—Rafe, you wanna quit?”

“Take a break,” he amends, shrugging one shoulder so the wheel keeps the car steady. “Like we talked about when we moved in together, remember? We’ll be back one day if it’s where we’re meant to be.”

“But… Ward’s not gonna like that, is he?”

“Doesn’t matter what my dad likes, Y/n,” Rafe reminds you, looking completely resolved. “What matters is you.”

“Rafe,” you say dumbly, all the other thoughts stolen from your brain as you just watch your boyfriend drive you through your grandparents’ town with ease, acting like he isn’t offering you the world. “Why are you saying this right now?”

He turns to look at you for as long as he can before his eyes have to go back to the road, bringing the hand intertwined on your leg to his lips, pressing a soft kiss right on your ring finger.

“Because you’re my girl and I love you, Y/n/n. And I’ll always choose you, too.”

[anticlimactiic]

yellow ! i’m leona your average carefree black girl i am twenty one, in pst and i play dionne the ariana grande as well as orion the harry styles. there’s more about them under the cut and yeaH ! click to find out more and smash that like button if you wanna plot and i’ll come slide in your dms. 

BEWARE mentions sexual & physical abuse below the cut !

orion sebastian grey aka harry styles 

orion was born to a CEO of a fortune 500 company and a kindergarten teacher - he’s very close to his mother but his father and him dont exactly see eye to eye, he wanted orion to take over the energy company and orion wanted to start his own tech company 

his father actually told him he’d never amount to anything, but by the time he was fifteen he’d sold his first app for over 3 million dollars and by the time he was sixteen he’d moved out on his own 

he came to valentina because two things, one he’s hopelessly in love with his best friend who doesnt feel the same way and two, he’s so fucking awkward he wouldn’t even know how to begin to ask someone out 

legit, throughout most his childhood he talked to like his two friends and his parents and their staff and that was it, he was even home schooled because he’s very advanced and teachers got tired of him always correcting them.

he’s very gentile you know?? like super awkward and soft and shy and he doesnt know when anyone’s flirting with him bc he doesnt really get like social cues - like in all honesty do NOT try and come to him if you’re sad or upset bc he really wont know what to do or say to help you

he’s very loving though!! if you’re one of the people he actually talks to, he’ll take care of you in any way that he can even if he doesnt talk to you, he’s the type to go out of his way to make you feel better 

the only relationship he’s ever been in was a weird one bc he was a submissive to this older woman who was friends with his momma and that ended about three years ago but he still feels like weird?? about it ???

OH he’s heteroflexible, like he’s hella curious about what it’ll be like to be with a guy but he’s lk unsure of how that’d work or....do.....

dionne nicole boodram aka ariana grande 

dionne was born to a drug addicted mother, she has no idea who her dad is but he died when she was only 2 so it doesnt really matter anyways (if ur wondering he was some drug dealer who her momma hooked up with for drugs). she was raised by her aunt and uncle who she calls momma and daddy, her cousins are basically her siblings but any time they’d get mad at her they’d be all “fuck you you’re not my sister anyways” and then her parents would be all STOP PLAYIN THATS YOUR SISTER 

this is really not important more just of an fyi her “aunt and uncle” who were really just family friends of her mom are black & so are all her siblings 

okay so she is a sexologist, she grew up a really like....horny kid (like can you imagine masturbating at like 5?? yeah that was bae) but sex was always like a secret thing in her household. her mom never actually had like “the talk” with her, she just sorta had to guess and figure it out on her own

random hc, she saw her first porn when she was five, her and her sibling found a movie marked peter pan - it was defs not a cartoon she got in a lot of trouble for watching it

she grew up very pretty middle class, her mom and dad have been together for over twenty five years and are still in love to this day 

she was molested by her cousin & her brother (the situation is kinda weird bc their cousin was older and he would like force her bro to touch her and like watch twas just a;lskdfjals;d weird i don wanna get super graphic bc triggers and all that but yeah)

she’s always been real real boy crazy, like since she was a little girl she wanted a boyfriend (she locked down her first bf when she was only 6) and shes like that desperation for love and affection is reason why the majority of her relationships ended - she’ll go above and beyond 24/7, over extending herself and giving everything she has until she’s got nothing left and then give some more 

when she was about 17 she was raped by a person she cared a lot about, she had a giant crush on this guy and she went to his house and because she was there she feels a lot of guilt like she brought it on herself and tbh she hasn't actually told anyone about what happened that day 

she started working for valentina when she was nineteen and working on getting her sexual education certificate, she’s now working on getting a sexology certification but she begged valentina to let her join the program because she’s on the verge of being kicked out of school if she doesnt pay her tuition  

dionne is such a firm believer in soulmates but she’s one of those people who believes in different kinds of soulmates and that love comes into your life for a reason even though all of her relationships have been disastrous shes still such a hopeless romantic