#fucking weak to that good queer romance shit

[akamaru01]

Ya'll I've been on "vacation" from streaming for about 10 days and in that time I've read 10 whole romance manga 9 of which were very very gay the gay ones all recommended by kdin

It's been wild and dear god am i apparently really weak to these stories

Catch These Hands, Love Is Hard For An Otaku (the only not gay one), I Can't Believe I Slept With You, Goodbye My Rose Garden, Scarlet, Doughnuts Under A Crescent Moon, I Decided To Fake A Marriage With My Junior To Shut My Parents Up, Shiki-san Is So Handsome, Our Teachers Are Dating, and the one that broke me the most Hello Melancholic

And there is still more on my list to read

[stvrpst]

Bummy shippers are some of the weakest links I've ever seen in a fandom😭 Imagine being a die-hard buddie shipper for years just to give up when the writers throw buck at yet another romance with little chemistry or buildup simply because Tommy is a guy.

I'm glad Buck can explore this side of himself, but that doesn't mean I'm going to settle with a lazy and inadequate excuse for LGBT representation. Have your opinions, but the writers could have handled Buck's storyline far better, and it's clear they're being lazy about it because Oliver has been so fucking silent about the entire relationship as a whole.

There is a difference between shipping gay couples and being borderline fetishistic. You're nasty if you're shipping only to see two men kiss and fuck, rather than for the important reasons, to see a beautiful queer story with chemistry, depth, and buildup between the two

Which I'm sure half of bummy shippers are guilty of. Because bummy literally has the same build and chemistry as all of Buck's previous relationships, if not less. The same relationships you were complaining about weeks ago.

I thought y’all said we needed to stop putting buck in relationships that lacked chemistry and build up?💀

Why is it okay now? Cuz Tommy’s a man? I hope y’all are aware of how stupid y’all’s asses sound.

Cuz to claim Tommy is complex, or even has an ounce of characterization is absolutely insane, and hypocritical. His only attributes is him being a racist misogynistic asshole, and a borderline boring ass character.

And news flash! just because people want to see a realistic, queer, slow burn romance that isn’t rushed or built off of envy and jealousy, doesn’t make them homophobic. It has nothing to do with homophobia, it’s about chemistry and depth, and the relationship as whole. I could give less of a fuck if tommy is a man.

People can have their opinions and it doesn’t mean they’re homophobic just because they clocked the fact that the rep media is pushing is repetitive and shitty. It just means people are not wiling to settle for just two guys kissing. We want more then that.

"Why can't we just enjoy this!" Because it’s people like you who make media feel comfortable enough to hurl poor excuses of LGBTQ representation at us.

you're a bunch of weak fucking links who fold at just a fraction of poorly written stories about a man kissing another man, rather than advocating for authentic, original, compelling, and well-written representation for us.

And then you have the nerve to whine about our poor media reputation. You are the reason why. They see you folding at a man kissing a man and decide to just throw it in our faces without putting in the effort, like "Here!" "Now shut up!"

Because you don’t pressure them enough to actually look into and understand genuine queer representation. Y’all drool and foam from the mouth at just the thought of two men kissing or fucking, and that’s what they give us.

It's obvious that the "rep" we got was shit, because if it was good, why is half the rep y’all think we got, just made up headcanons? Why do you have to pay $200 for someone to discuss it and provide headcanons? Why is Tommy's entire non-existent personality based on headcanons that are neither canon nor depicted in the show?

Why is the relationship in general on Twitter and here primarily made up of headcanons? I promise you, if the representation was really that good, you wouldn't have to pay $200. If Tommy had true complexity and characterization, you wouldn't need to create all of these headcanons because it would’ve been displayed on the show instead.

If the representation was that good, Lou wouldn’t have deluded y’all with all these headcanons. He wouldn’t need to, cuz it would’ve been shown on the show. But alas, we got jack fucking shit, and now y’all have to rely on headcanons to give this relationship some substance and legs to stand on.

Like this isn’t about ships, and whose better or whatever the fuck. This is about getting good representation in media. This is about getting beautiful, complex, queer stories, which Buddie already had the foundation for.

And instead of the writers taking the perfect opportunity to tell a beautiful story that could’ve been told between the two, the writers decided to throw in a random ass white man with zero characteristics or chemistry with Buck. That’s why people are upset.

“They’re just mad because it’s not their ship!” and they have every right to be mad that it’s not their ship, because unlike yours, their ship had all the key components and foundational build that the writers could’ve used to bring a beautiful queer story to life. But alas, they took the easy way out.

It’s a reasonable response.

I don't understand criticizing and mocking people because they're outraged that the writers fumbled an opportunity to show accurate representation in media. I do not understand how the responses to the writer's poorly written storyline is homophobic.

I really don’t.

Also, some of us are tired of seeing the same boring ass gay white couples over and over. That shit is repetitive. Some of us, who are POC or even just white, want to witness a beautiful interracial queer couple. It's not all about your queer, white ass. The world already revolves around you. Excuse us for wanting to see some interracial queer representation.

Pushing for greater queer POC representation is not homophobic.

Do you know what is homophobic and racist tho? Being actively opposed to having an openly queer Mexican lead character because the idea threatens your bland ass, white ass ship.

So you'd rather keep them straight, knowing that there are Mexican and Latino queer fans that identify with Eddie and see him as a comfort character. But let's rescind the representation they could get so that another white queer couple in the media can capture their attention.

[sidekick-hero]

20 questions for writers

I was tagged by some amazing fellow writers, thank you so so much @puppy-steve, @corrodedbisexual, @steviewashere and @just-my-latest-hyperfixation 💜💜💜 (once again late to this because I'm still sick and feeling crummy)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 167, 83 of these in the Stranger Things Fandom (my current one).

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

593,064 (holy shit)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently exclusively Stranger Things, the brainrot is still going strong.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Emotional Motion Sickness

You know I'm a show off (I would let you get some)

Louder

we tangle endlessly like lovers entwined

I’m tired of asking to settle the debt

5. Do you respond to comments?

I really, really try! I want to answer to all of them because every single comment means so much to me. But I'm also at around 500 unanswered notifs on AO3 (not all are comments, some are replies on my comments) and it may take a while to catch up 🫣

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ufff, pretty sure that's we pass the ghosts that haunt us later. The ending is ambiguous, but was angsty enough that @legitcookie demanded it to be fixed...

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

... which led to us co-writing the next part I wore his jacket for the longest time with a happy ending that to me at least feels like the most satisfying happy endings of all of my fics.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far I haven't, my experience with fandom has been entirely positive and wonderful 💜

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Juuuuup. Love it. I think most of my fics are rated explicit. I had a phase in which I mostly wrote pwps, trying my hand on more comedy and romance but I feel like writing smut might be my calling 😂

10. Do you write crossovers?

I wrote one, a crossover between Stranger Things and Fargo S5. It's a metaldeputy fic (Gator Tillman and Eddie Munson) called caught in the careless arms of lust again

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of at least.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, two have been translated to Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! With @legitcookie and with @yournowheregirl, and it's amazing. I loved it and would definitely do it again.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I think steddie, it just really scratches an itch I didn't even know I had.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Uffff, good question. I would never say never tbh. And I don't have many WIPs. Maybe the Time Travel threesome fic (Eddie/Eddie/Steve) I started with Jen. Still loving the idea but not sure when I'll be able to get back to that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Smut, I think? And a few people told me I'm good at vivid descriptions.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Long sentences. Dialogue. As stupid as it sounds, plot? Like, world building and coming up with a complex plot.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

So fucking hard.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Queer as Folk, wayyyy back in the day.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oh man, that's a hard one, I love all of my fics. I think from my multi-chapter fics I have to say I wore his jacket for the longest time, especially because of how much I loved writing it but also because I love me a good character growth and second chances fic. And of my one-shots I have a soft spot for to the rhythm of eternity (my love letter to my favorite city) and Take your time (I wanna cross some lines) (a pwp I spend AGES on writing).

I have no idea who has been tagged already so if you've been tagged please forgive me and link me to your answers 💜

@runninriot, @hbyrde36, @acasualcrossfade, @judasofsuburbia, @pearynice,

@shares-a-vest

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

So with Clementine Book Two coming out in October, I decided to do another reread of Book One. Though, I'll be honest, the bigger reason for this reread was out of spite; I follow Tillie Walden on instagram, and while I don't go on there often, I usually check her page when I do so I can see any new artwork or Clementine updates. Her latest post is from one of her other graphic novels, and I guess I just... don't get it.

I don't understand why people are like this:

This is on a post that has nothing to do with the Clementine comics. As for ones that are about Clementine-

Those are just a handful from a few Clementine-related posts, but there's so much of this all over Tillie's posts and I don't understand.

What does this accomplish? Other than making you look like an asshole? Like... no one is impressed by this. No one is applauding you for repeatedly commenting "lol we didn't want a forced gay romance ew," which by the way? Repeating that in every single paragraph you comment? Tell me you're homophobic without saying you're homophobic, y'know?

There are legit criticisms to be had of Clementine Book One- The pacing is all over the place where it starts very slow and then goes into whiplash mode after Amos dies. Georgia as a villain is a weak point in the story. Clementine naming her leg after Kenny is a bit icky considering in canon, he physically and verbally abused a disabled person with a brace on his leg in S2. I don't think there was much thought behind that decision past "Hey, the fans like Kenny," and I think that's worth pointing out as "Hey... maybe don't?"

Some of the dialogue is a bit stilted, but some of it is actually pretty good. My personal favorite is when Clementine and Amos are fixing a roof-

Amos: Lord, this roof is... Clementine: ...fucked? Amos: SHH, don't say that! It's... troubled.

I'm sorry- that's funny! And it actually says a lot about who these characters are and the kind of friendship they have.

And yeah, Ricca is just okay. She's clearly the love interest, and I'm hoping we get more development of her character. And yes, the "baby" thing is still weird.

There's a lot about the art style that I'm not crazy about, specifically Clementine's face and expressions, and I hope to see an improvement in that for Book Two.

And then the obvious: Clementine leaving because she was unhappy and felt everyone thought she was a liability doesn't match up with the end of TFS.

I don't think it's mean to say that Tillie wasn't the best fit for this project, but that's on Skybound. They're the ones who reached out to her and hired her. I think Tillie's a great artist and her graphic novels have great queer, wlw representation in them. Just because she wasn't the perfect fit for Clementine that doesn't mean she's bad, it means that maybe she should've been considered for a different project.

And honestly...? Y'all, Book One isn't THAT bad. It's not great or anything, but the comics can't take the games away from you. If you want to say canon ends with the TFS, then that's where it ends. That's where it ends for me; these comics are more of a "what if" scenario than anything.

No one is forcing you to accept this as canon, and if you're so pathetically butt hurt over the existence of a comic that you feel like you have to go on Tillie's instagram, the artist who is only doing the job she's obligated to do, and comment shit like this on every. single. post-

Maybe, just maybe, you need to go outside. I'm serious.

This isn't the only comment about grooming on Tillie's posts, or that I've seen on reddit. Like... do you understand what grooming actually is and how serious it is? Or are you just using it as a buzzword that you know is bad and triggering as a means of insult and convincing others that she's bad, too?

Also, I don't think you really understand how creativity and writing work. Maybe it's just me, though I doubt it, but when I create characters or write already established characters in my fanfiction, they all have a piece of me that's apart of them. My life experiences and who I am as a person influences everything I write, and that bleeds into the characters, for better or worse.

What, you think Louis having a random pillow collecting problem was something I just pulled out of my ass? No, it's because I have a pillow collecting problem! Do you know why I've always had a such a hard time writing for Violet? It's because I see a lot of myself in her and that scares me and I'd rather just not unpack all of that, okay?

I mean, how many times on this hellsite have you come across someone saying, "lol my otp is just Person A is my type and Person B is the one I project onto" and it has thousands of notes because, on some level, we all get it.

Tillie has talked about Ricca before and like most creative people, she's drawn from her own life to create her characters. Ricca isn't some self-insert character just because they both wear glasses, I'm-

You are just being an asshole! I just- I'm getting pissed off because this shouldn't even be a thing. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? WHO HURT ALL OF YOU?

I love Clementine, too! She's important to me! I have replayed TWDG more times than I can count! I was pissed about the comics in the beginning! You can go back on my blog and I probably said stupid shit, too!

But Clementine isn't real. She's a fictional video game character. She isn't going to reward your bullying or white-knighting because she doesn't exist. You're not doing this because you're a "true fan" that loves Clementine. Honestly, if you were a true fan, you would know that if Clementine was real, she would find you and this behavior disgusting. Tillie Walden is a real person and I don't give a flying fuck if you hate her work. By all means, hate the comic! Criticize the comic and Skybound for continuing the series, but leave Tillie out of it.

And I think the part that sucks the most is it doesn't matter what I say, you can't rationalize with irrational people intent on being assholes so they're not going to stop.

I guess what I'm trying to show with all of this is when Book Two comes out, and y'all start reading it and making posts... please don't be these people.

Whatever you may feel about Clementine Book Two, try to remember that Tillie Walden is a real person and she's just doing the job that Skybound hired her for. Tillie's an artist just trying to live her life in Vermont with her wife and their cats, and she's gotta deal with all of these people harassing her posts. She can't even post something non-Clementine related without a bunch of #notmyclementine shit in the comments.

I don't even know what else to say... Uhm, I guess if anyone from those screenshots sees this, then... I don't feel that bad about calling you an asshole. We all learned in kindergarten to treat others the way we want to be treated, but maybe you were sick that day, I don't know. Go outside. Get your life together. We have a short time on this planet and maybe you should try to actually accomplish something while you're here. Eat a kitkat or something👍

[thedragonagelesbian]

want to tell me anything that'd be cool to know about cyrus hawke in his original setting? romance? relationship to varric? opinion of gamlen? characters alive in his worldstate that contradict canon? the inquisitor's decision in the fade?

!!!!!!!! YES I'M ALWAYS DOWN TO TALK ABOUT ORIGINAL DRAGON AGE!CYRUS

(Kind of) Cool Shit

He's a blue -> red Hawke, his initial & overwhelming kindness & good faith in others worn away by the years in Kirkwall

He can't sing, but will do it anyway if he gets drunk enough

A combination of overexposure to Anders' healing magic + using the life stealing ability from the Hawke key + the amount of his blood that has been spilled in Kirkwall & seeped into the city's magisterium-corrupted foundations has left him. Cursed. The two interrelated issues are (a) his body is self-healing (and while Cyrus is already alienated from his body on account of his trans-ness & viewing it as merely a tool for protecting others, this alienates him further) and (b) his connection to the Fade is weak, even for a non-mage. This asymptotic approach to Tranquility grants him a templar-like denial of magic, for better and for worse.

He ends up in Val Royeaux after DA2 with Merrill, Varric, Alistair (less shitty version of the exile ending), and Zevran (Alistair's bf & working with Briala & her spy network)

He's extremely varterral coded (elven protector bound by duty who can't die). After Briala reactivates the Eluvian network, Merrill is able to repair hers, and as part of his work to make the routes safe for Briala's spies, Cyrus pacifies & adopts the varterral from The Masked Empire when it respawns

Romance

Technically within the parameters of what the game will allow, no one, but in the world of wild headcanoning, Merrill & Fenris are his queer platonic life partners, he and Anders are in love for basically the whole game but don't pursue a deeper relationship for a lot of complicated reasons (Cyrus doesn't know how to ask for help, so Anders assumes that he knows what Cyrus needs & that he would be better off without him), and Varric is his great romantic love.

Relationship with Varric

They get off on awkward footing in Act 1-- Varric has Cyrus pegged as a very easy mark for conning into funding the Deep Roads expedition, and the heroic selfish shtick grates him the same way Sebastian grates him, and while Cyrus does naively trust him, Varric is just... a little too smooth, polished, inoffensive. Their relationship begins to shift around the Deep Roads expedition. They both take Bartrand's betrayal hard, and then Cyrus nearly dies saving Varric from the ancient rock wraith, and then Bethany is taken to the Circle when they return to Kirkwall and Cyrus gets himself in a lot of trouble trying to break her out again. Varric is more worried about him than he'd like to admit and tries to help by telling Cyrus that he could do more good for Bethany (and for the Circle & Alienage) by leveraging the social & financial capital he'll accrue from the Deep Roads expedition. Cyrus isn't wholly convinced, but after a bloody encounter with the templars nearly kills him, he tries to believe it.

Varric spends the next few years desperately telling himself that he doesn't care & isn't jealous of whatever the fuck is going on between Cyrus & Anders. Leandra's death is the next major inflection point in their relationship. Varric invites him to crash in his suite in the Hanged Man & helps him through the complicated (& shared) feelings of losing a mother he may not have actually liked as much as he thought he did.

Come the Arishok duel, Cyrus nearly dies again (he's a tank, it's what he does), and while trying to heal him back up, the party discovers the aforementioned magic resistance. That + the exhaustion of the day + the heartbreak over Isabela leaving + the fury toward Aveline & the city guard + the uncertainty of who he will be now that he's been named Champion prove to be more than Cyrus can bear (and he can bear a lot). Cyrus is terrified that he's given away so much of himself that he can't find his way back. He feels lost in his role as the hero, and even lashes out at Varric for his part in constructing that persona ("What am I supposed to make of that, of all the stories you tell about me, of the damned nickname, other than that I am supposed to be the world’s savior?") Varric apologizes and reassures Cyrus as best he can that he is more than any title or storyteller's trope. He is his own person, and he's allowed to live for himself and his own desires, however selfish they may be.

And then they kiss.

And they've been together ever since!!

Relationship with Gamlen

Complicated, because Cyrus' relationship with Leandra is complicated, and as deeply as he desires to give his mother everything she could ever want, and as much as he's willing to sacrifice to to do that, Gamlen gives him a glimpse of what it would be like to not live like that, and Cyrus... doesn't hate what he sees, even if he feels like he should.

Characters still alive contradicting canon

Orsino, because that boss fight is bullshit.

This isn't quite the same thing, but I do have an AU where Cyrus doesn't kill Anders during the Last Straw (feeling otherwise obligated to fulfill the role Anders demands of him as the Hessarian to his Andraste, even though he doesn't want to & will carry the guilt & grief of that decision with him for the rest of his life) & they + Varric instead get to live out a happy polycule life

Inquisitor's decision in the Fade

Short answer: Cyrus doesn't even volunteer to stay behind. His days of reckless sacrifice are behind him at this point, and Loghain Mac Tir is not among the very narrow list of people he would still sacrifice his life for.

Long answer:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I've been doing a lot of naval gazing about this decision as part of trying to square the timeline in my head with Varric's appearance in Veilguard. If both Cyrus & Varric are alive by the end of Inquisition, I can't imagine Varric leaving Cyrus behind to pursue Solas. It was hard enough for them to be apart while Varric was with the Inquisition, they've earned their happy ending & rest, and the Inquisition has plenty of other operatives (including the Inquisitor herself) who could be hunting Solas instead. So. Either it's not Varric at the start of Veilguard, or something has to happen to Cyrus. Whether that means staying in the Fade (would only do it to save Varric) or something else, I haven't decided.

[autumn-oceanopromises]

Writing Like A Woman

I bought a book and I'm waiting for it to be delivered: "To Write Like A Woman: Essays in Feminism and Science Fiction", by Joanna Russ. I've never read her work before, seminal and powerful as it seems to be in relation to queer, intersectional, and feminist perspectives, and her work seems to be mostly out of print, as she was active (and alive) in the 60s to 90s.

I'll be quite honest - up until probably my mid-twenties, the title of that book alone would have put me off it completely. (There's a whole story and essay to be had there, the growing-up ways that a POC immigrant boy - man - seeks the media perception of white (=good, =great) masculinity and pretends to be the most masculine and milquetoast, which includes rejecting femininity in everything, in order to reject perceptions of weakness, which are mostly to do with how other boys see boys, within the masculine subculture. How virtue signaling is constant, even in the most private of spaces and to absolutely nobody but myself.)

But that's not the topic of this entry. This one's about writing like a woman: the female-expectation-derived plot points and structures that are rarely examined and re-combined by amateur male writers, why writing and exploring those structures are especially important in the low-agency world we are entering into or are already living in now, and how I want to but don't quite know where to start.

*Trigger warnings and disclaimers: I come at this from the perspective of someone whose publicly posted body of amateur writing is 50% poetry, 40% erotica/pornography, including some extremely dark content (though none of it is, of course, hosted on this blog), so appropriate trigger warnings apply when I discuss this, and 10% other things, including NANO novels, short stories, slash and romance fanfic, game design, worldbuilding lore, marketing copy, etc. I read predominantly amateur fantasy and science fiction, often fanfiction, and not professionally published literary fiction, horror, or romance, and am unaware of the trends within them. I am a cishet POC man living in a predominantly white country, and as such, may mention and perpetuate problematic perspectives. This is my personal opinion, written in 2023.* I've approached the work of Joanna Russ circuitously. I would like her guidance in the literary analysis of feminist fiction. I discovered her first by finding out about her essays and novels from r/menwritingwomen, a subreddit about pinpointing the ways that men write women - as a lampoon, as a satire, as a horror. I've looked at critical, if fond, examinations of her work, which is often the only things available for free on the Internet any longer - respected authors, mostly women, who point to her work as something that inspired and provoked them. I very, very much look forward to finding out what her work reads like. I very much look forward, if dread, examining and being deeply, viscerally horrified, at my thinking, my plot structures, and my internalized bigotry. I look forward to deliberately playing some really horrible shit straight, but with an undercurrent of horror. I look forward to writing things which are less horrifying. I very much look forward to writing like a woman, especially in science fiction and fantasy.

Writing like a woman without acerbic wit and superb guidance (at least according to all the critics), it turns out, in 2023 amateur writing spaces, even and especially under the current flood of "strong female characters", is incredibly fucking hard. Writing, plot and structure, is still mostly treated with the implication and context of masculine-derived plot and structures. The Hero's Journey is about men, after all, and it inseminates most things in modern media. In amateur genre fiction, which holds a lot of eyeballs, including isekai and litRPGs, there's very few non-male viewpoints; fantasy and science fiction as a setting abounds just about everywhere, but the rise and fall of the plot remains action, adventure, base-building, and shounen: everything stems from what society expects and pressures boys and men to do and desire: to conquer, to save, to explore, to investigate, to fight, to build and create, to happen to - to take, to seize, to plunder.

Some of the most popular tropes in this field are: overpowered protagonists, crushing and laying waste to things before them; time travel, cheat items and powers, systems to manipulate and game. The number of these stories are increasing, rapidly, and are a thriving ecosystem - the number of popular complete fucking jackasses maybe one or two morality pets is through the fucking roof.

I consume an absolute shit-ton of these. It was originally a guilty pleasure, but it's rapidly become less guilty, and more of blatant escapism and a solid portion of my day. I'm one of the target audience: I hate my job, but am reasonably good at it in some bits. I hate going to work, I hate being at work, and I hate the feeling of general helplessness and corporate bullshit, in myself, my team, and my customers, even while being very aware that I have probably some of the least corporate bullshit and helplessness that a person working in retail and in general is trading time for money, has. I have very much a lot of agency and I know I'm using it very poorly.

There is very little stopping me, in terms of amount of bureaucratic rules, except for the fact that the company is seriously overcharging people for a health-related product, mainly because the company is part of the fashion-industrial complex and a monolithic monopoly in the heart of unchecked capitalism. As a symptom of the general shittiness though, and unrelated to the corporate bullshit side of things, I especially hate entitled customers, who treat my team and me like shit for less and less amounts of money. Sure, you paid a "lot" of money for "the worst customer service in your whole life". We went out of our way to give you special treatment, including at least three free products and processes worth nearly 1.5 grand, something like four hours in consultation, and you in total spent $200 in a store where $800 is the average price, where you knew the average price walking in. I wish you genuinely shitty customer service for the rest of your miserable fucking life. That said, it's true that people in general just are making less money than the prices of living goods, and belts are squeezing tighter everywhere. If you can afford belts.

As people get less and less able to afford important shit, become less and less able to enact their own personal individualism and individual thoughts, and more and more ruled by whatever the higher-level narrative is - the news, the fashion companies, the social media trends, all of that shit - the more escapism rises, but also the more I believe that writing like a woman, like the challenges women faced in in the '60s to '90s is important. I would like to write "like a woman": I want to explore plot structures where the action happens in carving out agency under an unbearable and generally unbeatable social pressure - focusing more on the bureaucratic rather than the supernatural as in horror genre fiction, rather than the protagonist happening to the world. Figuring out the mystery where everyone and everything wants to kill or suppress you, girl (or boy, or other) meets house, and more structures that I just don't know yet, with and about things happening to the protagonist, the manic pixie dream boy archetypes, all that shebang and shemoves. I realize as I say this that it sounds incredibly stupid. The whole first half of the hero's journey is shit happening to the protagonist, the protagonist breaking out and developing agency, and arguably, a protagonist - especially in film - is almost always entirely reactionary.

But that focus on it? Where the pressure is right there, if unacknowledged or right out of the eyeline? Where specifically, the focus is the variation on and about carving out what little agency you can have in a world that specifically is trying to keep you down and quiet and in your little box and if you go too far they'll slap you down into place with horrific impersonal consequences, so walking the line and making peace with walking the line, is really, really important? Joanna Russ wrote a lot of this in science fiction, and many, many feminist writers have explored this in fantasy (in historical and epic), in mystery, in romance, in horror, in literary fiction, in erotica made by and for women. It exists in trans narratives, in queer narratives, in POC narratives, in narratives about poverty.

I don't know anyone who's cross-applied the same structures to the boxes for cishet middle-class men, even though we're rapidly entering a world where those boxes are getting more and more obvious and more and more crushing, because the middle-class is shrinking rapidly and high-level narratives, spin, trends, all that shit, are turning people on people. Radicalising via arousing extreme states of anger and fear, lust and gluttony and envy and greed. And, okay, there's a lot of fiction out there for cishet men already. It's just, that fiction for cishet men always runs with the same narratives that, frankly, causes this shit to happen IRL for everyone else.

I'll be honest: this whole entry is probably nothing new to people already reading and agreeing with the points of feminist literature. And cishet man discovers one of the good points of feminist literature, news at 11. But it matters to me.

And I don't know any mainstream literature or media, where specifically, the direction to make this situation and setup is about empowerment. Bioshock, maybe. But even that has caveats. Because a lot of works in these structures are tragic, specifically are about arousing extreme fear and anxiety and tension. Sometimes sexually arousing, sometimes sublimating it into an orgy of "justified" violence. Can I make this setup empowering and joyful and ecstatic and awe-inspiring and wonderful, with happy endings that don't result in breaking out of the physical box entirely or withdrawing into personal self-isolation, through whatever means? Because the pressure is overwhelming and there's a lot of it. And you can't change the world around you, you can't control it, but you can control yourself and your reaction to it - that's one of the most common therapy adages. And this is, very much, the same thing. I think it's really important, because the direction, very much, in high-level narratives and spin, especially in Western countries, is "give up when you're faced with this pressure". It's give in and join the complex. It's "escape into a fantasy world where shit is easy". It's escape into apathy. Apathy is the highest it's ever been, political or otherwise. Lack of social connection, lack of intimacy, lack of knowing and understanding and empathizing. It's rabble-rousing with undirected anger and fear directed against other people who are also angry and fearful.

And I think it's really worth disguising as a different take, so that some of the audience that's consuming media and fiction that would cause it IRL, instead starts looking at and exploring and varying takes on dealing with it instead. I don't know if there is much like this, in published fiction. though maybe there's a heap of it and I just have never found it. Therapy-heavy fiction and takes exist, but they come off really proselytizing.

Specifically though, on a personal level, I'm wondering, yet again, about the courtesan universe that I'm writing. All the fixed points in the timeline, everything I've written so far about it, I now realize is variations on this theme. But, having come at it from a male perspective, having written and consumed only ever male perspectives or male-reflected expectations and perspectives, it's always come off incredibly flat, somehow, with caricatures of characters. I've put in conflicts and things which are irrelevant and sometimes contradictory to the underlying message and exploration of theme for that universe, and it reads badly. My whole life, as well, has been about "breaking out of the box", while being incredibly aware that I keep putting myself back inside, or breaking out of the box and realizing I'm just in a bigger box; carving out agency while staying in the same box still feels like a failure to me.

I really want to explore this, though. I want to carve out my own agency, and be okay with it, living in the box that society dictates. I would like to explore, in writing, and hopefully share with other people, and inspire them to explore the same thing, their own takes on it. This is still, quintessentially, a very male perspective on a female-based structure, and I'm aware of that, so I would appreciate guidance. I really want to tell these stories, and explore these themes, writing like a woman.

[nilianightvale-tes]

Randomly laughing because I remembered the skyrim romance mod writers going on and on about Casavir and some dark secret

... And it's literally just he gets horny like what kinda dumbass would write that in alongside the so called romance partner who thinks no means maybe if he screams at them loud enough

Literally you got Bishop who does nothing but insult you, talk about your body in a gross way, scream at you for sex and screams more of you don't want to sleep with him to which the mod tries to force your charecter into feeling bad with the lines" you see his face change and realize how much you hurt him" (I will beat the everliving shit out of who thought that line was OK to put in)

Then they try to compare it to Casavir and make Casavir the bad one, like sorry but I'm go with the man who doesn't verbally assault me anytime he wants something.

I'd rather go with the queer mage oh but I forgot the writers are bigots and insult men that prefer dresses I know damn well the same. Writers would pile in a ton of transphobic jokes, or try to make. Him change into a "manly man"

(the mod adds a fucking r**pist and even he isn't as aggressive with trying to do stuff as Bishop is, the fact they had bishop try and pretend to give you to. Him. As if you are the weak one and he's string hm but bandit is sooo much stronger coming out with a "oooh I was trying to bide time" nothing this man does is in anyway good,

and to. Those who try to claim it's good or worth it because you can have a kid I really hope that shit doesn't carry on to real World shit because no child should be around that man or men like him , hell he can't even stop bringing up sex around the child nor can he stop with the rapey and sexist shit

[sudaca-swag]

I read a bunch of tiktok books this year so you dont have to these are my thoughts:

The atlas six: overhyped for sure, very forgettable absolutely nothing has stuck of this book with me, i dont think i will read the sequel. It was neither good or bad, just entertaining for a while but srlsy i remember nothing of it and i have a great memory. If u want a book that is actually "magical dark academia" pick up Babel by rf kuang.

Gideon the ninth: yeah def. I was so confused through all this book but the vibes are amazing, its funny, its a great sci fi book the world building is amazing but dont expect to understand much of it.

Crescent city: absolutely no, dont do this to yourselves if youre not an sj maas fan bc the next book in this series is going to involve all her other series and me personally i dont want to ever read ACOTAR. Its 800+ pages of boring writing, this book could have been an email.

A dark and hollow star: good if you were manipulated into the shadowhunter world like i am, its entertaining but that its, a little immature, solid beach read and i did like that the mcs are all queer.

The green bone saga: fucking read it, asian inspired urban fantasy with clan wars and magical powers, the family relationships are so good, the kaul siblings own my heart. Its heartbreaking.

Criers War: i liked the sapphic romance between the main characters, the fantasy element is a bit weak if youre mainly a high fantasy reader but its enjoyable.

Delilah green doesnt care: i wanted to love this book so badly but it fell kind of flat for me, i didnt like delilah and clare bored me. Its a solid read though, like 3.5 out 5 its worth checking it out.

Red, white and royal blue: absolute usamerican and british propaganda lmao, its as if mcdonalds was a book but imagine the most redneck mccombo you could get, asides from that the romance between the main characters was cute (and kudos to the author for erasing the harry potter references in the latest versions when jk rowling did all the terf shit). But read Boyfriend Material instead if youre past the age of 17

If this gets out: yeah, i cried my eyes out with this one lmao but its clearly based on larry stylinson ajwkckw cute and angsty mlm romance book.

The poppy war trilogy: absolutely yes

Six of crows: yeah, but it took me a re read to really like it bc the spanish translation was ass, i hated the main grishaverse trilogy though bc its more targeted towards younger audiences.

Vicious: YES im bound for a re read. I wished there was more of victor and the family in the second book though :(

Priory of the orange tree: definitely yes.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by K.J. Charles

4.25/5. Releases 3/7/2023.

Note: I was granted an audio ARC, and am reviewing the book with that in mind.

For when you're vibing with... Queer romance with a bit of mystery, a unique and transformative setting, "coming into your own as an adult" vibes, CRIME FAMILIES, and some good old-fashioned "we started out as hookup partners and oops now we're madly in love" shit.

Gareth, raised by an aunt and uncle who didn't love him and abandoned by his father in favor of a new family, has never been super confident. But he feels wanted when he's with "Kent", the man he's been meeting for anonymous sex for a week... until, that is, he fucks it up. Discovering that his father is dead and he's now a baronet is a worthy distraction, though he doesn't plan on staying at the marshy property he's inherited for long. Until he runs into Kent again--except Kent is actually Joss Doomsday, the up-and-coming leader of a family of powerful (and dangerous) smugglers. And though Gareth and Joss are initially on opposite sides, it quickly becomes apparent that the spark between them certainly hasn't died out... But pursuing it might put Gareth at odds with Joss's enemies.

I've finally tried K.J. Charles, and God, she's fucking good. This romance is well-written, hot, sweet, and accompanied by a mystery plot with stakes that I actually understood. Which is hard for me! (Was it really a mystery plot, or an imperiled lover plot that sort of involved mystery but was really about the obligations of being in a crime family and--)

Quick Takes:

--Joss Doomsday is one of my new favorite romance heroes, full stop. That doesn't mean I didn't love Gareth, because I totally did (and they're given solid division in terms of POV and characterization, which I liked--there was no "Gareth is the protagonist and Joss is the untouchable love interest", which has turned me off of some m/m romances I've read.). Gareth is funny, a bit hapless, extremely relatable in terms of trying to find his place in the world and sort of coming up with *shrug emoji*. But Joss is just... well, hot, obviously, but similarly relatable... in the fact that he does know his place, and his place involves being weighed down with familial expectations and responsibility. Gareth's journey in the book involves finding a family for the first time and taking on the mantle of responsibility despite growing up as a loner, whereas Joss's journey involves realizing that he can love and care for his family and call them out when they're wrong, and find things that belong to him and him alone. He's so very lovable.

Also, he was DEBAUCHED!!! By a pirate--I'm sorry, a PRIVATEER. How can I not love a guy who is like "well, he fucked me six ways from Sunday, so I guess he did debauch me". Joss I love your work.

--Speaking of families, there is so much good family drama in this book. You have Gareth's whole thing, as he slowly builds connections with his sister (who he never met before their father's death) and... his sister's aunt? Who became his father's mistress after Gareth's stepmother died? That was a character I truly loved. Gareth just needed a mom, y'all! Much of Gareth's issues involve struggling with understanding who his father was, and damn, if that doesn't resonate.

Joss's family issues were uh... more complicated, even. But the diversity of characters makes it feel all the more real. Good people fuck up. Bad people have human weaknesses. Everyone was delightfully fleshed out.

--I loved the world of the Marsh. There's a lot of like, descriptions of of flora and fauna (Gareth loves bugs, y'all) and the culture of this little community that's kind of heavily dependent on organized crime and layers of generation-crossing dynamics? It's remarkably rich, and not the type of atmosphere you see a lot of in historical romance right now. The layers of it all made it feel very real to me.

--This book had some of the loveliest loved confessions I've ever read--and at the same time, some of the messiest relationship dynamics, in the best possible way. We open on Joss and Gareth's last anonymous hookup, after which both assume they'll never see each other again, and once they do... There's a lot of bitter exes energy, which I'm personally very partial. That sniping, that tit for tat, that "well I NEVER" while they both desperately wanna fuck. It's Good Shit.

--As a heads up, there is period-accurate homophobia in this book (not a ton--both Joss and Gareth do have supportive relatives, but they also have not so supportive relatives). Joss and Gareth both fear being outed, that is a very real threat throughout. I don't think it's excessive; nor does it read like self-loathing from either man.

The Sex Stuff:

Hot. But also funny? But also hot. Again, we start out the gate with explicit sex, and there are several more instances of it. There are interesting conversations about the dynamics of their sex life, too--who's "in charge", who should be in top, what does it mean, does it mean anything? Joss likes to see Gareth naked while he's clothed, which is something I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING LOVED. In many ways, this book is a great example of how sex can be character and sex can be plot. There were a couple of sex scenes in this book that don't really tie to story, but they do reveal things about Joss and Gareth and simply their relationship--I actually went back to listen to the first chapter again after the book was over, just to get that sense of Gareth and Joss's initial connection, shallow as it was, again--contrasting to their final sex scene.

But also, "FUCK ME LIKE YOUR PIRATE" and Joss joking about having Gareth's legs around his shoulders.... hot sex can also be funny sex, thank you K.J. Charles.

I'm super happy to see that there will be another Doomsday book--I loved the characters, and I loved this world. I want more.

Thank you to Netgalley and Dreamscape Media for providing me with a copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

[colgatebluemintygel]

i love that you included video games in your literary rec and i would love to know what other games you recommend??? what are your favs??? <3

froggie if there is one person on this earth fighting for video games to be considered as valid literary objects it is me <333 without further ado:

disco elysium - The Game of all time. i could write a thesis on it! two. three!

hades - you can reuinite ******** and ********* !!!!!!!!!!!! masterclass in balancing story, character, and gameplay. POLYAMORY !!!!!!!!!!!!

last of us part 2 - hhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. shook me to the absolute core.....................

umurangi generation - v powerful metaphors for colonisation, made by a māori developer so you just Know i was losing my mind the entire time

stardew valley - needs no introduction <3 my forevergirl

the sims - we r in a toxic relationship and have been since i was 7. i say i hate you and slam the door in the sims' face and proceed to talk shit about it, and then 6 months later i'm back and we have a 3 day affair, and then i toss it to the side again xx rinse n repeat

the outer wilds - space anthropologist simulator. so surprisingly philosophical. genuine masterpiece.

night in the woods - HhhhhhhhhhHHHHHH. the score! the visuals! the story! i played it just after i dropped out of art school and moved home, so it hit extra hard. perfect balance of darkness and whimsy that i lavvvvvv. generally i will enjoy anything set in the rust belt (lookin @ u kentucky route zero). haunting! and mystery! which, in the end, feed into a very human story. (mae also feels v sirius coded to me)

assassin's creed odyssey - i'm being so serious. the writing is so terrible in places (the whole prologue had me internally screaming and not in a good way) but i want to fuck kassandra so much that it makes me silly

life is strange - extremely formative in my queer awakening (i was obsessed with trying to romance victoria)

the witcher 3 - i almost didn't include this because my feelings for this game have shifted quite significantly over the years and, these days, i have kind of mixed feelings towards it. but it is an old favourite and i would feel remiss not to include it. i still LOVE the folklore elements and ciri is my forevergirl <3333

also, shout out 2 bloodborne which i am too weak to play myself. the aesthetics and story and mythos tho........ ghhh. not unlike crack to me

[beautyofsorrow]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @ceruleanphoenix7. tagging @zannolin (u can skip the stats questions <3)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

91 visible to the public, which will go up to 92 in a couple weeks. 100 counting the ones i've perm-anoned

2. What's your total A03 word count?

317,174

3. What fandoms do you write for?

various star treks, some original work, and a lone yellowjackets and murderbot diaries fic each. plus some fringe, tho most of those have been perm-anoned

oh yeah and a barbie fairytopia: mermaidia fic that i wrote for a forthcoming zine. y'all aren't ready for that one

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

lol. seeds of order, how shall i touch you unless it is everywhere?, what i have shaped into a kind of life, do you love the colour of the sky?, and bruised hips and salt-stained cheeks

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

if i have something to say, yes. i like it when readers really engage with what's on the page, because so often i have loads of meta or research or lore-building or background info that never made it into the fic but which i'm really excited about and enjoy info-dumping. comments that invite that kind of response are my favorite. i also really like it when they tell me how they felt reading it, or -- if the fic mentions a book -- that they went and read that book. i LOVE that shit and will talk books with people for days.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

discounting all my high school fic, which thankfully is no longer accessible to the public, we do what we do in the dark. love a good fucked up seven/jay fic

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

they pretty much all end happily? but the "happy" that feels most "me" is the end of the way old friends do, where seven leaves to go heal from bjayzl and icheb in her own way, alone, and tom and b'elanna send her off with the assurance they're there when she needs them. that felt very happy and healthy and aromantic to write. and aromantic endings are extremely important to me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have been vagued about, sure. a few flames back in the day

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes <3 femslash, always. it's pretty much just friends with benefits and/or angsty alterously attracted grief!sex now. no more romance for me <3 feels good feels organic

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i write trek crossovers all the time. i'd say my jadzia/raffi fic was pretty gutsy. as was pioneering the b'elanna torres/ro laren/kira nerys tag with a 3k post-canon oneshot on religious doubt and belief.

the weirdest like, true crossover (and only true crossover) i've written was a star trek: voyager/murderbot diaries fusion that i wrote in order to be matchable in a gift exchange. stupidly fun. i did not expect anyone to read that fic but people really really liked it, and i am so thankful for all the kind commenters, because that fic held a lot of personally important elements to me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nottt that i know of, and i don't go looking, because that's just a lot of work i don't need in my life

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't think so

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah, i think about 3 times?

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

b'elanna/seven

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

probably the b7 griddlehark au i'm APPARENTLY writing now. it takes two 500+ page books as inspiration. yes. it's a multichap. i swore them off. i know.

16. What are your writing strengths?

oneshots, nailing the character voices (or knowing when i didn't), pretty sentences, rhythm, lore, sensory details, queering the narrative, smut

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

finishing shit. also plot. who the hell has the attention span for plot? not me [stares in despair at WIPs]

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i'm monolingual, so i don't

19. First fandom you wrote for?

lord of the rings

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

probably come on and prove it. i reread it weekly. no one wants to admit they like it on main but i see ur private bookmark count and your 50% guest kudos rate lol. i knocked it out of the park with that one.

honorable mention to of warm limbs hooking your heart to the world and it's not the weight you carry but how you carry it. my beloveds.

[hoskinsvarietyshow]

Was the Scholomance series by Naomi Novik a story about romance. No not at all. It’s entirely a book about making friends later in life.

Was it YA. Only an idiot would really consider it anything but a satire of Wizard Schools. It’s very explicitly a pastiche of Wizard School Bullshit but mostly about how boarding school is prison. Having young characters does not make a book YA. The moving goalposts of what counts as YA is hilariously stupid. Because rather than being a teen book genre that a 15 year old can read, people who grew up with the genre want Ya to encompass anyone below 35. So now your niece has a real risk of reading some weird smutty book with a suicide attempt and an attempted graping that should be in the general fiction section but it’s got a pop art cover and features a pathetic 25 year old woman as the lead so it’s gotta be YA, right guys?? We’re young and hip. It’s the children who should get over it.

Was it a character piece about how sex and relationships are mutually inclusive? No, obviously not. It’s a book with a plot. Either you’ve made a character piece or you have a plot. Character development happens in a book with a plot. Character pieces are about showing a brief slice of someone’s life. If you try to both you do neither any justice and make a badly paced mess.

Was it necessary to add two different scenes about our main lead fucking some annoying social climber with no actual humanizing character moments. No. Even the main character notes how icky it is the way this character uses sex and relationships to get her more social capital to abuse down the line. Frankly I think it’s only there for two reasons: Get a character with more than 4 lines a book to do something gay on screen. And blah blah blah kids fuck around and aren’t restricted to traditional relationship norms. Unfortunately she picked a disposable character no one has any strong feelings for other than dislike so there isn’t a lingering feeling of “Who will she pick???” after the book ends without giving any relationships a label. Frankly it’s really contrived padding. This probably should have been a duology or whatever the stupid word for a book with just a sequel is. Only in books is a sequel considered required reading.

Was the protagonist Ace Coded? Yeah. And I was pretty chill with the platonic relationship they had building with The Chosen One. And then they had raw sex in the gym in book two. I could deal with that. Sometimes as a gray ace person you decide raw sex in a gymnasium is what the moment calls for. But then she fucks this annoying bitch who spends the entire second book being annoying and unlikeable.No way there can be a moment between these two characters. But wait!! You, dear reader, forget one way that can happen! If the writer contrives to force it in for no fucking reason. It’s not even a good sex scene. Frankly it’s inclusion seems to imply sex is the only way to receive inner peace when a long scream and a good cry does the same thing without being covered in some annoying bitches fluids.  And then The Chosen One shows up again and she fucks this annoying bitch again? After having raw sex in the woods the day before? So it’s obviously not ace coding. People just have to have sex as often as they can in the author’s world view. And I think that’s what this rant is about.

The author abandons ace coding for some rather hamfisted allosexual queer kudos. Like. It’s maybe a four paragraphs of actual sapphic sex. It’s very forced. Not at all organic because the other bitch does a really like... gross implication that it’s Fuck Time Now. And she does it and feels great but in a weird clinical way as annoying lass goes down a list of gay shit girls can do to each other. I’m really annoyed that it fumbles the bag on good platonic romance. Throws all of that out the window for Moment Of Weakness That Just Becomes A Thing We Do Now Because We Won’t Call It Cheating But It Probably Is With How Much Justifying She Has To Do.

She fucks the first annoying bitch who shows up at her yurt. It wasn’t even a good setup.  I  could keep rambling. The point is there was a really good chance at our MC being Ace but she was in fact and incel because no one would talk to her enough to want to fuck her. Which is just a really annoying line of subtext to have to read in a story you liked. 

Shoulda been two books. Books 2 and 3 were full of padding and filler. The training sequence and the Not Cheating were annoying and worthless. They shoulda cut to the evil mom stuff and just come out with the monster stuff. Add 75 pages to each book and you woulda been fine.

[musclesandhammering]

Every Single Issue I Have With S*lki (It’s Not Just The Selfcest)

Here goes. I threatened to post this a few days ago and never did, but I just saw a s*lki stan Twitter account claim that Loki caring about Sylvie more than the whole multiverse was a Good And Romantic thing and it pushed me over the fucking edge, so now you all have to read this. I’ve divided it into categories cause there’s just THAT much.

OOC Bullshit

• First and foremost, no amount of mental gymnastics you do will ever make me believe that this specific Loki- the one that just invaded New York, that just came off a year of Thanos Torture, that just got done being influenced by the sceptre, that was literally in the middle of a crisis already, and then on top of that went through all the trauma of Ep 1- would even be worried about a romantic relationship. That would be the furthest thing from his mind. Go back and watch how he acted in Avengers- you think that guy would abandon his previous mission to become a snivelling simp for a girl he’d just met 3 days prior? Yeah, there’s no universe in which that makes sense.

• “It’s very in character for Loki to fall in love with himself lololol-“ NO, it’s literally not. Out of all the characters in the mcu, I don’t think I can think of anyone that genuinely hates themselves more than Loki. He even referred to all his other male variants as “monsters” and said meeting them was “a nightmare” in this series. He’s got so much self-loathing, plus the fact that he genuinely thinks himself to be an evil backstabbing scourge- so there’s no evidence at all suggesting that he would ever develop a fondness for, or even be inclined to trust, another version of himself, after only knowing them for 3 days.

• Building on that, the whole concept of Loki falling in love with a version of himself just feeds into the annoying ass misconception that he’s a narcissist. No matter which way you stack it, he’s not. If you’re referring to NPD, he doesn’t fit the criteria, and if you’re saying “narcissist” just as a slang term meaning “selfish and arrogant”, that still doesn’t accurately describe him. But when creators like Waldron and Herron do things like having him fall in love with himself, it makes it so much easier for casual viewers to think that he is.

Shitty LGBT Rep

• It’s kinda sus that Loki’s are allegedly genderfluid and yet the only female-presenting variant we see (and apparently the only female-presenting variant there is, cause the male Loki’s all seemed unfamiliar with the concept) is treated as some kind of mind-bogglingly special paradox. Also very sus that, out of all the Loki variants, the one our Loki falls in love with just so happens to be the only female one. What a coincidence.

• The fact that the creators of the show went around bragging about Loki’s bisexuality and Marvel purposefully (lbr) allowed stories about Loki possibly having a male love interest to circulate, specifically enticing queer viewers to watch the show (you know, the definition of queerbaiting), and then instead of having a male love interest (Loki was the first queer main character, so it was the perfect opportunity) they gave us *gestures to this dumpster fire* this… it’s just a middle finger to LGBT fans. The fact that they would rather have this relationship with all its myriad of problems than have a gay relationship is just……. Very telling.

• While him being with a woman obviously doesn’t refute his bisexuality, the fact that they showed/talked about him being interested in 3 different women (flight attendant, Sylvie, Sif) and never even hinted at him being attracted to a man, definitely makes it seem like they were trying to cover up his bisexuality to smooth things over with the more homophobic viewers. You know? It’s like “I know you’re pissed that we sorta confirmed Loki as bi, so we promise we’ll never mention it again! Or even hint at it! As a matter of fact, we’ll give him lots of female lovies and make him seem as straight as possible! That’ll take your mind off of that horrible crumb of queer rep, right? Please please please keep giving us your money!!!”

• Aside from all the other issues, at its core, the biggest reason why I think I’m so irritated with s*lki is that it took one of the most interesting, complex, and diverse characters in cinema atm and squished him into a tired ass unnecessary heteronormative subplot…. Like literally every. single. other. protagonist. ever. Loki is such a unique character, and it’s so so so incredibly disappointing that they stuck him into that same boring cookie cutter romance that happens to every other character in every other movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a disservice, and it’s honestly just not compelling or entertaining at all.

Thematic Issues Galore

• His arc didn’t need a romance. With anyone. It was unnecessary and it didn’t make sense plot-wise. In fact, one of the reasons he was my fav prior to this was because he was the only big-name mcu character whose story wasn’t muddied-up by a romance that didn’t need to be there. So much for that.

• He wasn’t emotionally ready for a romantic relationship with anyone. Hell, just a genuine friendship would’ve been pushing it for him at this point. He was in such a bad state that any relationship he got into would’ve been toxic and unhealthy for both him and the other person, and it doesn’t make sense why the writers would want to put him in one when there were so many cons and essentially no pros (other than “Uwu aren’t they cute together”).

• Sylvie’s character in general was unnecessary and Loki’s character was robbed just by her being there. The whole show became about her post-Ep 2. They spent most of the time giving her backstory, building her up, telling us how awesome she is, trying to convince us to like her, etc when what they really needed to be doing was building Loki up- cause I gotta say, if I had to describe TVA!Loki in a few words, they would be Flat, Boring, and Weak.

• The romance overtakes the plot. They spend time portraying their supposed connection that could’ve been spent adding depth and complexity to literally any of the characters. They make the big Nexus Event them giving each other googly eyes on Lamentis when it could’ve been so many other way more profound things that speak to the fundamental nature of Loki’s. They have the climax of the finale be “oh no she betrayed him to kill He Who Remains” when it could’ve been something way more compelling (Loki having a moral crisis over whether or not to kill HWR, Loki contemplating the state of the multiverse and weighing the pros and cons of freedom vs order, Loki looking into some What If situations and getting emotional about what could’ve been regarding his family, Loki realising the gravity of HWR’s offer and finally coming to terms with how important he is to the universal cycle, etc etc). The entire plot suffered in favour of a romance that half of us didn’t even want.

• It essentially reduced all of Loki’s potential character growth down to “He did it for his crush.” He seemed to at least have some motivations of his own in Ep 1-2 (feeble as they were) but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, literally every action he took was just him being a simp for her. Why did he lie in the interrogation? To try to protect Sylvie. Why did he fight the minutemen and Timekeepers? To survive kinda, but mostly cause it was important to Sylvie. Why did he get pruned? Cause he got distracted trying to confess his crush to Sylvie. Why did he try to get out of The Void? Cause he thought Sylvie needed him. Why did he stay in The Void? Cause Sylvie was staying. Why did he try to enchant Alioth? Cause Sylvie told him to. Why did the multiverse get cracked open, leading to an infinite number of Kangs waging war on all of existence? Cause Loki didn’t wanna hurt Sylvie in their fight at the Citadel and then get distracted by her kissing him. It’s uninteresting and honestly pretty embarrassing.

• Throughout their “relationship arc” the writers do their absolute damndest to convince us that we should like Sylvie more than Loki. And you know what? It’s the most hypocritical shit I’ve ever seen. They preach and preach about how Sylvie’s life has been so difficult/we should feel bad for her/she had it so bad/poor poor sylvie/she had it SO much worse than pampered prince Loki…. But then they never even touch on any of Loki’s trauma of hardships (the ones that have been ignored for literally 3 movies now). They frame Sylvie as a good person and a Freedom Fighter after she spent literal decades/centuries mass-murdering brainwashed TVA agents and showing exactly zero remorse for it….. but then they make it their mission to constantly remind us that Loki is a terrible person and constantly put him in situations where he’s forced to acknowledge his wrongdoings/show remorse/admit to how “evil” he is for being a mass murderer for like 2 years. They show him on-screen having a wider range of powers than her, and perpetuate his whole shtick of being a “master manipulator” or whatever….. But then they make Sylvie “the brawn” more competent, intelligent, and physically capable than him. Tell me how it’s a good thing for a ship to be so narratively biased toward one character.

Missed Opportunities

• If they absolutely had to have a romance subplot, then they could’ve paired Loki with one of the characters that have already been established OR one of the characters that were a big part of the whole TVA storyline anyway. It would’ve been so interesting if they’d revealed that Loki had a history with some of the players from previous films (Sif and Fandral both come to mind). It also would’ve been really interesting if they’d given Loki a love interest that actually had some allegiance to the TVA as a whole (Mobius maybe, but not necessarily. It also could’ve been Renslayer or B-15). Hell, imo it would’ve been cool if they’d followed through with that “See you again someday” line that he said to the flight attendant in Ep 1. ALL of these characters have way more chemistry with him than Sylvie, and they were also already relevant to the plot without wasting half the show to give background info on them.

• If they absolutely had to have a hetero-presenting love story involving an enchantress-type figure, then there’s a whole Enchantress (Amora) that was actually Loki’s love interest in the comics. Plus, fans have been screaming for Amora to appear in the mcu for years. Plus, Tom literally pitched an Amora/Loki storyline way back in 2012-13. Also, Lorelei (another enchantress) is also one of Loki’s love interests in the comics, and she already exists in the mcu (she was on Agents of SHIELD). There were several different established characters for them to choose from. Creating a whole knew amalgamation of a character and going with the “she’s a Loki variant” storyline was just completely unnecessary and made no sense.

• They completely robbed us of a Chaos Twins dynamic. Had they handled Sylvie better and not forced her and Loki to smooch, the two of them could’ve had a really really complex and interesting sibling relationship. Loki could’ve stepped into Thor’s shoes and sort of used that new role to gain some self importance, and Sylvie could’ve finally had somebody to look out for her/teach her magic/be there for her. It would’ve been very aesthetically pleasing, the vibes would’ve been out of this world, it would’ve been way more profound than this bs, and frankly it would’ve been much more entertaining to watch.

• Loki’s relationship (read: obsession) with Sylvie completely overshadows all Loki’s other relationships in the show. Loki and Mobius were literally the focal point of the series in Ep 1-2, but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, they barely had any interactions with each other, and Mobius pretty much faded to the background entirely. Loki had the beginnings of a pretty interesting antagonistic relationship with Renslayer (with her wanting him pruned, then arguing with Mobius that he couldn’t be trusted), but after Sylvie showed up the dynamic shifted to focus on the history between her and Ravonna. Loki and B-15 started off very badly and openly disliked each other throughout Ep 1-2, and then in the end of Ep 2, Loki showed a little bit of concern for her when she was possessed, hinting that they might be inching toward a reconciliation- especially considering how obvious it was that Loki was gonna uncover the TVA’s sins eventually. There was so much potential for him to be the one to give her her memories back and convince her to change sides, but no, of course that honor went to Sylvie. In fact, after Sylvie showed up, Loki and B-15 never even spoke to each other again.

Various S*lki Fails

• If they were trying to convince us that this affection was mutual, they completely failed. There’s nothing I’ve seen that even hints at Sylvie feeling the same way about Loki that he does about her. At most, I’d say she has a slight endearment to him. She finds him likeable and she’s grudgingly fond of him, but she definitely isn’t in love with the guy. Maybe she thinks he’s cute and hopes that he gets out of this mess alright, but her mission obviously comes before him- whereas, it’s been confirmed multiple times that Loki cares about her above anything else. She doesn’t trust him, she looks at him like he’s an incompetent fool half the time, she shows little to no reaction during most of his confession moments, and she kissed him as a means to distract him so that she could get him out of her way. Look, all I’m saying is, when you get into a relationship where one of you is way more invested than the other, it never ends well.

• This goes without saying for a lot of us, but the selfcest is just straight up odd and cringey. If you’re cool with that sort of thing, fine! People can ship what they want! But don’t pretend it’s not at least a little bit uncomfortable. Yes, I know they’re not technically siblings so it’s not technically incest, and they’re also not technically the exact same person, but they’re similar enough that it makes things weird. And yes I know selfcest can’t happen in real life, so there’s no way to judge it morally, but neither can most of the other stuff that happens in these shows/movies (the Snap, Loki destroying jotunheim, superhero with powers being held accountable, mind control) and yet we still find ways to judge their morality, because they all mirror real-world events. (The snap= genocide; Loki destroying Jotunheim= bombing other countries; superhero accountability= weapons accountability; mind control= grooming and coercion). And lbr the closest real-world mirror to two versions of the same person (who may or may not share DNA, family, backgrounds, physical and emotion characteristics) being romantically involved with one another is incest. And you can be ok with that if you want- that’s your prerogative- but don’t get pissy just cause a lot of us are squicked out by it.

• The whole mirror metaphor (learning self love via each other) thing just fell completely flat. First of all, having Loki learn to love himself by looking at someone who mirrors him did not, in any way shape or form, require them to be romantically involved. But they were. Of course. Secondly, the creators have contradicted themselves so many times on whether Loki and Sylvie are the same or not, that it doesn’t even really register to the viewer that the mirroring thing was what they were going for. Finally, Loki and Sylvie are shown to have so little in common- and to have only the most bare minimum of similarities personality-wise- that it doesn’t even make sense that Loki would “learn to love himself through loving her”. Like? They’re nothing alike. So how would he make the connection that he himself is actually pretty cool, based on her alone? There’s virtually nothing in her that reflects him.

• I know the objective of the entire show was to convince us of how awesome and unique Sylvie is, but honestly her relationship with Loki just did the opposite. A hallmark of a Mary Sue is having her constantly upstage the male lead, and then having him instantly fall madly in love with her anyway. And that’s.. exactly what happened here. Everything they’re doing to try to force her character to be more stan-able is really just forcing her to look more like their self-insert OC. Which is exactly what she is. It would’ve been so much more satisfying if she didn’t have to try so hard to look cool, if they didn’t have to try so hard to make her backstory tear-inducing, if they didn’t have to turn our protagonist into a snivelling simp just to prove how incredible she supposedly is. Very much #GirlBoss energy and we all know how performative and cheap that is.

• The entire thing was too rushed, there was too little build-up, and it was nowhere near believable. As stated above, it’s ridiculously unlikely that Loki would canonically even be interested in Sylvie, and this show did nothing to explain why he was. He just suddenly was. There was nothing they showed us as viewers that would justify a guy as closed-off and preoccupied as Loki falling head-over-heels for a girl he just met. Their was no explanation, no big revelation, no reasoning, it just… kinda happened. And I’m also severely skeptical of any love story that has the characters go in this deep after only 3 45-minute episodes of exposition.

I’m sure there’s other stuff, so if anyone thinks of anything, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to add it. Tagging @janetsnakehole02 @raifenlf @natures-marvel and @brightredsunset800 for expressing interest. This is all your faults.

[casmybelovedass]

I don't even ship Will and Mike but it still very much bothered me how they treated Will. God fucking damn it. That shit hurt.

The OVER used gay-in-love-with-straight-bff trope WHY. WHY AGAIN. It was so fucking painfully awkward to watch.

Mike is like COMPLETELY blinded by the pussy and I can't even believe I'm saying this

Dude. Fuck you. "My life began when I met you" FUCK. YOU. With your best friend since childhood right there at your side. Fuck you.

I will NEVER understand how some people completely ditch their friends when they get in a relationship. I fucking hate that trope. I hate it. And to show it AGAIN in a queer setting is even worse. Because they used the pain of a queer person to further the weak ass main straight romance.

Honestly? I don't even give a shit about Mike and El. I don't. Why can't they have just one big friend group? Why did they have to be in a relationship?

This reeks of "I don't know what love is so I assumed my feeling of friendship for you were it"

I am even enjoying STEVE AND NANCY MORE what the actual fuck. No one beats Joyce and Hopper for me but still THEY AIN'T THE MAIN COUPLE

This happens over and over again. They center everything around two characters, have them be the main couple, and that's it. They don't give us anything else. Some angst every now and then to "spice things up" and it's done. And, who knows why, it's mainly with straight couples that this happens. Hero boy. Hero girl. Be together. End.

I fucking hate it.

Good morning

[rigginsstreet]

Tell me more abt the au where fredsythe are college friends with benefits but fred is pining 🤧

Ok so I don’t see them starting off as friends. It’s more like they keep seeing each other around the dorms and Fred can’t get a good enough read on whether or not FPs into dudes so he never makes a move. And fp of course isn’t gonna do anything publicly either so they just keep passing each other by. Until maybe one night there’s a party and FPs drunk enough to lead Fred off to a room and fuck his brains out 😂 (I imagine Fred being more visibly queer in this au like he’s definitely got rainbow patches and shit on his jackets and is on campus handing out fliers to rallies etc etc so FPs known basically from the get go freds gay or at the very least won’t kick his ass if he misread some signals)

So anyway they hook up at a party but as soon as it’s over FPs pulling his jeans back up and leaving before Fred even knows what’s hit him and by the time Fred gets his shit together FPs long gone like not even at the party anymore and that’s that

And maybe a few days or a week go by where they’re still running into each other around campus but fp doesn’t even any hint that he remembers anything happening between the two of them which kinda bums Fred out. Like Fred wasn’t expecting some fairytale romance out of this but the least fp could do is say hi when they pass each other in the hall…

Then another party comes and FPs seeking him out again and Fred’s drunk and horny enough to go along and not ask any questions. Rinse and repeat of the first night. And things kinda keep on going like that until fp starts showing up to Fred’s room relatively sober (maybe a little stoned) and they start hooking up there. And fp still never sticks around after and he has this rule about not kissing and Fred’s putting up with a lot but the sex is incredible and he’s got a weakness for bad boys with dark eyes and curly hair what else is he supposed to do…

But maybe one night Fred gets a little bold while FPs gearing to leave and asks him what his deal is, why he’s always in a rush. And fp gives him speech about not getting attached and keeping things strictly physical blah blah and he’s like “if that’s gonna be a problem for you then I’ll stop coming over” and Fred’s like nooo don’t do that you’re so sexyyyy lmfao

BUT if fp starts catching feelings a little bit and surprises Fred one day in the dining hall by sitting down with him for lunch like this is something they do all the time and Fred’s gotta bite his lip to keep from exploding from happiness… that’s their business

So fp starts letting himself actually hang out with Fred in small doses and maybe they even have nights hanging out in each other’s rooms that ARENT strictly about sex (they’ll start off by watching a movie or some big game that’s on but by the end of it they’re always in some stage of undress they cannot help this)

And fp never really talks about himself. It’s like pulling teeth to get him to talk about anything real or his interests and Fred’s just gotta pay extra attention to pick things up for himself.

And Fred doesn’t know it but fp stops hooking up with other people eventually because despite himself he’s gotten attached to Fred and has a one track mind for the guy now and it’s really fucking his shit up because he’s not even supposed to be gay. Like sure he let himself indulge in sex but things were never supposed to progress past that with any of the guys he’s been with and somehow there goes Fred worming his way in

Meanwhile Fred’s like head over heels already, wants a June wedding, doodling hearts in class the whole nine yards but he knows FPs not about that so he’s gotta keep it all locked up tight when they’re together 🥺

But he will break down FPs walls and they will be boyfriends dammit! It’s just gonna take like a lot of effort and patience on Fred’s end and definitely one big fight and fp coming back groveling

[graphicabyss]

XVII-XVIII Century Royal Queer History

Unexpectedly to myself, I got really engaged in history of Europe of XVI-XVII centuries. I never really had much interest in kings and queens and didn't know much about them but once I began to read and learn about their personal lives, I got kinda hooked. Also, I was struck by how many of them were queer and I began to write down my findings, which inevitably turned into a freaking study. I thought I might as well post it.

I'm gonna start with King James I of England who ruled in XVII century. Now there are several tumblr posts about this queer legend. Some historians think he was weak and unremarkable but he survived several assassination attempts, kept his power over 3 countries and lived to old age, which is pretty remarkable on its own. He also kept all the religious leaders at bay and commissioned the world's most famous Bible, which is still owned by most Christians 400 years later. He was also the one who created the modern wedding ritual. You know, church, vows, rings, that stuff. He avoided wars and was a patron of the arts, even wrote some books, including one about demons, werewolves and vampires. What a nerd. He was very different from Elizabeth who preceded him, so one contemporary epigram stated "Elizabeth was King, now James is Queen". Oh, also he was very gay. Or, at least, as gay as a king can get. His relationships with his male courtiers were notorious. He had several favourites who had way too much influence over him and his court really hated it.

He needs to have a movie made about him, seriously. I found only one semi-documentary film and it was The King James Bible: The Book That Changed The World (2011). While I liked the film and King James was hot, sassy and very cool, it was disappointing he was shown as perfectly straight. They could just avoid his personal life altogether, but instead they chose to show him being a perfect husband. While it is true that he was nice to his bride, by the time he met her he had a 10-year old relationship with a man 24 years his senior (since he was 14). I'm just gonna use this screenshot from the movie instead of a painting because it's too good.

Perhaps the most notorious of his alleged lovers was George Villiers, 1st Duke of Buckingham. Starting out as a son of a minor gentleman, the 21-year old lad caught the eye of King James I and quickly became his favourite teasing him by dancing in intricate performances called masques. He made a brilliant career becoming a knight, an earl, a Marquess, and finally a duke - a title normally being reserved for members of the royal family - within just 9 years. Can you blame him though? I mean, look at that stud.

Btw, James’ pet name for Buckingham was ‘Steenie’, derived from St. Stephen who reportedly had the face of an angel.

The name Buckingham seemed oddly familiar to me but it took some time before I realized he was one of the characters in Dumas's "The Three Musketeers". Now I am someone who grew up on old pure Three Musketeers movies so when I started learning about the real historical figures involved in it it gave me a slight shock as the truth is way more weird and sinister that fiction.

The storyline I remember the most was the one where Anne of Austria, the queen of France, got in trouble with her husband Louis XIII because of her affair with Duke of Buckingham. Of course, Duke of Buckingham was never the Queen's lover, he was the King's. What's more, some historians assume Louis XIII was also queer. There is no evidence that Louis kept mistresses, but he had very intimate relationships with his favourites. He has even been described as “repelled by female contact”. There's also the issue of him struggling to have an heir. His wife had 4 pregnancies that were unsuccessful but that seemed like too few for a king who needed to secure his dynasty. After 23 years of trying, the king and queen were finally able to produce a son and another soon followed, the older son to become Louis XIV, and the younger, Philippe, to be known as Duke of Orleans.

Anne was quite the character for a dramatic story too. After Louis's death she became the Regent and made sure to clear the way for her son Louis. To ensure that Louis's younger brother will not try to usurp the power from him as it was with Louis XIII 's brother, Anne of Austria conducted an early and very wicked gender development experiment. She and her adviser, Cardinal Mazarin, set up a plan to raise the two boys very differently. Queen Anne called Philippe by such nicknames as "my little girl" and encouraged him to dress in feminine clothing, which he sometimes did even as an adult.

I'm just gonna use this quote because this shit is real: The queen and Mazarin discouraged the duc d'Anjou [Philippe] from traditional manly pursuits such as arms and politics, and encouraged him to wear dresses, makeup, and to enjoy feminine behaviour. His inclination toward homosexuality was not discouraged, with the hope of reducing any threat he may have posed to his older brother. Reportedly, Cardinal Mazarin even commanded his nephew, Philippe, to de-flower the king's younger brother.

Well, fuck. The joke's on them though, as Philippe grew up to be a fashion icon AND a fierce warrior. He participated in many battles and was immensely praised for his bravery and valour. In 1677, he led the French forces at the Battle of Cassel against William III of Orange of the Netherlands. Yes, that guy who later gently invaded England and took the throne. By the way, there are some allegations that he was also gay. Anyway, Philippe was so badass in battle that people glorified him as a hero and it made his stallion of a brother so jealous he sent him back and never allowed him on the battlefield again. Louis XIV continued his mother's effort in encouraging his brother's effeminate behaviour and putting up with his homosexual relationships, all the while waging a war of homosexuality in France. I mean, gotta preserve the traditional values, such as fucking 12 mistresses who were often married. There were even rumours Louis fucked Philippe's wife. I guess he was trying to make up for his father, brother, son, and uncle, César de Vendôme. Meanwhile, Philippe gave no fucks. He had a number of favourites and didn't even try to hide his sexuality. In fact, it is said that every time Louis pissed him off, Philippe did something extra gay and in his face. Fierce.

One guy I have to mention is Armand, the Comte de Guiche, who was said to be handsome, vain, and manipulative. Armand was Philippe’s lover, but he is widely thought to have been his wife Henrietta’s lover as well. That apparently wasn’t enough for the guy, because in 1665 he also tried to romance Louise de La Valliere, who was Louis’ chief mistress at the time. Louis exiled him in 1662 for plotting with Henrietta to break up Louis and Louise. What a glorious fucker.

But the love of Philippe's life was Chevalier de Lorraine who was basically a prince of a realm outside France. He's usually called 'Chevallier' but his name was also Philippe. He also had an older brother named Louis. Seriously, couldn't they try a little harder with the names? Anyway, when they met Philippe was 18 and Chevalier 15 and sparks flew. He was described as being “as beautiful as an angel” and was more than ready to use what his mama gave him. He was smart and very manipulative and Philippe showered him with gifts all his life, much to the chagrin of his two wives whose money and estates he often gave away.

He moved to Palais-Royal, the same palace as Philippe and his wife Henriette. Very convenient. Philippe's marriage got kinda crowded. Chevalier got so arrogant, he actually told Philippe's wife she needs his permission to sleep with him and that he could get him to divorce her. She complained to the king and he got Chevalier imprisoned and exiled. However, not for long as Philippe pleaded the king to pardon him and eventually succeeded. Henriette did not get much relief apparently as she wrote: “I see from the ashes of Monsieur’s love for the Chevalier, as from the dragon’s teeth, a whole brood of fresh favourites are likely to spring up to vex me.” Of course, Chevalier also managed to enrich himself immensely by getting Philippe and the king to give him and his family tons of perks, such as make him the titular Abbot of four abbeys, which payed handsomely.

Henriette died very suddenly claiming she was poisoned. The doctors found no evidence of that, but there were still rumours that Chevalier was to blame. Philippe had to find another wife, even if he wasn't happy about it. Chevalier stuck around. He was exiled a second time after he apparently seduced the king's son (more on that later) but was able to return again. Their relationship lasted for 40 years, until Philippe's death.

There was a recent TV show called Versailles that depicts Louis XIV’s reign and it has a fairly accurate though romanticized portrayal of Philippe and Chevalier's relationship. Too bad the show is way too violent for me to watch. They look stunning in it~

Anyway, such relationships were far from rare. In fact, apparently there were the so-called confréries (“fraternities”), which were basically gay brotherhoods whose members hung out together and set up orgies. One elite brotherhood was founded between 1680 and 1682. Apart from Chevalier, it included the king Louis XIV's cousin Prince of Conti who was once proclaimed the King of Poland, and Louis's illegitimate son, the comte de Vermandois. The latter was 15 in 1682 when at the court of his uncle Philippe, he met the Chevalier de Lorraine and his sect and apparently got very personally acquainted with Chevalier's younger brother and nephew. When the king learned about it, the group was forcibly dissolved and Vermandois was beaten before the king, exiled from court, and forced into marriage. Another such group was within the highest ranks of nobility at the court of Philippe II, Duke of Orléans, the son of Philippe and the regent at the time when Louis XV was young. They really didn't bother with names, huh? Anyway, they got involved in a number of scandals, in one of which that happened in 1722 a group of 17 noble men gathered in the palace gardens to fuck. The Regent didn't seem very bothered and even seemed to find it amusing.

The Regent, who did not stop smiling, was satisfied that it was necessary to give the nobles a harsh reprimand and tell them that they do not have the best taste [goût] in the world.

Dad would be proud.

There were also some (presumably) queer queens, like Queen Anne of England. Now you might have seen the movie The Favourite but it's heavily satirized and Anne wasn't really childlike and helpless. Actually, this image was created by Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough, after she was expelled by Anne, and stuck. However, the rivalry between the old and new favourites was very real.

Anne met Sarah when she was just 8. Sarah was beautiful, charming and very persuasive. When Anne became the queen, she made Sarah Churchill her Mistress of the Robes (the highest office in the royal court that could be held by a woman) and gave her a bunch of other really cool titles. She also made her husband, John Churchill, a duke. Thus Sarah became the most powerful person in England after the queen and the queen always listened to her advice. However, as years went by, Sarah became increasingly pushy and insensitive, using the queen to get what she wanted.

Sarah looking fab~

Then comes Abigail Masham, Sarah's impoverished cousin. Abigail was soft, caring and considerate, exactly what the queen needed. Sarah tried to get rid of her but it only angered the queen further and she eventually dismissed Sarah and her husband and banished them with disgrace while Abigale took her place. Sarah then wrote scandalous memoirs, painting the queen as weak and instable, as well as implying that her relationship with Abigail was lesbian. In mid-1708, she helped to circulate a ballad with such lyrics as: “Her secretary she was not / Because she could not write / But had the conduct and the care / Of some dark deeds at night.”

While there is no direct evidence that she and Anne had sexual relationship, there are many letters between the women that are very romantic and intimate. Sarah even used them to blackmail the queen. And you can kinda see why. “Tis impossible for you ever to believe how much I love you except you saw my heart,” the princess wrote in one letter, as quoted in Anne Somerset’s biography of Anne. “If I writ whole volumes I could never express how well I love you,” read another.

Also, like, evidence was hardly even a thing with queer relationships, since the only solid evidence of regular affairs were illegitimate children.

Finally, I really want to talk about Frederick II, the king of Prussia. Buckle up because this is gonna be long.

Until the age of 7 Frederick was growing up with his lit mother and sister. Here they are, looking gorge. I think he's in blue but tbh I'm not 100% sure.

Anyway, as he got older he was taken to his father and that's when things got shitty. His father, Frederick William I, was the model image of toxic masculinity. He was all about power and military and expected his son to be the same. And since the boy was a lot more into music, poetry, and French stuff, his father often beat and humiliated him. He didn't allow him to learn French and Latin because, like, that's so gay. Now he was a real man. With a weird kink for tall guys. He is known for creating the Potsdam Giants, a regiment of very tall men that he didn't use for battle, just dressing them up and making them march. Ultimate straightness. It is probably redundant to say but his father also hated 'sodomy' and it was punishable by death, a law Frederick would repeal.

And the thing is, Frederick wasn't even supposed to become a king. He was the third son. It wasn't even disease. The first son died because a volley was fired close to his crib (because that’s the only way to wake up a real man - canon) and the second died at baptism because the royal crown crushed his skull. And you thought your parents were bad. Poor Frederick didn't even want to be a king, he just wanted to play the flute and do his thing. In a different age he'd be writing musicals on Broadway or something.

Anyway, there are few doubts among historians the man was gay. There's this BBC documentary that downplays it but it keeps saying he grew up in an environment where he was "leading a double life" and that he once wrote to a close friend that he felt he was a mirror that dared not be what nature made it, forced to oblige what was around it. Please.

Frederick's first presumed relationship was at 16, with Keith, the king's 17-year-old page. Unsurprisingly, Keith was soon sent to a far-off frontier. Right after that, however, Frederick got real close with an officer Hans Hermann von Katte. The dude was very woke and they both loved music and poetry but shit got very real very soon. In 1730, Katte and Frederick decided to flee to Britain to escape their despotic fathers. Sadly, they got caught and tried for treason. Although the prince was pardoned, Katte was sentenced to life imprisonment, which his sick dad changed to execution and then forced Frederick to watch it. At execution Katte and Fred shouted to each other endearments in French and before it happened, Frederick fainted. That shit really fucked him up and he got depressed but he toughened up and accepted his fate.

Aged about 20, Frederick was expected to marry. After a few failed attempts, an Austrian bride was selected, Elisabeth Christine of Brunswick-Bevern. Frederick was clearly unexcited and apparently even threatened suicide. As soon as he had secured throne, he sent her away and only met with her out of necessity. They had no children. And some historians are like, "well, they just didn't get along". Well, his folks hated each other but it didn't stop them from having 14 children.

Anyway, his father finally got off his back and as a crown prince, he mostly spent his time reading, composing, watching plays and writing woke political essays. Then his dad died so playtime was over.

Now that sounds like a story of a "weak" king. A man who loved to read books and play his flute. But it's not how it was. As Fred became king, he inherited a very militarized state with a huge-ass army and he worked with what he had. He started expanding Prussia, starting with Austria, which he had old beef with. He wasn't out for world conquest, he struck swiftly and strategically to consolidate and strengthen his state.

Frederick, widely known as Frederick the Great, waged war against much bigger armies with great success and doubled Prussia's size in his reign. Which is why Hitler was obsessed with the guy smh. Would make more sense if he was into the Frederick Senior, with his militarism and his little hobby of inbreeding giants and all. He must have missed the part where he was tolerant, modest and also gay.

Frederick also had a younger brother, Prince Henry, who was also gay. He was an important general in the king's army, though their relationship was quite complicated. Henry married but like his brother, bore no children, ignored his wife and spent time with fine lads.

Look at this unapologetic legend!

When Frederick wasn't battling, he was doing lit stuff. He built a gorgeous palace in French fashion, full of Grecian sculptures and homoerotic paintings. He attracted the best intellectual minds of his time. Voltaire lived there for 3 years btw and he did not hold back to make many "wink wink" references to the king and his Grecian taste.

Speaking of which... One of his closest friends was Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf, an army private and a son of a peasant. Frederick met him as a prince and kept him by his side for the rest of his life, quite literally as he had an adjoined bedroom in his palace. He also made him a chancellor and gave him an estate, which really pissed off the elites.

Frederick is a complex character. Sure, he waged war and very successfully asserted himself as one of the top military leaders in history. But at the time Prussia was a scattered landlocked state, it couldn't just opt out of war so it's not like he could just go "peace out, bitches". But he did so much more. The guy actually believed that the king's duty was to be just and improve the lives of his people. He did some major reforms, improved education, supported art, and practiced religious tolerance, which was pretty woke at the time. He abolished torture and corporal punishment. He made governing more democratic by hiring people based on ability, not just status. Sadly, his cool legacy was utterly destroyed because the Nazi decided to appropriate him as their idol but lately it’s being reassessed. It’s hard to judge him considering how much he went through. But despite it all he became one of the best military commanders in history, one of the most woke and talented monarchs, and of course a legendary queer! 

Disclaimer: I know all of these people did some terrible shit, at least by modern standards, but I'm here to have fun so I'm not going to go there now. Sources: medium.com/@LukeBoneham/the-politics-of-desire-... thehistoryofparliament.wordpress.com/2019/02/21... www.ranker.com/list/life-of-philippe-dorleans/m... cour-de-france.fr/vie-quotidienne/sociabilite-e... aelarsen.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/versailles-th... thedrummersrevenge.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/ref... dirtysexyhistory.com/2017/09/03/a-secret-gay-br... unspeakablevice.tumblr.com/post/82525976110/lou... journals.openedition.org/crcv/14427#ftn161 Marie Antoinette's World: Intrigue, Infidelity, and Adultery in Versailles The Real Versailles - BBC Two

BBC Four - Frederick the Great and the Enigma of Prussia https://medium.com/war-is-boring/historys-greatest-gay-general-fd7d1d311464 https://www.queerportraits.com/bio/frederick https://www.spectator.com.au/2015/10/frederick-the-great-king-of-prussia-is-a-great-read/ http://gayinfluence.blogspot.com/2011/10/frederick-great-1712-1786.html https://www.history.com/news/true-story-queen-anne-sarah-abigail-the-favourite-fact-check