#fucking great so honestly either way my brain is huge

[zannies-joestar-hut]

i really think Acca might be a twist unvillain

[sugoi-and-spice]

My actual prediction for [REDACTED's] fate at the end of MHA, and just my big ol' meta on the whole situation.

Sadly, I don't think Shigaraki is coming back to life. I really fucking hope he does, but I can't believe it for two weeks and then watch it not happen, I will break . Yeah Horikoshi loves his fake out deaths... But idk, Shigaraki 's body is pretty damn gone. And he tends to pull his punches less when it comes to villains (Twice anyone?!)

I truthfully think the best chance we have of seeing him again is through One for All.

Shigaraki 100% transferred OFA back to Deku with that last bloody fist bump. That moment was a huge part of Horikoshi’s original ending with Bakugo, and I wouldn’t be surprised (or mad) if he decided to try to work it into this new version of his ending.

I think we probably will see Shigaraki again and get some more of that context and closure that we’re looking for, but it will be as a vestige within OFA. That’s my prediction, that’s the best direction that I can imagine this ending going in my little lizard writer brain. And I don’t think I’ll be mad about that. (But idk man, talk to me again in like 2 weeks lol).

I’ve always had a hard time believing that Shigaraki was going to make it out of this series alive. Of course, I’ve always wanted Horikoshi to find a clever way for him to do so without totally betraying his character -- I never believed that Shigaraki should fully join the side of the heroes. It’s just so antithetical to his mission and the message of MHA, nor could he ever just… live a normal life with every crime he committed, and him spending his life in prison would be just as miserable as him dying like this imo, no fucking freedom there. Sure, the simp in me wanted an ending where he got a redemption and life, but I certainly wasn’t optimistic. It would be a HARD fucking thing to do. I certainly don’t know how I would do it if I was in Horikoshi’s shoes, as a fellow professional writer (not just of romance either. I write and edit YA action fiction in my normie job, fun fact). I had hoped Horikoshi would figure it out, and a part of me is obviously hoping that Kurogiri managed to pull some hijinks and somehow warp him away, then he and his friends go on to live like little rats the way they have for the majority of the series, forever, buuuut-

I did always have a feeling he was probably going to go the Vader route.

Honestly, him dying beating the shit out of All for One is a pretty great exit for his character, feels more true than him sacrificing himself for the heroes’ side or humanity’s sake. It is the quickness with which this all occurred, the off-screen rescuing he had by Nana Shimura, and the lack of bodily autonomy in his death that I think is pissing people off. (It’s certainly what’s pissing me off). If we had even just gotten a moment of him having full control of his body again, looking up to the sky and seeing his friends waiting for him as he decayed away – or you know, just a death that lasted longer then two damn pages – I think the reactions wouldn’t be so visceral.

That being said. Horikoshi is a master chef, particularly when it comes to stories of recovering from trauma and getting closure, as well as tying up loose threads imo (remember when everyone though that he FORGOT the traitor plotline? Boy was that an embarrassing time for the fandom lmao),  and this man has been cooking for a while now. MHA has been the best it has ever been in this Final Saga and I don’t think he’s done with this dish just yet, nor do I think he’s done with Shigaraki. Physically? Probably. But everything that Shigaraki represents and stands for in this series, no I don’t think this is the end of that. Just because we didn’t see those moments we wanted in this last chapter, doesn’t mean we won’t see them in the next.

So as shell-shocked as I am right now to see my ultimate comfort character (who I have a tattoo of by the way lol) fade away into dust, I’m gonna trust the process and Horikoshi for now.

It ain’t over til it’s over, as it were.

Peace.

(And all that being said, I probably will still write a fix it fanfic where he lives instead, regardless of how this is handled lmao)

[shithead-music]

The Slim Shady LP (1999)

"Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me?!" So, in 1999, Eminem made his debut album, the Slim Shady LP, with a huge emphasis on violence, drugs, over-the-top shock content, and all of that shit. I recently listened to it, and decided to do a review.

Track #1, "My Name Is"

Hi! My opinion is, my opinion is, (what?), my opinion is, (who), my opinon is, this song is pretty good! His very first song (other than whatever the fuck Infinite is), the first track really judges the overall mood of the album. It has this grimy but goofy beat, with grotesque and offputting lyrics.

"By the way, if you see my dad, tell him I slit his throat, in this dream I had."

Track #2, "Guilty Conscience"

Meet wiggy, someone who's listening to a classic album. While she's writing a review for a song, her conscious suddenly comes into play. Dre and Em really bounce off of eachother really well, them arguing with each other over CLEARLY EASY moral situations, and such a great beat, makes this one of the better concept songs I've heard!

"What, he tripped, and fell on his dick?"

Track #3, "Brain Damage"

His palms were sweaty before there were was vomit on his sweater already in this song. It talks about this kid who gets his ass thoroughly beat and ends up in the hospital with brain damage. The chorus is absolutely my favorite part. In the second part of the song, he talks about re-beating the shit out of this dumb motherfucker, to which he goes home and gets beat by his mom after suddenly breaking out in an overdose-like state.

"The principal walked in and helped him stomp me."

Track #4, "If I Had"

If I had one wish, I'd ask for this song to be shorter. It's good, and a great piece of pent-up frustration in song form, but it's kind of like ICP's "How Many Times" but more lax. For all my non-juggalos, you don't get that. But it's just Em talking about how he hates things and what he wishes for.

"I'm tired of being fired every time I fart and cough."

Track #5, "'97 Bonnie & Clyde"

Just the two of us, as in me and this album. This song is severely underrated, with a scarily haunting melody and lyrics, with Em speaking with a cheerful tone (as he's talking to his infant daughter) while killing his baby mama, Kim. It has offsettling lyrics and chorus, and it's cheerful tone does not alleviate it. The ambience honestly seals the deal. In conclusion, I love this song.

"There's a place called heaven and a place called hell, a place called prison and a place called jail. I'm going to all of them except one..."

Track #6, "Role Model"

OK, I'm now going to review this song. Do try this at home. You can be just like me. This, THIS. This is the peak of The Slim Shady LP, the best song and one of the best in Em's entire career. It's the entire Slim Shady persona in one, perfect song, with a haunting beat and grotesque lyrics, with a chorus that either hypes you up or sends chills down your spine. I could praise this song all day, but you should listen to it, and just bathe in the quality.

"Every girl I've ever gone out with has gone les!"

Track #7, "My Fault"

Em might not be pregnant, but he DELIVERS. While being slightly worse than Guilty Conscience, Brain Damage, and 97 Bonnie & Clyde, Em gives us another great concept song. It's an extremely goofy sounding song, with once AGAIN, grotesque lyrics. I haven't really commented on the overall mood of the album so far, but this really keeps up the grotesque yet deceptively cheery sounding mood. Basically, Em kills a girl by giving her way too many shrooms.

"Stop trying to swallow your tongue!"

Track #8, "Cum on Everybody"

Uhhh...It's groovy. Thats about as much praise I can give it.

"I'm freestyling every verse I spit, because I don't need to remember my shit."

Track #9, "Rock Bottom"

OK, this is better. Here, Em reflects on depression, drug addiction, and people getting famous and leaving their communities. He laments on poverty and the pain of raising a child in such a bad situation. It carries a dramatic beat, and Em speaks in a frustrated yet pained voice.

"This one goes out, to all the happy people."

Track #10, "Just Don't Give A Fuck"

This track is kind of like Role Model, Pt. 2. With a violent and angry tone, it talks about Shady...just doesn't give a fuck. He talks about the things he usually talks about in his songs, murder, crime, drugs, and other heinous crimes. It's meaning or lyrics don't have much to be talked about, it's more of a sonic thing. It has an electric beat, with a sinister and chaotic mood surrounding the whole song.

"Slim Shady, M&M was the old initials."

Track #11, "As The World Turns"

It's really just like Role Model, Pt. 3. He talks about the regular, murder, crime, animal cruelty, drugs, and other heinous shit. All of the songs of this nature on this album since Role Model have been slowly declining, and I really have not much to say. It has a good beat, but a pretty bad chorus.

"But she swallowed my leg whole, like an egg roll."

Track #12, "I'm Shady"

Wow, this is a very...mid track. It has an incredible beat, but very basic Em lyrics and the like. Shock factor lyrics, but on this song, it doesn't really hit. It's mid, and I guess its Role Model, Pt. 4.

"Shoot up the playground and tell the kids to stay in school!"

Track #13, "Bad Meets Evil"

FINALLY! A GOOD ONE! This is an extremely good track, with Royce Da 5'9's verse absolutely blowing me away upon first lyrics. This is what happens when bad meets evil, and the beat compliments the track so much. Royce and Em bounce off of eachother incredibly well, maybe as good as Em and Dre. Royce has an incredible voice and flow on this track, I can't help but praise it. This is a great breather in the album too, a bubble of fresh air in the last 2 bad songs littering the album and leaving a sour taste in my mouth.

"We in the trees, lookin' like Vietnamese people."

Track #14, "Still Don't Give a Fuck"

Now, we've arrived to the end of the album. The last track. First off, it has a fantastic intro, with Em talking about his fear of death. Despite the name, I wouldn't say this song is like Don't Give a Fuck Pt. 2 (or Role Model Pt. 4?), it's more of a finisher. It's one of the best songs on the album, providing a satisfying conclusion to such a phenomenal and classic album. The serious tone of Em in this song and the beat compliment each other perfectly.

"To all the weed I smoked, yo this blunts for you!"

IN CONCLUSION !!!!

The Slim Shady LP was a masterful introduction to Eminem's illustrious career with his Slim Shady Persona, or, this shit slaps. It really tapers and fades in the 3rd quarter, but the last two songs are as good as the incredibly strong beginning.

Cover Art: 9/10

Overall Rating: 9/10

Lyrics: 6/10

Beats: 10/10

Features: 10/10

Em's debut album is one of the best debuts in rap history. Infinite doesn't count, fuck you.

Listen here!

[lovewithoutresin]

res's grammy list NOT clickbait! also i know some of these have already updated while i was working on it but OH WELL

for AOTY I would LOVE to see either Midwest Princess or Cowboy Carter take it home. full disclosure I am behind the times and have not heard Cowboy Carter yet (along with several other albums like The Great Impersonator from last year, which is ALSO. conspicuously absent from grammy noms YET AGAIN! but I digress) but I think its cultural impact was huge enough and it was a big enough risk that I couldn't possibly bemoan it. Obviously I will be happy if TTPD wins but I'm actually not super pulling for it. I'm strongly neutral on that

I'd love it if Pop Vocal album (technically not gen category but eh it ties in for me) went to Short n' Sweet or TTPD for obvious reasons. like I need these albums acknowledged even if they arent my AOTY picks because holy shit

I won't even hope for SOTY for Taylor because she'll probably not win it until she's 76 <3 that said if Not Like Us or Good Luck, Babe! don't get it I will be flying to california and you can use your imagination on what comes next. Lyrically they are just the best songs (sorry to Sabrina i think please please please SLAPS as a song but is not better WRITTEN than those)

honestly there's no way for me to lose on record of the year. I don't super know the Billie song but I liked it enough to save it so. really anyone in this category I could say deserves it.

Sabrina and Chappell are really the only reasonable contenders for Best New Artist to me because I have not heard the other names NEARLY as frequently if at all, but this may also just be a matter of my exposure. I've also heard RAYE a LOT though so I would not be mad about that

FOR NOT GEN CATEGORIES!

Daniel Nigro is really the only possible choice for Producer of the Year for me. I mean he's produced an ASSLOAD of stuff I like for this year. Wouldn't be mad abt Mustard though.

Amy Allen did Taste AND scared of my guitar?? two of my FAVORITE songs this year (esp somg?)?? how could i NOT pull for her

I'm going Saviors by Green Day because I like them but have not heard these noms myself yet cheers

For any rap specific category you can assume safely that I'm wanting Kendrick and will kill someone if it isn't Kendrick. And yes that's basic of me but even disregarding that he's really the main rapper I've been exposed to: this was also one of the biggest cultural stories and upsets this year. The amount of cleverness that went into every element of how he's handled this should give him every award alone. Nobody's brain is as big as his. That is all

(I am also pulling for him for Best Music Video due to this. DON'T get me wrong I'll be happy if Fortnight wins too but Not Like Us is greatly preferred)

AND FINALLY Can't Catch Me Now needs to win best song for visual media because holy SHIT that song kills.

Final Notes:

Any country category Beyonce is in I’m pulling for her. If she’s not in it I’m pretty much just pulling for Morgan Wallen to lose. 

Also I saw an arrangement of a Persona 5 song is on there?? that’s fucking crazy. The P5R energy is already scary with today being 2/2 so I don’t really know what to feel about that. We’ll see I guess

[bibiana112]

Kinda weird question- do you have any links to people talking about Mira from ZTD and ableist stereotypes? I mentioned that I was uncomfortable with her portrayal but kinda fumbled it and made some other ND people in chat uncomfortable. I searched for various keyword combinations but most of what I'm finding is like "and not to mention the ableism with Mira" and doesn't elaborate lol.

Not weird at all! And uh, you see, there's a recent post I made where what I complain about is the very fact I've never seen anyone post too in-depth about her at all, I'd love to see posts that do elaborate on that but I do not have any that I know of right now, sorry :/ hopefully someone else who sees this can point to one? Okay!! After some tag searches I have found exactly one post who kind of gets into it I like this take still would love to see. more than just one but hooray

And like though I complain I couldn't elaborate much on it myself I don't think, I believe most of the posts people make about Saito from aitsf would apply since it's a different uchikoshi take on the very same trope of "emotionless characters who cannot function without killing others" I guess he's a worse portrayal though since she's at least not stated to get reward brain chemicals when killing people and I guess her case also has the added layer of "femme fatale" to it? Which either makes it less bad or worse depending on where you approach it from As I said I am not doing a good job of being coherent on this oh and also there's her being "redeemed" and "cured" in the epilogue which in on itself is kinda not great to imply it just goes away like that and honestly I personally don't even buy it I think she'd just be like oh okay Akane over here has like a thousand reasons to hate me after all that oh and what's that she's the leader of a super wealthy underground organization who's organized one of these death traps before yeah no I'm better off going to prison I'll be fine there lmao bye

But I'll say as an autistic person with relatively low empathy I usually see a character who just doesn't understand other people's feelings and wants to feel them too and is just trying to survive despite getting no help and I just kinda go hm. yeah. shout-out to roxas kingdom hearts shout out to mary from ib shout out that's why I started hyperfixating on media art helps me with understanding others a great lot and Mira is just in a story too badly executed for me to care or even begin to wrap my head around tbh like god she's so fucking terribly used as a plot device in every conceivable way that it makes it difficult to see past it and into what she could possibly be if it weren't for the stereotype of equalling low empathy with no compassion what's with her killing off screen in ways that wildly deviate from her stated m.o? why or how was she even in cahoots with Zero why was that a thing? Honestly her dynamic with Sean could have been better fleshed out could have done something interesting about robot child and his aspd big sis but we just kind of don't get any attention brought to the subject of emotions and the authenticity there of except for the "reveal"...

YOU KNOW WHAT that's probably one huge reason it feels so fucked up actually! Like the whole fucking game is written so you could experience it in whatever order you want and therefore Mira being a serial killer at all is something that though not very well hidden it also cannot be a topic of discussion or explored Ever ever because the player may not have seen the fragment where that is revealed yet- problem being the menu design of that game sucks so bad and practically everyone gravitates towards the same few more interesting looking thumbnails first and then the rest is kinda just there, I mean that is part of the reason A Lot of characters feel half-baked I think but also I think it definitely does impact perception of her character specifically probably The Most and then there's just the general not being given nuance not being able to see the minutiae of how that disorder manifests in her character aside from the killings about how she acts aside from being overly flirty trying to lure in Eric but that affects pretty much all of the new cast we don't have last names and in her case we barely have any backstory at all like Saito is a harmful stereotype sure but we get So Much Context for him that people still love talking about him and delving into different aspects of his life since we have that very well telegraphed in the narrative meanwhile for Mira all we can do is fill in the blanks guesswork that only highlights the worst aspects of the surface level portrayal we got and ultimately that people just don't care enough to dissect because there isn't much there character wise once you remove it

[darlingdawnauryn]

My Most Memorable Spirit Encounter

I said in my pinned post that I haven't officially started studying death/spirit work, but that's not entirely true. Between watching Poltergeist for the first time, buzzing with anticipation on the way home from school because I knew A Haunting would be there waiting for me, and the general paranormal-leaning landscape of early/mid-aughts subculture (I plan to make a post about the latter), I was pretty obsessed with ghosts and spirits as a preteen and ready to dive in in whatever way I could -- and there weren't a lot of ways, since my mom forbade me from using Ouija boards, conducting seances, etc. But that doesn't mean I wasn't capable of doing something.

To start, I was a pretty emo, anxiety-ridden adolescent who'd already had a few near-death experiences under my belt. Though I'd in no way call myself a medium, I believe this thinned the veil for me, giving me the chance to come across things from the Other Side that my able-bodied peers wouldn't have happened upon so easily. Couple that with the layout of my bedroom, which had a walk-in closet and a glass door leading to a fenced-in sideyard that let in the cold during winter, not to mention the huge mirror connected to my vanity dresser, and it's a wonder my fucking around didn't lead to a finding out period where I accidentally opened a portal to hell.

My room was at the end of a sizeable hallway off the dining room; I don't know if it actually gave me the amount of privacy I remembered, but despite both my parents using the glass door to go out and smoke, I could basically lock myself in and remain undisturbed for hours at a time. This gave me the opportunity to try and contact whatever the fuck was in my room -- because despite being undisturbed, I never felt truly alone. I was always aware of a heavy presence, throughout the whole house but seeming to be concentrated in the place where I slept. Again, I blame the three doorways and giant mirror. At this point I'd tried everything I could, including a homemade pendulum and a lowkey, makeshift seance with my sister (which turned out to be a bust because she didn't take it seriously and turned it into a game). So one evening, when the atmosphere felt particularly weighted, I just decided to start talking.

"I know there's something in here. Can you make yourself known to me, please?"

Nothing. No creaks, groans, taps. It's also worth noting that I didn't know homemade boards were an option; for whatever reason, a pendulum that was just a necklace that belonged to my great-grandmother was common sense. But a homemade, hand-drawn Ouija board slipped my mind. (It also felt a little bogus, honestly. I wanted the real deal.)

"Please make yourself known to me. I just wanna talk."

I also had a tall dresser that wasn't a combination vanity, and since this was around 2007 I had a five-disc CD player with a speaker on either side. Nestled between the player and one of the speakers was my MP3 player, which I always took out of my backpack after school because my dad hooked me up with an aux chord and I thought it was the coolest thing. I always kept it plugged in, and when I wasn't using it, it was pushed into that impromptu cubby. This was at least six inches back from the edge of the dresser, meaning it was in no danger of falling off the thing.

It took a few more minutes of prodding on my part, but all of a sudden the MP3 player flew from the dresser. It didn't just fall -- it was launched from its hiding place with enough force to make the aux chord grow taut, creating some resistance that probably stopped it from crashing into the opposite wall and breaking. But it did end up landing on the floor.

Like I said, I didn't have a Ouija board and at the time I didn't know pendulum boards existed. I had no way of knowing if I'd contacted a ghost, a house spirit, something else, or if my hormone-addled brain concentrated energy in an already off-putting room and made something cool happen. The good news is, that's all it was. It never veered into dangerous territory and we moved out of state shortly after anyway. Still, I would've liked to know what I'd been talking to.

Since getting into witchcraft a little over a year ago, I've felt it almost necessary to find a mentor before actively practicing spirit work; obviously this is serious shit that takes a lot of energy, and I don't wanna irreversibly mess anything up, especially since I still live with people who aren't keen on spirit communication. But reliving this memory by typing it out has made me reconsider, at least a little: if nothing bad happened back then, when I didn't know nearly as much as I do now and had no protections in place, maybe I already have a better grip on this than I thought.

Feel free to share your own experiences/opinions in the replies!

[x3rrorx]

Here is the link to my live review of the Bad Omens Concrete Jungle [THE OST] album if you are interested — (LIVE REVIEW)

If you don’t care to watch the live review, I’ll also give my thoughts on it here.

I first wanna mention the C:\projects\ — I think that was a really cool idea. I still need to listen to them in reverse individually, but the person who was big brain and did it and put them all together for us… thank you. I probably wouldn’t have thought to do that honestly. Maybe, but probably not. So thank you to the fan that did that. Also, cool as fuck on the bands part. I think that was creative to do.

BEAT DEATH

I love V.A.N. — I wasn’t huge on The Drain but I don’t think it’s a bad song, just very repetitive. As I said before, it’s not something I would go out of my way to play. But if it did play I would listen to it. Maybe it’s great live. — Terms and Conditions, I don’t dislike the song, I think it sounds good. I’m just not huge on rap. So I’m still not sure on my opinion of it. Just doesn’t sound like a Bad Omens song. Like it was a song Bob Vylan did and added Noah’s part in. Not sure why they added it to the album honestly. — Hedonist (recharged) should be in the \FINDPEACE category, confused why it’s in this one, but either way… nope. Don’t like it. — Even, I liked it. Doesn’t really sound like Noah but it still sounds good. It’s very slow but I think it sounds pretty. — Loading Screen was nice. Not much to say about it cause it’s an instrumental only. But yeah it sounded nice. — Anything > Human is definitely my favorite new song. I think they did great with that one. — Digital Footprint was also good. Sounds like being at a nightclub. — Nervous System I thought was really good. She sounded similar to Flyleaf. I liked its.

FIND PEACE

Soooo… I really just didn’t like these versions of the songs. I only liked the two The Death Of Peace Of Mind versions. Didn’t like any of the others in this chapter.

CLEAR MIND

Absolutely love live tracks. I wish more bands did live albums because they are my favorite. I love feeling like I’m back at their shows. I love the stuff they added before and between each song. I’m very happy they did live music.

I do wish that they would make another album with the songs they do on tour but without the songs being live. I want the additional sounds and extra stuff they put in the live songs. You know what I mean?

The revamped / acoustic version of Just Pretend… I’m not really sure how I feel about it. I don’t really care for it, honestly, but I think it was beautiful and emotional. Like he was being vulnerable with it. I just don’t understand the point of that version of the song. Was it an addition to the song? Was it for/about someone? 

[ill-written-god]

T | 809 | m/nb? human/the thing haunting his house | prequel to 'haunted'

Ed has been flat-hunting for the past two weeks daily. His brain was slowly becoming a blur of doors, walls, and smiling realtors. Every day he would see at least one place but none of them met his requirements, and if it did, it always had some hidden payments or repairs he couldn't afford. 

So when he was looking at another one on Friday - a one-story house in an old suburb neighbourhood - he didn’t have much hope of moving out of his mother’s flat. It was small, but still too big for his budget. Especially, when the realtor told him it had a huge cellar beneath, great for storing wine or preserves, as they said. 

He stepped in prepared to find water damage, leaky pipes, and drafty windows. When he found none, he asked about the price and looked twice at the paperwork. The realtor, a tired young man, waited patiently in an armchair as he searched over and over again for hidden expenses. 

“What’s wrong with this house?” he asked eventually, but as the man opened his mouth to answer, he raised his hand to stop him. "And don’t say nothing, there must be a reason why a place this cheap hasn't been rented yet.”

The man sighs. 

"Honestly? I don't know. It’s in good condition, all vital repairs have been done, and yet, the price keeps falling. People say they don't like ‘the vibe’,” he scowled, quotation marks in the air.

Ed looks around once again, at the fairly inconspicuous walls and necessities. 

"I don't feel any ’vibes’ here.” 

The man shrugs. 

"Me neither. Are you interested?"

Tentatively, Ed nodded.

"I think so? But I'm worried about… the vibes."

"Tell you what,” the man reaches into his pockets. "I’ll give you the keys, you can spend the night here, look around more, find whatever is wrong with the place. I'll be back in the afternoon, maybe you’ll have an answer for me then," he says, offering him the keys. 

Ed took them, stunned. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, just don’t tell my supervisors,” he winked. “Lock the doors when you leave and don’t break anything.”

“Of course,” he nods, watching the man stand up and put on his jacket.

“See you tomorrow then?” he extends his hand. 

“I’ll have your answer,” he promises, shaking on it.

*

He made multiple trips that day. First, he grabbed his son to give him a tour. He didn't get any bad vibes from the house either, and his kid’s approval was important in a decision that big. Then he drove him back to his grandmother, grabbing a sleeping bag to spend the night. Maybe whatever was creeping potential tenants out, was coming out after dark.

The neighborhood didn’t look any different than any other when the sun set. The trees loomed over the road, but not unwelcomingly. They wrapped around the fence like a dark green embrace.

The house was quiet and his steps echoed through the empty walls. Still normal.

He put his makeshift camp upstairs, where his bedroom would be, on an empty bed frame. After settling there, he took his flashlight and toured the house once again, shining light in every smallest nook and cranny, looking for anything that might have scared off potential tenants.

His last step was the cellar, which held the laundry room and wine shelves. There was also an old couch, which was probably too much of a hassle to carry up the stairs during renovations. He trails his light across the walls, layered with stones. In the corner hung a motion-operated light - now off, since the power was shut until a new person moves in. The ceiling was low, but due to the amount of open space, it didn’t feel constricting.

He sat down on the couch, surprisingly bouncy despite its age, and imagined a low table for card games, maybe a crate of beers next to the wine shelves. It would make a nice hang-out spot. 

His flashlight flickered, so he hit it against his palm a couple of times. The light steadied for a second, before completely going out.

“Fuck", he muttered to no one but the darkness. He now had to climb his way up guided by touch alone. He sighed, falling against the couch before the inevitable trip up the stairs.

Somebody sat down next to him.

He knew it wasn’t possible, but that's what his brain was telling him, his sixth sense on high alert. He looked to the side, but still saw nothing but the dark. He reached out.

Just air. 

But despite feeling and seeing nothing, his brain kept screaming at him that he had company. He stood up abruptly, determined to leave as fast as the lack of visibility would allow.

Something, unmistakable despite its absurdity, grabbed his ass. He ran up the stairs, trippin on the steps.

[ofallthingsnasty]

It's been a few days since I read your RD2 fic "through the briar" and AHHHHGHGHHH!!! I haven't been able to think of anything else since then, it is such an amazing read. Look I like a softened up Micah as much as the next person, but it was so refreshing to have him portrayed as nasty and horrible as he is in canon. Genuinely got chills and felt creeped out while reading it was great lol

So if its not too much trouble I would like to request maybe a small aftermath fic? Specifically the aftermath if reader did up getting pregnant from that terrible event in the woods. Either how things would play out with the reader being pregnant during the events of the game.

Or instead a mini fic about a few years into the future with the reader already having at least one child with Micah living in a small cabin somewhere. And deciding to grab their kid and make a run for it while Micah is away, and the terrible consequences of that :/

I will honestly be happy with either one of these, if you feel like writing them.

Thank you for taking the time to read this long rant and request :)

Oh my god, I got the notif for this while I was at the drug store and I just stood there smiling my ass off at my screen while people pushed me away -- thank you so much, and I am so so happy that you liked it!! Its anniversary is coming up and it's genuinely my favorite fic I've written so far 😭💖💖 I am so honored that it gave you something to chew on, I really wanted to creep my readers out haha

Micah just fascinates me. I really don't like him but his character is just so fucking good - he's positively mesmerizing, a huge part of that is because of Peter Blomquist's absolutely stellar voice acting. I've never had this with a character and haven't found it again so far, Micah is just special. (Hahaha sorry for the ramble lol)

Regarding your requests - have you been living in my brain? 😂💖 Those are exactly the two scenarios that intruge me the most and I want to write both -- because I can't pass up a fic with Arthur absolutely wrecking his relationship with you due to guilt and rage (directed at Micah) and the whole troupe reacting to what has happened (of course, they'd never know the full truth, considering Micah's ways with Dutch) - just a whole lot of suffering for poor, poor little old you. And the escape attempt scenario - and its consequences - have me feral. It's just getting worse and worse for you in this situation. Just a whole lot of delicious misery.

They both came up last year after I posted the fic - but because of me finishing up uni I couldn't even think about writing them. Now that I've got my diploma, I can finally tackle them -- so thanks for expressing interest!! I am putting them on my list for this year, I'm dying to write more Micah...

[yellowloid]

7, 8, 41 and 48 for the fic questions? 🥰

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

has to be the one i did for my 'satin and lace' series! i just love the backstory of their relationship, love the whole trip to france (amy my beloved <3 the universe hating alex my beloved <3) , love every little moment they spent falling in love in the french countryside as young puppies and then reliving all that once they came back, grown and ready to take the next step... and then the flashbacks to their wedding, and the honeymoon... ugh. i love researching for my fics and i just had so much fun doing it for this series, especially the 'geographic' aspect of their idyllic french summer and then their dream italian honeymoon. ugh i'm just so proud of this whole series and i love it so much </3

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

so many possibilities!! i think i've already said this in the past but i would absolutely LOVE to read/write a fic about the aviation/eycte/miracle aligner trilogy - i think that's pretty self-explanatory in and of itself jshfhsf. it has so much fucking potential and i'd write it myself but it'd be such a huge project and it'd mean so much i'd go insane trying to make it as perfect as possible and unfortunately i don't have time for that djfhshfhs but who knows, maybe one day

also bonus answers: dracula teeth because vampires (duh), sculptures because it'd make a great thriller, the bakery because of wholesome meet-cutes and coming-of-age vibes, the jeweller's hands because mysterious and crazy gay sex aura

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

aaaaaa that's such a difficult question... i think in this fandom we truly don't realise how lucky we are when it comes to fanfics - because trust me, i've read a lot of fics in oh-so-many different fandoms over the years and although i've read a lot of great ones... the moment i joined the milex fandom it was all over jshfdgf a while ago i tried reading something (*smut, but that's only relatively relevant) in another fandom, from an author i used to trust even - and trust me when i say i had to close the tab so fast because it was... meh. it was just not passing the vibe check. it wasn't even *that* bad, it was just... idk. there's a lot of great stuff out there but once you read about milex there's no way out and definitely no way back sjfhdfdxhg

however, in our little tumblr corner we have SO MANY different writers who are just so extremely talented it's honestly crazy. everyone has their own personal - and very identifiable - way of writing about those two silly idiots in love, and everyone writes slightly different versions of them, and all those little details come together to make every fic so special. i could recognise something written by a specific author rathen than another just by looking at their writing style and way of characterising alex and miles, as well as their dynamic with each other. and i think that's so beautiful and special and ugh <3 i really really love this fandom and all the talented people that are part of it. y'all are amazing <3

now to answer the question, there's just so many outstanding fics out there... but if i really had to choose just one, i'd go with 'Miracle Aligner' by WeirdChick333. that fic took me on a journey and literally changed my brain chemistry in the process; it's just so insanely good it blows my mind over and over again even just thinking about it. left me speechless when i first read it and keeps leaving me speechless every time i think back to it. absolute fucking masterpiece.

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

'going back to 505' by my lovely bestie @alexturne that i still need to leave a proper comment on bc i'm bad at being the ao3 equivalent of a tumblrina but just know i loved it very much and she always delivers the most wholesome fluffiest fluff xx

thank you so much for the questions, this was really fun 💖

[pancakewithsprinkles]

😅 Honestly just the whole fact that I'm shipping a human with an axolotl... I'm a proud believer in "cringe culture is dead" but my brain still gives me a side eye while writing about them...

🥺 Them being gay <3

🤡 This gem comes from Chapter 6: “Ohhh no, too much electricity. Waay too much electricity. Fuck, how do you get rid of it? Like, water or something??” In Frank's defense, he was panicking. It also didn't help that with his kindergarten level education he was stupid enough to think that'd work. He stole a cup of water from one of the Killers as lightning and threw it at Kinito to see what happened. What happened was he burst into flames."

😈 Frank's letters to home. Definitely.

✍ My best friends!!

🛒 I want my fics to be brimming with imagery and entertaining characters!

🎢 I literally only have one...

✨ I'm really freakin proud that I wrote 7 full length chapters in a month

💋 LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!

🎶 I listen to piano music <3

🛠 Google docs for life baby!!!

⛔ A first person TADC fic. I might start it up again though...

🙋‍♀️ One other person..

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

🍷 Nope :3

🍆 Nope :3

🌞 Anytime I feel like it

💖 Percy Jackson

💌 If I could hang all of them up on a wall and frame it, I would

❌ Bang or die

💲 Absolutely

🧐 It helps when your "research" is just reading a short character bio and a trailer.

🏆 "Dead by Daylight but Kinito is suffering through 50% of it" great title, I know.

🎃 I don't write seasonal fics, but I'm definitely planning on doing that!!! If I had to guess I think halloween would be the funnest

🎯 None surprisingly! I'm really happy about that.

🎨 Screaming sobbing throwing up- I do a little happy dance and stare at it for hours

📈 1 and counting!!

🦅 Fly by the seat of my pants baby! The readers dont know where the story is going next and I dont either!!

👀 Welll..... In chapter 8 there will definitely be some "Taking care of my partner who is sick and delirious" action. Is there a name for that trope yet??

🤗 GO FOR IT!!!! No matter how stupid or bad, WRITE IT!!! If nobody will read it, I'LL READ IT! I'LL EAT THAT SHIT UP FOR YOU! WRITE WRITE WRITE!

💞 I have way too many. Spamton G Spamton, Kinitopet, Leshy (Inscyrption).... the list goes waaaayyy on

🧠 Spamton G spamton

🤩 I love writing Frank honestly. He's my pookie bear <333 I never liked the legion much before writing the fic, but now I would literally die for them

🤲 this is the only WIP I have for chapter 8 lmao. Writers block got my ass: "USER NIGHTMARE, CLOWN GETS KINITO DRUNK, FRANKS COAT FOR WARMTH" I know, great WIP right?

😬 Lmao I show my parents my fic (Theyre huge dead by daylight fans)

🎉 Comments!!!

✅ Crying. Lots and lots of crying.

📚 Fuck yeah. I'm literally writing a book at this point in time lmao

⌛ An hour :3

🤯 Sex. Never writing sex.

💔 Nah, but having writers block sure broke my heart lol.

💥I will cry. Dont give it to me please let me live in blissful ignorance

🤭 Fluff and/or Hurt/comfort :3

🥰 I LOVE READER INTERACTION SO MUCH GIMME GIMME GIMME I WANNA TALK WITH MY FANS PLEASE PLEASE PELASE

Thank you for making this!!! It was super fun and it made me feel a little better about having writers block. Rest in peace everyone who's been waiting for chapter 8. I'm so sorry AND IF YOU DONT KNOW I MADE A FANFIC HERE YOU GO HERES THE LINK https://archiveofourown.org/works/55030426/chapters/139509355

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

🍷 Do you drink and write?

🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

💖 What made you start writing?

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

🏆 What's your most popular fic?

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

📈 How many fics do you have?

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

💞 Who's your comfort character?

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

[golem-boy]

DevLog 03: You… Are Late.

This month's post has been hella delayed… life got in the way and I really hadn't opened either of my writing programs like, at all. Kinda sucks, but--as they say, better late than never, right?

While hectic, I made a huge leap forward in progress, so here's to the jumps made so far, and to many more!

Neocities has been pretty slow. I got a bit stuck on flex boxes and decided to put it aside for the time being, until I feel more confident that the information has cooked long enough in my brain and I can jump back in and absorb the syntax required more readily. I did manage to make some writing progress elsewhere, though, and I've been plunking away at the site for my friend's use; it's also slow-going, as my focus is centralized on blender, but any progress is good progress and I felt it important to mention.

The real kicker has been the fact I FINALLY got a hold of how the fuck blender handles things like parenting, and figuring out how best to make use of topology to weight more smoothly.

In other words--I've become some kind of cracked rigging wizard, and I've only accelerated from there. Figuring out curves and hook modifiers has been a gamechanger for organic forms, and I've whipped through completely meshing and rigging some THREE SEPARATE PROJECTS in the span of a month. That is absolutely insane to me!

I did lose power while working and lose a bunch of progress, because of course blender's autosave feature gonks when you restart your PC… but whatever, I'm planning to tackle the problem in a new way later during the course of December. It's good practice to further hone my work anyway, and I honestly have a lot of fun doing this stuff now that I understand it better.

In other terms, stuff has been pretty slow… I'm sitting around waiting for a Warframe update to drop, and kind of tinkering around with looking for some reminder software--or learning bash and writing the damn program myself, as nothing has really been satisfying! I actually got the idea from a discord bot, which reminds me of another thing I've been rolling around, at least in concept.

I got my hands on Buckshot Roulette recently, and I absolutely love it to death (ha!). It's a really fun game, and I've really enjoyed the challenge and chance of it, though my memory struggles to keep up with it. I've actually come up with a logging system for rounds, that way I can keep closer track of what's going on during a given gameplay loop.

Usually I'll start with writing out the initial shell counts--2L3B, for example, to mean 'two live, three blank'. Then I note top-downward which shells are used as the round progresses, and add in any additional notes to the side, such as 4SB via the burner phone, or a little arrow indicating that a shell polarity was flipped (though that's obviously only applicable in Double-Or-Nothing mode). It's been great to be able to remember what's going on and enjoy the game to its fullest!

Which is what inspired me to look into writing a text form of the basic gameplay loop, allowing for two people to play on the same machine--the game's current multiplayer only allows for online connection, which is GREAT, but feels a bit of a loss when I want to play with, say, Axon. I debated doing something like a discord or revolt bot, which… why not both, but the problem thus arises when I get into server costs and hosting and so forth. Maybe someday, when I have more disposable income and the patience to do that. Not today, though.

Anyhow--I think I'll try to remember to share some of my blender work here on tumblr, though if you want to see it, you can also swing by my bluesky and check out progress shots and more of my yapping, hah. Next you see me, I might have FINALLY finished this avatar work for myself… so the next post might include selfies!

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[meandering-reality]

Fear of fear of fear of fear, ugg get over it

When I finally stepped out from under the avalanche of rainbows and unicorns I had pulled over my eyes I realized that I feared death. Or at least that's how my over-thinking, anxiety riddled brain decided its thoughts on “where the heck am I doing with this info” led me.

Again, I wasn't raised religious. My mother was angry about being raised under my grandparents' religion and so she was an atheist. And while we didn't discuss it much, the emotions I picked up from her were always very bitter and angry about it.

My grandfather and great grandmother I always saw as it was a place to go on Sunday. Well scratch that for grandpa, there was always a game on. 

My grandmother however put her all into it. She sat down every day and studied the Bible as well. She never spoke to me about it either (I found out later that my mom had basically threatened to never let her see me again if she ever spoke about or took me to church). The one huge difference between the two is that my grandmother always felt like an angel to me.

Maybe it was a difference in personality. Or how they moved through the world. Perhaps age and experience as well. Whatever it was I look back at my childhood and see me being torn between my grandmother's love and my mother's lack of it.

I've had years to work on forgiveness. To realize she did the best she could with what she had. To hear stories of what an amazing and loving person she was. To find a way to love that kid I was. The one  that just wanted to feel like their mom loved them. To learn how to stick up for and protect that kid out of time.

All of these things lead into this cycle of 7 to 8 years of being flung back into a position where I feel like I've unlearned everything I worked on before. All coming to a head with the question what's going to happen to me when I die?

It's funny that oblivion never entered into the equation. It is more a fear of being alone, conscious and alone. I do have a spiritual belief, it's not as simple as saying I'm a Christian. It's also not as simple as saying I'm spiritual (why too many ideas and choices). I could narrow it by saying awakened but honestly that doesn't really narrow it much either.

I (when I'm not spiraling in all my unresolved crap) do believe in God, or creator or source or whatever word you want to use. I just don't believe in religious dogma. So where did that fear come from?

Especially since I've said to myself over and over that I'm not afraid to die. I'm not a fan of pain though so could we avoid that? The diagnosis just sent me into this twister of self hate, self doubt, mental self harm and it centered around my age and not feeling like I've done whatever I was supposed to do here.

Does anyone know that? A lot do, what about those of us that don't. There is a lot of emphasis put on following your path or purpose but not all paths are known. There is also a huge confusion with the earthly idea of purpose. They think of wealth being the goal. The mansion with 15 bedrooms, 20 baths and 4 pools (so small).

Your purpose could have just been to smile everyday. When we don't know it's easy to condem yourself for not doing it and then dying “bad”. Like I'm dying this young cause I've always been a fuck up. That's where my head went. That's when the fear set in. That's when I all of a sudden had the balls to start looking at things I wanted to do or change about myself and actually started.

For years I've had a victim (though I really learned to word it so it didn't sound like it) mentality about my relationship with anger. “This is what I learned from my mom”. Snap and scream. Twirling whirlwind thoughts that make it so when I walk away I can come back hours later and still be as angry and mean as I was before I went to “cool off”. 

It's a pattern that has kept me blissfully satisfied with what a horrible mess I am and why nobody should love me, I'm just not worth it. 

Aww a mother's love and teachings. Ha! I moved out at 18. This is hardly her doing at this point. It has much more to do with my belief in it. And instead of taking my grandmother's opposite words to heart I took the other and have struggled with so many deep dives into oblivion I can't count. I don't want to go there any more.

I know habits take a while to make and I've only just begun. Here's to taking a giant step towards the light and the love that awaits once I'm truly done with this incarnation. We've always been worthy of a beautiful afterlife, we just have to live it the best we can before we go.

Much love.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

yo hey! anon w the shit grammar who sent an ask earlier today

where i live has a HUGE south asian diaspora so ig that explains why it was picked? i honestly... look i hate 2 say this but i am so happy (and kinda shocked) no one has died yet across the uk.

it surprises me in the best way (well i do want those rioters dead, ur right, they ARE domestic terrorists).

i would vent on my blog but saying this much abt where i live on there is something im NOT comfortable w/.

its so much more real when it's u and ur hometown being targeted. rioters r not going down my road but they r scarily close and it makes me feel sick 2 my stomach.

uhhh anyway have such a great day. anyone in the uk seeing this, stay safe and, actually, fuck those rioters. they deserve to be treated with as much hatred and loathing they have for non-white brits, and that tenfold.

Hello again!!

Where I'm from also has that, but I think because it's like, so so so much of the overall population, they're either unable to rally enough people or they're a bunch of racist cowards who are too scared to face down a crowd who'll push back against them.

I was talking to my mom about it this morning because the night before last, they were planning to start shit around Bordesley Green but when the local community (who I believe were mostly Muslims) came out to defend against them, they scattered like rats on a sinking ship.

The few who remained attacked two people who were both on their own, minding their own business, and slashed some tires. Because they're a bunch of pissbaby racist cowards.

I can't remember where it's from but like, it's true that every coward feels courageous in the safety of a crowd.

But yeah no, every time I check the news and no one's died yet, it's like a comforting surprising. Like it feels miraculous that no one's died yet.

In my brain, I know they're not gonna be marching down my road anytime soon, but every time I hear like anything that could be coordinated voices, my head's picking up like I'm a dog who just heard the word walk. And it'll just be some kids on summer holiday.

You're welcome to vent via my blog anytime you need to, and that's an open invite for anyone who needs to vent about it <3

[hopelessrromantix]

Oh my god. Yet another teenaged afab asshole with internalized misogyny. Look, don’t worry about people interacting with your ‘writing’ (insert all the eye rolls). You may think you’re some huge talent that needs to swat hoards of unworthy readers away, but somehow I doubt that’s the case. I’ve never heard of you until I came across your unhinged tirade in a tag I follow. I suspect I’m not missing much. Also? You don’t get to speak for mlm because you’ve been identifying as a gay man for 5 minutes.

Good luck being angry at everything! Hope 2023 provides you with much fodder for outrage. You seem to live off it.

Hi! Allow me to introduce myself!

My (online) name is Roman, I'm a 19 year old transitioning gay man who has identified as such for 6+ years now. I am a writing major and screenwriter who also writes numerous essays on feminism in media and epidemic of women, POC, and LGBTQ+ people being mistreated and misrepresented! I've had several such essays reviewed as well as won numerous awards for my writing and live performances!

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'm no huge talent. Never in my life will i pretend to be more than a guy with like five friends on the internet just posting shit I wanna write. If you haven't heard of me, it probably means you were staying in your lane until now!

I, as someone who's been in several MLM relationships, feel disgusted and fetishized by women consuming sexual MLM content. Honestly, with how angry y'all get at men fetishizing women I would've thought you'd had more brain cells.

As someone who is fueled by rage, I'm sure better people than you will provide plenty of fodder. I'll die on this hill and looking like an asshole doing it just to protect my five gay friends on the internet. And I'll gladly post stuff like this so everyone can see just why I hate women interacting w my stuff.

I tag stuff as masc exclusive, you so weren't meant to find it. I put this in general tags because some people clearly don't get the message. Btw, I've gotten mostly dms about men agreeing. Keyword: MEN. Go ahead, ask any MLM writers. You've got the 'related blog' section right? Link a MLM masc writer this and watch how hard they laugh at you.

Since you clearly don't like my material it should be really easy to stay the fuck away! In fact, either you were already doing it or you're a fem person trying to feel whole again once we call you out for being a fucking fetishizing pervert. Your call.

I know it may be hard to believe, but fem aligned people don't own all of tumblr! Some shit isn't for you and I don't care that you, for some deluded reason, believe I'm misogynistic.

ill have a great time fueling the fires of my rages with idiots like you

[bumbleklee]

the date

masterlist | 1k prompt masterlist | family series

prompt: your roommate wins a competition for a date with kaeya alberich except...who the fuck is kaeya alberich? [based off this]

pairings: kaeya x gn!reader

warnings: some cursing, 2.5k words

You’re woken up at six in the morning to the incessant sound of fingers tapping against keys from the bunk bed above you. In your groggy state, you manage to kick the flat boards underneath the bed. “God, Lumine, do you even know what time it is?”

“It’s six in the morning,” Your roommate answers matter-of-factly. “But it’s eleven in the morning in England.”

You process her words, “Okay…?”

Lumine peels herself away from her keyboard to dip her head over the side of the bed, “Meaning they’re about to announce who won the Kaeya Alberich date!”

“Who the fuck is Kaeya Alberich?”

“Who the fuck is Kaeya Alberich?” Lumine closes her laptop and sends it down onto your own bed. She then climbs the ladder halfway before launching herself directly on top of you. You can barely groan before she’s rolling off of you and reopening her laptop. “Kaeya Alberich the bassist in [band name] — come on Y/N, we’ve been over this before!”

You blink slowly. Lumine was obsessed with a million different bands, how were you supposed to remember this specific one? You try to wrack your brain for any mentions of the performer of the band but nothing comes to you.

“I signed you up,” She continued casually. “You and Kaeya would get along so great.”

“What? Why me?” You finally sit up, accepting the fact that you won’t be going back to sleep anytime soon. “They’re your favorite band.”

Lumine flaunts heart-eyes at her screen, “My heart belongs to Ajax. I could never cheat on him.”

You want to remind your roommate you can’t cheat on someone you’re not with but with the way her eyes light up about the mention of the singer, you can’t bear to break her heart. Besides, you’re a good friend and Lumine is clearly excited so you can pretend to be excited too, at least, for like, a few minutes.

“They sent me a passcode to my email and in —” Lumine checks the time “ —ten minutes, this screen will change and a bunch of letters will pop up on screen. If my passcode matches theirs, then we won.”

“Hm,” You say. “Did you spend any money?”

Lumine shakes her head, “No money.”

You’re glad. Last time Lumine entered a contest revolving around a band, she spent three hundred dollars on a chance to get a signed blanket (spoiler: she didn’t win).

You zone out of the next ten minutes. You’re stuck in a state of exhaustion and awakeness and from the angle your head is at, you can see Lumine live-Tweeting from her laptop. You don’t expect Lumine to win. Honestly, you don’t expect anyone to win. Or maybe a bot will win. Either way, it won’t be Lumine and soon you can go back to sleep…

“OH MY GOD.”

“What?”

“I — you — I won the contest!”

You blink a few times and pick your head up. “You did?”

“You’re going on a date with Kaeya Alberich!”

“I am?”

Lumine is practically bouncing in her seat. There’s a huge smile on her face and you squint your eyes in the dark bedroom, seeing animated confetti being thrown across her laptop screen. There’s a mess of a word on the screen and Lumine is taking a video of it.

You don’t really want to go on a date with Kyle Alberich…no, Kaeya Alberich. But Lumine has already made it clear that she won’t go on the date because of her celebrity-boyfriend-that-doesn’t-know-she-exists. You wonder if you can sell the date and chuckle to yourself. ‘Want a date with Kaeya Alberich? I’ll give it to you for five dollars and an order of crab rangoons.’

“Y/N, are you listening to me?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry. What was that?”

“I said,” Lumine rolls her eyes at you, “They’ll be in contact with all of the details this week and the date will be sometime next month.”

“Oh, great,” You say. “Can I go back to bed now?”

When you’ve convinced Lumine that she can celebrate winning the contest later and that you both need to get some more sleep to conquer the day, you find yourself scrolling on your phone. His name, Kaeya Alberich, is trending on Twitter so you open the tag. There’s a million different photos of him from fan-pages and you spend a little too much time staring at each one. You’re not a shallow person, Kaeya is attractive. The more you think about it, the more you realize that you’d have to be stupid to turn down the date.

But you don’t even know Kaeya. He might be a total asshole.

(Lumine says he isn’t but what does she know? She thinks any man that breathes in her direction is husband-material.)

An hour later, you’re utterly fucked.

You shouldn’t have fallen down into the rabbit hole that’s Kaeya Alberich. You should have just ended with the assumption that he’s an asshole and you could pass on the date to some superfan and wipe your hands clean. Instead, you have seventeen tabs open on your own laptop and you’ve watched an hour of [band name] interviews on YouTube. Their albums have been playing in the background and you’ve stopped yourself from bouncing your foot more than one.

There’s no way to get around it: Kaeya Alberich is drop-dead gorgeous, extremely witty and charming, and suddenly you wouldn’t mind being his arm candy for a night.

Lumine sets up the date for you, which you’re grateful for mostly because you didn’t know what to say to the talent agency. And by the end of the week, the date is set for next month. You don’t get anymore information than that, only an access-pass to the agency and a time.

You spend the next few weeks diving into Kaeya Alberich even more. You probably know more about him than Lumine now — and that’s saying a lot. He seems like a national treasure, he really does, and you cross your fingers that’s not just a persona.

He has a cat. That means something, right?

When the day of the date rolls around, Lumine is more anxious than you are. She spends an hour picking out what you’re going to wear (“Kaeya likes the color blue, here’s a blue shirt”) and how you’re going to do you’re hair (“you want to keep it off your face so Kaeya can look into your eyes as many times as possible”) and even coaching you on how to act (“don’t fangirl too hard, Kaeya might get turned off”).

The drive to the talent agency is an hour long and you would be lying if you said you weren’t glad when Lumine finally parked outside the building. You loved her, you really did, but all she was doing was making you nervous. You take a deep breath and get out of the car, heading into the building.

Your fingers clasp around the access-pass, which you printed in black-and-white from the library that morning, and take in your surroundings. You’ve never been in a talent agency before but you weren’t expecting such…a normal building. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought this was a normal office building.

“Can I help you?”

You turn to the reception and an older woman smiles warmly at you.

“Oh, um, I’m here for…a date?” You hold up the access-pass and figure showing her what you were there for might be easier.

The woman’s face lights up, “You’re right on time! Let me tell everyone you’re here.” She picks up the phone on her desk and presses a button, waiting a moment before speaking into it. She’s talking quietly and you can barely hear her. “They’ll be down shortly. You can have a seat, sweetheart.”

You’re feeling nervous and excited and mostly terrified for this date. You’ve never been this nervous for a date before, so why was this particular one riling you up? Was it because the other person was famous?

“Hi.”

And there he is.

“You must be Y/N.”

Kaeya Alberich is so much prettier in person, so much that you’re suddenly a firm believer that pictures and videos don’t do him justice.

“Hi, yeah,” You say, standing up quickly. “Um, I’m Y/N. Sorry, you already know that.”

He laughs.

He fucking laughs and you think you’re going to explode.

“I’m Kaeya,” He says. “But you already knew that.” He looks over his shoulder to his, presumably, management and says, “I’ve got it from here. I’ll text you if anything happens.” And just like that, you’re alone with Kaeya Alberich.

You fiddle with the hem of your shirt, “Did you have anything planned?”

Kaeya shrugs his shoulders, “Not really. I figured I would let you choose.”

Oh great. You ponder the opportunity for a minute, “Do you want to get Chinese food?”

“This is your hometurf, lead the way.” You don’t have the heart to tell him you don’t live around here.

You start walking to the parking lot before you abruptly stop in the middle of the road. Kaeya bumps into the back of your heels and you turn around with tight lips. “I can’t drive,” You say flatly, “And I’m guessing you don’t have a car around here.”

“You’ve guessed correctly.”

You rub the back of your neck. The date is going south already.

“We can walk somewhere,” Kaeya adds, “I don’t mind.”

You drum your fingers against your thighs, “Alright. Let’s walk.”

So, you do. The nice thing about where the talent agency is located is that there is a downtown area nearby. Of course, it would have been nicer to drive to it, but the twenty minute walk isn’t horrible. Besides, there’s never a lull in the conversation with Kaeya.

“So, tell me about yourself,” Kaeya continues.

“Cliche much?” You say and Kaeya chuckles. “About myself? Hm…I’m a student at Howard, it’s a college nearby, and…I like going for long walks on the beach.”

“And you want to call me cliche?”

You shrug playfully, “What can I say? I’m a simple human. What about you?”

“I’m sure you know everything about me already,” Kaeya answers and you don’t miss the tinge of sadness in his voice.

“I’m sure I don’t,” You challenge.

“Alright,” Kaeya says, a crooked smile forming on his face. “Name’s Kaeya and I like butter pecan ice cream and going to the movies.”

“Interesting,” You say curiously. Going to the movies sounds fun. “See? I didn’t know that about you.”

Kaeya stretches his arms, “Don’t judge me now that you know my deepest secrets.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Talking with Kaeya is easy — much easier than you thought it was going to be. You learn a lot about him that you wouldn’t be able to find in some online interview, like how Kaeya is bitter towards his management for a multitude of reasons and actually doesn’t get along great with his one bandmate, Diluc.

You find a pizza parlor in town and it’s not the nicest place, but neither of you seem to mind. And despite acting like he had a figure to keep, Kaeya can eat.

“Pizza is my favorite food,” Kaeya says after ordering three separate pies. “But Zhongli can’t eat gluten or lactose, so I rarely get to have it when we’re all together.”

You nod your head and let Kaeya talk. You like his voice.

“Have you listened to our new record?”

“Yes,” You say quickly, almost too-quickly, “I love it.”

Kaeya grins. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” You feel yourself wavering slightly. Kaeya looks ecstatic and it’s not like you’re lying about the record, but you can’t help but feel like you’re lying about everything else. “I feel like I should tell you something.”

Kaeya cocks his head at you curiously, “Please don’t tell me you’ve been stalking me for the past three years and this was your big break to kidnap me?”

“What? No,” You laugh loudly and it reaches your eyes. When you’ve regained your breath you sigh, “I didn’t know who you were up until a month ago. My roommate entered the competition because she wanted us to meet or something. She said, and I quote, we would be great together.”

Kaeya snorts, clearly amused. “Your roommate wasn’t wrong about that,” He says. Before you can answer, he adds, “So, did you look me up or something?”

“Or something…” You trail off, feeling a bit embarrassed. You don’t want to admit how much you looked Kaeya up to prepare yourself for this date.

“Are you having a good time, at least?” He continues, “I’d hate for you to go all this way just to go on a date with a guy you don’t care about and have a horrible time.” Kaeya looks amused the whole time.

“I am,” You say honestly.

“That’s good news for me,” Kaeya answers, “Because I’m having a good time, too.”

A waiter brings over the pizzas and Kaeya dives into one of them, his face lighting up. You grab a slice and try to process what he’s telling you. He scarfs down two slices of pizza before you’ve even touched yours.

“You don’t like it?”

“No, no,” You assure him. That’s not it. The pizza is fine, it’s great even, it’s just the fact that Kaeya Alberich is enjoying himself on a date with you.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?”

You look up, “No, you didn’t. What made you think that?”

“You just went kind of quiet. I thought maybe I weirded you out.”

“You didn’t do anything,” You explain, “I’m just…surprised you’re having a good time.”

“Should I not be?” Kaeya raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t know,” You say, “Do you have to say you’re having a good time for publicity or something?”

Kaeya shakes his head, “Of course not. I’m really having a good time. You’re great.” He reaches across the table and wraps his large hand around your closed one, squeezing your fist once. “We’re eating pizza and having a conversation like humans. Makes me want to ask you out on a real date.”

You stare, “What do you mean ‘a real date’?”

“You know,” Kaeya says, “Like a normal date. Not one that’s through a contest.”

“Oh.”

“Is that something you’d want to do with me?” Kaeya wonders, his voice sounding shy.

You shrug, “I wouldn’t mind it.”

“Then it’s settled,” Kaeya grins, “What are you doing next weekend?”

You pretend to check the calendar app on your phone and dramatically tap your chin, “Hm…I think I’m going on a date with Kaeya Alberich.”

taglist (to be added)

@x-zho​ @makamarieaika​ @myaaki​ @skauxsa​ @kaz3yo​ @bookuya​ @angryhope​ @lordbugs​ @sleepykitty21​ @noctua-koi​ @byul-park​ @dazaisfavgf​ @antsn​