#fucked up things to tell your son 101

[remosss]

my piece for the few3h zine! this caspar scene in azure gleam was somethin else

[forgotten-daydreamer]

I'm sorry, but if the first thing you do to your dead-and-resurrected son after he reveals his identity is to beat him mercilessly, maybe consider therapy??

I get it, Jason did all sorts of stuff that's, how do I put it, frowned upon, but he went after people who trafficked children and sold them drugs- not after innocents or minor criminals.

"I'm what this city needs." sums his whole character up. If violence against the violent is what it takes to ensure the civilians' safety, then so be it.

Can you blame a kid who was raised in a house that was constantly on fire (fig.) because of drugs and abuse if he grows up to despise those things especially when kids are involved? Can you? I, for one, can't, and don't want to.

Jason was 101% right to do what he did. And he was 101% right for telling Bruce off for his clouded judgement and useless moral code.

Again, "I forgive you, for not saving me. But why on God's earth is he still alive? [...] I'm talking about [killing] him [the Joker], just him, and doing it because he took me away from you."

You can't not get what Jason means with those words, they aren't hard to decipher, there isn't any hidden message. Jason wanted Bruce, his father, to get rid of his son's murderer because said son was pried away from his father's hands, starved, tortured and blown the fuck up. A kid, barely a teen, was fucking killed, and his father brooded and mourned but didn't get shit done to avoid violating his own moral code.

I don't believe in the "once you start, you don't stop" myth, because trust me, if Bruce had let Jason kill the Joker, if he'd "supported" his decision (not like "Yes, do it!" but at least "I understand, I see your point, I won't stop you.") Jason would've probably stopped killing after that. Or, maybe he'd have stuck to major drug dealers and lowlives involved in human trafficking and underage prostitution- maybe only the ones that had been in and out of Arkham for decades and didn't show any remorse.

Jason would have, 101%, become less violent, less murderous, and less scared. He would've healed.

(BTW I love the whole Under The Red Hood arc and I'm happy that things went the way they did because, as a fic writer, I have lots of fun with all the angst! I love it, wouldn't have it any other way. Just- you know, just saying what could've happened!)

[argumentativeaxolotl]

Random Human AU Cars headcanons that probably don’t make any sense before I go to bed bc I can.

Lightning McQueen:

- Has accidentally called Doc “dad” before

- Has accidentally called Strip “dad” as well

- Bro can literally not stop moving- like he will not sit still and he tries so hard

- He has the shortest attention span ever if it doesn’t have to do with his friends or racing

- He actually really enjoys American Football and plays a modified version with Mater sometimes

- He was an orphan growing up

- Bro would 100% go apeshit feral if he lost a game of Uno

- Loves carnivals

- Dog person

- Forgets he’s rich sometimes and he can make his own decisions about money

- His love language is hugs and gifts

- He bought the Hot Wheels of his car and continues to buy every variation

Chick Hicks:

- Bit other kids as a child

- Filled water guns with lemonade and shot at people’s eyes

- Daddy issues(actually this is canon isn’t it?)

- Cat person

- Frighteningly good at card games like Casino “house always wins” levels of good. Like bro will somehow know what your cards are without even looking at them

- He put rocks in snowballs

- Alcoholic

- Loves anything horror, gorey, and True Crime

- He’s notoriously bad at getting people gifts, like seriously bro is not allowed to buy anything for anyone for Christmas or their birthdays that’s how bad it is(someone usually gets it for him)

- He probably has a huge gambling problem

- His love language is giving gifts

- He gives gifts as a form of apology because he’s shit at words

- Literally the best mustache in all of cars- like he keeps that thing at top condition 101% of the time

- He never actually finished school because his dad forced him into racing as soon as he could

- Probably had rabies at one point and somehow survived

- If you somehow manage to become a good friend of his, he’ll actually be super chill w/ you

- Rich as FUCK

Strip Weathers:

- Legally adopted Cal after his parents passed away(or sumn idk)

- Has several scars on his arm from the crash during the tie-breaker race

- He, Tex, Lynda, and Cal were practically inseparable after the crash

- He and Tex are literally the bestest of buds like they are homies to the MAX

- He doesn’t hold any ill-will against Chick even if he should and is allowed to

- The “Boy Scout” of racing(think Superman or Captain America)

- He listens to “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X while working with his horses. Cal cringes every time.

- He never swears unless he’s serious about something or is extremely upset or concerned

- He almost fainted when he met Doc for the first time, almost immediately asking for an autograph

- He has a ranch full of horses and enjoys horse racing as well as car racing

- Received an apology gift of both cologne and a miniature trophy from Chick

- He let Chick sign his cast after the crash

- He’s tried to teach Lightning and Bobby how to ride horses with Cal’s help. It did not go well

- He wanted to be a doctor for a little while before switching career paths

- Racing is literally in his blood(he comes from a very VERY long line of racers)

- Weirdly good at writing. Like for no reason.

- He heavily fanboyed over Doc when he was younger

Doc Hudson:

- He loves Lightning as his son

- He thinks of Sally as a surrogate daughter

- Unironically says “back in my day” whenever he’s telling a story

- He owns a shotgun and it’s hidden away in his house, far away from Lightning(who keeps trying to find it with no luck)

- He knows the most shit out of everyone and all their backstories. Bro hears the gossip and goes “nice”

- He loves watching fruit dissection videos on YouTube for some reason

- Bro is great at knitting. Like seriously. Give him ten seconds and you’ll have a whole ass sweater with a theme and everything

- He is an alcoholic(especially after his crash)

- Never got married or had children… until Lightning and Sally lmaooo

- He nearly started crying tears of joy when Lightning called him dad the first time

- He has several large burns and scars on his legs and lower back from the crash(like shit is really bad dude)

- His favorite movie is the original ghost busters

- He is a cat person

- He is a neat freak at heart yet gave up trying to clean out his garage because of all the bad memories

[hellbornsworld]

JUNGKOOK WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(3)₊˚✧ ﾟ.🐈‍⬛˚₊‧꒰ა ‧₊˚

˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀

🫧 Room 1997 | Ghost!Jungkook X OC | Gore | 34 Chapters | Duration-2h 27m | Completed

"Would you dare to go inside?"

🫧 cold world | General!Jungkook X Prisoner!OC | 𝗪𝗔𝗥 𝗔𝗨 ❦ 𝟮𝟬𝟰𝟰 | Dictatorship and Democracy | 40 Chapters | Duration-15h 58 m | Completed

❝The moment I put this ring on your finger, you became my property.❞

🫧 𝐒𝐄𝐗 & 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 | CEO!Jungkook X Employee!Reader | Fuckboy JK | Completed | Re-Uploaded in inkitt

"Do me Jungkook, p-please."

"With all the pleasure. I will fuck you, only fuck you with everything I have."

🫧 Two Percent Straight | Gay!Jungkook X Crossdresser!Reader | Side-Jimin X Reader | Crack AU | 75 Chapters | Duration-4h 45m | Completed

"I'm just 2 % straight y/n, but I can love you more than a hundred percent straight man"

🫧 HOLIDAY AFFAIR  | Husband!Jungkook X Wife!OC | PJM Vs JJK | Crack | 24 Chapters | Duration-3h 7m | Completed

"Admit it Jungkook, she'd rather sleep with me." Jimin Vs Jungkook

🫧 His Hostage | Mafia!Jungkook X Reader | Re-uploaded by other author | Duration-16h 57m | 85 Chapters | Ongoing

"fuck yourself... and let me watch"

🫧 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 | greaser!Jungkook x soc!reader | 1950S AU | 20 Chapters | Duration-2h 17m | Completed

❝She's a delicate little flower, hyung,❞ Jungkook grabs his leather jacket and slips it on. ❝And if anyone is going to hear sinful moans pass those innocent lips, it'll be me.❞

🫧 broken ghosts | Ghost!Jungkook X OC | Angst | 32 Chapters | Duration-4h 5m | Completed

"i have died everyday waiting for you."

"i should be the one lying next to you at night."

🫧 𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐘 | Jungkook X Stipper!OC | College AU | Dark | 131 Chapters | Duration-20h 6m | Completed

What's wrong with being a little chaotic? -J JK

🫧 𝗥𝗲𝗱 | Mafia+Ceo!JK X Reader | 53 Chapters | Duration-8h 18m | Ongoing

"That dress-" he says, eyes raking down your body. "-is 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 fucking distracting."

🫧 A Little Burden | Jungkook X Reader | 36 Chapters | Duration-3h 35m | Completed

I still remember that day clearly.....every night it comes back to me like a nightmare. The small fragile human getting pushed into my arms. Tears streaming down my face as I looked at her....Doctors storming in from everywhere trying everything they could to keep her alive. The look in her eyes she gave me made me break inside.

She knew she wasn't going to make it.

She smiled at me and took one last look at her child before speaking.

🫧 secret admirer | JK X OC | Angst | 101 Chapters | Duration-9m | Completed

" notice me senpai " - jjk

🫧 THE SACRIFICE | Yandere!Jungkook X Reader | Angst Abuse | 46 Chapters | Duration-6h 27m | Completed

A child must be sacrificed in order for the city to gain its happiness. a tale when doom and love are two sides of the same coin.

🫧 𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐘 | clone!Jungkook x reader | Clone Au | 20 Chapters | Duration-2h 11m | Completed

When the doctor tells the Jeon's that their newborn Jungsoo could die due to his premature birth, Mr. Jeon decides to clone him as soon as possible.

To their surprise, Jungsoo is able to grow up happy and healthy along with his clone, Jungkook, who's the total opposite of him.

🫧 petals  | BF!Jungkook X GF!Reader | Childhood Sweethearts | Fluff | 28 Chapters | Duration-39m | Completed

❝ -How much is your daughter? ❞

Jungkook loves food and computer games, but compare to those two you are his favorite thing in this world.

🫧 HELLBORN | LuciferSon!Jungkook X Human!Reader | Crack | 15 Chapters | Duration-2h 21m | Completed

He is the spitting image of an Angel but the blood in his veins is that of the Devil's.

🫧 Once More | Ex!Jungkook X OC | Angst | 33 Chapters | Duration-4h 22m | Completed

❝Your son, he looks very similar to Jungkook...❞

Leave it to a 3-year-old to bring two parents back together.

🫧 ROSES | Jungkook X OC | Angst | 54 Chapters | Duration-3h | Completed

❝ she slipped away the same way the velvet box slipped in my hand ❞ she was oddly peculiar and pure mystery yet, he still finds the refuge of feeling at "home" to the mute girl whom he met at the seaside.

🫧 The Prince & The Servant Girl | BFF+Prince!Jungkook X Servant!Reader | Childhood Au | 64 Chapters | Duration-7h 48m | Completed

A prince and servant girl grew up together in a castle. Best friends for life until that love as friends changed to something more. All was well until the prince was to be married and everything changed. Forever forbidden to be together but can one fateful reunion change everything?

🫧 Angel Beside Him | Jungkook X Reader | Angst | 48 Chapters | Duration-6h 24m | Completed

"Jeon Jungkook, I like you." You said, your eyes wide and cheeks on fire. You finally had the guts to tell your long time crush what you feel about him. Jungkook smiled, giving you a spark of hope and a wash of relief. Or maybe it was a false hope or just him being kind as he says, "I'm sorry but I'm already in a relationship."

🫧 Monstrously Sinful Love | Younger!Jungkook X Older!OC | AgeGap | 71 Chapters | Duration-9h 49m | Completed

"...Kookie" she calls that's when Kookie's small little hands tugged onto his mother's sleeve's pulling her to look at him.

"what's wrong Kookie?"

❝I want to buy her❞

🫧 That Awkward Magic | Werewolf!JK X Witch!Reader | Crack AU | 42 Chapters | Duration-4h 1m | Completed

"You smell very nice."

"Are you...trying to flirt or something?"

A socially awkard witch has to struggle with being the sudden love (?) interest of a wolf shifter

🫧 "IDC, BABY" | Jungkook X Reader | GangRivals | 21 Chapters | Duration-1h 16m | Ongoing

"If they catch us, they will kill us."

"I don't give a fuck right now, baby."

🫧 On.line | Staker!Jungkook X Camgirl!Reader | Dark | 38 Chapters | Duration-5h 36m | Republishing

"I don't call myself a pornstar, but I'm pretty famous on Live Babes (LB). I make money doing what people ask from me and they are mainly men, married man. Some even gave a wife or kids. But I don't care about that at all. The only thing I want is to continue earn their money. Oh! It's already 9PM! Don't forget to watch the show!"

"I can't wait, princess." -J.JK

🫧 Overmorrow | Idol!Jungkook X Reader | Crack | 33 Chapters | Duration-2h 8m | Completed

What would you do if one day you woke up as Jeon Jungkook?

🫧His Gangster Girl | Jungkook X Gangster!Reader | 68 Chapters | Duration-8h 57m | completed

'She is a maze with no escape.'

🫧 Fuck It List | BFF!Jungkook X Reader | 60 Chapters | Duration-5h 30m | Completed

• Go skinny-dipping

• Have a make-out session

• Try foreplay with ice .....

˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀

MASTERLIST is here for other recommendations

[burningvelvet]

more rambling thoughts about wuthering heights now that i've finished my re-read

1 wuthering heights is basically the looney tunes if the looney tunes were goth. 90% of the novel is people arguing, dying, and running around threatening to kill each other, and often all three of those at once.

2 love how it's filled with dark humor. "he's such a cobweb, a pinch would annihilate him" is such a camp thing to say about the terminally ill child you abhor and who you spend weeks trying to set up on dates with your dead lover's child so you can steal her property when your son finally dies. heathcliff lecturing his son on Seduction 101 right in front of cathy 2.0, trying ridiculously to play cupid and compel them to fall in love with each other before giving up and just kidnapping her instead... surely he's the most insane brontë man?

3 i can't remember what i had for dinner last night but nelly dean can remember what the weather was like on any given friday twenty years ago (love her and her snarky comments)

4 love how after nelly finishes telling the story to lockwood she's like "any way. so you know cathy 2.0 is single right ;)))" and then cathy 2.0 shows zero interest in him. so then he's like "oh i just remembered i have somewhere to be :/" then fucks off to london for nearly a year then when he comes back nelly is like "nvm as it turns out cathy and hareton are actually soulmates lol who knew! gee, it's a good thing she didn't like you!" and he's just silently suffering. emily was just fucking around here. hindley was the only linton/earnshaw/heathcliff who was wild enough to marry someone who didn't share either his gene pool or his neighborhood.

5 i imagine joseph to look like smeagol from the lotr films but taller

6 [heathcliff, after stabbing his alcoholic arch nemesis and then pushing his servant into the puddle of the blood] "Wash that stuff away; and mind the sparks of your candle—it is more than half brandy!” LMAO

7 this opinion list is just turning out to be a list of the most insane heathcliff moments but truly the novel should've just been called "heathcliff"

8 heathcliff's weird paternal feelings for hareton, saving hareton's life, him saying he would truly love him if only he wasn't hindley's child, basically giving hareton his blessing to love cathy 2.0 toward the end... so oddly endearing

9 heathcliff walking out just before the "i am heathcliff" part of her speech. why WHY

10 hindley protecting isabella from heathcliff before she flees was nice and i wish we saw more of their dynamic around the heights. honestly aside from the child neglect (which is par for the course in wuthering heights) hindley is a pretty sympathetic character; his rivalry with heathcliff was fueled by both sides and truly the fault of their father for pitting them against each other by letting heathcliff usurp hindley's place of favoritism as a boy. hindley's gambling and drinking, his general dissipation and failure to secure his son's future, are all tragic.

11 i think hindley/edgar/heathcliff are all interesting foils for each other; they each lose the women they love and are left to be single fathers, and each responds to the task totally differently. if we include mr. earnshaw, all the fathers in the story essentially fail their children after all the mothers die. hindley and heathcliff have a special parallel through their lifelong brotherly competition, the women they love both dying in childbirth, and in their own deaths. hindley slowly kills himself while ignoring everyone around him; heathcliff also kills himself, but only after trying to systematically ruin the lives of everyone around him. they also say that they want to kill each other but fail when they try; heathcliff nearly kills hindley but ends up saving his life at the last minute.

12 heathcliff jr. is so terrified of heathcliff sr. and so traumatized and petrified by fear and he doesn't deserve the hate he gets for being annoying. he's been sheltered his whole life, his mother just died, he was sent to his uncle/cousin only to be immediately torn away from them to be abused by a stranger who treats him horribly, he's terminally ill, he's still a kid, he's threatened into marrying someone he barely knows, etc.

13 if any of you have seen the british comedy show "the young ones" that's literally hindley's household in wuthering heights when joseph/hareton/hindley/heathcliff/isabella all live together. the filth, the slop for dinner, the petty games, the violence, the fierce hatred yet weird loyalty to each other, etc.

14 i really wonder how cathy would have reacted to heathcliff's treatment of everyone else if only she had known the full details (ie his harsh abuse of isabella, his son, cathy 2.0, etc.)

15 heights was my first brontë novel but i think i like jane eyre and tenant better now that i've read them all back to back! next on the list is likely agnes gray. anne, my underrated queen!

[according2thelore]

Foaming at the mouth over your OlderBrother!Sam!

I'm convinced that Sam will try (or threaten) John into taking full custody or his brother once he legally turns 18!

Sadly even if Sam manages to get Dean out of hunting, it's likely that Dean will still try to help his Dad in secret or even runaway to do it. (Just a HC)

hi, anon!!

ooh! that's super fun to think about!

i'm of the belief that sam would still go to stanford, even if he was the older sibling. in his mind, i'm sure he's thinking that john will be forced to step up now that sam isn't there to carry his extra weight. a trial by fire, of sorts. john will finally have to be a dad, and it'll be good for both he and dean, in the end. he loves dean more than he needs to breathe, but i can only imagine how much more the life chafes since he has the added burden of being the older brother.

BUTTTT

it would be absolutely fucking delightful if sam gets a call in the middle of the night from a hospital in georgia asking him if he knows a "dean cobb." john left his sixteen year old son behind at a motel to go hunt something else, and dean found a hunt in the neighboring town and decided he was going to try to take care of it himself. sam gets there--jess assuring him she can take care of rent next month, because sam has to use his half to buy a plane ticket to atlanta--when john does. sam decks him in the face right there in the parking lot, lays him out on concrete. and that's the "two years" they mention in the pilot that he hasn't seen sam. fuck. oh god oh fuck i have to write this.

anyway!

i still LOVE your idea!! i think if sam was going to stay behind from stanford--or fuck it, take dean with him to california--he'd have to keep it under wraps in the months leading up to it, because he knows john'll fight him tooth and nail.

when he's younger, he threatens john with it all the time. dean needs to be normal, and he needs to be safe, and he needs to join the goddamn wrestling team, dad, look at him, he loves being on a team. sam would make sure he'd get what he needed. sam would make sure that dean wouldn't have to sleep with a knife under his pillow and have salt perpetually underneath his fingernails.

sam has bobby draw up the custody papers, has bobby pull his strings to get a death certificate for their father, good enough to convince any judge that dean is legally his ward. and in the months leading up to him getting dean the fuck out of dodge, he is the perfect son. he picks a few dumb fights with dad to keep him from being suspicious, but he doesn't complain about dean's living situation once. he cleans the guns and hides his papers and makes sure he and dean's duffles are always packed.

agreed, even if sam manages to convince or trick dean into going with him to california, dean is not going to go quietly into that good night. he loves hunting, and loves that it's something secret and special and good his family does. hunting is the only thing that connects him to the mother he didn't know. it's the only way he can show that he loves her and that she mattered. he'd find small hunts around palo alto, and sam would get a call in the middle of his psych 101 lecture that dean hasn't been in any of his sophomore classes since first period. dean comes home--a family housing dorm that sam was able to plead his way into--with a busted lip and boots covered in grave dirt.

if john knows where they are, you bet your ass he's calling dean in the middle of the night, telling dean to hop on a bus and meet him in topeka for a wendigo case he really needs help on. he burned all of his other bridges with hunter contacts, and pastor jim & caleb are on the other side of the country. and dean jumps at the chance, desperate for his family to be whole again and thrilled to be useful. he leaves a note for sam, but sam is inconsolable until his fifteen year old brother walks back in the front door almost a week later, after a cross-country bus trip solo. "i'm not a civilian, sam." dean gripes, as sam chews him out for being reckless. "i can handle myself."

GAH! ageswap!au is endlessly fun and fascinating to think about for me, and i'm so glad you agree! thank you so much for the ask!!

and thank you so much for your patience!!! <3 and i'm so glad you liked these!

-lizzy (the post in specific anon is referring to) (and the other ficlet i wrote for it as well)

[quillofspirit]

2023 fic recs

If there's one thing to know about me, is that I love to read! and I love to share the good fics, so I figured I would put them all on one list💚

pssst! it's my first time doing anything like this, so if you have recommendations for the format, please do leave them in the comments or drop me a message! thanks xx

Key 🍬 fluff 🧯 spicy 🌡️ smut ⛈️ angst 🌪️ all

For people I have tagged, please let me know if there is anything you’d like me to add or remove — like a link to another account. It’ll be my pleasure☺️

Lord of the Rings (and related)

⛈️🧯Fuck the Forbidden pt. 1 by @entishramblings

Boromir x mermaidfem!oc Teens and Up but read the warnings carefully 9,500 words

Now I want mermaids in everything. why aren’t there mermaids in everything? The descriptions are so well done, everything is so vividly easy to visualize, oh I just loved it.

I am so hyped for pt 2!!

🍬⛈️ Healing Touch by @ass-deep-in-demons

Boromir x fem!oc Teens and Up 4,350 words

My film studies degree was very happy about the descriptions of movement in this one - it’s a little specific but hear me out. It’s much easier to see the actors playing the scene when it’s described this well! THAT ENDING, I have to say I joined Legolas, and I don’t have excuses.

I cannot wait to read the rest of the adventures of Joanna!

🍬 I Might Need to Kiss You by @fizzyxcustard

Thorin Oakenshield x fem!reader 400 words

I was squealing, this is so sweet. like the perfect little pick me up when you need a reminder, and Thorin is nothing if not a good king to his subjects 😇

🍬 Sweet Conversations by @glassgulls

Haldir x fem!reader Teens and Up 5,360 words

did I almost break my mouse when I clicked on this? noooo

Would I do it again? approximately 5 times since ☺️

Who doesn’t love sneaking around and kissing pretty elves, especially when they propose the idea so nicely… Just read it, you’re welcome

⛈️🧯Transformed by @sotwk

Thranduil’s son OC x fem!reader Teens and Up 2,400 words

There are at least two werewolves! When I tell you I read it three nights in a row, just to truly catch all the little things that made me go absolutely feral this so lovely to read. Yes, there’s gore (only a little bit) and there’s angst, but there’s also dialogue that would be made into gifs were it a movie.

Pirates of the Caribbeans

🌪️Catch the Wind by eriathiel (@esta-elavaris)

James Norrington x fem!oc Explicit 418,000 words

101 chapters of epic, pirates, and sweetness. The definition of you will suffer and you will like it. I finished this in like two days, because I couldn’t put it down, like a child on Halloween night going through their whole bag of candy.

⛈️🍬 Fallen Through Time by eriathiel (@esta-elavaris)

Catch the Wind AU Mature Ongoing; 34,000 words

12 Chapters so far, but it’s probably going to make me want to read everything about Theodora again. I am very normal about this character. 😌

Other fandoms

🌡️One of Those days by @capricornafterdark

Jason Todd x fem!reader Explicit 750 words

Sometimes you need to be taken care of, and sometimes its easier to take care of others.

🍬Patience by @velvetcloxds

Charlie Swan x fem!reader Just straight cuteness 600 words

A cute yet serious conversation with Charlie

🌡️That Takes Trust Darlin by @capricornafterdark

Jason Todd x transmasc!reader Explicit 1,950 words

It takes a lot of trust to tell a person about your desires, and even more when you spend your time catching villains.

🌪️ What Happens After You? by StrengthBeforeWeakness

Ominis Gaunt x fem!oc Mature 219,000 words

A badass Ravenclaw, sweet sweet Garreth, and dark!Sebastian. I am tempted to say it’s almost a Hogwarts Legacy AU because the lore in this fic is so incredible, it feels new again.

These are my headers and dividers, please do not use them.

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

TMNT Headcannons from across the universe!

These are just headcannons I have for characters that NO MATTER which universe they’re in, I truly believe these hc are real in my heart.

• Raph curses like a sailor (Yes even your precious rottmnt!Raph). He is usually 101% done with whatever bullshit they’ve gotten themselves into and has no need or want to put a filter up because of it. Though he tries not to curse too much if Master Splinter or small children are around, he’ll slip up once or twice if he gets too frustrated.

• On the flip side: Leo NEVER curses. But it’s not because he’s the older brother/leader and wants to be an example for his brothers (especially not rottmnt!Leo). But because he’s a little shit and likes watching his brothers cringe at whatever nonsense he uses to replace swear words.

• Leo: Aw shucks! This really ruffles my freathers! Looks like we really go ourselves in a pickle this time fellas!

• Raph, Donnie, and Mikey, sobbing: Please for the love of god just say FUCK!!!

• All of the bros can skateboard but Mikey is the best at it.

• Donnie’s always got to be a little messeed up in the head, mainly because his morality is a fucking rulet wheel. Like he can be the sweetest person you know but if the situation does not benefit his friends or family he does NOT care for it.

• It has been stated before many times that Mikey has the most raw talent amongst his brothers and I truly believe that if Leo hadn’t stepped up as leader Splinter would have assigned it to Mikey. But like also Mikey absolutely DOES NOT want to be leader.

• I firmly believe that Raph is good with kids; like if it were possible for him to live a normal life I wholeheartedly believe he would be a kindergarten teacher.

• Donnie does NOT like kids but kids seem to like him for some reason.

• Leo is okay with kids, he’s just really awkward around them and doesn’t know how he should act.

• Mikey absolutely adores kids and they adore him right back! He doesn’t speak to them in that condisending way that most adults do as if children are stupid and don’t understand anything happening around them. He talks to them like any other person and respects their opinions and ideas. If possible he’d probably have the biggest family out of all his brothers.

• Hates pineapple on pizza: Raph, Donnie, Casey

• Likes pineapple on pizza: Mikey, Leo, Splinter, April

• Casey Jones would NEVER in a million years EVER be a cop! (I don’t fucking care what the Bayverse movies say CASEY JONES WOULD NEVER BE A FUCKING COP!!!)

• Casey is trans and bisexual, always! Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong!

• Even if she isn’t a reporter/journalist in every universe, April O’Neil is always gunna be a bit nosey by nature and know ALL the gossip.

• April is either gunna be Bisexual or AroAce, no inbetween!

• With that being said, if April and Casey aren’t “romantically” involved with each other they are QPP because they’re soulmates and I love their dynamic together.

• Raph and Casey are also QPP! They are ALWAYS going to be best friends in EVERY universe!

• Leo is bisexual, always! Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong!

• Mikey is pansexual and genderfluid/agender/genderqueer/idk they got something going on with their gender cuz it sure as hell ain’t cis!

• Donnie is nonbinary because he has no time for silly things like gender, only science! His sexuality is a squiggly line hand wave that’s somewhere on the ace spectrum and your guess is as good as mine.

• Raph goes by he/they pronouns. That’s all anybody has ever gotten out of him and if they ask he always replies with: my gender is who fucking cares and my sexuality is who gives a shit!

• Much like April, Splinter fall under the line of either being bisexual or Aroace, no inbetween!

• Splinter may be pretty bad with technology sometimes but he absorbes languages like a fucking sponge. At minimum he knows at least 6 different languages.

• If given the choice to either save the world or his sons Splinter will always ALWAYS choose his boys. No hesitation what-so-ever! This rat man would rather fist fight god themselves then ever even CONSIDER losing his babies! He’s not the most perfect parent and he can be a bit strict at times but he loves his children so, so much! To him they ARE his entire world!

• Cat person: Mikey, Raph, April

• Dog person: Leo, Donnie, Casey

• Bird/Fish person: Splinter

• Epic Rap Battles of History!!! Autism (Donnie and Raph) vs ADHD (Mikey and Leo)!!!

• Raph listens to emo rock and grunge music

• Donnie listens to either classical music or heavy metal depending on his mood.

• Leo is actually just as good at playing video games as Mikey. He excels best at super fast paced rhythm games and complex puzzle games.

• Mikey actually kinda enjoys meditating but he HAS to have music playing in the background or else he gets bored and distracted.

• April, Raph, and Donnie have formed a gossip circle where they shit talk about people they hate.

• With proper motivation Baxter Stockman is the most terrifying villain in the TMNT universe because the man is fucking insane and doesn’t care if he has to hurt himself or others to meet his goal. We do not thank our lucky stars enough that he is a coward prone to being bullied by other overzealous villains to do their grunt work. The world would have been destroyed ten times over if it were not for that.

• I feel like all the turtles’ troubles could have been avoided if the Shredder would have just taken some anger management classes, yoga, weed, something and like vibed for at least 5 minutes. Like if he took the time to think over his plans more than once he’d kind of be like: Yeah okay, no, this is fucking stupid!

• Bebop and Rocksteady are gay and married.

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Untitled

This has been a strange week, A. I mean you know I have to talk to you today on my break at work (taking at least 2 today because it's sloooooow).

The Boy wrote his English 101 Dual Credit essay about you this week. He warned me.

"Mom, I have to write about 'an experience that made me appreciate life.' I'm gonna write about A dying. I really can't think of writing about anything else that won't come out sounding like bullshit. I still need you to look at it before I turn it in, because you're a writer and it makes me feel better when you say it's not shit, even though it comes with the Mom Discount. But I know it might like...upset you."

Of course I told him to write about you. I told him I wanted to read it (truth). I told him to actually print out a copy because I don't want it lost to the ethereal, nebulous world of online-only assignments; it's something my son made to honor my best friend. I want to save it forever. I want it immortalized (also truth). But it was fucking hard to read it. He took it hard when you died, and I knew he did before reading his school work (obviously), but Christ, how connected the two of you are. The locket J got me connects everyone in the center but you and the Boy are connected on a hinge side, and that locket pops open on that hinge at work all the time. So I'll look down and have to close it back up, and every time it's you and my son looking back at me. It's never you and my grandparents or J and my son, or J and my grandparents. It's always you and the Boy. You helped him so much. I want you to know that. He turned it in yesterday after titling it. 'Loss and Acceptance.' It's hard to title things. Especially when you write something important to you; something difficult to say; something attached to a lot of complex feelings. That's why my essay is untitled.

Then last night I sat on the couch with J and he cried watching a YouTube video of a BBC news capture of Jon Bon Jovi (right?) LITERALLY talking someone off a ledge in Nashville, Tennessee where he was shooting a music video. J cried. He leaves for his bike trip with W and the boys tomorrow morning. So this conversation happened:

Me: You ok? 🥺

J: 🥺😥 (hands over his phone with the video restarted; it was moving, but it didn't make ME cry)

Me: I'm lost. 🫤 I don't know what's getting to you this much. Text me? (J and I often text each other when our bodies are literally touching. Sometimes it's easier to not say it out loud).

J: (both of us are texting now) I dunno, peaches.

Me: Do you feel like...that? (that = suicidal) 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

J: No. Just got to me how many people walked on by.

Me: He didnt. ❤️🥹

J: Yeah. ❤️

Me: Is the stuff with your dad getting to you more than you're telling me? I don't want you to go off Saturday morning feeling so down. ❤️

J: I feel guilty about going. 🫤

Me: Why? Won't lie. I don't like it when you're away, but I want you to go see your friends. W. Fuck, I'd give everything I have except you and the Boy for a week with A right now.

J: That's kind of why. If I don't go, what if something happens to W before I get another chance to see him? Or me even? I'd feel like shit. So I have to go. But I'm leaving you and the Boy. And fucking G. That damn dog. Because what if something happens to one of us while I'm away? I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Me: We're fine. I promise. We just like having you around. Go be with W because...damn I really would give anything to be with A. For even an HOUR.

J hugged me until we all left the living room for bed. We made love last night before we went to sleep. And I dreamed all night about you. That you weren't really dead (again). Everywhere I went, when J was away on this trip, you were with me. 'I can't believe we're at a sushi place right now,' you'd say. 'What the fuck am I supposed to eat here?! Boy used to be on my side. What happened to pizza, man? Your mother finally infected you with her adventurous eating...' I'd look around at family dinner at my parents' house without J and you'd be there. Literally saying, 'I'm still here.'

I fucking miss you so bad. J has never gone away without you being there to text me off my metaphorical ledges and now you're not. Now I'm left with a bunch of people who will just pass me by. I'm so fucking ragingly envious of J that he gets a week with his best friend while I'm so desperately missing mine. I know the dream is supposed to be that I DO get a week with my best friend. That it's somehow 'better' in a way because you'll be right next to me, even in places you'd never ever go with me alive, but I still don't want you to be dead. I'd trade this intangible constancy even at the sushi joint for sporadic texts and bad Pearl Jam jokes in a heartbeat. I'd trade no sushi ever for pizza once a year with you. I'd certainly trade a visit to the fucking cemetery every few weeks to seeing you in person one more time, period. I'd still rather all of this be fake and you're not really even dead, just orchestrating a supremely elaborate scheme to avoid me.

There's every supposed stage of grief in one essay. Except of course for acceptance. That's why I had the Boy print his out for me. I'll keep rereading it until it takes. That still might be never. 💔😭

Anyway, love you, you fucker. I'll see you Monday at your place. ❤️

[feral-apostate]

alright so, i am only speaking of my own experiences and those close to me. im not about to try to be the end all be all of sex or first time or penetration sex. but these are some things i personally didn’t know until my late teens and made me deeply afraid of sex w penetration.

ok homies but the fact that i had to look up a video on the hymen to stop being afraid of sex is a major fucking sign that we need better sex ed in the goddamn usa. (i had one class for three days in 8th grade for my sex ed and it was only about STDs and abstinence - fuck USA and abstinence only sex ed)

my mom, my aunt, etc told me from a young teen age that sex is painful the first time, that sometimes there’s blood…fuck me that was terrifying!!

i was so scared of anything being inside me until i looked up a video that explained the hymen isn’t a fucking piece of skin that covers your entire vaginal hole that a dick or whatever has to pierce to have sex w penetration (i know i know “not a good enough reason to use the word penetration”-fat amy). do you know how painful that sounded or afraid it made me of sex? i was like, why the hell does anyone w a vagina ever want sex w someone w a dick if it hurts like that? it only sounds pleasurable for the person w a dick

hymens are different for everyone - some cover lots and some barely cover any of your hole/vagina/🤷🏻. hymens can wear away. it’s a shit way to tell virginity, which is a fucking social construct ya sons of bitches, and it’s majorly a way to scare those w vaginas about sex and make them think their first time HAS to be painful. it’s a way of normalizing a painful first time imo. but also everyone has a different first time and may view it differently - don’t let me make rules about how you view your sex life

i’ve fucked myself with small and large dildos and it’s never hurt when i used the right amount of lube and fingers for foreplay. there’s never been any blood. actually, fucking myself has made me less afraid of sex and taught me what i do and don’t want.

so here’s a PSA for anyone else out there wondering: sex DOES NOT have to hurt the first or anytime (unless you want it to/that’s your thing)

here’s a link to a scarleteen article that may be helpful for those having sex for the first time:

[kennyomegasweave]

Drunk as hell and finally watched 101 of Dangerous Romance.

I enjoyed this episode so much. I am so excited to see where this show goes. So excited. I had such a good time with this episode. Here are my real time thoughts.

I'm out here googling Thai baht to USD to try to make sense of these numbers and I'm Big Mad for Thailand.

They really said he lives with his elderly brother in the description online and that’s Papang. I'm furious. He's barely 30. 

I’m sorry what are these debts and why does a high schooler have to be concerned about them? Is it his brother's debts or their parents who may not be here?

Oh Perth has shown up being musty.

Aww, Auto's mom is like no you gotta make sure your friend eats. I already love her.

I'm sorry but these fuckass shorts are upsetting me. Perth is out here being menacing and hot but in fuckass shorts and I can't focus. I do know I already hate him and his friends though. 

Marc's character is already My Boy cause he is ready to fight and I love that.

HE IS NOT GONNA TAKE HIS $300 CONCERT TICKET OH I WANT HIM DEAD I WANT HIS FAMILY DEAD I WANT HIS HOME BURNED TO THE GROUND

I want you to know the gasp I just let out at them setting the ticket on fire was loud and dramatic and I MEANT IT. I also meant what I said when I said I want these boys to die, I want their families dead, and I want their homes burned to the ground. 

OH WE ARE LEGIT ONLY 15 MINUTES IN AND HAVE A FUCKASS TEACHER TOO. OH BITCH. OUT HERE CALLING A KID TO SNITCH. OUT HERE SNITCHING AND REPORTING TO A FUCKING TEENAGER. WHAT A WEAK ASS BITCH. 

Sailom, back up everything in the cloud next time. Because this fuck ass grown man is out here being a high schooler's bitch like that isn't the most pathetic thing ever.

Sailom is sassy and I love him. "Wanna be my heroine?" Yes baby. Call him out. Play Boys Like Girls Hero/Heroine.

Perth really is like KNEEL BEFORE ME like he's out of character Loki in The Avengers. That didn't go well for that Loki either sooo.

Are these dudes seriously watching her through the window? That's nasty as hell. My god. Also Perth you aren't needed either. I don't even know your relationship to her but leave her alone. Stop it. Leave her alone. Get a job.

You're trying to mack on a girl but also worrying about Sailom? You're so fucking gay and you don't even know.

WHAT DID THE CUNT TRIO DO TO MY BOY. WHY ARE THEY ALL LOOKING AT HIM LIKE HE DID SOMETHING.

Auto saying throwing water on him from above is a Japanese drama move. I saw them dump slushee on Kiyoi and Hira whooped ass so obviously I want Marc to kill them all.

HE SAID DO IT OPENLY NOT BEHIND OUR BACKS LIKE A BITCH. OH MY GOD. THIS IS MY BABY. HE IS MY SON. I NEED TO KNOW HIS CHARACTER'S NAME.

Not Perth's bitch ass friend being like if my hands weren't full I would have whooped them. Bitch there was a table right there, put your plate down if you bad.

Oh. This young man is just. I want him to get hit with a bat. I know I'm gonna love him (I never hated a man like I hated Ritsu at first and then I loved him in the end) but I want him to get his kneecaps taken out. SLEWFOOT THE BITCH. 

YES SAILOM PUTTING THE CARD BACK IN THE BITCH'S POCKET. I just said YES QUEEN ICONIC. IICONIC. outloud in my kitchen while drunk at 1:45AM. YES.

I don't even trust him with his grandma cause he's such a shit. He's like "oh where's dad?" Your dad probably don't wanna be near you cause you suck. Play Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood. 

Oh. His dad actually seems good? But I don't know if this is a cultural thing I'm not getting? Like his dad seems good to me cause he's like you don't want politics, just have fun and be a kid. But culturally is this his dad being like YOU A WEAK BITCH THAT CAN'T COMPARE. Because Perth seemed to be real upset about this. And grandma didn't look super happy.

This girl said "are you telling me to beat my dog I clearly love?" Because, once again, he's BOMBING with this girl and doesn't even seem to realize. lol

Auto risked getting fucked up hardcore to warn Sailom and he still showed up to save him. Oh these are my new favorite besties. 

DID THEY LOCK UP THE ANGRY ONE??? Of course they did. He would kill all of them. He just needs a gun. Someone give him a gun.

Did he really call this boy in front of a huge crowd and say take your shirt off and kneel at my feet. If you don't, I'm gonna take your shorts off too. Dude, this is something I feel like you gotta work out in therapy. This doesn't need a crowd.

He really is like WOW AUTO REALLY CARES FOR SAILOM THATS GAY. First, he clearly doesn't have friends at all. Second, my dude really needs to examine his own homoeroticism cause my god.

YES GOD AT SAILMON JUST KISSING PERTH INSTEAD. I have spent this whole episode in AWE of her queen shit.

I can’t wait to watch the next episode when I’m less drunk possibly. lol

[introvertbard]

@alpharaposa I have updated this post SO DAMN MUCH since January, lol. Check it out! https://www.tumblr.com/introvertbard/752832508636332032/your-weekly-reminder-that-ive-updated-my-nerdy

I remember vaguely seeing someone recommend "Check out endurance riding, they can go miles upon miles in a day!" And I was like "NOOOOOOOO, I distinctly remember telling my readers NOT to look at endurance riding for 'average traveling distances!'"

Endurance riding on horseback is the equivalent of marathon running for people, as noted above. Here's what a horse and rider pair needs to pull it off:

-They need to train for months/years to build up endurance, preferably in all sorts of terrain/weather--because my edited post mentions the very different circumstances that can cut "a day's travel" from twenty miles or so, to EIGHT MILES OR LESS. Average riding horses need anywhere from six months to three years to train and properly condition for an endurance ride. https://horseandrider.com/horseback-trail-riding/endurance-riding-101/

-They need the FREE TIME to train for months/years. If you and your horse have literally any kind of job, then that takes time away from your six to thirty-six months of training. If you're "a person with a horse," you have an 80-90% chance of being a farmer or having "a non-farming necessary craft." You have more things to do than ride laps all day, so your horse will not JUST be a riding horse--they'll have to pull plows/carts and carry smaller loads on their back.

And if you have a riding horse, you are likely a wealthy crafter, mercenary, merchant, or a noble, so you STILL have a job besides riding all day, even if it's fancier than farming or pottery. Nobles and mercenaries are warriors; nobles are also administrators and prettied-up farm managers; merchants and crafters have to spend a lot of time to GO FROM POINT A TO POINT B, and to MAKE STUFF.

That leaves "rich people who need to fill their time up," and that will likely be "spare relatives" of a wealthy person mentioned above--cousins, second/third sons, daughters, and well-liked in-laws.

-They would likely need A LOT OF FOOD to train for months/years. It was known for centuries that human athletes are really high-maintenance because they need so much food and time to learn their sports, and the preindustrial equivalent of sport-horses would be EVEN MORE high-maintenance than horses already are.

I mentioned in my original post that 10-20 scouting horses need hundreds of pounds of food at the end of the day, so that much fodder would likely only last one active and fit horse for... TEN TO TWENTY DAYS, no shit! Imagine finding all that hay and grain for half a fucking year! And if you're a human riding that horse, you're also going to need several pounds of HIGH QUALITY food a day.

I have heard people say that drastic increases in activity can make your metabolism panic, as they stuffed their faces but still ended up losing weight--which meant "losing their fat AND their hard-earned muscle as their body cannibalized itself, because they're STILL not eating enough."

If you are not rich in a preindustrial society, you cannot spend months wasting literal tons of human food and horse fodder with the goal of "EVENTUALLY going somewhere about 50-100 miles away, as fast as possible."

But people DID do long rides in preindustrial times, as my post about "medieval horses were NOT draft horses, horse riders and historians are begging you to stop using Clydesdales and Shires in the same sentence as 'knight'!" denotes. Say you're a scout, a messenger, or a light-cavalry rider who specializes in long and spirit-crushing rides as opposed to the classic battlefield charges.

You and your horse are gearing up for a 50-100 mile "race"--say you need to get across a wealthy noble's LARGE territory, or maybe you need to cross a border. But what will you still not have that a modern endurance rider does?

A HORDE OF PEOPLE SPREAD OUT ALONG THE PATH, READY TO HELP YOU OUT IF YOU TAKE A WRONG TURN, IF YOUR HORSE LOSES A SHOE, OR IF EITHER OF YOU GET INJURED.

The best case scenario for a preindustrial rider is that the territory is friendly, so they can stop every ten or so miles at a village/town/city to rest up and feed their horse. Worst-case scenario: It's NOT friendly territory, and they cannot stop with people around. You can rest in a forest or at the empty fringes of a settlement, but will that empty place have grain and hay for your famished horse? Will you go in disguise or steal fodder for your horse, and risk getting caught? That is when you're walking the line between CERTAIN death from exhaustion/fatigue, and UNCERTAIN death from "literally anything else that can happen over 50-100 miles of ground."

Preindustrial travel, and long explanations on why different distances are like that

I saw a post on my main blog about how hiking groups need to keep pace with their slowest member, but many hikers mistakenly think that the point of hiking is "get from Point A to Point B as fast as possible" instead of "spending time outdoors in nature with friends," and then they complain that a new/less-experienced/sick/disabled hiker is spoiling their time-frame by constantly needing breaks, or huffing and puffing to catch up.

I run into a related question of "how long does it take to travel from Point A to Point B on horseback?" a lot, as a fantasy writer who wants to be SEMI-realistic; in the Western world at least, our post-industrial minds have largely forgotten what it's like to travel, both on our own feet and in groups.

People ask the new writer, "well, who in your cast is traveling? Is getting to Point B an emergency or not? What time of year is it?", and the newbies often get confused as to why they need so much information for "travel times." Maybe new writers see lists of "preindustrial travel times" like a primitive version of Google Maps, where all you need to do is plug in Point A and Point B.

But see, Google Maps DOES account for traveling delays, like different routes, constructions, accidents, and weather; you as the person will also need to figure in whether you're driving a car versus taking a bus/train, and so you'll need to figure out parking time or waiting time for the bus/train to actually GET THERE.

The difference between us and preindustrial travelers is that 1) we can outsource the calculations now, 2) we often travel for FUN instead of necessity.

The general rule of thumb for preindustrial times is that a healthy and prime-aged adult on foot, or a rider/horse pair of fit and prime-aged adults, can usually make 20-30 miles per day, in fair weather and on good terrain.

Why is this so specific? Because not everyone in preindustrial times was fit, not everyone was healthy, not everyone was between the ages of 20-35ish, and not everyone had nice clear skies and good terrain to travel on.

If you are too far below 18 years old or too far past 40, at best you will need either a slower pace or more frequent breaks to cover the same distance, and at worst you'll cut the travel distance in half to 10 or so miles. Too much walking is VERY BAD on too-young/old knees, and teenagers or very short adults may just have short legs even if they're fine with 8-10 hours of actual walking. Young children may get sick of walking and pitch a fit because THEY'RE TIREDDDDDDDDDD, and then you might need to stay put while they cry it out, or an adult may sigh and haul them over their shoulder (and therefore be weighed down by about 50lbs of Angry Child).

Heavy forests, wetlands and rocky hills/mountains are also going to be a much shorter "distance." For forests or wetlands, you have to account for a lot of villagers going "who's gonna cut down acres of trees for one road? NOT ME," or "who's gonna drain acres of swamp for one road? NOT ME." Mountainous regions have their traveling time eaten by going UP, or finding a safer path that goes AROUND.

If you are traveling in winter or during a rainstorm (and this inherently means you HAVE NO CHOICE, because nobody in preindustrial times would travel in bad weather if they could help it), you run the high risk of losing your way and then dying of exposure or slipping and breaking your neck, just a few miles out of the town/village.

And now for the upper range of "traveling on horseback!"

Fully mounted groups can usually make 30-40 miles per day between Point A and Point B, but I find there are two unspoken requirements: "Point B must have enough food for all those people and horses," and "the mounted party DOESN'T need to keep pace with foot soldiers, camp followers, or supply wagons."

This means your mounted party would be traveling to 1) a rendezvous point like an ally's camp or a noble's castle, or 2) a town/city with plenty of inns. Maybe they're not literally going 30-40 miles in one trip, but they're scouting the area for 15-20 miles and then returning to their main group. Perhaps they'd be going to an allied village, but even a relatively small group of 10-20 warhorses will need 10-20 pounds of grain EACH and 20-30 pounds of hay EACH. 100-400 pounds of grain and 200-600 pounds of hay for the horses alone means that you need to stash supplies at the village beforehand, or the village needs to be a very large/prosperous one to have a guaranteed large surplus of food.

A dead sprint of 50-60 miles per day is possible for a preindustrial mounted pair, IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HAVE TO. Moreover, that is for ONE day. Many articles agree that 40 miles per day is already a hard ride, so 50-60 miles is REALLY pushing the envelope on horse and rider limits.

NOTE: While modern-day endurance rides routinely go for 50-100 miles in one day, remember that a preindustrial rider will not have the medical/logistical support that a modern endurance rider and their horse does.

If you say "they went fifty miles in a day" in most preindustrial times, the horse and rider's bodies will get wrecked. Either the person, their horse, or both, risk dying of exhaustion or getting disabled from the strain.

Whether you and your horse are fit enough to handle it and "only" have several days of defenselessness from severe pain/fatigue (and thus rely on family/friends to help you out), or you die as a heroic sacrifice, or you aren't QUITE fit enough and become disabled, or you get flat-out saved by magic or another rider who volunteers to go the other half, going past 40 miles in a day is a "Gondor Calls For Aid" level of emergency.

As a writer, I feel this kind of feat should be placed VERY carefully in a story: Either at the beginning to kick the plot off, at the climax to turn the tide, or at the end.

Preindustrial people were people--some treated their horses as tools/vehicles, and didn't care if they were killed or disabled by pushing them to their limits, but others very much cared for their horses. They needed to keep them in working condition for about 15-20 years, and they would not dream of doing this without a VERY good reason.

[fugazitn]

Shadow the Hedgehog

Hello all, I will say that I will stop cursing god cuz he/she/they fucking won. I've woken up the last 3 days with a 101 fever which is really bad for me specifically cuz my normal resting temp is 97 degrees (im cold blooded). So it is scary that you can be fine one day and then fighting for your life the next. I suppose since I never croaked I should be thankful for the chance to survive. I will not be, no fucking way I needed to wake up on Monday and be struggling to eat applesauce or even drink water. Meanwhile in my minds eye im like if i move faster than a centimeter a second im guaranteed to pass out and if i eat the wrong thing I knew it was coming back up. This is some terrible design, I plan on voting, I only want like 2 people to die (for good and valid reasons) and i never say bullshit like well my mother is gay or nothing I just take the bullet for when I fuck up in life so I expect boosted immune system or some shit when this is all over. Would I type up all of this just cuz im probably too sick to stream and want to talk to you all and think that I likely don't have the stamina to go back and forth within the discord? ..Yes but also I was already becoming slightly ill day by day and then I got a covid shot and a flu shot on saturday and to be Tian, that was the beginning of the end. I get it now. Naw I was mad illogical my whole sick episode. I was taking the style out of my hair because I just was having mad headaches due to the shit being mad heavy but I kept getting flashes of sakura cutting her hair with the Kunai. Being sick is some devilish work I tell ya. They even tried to put sakura against me like this gotta be what was happening in the old testament which had niggas tweaking trying to kill their own sons and was zapping bellies and making the pregnant. To experience some bullshit and to gain sympathy for those from a bygone era means that I am human. The really really really really funny part about all of this is that i finished my stream of shadow generations on sat and I didn't feel at 100% but i was at a cool 70% and like everyday after that I start at 25% and then slowly get to 60% by the end of the day. Shadow was created to help find a way to cure Maria how di he chaos control my sickness?? There's probably something deeper within this that can suggest being delulu is the solulu perhaps is a thing to look into. Ever since then i've been too sick to even ignore it therefore its impossible for me to get the delusional buffs. Dude like as I tried to work today, (I only was able to do a half day cuz naw), my body just decided to sweat like every 5 mins on a timer and it was so weird cuz it wasn't hot and it actively made my situation worse. I could feel the stamina leaving my body. The just Lock In Mantra was being combatted by involuntary actions coincided with imagery of crumbling self control. I have faith in my body when healthy but I am human like the rest of you. A faith easily tainted, a nightmare unharmoniously awoken from. I say all of this to say is that shadow is the most raw character ever to exist and if you get vaccines while sick it is extremely likely you will become and antivaxxer because I didn't think we made suffering like that no more to be completely honest. There's so many halloween things going on but im sick and I don't wanna spread it. I can't even take my cans up front I should probably be thinking about other things huh?

[hollowhereitcounts]

Stupid cunt.

Fucking piece of shit.

Nag hooker.

That’s what I get called. I try and talk about the fact that these things are not equal. That this is not ok. I try and tell him that just deciding to take a 2 hour break when we have a child is wild. He wants to tell me he plays with his son all the time and I never do. I’m just taking care of him?! Like I’m carrying THE ENTIRE load of care. When exactly can I play. The five minutes he decides to play is when I can finally put laundry in but go off I guess.

I sometimes genuinely wonder if he still loves me. I listened to our wedding song this morning. I was happy. I keep thinking about how much I love him and then this happens and I don’t even understand. I’m literally an idiot. I keep coming home like a fool every day hoping things will be different—completely believing the ideas in my head. Reality hits so hard

Stupid worthless cunt. Disappointment as a wife.

His words. Not mine. I am not always thrilled with myself but I wouldn’t say that about me.

“You didn’t tell me what needs to be done.”

Bro. Literally what the heck? You are an adult man. You should know. You should not be looking at me a to assign you chores like your freaking mommy?!

Like I’m really happy you play with our son but you won’t feed him. You won’t change him. You won’t dress him. Won’t rock him down (anymore)…? But yeah you’ll push him around in his car for 25 minutes. Pardon me if I feel the scale is a tad unbalanced.

I can’t believe he equates me occasionally forgetting to flush the toilet and accidentally leaving the basement light on with him straight up DIPPING most evenings. Like yeah. They’re the same. For sure.

I don’t even know what to think. He is just trying to hurt me when he says these things. I thought I was special and strong enough and chosen… and whatever else. Surely I can help…

Nope. I just get told that I don’t respect him and I don’t ever treat him right because apparently wanting to not carry the majority of the load of housework, meal prep, and child care is basically Bad Wife 101.

Everything would be so much easier if you just recognized that the day isn’t over until he is down. Occasionally needing a break is one thing. But it’s every other day. Come ON.

I told him I would document this. I’m tired of this. I’m literally tired of this. He doesn’t believe me. I am so so tired of this.

[jungle321jungle]

My Complete Sanders Sides Fics

All of them here. In a single list.

Other Masterlists - My Ao3

Virgil’s Guide To Avoid Falling In Love With Your Boss’ Boss

Virgil’s just trying to fake his way through life, but when he finds it hard to shake his hot boss’ boss’s attention- on account of their adopted sons being twins- things get complicated.

Put On A Brave Face

When Virgil was told he needed to attend a party at Lord Ekan’s household he didn’t have high expectations by any means. Parties were just a place for rumors and whispers to circulate and for him to smile and pretend as if nothing bothered him, they were a space he rather avoid. But even so Virgil never regretted that party in particular, not when it changed his life entirely.

Slither Into My Heart (Gorgon AU)

Deceit didn’t bother to knock as he slammed the door open and glared down to wear Remus sat on his bed polishing his morning star.

“What did you do?” Deceit hissed.

Remus gave him a large smile as he looked him up or down, “Do you have the snakes just up there or are they down below too?”

If asked by Patton later, Deceit most definitely did not try to strangle the other side in that moment. Not all.

Also known as: Deceit is turned into a Gorgon. And the new annoying little snakes on his head seem to have an annoying obsession with Virgil.

Ask No Questions (I’ll Tell No Lies) 

An Agent and a Con Man.

With such conflicting backgrounds it almost seemed laughable for the two to be soulmates. Fate had chosen this, but Logan had chosen to arrest the man across from him no matter what.

How To Fuck With Humanity 101 (only on Ao3)

Roman wants an audition to go well, and when he accidentally finds an immortal hovering in his bedroom who promises everything will go his way if he does ridiculous tasks? He does them.

Roman is the first human to interact with Virgil in years, so he agrees to help, but it doesn’t mean he can’t have some fun with it.

As Cold As Stone

Dante Ekans’ newest case is a twenty one year old murder. It’s witnesses have remained silent all this time. So Agent Ekans seeks to change that.

He pokes, he prods, he bluffs, he lies, and he digs too deep.

But maybe the witnesses were silent for a reason.

Forms Of Family

No one alive knows how Dee manages to raise five kids primarily on his own. He's not sure himself, but having some of the best kids in the world makes it a whole lot easier.

[bidisasterevankinard]

8, 14, 19, 26, 60, 89 :)

hi vaughn <333 thank you

101 questions

8. Do you look up to anyone in your life?

My sister because she also was raised in the same way as me but came really amazing person and mother. She is really good in her career and family, she succeeded a lot in both(she is only 32, she has a husband and two sons, who loves and cherish her. she has bachelor and master degrees in geography. she is the second person in administration in her school. she is amazing teacher who is loved by her students). she is just amazing!!!!!! It's sometimes hard to have 10 years gap, but at the same time I'm happy I have such a gap with her because she taught me a lot

14. What petty event are you still embarrassed about?

as a kid I was really talkative but like never knew where to shut up. So I like embarrassed about all my childhood

19. Do you swear?

yes, on both English and Russian. and I even know some words on German. I mean it's in my blood. not that I swear a lot or in front of kids or something like that. but i can do it and sometimes i have periods when i just do it more constantly than not. also as a linguist i can tell that swear words are not such an "enemies". people created them for a reason as all other words. gave then emotional meaning and then made taboo themselves. if people would stop say it's taboo to say it and just use it as emotional words(because we need words like "fuck" to scream when we are in pain or just excited or smt like that) problem about swearing would be solved. such an emotional words helps us to explain out emotions, let them out. ofc you don't have to swear if you don't want to, but it's really not such a big deal

26. What does your favorite tattoo mean to you? Or if you had to get a tattoo, what would it be? Why?

I'm planning to have "Love me anyway" tattoo soon because i feel it too deep not to put it on my body(trauma from never being enough you know). then I also love two other quotes from 911 "if matter to you most is how other people see you then you haven't learned a dam thing" and "there's no locked rooms anywhere where with right tools and enough time you can't get into." first on pretty easy means for me "do not let others to say to you how to see yourself" and second one is like "never give up" but also let you know that maybe try other ways or tools and be patient if you really want to achieve it.

I also really wants to have bracelet tattoo with a pulse to remember that I always can do that I love till I'm alive and i should do WHAT I WANT (trauma speaking again). also i just want to show off this tattoo to my parents faces

(i need money*sobs*)

60.Early, on time, or late?

When i was a kid, and mostly nowadays too, I prefer to be early, because you know anxiety and I just hate to be late. But sometimes I lazy and/or depressed and I stays in bed till I will come somewhere on time or even late

89. Do you feel too hot or too cold more often?

When I was a kid and even as teenager (less tho) I was mostly hot, except in teenage-hood (somewhere since 14 I had cold hands and sometimes cold foots on winter). Now after I lost weight and try to be more plant based I runs cold most of the year except late may-early october (even tho bad days with really cold rainy days happens)