#fucked up things to tell your son 101

[remosss]

my piece for the few3h zine! this caspar scene in azure gleam was somethin else

[forgotten-daydreamer]

I'm sorry, but if the first thing you do to your dead-and-resurrected son after he reveals his identity is to beat him mercilessly, maybe consider therapy??

I get it, Jason did all sorts of stuff that's, how do I put it, frowned upon, but he went after people who trafficked children and sold them drugs- not after innocents or minor criminals.

"I'm what this city needs." sums his whole character up. If violence against the violent is what it takes to ensure the civilians' safety, then so be it.

Can you blame a kid who was raised in a house that was constantly on fire (fig.) because of drugs and abuse if he grows up to despise those things especially when kids are involved? Can you? I, for one, can't, and don't want to.

Jason was 101% right to do what he did. And he was 101% right for telling Bruce off for his clouded judgement and useless moral code.

Again, "I forgive you, for not saving me. But why on God's earth is he still alive? [...] I'm talking about [killing] him [the Joker], just him, and doing it because he took me away from you."

You can't not get what Jason means with those words, they aren't hard to decipher, there isn't any hidden message. Jason wanted Bruce, his father, to get rid of his son's murderer because said son was pried away from his father's hands, starved, tortured and blown the fuck up. A kid, barely a teen, was fucking killed, and his father brooded and mourned but didn't get shit done to avoid violating his own moral code.

I don't believe in the "once you start, you don't stop" myth, because trust me, if Bruce had let Jason kill the Joker, if he'd "supported" his decision (not like "Yes, do it!" but at least "I understand, I see your point, I won't stop you.") Jason would've probably stopped killing after that. Or, maybe he'd have stuck to major drug dealers and lowlives involved in human trafficking and underage prostitution- maybe only the ones that had been in and out of Arkham for decades and didn't show any remorse.

Jason would have, 101%, become less violent, less murderous, and less scared. He would've healed.

(BTW I love the whole Under The Red Hood arc and I'm happy that things went the way they did because, as a fic writer, I have lots of fun with all the angst! I love it, wouldn't have it any other way. Just- you know, just saying what could've happened!)

[argumentativeaxolotl]

Random Human AU Cars headcanons that probably don’t make any sense before I go to bed bc I can.

Lightning McQueen:

- Has accidentally called Doc “dad” before

- Has accidentally called Strip “dad” as well

- Bro can literally not stop moving- like he will not sit still and he tries so hard

- He has the shortest attention span ever if it doesn’t have to do with his friends or racing

- He actually really enjoys American Football and plays a modified version with Mater sometimes

- He was an orphan growing up

- Bro would 100% go apeshit feral if he lost a game of Uno

- Loves carnivals

- Dog person

- Forgets he’s rich sometimes and he can make his own decisions about money

- His love language is hugs and gifts

- He bought the Hot Wheels of his car and continues to buy every variation

Chick Hicks:

- Bit other kids as a child

- Filled water guns with lemonade and shot at people’s eyes

- Daddy issues(actually this is canon isn’t it?)

- Cat person

- Frighteningly good at card games like Casino “house always wins” levels of good. Like bro will somehow know what your cards are without even looking at them

- He put rocks in snowballs

- Alcoholic

- Loves anything horror, gorey, and True Crime

- He’s notoriously bad at getting people gifts, like seriously bro is not allowed to buy anything for anyone for Christmas or their birthdays that’s how bad it is(someone usually gets it for him)

- He probably has a huge gambling problem

- His love language is giving gifts

- He gives gifts as a form of apology because he’s shit at words

- Literally the best mustache in all of cars- like he keeps that thing at top condition 101% of the time

- He never actually finished school because his dad forced him into racing as soon as he could

- Probably had rabies at one point and somehow survived

- If you somehow manage to become a good friend of his, he’ll actually be super chill w/ you

- Rich as FUCK

Strip Weathers:

- Legally adopted Cal after his parents passed away(or sumn idk)

- Has several scars on his arm from the crash during the tie-breaker race

- He, Tex, Lynda, and Cal were practically inseparable after the crash

- He and Tex are literally the bestest of buds like they are homies to the MAX

- He doesn’t hold any ill-will against Chick even if he should and is allowed to

- The “Boy Scout” of racing(think Superman or Captain America)

- He listens to “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X while working with his horses. Cal cringes every time.

- He never swears unless he’s serious about something or is extremely upset or concerned

- He almost fainted when he met Doc for the first time, almost immediately asking for an autograph

- He has a ranch full of horses and enjoys horse racing as well as car racing

- Received an apology gift of both cologne and a miniature trophy from Chick

- He let Chick sign his cast after the crash

- He’s tried to teach Lightning and Bobby how to ride horses with Cal’s help. It did not go well

- He wanted to be a doctor for a little while before switching career paths

- Racing is literally in his blood(he comes from a very VERY long line of racers)

- Weirdly good at writing. Like for no reason.

- He heavily fanboyed over Doc when he was younger

Doc Hudson:

- He loves Lightning as his son

- He thinks of Sally as a surrogate daughter

- Unironically says “back in my day” whenever he’s telling a story

- He owns a shotgun and it’s hidden away in his house, far away from Lightning(who keeps trying to find it with no luck)

- He knows the most shit out of everyone and all their backstories. Bro hears the gossip and goes “nice”

- He loves watching fruit dissection videos on YouTube for some reason

- Bro is great at knitting. Like seriously. Give him ten seconds and you’ll have a whole ass sweater with a theme and everything

- He is an alcoholic(especially after his crash)

- Never got married or had children… until Lightning and Sally lmaooo

- He nearly started crying tears of joy when Lightning called him dad the first time

- He has several large burns and scars on his legs and lower back from the crash(like shit is really bad dude)

- His favorite movie is the original ghost busters

- He is a cat person

- He is a neat freak at heart yet gave up trying to clean out his garage because of all the bad memories

[hellbornsworld]

JUNGKOOK WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(3)₊˚✧ ﾟ.🐈‍⬛˚₊‧꒰ა ‧₊˚

˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀

🫧 Room 1997 | Ghost!Jungkook X OC | Gore | 34 Chapters | Duration-2h 27m | Completed

"Would you dare to go inside?"

🫧 cold world | General!Jungkook X Prisoner!OC | 𝗪𝗔𝗥 𝗔𝗨 ❦ 𝟮𝟬𝟰𝟰 | Dictatorship and Democracy | 40 Chapters | Duration-15h 58 m | Completed

❝The moment I put this ring on your finger, you became my property.❞

🫧 𝐒𝐄𝐗 & 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 | CEO!Jungkook X Employee!Reader | Fuckboy JK | Completed | Re-Uploaded in inkitt

"Do me Jungkook, p-please."

"With all the pleasure. I will fuck you, only fuck you with everything I have."

🫧 Two Percent Straight | Gay!Jungkook X Crossdresser!Reader | Side-Jimin X Reader | Crack AU | 75 Chapters | Duration-4h 45m | Completed

"I'm just 2 % straight y/n, but I can love you more than a hundred percent straight man"

🫧 HOLIDAY AFFAIR  | Husband!Jungkook X Wife!OC | PJM Vs JJK | Crack | 24 Chapters | Duration-3h 7m | Completed

"Admit it Jungkook, she'd rather sleep with me." Jimin Vs Jungkook

🫧 His Hostage | Mafia!Jungkook X Reader | Re-uploaded by other author | Duration-16h 57m | 85 Chapters | Ongoing

"fuck yourself... and let me watch"

🫧 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 | greaser!Jungkook x soc!reader | 1950S AU | 20 Chapters | Duration-2h 17m | Completed

❝She's a delicate little flower, hyung,❞ Jungkook grabs his leather jacket and slips it on. ❝And if anyone is going to hear sinful moans pass those innocent lips, it'll be me.❞

🫧 broken ghosts | Ghost!Jungkook X OC | Angst | 32 Chapters | Duration-4h 5m | Completed

"i have died everyday waiting for you."

"i should be the one lying next to you at night."

🫧 𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐘 | Jungkook X Stipper!OC | College AU | Dark | 131 Chapters | Duration-20h 6m | Completed

What's wrong with being a little chaotic? -J JK

🫧 𝗥𝗲𝗱 | Mafia+Ceo!JK X Reader | 53 Chapters | Duration-8h 18m | Ongoing

"That dress-" he says, eyes raking down your body. "-is 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 fucking distracting."

🫧 A Little Burden | Jungkook X Reader | 36 Chapters | Duration-3h 35m | Completed

I still remember that day clearly.....every night it comes back to me like a nightmare. The small fragile human getting pushed into my arms. Tears streaming down my face as I looked at her....Doctors storming in from everywhere trying everything they could to keep her alive. The look in her eyes she gave me made me break inside.

She knew she wasn't going to make it.

She smiled at me and took one last look at her child before speaking.

🫧 secret admirer | JK X OC | Angst | 101 Chapters | Duration-9m | Completed

" notice me senpai " - jjk

🫧 THE SACRIFICE | Yandere!Jungkook X Reader | Angst Abuse | 46 Chapters | Duration-6h 27m | Completed

A child must be sacrificed in order for the city to gain its happiness. a tale when doom and love are two sides of the same coin.

🫧 𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐘 | clone!Jungkook x reader | Clone Au | 20 Chapters | Duration-2h 11m | Completed

When the doctor tells the Jeon's that their newborn Jungsoo could die due to his premature birth, Mr. Jeon decides to clone him as soon as possible.

To their surprise, Jungsoo is able to grow up happy and healthy along with his clone, Jungkook, who's the total opposite of him.

🫧 petals  | BF!Jungkook X GF!Reader | Childhood Sweethearts | Fluff | 28 Chapters | Duration-39m | Completed

❝ -How much is your daughter? ❞

Jungkook loves food and computer games, but compare to those two you are his favorite thing in this world.

🫧 HELLBORN | LuciferSon!Jungkook X Human!Reader | Crack | 15 Chapters | Duration-2h 21m | Completed

He is the spitting image of an Angel but the blood in his veins is that of the Devil's.

🫧 Once More | Ex!Jungkook X OC | Angst | 33 Chapters | Duration-4h 22m | Completed

❝Your son, he looks very similar to Jungkook...❞

Leave it to a 3-year-old to bring two parents back together.

🫧 ROSES | Jungkook X OC | Angst | 54 Chapters | Duration-3h | Completed

❝ she slipped away the same way the velvet box slipped in my hand ❞ she was oddly peculiar and pure mystery yet, he still finds the refuge of feeling at "home" to the mute girl whom he met at the seaside.

🫧 The Prince & The Servant Girl | BFF+Prince!Jungkook X Servant!Reader | Childhood Au | 64 Chapters | Duration-7h 48m | Completed

A prince and servant girl grew up together in a castle. Best friends for life until that love as friends changed to something more. All was well until the prince was to be married and everything changed. Forever forbidden to be together but can one fateful reunion change everything?

🫧 Angel Beside Him | Jungkook X Reader | Angst | 48 Chapters | Duration-6h 24m | Completed

"Jeon Jungkook, I like you." You said, your eyes wide and cheeks on fire. You finally had the guts to tell your long time crush what you feel about him. Jungkook smiled, giving you a spark of hope and a wash of relief. Or maybe it was a false hope or just him being kind as he says, "I'm sorry but I'm already in a relationship."

🫧 Monstrously Sinful Love | Younger!Jungkook X Older!OC | AgeGap | 71 Chapters | Duration-9h 49m | Completed

"...Kookie" she calls that's when Kookie's small little hands tugged onto his mother's sleeve's pulling her to look at him.

"what's wrong Kookie?"

❝I want to buy her❞

🫧 That Awkward Magic | Werewolf!JK X Witch!Reader | Crack AU | 42 Chapters | Duration-4h 1m | Completed

"You smell very nice."

"Are you...trying to flirt or something?"

A socially awkard witch has to struggle with being the sudden love (?) interest of a wolf shifter

🫧 "IDC, BABY" | Jungkook X Reader | GangRivals | 21 Chapters | Duration-1h 16m | Ongoing

"If they catch us, they will kill us."

"I don't give a fuck right now, baby."

🫧 On.line | Staker!Jungkook X Camgirl!Reader | Dark | 38 Chapters | Duration-5h 36m | Republishing

"I don't call myself a pornstar, but I'm pretty famous on Live Babes (LB). I make money doing what people ask from me and they are mainly men, married man. Some even gave a wife or kids. But I don't care about that at all. The only thing I want is to continue earn their money. Oh! It's already 9PM! Don't forget to watch the show!"

"I can't wait, princess." -J.JK

🫧 Overmorrow | Idol!Jungkook X Reader | Crack | 33 Chapters | Duration-2h 8m | Completed

What would you do if one day you woke up as Jeon Jungkook?

🫧His Gangster Girl | Jungkook X Gangster!Reader | 68 Chapters | Duration-8h 57m | completed

'She is a maze with no escape.'

🫧 Fuck It List | BFF!Jungkook X Reader | 60 Chapters | Duration-5h 30m | Completed

• Go skinny-dipping

• Have a make-out session

• Try foreplay with ice .....

˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀➷˖°࿐ •⁀

MASTERLIST is here for other recommendations

[burningvelvet]

more rambling thoughts about wuthering heights now that i've finished my re-read

1 wuthering heights is basically the looney tunes if the looney tunes were goth. 90% of the novel is people arguing, dying, and running around threatening to kill each other, and often all three of those at once.

2 love how it's filled with dark humor. "he's such a cobweb, a pinch would annihilate him" is such a camp thing to say about the terminally ill child you abhor and who you spend weeks trying to set up on dates with your dead lover's child so you can steal her property when your son finally dies. heathcliff lecturing his son on Seduction 101 right in front of cathy 2.0, trying ridiculously to play cupid and compel them to fall in love with each other before giving up and just kidnapping her instead... surely he's the most insane brontë man?

3 i can't remember what i had for dinner last night but nelly dean can remember what the weather was like on any given friday twenty years ago (love her and her snarky comments)

4 love how after nelly finishes telling the story to lockwood she's like "any way. so you know cathy 2.0 is single right ;)))" and then cathy 2.0 shows zero interest in him. so then he's like "oh i just remembered i have somewhere to be :/" then fucks off to london for nearly a year then when he comes back nelly is like "nvm as it turns out cathy and hareton are actually soulmates lol who knew! gee, it's a good thing she didn't like you!" and he's just silently suffering. emily was just fucking around here. hindley was the only linton/earnshaw/heathcliff who was wild enough to marry someone who didn't share either his gene pool or his neighborhood.

5 i imagine joseph to look like smeagol from the lotr films but taller

6 [heathcliff, after stabbing his alcoholic arch nemesis and then pushing his servant into the puddle of the blood] "Wash that stuff away; and mind the sparks of your candle—it is more than half brandy!” LMAO

7 this opinion list is just turning out to be a list of the most insane heathcliff moments but truly the novel should've just been called "heathcliff"

8 heathcliff's weird paternal feelings for hareton, saving hareton's life, him saying he would truly love him if only he wasn't hindley's child, basically giving hareton his blessing to love cathy 2.0 toward the end... so oddly endearing

9 heathcliff walking out just before the "i am heathcliff" part of her speech. why WHY

10 hindley protecting isabella from heathcliff before she flees was nice and i wish we saw more of their dynamic around the heights. honestly aside from the child neglect (which is par for the course in wuthering heights) hindley is a pretty sympathetic character; his rivalry with heathcliff was fueled by both sides and truly the fault of their father for pitting them against each other by letting heathcliff usurp hindley's place of favoritism as a boy. hindley's gambling and drinking, his general dissipation and failure to secure his son's future, are all tragic.

11 i think hindley/edgar/heathcliff are all interesting foils for each other; they each lose the women they love and are left to be single fathers, and each responds to the task totally differently. if we include mr. earnshaw, all the fathers in the story essentially fail their children after all the mothers die. hindley and heathcliff have a special parallel through their lifelong brotherly competition, the women they love both dying in childbirth, and in their own deaths. hindley slowly kills himself while ignoring everyone around him; heathcliff also kills himself, but only after trying to systematically ruin the lives of everyone around him. they also say that they want to kill each other but fail when they try; heathcliff nearly kills hindley but ends up saving his life at the last minute.

12 heathcliff jr. is so terrified of heathcliff sr. and so traumatized and petrified by fear and he doesn't deserve the hate he gets for being annoying. he's been sheltered his whole life, his mother just died, he was sent to his uncle/cousin only to be immediately torn away from them to be abused by a stranger who treats him horribly, he's terminally ill, he's still a kid, he's threatened into marrying someone he barely knows, etc.

13 if any of you have seen the british comedy show "the young ones" that's literally hindley's household in wuthering heights when joseph/hareton/hindley/heathcliff/isabella all live together. the filth, the slop for dinner, the petty games, the violence, the fierce hatred yet weird loyalty to each other, etc.

14 i really wonder how cathy would have reacted to heathcliff's treatment of everyone else if only she had known the full details (ie his harsh abuse of isabella, his son, cathy 2.0, etc.)

15 heights was my first brontë novel but i think i like jane eyre and tenant better now that i've read them all back to back! next on the list is likely agnes gray. anne, my underrated queen!

[middlingmay]

WOTA Halloween Event: Fic 2

Undercover Lover (5K)

Whilst undercover at a horse ranch trying to catch a serial killer before they strike, John loses and bet that puts him and Gale in the hot seat. Once the case has been solved, they have to pay up.

Read on AO3 or read below.

Fuck, have I missed writing fluff! @trashbag-baby666, hope it does the Criminal Minds Au justice!

"No. Nuh-uh. I didn't promise you a damn, thing. I am not doing that. Egan!"

John jumped where he was talking to the manager of the ranch, Red Bowman. One look at the glower Gale levelled his way and the twitch at the side of his eye had him making rushed apologies and jogging over.

"What's up, Buck?"

That goddamn nickname. It was going to haunt him beyond this case and well into the future, he knew it.

Gale thrust his finger at the sparse bundles of fabric, tasselled boots and bright coloured leather clutched by the grinning ranch hands, Will Quinn and Joseph Payne.

"You got anything to do with this?"

John took one look at the miscellaneous leather and suede and his hands jumped into his curls, started pulling and playing. One of his rare nervous gestures.

"Ah. Yeah. About that. I was gonna tell you, Buck, but I got a little side tracked. Potential killer on the loose and all that—"

"What. Did you do?"

Joe piped up helpfully. "He made a bet!"

John's hand, making violent slashing motions across his throat, fell limp and he smiled sheepish.

"And what, exactly, does that have to do with me?"

John was already walking backwards. "Well, uh, y'see Buck. 'Member when you did that race not long after we first got here? Me and the boys, we just made a friendly bet. That's all."

"Egan." Gale advanced on him step for step.

"And it's not my fault! I didn't think you'd lose! You told me you were good on horses and I just thought—"

"We were undercover! 101: you don't show everyone your full hand!"

"I know that but—"

"What was the bet?"

"Uh…"

John stumbled into a low-set rounded table, the kind for setting drinks on when you were sitting on a haybale. He sprawled over it on his back and Gale hauled him up by the collar of his shirt and growled in his face.

"What was the bet?"

"Buck, please don't be mad."

A horrified pit opened up in Gale's stomach. There wasn't a moment since they met where John wasn't 100% assured that his charm would get him out of trouble. For him to be asking mercy from Gale already meant nothing good.

"John."

Will answered for him, though his voice shook with mirth he at least tried to contain. "Oh, it's not that bad. You just gotta dance in the show is all!"

"Buck." John pleaded with his hands out. But it was no good. All the dimpled smiles, twinkling eyes and curling hair couldn't save him now.

Gale pulled him closer. And goddamn that son of a bitch because even now, Gale watched his eyes spark up with interest. Well, he would squash that under his boot, yes he would.

"You got ten seconds before I come after you, Egan. Get."

John tore out of there in a blur of straw and dust.

One week earlier.

“You cannot be serious.”

Gale had one arm folded over his chest, hooked into the elbow of his other whilst he worried his chin with his knuckles.

“I’m afraid so, Cleven.”

“I am a Special Agent with the FBI.”

“If there was another way—”

“I am in the BAU. Our business is catching serial killers. Not…this.” He cast the object of his offence such a scathing, withering, vicious look, Harding was surprised it didn’t just go ahead and burst into flames and save itself the trouble.

John, always a perfect counter to Gale, sat slouched and spreading in one of the chairs. He slapped his hands happily against the oiled wooden arms. “Ah, come on, Gale! Live a little. They don’t look so bad.”

Something at the side of Harding’s eye twitched. He knew Egan wasn’t doing this because he wanted to, or thought it was a good idea. He was doing it because he wanted to see Cleven, well, in a way none of them had ever seen him before, frankly. Or had ever really wanted to.

Apart from John.

A large, rectangular box sat on his desk. Inside was a frankly indecently tight pair of blue jeans, a belt with a garish buckle, and a set of boots he'd been told were supposed to look 'distressed' because they'd be made immediately if they turn up on a ranch wearing immaculate footwear.

Gale, apparently deciding to switch tactics, looked at him wide-eyed and soft. It was a staggering, devastating contrast to his lethal gaze just moments before. Harding didn't know how John had been able to stand it for so long, given how head over ass he was about the other man, trying to act like he wasn't.

"I am not the only member of this team," he pleaded. "Why does it have to be me—"

"Born in Wyoming to a farmer father and a farmer mother, with farmer grandparents on both sides. Several strong lines of thoroughbreds and good racers came out of Cleven Ranch, until it went into foreclosure. For a few years afterwards, local people still advertised the lineage of their horses as hailing from Cleven Ranch."

Gale's silence was furious.

"Cleven. No one knows this environment like you. No one else can be lead on this. And you know that. This is your job. To use our expertise and our insights into human behaviour to catch serial killers."

Gale's silence was defeated.

So Harding dropped the other bomb. "But you won't be going in alone." From underneath his desk, he plucked another box and dropped it down into the lacquered surface with aplomb.

An almost identical outfit lay inside, but bigger: bigger chest size, bigger waist band, bigger boot size. They'd had to modify the calf of the boots in fact, to fit Cleven's partner in the undercover investigation.

John's face dropped as Harding beamed at him. Gale looked like he didn't know if that made things better or worse. Neither did Harding.

Boxes tucked under their arms, John and Gale stormed out of Harding's office, and though a few tentatively called after them, no one braved stopping them as they marched out the bull pen.

Gale was so intent on stewing that he didn't notice John yanking open a door, and nearly lost his feet when he was shoved inside.

John sat his own box on a dark metal table, and wrestled Gale's away from where he clutched it to his body. It was a feeble barrier between him and John, anyway.

But John didn't touch him. And it irked and endeared Gale in equal measures that John knew how to read him so well after so short a time of finally giving in to this thing between them.

Then again, he and John had been building their intimacy for years. No one knew them better. Not Marge. Not Curt. Not even their mommas.

It's why John cut straight to the quick, forgoing his usual delighted frolicking through as much bullshit as he could find.

"What's got you so upset?"

And even though it was John, Gale's reaction was still automatic. "I'm not upset."

"Gale I have seen cats freshly dragged from the river that look happier than you right now."

Gale scowled.

"I've literally seen serial killers staring down a life sentence look less upset."

"Fuck you."

John tutted. "Not at work, jeeze. Show some restraint, Gale."

And goddamn him again, but Gale couldn't have stopped the smile from creeping up his face if his life depended on it.

Now John touched him. He settled his hands on the dip of Gale's waist and pressed in soft, before slipping them round his back and smoothing them up and down his spine.

"What's going on in that big ol' brain of yours, hm?"

"This all just seems…unnecessary. There hasn't even been a body. No one's even missing. It's just a few letters and—"

"—and Crosby swears up and down dead they're genuine. Same person. Same indications of some deeply fucked up pathology. You 'member when Huglin was here, and he ignored Croz the last time he said he was sure?"

Gale balked and reeled back. It remained the bloodiest shit show he'd ever had to deal with on the job. And the beginning of the end of Huglin's career.

"So," John prompted with a nudge of his nose on Gale's. "What's the real issue?"

Gale let himself fiddle with the large silver button stitched into a small strap at the bottom of John's jacket. It wasn't that horrendous woollen beast he loved so much, thank God. He wouldn't get rid of that thing for nothing. Not even when Gale asked nice.

"It's…it'll be the first time I've been back on a ranch since…"

Since the last time he saw James Cleven, and his mother, and the horses he loved so much growing up.

John, pushing his luck inside the offices of the BAU, pulled Gale a little closer and rested their foreheads together.

"I can't make that better for you," he said like it upset him, and Gale hated that he'd upset him. "But like Harding said, you won't be alone. I'll be there the whole time."

Some of the tension finally seeped out of Gale's shoulders, letting them slump and inch or two.

"And think about it Gale, y'get to see me try and ride a horse. Me. Can you imagine it?" Gale's cheeks crept up his face again and he huffed out a reluctant laugh. "What poor horse deserves to have my butterball ass bouncing around holding on for dear life, huh?"

Finally Gale laughed properly before he poked John in his ribs, lined nicely with protective fat and muscle. "Stop talking about yourself like that." It was an old warning. "Nothing wrong with you. I like the way you look, and all your buttery bits."

John threw his head back dramatically. "Oh, now you've done it. Oh, it's coming."

"What?"

"No choice, Gale. I'm gonna have to kiss you."

"John." Gale hissed and looked around the closed room like someone had somehow managed to sneak in after them.

"Nuh-uh. Not getting out of this one. Target locked and bombs away, Cleven."

Gale snorted at the utterly ridiculous sentiments this man managed to let fall out of his mouth. "Idiot."

"Mhm. Your idiot." And then John was kissing him. His hands had crept up from rubbing soothing lines into Gale's back, to clasping each side of his neck, the thumbs gently stroking up the side of Gale's face. His lips were soft but urgent: John rarely kissed him like he was something gentle and Gale loved it.

He let his own hands come up the clutch at John's wrists and thumbed along the bony protrudences and the coarse hairs peeking out from where the sleeves of his jacket had ridding up.

A small suckle on Gale's bottom lip that John had never been able to resist and he pulled back. But not before Gale got a little nip in, stuttering John's breath out of him.

Gale got a real good look at him. "You sure you're up for this?"

He'd been cleared for duty for months, but this would be the most active John had been in the field since…

John's eyes twinkled at his fussing. "Yes, ma. Got a note from doctor and everything."

Gale pushed him and John let himself be pushed. At least, Gale thought about this whole affair, at least John's first time back in such intensive field work, he'd have Gale to watch his six.

And he would. Nothing would happen to John whilst he was around.

"Alrighty!" John said plucking up his own box from the table, and Gale groaned to hear the shitty fake southern accent he really should have been expecting. "Let's get and saddle up, partner. It's a long pony trek back to the farm."

"You're going to get shot within five seconds on that ranch if you so much as think about keeping that voice, John."

"Aw, come on!" John giggled. He did it far more than a grown man should but it warmed Gale to hear it, always. "No good?"

"I didn't think much would be worse than what you did in New York, but I was wrong."

"Gale."

"You're from Wisconsin, John. Accept it."

Present day.

The leather pants were red, dashed through with white lines that tried to speak of an age they didn't have. There were no tassles, thank God. Only a few fixed to the black suede boots that hit below the knee. They'd shoved him into a black cotton shirt a full size to small for him and unbuttoned it down below the breastbone. He had to stop himself from pressing the gaping fabric against his chest in some feeble defence of modesty.

He'd tried to get out of it. He'd been at his manipulative, Special-Agent-with-the-BAU best, but it hadn't worked. His desperation had been too strong and too amusing. He'd thought that when they realised he really was a terrible dancer, they'd surely let him bow out of it then. But no. They'd promised him that dancing with a group could hide a multitude of sins and shoved Gale into the first number: a simple line dance to warm up the crowd. Too bad his footwork was the worst part of all. The rest of his body moved alright, but he was too conscious of his feet and nearly took more tumbles than there were minutes in the song.

But they were here, now. All avenues of escape exhausted.

The crowd fell into dead silence as the lights went down and the dancers took their place on the stage.

Gale's heart jackrabbited inside his chest and he promptly forgot everything a team of people had tried to teach him all afternoon.

The squeal of a fiddle and the lights snapped on, and Gale had once lain on the floor with a serial killer on top of him trying to choke the life out of him and had been less frightened than this.

The snap of a dozen heeled boots hitting the floor in time jolted Gale back into himself. Mercifully, it worked out like they promised and the other dancers were able to move him along and make up for his false start and stumbling misstep trying to get back in line.

He grit his teeth and persevered and stumbled through it. One sequence simply involved turning on one foot, hitting a full circle quarter by quarter, and circling his hips over and over the whole way around. Gale was in the middle of the line, and when that part came up the dancers either side of him broke off, and jeering and hollering sprang up from the audience.

"Shake it!"

"I'll ride that bronco any day!"

"Excu—he is an officer of the law, ma'am!"

Gale smothered his laugh, and managed to get through the rest of the number without falling on his ass. A hard-won victory, he thought.

At the end they took a bow, and Gale fled the elbows nudging at his ribs and the hands slapping his back before they tried to rope him into something else. He spotted the safety of Chick Harding and the rest of his team sitting at a table in the middle of the floor, and made a beeline for them.

He didn't make it unscathed. The tables were packed in tight, and more than one set of stray fingers found their way to his ass to try and pinch him through the leather.

He could arrest them all in a second. But Harding would kill him for screwing up relations with the locals. Maybe he'd tell John, see how Chick liked it then.

Crosby was shoving an ice cold ginger beer at him before he even sat down. Gale loved Crosby, he really did. He drained nearly half the glass, partly out of thirst and partly out of an inability to look his team and his boss in the eye after gyrating in stage in leather pants in front of them.

He gently placed the glass on the table. He held up one long, stern finger. "Don't—"

"Where'd you learn to move your hips like that?"

"Kenny."

"How, more to the point?" Helen eyed him contemplatively. "Those pants are tight, Buck."

"If a case ever takes us to a strip club, we know who's up." Gale gaped at Crosby's betrayal. He turned to Chick, pointing.

"This has to be workplace harassment."

Harding checked his watch. "We've been off the clock for five hours, now. So I don't know what you're talking about, Cleven."

"Then normal harassment!"

Marge petted his shoulder. "You want to talk about harassment? You should really be looking at those pants of yours."

Gale shifted in his seat. "Why anyone wears these by choice, I don't know."

"Oh, honey," Marge cooed in her finest brand of condescension. "The leather pants are not for you."

Kenny grinned around the straw and whatever liquor he was sucking down with flushed fervour. "They're for us."

"Kenny!" Kenny flirted something rotten with John, and that was nothing compared to the eye-fucking shenaniganry that he and Curtis Biddick got up to whenever he was in town, but Gale was rarely on the receiving end.

Helen reached over and tried to take Kenny's drink from his hands but he squirmed and batted her away.

"Give it."

"No."

"Kenny!"

"Stealing's wrong. Ask Chick. Chick!"

Harding sighed around the frankly obscene cigar puffing away in his mouth. "Kids, play nice. Or I'll turn this barn around."

Thankfully, as the next few acts took to and left the stage, the team focused less on ribbing Gale and more on the performers, and waiting eagerly for John who'd been tasked with the second last number of the show.

John, naturally, had taken to their rehearsals like a duck to water, but when it came to doing them in costume, he'd demurred. Gale thought it would remain one of the oddest things he'd see in his life for a long time. He didn't know John was capable of it, if he was being honest.

"Don't want to ruin the surprise, Buck," he'd said, looking at the floor and blushing.

Blushing. The same man who not three days before had cornered him in an empty stables and muttered filthy things in his ear about what else Gale could ride whilst sticking his hands down his pants.

Gale blushed too and crossed his legs. He shot Harding a shifty look, momentarily worried he could read Gale's thoughts. He couldn't very well complain about harassment when he was getting pulled off on the government's dime by his colleague with whom he was in an undeclared, clandestine relationship.

The acts stretched on. Some singers warbling sentiments about home and hearth that never really resonated with Gale. More musicians and dancers. One 'strong man' who tried to lift a donkey but had to dive out of the way as it aimed a kick at him and proceeded to shit all over the stage as it ambled off. Gale applauded the donkey, if nothing else.

Then finally, the lights dimmed once again and the announcer called out the next act.

"Alright, folks, we've got a real treat here for ya, today. Now don't say we don't listen to you. After complaints last year about always puttin' women in the riskier numbers, we thought we'd switch it up for you. So please, welcome to the stage, Bucky."

The lights came up, and there, on the 31st October 2024, Gale Cleven died.

Bucky stood all in white. White leather hot pants. White leather boots than came over the knee. And a sheer, white tank that did nothing to hide the dark coils of his chest hair or the flushed pinkness of his chest. Gale knew that John perspired a lot when he was physical, so he knew that the shirt was only going to get more see through as his number went on.

"Damn."

"Kenny!"

Kenny was undaunted by the admonishments of the table. Helen finally managed to wrestle his glass off him but he only stole Harding's, who took it back and forced Helen to return her prize.

But the three of them could have rolled around in an all out brawl for all Gale knew. He could not, would not, take his eyes off John.

The number was clearly a regular around here. The crowd were already clapping and singing the opening bars with fully lubricated enthusiasm. Even Chick's leg was thumping to the beat.

And John strut. His long legs swallowed up the stage easily. His first move was to leap onto a crate, hands on his hips, and look over the crowd. Everyone hooted and whistled, and Gale had a momentary flash of wanting to break some fingers.

John sank down to his knees, the leather providing soft padding between them and the rough wood of the crate. His hips pulsed to the song and he swung the long tassels fixed to the belt of his shorts in a loop.

He dived into a roll on the floor, and only then did Gale notice he had two women dancing with him, too, dressed up in sturdy denim deans and thick plaid shirts, and grinning like they were having the time of their lives watching John—

God. Lifting his pelvis off the floor and winking at the crowd.

Some pathetically meek sound slipped passed the prison of his lips. Crosby and Marge grinned at him all teeth, and Gale regretted one of rare evenings drinking almost a year ago when he spilled his guts about his crush on John.

The dance seemed to go on forever, but Gale felt like he'd only blinked before John was leaping off the stage to steal a woman's white Stetson from her head. Right there, in front of her whole table, John held onto that hat on his head with both hands and rolled and rocked his hips, dancing just out of reach of their stretching grasping fingertips.

Using those long legs to step back on the stage effortlessly, John stood with his back to the crowd and threw the hat. The song was reaching it's final crescendo, and the other dancers each grabbed one side each of John's flimsy, sodden shirt. The crowd belted out the last words of the song, and just before the lights went out, the women pulled and tore John's shirt right off his body. He left them all with one bare glimpse of the shiny, sweaty, muscle-lined skin of his back.

The crowd erupted into applause. The team, except Chick, leapt to their feet yelling their praise, but even their boss was chuckling under his breath and banging his now empty glass on the table.

Gale couldn't move. He could only stare at where Bucky had been, even as the muted lights between acts came back on as they prepared for the last part of the show. It was only when Harding clasped his shoulder with one meaty hand that he snapped out of it.

"We're leaving for the plane in ten. Go get ready, and hurry Bucky up, too."

Nodding numbly, Gale staggered away from the table and drifted backstage.

Backstage was really just a small annex for stalls affixed to the main barn. It was practically empty, with the last performers ready to take the stage and everyone else either in the wings or in the crowd to watch them. Only one of the stalls, used as make-shift dressing rooms, was occupied. Right at the back.

He heard John shuffling round from within. As Gale rounded the thick wooden beam running floor to roof, he saw John bent over his kit bag, still dressed in his outfit. Without the shirt, obviously. Gale watched his muscles shift and move. He watched droplets of cooling sweat glisten and roll over fuzz and goosepimples and freckles.

He watched John cock his hip and the flesh of one ass cheek bunched up. The shorts hadn't held up; how could they under that kind of strain? They'd ridden up and Gale now got to bask in the glorious view they left behind.

"Like what you see, Buck?"

Gale snapped his eyes back and and John grinned at him over his shoulder. In his hands he held his standard plain back t-shirt. Gale scowled at it.

But there was something else bothering him more.

"Where's the hat?" The Stetson. The one he took from the woman then threw off into the wing.

John turned slowly, his face smug. "You liked the hat?"

Gale nodded, open mouthed, as John's sweat-slicked chest was presented in front of him. There was something about John sweating; about the proof of a hard-working man that plucked at something in Gale's brain, his chest, and much deeper down into his belly, and made him hungry.

Without thinking, with zero connection between his brain and mouth, Gale said, "My daddy had one."

Soon as the words left his mouth and Gale realised what he said, his face burned with a humiliated flush. Why did he say that? What kind of person—he stared at John wide-eyed and frantically trying to think of a way to backtrack. But John stared right back and folded his arms over his chest.

"Did he?" he said, nodding to himself and working his bottom lip between his teeth. "Want me to go get it? Put it on and tell you what a good boy you are—"

Gale pounced. He threw himself at John like the damsels in shitty romance movies or the books Marge loved the thumb so much with that glint in her eye. But there was no room for shame or embarrassment in Gale anymore. John had burned it up. Like he burned away each and every one of Gale's defences.

Gale kissed him, consuming and messy. He sucked John's tongue into his mouth and gasped around the slick wetness. John's hands frantically pulled at his shirt and and yanked and the ping of buttons littered the stall and Gale moaned and bit John's lip.

John tugged off the remains of the shirt, leaving Gale in nothing but his pants. He kissed down the newly-exposed skin, mouthing along the defined line of Gale's collarbones and grabbed palmfuls of his waist, using it to haul Gale in impossibly closer.

He could feel every part of John in the firm line against him.

The floor was piled thick with straw, and Gale stuck his foot behind John and shoved him down, tripping him to the ground. He fell down with him, hands grasping John's thigh and dragging it high over his hips.

A slow, hard grind and John was throwing his head back, mouth wide open and shouting his pleasure.

"Oh, okay," he gasped in Gale's seeking, searching mouth. "That does it for ya. Noted."

John's hands dropped down to Gale's belt and yanked the leather open. He worked on Gale's buttons, straining against the hardness they were fighting to contain. He managed to just slip his hands between the unforgiving waistband and Gale's heated skin to get some leverage to work with and Gale groaned at his manhandling—

When yelling erupted from the mouth of their stall.

"Aw, jeeze, guys!"

"RIght there in the hay! An animal lives here!"

"Who had Halloween? Was it Curt or Rosie? I think it was Rosie."

"Great. Thank you. Now we have to pay a lawyer the pot. Great job, guys!"

"Fuckin' knew it! Budge up, I want in."

"Kenny!"

Gale still had John pinned underneath him, though both of them blinked wide-eyed and open mouthed at their colleagues arguing over them when they'd been dry-humping like teenagers and half naked.

In a moment of clarity, Gale tried to spring up, But John clamped down with his legs and shook his head desperately.

"Fuck sake, not yet! Don't. Move."

Gale gave up, and slumped down, letting John bear all his weight and hopefully his humiliation, too.

Marge, bless her soul, shooed Helen and Crosby and Kenny out of there, turning her back to let the boys make themselves decent. They hurried out of their costumes into their own clothes as fast as they could. Gale was fairly sure his shirt was on inside out. But he didn't trust himself to look at John and ask him to check.

"Um," John's shaky voice broke the silence and Marge spun around on her heels. "Could you, uh, not tell Chick about this?" His chagrin melted some of Gale's embarrassment.

John gestured to him. "We agreed to tell him when we were ready and we haven't really spoke about it, so…" He looked helplessly at Gale, and he couldn't help the soft smile he shot back.

Marge snorted. "Sure," she agreed easily. "But he's gonna know, anyway."

"Why?" Alarmed, Gale checked them over, thinking one of them had left a hickey or something equally incriminating.

"Honey, who do you think set up the pool about you two in the first place?"

[quillofspirit]

2023 fic recs

If there's one thing to know about me, is that I love to read! and I love to share the good fics, so I figured I would put them all on one list💚

pssst! it's my first time doing anything like this, so if you have recommendations for the format, please do leave them in the comments or drop me a message! thanks xx

Key 🍬 fluff 🧯 spicy 🌡️ smut ⛈️ angst 🌪️ all

For people I have tagged, please let me know if there is anything you’d like me to add or remove — like a link to another account. It’ll be my pleasure☺️

Lord of the Rings (and related)

⛈️🧯Fuck the Forbidden pt. 1 by @entishramblings

Boromir x mermaidfem!oc Teens and Up but read the warnings carefully 9,500 words

Now I want mermaids in everything. why aren’t there mermaids in everything? The descriptions are so well done, everything is so vividly easy to visualize, oh I just loved it.

I am so hyped for pt 2!!

🍬⛈️ Healing Touch by @ass-deep-in-demons

Boromir x fem!oc Teens and Up 4,350 words

My film studies degree was very happy about the descriptions of movement in this one - it’s a little specific but hear me out. It’s much easier to see the actors playing the scene when it’s described this well! THAT ENDING, I have to say I joined Legolas, and I don’t have excuses.

I cannot wait to read the rest of the adventures of Joanna!

🍬 I Might Need to Kiss You by @fizzyxcustard

Thorin Oakenshield x fem!reader 400 words

I was squealing, this is so sweet. like the perfect little pick me up when you need a reminder, and Thorin is nothing if not a good king to his subjects 😇

🍬 Sweet Conversations by @glassgulls

Haldir x fem!reader Teens and Up 5,360 words

did I almost break my mouse when I clicked on this? noooo

Would I do it again? approximately 5 times since ☺️

Who doesn’t love sneaking around and kissing pretty elves, especially when they propose the idea so nicely… Just read it, you’re welcome

⛈️🧯Transformed by @sotwk

Thranduil’s son OC x fem!reader Teens and Up 2,400 words

There are at least two werewolves! When I tell you I read it three nights in a row, just to truly catch all the little things that made me go absolutely feral this so lovely to read. Yes, there’s gore (only a little bit) and there’s angst, but there’s also dialogue that would be made into gifs were it a movie.

Pirates of the Caribbeans

🌪️Catch the Wind by eriathiel (@esta-elavaris)

James Norrington x fem!oc Explicit 418,000 words

101 chapters of epic, pirates, and sweetness. The definition of you will suffer and you will like it. I finished this in like two days, because I couldn’t put it down, like a child on Halloween night going through their whole bag of candy.

⛈️🍬 Fallen Through Time by eriathiel (@esta-elavaris)

Catch the Wind AU Mature Ongoing; 34,000 words

12 Chapters so far, but it’s probably going to make me want to read everything about Theodora again. I am very normal about this character. 😌

Other fandoms

🌡️One of Those days by @capricornafterdark

Jason Todd x fem!reader Explicit 750 words

Sometimes you need to be taken care of, and sometimes its easier to take care of others.

🍬Patience by @velvetcloxds

Charlie Swan x fem!reader Just straight cuteness 600 words

A cute yet serious conversation with Charlie

🌡️That Takes Trust Darlin by @capricornafterdark

Jason Todd x transmasc!reader Explicit 1,950 words

It takes a lot of trust to tell a person about your desires, and even more when you spend your time catching villains.

🌪️ What Happens After You? by StrengthBeforeWeakness

Ominis Gaunt x fem!oc Mature 219,000 words

A badass Ravenclaw, sweet sweet Garreth, and dark!Sebastian. I am tempted to say it’s almost a Hogwarts Legacy AU because the lore in this fic is so incredible, it feels new again.

These are my headers and dividers, please do not use them.

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

TMNT Headcannons from across the universe!

These are just headcannons I have for characters that NO MATTER which universe they’re in, I truly believe these hc are real in my heart.

• Raph curses like a sailor (Yes even your precious rottmnt!Raph). He is usually 101% done with whatever bullshit they’ve gotten themselves into and has no need or want to put a filter up because of it. Though he tries not to curse too much if Master Splinter or small children are around, he’ll slip up once or twice if he gets too frustrated.

• On the flip side: Leo NEVER curses. But it’s not because he’s the older brother/leader and wants to be an example for his brothers (especially not rottmnt!Leo). But because he’s a little shit and likes watching his brothers cringe at whatever nonsense he uses to replace swear words.

• Leo: Aw shucks! This really ruffles my freathers! Looks like we really go ourselves in a pickle this time fellas!

• Raph, Donnie, and Mikey, sobbing: Please for the love of god just say FUCK!!!

• All of the bros can skateboard but Mikey is the best at it.

• Donnie’s always got to be a little messeed up in the head, mainly because his morality is a fucking rulet wheel. Like he can be the sweetest person you know but if the situation does not benefit his friends or family he does NOT care for it.

• It has been stated before many times that Mikey has the most raw talent amongst his brothers and I truly believe that if Leo hadn’t stepped up as leader Splinter would have assigned it to Mikey. But like also Mikey absolutely DOES NOT want to be leader.

• I firmly believe that Raph is good with kids; like if it were possible for him to live a normal life I wholeheartedly believe he would be a kindergarten teacher.

• Donnie does NOT like kids but kids seem to like him for some reason.

• Leo is okay with kids, he’s just really awkward around them and doesn’t know how he should act.

• Mikey absolutely adores kids and they adore him right back! He doesn’t speak to them in that condisending way that most adults do as if children are stupid and don’t understand anything happening around them. He talks to them like any other person and respects their opinions and ideas. If possible he’d probably have the biggest family out of all his brothers.

• Hates pineapple on pizza: Raph, Donnie, Casey

• Likes pineapple on pizza: Mikey, Leo, Splinter, April

• Casey Jones would NEVER in a million years EVER be a cop! (I don’t fucking care what the Bayverse movies say CASEY JONES WOULD NEVER BE A FUCKING COP!!!)

• Casey is trans and bisexual, always! Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong!

• Even if she isn’t a reporter/journalist in every universe, April O’Neil is always gunna be a bit nosey by nature and know ALL the gossip.

• April is either gunna be Bisexual or AroAce, no inbetween!

• With that being said, if April and Casey aren’t “romantically” involved with each other they are QPP because they’re soulmates and I love their dynamic together.

• Raph and Casey are also QPP! They are ALWAYS going to be best friends in EVERY universe!

• Leo is bisexual, always! Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong!

• Mikey is pansexual and genderfluid/agender/genderqueer/idk they got something going on with their gender cuz it sure as hell ain’t cis!

• Donnie is nonbinary because he has no time for silly things like gender, only science! His sexuality is a squiggly line hand wave that’s somewhere on the ace spectrum and your guess is as good as mine.

• Raph goes by he/they pronouns. That’s all anybody has ever gotten out of him and if they ask he always replies with: my gender is who fucking cares and my sexuality is who gives a shit!

• Much like April, Splinter fall under the line of either being bisexual or Aroace, no inbetween!

• Splinter may be pretty bad with technology sometimes but he absorbes languages like a fucking sponge. At minimum he knows at least 6 different languages.

• If given the choice to either save the world or his sons Splinter will always ALWAYS choose his boys. No hesitation what-so-ever! This rat man would rather fist fight god themselves then ever even CONSIDER losing his babies! He’s not the most perfect parent and he can be a bit strict at times but he loves his children so, so much! To him they ARE his entire world!

• Cat person: Mikey, Raph, April

• Dog person: Leo, Donnie, Casey

• Bird/Fish person: Splinter

• Epic Rap Battles of History!!! Autism (Donnie and Raph) vs ADHD (Mikey and Leo)!!!

• Raph listens to emo rock and grunge music

• Donnie listens to either classical music or heavy metal depending on his mood.

• Leo is actually just as good at playing video games as Mikey. He excels best at super fast paced rhythm games and complex puzzle games.

• Mikey actually kinda enjoys meditating but he HAS to have music playing in the background or else he gets bored and distracted.

• April, Raph, and Donnie have formed a gossip circle where they shit talk about people they hate.

• With proper motivation Baxter Stockman is the most terrifying villain in the TMNT universe because the man is fucking insane and doesn’t care if he has to hurt himself or others to meet his goal. We do not thank our lucky stars enough that he is a coward prone to being bullied by other overzealous villains to do their grunt work. The world would have been destroyed ten times over if it were not for that.

• I feel like all the turtles’ troubles could have been avoided if the Shredder would have just taken some anger management classes, yoga, weed, something and like vibed for at least 5 minutes. Like if he took the time to think over his plans more than once he’d kind of be like: Yeah okay, no, this is fucking stupid!

• Bebop and Rocksteady are gay and married.

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Untitled

This has been a strange week, A. I mean you know I have to talk to you today on my break at work (taking at least 2 today because it's sloooooow).

The Boy wrote his English 101 Dual Credit essay about you this week. He warned me.

"Mom, I have to write about 'an experience that made me appreciate life.' I'm gonna write about A dying. I really can't think of writing about anything else that won't come out sounding like bullshit. I still need you to look at it before I turn it in, because you're a writer and it makes me feel better when you say it's not shit, even though it comes with the Mom Discount. But I know it might like...upset you."

Of course I told him to write about you. I told him I wanted to read it (truth). I told him to actually print out a copy because I don't want it lost to the ethereal, nebulous world of online-only assignments; it's something my son made to honor my best friend. I want to save it forever. I want it immortalized (also truth). But it was fucking hard to read it. He took it hard when you died, and I knew he did before reading his school work (obviously), but Christ, how connected the two of you are. The locket J got me connects everyone in the center but you and the Boy are connected on a hinge side, and that locket pops open on that hinge at work all the time. So I'll look down and have to close it back up, and every time it's you and my son looking back at me. It's never you and my grandparents or J and my son, or J and my grandparents. It's always you and the Boy. You helped him so much. I want you to know that. He turned it in yesterday after titling it. 'Loss and Acceptance.' It's hard to title things. Especially when you write something important to you; something difficult to say; something attached to a lot of complex feelings. That's why my essay is untitled.

Then last night I sat on the couch with J and he cried watching a YouTube video of a BBC news capture of Jon Bon Jovi (right?) LITERALLY talking someone off a ledge in Nashville, Tennessee where he was shooting a music video. J cried. He leaves for his bike trip with W and the boys tomorrow morning. So this conversation happened:

Me: You ok? 🥺

J: 🥺😥 (hands over his phone with the video restarted; it was moving, but it didn't make ME cry)

Me: I'm lost. 🫤 I don't know what's getting to you this much. Text me? (J and I often text each other when our bodies are literally touching. Sometimes it's easier to not say it out loud).

J: (both of us are texting now) I dunno, peaches.

Me: Do you feel like...that? (that = suicidal) 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

J: No. Just got to me how many people walked on by.

Me: He didnt. ❤️🥹

J: Yeah. ❤️

Me: Is the stuff with your dad getting to you more than you're telling me? I don't want you to go off Saturday morning feeling so down. ❤️

J: I feel guilty about going. 🫤

Me: Why? Won't lie. I don't like it when you're away, but I want you to go see your friends. W. Fuck, I'd give everything I have except you and the Boy for a week with A right now.

J: That's kind of why. If I don't go, what if something happens to W before I get another chance to see him? Or me even? I'd feel like shit. So I have to go. But I'm leaving you and the Boy. And fucking G. That damn dog. Because what if something happens to one of us while I'm away? I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Me: We're fine. I promise. We just like having you around. Go be with W because...damn I really would give anything to be with A. For even an HOUR.

J hugged me until we all left the living room for bed. We made love last night before we went to sleep. And I dreamed all night about you. That you weren't really dead (again). Everywhere I went, when J was away on this trip, you were with me. 'I can't believe we're at a sushi place right now,' you'd say. 'What the fuck am I supposed to eat here?! Boy used to be on my side. What happened to pizza, man? Your mother finally infected you with her adventurous eating...' I'd look around at family dinner at my parents' house without J and you'd be there. Literally saying, 'I'm still here.'

I fucking miss you so bad. J has never gone away without you being there to text me off my metaphorical ledges and now you're not. Now I'm left with a bunch of people who will just pass me by. I'm so fucking ragingly envious of J that he gets a week with his best friend while I'm so desperately missing mine. I know the dream is supposed to be that I DO get a week with my best friend. That it's somehow 'better' in a way because you'll be right next to me, even in places you'd never ever go with me alive, but I still don't want you to be dead. I'd trade this intangible constancy even at the sushi joint for sporadic texts and bad Pearl Jam jokes in a heartbeat. I'd trade no sushi ever for pizza once a year with you. I'd certainly trade a visit to the fucking cemetery every few weeks to seeing you in person one more time, period. I'd still rather all of this be fake and you're not really even dead, just orchestrating a supremely elaborate scheme to avoid me.

There's every supposed stage of grief in one essay. Except of course for acceptance. That's why I had the Boy print his out for me. I'll keep rereading it until it takes. That still might be never. 💔😭

Anyway, love you, you fucker. I'll see you Monday at your place. ❤️

[feral-apostate]

alright so, i am only speaking of my own experiences and those close to me. im not about to try to be the end all be all of sex or first time or penetration sex. but these are some things i personally didn’t know until my late teens and made me deeply afraid of sex w penetration.

ok homies but the fact that i had to look up a video on the hymen to stop being afraid of sex is a major fucking sign that we need better sex ed in the goddamn usa. (i had one class for three days in 8th grade for my sex ed and it was only about STDs and abstinence - fuck USA and abstinence only sex ed)

my mom, my aunt, etc told me from a young teen age that sex is painful the first time, that sometimes there’s blood…fuck me that was terrifying!!

i was so scared of anything being inside me until i looked up a video that explained the hymen isn’t a fucking piece of skin that covers your entire vaginal hole that a dick or whatever has to pierce to have sex w penetration (i know i know “not a good enough reason to use the word penetration”-fat amy). do you know how painful that sounded or afraid it made me of sex? i was like, why the hell does anyone w a vagina ever want sex w someone w a dick if it hurts like that? it only sounds pleasurable for the person w a dick

hymens are different for everyone - some cover lots and some barely cover any of your hole/vagina/🤷🏻. hymens can wear away. it’s a shit way to tell virginity, which is a fucking social construct ya sons of bitches, and it’s majorly a way to scare those w vaginas about sex and make them think their first time HAS to be painful. it’s a way of normalizing a painful first time imo. but also everyone has a different first time and may view it differently - don’t let me make rules about how you view your sex life

i’ve fucked myself with small and large dildos and it’s never hurt when i used the right amount of lube and fingers for foreplay. there’s never been any blood. actually, fucking myself has made me less afraid of sex and taught me what i do and don’t want.

so here’s a PSA for anyone else out there wondering: sex DOES NOT have to hurt the first or anytime (unless you want it to/that’s your thing)

here’s a link to a scarleteen article that may be helpful for those having sex for the first time:

[kennyomegasweave]

Drunk as hell and finally watched 101 of Dangerous Romance.

I enjoyed this episode so much. I am so excited to see where this show goes. So excited. I had such a good time with this episode. Here are my real time thoughts.

I'm out here googling Thai baht to USD to try to make sense of these numbers and I'm Big Mad for Thailand.

They really said he lives with his elderly brother in the description online and that’s Papang. I'm furious. He's barely 30. 

I’m sorry what are these debts and why does a high schooler have to be concerned about them? Is it his brother's debts or their parents who may not be here?

Oh Perth has shown up being musty.

Aww, Auto's mom is like no you gotta make sure your friend eats. I already love her.

I'm sorry but these fuckass shorts are upsetting me. Perth is out here being menacing and hot but in fuckass shorts and I can't focus. I do know I already hate him and his friends though. 

Marc's character is already My Boy cause he is ready to fight and I love that.

HE IS NOT GONNA TAKE HIS $300 CONCERT TICKET OH I WANT HIM DEAD I WANT HIS FAMILY DEAD I WANT HIS HOME BURNED TO THE GROUND

I want you to know the gasp I just let out at them setting the ticket on fire was loud and dramatic and I MEANT IT. I also meant what I said when I said I want these boys to die, I want their families dead, and I want their homes burned to the ground. 

OH WE ARE LEGIT ONLY 15 MINUTES IN AND HAVE A FUCKASS TEACHER TOO. OH BITCH. OUT HERE CALLING A KID TO SNITCH. OUT HERE SNITCHING AND REPORTING TO A FUCKING TEENAGER. WHAT A WEAK ASS BITCH. 

Sailom, back up everything in the cloud next time. Because this fuck ass grown man is out here being a high schooler's bitch like that isn't the most pathetic thing ever.

Sailom is sassy and I love him. "Wanna be my heroine?" Yes baby. Call him out. Play Boys Like Girls Hero/Heroine.

Perth really is like KNEEL BEFORE ME like he's out of character Loki in The Avengers. That didn't go well for that Loki either sooo.

Are these dudes seriously watching her through the window? That's nasty as hell. My god. Also Perth you aren't needed either. I don't even know your relationship to her but leave her alone. Stop it. Leave her alone. Get a job.

You're trying to mack on a girl but also worrying about Sailom? You're so fucking gay and you don't even know.

WHAT DID THE CUNT TRIO DO TO MY BOY. WHY ARE THEY ALL LOOKING AT HIM LIKE HE DID SOMETHING.

Auto saying throwing water on him from above is a Japanese drama move. I saw them dump slushee on Kiyoi and Hira whooped ass so obviously I want Marc to kill them all.

HE SAID DO IT OPENLY NOT BEHIND OUR BACKS LIKE A BITCH. OH MY GOD. THIS IS MY BABY. HE IS MY SON. I NEED TO KNOW HIS CHARACTER'S NAME.

Not Perth's bitch ass friend being like if my hands weren't full I would have whooped them. Bitch there was a table right there, put your plate down if you bad.

Oh. This young man is just. I want him to get hit with a bat. I know I'm gonna love him (I never hated a man like I hated Ritsu at first and then I loved him in the end) but I want him to get his kneecaps taken out. SLEWFOOT THE BITCH. 

YES SAILOM PUTTING THE CARD BACK IN THE BITCH'S POCKET. I just said YES QUEEN ICONIC. IICONIC. outloud in my kitchen while drunk at 1:45AM. YES.

I don't even trust him with his grandma cause he's such a shit. He's like "oh where's dad?" Your dad probably don't wanna be near you cause you suck. Play Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood. 

Oh. His dad actually seems good? But I don't know if this is a cultural thing I'm not getting? Like his dad seems good to me cause he's like you don't want politics, just have fun and be a kid. But culturally is this his dad being like YOU A WEAK BITCH THAT CAN'T COMPARE. Because Perth seemed to be real upset about this. And grandma didn't look super happy.

This girl said "are you telling me to beat my dog I clearly love?" Because, once again, he's BOMBING with this girl and doesn't even seem to realize. lol

Auto risked getting fucked up hardcore to warn Sailom and he still showed up to save him. Oh these are my new favorite besties. 

DID THEY LOCK UP THE ANGRY ONE??? Of course they did. He would kill all of them. He just needs a gun. Someone give him a gun.

Did he really call this boy in front of a huge crowd and say take your shirt off and kneel at my feet. If you don't, I'm gonna take your shorts off too. Dude, this is something I feel like you gotta work out in therapy. This doesn't need a crowd.

He really is like WOW AUTO REALLY CARES FOR SAILOM THATS GAY. First, he clearly doesn't have friends at all. Second, my dude really needs to examine his own homoeroticism cause my god.

YES GOD AT SAILMON JUST KISSING PERTH INSTEAD. I have spent this whole episode in AWE of her queen shit.

I can’t wait to watch the next episode when I’m less drunk possibly. lol

[introvertbard]

@alpharaposa I have updated this post SO DAMN MUCH since January, lol. Check it out! https://www.tumblr.com/introvertbard/752832508636332032/your-weekly-reminder-that-ive-updated-my-nerdy

I remember vaguely seeing someone recommend "Check out endurance riding, they can go miles upon miles in a day!" And I was like "NOOOOOOOO, I distinctly remember telling my readers NOT to look at endurance riding for 'average traveling distances!'"

Endurance riding on horseback is the equivalent of marathon running for people, as noted above. Here's what a horse and rider pair needs to pull it off:

-They need to train for months/years to build up endurance, preferably in all sorts of terrain/weather--because my edited post mentions the very different circumstances that can cut "a day's travel" from twenty miles or so, to EIGHT MILES OR LESS. Average riding horses need anywhere from six months to three years to train and properly condition for an endurance ride. https://horseandrider.com/horseback-trail-riding/endurance-riding-101/

-They need the FREE TIME to train for months/years. If you and your horse have literally any kind of job, then that takes time away from your six to thirty-six months of training. If you're "a person with a horse," you have an 80-90% chance of being a farmer or having "a non-farming necessary craft." You have more things to do than ride laps all day, so your horse will not JUST be a riding horse--they'll have to pull plows/carts and carry smaller loads on their back.

And if you have a riding horse, you are likely a wealthy crafter, mercenary, merchant, or a noble, so you STILL have a job besides riding all day, even if it's fancier than farming or pottery. Nobles and mercenaries are warriors; nobles are also administrators and prettied-up farm managers; merchants and crafters have to spend a lot of time to GO FROM POINT A TO POINT B, and to MAKE STUFF.

That leaves "rich people who need to fill their time up," and that will likely be "spare relatives" of a wealthy person mentioned above--cousins, second/third sons, daughters, and well-liked in-laws.

-They would likely need A LOT OF FOOD to train for months/years. It was known for centuries that human athletes are really high-maintenance because they need so much food and time to learn their sports, and the preindustrial equivalent of sport-horses would be EVEN MORE high-maintenance than horses already are.

I mentioned in my original post that 10-20 scouting horses need hundreds of pounds of food at the end of the day, so that much fodder would likely only last one active and fit horse for... TEN TO TWENTY DAYS, no shit! Imagine finding all that hay and grain for half a fucking year! And if you're a human riding that horse, you're also going to need several pounds of HIGH QUALITY food a day.

I have heard people say that drastic increases in activity can make your metabolism panic, as they stuffed their faces but still ended up losing weight--which meant "losing their fat AND their hard-earned muscle as their body cannibalized itself, because they're STILL not eating enough."

If you are not rich in a preindustrial society, you cannot spend months wasting literal tons of human food and horse fodder with the goal of "EVENTUALLY going somewhere about 50-100 miles away, as fast as possible."

But people DID do long rides in preindustrial times, as my post about "medieval horses were NOT draft horses, horse riders and historians are begging you to stop using Clydesdales and Shires in the same sentence as 'knight'!" denotes. Say you're a scout, a messenger, or a light-cavalry rider who specializes in long and spirit-crushing rides as opposed to the classic battlefield charges.

You and your horse are gearing up for a 50-100 mile "race"--say you need to get across a wealthy noble's LARGE territory, or maybe you need to cross a border. But what will you still not have that a modern endurance rider does?

A HORDE OF PEOPLE SPREAD OUT ALONG THE PATH, READY TO HELP YOU OUT IF YOU TAKE A WRONG TURN, IF YOUR HORSE LOSES A SHOE, OR IF EITHER OF YOU GET INJURED.

The best case scenario for a preindustrial rider is that the territory is friendly, so they can stop every ten or so miles at a village/town/city to rest up and feed their horse. Worst-case scenario: It's NOT friendly territory, and they cannot stop with people around. You can rest in a forest or at the empty fringes of a settlement, but will that empty place have grain and hay for your famished horse? Will you go in disguise or steal fodder for your horse, and risk getting caught? That is when you're walking the line between CERTAIN death from exhaustion/fatigue, and UNCERTAIN death from "literally anything else that can happen over 50-100 miles of ground."

Preindustrial travel, and long explanations on why different distances are like that

I saw a post on my main blog about how hiking groups need to keep pace with their slowest member, but many hikers mistakenly think that the point of hiking is "get from Point A to Point B as fast as possible" instead of "spending time outdoors in nature with friends," and then they complain that a new/less-experienced/sick/disabled hiker is spoiling their time-frame by constantly needing breaks, or huffing and puffing to catch up.

I run into a related question of "how long does it take to travel from Point A to Point B on horseback?" a lot, as a fantasy writer who wants to be SEMI-realistic; in the Western world at least, our post-industrial minds have largely forgotten what it's like to travel, both on our own feet and in groups.

People ask the new writer, "well, who in your cast is traveling? Is getting to Point B an emergency or not? What time of year is it?", and the newbies often get confused as to why they need so much information for "travel times." Maybe new writers see lists of "preindustrial travel times" like a primitive version of Google Maps, where all you need to do is plug in Point A and Point B.

But see, Google Maps DOES account for traveling delays, like different routes, constructions, accidents, and weather; you as the person will also need to figure in whether you're driving a car versus taking a bus/train, and so you'll need to figure out parking time or waiting time for the bus/train to actually GET THERE.

The difference between us and preindustrial travelers is that 1) we can outsource the calculations now, 2) we often travel for FUN instead of necessity.

The general rule of thumb for preindustrial times is that a healthy and prime-aged adult on foot, or a rider/horse pair of fit and prime-aged adults, can usually make 20-30 miles per day, in fair weather and on good terrain.

Why is this so specific? Because not everyone in preindustrial times was fit, not everyone was healthy, not everyone was between the ages of 20-35ish, and not everyone had nice clear skies and good terrain to travel on.

If you are too far below 18 years old or too far past 40, at best you will need either a slower pace or more frequent breaks to cover the same distance, and at worst you'll cut the travel distance in half to 10 or so miles. Too much walking is VERY BAD on too-young/old knees, and teenagers or very short adults may just have short legs even if they're fine with 8-10 hours of actual walking. Young children may get sick of walking and pitch a fit because THEY'RE TIREDDDDDDDDDD, and then you might need to stay put while they cry it out, or an adult may sigh and haul them over their shoulder (and therefore be weighed down by about 50lbs of Angry Child).

Heavy forests, wetlands and rocky hills/mountains are also going to be a much shorter "distance." For forests or wetlands, you have to account for a lot of villagers going "who's gonna cut down acres of trees for one road? NOT ME," or "who's gonna drain acres of swamp for one road? NOT ME." Mountainous regions have their traveling time eaten by going UP, or finding a safer path that goes AROUND.

If you are traveling in winter or during a rainstorm (and this inherently means you HAVE NO CHOICE, because nobody in preindustrial times would travel in bad weather if they could help it), you run the high risk of losing your way and then dying of exposure or slipping and breaking your neck, just a few miles out of the town/village.

And now for the upper range of "traveling on horseback!"

Fully mounted groups can usually make 30-40 miles per day between Point A and Point B, but I find there are two unspoken requirements: "Point B must have enough food for all those people and horses," and "the mounted party DOESN'T need to keep pace with foot soldiers, camp followers, or supply wagons."

This means your mounted party would be traveling to 1) a rendezvous point like an ally's camp or a noble's castle, or 2) a town/city with plenty of inns. Maybe they're not literally going 30-40 miles in one trip, but they're scouting the area for 15-20 miles and then returning to their main group. Perhaps they'd be going to an allied village, but even a relatively small group of 10-20 warhorses will need 10-20 pounds of grain EACH and 20-30 pounds of hay EACH. 100-400 pounds of grain and 200-600 pounds of hay for the horses alone means that you need to stash supplies at the village beforehand, or the village needs to be a very large/prosperous one to have a guaranteed large surplus of food.

A dead sprint of 50-60 miles per day is possible for a preindustrial mounted pair, IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HAVE TO. Moreover, that is for ONE day. Many articles agree that 40 miles per day is already a hard ride, so 50-60 miles is REALLY pushing the envelope on horse and rider limits.

NOTE: While modern-day endurance rides routinely go for 50-100 miles in one day, remember that a preindustrial rider will not have the medical/logistical support that a modern endurance rider and their horse does.

If you say "they went fifty miles in a day" in most preindustrial times, the horse and rider's bodies will get wrecked. Either the person, their horse, or both, risk dying of exhaustion or getting disabled from the strain.

Whether you and your horse are fit enough to handle it and "only" have several days of defenselessness from severe pain/fatigue (and thus rely on family/friends to help you out), or you die as a heroic sacrifice, or you aren't QUITE fit enough and become disabled, or you get flat-out saved by magic or another rider who volunteers to go the other half, going past 40 miles in a day is a "Gondor Calls For Aid" level of emergency.

As a writer, I feel this kind of feat should be placed VERY carefully in a story: Either at the beginning to kick the plot off, at the climax to turn the tide, or at the end.

Preindustrial people were people--some treated their horses as tools/vehicles, and didn't care if they were killed or disabled by pushing them to their limits, but others very much cared for their horses. They needed to keep them in working condition for about 15-20 years, and they would not dream of doing this without a VERY good reason.

[fugazitn]

Shadow the Hedgehog

Hello all, I will say that I will stop cursing god cuz he/she/they fucking won. I've woken up the last 3 days with a 101 fever which is really bad for me specifically cuz my normal resting temp is 97 degrees (im cold blooded). So it is scary that you can be fine one day and then fighting for your life the next. I suppose since I never croaked I should be thankful for the chance to survive. I will not be, no fucking way I needed to wake up on Monday and be struggling to eat applesauce or even drink water. Meanwhile in my minds eye im like if i move faster than a centimeter a second im guaranteed to pass out and if i eat the wrong thing I knew it was coming back up. This is some terrible design, I plan on voting, I only want like 2 people to die (for good and valid reasons) and i never say bullshit like well my mother is gay or nothing I just take the bullet for when I fuck up in life so I expect boosted immune system or some shit when this is all over. Would I type up all of this just cuz im probably too sick to stream and want to talk to you all and think that I likely don't have the stamina to go back and forth within the discord? ..Yes but also I was already becoming slightly ill day by day and then I got a covid shot and a flu shot on saturday and to be Tian, that was the beginning of the end. I get it now. Naw I was mad illogical my whole sick episode. I was taking the style out of my hair because I just was having mad headaches due to the shit being mad heavy but I kept getting flashes of sakura cutting her hair with the Kunai. Being sick is some devilish work I tell ya. They even tried to put sakura against me like this gotta be what was happening in the old testament which had niggas tweaking trying to kill their own sons and was zapping bellies and making the pregnant. To experience some bullshit and to gain sympathy for those from a bygone era means that I am human. The really really really really funny part about all of this is that i finished my stream of shadow generations on sat and I didn't feel at 100% but i was at a cool 70% and like everyday after that I start at 25% and then slowly get to 60% by the end of the day. Shadow was created to help find a way to cure Maria how di he chaos control my sickness?? There's probably something deeper within this that can suggest being delulu is the solulu perhaps is a thing to look into. Ever since then i've been too sick to even ignore it therefore its impossible for me to get the delusional buffs. Dude like as I tried to work today, (I only was able to do a half day cuz naw), my body just decided to sweat like every 5 mins on a timer and it was so weird cuz it wasn't hot and it actively made my situation worse. I could feel the stamina leaving my body. The just Lock In Mantra was being combatted by involuntary actions coincided with imagery of crumbling self control. I have faith in my body when healthy but I am human like the rest of you. A faith easily tainted, a nightmare unharmoniously awoken from. I say all of this to say is that shadow is the most raw character ever to exist and if you get vaccines while sick it is extremely likely you will become and antivaxxer because I didn't think we made suffering like that no more to be completely honest. There's so many halloween things going on but im sick and I don't wanna spread it. I can't even take my cans up front I should probably be thinking about other things huh?

[hollowhereitcounts]

Stupid cunt.

Fucking piece of shit.

Nag hooker.

That’s what I get called. I try and talk about the fact that these things are not equal. That this is not ok. I try and tell him that just deciding to take a 2 hour break when we have a child is wild. He wants to tell me he plays with his son all the time and I never do. I’m just taking care of him?! Like I’m carrying THE ENTIRE load of care. When exactly can I play. The five minutes he decides to play is when I can finally put laundry in but go off I guess.

I sometimes genuinely wonder if he still loves me. I listened to our wedding song this morning. I was happy. I keep thinking about how much I love him and then this happens and I don’t even understand. I’m literally an idiot. I keep coming home like a fool every day hoping things will be different—completely believing the ideas in my head. Reality hits so hard

Stupid worthless cunt. Disappointment as a wife.

His words. Not mine. I am not always thrilled with myself but I wouldn’t say that about me.

“You didn’t tell me what needs to be done.”

Bro. Literally what the heck? You are an adult man. You should know. You should not be looking at me a to assign you chores like your freaking mommy?!

Like I’m really happy you play with our son but you won’t feed him. You won’t change him. You won’t dress him. Won’t rock him down (anymore)…? But yeah you’ll push him around in his car for 25 minutes. Pardon me if I feel the scale is a tad unbalanced.

I can’t believe he equates me occasionally forgetting to flush the toilet and accidentally leaving the basement light on with him straight up DIPPING most evenings. Like yeah. They’re the same. For sure.

I don’t even know what to think. He is just trying to hurt me when he says these things. I thought I was special and strong enough and chosen… and whatever else. Surely I can help…

Nope. I just get told that I don’t respect him and I don’t ever treat him right because apparently wanting to not carry the majority of the load of housework, meal prep, and child care is basically Bad Wife 101.

Everything would be so much easier if you just recognized that the day isn’t over until he is down. Occasionally needing a break is one thing. But it’s every other day. Come ON.

I told him I would document this. I’m tired of this. I’m literally tired of this. He doesn’t believe me. I am so so tired of this.

[jungle321jungle]

My Complete Sanders Sides Fics

All of them here. In a single list.

Other Masterlists - My Ao3

Virgil’s Guide To Avoid Falling In Love With Your Boss’ Boss

Virgil’s just trying to fake his way through life, but when he finds it hard to shake his hot boss’ boss’s attention- on account of their adopted sons being twins- things get complicated.

Put On A Brave Face

When Virgil was told he needed to attend a party at Lord Ekan’s household he didn’t have high expectations by any means. Parties were just a place for rumors and whispers to circulate and for him to smile and pretend as if nothing bothered him, they were a space he rather avoid. But even so Virgil never regretted that party in particular, not when it changed his life entirely.

Slither Into My Heart (Gorgon AU)

Deceit didn’t bother to knock as he slammed the door open and glared down to wear Remus sat on his bed polishing his morning star.

“What did you do?” Deceit hissed.

Remus gave him a large smile as he looked him up or down, “Do you have the snakes just up there or are they down below too?”

If asked by Patton later, Deceit most definitely did not try to strangle the other side in that moment. Not all.

Also known as: Deceit is turned into a Gorgon. And the new annoying little snakes on his head seem to have an annoying obsession with Virgil.

Ask No Questions (I’ll Tell No Lies) 

An Agent and a Con Man.

With such conflicting backgrounds it almost seemed laughable for the two to be soulmates. Fate had chosen this, but Logan had chosen to arrest the man across from him no matter what.

How To Fuck With Humanity 101 (only on Ao3)

Roman wants an audition to go well, and when he accidentally finds an immortal hovering in his bedroom who promises everything will go his way if he does ridiculous tasks? He does them.

Roman is the first human to interact with Virgil in years, so he agrees to help, but it doesn’t mean he can’t have some fun with it.

As Cold As Stone

Dante Ekans’ newest case is a twenty one year old murder. It’s witnesses have remained silent all this time. So Agent Ekans seeks to change that.

He pokes, he prods, he bluffs, he lies, and he digs too deep.

But maybe the witnesses were silent for a reason.

Forms Of Family

No one alive knows how Dee manages to raise five kids primarily on his own. He's not sure himself, but having some of the best kids in the world makes it a whole lot easier.

[bidisasterevankinard]

8, 14, 19, 26, 60, 89 :)

hi vaughn <333 thank you

101 questions

8. Do you look up to anyone in your life?

My sister because she also was raised in the same way as me but came really amazing person and mother. She is really good in her career and family, she succeeded a lot in both(she is only 32, she has a husband and two sons, who loves and cherish her. she has bachelor and master degrees in geography. she is the second person in administration in her school. she is amazing teacher who is loved by her students). she is just amazing!!!!!! It's sometimes hard to have 10 years gap, but at the same time I'm happy I have such a gap with her because she taught me a lot

14. What petty event are you still embarrassed about?

as a kid I was really talkative but like never knew where to shut up. So I like embarrassed about all my childhood

19. Do you swear?

yes, on both English and Russian. and I even know some words on German. I mean it's in my blood. not that I swear a lot or in front of kids or something like that. but i can do it and sometimes i have periods when i just do it more constantly than not. also as a linguist i can tell that swear words are not such an "enemies". people created them for a reason as all other words. gave then emotional meaning and then made taboo themselves. if people would stop say it's taboo to say it and just use it as emotional words(because we need words like "fuck" to scream when we are in pain or just excited or smt like that) problem about swearing would be solved. such an emotional words helps us to explain out emotions, let them out. ofc you don't have to swear if you don't want to, but it's really not such a big deal

26. What does your favorite tattoo mean to you? Or if you had to get a tattoo, what would it be? Why?

I'm planning to have "Love me anyway" tattoo soon because i feel it too deep not to put it on my body(trauma from never being enough you know). then I also love two other quotes from 911 "if matter to you most is how other people see you then you haven't learned a dam thing" and "there's no locked rooms anywhere where with right tools and enough time you can't get into." first on pretty easy means for me "do not let others to say to you how to see yourself" and second one is like "never give up" but also let you know that maybe try other ways or tools and be patient if you really want to achieve it.

I also really wants to have bracelet tattoo with a pulse to remember that I always can do that I love till I'm alive and i should do WHAT I WANT (trauma speaking again). also i just want to show off this tattoo to my parents faces

(i need money*sobs*)

60.Early, on time, or late?

When i was a kid, and mostly nowadays too, I prefer to be early, because you know anxiety and I just hate to be late. But sometimes I lazy and/or depressed and I stays in bed till I will come somewhere on time or even late

89. Do you feel too hot or too cold more often?

When I was a kid and even as teenager (less tho) I was mostly hot, except in teenage-hood (somewhere since 14 I had cold hands and sometimes cold foots on winter). Now after I lost weight and try to be more plant based I runs cold most of the year except late may-early october (even tho bad days with really cold rainy days happens)