#fuck you laura neal

[wearevillaneve]

Same energy.

[villanelleskiss]

will there ever be a day where i don’t cry about killing eve…

[villanele]

I finished watching killing eve and WTF ????? DJSKAKAKAKKDNDBEJEJWKAM NOOOOOOOOOO😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[pinkpolastri]

eve comes home from the dixie queen

(killing eve ended like this i don’t make the rules)

[clowningcrows]

thinking about the killing eve s3 finale and the orpheus and eurydice of it all…..

[ethan-nestor-owns-my-heart]

Jesus 😩

[sprolden]

just remembered that i went on a tipsy rant about season 4 of killing eve and i described it as "they missed the point so badly it was like if someone wrote a tv show about bald people who hate that theyre bald and spend 3 seasons having them slowly accept that theyre bald and then in the 4th season they all wear wigs"

[crime-wives]

this show has consumed my life and all of my thoughts.

jodie comer and sandra oh gave us one of the best onscreen kisses ever

[wearevillaneve]

Nobody liked the way Killing Eve ended...

...except for these two nobodies.

[raventrigonsdaughter]

Because some of you are missing the point of why people are upset about this last episode, tip: it's not about a fucking ship

It's about how in a show with a lesbian middle aged protagonist, said protagonist only got a 30 minute episode for her own trial while the only male character got the longest episode yet where SHE was sidelined;

This is about how this male character will appear more and more after this show anyway and didn't need all this time they could have used in episode 5 instead;

This is about how when you use the agatha all along tag on twitter HIS emoji comes up but not hers;

This is about how we finally have a lesbian protagonist but media and now a good chunk of you people are still managing to make it about a man instead and refuse to understand why people are rightfully angry about it;

"There are still 3 episodes left" and i bet my ass they are not going to be as long as this one

Episode 7 is about Lilia which puts billy on the spotlight again;

Episode 9 is a flashback;

This leaves episode 8 as the sole agatha episode and its gonna be her *check notes* FIGHTING her love interest and most likely than not dying and billy taking the protagonism again because must i remind you we know from the funkos he will get a whole ass magical girl transformation when they won't even update the titular character's "uniform" from her wandavision dress

People are mad about a lot of things and y'all know damn well none of them is actually about mlm rep, this is about women, specially sapphic women, being sidelined in their own spaces for a man

edit: do i have to keep saying how detrimental to the main female character this shit is being, all these women flocking around... for a man

Edit 2: OH and because Jac already said it so i dont have to hide this leak anymore

THE FINAL TRIAL IS NOT RIO'S, IT'S BILLY'S so again, fuck this new Laura Neal ass showrunner and fuck marvel

[bigolbard]

Okay. I literally just finished S3 of LoVM and I have thoughts. Also, I just need to write those thoughts out to try and process what I'm feeling. Because I'm feeling a lot.

If it isn't obvious, everything that follows this is going to spoil the fuck out of all of LoVM and also CR C1, so, y'know, stop reading if you haven't watched yet and care about spoilers. You're beautiful, and I love you.

Okay. So. First, things that I want to praise unabashedly:

Laura Bailey is a fucking angel sent from the heavens to show humanity what god-tier voice acting is. I cannot get over her, and at this point I don't think I ever will. Love's First Crit was fucking phenomenal and heartbreaking and you bet your ass I was crying in the club.

Thordak-Raishan was cool as fuck and I loved the way they did it. I actually wish we got a bit longer of a fight there, it almost felt too quick. Would have loved to see Raishan fully let loose, but the narrative supported a sort of Keyleth v Raishan finale, so not a huge thing for me. I thought it was dope.

I saw you reading Der Kattenprintz to your daughter, Syldor. Don't think I didn't see that.

Kaylie's Song was as beautiful as I knew it would be. Sam and Mr. Fantastic and Neal Acree having been making fucking gold from Day 1 on this soundtrack, and I suspect they'll continue to do so in Season 4.

And now...the rest. The thoughts. The things. There are two big ones, and I'll start with the smaller of the two:

I did not like everyone splitting up for the first half of this episode drop. Was it technically both thematic and narratively sound? Yeah, absolutely it was. And I 100% get that this is something you can take advantage of in a TV show that doesn't really work at a D&D table. But for the Matron's sake, the show is called The Legend of Vox Machina. It is still about Vox Machina as a group, not as individuals. And the party is the heart of the story in the animation as much as it was in the live play. And splitting them up for such big moments feels like shit.

The other teams members not being there to see Earth Elemental Keyleth? That sucks. I know she got to show it off later when she killed Raishan, but it still sucks that that huge development moment for her happened completely devoid of the rest of VM.

Vax and Vex killing Ripley on their own? Sucked. Absolutely sucked. They went through all the extra work of building Ripley into a much bigger villain in the show -- both by having her survive Glintshore but also by us seeing her working with Umbrasyl in Season 2 and then again with Thordak in Season 3. They turned her into a proper major villain, and then never had the party as a whole fight her.

Her and Percy go mano y mano at Glintshore with no party intervention, and then the twins kill her with not only no party intervention, but not even telling the party they were going after her.

Like I get that Percy matters a whole hell of a lot to Vex, and by extension to Vax, but the rest of the party also loves him? And misses him? And wants him back? And they just...never get to fight Ripley?

Yeah, it's a TV show, you can have characters doing different things, but now you've lost a party experience. Vox Machina did not kill Anna Ripley. Vex and Vax did. And I'm sure some people are totally cool with that, but to me it really kills the heart of the story which is the party as a whole and the experiences they have together.

And speaking of splitting up.... what the fuck was that decision to replace Bard's Lament with the entire party just being like "well I guess we'll go do our own stuff now!"

Yes, the threat of the Whispered One will force them back together. Yes, because of the streamlined nature of the show we don't have as many side plots holding the group together now that the Conclave has been defeated. Yes, TV is different than D&D.

But holy fuck did I hate that decision, from both an adaptation standpoint and a narrative standpoint.

The first bit there is self-explanatory -- they fully removed one of the most iconic parts of C1. Despite -- in my and a lot of other people's opinions -- spending the better part of Season 2 and 3 setting up Scanlan's departure only to pivot at the last moment. I get making changes to fit the medium and the time constraints. But it was so obvious they were setting Scanlan's leave up from Season 2, and all the writing was on the wall, and then it was just nothing. And I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed we won't hear "what's my mother's name."

But even if I look past that disappointment, the narrative of it feels underwhelming on its own. Scanlan leaving is a huge moment for him, realizing he needs to look after his own needs, and having Keyleth basically echo the same sentiment really diminishes that moment. It feels like a goodbye episode -- and I get that S4 just got picked up like three days ago so they probably made that change so the show could end there if S4 wasn't ever made. That's probably the realistic answer.

But wow did I not like it. Wow wow wow. Like.... wow wow wow. I just...it felt so underwhelming. I kept waiting for the big moment, for the big season ending punch -- like the Chroma Conclave flying in at the end of S1 or the Raishan reveal at the end of S2 -- and there was just nothing. Yeah, we got the Vecna stinger, but that didn't involve the party. That didn't command immediate "oh no what's this."

It felt like it was setting up four new spinoff shows, not another season of the Legend of Vox Machina.

And let me be clear, this is all one dude's very fresh rant. This means nothing. If you loved these episodes, do not let me dillute your enjoyment. And I know CR and Titmouse don't owe me a damn thing -- they're not making this for me. I get that. But I just cannot believe that's the route they took.

In my opinion, the first two season very much felt like an adaptation. But this season felt more "inspired by," rather than an adaptation. And how much of that hits for you is totally personal preference. If I'd never seen any of C1 I'd love every moment of this. As its own things, it's still an incredible show and incredible art.

But it just felt like the heart was missing -- for me, at least -- in the back half of this season. Maybe I'm a hater. Maybe I'm resistant to chance. But it just didn't quite land and I needed to write all this out just to process my own feelings. Which is all they are. Feelings.

I still love CR. I still love LoVM. And of course I love y'all. Bidet.

[broodpuff]

she deserved so much better, i will forever wish laura neal the worst

EVE POLASTRI | TAKE ME TO THE HOLE (Killing Eve, 1x05)

bonus:

[barbiedreamtomb]

i made a playlist for my best gal <3

(track listing etc under the cut)

the world

i am the river - lael neale / heavy balloon - fiona apple / fire - kimya dawson / summer cold - bedouine / hello earth - kate bush / the apocalypse song - st vincent

annabel lee

abbey - mitski / mermaids - florence + the machine / gold dust woman - fleetwood mac /sleep to dream - fiona apple / buy the stars - marina / cop car - mitski

“the body”

entombed in ice - avalon emerson / haunted water - SPELLLING / newspaper - fiona apple

nona <3

human behaviour - björk / once in a lifetime - talking heads / i just love you more - kate nash / sea of love - cat power / and she was - talking heads / how big, how blue, how beautiful - florence + the machine / the wheel - laura stevenson / crash - charli xcx / leave my body - florence + the machine

the unlocked tomb

don’t fence me in - amyl and the sniffers / seether - veruca salt / fallen alien - fka twigs / do you take this man - diamanda galás / it’s not a fashion statement, it’s a fucking deathwish - my chemical romance

[ethan-nestor-owns-my-heart]

Rip sapphic Jesus x2

[wearevillaneve]

I wonder if Sandra knows just how much she's done for us with what she was saying 🥺 and the way she was contradicting what the spawn of satan said about eve is so relieving, and we know that Jodie & Sandra have the same thoughts more or less so to know that they truly understand their characters and contradict what Laura Neal said....just healed a part of me

[sapphosdickandballs]

Watching you have what seems to be a mental breakdown over fictional lesbians that (maybe?) want to kill each other is sure an Experience.

Wanna ramble about it?

Ohhhh absolutely. They do want to kill each other yeah. The shows called Killing Eve and it will give you mental breakdowns if you watch it (I recommend)

So the plot of the first season is this assassin named Villanelle becomes obsessed with this detective Eve, and Eve becomes obsessed with her. It almost becomes a cat and mouse, but the mouse is fascinated by the cat and keeps seeking her out (and actually lands a couple hits against her. Cat and cat?). The first two seasons are perfection. Incredible. The ending to the second season made me start yelling at my screen.

It’s like. Doomed yuri at its finest. Delicious codependency. I like the first season because it feels very like. Loose. Like oh yeah this is what’s happening. Ridiculous, but like addicting. The second season is a little more focused, and their spirals of obsession get more intense and it’s perfection honestly. And then there aren’t any more seasons! Zero! It ended at two and I won’t hear it! Although you should look up Villaneve kiss on YouTube because it’s incredible, and improvised which is sooooo. Wow.

I can’t tell if this makes sense but they make me insane. Like all they do is try to kill each other and they’re literally so romantic. Yk?? Also Jodie Comer (miss Villanelle) deserves 5 billion awards she plays a sociopath so well. So I would recommend. But do Not watch the other two seasons. The reason it went downhill is each season is made by a different director. In my opinion the second is as good as the first, tho some disagree. Some people really like the third season, I think it’s meh. We universally agree that the fourth season is teh worst tho. I swear Laura Neal is homophobic because she fucking ruined their characters. Ugh. Also spoilers but

She kills villanelle at the end??? Kills her?? I’ll bet she was like oh ho ho it’s called killing eve let’s kill villanelle instead. Let’s rip eve's life apart after they finally found happiness together. Let’s ruin the hearts of lesbians worldwide. Laura you are at the top of my hit list. I’m calling villanelle on you